lemonparty - 025: the old Bud Light

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

www.patreon.com/lemonparty www.displate.com/lemonparty use code lemon www.mybookie.website/lemonparty deposit 200 dollars and play with 300 dollars instantly. use code "lemon" www.manscaped.com promo code lemonparty for 20% off ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 #lemonparty #lemonpartypodcast #benavery #jaceavery #devancosta Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These words, these words, these words. You motherfuckers! Uh, now I just gotta turn all the lights on. But I'm rolling the audio if you guys want to start. You don't have to. Oh, wow. We haven't done the soy face yet, so why would we? Yeah, why the fuck would we?

I get all catty. Why would we do it, man? Yeah. We would start it if somebody would start the soy face. Yeah. Why? Maybe if you could do the whole fucking point of

the show. Soy face. The whole reason we're here is for you to do soy face. The whole fucking reason. We all know that.

That's the reason why the show's big. Do I have your headphones? Oh yeah. I got the plug-in one. Yeah.

This is good stuff though. Definitely. Keep this. I think people like this stuff Keep this Yeah the behind the scenes Where we're just

We're wordlessly Untangling cords Yeah Is this your Okay Yeah Okay Is everything good

Uh huh Uh Would you like a zen buddy I would love one Yeah Thank you Of course Anything for you pal

I legitimately I thought that was like are we live streaming right now? Oh, shit, yeah. It looks like some shitty MTV movie where everyone dies on a carnival. Yeah, yeah. Or one of the movies they made during COVID. Yeah, exactly. It's like Stephen Kwan trying to find his daughter through FaceTime. Boy, what a worthless time.

All the COVID movies that were made. Is this mine? I think that's Ben. Can you hand me the what a worthless time. All the COVID movies that were made. Is this mine? I think so. That's Ben. Can you hand me the other one? Yeah. All right, great. This is like retard ASMR.

Right in the right way. We can't figure out how to do our lucrative job that takes no work. Yeah. How do we... What is mics? Let's not even record. What is microphone? Fuck it.

This looks good, I think. Probably looks like shit. Okay. Yay! Yay! Yay! It's the soy face. Yay. Yay. It's the soy face. Yay.

For some reason, this really satisfies me. There we go. Oh, that's nice. Devin, how far are you leaning back? Right there? Like here. Cool, now you're good. I lean.

You got me these new leaning chairs. I got to use them. I'm about to do something that's going to really piss off a lot of people. What are you going to do? But you guys know I'm a fan of uh inclusivity and i'm an ally and so that's why i brought out oh yeah baby i'm a prop comic were you were you searching for the trans can but i literally i went there and i was like where the fuck's the guy check one you have to ask the indian guy working like, where the fuck's the guy? Check one, test. You have to ask the Indian guy working.

Hey, where's the freak on the can? I go, where's the beer for the babies? Ooh, let's take a sip. Maybe it's different. Oh, yeah, I already kind of want to do a mass shooting. You crack it and they replace it all with cum. Ooh, that's nice. That's nice.

Big can of hormones. Every 20th can, we put Dylan's cum in it. Just for the fans. Gun to hand, no idea who that lady is. Dylan Mulvaney? Oh, Dylan Mulvaney. No idea who that is. She sounds...

I think she's a she. I don't know. They sound like... I don't know. It's a perfect... It's a she, I think. Yeah, it's a perfect school shooter name, Dylan Mulvaney. No idea who that is. She sounds... I think she's a she. I don't know. They sound like... I don't know. It's a perfect... It's a she, I think. Yeah. It's a perfect school shooter name, Dylan Mulvaney.

Yep. It is. It is. She's kind of like the trans Andrew Tate. Like a psyop. You're not really sure where they came from. Overnight, they're just taking over the world. At war with Greta Thunberg.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. She does look like if a school shooter became prom queen they gave her like the tiara and everything yeah it's like carrie but for school shooters yeah yeah they drop the bucket of cum on her as she pulls out the ar and doors are locked from the outside yeah she's like a tlc character that they're just giving like the world to now like if somebody that fucked their car on like you know tlc was just my 600 pound gay life yeah nike's just like we want you to be the new spokesperson you fuck cars

legitimately not gonna look it up no idea who it is don't know if it's an athlete or i don't know if it's leah thomas as a swimmer i don't know if it's an athlete or a rapper or a top 40 lady i don't know if it's taylor swift's agent yeah it could be an astronaut i don't know if it's an athlete or a rapper or a top 40 lady. I don't know if it's Taylor Swift's agent. It could be an astronaut. I don't know what's going on at all. I know Tucker Carlson's mad. I know other people are mad. I don't know what's going on.

She's just an incredible troll. It's just like a troll. But who is she? I don't know. She did a thing where she's just a gay guy. And a lot of gay guys are simply just, okay,

now we're breaking it down. A lot of, a lot of very, you know, want to be famous gay guys are just simply mentally ill people. So if you go back

in his catalog, it's just like, he's on the prices, right? He's on like every daytime show. Just like, yay.

And then they, you know, they grew their hair out, started putting on bras and then they did a thing where it's like, I'm going to go a whole year of being a woman. And I guess documented it on TikTok. And people, it's fun to watch because you're kind of like, you're kind of shitting on women.

It's kind of funny. Oh, wait, this is a real thing. They did like, I'm only a woman for the next year. I don't know. No, no, not only a woman. It's like, I'm going to document my first year as a woman. I don't know no no not only a woman it's like I'm gonna document my first year as a woman so I think Bud Light's whole thing is like it's 365 days of being you know an insane exploiter of an entire gender right we know you people are struggling for rights and issues but what

if we use that to sell beer exactly look at that titless man now get in your car and drive home drink 18 of us and go crash into a kid. So, yeah, I really have no clue either, Ben, but I don't know. Everyone's pissed because they keep giving her, like, the spokesperson of everything. Nike, everything. I would love if she had to embrace the Bud Light lifestyle. Yeah. She suddenly has to drive like an F-150.

Exactly. Have a goatee and a big flat cap. She has to get her truck nuts chopped off. They put a big pussy on the back of her truck. Truck clits. Yeah, it's just another fun thing to have in our worthless world. They make her start commenting on Rogan's Instagram for his live dates. Wish I could have been there, brother.

Wish I could have been there, brother, but I was getting my dick chopped off. Wish I could have been there, but I was getting estrogen pumped into my neck. Yeah, it's good times. Good times. I just realized I'm going to have to stop at like 45 minutes because I forgot to reset the SD card oh okay I'm going to stop at like 45 and I'll move it over and then

fuck that's fine that's okay we'll figure it out we'll stop and then we'll keep recording why don't you get the phone going oh you know what we'll do recording. Why don't you get the phone going? Oh, you know what?

We'll do the phone. We'll do the phone. We'll do the phone. Fuck it, we'll do the phone. However, my phone is filled to the brim with videos of birds. I'll have to make some room. It really is you will come over to the house. I think I've talked about this like once every four months and you figure out what the new autism thing is.

You're like, all right, everybody. It's birds now. It's now birds. It's birds. Yep. You do like a PR release. Like it's birds now. I'm a bird guy.

I send you guys. I have my publicist send you guys press releases. You have like the MJ coming back from baseball just like it's birds. Yep. It's a new thing every year with Ben. It's like, I'm really into window panes.

I'm getting into the natural world. I'm out here. I'm connected with nature. You know, I got to thank it all to the whale. Yeah,

because the whale got me into Moby Dick. Moby Dick got me into whales. And whales got me in. It opened up a whole new... I never thought about animals in this way. I've only ever really thought about dogs and petting them and how cute they are. Now I'm just fascinated to the...

I'm up to the gills in birds now. I'm totally feathered. I'm flustered. I'm out there. I'm videoing. I'm out there. I'm videoing. I got hummingbirds. I'm making nectar. Yeah, you sent us the hummingbirds. You're making nectar. I'm stirring nectar.

You're like Badger in the RV just making hummingbird nectar. It's just scissor. All the birds are just hammered. Birds just flying into glass. Just playing mask off. You're out there holding your hand out.

Yeah, you're putting a little fedora, black fedora on a bird like he's future. And then he just tries to fly backwards but can't stop and just, yeah. Yeah. You feed a bird and then it goes home and hits its wife.

Yeah, you come over to Ben's and he's like, really into French doors now. I'm a French door guy. How does, have you ever seen a guy and then you go, fuck, how do you get there? But now I kind of get it because it's just lily pads to other shit. Like this might, I've always looked at guys that get into beekeeping. I'm like, who the fuck gets really into beekeeping? And now I get it because now I'm into hummingbirds. It's basically bees.

You might. Yeah, the next step is we might come over and you're in a full bee costume. But somehow you've put all the bees inside of the bee suit. So you're just getting massacred. I'm in the Hurt Locker jacket. Just walking down the streets of LA with swarms of bees. Yeah. Falling...

Just going into a coffee bean. Oh, shit. Gracie just came in. Hello, Gracie. Hello, Gracie. Shut that door. Let me get that door shut. Gracie heard us talking about Dylan.

Dylan Mulvaney. Yeah. She had some thoughts to get out. Yeah. Columbine's very own. Dylan Mulvaney. Dylan Mulvaney. Prom queen of Columbine High. Another guy shot up a place today or something.

Saw that. Louisville. Big Dem. Yeah. I saw Ian Miles Chong was all flustered about that one. Well, what can you expect from the Dems? You know why I think he shot up? I saw on his LinkedIn he had his pronouns in his bio.

