lemonparty - 003: six-piece suit

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

five more episodes on the private feed: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty lemonparty podcast, lemon party podcast, ben avery's podcast ben avery meets jordan peterson, joey's world tour, nikocado, the invention of basketball, the last holiday, racist movies, terrible comedy, vince champ, jonas salk, remember the titans, r/thefighterandthekid, how to stop gay sex, pick up artists, osama bin laden   ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery   website for lemonparty: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, check one, two, yeah, we're in, we're hello. All right, we're good. Hello, hello. Check one, two. Yeah, we're in. We're in. All right, testing. We're in. Now it's time to go. Go.

Somebody say retard. Somebody say something that'll... Something. Prevent you from ever getting a job in the future. Do an accent about like a fat southerner. Make him sound completely retarded Rape, rape, rape Gracie, please stop

Please stop Well, if this is the regular episode We're already Our channel isn't monetized yet though By the way That's always Just keep going, let me make sure it's recording Do you have to like apply for monetization? No, you have to... Just keep going. Let me make sure it's recording. Okay. Do you have to, like, apply

for monetization? No, you have to get a certain amount of subscribers. Yeah, you have to test out, like, nacho fries in your car. We'll know we've made it when we have more subscribers than Joey's World Tour. Do we? Alright, what does he have?

I'm assuming... You know what? Probably actually 9 million. He's probably got, like, 8 like eight billion subscribers yeah he's probably the most famous person in the world he's let me go to my home page yeah you figure out he's huge in like senegal he's their king now he's their sugar man yeah they call him sugar man because of his diabetes. Oh, my God. Our favorite, Joey Sixto Rodriguez. 450,000. 450,000. There you go.

God. He is like if we had an Apocalypse Now thing, he would be the guy at the end. Yeah. He would be a- Colonel Kurtz. Colonel Kurtz, yeah. Oh, man. They were just going down a river to stop him from eating 20 Big Macs in a sitting.

It is great that he turned his eating disorder into a YouTube channel. Yeah. Because he's like, I got to try. I got to do the Arby's Diablo Dare Challenge. They are smart. It's also funny. It's like, I have to do it for the fans. I don't want to eat in my car.

And he's also never using any of his money to go buy good food. He's like, oh boy, the money's coming in this month. I'm going to go buy an Arby's. You don't even go get a good steak or lobster. He's not like Musso and Frank. He's just like, I heard they have a new experimental type of cheese at Taco Bell.

We need to go on down. Dude, I've seen things deep in the bottomless well of Joey's World Tour content. Because the man uploads like none other. I mean, he's really like... He's a workhorse.

He's rising and grinding when it comes to the YouTube content. I've seen videos where he has a notebook in his car and he starts... He opens it and he goes through the names of all of his subscribers he's written them down by hand with like a like a mechanical pencil which is somehow sadder than a pen yeah it is yeah because it can be erased it's very sad like it could just be thrown into the sand yeah which i'm wondering if he goes back and cross-references to see if people have unsubbed, and then he erases them out of the book. You never know.

He erases them just with the grease from his fat fingertip. His finger counts as an eraser. He's so greasy from the food he eats that he's technically waterproof. He's like those K-swiss shoes where it just beads off of him so he's a workhorse is what you're saying he's a workhorse guys like this though that have have justified their eating disorder through being like an influencer is there's this one guy what's sad is like people go joey's world tour is like really sad and pathetic and it's it's tragic but i present to you guys like joey's

world tour that haven't made it guys like joey's world tour with 40 subs is insane i know i have found i found this one guy i'm not even gonna his channel's so small i'm not gonna say his name his he had his mom he had a skin he's like 600 pounds and he had a thing he had a skin, he's like 600 pounds, and he had a dry skin on the back of his leg because he's insanely overweight. And it was pulling on the chair leg. It was like pulling off his gamer chair. And he had his mom come in on a stream and cut it off with scissors. And then she ground it up and sprinkled it on his spaghetti. Dude, he makes his mom do eating challenges with him.

And he does these things where he makes up eating challenges. And they get like 45 views. And he just listens to Slipknot in his kitchen while sitting there. And he's like, all right, guys, I got to do the triple bell challenge today. So I got to eat three full meals from Taco Bell in under five minutes. He goes, I've seen this challenge go around on the internet and i'm like i'm googling it i'm like this doesn't it's not a challenge he makes up the challenge based on what he was going to eat and he just puts up a shitty camera shitty camera like we have and he puts on a timer and he just

listens to like slipknot and eats he's and he's like whoo whoo and he's acting like it's it's great because he has to act like he's really full yeah he's like man like halfway he's like i don't know how i'm gonna finish this and every time he's always under time yeah he always finishes he always finishes he's like luckily i got another stomach in my arm dude one time he's like i'm stuffed and then like in my arm. Dude, one time. He's like, I'm stuffed. And then like puts a whole chicken in his mouth and pulls the skeleton out. Dude, I caught onto his scam when he was like, all right, it's time to do the hot dogs and Fruit Loops challenge.

And he had like seven hot dogs. He's like, the challenge is you got to eat like seven hot dogs and they're covered in sugary cereal like Fruit Loops. And I was like, this can't. It's not a challenge. This can't be. If It's not a challenge. I was like, this can't be... If this is a TikTok challenge, it's not planking, it's not Tide Pods.

There's no way that teens are like, dude, I dare you to eat seven hot dogs covered in Fruit Loops. That would be the challenge if TikTok was actually the Chinese government trying to kill Americans. They'd just be like, get the hot dogs Fruit Loot Loops challenge started.

So they all die. Get that going. Guys, guys, I heard you. Everybody's been challenging me to do the bucket of spaghetti challenge. Where you get a fucking bucket of spaghetti covered in maple syrup. Let's go, guys.

This is for ALS. Okay, this one has really been requested. I'm gonna eat a cow's leg this is the one i've got requested the most this is for charity y'all he's doing he's doing the ice bucket challenge with mountain dew and there's like three guys that are like wow can't believe i found this channel before anyone else just want to say blank blank, I just wanna say don't forget about me on your way up.

Yeah, they say before this blows up and they're talking about his heart. Before this blows up. Yeah, he's doing the ice cream bucket challenge. That guy rocks. God, though, imagine the love. I'll show you him after. Oh, thank you. He's amazing.

Let's do it at my home. Then just watch him on Haywatch, honestly. We can do a home theater viewing of it. He calls himself his name is interesting. But he has like no views?

Oh he has like maybe some videos he has like maybe 12 views. Oh man. Well let's get blown. What is his name? I'm not going to do that. Oh you're right. That would be targeted harassment, technically. Hey, that would be horrible for his health. God, I hope, you know, I don't want to hurt him.

Yeah. Oh, God. I mean, because The last thing you want Is someone to have a career Like Nick Acato Avocado Yeah where they're kind of Trapped into this world And I have the I have the

I could put a lot of Eyeballs on this guy I'm not gonna do that to him But imagine how sad It must be He's upset He makes these videos And his

You know his mom goes to bed And he looks at his views And he's like God views and he's like, God, what the fuck? He's like, what am I doing wrong? He's like, I guess I...

Should I chew with my mouth open more? He's like, he's eating his feelings but that's, now his job's eating but he doesn't make any money from his job so then he gets sad

and then he eats more. He's trying to be like a famous influencer and he's like making negative $20,000 a year. Oh, he doesn't have a job. He's way too fat to have a job. He just lives with his mom.

I thought he was an architect or something. Really? I guess if you get that fat, you can just get disability, right? Like the state's just like, he's fat as shit. Send him money. Like a guy comes over and weighs you like a fish? Yeah, you have like a parole officer. He like checks your tits. He's like, yeah, you him money. Like a guy comes over and weighs you like a fish? Yeah, you have like a parole officer.

He checks your tits. He's like, yeah, you're still morbidly obese. Here's your check. You mail the government a picture of you, and they go, give him $80,000 a year. Look at this guy. Oh, yeah. That channel, that one's just for me.

That one's just for me. But I'll tell you who he is so maybe you can watch him on Hate Watch on your Patreon. All right. We'll look into him. That's a Hate Watch Patreon app. I'll do it on Hate Watch. Because it's more intense targeted harassment. But you can't do it with your show.

You couldn't do it to like eight. If a channel has like eight subs, then it's incredibly abusive. Then it's like I'm shooting like a child. You might as well film just a guy with Down syndrome at the mall and then make fun of him on your podcast. It would be the same thing. Oh, God. It's like I get uncomfortable just seeing people walk up to

Stolen Valor dudes at the mall because it's like they're all pretty. There's no guy that's just like, I don't think he's really, there's not like a normal dude doing there's no guy that's just like I don't think he's really there's not like a normal dude doing Stolen Valor that's just like fucking I just think it's cool like it pussy it's like a guy that's like I have served and I like it's they have a problem yeah there's no guy getting

confirmed for Stolen Valor he's like dude you're embarrassing me in front of my wife and kids it's like dude my mom's gonna get mad at me and kick me out of the garage. Exactly. There's no guy that looks like Channing Tatum doing like Stolen Valor. Whose life just rules.

Yeah, no, they all are very fucked up. It is a guy who couldn't get pussy any way. Yeah. So you might as well let him steal a little. Well, a lot of the time, it's not even about the pussy. They're at the mall and they just want people to be like,

thank you for your service, and they want to go, you're welcome, and they're like, thank you. Thank you. They want their life to have meaning, even if the meaning itself is meaningless, I guess. It's just, it used to be really cool to be a fucking soldier. It's still badass. It is, but with all these

fucking bleeding hearts, they ruined it. Now it's a little dicey. You know what I say? I say if you're young and Republican, you have no heart. But if you're old and Democrat, you have no mind.

You're the first person who's ever said that. I just thought of it. Yeah. Who told you that? Dave Rubin? I would love if... Semper Fi. Semper Fi. Semper Fi, Mr. Rubin.

You're his assistant. You're the guy that has to keep telling him, Joe Rogan doesn't want you on his podcast anymore. I have to keep reminding him he's gay. He's like, but why? And you're like, because he thinks you're retarded. You were exposed, Dave. You were exposed.

I forget he's a gay guy. Everyone does. Anyway, what were you saying, Jace? Oh, I would like it if they started going way too high with stealing valor. Because they're always like, oh, you you know I'm a private or whatever but what if there's a guy with Down syndrome just dressing like a five star general like he's a

he's like a colonel with the hat he's in he's out of lids in the mall he's got four stars on a helmet and fucking 80 pins and a huge he's walking around like George Patton yeah he's at Golden Corral grabbing food with his hands.

He's got a riding whip in the pants with the big hips on them, boots. He's riding a horse into Golden Corral. When it gets to the point where they're just carrying around a sword. He's doing Civil War, Stolen Valor. Do people

do that in Britain where they steal royalty? Where they pretend to be knighted? How do you do that? You like fuck a kid. You're like, I'm a royal. See, same. See, guys, same. I fuck my sister and kids and I do it all.

I rape kids and I'm ugly as shit. I'm royalty. That's how you get knighted is you get on the sex offenders list. I fucking hated being people. And then they just go, wow, you're amazing. You're in the club. Not me. I'd fucking cut their heads off.

