lemonparty - 031: mariokart freeway

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

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🎵 My mic's not on. Oh, is it on? Yeah, I don't think the mic's not on. Yeah, I don't think the mics are on. None of them work. Next. Cringe. You're cringe. You're cringe.

You're cringe. Cringe, cringe, cringe. So they did hear it. It's all out of whack. It sounds like Apollo 13 right now. It's all out of whack, man. It's off out of whack. It sounds like Apollo 13 right now. It's all out of whack, man. It's off its kilter.

Okay, so this has been being weird. Yeah, it's off its axis. It sounds like I'm an airline pilot a little bit. Well, is it okay now? I think it takes a little time to warm up. I think it does. Yeah. Check one, one, two, test.

Check, check. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to united 93 uh flight to new york okay we haven't started yet if it sounds this bad is it sounding better yeah it sounds good now i think it does i think i hear like a mild like yeah in the background a little bit you know you never know what that is god forbid you have technology next to your technology. I think it's fine. Yeah, but I got to get rid of that. What is that? I think it'll go away.

There's frequency. I think that happened last time. Is there something against something right now? Is there a phone anywhere? It might be my widow maker. Hold on. Let me. Yeah.

Devin didn't tell us he got a stamp put in. Sorry, guys. You know, you guys don't really understand my lifestyle outside of the show and it causes a lot of damage on the aorta. I would love if I get 40. We're all like pacemaker guys. We're all incredibly. We're all incredibly fucked up.

We all wheel in here on rascal scooters with colostomy bags. Yeah, we're like Ram Jam. We're on dialysis. Yeah, we're just gearing up for one last shot at glory, brother. Brother man! Well, alright. Do you guys want to start over?

Or is this an episode? No, it's fine. You guys okay guys okay there's gonna be a bunch of comments where people are like i wonder why you know he sucks ass well i've just i've just stopped looking at them yeah it's really if you never look they don't exist yeah you just move right on yeah it's just a man screaming into the grand canyon what it's it's always been because i forgot to turn the headphone thing i forgot to turn the headphone thing. I forgot to turn one of the 40 things I had to turn on. Get your shit together, man. It's like a guy saying that living in a basement surrounded by pythons.

Get your shit together, retard. Being attacked by different reptiles. Man, you're fucking retard. He doesn't even know how to open a door. He can't open a door. His shoulders are higher than his head. He has to start his car like a go-kart. It's got a string he pulls on it.

Yeah, 22 hours till premiere. Don't even let us know about it, retard. No one likes the premiere's dipshit. No one likes the premiere, you fucking retard. I bet you fuck your mom. You're a retard. Anyway, back to huffing paint. I listen to podcasts

and I huff paint. And that's how I pass the time. Underground, where I live. That old-timey prospector retard, that still is a thing. It's just it moved into a different trope of a guy. Yeah, they're mining for content now.

Yes. They're like, there's content in there, shit. God damn it, there's still people saying retard on the internet. And I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna find it.

I tell you. Just holding up a slur with a jeweler's loop and looking at it. Yeah. A pan in the middle of just a fucking web stream. Just being like, he's just one and he goes, okay, we're getting close.

Yeah. Sifting at ones and zeros. Lewis and Clark's hunt for the retard. Why didn't everybody like those guys? Lewis and Clark? Well, didn't they not do shit? Because on their journey, they met a Native American lady, and she goes, oh, you guys are going to die immediately.

I'll show you the way. I don't think that's how it went. I'm doing the drunk history version right now. But they had a team of people. Dude, I love drunk history. Yeah, I think they have. Dude, they were so drunk on that show. Yeah, drunk history was so funny.

Dude, I learned about Eleanor Roosevelt, and I saw Harris Whittles throw up. Dude, the show. Yeah, it's drunk history, but Harris Whittles is shooting heroin. Wyatt Cenac got so drunk, he said shit. Yeah, no, I think they hired Sacagawea to go on the trip. Oh, that is right. Sacagawea.

They, like, employed her. Well, they were like, we need some good pussy for the trip. Oh, that is right. Sacagawea. They like employed her. Well, they were like, we need some good pussy for the road. She was like their Sherpa. Yeah. I guess she got hers because they put her on one of those coins that they sold to old people in infomercials for like a second. So she got her 15 minutes. She got hers.

Yeah. They gave her like a magic bullet with her name on it yeah yeah here's your nutrisystem now we're gonna go slaughter your whole family we're gonna kill you with blankets am i having a stroke or was there a sacagawea dollar yeah it was the it was the gold gold dollar yeah i think you're right yeah back when the u.s was like we'll give you fucking video game money from now on maybe i'll distract you from like the debt ceiling or inflation right yeah they were just throwing out diversions back then having infomercials saying i think around that time too wasn't that when the infomercials all came out saying you got to invest in gold well that that's literally like just like that's like marketing to old people

in like retirement homes yeah those are people that's like it's like if we air it at 5 a.m. between, you know, episodes of like the most racist, between episodes of Matlock, we just have the Buffalo nickel was the whitest nickel ever produced. And there's a guy who just killed a bunch of Japanese people

and then sold insurance. And now he's dying. He's like, I want the white nickel. And then he calls up QVC and they're like, hello. And he's like, can I down went to white nickel and then he calls up qbc and they're like hello and he's like can i can i give you my entire grandchildren's inheritance for your pure white i found an iwo jima and i would like one of your shiny nickels take their inheritance they're in a ratio wild to be an old folks home guy because they just they buy they they get duped all the time

they fall for every scam on it on the internet because their brain looks like a you know after a cue ball has been in a pool hall for too long yeah it's all dented up and scuffed up it's not even round anymore yeah that's their brain and they they just buy like bracelets on tv or they just fuck constantly. They all apparently STD rates in old folks homes are insane. Really? Well, because they all have Alzheimer's. So they're all accidentally raping each other.

It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. It's literally what I've heard. What I've heard. Oh, my God. Is that like there'll just be an old guy just shuffling and he'll like go in the wrong room and it'd be like, it's Arthur, my dead wife. And then she'll be like, Maurice, my husband. And then they'll just fuck the shit. I mean, he'll stuff his limp noodle dick into her gross pussy.

Yeah. And then they'll be like, we both fucked our dead spouses. And then they like leave. And then like later, you know, he's like, why do I have gonorrhea? It's because I raped myself into another woman's pussy. So they're fucking other old people, though, right? Yes. They're not like raping the nurses.

Really sick nurses. There's not like an old guy out there like, I've always wanted myself a buffalo soldier. Just sweat beads off the hair. Come here, Bumba Clat. The young attendants are still getting overpowered. They're still getting overpowered by some

nine-year-old dad. It's like the sisters, but they're 85 years old. It's just like, you're going to check whatever I pull out of these slacks. Unbuttoning pants that start up here. Yeah, yeah. With a zipper that he stole from a tent.