Yeah. His he, him. So I think the reason he had his pronouns in his bio. His he, him. So I think the reason he shot up something in Louisville and killed a bunch of people was because of pronouns in his bio. I think the reason the shooting happened is because of something I don't like. Yes, exactly.

He was a radical left Demarat. After going through his Twitter, his Facebook, his Instagram, finally his LinkedIn. Now I think he's bad yep the shooter yep i do imagine ian miles chong and those guys when they find out the shooter is a lib they just start filling their diaper at their chair yeah yeah oh he's he's doing he's he like unplugs his dick from his robot sex machine he's the only person who touches weird fucked up penis yeah yeah no they take their shit and they put marks under their eyes like they're a football player

don't you picture andy no and those guys literally doing that though like they just they're like oh man they're just cracking a a bud light from last year yeah yeah totally they're just going nuts yeah he's hitting us he's hitting a sign that says single out black teenagers in florida today like he's at notre dame yeah he's like all right hands in we're gonna go find videos of 14 year old stealing honey buns on three one two three just flying to portland to watch a subway be burned down it's unfortunate but these are the last wins for political parties yeah the other political party does a shooting. And then they just turn on a big chalkboard. It says Libs shootings and GOP shootings.

And they just put one on the board. They put a mark next to it. And there's 8,000 under both categories. And they're like, looks like it's 8,000 to one, Libs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, big day for Ian Miles Chong, I guess. Congrats to Ian and uh everybody else who yeah congrats to the people on the winning team right exactly i think we won this one

i even saw you got me i saw today like steven crowder was tweeting anti-woke mario movie a smash at the box office anti-woke mario movie yeah What's an anti-woke Mario? How does that work? Yeah, yeah. They said because they cast like white people to play Mario that they're like it's an anti-woke movie.

Oh, man. I didn't know even that was co-opted. I think, and I'm not kidding because Mario beats Donkey Kong in the movie, they think it's an anti-woke movie.

Right, right. Of course. You might be right. That's it. You just summed it up. Yeah, they're like, I catch what you're throwing down there. So then there's a big evil gorilla in the movie.

And the white people kill it. And Bowser is Asian. We all know that. The final scene in the movie, Mario is kneeling on Donkey Kong's neck for eight minutes. Well, that's actually already in Rise of Gru. Oh, shit. How could I forget? The Minions.

They killed George Floyd. Yeah. They shoot Donkey Kong 80 times because he's holding a banana. They think it's a gun. He's just getting... He's getting... He's the only player who got pulled over in Mario Kart. Just by...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the guy in the cloud with the camera, but he's wearing a cop uniform. He's going, hands, hands, hands, hands! Then he shoots him anytime. He keeps dropping shells all over the road. Black puddles. Everyone in the Super Mario world looks racist

as shit. Yeah. You're telling me Wario doesn't drop an M-bomb? Oh, yeah. Online. Wario's're telling me Wario doesn't drop an M-bomb? Oh, yeah. Online. Wario's the most... Wario weirds out the other racist characters. Wario has a show on the Kumea Compound Network.

For sure. Wario's definitely going like, they're only 13. I can't do the voice. Yeah. They're only 13% of the population. And you're like, no.

Wario's got a big problem with Bilber's wife. Toad looks like fucking the Dalai Lama's handler. Toad is just sex trafficking children in Tibet for the Dalai Lama. That's right. What was the Dalai Lama doing? He's having like fucking

BDSM sex with kids on stage. Something like that. He was trying to bite the tongue out of a child's mouth. Yeah, yeah. He was doing like wet t-shirt contests with a kid. He's doing the man show.

The Dalai Lama. Right. He's like, we have the juggies jump on the TV. The little kid. That was creepy as shit. What the fuck is going on? I don't know, man.

It's all out in the open now yeah like in a year it'll just be like the pope just like raping a child on stage yeah like in front of the day show yeah like on the today show in the in the box on the pope mobile they just throw a kid in like it's the cow in jurassic park you just see him thrashing around yeah that was weird as shit and then the shooter was a strapping young lad like they're getting they're turning into like they're like just they're just like handsome they look like you now the shooters yeah oh thank you they gotta look shitty thank you for us to feel you know yeah they're like five star prospects now yeah you know no really it's it's

these brock turners they're turning to shootings now, too. I wonder what people are going to start doing when the shooters... Because the shooters are getting... It's getting so common. It's getting eclectic. I'm kind of curious

because eventually there's going to be a shooter who's like really hot. Like a busty girl with huge... A girl that looks like Kim Kardashian, basically. Right. Going through

just mowing people down in a school. Titties... She looks like a Tomb Raider. Right. Going through just mowing people down in a school. Mm-hmm. Titties. She looks like a Tomb Raider. You know Tomb Raider? Lara Croft. Lara Croft.

Yeah, yeah. Some bitch like that. Mm-hmm. A Cortana type bitch. Yeah. Going through just sniping kids. Mm-hmm. Resting a rifle on her right titty while she shoots people.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like a grindhouse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that'll happen. Big gun leg. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that'll happen. Big gun leg.

Yeah, shooting at people. Trying to kill her ass doctor because her ass exploded at the Cheesecake Factory. She's hanging out with the Delk Boys. It's easy for guys to separate the art from the artist when it comes to really hot ladies doing bad shit. And then for women, they can't separate. This is why they're sicker.

For women, they can't separate the art from the artist, and they still get wet. They like that serial, like Ted Pundy, they like that he killed all those women, and it really gets them off. That's so much sicker than, because to us, we can just see a really hot lady who drowned her kids,

and we don't even think about all the bad shit we she did right and we're still rubbing one out yeah casey anthony sure amanda knox yeah yeah i'm not thinking of women will think about the kids that were killed yeah and rub one out yeah if they're empaths those fucking broads yeah you could be fucking amanda knox you're just like, don't think about the roommate or whatever. I'll just push that. Right, exactly. And then the minute I nut, I'm like, oh, shit. I got to get...

Fuck you. There's a knife under the pillow or something. That's her dildo. Yeah. Do you guys have any clue why women get off to guys having killed a bunch of ladies? Because they want to be killed. That's the ultimate sign of love. So does that make them feel special where they go, loved me so much you wanted to kill me in a

deep sick way yeah i think so yeah they want to be they want to be consumed yeah yeah so women are really neglected that much and ignored that much they just like attention yeah yeah it's the ultimate attention so much attention like i'm killing you as you die yeah like hey my spotlight's on you right because they're just married to just guys around the country who are like saturdays are for the boys exactly they're like sundays are for bundy so there's there's thousands of women married to like a uh like a business major barstool sports guy in dallas texas and she's like she's chewing him out like, God damn it. Would you just get off the couch once in a while and just strangle me?

Would you throw me against the wall every now and then put a knife to my throat? Would you threaten? Would you threaten to kill me and the kids for once and get me off? Yeah. I'm drier than shit over here. Yeah. She would settle for a huge argument that never gets resolved and culminates in like having passionate sex.

Yes. But she's just like, can you take the trash out? And he's looking for a Zen under the couch and he just ignores her. Yeah. And that's their relationship. So the opposite of that, I find somebody in a cell. He's butchered 85 women, but I can fix him too. I think it's the I can fix him.

Yeah. But what they really want would really spice up the relationship is taking a carving knife on Thanksgiving to their neck when everyone leaves but I guess it really is on us though because if we just listen to them then they wouldn't want to fuck Ted Bundy and all these people

if we actually listen but here's the thing that's an impossible task it kind of is though all I've done is master dissociation you have to i know it's non-stop nonsense 10 of what they're saying is meaningful 10 you have to sift through it like a prospector like you're a 49er you have to decide what do i tune into you know i mean it's like i you'll get a call like they'll go out to go to the store you get a call like i was cut off or something you're like what who if you were any guy i'd stop ever speaking i'd never speak to you most women are the equivalent of the shittiest guy you know yeah it's true

i tune out not mine not yours not yours all the rest if any of our girlfriends and our wife is listening to this we're not talking about you and also i ask you to not listen to the podcast don't listen to this i've asked you many times and you keep doing it when when because sometimes i need to go guy mode when women talk i listen to uh i don't listen to words or anything and i don't even like look at like i look somewhere about their face somewhere somewhere in the vicinity of their face you're like Michael Caine's training for acting by talking to a woman

he's like what you do is so you don't sound that so I used to think we've all been talking to a woman she's born as shit you go from the left eye to the right eye and I learned that from Boja Smith I just look at like they turn into basically five seconds into a woman

speaking she turns into a shape i just see a blurry shape it's like the way a dog sees the world yeah you unfocus your eyes like a magic eight like the magic posters that has the castle yeah yeah and that that's and then i listen for i don't listen to words i listen i don't know you guys i listen for like pitch and frequency and I can tell at the certain hertz and decibels whether or not I need to start tuning in to whatever the hell she's saying. And then I pick up every other word and I kind of, I put it together. That's kind of what I do. It's like a Sudoku.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. I'm telling you. I think I'm pretty good at it, actually. It's, you have to get good at it or your heart will explode. Yeah, yeah. You will get eaten alive. it or your heart will explode. Yeah, yeah. You will get eaten alive.

You'll be eaten alive. It's pretty vicious. I got to say, you know what? I always fail. I always fail the, what did I just say? I always fail. I've never passed that one time. Oh, you're okay?

Okay, what did I just say? Right. I go, fuck. Yeah. You said, but uh-huh. And then you said, but uh-huh. And that's because i love you that means you're done talking exactly because you went no but no baby you went uh-huh which i know means i

start talking now yeah yeah yeah yeah you know uh you really have to ask that question when you've been really riveting what did i just? No one ever needed to ask that if what they were saying mattered. Right, right. And then you can summarize it like, no, there was a guy at the bank and he was kind of weird, but he wasn't weird at you.

