lemonparty - 023: wingstop depression

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty www.buyraycon.com/lemonparty Mad Trip Designs is the one man operation run by Michael Doherty from St. Louis, MO. If you are a comedian or a musician looking for poster art, album artwork, or merchandise designs, visit www.madtripdesigns.com to contact Michael for a free quotation. Michael also has fine art prints and merchandise available for sale on the site. www.metapcs.com use code lemon for 2% off ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 #lemonparty #lemonpartypodcast #benavery #jaceavery #devancosta Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

check one one two because all all women you know want to have sex with their fathers and so the more you look like their father and that's exactly where the show begins yeah women want to have sex with their father i didn't know we were recording but i've i can attest i've gotten most pussy in my life from women with um issues with their parents yeah they're blind and i tell them i'm their dad you're doing an old testament kind of thing what well that was that was the thing in the old testament a guy uh a couple ladies i think tricked their dad into having sex with them you're thinking of he was blind you're thinking of lot i think well yeah it was or abraham oh i think it was abraham abraham who

after they fled sodom and gomorrah you know that one, where his wife turned into salt. That was long. Right. Because they were running from the God burned a city down because everybody was a gay guy. Yeah. And he burned it down. There is a story in the Bible. It's the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, where we get sodomy from.

That is right where sodomy came from, right? That's just anal. Right. That's right. I've never understood how that's a crime. Yeah. It was a crime in England for Oscar Wilde went to jail. Because in the States,

people would be like, oh, he was charged with sodomy in 87. And I'm like, I don't understand. How's that? It's rape, right? Or can you go to prison? Is there a judge that's like, life, anal.

Yeah. Gross. Gross. That's where shit comes out of. Put him away. I don't know if it's a modern offense but if it was it'd probably be rape but back in the old days they were literally they called it buggery in england so if you were caught with shit on your dick you would go to english prison you bugger yeah oh you're just a little gnat flying around the poophole just flying around you want to you want a little bible story real Flying around the poop hole. Just flying around.

You want a little Bible story real quick? Please. So Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham and his wife. What was that dumb bitch's name? It's Lot and Sarah. Oh, yikes. What was his wife's name? I don't know.

Apparently, Jace knows the story. His wife was Sarah, I believe. And so the story was that God looked down. He's like, there's way too many gay guys here. Yeah. So we've got to burn this whole city the mayor was like randy rainbow it was just a whole it was just castro street as one city okay in biblical times by the way in the bible it makes it sound like basically these people are living in hell what if it was like some sort of like like a paradise on earth oh i'm sure it's probably

awesome every street is like Broadway. Everybody values art. It's high fashion. We only have co-op owned farmer's markets. Yeah. It looked like Iran in the 60s. It's just amazing. God's like,

oh my God, they're so gay. Look at them. Hot on the beach. Look at them. Everybody has abs. I hate it. They're making me look bad

with my normal God body. So then, is that where they say flaming gays too? Because like God lit them on fire and shit? Probably. I don't know. Honestly. I don't know where that came from. So God came to Lot and he told him, he goes, I'm going to destroy the city.

Get out. And Lot's like, don't. There's a lot of good gay guys here. Don't destroy the city. And God was like, if you can find 10 good non-gay people i won't destroy the city and then god's like an easter egg hunt yeah right and then god sent two angels to sodom to visit lot and all the people in sodom the sodomites tried to fuck the angels because they saw them go into lot's house and they go those are two hot guys who haven't been raped yet

in sodom it was like if aliens just landed and all we tried to do was fuck them right as soon They saw them go into Lot's house and they go, those are two hot guys who haven't been raped yet in Sodom. It was like if aliens just landed and all we tried to do was fuck them. Right. As soon as they land, we start masturbating. We would. In the story, there's just a bunch of guys who look like Matteo Lane just banging on the door. And they go, let us fuck those angels. And Lot's like, you can't.

They're angels. You can't fuck them. There's an angry mob in the street of people. It's like the DM And while it's like you can't, they're angels, you can't fuck them. Like there's an angry mob in the street of people. It's like the DMV. There's like a line around his house for people to fuck the new thing because they're sick of fucking

what they've been fucking. Yeah. They're looking for a new thing to fuck. If an alien lands, immediately they go, I'm going to put my penis in that. Yeah, they go, look, new holes on the horizon.

Here there's new holes out west. I hear new holes on the horizon. Yeah, there's new holes out west. I hear new holes are landing. There's a whole mountain full of poon, lacks of which you ain't never seen. No, so they're banging on the door, and Locke goes, don't fuck the angels. Here's my daughters.

And he gave his underage daughters for the crowd to fuck. And they're like, we don't want to fuck them because they're not hot angel guys. Interesting. And this is the inspiration for Chinatown. Devon, I think you're very slightly out. Slightly out? Yeah, there you go. I think as long as you're there, then you...

Now you can lean back. Can I lean? Yeah, you're still in it. All right. I like leaning. Devon needs a little lean. I need to lean. Maybe lean like this.

Maybe lean that way. There you go. Like this? Yeah, now you're good. Kick him around with your foot. There you go. Boo! Keep it away from me.

We're talking about queens. I'm like, Devin, you're not. Look at this. You're slouching. What? I want it to be an educational show. The turn of the World Trade Center into hummus. This is when Ben closes his eyes is what he sees on the inside of his eyelids yeah

this is all of ben's dreams it's just weird 3d renderings of 9-11 you dream the news report from the day of 9-11 yeah not even dreaming about it oh like when i go to bed i watch all nine hours yeah on a projector in my head it plays on on a wall. Yeah, you dream, and it's the day they wield those TVs into class. You just watch Brian Gumbel be like, well, it seems like an accident. Yeah, Ben goes to sleep. He just counts the falling men instead of sheep. He goes, one,

two. He's a sick fuck. He's a sick bastard. At the end, it fades to black, and it says, directed by the Coen brothers. They're the only Jewish directors I can think of. I had to say it. Woody Allen. Steven Spielberg. It could have been Woody Allen.

How about created by Dick Wolf at the end of 9-11? Is Dick Wolf Jewish? Probably. I don't know. I think he probably goes after Jews. He's a real wolf. I think my headphones keep going out. Oh, sorry.

Oh, so, Jace, you got to finish the tail, though. So then with Sodom and... So then they... Oh, Jace, you're stepping on your... You're stepping on your courtyard. Sorry, I'm being a real Gracie. They're not in here right now. Where are they?

Who knows? They're trying to get to the gay people. So God came to Lot and he goes, okay, everybody was too gay. They tried to fuck my angels. So you and your family need to get out. But don't look back when I'm destroying Sodom and Gomorrah or something horrific will happen.

And then they're fleeing the city and then they hear this destruction behind them lot's life what lot's wife looks back at like just fire and brimstone coming from the sky and she gets turned into a pillar of salt and dies huh yeah okay and then lot takes she fucks her for a while and then throws her away yeah because she's just's just all salt. It's really, it's one of the shittiest books ever written, I feel like. It sounds like

Fifty Shades of Grey. Well, the Old Testament is, it's ridiculous and gay. It's ridiculous horse shit. If you're going, if you're going by the Old Testament at all,

I mean, I thought the Old was the one that had the most cool shit. I think the Old one is kind of where if you, if you try to be very critical of the text,

it seems they're talking to the devil the entire time, and they think it's God. God tells them to kill people and go out and eye for an eye and all that shit. He just tells them to be violent, and then it totally switches in the reboot. I never differentiated any of them. It was just really boring shit I had to learn in school. But I remember I took Bible literature class my freshman year of high school because I had to.

And I was open to God and Jesus, and I didn't know anything. But I wasn't raised on it at all. So I was like, all right, I'll catch what you're throwing out there. Let me read this thing a little bit. Sure, East of Eden, I get it. Yeah, of course. I loved mafia movies, so I kind of liked going to mass. I felt like I was like, you know.

You pretended you were in Mean Streets. Exactly. I pretended like I was repenting, like, Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Like, you know, Vinny owes me money. You were repenting for fake crimes to a guy you didn't believe in. I liked Catholicism because, like, the end of The Godfather, the bells ringing, and there's a lot of hits happening. A lot of guys getting shot.

You want to get baptized just so you can, like, hair back with a comb i love it i love scenes like that i love scenes i love i love a bad a evil person watching his baby get baptized for the first time and you know he's about to become really bad sure you know so i just associate a religion with like uh violence and gang members and like i thought i i knew like a lot of mexican guys in my neighborhood that were like kind of in gangs and they always had the cross on them. And I was like, Allen Iverson has a cross on him. I'm like, man, cool people are religious.

You thought the Catholics were like the Crips. Yeah. Devin's like smoking a cigar in church. He's bringing his own pot of spaghetti. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Sunday gravy. So, and then I remember but then every story my Bible lit teacher

would teach us and read us was like it was all about like angels like raping people and shit in a town yeah wrestling with an angel yeah and I remember one day my mom was like how's class and I was like how's you know how are you feeling with the Bible lit class and I'm like I don't know i mean mom i'm trying to get into it but it's just

they just everyone keeps getting raped all the time it's a lot of race you started like cackling in the car and it's well yeah the follow-up to the uh sodom and gomorrah story is in there in a cave and uh the daughters uh fuck the blind yeah lot gets uh too drunk and he passes out and then his daughters they pretend to be you know when Bugs Bunny would like put on a dress like they did that to him yeah his daughters came in with a big coconut bra and a mop wig

just the fact that's like they were even talking about anal in the bible is hilarious it's like remember you know ecclesiastical 316 Bukkake and Johnson Sodom and Gomorrah Christ said stick to three categories Remember, you know, ecclesiastical 316, Bukkake and Johnson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sodom and Gomorrah.

Remember when Christ said stick to three categories? You can have a few search words and that's it. Cream pies and Ezekiel. 314. Ezekiel, when he came down from the mountains and said, traps aren't gay if you can't see their cock. If they look enough like a woman and there's no cock, it's not gay. Who can forget Bang Bus and Josiah?