Goddamn right. You could just name yourself Sir and just be like, that's my first name now. Yeah. By the way, I will say if people that do become pedophile vigilantes, not the worst gig. Doesn't pay that well and the cops will ask you to stop but it's not against the law but they probably like they like yeah they don't they treat you kind of okay because they're like it's fucking no the cops hate it because you're making them look bad so like would you knock it off just let them do what they're gonna do

and we'll do nothing don't you know how? Come on, you've seen us how we handled Uvalde. We know what we're doing here. Fuck off. We stand outside while the kids get raped. Yeah, I was playing Candy Crush. And people are like, the kids are getting raped. Stop. And we're like, we could get raped.

I will save my kid from getting raped Little Timmy to get raped Dude if I started being a Trans Am guy With a neck tattoo With a Like okay I start working out a little bit And I start getting that Dude if I like Place Beyond the Pines

Ryan Gosling Like that whole look I start smoking menthol cigarettes I start driving a Trans Am Getting a lot of tattoos and knives i get four phones and all these different email accounts and i start pretending to be little girls on the internet yeah and then i just go confront these motherfuckers yeah in the parking lot of like a build-a-bear and just filming them dude that would fill my life with so much meaning. I could put these motherfuckers behind bars. It's the most honorable thing. It's the most honorable vigilante work.

It's to embarrass a pedophile at the mall. It's amazing. Yeah, you're right. It's to just point and say, look, everyone, a pedophile. While he turns and goes, what? I'm not. I don't even know who you are. And he clearly, he always looks exactly like a pedophile.

It's never the CEO. You can always tell. Like, if I was a judge, I would never even need a jury. I'd be like, he's fucking weird looking. Life. Show me his glasses. I'd be like, yeah, put your glasses on. Now, what type of shoes do you wear?

God, you're a fucking pedophilic retard. Life. Is he wearing khakis? I can see him from outside. Don't even do the court thing. Just throw him in jail. Wearing khakis and sneakers. Pedophile.

Are those 14-year-old sketchers? Pedophiles are, like, all broke. Yeah. Their hair's always wet all day for some reason. I wonder why that is. The stress? They're sweating up a storm. It's because they gotta hustle so much.

You gotta work really hard. I gotta pour one out for all the pedophiles out there. You have to. All the virtuous pedophiles out there. That's true. I gotta pour one out for them because you're just white knuckling life no matter what. The ones that don't do it? Mm-hmm.

Do you think they have an AA? They have coins that I'm like nine months nine months clean. Some guy comes in and he's like I had a relapse last night. Nine months clean. Relapse last night though. Oh man. Yeah pedophiles suck dude.

Dude fuck them dude. Fuck them. I do feel bad for people that can't get the thing they want in life though but i guess that's actually you know what that's everybody though yeah it's rough you're you're a pedophile you're a valiant pedophile for like being a millionaire you know you want that real bad yeah but you're not you basically you gotta work your way all the way to the top like you gotta you gotta who's that guy you gotta like you gotta like everybody listening to ty lopez and guys like that the lamborghini guy people are reading like three books a day and learning how to invest so they can one day like molested molest a kid and get away with yeah yeah ty lopez is in his like filming himself like hey I'm just in my garage in the Beverly Hills.

I got three kids tied up in the back. What's up, guys? I'm going to show you how you can fit three kids in your trunk. Tai Lopez is probably a pedophile. There's a lot of people that are probably pedophiles. 3% of people are supposedly pedophiles. I don't like that there's different types of pedophiles. I know there's a pedophiles i i don't like the that

like there's different types of pet like i know there's a different word like hebephile right but when i hear pedophile i think you're fucking a like eight-year-old kid like luring him with candy when it's these ones where it's like they're 16 17 they the bodies are grown yeah you're a pedophile right uh but i i it feels like in a different category than like the guy with the van like there's no guy in a white van like driving you know picking up 17 year old girls yeah with a piece of candy yeah well i think there's different tiers to the offense i think there's like i think it's like or no it's categories it's like categories one two and three yeah you would have a better idea than i would yeah he's like he's like a pedophile in a white van with tinted windows.

He's driving by a school. There's 16-year-old girls walking by. He's like, you guys like Triple X Tintacion? Hey, come check out my merch. Hey.

I got some exclusive Triple X. You guys want to film some TikTok dances? Hey, what's up? I love Juice WRLD too. Come here. Come here. How did that guy die love Juice WRLD, too. Come here. Come here.

How did that guy die? Juice WRLD? Yeah. He ate a bunch of his friends' drugs so they wouldn't get in trouble on the plane. And then I guess he didn't know how that worked. Yeah. That's really how he died? Pretty sure.

I thought he got shot. No. You're thinking of XX Tintacion. XX X Tintacion got shot buying jet skis. Oh, really? Yeah, he was buying jet skis. Oh really? Yeah he was buying like jet skis or like whatever, the cool bikes or you know whatever, the shit that they ghost ride and all that.

The Meek Mill bikes. The Meek Mill bikes. I wish I knew enough about Juice WRLD to make a Juice WRLD tour joke. Juice WRLD, he, yeah he started off with mukbangs and worked his way up the ladder. He famously drank 20 cups of lean in one YouTube video. What's up, guys? Today I'm going to eat my friend's drugs. Welcome back to Juice WRLD's World Tour.

That might not be the way he died, but I'm pretty sure that's what I remember. And I remember thinking, like, I'm sure he was very talented, but, like, what? How stupid are you? Like, just take the... You're going to go away for a little, or whatever. You're going to have some legal issues, but you don't eat all the drugs. You die.

Yeah, that's right. I don't know. It was like suicide. I don't really understand it. What kind of drugs did he eat? I don't know. I don't know. By the way, I just saw, Katie just told me, I'm kind of late to the game on this, boys.

I didn't know Aaron Carter overdosed and died. Yeah, he died. Yeah, he died this weekend. That made me really sad. Real bummer. Yeah, he was so hot back in the day. He was a hot kid. You know what?

You can tell. The first Bieber. Every pedophile is like pouring out a beer. They're mean at the bar. Well, that was their like Farrah Fawcett. They're tearing their posters down and folding them like it's a flag at the bar. Well, that was their, like, Farrah Fawcett. They're tearing their posters down and folding them like it's a flag at a funeral. I remember sitting in that bush with my binoculars

when he beat Shaq. But it was funny. You could, like, the most depressing part about that article that he died was, like, he was found in his home in lancaster california and you're like oh god which is where in the middle of the desert uh north is by by palmdale okay it's like if you're too poor for palmdale you live in lancaster really yeah it's like really broke it's like breaking bad meth territory you can get a big hold out big old

place out there you know but kind of sounds like it's awesome it's cool it's yeah when i'm my mom lives around there and so whenever i'm there i feel like nothing could happen to me because you're so far away from everything sure but you know there's a lot of there's like badgers and skinny pete's walking around i love that your mom lives in the desert now it's great it's what she's meant to do. It's lovely. She killed Aaron Carter, actually. Your mom sold him a bad speedball. I told that bitch, you better stop selling that shit.

I immediately saw- Beb, you better stop stepping on your shit. You're going to kill Aaron Carter. You wildin'. I went up to my mom and go, Ma, you wildin'. Beb, you got to stop' with that fentanyl shit. You still sellin' that fentanyl shit? You just turned into Matt Ryan. Damn, Ma.

Damn, Ma, did you just shimmy away from me? Did you? Oh, man. That's a little inside baseball. A little inside. I can Google it. I can Google it. It's only the greatest comedian of our generation.

He is very good. He's great at being up there. Have you seen his... He holds it down. People leave and they go, that happened. He stood up there. He was up. He existed. Have you heard his DJ Khaled joke? What is that? How does it go? people leave and they go that happened he's he stood up there he was up he existed he has that

uh have you heard his dj khaled joke what's the what is that how's it go where he goes uh fuck i forget how it goes but he says he basically goes up there and he's like dj khaled starts every song and he's like it's dj khaled and you're like oh my god this is gonna be like the best who's this guy he He must be the best DJ of all the time. And then he just doesn't say anything. Oh, it's one of those jokes? Yeah. And then nothing happened.

Whereas that's another punchline. It's like comics. They do this thing where they go like, and then he just left. And that was it. It's also the classic, rap is weird sometimes. Isn't rap crazy? It is funny that we've clockwork-oranged ourselves by watching a thousand hours of the worst stand-up imaginable out here.

Let me tell you. It's my favorite thing to do. That's literally why you started Hatewatch. You're institutionalized now. But I don't even really watch people I want to, I don't want to have wars really or anything yet. You're just like, life in prison's not that bad. No, it's fucking so amazing to watch bad comedy.

It's fascinating. Just seeing what tricks a crowd. You literally, like, I'll be at your house just sitting on the couch and you'll be like, you want to watch Brendan Schaub's new special? I'll literally say that. And then we just turn on and we and you'll be like, you want to watch Brendan Schaub's new special? I'll literally say that. And then we just turn it on and we don't even say anything. Just watch the whole thing. I sit and watch the whole fucking thing like it's on the Criterion Collection.

Yeah, you have like five monitors going of the Fighter and the Kids subreddit. It's amazing. It's like the Matrix. It's an amazing world. And people disrespect Brendan too much, honestly. Think about how much good he's done for the economy. He's given so many people jobs. All these documentaries that come out about him.

The guy has been better for America than FDR. He's doing public works programs. It's unbelievable. He's a social worker. He gives so many people's lives meaning. He gives all of their lives meaning. It's incredible. It is great.

He's formed a community around people hating him. There's more documentaries about Brennan Schaub than JFK's assassination. Truly. It's unbelievable. There's a new one every day. And then a kid in his room just gets like 700 grand sent to him because it goes viral. Dude, I'm still regretting that we didn't rebuild the Fighter and the Kid the old

podcast studio. We wanted to name the show Fighter and the Kid. The only name we could settle on was just call it r slash the Fighter and the Kid. That was almost the name of the podcast was r slash the Fighter and the Kid. It was the funniest thing we could think of. Oh, God.

Love bad comedy. You've literally called out of work because gringo poppy dropped and it wasn't even it was like it was there was some decent you know he just got to wear the writing a little bit work on the writing he's got the presents he's got the jackets people are already the jackets are half the game that is really what most most stand-up is now his shoes are white as hell that's all standard really it's like damn he fresh he has a lot of scotch guard it's like god man he's got zippers on his fucking on his biceps is that guy wearing an eight ball jacket damn Man. Damn, bro. I do see people. Did you see the new Netflix eight minute stand up specials drop? You see the kid wearing the fucking.

I've talked to comics before they go up and I'm looking at them. I'm like, you know, that's a motorcycle jacket, right? Not only do you not ride a motorcycle. Yeah. It's hot in here. Well, they're about to bomb so hard they kind of need it. So they can justify why they're sweating there's an inevitable like literally it's like it's like you're sliding across pavement for

400 feet it's for protection yeah there's a cold wind that blows over them every night they need that fucking mink coat on they need to dress like frank lucas while they do fucking horrible dating jokes yeah they should be performing in front of the chicken wire from Blues Brothers. Oh, God. This one might be a Patreon. Yeah, I think this is the Patreon. Yeah, I'd say so. But also, by the way, like I said, mentioning Brendan

Schaub immediately elevates your career. That's true, yeah. I go in the bathroom every day and I look at myself in the mirror and I go, Brendan, Brendan, Brendan. Like he's the candy man. And then I look at my bank account and I've just gotten money. Yeah, the government will actually send you money to shit on Brendan Shaw's stand-up.