And you can't really describe how he was being weird, but it was just a vibe and then you didn't like that. And then you drove home and you wanted to get frozen yogurt, but you didn't want to and you wished I was there so I would get it with you,

and then you wouldn't feel bad, but I was at work making money for us, is what you were saying. They often will also do this thing where it's like, they're just a constant center of attention that they think everyone is aware of their lives. They say people, like auxiliary people, that you don't know, never met,

they call them by their first name all the time, like you've met them, and you have to be like, I don't know who never met. They call them by their first name all the time. Like, you've met them. And you have to be like, I don't know who Sharon is. Or can't, like, stop saying, well, Sharon was, I don't know. I've never met her. You know? You'll be on, like, a road trip, too, or something.

Everything dates back to them. Like, they are the center of their own world. Like Patrice said, they're lead characters in the movie of their life. And they're, like, the star of their own movie. We've been, I've been on, like, a road trip in the middle of nowhere and i don't like see somebody be like is that kelsey and i'd be like who's kelsey like my best friend in first grade i'm like what are the chances that your best friend in first grade's in the middle of the desert right now like only because

you're living in the movie of your life you're in death valley right yeah you're like 100 people live yeah and sometimes you even nail it where you'll be like oh kelsey from new york and they're like no kelsey who threw her baby in the ocean and it died you're like you know eight kelsey's i'm sorry i was taking a fucking shot in the dark every every story is my friend sucks yeah that's how you can sum up every story is my friend was being weird and they suck it's like maybe you suck yeah maybe maybe you attract in life who you are yeah maybe you suck also being coy about men being really nice to them and acting like it's just because of me like i have no idea like coming home being like so yeah i started talking this guy was he's kept giving me drinks and he was really nice and he owns his business and then at the end of

the night he offered me like 50 of his business what do you think that's about and they're like he's a nice guy they're like no no he's a nice guy he offered me 50 he pulled his dick out sorry but that was unrelated unrelated the business ventures yeah women can cheat and not even know they cheated no i was hanging out with my straight guy friend you know we went eight hours solo in the woods you know just chilling but he's a great guy he loves you he's a big fan of you

he doesn't listen to the podcast but he said he's glad that he said he's not angry that you exist and they're like no he's like no he has a girlfriend he's like no it's like he has a girlfriend he cheats on it's fine

woo yeah mm-hmm letting the ladies have it today oh yeah Claire Mulvaney or what is it

Dylan Mulvaney Dylan Mulvaney this is what happens when you take our our gender away right we stop playing by the rules we're not playing by the rules anymore.

We're drinking the old Bud Light. Yeah, this is the old one. It's like the old Kanye. Hell yeah. This is the adjacent to the Confederate flag Bud Light. I like the old Bud Light. Did you see people are going on eBay buying the old Bud Light for like $150 a can? I'm sure there's guys acting like it's Philly when the water became not drinkable.

Sure. They just got a horse trailer and they just add every 7-Eleven. Oh, there's a lot of hillbillies dying of dehydration because they never drink water. This was their water. Right. They have to switch to regular Bud because they don't realize it's a different company. There was fucking Dan Critch. I was really funny. He tweeted, he's like, company. There was fucking Dan Critch. It was really funny.

He tweeted, he's like, this house is a Bud Light free zone. And then he tweeted another beer that's directly owned by Anheuser-Busch. That's classic. You guys missed it. Brendan Fraser just fell over in the whale. He tried to stand up, but he fell over. It's like a big part at the beginning act, too. It's like a big stunt. Yeah, yeah. He fell over. Look at that. He tried to stand up and he fell over. It's like a big part at the beginning act, too. It's like a big stunt.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he fell over. Look at that. He tried to stand up and he fell. And now he's reading a book about a squid. Look at that fat piece of shit. Yeah.

And this is what... To bring it home, this is what a woman did to him. The secret metaphor of this movie is being in a 12 year marriage that's so bad you become gay. Out of an over, out of a pendulum swinging the other way. You know, I don't

even want to fuck him, but I'm gonna just because of the conversations are better. Can you imagine how much he would suck if he was a lady? Brendan Frazier? No, no, no. This and the whale. Like if the whale starred a big fat lady instead. Oh, if this was the... First of all, he'd be happily dating a 100-pound Hispanic man.

Yep. She wouldn't work. The incredulous cholo. The incredulous cholo. She'd be dating that guy. She'd be dating a guy who just holds her from behind in public in line at the movie theater.

Yep. And then the whole movie would be her complaining about how no guys want to fuck her. Yep. While she writes, like, rupee cower, like,

fucking poetry. Yeah, yeah. Milk and honey. Yeah. Yeah. Milk. She only has the book because she thinks

that food's in it. She bought milk because she thinks there's that foods in it she bought milk and i guess she goes oh where is it she buys she buys cookbooks to look at the food it's porn yeah yeah she's jerking off to it yeah she'd be the most annoying woman on twitter of all time yeah oh for sure the whole movie would just be like her trying to cancel like Kurt Metzger or something. Yeah. The whole movie would be her being like, how come nobody wants to fuck me? And it's like, well, what if you fuck this also fat person? She's like, that's kind of gross. I don't want to do that.

That's my biggest pet peeve with fat people as a person who's also struggled with his weight is I've seen people openly complain like no fit people want to fuck me. Right. And it's like, well, you can fuck fat people. Like, that's also an option. And they're like, oh, I don't do that.

It's kind of sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm a little better than that because I've created this lie in my head to survive looking in the mirror and not blowing my brains out. It's like the women on the dating websites that are like, you know, I don't like to be objectified. And then they're like, I don't date anybody over,

like under six, three. Yeah, exactly. Yeah three yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah and the lady looks like uh a young roxanne gay yeah the lady looks like a rorschach test yeah looks like lindy west in a stairwell yeah yeah lindy south ladies and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen we're like ly South. More like Lindy South, ladies and gentlemen. That will be phase three of the podcast is us doing bombing comic on The Supremacist comedy. Which still would be the second best podcast out there. What happened to those broads?

What ladies? I don't know, all those fat, fun, ruining women. Oh, their hearts exploded like four years ago. They're still writing books somehow about like being hungry they just put out like scrapbooks of like menus of restaurants they ate at it's very strange what they put out have you seen like roxanne gay's books they're all titled like hunger and things like that yeah it's very weird she does have a book called hunger she has a book called hunger i'm guessing the book is about it's about her belly yeah her big enormous belly it's about that one three minute period in her life where she was hungry i remember august 7, 5 p.m.

It was a Tuesday. Like it's the Gettysburg address or something. I had just gotten out of surgery, so I couldn't eat for five hours. Surgery to repair my shrapnel exploded heart. It was my colonoscopy. I was 24. Right. Because really, at the end of the day, those are doing the exact same things as like the quote unquote nice guys where they're like women don't want to

like fuck nice guys and it's like well you've built there's nothing about you you've built to attract women right you know right and they're like all these assholes get women it's like yeah they they go to the gym they're obsessed with wealth like they've you know like it's like if you try

if you're going fishing and you just threw a line into the water with no hook on the end of it you're like why am i not catching fish right and then there's a guy who yeah granted he's a he sucks he's a chad but he's like like a big he's got a lure with metal and feathers coming out of it and shit you know yeah it's true it's crazy that like 120 years ago it was actually really difficult to become a great big fat guy so much so that if you got really fat like people thought you were fucking awesome yeah yeah they would fist bump you if they saw you they take pictures with you with the old the ones when you only get like one picture in your whole life there were sometimes in america where they just the fattest guy became the mayor every year they'd

have a big scale and whoever was the fattest got a big top. It was a sign of wealth. Yeah. Right? Yeah. If you were really fat, people just assumed you had a boat. And like a bunch of suits. Yeah.

There was fat guys clubs in New York. I don't know if you ever saw that photo from like 1903 in New York City. I was just like, it was called like the big men's club. Yeah. It was called like the Gout Room. I think gout used to be a sign of like, it was the only rich people got. Because of the King's disease?

King's disease. Right. And they had like a secret handshake if you were in the club. You could be, it's just a handshake, but it sticks when you try to pull them apart.

Yeah, they just suck your fingers. Like, that's a nice feel. Oh, that feels like. Yeah, you exchange whatever candy stuck to your shirt in the handshake, like a bribe. I, that feels like it. Yeah, you exchange whatever candy's stuck to your shirt in the handshake like a bribe. I wonder what the hell people did back then if they couldn't get pussy. Like, what the hell?

Because now people just gaslight everybody into being like, no, I should get pussy, basically. They construct a world on the internet where they're like, no, actually, I get a ton of pussy. Or they're like, no, actually, I should get the most pussy. Or they just like, you know, they go lock and load, as they say. Yeah. Every man, as they grow up, they discover some elaborate ruse of a personality to get pussy. Yeah.

And they, you know, some people get really into like a Midwest emo band and they get laid that way, you know. Some people get like, they go to, they really study hard at school and they get a finance job and then they get a hot wife that way. Right i guess people get like they go to they really study hard at school and they get a finance job and then they get a hot wife that way right you know right i guess back in the day you could be like oh uh you could like enlist in like the civil war yeah and then you go like try to become a war hero just so you can finally get your dick sucked right return home so you can go in a barn somewhere and then lay back in a bale of hay and get sucked off. Yeah, but your first day in battle,

you're like a cannonball blows your dick off. Right. Yeah. It's also the Civil War. There wasn't like great documentation for your heroics. You know, people are like, I guess. Oh, because it's like, yeah.