He's like, all right, you're going to check what I pull out of these slacks. Let me get my utility tool I used to get undressed. He's got one of the arm grabbers. So he can kind of roll away and open a zipper. Yeah. He's got to roll his rascal scooter at a high rate of speed to hit the bed so he flies out of it

into her asshole. He reaches in like he's going to pull his cock but he just pulls out balls. He's like, I got this. I got this. My balls got so long at this end

that they pulled my dick back inside my body. He's like, it really helps out that watch trick. What's the watch trick? You go like, did you know the tie? Don't you put your balls over your wrist?

You go, look at the tie. I think that's one with your dick. There's also the I found a baby bird, which there was a guy in our middle school who did that all the time. He'd be walking with his hands. He's like, dude, check it out the i found a baby bird which there was a guy in our middle school who did that all the time he'd like be walking with his hands he's like dude check it out i found a baby bird and then he'd he'd open his hands like you get closer and he'd open his hands it'd just be his cock and his hands like his cock and balls that's great as a guy who loves birds i would fall

for that all the time you'd fall for that over and over and over and over again. Right. You try to identify it still. You're in the Merlin app being like, oh, it's a speckled woodman. I'm trying to feed it. By the way, I have seeds in my hand. Your birds need to... I'm going to call CPS for your birds. I'm glad you guys finally saw my birds today. They're being treated really poorly. They're all overweight.

The toeys especially, california toeis specifically are they're too fat to fly they look like arty lang they legitimately look they look fucked up yeah you were like you were downstairs you're like oh that's charlie and i saw a bird i saw a bird hopping yeah as it's flapping its wings it's like turned into a bullfrog. They look like you're feeding them Alka-Seltzer. They all look like they're on the verge of exploding. They look like they're acting in The Sopranos, these birds. They look like they drive Tony. And then Tony starts a fight with them because he thinks they're stronger. Yeah, the birds look like they're just like,

I don't know, Tony, It's a lot of bird seed You know Times are good Why don't you shut the fuck up You blue breasted fucking prick You just fucking crashed over here Fucking squawking all fucking day You blue breasted speckled out the fuck

You fucking cardinal I hate fucking cardinals Fucking red pieces of shit My daughter's dating a mockingbird I can't stand it Daughter's dating a mockingbird I can't stand it Daughter's dating a crow That's what I call for People have accused me on the internet of

Like animal cruelty For feeding my birds Because they say they can find seeds anywhere right so if you give them seeds they're just overeating and i am witnessing them become incredibly overweight well that you are torturing them leading them to an early death but i still don't find it to be animal abuse yeah because they're birds they're birds yeah yeah they can fly away i saw one get killed the other day i witnessed it good one of my uh i think it was one of the you curb stomped it yeah good did you show it did you show it your tattoo too oh like a master gardener see this it's not fucking welcome

no crows in this backyard. Fucking curb stomping birds. This fucking, I think it was a bush tit. One of those little fuckers. Yeah, yeah. The things that are like, they're really tiny. Yeah, you could just like walk up to them and just. Yeah. Those are like the pennies of birds.

Yes. They're nothing. Yeah, you give them to homeless people, you got hair. I don't know. Yeah, throw them in a tray at 7-Eleven. Throw them in the trash. I throw change away sometimes. You reach in your pocket and you're like,

I got all these fucking bush tits. God. You're like, honey, do we have a... Should I just throw these away? I feel weird throwing them away. You're putting them in a big glass Coke bottle. Yeah. There's a bunch of tiny fucking birds. And they're just dying.

They're suffocating. And then at the end of the year my my bitch wife makes me take them to a coin star yeah and i dump them in and they just turn into fucking a smoothie yeah the coin machine grinding them up or you just take them mcdonald's turn them into chicken nuggets that's true squirt chick-fil-a sauce all over them or some uh epic uh heckin rick and morty sauce yeah some szechuan depending on what kind of retard you are some are you a rick and morty retard are you just a regular kind of retard yeah but uh i i kestrel i figured out what hawk it was because uh i have like this photographic memory now because you have to birds are quick so you have to like like

as you see the bird and then you then you like sit on a stone and you think and you go okay fucking it was brown on the bottom i think there were streaks of yellow and you try to like you know that was drake yep and then you have to go back and you have to like play uh like some you have to be some freak detective and you narrow it down to five birds and it's like guess who and then you have to go back and you have to like play like some, you have to be some freak detective and you narrow it down to five birds and it's like, guess who? And then you, you finally, and then you start listening to the sounds of all the birds and then you start eliminating. It's like picking out a suspect in a jailhouse, except you're just trying to figure out what

birds in your yard. But anyway, it took one of my, took one of my bush tits. It's dead. It ate a hawk. Yeah, a kestrel. Well, that's beautiful. That's the ecosystem. That's everything working perfectly.

It bummed me out. To you, it's beautiful? Why? You have a great conversation with it last week? What are you talking about? How did it bum you out? It's an inanimate object that flies. Right.

Same as a cat. The people that talk, oh, it's the cat in the house? Who cares? It's like a house plant that moves. Yeah, it's like a plastic fern. It's not like, oh, that cat had almost paid off its mortgage. Oh, no. What are you talking about?

That cat, it was having such a great twilight period of its life. It's a cat. You never hear about cats saving anyone's life. No. They wait for you to die, and then they eat you. Yeah. Fuck, really? They're sociopaths.

Cats, I think they've done studies like cats eat you like within the first day if you're dying alone cats are just are cute reptiles and they also they also eat your face like they eat your eyeballs in your tongue and then knowing them they play with it yeah yeah they toy with you yeah you want that yeah do they like live inside live inside you like a Skywalker? They probably do. They probably gut you like Bear Grylls and then live inside of you for warmth. Push all your shit out and then crawl in there. They treat you like a moose in Alaska. Yeah, your two cats have you just strung up.

They're smoking you into the wild. They tie you with that pot roast string. Yeah, what is that, by the way? I don't know why they do that. That yo-yo string. It's for yo-yos and pot roasts. It, what is that, by the way? I don't know why they do that. That yo-yo string. It's for yo-yos and pot roasts. It's been on my mind for quite some time. Yeah, this is you trying to do comedians in cars.

Like, what's with that pot roast string? Jerry! I'm, like, nervous. I'm like, you ever think about the pot roast string? Why'd you go off on that? What a car, by the way. And he's like, right, right. And then you're like, why'd you fuck that girl?

She was a young girl. Why'd you fuck her? Jerry just drives off of a bridge. Yeah, Jerry picks you up in a tank. Yeah. So, I don't know. I mean, your birds, they're fine. Go ahead.

Keep torturing them. My dislike for cats, though, is actually fairly pragmatic. Cats, I just don't like their tongues. It's too scratchy. Dogs have softer tongues like sponges. And I love when dogs lick me on the face and lick my toes. Yeah, I don't like when cats lick me. Cats also have the thing where they're like, if it's a good cat, I like it.

