Legends of Avantris - Vagabond's Heart: A Dimwood Tale | Ep. 8 | Dramatic Fanatics

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

The vagabonds head to Drakesmouth, where they believe the final relic lies. But they need to find it before the Eyrie does!   Gain access to an exclusive campaign, Shroud Over Saltmarsh, over on Patreon: https://legendsofavantris.com/patreon The Crooked Moon, a folk horror supplement for 5e, is available for preorder! Get the Crooked Moon at: https://thecrookedmoon.com/ Watch more D&D adventures in the world of Avantris live on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/legendsofavantris Check out our merch store: https://shop.legendsofavantris.com  Join our community on Discord: https://legendsofavantris.com/discord Watch our many campaigns on YouTube: https://legendsofavantris.com/youtube  All other links: https://linktr.ee/legendsofavantris   Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/JJBzOA_fkvE?si=0Jt54oYMyuDfLBNY

This is Mikey Gilder, and you're listening to Vagabond's Heart, a dimwood tale. Here's what happened last time. Welcome to the voracious doom, friend. Gloom. You see as an alligator in a top hat, leans forward and extends his hand and says, Name is Louis Ruger. I'm very concerned. We can at least look around.

Maybe that's a good idea. You're just to see a bit of mural emerge. There's more. You're doing it. An armored stack, barred antlers and twisted oaken crown, holding a flaming sword within a medallion, holding a banner. And beneath the banner, you see that it casts a shadow along the ground. And it's the shadow of the banner, and then it stretches out in multiple directions. Shadow that shapes and moves in humanoid, critteroid-looking shapes.

a wooden hut and we're firelight firelight flickering from in tiny windows who the fuck is coming into my house in the middle of the night? I'm sorry get in here

you'll catch a death in the night yet we get the love potion then we can charm it easily well I suppose I am a bit piquish I've been working all day and I have a big morning And I immediately step in front of Hazel, take off my other strap and my everything just falls down. I'm just getting proud of him.

Wait a, you keep your battle standards at? I've got a fetish for battle standards and legs that won't quit. All of these shadows have been radiated out of it, cast by the gloves or in the glow, a similar style to the horn and to the amulah, and you immediately dart in and you grab it. And for a split second, you see a flash. And you see very quickly a feathered winged shape flying away. As the ship arrives, the game plane lowers down and you see a cat emerge onto the deck. You now are all in your hotel room called something. It was like the car, the briny carpenter.

The briny carpenter. You're in your room to the brine carpenter. I had to create a bunch of different things, and you went with that one. That just happens. And we'll just say you're either in the sitting room. in the restaurant area, enjoying a nice breakfast. Maybe with some delicious berries provided by either sherry's or Harry's berries. You don't know.

They all taste the same. They don't. And they don't at all. Market difference in quality. And you all sit as you basically are watching the, a number of patrons in this breakfast hall are poking their heads out of the windows as the Marquis eight soldiers are marching in. The riverfolk mercenaries have laid down their arms. and they are not resisting at all

as the Marquis Ate take over, but they don't seem to be particularly bothered by this. Once again, it kind of seems like meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Some people are a little bit, are whispering back and forth, looking a little bit shifty. But you're all sitting and joining your breakfast.

What do you do? The sun is shining, and the air is so crisp, and the food is never tasted so sweet. Ha, ha, I'm not going to die. I'm not going to die. Why would you die? Why are you so happy?

Because of that shifty alligator man. I can't believe he almost tricked me. I can't believe it. That's my job. I can't believe it. It wasn't any kind of badger. I'll think it was old strews. It doesn't matter.

We have the banner, and that's all that matters. I'm alive. Oh, exactly right. That's true. Um, I've been a little worried, though, because of the big old spooky bar now. we saw on the trees last night. Oh, yeah.

Did you forget? Well, we've seen him long eight times now. I know, but he just kind of was like there, and I wasn't expecting him to be there. And he flew to the south and west. I was really just so invested in not looking at as one googly eye that I didn't see where he flew. Oh, my God, we're going to die.

Well, can you stop saying we're going to die? We're not going to die. We've been vagabonds for like a year now. We haven't died yet. Did you see? that horrible creature. I mean, he's gonna kill us. He's a cold-blooded murder. He's a professional. Oh, no. Oh, my acorns. Do you want something more to eat? Yeah. I've lost my appetite, and I just kind of slide it towards, uh, hazel and gromily to, like, fight over it.

Uh, uh. Oh. Oh. I just like one bite off that's in back. Um, oh, so, what are we having to do? We have to meet this Vars Roy and get all the credit for what we did. And then we should get going. Find the last one.

If they, if he's flying back toward, they know we're coming now. We should try to hurry if we can. It certainly seems as though we've lost the element of surprise. Wait, who knows we're coming? I assume the ear. The earring. That owl guy, he's a soldier of the earie. probably a very powerful soldier, if I were to guess.

But if they have the jump-armers, they may know something about the room. That's true. I'm afraid you might be right. You don't think that there's any possibility that maybe he's just looking for friends. And he thinks maybe if he follows us around a little bit, we'd ask him to hang out? No. No, I don't. I think it's far more likely he wants to put our heads on a pike.

Now, where would somebody do that? It's an intimidation tactic by one side or to scare the other side and to submission. Why don't they just say, hey, if you don't stop, bad things are going to happen? Why do you've got to put somebody's head on the pose? It might be for decoration too, like it might be almost... That's a terrible decoration. It might be spooktober almost, and you might want some decorations outside your house. Wait, Hazel, you're telling me you've never heard of the famous warmonger.

Tadpole the Impala. You know, I've heard a lot of stories about Tadpole the Impelor. Okay. Because that seemed like something you just made up. Oh, no. It's something you tell all of us little frogies when we're growing up. It's horrifying. Oh, no.

It's a bloodbath. I don't like it. No, you wouldn't. Guess why? He's the undead. He can't even eat food. That's terrible. And now off your bed for him.

Oh, well, that's that's. think of where I thought I was going to go. I totally ruin this for you. It's all right. Imagine. So do we actually have to meet this vice world? We don't have to, but we should. We should.

We should claim the credit. That's true. I'm a little concerned about the balance of things. I have to have the speaking of the crows. It appears as though we might be pushing the tide too far in one direction and maybe it's not my concern. Maybe I'm getting soft. I don't know.

I just feel like we're messing with things that are beyond our comprehension. Who says that they are right? Why does it have to be a balance? You know, I... I've had nothing but trouble from the EU. I don't know. It's right. I don't have a good answer. I mean, I don't... Personally,

I don't think we need a balance at all. Often, demarc from the Marquis-Ake. Use the relics and take over our own dimmush. I know you feel that way, Romney. I know. And she could bring the marquise herself. She could bring industry and jobs and civilization to all of these clearings. And that's the goal. That's what we're shooting for, maybe.

I don't know. But as far as I'm concerned, if we get all four relics, they won't fall in the hands of either side until we say so. That's true. There's no one I trust more with priceless relics than myself. So I think that's a great idea. Do we know where the vice roy and all that were coming? You saw her walking out to the headquarters of the riverfolk.

So once we're done with breakfast, we should head over to the headquarters. All right. Maybe say thank you to Mr. O'Donnell. Sure. Yeah, if we have to, all right. So I'll continue my breakfast. I want to, who is the banner? I want to get a sense of, does the banner feel like, different than the other relics? Even that it's all shadowy and the other ones are like kind of bright and gleaming.

It was also glowing with the orange light. Right. He just cast the orange glow cast the dark shadow. I would say it's pretty obvious to tell they each have kind of a separate power. They all kind of glow with like the embers of the blazing heart. The one, like, fucks with your noggin. The other one is like trees and the other shadows. I'm strong.

I hope one day my special power is trees. Southernly trees! Are you seeing two towers? That's pretty powerful. Too shit. Are we ready to go? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready if you all are. I'll get so weird. We don't have too much time, so we should try to keep it brief, but we should say goodbye and maybe divorce. putting a good word with the Marquise.

We'll let you lead the way, I suppose. Is there any chance that you've already met this person in another time? Yeah. You've heard of her, though. Maybe we shouldn't let Grumley lead the way then. You know, I kind of like the destruction that follows

when you let us leave the way. I've got the tavern. I put on my filthy ancient tavern. It's filthy with a swamp and chicken grease. Yeah, so I put it on. I think you should still do a lot of the talking and Rosie here is quite right out I don't know what you're talking about

I have heard of Rosie the rib-a-but-the but I'm assuming that's the Rosie you mean oh well that was quite a leap of assumption but as a frog I have a tendency to leap is what what you're trying to say what I'm not a bad thing that you leave no I didn't think it was a bad thing but you sure said it was like a bad thing I didn't mean to offend anybody. No, I think that that's, yes, that's exactly who I'm there. Yeah, what is Rosie have to do with anything? It's not like Rosie's here.

You're right. Well, I'm just saying that she's very renowned in the Marquis-Aid. Yeah, no, probably, sure. I'm just saying, we have some, we have some ends. And in a mechanical sense, I have plus two to my reputation role who's the Marquis-Zing. Sure. Anyways, let's go. I'm not wearing any.

You gather your things. Pretty sure you're not going to head back to the briny carpenter. As you make your way through the long wooden boardwalks of Mutted Creek, as you turn a corner, you hear a low way like, oh gosh, rob in the middle of the night, a priceless handling. We should probably pick out the base. Oh, bad if I'll thank goodness that shipwax sales are going to bring in everything.

that I was robbed just terribly. Do we even still have the the sandwich board? I don't think so. I left it in because I thought maybe it would drop business out to his stent. Walk more quickly.

Quick, right, let's walk. Be a little bit more person. I'm ruined, but until the chip-luck comes back, that'll be fine. I didn't steal all the berries. We run in the opposite direction. It's far away from Gus as possible. He can just sell.

It'll be okay. Let's go. I was probably the filthy ear that robbed me. And you hear him wailing, you hear him wailing as you leave Harry from Harry's berries behind. And then you pass, you hear a voice calling out, Hey, will you sign a non-compete clause?

And then you run past, the voice fades away. What's not a berries in this clearing? I don't want any. more of this. I want none of it. You run through and you actually know that Muckbeth Creek, there's a lot of... I have a question. Is there

a platypus who runs paris-berries, you can certainly try to find them. But yes, now that now that parties. And then you hear as a berry business. As you're

leaving, you hear as you're leaving Harry, you hear one you heard one thing. Well, I hope that chiplock didn't go off into the swap and get end up by a tadpire. I hear those were terrible this time of spooked over. And you eventually make your way. Yes, Abby, yes, they were. You make your way to the headquarters of the Riverfoe Company.

You see, once again, the large storefront, where the line, Despite the early hour, is wrapping around several blocks as people are exchanging gold and clans for a great number of goods. As you eventually arrive, you also see, however, that there is a heavy presence of rows and rows of Marquis eight soldiers and bodyguards. As you eventually arrive, there are two Marquis eight soldiers that basically stop your path. And they look at you and say, Who goes there? It is I Grumley

Of New Felicia Is it so grumly Or just regular grumly I think just regular grumby I was a deputy Oh damn it I was a knight or anything Deputy

Why are you speaking to me Deputy boy Well I'm not a deputy anymore Even us Save your purpose Weirder ones Have you heard of vagabonds That were

Responsible for all this No? What are you about to? What are you trying to do? The Vice Roy is speaking with the president. May we join them? I'm sure that if you just send for them and tell them that we're out here,

then they'll be able to clear up any misunderstanding that is currently happening presently. Do we have anything that we could show him that wouldn't be like private information that they wouldn't want us to show? Uh, what did you? You had a few things. We had a whole box from Gene.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's probably something that you could show. I'll take out the box. What about the reputation moves? When you ask for a reasonable favor based on your reputation, roll with your reputation to make something happen. Yeah, roll a Marquis Aderall. Great idea. All right. Is this a role that we can also help on? Ooh, yes.

I don't know. Probably. I'm saying about a six. It's a 10. It's a 10. Oh, we're good then. So let's see. On a 10 plus, they've only heard good things are more likely to ally with you. That's when you meet someone who's important. for the first time. And on seven to nine,

and you roll for reasonable favors. Oh, it cost you a rep of it. Well, that's, that's, so that's if you're asking for a favor. Right. When you meet with someone important for the first time who's of a faction, you roll with your reputation,

which is what he did. On a 10 plus, they've only heard good things are more likely to ally with you. I'll include that role for the vice wrong. Ah, I was just testing you. Of course I've heard of the macabond. And then going forward,

if you need to ask for help, you get an additional plus one. Oh, I'm going when you ask them for help. Oh, okay. But when you ask for specific help, you take a minus in your reputation. You cash them in, basically. Oh, that sounds good. What a delightful change in attitude, my friend. Thank you.

Well, you can never be too careful. I don't know if you heard about what happened down at the voracious gloom. The voracious. Wait. No, no, we didn't hear anything that happened there. But if you'd like to enlighten us. No, no. Tell us all the detail.

Some horrible neadue elves broke in, and the alligator man that runs the business is almost dead. Well, thank goodness, vagabonds would never do anything like that. And they robbed him blind. Oh. Wow, that is unfortunate. But he's not dead, right? No, not yet, at least. Well.

Well, it sounds like whoever did it didn't kill him. Maybe they just... He's clucking like a mad gator. Oh, my God. He's cold. I certainly wouldn't hope that he were to perish untimely at all. Maybe go talk to the We're all the way right here. No, I've heard of you.

I was just testing you. You can never be too careful. I will lead him to the vice court right away. Better yet. Of course. Thank you. Let's go. And he turns and leads you.

And yeah, he just turned into that. And he leads you through rows and rows. heavy security, not just of Marquis 8 soldiers, but also of the mercenaries of the River Foe Company. As you make your way of the familiar stairs, the various hallways to the top floor, to the large double doors to Gene O'Donnell's office, as the door, he stops at the door very hesitantly and gives a light wrap, he opened the door and sits his head, and he can't really quite hear what he says, and he closes it and says,

well, you may go in. I have heard the vice voice said great things because Mr. O'Donnell has said great things. Thank you. That's good news. I would like take the the group aside out of your shop, hopefully.

Before we go in, just one moment, please. So what's the whole deal of the conscription thing and drafting kids? Where are we with that? got to stop it, really? I believe Peggy made it pretty clear that, that, that they would stop. And then, and no more, no more that.

Jean would do, well, wait, hold on, we got the letter from the guy. The guy said the key would, it's been a while. I don't know. Did we come to an agreement? I mean, we could reiterate. I suppose she said that she would stop temporarily. Oh, just to make sure that we did what we said. Yeah, she said she was stopped temporarily and that once we gained the clearing form,

she'd stop completely forever for sure. So we should just confirm. We'll reiterate. Of course. Right? Yes. Okay. Yeah.

That was the deal. And we're firm. And you know, I'm feeling a little soft this morning. Uh, uh, well, regardless, it were in pretty good standing. I think that it wouldn't be too odd for us to, um, you know, convince them one way or the other, hopefully. All right. May we? Yes, of course.

I had just stepped away. You mean you also wouldn't have my permission. Goodbye. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have.