And God said to the Israelites, you don't mix the semen. You can do a train, but a gangbang is gay. God said to the Israelites, that's fake cum coming out of that monster of cock. It's soap. It's soap, my son. If he keeps holding the base, it's a fake cock. If he never lets go, it's an obviously fake cock. Look at him. Look at the thumb work.

He's shooting soap out of the head. Son. Son. I'm God. I'm God. Yeah, the two tablets just had every porn category from X videos. He goes, and commandment one, ebony. Commandment two.

I do love that they still call it ebony. They call it ebony. Commandment two. I do love that they still call it ebony. They call it ebony. Yeah. These are your search words. Right. They call it ebony like you're reading Jet Magazine. I know. Like I'm Scatman Crothers in The Shining.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just says, I think that's my goal is if the patron gets big enough, I'm going to get Scatman Crothers bedroom from The Shining. That'd be awesome, yeah. When they pull out and he's freaking out, it just like it's like pam greer with her tits out just hanging behind yeah yeah just a bunch of like blaxploitation like posters and shit yeah basically like quitting tarantino's doing now that's what i'm wearing like a kangol cap that type of thing yeah i'm gonna start dressing like samuel jackson in 2004 yeah you start dressing like ordell robey from jackie brown

it's weird it's weird that sodomy used to be illegal though back in the day you wonder if like in the future as we become more progressive if other things that are illegal now will eventually become because the whole like sexuality is is fluid throughout history, right? Sure, yeah. My girlfriend's told me that. Well, but it's like the Spartans, right? You know, the Battle of Thermopylae and all that stuff. You see 300? Yeah, I've seen 300. Yeah, it's that.

Speak in Zack Snyder films for me, please. I don't know the Battle of Thermopylae, whatever the fuck you're saying. It was when the 300 of those guys fought the Persians and there were tons of them. Okay, right. So you had the Persian army coming. When the guys from 300 fought that hot topic army from Persia. And that, those, it's Athenian, right?

They're Athens soldiers or something like that? I don't know. Anyway, I think they were a wider shade than the Persians. I'm not sure what was really going on there. Persians are the original white people. They're the most Caucasian on Earth. Did not know that. Yeah. Did not know that.

I think so. Pretty sure Persians are fully white. We just, you know, we ruined their country and we put like towels on their heads and shit and then we like left and we're like, no, you're fucking, you're annoying. That's how we colonize countries is we give them hookahs. We give them hookahs. Yeah. Start talking like, and then we'll bomb you.

Get a mild sunburn. Get obsessed with rugs. Quite frankly, you're not bombable yet. Please be a little more unfun. John Wick would never kill you. Just a general doing the paper bag test. He goes, we can't bomb him yet. They're not even olive skin.

Just holding up that family guy Peter Griffin meme of the different shades. Yeah, that's the paper bag test. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did not know it was called that. Yeah. Learn something new every day being racist. Just setting up your big clip compilation.

No, hold on. What clip compilation? The one where it says Ben Avery's a vicious racist. Just setting up your big clip compilation No hold on What clip compilation? The one where it says Ben Avery is a vicious racist Anthony Camilla will always be Just light years actually ahead of me So it's fine Right but that's like comparing yourself to Adolf Hitler

You're like well I didn't kill six million Anthony's in a lab right now Inventing new types of racism Like pouring things in beakers There's a chalkboard And he's like He's got a big N equals He's like an alchemist

For just racism He's trying to disseminate things Into their purest form He's riding on a chalkboard With a gun With chalk at the end of it Using the gun to hold the chalk It ends with him

Like digging up Patrice's grave and like getting it making it struck by lightning and stuff yeah yeah uh wait what were we saying oh the the the spartans they what i'm saying is sexuality is fluid uh uh so then it was feminine to have sex with a woman because she's a woman but it was masculine to have sex with a woman because she's a woman but it was masculine to have sex with a man so if you were having sex with your if you were anal sex with your brother it would make you stronger together as warriors essentially right and so then you have that sort of blood uh bond from having sex with one another and then later it's you know it's feminine to have sex with a guy so now if you have sex with a guy you're like it's like like it's not masculine at all

when it totally in terms of like a physical thing it's a lot harder to fuck a man i feel like much harder yeah you can't just lay there no they're strong no yeah fucking a man's like an obstacle course yeah like if you fuck a guy you should be like a police officer afterwards. It's like you pass an exam. That should be, it should be like a, like a, what's that? American Ninja Warrior. It's American Ninja Warrior. You should have to fuck a guy at the end.

At the end of it, you go into a man's ass. After you swing across slime and all. Guy's just nailing it like hooks and ladders. And then he just gets to the end. He's like, just having to beat off real quick. So he can spit on his dick and fuck a guy.

Like when you get to the top of Everest, you should have to bang like an old like Nepalese man in the ass. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, one Sherpa. He's the one Sherpa they fuck.

You have to fuck your Sherpa. Mm-hmm. He's like not into it at all. He's just like, well, you know. He's like, this is the Americans. They always rape me. They come here with their Subarus and they rape me. Just driving a Subaru all the way up the side.

Yeah. They're like a famously you'll pass a lot of dead bodies with their cocks out. They didn't quite. They knew they were going to die in the cold. So they got one beat in before they fucked. I love those pictures of people that died in ancient civilizations and shit they're just like holding their dick yeah the guy pompeii yeah the pompeii guy love that guy that guy has he had the idea that we all had as kids when you were like dude what are you gonna

do like you find out like you a meteor's coming a meteor's coming either way and everyone was like yeah yeah they did that yeah now it's just I'll start huffing computer duster again yeah I would love to be

the guy on a plane going down you're like fuck it I'm just gonna beat off real quick yeah that'd be great just pull your dick out and then they

they get it straight and then you're just like a sex criminal for the rest of your life yeah they figure it out yeah like everybody's screaming

yeah it's like almost famous they're like no the plane's okay now and you're like your cock's out for the rest of your life. They figure it out. Everybody's screaming. It's almost famous. They're like, no, the plane's okay now. And you're like, your cock's out. They're like, thank God we're safe. And you're like, yeah, I know. You're just covered in cum. You're slapping people with your dick. And they're like, we made it! We made it! And you're like, oh, shit. Yeah, it's what you thought the barf bags were for.

They're like a cock sock. And you try to hand it to the stewardess. Here you go. It's just full of leaking cob. I forgot to do soy face, by the way. Oh, man. Oh, man. Shit.

Did you eat? I had wing stop. They have three new flavors. You got the boneless, though. What are you doing with the boneless? First of all, my wife ordered. Okay, give me a second. All right, do your fucking...

All right, all right. Come on. You make me look like a fool. You don't make me look like an idiot. You don't make me look like a fool. You're making me look like an asshole. Now, let me get on my knees and do soy face for money. I do think I've said it before.

I do hope we're doing the podcast to the point where Ben has to get orthopedic surgery to keep doing soy face. He's doing physical therapy for his face. He's an NFL player. Yeah, he's going to Germany like LeBron to get his knees fixed, but for soy face. Do you think by the time I'm 35 I will be walking like this? Probably. Maybe. Yeah, I got to start doing yoga or something.

First of all, Wingstop has three new flavors. My wife did the thing where she's like, text me what you want so I don't fuck it up. Jace vetoed on it. He gets too stressed about things like that, so he goes, you just pick for me. Well, it's hard to be the third wheel to a married couple in their eighth year of marriage, and they're just having a married couple argument. Right.

You're like, I feel like I'm at my parents' house. And you're like, guys, let me fix this. Mango habanero. Guys, let me step in. Jamaican jerk, all right? Who are we fucking kidding? They have... These flavors are so amazing.

There's three new flavors, and I really hope they don't get rid of them, because I've had them a couple times now. They have Crunch Time, Pure Mayhem, Hot Honey Rub, and then The Meltdown. I'm sorry, they have four. Wow, what are they? What are the ingredients in Melt...

What's The Meltdown? The Meltdown is savory garlic tossed with bold Cajun seasoning and buttery Parmesan. Eh. Next. Then we have crunch time, which is sweet honey and zesty lemon combined in a fiery dry rub. That could work. I had it. It's delicious.

Okay, next. Pure mayhem, which I haven't had this one yet, but this is very interesting. Pure Mayhem? What is that, a school shooting? Is it not recording, Jace? No, no, you're fine. I was just staring off into space.

Oh, okay. Pure Mayhem, developed by Adam Lanza. I do love how every... Every Winx Top flavor does sound like it's on the board at Raytheon somewhere. Like they're coming up with new names for mustard gas. Pure mayhem. Right.

What they're using on the series. We got honey mustard gas. We put some sweet bourbon kick to it. They're just all like Guy Fieri. Yeah, Guy Fieri, but like world leader Guy Fieri. Yeah, he's like, we got a fucking missile that turns into samurai swords to minimize civilian casualties. We're turning your country into flavor town.

You know what Lebanon could use? A little bit of spice. Kick some spice into Syria. By the way, Guy Fieri's version, is that how you say it? Guy Fieri. Fieri. He's Italian, so I say it. It's Fieri. I say it how they say it over the pondieri. He's Italian, so I say it.

I say it how they say it over the pond. Across the pond. On the other side, they can say the Guy Fieri food. They came out with a place. Guy Fieri came out with a place that's supposed to rival Dave & Buster's. Really? Yeah, I think it's literally called Flavor Town. It's Dave & Buster's, but they have real guns everywhere for the games.

The buck cutter just has a deer tied up in the back you shoot. The whack-a-mole is just a mole in a box with a hammer in front of it. Yeah, you get hooked up hungry hungry hippo style to eat in the fucking damn you love those those guinnesses uh but this is the it's dave and busters basically so it's flavor town and you can go and i think it's one of those things where it's like you pay 50 bucks uh and then you go and you just get to do whatever you want. Yeah. They just go, look, you come in, give us 50 bucks.

We'll look the other way. No one's going to judge. You order on an iPad on your table. Someone comes out. They won't make eye contact with you. No one's going to judge you. And then you can just go crazy. You go absolutely insane.

They're like, we'll give you a pig carcass 20 minutes. We'll take whatever back we get. If you're too cheap, we'll give you'll give you a pig carcass 20 minutes we'll take whatever back we get if you're too cheap we'll give you somebody else's fucked pig carcass you can do what you want with the rest of it you know those scenes in movies where it's like the people finally it's the harvest

and so everybody all the crops are being yielded and all the calves are slaughtered and it's crazy somebody's cutting their food with a scythe. A big Amish lawnmower to butter their bread.