And it's like cool and it'll just like lay on your lap. But then there's like you have a 50-50 shot of getting a cat where they're like, oh, yeah, it just claws my face up if I get near it. And they're like, what if you Google what just claws my face up if I get near it. And they're like, what if you Google what to do about it? It's like, just don't go near the cat anymore. Yeah. Like, that's it. You can't correct it.

Yeah, yeah. You brought a sociopath into your house. Yeah. And he has eight little knives. I like cats that kind of like hurt you a little bit, though. I like when they come up and they kind of like wake you up. Yeah, there's some that'll nip. There's other ones that'll just turn you into a villain in a Bond movie. Women love having

cats because it distracts from them cutting themselves and they just show up and they go, he's so crazy, my cat. He's always scratching me. My cat cut me 45 times down the length of my arm. Yeah. Does your cat like Nirvana too? But how do you guys feel about great

big fat cats? Like a cat that's very overweight. I hate fat animals. I don't respect fat animals. Much like people. So you don't like my toeies? No, I don't like when animals get fat. It goes against like, I'm like, that's just, you're not supposed to look like a product of gluttony.

I don't want like a cat to look like a Walmart, you know, guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a dog. I hate when dogs are overfed by shitty owners. I know. He's my love of my life. Dogs especially

because cats just kind of like, they're blobs. They'll just kind of like roll like a slug. But a dog is like, it gets fat and they're like, he's my big chonky guy. It's like,

dude, his ACLs are blown out. Dude, like you'll see, you'll see like an overweight wiener dog, and it's walking. It's just blowing out of need. It's knee shifts over. You're like, dude, this is like a fucking NFL.

You have to put this down. Yeah, I don't want a dog that looks like a Yankees fan. Your dog looks like Bo Jackson at the end of his career. Your dog looks like it calls marinara sauce Sunday gravy. When dogs get fat, it fucking chokes them. So when a dog is fat, it's just sitting there and it can't breathe. There's a ton of owners that just overfeed their dogs

and they think it's cute and they objectify them and it's like fucked up. The dog wants to run and play free. Well, that's what they also do. They're like, I don't know what happens. You run a jail for him yeah you're fucking up yeah yeah it's not like it's like i can't stop like he keeps making sandwiches yeah here's the thing owning a doll owning an animal first off you're already you're owning it in the kind of a weird sick like objectifying relationship it's an asset it an asset. It's just there to make you feel better.

You feed it. You love it. You pretend it's all knowing and better than everyone else's. And it gives you serotonin, right? It gives you dopamine if you pet it. Petting it calms you down. Everything.

It's all great. But like when you overfeed it and don't care and it becomes all fat and you kind of get off to how cute that is that's like

just that's just fucked up to me cute that is that's like just that's just fucked up to me it's it's it's it's that's like ultimate objectification yeah you're you're a weird feeder guy yeah yeah it's very strange to me you're like one of those you know you'll see it at walmart sometimes where there's a guy who weighs 98 pounds and he's got a wife who's like 500 and you're like you can tell it's almost like it's like a weird fish in and like a a thing that it lives inside of. Like this thing goes out and brings food back. Oh, you mean when a little shark is when a shark has like a fish, a sucker fish on its belly.

At Walmart, you'll see human barnacles, you know? Yeah. And they're like whales that like swim around with them. Right. That's what's kind of great about Emma, our three-legged dog, is she is disabled, but it wasn't my fault because I ran her over with my car. It wasn't your fault. But it wasn't my fault.

She got ran over by my car. It's different. But she wasn't listening. You had to teach her something. That's right. I had to back up over her. You're like misery for dogs. Well, you also, you tell the story like you saw her a hundred feet away.

You're like, yeah, that's a dog. I'm not slowing down. No, it should know better. I'm going to teach it a lesson. No, it flew out in the fucking Texas night. Yeah. There was nothing you could do. You saved her life.

I know. She owes you everything, and that's why she loves you. And that's why I will, later in life, as she deteriorates, I'm just gonna... I haven't looked this up, if it's possible, but I'm gonna see if I can get her a rascal scooter. And then I'm gonna allow her to let herself go and get really fucking fat, and we're gonna walk around Walmart.

That'll be great. I'll get fucking fatty shit, too. I'll get Charlie fat from the whale with my fucking disabled dog, and we'll both ride around in rascal Scooters like it's Mario Kart. You guys go to Walmart, Emma's just pawing Eminem albums into your cart. Call of Duty. Emma's like, oh, a Jeff Dunham DVD.

Throws it in. Putting it in. Emma starts barking because there's no Faygo there. Well, you guys know once she can't walk anymore i don't have the heart to put her down so that means she's just going to become really fat she's going to become a stone you're gonna you're gonna end up getting her the um because her back legs will go out because they get all the stress well her front leg is the one that's missing no i know but so that's more supports but on the back legs i imagine oh you'll give her the little

like the dogs in the in the two wheels in the back yeah and then they'll have that we never had the heart to get shiba that but yeah i don't know i feel i always kind of like it is funny like turning your dog into iron man or something i want to put emma in the suit from alien oh the mech suit the mech suit i want to give her some shit same size you've given her her the power of a god. Yeah. Because she likes to get out and roam all over the neighborhood, despite the coyotes that are hunting her down.

And if I gave her a mech suit, she would just terrorize all of LA County. She'd rob liquor stores. She'd do GTA-style shit if you gave her a mech suit. She'd burn houses down. She'd commit hate crimes. She's a radicalized animal. i've never met a dog in my whole life and i love dogs been around a million of them i've never met a dog like i'm extremely human looks at you almost like there's an understanding of her pain she's like a native american like you like look at her like a single teardrops yeah she's got a mystical almost ancient pain and there's like a samurai

yeah if you like if you litter around her she cries yeah emma if she was a person depending on how she was born she would either be like in the capital on january 6th or she'd be like a black panther yeah yeah yeah she's she's willing to be radicalized by either side and she's so pure she She's so filled with light that now coyotes are sleeping in my backyard and hunting my precious Emma. They do not care about Big Fat Gracie. We gotta do something about these goddamn coyotes,

by the way. I'll hammer them to death. Before you guys got here, remember we were all gonna go to the paintball gun store and buy paintball guns. I know, and it's too far away. Too far. We gotta order them. Order them on guns. I know. And it's too far away. Too far. We got to order them.

Order them on Amazon. I'll put it on the company card. Put it on the company. I don't mind my pay being docked. Yeah. Dock Devin's pay. I think that's a good idea. Dock my pay.

Actually, Jace, it's on me. Okay. I want that really cool magnum looking gun. Yeah. Is this a frightening me pointing the hammer? The revolver one? Yeah, give me that revolver one. There is.

I sent Ben a... There's a... One thing I love about the paintball community is they're like, we do have guns that'll get you shot by the police if you want that. Yeah. It looks like a hand cannon from Death Wish.