I don't. And you open the door and you see the large, hefty form of Gene O'Donnell, his crumbed whiskers with a freshly eaten sandwich on his desk. And another freshly eaten sandwich across his desk is sitting in front of a, also a larger than average cat with a dark gray fur, a long whiskers, large green eyes. eyes, wearing a bright, almost godly purple, like a fur robe, fur coat as she sits across and she turns to look at you. And Gino, with all the rings on all of his fingers, he beckons you and says, oh, yes, Ms. Roy, it's an enlightened to introduce you to my friend. He's going to the vagabond.

We have grubly over here. We got books We have We have Froggy We call it Froggy From Frogdown, I think And we got

Hey Zuma Come, this is Miss Roy And she turned back At you And she turned back to you Oh These are the vagabonds

Yes, it's a pleasure To make your acquaintance It wants me to stop seizing children I have the same voice as the other guy Well we're glad that you brought that up Because yes that was that was more or less The terms of the agreement

That's right, yeah It's not pretty good train I didn't think you would Success You would successfully Help us take two clearings I was looking forward to the Additional Labor from strapping

young men and women. Well, it's kind of a weird thing. Well, now you don't need it anymore because you have very securely, you have control of click-part crossing, and there's no evening presence to the south or even down here, so it's quite safe where you are now. You shouldn't need to conscribe or draft any more we let. That's true.

Now you can send them to do learning and, you know, trades and stuff, and like kids stuff. I don't even know. I got kicked out of my home for you. But kids do stuff, right? Of course. I think so. I'm not from around here.

Yes, like, you're a neighbor! When I was a kid, I used to eat a lot of mud. Oh, they can eat mud now. And look at how I turned out. My eyes get, like, really bugged out, and then my tongue falls out of my mouth. That's all that. I'm picturing you, like, one of those squeezy toys in the eye fog and the, like, shouldn't tongue shoots out. She looks at you and says,

she kind of like clenches her purpose a little bit and says, Well, the Marquise herself will be very happy that I have taken three clearings. So even if the Uri comes back, we make still many child soldiers, but not for a long time. Well, that's not exactly the deal that you have. And besides, if you keep conscribing children, then you can't use the new catchphrase. we came up with.

It's called Marquis-Sea, the Dimmwood, where kids can be kids. And it would be ashamed to really let that marketing go to waste. Oh, it's really got to rent to it. I think what Hazel's trying to say is that the children are our future. Do you feel persuaded to uphold your end of the bargain? Did you do message testing for that? There was a small sample group. Our focus groups we did three.

and a few ideologues afterwards. You can presumably anybody's whoever would like to do it. And you can all do you charge. Do I feel charmed? Do I feel charming? How much charming? How uncharming? How uncharming?

How uncharming I feel. What'd you get? I got a five. Six, seven, eight. We're fucked. Well, if two of us help, we can at least get a seven. I'll help. I'll help you. What do I have to mark off?

I always forget. Exha. Got it. And so with this, you give the sense that she's going to, she's going to hold her end of the bargain. You get the sense of that. But she's definitely worried about the power of the eerie and how vengeful that they're going to be. And so if there's anything that you can do, maybe in initial clearings or securing things or securing the fate of the Marquis-Aid, that would be a very very very very very very Marquis 8, that would be a very easy way to sway her.

To give her basically, to make her rest easy, that the Eerie aren't going to swoop in and take back everything anymore. So what it's worth, I would just like to go on record as saying that the Eerie don't really like any of us very much, and we don't really like them back. So if it would put your mind at ease, we're certainly not going to turn around and just give out our help to anyone, especially the Eerie.

So, we are very clearly in the camp of the Marquis-Az. And if there's anything else that we might be able to do to help you and put your mind at ease and especially keep the children out of conscription, then we're in. A new catchphrase for us. We're clearly against the eerie. But maybe just don't go advertising that or they're going to swoop in and kill us instantly. But, but that's neither here or there. Remember, where kids can be kids or something. Muckbag.

Ginge, because there's something going on with your throat. What? Do you need a loggzange or something? What's that? Did you swallow? Do you have a hairball? Is that not okay to say that we can? Oh, no.

Oh, thank you so much. I'm so sorry. I knew there was something going on. I'm so happy. Pardon me, you know, I just, it happens so often. I don't, I don't. And Gene is making that exact same. I don't know what's, what, uh, I've never noticed.

I pick up the hairball and just pock in it. Yeah, it is large and absolutely dripping and disgusting. Holy dimly. Well, anyway, as you can see, I'm a former member of the Marquis, eh? And they still have more loyalty. As you've heard about us, we've done some great deeds for the Marquise. Um, and so we could, if you just agree to, uh, stop any further conscription.

All the other clearings date due recruitment. And plenty of woodland folk would love to take up a sword for the Marquis E. In exchange for coin and food. Well, and I believe where we're going to next actually may be an eerie controlled clearing. So we'd be happy to check things out for you. That's right. We're headed to Drake Smith next. Do a little bit of reconnaissance, if you will.

I'd like to go to the beach if you could. That might be in the future next, Hazel, of course. I burn if I'm in the sun for too long. Does all the mucus want to frivol up and crack? Please don't talk about my mucus in front of a cat. I know what it's like. Well, I suppose if we have two clearings, that two new clearings, the Marquise herself would be pleased enough that I suppose I can put aside the additional help and free labor.

cheap labor of teenagers. That is my end of the deal. And if you are offering to be scouts for the Marquis 8, I suppose I can reward you for what you've done for the Marquis 8 and for the tasks you're going to perform.

We certainly wouldn't say that out to a reward. There are rumors that the Erie are looking for something very dangerous by the coast of Drake Smith. Outer coasts! There are mysterious lizards lurking in the shadows there.

They believe that there is a dragon cult. And I suppose that it's a good olme fiction. But the eerie are crafty, and especially when they are desperate, the talons come out. We happen to be headed there so we will investigate for you. Whatever we find bringing back to New Felicia? We can do that. A booker was just saying he wants to see New Felicia. Felicia. Always wanted to go.

Isn't that right? And I'd like to go home for a little bit, or my new home anyways. It's been a while since I've been back. So yes, we will bring it back to new Felicia. We can deliver it to... ...iss as someone we should deliver it. Tell them with you with me. Tell them you're the vagabonds that... ...that we killed a cent.

I will send word. And with that I take my leave. Gene, it's been a pleasure as always. Yes, as always, Ms. Roy. You know, I read in a document one, if you join a large in your two, you stop licking yourself primarily.

You won't get hairball. I mean, but, you know, that's not really my place. You know, you're a lady. I find what you do with your own room. Right, never mind. Not done. And she just huffs and scoots her chair bath. and as she shuffles to the door,

she turns around and does a glare. Keep in mind, I'm giving up my child soldiers for this. Please, do me even more proud. And she turns around and walks out the door and slams it. Oh, all right. I suppose we should get going then, maybe. Did she say something about rewards at an hour later? Oh, yeah.

She's kind of like dangled it, and we just have. I think that was the reason she asked us to go to the new police afterwards as we do the thing, and then she's going to, like, probably just execute us if I had to guess. You think so? Yeah. I do. I don't remember to get paid up front next door. This conversation is riveting, but maybe we should walk and talk while we do this.

Gene, we appreciate your hospitality. Do you mind if we get going? I'm not to father. Why are you asking me for permission? He has some be pleaded issues that you need to ask a framed daughter you just met for permission to leave? Whatever makes you... Yes, sure.

What was it? Because you thought my guy's murder like everyone in the clearing, huh? Would you like a clam-trip Rubin? Only if it would offend you if I said no, then... It wouldn't have, but now it will. I guess I'll add the sandwich then. Well, take to Rubin, yes. That would be lovely.

A pardon give. And he makes some Rubens for everyone. He says, Hey, you know, while you're here, just swing by the warehouse, just the stuff in the back, more like the clearance items. Just take whatever you need. Just tell Benny and Vinny. They'll be a little irritated.

But, yeah, they're fine, they're fine. And so he gives you the Rubens to go. So you generous. Thank you. I'm understood. Thank you. I think I'll take my Rubin to go if you. That's why they're wrapped. the beautiful butcher of the paper. You know what kind of butcher I am.

A strong-cutter. To birds. Goodbye. To the warehouse. Goodbye. And always scamper out the door. He turns around a lookout his window. As you all make your way down, and you're escorted by an honor mercenary,

and you see that the, as you make your way down, that the guards of the viceroy are all following her out and guiding her to her ship. You all head down to the back warehouse of the goods where maybe they're not the highest quality, but you can probably fully stock

up and replenish all of your injury on your arm tracks. You mean the exhaustion? Yeah, I would say that you could stock up on supply. A full restock. It's a full restock courtesy of Gene O'Donnell. That was a nice trick. But they're all of the voice change.

That's clever. I liked it. That was clever. It was good. I liked it. You all, you talk to Benny and Vinny a little bit, and they seem relieved that all of the shenanigans of, they seem a little bit tired,

and they kind of reference like they're whispering back and forth about a heist that they did, but are not more forthcoming than that. And with that, you are all escorted back out onto the streets of Muckbed Creek. And the day is yours. It's quite early. It's not even noon yet. You're fully resupplied with all the weapons, armor, food supplies, anything that you would want to pull out of your pack, the others would have.

And it was courtesy as thanks for the... You saw that the massive chest that had not been in his office previously was absolutely brimming. gold pieces, more gold than any of you probably seen in one place in your entire lives. Wow. So what do you do? Well, I hate to just, you know, suggest leaving Muckbed so quickly. I haven't been home in a very, very long time, and I didn't even really have the chance to see anyone. But maybe if the theory is on the way where we think they might be, it might be best for us to get a move on. I agree. The question is, how do we get the hair? I pull out the map. and we have a couple options we could take the river or we could go through sticker brush

but there's rumors of a rebellion there might be nice to there's no army it might be a more pleasant journey along the road than dealing with with the woods you live somewhere do we like what do we know about sticker brush I would say that you know the sticker brush is a mouse clearing that is uh almost You know that there are whispers of boars in the woods outside of Stickerbrush. Of a quibor sex done. You don't know what kind of... People go missing.

And they come back feeling pretty good. And you know that it is overgrown with brambles and thorns, and only the denizens of this place are really able to navigate it easily. Armies aren't able to march in. Even the Erie scouts aren't able to fly in and get any kind of. kind of foothold. And there are whispers of, of zealous rebels that even most denizens of the forest find to be a little bit intense for that. Do we feel that we can even like feasibly travel there? You could travel to potentially the clearing, whether, that's what I'm saying,

or is it like, is it like that hard to get it? You get a sense that it's almost kind of like a fort and it's very heavily guarded, that any, any, that it's, it's been impenest. measurable for months, years, for both the Eerie and the Marquis 8. And it's so remote, it's the most remote clearing in the entire dim one, as far as its position. Wow, as exciting as all of that sounds, and it's a place I've never been before. I don't know if we necessarily want to go marching into any kind of a fortress. If they're not particular to one side or the other, and they hear that we've been heavily helping a certain faction. You know what we could do?

It's just the one off. We get close to the edge. I take all my clothes off and start running, screaming through the entire place. You guys go around the side. Everyone will be drawn to me. I die, but you make it safely the way we need to go. We can also make it safely where we need to go without anybody dying. If we just go around, stick a brush.

I like that idea better, actually. No need to valiantly sacrifice yourself. on the thorns uh in a naked fashion uh no i hear there's a quill war sex dungeon there i don't know what that is and i'm not sure that i want to ask if you're just trying to like say something without saying it you can wink like i don't have eyelids so oh i guess i never knows um um there is a third option we could ask jean to have one of his fellows take us on a down the river. But it isn't too an eerie clearing and given what the auditors just did. I don't know if that's a good idea.

I don't think that you get us very far. We probably have to get open once. And we didn't do very well in the open water last time. Now, with the otters with us, I would feel more safe, more comfortable with that option. They're pretty fearsome warriors, but... Then that weird old car. Oh, she's... But you know, I will say that I don't think that it's fair. I don't think it's fair for us to endanger more of the otters. I think it's a weird. I think there's a way to completely avoid the Quillbore Sex dungeon that we should just do that. We should head up the other way.

You keep saying that series of words in that order, and I'm not really sure what it means, and at this point I'm almost too afraid to ask. I read it in a document once. So I was thinking we should take the other direction. That's the total opposite way from Bricksmith, rather. I'm not sure to me. So hold on. Can we just go through the forest and completely avoid it?

It'll be a little more dangerous, but I think we should. Yeah, let's do that. As much as I'd love to meet some of these members of the Woodland Alliance. Yeah, I would say that you've heard whispers of the Woodland Alliance. You had to refer talking to it up in Ribbonne Falls. Right, I just didn't know if we ever actually called them the Lordland. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As much as I would love to meet some of the members of the Woodland Alliance.

It sounds like they're doing fantastic work. I just, I don't know if we would be well received with all that we've done for the Maki Zay. I don't see how they'd known that. Um, well, I would just be worried that maybe I'd be a reputation. might precede us. Well, I made us all of these, and I hold out these little tabards that say working for the Marquisites. Oh, no, no, no. Thank you.

You were thinking that we could wear these. A beautiful gift, but I can't. We can't run those. But then, and I flip it around. It says working for the Erie. Oh. I don't think he'd have to work with these radicals. We have to lay very much.

Well, then we could just take all of a clothes off, and then we're radicals too. We're back to the first time. We could act as pathetic peasants and go to their door. and say, oh, there's been so much violence in Muckbent Creek, we need reckons. Yeah, and then one of them takes a knife out and stabs you in the throat and says, ha, radical. Is that what radicals do? I get that's what they do.

I mean, I honestly don't know. Radical. All I'm saying is I'm concerned about it. He'll recognize. He takes lips and rides away in his skin. Waltry you and pre-sung. He flips out his helies and he's face. Devil may cry.

Later. Three gloves and silver metal flying the woods. It's very extreme. Hey, boomers, do you remember Capri, son? Silver server. Oh, boy. What was the flavor called?

I don't remember. I was something similar with that. All right, so I will figure in the woods then. I think it's going to be a lot safer than getting my next slip, I guess. Someone on Healy's. I agree. I don't even know what those are, but they sound very dangerous.

You know, no, I just need it up. You could probably sell those. That's a great idea, and I just sit down where I'm at. I just are raining out of blue print for Gileas. To be fair, it's... Thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts.

All right, divorce. Is that the best way, we're sure? You know, what they always say, the shortest distance between two points and is a straight line, or in our case, the kind of crooked line that goes from one place to the other. Well, we should head off. Okay. As you make your way to the

edge of the clearing, you know that it's swamp around this area and then forest. You actually pass a familiar person. You see the frazzled old hair. Harry. He has a little stick. He has two bags full with basically

what you assume he did the rest of his possessions that have been stolen. Or rancet. We didn't take that much. As he begins to kind of trudge off in the march, and he's like, well, hey, hey, it's my one employee that I came. By the way, we have to cut your hours to zero. Oh, no. That's unfortunate.