Well, you gave yourself the medal. You're like the only man standing because you hid. Yeah, there's no video of it. There's no video. You come out at the end of the battle, you're like, oh, I've killed 80 guys. we did i won i won yeah we saw you crawling out of a hole and then you just

shoot that guy yeah you're like he killed himself he's a coward you take his blood you put it on you and you act like you know you really yeah you really did something out there yeah you're like that was a red coat that's his blood not some guy I killed because he saw me crawling out of a hole in a field. Can I say I do know? People always go, oh, dude, if I was in Nazi Germany, like I wouldn't have been a Nazi. Can I just say I know for a fact if I was in war, right? If I had to be enlisted, let's just say I was in the Southern Army. Okay.

Let's just say that. Let's just say my lineage, the Southern Army. Okay. Let's just say that. Let's just say my lineage, all my ancestors are from the South. I probably would have ended up fighting for the South. Sure, right. I would run immediately. As soon as the battle starts, I am dropping my rifle, and I am running as fast as, I don't care who's calling me gay, as I'm pushing past people

I'm screaming and crying like a baby pissing myself I'm filling my pants with shit I'm tripping over my shit that's spilling out of the bottom of my knickers yep yep I would go one further I wouldn't even get that far I would like the day they're they come to town they're like all right all eligible men I would go behind a barn. I'd break my own foot. Oh yeah. You'd injure yourself. And you want to know why the only, the only way you'd be able to stay around is they'd be like,

what'd you call pants? I kind of realized that they said it. I was like, oh geez. Yeah. Yeah. It's a rough one. It's a rough one.

Especially when you're talking about hypothetically fighting for the South. Hypothetically fighting for the Confederates. Right. There's going to be a couple, the Patreon episode is you going, now hypothetically, I was born in New York. I would probably go down to the South

to fight for the rebel cops. Yeah, yeah. All my family's from the royalty of the Gilded Age in Manhattan, and still, and still. Right., I can't, and still. Right. Say I was born in Nepal in the 1800s

and I was 60 around that time. I would get on a cruiser and I'd go to the, I'd somehow instinctually from my superior racism know there was a big war happening. I was stolen, like in 12 Years a Slave. I was sold into the Confederacy. Yeah, 12 Years a Racist I was sold into the Confederacy. 12 years a racist. Still don't know what happened with the whole Civil War thing.

Because supposedly Robert E. Lee was one of the greatest generals to ever live. He was amazing. Supposedly the South was just stacked. It was like Golden State. And they fumbled it somehow. It was literally just the North had black guys. That was it. Oh, right.

I forgot about that. It was like in Glory Road when they're like, how did they win the first national championship with the far superior basketball team? The North had a bit more motivation. It's

so funny that they had a very racist and very qualified famous general and his name is Barney. Yeah, that's funny. That is very funny. That's pretty uh, famous general. And his name is. Yeah, that's funny. That is very funny. That's pretty funny, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, you should hear his stories from Tijuana. Hey, he's on that Mulvaney. Hey,

that old Bud Light. It was Robert E. Lee is like, it was a lot. He's like, I made that. I'm trying to be entertaining. He's like, yeah, we fought the war, but it was a lot. I was bored.

Robert E. Lee also probably power fucked a kid. He probably did. Sure. Things were lawless then. Let's go along. Let's run with it yeah why not no why not sure i'll say it yeah robert e lee probably fucked children yeah he did talk about it on dvd also one time what what what hey i didn't fucking make it up i didn't i didn't i'm

not saying anything. I don't even know what you're talking about. There's no truth to it. He said he made it up. I don't know who anyone is. Same as that midget that said that he was living in that woman's pussy on the tour bus or something. Yeah, he turned a woman's pussy into the Shire on Collisman's tour bus. Brad Williams, right?

Yeah, yeah. He said there was some story where he was like, I was living in her pussy for a year. I crawled out one night. Like it's the Shire? Yeah. If you haven't looked it up, go to Getting Doug With High. What's it? Brad Williams?

Yeah. He tells a story that's clearly made. I think it's made up. I think it's made up, yeah. It's like him trying to be like a party rock story. And the end of the punchline that he came up with while he was catatonically high is, so I raped her. Like all the other comics. But he told it like a true story and so all the other comics on

the show were like hey i think that's whoa i think you raped a drunk woman he's like what no and then he's also catatonically high what a nightmare yeah so you can see a little person realize he's throwing his life away i don't know if i could like be in a blunt rotation with like a a little person a little rapist yeah like i'm sitting across from a baby and he's telling me he like raped a woman yeah like on spring break yeah and i'm just he's passing me the blunt no thanks yeah fucking nightmare yeah exactly nightmare no thanks stewie nightmare yeah exactly nightmare no thanks stewie i think if i yeah if i hit the blunt and then i pass it to and his little fingers touch my hand i think i would like freak out yeah like you think you're gonna start shrinking i might pick

him up and just throw him like with one hand sure i was i was if i was a midget comedian stand-up comedian sure I would go on stage. I would have a little stool and a little microphone and a little mic stand to match my height. But a big glass of water. Yeah, but a regular glass of water. Yeah. Can you plug my...

I think my headphones came. Oh, sorry. I think Gracie's fat ass rolled over my headphones. Hold on. Oh, yeah. We got to prepare for the... We got to get that other camera going, too. Jace, you're stepping on your own.

Okay, I'm sorry, Gracie. This really is a metaphor for your life. Sorry, Gracie. Well, I don't want to be attacked. All right, well, wait till I send Katie the time-stamped link of you talking about talking to her. We all just start blackmailing each other with the podcast.

Just ready to send each clip to each other's girlfriends. I'm going to get divorced and I'm going to start dating the Bud Light lady. Yeah. That would be a good turn for us, actually. Yeah, it'd be great. If we do a hard trans right turn out of nowhere. Imagine the sponsors we get.

Yeah, we get so many. I mean, the patron would go down to negative $5. The next day. We've had people We owe Patreon money. Yeah, we've had people threaten to cancel. Patreon would call us and be like, there's no retards, no trans. Like, you gotta

pick it up. We could get her on. You think so? Yeah. Dylan? Dylan. I think we could do it. I think we could do it. We could figure it out someday. We probably could. Wow. This plate. This plate.

This plate. This plate. This plate. This plate. Stop doing Carmen voice. Ha, cringe. You like cringe? Ha.

You're being cringe right now. Devin, you're choogy. I'm going to need you to take two seats two steps back real quick queen you're being choogy quick vibe check Dev why are you being choogy choogy means like millennial cringy you're being so choogy

like if you're being very millennial you're choogy like a live laugh love type of thing is choogy we'll have fun at school bruh bruh i've just found out your body count bruh you're being

choogy you're being choogy okay none of that he probably doesn't want any of this in he's cool okay so this is it this is in the show right now

yeah it's in the show yeah we're technically doing the show right now we're keeping it we in the show. We're technically doing the show right now. Fuck it. We'll do it live. Bruh. Bruh, this plate is a one-of-a-kind metal poster designed to capture your unique passions.

This plate created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy, tart, mag... Shit. Fuck. Fuck. God damn it, Ben. This plate created a 21st century canvas that's sturdy magnet mounted and durable enough to withstand a lifetime of intense staring but staring is only half the fun you can customize collect and rearrange them at will this plate has branded

and artistic work they have over 1 million designs available for everyone, including official designs from brands like Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Netflix, and NASA. Whoa! Plenty of games and movies. If you like something, they mostly likely have a design for it. You know what ones I like? I picked out a Lord of the Rings poster that was really sick.

I picked out a poster from the movie Alien that was badass. I picked out a cute one with a kitten on it holding a baby chicken, and it said different is beautiful. And I got that for Katie, and she hung it in the stairwell. She really liked it.

That's nice. I love the South Park one. I'd love a couple of those. This South Park one kicks ass. I'd love that. There's a bunch of South Park ones. There's ones of Eric Hartman, and I think there's ones of Tally, too. There's ones like, respect my tits.

Right, right, right. Please stop with the voice. Okay. Jesus. Alright. Sorry. You know. What, did you ever watch the show growing up, idiot? Each product is a high-quality design printed on metal in Europe. Wow.

And hand-signed by their master of production. I also got an old World War I poster that was really sick. I gave to Katie. They're incredibly well made. From Austria. Super sturdy, and they look great uh this plate created a unique safe easy magnet mounting system that takes 20 seconds only that's true no need for drilling your walls yeah you don't want to get your landlord mad so this is

a magnet all you need to do is wipe your wall with a cleaning wipe stick a protective leaf place a magnet and put this plate on your wall, and it's that easy. This plate delivers its products worldwide in only four to five business days. It's a perfect alternative for standard paper posters that often get damaged, and it doesn't leave marks on the wall. They are eco-friendly. Wow. Or do you say eco-friendly?

Eco-friendly. Yeah. Eco-friendly? Or they're for bats? Yeah. For every design sold, they? Eco-friendly. Yeah. Echo-friendly? Or they're for bats. Yeah. For every design sold, they are planting one tree. Wow, that's awesome. But they don't tell you what they're going to do with those trees once they're full grown.

What are you implying? I don't know. We're not implying anything in the ad because we haven't finished with the copy. They already said they're metals from Europe. You know what that means. So, call to action. Use the link in the description or go to Displate.com slash Lemon Party

and use code Lemon at the checkout to get 22% off for one to two Displates or 33% off for three and more Displates, which is what you should do. That's a great bargain. 33% off for three and more Displates or 22% off for one to two Displates, which is what you should do. That's a great bargain. 33% off for three and more Displates or 22% off for one to two Displates. Both are great deals.