But here's what I say. Give me like a black guy's hand that you can shoot paintballs out of. It's a black guy's hand holding a gun. You can hold it in your It only holds sideways. And the cops show up, they're just confused. They're like,

he's being taken hostage by his hand. They're like, some sick black guy sewed his hand onto this good white man. And now the hand's gone. It's like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. I don't get what you're saying. It's like Army of Darkness,

but instead of the chainsaw? Yeah, it's a black guy's hand. It's Army of Darkness, sir. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen. What were you gonna say, Devin? We get paintball guns? We get them.

You gotta get a big rifle one. And then Jason one ah like i want to both have a lever action you get whatever you want or a bolt action i'm sorry we sit out back we record it live stream it for the live streamers and we film it and it's like tony waiting for the bear in in the sopranos we sit out there we smoke cigars we live stream and that we could capture those fucking savages coming down. And we shoot at them on the live stream. That'd be fucking awesome. By the way, if you've ever been on Ben's Twitter, they've been targeting Emma, basically. No, they're like sharks circling my house.

They're following her everywhere she goes. Because she has three legs. Yeah. They found out she has three legs. They already fought Emma, and Emma rolled down the hill and I think fell in the pool like a weird three stooges moment they're treating emma standing over emma she's drowning in the pool when i came out they're treating her like she's a whistleblower and they're the clintons yeah emma did escape from them like like uh no country for old men like she ran into the river yeah had to shoot one of them i think she went in the pool to like

get away from them yeah emma's like been framed for something or she's like a pat yeah she's like the future yeah emma's gonna die falling down at like a stairwell yeah she's gonna they're just gonna fucking push her down emma's jack ruby so we were looking up like it was very funny like i was you you sent me this and i and I have to dog sit this weekend. I'm very worried. I'm going to Texas. I always have a fear that you guys are like, I'm going to dog sit, and I just get there, and the dogs are dead. And now it's my fault.

And then we know you're lying. Right, yeah. I show up, and I've been framed. And the dogs just have their heads cut off. I'm always terrified of that, too, when I house sit. I panic, and I walk. I'm trying to push their heads back together. I'm like, no.

You're okay. You go buy another dog. You chop its left leg off and then color it black. You have to go to some sick Kevorkian type thing doing experiments. But I was like, I wanted Ben to get the paintball gun before because I'm nervous about it. I told him I was just going to stand up here on the second floor

and just like go Charles Whitman mode. Yeah. Just like I'm the UT sniper. No, we need to hire an architect to build a clock tower for us to climb.

Just so we can like really get into character. Yeah, just so I see a little coyote like carrying books to class. And I can be like, well, you're gone. But it's very funny. I was Googling what to do,

and you go to a liberal type site, and it's like, well, you can buy a bunch of stuff that doesn't work and still get mauled. And then there's a couple Kumia type guys where they're like, listen, sometimes a man has to do what he's got to do to protect his family. His family. you buy a double

trigger magnet paintball gun with the with the chrome extension and i know a guy i know a guy in alberta he'll give you a tank that's technically not legal it'll fucking it'll turn a it'll turn a coyote head into mashed potatoes yeah people got that will kill someone it shoots it so well somebody was like i was like deep on a forum and like somebody's like yeah paintball gots the way to go because it doesn't like fuck them up but they know to like go away and you don't do the bb gun you said because it just causes infections in their body it turns them into like the confederate like soldier like they're getting their legs sawed off by another coyote right right because it gets infected like they get gangrene right but some i was deep in a form

and another guy was like you know what you should do is like there's a metal bb metal paintballs you can buy and put in the it's like that's that's just a gun yeah yeah just shoot it with a magnet just treat them like antifa yeah you know what you should do you should put you should get a paintball gun and put bullets in it yeah and then shoot that at people yeah i love the options that that jay said that when he found online for like the the liberal where it's like you could buy coyote piss imagine the low point of your life where you're actually like you're putting your debit card number in to buy coyote piss. Also, just imagine having to wonder about how somebody sees that.

Like, I'm not a deviant. I haven't... Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, officer. I can explain this 80 liter jug of piss. The officer's like, well, you do have a trip to Palm Springs planned. What is the coyote piss for?

Furries have definitely bought it. Oh, but yeah the liberal sites are like what have you tried laying the coyote fuck your wife yeah yeah there's liberals to try and buy star fox's piss i i think though gentlemen we're gonna have to go to andy no route we're gonna have to put like concrete and milkshakes and throw them at the coyotes yeah yeah that's true yeah yeah we're gonna have to do like we're going to have to shoot rock salt out of them and stuff. Andy Ngo's route is like, yeah,

Andy Ngo got hit with cement milkshakes, right? I can't remember. I don't either. Maybe I'm misremembering it. I think you're probably right. I think he got hit with them. He got hit with a milkshake and then he lied

and said it was filled with lead. I had a big rant about that guy. He said there was a bomb in the milkshake. On like hate watch and everyone was like, you're a retard. He fucking, all he did was get attacked. Andy knows fucking awesome. Andy knows the only fucking punk rock dude. You know, listen, I've had my own thoughts about Asians, but Andy knows a good one.

That's like the comments I got. Right. He's a good guy. His name sounds like the I got. Right. He's a good guy. His name sounds like the N-word kind of. You know how we all like Panda Express? Think of Andy No that way. You can accept him, you fucking asshole.

And then Ian Miles Chong just like says it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, well, he's definitely in. No, it's guys that think their only choices in life are Andy No or like Tariq. Tariq the She. Yeah, or like tarik uh or the sheet yeah or like a fucking

who was that guy that grifter sean uh the guy who pretended to be that guy yeah the drake of lies uh sean the guy who's white right yeah sean uh sean white sean taylor sean taylor was killed forget his name who cares his fucking fake lineup he He'd have to tell his barber to just get rid of his widow's peak every week. God, what is his fucking name? Fuck. Sean King. Sean King. Yes, thank you.

God, that guy sucked ass. And he is white, by the way. Yeah, he's a white guy that just gets a lineup. I think they found out he doesn't have... He said he had black parents, and then they found out that wasn't true. Yeah, he found out both his parents are white, and then he said he had like black parents and then like they found out that wasn't true yeah he found out both his parents are white and then he said his mom came to him and said she like when she was 20 she got her shit busted by a black guy like that's why he's black uh wait so he is interracial or no he claims but i don't think i don't think he is yeah and then if

you just look at him you know she's like my yeah my mom fucked herself with a pair of Jordans one time, and that's me. Yeah, when I was conceived, my dad was wearing a jersey. Guys, both my parents are white, but he was wearing like a Michael Jordan's Wizards jersey when it happened. So, I mean, come on, that's pretty black. He's asking logic for an N-word pass. Guys, I don't know. n-word pass uh guys i don't know he might he might be half black half white because it says here he claims he needed a forty thousand dollar guard dog because of his blm advocacy so he is spending a lot of money on fighting dogs yeah

i said half black half white though so he's like right so he started a go fund yeah so he fights like a poodle in a pit bull yeah that is the perfect combo of white versus black. I believe it now. Well, everyone online always... $40,000 dog is nuts. Every conservative says that he's a fake black guy, that he's completely white. But he does have...