Do I get separates? No, and just so you don't send the union there to me, I'm taking it off into the woods. Well, I wish you a safe journey. Well, I'm not sure it's going to be safe, but there was a bit of providence in that I woke up to a love letter. For someone called BJB, I don't really know what those initials are. But I seem to be a lady a secret admirer. And she said, she's a man eater for sure, but she swears she's not a cannibal.

so I'm going to be around in the woods and go out of a pleasant day I brought a bouquet of roses That sounds really nice I'm very happy for you Harry Do you bring a bouquet of chocolate-dipped berries too? Oh that's a... Wow, I can't believe I didn't think about that

You know, when you're in the business of berries for so long You absolutely just forget all of the uses of berries which is probably why I went out of business. Anyway, sorry, employee. No servants paid, but the Union phones will be able to find me. Goodbye. The hell is wrong with these people. It's clearing.

Jesus Christ. He bowed. Goodbye, Harry. He bowed. Bye. Say hi to bridge it for us. Who? This is exactly why I left us clearing in the first place.

People are nuts. He's a little strange. Well, we're getting out and we can be alone in the woods, just how we like. Um, if that's the case, if we're actually alone, um, I do have concerns. We may have made a promise that we can't keep to the Marquis 8. Whatever we find in that ruin, assuming that the Erie doesn't get there first, we can't give it to the Marquis 8. Well, they don't even know what's there. We could just give him something and then get pain and then start. Go it all now.

It's a good idea, but if... I guess we'd have to convince them that whatever they were looking for wasn't actually there, and there was no powerful. I mean, they know it's something powerful. I just... We all are in agreement that we can't turn over the artifact, the Marquis-Aid.

Oh, no, I wasn't going to do that. Were you going to do that? Absolutely not. Okay. I don't know what we're going to do with any of these things, especially once we have all four, but... I was thinking that we could use all of them and summon the Elkhluda, whatever his name is,

and let him just an... annihilate everybody. You think that's what's going to happen? That would be awful. We would be unleashing hell on the entire deal. You know, I thought he were resurrecting his soul from the ground, and he was going to march in him just overtake the land. You know, that's what happens anytime you start on earthing these old artifacts, right?

You start summoning ancient evils and stuff. I didn't know you guys were trying to do good. Oh, but maybe it was ancient goods. Oh, no, we're definitely summoning some kind of like horrific undead deal or something that's going to kill mostly everyone. I don't believe. I'm kidding. It's spooktoba. Let's go. Oh.

I always get scared at this time. But I do like it because people leave pumpkins outside the houses. You're not supposed to take those, Hazel. Why would they leave them outside if they didn't want me to take them? And they even sometimes put nice little faces in there, like it's smiling, asking me to take it. There were a lot of children that are crying all over the dim wood. Does it make... That doesn't seem like a problem for me.

Does it make the theft more pleasant if they're smiling? Yeah. And sometimes they're making like a scary feast like the challenging me. And so then I take it and I say, ha. I'm not scary to the talking. That sounds like rationalisation for your horrible kleptomania. If you leave something outside your house and it gets taken,

it's your own fault. Grumley, those were some very large words. I'm proud of you. I've learned a bit. Because it's being around all you, well, I'm just saying, I mean, you just go, I would say next time you see a smiling pumpkin or an angry pumpkin,

instead of thinking it as a pleasant invitation or a challenge is to steal something, just think, oh, that might be someone's personal property. But why would they leave it outside? It's decoration. Haven't you ever decorated anything? Not as food.

Well, sometimes people are weird, we didn't decorate with food. Well, they're going to lose a pumpkin. Well, I guess they can't secure it if it's outside their house. So... Exactly. If they want to decorate, decorate the inside. I'll come in your house unless you make them in. Well, it's just food for fun.

What if they leave the windows open it? You can see the pumpkin inside right on the window itself. That still seems like breaking and entering to me. No, if I didn't break nothing and it's just sitting there. What's... Definitely entrance. No, I didn't enter nothing. I've never done that.

It's just if it's on the window sill, I had done that. I'll lie just now. But most of the time, most of the time, if it's on the window sill, the wind, it's like,

the wind can just blow it right off the cell. And so really it's more like I'm helping them to not have the pumpkins or the pies or whatever might be sitting on the cell fall down and get destroyed. So I gently take it and keep it safe in the stomach. On my bag. for later.

That's what we call mental gymnastics. There's another big word for you, come. You write that one now. Oh, mentor gymnastics. Okay, and I pull out like a really sloppy notebook. Let's turn writing, J-I-M, Deptash.

Whatever helps you sleep in night, Hazel, that's all that matters. Anything. Nothing can you sleep better than a little pie. That'll be right to sleep. Okay, so you are doing a travel by the woodland or

by the forest. by the forest. As you you trudge to the woods, you hear the loud snorting echoing to the park. I told you, I told you,

I had heard that there was a Quill-Baw sex dungeon that someone near that place. I don't really know what that means. Snap of a crop. I'll mark I'll mark you to K. This is the Italian.

I will also mark you to K. I have never wanted you all to say more. Um, I will also mark. Mark 2 decay. We're going to plus 2. How do you want? Who has your name? Have we all rolled it?

I haven't yet. She is, Nikki has not been here. That's what I was going to suggest. So you guys are plus 1 plus 3. 3. Do we fail? 8. Total? You rolled 8? I hold the 5. You can use the root T's on this. If you choose to.

Let's let it ride. All right. Show us the Quibor's next dungeon money. I'm going to give me a claw for this. I was hoping for a low roll when you said you hope that we failed it. So you know. So you begin to make your way through the woods. You hear, it takes you a long time because the swam gives way to dense, thorny force. Underbrush.

The, the, underbrush. gets denser and denser, thicker and thicker. It takes, you nearly stab yourself on larger and larger thorns as you get further and further into this forest. And you have to make camp for the night several times because it's a large forest. And in the night, you hear the rattling of chains, the cracking of whips. You see fires off in every direction.

you you see off in the distance you see what looks like through the trees it's wood but it's not a tree it almost looks like a like a cross like a large wooden axe and you're not sure what it is

is you continue to make your way and you're starting to get a little spooked it is spooked over but these this doesn't look like like ladpires tadpires like ladpires these don't look like tadpires

and on one of these nights you you are you feel like you're you're getting lost the dense thorny large thorns are interweaving above you and you should take your time to go through you almost are slicing yourself and poking

yourself and you hear the loud snorting and grumbling and cheering and the rattling of chains the cracking of whips and is louder and louder and you can't tell in what kind of what direction it is. And you get all turned around as you make your way deeper and deeper, and suddenly you all just stumble over a large,

thorny route and stumble into a small clearing. As you stumble and you see firelight, and all of a sudden you hear this, as you see... Just a nightmare. As you stumble into the center of this cleaning, there's a large roaring. bonfire and all around you are hairy figures long wide snouts with tusks rising up to the night sky all of them are wearing dark black

leathers and chains all over their bodies as you see that there are various planks crosses all over chains and some have whips, crumps, paddles. As we stumble into the clearing, I just want to be like, I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding. The thorns were sharp. Thank goodness the dim wood doesn't have any grizzly sharks. Oh my God, what the hell is this? And immediately you stumble, and you see that you're surrounded and hear all of the noises stop.

As all of the eyes of dozens of these bores that have these shaggy backs, that almost shaggy bats that almost go out into porcupine quills as

and they are all just staring at you momentarily it appears that we took a wrong turn by Albuquerque we'll just be going we'll just back up

the way we came we didn't mean to interrupt this lovely party that it looks like you're having we certainly don't want to dampen

a good time have I ever seen a bore before now No. Did I even think they existed before? I would say that you know that boars and bears are, you know, are the wild, savage denizens, not of the common gentrified folk. Deer are more of the mystical whispered ones.

How many are there? There's probably about 20. Of all genders all around you. Maybe we should snort or something so they know we're not. Do they seem like they heard what I even said or could I like understand me? Like I, they are all just staring at you. Like, this is like probably 10 seconds of silence as they're all staring at you. It's getting awkward.

Look, a dance. Do you do a dance or something. What? A dance. A dance. I take my hat off and I do a little. I tap my foot and I fog foot to the time. Trying to make something.

And I am desperately smiling while I do this. Make a role, whatever that is. It is a role for seeing myself trusting fate, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I do charm instead of water. And I'm doing whatever, what is it, mark an exhaustion to help him? Yeah, if you do, no need, I'm good. I got a 14.

Cool. If he's doing this, can I just be reading the tense situation, seeing if any of the boars were, like, looking like they want to attack, Join us. As this happens, all of the eye ship from all of you to Booker. As one who has a large pot melon and a whip

cracks it and just I jump back a lot. I'm gonna reach into my back. Fresh meat. You misunderstand. I like your dance blues. Outer speech. Um, uh, the name, the name's, uh, Booker. Uh, it's nice to meet you.

That's your name. Have you, do you come? Did you get the event invite on the bulletin? Uh, the, the invite on, on the, the bulletin, the bulletin in, in, in the previous, uh, clearing that we made. Yeah, it's the, the, the Fern Life bulletin. Oh, um, yeah, absolutely. That's, uh, that's, that's, that's, that's why we're here. But we, but we can't stay for long and we just figured we'd stop by and say hi and get to know some of the great folks and the fur life and all of that good stuff. This looks lovely. It really does, but I don't think we

can stay very long. No, we can't no. Well, and as you see only three of us have fur, so we don't really fit in. That's true. That's true. Oh, it's fair, like with an end. Oh, fun. Of course, I miss foote. There, another club, and then he, uh, I'll see.

And he turns back, and then there's there's a sign that has a little picture of a firm and says like Fern Life Meetup. And you see that it looked like they were pretty aggressive, that they were all kind of closing in on those seconds. However, Bookers dance. They've all kind of let up a little bit. And you hear one's like, oh, he's pretty good. And another one's like, oh, I got dives on you. I'm going to.

What was that? I'm going to sneak into the underbrush for just a second and put together using the seaweed that I had, some of the clan shells and some big sticks, and I'm going to bring out some freshly crafted, I would say probably about 10 freshly crafted whips that have clam shells on them. No, we're not here for the party.

We're just here for a delivery. Oh, special delivery. Special delivery. Special delivery for Fernlife. Yes. These new, um, clam wips. Yeah. Clamps, clamps. Clamps.

What peggie? Yeah. There's some custom special. And then you see one, like, no, I didn't know it. I didn't know it. And he, uh, he lumbers up to you and he, uh, scoops it all up as he says, Oh, what are you? Do you have, do you have a, like a fribhole or something?

I don't know. No, it's not a wonderful. I haven't you ever before from me? He said, he said, well, what, what does he owe you? Oh, no, nothing. We're just going to be on our way. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sure you did.

Nope, absolutely nothing. We're just going to be on our way. That's why we're here just to drop them off. A tip is not included, no. It depends on what kind of tip you're planning on giving us. I think that some of the ladies are like to see you do another dance. Well, of course, it would be my absolute best clown zone. Deepest, uh, I'll turning into that guy again.

Yeah, Booker, put this on and I hand him. It's a clam bra tied together with some weed. What the hell? You want to go and put this on? No. They want it. Put it on. It's very fetching.

Oh, damn it. I, like, shim me into the clam bra and I take my hat off and I, ha. Woo! Safe passage through the woods. And then after you finish, there's like stop, and all our eyes are kind of dead and they're glaring at you. Oh, that's all.

That's nice. You get tipped four to K, one for each of you. You get tipped, offer you some food and some refreshments. I'm like, oh, yeah, no, we meet up here about once a month. And, yeah, no, I mean, all the denizens are really afraid of us, but we're just, you know, we're just trying to have a good time. And I think it's worth misunderstood. Oh.

So here's a panty with for FernLife. Well, this has been very enlightening. We appreciate the hospitality, and maybe next month we'd be able to join it. Yeah, and if you ever need any more, like, whips, the bras, or anything, you just send out a notice to Rosie the Riveter. She's the one that supplied all this with, just the delivery people. She's very crafty. I'll have to make a profile.

Please do. You hear one of the boards go, huh, oh, he does, I'm going to look like an name, Dick Caprice, sir. And you can't one that,

they just, oh, he's a head of the sissy you caught. Oh, my. Well, we will be sure to make sure that your misunderstood nature does not go that way any longer. You are lovely, lovely people, and we appreciate the fun time that you showed us.

Well, thank you. Welcome to enjoy, but we're just going to go about our business. as we're welcome to join the night. You can just watch. A first time. Oh, wow. It's the whole pressure.

No, no, we got it. Yeah, I don't think we could. Yeah, no, no, no. Next time. The show next time. Take care. Watch out for Tedpires. It's October.

Oh, come up. You can go, goodbye. All right. We'll scare them off. Down lettering advice for stopping by. And then, uh, we, you all make your leave. And you hear, you could call from a snorting. Resume.

Resume. nice. I feel like that could have gone so many different ways. I was ready to kill all of them. Oh, I mean, there were 20 up. With one swing, I can kill three. That's three, and another twin, that's six. Uh-huh, yeah, probably.

I really only could grapple them, but I feel like that may have confused a sent me sickle if I tried to grapple. I don't know. Well, on the way, we fine. and we made something in the woods. They actually gained resources for the first time.

And friendship. And friendship. Well said. And snacks. And that's the truth. You'd have a few like little cups of water. It's orange slices. No, no.

Like baggage. It's back. He's bags. I'm holding some Vienna sausages. What is this? God damn lunchable? That's gross specialty. and you finally make your way through another evening.

You split up tonight. And you arrive on the outskirts of Gautsmith. You feel... Drake Smith. Come on, like... My God, their heads are lifted! You arrived at Drake Smith. I've been thinking about Prime way too much the past couple weeks.

Oh, your lost love call is weird. So, with that, as you make your way through, the thorns start to dissipate behind you, and you start to feel something that you haven't felt in a long time, maybe if at all, ever, the sea air on your face, the smell of salt in the air as you begin to hear the roaring of the ocean far off in the distance, as once again, the firm soil gives way to marshyness, but it's less of the kind of dense bayou and more, it gives way to more of the marsherness that could be more equivocal to port wallow as you arrive at a bit of a salt marsh

and as you approach, you still stay in the tree cover. As you see out ahead, it's a town, but it seems to be in a state that's even less built up than Muckbed Creek. Everything seems to be made out of of reed and of wood, and all along the river, all built on stilts, huts and shacks, more or less. And however, you see where there's actually a great number of structures, all built up into the large swamp trees, the mangroves, rising up out of a swampy water, large wooden watch towers. and you see bits of gleaming metal as the ocean stretches out

I think it's the seven star sea wow how the fuck did I remember that I can't even get the Skinkerton right and stretching how the sea stretches out ahead of you as old Tom's River splits into a delta where this this town of the clearing is built

and you see a number of individuals making their way over dirt paths winding roads bridges here and there but a very simple life it seems to be a lot of fishing a great number of docks stretching out onto the ocean it seems to be quite quiet

if it wasn't for the great blooming presence of the eerie soldiers flying all about what do you do? I need a beer after that I love where your head's at beer and a cigarette 4 or 6 now this is a very dangerous

Jewish place. Well, it's so nice. Yeah, this is, this is, I don't know if I've ever even seen this before. Have I seen the ocean? That's up to you. I don't think I've ever seen the ocean before. The air is, is almost, it smells different. This is, this is, this is, it smells salty like somebody's cooking, but potentially.

It's lovely, truly. Did, so is the cat empire across an ocean? Or is it? Rich, you tell me. Of, I'm sorry. and it's like, I don't fucking care anymore. You know what? You fucking tell me for once.