At Displate.com slash Lemon Party and use code Lemon at the checkout. Displate, collect your passions. Thank you, Displate. Thank you, Displate. Have a good one, buddy. Thank you, Victor. Bye.

Gentlemen, if you didn't already know, it's tax season here in the U.S. Am I allowed to be funny? Yeah, I think Manscaped is pretty cool. Cool. I've emailed the guy. He's a nice dude. Cool. Well, if you didn't already know, it's tax season here in the U.S., and you know what

that means? It means that Manscaped is here to make sure your paperwork is done and your boys downstairs are having fun. Yeah, they're talking about your balls. That's sick. Yeah. And your penis too, I guess. They're not talking about that, dude.

Says here they are. Make sure you spend your tax return money on the important things this year like family, friends, and ball deodorant. They were just talking about balls. See? This is right. Yeah. I uploaded this copy.

I don't know what this company was. Something about... Oh, here. It says here, join the 8 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped by going to manscaped.com for 20% off plus free shipping with code lemonparty.

Huh. I would love to join 8 million men in something. How about you guys? Like a march? Yeah. I love a march with men. With 8 million men in something. How about you guys? Like a march? Yeah. Yeah, I love a march with men. 8 million of them. I'm thinking about 8 million men, that's 16 million balls.

Yep. Yep. And almost 8 million penises. Yeah, almost. Could be like Dylan Mulvaney's in there. Yeah, exactly. They just signed him. Or her.

Sorry. Jesus. Fuck! you yeah who knows what better way to i'm sure you think dylan mulvaney is going to be on the new season of uh the last of us last of a season two is yeah she'll play gay mushroom when the kid grows up they'll just turn it into dylan they'd be weird in the zombie apocalypse to become trans like the world's over and the zombies don't even kill you because they're too busy just to Dylan. They'd be weird in a zombie apocalypse to become trans. The world's over. And the zombies don't even kill you because they're too busy just yelling about it. Yeah, having an argument.

Zombies are like, I gotta get on Twitter. Zombies are like, I think this is sick. Everybody's like, whoa. The other zombies are like, whoa. Just fucking bite them. Right. Listen, the Bud Light's annoying, but I mean, they're still people what better way to invest your tax return than into yourself manscape has a full package from

head to toe to make sure you get your money's worth this april the performance package 4.0 is the ultimate bundle you need to reinvent yourself and your confidence the lawnmower 4.0 trimmer is the star of the show offering Offering, hey, it's like me. It's the star of the show. That's right. It's offering a precise shave on all your wildest hedges. Equipped with an LED light, you can navigate in and out of those difficult areas with ease.

Did we mention it's waterproof as well? More exciting news, guys. The Performance Package 4.0 now includes Manscaped's brand new Weed Whacker 2.0 ear and nose hair trimmer. This bad boy has been totally revamped with a new and improved blade and motor. And dare I say this is the best ear nose hair trimmer ever? Cordless, rechargeable, and comes with skin safe technology, which helps reduce nicks, snags tugs after cleaning your nose make sure to get rid of that foul ball smell with the crop preserver and crop reviver the crop preserver is an anti chafing bald deodorant and moisturizer the crop reviver is a spray-on toner for your balls keep

your boys from sticking to your leg and leaving them feeling brand new for all my guys out there with a little scruff manscape nowped now has beard products. Yeah, the whole package. Their brand new Beard Hedger Pro Kit is the head honcho. Man, they really got everything. Yeah. Containing nine plus products plus wet goods, this is everything you need to craft your signature look. It's like a Swiss Army knife, guys.

The start of spring also marks the start of Testicular Cancer Awareness Month in April. Did you guys know that? I did know that. So Manscaped has partnered with Testicular Cancer Society to bring awareness to testicular cancer, men's health, and early cancer detection. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code LemonParty at Manscaped.com. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code LemonParty at Manscaped.com. Don't get your money back this year. Get your swagger back too with manscaped oh oh oh guys mlb is finally back in full swing and my bookie is going to be your one-stop shop for all your betting needs lock in futures on

your favorite club to win the world series to take advantage of crazy boosted odds via the my bookie money bag my bookie makes it simple for you to sign up and play you bet you win and they pay sign up today at my bookie and use promo code lemon to secure a first deposit bonus up to a thousand dollars it's simple deposit two $200 and play with $300 instantly. Just use promo code LEMON to claim your bonus. Whether you're a diehard or a casual fan, simply put, there's never been a better time to start exploring the world of online sports betting with MyBookie.

Bet anything, anytime, anywhere with MyBookie. It's simple. Deposit $200 and play with $ bookie. It's simple. Deposit $200 and play with $300 instantly. Just use promo code LEMON to claim your bonus. I have hope. I know we can get on

the OJ detective, Mark Furman. We could get Furman on? You're not going to believe this. Furman's a big fan of the podcast. I also love Ben just going, know the oj detective yeah mark firman mark firman the detective for whites we can get him yeah the most uh probably the most racist detective i guess quote unquote i mean honestly he did kill yeah we're talking about 90s lapd he was definitely racist but the the the the tapes of him that that really helped out oj a lot i mean that was for a he's just a retard yeah it was for

a like like indie documentary thing so a script writer was talking to him yeah and he would clearly i think was trying to like land a role in the movie or something so he was just going like tom sizemore and heat yeah no he was like that was his the performance of like he thought he was going to be in like a david ayers film yeah after that and then it was just used because you know oj had like the dream team and they exploited anything they could and so it was like brilliantly used but it wasn't that wasn't just like footage or audio of him just genuinely saying all those horrible things it was like a movie because i think he also like made up a bunch of stories and stuff too, right? Yeah.

Like, yeah, I just hit him in the head because he's a black guy, like that type of shit. But I don't think that was just, that wasn't him in the moment. That wasn't natural. Wait, so did they have a tape of him using the N-word or something like that? Yes, they had an endless tape. You can see Marcia Clark in court. It's like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah, it was almost like a bit. Your Honor, it was the first podcast. Mark Furman. Your Honor, Mark Furman was doing the first podcast. They don't exist yet, but he's a little bit ahead of his time. Your Honor, it was on Lemon Party bonus episode. It was behind a paywall, Your Honor.

The lawyer stands up and goes, Your Honor, that's a Patreon episode. That is inadmissible. That's not for the public. Overruled. Overruled. We paid for the $5 to you. Yeah, because he withheld it from them, too.

He never told Marsha Clark or Darden. I think they asked him, like, have you ever used it? And he's like, absolutely not. Really, that's their fault for not having the other warrior go the black lawyer leave the room yeah and marsh just be like all right now for real i know you're a little nervous around chris yeah but for real we all use it right uh should i start setting up the phone i guess yeah go for it the phone gone because the stuff they played in court was almost like it was like a bad bit out of like a family guy episode yes but what's but but it was like hilarious because it was it was admissed or it was it was it was it wasn't uh inadmissible

like it was used as like evidence of him being racist that he's racist and planted the glove and everything i don't think they took into account at all that it was like theater basically yeah yeah i mean that's what they were doing on purpose yeah it was very brilliant i mean i guess i just i love i love those guys i guys. I love OJ's lawyers. I love the whole thing. I think, you know, Nicole, I think kind of she was like a modern Jesus. Truly, yeah. I think she died for our entertainment sins. Because, like, honestly, if you told me, like, if that doesn't happen,

I might press the button, like, no, he still kills them. Like, because it's just too fun. Yeah, yeah, of course. I would never save Nicole's if given the option. No, I'd watch it. I'd be like, this is going to be huge. Yeah, yeah. I'm not taking away the people Nicole's if given the option. No, I'd watch it. I'd be like, this is gonna be huge. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not taking away the People vs. O.J. Simpson. I'm like, this is gonna be really entertaining someday. I'm like, Sarah Paulson needs this to escape

the American Horror Story universe. She's a great actor. I would never give up Nicole's life. What, so she could fuck Marcus Allen a couple more times? I know, yeah, come on.

He was gonna do it eventually anyway. I know, she was fucking the entire know. Yeah, come on. He was going to do it eventually anyway. I know. She was fucking the entire NFL. Yeah. You know, you're asking to get your whole head cut off. You're banging a bus boy. Come on.

It is hard to watch. Well, what's his face? The Ron. Ron Goldman. Goldman. His family. Yeah. That doesn't make me feel good watching them be sad.

No, yeah. That's rough. His dad who looks like he owns a candy store. His dad looks like he has a fake mustache. He had a fake mustache and beard on the whole time. Looks like a Charlie Kelly character. He looks like he's investigating OJ secretly.

He puts that on to follow OJ around. Right. What's his dad's name um i don't know i forget but man what a fucking case love it love uh effley bailey i was gonna say effley bailey's great incredible dude doesn't he drop doesn't effley bailey drop a hard in in his like seven minutes that he gets up? He does, but he's because he's quoting. I think he's quoting Furman. But he didn't speak the entire trial. And they're like, all right, F. Lee, you get seven minutes for F.

Bombs. Just go for it. He went up there and he's like, I was, you know, I was around like I was in Mississippi burning and shit like I can handle this. He's like, I'm not dressed like a deacon for no reason. We're about to we're about to drop some hard ends right now so i sometimes still just i feel bad for chris darden i'll just drive around being like man i feel bad for that guy yeah you know what a loser i know he fucked it all up and he was such a good guy he just wanted to do the right thing i know and then

ultimately like his like your biggest fuck-up is celebrated by your community i know right exactly it's so it's it's it's a tale you know that you no one could write that right imagine you're it's the worst day of your professional life and your neighbors are throwing a barbecue when you get home yeah because of that because of that you're like guys he's guilty and they're like fuck you motherfucker you see what they done to us in this country you're like i know but i'm a lawyer i'm a lawyer i was used by garcetti to try and win this case lazily because i just threw a black person at it well what what am i an executive for the wb or whatever well i mean they got what they deserve hello they got what they deserved honestly because uh you know they were trying to they were

initially going to have the jury be in like Santa Monica. Yes. I think. Yeah. He would have been indicted. Oh, one day trial. Yeah.

