Legends of Avantris - Uprooted | S3E3 | Faith in the Flame
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Last time, Anna Prudin, Bitsy died.
I don't know what else to say this.
I don't know what else to say this.
Not the only death.
Bitsy died as, who was it?
Was it Peggy and Grumley?
Or no, did you go unconscious?
I went unconscious.
So yeah, Jean-Claude, Bitsy, and Grumley went unconscious.
And Booker and Peggy were able to bring back John
Claude and Cromley, but Bitsy hit her head really hard.
And Daryl, the natural one.
The Natural One, as the bleeding star, this alleged portent of the return of the rider of war,
was in the sky.
And Bitsy was brought to a strange dreamscape through these woods,
seeing mysterious antlered figure and saw a great fortress.
A head blazing with the shape of a heart and a great armored king extending the fiery sword and extending a hand.
But a great black lake appeared before her in this strange realm as Booker attempted to give her the kiss of life.
and she extended,
she decided to go and dive into the water
instead of proceeding to this strange fortress,
this great castle,
and was returned to life mysteriously,
having seemingly lost many memories.
Then once they came to,
they realized that the forest was burning
to the,
to the West.
And they started to force fire,
Smoky the Bear was there.
Oh, God.
He died terribly.
That was my favorite fucking moment.
Yeah.
No, not the Grace by the Fire!
No, he got his name.
I think he did name him, yeah.
Bernie.
Bernie.
Bernie.
Bernie.
He basically said, hey, you're going to put that out.
The Greek.
The Greek.
The Greek.
The grease and his shaggy fur.
I mean, he had knighted and he burned
a death. It's like fucking Biddy Palm.
Oh my God. He burned so much
that Bitsy ripped his skull off
and had some strange
vision with it and it
guided the gang
West in the direction
as the wildfire
exploded around you and Beauregard
T. Raccoon once again almost died.
God, what's come back. Is he alive?
Once again, almost died
but Booker managed to save him.
As you found your way, a Shrek-themed meal,
was not had, was not enjoyed.
But you eventually arrived at the strange clearing
of Drake Smith, the major port town of this,
and you realize what the fire actually was.
It was the burning of the fortifications of the Erie,
forces. Seemingly, these hooded figures, many of them lizards, had done some sort of coup and
all of the eerie banners and their soldiers are in a great pile towards the western side of town
being burned. And as you all approached, you were greeted by a hooded figure who welcomed
Bitsy is allegedly one who was foretold to
wake dragons from stone.
But
what happens next?
I mean, I don't know who it's up to.
I don't know who it's up to.
You don't want to give us that power.
You don't want to do that.
You don't want to do that.
I can't tell you anything.
What was the town that was taken over by a lizard?
Drake Smith. Drake Smith.
It was an Erie town. It was basically where the
Erie was attempting. You wouldn't know this.
Especially at least Grumley might know this.
They were burning something?
Sorry.
So, yeah, effectively that this town had been kind of the,
had been belonged to the Marquis-Zacht for a long time.
Had been ruled by the Marquis-Zot,
but had relatively recently been taken over from forces
that had been at Muckpet Creek.
And they took it over to claim the port,
which is very valuable to get supplies
and trade supply lines,
and also for a great number of wealthy people
visiting from the Hollywood, the neighboring forest,
the Hollywood.
But seemingly, in a great moment, in a great horrible massacre,
and there's dozens of corpses that you see.
As you all see this smoking pile of charred, flesh, bone, wood, metal,
You see numerous weapons, fortifications, siege weaponry, all being brought, and the fire, you see a great number of fires lit throughout.
Great burn and smoldering remnants of night fires, presumably perhaps, by this strange group of hooded figures.
But you see the town has been untouched.
You see that there is some fire damage on the residential areas, some down by the wharf.
You see the Great Harbor down at the end of this by the sea,
and the sea air whips the smoke as it billows up, and ash falls down as you look up
as dawn has finally come to the dimwood.
The bleeding star is gone.
But is the rider of war?
The lizard looks at you, Betsy.
strange eyes that smolder like embers
not unlike what you had seen in burning skull
welcoming you knowing of your arrival
what do you all do
how far are they
the group of them
is still probably
20, 30 feet off
piling and you see a number of hooded figures
going around some of the townsfolk of the critters
of this clearing are kind of peeking through their windows.
There's a great sense of fear and trepidation.
The only people that are out are all wearing the same kind of simple hoods,
simple robes as they seem to go about their work.
You see knives bloodied and other strange weaponry that seems so simple.
But you see some morning stars, some simple clubs, a couple of them with axes and swords,
but for the most part, just rudimentary weapons that seem to have completely deposed the eerie
presence in this clearing.
And it's clear that at least one of these figures is looking directly.
Yes, sorry.
And then one that has come forward with these strange ember-like eyes is staring
at Bitsy, kind of with this welcoming
hand, welcoming her as
the, as she who was promised.
Hey, Bitsy, do you know that person?
They're looking at you. Do I know this person?
Roll a intelligence check, history
advantage. Get in a feeling that they
look at you like they're expecting you.
Well, I'll say, and they mention something of a prophecy.
How many prophecies are you?
involved in? I rolled 212s, I get an 11. It's not a fail. It's not a fail. You, better than 10. You've seen those eyes before. And you recall something. You can't recall if it was something you experienced in a dream. Was it something that you experienced?
in the materials of your upbringing?
Did your family give you books with these eyes?
It's hard to tell. It's murky. There's something familiar here.
I'm not sure if I know him, but he's very familiar if you know what I mean.
Okay. Well, would you like me to initiate a conversation with them, or do you want to have a conversation with them?
I turn and immediately address the ember-eyed lizard man wearing his hooded robe.
Welcome. You have arrived right as you were meant to.
I don't know about meant to, but we stumbled into this area. I'm awfully hurt and all of my friends are a little bit of trouble. I see you guys are dealing with a lot, but, you know, we could use some help.
I can provide you
No help
The help
Nor can my fellow faithful
Do you know where we could find
Maybe some food and some shelter
That kind of thing
Because you know
We've had a bit of the time
We need medical attention
We're dying
The dim was on fire
And what was all that stuff you said
About like all that stuff
About like you know
Bitsy being special
And like being born in ashen salt and the chosen.
Amidst salt and smoke, neath the bleeding star,
she who will wake dragons from stone.
Oh, yeah, that.
What's that all about?
Yeah, that sounds really cool.
What's that all about?
It sounds real scary.
What's that all about?
Literal God didn't tell me about that one.
You're faithful.
Do you worship him too?
I don't know if it's scary.
It sounds cool.
As the first gardener dreamed, it has come to pass.
As the great dragons of our faith, all stone for eons but no more.
As the moon turns to blood, as the riders wake, all shall be remade.
Listen, all of that sounds really awesome, but there's been a lot of smoke inhalation.
All right, Grumley's going to have black lung.
And look at his flat face.
He already can't breathe, okay?
We need help.
I got to take notes from this guy.
When I was talking about literal God, I was way too literal, I think.
This guy's cryptic sayings are so much cooler than the stuff I would say.
But you think the moon's going to bleed too?
You think that the homunculus is going up there and battling a literal God?
you think that's going to end up in blood?
You say you communicate with the god.
He walks surprisingly quickly to him.
Wow, whoa, ho!
Not he?
He's fast.
He's fat that speed.
I'll say, well, yes.
I've communed with literal God
and the god that once, I think,
maybe he is on the moon currently,
but he spoke to me, yes,
and up until what I could only assume,
was the death of all the gods and the looser of the demons onto the earth.
For hell is empty.
I'm trying to.
I'm trying the cryptic.
Dude, you said that last time, and it freaked me out.
You're going to say it again?
You got to hold this up, bro.
No, guys, I don't know what you're going to hold this.
Probably at this point.
I don't know what's real and what is it.
Okay.
I'll say, Benzie, hand over Bernie's skull.
You got to get the crazy bear vision.
Oh, yeah.
We watch this guy.
Hold on.
I don't read that you.
Wait, did you also have crazy bear visions?
Or was it?
Oh, I said, I was holding the skull.
And then suddenly Bernie was speaking
Or something was happening.
I don't know what was speaking.
But something from beyond was reaching out
to give me a knowing of a deep and dark truth.
But it was really just scary.
But yes.
Sorry, sir.
And you have a name.
In the robe.
Can you help us out?
We got a lot of sorts.
You're doing a very creepy stare thing.
I hold up.
Do you believe he has power here?
I'll say.
Do you believe he can hear your cries?
Do you believe he sees you?
Well, I say just not but
moments ago he gave all of us
the ability to fly off a crate
and out from the underdark
and then into the realms above.
First off, that was night here and also
no, that was a night here.
No, that wasn't a guy doesn't have nearly as much power.
Not here.
He didn't do anything.
I say, I say.
No, he absolved me of my sins and he saved my own soul.
I see. That's rough.
No, no. Look, we've been
getting a little bit of theological debates lately. I was a blasphemer before. Grumly did 35 in the
games of course and his soul was cleansed. It's true. And only literal God did that. Night here had us
thrown up water. I'm not convinced. And it was gross water. Folly. You shall not hear of your God.
Ha! Told you. Get him! Well, I, well, how do you know? How do you know that I haven't heard him since I've been up here?
What do you know, hooded figure?
I know that there is one true God.
Okay, well that's a little...
All else are pretenders.
Yours, false.
Yours an abomination.
Okay, okay. Watch yourself, buddy.
That's strange. That's oddly also what I believe.
Wait.
There's one true God and yours is an abomination and not true.
Are you saying that your God's different from a god named literal God?
Or is your god also literal god?
A phantom pretender.
Oh, dang!
I say who's mine or his?
Yes.
Damn, this guy is like...
Oh, this guy's good. This guy's good.
He is pretty good.
Maybe it's the robe.
I gotta get me one of those.
Have no need of a name.
I am called the gardener.
And you have come to our garden.
Oh, well, Mr. Gardiner.
Do you happen to have a pamphlet perhaps on this one true God?
And could he also save my immortal soul?
Hang on, Grum.
I mean, that's already happened.
So no need for any more saving of your immortal soul.
Okay, the literal God took care of that.
And Mr. Gardner, if you are as such as you say,
I don't know if you noticed this,
but you're not doing a very good job.
As my friend Booker has noted that the forest around us is on fire.
So that's just about just the number one thing
you don't want to have happen when you're gardening.
It's setting everything on fire.
He's got a good point.
Yeah.
From the ashes of destruction, great renewal as possible.
Only through the purging dragons fire.
Can there be the regrowth of this corrupt,
vile, putrid woodland need?
Is this guy having an answer for everything?
I'll say it reminds me this piece of shit.
Lord, I used to argue against wore a mask
and everything. In addition to the whole rope thing, I think the thing you gotta get to your name.
You're using your actual name. We gotta start calling you like the literal cock or something.
Oh, the dog.
He's a literal cock.
That's what I'm saying. We gotta get away from Jean-Claude and just call you the literal cock.
No, it's just the gardener. It was so cool, man.
Mine's not as good, I guess. We're not married to it. We can come back to it.
Wait, well, what's yours?
No, no, I came up with that. I'm saying I came up with it.
Oh, I say, I'll say, no, literal co. A literal cock.
his name is still Mr. Chanticleer though. But I'm saying he's got to ditch the name. He's got to
become like the blank. He's saying I need some form of monica to really lean into like this guy's
got the hood. He's got the cryptic say he got to say jesusiqua. He needs no name. He is the
gardener. I'm not you know some I need some kind of like I am the herald. I need no name.
Are you the herald? I mean grummer there was a time there was a time in which I thought is
might flowed through my body, and then I, with these hands, enacted his mighty will.
And then he let us fly, and that was really cool.
I'm so, even though I still have wings, so it was kind of just redundant.
Mr. Sean Declare, I have a question.
Far away, Grumley.
Do you hear his voice still?
Well.
Tell me you hear his voice still, please.
Grummy, I have to admit to you in the above ground.
Ever since we flew here and we gazed upon the star,
which bleeds is the gardener has described.
And more so, if since the homunculus is flown to the moon,
where a literal god was anxious about that news,
have yet to hear his voice speak to me.
It doesn't worry me except to, you know, make me believe that all the gods are dead,
hell is empty, and the demons walk amongst us.
Oh, no.
Well, maybe I should learn more of them.