I'm in a fucking beer. The ocean's not all it's cracked up to be. Why's that? It's just a bunch of water. Look at it. I've never been to this clearing. I don't think I've been this far south, but I took a ship

across a great body of water to, from the, the, The cat empire. Are we on the beach? You are in the, you're like in the kind of swamp outside, and then there's a huge clearing out ahead of you, and the sea is all from the distance. So what you're saying, it's even bigger than this.

It just keeps going. It's forever. What's it? It just starts a salty water. You can't drink it. It's worthless. I want to take a boat. I want to see where you came from.

Well, maybe one day we can go there, sure. So there's more beyond new Felicia. There's more beyond the dim one. I almost have said dead one. It's all beyond the dim one. Incredible. Great vast empires of cat domination. Great buildings.

Is that about the whole domination? There's kind of a different time of domination. Not too far off, though. I'm not judging how I'm pretty open-minded. I've been reading the panes of the lights. Oh, I'm glad you have an open mind. I told him I make a profile. I don't know what any of this means.

All these buzzwords seem to be euphemisms of some kind. There's a lot of a lot of like drawn demonstrations at this point. That is, that is crude. Very crude. Wow. Well, well, anyway, I mean, we're here. We're here now. We made it.

There's so much to see, but I guess we have to stay out of the eyes of the ear. Don't we? I'm gonna take this off. I didn't call me a tavern. This is the Marquis a tavern. I shove it in my bag. Are we even going to be able to find a place to stay here? I'm, gods, what if they know our faces?

What if they know? What if they know? What would I know our faces? Speaking of that, because of the... Whoever has the lowest, who has the most infamy with the Erie, I would like you to make a reputation role with someone that you do not know yet. Oh, did we go up last time? That's the only thing. I forgot.

You gained a bunch of infamy last time for the Erie. Yeah, I'm in minus one. I'm in minus one as well. How much did we gain? I don't know if I added them. You gained six? I didn't have six. Or was it eight? It was a four. No, it's six. I haven't written right here. Six. Six. It was four infamy with the Erie. Shit. Yeah, we didn't have a, we didn't have a pencil last time. It was out of the

that's a little bit. Yeah. Kind of a little bit. Out of graphite. No, I'm like, how do you even write with this? So I think we're all minus one. Yeah. So whoever wants to make a, I'm, yeah Oh yeah I'm minus one

Who's feeling lucky? Wait, hold on I think I'm actually past points I think it's a lot Yeah, so I'm actually one past minus one Yeah, I think we all are

I would say that on a metal count We're not quite as At minus two Whoever has the lowest Is on the track I'm four I'm four into towards the minus two Same

Yes Oh, I am Oh yeah, yeah I think one. So you're all the same. Okay. Someone will admit whoever wants to. I'll do it.

I hate them the most. Okay. Two. Got it. What do you do? So we heard of their lizards on towards the coast. So maybe we just like put our hoods up

and we just kind of lay low as if we're just wanderers, not really vagabonds. I don't know if there's a difference. You think that they might give us some sort of refuge or respite? Well, maybe. They at least have some connection to this... I thought they were like a cold bone. And they worship a dragon? What if we take some of these clams and we just dig a tunnel?

Dig a tunnel away? Yeah, quick before the eerie comes. Well, we should definitely do it quick. But dig a tunnel all the way across the clearing? Like to the beach, you know, or something. All the pretty good at digging. We just each take two clams and we just start digging and digging until we get some. somewhere.

It seems like a really long way away though and it's kind of swampy. It's very wet, but the ground's wet when we die. I like that about this place. You just want to like digging with the mud. Yeah. Just sit there. Because I don't have eyelids. So if I could just think down into the muck, my eyes could take a rest.

But you don't blink at all. No. What a horrible existence. I feel like you've been treading together for so long and I never noticed it could go blink. Well, that's because you don't blink. look at me very much. You only look at the food I have in my hands. I suppose that that is a hard truth, but I should hear it. Your eyes don't ever leave higher than my mouth. And my eyes are higher than my mouth. That checks out. Um, well, why don't we just take a look around and she poses

wanderers, as Pannishishishers, we should create new names then if we're going to do that, because the last thing we want is someone to be like, hey, are you the infamous vagabond so and so, and we're like, oh, we're bugger, grubly, and frog. Like, it's not going to work, you know what I mean? All right, what you know? We pose is a folkbed. Oh, we could pose as a folk band.

Oh, that wasn't really good. Yeah. Yeah, I can, oh, and I take out my clams and I just start clinking my clams together. That, I'll Bobby the Clam player. You could be percussion Yeah, the clam player The clams

Clam. Clams! More clams! More clams! Who could play the film? Booker, can you sing? No, no, I don't sing. Grumley, can you sing?

Hazel, can you sing? Hazel, you're going to sing. Okay, Brumley, what can you do? Brumley, you can sing. Remember when you sang? Well, Grumley always has gas. Does anyone have a woodwind instrument he can play?

Does he have to put it on his... No, I just meant because he's full of hair. Cheese is so gross. He's so... Oh, what's the shirt? What are you not sure? We don't have musical instruments. I can be the face player.

Can you make its own instruments? I mean, it's probably going to take, like, an hour. I've got a lot of cutlery, so we can all just play the spoons. Oh, you can play the spoons. Oh, do we have a... have a jug. Do you have an empty jug? Someone could play the jug. I could play the clam. I'm going to play the spoon and you can sing.

I'm going to take one of the bottles of liquor that I stole or a lyric and just chug at all. And see, look, you play the jug. Oh, all right. All right. And then you play the spoons and you're going to sing. It doesn't matter if it's good. Okay. What's the name of a band?

The four clan barrows. No, I don't think that's a good one at all. We could be the soggy, bottom crew. Oh, yeah. No, that's getting close. Is crew the rock wood for a band? Would it be the soggy bottom band? It could be. The whistling waterless. Yeah? No. No. No, I do like soggy bottoms pretty good. The wayboard wallers? No, but the soggy bottom, the problem with that is it makes me think of a diaper. Oh, what about this? The vagabonds.

I just never have you. No, no. Good thing that's what we were trying to enough. Oh, that defeats the purpose. Oh, you're right. Brumly, you sweet summer pug. I'm, I'm not very good at this.

I'm not very creative. Oh, no. That's only slightly, marginally better. Vagga is still in there, but yeah, I don't think that's going to work. That's actually on your pamphlet. The bag of bottoms. I was going to check. Bad up, I just shoot the vagabond.

I'm not sure. Modernly better. We're getting somewhere. Where are you from again? I know we just came in there. Muck Fed Creek. Okay. And where are you from?

No. Okay. And then where are you from Hazel? I'm from Nookington. Okay. So we could be the muck, Nuck, what? The new Felicia.

The Nuki Bolton. We should be... We can be the... That's worse than... That's worth than Foggy Bottoms. Yeah, no, I think we should just stick with the Foggy Bottoms. What about the Muckbed Jamboree? That's actually pretty good, yeah.

I like that one too. Mucket Jamboree, all right. But that could be the name of our first song. Well... We're going to play... And now, welcoming Foggy Bottom to the stage, performing the Muckbed Jamboree, and then you play on your jug, and you play...

on your spoons and I'll play on my clams and you just make up words. Well, then it's just obvious that we're from the muckback creek and then, oh, that's why we're here because it's, but if I, if our name was the muck bed jamboree, it would be even more obvious that we were from mucket. Well, I'm saying that's a good thing. Because it's obnoxious. Oh, and then we could say that we ran out of mucket because the cats over took it and we have fans of the eerie.

You are so smart of both of you. Exactly right. The muck bed jihad jihad. That was all crumbly. I'm just here without the jug. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't all have soggy bottoms. Fair enough. I guess I'm lost. You're lost. But now we need rock star names.

Oh. Um, big for me. I can't do this. My brain hurts. You can be Pug Floyd. Pug Floyd? Yeah. Pug Floyd? Yeah.

Is it just weird? There would be like you being named frog. That's a good point. No, that's not a bad name, though, for a rock star. I'm going to go with the name Everett. Oh, that's a good one. Sure. Yeah.

That's it. I'm going to be Everett. All right. I'm going to be... You could be Adel. December 5. Because you like to hang out in Adelie. Oh, that's great.

A deli. Yeah, Adelie. You'll just be Adelie. Okay. I'll be Adelae. I like that. It's a good one. And then Perk, Florida, you're coming up with something different.

I must be Floyd, I guess. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, that was really good. Are you from? No, I was thinking that I was going to go as David Crokee. I like it. It's got a certain ring.

I'll just be croaky. Okay. Yeah, Crokey. Crokey, Everett. A froggy star dust. Spraggy. Coddy Stardust and this fight is from Mar. Oh, my God.

Yeah, no, I'll just be croaky. Crokey, Floyd, Everett, and Adelie. Adela. Damn. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. Are you sure you don't want to be the single? Why don't you pass the judge to a deli?

No, no. No, I'm the judge might. All right, Edward. All right. All right. So we're good. So is, we should get us. Is it Floyd? Yeah. Are we settled? Yeah. And what are you playing?

Did you ever get an instrument? The spades. I'm playing the uprored bass. No, you were playing the spous. We don't have. We don't have. We just have a damn job. You just don't know in it and smack you own shit. No, please don't smack your own shit.

I take out a wash basin and I shove a stick through it. Can I borrow a string? Yes, you are. And I take out me ball of cat hair. And you start bowling it apart. And I twine it together the way you would with yarn to make an actual string. And I tighten it. It's very dark in here.

And I'll tie one end of the top. want it in the bottom. So it's like those... Gwenz to frog is so. It's literally just one string tied on a stick. Have you seen like those old school like... It's literally it's literally what they call.

Oh my God. I'm going to think of it. They have like a really goofy name. It's like a... It's like the old like grass like wash tub base. I can just play this. It only plays one note. It's like...

It's like... It's like... It's a little bit of a little bit of. I can do this. So this is when I play. The upright bass. All spoons. Maybe I'll hit the movies on it.

No, don't do that. All right, I'll just play the bass. You play that? I'll play spoons. What do you do? I've got the clams. Oh, the clams. Yeah, like a clamberine.

Yeah, clamberine. That's good. Yeah. Percussion. That's great. Percussion. So, are we just going to kind of... And I've got my feet.

Play out. whole way to this lizard cult and just hope that we just play our way. It's really just a well-thought-out, backup, just in case something happens. No, we should play our instruments as we go through, so it's clear that we're a band. Oh, yeah, but then we draw attention to ourselves.

Oh, that's true. But then they know we're a band. Yeah, but I think that that's only a good idea if the attention's already drawn to us, and we need to be like, oh yeah, hi, we love attention. Bung, bong, bong, bach, click, click, click, clack, quack, quack, quack, boo, do. And then, however a deli would sing, you know what I mean? You can do literally whatever you want.

Relics. It would be a pretty good life. If we could travel from clearing to clearing making music, I, you know. I'd be really nice. Everybody loves musicians, and they get lots of free food. Oh, you know, it just, there's something about being on the road again, and just going places that I've never been, seeing things that I may never see again.

I can't wait to get on the road again. Are you sure you don't want to be the sing-up? I feel like Adelie's going to be great at it. I do. I just feel like you could write songs about things that aren't pot. Well, I just really feel like, you know, my fine love is making music with my friends. That's what we're doing right now.

So he's pretty good. You've just said, you don't play the instruments or sing. I don't, but I'm thinking about taking it up. There's something that's speaking to me. It's in my heart. There's music in my heart. This might have been a calling I never knew. Yeah.

Well, we should probably get going. Let's go. Yeah. Well, what was the name of Odd Group again? The Muckbet Jamboree. The Muckbet Jamboree. All right. Well, Floyd, Bielzebub, and the deli.

It was Everett. Oh, I'm sorry. Everett and the deli. Let's go. All right. I just kind of like tuck the jug like under my arm and like begin to like follow.

So I was caring whatever the fuck it is. I take up, I find a piece of cloth and I rip it and I make myself a really awesome head band with a star on the front. So we're doing this. So you see as you march your way into the clearing the newly formed

mug v. You start to see that See, that was my reference I'm glad you picked it up. I'm glad you picked it up. That was 100% what I was going for. We are the mixed mass pizza slices.

There seems to be a bit of franticness in the eerie soldiers. You see that this is, what kind of clearing is this? Can you remind me? No. It's eerie. Rabbit? Oh.

Let's check. Fox. Fox clearing. So you see that there's a bunch of... A bunch of swamp foxes walking around. Some are clothed in the eerie blue taverns. But it seems as if there is... The eerie soldiers are flying around and they're checking various perches.

And you see there's large warehouses that seem to be bare and empty. as you probably realize that the eerie that this clearing has been cut off from the entire supply line from Oax Hollow. And you see that there are, as you make your way deeper into this town, the river, Old Thomas River was splitting into the delta into all these various small streams and the swampy soil. You make your way to the actual town proper. and it doesn't take very long at all before you hear the flapping of wings as what seems to be a heron

swoops in a great blue heron finely dressed. Wait, is this one of those long-legged birds? Yes. A long-legged, long-net, long-billed heron-lawed. I don't know. I just love that they're on the license plates, those long-legged birds. wearing blue colors, but very finely dressed in a coat. He has kind of this, these gray and blue feathers all on either side as he lands immediately in front of you. Two guards either side as he lands and he surveys you.

Hi. Hello. How's it going? New refugees. Maybe that's one one for you. More like we prefer travelers, just traveling. Also refugee. From where?

And he pulls out a clipboard as he begins to fulfill. I need names. Oh, well, my name's crooky. From where? Oh, from Bucket Creek. Yeah, we just got run out because of the main old guine. I don't know if you heard, but there was a whore of. assassination of birds there and now those stinky cats have moved in.

There's hair rules everywhere. And they, you know, those stuffy old cats, they don't know how to have a good time. And when you're part of a band and we are, you need people who like to have a good time. And those stuffy old cats, they don't know how. Such a shame. But I'm sorry, I'm croaky. Everett. Floyd.

I'm punk Floyd. On my day. We're clearly not from around here. You were looking for supplies that came to the wrong place. Oh no, we was just looking for our place didn't have lots of cats in it. Yeah, or a bunch of quill boars

that are fucking in the forest. Neither here. Yeah, I know that we're avoiding those. We were just gonna take a sleep, I think, and passing through. Yeah, if that's all... You're not with the machete, are you? Oh, absolutely not.

No, no, no, we tried to escape. Do you know a single member of the Marquisade that likes a good time on music? How do you feel about freedom for the denizens? What do you mean? I don't care for it. I mean, what even really is freedom? Right. Does anybody have freedom?

I mean, freedom isn't free. Free will is just an illusion. Am I right? Freedom is a terrible burden that most cannot handle themselves. And we certainly wouldn't be members of any kind of wooden alliance if that was something that existed. Yeah, because, you know, they're aligned with those quill boys that are fucking all over the forest. I think it leads.

I don't know. And what's all your religious beliefs? Oh, well, that's a really personal question. You are in my clearing. Travelers, I believe in the great dog in the sky. It's dog religion, quaint. The music. Music is my religion.

my whole life to it. It just, it trenches every fiber of my being. Music of the soul is really what is the true beauty. The spirit is nothing but a musical note. Well said, Peggy. Well said.