He looks a little... Listen, I'm saying a different word. He looks a little nougaty. Nougat. Nougat color. Devin, careful. Nougaty color. You gotta do a vocal warm-up. Nougat. Nougat color. Nougaty color. You gotta do a vocal warm up.

Nougaty. This is like when that guy walked on that rope across the Twin Towers or whatever the fuck it is. It's man on wire for getting cancelled. I'll walk between two slurs and not touch either one of them. I'm only saying the same thing two towers of slurs

he's just walking yeah just balancing just like about to fall everybody's like whoa yeah Chris Rock it's from Chris Rock he said it in Never Scared

he described like a black guy with a type of skin tone that looked nougaty nougaty that's what I'm saying. Nougat. Well, all of his packs and stuff, he just funds like, he just buys show dogs

and he lives in a lakefront New Jersey home. He's like the rest of them. He buys show dogs? What? He bought a $40,000 thoroughbred dog. He's a Christopher Guest character? Through his pack. The dog looks badass. It looks like the dog from...

He bought the dog from Sandlot. That kicks ass. Alright, cool, whatever. Oh, he bought like a bull mastiff or something? What does his mom and dad look like? They look like Warren Buffett and whatever his stupid wife looks like. Yeah, so he's like, he's fully white, I guess? I don't know. His parents look like

deacons of a church. Let me hit the googs real quick. Hit the googs. I don't know. I saw pretty much conservatives saying that he's definitely white and he's lying. And I'm like, yeah, I'll run with that because he's annoying. But is that fully true? I think, as a rule, if you benefited from Black Lives Matter, you're not black. Yeah, you're probably not. I mean, it's just, know i just can't that's his wife billy jean king right

there i'm sorry that's his mom i mean his mother here let me zoom on this for the folks at home okay so that's his mom obviously that woman could never fuck a black guy that woman was obviously a part of the panthers she just like let's photoshop a kangol cap on her well yeah i just want to i want to get to the bottom of this because i can never tell what conservatives if what they're saying is true online because like lately the whole thing is like you know they say like uh there's a diversity higher i mean that's that's joe de rosa right there yeah that's not a black guy that's not a black guy man yeah i don't know he kind of looks he looks like a like a black guy, man. I don't know. He kind of looks... He looks like a black guy that would be in a Spike Lee movie

that's the one that got the white skin tone. I mean, he looks like Dave Chappelle playing a white guy. He doesn't look black. He looks 9-11-y. He does. Yeah, fuck. Is that his mom?

Yeah. Okay, well, what's Pop look like? That's not melatonin. That's fucking ash. His dad better look like Iceberg Slim. Is that his dad? Yeah. That's the mother of Tamir Rice.

Oh, jeez. Devin, come on. Fuck me. Please. Can you look up Sean King Dad real quick? Yeah. We're going to look up Sean King Dad now that we've seen the mom. Hell yeah.

Sean King Dad. It's just Steve Harvey. Okay, this is going to be a real whirlwind here. His first picture was with Cornel West. There you go. That ain't your dad.

That's his dad right there. He hides his dad. He ain't letting anyone see his dad. So he must be paying Google. That's him trying to appear more black. Yeah, he's like,

hey, I don't have a dad. Here we go. We got to go to Vox. is that him in high school i gotta say i would think he's black i would think he's half black at least yeah show me the high school pic real quick okay i'm not a hundred percent on him being white i do think he is. That's, yeah, that's I don't know, man. That's almost like Puerto Rican. Yeah, yeah. Maybe he's just like, I don't know.

If he's from New York, it's like passable because everyone from New York just like can act black if they grew up around like a lot of brick buildings. Like if you're from, like, I mean, you know,

like Andrew Schultz, it's like he has that accent. It's like, yeah, you know, I stand in front of bodegas. I can get away with this. I knew a lot of stoops growing up. Yeah, you know. Okay, so this, Sean King, my real dad is black. A day after the man listed on Sean King's birth certificate as his father was revealed to be white,

the prominent Black Lives Matter activist said the man is not his biological father. Oh, boy. But he also hasn't really been in the news. Like, Sean King's not really breaking anything anymore. No, because he just got canceled for all that shit. He got canceled for all that? Yeah, yeah. Well, I think he made like $10 million during BLM.

He made a lot. Yeah, he made his cash. Good for him. BLM is really just like a real estate group. I mean, sadly, it really is. I mean, hey, I didn't fucking do the i didn't do the research on it they they did it was like the oklahoma land rush where they're just like all right there's there's land out there just go for it yeah yeah yeah just bring your sign right

whoever's the gayest on the plot first during the summer of 2020 you get to keep it it's like the oklahoma sooners That's why they called them Sooners, because they were all trying to rush to a plot of land. Jace, God, you fucking blow my mind every week. Mind epically blown. Epic. Even his wife said

that he confirmed both parents are white. She's like, he's never eating my pussy. His wife's like, he loves Martin. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Who knows? It's one of those things, though. There's no picture of his pop.

I gotta say, based off pictures, if you gun to my head, I'd say he's a little black. He's at least enough where I would feel insane accusing him in public. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I would never say he's definitely not black. I mean, she doesn't look black.

The mom does not look black. No, no. His mom looks... He does look white. His mom looks like Nancy Reagan. Yeah. I mean, that looks like a white kid. Yeah, but it looks like a white kid with a little black in him.

His hair's a little curly. I mean, what does he look like? Now, hold on. Now his wife's black. Yeah, yeah. His wife's definitely black. Yeah. His wife just played Cleopatra. I think we got to the bottom of it. Yeah, I think

ultimately, you know, you do you. You do you, player. Yeah yeah you do you pout you know secure that you remember with that like one year period where secure the bag yeah the all anyone said like the most irrepresence no matter what happened they were like yo he killed those people to secure the bag yeah they were talking about hitler like he got the bag but hitler got the bag though he got that nazi swag. He secured the bag. I hated that phrase so much. I hated it, too.

It was always to defend the objectively worst art. It was all that 2020 bullshit, where it was like the bubble. Even the NBA with the bubble, it was all just like, yo, bubble basketball built different. They getting the bag. Yeah. Is that his dad? I think this... Finally, Twitter has it.

Is that actually his father? Are you kidding me? According to this person on Twitter, I mean, Google has scrubbed this. His dad is the Why Gary Why guy? Because we live in fucking China. That's him. His dad's Gary Pache.

Oh, my God. That's not... Is that his dad? Apparently, yeah. But that's just some His dad's Gary Pache. Oh my God. That's not, is that his dad? Apparently, yeah. But that's just some bullshit on Twitter. I don't know. This is what everybody's saying on Twitter, so it has to be probably true.