They'll send you a middle-class tax rebate to shit on Gringo Poppy. Obama created a program in 2016 to stop bad stand-up. Remember when Obama signed that bill on New Year's Eve so no one could see it, but it was all about how we get money if we hate Brendan Shaw.

Let me be clear. Oh, man. Sorry. No, no, go ahead. When I grew up, I'm sure he was the same. Brendan seems like a great fucking guy. I don't know about that,

but he's been nice to me. I'm not a lady. I'll say anything. Anytime people have had a problem with me, I just say I'm a member of the group that I offended. But I don't. It's meaningless.

We're all going to die. Yeah. You do the like, he's a close personal friend. Yeah, anything. People can't say, I'm like, oh, I'm Puerto Rican. How about that?

Fuck you. You are a... I'm anything. I'm anything you need me to be. I'm Syrian. I'm Italian. I'm fucking a lot of stuff. You're almost a black comic really

0.3 percent sub-saharan african yep oh yeah looked at my uh somebody looked at my dad or something looked at his 23 and me or whatever but when we were growing up comics were slut like they dressed bad but because their brain was the was the flashiness yeah they wanted to die they wanted to die and so they showed you the inner workings of their mind, and you were like, that's beautiful and amazing and hilarious. Now it's a bunch of bells and whistles, and it's strange. I remember when we were all doing stand-up and shit, and all comedians, it was becoming this thing where you'd look really cool.

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, this is maybe why it's bad. Because it's about being cool. It was like Jim Norton was the the hot boy comic like on the street. Right. Yeah. Everybody looked like shit. Yeah.

It was a guy that looked like an egg that talked about like, you know, drinking pee and he was hilarious and amazing and now it's like

comics look like they're fucking, you know, like they go to fucking like hit part. They look like they're in like Ciroc commercials. Yeah,

they look like they're doing stand-up in Euphoria. They're bruh comics. There's a whole generation of comics that are just like bruh. Bruh. Bruh. You got me tripping. Bruh. Bruh.

Bruh. It's like Zendaya. Shit. Shit. Yo, this motherfucker know what I'm talking about. Zendaya. Just some weird catchphrase that makes no it is like a it's like a euphoria talent show where this would happen at the euphoria high school yeah where they're someone's doing they're all hot and their and their talent is just going to be like dude got gay as hell what the hell it's all all stand up

is black teenagers vamping for time who don't like have anything to say well that's what's annoying about all the fake cool comedy too is that it's all people stealing from very funny black kids that's what I mean it's white people doing that exactly like there's a black kid on his

android like on the train in New York right now that's what I mean. It's white people doing that. Yeah, exactly like there's a black kid on his Android like on the train in New York right now that's funnier than like every comedian there All he needs is a Wi-Fi connection and now he's funnier than you like a movie as soon as he connects to Wi-Fi He's your it's game over immediately. You show that guy like, you know, the Comedy Central fucking whatever You showed me the other day that was insane. I Oh, I see you, the JFL stuff. What was that? I don't even know. I thought you made it.

It looked like fucking Carnival. Like, it was like Cirque du Soleil. They were, like, shooting midgets out of cannons. Dude, I thought it was fake for a second. I was like... I thought it was fake. And then I saw somebody I recognized, and I go, what the fuck?

Dude, it's like 25 comics. I've never heard of a single one of them. And it just keeps cutting every five seconds. You keep hearing punchlines out of context. And I was like, oh, you caught me running. And then it just cuts to the next person. It's a dwarf with an arrow through his head, like an actual arrow.

It's the guy with an arrow in his head. The next one is a pirate. The guy with the nail in his head from Happy Gilmore is the headliner. John Fetterman's in there. Welcome to JFL. Up next, Hector Salamanca. He just rings his belly.

Me, me, me, me, me. I want to say when I said dwarf, I meant like an actual Lord of the Rings dwarf. Right. Because there is a guy who got it who's a little guy, but he's actually really funny. I've seen clips of it.

Sam Talent showed me him. So I don't want to... Yeah, no, I wasn't. We're shooting on everyone else involved. Everyone else. Oh, and Marcelo's really funny. I'm friends with Marcel it. Sam Talent showed me them, so I don't want to... We're shooting on everyone else involved. Oh, and Marcello's really funny. I'm friends with Marcello. Yeah, everyone's great. Actually, all of them are. Everyone's always great. If anyone we know gets in a clip of this,

you're the good one. Everyone's always great because I stood around them once. And I'll tell everybody now, I'm sorry we talked about comedy. We will go longer. That is the rule. If we talk about comedy, we go longer. No, but this was coming from a nice little hateful, beautiful place. Hector Salamanca's on stage

and his duke is just going, what's that? Are you saying women be shopping? Are you just saying that? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And he's like, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight. He's just trying to do a bit about how Donald Trump is kind of a black guy

and then Walt blows up his wheelchair and kills everybody everyone in the crowd is like thank god we get to turn into half a skeleton he's standing in front of a fucking a blown-up theater and he goes I won Skyler, I won. Oh my goodness. I'm the one who knock-knocks. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, dude. Fuck yeah. You're scared I'm going to bomb up there? Let me tell you something, Skyler.

I'm the one. I'm the one who bombs. Bombs. I'm the one who bombs. Bombs. Yeah. Hank Schrader's on the toilet and he's reading Too Fat to Fit

and he sees he sees a signed note from he sees a handwritten inscription from Gallagher and he looks up I don't know who that's going to be funny to but holy shit

all these people they get these references everyone gets Breaking Bad if you haven't seen Breaking Bad kill yourself even if you don't know who that's going to be funny to, but holy shit. Oh, that's so funny. Everyone gets Breaking Bad. If you haven't seen Breaking Bad, kill yourself. Even if you don't like the show, you better know a reference. Dude, Gallagher died today. That's right. Really?

Yeah, Gallagher. Did you see that? What happened? He died. Someone hit him on the face. Knock him over the head. I only asked that for that. What happened?

What happened? What happened? He had a bunch of heart attacks. Wait, he really died? Is that true? Yeah, he died today. Oh my god. I gotta make some phone calls. Dad! You run to a pay phone?

Yeah, I run to a pay phone. I just heard the news. Dude, my only connection to Gallagher was a comic used to open for him who also died out here, tragically, who got mugged and killed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who you're talking about. And he opened for Gallagher, and now they're both gone.

Oh, God, I know who you're talking about. That was brutal. And I was looking, and under the TMZ thing, I was like, oh, God, Bob Saget, Louis Anderson, Gilbert Gottfried. Well, was he boosted? Gallagher was boosted. Gallagher was on his, I heard he was on his fifth are people doing that everybody that dies

of a random heart attack now is a booster but are people still getting boosted I think you sent me something some people are it's literally 4% of the population

is getting boosted amazing and those are just people who work at the White House yeah that's true Buzzfeed and the White House that's it

wow yeah my mom the julie you know the lady from julie and julia it's just yeah it's people that like work at like voting booths and stuff yeah yeah it's a guy who's like a big on tiktok for wearing like a skirt and long nails and you figure out he's like the foreign advisor to uh europe right by the way those anybody that's getting boosted is probably doing actual voter fraud for their party.

Those people should be investigated. They're doing something. Yeah. You know, you see a guy on the street with a mask on alone still, like a young person. I literally write them off

as human beings. I'm not kidding. I go, worthless. I go, either that or I have empathy and I treat them like an old guy lost in New York. And you want to go up to them and be like,

where do you live? Let's get you home. A guy who's having an Alzheimer's fit? It must be a lost old man. I literally, I was at my WeWork today for my job and there was a guy walked in with a mask and I don't even like use this word But in my head I was just like you fucking cuck. Mm-hmm fucking what I mean? Yeah work also be working at WeWork

Like it's a scam organization Yeah, I just I don't have any time for my mom like is like she's big she's still wearing a mask No, no, my mom hates all that shit She's a big conspiracy theory the julia girl julie and julia remember that movie that came out about like julia childs and like yeah with meryl streep white girl that like made like did a blog where she made all the food the julia child to me oh yeah yeah that the julio lady died at like 49 recently suddenly of like a heart attack and my

mom sent me a big thing and was like well she was one of those people that was on twitter all the time like laughing at like that unvaccinated people died and saying all that type of stuff and i heard she was she was on her like fourth booster and this and that and it makes you think it was kind of it was it was nice but the whole thing was basically like yeah fuck you huh you died how many can you get racked up by the way who who has the most how many times can you get racked up there's probably somebody who just got 80 who's just like There's somebody that got a lot out there. Like a bug chaser? Just wanted to keep getting the need.

Going down to the club and playing tag you're it. Tag, myocarditis. And you have myocarditis. And you have myocarditis. And you have myocarditis. That's how you would make it on liberals of TikTok, the page. Yeah.

Someone would just, there's just a new crazy liberal person on that page every time and I'm like totally convinced it's being funded by somebody. Yeah, I don't know. At this point, I'm like, this has to be,

is this really happening? It's like Manchurian candidate people. It's amazing. Like what is it? I haven't seen that. Stop, Libs of TikTok? They know like what is it? I haven't seen that stop Libs of TikTok Libs of TikTok

I haven't seen that it's a Twitter account that posts like insane liberal things from TikTok on Twitter is it like is it where it's like

it's a 400 pound non-binary woman in Portland she's good yes people ask me why my pronouns are buds

yeah exactly and I'll tell you why I'm a kindergarten teacher yeah that's exactly every day i tell my kids that they have to suck each other off and fuck each other in the ass they all have to have gay sex and eat each other's pussies in front of me this is happening in seattle it's it's very normal and everybody's like this is and then people fall for it yeah and it's like you don't know that this is a kindergarten. This is just a person on TikTok. Anybody could be doing this.

This could be funded by anybody. You never know. Anecdotally, just ask people, is this happening? Just anecdotally. I don't know anybody where this is happening in any schools with any kids. Like, actually. This is never on the news. There's never a local news piece where they're like, what?

The news wouldn't cover this type of shit. You don't think local news wouldn't cover if kids were... I guess local news maybe, but the mainstream news, they love this shit. Yeah, they wouldn't focus in on that. I mean, maybe it is that. I do think you mean everybody started that rumor like there's litter boxes in schools and that just wasn't true. Which, what was that?

That kids were pretending to be cats? Yeah, it was like a kid identifies as a cat. Right that's the same stuff with like libs of tiktok where people fall for it and they run with it and joe rogan like yeah he like gets all of his talking points from libs of tiktok apparently because he'll just say shit he saw on there like it's true and then a week later he'll be like okay actually like they're not you know they're not fingering your kids with the booster yeah they didn't give a baby breast implants we found out actually i didn't know what i was talking about it wasn't it's not true been looking for a save edit timestamp right now he's my close personal friend close personal friend

yeah but the lips of tiktok shit i I do See it constantly I'm like This can't You can't watch A lot of it is 100% There's people like that I love You can't You can't then go

This is every Some people under it go Oh my god We're fucked Yeah yeah yeah We are You guys Every time

We are fucked We are so fucked As a species You're fucked. Retard. I just clicked on your profile and went through your tweets. Your thoughts suck ass. Yeah.