Who is it? Oh, my goodness. I say, I meant I know, no, no, it was a slip of the, it's what I call my jug. Peggy, Peggy. I like to blow on Peggy. I like to blow a real good. I like to give her old, uh, who, who, who,

wu-woo. He likes to give Meggy the old tulips slip. That's it, this is, uh, this is Peggy, my, my rusty, rusty pep-oh, Peggy. Tricking a tuckegible. Fuck, I'm gonna give him the thing. I'm gonna give him the business. Damn.

12 as I, uh, uh, sometimes you tell on, on Peggy. He flips it. He flips his clipboard, and then it's actually a bullet in your book, and he slams it closed. And he says, I am the chief inspector of this clearing. I'm going to forget my face, and I will not forget yours. You know, okay, what's your name?

Kost Starfall. That's a mouthful. Wow. Did you say Kweefstaffour? Quiff's awful Stay safe Stay away from the shore of midnight Stay away from the shore of midnight

Oh, did he say his name was Waffles? I think Costas Starfall The show at midnight What happens at the show at midnight That is right The pug is the one with the listening comprehension He knows a lot of big words

Well we're all listeners Because we're musicians But you were saying something about a Starfall Or something That is my last name I thought you said it was waffles. We don't have last names. We're just filthy peasants with instruments.

I can see that. That's the most believable thing you've said this entire conversation. But with that, you are free to go. Stay away from the shore at midnight. On the shore at midnight. If anyone calls you beckoning the wayward souls, they know them. If you see a lizard beckoning, ignore them. All right.

What are they making it for? Duly noted. Yeah. Goodbye. And he turns and flies away with his, his solvers. That was so strange. I never thought that birds would be named after breakfast treats. I know, it's like a cruel trick.

Yeah. He's just got to hear his own name and it's just hungry and perpetually. I didn't catch any of that. Yeah, something. Whatzel, lots of, something fall up. Yeah, like, kettle of waffles. I had cost his starfall. What is what I heard?

Do you have something in your throne? No, he's just, that's his name. That's what he said. It's like you're caught fling. Do you think maybe you could write that down for us? Yeah. I mean, I guess I could. If you get that right on the first try,

Bucca's going to give you a coin. I didn't agree to that. Why do you always help him with his cons and you never help me with mine? Oh, very nice. Oh, Grumbly, you have lovely handwriting. Don't stop. Don't stop.

It's not what I think he said. Oh, Bravo. Romley, have you been working on your penmanship? Well, does, my friends. And you know, Hazel, I resent that because if it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't have been able to steal all of those birds' food that last time that we were in that place. When we almost got that butler fired. That was terrible

Well, he didn't get fine That's the terrible story That's true So anytime you need someone to help you steal a lot of food You always know you can count on me Just like anytime Booker knows that he needs to make some coin He can always count on it Yeah, exactly

I just get mad because you help him hurt me And I help you hurt other people But I want to hurt him sometimes I'm right when you just got to ask You gotta get up pretty early in the morning kid Yarks. That's not more speed. Maybe tomorrow.

It's always tomorrow. Tomorrow's always a new day. Now the con begins. You gotta say it when he's out of ear shots. You make your way to the sleepy clearing. The sleepy clearing of Drake Smith as there's a variety of huts. There's people on their porch,

keep an eye on you. creeks as far as you can see. People have fishing fishing rods with baited tackle. Others are rooting around in the muck looking for a little crawfish. And there's a number of buildings. And you see that probably the largest

of the, it seems to be a tavern. Like the large, there's a bit of a main street area that's across several bridges in this town pretty close to the shore. And it's as you arrive, you see that there's a large boardwalk all along this beach. And you see that the beach kind of makes its way, it kind of gives way to patches of rockiness

that once again turns to soft sand. As you see, the sea is right before you, stretching out in its glorious expanse as you arrive at the very edge of the dimwood. And you see that there is a relatively large tavern, at least for this clearing. You see a number of Erie soldiers are perched on either side of it. They seem to perched on all of the relevant mangrove trees that are sticking up out of the swamp.

And you see that it's called two old cats. And there's a variety of other. Wait, the inn is called two old cats. Fucking and Ruby. They'll give us one. I think it's a great idea. Hello. So you arrive.

You arrive into tool cats. Gross. And... How does it smell into? It smells like cheap old alcohol. And cat.

As you see out ahead, there is a very morose kind of somberness to this place. there are a number of patrons that are slumped over the bar or sitting at tables. You see that there's one female fox in a bonnet staring off the window off into the sea. And you see that she's staring off in the direction that there's actually a crudely built lighthouse of sorts

with a large torch in there as the sun is starting to set at this point. And you see that there's actually a place for a stage. with a picture of a large, is it a massive fish, but with rather than teeth, these long, strange, brush-like teeth, which would be probably a whale. I don't know if you would know what a whale is. I wouldn't.

Yeah, and you see the painting of this in a great sea escape, and you see one very old cat behind the bar as he looks at you and he has these thick spectacles. as he turned to says liar. Well, new customers. Oh, hello. How are you? You're not with him with lions folk, are you? We don't take radicals here.

We're just travelers. I've lived my whole old life here in this clearing, and I ain't getting myself to make something in no trouble. I mean, we don't mean anybody any harm, any trouble. We're just a traveling band of musicians, and we're just looking for a place to sleep. That's right. I frankly didn't expect a cat in this clearing.

Well, I lived here my whole life when the Marquis A took it a long time ago when I was a young man. Is there another old cat that's here too? Yeah, it's my brother. Just because I'm a cat doesn't mean that he is just going to kill me. They know my loyalty, which is why I'm not trying to get mixed up in any Marquis A business. We already, we met the chief inspector on a way in, and he let us, proceeding so you can bet your bottom dollar

that we are good people. What Hazel said? Hazel? Is that your name? I mean, Hazel is my is my, is my jug here. I love to just blow on Hazel. I just blow on our own day and all that.

See, doesn't Hazel sound beautiful? Listen, watch again as I blow on Hazel. We should give him a little show. Yeah, Adelie's Not singing. Click, click, click, click, click. Click, click. Click, click.

We need up on the dogs. I have to make any sense. Click, click, click, click, click. This has to be a role. This has to be trust fate. Whoever would like to roll. Trust fate. I have terrible.

I have plus one. I have two. I have two luck as well. You do it. You're a singer in Deli. You're a deli. That was terrible. For what it's worth, we've been traveling very far,

and we're a little rusty, and we're all very tired. Oh, not our best performance. My spoons are just a little out of tune, you see. That wasn't the best. It's a warm up. We would travel in all day long. Yeah. That's about what my old pursuit and player used to say.

The bassoon. He used to play the bassoon. Yeah, when he first started here, he used to be this old musician that would play. He would bring the people, well, twere much, but it would at least bring a little bit of warmth until he caught on fire and died. Oh.

What? I don't think he was playing it right. He caught on fire. Oh, I mean, the whole bassoon? Or just him? Oh! Wow! Yes.

Does that just... Only if you go. out, fishing in the wrong place at the wrong time, the sea's boiling hot. And you just kind of... Is that like an old man's tail? An old cat's tail?

Like we can't touch the water, we can't... Well, it was an old cat, an old man's tail until people's got catching on fire and dying. Like... Just to be... Like old whistle. I can't look at you on your face.

I don't mean to enter. I just want to be 100% please. Do you assume Bartok? So what you're saying is that you don't want us to bring you any trouble, but people are bursting into flames in this clearing. Oh, ain't that just the way? I think we've made a terrible mistake. Oh, eat long.

Two rooms, please. Oh, what? We do. Oh, one room. Oh, I don't want to burst of flames. We can't stay here. No, we're not. going to go fishing out in the ocean. I said don't touch that water.

We don't, we just don't go. We're not going to go anywhere near the water, especially not at midnight. We do need a... Oh, that's when old bassoon bar talk caught on fire and died. I know a song about Bartok. Oh, I was trying to write a song on his memory,

but I'm a terrible bassoon player. I don't have the ambassure. Stop me off, Grumley. Oh, the Bartok song. I don't know what you mean. Yes, you do. Maybe you just start playing a little bass line, man, Grumley. Oh, Bartok, Bob, Bob, Bob.

Oh, Bartok died. He was caught up. See, we're warming up. We're getting better. Trust me. We're getting better. Yeah, no, that was the whole song. Trust me.

Trust me, please. Yes. Yeah, no. He's good. It's good. He's good. 11. 13.

He leans down. He leans down. As you're playing, he leans down. He disappears behind the counter. And he pulls out of crossbow points at you. But I forgot to mount this up. Oh, my. Oh, I got to.

I might need to change my shorts. It's all right. best be getting out of my end is what I would say if I didn't have an ear from you to this conversation has just been that opposite downs I don't know what to expect this

and you see a single tier rolled down his old cat face graying fur he's just too old for a cat he's too old cat as a single tier goes down his cheek

got to change the back of bottom Oh, that's exactly right. Thank you, MJ Tags. Thank you. Good thing I packed X-Nus. That was a beautiful tribute. I can almost hear the bassoon when he gave old hazel a blow.

And boy, do you give old hazel a mighty fine blow, young man. That's right. She's a rotund one, but she does a good job. And I'm just paving inside the... You know... I used to know an old hair that would say, that sounds like my

ex-wife, but I'm a gentleman. Well, how about y'all, y'all real good? How about I'll give you free room and board if you'll play a spell every night for a couple hours. Oh, I...

Hours? I mean, in my own, yes, hours. Yeah. You don't have a full set? Oh, no, of course we do. Of course we do. Of course we do. Of course. And Deli has the

deepest high of anyone I've ever heard. They're very deep. They're like... She's got the deepest pipes. At least. Um, does this is a free drink come with that? I gotta keep, I gotta stay real moist if I'm gonna be blowing on Hazel.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. He looks at you and he says, that is disgustingly true. You need to wet your whistle. And he shuffles over and pulls a bottle a little, of old, like, grog. It's horrible to tell what it is. Well, that's mostly seawater, but you'll get used to it.

Megas can't be choosers, I suppose. Cheers, my friend, rations are real low in this clearing folk. Oh. There's, ever since, those backstabbing filthy no-good otters took over, took over Metbed Creek. Oh, dear. The supply line was cut. Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

That's awful. That's where we're from. We saw it all. No. What's your bad name? Do you tell me? I forget. Is the, um, the Mokbe jamboree?

That's a little, that's a little on the nose. Well, yeah. We wanted to make sure we weren't confused. Oh, our nose is an old Loughlin family saying for, that's great. Oh, that's good to know. What'd you say, Loplin? Loflin. I'm Jimmy Loughlin

I run this place with my brother Quincy Loughlin Quincy Loughlin I'm Jimmy But no, but you're buddy Quincy He's clucked

Quincy He might as strange If he had A different last name You never can tell Yeah Can never be too sure I always say

Well In this family In this clearing You don't survive Bein being a towel Like my family There's cats And drinks

doing what we can by changing your name. You know, we're not a licker of anything but Hazel. We're just hazel licking our way to know the variety. Well, feel free to get set up. Let me know what you need. I'm sure Quincy will be back from, he'll be back from fishing soon enough. Hopefully he doesn't get, oh, yeah, didn't you just like, hopefully he doesn't come bust into I?

Wait, he's pitching. Hey, he's fishing. Yeah, he's fishing. Yeah, that's true fish. He's a true fisherman at heart. He's also the lighthouse keeper. How long has he been fishing for? Since people have been bursting into flames. Since when we were young kittens.

Is he not worried that he's just going to be... Well, he don't play no bassoon. You think that's what caused him? I don't know. I don't know. I'm an old cat. Who's too old if he's thinking about how things work. Well, I suppose that if only bassoon players are bursting in the flames, then we're probably all safe.

Well, no, many folk are bursting in the flames. but they're going to they're going out on the on the lights on the reef at midnight in the middle of the night when they ain't supposed to when the proper authority is trying to keep them safe

oh I see I guess we warned about that so as long as we see it clear of whatever's going on on the short midnight then we should remain unsinged if you will

yeah uh well we've been a dollar up to our room and put all things away. What type is it? It's probably like five-ish. The sun is just setting at this point. It's autumn and spooked over.

You've heard the reports of the Vladpires. Tadpires. Fuck, the Tadpires. As the Pinkertons are going in from the Skinkertons. And as they, as it's late. I suppose we have to

maybe prepare for our set. Does it the room, everyone? That sounds like a good idea. We need a band hustle before we start off set. Can we address what Leifie said, which I think is very apropos? He said not the,

or no, it's LoneGuard. It's not the advertising Magpie thought of, but it's the advertising may need. You know, we do it, we can. Thank you, Magpie. Thank you, Magpie. I thank you, and I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you, bag by.

Well, everybody come along. Two room. And you too, Hazel, you're going to be worked tonight harder than you've ever been worked before in your life. He reaches out and pulls the cross the out. Oh, you forgot Mr. Smudge. Please stop pointing at that. It requires that. And he handed two rusty keys.

You look at their head in the ceiling. He had two rusty keys, and all the floorboards creep. They almost feel like waterlogs as you make your way up the stairs. There are two rooms. Very, very sparse, a tiny bed in each one. Not much else. I'm only not very picky, but this place kind of is terrible. I can't believe that we did it.

Even with Book of Fucking Up multiple times. At least twice, she's sure to do it again. I'll try not to. I don't know what happened. I just slipped my mind. I was really worried about people bursting in flames. Honestly, that was such a really, that was a really great way to avert their attention

is to just say that your jug is names Peggy and then Hazel and then eventually grumbling. Well, now the bit is out there. I can't do it now. Well, I'm sure you're fucked up again. Yeah, well, maybe in case you do fuck it up again, maybe you write all of our names on the bottom of the jug, and then when you say,

oh, yeah, it's the name of my job. and you can turn it over and hide the names of whichever ones you didn't say. And be like, look, it says right here, Grumling. I'll take it into consideration, for sure. Sure, you'll be blown on Grumley in no time. Right, right, right. I have no doubt, okay. You know, it's almost as if you're trying to set up comedy and rules of three,

and then it's almost as if no one else understands it. It's a shame. It's a shame. Perfectly good rule of three right out the window. Anyway, people burst it into flames. That's a thing. Yeah, but it's only the people that are going out on the water. Oh, no, we probably have to go out on the water, don't we?

Because I bet that's exactly where the artifact is. Oh, you probably right. Yeah, I know. I'm most definitely right. I'm the smartest frog in the whole damn dim wood. Do you think we're bursting the flames that we're completely nude? Like maybe, I'm just saying it could be up close. are offered that we should try to get.

Let's play until the night comes to a close. And before midnight, we're trying to go out to him. Oh, we have to play tonight. Oh, yeah, that's what we told him we do. Oh, shit, I thought we had to play tomorrow, and I was thinking about just skipping out of town. Now, he's giving us some free room tonight, so we've got to play tonight.

Yeah, I guess that's true. Just a couple hours. Okay, Booker, tell us what we're going to do tonight. You'll be there with this great. That's certainly not true. Yeah, I know, but I'm trying to make you feel like you'll be. lot of two groups. Yeah, all right.

Well, we're going to play. And then I would like to stay away from whatever there's going on at the edge of the river, but what I think we can do that. I have a feeling that this one old cat's going to lose the second old cat. And there's just something about the way he was wielding that crossbow.