They do.
and they shall
and it is only
through the Lord of
Flame and Shadow
that they shall be burned away
I say I say
His God's got a cool title too
You know I gotta be honest
He's really starting to sway me here
I know I got the whole night of your thing
And like the deep sea ocean thing was cool
But flame and shadow
I mean next you're gonna tell me is your God doesn't have a name
He doesn't need a name
I say I say he just has the title
Lord of Flame and Shadow
Yes
Damn it!
God!
Let me this, God's cool.
I gotta be honest, I'm getting convinced.
His true name
is not comprehensible or pronounceable
by such simple tongues such as your son.
Can you pronounce it?
I dare not utter his divine name
upon my mortal unworthy lips.
Yeah, but could you?
You have the ability to.
Can you say, the Lord of Flame and Shadow?
Yeah.
That is all you need.
Okay, I just want to see if he could be
Bain, you beat him in a doing it.
I don't know. This guy seems like he's a stone walled.
He seems a little unflappable.
It seems as though he's going to hold his ground.
Have you engaged in mortal combat
against others that you deem lesser
or that your God besieges you to bring to justice
and have you ever fallen in battle
and has his power resurrected you?
I have not fallen.
Yet, do you ask if I have killed?
Have you?
As he stands next to you,
he moves shockingly fast.
I need you to make a Dexterity saving.
No, I'm not good at that.
Oh, God, oh, man, oh God.
16.
16, you are able to dodge out of the way
as he produces a blade that is
almost like a marbled with black and red
that is covered with dried, crust, and blood.
As he, for a second, you think that he's moving to attack you,
but he actually flips the blade around
and presents it to Bitsy and says,
I no longer have need for this.
The tyrants have been de-feathered.
as he presents this mysterious ornate dagger.
I will grasp the handle and slowly pull it from his hand and turning it.
Look at the intricacies of its design and metalworking.
I'll look at the coolness of the blade.
Mr. Deneur?
I...
Oh, gosh, she thinks his first name was gone.
This is...
Is this the end times?
Why?
Why is this happening?
Is this to do with the Illuminati?
Is this to do with the powers in control?
Tell me what it means to make dragons from stone.
That is the key.
It is you who will unlock
our salvation
deep below.
Me?
You
and
those who will
remake our world
their sacrifice
is the only hope of
salvation
but the Lord of flame and
shadow
flies above you
if only you
can wake
his servants from stone.
This, this Lord, have you seen him? Have you heard him described?
I have seen him in the flames, yes?
As I have seen you.
I have just awoken to this place. I, I, I don't, the world's brand new and can't end right now, right?
The second, it's, it's only been a day.
Only two of the four rides.
have wakened. Oh, good. So you know about our plague problem that's kind of festering on the ground in the tunnels with the mole people?
It rots the wood. Okay, good. I'm gonna get to that next. Well, and the brand of the rod of war. Well, that one's obvious, but nobody's looking underneath of us. Well, that's fair. It even creeps here. Our night fires
rage and it keeps it at bay for a time for the night air itself is filled with plague. It is a
only a matter of time, for this time is the end.
You may take what shelter and nourishment you wish.
Show that blade, and you will have what you desire.
I return to our garden.
There has been a great offering to the soil.
He looks over at the huge pile of corpses and weapons that are now burning
and smoldering, the scent of burning feathers,
fur and flesh, is getting more potent.
As you see now that there are shadows,
despite it being dawn,
the stars get darker as the ash in the sky
seems to blot out the sun as it rises.
and you see that there's these dancing shadows and shapes that twist.
You can almost see as if they're not sure if it's being twisted on its own
or their shadows being cast by the hooded figures before the flame,
gyrating.
You can't tell if it's a dancer, something else,
but they're moving in erratic ways as they cry out in a strange tongue you don't understand.
Mr. De Niro, I was going to show you this burnt bearhead, this skull, but I have to repeat you.
I have to, I have to, hold on, this is too nice.
I'm going to reach into my pack and I'll shuffle some of the items in there and then I'll.
All right, all right. Here, I don't know what you like, so you can choose.
You can have this pen with like a beehead on the, on the end of it here or this simple ring.
And I hold up a small golden rings.
Eve, would you accept one of these in exchange for you your nice knife?
That was forged.
And the hell is flame.
Who needed?
Oh, Jesus.
Bidsey's collecting like inchip legendary celestial artifacts.
I will take the bee.
God.
Should I just leave the skull here?
Do you think we should keep it?
I mean, it kind of cumbersome to carry around.
I mean, how many more burning bear visions are we going to need?
I hope.
I hope not more.
Yeah, I'm with you on that one, Bidsey.
All right.
Why don't we just add him to the heap?
I just drew over to the burning vile.
Mr. Deneer, can you, can you add this, this, this, this, this bear skull to the heap?
Can you add this bear skull to the heap?
That.
Do I need this to?
Yes.
That damn it.
Son of a god.
Sacrificial prophet,
a great enemy attempting to put out fires.
I had no idea his entire life was one manipulated
to be turned into the perfect sacrifice
at that precise moment.
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
You're trying to tell me that this guy,
this bear that showed up out of nowhere,
every single thing in his life led him to that moment
of him accidentally getting grease all over to him
right next.
to a fire? I mean, you
should have seen the way he went up. There was
nowhere to see him. I did.
What, you saw it? In the flames.
Did you have something to do
with this?
Enjoy your day
here. I return
to the garden.
I'm starting to hate this. I don't like this guys.
Well, actually, I, Booger, this is good news,
kind of. I mean, if this
ever comes up, I really thought we murdered that
guy. I thought in a court of law, there's no
there's no possible way.
We don't all go to the gallows for this one.
Even though it was an accident?
Well, I accident, I mean, we kind of flung oil at him.
I mean, it's got a like worst case, it's murder too.
But I think with this guy, I mean, we started to point the fingers in his direction.
I mean, bastard plausible.
Another person of interest.
You're going to claim in a court of law that we have no free will.
And this just happened because we were following a destined path.
If it comes to it, Buckley, yes, I'll claim anything.
It just has to sound.
real. And if this guy's telling us that a probable, an anti-profit that wants to put out fires was born to die in that exact moment, then by God I'll take the stand and I'll say that it's the literal God's honest truth. I will, Booker. I will. Oh boy, I'm feeling less good about this by the second. I'll be honest. Well, the creepy dagger doesn't bode well. Thank you, Mr. Deneur. We're going to go rest.
I need not your thanks.
I need you to simply play your part,
as does the frog mother as he rises to the waxen moon,
and he turns around and starts walking off towards the...
His eyes kind of go up into the looks above you and behind you
as he turns as he walks off towards the pile of corpse.
Goodbye, Gar, have a nice day.
Finally, someone who makes sense.
Gosh.
Okay, all right. We got a few things to hash out here.
I am okay having absolutely no fucking idea what's going on.
I'm okay with it. I am. Honestly, I know that sounds a little unlikely, me being the one that generally has an idea of what we got to do and where we got to go.
I am okay giving up the reins on this one.
But what happens when we're next?
What happens when we're on that giant flaming pile of bullshit?
Is anyone else worried about that?
I'm worried about a lot of things, but...
That's kind of my whole thing.
So, yes, that is one of the things that I'm worried about.
So what are we gonna do?
Well, can we convert to this guy's religion?
And follow the...
What is the god of shadow and flame?
I mean, that's just bad ass.
I know.
But what if that doesn't stop us?
What if that just gets us one step closer being burned alive?
Well, I say at the very least,
I mean, he believes in prophetic intonations,
and he thought burn.
had shown up to die in that exact moment so that Bitsy would claim his skull.
So as far as he's concerned, he needs Bitsy to enact some crazy part of his god's crazy play.
Is anyone else concerned about that?
She's collecting apparently mythic-level artifacts here, a flaming bear's skull,
some sort of knife that will definitely give you hepatitis, and some sort of magic ring?
What if you had a gold ring on you the whole time?
Hepatitis? I found the ring after I murdered some...
What? You what?
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Nobody else is concerned about this.
Bissi lost her memory and now all of a sudden she's some prophet,
some integral part of some god of shadow and flame?
No, no, I'm concerned.
The whole point is that everybody here is safe.
We can't die.
We're not going to end up on a burning pile.
We're part of some larger purpose.
That's what Peggy brought us here for.
I got to see.
She created the universe.
She's bigger than literal God,
bigger than the Lord.
Lord of flame and shadow.
She's bigger than all of it.
She created this world.
Magic itself.
Peggy, did you hear all that stuff he said about the frog mother and the waxing moon?
You turn around.
And Peggy's not there.
Until you see a flutter above you,
as you see that Peggy is about 45 feet in the air.
Her eyes and mouth open as it makes that exact sound.
And you hear that exact noise from the bevelers around the flame.
As Peggy's eyes and mouth are open,
as her large frog mouth is open,
and the bulbous pocket is inflated as she ascends up
and through the smoke and through the fog.
You see that the moon is setting,
but there seems to be a second moon.
through the sky that Peggy is rising towards.
And she's rising higher and higher and higher
as the smoke billows you hear this...
I imagine the chorus of like shrieking is like, hold on our ears.
Oh, absolutely. It's like absolutely terrifying.
Look at her go! She's going! She's doing her thing!
Holy shit!
Wait, she's... how did she fly again? What can't Rousse of us for? Peggy!
I'm presuming she's not wearing any clothes.
Yeah. No, absolutely.
I'm going to grab her. She's covered in oil.
She's never been more new.
The flapping thing was actually her robe
and her hat,
falling down as they descend.
And you realize now that a great
bit of wind, hot wind, hits you
as the smoke.
You see her for one last minute
before the smoke completely
swallows her from view as she
rises into the sky.
Okay, all right, great.
So we've lost Peggy.
She obviously has some role in this.
Bitsy has some kind of role in this.
Frog mother.
She must be, and so it's only a matter of time
for the three of us get burned alive.
I'm gonna like gently pick up her robe and hat
and like fold them.
Her robe and wizard hat both land there.
And it's almost, it's almost solid
as they land and you realize,
in
you feel something hard
as you fold that
is
you look down
make the wisdom
saving go
11
wait
are clerics aren't proficient
are they
are you paladin
sorry
palinns are proficient
are they
are we
charisma
have a character
I don't believe so
11
um
you pull out
Peggy's Cloud Mask
as it fills you with dread
as you have the frightened condition.
Oh, wait, no, I have proficient.
Oh, it's charisma and wisdom.
It's 13.
13, that is not enough.
You are, you drop this.
As you see the mask, as it, as you pull it out of the robe
and it hits the ashen floor,
as you see this horrifying,
a grotesque clown mask.
Skitter out.
Not skitter, but collapse out.
Oh, God, sir.
You all right?
I'm afraid of it.
You are.
Hey, hey, hey, grumly, it's all right.
It's okay.
And you realize in this moment
that you have a phobia of that.
I have a phobia.
It's okay.
Brumley, gruntlet.
Just turn around, close your eyes.
Of clouds or of masks
or of things falling out of robe.
the mask itself. I'll get it.
I'll get it. And I'll go over, seeing what Grumley
had wanted to do, and try to just
like politely collect her
belongings and gently put them together.
Yeah, I think that given that this
had was a jump scare for Drumley,
this is a... I have choloro
mascophobia. He's just
a little sensitive, all right? He's sensitive.
I have a phobia of clown masks.
I don't know why I never felt it before.
But now I know.
Well, it was pretty shocking having it
could follow the robe like that. I don't blame you.
And it's a pretty scary mask, so it's a reasonable thing to be afraid of.
Maybe I'm just a little sensitive and on edge, given the whole like end of the world thing
and the fact that Peggy just like ascended to the moon.
Yeah, you know, there's a lot we're not sure about right now.
It's a confusing time.
Look, I don't know your name, but you better sack up.
This is the end times, all right?
Mr. DeNirre made it very clear that we all play a part in this, and we all have a role to play.
I think really it's just you and Peggy have a role to play in all this.
He didn't really mention us at all.
No, no, we're all here.
We know each of this.
We're like her disciples and whatnot.
And by the way, don't talk to him like that.
Just because this is the end of the world doesn't mean we lose our manners.
We're still friends.
I just want him to be brave.
He is brave.
He's not acting brave.
He's only like, uh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Well, he's the bravest creature I know.
I've got to know.
I literally have a phobia of that.
The words coming out of his mouth.
Look, what?
Okay.
So?
So that's being afraid.
He faced his fear.
didn't he? That's bravery.
Well, actually, you had to pick it up and put it away.
He was pretty crippled by here.
Did you see it? Did you see the face?
And like the horrible smile?
It was pretty scary. It's all right. You did a great job.