It's always like, Ohio State needs to work on the O-9. Yeah, it is very much people just thinking, like assuming that everybody is like that. But it's just like 80 mentally handicapped people. It's a select amount of people. And they're always probably in the places we think it's happening in, like Portland or, you know, shit like that. I'm sure it's happening, though. It is very funny to, like, watch people, like, just become such big nerds they ruin their life, you know?

Yeah. Somebody's like, no, I was, you know, I heard. So me and my wife, we went to a sex therapist and we decided that we're gonna enter an open marriage for her only um and that's how we're gonna actually fight um the patriarchy and then his wife's just getting fucking railed out by the harlem globetrotters for years and then he's like and then just one day he like goes and fucking does suicide by cop just completely ruins his life it is uh it is nice to be mad about those people and then midway through saying something realize you're as crazy

as they are i made up a reply to a video that doesn't exist and got mad at the person's profile when scrolling through the tweets and they're not even real yeah you were like they they just exist in my head and i want to kill them yeah They don't exist, the tweet doesn't exist, and the reply to the tweet does not exist. This is one of those guys where he's got lanyards. He's got those Oakley sunglasses in the picture. Yeah, with the gas cans. Yeah, and he has a haircut where it looks like

there's a lobotomy scar on the side. It's a guy who's every... At Supercuts, they just give you a lobotomy for $8. You go to Fantastic Sam's, get your brain worked on. Every known picture of him is him in his truck from three inches away. And he lives in the truck because he had to get a Texas edition F-150. He's like, I got a mortgage on my truck. Dude, that should be... Oh, I thought of the next

Patreon goal. It should be $100,000. We get a Cybertruck and then we do the podcast from inside the Cybertruck. That's sick as hell. That would be insanely badass and we should get it decked out where it has Lemon Party on the side of it. And everyone in LA will want to kill us.

Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. It just says Lemon Party on the side of it. And everyone in LA will want to kill us. Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. It just says Lemon Party. It has the little Bob's Big Boy Kid and everything on the side. That would be amazing. Oh my God. The license plate just says I'm gay. We got to get that done.

It's got the Punisher logo, but he's sucking a dick so they don't know what we stand for. What's great though? It's like a bulletproof car. Everywhere we go people will want to kill us yeah and they'll just be open like gangs will be open firing any gun owner in la will be trying to kill us ramming into our car yeah well good luck

in your fucking in your hootie if you saw if you saw a cyber truck that said lemon party on the side and inside was three white guys podcasting i mean you, you GTA V pull out an RPG and fire at it. We should get the image of the old guys blowing each other on the side. It's an incredibly iconic image. Imagine, let's take this to a Mexican chop shop and showing them. They go, put this image on it. Are you sure you want this? They go, you guys are maricón.

image on it. Are you sure you want this? They go, you guys are maricones. I can't believe I gotta fucking airbrush these fucking old guys fucking each other. What an image. What an image that would be. Yeah. Would we get in trouble if we blur out the dicks and it's just old guys blowing each other on the side of our fucking tank? I don't think so.

I don't know if it's like, it's not in the constitution. It's a modern iconic image. That's the same as like the Iwo Jima picture to me, putting the flag down. I've seen a lot of Teslas that suck ass, by the way. Teslas suck, dude. What? Fuck you.

We're about to go to Bob's Big Boy tonight to celebrate. They're good, but they just, I don't know. And the Model 3. They're so soulless. Unless you want to take the Lexus. No, no. My car's horrible. What's that?

For you, it's good. But when I see- Oh, because what? I'm a retard? No, because you's horrible. I thought. But I like, for you it's good. But when I see. Oh, because what, I'm a retard? No, because you're a minimalist. Am I? I guess I am. You are. Yeah.

You're the, I knew when you got a Tesla, it was like the perfect car for you. Because you just don't care. You don't, I've never seen you really give a shit. I want a small amount of things. You don't really care about that type of stuff. So I was like, that's a good car for Ben. You know, you don't even drive, like you don't go on like road trips or anything. I have one pair of khakis yeah the most exciting purchase i've made lately is i found these dress socks i really like that are tommy hill figure and they're kind of the

perfect fitting sock wow because my other socks were too tight you just are david lynch if he had 4chan at 12 that's who you are but tesla's just feel i don't know it's mulholland are but Tesla's just feel I don't know it's Mulholland Drive but it's drive in the drive letters yeah the Ryan Gosling

drive letters he's wearing a scorpion jacket yeah it's a racer head but the baby the baby's a little Pepe in Blue Velvet he finds the ear

and he picks up the ear and whispers the N-word into it. I didn't... When I started that sentence, I didn't know how it was going to end. I couldn't tell. I'm glad I fucking... You got there. When the ball's fucking... You just grab it and dunk it.

Yeah. I got it. That was a good putback. I hurt my hand, but I got it in the thing. That was a putback. Hurt my hand pretty bad on that one. Yeah, hit the rim. But you got to that N-word.

You got there. Man, I would like to shatter the backboard, though. Yeah. That'd be pretty cool. Guys, when us three are podcasting, I feel like we're on the top of Mount Crushmore. Who said that the other day? Where was that from? It was on someone's Instagram.

Oh, okay. God. God, now I remember. who said that the other day who was that from it was on someone's Instagram oh okay god god now I remember you have to edit out 85 minutes no it's just on Patreon I don't remember I look at so many

bad things that I forget which person that was no it's like looking at the dump like you don't see individual tires and soda cans no yeah i'm not making

out the difference between like the sprite bottle and the crushed pepsi bottle no sometimes but sometimes you see like the carcass of a whale and you take notice you go holy shit i've never seen anything like that in my life that is that is like living in this community you'll just like figure out like somebody drives the oscar meyer wienermobile they drive the big hot dog down the street you know there's a guy that like saved up money and he bought that domino's pizza car where it keeps all the pizzas hot but he's not even a delivery guy i didn't know they had that in the cars that's awesome they they i don't know they used to try and sell when i used to buy domino's their website had this like fucking crazy looking car and it made it seem like you like people could buy it really it's just an oven but it's like to become a professional delivery it was like the batmobile for dominoes delivery driver when i

delivered food forever i always had the bag that zipped up with it it was shiny yeah that's it this thing had like a pimp my ride situation for keeping dominoes pizzas hot and the back was just like an oven keep them in there hot and the back was just like an oven keep them in there all night yeah exhibit is just like we heard you want to kill yourself so we built you the domino's pizza car nicocado welcome to your new car it's the only car that comes with the breathalyzer pre-installed dude i fucking dude i don't i don't even drink anymore but i want to get a breathalyzer in my car just because that would be funny just to show off the ladies yeah just to like yeah i'm going

on a date just being like don't worry about it oh seven corolla let me just blow into this for 45 seconds just to show that you're responsible yeah i do know somebody i do know somebody who i know someone who has it too and they blew into it after they were drunk and then they got they went to jail again oh the cops just show up yeah cause they have like 4 deweys or 5 deweys

it just notifies someone to come and be like it's basically breaking your I've never been arrested why'd he get a dewey though if he's doing it to see if he can drive? That's true because he could just be like What if it was.6 and he goes I made it.

Like I'm going to start the car now. At least he was trying to be responsible. It was funny if they would design that that if you blew a.79 the car would just start right up. Also what's the point in having that thing if you can't see how fucked up you are? It's also like he's like, he had like six beers.

He's like, maybe I'll be under. It's like, you're not going to be under. You're not going to be under. I think ignorance is bliss with this one. I think in his head, he's like, I'm going to just see maybe they installed it upside down or something. Where he's like, he thinks he has to blow over 0.08 for the car to start. They just fuck it up. Ruins his life.

They should make it, though, where you could blow over.08, and then it asks you a series of questions to see how drunk you are. Yeah. There should be AI involved with it. It shows you a picture of a fat chick and says, would you have sex with her? It's like a super sexist car. It's Lindy West.

They don't have those in Texas, do they? If you have like a... What is the thing called? Breathalyzer. Breathalyzer. If you blow your breathalyzer in your car in Texas and you're not drunk, a cop comes and calls you gay.

They have a breathalyzer installed on a horse. I do know somebody who's... Gracie's bringing you a stick. It looks like a dildo. Yeah. Katie did buy her a clear plastic stick that looks like a dildo. Um, but I do know somebody whose kid thought for a while that that's how cars start is that you have to,

man, literally the story is that the kid like went to like their grandma's house and like the grandma was like taking them to the mall and goes, grandma, why don't you have to blow into your car?'s how cars start oh man oh that's like a weird that's almost like a jeff foxworthy like blue collar comedy tour joke yeah yeah it's too good though it's it's honest jeff foxworthy by the way do you remember when blue collar comedy tour remember they used to have a sketch show yeah and we watched it on tv oh it was one of my favorites they like they like chapelle show was getting too big and they're like

i think we gotta get one back here boys yeah i don't think we can let this man have all the shine and you know why what were their bits i remember one was like uh redneck uh this is the one i remember it was redneck the Redneck Dictionary that was the one I think you're gonna say the same one I'm gonna say Ascot oh European oh okay I'm gonna do

the Ascot one then you do the European one sure so it was Redneck Dictionary is Ascot and it was like a I think a dictionary opened

this is how I remember it and then it cuts to a sketch where Jeff Fogsworthy's like looking over a casket and I think someone's butt is like looking over a casket, and I think someone's butt is like sticking out, and they go, why did they have to make the casket bigger?

And he goes, because her ass got big. And he goes, ass got. And it's like, did you follow that at all? Yeah, that's it. Now that I'm thinking about it, it made no sense. It doesn't really. It doesn't. People are watching this in a bait shop. That's true.

Or at church camp. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's fine. But it's not as good as skinheads from Maine. It's not as good as the black white supremacist. No, it's not. It's not as good.

No, it's not as great as the two greatest sketch shows of all time. Yeah, the greatest sketch show ever made. It's not as good as early Woody Allen movies, Richard Pryor's first albums.

But I will say is Delta Farce by Larry the Cable Guy is insanely good. Really? Yeah, it's a very great film. It's actually funny? Yeah, it's Larry the Cable Guy, insanely good. Really? Yeah, it's a very great film. It's actually funny? Yeah, it's Larry the Cable Guy,

but he's fighting for the war in Afghanistan. It's Larry the Cable Guy playing Chris Kyle. All right, I'll check it out. Delta Farce. It's Bill Ingvall, Larry the Cable Guy, and I think... I remember hearing about it. DJ Qualls.

The guy from The New Guy. I like DJ Qualls. Very good memory, Chase. Holy shit. Hustle and Flow, too. Yeah, Hustle and Flow is very good. But The New Guy is really. The New Guy.