And the way he talked about the cat being out on the water that just felt like his imminent death. Well, he did say he was the lighthouse keeper. So maybe we can take a look from the lighthouse, what's going on? I mean, I think that we probably could because I guess that he's so old, he can't see what's going on out on the water.

I think that's probably true. Or maybe he's never bothered him. But I'm concerned because I can't blink. So if I'm out on the water and the wind's really strong and then I'm getting salt air in my eyes, do you think that I'm going to lose my sight? I just saw you blink. I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know. I need to just like, um... I don't know. I have some glim. What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? What's happening?

Oh, you just blinked again! I didn't blink. I can't blink. I don't have eyelids. Do you have eye drops at least? Where are eyedrops? Can't you just like your own eye? Saline solution, but I don't know if that'll do me well when I'm

near so much salt water. Well, ocean water could just work as sailing solution. No, the two different things. Either way, we should get ready for a set. And once it becomes night time, maybe we can meet this other guy, Quincy. Oh, you need another one cat. Did he even say if Quincy comes back if he stays out on the lighthouse all

this time? He said he'd be back soon. Oh, oh. Oh. you know, and leave it for this thing, and we can just kind of see us all way through it

and then get to the end. Before we do this, though, if we're going to be playing for Ramos, we have to have a set list. And I only made up that one song. And my song was terrible. Do you want to play the clams? I think I should.

I'm going, all right, here's the clams. Here's the same. I think you were busy, but we hazed on our saying a classic from your cat-in-planted. Oh, Facy Trees. And maybe we can use that in the set list. All right, let's do it so that we could,

that we'll end the set with old Facy Trey? We could just play it on repeat for three hours. You know, if there aren't anyone in here and that daft old cats there, he probably wouldn't even notice. What are they going to do, complain? And then to buckle up. Here comes old Facy Tree for three hours.

We held up all right in the bargain, and that's all that really matters. Maybe if we really want to. to play to what audience we should play Freebird. How's it go? No, I don't know. I'm as free as a

eerie bird and then I'm gonna walk him to a do we have time to learn that? Can I learn that before we I know how to play an instrument I know. Did you just blow in an instrument?

Oh, and you know we can always we could But, Gage, because they'll kill you violently. Yeah. That might go overwhelming. On top of that, if the crowd's really getting crazy, we can play tequila. Oh, yeah. Well, off the way, Peggy, often do you clever enough just to wing it.

Oh, I could write a song called Wing It. Oh, that wasn't even intentional, but maybe that song like song. But maybe that's a joke. Yeah. Yeah. A video. Population. All the brain.

Oh, I could write us. So what is old facie tree or whatever? It's old facie tree. What is the... Facy tree, oh, Fancy tree. Of great the risk. Something that these don't kill us. Oh, yes.

It's just something. We kind of made up the woods. Yeah. Yeah, music comes from your heart. I hummed along and I kind of tap my foot a little bit. Well, we could write a song called Facy's Mom has got it going on and it could be about the tree that birthed old facie trees. Oh, that's nice.

I'm just going to play me one note. I'll be doing the same. It's about all I got. So then what's the plan outside of that? So we're going to play for a couple of hours? Then we're just going to go to sleep? Or we're going to go down to the water? We're going to invest.

We should take a look and see what the fire is on the reef are? It's crazy. So then what are we going to do with one of us or all of us worse than to flame a naturally? Well, it's not going to happen. I think that we should do that. But I mean, we do have to go down there. I think we know what's...

So I think we know what's... I think the thing that confuses me so much is if they're bursting in the flame right next to water, why aren't they just jumping into the water? I'll bet you. Well, I think I know, but I don't want to say it because I'll think usually I'm wrong and then I'll get left. If you're right in this case, then there will be a lot of problems if you don't tell. Yeah, if you have information, you might know. You should share with.

Yeah. I mean, think about all the different things that we've done. and like the trees were not like normal trees and they were mean and violent because it was, what we were looking for was in them so maybe the water's just mean and burly because there's a relic in the water

or near the water. That's why it's lighten people on fire and going against its nature. So when they jump into the water, it doesn't help because the water is made of fire. Well, the just stag king guy is all about fire So maybe... Oh, my God, you're so right.

They did say the ocean is boiling, too. So we're going to have... So essentially, we are all going to have to get caught on fine and run into the water and hope that we've survived it. But we've got all these always... We have the Vienna. Uh, yeah, we do. I don't want to have one again.

Oh, we can pull a Moses on this bitch, and we can just pot the red seeds quite literally because they're fiery red waters. I remember the tale of Moses. He led his people. Yeah, Moly. Moses. He dug your tunnels through.

The water. It was such a long journey. Yeah, Moses. You went blind. Yeah. And that's why all the moles are blind now. That's a great story. Yeah, and he had those 10 caratments.

And it was all the rules that rats have to live by because fuck rats. Weird. I'm just telling you how Moses, where? Well, other way, I think we should play a set, and often we should maybe meet Quincy and go to the lighthouse and take a look from the lighthouse, from the safety of the lighthouse. So how are we going to get out to the lighthouse without getting into the fire water, which is going to burn a smithering? How the hell, if the water's on fire, how is this one old cat even getting out to the lighthouse? Yeah, well, if it's just on like on a cape, like right on the edge of the water. Oh, it's not?

Sometimes it is, but not always. I'm hoping it's not. I would like to not go anywhere near the water. Agree. You take a look at your window and you see the lighthouse. No, no, no. We've got this. You see where the house is...

You keep your information to yourself. Probably about three stories tall as far as the buildings. And it is of this crudely constructed white stone all the way up with a glass dome and a beacon, a light a torch that seems to spin around. And you see that

it is out on a small island several hundred meters off the coast. I knew it wasn't attached to the mainland. What's the fucking points? Well, this complicates her. Maybe we just go down on the shore

and try to like hide. Maybe you guys can dig like you've been wanting to dig with your clams and your hands and I can try to help let's just play our set and then we can figure it out okay

sure I'm ready whenever you're ready I take my stand up whatever jugger base or not a jugger base a wash basin base and dish wash bastin and I take it down the stairs

okay you all make your way down and you see that there are a few more people, some crusty fishermen, mostly foxes. You see a number of birds, a couple seagulls, you know, an errant, and a couple of shore birds and the like. And you see that they're mostly just staring into their drink, and you begin to play.

Are there any classic hits you'd like to play before we end up with tequila? And then we play the, we have to play the Bartok song again. We're going to play a bad rendition of O-Facey Trey. We'll play Free Bird, and then we'll play a song called Wing It. And then lastly, we sing Who Let the Pugs Out? And there's a bark solo by... It's a very eclected mix of music. Somewhere in there, we sing Bird is the Word.

The word is wonderful. You like jazz. You begin to play Like, no stairway! You hear someone Oh, Sean. It's crumly begins to play that. And you go out and then kind of towards the end,

you hear an old voice call out. As, you hear the voice of Jimmy. You're fired! As I roast these peppers, you're fired. You know, I'm going to be honest, I should have seen that one come. But yet again, I just didn't. I don't know how. Every time he just gets me.

It's amazing, truly. And so you finish your set, and it's getting... And then we end with Jeepers, peepers, and it's about a mouse with big eyes. Oh, okay, got it. And the spurious spooktover. An undead mouse. An undead mouse.

I think we should have catered a little to the fox clientele. Okay, so we play a what does that... Yeah, we hate... We hate five. We hate mice. They would be on dead abominations. And then we end with, what does the fox say? Oh, and you hear excited cheers that was like, I don't know.

How's your morning? No, it's not. You need some cultural enrich. As you begin to, you finish. It's that, but actually it's pretty. You finish your set. And. I forgot about that.

you finish your set and the crowd is mildly entertained you hear some some polite applause you get some enthusiastic applause but it's mostly just drunk sailors pardon me

towards the end the rain has started to pick up and you hear the booming of thunder as the wind starts to howl and towards the end of your set you're kind of wrapping up you're putting away your instruments and the doors flies open with the wind you hit howling of wind the pattering of footsteps as you see a hooded figure in these long robe almost completely drenched as it steps in you see webbed feet and feathers poking out from beneath the long bill as you see a pelican pull back the hood and he says I, I do fish ain't biting today.

As he walks over to the bar, and you see Jimmy say, Oh, well, Quincy, do you catch anything? My question wasn't so stupid now, was it? That's not even a cat, let alone an old cat. We're not playing anymore? No, you're not. I immediately start playing again, and I start playing potatoes and molasses. If you want some, oh, dude.

And you play that, and you see the pelican, he also looks very old as he turns and he says, Oh, you find replacement for the pursuit of barbarian as he pours a drink down into his bill and swallows it. As I said, yeah, no, they're pretty good. They're terribly great. I, they just drive me to kill I don't know he talked himself into a corner on that one there's no coming back from that one

he said what he meant this time he's gonna off himself because our music was so bad he's like that in video I'm gonna kill I've got nowhere to go and you see you see the eyes kind of look

over you of the old pelican as he he looks, and he turns in and leans in and whispers something to to Jimmy. And you're finishing your set. What do you do? Thank you, thank you, thank you. We'll be here for the rest of the week. Can I bow?

It's Roy with a jamboree. Yep, you can find us not in muckbed, but you can find us here. Muckabre. Do me know what time it is. roughly. Uh, it's probably... Probably ten. We've got some time to kill, I suppose. Um, we can, uh...

Should we talk to him? I really was expecting him to be a cat. Couldn't hurt. We should introduce... We should introduce ourselves. That's a great idea. And you, you're owed that free drink. Oh, uh, sure.

That sounds like a great idea. We'll do that. Uh, I'm so sorry to bother you, uh, gentlemen. Um, we just came to, uh, get to our free drink for the evening. Uh, after finishing up our set, and we wanted to meet your brother, Quincy. Oh, this is my brother, Quincy. I told you all about him.

And you see the fella can turn. And there's, like, you're, like, jabbing, strong, any musicians, okay? Yeah, we overheard you, you're talking to him, and we just assumed. Anyway, we didn't want to interrupt, but we figured we introduced ourselves and then, thank you for the host Rencloth.

Thank you. Thanks, Renck. Learn a bit more about what, you do uh for a living uh mr quincy sir i'm fish and i fish and when the fish ain't bite and i intend to light out it's not hard for me to get back and forth simple life but my brother and i do what are you not scared of the water i am not afraid of the water why would i be i'm a cat what i'm a cat i'm a cat i'm a cat and the kids are not afraid of the water oh um well i mean Yeah, didn't you hear him? He's a cat. I mean, what I meant to say was that your brother said that people were going near the water and bursting into flames. I mean, that sounds horrifying.

Are you not scared of that? I didn't mean the water itself. Well, the water itself, if that's the cause, I'm trying here. I'm confused. There be those burst into flames abundantly, but I have faith that I will not be harmed by the fire. They're not true sailors. there do not have faith in themselves. Faith?

What religion do you practice? I know that's kind of rude, but we were asked when we first got here, so I thought that was how this town worked. He looks at you and says, Oh, what is the fishermen worship? Sea, rivers, fish. I say prayer to all of it, the lady of the sea. She's a great cat.

The great wet pussy. The great wet pussy, you said. Sorry, Max. That's a religion here. Well, I mean, it's a religion other places too, but here I'm just surprised. So, boom, we're a certain, yes, yes, yes. Wow, you learn something new every day.

That's the beauty of traveling to lots of different lyrics. I got a new song for me. The chambery. We'll save it. Well, anyway. Um, so how do you get to your lighthouse? It's all the way across the ocean.

Oh, well, I fly if the wind ain't too bad. I've got a rowboat otherwise. Oh, is it just like parked out there, you know? Oh, none of the dogs, yes. Are you looking for fishing? I mean, maybe. I'm looking to a princess. I mean, we just, we really don't want to burst into flames.

You know, cats are a great fisherman. Of course. I could teach you a thing or two. Could you teach us something tonight? About midnight, maybe. How long have you been a cat? One of the whole life. That's interesting.

Yeah. I want to make eye contact with, with Jimmy, and see, like, Can I figure him out? Yeah. Which one? Jimmy or Quincy? Okay. Ten.

So how does that word? Oh. It's asked some questions. So three questions. Is this character telling the truth? About what? About his feeling that Quincy is truly a K. So you're figuring out Quincy or Jimmy?

No, Jimmy. Jimmy? Yeah. Jimmy seems to be, I'll say it seems to be understood that they are brothers and potentially maybe he was joined his family at a young age, but they are brothers and he feels like he is a cat honorary or otherwise. Okay, so it's not like he is going. I'm trying to figure out if he's like going along with the crazy or if he is also crazy and actually thinks that he's a cat. I don't get, I think that it's just more of like it could potentially be an honorary thing. The two old guys is a little, a little sticky.

It's on the fence. It's on the fence. What are your other questions? Yeah, you get more. I'll hold them. I'll hold them. Okay. But they have to be directed to Jimmy if you decide.

Yeah. Yeah, no, there's no one better in fishing than Jimmy. If you're looking to go out on to the sea, I mean, I think I'm not sure the ear you would like, like any of you knew. To be heading out, it's very dangerous The leader it gets. No, they didn't mention that. Have you, do you know about, like, the lizard people that live down that way?

Oh, they're lizards, they're sheds, more of a wide stale. Oh, it is? I think it's all overblown. Well, what is? They just kind of said that there's lizards and not to talk to them. Something about weird with souls.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that, too. And then they would call you towards the water, and then now people are bursting in the flames. Yeah, we're hearing a lot of things. We just want to stay safe. And you see that... We also want to go from the nighttime swim.

Quincy, Quincy looms in and looks and says, there's safety in the words. Shaped me in the gardens. Like a literal garden, like a real plot of land. Hey, too, soon. This podcast is brought to you by our Patreon. Become a patron today at patreon.com slash legends of avantress and gain access to tons of exclusive perks,

including a monthly movie night and a weekly Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas, shroud over salt marsh. You can also go to the crooked moon.com to pick up your own copy of our first published supplement. The Crooked Moon, a folk-chlorer tome for Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition. And don't forget to snag all of the extra goodies like dice, miniatures, plushies, a tarot deck, and more. Thank you. All right, so, I mean, you'll keep us safe out and the water if you teach us how to fish.

And maybe teach us those words, same words, except. We like to learn stuff and things. Yeah, and what's this thing? Because, you know, like a garden can't really be spending all of its time near the ocean, because then what happens is like the time comes in and the water gets into the garden and all the plants die, which is completely the opposite of what you want for an actual garden. So I don't really know what you mean by garden and also go down by the water. Also, do you know what type of cat you are?

An old cat. Yeah, too old cat. Yep. But anyway, that thing about the garden. And the words, the safety in words. Same new words, if you have trust in the sea, in the garden. All wayward souls are meant a welcome. Where do you come from, friends?

It's right in the band name, Muckbed Creek. Yeah. With the Muckbed Jamboree. Do you have much family down in Mugbed? I'm not. Nope, all dead. All of them are dead. They're dead.

We're all just a bunch of orphaned band dead. Yeah, no. See, my family doesn't come from Muckbed Creek because I'm a frog. You see? They're all dead too. Dead. Oh, they're not dead. Oh, well, my family's dead.

They're dead to me, but they're not dead. Oh, aren't you can teach you fishing? Hey, hey. Oh. You're nice. Hi. Take you out in your own boat. Oh, yeah.