Don't let Bidz against you.
It's okay. I got it. I took care of it. We're good.
Is it gone?
Are you sure it's gone?
I stuck everything in my belongings to make sure that Peggy's collectibles.
Leave a little checkroom.
You'd see.
the outline.
That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
I'm pretty good. No, maybe I don't want to see it out.
You don't want it high. You don't want to be at. No, I don't want to.
Oh, shit. Oh, I can fix this.
Perception? Oh, 20.
No, no, no. Hold on. Hold the fucking phone.
Cutting word.
Give me a second. I don't want me spell slots.
Let me see if I have a feature here that can help with this.
An anti-perception feature?
My God.
By the gods.
I don't think some.
Tracting six from that's gonna be enough to be a 14. I'd have to read a 15.
14's good enough. We could try. As a bonus action, I can expend one of my Bartik inspiration, choose the creature I can see even 60 feet.
Roll the inspiration die and you must subtract the number from the saving throw. Oh, it's a saving throw. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't think there's anything new here, buddy.
You see the chin. The chin is still fucking out.
Oh my god, my God, wow, wow, wow. I can still shoot your chin. Oh, God. Wow, wow, wow. I can still shoot your chin.
Okay, okay, and I look to see where I try to tuck it in deeper.
It looks like the chin of a Swedish character actor.
Listen, buddy, I'm back here for you.
I need you to like, you know, come on.
I'm a phobia, no.
No, no, you're brave.
You're brave. Doesn't it though?
Doesn't it?
Doesn't?
That the chin?
Yeah, it does.
It's weird.
It's weird.
I agree.
I see it.
I see it.
Okay.
Is it gone now?
It's gone now.
It's gone now.
I take extra care to make sure that it's,
The mask is completely tucked away.
You do that, and it's finally gone.
It's all right, probably.
It's all right.
Guys, guys, I think we need to convert to the religion of this god of flames and shadows and bones and ash and salt.
I'm not opposed.
Let's just do it.
Let's just, I'll find a pamphlet.
We'll go to the garden.
We'll sacrifice whatever we need to.
and we'll join their clutch or whatever,
and that maybe we'll survive, like, the end of all things.
I'm just worried that all the roads leave to us, there's ashen bone.
You're all so concerned about what religion we are?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter what you believe.
What's going to happen is going to happen.
That's the real truth.
Well, yeah, but, I mean, it doesn't quite matter what you believe,
but that guy's god gave him a cool, like obsidian dagger of onyx and bread,
and my god only ever gave me a list of things to do.
I can't speak to your God, but I can say that that Mr. Neneur, he knows what's going on.
He saw the truth.
You all need to see the truth too.
I wonder if there's a Mrs. Deneur.
I don't know.
He probably took some kind of vow that wouldn't let him, you know, entertain that sort of
thing. Even better.
Do you think Peggy saw
the truth? Well, she saw something.
You see her face? That's where she's going.
Her face was all like
and she's gone.
It could be the Chad's bringing her up to the moon or something.
I mean, she was kind of ascending. Yeah, but when did she get that
chorus of choir singers? That shit was crazy.
And the heroes violins doing that
spiky music? That came out of nowhere.
That school was fucking insane.
Yeah, it really was.
Holy shit
Why don't we go
Get a meal
I feel lost guys
I don't know even what to say or what to do
Well I gotta wonder
I mean ever since I met you guys
You were all you were held
To be hanged for crimes most heinous
And then we met a mob boss
And kind of a liminal space
If I'm being honest
And then we were out in the woods
And we were beset upon by an is salon
It was scary a centipede like
You know
Hangers on
What?
And then we dove into a hole in the ground, and we met a rider of pestilence, and now a rider of war,
cuts twain the sky.
And so I got to ask.
I mean, I've written a little bit off of just that this seems to be what happens to you guys.
But your shock at our surroundings is getting me a little more nervous than even what's happening here.
Can I ask you a question, John, Claude?
Well, yes, book.
Of course.
Leave answer honestly.
Well, probably not.
but it depends on the question if it makes me uncomfortable i might lie to it oh okay yeah i'd appreciate it if you
didn't do you think this is our punishment do you think that we actually create uh enacted a crime
most heinous and deserve to be hanged and and because you helped us get out of it that this is our
punishment oh you're saying like what if this is like the season finale of lost and we just never
actually left the gallows, huh?
I would never reference a show so
mediocre.
Yeah, well, let's not talk about lost.
I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it.
But otherwise, sure.
Look, I propose
we do what Mr. DeNert said.
I take this obsidian knife,
and we'll threaten our way to food and rest.
And everyone would listen to me because I got
this cool, badass or in a knife.
But before we do,
that guy over there,
isn't he your dad, the one that they're dragging over to the bonfire?
Why do you, scatty, freeze?
So, we're not watching this happen?
I turn to the group and I say,
okay, I know that given the circumstances,
I should have immediately started running over there,
but do we really want to get involved in this?
It's up to you.
I mean, the man seems unkillable.
Did you see how fast that hood and figure move
I'm not sure we could stop him even if we tried, book.
I think your dad is lost.
Oh, where are you taking me?
I think it's lost.
All right.
This score of strings and choirs really unsettling.
Just give me one minute.
I was just trying to add.
It's your dad, Blugger.
If you try to use any of your stuff that requires material components, you can't do that.
No, no, no.
We're a little limited in how we can save him.
Just give me.
Oh, yeah, I got about that.
Just give me one minute.
And with the speed of somebody who is taking a stroll,
on a Sunday to go get a coffee in a donut shop.
I slowly make my way over to where this scene is happening.
I don't rush. I don't rush.
You make your, you very slowly, and you see, oh, gods, what are you going to do?
You see that someone, as they're trying, oh, God, you're going to burn me alive.
Oh, no.
Did it?
I do as a child.
As soon as I'm like within, you know, you know.
shouting distance.
Excuse me,
excuse me,
at risk of
inevitably being tossed
into the flames
with my dear old dad.
Can I ask
what's going on
real quick?
You're still ways off.
Hey!
Hey!
I'm shouting,
I'm making my way over.
It's like taking a sweet time.
Yeah, I'll say,
has you always had an uncle,
Daniel?
I don't know.
I've never met a Daniel.
Oh.
Oh wait, hold on.
What was that? What are you gonna do to me?
Oh, strong genes and bloodline?
I need to pass it on.
Oh, dear cowl.
Oh, it's mixed summer now.
A throne of bird skulls?
Oh, you're not bringing me to the...
And you see as they walk towards this smoke kind of clears
and a group of hooded figures are actually dragging him to this...
I don't know what to say this.
It's a throne of charred skulls.
Jesus.
As they drag him up and sit him on top of it
and place a strange skull of ashy bone on top of it.
Oh boy!
A, Booker, your old man might be some sort of prophesied God king.
I will eventually make him like close to the
Oh, I assume.
Oh, okay.
Hey, Dad.
Hi.
Yeah, that's me.
Are you all right?
Oh, oh, what is this?
Oh, a goblet of wine from the skulls of your enemy.
Oh, our enemies.
Booker, we've killed all of us.
Okay, Dad.
I'll ask again, are you all right?
I'm sure glad this isn't poison.
Well, I was just going to say, Dad,
Are you sure that you want to do this?
Are you sure?
It's probably got a lot of drugs.
Are you sure you want to do this, Dad?
Do you need saving again?
Oh, Booker.
He looks down at you.
Yeah.
As you see now that all of the cultists have kind of spread out to kind of leave.
It's like a little eerie.
Yeah.
It's where there had been this chanting and cheering.
It's now eerily silent.
As all has come to rest.
And even the coals have ceased their breath.
as
in the sound of the sea you don't hear
is your father
wearing his ratty clothes
you realize that they've put a robe over it
and there's a strange
skull of
bone and teeth
that he wears. It's the same's crown
of bone and teeth.
As he looks down at you
and he holds the
skull goblet
I don't want to say this.
Yeah, yeah.
Do I need to remind you
that generally when things seem
too good to be true, they are?
Oh, what was that?
And there's this like strange,
this strange little hooded figure
that's kind of whispering up.
Son of a bitch.
Like, like,
wringing his hands.
Yeah, it's grimy, liar tongue.
Yeah, yeah.
You see,
you see, you see,
You see this little, little, little scale hands
as you whisper in his ears, into his ear.
And he says, Booker, I have the stuff of dragons.
You hear this?
See, I always knew I was destined for something greater
than wasting away at the casino.
It's like I was meant to be within a dragon.
Oh, it's great.
Oh, it's great.
It's what he says.
You have an advisor now.
You have an advisor.
Did you hear what you just said?
He's my dearest friend.
What was your name again, buddy?
To be in a dragon.
Did you just hear that?
What if they're going to feed you to a dragon?
My old pal, Mr. Bonderpick.
Oh, Mr. Bonderpick.
Yeah, what was your first name?
Oh, he said his first initial is S.
Okay.
And you're going to listen to your new best friend over your own son?
I mean, I mean, you got a problem with your old man.
and finally making something of himself?
No,
finally getting a throne.
No, it's not that, Dad.
They're bowing to me.
I don't even know these people.
You don't find that odd or concerning,
even in the slightest.
Why would I look a gift horse in the mouth,
which is a strange saying for the dim wood but still exists?
Listen, Dad, I'm going to say this one time.
One time.
So you better listen up.
This is going to bite you in the ass.
promise you.
What do you think about this?
My oldest friends.
Dad, I'm your son.
Oh, your first name is what?
Ah, Satan-hearted.
Oh, it's a family name, Booker. Don't worry about it.
Oh, yeah, I'm not worried about that at all.
Booker, my loyal advisor, Satan-hearted Bohn-de-pick, says that you're simply jealous that I have a cool-ass skull from.
There it is. I knew that was coming.
Okay.
And you're just jealous that your old man
finally found some success after our...
You know what?
I thought that we had really reconnected
after the whole snafu with the Trek-themed dinner.
You know, I did too.
You fat unbreakful slob!
I should have left you for dead in the woods
like six times!
Six times!
You remember this moment, Dad?
Because when you're burning alive
and screaming in pain,
Bucca's not going to be there to help you.
Oh, no.
all of the followers are gonna drag him into the fire.
There's definitely pews in that one, right?
Compressed cube.
This is good stuff.
So this is it, Dad.
This is what you want, this is what you're choosing.
Oh, well, why don't you stick around?
Maybe I can have my loyal followers do something nice for you, huh?
Well, why don't you get us some healing and maybe a nice meal, huh?
Why don't you do something good for change, huh?
For once in your damn life.
What do you think?
Jealous my ass.
Satan, heart, what do you think, my loyal friend?
Uh-huh.
He says you guys have a dagger and should be fine.
I don't know what to tell you.
I don't make the rules around here.
I'm just some prophesied fate-breaking king
on account of I was supposed to die in that forest fire,
and I defeated my fate,
which somehow makes me blessed or something.
It was foretold. I don't know.
You defeated your...
Yeah, I defeated by surviving my...
myself in that great blaze.
Screw you, Dad!
We are gonna take the dagger
and we're gonna be fine on our own.
We don't need you anymore.
Well, I don't think that it would be very befitting
of an immortal prophesized God King
to stoop to your level, Booker.
I think one day you're gonna see the light.
Yeah, the light's gonna be coming off your corpse
when you're in a blazing bonfire.
And I'm gonna walk away.
To rejoin my friends.
You hear, oh yes, good, good,
Oh, yes, you're very jealous, and I have that slat, blah, blah, blah.
You just say part of both that he's running to your father's here.
And is fine, who needs you?
Whatever, I'm gonna enjoy this nice, gritty.
I walk over back to the Lally Group.
Well, he's fucked.
He's apparently some now a mortal god king.
He didn't throw him in the fire.
No, not yet.
But he apparently thinks that he's, you know,
some sort of, he broke his fate, he escaped the flame, because I saved him. I saved him from
that stupid forest fire. And now he's up there on some throne. He did say that the dagger
will probably give us safe passage and it will be perfectly fine. So as long as you keep that thing
close by, we'll be okay. But you know what? When he comes back asking for help, we're not going to
help him. I'm done. We'll go and we'll use the dagger and we'll find some safe passage and all that.
But I want you to know, they're probably filling him with pupe wine.
so that they can burn him on the pie or later.
Yeah, no shit.
I mean, the thing about the pew boy in is weird,
but obviously they're going to burn him alive.
I tried to tell him that,
and he's got a new best friend,
some, you know, weasily little advisor
who's got scales on his hands,
whispering about how I'm apparently jealous.