But what's the last tweet Sean King did? Because if it's after all this, then that's true. Then it's true. He hid. And that's his dad. And his dad looks like Tom Selleck. I literally

have to block. You blocked him. I have to block. Hold on. Unblock. Unblock. Alright. You're about to be don't No wandering eye, Sean King. You're about to be blocked again. Is he like for DeSantis? Maybe he turned

fully? Oh, no, no. No, oh no no no he's just retweeting on twitter and talks about politics a person who's wasting their fucking life on twitter talking about anything uh yeah politically you know kind of these guys the route they have to go they just start reaching you know he's like the sarah cooper of politics yeah yeah where sarah cooper's like well i can't. My writer got banned from Twitter. She's like, I'll retweet what sandwich is the best. He's just retweeting articles from the Atlantic saying Twitter's a far-right social

network now. I mean, they're just, you know. It's an upside-down dead bird like Twitter's dead and it's red. Yeah, like Olympus has fallen. Twitter has fallen. Yeah, and these guys also tweet like 3,000 times a day. Comrade King, Twitter has fallen. We have lost the jewel crown of existence.

Comrade King. I know, like they're fighting, like they're in the Terminator Salvation movie. God, these people. They're on their phone, just wasting their entire life reading this horse shit from fucking losers. Yeah, I don't like it.

This shit makes me nauseous. He's been tweeting away. He's fine. I guess I must have blocked him too because I haven't seen shit of his pop up. There is like, you know how you can mute words on Twitter? There was a period of time where I could get cancelled just for the words I've muted. If somebody saw

a list of that. There just seems to be quite a theme going on here i blocked his ass again i'm back to the ocean this is where i'm staying in 2023 you see you see the the new little mermaid swimming in the back you get more pissed there's no race in the ocean imagine giving a fuck about like george santos and all this bullshit nobody sees color in the ocean. Yeah. That's right, Devin.

Imagine being a guy getting mad at the Little Mermaid piece of shit movie. I want you to sell me this blue chew pill right here. Sell me this penis. Your dick ain't hard. Here's this. Hey, go ahead real quick. Why don't you fuck me? He's like, I can't.

My dick isn't hard. There you go. Here's your pill. Have this pill. Now fuck me? He's like, I can't. My dick isn't hard. There you go. Here's your pill. Have this pill. Now fuck me in the ass. Sell me this penis. This can be in the ad, right? Sure.

Why not? Okay, cool. Because you know what's awesome? Jace, Avery, and Devin James Costa. What's that? Yeah, what? This episode's sponsored by Blue Chew. Oh, shit.

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All right. There we go. Bye, everybody. Bye. Back to the show we're doing about stuff. God, I love this bottle. Well. God, this kicks ass.

Look at this thing. Oh, the Jameson bottle. It's the most classic bottle of booze ever. That bottle is designed to fall out of your pocket as you're getting into your car to drive away. Yes, this is me. I'm supposed to be talking with my partner at the police force about Avon Barksdale taking over the town. I'm talking about, she took the kids.

It's great. What a great bottle. You just take one swig and then you throw it up in the air and try to shoot at it. And it falls on the window of a car. Yeah. No, it just comes directly back down and hits you in the head and kills you. That is true. And the bull you shot at ends up somehow hitting a black kid eight miles away.

Like a huge rainbow arc. An eight mile long arc. The police have designed bullets to just magically track black people. They're like heat seeking missiles. That'd be funny like a white guy in a three point contest and he just pulls out a gun and starts shooting at the rim.

He shatters the backboard by shooting it. He's like what do you think i could jump yeah they're like for the finals we're giving joke it's a gun he gets a gun five bullets his discretion however he wants to use the gun could like propel him where he like he shoots when he jumps he shoots and then like you can do like he can do like har Harlem Globetrotters shit. Yeah, that's like how he dunks. Yeah.

But just... You know that classic MJ Air Jordan thing where he's dunking from the free throw line? The logo, yeah. Can't every player do that now in the league? Pretty much. Yeah, that's why I thought. There's kids in high school that can do it. There's kids in Memphis on Beale Street they're jumping over all their friends right now

yeah so it's but at the time nobody it was cool then that he did it at the time nobody could do that yeah at the time so no one even tried it before also no one had his charisma and his swagger like no one knew to like bend the midair, then stretch them. It's fucking sexy, and every man on earth will tell you that they secretly... That gets them off. Their Jordan logo. It's amazing. When he entered the league, the greatest player of that time was Larry Bird, who had to put

on a back brace to fuck his wife. Larry Bird was going to Home Depot and asking for back braces before playing in the finals. Larry Bird did a fast break Depot and asking for back braces before playing in the finals. Larry Bird did a fast break like he was John Wayne. Wiggling his hips so he wouldn't shift a vertebrae out of his back. Larry Bird had a horse on the court. He has like a neck brace.

Yeah. And Magic Johnson who did run like your dad trying to kick your ass or something. Magic Johnson incredible basketball player but he shot his jump shot. You watch his jump shot, you go, you're a pussy. There's no way you could actually be considered that great. Yeah, he was like Bob Cousy

out there. It's so lame, his jump shot. He developed a jump shot near the end of his career. It was still not that good. But he's amazing. He's like top five. He's like top five all time. Yeah, he's top ten. He's top ten all time. What's even more impressive he's top 10 all time what's even more impressive about that though is he overcame something even harder than that which was hiv

like he he didn't let hiv kill him yeah i thought you were about to say having a gay son yeah do you guys see that picture of uh fucking well who's john legend's wife chrissy tegan you've seen that demented picture of her on the red carpet? Her face is all... She looks like Magic Johnson's kid. That's great. I love that. She's got big plastic surgery gay face.

It's kind of amazing. I mean, I haven't seen that, but I love Magic Johnson's kid just because he always looks like a gay Mr. Potato Head showing up. Is it this one? And you know Magic Johnson feels like he made him gay by like those couple nights that he had with whoever that he caught AIDS from. Yeah, he's like, this is my

punishment. Yeah. My divine karma. Oh my God. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Holy shit. Well, that's what's great about the new era is that these guys have to have kids that are like trans and shit now so it's like it's it's kind of beautiful to watch them be forced to deal with with you know yeah in the media spotlight with

the with the evolvement of you know whatever that's wild i mean duane wade's like whole family's gay and shit like every video duane wade takes there's like one of his kids in the back like fucking just like injecting himself with hormones or whatever yeah duane wade's like having to proudly now it's like my wife is pegging me now so i'm proudly he's like going on and like arguing with skip bayless about getting pegged by his wife so he's having to argue with steven a smith about having gay sex I thought what his kid did was absolutely deplorable you fucking man in the ass now like that is not alpha

so his kid's trans skip skip skip skip skip that is transphobic you telling me that's a man skip is that what you telling me right now first off I thought his outfit was incredibly drab. He's like gay.