That's one of my favorite films. Road Trip. Road Trip. When he fucks that big black woman. That was silly because he's all skinny and white and she's all big and black. That was every comic book that was like, what if a big black woman existed that was funny in the early 2000s big mama's house nutty professor yeah there's a lot of that type of stuff well i guess just those three now that i think about it i can't think of any other unless we can think of like three more then we're wrong actually

i can't i can't think but i guess if like three movies come out in one year where that's the premise then it is insane yeah it's like something's in the air even bringing down the house oh yeah yeah the whole point of the movie is like i mean what am i gonna tell the people coming to dinner i mean there's a black woman in the house there's literally like eugene levy's trying to hit on queen latifah by being like yo yo yo you want to smoke crack lady it's like the most racist movie ever, and I fucking loved it as a kid.

It was good? I loved it. Does it hold up? No, but it's so fun to watch still. It's literally like Steve Martin in an Iverson jersey

drinking Henny. At the end, he's trying to fit into a black club, and he's wearing an Iverson jersey, and he has like, one of his socks is high

and the other's low, or his pants, like one of them's high and the other's low. Or his pants, like one of them's high, the other's low. He's like a Yacoub tattoo. These black dudes come up to him like, man, what are you? He goes, man, motherfucker, what you talking about?

Like he does, it's like my dad. That rocks. He might as well be wearing like a zoot suit, you know? He's just Malcolm X in the 40s. It's an amazingly racist movie. There's a whole scene where they have her, they have Queen Latifah be the maid at the house, but she's like, it's like a slave thing. Yeah, an oldah be the maid at the house, but it's

like a slave thing. Yeah, an old timey slave maid. It's crazy. Yeah. That's insane. Queen Latifah, oh my God, I just remembered she was in a movie with Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, Taxi. Yeah, Taxi.

I used to love Queen Latifah. I like the movie. Have you ever seen the movie where she gets diagnosed, she thinks she's about to die? Last Holiday. Last Holiday, maybe. I've seen Last Holiday. Good movie. Great movie. Great movie. But that's another movie. They're ever seen the movie where she gets diagnosed? She thinks she's about to die. Last Holiday. Last Holiday, maybe. I've seen Last Holiday. Great movie.

Great movie. But that's another movie. They're like, big black woman in Sweden. Yeah. What if she was in Sweden where all the good people are? And then what if LL Cool J was trying to fuck the shit out of her? Can you imagine how crazy she'd look in the snow? Some producer just...

Yeah, every movie back then was like, what if we took Lizzo and made her real? So they're like, are they making jokes about her looking like Bigfoot and stuff? Does it go that racist? No, it's a very nice movie. Yeah, it's actually very sweet. It's a very sweet movie, yeah. Are there any jokes like, oh, what's your last holiday, Kwanzaa? Is there anything like that?

No, I don't think it goes that far. But the idea, beneath the surface of it all, but beneath the surface of it all, you're saying, it is. They didn't have like Gran Torino in the middle of it.

It wasn't like Clint Eastwood came in and he goes, what's your last holiday? Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. He's just on the ski lift with her going up.

I'm imagining that happens in the movie, right? There's a ski lift scene she's skiing I think I remember the trailer when I was like 8 but it is

it is funny where they were like yeah there was a lot of racist movie and then you just spew them it was like oh what

like I'm like do they like you're like is there a scene where they say the n-word to throw rocks through her house it's always like

Mississippi burning I get it that was a thing though in movies where like the white guy drops the n-word soft a and everyone's like and she's like oh you can't say that and he's like oh why like in doesn't that happen in movies like that

soft a n-word back in like late 90s that a white guy says it and it's like fine I think I'm trying to think of something but like I specifically remember some sort of scene where that happens I think this'm trying to think of something but like I specifically remember some sort of scene where that happens. I think this is just a memory of you in real life that you're conjuring up. I don't know. It might have been a thing. It was definitely more like

yeah I don't know. No. Like in Coach Carter you want Channing Tatum to say it. Yeah. You want there to be but then you know in Coach Carter there'd be like a teaching moment. Yeah where you go Mr. Cruz. Yeah. We do not use that word. Mr. Tatum.

Mr. Tatum. He goes, no wiggers here. You run 200 suicides for wiggadom right now. I'm pretty sure they say it in Remember the Titans. No. No, I don't think there's a white guy trying to be cool in Remember the Titans that says the N word, but like with the A. I don't even think they said it like that. No, they do not. I's a white guy trying to be cool in Remember the Titans that says the N word, but with the A.

I don't even think they said it like that. No, they do not. I've watched Remember the Titans 500 times. Wait, who's the really fat guy? What's his name again? Ethan Supley. Yeah, he says it. You're thinking of American History X.

Thinking of American History X, dude. Okay, well, that movie they say it. Yeah, but not trying to fit in. But that's what I'm thinking of. They say it with the hard R in American History X. I'm thinking of American History X. In American History X, Ethan Sloupy isn't like, I hate black people,

but god damn, their language is cool. No, remember the times the most I could think of is one scene where the coach throws a banana at Denzel Washington's character.

That's right, and then he gives it back to him after they beat him. Yeah, after they beat him, he gives him the banana back. Fucking love that movie. It's crazy we have racism in this country when that movie came out. Yeah. Just's right, and then he gives it back to him after they beat him. Yeah, after they beat him, he gives him the banana back. Fucking love that movie. It's crazy we have racism in this country when that movie came out.

Yeah. Just watch that movie and be like, yeah, why can't we all just be like, strong side! No less, less, less! I remember hating the movie and thinking it was really gay. Really?

I hated movies about sports. I hated Hoosiers. I didn't like Hoosiers either. Well, Hoosiers is just very white and hokey. Yeah. Hoosiers is like a poem about the art of the bounce pass. Yeah. Hoosiers is like, imagine a two-handed bounce pass so fundamentally sound, it fixes this town.

And there literally is this this Like the final game If I'm Oh there's literally A scene in Hoosiers Where they go play The black school Uh huh And I swear to god

It's like in this Like tight little gym And like the black players Are like punching them And shit And then Gene Hackman Goes it's like A fucking jungle in here

Oh God damn Coltrane And they're the They're the good They're the They're the good guys Yeah They're the small

White farmer community They're the small white farmer community. They're the protagonists. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. But I mean, that was 1982. Damn. Yeah, it's a whole movie about just white guys dribbling like this.

With their hand directly out. Ooh. And they go, he's got the best handles of all time. Yeah. It was back when a really cool move in basketball was dribbling backwards. Just going like, ooh, look at this. Going this way and I'm going that way.

Hey! Hello, my baby. Hello, my... Yeah, it is like those guys. It's always funny when people are like, you know, I know you grew up

watching those NBA films presents or whatever and they're like, Bob Cousy had the greatest handles of all time and it's just him going like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, do, do, do, do, do.

And people will be like dude fucking kairi irving couldn't be popco you're like okay all right pretty sure his head would explode if he saw him the the big thing then was like if you could do a reverse layup that was like uh yeah it was like a 360 if you did a reverse layup they'd be like quit showboating knock it off you could fuck any woman in the town if you could do a reverse layup. You had the pick of the litter. Yeah, yeah. Literally, they're like George Mack in the Grey's Center of all time.

He was 6'3". Strong as an oak tree. He could make a shot from four, maybe six feet away. I used to, my coach made me do mic controls all the time. Where you just have to do layups on either side. It was fucking stupid. Weren't all the players-

Let me shoot threes. Well, it's because it's like- They are from half court. That's the most fun. They couldn't fully commit to basketball because they were all afraid of getting drafted. Yeah. It was those days. You literally, Oscar Robertson would leave and go to war.

They would also all had day jobs. People would play in postman uniforms. Right. Yeah. I'm not making a joke. Weren't all the early basketball players Jewish? No. Weren't a lot of them Jewish?

No. I don't think so. So they were all wasps? I don't know. It was white guys. It was just white people? Yeah. James Naismith. He threw a peach into a basket and then they developed basketball.

Right, but didn't Jews love basketball? Yeah, they do. Jewish people love basketball. That is true. Which is fine i'm not saying anything wrong there's wrong i didn't think you were okay just i didn't i i'm not shooting a glance jews do love basketball but i feel like they got into it when blacks started taking over because jewish people love black like they want to be like their kids of jewish people want to be black yes right you know like the only thing bridging like like the only thing keeping the Jewish community close to Kanye is like the Jewish family's kid that like wears like a dad hat and is

like a producer. Yeah. That Kanye works with. And he's like, I know mom and dad, like he's been saying some crazy stuff, but it's yay. Yeah. The best producers in hip hop are named like Ethel, like Rosenstein or something. But that is true. Yeah, it is's true i don't know if uh jews started i don't think they were did he shorten his name by the way who isn't it based on yahweh kanye he just made it yay yeah but it's just for an album but he also it's also

because of yahweh right oh i don't know about that i have no idea i don't know i don't know if that's true he's too brilliant for me i don't know all these kids today they don't know about that. I have no idea. I don't know. I don't know if that's true. He's too brilliant for me. I don't know. All these kids today, they don't worship Yahweh. Who said that? What is Yahweh again? Who said that? Yahweh is the Hebrew. The Hebrew. By the way, what's Yiddish?

Is Yiddish also Hebrew? It's the Jewish language from Eastern Europe. So when Jews came over from Europe they spoke Yiddish. Yeah. And that's where like the first comedy clubs actually came or the first comedy came from is literally like fucking Yiddish communities up in the Catskills and stuff

and people like Jackie Mason and stuff would go like perform there. And speak in Yiddish? Jackie Mason apparently towards the end of his life he only performed in Yiddish because he was, apparently, towards the end of his life, he only performed in Yiddish. Because he was so big in that community. Interesting. Gracie's trying to pull on the cables.

Get out of here. Retard. She somehow found another ball. That was why I loved Uncut Gems. Because it was just like, finally they made a movie about Jews who love basketball. Finally we have that. But still, there's a money angle. Inevitably.

Adam Sandler loves basketball. Only if he's making money off of it. And diamonds. I mean, come on. The movie's like Jewish like it's like propaganda it is like weird bait yeah

the safety brothers are like daring ya mhm I dare ya go ahead say it I dare ya to notice what the movie's about notice that

yeah we finally made a movie about all the Jews you wanted to see yeah how about that we finally yeah we do have a street called diamond street

you are right apparently all the people in that who aren't those are like actual jewelry dealers yeah they're all just like guys with fucked up faces that work at those places that's why the movie's so good it's just like real psychopath it's just guys who look like they're from 1930 yeah who just have great depression faces safety Safdie Brothers? Safety Brothers? How do you say it? Safdie Brothers.

The people in the movie. All the old guys in Uncut Gems are just like actual old, like fucked up face guys. That's what I've heard, yeah. They did like a Harmony Corinth thing where they found real people that played it. And they got it.

Everyone was pretty damn good. Yeah, yeah. The only guy that was annoying was the young Jewish guy at the beginning. He was very overacting. The guy who leaves to start his like yeah that guy's actually a famous jeweler he does like jewelry for celebrities oh okay so that's why he sucked probably but he's like huge on instagram apparently that furby would

kick ass to own yeah that'll be the patreon goal actually as we all get that for we get that one furby yeah how much is that you think i probably 200. I'll look it up. It's full of diamonds. Because that should be the goal, actually, if we can afford it. Because that would be awesome to just have it on set. We try to buy the gem. We should have that guy make us a Joey's World tour. Oh, you can make a Bob's Big Boy necklace. Oh, that would kick so much ass.