Yeah, look.
I have done so much for that man.
I tried, and I tried, and I tried.
And he still doesn't appreciate a damn thing that I've done.
Yeah, I mean, what I don't understand is,
why you think acolytes
of the god of shadow and flame
would be serving pub wine
what even is pub wine
booker
yes
why they put pubes in the wand
do you have to ask
do I have to ask what pub wine is
well you never know around here
and with all the new knowledge
that Bitsy seems to have
who knows who knows
maybe it'll throw us a curveball
Pube wine is agnostic of the Lord
of flame in shadow
any echolids
gonna put some pubes in them and some fucking wine.
There's just standard practice.
That's an S-O-P.
Is that standard practice?
Is that some form of like
infusing fertility into the
wine? You ever had pubs in your wine?
No.
Not even once.
It's not a single time in my entire life.
You put an odd amount of things
that come from the body into your drinks.
You have a lot to learn.
Clearly.
You know,
I look around it every.
I'll look at Booker's dad far off on the throne.
What an asshole.
I'll look at Booker holding Peggy's clothes and there's everything around and I'll say,
um, you know, maybe Mr. Duner has a point.
Maybe all of this really is vile and disgusting and should burn in Dragon Fire.
You ever thought about that?
Like maybe it's time?
I can honestly say that it hasn't crossed my mind until more like today, but yeah,
I mean, the guy's got a point.
Everything that's happened to past few days,
maybe like past few weeks,
has really reminded me
this is a
grim and gritty fantasy setting.
And that long gone other days
of bluegrass and banjos.
You know, I feel like somewhere along the line
with all of the crazy things that we've done,
it's like we kind of took a left turn
and now we've over-corrected.
You know, why don't we go find yield in and enjoy a flagon of mead?
I would like that, Brunley. I'm just... I'm just tired.
I feel like I tried so hard.
No matter how hard I try, none of it matters.
When? When? When?
Yeah, when did you feel like you tried, hard?
You didn't see all the times I saved my dad over and over and over and again.
I mean, it's been six times since you joined the body.
Oh.
Oh, that, I thought you meant in like a general sense.
Like you were trying hard to...
You never met Nestor?
You never met the Wood Wizard.
Oh, he's probably dead.
You never met all of those people.
They're probably all dead.
So many people we've tried to help.
Mr. Hamilton, all of Peggy's whole line, the flailers.
That weird, creepy turkey in the basement.
Remember that guy?
Oh, yeah.
That was fucking crazy.
He was like a doctor or scientist or something.
And then that Cardinal with the bear,
we tried so hard the fox,
the young fox girl,
who was part of the resistance.
Oh, they're probably all dead, aren't they?
I can't contribute as bitty,
but there was also the lizard assassin,
the hurricane guy.
He was really cool.
Oh, he was a hummingbird.
The hurricane was a hummingbird.
The hurricane is.
Out of the hummingbird.
He had a shotgun of all things.
Oh.
Never even seen a shotgun before or after that moment.
And here we are on the end times, and I'm cursing.
Am I becoming a hecknight again?
Have I forsaken literal god?
Stop thinking about that.
Let's go get some stew.
Perhaps some hard cheese and black bread as well.
Come on.
I think I'm going to get real drunk.
I'm wearing chain mail on a tabbit for literal God's sake.
Yeah.
I should act apart.
Let's go drink.
Some Ayo.
Everybody follow me.
I'll show you the way.
I immediately lead them back into the forest.
The Yeo taverns this way.
All right.
I'll follow Bitsy.
Strange town, so well, but I mean, I guess you'd know.
Oh, wait.
This is the opposite way.
Sorry, sorry.
I turn around and I lead them to the town.
What kind of day is it when we're letting Bitsy now just lead?
We have to go with the flow.
I mean, she's the chosen one after all.
She does seem strangely more capable and a little angrier and meaner.
What does it matter?
I'm going to get so fucking drunk.
We enter the Drake Smith proper.
Yeah.
And I, apparently, as lead, because I have the ornate knife of goodwill,
I will look for peaceful.
and cozy accommodations.
You find a gloomy town.
It seems to be relatively
decently sized, a little bit
smaller than
Muckbeg Creek, but
you see that there is, or at least
was, a very robust harbor
and port. Most of the
ships that were docked here
are seemingly gone. There's only a handful
that are left, and they seem to
to be mostly just derelict fishing vessels.
And you eventually find the...
You eventually find an end.
A lot of the establishments are closed up.
A lot of the people, despite it being morning,
the day hasn't really started.
As you kind of walk through, you see through the windows,
people are pulling back their curtains,
you see darting eyes watching you suspiciously and nervously.
as you see blood throughout the streets.
Across the wall, you see what very clearly down by the docks would have been the remnants of a fight.
Scorch marks here and there.
And there's a sense of fear and smoke and death in the air.
But you eventually make your way down through these narrow streets.
Everything's a little damp.
You know that you're on the mark.
on the, right at the edge of the swamp,
despite the coast being right there,
and you see this massive gloomy gray ocean.
It's in the early, you know,
it's probably approaching mid-morning at this point,
but the fog and the gloom has mixed with the ash
to turn everything gray and black,
and the sea is choppy,
and looks extremely treacherous.
You see no ships out on the horizon,
And eventually you see glow coming from an tavern
called Belly of the Serpent.
And you see kind of a almost cartoonish-looking sea serpent
with those hoops.
Hell yeah.
Lockness, monster.
Here be dragons style on the sign.
Let's try this spot.
I think it seems all right.
Cool.
Good enough for me.
You think they have hard cheeses and black bread?
In the belly of the serpent?
Yeah, I don't know.
Belly O the serpent, actually.
The belly owe the serpent?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh, real quick.
Yeah.
As we walked by the ducks in the port,
this is me, I guess, for the game master.
Did I see any, like, stacked crates that were, like, billowing?
green mist with like flies.
And like if I took my gauntleted
like hand cursor and like hovered over it
would they like brighten up
and then like a little gear wheel.
Make a perception check. At advantage because of
your dog knows. You're going to sniff it out?
I'm going to sniff it out. That's right.
Oh, it's not.
Oh, just sniff it out.
18.
You look around
and you don't see anything.
Then you see
that
there
is
one of the ships
that is docked on the far edge of the harbor
on the longest dock
out. You see that
it seems to be abandoned.
And it's very
clearly a cargo
hauler. And
the cargo seems to have
been unloaded.
You don't see any dock workers.
And there's a strange, familiar
stench that wafts off.
the crates and you see almost like there's a almost like a the sign seems to be
of grain shows wheat a wheat symbol but it almost looks too perfectly etched and you
could swear that you see a green haze over them before it goes away and there's
just gloom but it stinks. Guys I'm not sure but I'm like
85% sure that that ship has at least one crate filled with
the grave dirt of some kind of long, far-flung homeland.
What now?
Well, how could you be 85% sure of that?
That's very specific.
Because I'll sniffed it out, of course.
Obviously, Mr. Chanticleer.
Well, that's just good.
Probably that makes sense now.
What are we supposed to do about it?
We're so close to food and rest.
Yeah, look.
I know you're honest to a fault.
I don't think that you're lying or telling a fib.
I just don't know how that is relevant or even possible.
I mean, maybe you're mistaken.
I guess that's a good point.
I mean, is that a problem?
Do we care about that?
Great dirt of a far-flung thing?
What does that even mean?
Like, all due respect.
I'll just feel like such a small pug in the big city.
You know, don't you sometimes feel as helpless?
And that, you know.
Yes, now we're not.
than ever. The world is gonna end no matter what you do.
That plague is gonna spread. You're right, there's nothing we can do. Let's go with you.
Come on, let's go inside. If it's still there when we come back out, then we can like, you know, I don't know, sink it or something.
Sink the whole ship? Yeah, if he's got a bad feeling about it, I, like I'm this close to going over there and see that I can mark it for burning or something with my knife.
Once we go, I mean, I don't know, maybe it is just grain.
Like, I think the ship itself has like a goddess of grain and like harvest on it.
I feel like it's probably fine.
Well, now don't doubt yourself, grumly.
85% sure, and you sniff these things out.
Yeah, but...
So if this is something you say we need to worry about, maybe we do need to sink the ship.
That's what I'm saying.
You should trust yourself.
Meat and hard cheeses.
Well, after we take mechanically a short rest,
given that I'm mechanically at nine hit points.
Let's get some food.
Let's take a minute to just catch a.
our breath and then we can get busy to talk
to these crazy people and they'll
burn the ship for us. I think we should relax
for the whole day. I'm at one
hit point.
That's very low. Yeah, we should
probably go and just sit down
get out our Kindles and read
whatever the fuck we want for the whole day.
Uninterrupted.
Wait, get out our
like our fire making tools?
Yeah, yeah, I've got my tinderbox right here. You know what I'm talking about.
This is a guy of flaming shadow thing already?
Uh-huh.
Oh.
You really converted quick.
I didn't convert.
There's a higher truth.
They just happen to be a part of it, you know?
Nope.
Flash him your blade and let's get some food.
Go ahead.
You go first.
We'll right behind you.
I'll walk up to the Bellio, the serpent.
Yeah.
Does the door look like I need to knock in order to enter it, or does it look like I can swing in?
No, there's a glow in the window.
It seems to be open.
you don't see much movement, but the hearth seems to be warm.
There's a bit of a glow.
It almost feels welcome on this chilly, gloomy days.
Once again, another, Gus, you felt this hot wind
by the pyre and the great night fires that were all dwindling
as morning has come from this strange cult that you've encountered.
The cult of the Lord of Flame and Shadow.
But as you've gotten closer to the same,
see, it's all behind you, and you hear the sound of some movement, but this is, it's gotten cold,
and the warmth of the fire feels invited.
I, finding myself in the surprising role of leading my three companions, I will push in through the door of the tavern, and
enjoy that warmth.
Yeah.
And guide everyone
in as we look
for food,
drink, perhaps
even a place to stay.
You enter.
And you see a great hearth
with a warm fire, and you
realize how
cold you had gotten.
After running from that wildfire
and so much flame,
the trudget you had gotten wet,
and damp from trudging through the marsh
and the swamp and
the sea air has chilled
you to the bone and it's very welcome.
You see that there
is
a small
stage off to
the left where
a
there is a musician
playing a strange
lonesome
wailing stringed
instrument that
is very
solemn. You see that
in one corner, there's a huge,
wide shape
in a
traveling cloak.
A traveling cloak, not the same kind of
hood, but the hood, the face is
obscured. As you
see off in
off
by where this long bar
is with a number of stools, that there's
a door to a kitchen.
And what I will say is that
the smell here is absolutely heavenly.
After the swamp and the stink and the ash and the bone
and the burning fur and feathers.
The castle.
And the castle, all is the plague.
The smell is delightful.
As you hear what sounds,
as you approach that you see a couple,
a handful of patrons, no more than three,
that are all sitting, minding their own business,
as you look, you hear a bit of movement
in the direction of the kitchen.
Let's just you down.
Yeah.
Smells good here.
Man, it feels good in here, too.
I didn't realize how much I'd miss fire
that didn't need pitch to starve.
I will, um,
if we can find an open seated area near a,
one of the open fires, we would sit.
But I will look around and
to see if there's anybody who resembles the
gardener or
any of the other
hooded robed figures or if
it looks like I might be able to
engage one of the
servants here to
get some food or make an order or something along those lines
like I've been told that my
ornate knife might be able to open
such doors and so I'm I'm
looking for an opportunity to engage with someone.
You look around and you see that there are no,
you see that there is an old graying fox
that's sitting very close to the fire.
Seems to be what looks like a fisherman.
You're not sure if he's retired or not.
Wearing kind of old fisherman's garb.
The one in the corner, the huge shape that has a large empty plate of scraps in front of them.
It's hard to tell what species that is.
As you see that the person on the stage playing the strange, stringed instrument,
appears to be a long neck heron with a long beak that's playing.
It seems to be middle-aged, and you see that.
there is,
uh,
that there doesn't seem to be any waiters or servers yet,
but you can definitely hear that there is the sound of,
the scraping of utensils against metal and ceramic from the back.
And,
uh,
but you don't,
no one has come out to greet you yet.
I think we might just have to wait.
I,
I,
fine by me.
I'm gonna sit by the fire.
This is really nice.
And I'm gonna walk up and like,
I'm gonna, you know, if we're wet and gross,
I'm gonna, like, take off my chain mail,
and I'll put it by the fire, and I'll take off my tabern.