Personally, I thought that was a repeat of early 90s fashion. He's like, who wears fuchsia on the red carpet? It mixes up with the red carpet

in the background. You do not pop. It is funny to be like, all right, all right, I'll give you a million dollars tell me which one of these two people has aids his son his son is dressing like magic johnson did like in that famous picture walking down the hallway

with like jack nicholson and mike tyson and. Oh yeah. His son is dressing like that but like if he was walking into like the fucking like the AIDS finals. The AIDS finals. The AIDS finals. The NBA AIDS finals. NBA AIDS finals. Oh we're such horrible. I'm horrible. Yeah we're horrible.

I'm horrible. I know that that was whatever. I'm sorry. It's a joke. I'm gonna get this photo cause i forgot how fucking sick this was fuck that was so cool what a picture that damn that dude that's us eddie murphy's right there he's like i hope no faggots a touch of my ass yeah and then calling a trans prostitute right after the game wait so that's is this you know eddie murphy fucked prince after this. Oh, for sure. He thought that was Whitney Houston. This almost looks like a painting.

No, this picture always felt fake to me, and I'm pretty sure it's 100% real. So it's Prince, Eddie Murphy, Jack Nicholson, Magic Johnson, Mike Tyson. I don't know who the fuck that bitch is. Madonna. Oh, it's Madonna, and then Michael Jackson. You know those paintings where it's like the Sopranos and the Godfather?

Yeah. This is the version version that for people who like black people this is one of those pictures of all these all the dogs like at the Last Supper yeah yeah well you know how crazy the picture is Michael Jackson's in the fucking back yes God Michael Jackson's more famous than everybody there oh for sure

and he's in the back do you see did you see nicholson at the at the at the conference finals great i don't like everyone shitting on how he looks it looks like a fucking old guy that like gets pussy and smokes cigarettes in the ocean don't people know what he does that is cigarettes underwater that is you're you're very right because that's just a natural hater i'd be like haha he's gay's like he's just, he's getting sucked off by a model that night. Yeah, like what? You're not 87 and getting sucked off.

He's getting pussy if I ever got it. I would blow my brains out at the shock. Like the sheer magnitude of getting that type of pussy. I know. He does look crazy. This makes me miss drinking a lot, because I feel like I would dress like this if I started drinking again. Yeah.

This is just all coke. This is cocaine. Yeah, but he has a little thing that Devin has right there in his hand. But it's full of cocaine. That's liquid cocaine. He has a flask full of cocaine. God, that rules. What a picture, man.

Caesar's Palace. It's us. It's Lemon Party. But why is this picture real why is magic johnson at caesar's palace the front is are they going to a tight they're not going to a tyson fight what fight are they going to me this photo looks fake and it looks gay like fake and gay why is this why first off why are they there what fight is this for because i thought they would be there for a tyson fight but tyson's in the picture oh it seems like this was a this they were promoting teddy

riley versus babyface with a photo in which mike tyson is taller than magic johnson should have told you things would go wrong i don't know what that means i don't know what was the outcome of the fight but yeah i did it's probably this is someone just that touched it up because it probably looked shitty they probably made it that's an incredible photo that's like that's that's like better than like the Iwo Jima like putting the flag down photo yeah way cooler that's the modern version and when you were talking about like the Air Jordan

logo it's like you know like I'm anti whatever I don't I don't believe like that capitalism should rule everything but there are times where I look at the moon at night and I go that would be cool if the Air Jordan logo was on that. It would, yeah. Just do it.

Put the Pepsi logo on there, too. I really, I kind of like, I kind of love corporations that are great. Yeah, make it look like NASCAR. Yeah, put some shit on it. Make it look like Jeff Gordon's jacket. Yeah, we'll put Pepsi on there. We're like, hey, China, I dare you. Fucking go up there.

Exactly. You'd conquer it, bitch. You know they would because they'd be like, there's a black guy on the moon! They invade it. They invade the moon. They think it's like a Uyghur, one of the Muslims. So they have to invade the moon. Yeah, they go to the moon.

They just paint their faces black like Kobe's. Yeah, that's pretty. I mean, he's rough, but... He looks awesome, dude. He looks like one of my birds. Imagine your hair turns into... He really does. That looks like Nacho, my big fat California toey.

He looks like I've been feeding him all day. Your birds do look like they eat chili. Dude, my birds look like this. They look fucked up. They didn't look like that when I first started feeding them. All your birds look like they love biscuits and gravy from Denny's. From the 246 menu.

Oh, his son looks like AJ Soprano. I don't mean to. I'm not bragging. Can you air this business out? No, I can't. I don't have a relationship I'm not bragging. Can you air this business out? No, I can't. I mean, I don't have a relationship with the guy. Ray Nicholson, it was me and him up for this movie that I did that I guess will come out this year at some point. Killers of the Flower Moon.

Killers of the Flower Moon it was. But his kid was the guy I beat out. And his kid, thank God his kid is talentless. Yeah, because he would have totally taken that from you. He would have gotten it immediately. But his kid, they sent me his audition tape. And I was like, man, that is bad. Hell yeah.

Yeah. I mean, he looks like he just came. Like he just got sucked up. His hair is turning into the devil horns. Who's the mommy? Of Ray? Yeah. I don't know fucking probably the the woman the fucking roman polanski raped yeah roman polanski's hot tub

uh nice very good oh yeah i don't i don't know who i who... Nicholson doesn't even know who the fucking kid's mom is. Right. Doesn't it just show up one day? Jack? I also beat out Mick Jagger's child for the role. Really? But thankfully for me, like, Rich, the kids of...

The children of extremely famous people are, like, usually very talentless. So I got it but well that's her right there Ben Rebecca Broussard well no he has six kids so uh hold on maybe maybe it is her oh yeah it's Rebecca Broussard yeah fuck wait is it

so he really didn't want to fuck ladies like the waitress from look at that relaxed pill face nice look at that fucking just just. Nice. Look at that. Fucking just... She can let that cock slide right in her mouth. Just pouring prescription pills into a fucking blender. Yeah, she's like a Vitamix.

Yeah. Her throat's a fucking Vitamix. It's kale and whatever my doctor prescribed. Drinking a martini, but the olives replaced with a big horse tranquilizer. Just a gigantic pill you can barely swallow with a toothpick through it. Nice. The Nicholson family kicks

ass. You know what was so sweet about beating out Ray? What's that? Nicholson. Yeah, what's that, Devin? Was the fact that literally, it was so bizarre when I found out that he was my competition because I was like, I was a child. I was literally a child and I would watch Laker games and my whole family can attestest to this I would scream at any kid courtside because I was

like you don't deserve this like I'd be like nine years old like fuck you you don't deserve it out of the womb you were better I was so angry out of the fucking womb and for like a decade I watched Ray Nicholson next to Jack like get to go to all the games that I wished I could go to and then I fucking beat him for it. Hey, one day, Devin Costa is going to kick your ass, bitch. Yeah, you see that, Ray? What is with that gay Amish outfit they put you in?