Should we leave now? Let's go. If you can handle the sea. Oh, I've been on. Absolutely. I've only just seen the ocean today for the first time, but I'm sure we can handle be sailing. So.

Fishing. To be clear, if we touch the ocean, we're going to do the fire. Yeah, can we set some ground rules here? I'm with Hazel. So, Hazel, my jug, Hazel. I just don't want to lose her to the ocean. What's your name? She's a cruel mistress.

The name's a deli. Yeah. That's a deli. Hazel's the jug. My instrument, my jug. Go ahead, blow on her. Blowing the hazel. See, lovely sound.

I don't want the sea to take her from me. How do you believe that? I haven't even noticed anything. Just the one. It sounds like a foghorn. A little bit? All right. We thought about calling our band the foghorn frog legs, but it wasn't a good band name.

We went through it to film, a few different names. Anyway. Experimental phase, I was in a band, and I was a young cat. Oh, what did you play? I played the bassoon. Did you catch on fire? No, that was very. Barry?

Wait, there's more than one bassoon plan That's what I call old Bartag Oh, very Oh, I wrote a song about Bartag Oh, I would have any much like to hear him Yeah, well, tomorrow then We have a set tomorrow Which is what she means

So you have to come and watch Well, uh, exactly So about these words Again, uh, he's Trusting the sea, the faith, the garden Trusting the sea, lads Let's go Oh, God, right there.

Okay. Of course, sir, Captain. Should I not touch the water? Tirsten me. That's answering my question. Just do what he says. Leave it away, Captain. Waterpark feel for melted.

I-I-Y, Captain. It smells so salty. Let's go. All right. I'll just follow. We're far burst into flames. It's your fault. As the, as you make your way down,

the rain is pelting you. And you make your way down through the streets to the dock. And you see that there is a little dingy that is tied up and it's clacking against the side of the pilings as he all, he holds it steady as you all pile in. And he looks at you says, any of you can rule? I can row. I've got enough strength. I've probably row once or twice in my life. In my life? Oh, I don't know if I trust that. I don't know if I trust that. Why would you cleanse your use of mine? Just for the proper accent, you see.

She's worn out of character thing. You sure you're a dog? No, he's not a dog, it's a puck. I'm a cat, so I don't care for dogs. Well, I'm a dog and I'm very much respect cats. Oh. I like the water. Okay, Roe Grimley.

I will tempt you row. So you tell him to row. and as you heave is he... I'm gonna, can... Well, have we touched the water? I'm gonna touch the water. Okay. You touch the water and it feels like cold ocean.

Cool. I'm gonna get into the water behind the boat and I'm gonna kick my frog legs and help propel it. Okay, so you do that and it turns, basically turn into like a little motorboat. As you go, brr-hr, and you start to propel the boat a little bit more. And you make your way out. you see the spinning of the lighthouse,

that the beacon of almost like a basically a massive lantern that seems to be spinning around with the work of some strange mechanism that's spinning around and around as you're making your way out. And you make your way getting a little bit closer to the lighthouse as the ocean is rocking and rolling. as he hands each of you a fishing rod a bucket of tackle. He hands you each like a tiny little minnow.

And he spends about an hour, about an hour teaching you how to best cast a line. He actually has a net to, and he shows you how to heed in, attempting to heed in whatever fish you can. A very, very, very few fish in this hour actually bite. But the entire time, his eye keeps darting up to the lighthouse and towards a spot in the ocean. Same spot in the ocean.

That you can't quite discern where it is, unless you decided to do something. Probably nothing. I choose the weapons skill murder. You are an intimate range with him. No, I'm just going to continue to fish. I don't really love to fish, to be honest. Well, I've never really done it before, but, you know, other than, this is interesting. I like learning new things.

Um. Well, you take them, take it fine to it. You'll get one. That's why they call it fishing and not guessing. Oh, that's clever. That's very clever. I'm going to say, can I go up in the lighthouse? I've never seen one before.

You never seen a lighthouse before? No. No. To be fair, I haven't even seen the ocean until today. No. It's just like a really big lake, I guess, but bigger. It's like it goes on forever. Yeah, it's what the biggest like.

You mean, well, totally, I've been the only one being up that lighthouse for years. Well, they knew. It's treasurer, especially those that ain't got wings. You don't go stairs in it? I do. I am sure. How do you get up there? Cats don't have wings.

I'm a cat with wings. That's a thing. Obviously, Peggy, he's a cat with wings. Yeah. No for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. I'm going to slip down, catch a fish, and throw it in the boat. Oh, that kind of skips, points the A through B. Yeah, that's why I call it catchin, not fishing. I just continue to do my things. If only I, if only I has a cat had the ability to do that. And knowing that a pelican would definitely be able to dive in and grab a fish, but he is not able to do that.

He's a cat with wings. He's a cat with wings. As he begins to, as he begins to, as he begins to row a little bit more, and he looks at you and says, what do you want to be looking up at the lighthouse for? There's a little bird. I just want to see it and, like, see what it looks like here, but from there.

Get a better look at the whole ocean. Yeah, you know how you sit here? We're a musician. You know how when you look over it, the greatest fans of the world, you're inspired from your songs. It sparks. It ignites the music in your soul. Well, we're a musician. So being up there and looking out over the vast expanse of the ocean would really help to kindle that, the creative juices inside of us, you know?

The muse, as they say. I was thinking I'd write a song. song called The Catlican in the Lighthouse. He looks at all of you. And who always makes to make a persuade an NPC role may do that? Me?

I'm bad. I'm really... I'm really bad. No, Paisal was. Isn't that that's charm, right? Booker said something. I'm happy to help, but I was not the one making the argument. Oh, three.

Hmm. With that, he, uh, he stopped. And he says, he looks at all you. He got no family. Awks, family. Ain't with the Marquis eight. Ain't with the eerie.

What do you believe is a natural state of the forest of the dim wood? Mean. You care. My nature. For what it's worth, I haven't even seen the whole dim wood. How can I make a decision like that? make a decision like that until I've seen it up. Exactly.

I've just enjoyed it for what it is, everywhere we've gone. I've been able to find the wonder in each of the clearings. There's lovely things everywhere. That's true. Clearing to clearing. Playing your instruments. Your wayward souls. Wayward's one way to put it.

Wonder lust is another. You know, there's a lot to see out there. Depends how you define it. I'd say we have a way. purpose? Playing music with our friends. I have friends too. Yeah, that's good.

Would you like to meet them? Yeah. Well, I... I don't see why not. You seem like a very fine gentleman and we'd love to meet more of your friends. Who are your friends?

My friends are people who enjoy each other's company. Enjoy the natural state. That sounds nice. They're not like nudists. They welcome all the way with so looking. What's your problem with nudists? Sometimes you just need to get naked when you're angry. What angry? We would very much like to meet them. We'll come back to that. You promise to meet them and you won't embarrass me in front of my friends. Thank goodness none of you are birds. They hate birds.

Noted. Very duly noted. No, no birds here. Just us. Okay. Me and my frog legs. To the lighthouse there. Oh, so you weren't going to take us to the lighthouse. See, your friends are up in the lighthouse?

Not quite. Yeah, all right, let's go. I'm not worried about it. There's something incredibly ominous about this. It makes me feel really comfortable in this dark night on this boat in the middle of a bath. The sea rocks the boat and this pelts are. I'm not sure we have much choice. Just do what he says. That's what I'm saying.

I'm totally feeling fine with this. It's not even I start vomiting. I was nervous. Sorry, I'm seasick. As he begins to row, and you see the lighthouse looming above you, as the beacon spins around and around. As you see, there's a tiny little dock going out.

It's on the jagged rock. It's almost just a handful of planks, and he manages to dock, and guide you onto the slippery rock. It's a little difficult for those you not accustomed to the water. As, pardon me, as he leads you up, this small pathway up to the small door. And you see this small door is flying back and forth on his hinges. As it's flapping, it's clattering.

And you see that this is probably not even used. You look up and you see that there's a little perch. on the top of this lighthouse. As, I'm shocked, but still on the hinges there. And he pulls it open. And it is picked black inside. You see the occasional flash of light

as the rotation spins around to a certain part that illuminates a bit into this chamber. What do you do? Does he open the door for us? Or is he held the door open? as he basically caught the door. Oh. So there's stairs going up?

It's dark. Oh, it's just dark. And it's very easy, a little bit of light kind of going into the top of this room. Well, I would say that you've been very nice to us. And then if your friends are half as nice as you are, then we've got nothing to worry about, right? I guess that's true. I'm going to head in now, a friend.

Just watch my back. And I'll, we'll wait for you inside. Not that there's anything to watch out for, of course, let's go. And I'm just going to step in. While we're stepping in, can I just sniff around to see, what do I smell? Do I smell anything weird that I wouldn't expect? Read a tense situation for me. I'm going to say this is, I wouldn't say that.

This is definitely a tense situation like it. Uh, what is it? Cunning. Cunning. Uh, eight. Eight. So I can ask one. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. Who or what is the biggest threat? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, Mike. You, this is the rules of the game. This is what's fun about this.

You get the sense that Quincy is absolutely a threat. But whoever his friends are, are definitely a bigger friend. Oh. Well, I'm in the darkness. I got to pee. As you sniff around, and I'll say you'll get a little bit of flavor kernels with, you'll get a little bit of a kernel with that. As you smell a dusty old lighthouse, whatever internal parts of this lighthouse have been able to be in shield from the battering waves and wind, seems to be old and decay. It is the scent of mildew.

You smell rotting fish. As you look up above, you see skeletons of fish and shellfish all around. seems to have been scattered about. There seems to be a little nested area built out where Quincy probably stays maybe one evening a week. Who knows? Doesn't seem to be super-lived in. But something is catching your set.

As you go into the room, towards the back end, you see the lightning crash and it illuminates the room a little bit. It's a very bare entryway. There's simply just a chest with fishing rods, tackles, some nets. And towards that area, you smell something, it smells like plants, flowers. It seems very strange and odd and contrast to the smell of the sea and the salt and the fish that you're experiencing. And that is what you, whatever you do with that information,

you may do. Well, for now, I think I'll just follow Booker into the darkness, and await further orders. Okay. So, he guides you in,

and he steps forward. And as he looks at all of you, he, uh, he says, you wanted to see the lighthouse, you are you souls.

Looking for answers to questions that bother Esau. You come here, not ally to any of the powers. My friends and I have a true power. And you all are the proper fuse. All right, where are your friends then? Wait, the proper fit? Fit. In the Black Reef.

Out on the sea. Can we see it if we go up there? You can see it at the right side. But you ain't going to see it from there. You're going to meet them. And he walks over to the large cabinet, and he takes his way in and he pulls it back. And you hear the scratching and scraping of wood on stone as a small stone passageway. is exposed in this lighthouse

and it goes down deep into this rock the smell hits you all of you at this point it smells like rich pollen and flowers and greenery

that is that's blasting from this this passage where is his lead where's this going this is I'm expected what is a smell like that

doesn't smell salty like the rest of everything This is the garden of the sea dragon, the great god that shepherds all the wayward souls. Is that why I smell plants? Aye. And it's down there. Aye. Is it safe?

If you truly believe... Believe what? You believe in the power of the sea, the power of the tree. The power of nature, the great sea dragon. Safety in the words, remember. Safety in the words. You don't have alliance to any folk. The power-hungry folk, or those in lurk in the shadows attempting to restore balance.

But it is simply the balance of their own selfishness. Balance of nature, that is what matters. We wish to go. Yes. I'm a little nervous. Their illusioned and failed, and the fire took them. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yes, we still want to go.

Sure. And he, he beckons away. I cannot enter. I am merely the guide. That's what sweet, right? A cat with wings can still not pass, to the garden. I'll tell you how it is.

I'll be described it before you once you get back. It's, hey, that's be a torture worse than death. But I believe. No time like the present, then. It's scoward. All right. Once we walk down and we feel like we're out of ear shut,

I'm going to very quietly whispered. If I didn't, nobody would be in earshot? Oh, but I have to see. That's where the fire is coming from. The last relic. Not. That's the only reason that that creepy pellicat that allowed him to let us down here.

It's not like I'm willingly going to whatever trial he wants us to do. We've got to play along, though. Yeah, I'm not, I'm going to be honest. The only reason I even said yes in the first place, I felt like it was too far into back out. I don't want him to go crazy and then... He seemed really creepy there all of a sudden. Right when you're on the edge is never a reason to pull out.

That's right. the point of now return. Yeah. You just have to propel yourself forward into the dark dank cabin. There's nothing that's going to stop it at that point. No. And you continue down

you. You continue downward as as this as the wetness and the daintness of this passage gets it's more and more moist as you thrust down into

this tunnel, this stairwell deeper and deeper into this rock that seems to go then level out and you hear the roaring and crashing ocean all above you. It's incredibly dark. But as you see, you make your way through, it feels like the structure of the stone changes as you pass. And as you make your way through, you reach a point where there's a massive stone slabs, very similar architecture that you remember. You saw it on top of the waterfall in the forest, in the swamp, and you make your way through as you begin to,

you begin to see shapes along either side of you. as see that these are covered in in in rye and also in barnacles in sea skull as it drips in from the ocean above you

as you see bits of pieces of humanoid critter shapes some you see a bit of armor tiny little bit of wood and that seems to be an antler but one thing seems to be

consistent is flame and fire and you see bits of tree and sort of like carved in it's kind of the basterleaf style the same style that you've seen across the board

as you continue and you make your way and you see that there are stairs going up and there's a strange glowing light and it's in orange light as that orange light seems to be incredibly familiar as it glows up top

The smell of pollen, of greenery hits your nostrils, and you actually see bits of fronds, grass, up through this small passage up ahead leaning ahead. What do you do? Be ready to pull the derelix out? I know, just don't know. No, do we have them? Not, yeah, everyone play our cards too early here.

Just keep them on hand, but don't, let's not reveal anything too quickly. Have we heard anybody, like, moving around or anything? like any noise. You hear the thrashing of the sea all around in the chamber and it is almost concoffiness and that's what you hear. I really don't want to burst in flames. If we need to, we can kill. It's very fine, look of you, but I appreciate that seem to me.

I feel safer now. Yes, I have threatened to kill it either. Yes. First thing in the flames be terrible. But the thing is my workshop is difficult to reach but defended. And if I die here, then who's going to look after it? I mean, it is difficult to reach. But it is poor. Well, we're not going to die here. I mean, that's it. That's the bottom line. What about your good friend Hamilton? Hamletote is so busy being in the letters that he writes

that I just don't think he would have the time. You gave me the shelter, Mike? Yeah. And Sleiza is so obsessed with Hamilton. I don't think she would ever think to look. And recently, Angela Croke is married and she just moved off to another one of the clearings with their super rich husband that's going to give her a great life. So they're not even going to worry about it.

They won't even look here and check in. No. That's very self-sage. And Peggy, here I am, just all by myself having to look at my poorly defended and difficult to reach workshop. And you all

have an odd effect, right? So if something happens, you can pull off whatever and you have your banner and you have your crown and I'm standing here naked and I don't have anything to protect me from the fire. You've got us. Well, all of the artifacts have protected all of us every time we've used them. It's true. Until this time. Take this. This will keep you safe.