Those things where it's like the table is somehow, it's a mile long. It's just covered with, that's your dinner. To fit your belly on top of. Yes. That is a Guy fieri flavor town but it will we will reach a point where every weed strand and flavor at wing stop will be indecipherable you won't be able to know if it's like sativa indica or like spicy right garlic parmesan

indica yeah yeah good uh. Hot Gorilla Glue. And then the one that's really good, my personal favorite, is the Hot Honey Rub, which is very simple. They didn't go crazy with it. Simple's the best. That's what I say. You know what I say? K-I-S-S. You know what that stands for, Jace?

What does it say? Keep it stupid simple. Keep it simple stupid. Keep it simple stupid. Keep it simple stupid. Hot honey rub. Sweet honey and a fiery dry rub. It's way better than if you're a fan of lemon pepper,

this is so much better. Lemon pepper is rarely done right unless you're in Atlanta or you find a Korean family that has been working on the recipe their whole lives. Yeah, like they find the spices themselves in fields where it's layered like

that. Yeah, exactly, Jim. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, it's like Narcos, but they're just building wing spices. When you came over, we worked Devin up into a rant about Buffalo Wild Wings. He was going crazy. I didn't have much to say.

The prices are amazing for an alcoholic. They're amazing prices. What we were saying is that Devin's just going to start going there. I'm just going to start drinking there. It's one of those places where a beer from noon to 9 p.m., it's like $5

off beer because they just want to get you hammered. It's like $5 off beer. Because they just want to get you hammered so you start ordering all the wings. Well, what was great is your grandfather had an old saloon-y type place and then your dad had his hole-in-the-wall dive. Like Steve Buscemi in The Barfly. He had a cool place like that

and now you have Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah. You get to go watch women's basketball this is the best era to be alive by far it's so much better than an old timey saloon in the 1850s of a guy playing a piano and there's a bear playing the fiddle and whores

are just getting fucked in the upstairs rooms I don't want that I want to go to a place where people have the Dodgers logo tattooed on their eye. You're damn right. Yeah. I want to see a guy with the cat eye contacts

doing a spicy wing challenge and dying during the challenge. Exactly. Excuse me. I want to get hammered and eat wings next to a guy wearing a shirt

with a naked woman smoking a blunt and holding a diamond. I would like to eat at the restaurant from Wally. I think that would be great. Which is Buffalo Wilderness. It's basically Buffalo Wilderness. I want to order food and be like,

make sure they microwave it extra good this time. Can you leave the plastic? I like to eat that after. Leave it in the plastic bag, please. Thank you. When you pour it out of the plastic bag, you lose some sauce. So what me and my fellow comrades do

is we ball up the plastic and we suck on it like a big wad of tobacco. I like to go to restaurants and order dino nuggets from Kroger. I love this guy so much. Mad Trip Designs is the one-man operation run by Michael Dirty. Michael Dirty?

I like that name. Michael Dirty. From St. Louis, Missouri. If you're a comedian or a musician looking for poster art, album artwork, or merchandise designs, visit www.madtrippdesigns.com to contact Michael for a free quotation quotation

michael also has well it's free you might as well just might as well uh ring the guy michael also has fine art prints and merchandise available for sale on the site i went to the site some pretty incredible stuff and he's saying you're a pretty cool um free piece of artwork you as a racer head it was me artwork, you as a racer head. It was me doing Soy Face as a racer head. Yeah, it looks pretty dope. Yeah, it looks really cool. But the link is in the description here.

You got to go check his stuff out because it's great. And honestly, you should just message this guy some sort of whatever you need. And this guy could, guys, don't do the AI art stuff. Come on. What are you? I mean, literally, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you

if you need art for stuff and you just do AI? Yeah, what's the point of anything you care about? Fuck you. You stand for nothing. Make it. Stand for nothing.

Every time you do that, something horrible is going to happen to you. I promise you. I promise you. Use Michael Dirty instead. So to see more of Michael's artwork, visit www.madtrippdesigns.com or follow him at madtrippdesigns if you just like cool stuff.

Thank you for always making me laugh, Ben. It truly means a lot. Oh, cool. I don't think I was supposed to read that, but, uh, pretty cool that he just said me. I, I, I'm into it too. Right.

I know the email just addressed to me. Yeah. I followed up, emailed and said, Hey, I'm on the show too. And he's like, I don't really care about like,

yeah, where do I need to have him? Oh, the money to send it back or whatever keeps the ads coming in. Do not like you. That's okay. Thank you. Uh,

so Michael, I don't know if you wanted us. I don't, I hope that's an okay. Did you read all the stuff I highlighted? The copy? Uh, well, Michael, I don't know if you wanted us. I hope that's an okay. Did you read all the stuff I highlighted, the copy? Well, yeah. I mean, it says, thank you for always making me laugh, Ben. It truly means me a lot.

Keep those Kool-Aid jammers away from Jace. That's what I wanted to. Yeah, he threw one in there. Yeah. Hell yeah. So, cool. Yeah, check out his artwork. Check out Michael Dougherty's artwork.

Just a big fan of the show and support him. Well, he looks like he's a big fan of the show and support him. Well, he looks like he's a big fan of me, but I mean, it's... Sure, sure, but... It looks like he's kind of shitting on Jace here, actually. Well, I would still encourage you to check out his... Check it out. Yeah, his stuff. Check it out.

You could, yeah, you could kill my grandmother for 500 bucks. Michael, thank you. I'll take you out to California Pizzaia pizza kitchen if i if i ever see you out there on the streets thank you michael love you mad trip designs.com folks meta pcs builds custom high-end computers built for gaming video production editing and anything requiring a quality system. They're paying folks, they're paying top dollar for the cringiest ad.

They said in the notes be as cringy as possible. They saw our last ad and they said, this doesn't make us want to blow our brains out. Ayo! MetaPCs! Make the most disgusting face you can.

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that's already got the Vaseline and the ball and the rubber bands in it, if you know what I mean. It's been sitting in the closet. And then they ship it to you, if you know what I mean. I can't really say it, what I want to say closet and then they ship it to you. You know what I mean? I can't, you know, I can't really say it. What I want to say, because then they'd probably be mad. And then YouTube would be mad too. But you know what I'm talking about.

You guys get it. You know what I'm talking about. It's pre-configured, folks. Meta PCs only uses high quality components. You can make sure you're getting the best quality computer possible We need to stop doing these ads after we do three hours of podcasting Because it's always more hot and sweaty And my head feels like a blimp for some reason

Yeah, I'm covered in salt I feel like Dagwood after he's had a big sandwich That's exactly what I was going to say Is it really? No Who is Dagwood after he's had a big sandwich. That's exactly what I was going to say. Is it really? No. Oh. Who is Dagwood, by the way? He's the guy who fucks Blondie in Blondie.

No. But it's really about Dagwood and he eats big sandwiches. But who's Archie? Who's Archie? It's a completely different comic book. Who the fuck is Jughead? Jughead's the guy who fucks Archie and eats a bunch of hamburgers. Man, the 50s were nuts, huh?

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah 50s were nuts, huh? Oh yeah, a lot of other worse stuff happened besides those names. But the cartoons, it was just a guy that wanted to fuck a lady. Yeah, that's definitely right. It was pretty much it. It was Popeye, Jughead. Simple. Yeah.

They would just get their cock stuck in a hole where a mouse is supposed to go. You know the little... Because you know in cartoons how there's always a little door for the mouse mouse to go in never seen anything like that in my life like in real life i don't know where anybody got that idea that mouse has like made their own doors yeah and i do think that's the worst thing that happened in the 50s it was like an exterminator that like got sent here from the holocaust and he tried using those methods on mice. You can customize your PC to fit your style with custom graphics and designs. And they only use

high quality components so you can ensure you're getting the best quality computer possible assembled here in the United States. All of our support and staff is also based here in the United States. That's great. Let's wrap it up. You're holding a sausage, Ben. Love MetaPCS. Not Ben. Love MetaPCS. Not Ben.

All MetaPCS systems come with lifetime service and support guarantee. Whether you're looking for a desktop or laptop, go to metapcs.com and use code LEMON to save on your new PC. Go to metapcs.com and use code LEMON to save on your new PC. Back to the show. Thank you, MetaPCS. Because that's even worseEMON to save on your new PC. Back to the show. Thank you, MetaPCS. Because that's even worse going to the Buffalo Wild Wings and being like, I'm going to get the penne ala carte fettuccine.

Oh, to say it like that? Yeah. The fettuccine. Well, we went to California Pizza Kitchen last week. And Jace got the nice pasta, like the Cajun whatever. I got the jambalaya fettuccine. Jambalaya fettuccine and I've never seen like sauce that like glistened

more. It just I could see my whole reflection in his plate. It was like ordering pond water. It was like I was eating pixels and I took like three bites. You guys got pizzas like sensible people. I got like three bites. I go man this is really hurting my stomach.

But it costs $28. I have to keep eating. It was $100 bill. Yeah. Yeah. $100 at California Pizza Kitchen. We each got three, three items. And I drank water.

Yeah. Three items. And I got a beer. It was $100 at California Pizza Kitchen Devin turns to the waitress and goes do you guys have Sam Adams on draft

I go I'll have that yeah and then I remember at some point in the when we were you go I you turn to everybody

as we're walking to our table you like look around it's a California Pizza Kitchen that seats maybe 700 people yeah it's like an arena it's a thing you'll find in the valley where it is a Roman Coliseum of being retarded. And it's just complete.

There's four people inside of it. There's a child king at one table just dining alone. Yeah. He's inherited a fortune somehow. Right. His parents have murder-suicided each other and left him all his money. Yeah, did like a plague, like a Last of Us thing, hit or something? Like, I don't know about it yet.