And I'll kind of get down just in my basic traveling clothes
and try to, you know, warm up and dry off.
You see that this grizzle fox,
who's kind of tilting, rocking in his chair,
it's not meant to rock, but he's kind of tilting back
as he just looks at you and he just gives you a and a nod
as you are
and there's a little
bit of lingering suspicion
in his eye as you start to
take off your armor, you doff
your armor and it feels
incredible to get this wet, damp
armor off of you and it
starts to dry by the fire.
I think I would
stay, I wouldn't go over to the fire with Grumley.
I think I'd stay kind of parked at
a table, hoping that
you know, someone will eventually
come by. And I'm just
kind of in deep contemplative thought.
I miss my banjo.
I miss when things made sense.
I feel truly,
truly lost in
this new world that is developing.
And I'm genuinely concerned about the end of the world.
And I'm just kind of lost in contemplative
thought as I'm enjoying the warmth of fire
and thinking about this delicious
smelling food and hopefully getting a good drink.
I'll sit near grumly by the fire and warm up
and let the flames dry out my jacket
as we take our first rest, really, in quite some time.
In a long time.
That's not been underground.
Since we left the castle.
Yeah, and an actual, what feels like probably at this point
still civilization.
I will not sit, but I will get to the fire,
and I will probably pull out a lot.
of the things in my pack, pull out a lot of the fabrics, maybe even like some of the parts of my
dress and outfit, and put them near the fire to sort of start to like try to clean them, dry
clean them, wipe them free from mud and dirt and let the warmth go into them. I'm enjoying the heat
of the fire. I'm waiting for someone to address us, but if we're just here to sit until,
someone, you know, swings by, then I'm going to use this time to, like my friends,
relax beside the fire. And that's enough for a moment.
You do that. And it's not much longer until you hear what,
you hear the scraping of wood against stone as the door to the kitchen opens. And what you
see is a, what looks like a sea lion with great big, bushy whiskers. As he walks forward on a peg leg,
as he is, he looks out and he kind of has a squint to his eyes as he kind of has almost like a milky
quality to his eye. And he looks out as, oh, he is that new vision.
and I hear out here?
Yes, we're...
He, uh, he looks at you and, uh, he's wearing very simple clothing with a very filthy apron
as he kind of hobbles over to you.
Um, and, uh, he says,
Welcome to the belly of the serpent.
I suppose you're here for a bowl of slippery to do.
You got coin?
We would love some food and...
And if you have accommodations, that would be really cool.
But when we're sitting here not with coin, but with this.
And I will pull out the ornate knife,
and I will hold it next to my face as I, as it gleams against the firelight.
He looks at it and he examines that.
How did you come on that there, blade?
I slip it back and down into my backpack, seeing him stare and such focus.
I was given to it by a fine gentleman just on the edge of town.
He told me that I needed to have this, that I was on a path.
All right
All right then
Four slippery stew
My companions and I
We're
We're here to do whatever it needs doing
For what it's worth
We do also have some coin that we'd be happy
To throw in for your troubles
The stew sounds delightful
Also I'm looking for booze
My goal here is to show this town the ugly side
of alcoholism
And make alcohol everyone's problem
So if you've got anything like that I'll take it
No, I got just the thing, lot.
Perfect, keep them coming.
And I'll actually put a small coin purse on the table.
Take that back.
Are you sure?
All you're friends of the gardener do not pay in the belly of the serpent.
All righty.
Wow.
Sounds pretty good to me.
A flagging of meed, please.
No way, we don't got meed.
If you're looking for me, there's the old town drunkle pissing your mouth for a copper.
Oh, God.
Wow!
He's a real freak.
He's the freak. You're the one bringing it out. Good Lord.
Oh, uh.
I'll say strange he accepts calling him.
A flagon of ale.
Oh yeah, I could do that.
All right, I'll take the ale.
I'll take one of those as well. Whatever's safe to drink.
Well, my name is Borum.
If you need anything, you call my name.
I'm Bitsy. It's a pleasure to meet you, Boreham.
Borel with an album.
Borel.
Borel.
She's a chosen one. I don't know if you heard.
And the end times are coming and the world's going to end.
I don't know if you heard about all that.
Chosen one.
She's got to awaken Stone Dragons and bring forth the next two riders.
Yeah, there's something about some riders and a lord and a whole portent of war and all kinds.
kinds of crazy shit.
As long as you don't,
that don't come to my tavern,
I won't worry about it.
As he...
No, I think it's coming to this tavern.
Every other tavern.
I'll have whatever you'd have.
All right, you wait.
Mortimer.
We need four slippery stews.
He calls out to the kitchen
as you hear of scraping.
And it's not much longer
until he comes out with
a tray
of these large bowls
of
stew that
smells very salty
but incredibly delicious
warm and very much smells like
seafood. There's a number
of vegetables in it as
he puts down a bowl
for each of you and he
puts out a loaf of
freshly baked bread and he
puts a large serrated knife
through the top of that.
I just, now that will warm your bone no matter how chill they be.
Well, thank you. We're very, very appreciative.
Yeah, thanks.
There's a reason why this stew is known for in white throughout the Demwood.
And you can have as much as you'd like, and as much drink as you'd care to drink.
You are honored guests here.
Could I get you two rooms as well?
Oh my goodness, that would be wonderful.
Whoa!
You just tell the gardener what are you done for you here, all right?
Of course, yeah.
He's a good friend.
Is he?
All right, all right.
He seems to know.
I don't mean nothing ill towards you or that cult.
I always look the other way I did.
Okay.
I didn't intervene when my regulars were cut down in cold blood.
That's good.
massacre. We'll make
sure that Bitsy says very nice things
about you and all of the good things
you've done for us. Oh yeah, there was.
One little gosshawk
used to come in here.
He was young. He just
started a family back
out of the hollow.
Oh, and the sound that he
made when that blade was plunged
into his back.
He said, please, Bore, help me.
That blade? Oh, no.
Another one of these cultors.
He said, please, please, I've done nothing.
I don't mean you, huh?
Oh, this is...
They added in in the pile like the rest.
Anyways!
Getting on, we'll just take our drinks.
Do you have any black pepper yet?
It's just like a little salt and just a little let some pee.
Like I...
This is quite tasty.
He goes back and he pulls out a...
a whole bunch of peppercorns and he with a mortar and pestle. Oh, nice. He like
smashes it all and he places that's actually the best way. He puts it right in the
center of the table. Thank you. Thanks. He's putting a good word. Oh, we'll do.
All right. All right. Honor guests. Slippery stew known wide and four.
Well, good dreams. I know he knows. Good dream.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Boron.
He's kind of shambles and softs
and loud scraping as the door
closes to the kitchen. Good Lord.
Get a lot of that guy. I can't read the fucking room.
I see, I mean dramatic.
I'm going to grab my drink.
Listen, guys.
I never thought that I'd see the end of the world.
Quite frankly, it's become very apparent that I'm not made for this.
I've become useless.
I'm basically only good for one thing, and that's probably delivering a
If you'd let me, just this one last time.
Well, it's not the last time, but of course we'll let you.
I don't know, Grumling.
It really, really feels like this might be the end forever.
And I just wanted to say, I love you guys.
We've been through a lot, even if we haven't known you very long, John Clark,
but you fit right in, and you did so much for us.
Well, thank you, Booker.
And we've been through a lot in that time, even so.
Peggy's flown off of the moon.
I miss Peggy.
God's knows where Hazel is.
I miss her so much.
I miss Hazel.
But what I'll say is
if this is really the end,
I'm not gonna get burned alive
or eaten by some great stone dragon
or taken by the plague
or finished off by two other unknown riders.
Well, at least not sober.
So cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Whatever happens next, we had a good ride.
Bottom's up.
Oh, no, the fucking you!
You see the old fox,
who's a couple of chairs over,
who raises a small cup,
and he drinks and he's kind of,
like, leaning back and forth.
You're getting good at that.
Excuse me, it's hard to understand you.
Are you trying to talk to us?
We were in, oh, he's asleep.
We were having a moment with Fred.
Okay.
I'll say, kind of a friendly place.
I was just about to say that I love my friends too.
I love you too, Booker.
Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.
I know.
I love you too, Mr. Chanticleer.
Well, I love you guys.
I love you too, Bitsy.
This is all a lot after, like, only knowing you for like a day, but yeah, I love you too.
I know it's hard to believe.
Whatever your name is.
Bitsy, I know it's hard to believe, but you traveled with us for a long time.
You've just, you've lost your memory.
You know what? Maybe it's a whole
playing this whole rebirth thing.
Maybe you've been born anew.
I don't know.
But promise me something.
I haven't lost my memory.
I've been given my memory and you've been given yours.
You know, I'm still not entirely on this,
but just promise me one thing.
If this really is a rebirth, a renewal of the ashes
from burning of the dim wood
and there's something next,
there's something coming next.
I promise you.
You've got my word.
I'll do my best to find you guys.
All right?
Whatever comes next, if it's possible, I'll find you.
Do you think we're going to lose each other?
Oh, for sure.
Almost certainly.
Everything that we hold dear, everything we've ever known and loved,
turned to Ash, gone forever.
We just have to hope that there's nothing but the infinite abyss afterwards.
Wait, so you think all these riders are going to, like,
like in the world?
It's probably going to be very painful.
Oh.
That's what kind of what they keep saying.
Well, I just thought it was like, you know, like cloak dramatics.
Like, you know, in the world as we know it.
You can kill everybody?
I, you know, I hope that's the case.
I just, I don't believe it anymore.
None of you have touched your slippery stews.
Oh, because we're having a toast.
Okay.
Have a taste.
I really don't like Bitsy being anymore.
It's shockingly slippery.
Really over this whole thing about Bitsy being the leader.
I really have just useless.
It's a matter of hours.
I've become useless.
You're still the leader, Booker.
That's not true.
The chosen one and the key to all of this.
I'm just not built for the end of the world and that's okay.
I think I'm in peace with it.
Booker, you have plenty of value, okay?
It's just really, it just seems to be Bitsy's moment right now.
That's fine. I'm all right with it.
You've really shifted down to more of a Hermione role.
No, I think it's even lower than that.
I think we might be talking like, you know, extra extra backup extras.
No, no.
Everybody's fine.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I just, I'm feeling a little lost, you know.
You know, you aren't your banjo.
You aren't night here.
You book her.
Yes.
You're good at talking.
You're good at singing.
You're good at cracking jokes.
Holy shit.
This soup's amazing.
That's what I'm trying to say.
It's unbelievable.
Oh.
I've been so slippery.
And I just start chewing whatever's in it and drinking it.
I fucking, I take it all down.
It is very slippery.
It's slimy yet satisfied.
Oh, yeah.
There's delightful chunks of mysterious meat.
It's very slippery.
It's clam chowder, but it's only clams.
There are leeks, carrots, barley.
There's turnips.
Oh.
Oh, and all sorts of interesting, fishy, briny food.
And you all enjoy a meal and a short rest, and that is where we'll take a break.
Hey!
Screaming away.
God, now I'm hungry.
Are enjoying your, you finish, you eat for an hour as the heron finishes playing there to,
and finishes the set, and then goes over to the bar and he's drinking.
a mug of something.
And you, it feels odd to be on the surface here.
You realize that you've been underground for so long.
You were on the run in the woods and the Osloat attack
and the strange things with Wygore and everything that happened there.
And then as soon as you got out, Bitsy died and then you were running from a forest fire.
And just, this is your first moment.
of actual respite in a very long time.
Are we tired?
We've been up for a while, right?
Yeah, you're tired.
I think you're one of those instances where the exhaustion
just hits us all at once.
Yeah, I would say, maybe.
The adrenaline wears off, you know,
or finally feel safe, probably.
I don't know what to say, guys, I'm just run down.
Good studies.
It's incredible.
It's the greatest thing I've ever had.
In fact, it was so good.
I completely cut off all those wonderful things you were saying about me because the soup is the greatest thing I've ever eaten my entire life
It's definitely up there. It's definitely up there
I can't tell if I'm just so hungry if I agree with Booker, but this is this is damn fine soup
They could use a little cheese
But it was good. It was really good. It's like it's like a nine
9.9 out of 10 like cheese on top or like in it
I think in it
Yeah. Why would you put the cheese in it? Wouldn't it just melt and disappear?
Yeah, I feel like it's just a little funk, you know?
Oh, do you like cheese?
I do.
I'm learning this about it. We could ask for cheese, maybe.