That's good. That'd be great. Ben's just going to watch Nickicada videos real quick. Yeah, what are you looking up at? How much is the Furby at Uncut Gems? And then you just tell me to kill myself.

250 bucks. A24 was selling the Furby necklace for $250, but eBay users are fielding offers for nearly $1,000. Well, that's not real.

JustSafety told Vulture, Jesus, shortly after Uncut Gems opened in select theaters, that creating the Furby pendant was a natural extension of Howard's character. Okay, I don't...

Oh, okay. That was Adam Sandler's character. They're literally like 200 bucks. There's so many diamonds in it, though. They're fake. They're fake diamonds, yeah. Well, obviously. It was like...

But they look real. It's like a Happy Meal toy. Yeah. We're like like that's the that's the hottest ticket in town how much is that four billion dollars actually it's a piece of shit

dude this it cost us three dollars to make if I was very wealthy I would get ripped off constantly by shit because I would try to buy retarded shit where I'm like

well clearly it's worth forty five million dollars clearly there's this one Furby I'm buying stuff on eBay for like seven million dollars you would get into the weirdest It's worth $45 million. Clearly there's this one Furby. I'm buying stuff on eBay for like $7 million. You would get into the weirdest. You would start buying like animation cells of Porky Pig or something like that.

Somebody would sell you Abraham Lincoln's car. You're just getting ripped off. Abraham Lincoln used to drive this Volvo. Gracie, will you fuck off? God. Dude. I love Gracie. I love you.

We all love you. Gracie, we get it. But you can't rip the cords up and stuff. We get it, Gracie. Look at that thing. Look at her work, that thing.

Fucking Magic City's finest right here. You know why she sticks her ass out at people? The strip club in Atlanta. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't understand any of these references.

It's like a Disneyland strip club. Cut out the urban shit, Devin. We are going to... Like urban. Every podcast we start, we're going to have our urban dictionary tab open for Ben. And just Googling, what is a pog? So she's white and her ass is phahat phahat

like how they used to spell funky ph phahat I think who's the you know Donkey Kong sure you think Fubu is a video game character I think Fubu is a video game character? I think Fubu is an anime.

Yeah. Who is the crazy Donkey Kong? Who's the Donkey Kong, but he's clearly, they just made, in Japan, they were like, we want to make a Donkey Kong character blacker than he, Funky Kong. There's a Funky Kong? Have you seen Funky Kong? No. No. No, I have not.

It's so funny that I just typed in, how much is the Furby in Uncut Gems? And now I'm typing in Furby. Now I'm typing in Funky Kong. Your NSA agent has killed himself. There's someone in Arlington hanging from a beam right now because of Ben's Google searches. Oh, yeah.

Here's Funky Kong, look. Oh, he's like gay though. Yeah, I just made him gay. Oh, he's funky. Yeah, Funky Kong, he's like the first Moonlight character. Jesus. Some people say, I'm not even gonna do it. Ooh, imagine if you did though.

Yeah, imagine if I did. You just gotta imagine. So Funky Kong was their idea of like a like a i guess like a is that a funky kong on the cross like a like a hip-hop donkey kong it is but i think they're trying to make i'm i'm doing the reverse math on this i think japanese people tried to make a cool black guy donkey kong that's what i'm saying but they made a gay man in the 1980s you also because they go it's a thug he's wearing like a bandana this is what they're also get this with race

racism i don't think you can if you have a character that's a gorilla you can't do a black version hey japan think it's you're not really allowed that's kind of yeah stop doing that and also when you see black people in your country, don't point at them and take pictures. They're not all Kobe. Have you ever seen the videos of that happening in Japan? Where it's literally just like a black tourist visiting Japan and they treat him like he's a celebrity. Kobe Bryant?

No, just a black guy. Oh, really? A guy named Greg who is visiting Japan. Really? Like there'll be a line around the block to take pictures with the first black guy they've ever seen. Seriously? Yes. Like Mickey Mouse?

It's a big deal. Is it a negative thing? Positive thing? I think it's just like, oh my God. He's so strong. Big black dude. Yeah, that's all. They just fetishize them.

They're all so perverted they're just i don't know i just think it's just like you don't see that in the videos you don't see black people like that in japan yeah they're like it is a half man half a mason but you know what though i don't here's what i don't get about these tales that people tell i've never seen a siamese twin but if i saw one i wouldn't get in the line to take a picture with it okay so why when they see a black person is it like the opening of like uh what would they be into the opening of a new i don't know well apple store yes black culture is kind of the culture that's become the world's culture, through media and music and shit like that. So I think it's just like they feel like they're around the thing that's changed everything.

Interesting. You know what I mean? Hype Beasts, they wear basketball shoes or Adidas. It's all based from hip-hop culture and black culture. It's the opposite of racism, essentially. Yeah, I think it's like, oh my God. It's like admiration. Yeah, reverence.

Reverence, yeah. They're like, it's like when people saw Jesus back in the day and lined up to wash his feet or whatever. Yeah, same thing. When in reality, it's just like, it's not the type of black guy they want. It's like a weird black guy that's into like racing yeah he's in japan yeah it's a guy who watched too much dragon ball z yeah it's like a black guy that like hikes it's vince champ

that's right it's the college comedian rapist that's champ that's right, Ben. The Ted Bundy of comedians. How long did he go away for? Is he in life in prison? Once he gets out, we should have him on the podcast. Let's juggle this. Wait, what'd you say? What'd you say, then?

No, Jace, he finds it ridiculous you're looking up Vince Champ. He's a former American comedian and convicted rapist. It's so funny to look up how much did the Furby cost in Uncut Gems. Then I typed in Funky Kong, and then I typed in Vince Champ. Let's see here. Vince Champ Wikipedia page.

What did they give him? His projected release date is 2033. Whoa. Okay. I'll throw his name in it, potluck. Oh, he's serving 30 to 40 years in the... How many people did he do this to? Oh, tons, tons.

Oh, my God. Dozens, yeah. He hid in bushes out front of college campuses after doing shows and raped women. In bushes? Yeah, like a cartoon? Like a cartoon rapist. Yeah, yeah.

He was like a snidely whiplash. Yeah, he had like an anvil with him. He tied a girl to a tracks and raped her. He had pianos fall on ladies. Yeah, she's describing him to the police sketch artist. She's like, well, he had a big, long, curly mustache and a top hat and a big black coke. Oh, shit, he went to Pasadena City College.

Oh, hey, shut up. Nice alum. PCC. PCC, baby. Dude. to Pasadena City College. Oh, hey, shit. How about that? Nice alum. PCC. PCC, baby. Dude. Nobody do it like we do. By the way, he raped, like, eight women in, like, the span of, like, four months. Then it says, see also, list of serial rapists.

Oh, man, that's a bunch. Guy at the top. 1,000 plus. From 1722. Had a four plus. His name was James Booty. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow, what a horrible crime that guy committed. I'm not going to read that one off. And then this guy committed a thousand rapes. And he killed a bunch, too. His name was Carl Panzram. He was known as the River Pirate. He fucked men, too. Killed five men and boys.

Confessed to killing 21. Wow. How do you feel about the raping and killing of men if you're a guy? Is it worse? I want to come out. I'm against that. It's worse than a rape of a woman and killing her? No, it's not as bad.

Oh. It's not as sick. If we're both being murdered, then I think it's as bad. What do you mean if we're both being murdered then it's i think it's as bad wait what do you mean if we're both being murdered rape the woman don't kill her rape the man kill him it kind of evens out gotcha yeah yeah then they're equal yeah it's like every rectangle is a square every square is not a rectangle exactly exactly i think we got to the bottom all right there we go solved it anyway he raped a thousand people somehow

wasn't he fucking tired how does he have the time well he took breaks triangle triangle out of gatorade literally he's electrolytes yeah he had alpha brain yeah he went to the doctor to like get like medically checked up because he's been raping so much he's like he's like, this knee acts up every time I rape. He had Dr. Scholl's. He had doctors back then. He's like, oh, I'm jealous. 1907.

He bought a Theragun so he could keep going at it. It is also insane to have committed so many rapes. He probably reached a point where he's like, are we going to keep doing this? Just another rape? You're still screaming. Like me eating Burger King. It's like, again, you're going to keep doing this? Just another rape? You're still screaming. Like me eating Burger King. It's like, again, you're going to Burger King. You know, it's not rape if you just like it.

I've done a thousand of these things, and every time, the screaming, the screaming. That kind of proves that if guys don't get caught, it is that great, they'll just keep doing it. Yeah. To them. To them! Yeah.

I've always kind of, this is sick, but i've always kind of this is sick but i've always kind of wondered if these rapists if you were totally calm and into it if it they would leave because they want you like their kink is your fear right and pushing them off and screaming and all that like serial killers like if your serial killer breaks in your house he's gonna like kill you and you just react like not the way that they want maybe their kink is like you're not even fucking running around the house and screaming like that's how i get off to this like if you were like yeah come on fuck me big boy yeah like if a serial killer broke into your house it was gonna kill you if you did like the weirdest thing ever maybe they wouldn't like if you just were like even the serial killer be

like oh you ruined my thing is i need you to be like a human that's afraid. Right. You pull your dick out and start jerking off. He's like, oh, my God. You don't think I do this? Suck my dick, rapist. Like, hey, what a freak. Or you're just like shit on the couch.

And you like pick your turd up and smear it on your face. And you want some of this? You want some of this? Put it in. Huh. You really want me, Dahmer? Even Jeffrey Dahmer's like, oh my God. I need them to be afraid.

I don't even want to drill a hole in your head anymore. That guy was nuts. He's going to either, he's calling up BTK. You would not believe what just happened. Like girls at a slumber party. Yeah, he's like, yeah, Dennis Rader's just like, oh my God, I had one the other day. Total psycho. Total psycho, man. party yeah he's like yeah dennis raider's just like oh my god i had one the other day total psycho total psycho man i didn't even want to skin her and wear her flesh as a suit all the uh jokes aside the physical yeah if we can get serious for a second jokes guys

uh the physicality how do you rape a man in his ass that doesn't want to be raped? Can't you just clench your cheeks and stop it from happening? No, no, no. You got to be strong. Because the guy who, and I've never fucked a man in his ass, or I've been fucked in the ass, been fucked in my mouth. Wink. I haven't been fucked in my mouth.

Wink. Wink. Wink. I haven't been fucked in my mouth. Wink. Wink. What are you alluding to? Wink, meaning I've actually been fucked in my ass. A guy... Just a guy going like, he fucked me in my ass if you catch my drift. Wait, what?