It had that feeling. It felt like a bunch of families were hiding out. Yes. Yeah. No, they're going to have to start adding things. You're going to have to be able to go get a gun permit at California Pizza Kitchen. They need to start having stuff like that so they get more business. All of these places, you should be able to come in quickly in a frantic mood and just

be like, give me a flare gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need home ration kits and stuff to take home. Give me an MRE. Give me a gallon of distilled water. I need some lead. I need a cube of tungsten and a bass boat. Pound of thermite.

I'll take the chopped salad and some iodine. You have those cylinders for revolvers? I got the handgun. I lost the thing that spins. And there's something about being in such a corporately designed place in the valley. Oh, yeah. Completely empty. At midnight, that's completely empty.

That really accentuates the depression that's naturally inside of your brain. Yeah. Like you're saying, I was sitting there, we're having a great time talking about stuff. And then I look over, I'm like, what if I just crawled inside that big pizza oven and died?

He's like, what if I put my whole body inside the pizza oven? How are we guys doing tonight? Oh yeah. Much better than you. Probably. It was one of those places, too, where the waitresses had to be happy.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know, man. I feel so bad. They're like, how you guys doing tonight? And you want to have a shotgun under the table. Like it's the Hateful Eight? Yeah. Just swing it at them.

Well, those are the only places you get any service, though. Yeah, yeah. Every other place, every like independent owned place, like you walk in and they're just like fuck off, like take a seat, fag.

There's nobody working anywhere anymore. You know? No. I gotta get this country right. That's right, Devin. And that's why I'm going down

to Huntington Beach. Devin costs everything. You hear a lot of people It goes dark, me and Jason leave the set and there's just a spotlight on Devin.

He's like, have you ever noticed that nobody wants to work anymore? I mean, I'm kidding. I'm not trying to sound like some sort of fucking Daily Wire hack. Devin gets two Guinnesses. He thinks he's on Club Random all of a sudden. I thought I was on Club Random. What the fuck?

I think here's a secret to having a successful business nowadays. Hire anyone to work there. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, sure. No. Yeah, sure. Every place I go to that's not a chain, you wait for 20 to 30 minutes for anyone to acknowledge you're alive.

Because there's one waitress covering 45 tables. I know. And then you can't even complain because you feel bad. Because you're like, oh, no. Yeah, yeah. She comes over. She's like, I'm really sorry. The owner hates you.

So he hired. He's not even's like, I'm really sorry. The owner hates you. So he hired. He's not even paying me. I'm a slave. Also, all these places hired like the Hell's Angels to be there like security and bouncers. Now, it's insane out there. You go to a fucking bar. It's like Altamont. Yeah.

No, there's like a there's like a guy in front of the California Pizza Kitchen holding a big sword. Are you Radmild? That's a fun police report. California Pizza Kitchen holding a big sword. And you're like, are you Radmild? Woo! Woo! That was a fun police report. Yeah. God rest his soul.

Rest in peace. Anyway. Who knows what happened? No one knows. Who knows what he did? He could be alive for all we know. He's alive. Come on.

He's with Tupac in Cuba. I was going to say something about California Pizza Kitchen but I can't remember now. Oh, yeah. Devin's walking around. Devin looks. And then you're such a, you have this like wild glint in your eye.

And you kind of look around at the joint and you go, I think we just found our new spot. I was like, what are you talking about? And then immediately Jace got sick. It took us three hours to eat there. That's why it's our new spot. We should all get sick each week there. It's just nice because it was big. It's on Ventura.

It's on Ventura. It's free. It was just like it had a nice Starbucks vibe. You know how Starbucks is like a middle class homeless shelter? It's just everyone there is on their laptops like trying to get their job back. They were fired that day. Their internet

was canceled. They're at Starbucks. You get a venti ice water. They got hired at that Starbucks that morning. Doing the Starbucks interview. Exactly. They go to the bathroom. They shower up, you know, use the toilet water. It seems like everybody at Starbucks is trying to like Photoshop a document of like their father's will to like to like change stuff and move stuff around and then put it back in a in like a folder like Ocean's Eleven style back on his computer. Everyone at Starbucks, if you overhear the conversation like, yeah, so just put him on the life insurance.

Yeah. Everybody. You're right. He's still alive. He's alive. No. Everybody, you're right. No, he's still alive. He's still alive. No, no, nothing's gonna happen. He's not sick. Nothing. No.

Yeah, everybody at Starbucks has like an Ocean's Eleven plan to like get housing back. A good ticket to get housing back. Yeah, but they're like meeting with four wise guys and they're like, here's how we do it.

We get the Chinese guy. We get the Italian guy. We get the Italian guy. We bring him in. I'm going to get that apartment back. Sell me this pen. I think if you're getting a monthly check from the government, and you know you're going to die, you should die in your home. And just tell your family i'm gonna i have this terminal illness when i die just lock me away in a room and like put a you know you put a towel in

the slit of a door so you smoke weed yes yes you can like hot box do that so you can't smell my body and then just like keep collecting the you need the income i won't need it anymore so just pretend i'm still alive. Right. You know? But you get more if the guy had life insurance and you just say he died. That doesn't work anymore, right?

When really old people die, is there any money? Like if you're 90. Oh, right, I guess so. That World War II veteran that we flipped off last episode and we said is an old piece of shit. Yeah.

And when that guy dies, he's not, he doesn't get a check for like a million dollars from uh i don't know i don't really know how life insurance works but i know trump changed the debt i thought the longer you've been paying into it the more you get oh is that how it works i don't know i thought if you die young you get a bigger payout i think you're probably right like if you die when you're based on how embarrassingly you die you get a bigger payout right oh is that true yeah yeah it's true okay so ifingly you die, you get a bigger payout. Oh, is that true?

Yeah. Yeah, it's true. So if you get pants to death, you get like $400 million. If you get high-towered in a video and you crack your head open. Yeah, like Anton Yelchin probably got, like his family got like $100 billion.

I mean, he died with the Benny Hill music playing, his Jeep killed him. His was he tried to put his car in park and he went behind it and looked at the tire and then it rolled over his neck. Yeah, he stared at a woman's big tits and he ran around the block for a while. Steam was shooting out of his ears.

His tongue was rolling down like a red carpet. He had a sunflower on his shirt that he squirted seltzer water out of and then a car hit him. They do say when he looked back and saw the car, he went. And then what was really sad about his death is he tried to run away, but he was just spinning his legs in the air because he hasn't taken off yet. Now I get that.

He's going. Weird thing. Speaking of... That always happened in Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner. What was it called? Coyote and Roadrunner? Sure. Roadrunner and Coyote. Yeah, yeah.

What was it called? Coyote and Roadrunner? Roadrunner and Coyote? I forget how it went. Is this like a Mandela effect thing? Yeah, it is. It's like it's Kleenex. It's tissue, not Kleenex.

Was that what it is? I thought it was always Kleenex. too kleenex is a company it's not tissues kleenex is a company it makes tissues like coca-cola making or xerox yeah yeah oh interesting anyway back to making fun of this dead guy i do like who ben will turn to you like you're on Larry King and be like, was it Wile E. Coyote? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Roadrunner and Coyote. What was it? No.

You're on the air. I've been watching since, look, I'm not going to divulge where I live now, but where I live, it's a beautiful place, right? Mm-hmm. But it's running amok with uh deadly coyotes oh yeah that uh i mean i feel like death is knocking at my door yeah everywhere i look every neighbor says i can't let uh gracie or emma out or i was thinking about i'll tell you this this is how i i feel limited in my range of uh decisions i can make in my life i thought about I thought about rescuing a basset hound.

You had to go on hunts for old-timey black criminals? They have huge ears. They're awesome. And they really suck. They're completely useless as animals. You would be using them to find Nikakata. Letting it smell of talky?

Yeah, letting it smell of talky. Nikakata. Letting it smell of Taki? Yeah, letting it smell of Taki. It finds Nikakata's apartment in Hollywood? Yeah, it's like leading you through creeks. What the hell is that? I think that's probably Gracie scratching herself.

Shut up, retard! Is that Emma? Here, I'll let her in. They're hammering things? The dogs have the power to hammer? Shut up, retard. Is that Emma? Here, I'll let her in. What are they like? They're hammering things? The dogs have the power to hammer? I'm just talking about how it's such a nice place and now it seems like I live in a small one-bedroom apartment.

Is this where you sleep, Ben? Like I live in Moscow, Russia now. We have to be... Well, it's the thing where you moved in and they just told you they're like starting... They're constructing an entire building across the street the day you move in. Oh, sure.

Yeah. But yeah. Oh, I was going to say about these. I was going to rescue a bass hound named Nike. Really cute. Katie was sending me pictures of it. She wants a third dog like crazy. You sent us a video of it and we're like, it's a cute dog.

But Devin pointed out its dick was like dragging across the floor. Its dick was way too big. It was like a Lexington steel dog. like dragging across the floor. It's dick was way too big. It was like a Lexington steel dog. It had an engorged penis and its red tip was falling out of the dog head.

Yeah, it somehow had a prolapsed cock. There was like goo and shit like falling out of it. I was like, please do not. I don't want to look at that dog's dick all day. I do love Ben wanting to get that dog like just dress up like you run a chain gang just out back yeah that's what i said he's running through creeks and stuff i'm starting

to i start riding a horse around i get a shot again you're in a big sheriff's hat yeah yeah but uh if i now well the coyote's here i mean what am i rescue next? A filet mignon? If these dogs, these, Emma, I mean, you don't think Emma is not going to get snatched? These coyotes, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, they will hop a fence about eight feet, about eight feet high. They can grab a dog and just jump out and then it's just completely gone. Yeah. They'll pretend to be, they're incredibly sophisticated. They'll pretend to be like limp, like they're hurt and a dog will come up to it and then they'll fuck it up uh they're incredibly sophisticated they'll pretend to be like limp

like they're hurt and a dog will come up to it and then they'll they'll fuck it up fuck it up but medium-sized dogs usually are okay unless it's like a rabid pack of coyotes you know i was walking just the other day and a coyote came up to me and emma and gracie on the street right here really i was i'm bending oh i was bending over to pick up the biggest pile of shit I've ever seen from Emma. And as I pick it up, I turn around and the coyote has come out of a thing of brush and is looking at us. Because it knows as soon as I turn around

that it goes, oh, now I can get closer and see what's going on. And the coyote, what did it do? It came up to you and it was like, yo, podcast cringe. Yeah. That coyote came up and was like, yo, podcast cringe. Yeah. That coyote came up and was like, have you seen Collateral? That's the thing.