I thought about it, but he seemed so proud of his meal. I didn't want to interfere, you know?
I asked him, serve us what you would have. And that's what we got. And that's beautiful. That's beautiful.
Kind of like, oh, waitress. What? What?
What's good here on a menu?
Can you give me some recommendations?
And then she spends like five minutes going through the menu and all the best things.
And you're like, well, actually, forget all that.
I'll have the grilled cheese.
I feel very much.
I'm going to be grilled cheese.
No, it's always the grilled cheese.
It's always grilled cheese.
Plus, I wouldn't change the thing about this.
You know, like when you're in, you know what they say, when in Drake Smith,
you got to do as the Drake Smithians do.
That'd be like going to the equivalent of Chicago and getting the equivalent of a Chicago dog
and ask it for it with no tomatoes. Nobody does that. That's insane. Nobody would even think to do that.
What's the Chicago?
Don't worry about it. It's not going to matter about 15 minutes anyway. I will not.
You think they have rooms here where we can finally sleep?
Yeah, actually. He said we have two. He's going to give us two rooms.
Oh. We can rest and we don't have to pay for any of it. I was too busy grunting a dead guy right there.
Yeah. Did you learn anything?
I can't really understand it what he says
But we've been grunting back and forth at each other
Well, and your grunting is so
Full of confidence I figured you were getting somewhere
Hey
Just like that
Boy, he really does look old
I think he's saying that we're in for a hard winter
Wow, really? Pretty sure
I'm only going to live the sea winter
Yeah, I think you're right
Um, maybe we should get some sleep.
And if Peggy ever shows back up, maybe we should like, I don't know, leave a sign on the door.
How is she going to know that we're here in case, you know, she gets tired of flying towards the moon?
That's a great question.
One that I don't even know how to begin to answer, rumbling.
Peggy knows where to find us.
She can find us no problem whenever she wants.
She created the whole universe.
Oh.
You know, Bitsy, every time you said that, I was always like, what the heck is she talking about?
You know, like, that's just crazy talk.
You know, clearly it's just delusions of grandeur, but this whole time, all these months, how long have we been hanging out, you guys?
At a long time.
But less than the day.
All these months, we've known each other.
I think maybe a week.
Yeah, I guess.
If Hazel was here, I get real tired of these schmucks.
What would Hazel do if she was here?
Probably all.
of the stew and then some. She'd probably
sneak into the back and
make this guy go out of business.
It'd be a massacre. I mean, it would be
an absolute unrecoverable mess.
You eat every eel. Eat him
out of serpent
and belly. And God forbid they have any honey
back there. Holy smokes, it'll be over.
Do you think he has any pies?
Like sweet pies for dessert? I hope
so. We should have a slice of pie
for hazel. I bet he does have dessert.
I wonder if Hazel will think of us in the end, you know, in the actual end times.
You know, she's a good soul.
I think she probably thinks of us often.
I think of her often.
I wonder if I should think of her more.
I'll think of her quite a bit, but how often should you think of an old friend?
I think it's never enough.
I think at the end, we're all going to realize that no matter how much time you could spend with your loved ones, it's never enough.
Yeah, what do they say?
Should all acquaintance be forgot?
It never brought to mind?
That's kind of depressing.
We should remember the good times.
Remember the time that we came to Drake Smith?
Oh, was that the past life? Hold on. No, that was...
That didn't really happen.
No, that was...
That was a different time.
It was arguably not even reality.
Yeah.
You're out.
talking about end times, it's not the end times. It's the beginning times. It's, it's, it's, it's,
look, I, I haven't had a chance to tell you about the secrets of the universe and what's all going
on. It's a long story. It's a real long story. But you can just tell us? Wait, you know what's
going on this whole time you've just been able to tell us what's going on? You just have all the
information behind all these mysterious
sayings and so on? Wait for the catch.
What are the secrets of the universe?
What's in your hutch?
I can't tell you. You haven't
earned it yet. We gotta earn it.
We only just met.
Yeah, okay. We heard that whole
heart to heart after you were resurrected.
Wait, was it before or after you were resurrected? That was
after, right? And you still don't even know
my name. Well, what the heck did you do
to earn it? How come you know all the secrets
to the universe? That's part of
the story. I can't tell you.
can't even tell us how to earn it?
When you're ready to learn the truth,
I will tell you.
Will you take us to your hutch
when we're ready?
You know about my hutch?
You told us about it like the moment
we met you.
All of those months ago,
you just spilled the beans about lemons,
lemon juice in your hutch.
Wait, what are you got something?
What was with the hutch?
I mean, is the hutch where the answers are?
There's apparently something going on under there,
some sort of secret of something.
It contains the answers to the universe, perhaps, maybe.
We don't really know.
What's a hutch?
Is it like a shed?
It's like a little home with a really deep basement.
Yeah, it's like a basement with like a,
I've always imagined kind of like a wooden trap door
with like a big clanky iron.
Yeah, yeah, exactly like that.
And we're not entirely sure that there's not like
some sort of living captured creature down there,
somebody who's potentially been kidnapped and tortured.
We have no idea.
We've known it.
We've known it.
It's all speculation.
He's been traveling with a psychopath for the last few months.
You kidnapped people?
No.
You guys seem awfully constant.
Maybe I did tell you.
Well, we know that there's a hutch.
I don't know if we ever actually got like hard and fast information.
Some of it was sprinkled through with like non-canon one shots and dual-tide specials.
Pretty speculative.
You know, there was like a Halloween thing that we forgot that we did.
Maybe stuff was mentioned there, so it's really unclear, at least in my own memory, what's truth and what's just vamping at the table.
One time I had an absolutely insane...
I have a shockingly good grasp of the difference.
One time I had an absolutely insane dream that of nowhere I appeared in front of Vitsy with a giant gun.
It was crazy.
Whoa.
And there were these massive hairy creatures and some sort of evil creature.
And I just pulled the trigger on the gun that I was holding and I blew them all away.
And you shot Bitsy?
No, no, no, I didn't shoot busy. I saved the day. I killed the horrible monsters.
What actually happened, I'm sure of it.
No, it was just a dream.
The dreams are real.
I'm not so sure about that. That's the whole point.
Look, we've only ever seen one gun ever, and it was a shotgun.
There was no no mention of any of that before or after, and this gun was magic.
All right, you're going to tell me that magic guns just exist are real?
Peggy makes all things possible. She's the inventor of magic. Of course it's real.
Peggy wasn't there.
I don't know
She was in that gun
She was in that magic
That would be pretty crazy
I think that they refer to her
As the frog mother
Are you saying Peggy controls his dreams
Or advanced magic guns
I think
What she's always said
Is that Peggy is the inventor
of magic
And that's why she's a wizard
But this whole time
I hate to admit it
I've had a sneaking suspicion that
heck, he's not a wizard at all.
Like every time she casts fireball,
she just, you know, throws a jar of grease
and moonshine with the fucking rag that's lit on fire.
I'm sorry, I curse.
I'm sorry, little God.
Heckin, heckin jar of moonshine.
And it just burns everything.
You know, years of saying out loud,
but we've all known for a very, very long time.
Her alarm spells was a giant box of cicada.
Yeah.
Do you see, remember all that time ago
when she, like, boiled the flesh off that guy
with a poison spray weapon?
It was just an old tiny pesticide thing.
And then that guy's flesh melted off his bone.
Yeah, just full of salicylic acid.
Exactly right.
I thought the whole wizard thing was just lunacy,
but then she kind of ascended into the moon
with the string quartet.
You're right that she's not a wizard.
That's too small for what she is.
Oh.
She made magic.
She made everything.
She made all of this.
All on a simple Thursday.
She invented magic on a Thursday and the universe.
Wow.
Well, maybe it's all true.
And she just waited until now to ascend, to a true
station and all of this?
If everything does, then, maybe we'll figure it out.
Maybe we'll be, maybe the truth will be revealed.
Maybe when you show us your hutch,
when we're ready, that'll be part of it.
Maybe. Well, so I'm
unclear as to what you're rolling all
this is, Bitsy. I mean, how come you got
to awaken stone dragons
and alert the two other riders
and what significance do you have?
Did you also create magic?
Were you there on Thursday?
I was
born like you on that
Thursday and the secrets of the universe have been revealed to me I do what I can in
small ways but we've had such such little time here in this world and we're
already talking about the end I can't believe that that's not possible we have
I don't know what my role is or what people are expecting of me or what I'm
supposed to do with this ornate beautiful obsidian night
or this tiny little ring or this rusty knife or this bear skull that's burning or this notepad or this water skin.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with any of it.
Or that bee pen that you've always had.
No, I gave that away.
What?
I gave that away to Mr. Dinner.
You gave away.
Bitsy's iconic bee pen.
Wasn't that like your most prized possession?
You never shop about it.
It's vintage Bitsy.
You're talking about it.
Vintage.
No, it's like every, like, once every hour, you're like, oh, guys, check on my B-Pen.
And then you go, and then you write something and then you put it away in like the next hour, you're like, oh, who needs a pencil?
You're talking about stuff that didn't happen.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You just gave it away just like, well...
How could you part with a B-Pencil?
Maybe it's to teach us a lesson.
Maybe Bitsy really is the Messiah.
And what she's trying to show us is that,
attachment to physical things is meaningless.
Oh, God.
At the end of the world.
Well, but she didn't give it away.
She traded it for that cool-ass dagger.
Oh, is it like a like a bordering sort of deal?
Yeah, maybe it's like a whole rapper, rapper, rapper, rapper, rap, rap,
reciprocity.
Thank you.
That's the one I'm trying to say.
I'm a little drunk.
I was just trying to be nice because he gave me this nice dagger.
I wanted to give him something special too, so I offered,
him the ring and I offered him my
bee pen. I found it my pack
and they both seemed pretty cool.
Maybe it'll be
vintage the gardener now
and he'll bring out his bee pen
and talk about it all the time.
I bet he's talking
about it right now.
Hey.
I hear the voice from the corner
the huge shape
has spoken to you.
Shrouted.
There's almost like the
the corner of the tavern
that's farthest away from the hear
the voice say, do you guys
say Chicago Dog?
Yeah, I did.
I said the equivalent of Chicago Dog, yes.
You hear the
chair creak, and it's almost
like cracking as it stands up.
It steps forward as you see a
hedgehog.
A very plump hedgehog
as he kind of stumbles forward.
No, no.
I'm Big Ned.
Oh.
I'm Bitsy, how are you?
Wait, like the Big Ned or just your name is Big Ned?
Yeah, hi, Bitschie.
I'm Big Ned.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I'm looking for Chicago dogs.
Well, we don't, uh, we don't have any here.
Uh, it was just an example. I was telling a story.
I don't have one.
Is this the same Big Ned?
Oh, hey, you guys.
Oh yeah, you don't remember us now?
Hey, it's me. I'm Big Ned.
No, we got that.
We got that. I used to be a goon.
Yeah. Now what are you do?
How did you escape the hangman's news?
Wait, this is the guy from the prison?
Been the guy from the prison?
Yeah, he's the guy from the prison.
How'd they let you go?
Guys, you're never going to fucking believe it.
What? Why?
I, there were, oh, there were fish guys everywhere.
Oh, there was chaos.
I'm looking for my brother, Sonny.
Have you seen a guy named Sonny?
No, we still haven't seen sunny.
We never crossed paths.
Is he big sunny or just regular sunny?
Oh, he's just sunny.
He's my little bro.
He also used to be a goon.
Oh, it was chaos.
Wait, like in Muskbed Creek?
Oh, yeah, it was terrible.
I caught the last ferry out of town
from the river Folk Company.
I couldn't catch a ship out of the Timwood.
Well, wait, so a bunch of fish guys
in Mukbed Creek, what were they doing?
Oh, eating everybody.
It's like we was all clam dogs.
Eating everybody.
Yeah, first they
ate her and everybody,
and then I thought they were going to eat meat.
I was like, oh, my God.
Wait, they ate everybody?
Wait, did they eat Nestor too?
No, I think they hang this.
Wait, wait, wait, just to be clear.
That's getting me out.
Just to be clear.
Big Ned, you're not mad at us for any reason?
Like, we're cool?
I try to think about what I remember.
I mean, it sounds like, it sounds like this fishman attack
probably happened before judgment was passed.
Before your list of crimes could be read to you.
Yeah. Yeah, it was...
We just spent a knot in jail together.
You don't remember us, Mr. Ned?
Thank you.
You were talking about, you know, Chicago dogs or whatever.
And your brother, Sonny?