What are you handing me because your hands are emptied? I'm pulling the ambulance out of my family. What is it? And I passed you be big, blazing heart amulet. No, it's fine. You keep it. My job has been to get us here. I just want you to promise me that though it is difficult to reach and it is poorly defended,

should I perish this day, then it will no longer be Peggy's workshop, but it will be the garage for the band. Oh, that sounds really nice. I did leave love it half my liquor there anyway. Well, that was technically my liquor there anyway. Well, that was technically my liquor that you took, put into your containers, told me it was your liquor, and then asked me to refill my vat to make more liquor. That's not true. It is. But it's fine.

We'll get back there. Don't you worry. We're not dying here. You understand? All of you. No, you're not done. I haven't found my bumbleberry pie yet. You'll find it one day.

all right steal yourselves onward before we go in does anybody want this room this clavstrip roping oh yes very much that is at least almost 24

oh god it's like 40s it got enough salt on a boat but I think the salt does something nice very good I'm gonna have to clean up your vomit later we should have gone to his deli

on 42nd Street I totally forgot Yikes. That's going to be a yikes for me, dog. On wood. And I started marching forward down the path towards the glowing ember. You march, you make your way in these ruined steps rise up, and suddenly you emerge all of you into a beautiful botany, a greenhouse almost, it seems, of ancient craft that seems to be in a strange dome with large arcing pillars and supports rising up and you see that there is a circular um a circular uh hole in the ceiling with a dome over it and you see to see splashing over it as the moon is rising up and you see that there's bits of black reef all peeking around on all around this this this this this

moonlight. And as you emerge, the descent that you've been smelling this whole time is almost overwhelming as it feels incredibly natural. Like this is the most lush verdant garden that you've seen. There are no trees to speak of, but beautiful flowers of every color, vibrant, ranging vines, huge bushes and shrubberies, as far as you can see, strange exotic, Looking like they're from far off lands even. And at the center of this, there is a... Something at the center that's glowing and it's orange. And it is a wooden effigy.

Seems to be made out of wood and wicker, all tied together in the shape of a large, almost reptilian form, almost snake-like, slugly. with a large fin and its mouth is open and within it is glowing this glowing, an ominous orangey light that is similar to what you've been seeing. But it's all contained within this large effigy. And as your eyes are drawn to it, suddenly you realize once again for the second time in this adventure that you're all surrounded. figures stepping out all with knives. Wow.

And each of them with a torch. As they step forward several paces. And you can see that one steps out from behind the statue. A bit of a longer snout. Green scales. Sharp teeth. Pulls a head bat, his hood back. And you see clearly a lizard.

face. Your eyes dart around. And you see mostly lizards, but you see a number of foxes, mice, rabbits. You see a couple of other creatures. Eight birds? Not a single bird, do you see? And you see that there is, however, a slab before this dragon. It is low. And seeming of a different pull from part, not an original part of the structure that pulled in front of this effigy of a sea dragon and it is bloody

with feathers all on as holy shit as the lizard who pulls back his hood with this strange glowing torch of the wood is almost this dark black

and he says welcome to the garden you have been brought by our messenger. Do you wish to join us or do you wish to die? Well, we certainly don't want to die. There's no need for the knives and threatening behavior. We're not here to die.

And we're certainly not birds. That's true. We're not birds. Um, your messenger was quite old, as I'm sure you know. And the bird, he was the pelican. Um, yes, I guess, I don't know. confusing. His faith is strong, and if you believe, you can overcome what you were bored as. And you feel that there's a sickness.

He sickened in even thinking about this pelican being heard. Well, it's just that he didn't tell us very much about you. He just said that we would be a good fit. Yes. And it sent us on our way. That's right. You're looking for whitewood souls? Yes.

You are all seeming to be wayward souls. I can see if in your eyes, lost, traveling the dim wood without a purpose, do you wish to seek any greater purpose than your own whim? There is a light for the lost and the meek. What kind of light? What kind of purpose? The fire of the sea dragon. I'm just going to go ahead and ask it.

What's a sea dragon? Zyrag. Zyrag. Is that, it's name? Is he related to shit rag? The dragon. I have not heard of the shit dragon. It's from the shaman forest.

It's populated by bears. Mainly three bears. Maybe, mainly three. Just three. Just three. Holy shit. I'm. What's your name? Friend.

My name is Zanras. Welcome to the garden. And I wish you all to join us. We, the time is nigh. I have seen in the fire that there are disturbances. In the treasures of the old, the time has come to strike, to bring down the bird menace. to use the power of flame

for the restoration to return and create a beautiful garden across the entire dim wood. So what do we have to do to join whatever this is? We must pledge your lives to the cult. The cult of Zyrag.

You know, I'm not going to do that. And why do you come? Well, because I want whatever's inside of that weird wicker thing. He turns and looks at the thing beside them. That is the fire of Zyrag. Yeah, no, I want that. How do we get that?

I've got a question. Why just the birds? Why not the cats, too? Birds are hateful creatures. They sit in their great perches and look down upon those that do not have the ability of flight. And it is in their nature to oppress

and to disrupt nature. There is not one person that can wield the flame. What do you know that is within Zyraq's soul? Why do you seek it? Well, because it's really pretty if you look over there, there's vibrant orange, which is, as we all know, the main color of spook toba, and we're in a creepy forest,

where there are pumpkins and it's autumnal themed, and if anyone is going to win the best Halloween costume of McBed Creep. Creek is going to be the frog who's dressed up like a tadpire holding a flame in whatever's inside of that thing, obviously. And it's the Mugbed Creep costume conference. Yeah. But I used to Creep. Yeah.

Well, that's definitely a person. I mean, that person exists. Yeah, Old Man Creep. Old Man Creep in Muscet Creek. Yeah, you might know him because they were two old cats. There's a strange aura about you. Three of you. Oh, well, there were four of us here, so...

What kind of weird aura? What does that mean? It just happens when I get nervous. I'm sort of a bit of it. You seem to be tough with the same power as Iraq. No, I think you're just mistaken the fact that Grumley ate a four-day-old clam strip Rubin or something, and he is just... Yeah, that would throw anybody's aura out of whack. Yeah.

And we traveled down in Dawkins rearing kind of damp moist cave with him in this state of being. We are wielders of the power of Zyrag. Well, that's quite the bold statement there. All right. Zyrag did not give you permission to say that. He told us that we were not supposed to mention it. We were supposed to trust that the faithful would know and do his bidding because of their spiritual connection. you're not supposed to say that.

Wow. Say what? Exactly. He turns and looks. What do you know of Zyrag in the power he has? I do see lingering aura. You know, it's like you said, the messengers aren't supposed to say anything about it.

There is nobody who knows Zyrag in his bidding and his abilities quite like the faithful. Can you get a trick of it, P.C? That's very true. That is very true. Oh, wow. Eight. Four.

Let me see. My goodness. So they hesitate. So they take, okay? So you can choose one. They hesitate, shake their confidence, begin their morale, stumble, you gain a critical opportunity.

They overreact, take plus one forward against them. What is your preference? Oh, I have to look at this. Yeah, yeah, you got to choose. I need to. So I'm tricking. So what would I mean by a critical opportunity because like I don't think that we want to just like go in and steal it.

It could be a variety of different. I will do they overreact and we get one forward against them. What does that mean? What's one forward? It means that when we try and do something, we get plus ones to our role. For this entire scene. So basically like knocking him off of his guard and so he's overreacting about it. So he looks and he says, hi, I, I am the most faithful of all of us here.

and I did see the aura of Zyrak on you. I believe, I'm a true believer. And I have no doubt, I do not doubt my faith. And I have no doubt that he sent you the same message that he told us he was sending to the most faithful that the shadow of birds, the rain of feathers would descend if you didn't do right by him. And I know that is the most faithful.

you will follow true to his word. Because he sent a message to the fire. I consciously see the war. How else would he send a message? A rhetorical, I've said he sent the message to things. I feel that as the most faithful, that's not a question you should be asking us. I'm sure he spoke to you and told you.

You know, something about shepherding the flames, where they need to go or something along those lines. What is his will? Oh, no, he didn't communicate with you. This is a little awkward. Are they not the faithful? We are faithful.

Well, I think they might be sort of faithful. They were supposed to know. They must not be the ones. We're. He must not be the anointed one. What did he say? In the flames, I have been praying

of my... Why would Zyrag not speak to me, the leader of the cult? The fire has chosen the fore. The dragon has been protected by the four. Shepard the flames. To shepherd the flames.

And that the leader of the faithful would know them upon sight and allow them towards the heart of fire. Oh, this is unfortunate. It's really awkward that we had to tell you this. It's really uncomfortable. And the point of the cult was

to, for this moment. For you to pass on the fleet. It's hundreds. Since the beginning of time, and this has been culminating to this moment. Since the separation. Whoever would like to make a trick-in-MP plus one may do so.

Why me? You have the highest act. No, I don't. Not for trick-in' NPC. You're some cutting, cutting. Cutting, yeah. I have negative one on Charm. Oh, I'm cutting. Oh, shit, I've been rolling with Charm.

Oh, yes. 13. 13. He seems visibly shaken from this. He has morale and it's all gone. It's a stat. And it is all gone. As he almost like drops his torch.

His, but peaceful. I suppose it would be wayward souls, which shepherds. of the flame to bring destruction of fire and the renewal to the feathered menace. Couldn't have said it better myself. And that's all goal. It's to bring down the feathered menace.

No, no. It is not our destiny. We were the chosen. Destiny. Destiny. Destiny. Destiny. Destiny.

Destiny. Destiny. I had believed. I had seen my glory in the flame. But I had mirrored. merely been a shepherd myself. And immediately he, uh, he takes his flame and holds it in front of him and kneels and bows before you. And immediately a ring all the colthus around you, all kneel and bow.

Well, before you, I could get used to this. Um, well, uh, please, please, uh, arise, arise for us. Well, not too quickly, you know, take the time, but continue to bow in reverend. of the dragon. Close your eyes. The chosen of Zyrag. Picture the flame in your mind of Zyrag.

That's not. Yours. We're picturing it. It is yours. It's odd. Take it. All right. I'm going to walk forward and I'm going to reach into the thing, grab it

and try and yank it out. So as you approach, you see that there's a large that there's a large kind of wicker statue. You could take the time to kind of pull it apart. It's not super well built in this garden. And then you can see that as you start to kind of peer in, you see a large sword plunged into this dark stone

and is glowing with the same radiance that is that all of the others have. And it seems to be licking with flames. And almost occasionally, you have to stand back a little bit as it then swirls around and shoots upwards and then kind of shoots out of the mouth of this effigy. It's not catch fire on this strained wood, but a flame shoots up out of the sword. And you see that there are a number of, you peer down and you see built around this, there's a number of strange symbols that are glowing with the same kind of orangey,

a hue as the rest of your artifact. What do you do? I'm going to grab the hilt and pull it from the, I'm sword and the stone in this bitch. Okay, so you wait for the right time and you grab it. And as soon as you pull it out, flames burst out and immediately incinerate

the, immediately from the room. All hills die rag! And incinerate the entire bit of the statue. And you see that on the hilt of the sword is nothing to do with a dragon. It is a crown of antlers. As the sword ignites into flame. And it's almost kind of getting out of control.

It's blazing. And you realize that the strange emblem in the pommel seems to be able to turn. As you hold the sword up, immediately the members drop. their torches and put their hands onto the ground of this garden and stick their face into the ground and bow. And in unison, they say, a chosen of Zyrag, chosen of Zyrag. This is going thought too well. I'm going to hold up the sword. Here today, the most faithful of Zyrag have helped the champions of Zyrag to descend and the ability to protect him.

to protect the dim wood. Well said. Well said. And I'm going to turn the palm on. So as you do that, they all are bowing. And then as you turn the pommel, similar to rolling up the business, nodding all the stuff,

everything that you've done, it's looking out, it's almost getting out of control, this blazing inferno. It's starting to burn away some of the sides of this chamber. And then as soon as you suddenly, and you have a sword

that's glow. I'm going to look down. Only the chosen can control the flame. And then I'm just going to go and stand with my friends. You do that. And immediately. Good job, Betty. Thanks.

That's what happens when you're chosen. And immediately, all of the other cultists are bowing down. And you see the leader of the cult, a stand up. His torch has cast aside as well. as he looks at all of you and says, You all are the chosen of Zyrag. Truly, you wield his flame. It shall be you that burns down the great eerie

and out of that destruction, the renewal that will create a garden as glorious as the one we stand. Powerful stuff. We will carry the flame and use it for pure destruction. Action against the birds. Zyrag will guide us, as he always has, towards our destiny.

It's midnight, and you see up above, the moon is at zenith. It seems to be midnight, as it's shining down, almost looks from the hue of this room, a blazing, almost like a blazing orange sun, as it shines down, almost connecting with the glow of the sword. as you see that there are, there's a number of stone, the stone pillars actually have grips in order to climb up as the ocean that was in the glass has receded.

And it's just night sky. And it seems if the tide has gone out to a certain point for this black reef to be exposed. Do we go up there? That is where the holy place is. we can have our messenger call to the messenger he will hear you

well thank you we appreciate everything that you've done for us and then we wish you well and here take my torch I do not need it any longer all right sure

I'll hold it up you hold it up and it says our messenger will know that it is from me go with Zyrag one more decree from Zyrag himself. The sacrifices, blood on the altar,

it is not necessary for your worship. He does not need sacrifice. He just needs your faith. The sacrifices culminate in the joining of the of the tributaries. And the faithful will be rewarded

It's under the ever watchful eye of the dragon, and I point up at the bright glowing moon shining down. Yeah, I'll look up. Chosen of Zion. Chosen of Zion. Let's go. Well, this has been fun. Ziread be praised.

Zyrette be praised. Everyone had a lovely night. We'll see you around. And with that, Booker's scamper is up. And you all make your way up. And as you make your way up, they are all saying, Zyrieve be praised. Zyriot be praised.

The sword gleaming in this light. And as soon as your torch extends, you hear a call, a familiar voice on the wind. And you see a flapping form of quencing. As he looks down at you, as he flies and immediately goes and gets his rowboat. And he brings it around. A large black reef spanning up. spanning out across in this area as you managed to climb on.

It is very treacherous and sharp. If you're not careful, it's easy to slip and cut yourself on this thing. As you all wait and you all, what do you do as the boat is docked? What do you do? That's what we'll do. Take us back to shore, but maybe don't take us directly there. Somewhere under the comfort of darkness, you can get us back. We can slip back into the inn and for safety.

I know the best spots to avoid all of the eyes of those filthy birds. By feathered menace. Do that. You should hard the sword. I did. Oh, you already did? Yeah. It's inside of my jumper.

Perfect. You all, um, the four relics all maintain. You step off and you heave off and you row and row. And as soon as the sword crosses the threshold away from the reef, suddenly you're as you look behind me the reef slides forward and interlots and then a low

rumbling and it sinks beneath the sea. Oh, would you look at that. And that's her one session. Damn. Are all the cult is dead down there? I mean, the cult is but...

I... Well... Adventures in chill. Adventures and chill. They could get. They could get out of that. This was a weird else.

I'll leave their dead. Yeah, I don't think so either. We hit all the fucking beats. That fucking ice. Holy shit. What? What? What?

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