What? What did you do? Wink. The physicality of it, because gay sex is like a, I imagine it's sort of a reciprocal thing. A lady can just sort of lie there. A guy, obviously she has to open her legs, but you can get a lady's legs open if she doesn't want them open I imagine because you're stronger than her. But with a guy

he can just clench his cheeks together and then you can never get your cock in his ass. Am I missing out on something here? I think they beat them. I think you bludgeon him so he's not tensing up. I didn't even think about you do also sound

like you a united states senator right now you do now i understand they have a whole way to shut that down that's one of my favorite quotes of all time a senator what are you talking about there's literally a senator i think i forget his name but he literally was like speaking before congress and he's like now i understand if a woman's getting raped their downstairs area they have the body has a way to shun that down he's literally confusing a woman's vagina with duck vaginas because they have a trapdoor vagina right right yeah i remember that down oh uh was it todd aiken yes that's it todd Akin sunk by legitimate rape remark dies. Oh, he just died.

Aw, rest in peace, man. Did I have COVID? Yeah, you got the vaccine. He got raped to death. Todd Akin still doesn't get what's wrong with saying legitimate rape. That's great, dude. And to the bitter end, he was like, I don't understand why everybody thinks this is retarded.

Looks exactly how you think he would, by akin was uh he had a book if it's legitimate rape the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down he told a saint louis tv station in 2012 so he was doing like morning he was like doing like a morning some woman removed a tissue from his collar and then he goes they can shut it down yeah sorry what are you gonna say devon oh it's from firsthand like like experience for him yeah he's like i've tried they got rape proof pussies they said it's because my dick's too small to rape but that ain't true this is strange legitimate rape is a law enforcement term it's an abbreviation for legitimate case of rape he told chuck todd a woman calls a police station the police investigate she says i've been raped they investigate that so before any of the facts are

in they call it a legitimate case of rape is he fucking autistic is he young sheldon yeah i don't know what he's talking about he's a senator right Yeah. You have to be retarded to become a senator. That's true. It's a requirement these days. It's kind of a requirement, yeah. Who's that Fetterman guy? It's like Son of Frankenstein. It's like running Pennsylvania now, right?

Yeah, it's fucking the elephant man is the senator now. It's like that versus Dr. Oz. It's like a celebrity on TV or a retarded man. Yeah. Herschel Walker, did he win, by the way? Like, a man with a scrambled egg brain is probably one. I have no idea what Herschel Walker's doing, but I know he

has, like, a split personality disorder. Yeah, it's actually very fucked up. Amazing to watch. Chuck Todd rightly pointed out that if Aiken had staffers... Is it Aiken or Aiken? Aiken. If Aiken had staffers who were conceived from rape, then wouldn't that disprove his theory that women can shut that whole thing down?

Yes, according to logic. But all Aiken had to say was, I believe that little children are special. So he's like, let me handle this one. I'm a pedophile too. That's like worse. It's worse. He's in trouble for his words on rape,

and they're like, what are you going to say? And he goes, I love little boys. He goes, I'm pro-life because they're so hot, y'all. They're so sexy. It's like him trying to get rid of the hot potato, and he just hits a kid in the head. He's just trying to move it along. It's him trying to get rid of a hot potato,

and he says, I want to fuck kids. And he's still holding the potato. It's burning trying to get rid of a hot potato. He says, I want to fuck kids. And he's still holding the potato. It's burning his flesh. He's like, no, I want to molest them. Why isn't it working? Damn. This damn potato is so hot. I've tried everything.

I'm a pedophile. Violent. There's also... There was, I think... There was a guy in the House of Representatives who said... He was talking to a military advisor about some base on an island somewhere.

Yeah. And he goes... He literally said this. He goes, Now, I have a question. He goes, I understand that we have a lot of people we're putting on the space my worry is

we put too many people on one part of the island and the island will tip over and the the are you serious yeah i'm dead serious i'm not trying to do like bill maher like politics eyes at you but what the fuck i'm dead serious and the the like the guy in like the military uniform who's like just killed brown people his whole life he goes what are you talking about he goes the island if you get it too much on one side it could flip over into the ocean and the guy to be like i i have to let you know senator that um islands are not floating discs that can flip over and so he's like i see well no further questions your honor i hate to be the guy that's like like idiocracy, but what the hell. It is.

It's such a banal comment to make, but Mike Judge is such a genius. Yeah, people are degrees away from watering the grass with Powerade. You can just like anyone can just become a setter, can't they? Like there's not. No, truly. It's like you should go to the DMV. Yeah, I think it's like if you want to become like a mason, like a free's not, no, truly. It's like going to, you just go to the DMV. Yeah, I think it's like, if you want to become

like a Mason, like a free Mason or whatever, I don't think it's that. You have to pay like a dues. I don't think it's like a bit, like a very exclusive club. I mean,

Fetterman won legitimately wearing basketball shorts to every campaign rally, which does kind of rule. Yeah, he seems, you know,

I don't know what's going on in that mind. He's a big Nine Inch Nails fan, which I like i like i like that i'm sure he's a really good guy just he can't speak it's just weird that we have politicians that like had a stroke a week ago and they can't talk yeah the guy who looks like the giant from big fish and he can't speak or the guy from twin peaks i think same guy same maybe possibly and then lauren bo babbert and these people what are they doing like like they're like they like represent like states and they like you know they're on like only fans shoving

like ar-15s up their pussy and shit i don't even know what's happening they say a crazy thing every week and on the left too i'll tell you devin don't do it oh shit i didn't even tell you guys i wish i would have talked about this on the main but i didn't tell you. Devin, don't do it to us. Oh, shit. I didn't even tell you guys. I wish I would have talked about this on the main, but I didn't tell you guys about the Jordan Peterson show I went to. Oh, yeah. Please talk about that. It was amazing.

It was like a battered men's shelter. It was amazing. It was everything I wanted. Where did you see him? In Riverside, California. Wow. What was he doing? He was buying Oxy.

Dude, the lights were off. Me and Kurt got there like 45 minutes late. And so there was only like 45 minutes left. So we just saw the Q&A where he's sitting there with Tammy, his wife. And he's just like saying, you know, kind of, he's just like, it know kind of he's just like it's like a dog chasing its tail but has all the terms you know i'm smart enough to know what he's talking

about in terms of all the campbell stuff right he's just going the monomyth doesn't have trans people in it he kind of here's the weird thing about the q a's he doesn't answer questions early jordan was much better. Now he kind of just keeps jumping from A to B where it's like a weird Plinko. It used to be like a weird Plinko thing where the disc drops and hits all the things and it ends up in the... And now it just kind of goes off in every direction, but he's still doing the trick. So he's not...

But if you're actually paying attention, you're like, he's not really getting back to the... He's not pwning anybody. He's not really getting back to the he's not pwning anybody he's not he just that's why it's not fun anymore because the fucking i know the green-haired dip shits aren't showing up and then he's just like pwning them i think jordan needs to jordan needs to revitalize his career by going on wild and now shapiro he should just him versus uh spanky jordan peterson debating Matt Rife. I did not just shimmy away from you. Dude, I finally,

from my own kin in my seat, I scanned the room and I didn't see who I wanted to see. But then when the lights come on, I finally saw the who I wanted to see but then when the lights come on I finally saw the man I was looking to see there was a 600 pound man

in a three piece suit in the audience oh man it was awesome made out of six pieces sorry sorry mine is great hell yeah dude three piece suit I'm sorry I tried to

sound myself he's like two he's two bow ties on yeah he's like four pocket watches they're edible he has gold pocket watches edible he's wearing he's wearing bow tie pasta oh that rocks

he's wearing bow tie so has JP kind of like lost his way though because he hasn't really made as much sense to me no no he's still uh he's still an intellectual and he's still smart he's just not as good as he used to be when i watched his older stuff like and i don't know maybe he was just having an off night i think the rate i think the public scrutiny got to him and he got a little angry. And it's never good to get angry when you're a really smart guy. Just clouds judgment.

Exactly. So he had a few, I remember seeing a few clips where I was like, oh, he's coming off annoying to me because he's just precisely, you're like, dude, they're gonna just hate you more

because now you're talking to somebody that way. He's showing his bottom teeth and going, you bloody bastard. Yeah. You don't get it. Yeah. I'm going to cry. And the crying too.

He just turned into like the right wing Jimmy Kimmel. Just fucking every night. Yeah, it's not great. I was surprised in the picture you posted. He looks like a handsome guy actually. He looked good.

Yeah, it's that all meat diet. Yeah. He's not going to bob's like we are yeah yeah which i can't wait to go to god damn it i do want to i do want to finish this okay uh found the 600 pound guy in the three-piece suit i was like all right i got what i wanted out of this hopefully i get a picture so then i went backstage i met jordan very nice i told him his work means a lot to me which i felt like was a nice thing to say and uh he which he seemed uh through the because i know it's a it's a whole he did like 400 meet and greets but he's he's backstage with like me and kurt and some right wing kid who i have a i have i'm friends with now sure his name's uh trinkle or something he goes on uh tucker carlson or something i don't know it seems like a nice guy cool i went to his twitter he goes on tucker

carlson a lot it seems like a lot of people hate him i don't know i don't know anything i don't keep up with anything anymore he could be a nazi i'm not sure maybe i'll find out in due time but anyway we were eating nuts together backstage at uh the jordan peterson show but anyway jordan uh was very nice i talked to his wife tammy she was very nice. I talked to his wife, Tammy. She was very nice. None of that was funny. Then I get to go to the secret Q&A for the hardcore Jordan Peterson fans that pay even more money for the after show. When Jordan comes back out and there's maybe 50 people in the entire theater. And I couldn't have been more excited for this. What do they do?

It was insane. Kurt left and he was so mad he had to leave. I think he had a spot at the store or something. It was, dude, first guy, swear to God, stood up and said, as someone in the pickup industry, that's how he starts his fucking question. In the pickup industry? He's a pickup artist i was like you where i was like wait pick up and i was like holy you were like fuck this guy does day game yeah he brought up how good he was at day gaming and his thing i couldn't i thought i was

being like pranked i was looking around to see if anybody else was smiling it was a total it was a guy in a three-piece suit really sincere like a fat andrew tate looking like a guy i couldn't tell by the way uh the idea that it's all white people there whites were the minority no in the theater it i sat next to a guy who looked like osama bin laden like the exact next to a six five muslim i sat next to a 6'5 Muslim man I sat next to a 6'5 Muslim guy with a beard like walking with a cane like in his 30s with a hot ass Asian chick

like amazing yeah yeah yeah these are the best these guys get so much pussy the idea that none of them get laid is insane I don't know if you remember his early videos on YouTube

the people defending him when he would like be like you know in like a Mortal Kombat match with like a trans person like out front of the class yeah finisher all the people that were on his side with like a trans person like out front of the class.

Finish her. All the people that were on his side were like Indian kids and like it's everybody. It's an ideology. It's not like a race of people that's versus one, you know. Sure, sure. But either way, I mean, you got to give it up to these guys because they get tons of pussy. What did Jordan Peterson say to the pickup artist?

Oh, wait, were we going to ask Jason? No, no, finish your story. I had a whole different thing oh okay yeah do you also meet jordan no i literally had a jordan peterson thing happen before i came here oh did you really not that i met him i don't think this is gonna be a huge payoff it's just funny that it happened the day after you met him i was at the we work and i'm just sitting on the couch it's like a communal thing and uh these two like hispanic like hot mid-20s Hispanic women were just like working. It's like WeWork. It's a bunch of companies there.