One day trial. The jury, like it would have been halfway like through the first day. And the jury's like, hey, we got this. Judge, we good. Yeah. But instead they're like, no, we're not racist. We're going to have the trial take place at like watts towers right the watts towers we're gonna make sure to have 12 black jurors that's totally not gonna backfire dude the black panther on in the jury i know when they had no

clue that the very end oj gets off and he's he's standing there in the fist they're like jury number one fred hampton of course course. What did they suspect? Yeah. Jury number two, Dr. Umar Kuzman. Yeah. Jury number three, who's the alien god? Oh, Yacoub. Yacoub. Yeah, you see? It's so interesting.

With the giant head. Yacoub's giant head. There's a sketch artist drawing a coupe hell yeah ben you're not a big oj trial guy are you uh i saw the uh i saw something i saw the i think the cuba one the cuba good yeah it all right. I thought it was cool. I'm looking up Yacoub now. You never watched the 30 for 30? On Yacoub? Huh? On Yacoub?

Yeah. The 30 for 30 on Yacoub. It's just like LeBron, George Foreman. They're like, you have to understand, when Yacoub invented white people, Yacoub invented white people to be bad at sports. Yes. That's the only. He invented white people to be bad at sports yes that's the only he invented white people to create the washington generals yeah he just really wanted to see birdman anderson

fuck up the dunk contest and then you could died and mac mcclung just like rose from the ashes you could have been a lab creating Birdman that's his ultimate the culmination of his life's work he's gonna really throw a wrench in things he's gonna do so badly at the dunk contest he becomes an entirely different type of white person he's gonna go into the dunk contest

a fucking Sean White guy and three years later he's gonna look like Badger and Skinny Pete. Yep, there he is. There's Yacoub. There he is. Classic Yacoub. All praise. Glory be to God. Not as much stuff on Yacoub as you'd think. He was in Britain's Got Talent in 2020.

Yeah, he was. God, I wish I was a guy that just watched shows like Britain's Got Talent. My life would be so much easier. Mm-hmm. But my life fucking sucks. I just sit around and watch birds all day. I watch birds come to my bird feeder.

Yeah. I wish I could watch The Masked Singer all day. Like, if you shaved that kid's head off, he would have the Yacoub head. Yeah, he would. Mm-hmm. Anyways, back to Family Guy. I'm going back to my favorite family back back to our roots which is top family guy moments okay sorry so that camera is recording now okay sick and uh

but yeah my understanding of oj is very limited like uh i think i came into knowledge about uh into knowing about oj just because of like weekend update norm jokes right and that was like kind of the genesis like i didn't know he was a football player or anything i had no i had no uh you gotta watch the 30 for 30 you got me you got me you got me walter white hands i'm a white guy you got you got me just walter went to the blm rally you got me that You got me. Just waltzed away to the BLM rally. You got me. You got me.

That's right. I was using it to buy six homes. You got me. It's breaking down, but they're just using BLM to buy mansions in Atlanta. Jesse. Jesse. The JR Crickets. We're laundering money. Jesse Jesse The J.R. Crickets We're laundering money

Jesse we've got to start A Zoom class To not be racist People will pay thousands What were they supposed To spend the money on though? What do you mean? Like the BLM money

Not personal mansions I don't know I mean what are you What are you going to do? I don't know What are they going to What are they going to open? I have wondered that What are they supposed to do With the money? They're supposed to buy A couple of houses I guess I think they're just Supp going to do? I don't know. What are they going to open? I have wondered that.

What are they supposed to do with the money? They're supposed to buy a couple houses. I think they're just supposed to send it to black. They're supposed to make their own little government and do reparations, like send black people money. Ship people money. Every black person gets a check for $85. I don't know how it fucking works, but I don't know what the point of it donating anything

is to anything. It's never going to. For for the tax write off of your own benefit right yeah pretty much or to like wash money if you have your own foundation can you just send money through that and then back to yourself basically you just wash it make it clean that's why I was buying all those

titty pics during BLM that people were doing so I could write that off on my taxes what a time people we knew. That was the crazy thing is you could buy, I mean, it's the ultimate porn fantasy

of being like, I literally wish I could go to Google and type in like, woman I know getting fucked. Right, right. Yeah, the schizophrenic. Woman from the library, anal.

It was the only time you could be like, oh, that's schizophrenic at the open mic, like I can see your tits. Here, here's 10 bucks. Yeah, sure, why not? Anyway, I photoshopped tits. Here, here's 10 bucks. Yeah, sure. Why not?

Anyway, I photoshopped this receipt. All right, now send back the picture, Jeff Daniels. And she killed herself. No, I avoided the ones who killed themselves. We didn't do that. I want it. I want it on the record. She's a fucking bitch.

I sent her 10 bucks, and then she killed herself before she sent me the pictures of her tits. There was. I bought like three just because I was. I was. I was. I talked about that before. I talked about that before.

You have. Yeah. Ben just doesn't listen. Right. You turn into my wife. All right. Then what did I say? Yeah.

We are two gray shapes in Ben's vision. What did I say Ben? I bought like shapes in ben's vision what did i say ben um i bought like three and i it was always so funny because you didn't know what to like you sent them the receipt like i donated 40 right and then they would send a titty pick and then i would just give like a thumbs up emoji because i didn't know what to say like it's still we're not gonna fuck right you send the black power fist back you kind of have to right yeah i think you send that

i sent the the white hand a thumbs up emoji the phil mickelson i had to hold it down and then change it to the white thumb to send it back it just slide it all the way over from yellow yeah i mean we were terrified it was like it was like the via con you just were like i'm gonna get sniped from a tree somewhere yeah we had no clue what the point of life was you're like i'm gonna send money to this bitch yeah scary time i felt like minesweeper i was scared to send texts in group chats you know like that's how insane it was how did they did you have to send evidence that you sent money to blm yeah that's what you you sent like i donated to like the minneapolis you know freedom project and then like took her screenshot

of the receipt she gets back to you she's like you donated money to ibm you bought stocks yeah yeah were the titties nice yeah no they were not they were never nice yeah yeah we should get a thing in here that says like black owned business oh yeah that'll be that'll be the merch yeah just so nobody ever fucks with our room oh yeah that'll be that'll be the merch yeah just so nobody ever fucks with our room yeah to keep ben's house safe we put just a board that says we love that was my favorite part of blm was people boarding up the stores and like spray painting like please blacks no we love you but god damn it get out of here yeah totally a chinese guy spray painting black owned business on his like laundromat for some

reason i never thought like the race war like if there if a race war broke out that like o'reilly's auto parts would suffer the most you know yeah just the most rand you're just like wow they i don't know i guess auto zone is like the clan yeah they were just blowing up like the weirdest businesses yeah and it was and it was also very funny the militia guys were like uh o'reilly's has fallen like radioing their other bb gun enthusiast loser friends yep and being like the midas has fallen ladies and gentlemen bevmo is no more uh yeah they just got yogurt land um they got yogurt land we must protect the good target not the shitty target not the shitty one get the target express they're almost a target the one

with the escalator yes we'll send all the boys down i kind of miss it yeah i mean turns out all that stuff was probably funded by intelligence groups. By us, yeah. Did I talk about this already? I went on Twitter the other day, and I just see Charlie Kirk is speaking at something that doesn't exist. If you Google it, you go, that place doesn't exist. But he's speaking at it for some reason. Yeah, he's speaking at In-N-Out University.

Right. And the event's like for some reason. Yeah, he's speaking at like In-N-Out University. Right. And the event's like for Israel somehow. Yeah. Every event is like, you follow the money long enough, it's for Israel. Yeah. Yeah, so Charlie Kirk is speaking,

and God knows what that guy is saying. It's probably, he's just babbling into a mic. He has no idea what's going on. He's challenging the green M&M to a fist fight. He's like, you and me, Caesar's Palace, August 25th. And then going like, my face is not small. I do not have it.

Those are Photoshop pictures of my face. I have a normal size small face i did i did not suck off kyle retinhouse we did not make out me and kyle did not fuck at a bob's big boy and give each other the thumbs up you and me caesar caesar's palace me versus the green m&m no rules. I want you. I looked at that. The green one is the androgynous one now. And then the purple one's the non-binary queer one. So good for some reason.

Because I thought the green one was the was the gay guy. I also just love every corporation. Like, first off, if you're mad at the M&Ms, you're mentally retarded and should kill yourself. But also the corporations. Like, you're mad at chocolate you're in you're in a psych you're in a psyop battle with chocolate yeah it's it's in rob schneider's right if there's the that's the definition of the word retarded um but also what do i think oh whatever rob schneider yeah whatever rob schneider things

that's what i think but also the the people at the good m&ms company who are just like what if we gave them asses so they could get fucked in them right what if we made sure they're getting fucked these little chocolates yeah they elliot page that little uh damn m&m yeah they did they cut its fucking tits off and stuff which is fine which is fine which is fine but like and look i'm not pissed about it but i don't know it's just like yeah they made the m&m androgynous now yeah which is whatever and it doesn't have as big as eyelashes of eyelashes anymore and you go okay that's not really a gay one it's just like a flat chested lady right which that's fine and then but then the purple one they made a big fat gay guy yeah yeah the purple one's a big fat queer one have

you seen the m&m lineup and we'll get back to the Charlie Kirk thing in a second. No, let's do the Eminem stuff. But I actually do kind of understand people being very, very upset about this. Because I was a bit bewildered myself. Well, I'm a man of tradition. This is upsetting. Yeah, what I'm saying is what's funny to me is imagining... Anyone upset?