Oh, yeah, that was the night before I got accused of hoar heinous attempted murder.
And a bunch of perverted stuff that I didn't remember doing.
Well, you know, it's good that you got away then.
That would have been a terrible, terrible false pride.
They said that even though it was like a pug and a raccoon and a frog and a frog and a mouse.
No.
They said that I did it.
Oh, I don't think that's...
Have you seen those guys around?
No.
I don't see a frog.
No, there's no frog here.
No, there's no frog here.
There's no frog here.
And we have a rooster.
Well, exactly right.
I mean, this is a completely different party of people.
They were going to execute the Don's little, his kid brother.
And then right before he was publicly executed,
I don't know what to say this.
Magistrate of Hootie got eaten by fish guys.
Wow!
I don't know if I see this.
Wait.
I don't know I to see this guys.
Oh, yeah.
So just like, did they come from the lake?
Oh, and from the river, it was bad.
I wonder who could I cause that?
Yeah, it was bad.
What did they do after?
Consumer everyone was not clever.
They're eating everybody.
They're all the prison guards.
I just, I saw this fish guy and I just like,
I've got to fight son.
He kept talking about that he had to find a basement or something.
I wonder.
A basement.
What happened?
Did they eventually go back in the rivers?
Wait, who are you?
Me?
Just a guy.
Hey guy, I'm big dad.
I'm just some guy.
It doesn't matter.
His name is Booker.
He's a very...
Hey, Booker, I'm Big Dad.
And an accomplished musician.
Big Ned, it's good to see you again.
And leader of pugs and mice and chipmunks and frogs and roosters.
And raccoons.
Hey.
Who are you?
My name's Grumley.
We spent the night in jail together.
Hey Grumley, I'm big dad.
I big man.
I big dad.
I used to be a goo.
Now I'm looking for my long-lunless brother.
Oh, all right.
Or not.
You just don't know yourself.
Why don't you sit down and enjoy some slippery stew?
You want some slippery stew?
You want some clav-dog in that slippery stew?
Well, we got this.
No, hold on.
We got some bread and you can you can pretend by by, by cutting a little slice in that bread.
and then putting some stew inside and it'll be...
I don't got nobody.
Well, you're with us.
You don't need money. You don't need money.
You just need company.
You can share some of our meal.
You'd really do that for me.
Big Dad.
He's not with us.
I mean...
You let me travel with you guys.
I just said we're going to share our meal with him.
He said we're not staying the room.
I think you sent him the wrong message, Booker.
I think you're going to let me stay...
No, no.
Mr. Henn, it's such a pleasure.
You can have one of these stew dogs,
and you can stay in our room forever.
No, I'm going to be extremely clear with you.
You are not staying in either room with us.
Guys, I don't feel of my brother, Sonny, ate it.
Probably not.
I don't think he survived.
To be honest, so have some of your food with us,
and then be on your way.
What is he going to do without me giving him tendies?
Oh, I think, I think, I think Sonny's dead.
I'm just remembering now,
I think I really hate Big Net, remember?
Yeah.
Didn't I say I fucking hate that?
Yeah, yeah.
No, for sure.
Yeah.
You hit it sunny.
Oh, I hate sunny.
Yeah.
Now then you're luck.
It looks like sunny might have gotten eaten.
I can't remember exactly.
Listen, I'm gonna like cut some bread.
I'm gonna like make a makeshift like peanut pocket out of this bread.
I'm gonna like slop some like stew in the out.
I'm gonna be like, all right, here you go.
Take this.
Take this.
Try this.
And then be on your way.
No, no.
He's dragging the chair.
No, that's not necessary.
That's not necessary.
No, he's coming up.
He's going to sit down.
I've been so lonely.
I've been so lonely.
Oh, thank you, Grant Booker.
What's your name?
Well, well...
I'm big name.
My name's Jean-Claude.
Sean Declare a big name.
He's on cloud.
Well, hello, hello.
I think if you pull up a chair to hear,
you spend any more time with us,
if young Sonny is out there alive somewhere,
not consumed by horrible fish monsters,
well, you're doing them a disservice.
and slowing down your search for them.
That's exactly right.
Well said.
So, well, thank you, Booker.
I was going to leave it to you, but you were doing the hell old clam dog thing.
Well, quite frankly, I'm just a little out of it, I'm not.
Well, and you're extremely drunk right now.
Extremely drunk.
Extremely drunk.
Well, exactly right.
That's why you extend the end of the first time.
We're all very tired, Booker.
It's going to be okay.
This is so good.
Good.
Good.
Good.
I'm glad.
Isn't it delicious?
Oh, Big Net has been so.
Well, you just said that.
Hey, you know, maybe if you're that lonely,
you can start hiking back towards
muck bed and you go visit the foxhole.
Oh, no, I think I saw Roxy's entrail
get eaten by a fishman.
Roxy!
Oh, yeah.
She got eaten.
I think they're all gone.
I think a lot of people got eaten.
I think probably everyone that you ever knew and grew up with
might be eaten by fish.
Oh, son of me, this really is the end time.
Except for your dad, who's enjoying his experience as a God King.
I don't understand how he just keeps surviving.
It's like he's got some demonic entity looking out for him.
It does seem to be extremely lucky.
You know, now the whole God King thing.
Well, I mean, as lucky as you can be being Beauregard, dear Raccoon, let's be honest.
I guess.
Guys, I was just gonna cut that old guy's throat once he was asleep and take his stew there.
Thanks for giving me this.
Don't do that. Don't kill anybody. It's not necessary.
We don't have to kill anyone.
I was just going to cut that old guy's throat,
take his stuff after he went to bed.
John Claude, does that count as probable cause?
Well, exactly. I mean, he's admitted to premeditated murder.
So, well, yeah, I mean, probable cause would apply to such,
but sure.
Why don't you join us in our room being there?
What?
Tell me, what are you thinking?
Oh, I thought I was joining you guys in your room.
Anyway, because I'm being dead.
Don't do that.
What are you doing, Ronley?
I agree.
Thank you.
Why don't, no, make him stay with Bitsy and John Clark.
Make him stay with Bitsy and John Clark.
He wanted to kill the kindly sea lion innkeeper.
Okay.
I think.
So why would you invite him to come sleep with us
as we fall asleep?
Well, he's escaped the hangman's noose.
But perhaps he hasn't escaped the
Hedgman's axe, so to speak.
Guys, I messed up from all
this guy's burger, I saw
Pendled his face got eaten off.
And he was walking around after his face got eaten off.
Oh my God.
I really, really hate this guy.
All right.
I'm getting a bad aura.
I think he means his home.
Okay, then you should have invited him back to our.
Oh, but I think it's also him.
I think we have to strike.
Oh, no.
You shared your bread.
salt I can't violate gas right
I would never do such a thing
except for the old innkeeper
to take a deep breath
and then we can talk about this in a bit
I don't know I feel like
my mind is fraying
yeah join the fucking club
runly various guards at play
and now fishmen rise from the lake
and eat entire clearings
with the people I'm as entirely
shocked as you are I never saw that coming
I think it's every
Pogging Hedgehog for himself.
I'll say if you think the Hentons are really right around the corner,
what's the harm in letting him behead this guy?
I'm in this sick free.
He's just speeding up the clock for one big Hedgehog.
We'll talk about this later.
Maybe in the morning, maybe, oh no, why don't we get some sleep now and at night time?
That's what I'm saying, Grumley.
All right, okay.
Let's finish up our meal here.
I saw a lot of...
old ale. Make sure that Big Ned
gets a head star on his
sleep.
Well, okay.
Okay. Okay.
Yeah, okay, that sounds pretty nice.
You know what, in fact, why don't we
tell you where our room is?
You can finish up your meal and go make yourself at home.
No, are we going to go there to sleep first?
No, no. We're going to let our good friend, our guest,
settle in for the night.
Oh.
And sleep soundly.
while we finish up on meal
Make a deception check
I know it's just past dawn
Could you go for a sleep
Yeah it's like 8 in the morning
Well but maybe he's been up all night too
We've all been traveling so long
I've been all that I try to look for a ship out of this
Clearing
I thought that maybe
Maybe
Little Sonny
Would go to that place
That our dear old Bob told us about
We said we'd meet there if we ever got lost
but I don't know if it's the basement or not.
I rolled 24.
Okay, that sounds pretty good.
Black, you agree.
This is back up.
Thanks for giving me.
He reaches over and he takes your beer.
There's now a film over the top of it.
He reaches out.
Big Dan, please.
What's this whole thing?
This is the second time you've mentioned the basement, in fact.
You and Sonny, you got to meet up at.
What's that all about? What basement?
I just, that's what Sonny kept talking about. He's got all sorts of fantasy.
He doesn't know his reality from his fantasy.
And so I don't know.
I thought that he was, I couldn't find him.
I thought that he'd be looking for it, but he wasn't here.
I hope he, I hope that little Sonny didn't get eaten by a big old fishman.
Where's this basement?
Yeah, is this an attack on Titan thing?
Are we gonna have to care about this?
Sounds too real.
It's yeah.
Probably yes.
Anyway, good die.
You're like you double-dipping on the basement thing here.
I don't know which way this is going to go.
Anyway, Ned, go have a good rest.
Don't mind us.
We'll be in, we'll be real quiet coming in.
You see that he gets up and
there is, and he kind of puts his hood down.
And you see that there's like dried blood
all like around where his head and like down.
on his cloak, he barely survived this attack.
And you can see that there's like a tear.
God, after becoming a good,
no one was ever nice to Big Ned no more.
You guys are so kind.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
I trust you guys, I love you guys.
Siles Lee Siles.
We can do.
I'm Big Nett.
It's been a pleasure to meet you, Big Nett.
I'm busy.
Don't lock the door.
And the stairs creak loudly
as he walks up off to the room.
All right.
Let me do it.
Oh yeah, I'm going to let you do it.
Let me do it.
Yeah, we're going to slip this throw.
I've never been more sure of anything I might not.
Also, I think that's probably a good time for me to maybe come clean about what happened in Mugfed.
I cursed every person who's ever quite crossed me, including your brother, Nestor, you know, a whole list of Hollywood perverts, lots and lots and lots of people.
And I threw my cursed banjo into the river.
and I saw a fishman.
So I'm not going to fully discount that this is entirely my fault.
I'm just going to say it.
Might as well come clear.
But you arose an army of fishermen from the river of Mudbed Creek to seek vengeance on those who just,
who just cast minor aggressions against you?
Well, I included your brother.
I mean, aren't you happy about that?
Well, yes, I'm quite ecstatic about that.
I didn't know I was going to raise an army.
I just, you know, I was frustrated.
My banjo was ruined.
I was haunted by his ghost.
I think I told you in the castle.
Maybe the fishman got him.
I think the fishman got it.
I mean, that's probably, I probably could have told him.
Now, I'm trying to recollect, of course, whether or not he had massive fisherman bites out of his body while he was in ghost form.
Maybe he was intact.
I was in a really dark place when I threw the banjo into the river.
And that was a real turning point for me as a person and kind of where we've gotten to now.
Who can say?
I didn't know what was going to happen.
I didn't really think the night here was real or that there were fish people.
How could I have known?
I, but I may have listed a whole list of enemies and people for,
not here and his people to feed them.
That explains a lot.
It does kind of fill in some of the missing pieces.
Do you think perhaps all of this is our own making?
You know, with every passing minute, I'm starting to be a little bit more sure of that, yeah.
You know, Booker, you know, I'm not from the dimwood, right?
Have I ever told you that?
Oh, yes, no, I'm very well aware.
Yeah.
I think maybe we all deserve this.
Yeah.
I grew up in a castle of the great kingdom across the sea.
You know, I was a servant, more or less, you know, God, dog, so to speak, but I don't know if I was very good.
But, you know, I was used to say, we were told that beyond those walls, there's a sea.
and on the other side of the sea was freedom.
That's what I always believed.
But I was wrong.
On the other side of the sea was enemies.
Oh, okay.
The booker.
Yes, yes, probably.
If we kill all our enemies over here now that I've crossed the sea.
Okay.
Will we finally be free?
You know, there's no more we'd find out.
We start with Big Ten.
I think we need to kill all of our enemies.
You know, I'm starting to see that too.
And I won't stop until every last one is dead.
Great. You know, now's a good time with the end of the world.
I mean, what does it matter?
Then we'll start with big neck.
It took him like 20 minutes and we'll go up there and...
It's all of you, buddy.
Can we do that?
I want it to be me.
All right, all right. I hear my full support.