Bruh. Coyotes, they're very romantic LA creatures. So you should like that you're around them. I do. It's like that beautiful scene in Collateral. They're beautiful creatures. They're very intelligent. But they're going to kill Emma. Emma got out already for an hour and I lost her.

Yeah. They could kill her or they'll make her king. Yeah. I could see Emma falling in and being like the Oliver Twist type character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Emma's like fucking up other things more than the coyotes. Sure. Oh, my God.

She's out of her mind. Emma goes and like bites a kid's ear off. And they're like, oh, Jesus. The coyotes are like, wow, you're racist. The coyotes are like, listen, you're going to fuck our whole thing up. We steal chickens and small dogs. You just tried to fuck a kid. They can dig tunnels.

The dogs will probably be all right. Yeah. I'm just saying coyotes are one of the most sophisticated creatures on the planet. They're dig tunnels. The dogs will probably be all right. Yeah, I think that'd be funny. I'm just saying, coyotes are one of the most sophisticated creatures on the planet. They're very intelligent. They can get in and out of anything. They can dig tunnels in their places. We say that about literally every animal.

Have you ever noticed that? That every animal's a fucking genius? We say that about- I noticed this recently. It's a new thing. Yeah, I noticed this. We say that about pigs. We literally, everyone loves,

every time you talk shit about a dumb animal, somebody comes in and goes actually they went to the moon no i found this out recently about like whales are incredibly intelligent they can talk to each other across the world right uh through clicks and clacks and then i found out why don't they speak they're so smart yeah why don't they have phones yeah why don't they get a phone they can't even watch porn when they're white dumb whale dumb retard whales and then i was looking up this bird that i saw it was like a blue thing i forget what it was called some sort of like finch kind of bird sure yeah i looked it up in the wikipedia immediately says this is one

of the and it's just a dumb fucking bird i saw going beep you know just a retired bird going just on a wire he's next to a thing that if he hops on it he's fried and dead You know, just a retired bird going, bleep, bleep. Just on a wire. He's next to a thing that if he hops on it, he's fried and dead. And then somebody out there is like, actually, that bird invented the little boy. Dude, I looked at it. And then Wikipedia immediately pops up and it goes, this is the most intelligent bird that probably has ever existed. They're known thieves. Their consciousness has

has evolved to understand the passage of time and so now then they take things from squirrels and they take things from other birds and they store things and they have incredible memory where they can remember up to like a thousand locations of where they've stored nuts and seeds and things like that everything i read and then they go yeah you know fucking octopuses are insanely smart fucking orcas are incredibly intelligent. Then I'm watching this documentary on rattlesnakes the other day. And this documentary is going on and on about how these guys, you know, no one has ever had it harder than rattlesnakes. And now they can't cross freeways and they're dying out like crazy.

And they're very intelligent. And they're actually harmless. They're actually great for the environment. We shouldn't be killing snakes when we find snakes. They're harmless. Every documentary about an animal, it feels like it's made by the animal. I feel the same way.

Who directed this? Yeah, there's a rattlesnake in a fucking big hat, like the fucking Ron Howard hat. That fucking hat. In a director's shirt going, we're good for nature with it's little tail no they act like the rattlesnake was like

I want to like warn people before I hurt them so I'm gonna build a rattle it just happened no no no this is what the thing says in the documentary it goes notice how the rattlesnake will use it's rattle a lot cause it doesn't actually want to hurt anybody it doesn't want to use its venom.

That's why it evolved to scare people. Sure. They don't care. They're still gross and snakes. It's all an instinctual thing. Yeah, yeah. I don't care about animals whatsoever. I do whatever I want to them.

Other than dogs and cats. I'm sick of nature coming back. You told me nature's coming back because of COVID. Yeah. And I don't like it. It. And I don't like it. It sucks. I don't like it at all. It sucks.

Get them out of here. We just started burning the forest down. I go to the zoo just to make sure the animals are still locked up. Yeah. You just go to the zoo and you go, fuck you. Yeah. I just taunt bears and gorillas and shit. I yell murderer at them like I'm at an abortion rally.

You know what? You know what I'm going to do? I'm probably going to go leave now because I can do that. Fucking dumbass. Devin's like, you guys aren't feeding them too much, right? You want to want them too strong? You want them a little like lightheaded, a little woozy? I check the bars.

I go, yeah, this is sturdy. I go, build another one. This one needs more bars. I just see you outside the tiger cage just shoving glass shards into a big steak. Got a little gift for you, pal. Thought you were real funny. Well, the days of Laurel and Hardy are up.

We don't need you for props anymore. We have CGI tigers. No, people go, oh, tigers are so intelligent. And then you see a guy with like four teeth, literally four teeth who smokes meth and butt fucks homeless people. And he has like 40 of them that he like wrangled and like tricked into being in captivity.

Yeah. But supposedly tigers are just incredibly intelligent. But they don't know they're in Orlando. No, no, no. No, this isn't. These are incredibly. If you're so smart, how'd you get to Florida? Yeah, no, no. No, this isn't, these are incredibly. If you're so smart, how'd you get to Florida?

Yeah, if you're so smart, how come you're hanging out at the Margaritaville in Orlando? How come a meth head gave you a tribal tattoo? How did that happen? How did a guy who got in a fatal

see-do accident own you for 20 years? I saw shit Tiger King, okay? It's a bunch of retards wrangling you up. It's great, no, because people go, oh, tigers are so intelligent. It's like, and here shit Tiger King. It's a bunch of retards wrangling you up. It's great because people go oh, tigers are so intelligent. It's like, here's their king. He's right here. He's

smoking meth. It's a gay method. It's a guy so retarded he's gay. Tiger King That's what it is about. Tiger King is only gay because he doesn't realize you can fuck women. He's that dumb. He's like, well, I guess I gotta fuck all these guys then.

I'm the Tiger King. I'm the Tiger King. I'm so retarded, I don't know about pussy. I'm such a retard. I didn't even figure ladies got anything down. Thank God that Tiger King shit's over. God. I never got into it once, by the way.

Anytime I hear about it, I shudder. I get shivers thinking about the pandemic and all that bullshit that period of time. Did you get into it once, by the way. Anytime I hear about it, I shudder. I get shivers thinking about the pandemic and all that bullshit that period of time. Did you get into people going, oh, a free, who was the lady? Carol Baskin. A lot of impressions of her coming out. Oh, God.

I never fell for that shit at all. She was played by Kate McKinnon like three weeks after the documentary came out. It was one of those things where they just made a bunch of shit. It hadn't even happened yet and they're making it. Well, I'm glad

they were mixing it up back then because it was either that one week or then it was Kate McKinnon playing the piano and crying.

I don't know if you remember that at all. I do. When she was singing Hallelujah. Well, I do miss Not bad actually

as a cover. Yeah, I mean she's a completely worthless She seems pretty talented. Completely worthless hypocrite of a woman. I, I mean, she's a completely worthless... She seems pretty talented. Completely worthless hypocrite of a woman. I mean, they had... I think they got Trump offstage

so she could sing Halloween. Yeah, right. Wasn't Trump on the show five months earlier? They had him on the show three weeks prior and they go, vote for this man. And then they're like, well, oh, Babylon, how she has fallen. You saw that clip of Stephen Colbert

where he's like, Trump, I'm so glad you're on the show because, you know, I think you could do some good things as United States president. I think you have a good track record and you're a good guy. Yeah. When he went on Colbert in like 2015 or 2016, Colbert was talking about how awesome Trump was to his face. He was like kissing his ass.

Sure. They also had him on when he was just a scumbag real estate developer. Like nobody, everyone knew he was like a shitty guy. They still had him on because it was just a scumbag real estate developer. Like, they, nobody, everyone knew he was, like, a shitty guy. They still had him on because it's a part of the game. It's only when he wants to run for the, you know, the true criminal of the country that they have to pretend, like, hey, we don't accept criminals to run the country. Oh, right. You know what I mean? To be top, top G.

Yeah. Didn't the Central Park Five story ever hit their desk, you know, when he was just Donald Trump, the apprentice guy? Yeah. How come only it matters when he's president i don't know man but i hope i hope moving forward with trump i hope people just see trump and they go wheels up king wheels up wheels up wheels up king no more vibe checks you look at trump you say wheels up king and you just let him rock and roll yeah i just because you know what you know what it kind of feels like it feels like it's one of the best solo guitarists mankind has ever seen and people

keep trying to interrupt him as he's shredding it's and i go back to traditional music theory and let trump right 30 40 minutes he's like the the the only great guitarist that everyone seems to give a fuck about the fact that he fucked kids. Which Ted Nugent did. They all do. Jimmy Page. They were painting the walls with children. To be good at guitar in the

70s, you had to be a pedophile. If Trump was in Led Zeppelin, everyone would be like, everything he does would be fine. There's something about fingering a child that makes you great just with Led Zeppelin. Like, no, everyone would be like, hell yeah! Like, everything he does would be, like, fine. Yeah, yeah. There's something about fingering a child that makes you great just with, like, that left hand. It has to be, like, some intertwined thing. It's probably connected in the brain somewhere.

Jimmy Page kidnapped, like, a 14-year-old for, like, three months or whatever. Yeah. And just raped her across Europe. Ted Nugent married a 15-year-old in Hawaii, or, like, a 14-year-old girl. Yeah. Led Zeppelin also, they like stole all their fucking hit songs. Yeah, that's why they had that

Did they ever go in a blimp? They're in tons of lawsuits. Yeah, they went in a blimp to hide from all the old black men that are suing them. Led Zeppelin literally Led Zeppelin would just be traveling through the south and they'd be like, Robert Plant would be like, roll the windows down, mate. The tour bus.