And this like older, dumpy guy in his late 30s, white guy comes in. Apparently he's their manager. And they're like, oh, Steve, we didn't know you'd show up today. And he was like, yeah, you know, I just had to make a quick trip to the office real quick and then they're like what are you doing this weekend and he goes i'm actually going to uh see a speaker um this weekend and they're like who and he goes um it's actually it's kind of a controversial guy but it's jordan peterson and i'm gonna say it's dr jordan peterson he goes it's dr jordan b peterson emeritus dds esquire and they go they go oh they go they they both go oh i Jordan B. Peterson, Emeritus, DDS, Esquire.

And they go, oh, they both go, oh, I love Jordan Peterson. I was like, what? And then he's like, yeah, you know, actually, I listen to him on a lot of podcasts. You know, I listen to him on Rogan, love Rogan. And then they're like, we love Rogan. And I was kind of like, what is going on? And then they talked for maybe five more minutes, and then he left. then both of them were just like what a fucking dumbass retard like we had to start roasting him literally like started roasting him they're like you fucking got into a Jordan Peterson thing fucking idiot they're just lying to him yeah they're just

like because he's their boss yeah so they're just like being nice because they need jobs great I love that he thinks he's like uh it's like gg allen to him he's like it's a pretty controversial guy it's captain kangaroo it's a pretty well i'm gonna go see a hardcore show in a basement it's jordan b peterson it's gonna be talking about how if you want to kill yourself you need to make your bed like you're seeing fugazi yeah yeah uh okay so the guys the guy's question at the jb jbp show he stood up and like at some point like i didn't realize all these guys got so much pussy i was expecting one guy to stand up and be like hey jordan uh what do you do if you like get way too much pussy and he just sits back down and jordan just thinks for a moment he's like well it depends how you

define too much because too much of something is defined by the word too like I mean sure right I also get too much pussy so I can relate dude he made a weird dig when I walked in

where he made a joke to his wife where he made a joke about how he had a higher intellect than her oh okay and she was on stage with him

like reading off questions on her phone for the q a for the regular show and uh everybody laughed and she clearly got very uncomfortable and like turned red and then she reached over and she did that thing where which i've done before where like you you like drink some water just because you're super uncomfortable with some shitty fucking thing someone said yeah this guy's is like a joke. And then you go, like I could read,

I've been in that situation. I'm like this poor woman. Yeah, her husband's like the lord of jacking off. And now he's like shitting on her. He is a lawyer for getting no pussy. Yeah. King Jackoff. So an architect for building goon stations this uh this guy stands up and he says as someone in the pickup industry

which was amazing it was amazing music to my ears once i realized that he said so i i day game a lot and it's unbelievable he goes it's uh you know part of the reason that's how i found my wife and i have my wife and my daughter we're still and he's using all the academic terms that would break my brain if i use them he was saying like legally separated but still uh like you always use scientific terms rather than just talking like a fucking right human being yeah yeah it's like he was presenting to the court. Yeah. Because he's presenting his life to Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.

Yeah. And he says that basically his wife wants him to stop being a pickup artist so he can be a great father to this daughter of his, who's three, who he claims to love more than anything. He's also in love with this lady, but he goes, yeah, she doesn't like that I day game all the time. So he still does it even though he's with somebody? Correct.

Because he goes, as a pickup artist, this is why my wife was attracted to me in the first place, is being a pickup artist, and it's what I'm meant to do, is to be in the pickup industry. And he goes, and I have tons of clients who are very satisfied with my practices and i can't stop teaching these guys how to day game swear to god swear to god swear to god swear to god and jordan stops and goes i don't think i exactly understand your question but he goes could you repeat it again he stood back up took the microphone and then said the entire question again and we're all like oh my god and then he

sat back down and jordan was thinking for a second i swear to what i'm about to tell you i swear to god happened he stood back up he goes and full context for my situation i do have a mixed martial arts background was it andrew tate that guy kicked so much ass and then jordan told this interesting thing about how you know well women uh he's like women want to tame uh they want a beast they can tame when you think about beauty and the beast uh they're not attracted to kastan because he's just a psycho has a psychopathic personality so that isn't someone you're actually attracted to you're attracted to the actual beast himself and i believe there was a study done i looked it up the studies bullshit he goes i believe that because it was interesting because i believe there was a study done whether the the five people that women have the most sexual fantasies about are five occupations it's

astronaut it's a surgeon pirate uh what billionaire occupation billionaire and i was like like two other insane oh vampire and werewolf was the five yeah the classic two of men the top five he claims the top five sexual fantasies of women involve pirates, billionaire, surgeon where it's someone who's incredibly dangerous that they can then tame and this was his whole point about which he probably has

why is Elon Musk on the screen? I hate that he had like two kids with like a laptop anyway he fucked the laptop he fucked his ram when the kid came out. So that was his whole thing, and he kind of wandered off, and he didn't really... He goes, I'm not going to tell you...

I'm not going to give you advice, because I don't fully understand the context of your situation. It's like, dude, you can't... You obviously can't, like, fuck 40 girls a day and still be happily married. It makes no sense. The guy's an idiot. It's my business, though.

This is my livelihood. I have clients. I have clients that I take out day gaming. If I don't get pussy, I don't get money. I don't make shmoney. You're kidding. Money is hard. Yeah.

See, because if I don't pick up baby girls I don't get shmoney for me pussy and shmoney are one in the same dog the more I fuck the more I make and that's what

my baby girl don't get and it's also funny but it's also funny that he's like wearing a top hat he looks like Abraham Lincoln because he's doing

the fucking hardest stuff I can smell the pussy from here yeah it's also funny He just stands up He's like my lady To Tammy Peterson He's like and sir

And you figure out that guy has never had sex before It's also funny Jordan My personal friend Jordan It's funny that him just like any question He's like you have to think about beauty And the beast It's just a guy who's got no pussy. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, well, I'm the little mermaid. Which is interesting. You have to be like the brave little toaster. He was little, but he was brave. Dude, everybody at this show, though, I swear, walked like they had pussy falling out of their pocket. Like it was coins.

Very common. Like they just looted a bank. They were walking around like they had. They was coins like they just looted a bank they were walking around like they had they got pussy everywhere they looked well if you here's the thing is like if you make it your life's goal to get pussy it's not that hard to be a pussy guy yeah everybody we know that loves pussy doesn't get pussy you just have to be committing to being a sociopathic autistic idiot like you literally like if yeah if you're dressing like fucking you you're the mayor of candy land and you're picking up mentally retarded women outside of bars it's like yeah you're gonna get a lot of pussy congratulations like who's his wife his

wife deserves a lifetime of him being a day game guy she's obviously like a buffoon she's a retard you're an idiot you got picked up by a fucking moron in the meat section of Vons and he had like a drone filming him because he posts his day game on YouTube and monetizes it. Pathetic. It's like fucking, it's like you got picked up by a guy that like used to love Warhammer.

Oh man. I'm trying to think if anything else happened. The Osama Bin Laden guy, 600-pound guy. It's a battered men's shelter. No. That's kind of it. That's about it. That's pretty good.

Nothing else really happened. Oh, wild night. But I got to... I got a line in that it seemed to mean a lot to him because everybody else asked retarded questions of him. What'd you ask him? No, I just said... I just shook his hand.

I said, hey, your work means a lot to me. of like came out of his trance cuz it's just not stop he's fighting his drug addiction that he was I talked to Kurt about that drug addiction he had he says the hardest thing to beat and it kills people constantly because he was a Benzo's he said it kills people when they try to get off withdrawals it's like a six-month withdrawal mm-hmm and he's touring like crazy. He did a three-hour show and then a Q&A after. He did it as long as until they had to close the theater legally.

He looked incredibly exhausted, and he was still insanely nice. When do these people use their money? Well, he got a shitload of money. I know the exact dollar amount he got from Daily Wire, but I don't think i can uh maybe yeah i would legally not say that it's millions of dollars but just all these people that are figures and grifters and i like jordan peterson enough but um he has a shitload of money when does any when do they ever do anything yeah he doesn't seem like he cares buy a hot air balloon have a little fun yeah he would be a hot air balloon. Have some fun. Have a little fun. He would be a hot air balloon guy. Yeah, of course he would. He looks like a captain of one.

He would definitely have a Zeppelin. He'd be trying to bring Zeppelins back. I wonder if our camera can even record this long. Yeah, it's still recording. We're almost at two hours. We're at hour 43. I really have to piss, by the way. Yeah.

Want to wrap it up? Wow, it's like an episode of Joe Rogan. This is crazy. Wild. Well, I love in the podcast when they have to go pee yeah it is funny that oliver stone like every five minutes on that episode had to go take a piss when he did joe rogan inflamed he has an inflamed prostate from reading like the jfk declassified files yeah yeah from just not going to the bathroom for 20 years

yeah because he's a freak yeah from just getting just getting exposed to Agent Orange in Platoon. I do love him though. Yeah, he's a crazy guy. He's doing good work. He's a man of the people. I hate his movies, but... His movies are terrible. Movies suck my ass.

Oh my God, I'm a huge fan of you, Oliver Stone. Your movies suck ass. Thank you for making bad movies and then having the power to try and uncover what happened to JFK.

That's what I tell him backstage. I can't... I don't... I always remember the first time I watched Natural Born Killers, I and uncover what happened to JFK. That's what I tell him backstage. I can't, I don't, I always remember the first time I watched Natural Born Killers, I said, what a piece of shit.

I can't believe somebody ruined a Tarantino script this badly. That's what I said to myself. Anyway, handed gold. Thank you for your work.

I literally remember, it was like one of the first times because you know, you're a kid and you're always like, oh, it's a new, critically acclaimed movie to watch

and I put on Natural Born Killers. It was the first time I put one of those on. I was like, this sucks. I've tried to watch it like 10 times. I can't get past the first five minutes. I know. It gets to the Rodney Dangerfield part, and I'm like, I hope everybody in this dies.

I hate it. Platoon might be the only movie that's worth a shit. Yeah, Platoon's great. Platoon's great. But any given sunday is pathetic and before closing i do want to say for anybody who thinks i'm like a jordan peterson stan or something i thought it was funny to go me and kurt were crying laughing at the idea of putting on shitty ill-fitting suits and going to meet jordan peterson it was the it was making us laugh so hard

great to dress uh dress like uh uh i said gk chesterson that author jace the guy who wrote uh the man who was thursday yeah uh have you seen what gk chesterson looks like yeah he looks like fucking um martin van buren like he walks around with like a jeweler's loop on his eye and shit like it's it's crazy we were crying laughing at the idea of going to the jordan show so that's why i went so don't think some people got mad some people dm'd me and got mad that i had a picture it's like it's funny what what is he obviously funny what did he do to anybody jace what did he do he fucking tells people like how to fix the curvature in their dick it's like who gives a shit he's like oh you have to jack off with the other hand even out the curvature you have to sleep on the other side. Sleep on the other side.

Many men, they try to. They fuck mangoes. It's called death grip and you can't come inside a woman anymore. Not good, the death grip. You need to buy a pocket pussy. You can get them molded. You can get like Asakira pussy.

Ass, what have you. Oh, jeez. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye. what have you oh jeez okay alright bye bye I'm sorry. Thank you.