Yeah, the Mars family in a boardroom also is very funny to me like just the crustiest old evil guys in america yeah so here's like the coke brothers just being like could we make him gay make him gay showing a picture of their fail son who's tried to kill himself and became trans make him look like jeff give the cadbury egg tits so the purple one's androgynous no the the purple one's androgynous? No, the green one is androgynous now. It's nowhere near as hot as it used to be. You just have high heels.

I guess it's doing like, but it's doing very gay hands. That is true. See? Androgynous? Its eyelashes are much smaller. What? They gave the green M&M like dick-sucking lips. Look at those DSLs. I'd face-fuck that thing right now.

Oh my god, come here. Actually, yeah, it kind of is hotter. What's the fucking orange one doing? The orange one looks like it's really terrified of trans people. The orange one's like, oh no! Our southern traditions. The preservation of the white people. Yeah, the orange one talks like Jimmy Stewart.

It's like, well, you can't be a woman, you're a man. I can give you a moon. I'm not going to give you tits. I'll give you the moon. It's a wonderful life, but the angel is saving him from becoming a woman. Goes, well, if I became a woman, that boy would have fallen through the ice. I couldn't swim to him because I got big fat tits. And I wouldn't want to get my shirt wet.

Merry Christmas, Caitlyn Jenner. Merry Christmas, Elliot Page. Merry Christmas, burned down estrogen factory. Merry Christmas, Eric. Merry Christmas. Well, well, well, my pussy isn't here. It's in your, it's in old man Jeffers farm. My pussy's in the Costco

downtown. Who says Santa's got a gender, everybody? Come on. Yeah, he says the end of the movie is he saves the bank by starting a GoFundMe. To George Bailey, the gayest man in town. Oh, fuck yeah.

What is this, a funeral for a blue M&M? Yeah, this lady got an M&M themed funeral, which makes me laugh. Oh my God. She got buried in the, I think this is the almond.

The blue one's the almond, I'm pretty sure. You know that had to be a closed casket funeral too. Just from all the, just from whatever horrifically happened to her head when she died. Oh, yeah. Man, brutal.

What a completely worthless country we live in. Full of the dumbest people that deserve nothing. Truly. Deserve nothing. Matter of factly said. What do you think this memory for this kid's going to be like? Like, when he looks back on this, he's like, ah, holy shit, I cried over a big M&M.

That kid just shot a bunch of people in Louisville today. He might. He literally might be the same kid. Might be the same guy. Oh, shit. Man. Yep. Bury me in a big M&M.

Yeah, just in therapy 20 years later yeah my mom blew her head off and then got buried down in m&m yeah grandma killed herself in front of us yeah so that's why i paid a woman to crush my balls and that's how your daddy lost a ball to a bdsm lady people really you shouldn't have to respect people's will wills no not at all if it's silly no no yeah then fuck that man this is fucked up people that like leave their money to a cat you shouldn't have to respect people's wills. No, not at all. If it's silly, no. Fuck that, man. This is fucked up. People that leave their money to a cat,

shit like that. Look at this bitch. Look at this lady. I don't get the point she's trying to make. So she's pro them changing the, or is this political, or she's love M&M's? You think she killed herself in protest over the M&M's? I don't know. I'm trying to figure out.

I don't know. She probably asked if they could put a MAGA hat on the M&M, and they're like, we just don't have the manpower to do it out. I don't know. She probably asked if they could put a MAGA hat on the M&M. And they're like, we just don't have the manpower to do it. It's so insane what aging does to people. Just your brain. I mean, this lady probably was like, I used to fuck Kennedy. Right.

She used to be a young, vibrant woman who's like. Yeah, doing the Charles thing. Shaking her tits around, getting fucked downtown. I was with Kennedy when the Bay of Pigs happened. He came in my mouth when the first troops dropped. I got drunk from his cum. Right. And now she's just like, Facebook told me the M&Ms

are making my son gay. Lady, he used to get railed. What happened to you? He used to get butt fucked by sailors home from the war. He used to get fucking rim- rim jobs out.

Now look at you. Yeah, you're pissed about the M&Ms. Now look at you. She's got nice big thighs on her too. Yeah, I bet she was a real queen.

They all got those big thighs. Did she know she was going to die so she took a picture with herself before she killed herself with the angel wing? This was probably

right after she died. This was the... They propped her up. They propped her up like she was Jesse James. And everybody in town paid a nickel to see her. Put her on a bunch of ice in the square.

I was going to say about Charlie Kirk. Yes. Charlie Kirk, he's like trending, so I click on it and I go, oh, people are mad he's speaking. I go, that doesn't make any sense. No one really cares anymore about anything right especially like charlie kirk is like kind of his relevance is like waning yeah yeah and then i click on it and i see like there there's people with masks and they're in all black and there's like seven of them and they're

it looks like they're just trying to open these doors to an auditorium to get in, and one of them breaks a window, and the cop, the protection or whatever is like, talking into a walkie that's squawking, and it's just sort of a grainy video, and that's going viral, and they're like, I can't believe Antifa on the left, and blah, blah, blah, and then you go, that video, that is in, that is where they shot the moon landing. Wherever they did that, they're shooting all this stuff in a sound room. Charlie Kirk isn't even there. He's not speaking.

None of this stuff. I'm going to say it again. None of, I don't think any of this is happening. I think this stuff is funded by, I think it's all a psyop. If you're paying attention

to that at all. Yeah, they're like, look at Antifa attacking the Charlie Kirk auditorium. It's just like January 6 videos that they've like just zoomed in on. Yeah, yeah.

It's like World War Z footage. If it is real, they just need to stop showing up and protesting it because it makes them feel important. Charlie Kirk, if he's giving an incredibly retarded speech. Where he's nothing to say. And windows are being broken. He thinks he's like Malcolm X now. Of like white people. Exactly. And also stop putting it on the fucking news.

Because it's not news. Right. It's not news. Yeah. Who is he? It's Trump got charged and everybody like went 2017 mode again. Which is really, I thought people would like learn. But there was like the same retards on either side of a stanchion yelling at each other.

Russ Cole with the beer can, dude. Yeah. Yep. It all started all over again. It's a flat circle. I guess you're right. Yeah. Yeah.

That's why we all have to grow ponytails and start drinking really hard. Okay. I'm halfway there. I've been growing my hair out. Yeah. I was kind of like, you know, because I'm like, you know, I'm like, I don't need to like really date anymore. Like, what if I just like went real sicko mode? Got a long ponytail and gained like 200 pounds.

Yeah. I'm going to work on you this year. You're going to be drinking by the end of the year. I got my eye on Jace. This will start with you. Like I'm a football prospect? Yeah, I still have to do some paperwork to figure out how to crack you. You're the blind side of drinking.

It's like, we're going to get that boy on the field. Whether he knows about it or not. I'm driving him like, he looks like a good drunk, honey. Let's adopt him. Yeah, just me. Holding a cardboard side that says, so bus. Because what is the point? I can't become a guy who has a ponytail and David Foster Wallace little glasses.

And I'm sitting in my backyard just staring at a bird. Yeah. That I've been luring for years. I have to be hammered. Right. And suddenly, if you're like all that autistic stuff is just cool now. Like you staring at the bird. That is true.

You're hammered off martinis at 2 p.m. Yeah. It's like badass. If I'm drunk, it's awesome. Yeah. The one weird thing about all the interest you're starting to have is that they really go along with like a glass of scotch they're alcohol adjacent activities they're things that only guys that are like excited to drink a glass of scotch at 3 p.m do i think we are we are circling the drain of a massive relapse yeah yeah i might be a turd going

down a bowl who knows and at the i'm gonna go down the fucking i'm gonna go down the pipe yeah and i'm just gonna end up in a sewer of just like a bud light yeah but who knows maybe at the i'm gonna go down the fucking i'm gonna go down the pipe yeah and i'm just gonna end up in a sewer of just like a bud light yeah but who knows maybe you go through i'm gonna ride that shit maybe you go through a wormhole into a whole nother galaxy you know find a new level of racism previously unknown beforehand wow yeah like an untapped source in the core of the earth like a new mineral you're you're reling. You're freaking Anthony Cumia out. Who knows? Yeah.

You become so racist that it actually stops racism. I take it to its farthest known boundary. Yeah. You're like measuring the skulls of dinosaurs or something. You just go real left brain with it. I become the Jurassic Park guy. The old guy, but for racism. Yeah, David Attenborough.

Is that David Attenborough? Oh, no, it's his brother in Jurassic Park. Oh, the guy with the little cane. Yeah, the guy, the main, the creator of Jurassic Park. Yeah, the guy who looks like Colonel Sanders, but more racist. Yeah.

Yeah, the phrenologist of fucking dinosaurs. We've designed a dinosaur that's all white. Pointing at a brontosaurus, he's like, he can dunk. You feel like in that case... They trained dinosaurs to do manual labor. We got these dinosaurs

on a chain gang. Yeah, T-Rex just singing while swinging a hammer. Oh, Jesus gave me water. Jesus. Jesus. What? Brontosaurus singing Wade in the Water. Oh, fuck.