And they just listen to like some old black guy named like Willie like Shoeboat Johnson and they just steal Stairway to Heaven from him. They are like in lawsuits against, yeah, like junkyard owning black people. They're like, well, Blind Lemon Jefferson versus Robert Plant. Blind Lemon Jefferson. Yeah. Every like well Blind Lemon Jefferson versus Robert Plant. Blind Lemon

Jefferson. Right. No you want to know why there's so many old homeless black people on the streets of this country because

they're all in lawsuits with Led Zeppelin. Yeah Led Zeppelin's in a lawsuit with an old pair of overalls. Oh man.

Yeah. It's like Medgar Evers versus Led Zeppelin. Let's face it. With coffee starting at $5, yes, even without any customizations, and our bank accounts somehow always depleting, we are officially entering a dupe session. Most products do the same thing but are priced differently solely based on the brand name so a good duplicate or dupe is crucial for getting the

highest quality at the best price one dupe you definitely shouldn't sleep on raycon wireless earbuds say it with me you guys raycon wireless earbuds hell yeah raycon is premium auto at the uh it's premium audio at the perfect price point. So you can listen to what you want, when you want, without breaking the bank. I think that someone might want to spend less on earbuds because many situations in their life. But most importantly, I think you'd want to spend less on your earbuds because you don't want the good people

at the big corporations to be making a fool out of you. No. You don't want to look at your bank statements at the end of the month as we're entering a recession and realize you're marching toward some sort of unspeakable

evil that is conjuring from within your familial nest. Raycons are the people's headphones and I have a pair and I use them anytime I need them. And they're perfect and they're great. And I love Raycons. Everything same. Everything

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While licking that bone. That's why I was laughing. Emma loves that bone I got for her today. She's licking the... There's a little pumpkin filler in it, and she's been licking it like crazy. Yeah, she loves it. What a sick bastard. Man, she's sucking on it like a bottle.

She's my little baby. She's my little reary baby. Yes, yes. He took my love. Yes. He took your leg. Emma kind of looks like something that hatched out of an egg, don't you think? She does very dinosaur qualities about her. Very prehistoric qualities. She looks like a live action Mario thing.

From the John Leguizamo Bob Hoskins movie. The one where the bad guys had small heads? Yeah, that's Emma. That one rolls. Where it's like Blade Runner, but Mario. Yeah, I loved that movie. Yeah, it's really good, actually. It's my favorite movie.

It's probably the greatest movie ever made. Yeah, the only thing I love more than that movie is Raycon earbuds. Same. Because Raycon knows that in this economy, every purchase needs to be perfect. They offer buy now, pay later options. Right now, you can pay as low as $18 at checkout?

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to get 15% off your Raycon order. But yeah, it was a weird week with Trump being indicted and then the trans stuff and all that. What's the trans stuff? There was a shooter.

Trans shooter. And then like a day later it was like the trans day of vengeance. It's weird, strange timing. It's all day of vengeance. It's weird. Strange timing. It's all good, Jason. It's fine. And whatever YouTube thinks about things we think too. Trans guy shot up a school. It does seem like we don't have

any opinion on that. Yeah, I don't have an opinion on that. Other than Dylan Mulvaney's 366th day as a man did not go well. that's all I'll say I heard Bud Light Bud Light just sponsored

the shooting brought to you brought to you by the beer Garita yeah here's the thing about the train sure lay it on me

you gotta understand you gotta understand. Can we just take a second? Can we take a second? This is what you gotta understand about the train. Do you not understand it? I feel like he doesn't get it. No, he doesn't get it. And it's not my job

to explain to anyone what's going on. This is your character who never has a point. He never says it. We don't even know what's going on. That is your character who never has a point. He never says anything. We don't even know what's going on. That's what I feel like people do. Yeah. I try to find out what the thing is to think.

I go, because I don't believe in anything, right? So I just go, what is everybody, because it's all video games. So I just go, what is the video game think?

And I go on Twitter and I can't find a concrete anything. I can't find, I find people saying it's a, trans people are mentally ill and should be like killed. And then I find, I find people saying nothing people are mentally ill and should be killed

and then I find people saying nothing else in terms of people saying the opposite of that it's all like a schizo babble and none of it seems correct to me so I don't know what to think so I'm going to say

that the shooting didn't happen it didn't it didn't happen did you see the time stamps in the in the footage in the in one uh the shooter is wearing vans yes and then the other one they're wearing pumas yeah well they're just like really into street wear you know they did a costume change yeah that's how you know they were trans is they're like lady gaga they're like did you see he had three different outfit changes

for the shooting? Dude, I wonder if someone is going to be a... He goes backstage and just puts a whole new dress on. He was running into... Sam Smith costume. He was running into bathrooms and the Queer Eye guys were changing him before he ran back out. Yeah, I would love... Like an 80s montage of doing the makeover.

I would love to see somebody doing a shooting dressed in that Sam Smith costume he wore to the Emmys. The big gay anchor costume. As far as best dressed school shooters, this one was one of the most mid I've seen. It was pretty mid. Pretty mid. It looked like

TJ from Recess. Yeah. Yeah. Baggy pants. Yeah. I thought it was Bam Margera, honestly, at first glance. Yeah, well, he was busy slapping people at a restaurant in LA. Yeah, Bam's really pissed because his wife won't let him nut tap their kid. He's trying to get nut tap rights in court. He's like, on weekends, I kick him in the nuts. And we laugh.

Your Honor, I was on jackass. I was with Steve-O. By the way, I did see one lady trying to say that if Republicans are never going to care about children dying, then how will we ever get them to care about black and brown people? They tweeted that right after everybody died in the shooting. I love using, you know, it's great. It's a great sign for this country

that we immediately use the death of children to make a political point. Yeah, for sure. I think it's healthy. I've often said if you hear there's a shooting and then you immediately Google what was the race and gender of the person so you can know what bullshit thing to shove into the internet like your keyboard is smoking right

you're typing it and it's so fast right yeah i think if you i think if you hear about like 18 kids getting slaughtered and you go what okay they were white they were trans yeah and then you consult a matrix of like what bullshit gay retarded thing can i shove this into murder and death is not bad enough for me yeah i need to know like what they were right i i need to let people know i'm insufferable through this shooting here i don't know if i'm a healthy guy i don't know if i'm a healthy man like i'm probably not right but my reaction when i saw i saw the the video and I got so tremendously sad, I almost started crying. The video of the- Of the cops-

Shooter getting killed. Getting killed. And it was so incredibly sad that I just couldn't process it. I put it away. Yeah. And then I just tried not to think about it and I didn't politicize it. Sure. And I don't know.

Maybe that's not healthy. Maybe I should. Well, it's the most guilt-free footage I've ever seen because I had the same feeling, but then I watched it on my podcast. Hey, watch out tomorrow. I cried and then I thought, maybe I can monetize this a little bit.

But then I realized there's no sadness in the footage other than the shooter getting killed and that's not sad to me. No, but it's sad that that person... Just seeing, watching the cops go through a school and seeing art on the walls. It made me very sad. We almost turned it off,

but we fought through it. We fought through it and we got 25 minutes out of it, goddammit. We fought through it. YouTube has already put a sensor on it. It hasn't even come out yet. But... I do it shamefully whenever I hear there's a big new school shooting and I do I will say I do

figure out that it wasn't a white guy who did it there is part of me that's like all right you know sure sure yeah yeah at least I can poke my head out on Twitter like tomorrow sure yeah like a like a fucking groundhog like seeing a shadow and stuff it's just it's one of

these it's another one of these like weird simulation things to me where it's just everything lines up too weirdly and perfectly and odd nowadays where then i read that the shooter was really sad about two women that she was in love with that were on the women's basketball team and they died in a car crash separately not in the same car just randomly separately uh i don't know then this week like right after the women's basketball is like the most talked about thing i've it's the only time i've ever watched it like i watched it this morning then right after the shooting not sure i even saw like the biden administration say anything like like, this is bad.

They just immediately started posting like, trans people are under attack and shit like that. And I don't know if what I'm getting's wrong, but it's just fucking strange.

It's like, a couple days right after a trans person shoots a bunch of people at a school to see the president be like, trans people,

we need to protect. It's kind of like, you know, like if right after Columbine, like George Bush was like, I love the Matrix. I think Dylan looked cool. I think he was cool as shit. Do we have any of the footage in slow-mo?

Can we slow down the footage in slow-mo? Like the Matrix? Hope they don't make a second one of those fucking pieces of shit. It's the footage of him getting told about 9-11, but the guy just comes up and he goes, somebody's trying to ruin the Matrix. He's just like... Sir, somebody's trying to ruin the Matrix with a shooting. Sir, the Matrix Revolutions has already come out.

Sir, there's two twins with dreads and they're sick as hell. I don't even know. Like when people go, someone always goes, ah, did you see what Biden said after the shooting? And I'm like, no. And they're like, hey, watch this.

And I just open up a video and Biden just like walks. He's like walks out a thing and then he just falls down a flight of stairs. And I can you believe this is our U.S. president? I'm like, yes, he does this every day. Can you believe Biden's response to the shooting? They cut to Hector Salamanca like, you know, like ringing a bell. They're like, we go to we go to President Biden to see his response.

And it's just him biting into a sandwich but all the meat falls out the other end. He goes, what the hell? Confused. He's just using the sandwich to talk. He's just like a sock puppet. Yeah, yeah. It is pretty great.

I mean, the last like six years of school shootings, our responses have been... You didn't let me finish the sentence. The last six years. The last six years the last six years of school because we've been going like 20 years strong

I know it's all the time but the last six years we've had Joe Biden and then we've also had Trump who also just sucked at talking about

school shootings yeah there's no you either get like a guy that doesn't even know he's on earth or a guy that thinks he runs the earth right and they both sound horrible right because Trump would talk about like a guy that doesn't even know he's on Earth or a guy that thinks he runs the Earth. Right.

And they both sound horrible. Right. Because Trump would talk about it like a guy who's trying to get pussy when a girl's really sad. Because Trump would be like, wow, so sad. Bruder. Yeah. Anyway, can we go back to your place? He sounds like Trump sounded like a guy trying to get pussy at a funeral.