I want him to know it was a little support.
I want him to know it was...
me.
Oh, you want to wake them up first.
You want to wake them up for us.
Just before.
The end of the world is really changing.
I mean, I'll know you about a week and I felt like I had a
good handle on your personalities.
They've gone about straight out the window now.
Well, you know, if everything's really truly ending, what does
anything matter? What is morality at this point?
I guess. All of this has
an air of destiny, don't you think?
That's what the Mr. Gardner
seems to think. Don't you think we were faded
to be here, right here, right now?
Like, you were prophesied to decapitate Big Ned, much like Bernie was prophesized to have oil thrown upon him and a lot into flame?
Oh, I don't think that I'm any kind of savior. I don't think I'm a chosen one, but...
Maybe I was put here to kill enemies. For the sake of this mouse, savior.
For the sake of the chosen one, for the sake of the frog mother.
I'm not going to disagree with anything you're saying at this point. I'm all in. Why don't we have to lose?
Nothing.
I guess we could try it.
I mean, if you're going to start with killing enemies,
that weirdo seems like a great place to start.
Plus, it was one of those fever dreams that I killed somebody.
It's been a long time as I had the taste of murder.
Well, from a certain point of view, you've murdered an entire clearing,
including most of all you ever known.
Well, I mean, that was more of an accident.
It didn't really get a taste of it.
You know, you weren't quite there.
It was kind of a targeted thing that got out of control.
You know, I mean, who could have known that there was an army of
Fishmen in the river. No one. No one could have known. Perhaps we are simply agents of these riders.
But perhaps an agent of a rider yet to come. Oh, I get done your stew because I think it's
Big Ned killing time. I look at the bowl. It's empty. And for a split second, I wish it wasn't
empty. I'll lean back. Yeah, I'm done. All right. Got a dagger? And I'll look.
You've your sword at your side.
Let's go get it down.
And I'm gonna, you guys coming?
I need to make it clear that Bitsy went upstairs long, like minutes ago.
Yeah.
While they were having this whole, well before they had this whole conversation to go into her own room.
Whether or not Big Net was there is up to the DM's description.
Roll a D2.
Oh no.
Two.
You've walked in and Big Ned was sleeping
and snoring loudly
taking up most of the bed
and you were able to find a spot
there's two beds in this room
do you get in the same bed with Big Net or do you take the other bed?
The warmer spot would be to curl up next to Big Net for sure
so I
seeing this giant hedgehog and feeling sympathy
for his confusing story.
I would
feeling tired,
filled with whatever
booze was being served downstairs,
full of slippery stew,
Bitsy will curl up
and nestle in
to Big Ned
and very quickly
start to drift off.
It's a little scratchy with the spines,
but you get used to it.
Yeah, you learn how to net.
navigate that sort of thing.
Yeah.
And you, uh...
Do you do?
And uh, with Big Ned being there, I, uh, you know, uh, I will, you know, I'll set my things aside and I'll, I'll just...
Hi, Big Ned.
I'm Bitsy.
Good night, Big Ned.
How are you?
I'm gonna sleep right now.
I'm Bitsy, there are you?
How are you?
Are you good?
I'm bad, because I'm Big Nade.
Because I'm Big.
Yeah. Were you always Big Ned? Or did it take a certain time that was like a threshold before you? Were you just Ned before? It was always Big Ned. I didn't know how good.
All right. Well, sleep type, Big Ned. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Go to sleep. I'm Bitsy. Go to sleep. Bitsy. It'll be fine in the murder. We'll have some clan dogs from Chicago.
That sounds nice. It's been a pleasure.
And then we'll find it sunny.
Yeah, we'll find your brother.
That sounds nice.
Yeah.
Everybody's worried about end times, and I don't...
I don't think it's going to be end times.
You just aren't end times?
Don't you have, like, they were saying that you had some sort of cool relics and stuff on your person?
Where do you put those?
I don't have any cool relics.
Oh, okay, that's pretty much.
I gave away a pencil with a bee on the end of it.
Yeah, you've been talking about something, but you're probably to arrive.
I think it's time for bed.
It's a really cool pencil.
I think it's time for bed.
All right.
Good night, good night, good night, Big Ned.
Get night.
Good night.
I'm Betsy.
I'm Betsy.
Good night.
Well, I'm Big Ned.
Good night.
They go to sleep.
John Claude.
You, the fox has stumbled off drunk.
Big Ned is gone.
You realize that you're alone in this space.
space as both of you
have gone.
We're going after the room.
Yeah, we're going to bring him over to this guy.
Which?
Fuck this guy up.
Which
Which room are you going to?
I mean, I think we would check the first room.
We don't know where he went.
Yeah, we don't know.
So we're very, very quiet
and basically check the first room
that we come to to see if
he's in there.
You stand up.
And, uh,
Booker, you cast your eyes over the hearth and continue your way.
But Grumly, as you stand up, you feel a new resolve within you.
And as your eyes cast over the flame, I need you to make a charisma saving, or no, wisdom saving throw a disadvantage.
Interesting.
11.
11.
Let me change the music here.
Hmm.
Your eyes are cast over the flame.
And you see a shape from within.
And it's elongated.
It's the shadows dance within.
You see a silhouette armored.
Not unlike you.
A tall, proud, a great pair of antlers.
And a crown.
atop its head, blazing eyes within the silhouette.
And you-
Bear School Vision.
I'm getting in my own, bear school vision.
Okay.
You call out, you've kneeled your whole life.
Oh, I like pretty around.
Do you mean me or them?
You kneel to the Marquis.
You kneel to the Marquis.
You've kneeled to your friends.
You've bowed, tail between your legs to everyone you've ever met.
What good has it brought you?
If we feel like I can respond in this morning, you can certainly try.
Um, well, I left her home.
I don't, maybe that wasn't a good idea.
Um, I guess I got, you know, kicked out or banished and stripped of all of my duties.
Um, but I, it, it, uh, I met my, my best friend, all of my best friends.
So that's something, right?
I see, the killer in you.
You do?
The heart that blazes.
You were built for war
You will build to kneel
You're built to kill
You just haven't found the right thing to kneel for
Oh
Who, who
Or what
Should I kneel two or four
A king
Not a cat
The true ruler of these woods
Is that you, sir?
Are you the king?
Will you be my sword?
I need a soldier, a true knight.
A true...
A true weapon of war.
A true knight?
Are you...
Are you saying you're gonna knight me?
If I kneel?
Neal, sir grumly.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
What are you hearing this?
When I turn around, is it like...
Is anyone there?
Like, it's fire all around you.
So Grumlin, just like all the books are read.
Of course, your grace, I kneel.
And I will bow my head and I will very deeply kneel
on my, I'll get down on my right knee.
And then hang my head.
Grumly, do you have a heart within you
that blazes for war and conquest?
I believe so.
Do you vow to, do you vow to serve the true king as he rides to war?
I swear the one true king.
Will you be the flaming sword that brings the light of the blazing heart?
I'm serious.
Suddenly you feel a pressure on your shoulder
is there's nothing but flame.
And then you feel it leave your right shoulder
and then it goes to your left.
And then it leaves, rise so grimly.
There's one more thing for you to do.
Your friend is in grave danger.
She's about to be slainly.
slain. I still need her. You may want to hurry. As the flame dissipates and suddenly just a hearth.
As you look around, Sean Claude's sitting there. Booker, you probably, I don't know, you've maybe, I would not have left me out.
You probably, you probably would have walked to the stairs and you're like, hey, what's up, man? Yeah.
Yeah. Hey, y'all, right?
Do you go, she did I say, she would? Brumlin, what's got you all worked up?
about to head upstairs.
My, my purpose, finally, finally, finally, God.
I don't know a god, a king.
What he's talking about?
What are you saying?
What are you yammer and on, grumly?
I'm so grumly of the blazing heart.
What?
What the hell does that mean?
Bitsch he's in danger.
What? I have to go!
And I'm gonna leap up.
I won't even put my armor on.
I will pull my sword out of its sheath,
and I'm gonna run upstairs.
Oh, gods, he's lost his mind.
What, is this a thing that happens?
I will take off after him.
but you are clearly in the lead. You are way ahead of me, but I'm gonna race off after you.
Oh, man.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, I was supposed to be like this.
You leap out as the, as you hear a commotion.
Uh, is, what's going on out there?
As you hear from the kitchen, as you leap up, you rush to, uh, you see two doors that are your, each of your,
rooms. Which one do you go to, left to right?
Make him feel like a good advantage.
I'll sniff him out. I'm sitting for Bitsy
mostly, but any kind of
foreign, anything,
I want to be aware of. Please.
Please, please, please.
I mean, I can give you inspiration. I can do something.
But actually,
you're taking a short rest. No, short rest doesn't give me...
I do inspiration for sure. That refreshes on a short left.
I think he could have given you inspiration
because he said Bitsy's in trouble.
I roll fucking six.
12 plus 6 is 18.
It resets on a warm rest, but I sell plenty of inspiration.
Sweet. You're good. What do you get?
18. You know, you can smell Bitsy. It's faint.
It's, but through the door, through with your nose, you feel a sense of resolve.
And it's on the left side of the door.
Bixie! And I'm going to just bash the door in. I'm not even trying to open it.
I'm going to try to...
Make an athletic check.
13.
13. You need a 12.
Okay. It's not a door.
It is very good that you decide to try to open it.
As you smash through, you see a huge shape over Bitsy.
Blue fur quills out.
A surprisingly soft and nimble hands wielding the dagger that Bitsy had.
A satchel of valuables.
at his side, Big Ned, has his blade pressed to Bitsy's neck,
as he's very softly grabbing her ears, preparing to cut her throat.
Do I feel like...
Wait, hold on. We're playing Dungeons and Dragons.
We are.
Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. If you're going to do what I think you're going to do,
I think it's a great fucking play.
I burst in and I see this.
and I'm holding my sword
and I'll growl
Hout!
Yes! Cast command
on him
and I try to get him to stop
to give me an opening.
Okay.
He needs to make a sorry, oh God,
wisdom saving throw.
What's the D.C. is
2014.
Hold on, is it wisdom.
Are I crazy?
Should say, like, wait at the beginning.
Wisdom, yep, yep, yep, wisdom.
You see as he's turned slightly,
and after hearing you would shout,
when you shout Bitsy,
that it starts, he starts to move his arm.
And you very clearly,
with how, you're shocked at how sharp this blade
as blood is starting to draw.
And he stops as you call out,
and your voice booms out,
with a bark, and you almost hear a crackling, roaring fire, and almost like a trumpet of war
as you hear yourself call out to the point where both of you almost hear this, as he says,
stop, as there's a moment where you feel Big Ned has frozen, but you feel almost like your
friends have frozen behind you. And you hear
a voice in your head.
You don't need me to tell you where the heart is.
I approach, and as I'm approaching, I feel this slowing down, and I'll say,
in the name of the king, the blazing heart, and the lord of war,
I sentence you to die.
And I plunge my sword into it.
Make an attack roll advantage of an unseen attacker.
Holy!
17 plus eight.
Billions is...
I think 25.
25.
Um, roll damage and add divine smite.
Ooh, I do that too, obviously.
Uh...
Double divine smite.
It's a...
The sword burst the flame.
Okay.
Hold up.
Hold on.
Oh, my God.
Look at the stats.
Never actually added weapon any of the real damage for me?
For Divine smite, should be cheated.
That's what you're looking for.
No, I'm, I'm, because I'm using both of my hands.
Oh, it's D12, I believe.
So it's 1D12.
1D10.
3.1.10 plus 2d8, plus whatever your strength is.
Nice.
Ooh.
3, 4.
16 points of damage.
Add 46 fire damage.
43536.
Bitsy, you awake in a start to blood.
completely covering your face
as a sword is directly
in your vision, as grumly,
you know where the heart,
a critter's heart is.
From the front, from the back,
this is what you were trained to do
because you as a knight
know that a group of, or train as a soldier
that when the foe breaks,
you ride them down and cut them down.
A soldier is a dead man
once he breaks.
And you know where to stab.
You plunge your sword into the back of Big Ned.
And as it pierces in, you know that you strike through.
It pierces directly through his heart.
And as you channel everything into this,
something happens that you don't expect.
It ignites into flame.
As Big Ned begins to scream,
in pain as he's completely engulfed in flame for the brief moment before the heart shot
kills him as your
as your sword ignites into flame as does your foe and in the conflagration
that occurs from it you see the shape of a deer
with a crown, the shape of war.
And that is where we'll end.
Oh!