This is good good This is like The paint wash days When it was hot as shit We were all getting Like loopy I know I'm so sweaty Just letting them fly

Yeah there is something About us When it gets too hot We go like Southern courtroom mode Yeah And we're just like Here we go baby

But for real though That move Jurassic Park does feel like he's in this lab. How does he talk? He goes, there. In this lab, we have the eggs. We've frozen eggs of a brontosaurus, and we'll bring it back to life.

And guess what else we can bring back to life? You remember Adolf Hitler, don't you? Follow me in this room. Yeah, they have the little cartoon that in this room. That's, yeah. They have the little cartoon that goes, that's right, Nazi DNA. We take... Let me show you.

Let us go for a ride. Hop on this train. We found a bit of Hitler's brain lodged in a bullet in a wall in Berlin. Cause they're fucking, we use that to create. It opens with archeologists.

Just digging. And they just hold up. They found Hitler's mustache, just the mustache. And they're going to clone him. Cause they're like on Epstein Island in that movie. Yeah. I think that's the,

yeah. Um, I hope the video is recording, but I think we're over an hour now so not that we that's what we try to do but you know whatever we gave them a lot of racism this episode so I think we can

I think we told the line well as usual and we're sponsored by Bud Light that's fine sponsored by Bud Light Devin hate watch pod patreon.com slash Lumen Party for more episodes for video and audio on the Patreon. Join. We have almost 4,000 people there on the Patreon.

So we're having a lot of fun over there. Also, live streams on the YouTube Clips channel. Lemon Party Clips. So make sure you subscribe to that. We're going live every Wednesday at 4 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. So you don't want to miss those. Yeah, we're going to have a lot of fun this summer. We got the pool. We could just set the

camera up and just go. We can let it fly. By the way, happy birthday to the great Joey LaFleur. Happy birthday, Joey. Send him some love. Joey R. LaFleur. At Joey R. L-A-F-L-E-U-R. Yep. On Instagram.

Go to Joey's Instagram. Give him some pussy. Go to Joey's Instagram. Give him some pussy. Show him some love. Are we going to see Joey later? Is he doing anything? We could. I mean, yeah. Maybe.

I'll go see Joey. It's a work day, so. I'll go see Joey. Yeah, we're working right now. It's a work day. That's true. Yeah, we're in the lab. We're in the lab.

Yeah, we're in the lab. Honey, don't bother us. We're complaining about you and being racist. We in the lab with a pen and a pad. Yeah, we're in the lab. Honey, don't bother us. We're complaining about you and being racist. Sorry, we in the lab with a pen and a pad. Yeah, writing Lemon Party clips is that clip of Gunna when he's writing and the fire goes everywhere. It's like a young thug

on the computer. Ben has no clue. Ben thinks we're talking about fucking war people. Yeah, he thinks it's like gangsters from the 20s. He's like, yeah, you know, like Babyface Nelson. Of course, yeah.

Bugsy Siegel, Young Thug. Yeah, YG, all the guys. Babyface. Babyface Nelson. Yeah, Wu-Tang Clan, they were the Chinese bank robbers. Yeah, we all know who you're talking about. Of course, Meyer Lansky, Notorious B.I.G. I guess we need to have a qualifier for all the female listeners who might be mad is that guys are

I mean it's bad that we don't listen also but also also we're just doing bits it's a joke no I was being dead serious Ben was being dead serious I'm also being serious yeah me too but it's a joke if I have a question about this later it's a joke yeah but

we're not gonna we don't we don't take it that seriously yeah it's a joke we're loving it's a serious joke we love we love who we love we love who we're with we that's the thing with us is we love everybody who's immediately in our lives and everybody outside of it we hate unanimously that's a good philosophy for life yeah if you're offended if you're offended by it then you just want to get it yep yeah i recommend you watch uh joker i didn't need to type that in dude please joker please see if there's a result for yakub joker okay that's way too twisted whatever i think my computer's gonna congratulate me

that I finally like passed the test and like I can ascend to another dimension there's unfortunately no results for Yakub Joker yeah damn well there is some stuff I will be watching later though yep yeah whatever this

whatever this is with uh babies flying planes wait what is that can you put that on real quick can we just end it with this Yep. Yeah, whatever this is, babies fly in planes. Wait, what is that? Can you put that on real quick? Can we just end it with this? Do they actually make them fly in the air? What the fuck? They can't.

That's got to be like a tricycle thing. Yeah, they must just wheel around. They can't actually go into the air. Yeah. Whoa, it's kind of taking off. Isn't this illegal to make a baby fly? They're little tricycle things. They're on pedals, it's fine.

They would get killed by hawks and stuff right like birds would absolutely fuck them up this is very weird what do the kids get out of this they can't actually fly yeah i don't know i'm waiting for a kid to like poke his head too far and just like lose an eye it's like i'm flipping the crowd thumbs up this kid That kid looks so racist, dude. Did you see that kid? Oh, that's a future racist for sure. Oh, yeah. Look at him. He's going to try to fly over to Japan and drop a homemade bomb.

Oh, yeah. That kid's going to hold a trout and shit on our podcast soon. Dude, I still get people tweeting at me just like, sad what your life has become. I'm just like, all right. Like, I make a living doing this. I don't know what's so sad. Working two hours a week. Sad.

Sad. Like, all right. I'm sorry. Whatever I did to you, sir, I'm sorry. Right. Why did you make my dad molest me and make me angry at everyone? Look at the dads of the kids. Look at the dads of these fucking kids.

Just tucked in polos. Look at the dads. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, these are all like... Just a bunch of dudes that are like, I could have been Shane Gillis. Yeah.

Dudes, I feel like if they ate pussy, they would fade into dust like a vampire. If pussy juice touched their mouth, they would explode. Yeah, they'd melt. All right. All right. Oh, the whale. Where are we at in the whale?

He's asleep because he ate a sandwich. Again, it's the greatest film ever made. Yeah. See, look, it's the best acting you've ever seen. He's asleep in a chair. Oh, God. We should do a whale director's commentary, like, episode one day. Yeah, I need to do that somehow.

I don't know. I don't know what we're allowed to do. Well, you just played the whole movie for the public episode. Yeah, hopefully they don't start copywriting. Because that's why I don't do the picture in picture. I just do it. If we did this on Patreon, I think we could get away with it being vaguely on like people could see enough or up there.

Yeah, I think so. I don't know if we can play the audio, though. Maybe we can. I would say not the audio. I would say not the audio. You'd have to play the audio while listening to us talk about it. Right. We could tell people start now and then we're not going to pause.

We're not going to pause it. Yeah. That could maybe work. Right. And then we totally pause it. And then we to pause it. Yeah. That could maybe work. Right. And then we totally pause it. And then we'll pause it a bunch and just talk about, you know, how fat he is. Yeah, birds or whatever the fuck. Yeah. He loves

birds. He loves birds. And this is who you should model your life at. Right. Also, he's trying to catch that bird and eat it. We've talked about that. Yes. No, he thinks that's a game hand. He's also feeding it on a plate. That's a trap. Yep. He's going to catch that bird and eat it. We've talked about that. Yes. No, he thinks that's a game, then. He's also feeding it on a plate. That's a trap.

Yep. He's going to put a big dish on top of it. Throw it right in the oven. To me, this is every guy who has a really popular sub stack. Is the whale. In my head, it's this guy. A guy attached to an oxygen tank. Right.

In a room with no lights. This is if you ever met Aaron Gwinn, your friend. Yeah. His family's just like family's just always visiting him like listen Matt, Taibbi, we don't care about Twitter. We don't care. We get it. They go just get a light bulb. It's corrupt.

We don't care. Get a light bulb. Drink a glass of water. I don't know what to tell you Taibbi. Get some sun. And I love Matt Taibbi, but oh, yeah, it's just funny. I haven't given a fuck about whatever he's reporting on being lambast. I just don't care. Oh, he's like Elon's guy now.

Yeah, he's a little trying to make him like he's right. I don't know. Elon changed his name to Harry Balls on Twitter. Man, what a huge hack. Just a guy that bought fart machines at fucking Spencer's is now running the world. He bought a website to post his bad jokes. Yep. Yeah. Just a human who farted t-shirt.

I will say, though, waking up at 8 a.m. and going to take a shit and opening up Twitter and seeing like 17 people get shot in the face upon opening it has been better than the old Twitter. But why aren't these people killing the people that are annoying? Why aren't people, like, why aren't they doing it to, like, targeted to people that actually this needs to happen to? Well, I'm very confused. I've been very confused by that for a while. Like, it's like, you know, the CIA has obviously been very lazy in the last 20 years. No Mertens.

Nobody dies. Right. Nobody. All these people that are apparently the worst thing for the country. Not an assassination attempt. Nothing. Not a fucking syringe in the foot. No Michael Clayton shit.

You know, there's got to be a Tom Wilkinson guy out there walking home with a bag of baguettes. Nobody's bludgeoning him and killing him anymore. They're just trying to fuck Dylan Mulvaney. Exactly. He's undressing in front of Dylan. The CIA is doing more deeper cons now. Long cons where they're going to like Dylan Mulvaney's house like you're going to become a woman

and we're going to fuck shit up. You're going deep undercover. You ever heard of culture war? have thumbing a big suspender tying a trans person up to a train track like what have we made idiots mad at him alright hopefully the video has been recording much love

and we'll see you on the next episode or maybe over on the Patreon take care everybody bye much love, and we'll see you on the next episode, or maybe over on the Patreon. Who knows? Take care, everybody. All right, bye. Bye. Terima kasih telah menonton! Thank you.