Like he was the guy from Money Crashers. Trump's like, meat trying to get pussy at a funeral. Like he was the guy from What a Crash. Trump's like, Meatloaf! Mom! Tremendously sad. Tremendously. I know a place just right over here we can go talk about it. What if we get some drinks? It's right next to my apartment. I know a great place. It closes

in 45, but I know the guy. Let us stay late. Let us stay late. We can talk about this crazy white psycho. You know, I don't want the night to end. I still need to mourn. You want to go up to my pad? It'd be a great move if Trump, when he was president and school shootings were happening,

or if he becomes president again and school shootings obviously will happen again. Yeah, or keep happening. Keep happening, unfortunately. If he just was like, white people, tell me about it. White people shake my head. It's the only time he uses it to denounce white people. He goes, I'm telling like, white people, tell me about it. White people shake my head. It's the only time he uses it to denounce white people. He goes, I'm telling you, white people.

If he gets elected again and he's like, well, I only have four more years, so fuck it. And then he just goes hard the other way. That would be the funniest, greatest. He goes, I'm trans and I hate whiteys. Visit my GoFundMe. Yeah, Trump comes out with huge tits. Yeah, Trump has huge tits. He goes, I'm in an unsafe housing situation. Go to my GoFundMe. Yeah, Trump comes out with huge tits. Yeah, Trump has huge tits. He goes, I'm in an unsafe housing situation.

Go to my GoFundMe. Trump was like, I was recently in San Francisco. They stole my MacBook. I have a GoFundMe. I have a GoFundMe for $9 trillion. He solves the debt crisis somehow through a trans GoFundMe. Yeah, he starts like a trans OnlyFans. Yeah.

Why do you think I paid off Stormy Daniels? She gave me a clit. She gave me her tits. I put them on. I have Stormy Daniels pussy. Stormy Daniels pussy. Every day at the White House we're gonna play Black Panther 2, The Woman King. Till.

Till. We're gonna play it. Great movie. Do you think Trump behind closed doors is like, if I had to do it all over again, I still would fuck Stormy. I still would fuck her. It's not what he did. He fucked her and then paid her off, right?

Yeah, I don't even understand that either because I don't know why she's not being charged being a prostitute. I think the whole thing is backwards. I didn't know you could get paid off for sex. I thought prostitution's illegal. I don't really get it. I think the whole thing is backwards. I didn't know you could get paid off for sex. I thought prostitution's illegal. I don't really get it. I don't get it. Frankly, I think she should have paid him.

Same. To suck that marvelous cock. To suck off Trump, you should have to pay that man just to get a peep. I do love that she's a celebrity now just for being a scumbag of a woman who's fucking terrible people for money. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's like the equivalent to them. It's like the equivalent of like, yeah, I fucked Hitler, but I said his dick was weird. So give me a Mark Twain award. She gets the Mark Twain award. Yeah. Stephen Colbert is just like, can you believe the woman who fucked Hitler said his dick was weird?

That's tremendous for us because I would love it if it was the opposite. And she's like, she came out about the Trump sex thing. And she's like, honestly, baby arm. Huge cock. Fucked the shit out of me. Made me cum. She's like 12 inches hard. Good angle to it, too.

Curved up. But then she's like, he said the N-word a lot, but huge cock. Really satisfied me more than anybody. He said the N word a lot but huge hog. Huge hog. Really satisfied me more than anybody. He said the N word he wore a do-rag when we did it.

At one point he did put sneakers on to fuck me. Held a gun to my head. Best nut of my life. Made it hotter honestly. But he's bad.

He didn't ask for consent but I gave it to him in that moment because he was just fucking rearranging my guts. He called Putin while he was railing me. Put him on speakerphone speaker. Putin cheered him on.

He FaceTime Putin said, Hannes, you this pipeline, huh? It is amazing. Trump wasn't on Snapchat throughout his presidency, like like like just him fucking Melania from the back and just sending a quick snap. Yeah. Playing like a little boozy. Do you think they fuck in gasoline? They probably don't fuck. him fucking Melania from the back and just sending a quick snap. Playing a little boozy. Do you think they fuck? They probably don't fuck. Him and Melania? He probably fucks prostitutes all the time and not her.

I bet she jacks him off a lot while he watches porn. Trump does the thing where he gets sucked off and he just does both hands like this the whole time. And that's about it. There's something about it. I just feel like they have an agreement and I don't think she touches him. I think she hates him.

Do you think he shaves his armpits? Trump? It just occurred to me. I couldn't imagine what his armpit hair looks like. He probably doesn't have a lot of armpit hair. I bet he shaves it. He doesn't seem like a hairy guy. I don't think he'd have a bush either. He's got that white type of person.

Like the Dilbert body? You don't have that much body hair, do you? I mean, I got some on my chest. I guess so. I feel like I'm more Italian-y, Lebanese, white-whites. I feel like they get away with not as much hair. You're hairier than me, for sure. I feel like I'm hairier.

You're very hairy. Yeah. It's disgusting. Frankly, we won't stand for it. We've been meaning to talk about it. Well, that's why we got Manscaped. Let's go to the app. Do we have Manscaped this week?

No. No, we don't. They gave up on us. No, they actually re-signed us. Oh, okay, good. So, yeah. There we go. Love you, Manscaped.

They re-signed us and they said, can you guys stop doing jokes about the movie Till? They go, we can see you guys regretting the joke as you're telling it, so stop saying it. I feel like Trump has orangutan hair all over his body. Like, long, wispy red hair. He probably

does. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right. Yeah yeah maybe you're right yeah maybe you're right i want to see what i want to see his uh his titties yeah have you seen that picture of him with his dick out and he's that's a fake picture i know it's fake but it's probably what it looks like yeah of course it's a fat guy with a tiny dick that's what it looks like have you seen it where he's getting spray tanned yeah yeah and his dick's out and it's like a him in the mirror i don't like this whole thing where it's like, who cares? Like, I don't care.

Like this whole like making fun of guys who are having small dicks now. It's hacked. I don't care about the dick stuff. It doesn't matter. I want to know if he has really big nipples. Who cares if your dick is small? The guy ruined your life for four years. He ruined my life?

No, he ruined all these people's lives to make fun of the small dick. It's like he won. What's crazy, I realized we're coming in three years. We're coming up on 10 years of people losing a decade of their life devoted to just being upset all the time that is so crazy in three years 10 years go by from 2016 so you have 20 so you have 2024 2025 and then we're back to when trump was running versus hillary and all that 2016 to 2026 will mark a 10 year period where everyone you lost a whole 10 years. They hated a guy so much they made themselves retarded and then they ruined all art. We saw everything.

We saw people completely renounce all of their artistic and creative work and what they believed in and family members. And I mean, you talk about people that just like erased their own history, their own identity, their own culture. In 2016, I remember the first Thanksgiving after Trump was elected. It was people literally being like, yeah, my blind 94-year-old uncle showed up to Thanksgiving this year, so I stabbed him. Yeah, because that was the return of... People were basically, it's a squash, like the GOP is basically. It's literally the same as like, he's a Nazi Nazi. Yeah. Yeah.

There are going to be people who like wake up in their 40s and they're like, I was just trying to get pussy. Yeah. I was just trying to get my dick sucked in silver, like, and now I'm trans. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We know a few comics like that. I knew comics where they would just show up out of nowhere and all of a sudden they're just like,

I'm gay, I'm 41, and I'm now gay. I don't fuck anybody. A lot of people became gay for like five years and the past two years they're shedding the gay thing now. The gay's over. People became gay for the pussy, which is kind of true. Some fellas out there... Devin, back me up on this.

That is true, Jace. They became gay for the pussy. Some fellas will do anything for the pussy. They'll turn themselves gay. Guys love pussy so much they'll fuck guys and make out with them to get pussy. If it turns a girl on to fuck

a guy a guy will do it a guy will do anything for i have a i have a friend who does know somebody from high school they were telling me the story they knew a guy in high school who pretended to be gay for like four years so he could go to like girls sleepovers and like that's amazing yeah like oh my god yeah they'd be like we get a dress in front of him, he's gay. He's like the Serpico of pussy. Yeah, just going into the back room and a mic, he goes, boys, I'm in and it's glorious. Just doing the Google Glass thing where he's recording.

Yeah, just taping down the hardest 14-year-old penis of all time. Oh, just duct taping? Like, just duct taping it to his leg. Yeah, he's walking back out of the bathroom just completely bent over. Like Ben when his back is bad. He goes, okay

ladies, now let's do a kissing contest. There's just pre-cum just seeping down my leg. Or this person's leg. This person's. You ever see a person and you can tell they were made from pre-cum? Like no one ever actually came in the making of them? Like they were an indie production?

Yeah, Fox Searchlight is their dad. No money was pumped into the making of this. They're the puffy chair of a person. They're like, this was made for seven grand by the Duplass brothers. Duplass brothers' first movie, right? Yeah. Yeah, there is that thing where it's like,

this cum was in oxygen for a while. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Like, this was clear. You know, you were a clear cum. You weren't a milky cum full of nutrients. A clear cum. Yeah, you were a glassy cum. Yeah. Glassy, yeah. Yeah, you were like water. A clear cum. Yeah, you were a glassy cum.

Yeah. Glassy, yeah. Yeah. You were like water. Mm-hmm. You want to be a milky cum. I think that's what all of us were. The milky cum.

We all had to have been milky cums. Yeah, you got to be a cum that hurts your dad because it's so thick. Yeah. You got to be a cum that later in the day your dad was like, man, I don't know. I feel fucking empty. To light. You want to be the cum where afterwards your dad goes to pee he's like my dick kind of hurts my dick hurts it's kind of like did i come too much and it hurt my dick yeah you know when you i don't know maybe this is only me i'm like i think you're about to say the same thing i was gonna say sometimes i

know what you're gonna say if i've come a hard come or twice in a day, it feels like my ass is empty. Oh, yeah. You've brought this up to me. I don't feel that. It feels like my- Like a cavernous ass? It just kind of feels like I'm empty in my buttocks. Are you like a camel?

That's where you keep your cum is in your ass? Maybe my cum's in my ass. Maybe you're gay. I don't shoot my own cum. Why would I waste it? I shoot other guys' cum. Your nuts are just two ass cheeks in the back of you. What were you going to say?

I was going to say. Oh, what were you going to say? I was going to say sometimes when I have sex and if it's vigorous sex, I feel like my dick gets beat up a little bit. Oh, yeah. And then I go to pee and it feels like my meatus hurts, which is the opening to your penis. Yeah, I've had that too. Oh, yeah. That's I go to pee and it feels like my meatus hurts, which is like the opening to your penis. Yeah, I've had that too.

Oh, yeah. That's normal. That's what happens. You ever had the actual weak in the knees feeling? That's bizarre. I've had that. That's weird. I've had that.

That's great. That's when you feel like, man, I got a moment out of life. That's when I knew I left my girlfriend because I almost blacked out the first time we had sex. I went up to go get a rag and I like almost like just domed off a coffee table. If you're walking to the bathroom

like Walter Jr., that's when you know you fucking had great sex. When I held a wall and I go, ooh, and I look back and I go, this is the one. Yeah.

When you put your hand on the wall and you go, dad killed Uncle Hank, you know you had great sex. So what I was going to say, so none of us were all thinking the same thing. None of us were thinking the same thing.

We all had separate piccadillos. So my thing I thought you were going to say is you come so hard that you have to when you're peeing later, you reach down to make sure you have both your balls still. Like you came so hard your body sacrificed one of them and it dissolved and you shot it out like a kidney stone like you came a pearl into her pussy yeah and now it's gonna turn into something that grows up

those dragon dildos that lay eggs maybe that's the feeling yeah yeah maybe that's the feeling i'm talking about i don't i mean i'm kind, but like it's, there's some sort of empty feeling in my hips or my, I don't know, around the dick back. No, I get it. It's empty. I really, the whole thing is so fucked the way the baby comes out of the pussy and stuff. The whole thing is bullshit.

I really think it should be an egg. It should be an egg. It should, they should lay an egg. That we hatch. No, you like put it, if you don't, and here's the thing. Your wife gives birth to an egg. It comes out of her pussy a couple of days after you come in her.

And you can take that and just put it in the freezer. And then when you're ready to be a father. Then you have. Then you can take it out of the freezer and you put it in the microwave to de-thaw it. You defrost it. Or you put it in the hot water. Yeah. And then it comes out and it starts walking around and calling you yay.

I agree. It should be like that. If you break that egg, Republican senators get really pissed off at you. Right. Guys in trucks trying to murder you. There's a lot of liberals out there making omelets. I just saw a pink-haired girl throw an egg on the ground.

I don't know if that was store-bought or if that was out of her cooter. All I know is I'm pissed the fuck off. There's a big egging ban. Supreme Court. No more ding dong ditching. No more. It should be an egg though. Those are precious lives.

It should absolutely be an egg and it's complete bullshit that it comes out like a slimy salamander. It comes out like something you go fishing with. You put it on the end of a hook to catch a catfish. There is something about... It's disgusting. There is something about the way we...

It's not right. It's sinful. They're full of sin. They're full of sin. They're full of sin. You're dressed like that preacher character in Little Nicky. Who was played by Quentin Tarantino by the way yeah it's like this fire is burning um it would be tight because humans we actually have like one of the quickest birth cycles

because um the fact that we stand upright means our hip uh bones are a lot more narrow so it's harder for us to give birth so we have to give birth a lot easier like horses give birth they're fully developed they can like be running within 20 minutes of being born so it would be tight if just like a whole fucking like five-year-old came out of a woman's pussy

yeah they just walk out like Hasmala the babies are born with they don't have They have like way more bones Than they're supposed to And they don't have kneecaps and stuff Because when they're in a When they're in the womb Their fucking legs and shit

It's crazy how they're How they're packed in there They need to squeeze through the hip bones Because the hip bones are so tight Yeah so all their shit is It's like quadruple jointed It's insane Yeah

They could like suck their own dick if they wanted to by bending back behind their ass. Like they're crazy. It's human evolution. It's training to be thrown in basements and trafficked. You can take a baby. It's traffic training. You can take a baby and crumple it up like a thing, a newspaper.

If you wanted to, you could just mold it into like a nice ball. If you wanted to. Should do that. Our sister's baby, I did see it playing on the floor and it grabbed both of its feet and just ripped them over its own head. Yeah, because nothing's grown yet. Yeah, yeah.

But it hurts us in terms of our survival. The way the baby is born, I'm about to sound really retarded, but the way the baby is born for us to be, like, have bigger craniums and,

like, bigger brains to, like, be more intelligent, the soft spot and all that stuff, it's totally fucked, but it allows us to be

evolutionary, much more intelligent the way, but it makes us incredibly vulnerable for years in that gestation period. We're in the middle of evolution, so, like,

in a thousand years, like, every woman will look like you know fucking just kim kardashian basically like they'll have insane childbearing hips yeah exactly yeah i don't know if that's how ladies are gonna look like but maybe if so we were born in the wrong time am i right guys i mean that's why like hard-working women from like you know lands that aren't easy like america usually have big hips and they have more supple asses. Irish women just shit a baby out in a field. Catholic women have,

because they're bred to fucking shoot out kids and not die. By the way, what is the rate of if you don't go to the hospital and you just have to have the baby right now? In movies and shit, they always die the baby right now like in movies and shit they always die but i feel like it's not the baby or the mom the mom the mom dying oh back in the day yeah yeah when they're like out in a field but even in movies now like post-apocalyptic movie like they'll always just die because there's no doctors and shit but like how necessary is that i feel i've seen videos of cops delivering babies like on the side of the road and the woman's fine.

I think I know what this is. I'm pretty sure like if it's dangerous to after a certain point to keep having children. I think then women kind of just kept getting pregnant over and over and over until they just sort of peaced out. Gotcha. So they became these, you know, they viewed themselves as like these machines for God to channel his life through. What's the most necessary stuff for a woman to have at the hospital when giving birth? What is really that? Hot water.

Hot water. They always need hot water in movies. Yeah, yeah. Hot water, towels. Yeah. Some ice chips. I guess painkillers or inject them with stuff. Diet Coke.

Coke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Some Takis. Yeah. Just doing a muckbang while you're giving birth. A PSP. Coke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Some Takis. Just doing a muck bang while you're giving birth. A PSP. Yeah.

Some fam. We need hot water and Family Guy clips. Staff. Just watching Family Guy as your son is born. Yeah. This bird's long in here. Pulling out your phone to watch film.

Yeah, and then you name the kid Chris Griffin, you know, Moroney or whatever your last name is. I named all my kids after the family guy kids. This is Brian. This is Stewie. This is Meg. God bless the guy who named his kid after Seth MacFarlane. God bless that person.

Is there a guy who did that? Because of family. I'm sure that someone goes... And that kid died at 9-11. You only name your children after famous people that almost died at 9-11. Yeah. My children, Seth MacFarlane, Mark Wahlberg. Steve Ranazzisi.

And Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. We're at an hour 20. Yeah, let's go over there. We're going to head to the Patreon. I need to get some water and take a shit. This is the Kobe's 81 point game, by the way, that we were playing the whole time. Yep.

They just started the fourth. If you want to see what happens in Kobe's 81 point game, subscribe to the Patreon. 55 points in the second half. Suck my dick. He had 62 points in three quarters three weeks earlier. Would have had more. Devin.

It's nice to- He played in the fourth. When things mattered, you know? This is literally when things mattered. When things mattered. No one watches the NBA anymore or knows what it is. It's worthless. I literally watched women's college basketball this morning and I was like, wow, this is

great, I guess. No, your TV is just for Apple Airplay. That's all a TV is for now. It's for nothing else. I just watch YouTube videos of insane people with GoPros attached to their head give Border Patrol problems. It's better entertainment than anything out there.

I watch fishing channels that I like, Will and Don, and then I'll watch the, you know when the Roku thing goes, the screensaver? Yeah, I watch the Roku City. I watch that. I like that. My favorite, I don't watch, TV sucksaver. Yeah, I watch the Roku City. I watch that.

I like that. My favorite, I don't watch, TV sucks ass. I'll watch, certain shows I'll watch, but for the most part, I'm on YouTube

and I'm watching a guy just open doors. Just a lot of a guy with a camera on his hat and he's just opening the door. Walking in, looking at people, walking out.

Better. Much better. Much better. Devin is, Devin is Hate Watch Pod. Yes. Much better. Much better. Devin is hatewatchpod. Yes. But the Patreon, if you want to support and watch more stuff, is patreon.com slash limbaparty. We just finished a sketch today that we're going to shoot this weekend, so that's cool. We're coming up with merch that we're going to do.

So we're going to do merch and stuff. And I'm trying to think of anything else. But I don't know if this is the Patreon or the regular or what's going on. Who knows? But I really have to pee. I have to pee too. And I'm sorry guys if we talk... We don't talk about Trump usually.

And I'm sorry I had to talk about... You got indicted. Sorry I talked about school shootings too. I'm sorry about that. Those don't ever happen either. I'm sorry if I didn't have good opinions on it or whatever. I don't even think I had an opinion on it. It sorry about that those don't ever happen either I'm sorry if I didn't have good opinions on it I don't even think I had an opinion on it you just said trans a bunch I think your biggest takeaway you want people to know

is no matter what happens you hate gay people that's what you want the people to know as long as you cleared it up I think something happens, right? Shooting or like some big Trump gets indicted or some guy gets killed that shouldn't have by the cops. And I don't.

I go, Ben, reserve your judgment. You got to get more evidence first. You got to look at this objectively. You can't go to your default response. Go to Anthony Kamiya's Twitter. Find out what his opinion is and then be a vessel for it. Be a complete mirror of whatever Anthony Kamiya thinks about what's going on in the world. Exactly.

Let those guys, let them outsource your thinking to people like Anthony Kamiya. That's what I say. I agree, too. I love you, Anthony Camillo. Just please stop. I don't know. Please. Just cut it out.

I love you, Anthony. You're so funny. God damn it. You're so fucking funny. It's just so insane at this point, but I love you so much. You're so funny. Stop sharing videos of black people on Twitter. You're so funny.

Throw your cell phone into the Atlantic Ocean, please. Love you, Anthony. Love you. All right. Bye, everyone. Bye. love you Anthony love you alright bye everyone bye Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok Thank you.