What is that? Why did they put him in that? I don't know. What is he, a little chef? Yeah, they want him to grow up to become Chef Boyardee. I think that's like your first confirmation thing where they have to dress you like uh oh yeah they turned you into chef boy rd yeah like a little gay chef interesting you get baptized by a pedophile network the network

yeah i did see something that really made me that. There was a Catholic League Twitter account. They retweeted some E.M. Miles Chong thing about trans legislation. And it was like, we have to protect kids from grooming. It was from the Vote Catholic Twitter. Oh, right. Yeah, we have to protect kids. Yeah, yeah. They're like, save them for us.

Well, do you guys know about that? The Dodgers organization is in hot water because... They had a Pride night. Sisters of Transparent Indulgence, I think they're called. Yeah, it's great. I love it too. I love it too. I love when the kids have to take it.

But apparently there's this drag queen group that the Dodgers hired to come. Well, yeah, they have Pride Night and all these people come. And it's like the Sisters of, I think it's the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Perpetual Indulgence. And they're a gay group where they dress like nuns and priests, but they make it all gay. And a lot of people were upset at that because a lot of Dodgers fans are Catholic families. And we don't want to watch like, you know, drag queens like mock Catholicism or whatever. So there was a big uproar and then they canceled it. And then just like yesterday, the Dodgers

were like, OK, all right, we're we're not hateful. We're letting them in. So we should go to that night. Yeah, it's a pride night at the pride night at the Dodgers. Do you know how many fucking guys, you know how many guys named Edward that have like LA tattooed on their forehead are going to be like screaming at drag queens dressed like nuns? That's going to kick ass. No, the guys in that field and falling down, those types of guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Guys from, guys from, guys from, Mexican guys from movies about white rage will be there. That one guy, that one guy who was the Mexican in every movie for 40 years. The shaved head. The Bruce Almighty guy. He's just coming up.

He's like, yo, I was hired to fuck up gay people tonight. Hopefully Danny Trejo rides a horse into the stadium, leading the return of the king. Yeah, well, I said this on Hey Watch one time, but for Dodger Pride Night, they just don't let Mexicans return of the king. Yeah, well, I said this on Haywatch one time, but for Dodger Pride Night, they just don't let Mexicans go to the game. That's what makes it Pride Night. That's a security check.

It's Dodger Pride. We're going to blow up Chavez Ravine again. That's the thing that allowed white people to get to work faster? Yeah. No, Chavez Ravine is where they built Dodger Stadium, and they blew up. You also told me they blew up a bunch of like mexican people's homes they blew up highland park so

they could put the 110 there which is like a go-kart freeway so all these rich white guys could just like hop in their like model t's just like fly to work that's where i got in a wreck that's where the motorcyclist hit me and i got in a four-year lawsuit with why don't you talk about that a little bit because that was a crazy period of your life. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, I was... I happened to have not have been drinking at work. Yeah. And I was going to see our friend Clay. It was the one day you weren't drinking and driving, weirdly.

Yeah, I know. That's why you hit him. That's why you hit him. Yeah, you didn't have your faculty. You're awesome. I'm sweating. Yeah, yeah. You're like, ah.

I'm like Ray Liotta and fucking Goodfellas. You're like, ah, my pre Liotta and fucking good fellas. You're like, my pregame routine's off. I can't drive. Your brain probably was working at a slower level because you were recovering. You had like an opposite breathalyzer in your car. Yeah. It could only start if you were fucked up.

Yeah. The motorcycle. There's weird gray zones in California for motorcyclists where they can lane split, but no one's really sure if they can do it. But regardless... They can kind of drive like Tron, but not at the same time. Yeah, it's weird line rider shit.

It's complete bullshit, by the way. I'll attest to that. I almost hit a motorcycle as every day. They do this all the time. They fly through your middle lane. You're in like... You'll be in standstill traffic, and a guy will pass you going 80 between the lanes.

Yep. They have no right. I mean, you should be able to hit them. They die constantly. They die all the time. And then the ones that live have all these lawyers set up in California where then they sue the ever-loving fuck

out of the person that happened to be changing lanes slowly as this person's breaking the speed limit. Yep. But lane splitting and it's on you and you got to pay them way past what your insurance paid out. There's like 10 lawyers who love motorcycles. They like drive a motorcycle into the court to sue you. Having a leather jacket over their suit.

So you just didn't see one of these fucks flying by you and you mildly hit him. I was changing lanes and he was speeding and he was passing me on the right hand side, which if you're a motorcyclist, you're not supposed to do that shit. And he went

and he hit my rear view mirror. And I swerved back immediately. And he kept going. But he's one of these. So he never even fell? He's one of these faggots where they get like these like crotch rockets. And they drive really fast, but they don't really know how to ride a motorcycle. So he kept going and he was spooked from coming in contact with my rear view mirror.

And he fell on his own. And he kept going for like maybe seven more seconds and then started, clearly he was shaking up. He started squabbling like. And then he laid it down on the freeway. He started doing the eight year old going too fast on his bike move. Yes.

That gay move. I didn't know this. I thought you actually hit him off his bike. I technically did because then he kept going. Well, he kept going straight and then he got scared. If you had a Tesla, you could have proved this with all those cameras. Unfortunately, I was in my Prius where the car doors were like missing. Unfortunately, he hit something in my car that wasn't missing.

You had to blow up the car because there was a pack of, there was like 400 IPAs in the truck. Your car, it was like the end of Tommy Boy that you were driving around. Yeah. It was a hybrid that was so fucked up it like took gas by the end. It was the Saul Goodman car. Yeah. I never knew the guy fell on his own accord.

Yes. Yes. Yeah. That is such fucking God it makes me angry for you. So I pulled over and all what is it five lanes of the freeway are stopped and it's all my fucking fault and i get out he also wasn't wearing his his gloves right wasn't wearing gloves so totally tore his hands up and just like lost his hands for so long i just watched him just slide across the pavement did they account for that in court or in the settlement or whatever? This motherfucker.

Well, first of all, I get, I like run over to him and I don't know what to do. And I'm just praying that he's, I'm like, please start moving. Please like,

don't be paralyzed. And I have to forever. No. Cause I knew he was alive, but I was like, if you're fucking paralyzed, dude, I don't know what I'm going to do.

There's all these trauma groups that meet up, by the way, for people that accidentally kill motorcyclists even though it's not their fault but you and it haunts them for the rest of their life here's the thing so it's not just you being you know a retard i'm kidding slightly i would have felt no guilt if i looked at him in my rear view and i'm like he's fine he hit my side mirror and now he's still driving fine and then he got all intimidated in his head

and did it and I'd be like I didn't do it dude you were on your bike fine dude by the end of it I wish I would have killed him I hated him by the end of the four years of talking to lawyers and stuff because they were insane weren't they they like never stopped with you they asked I think they initially asked for like like 180 000 or something well yeah

he was and so this is what he said he said he had a backpack and his photography camera he was a fucking silver lake prick with a mclemore haircut uh-huh he claimed his photography business was now ruined because his camera his camera lens cracked in his backpack. You can buy another camera dipshit. Yeah, no shit. What is your dream end with a purchase, retard? He's cosplaying as a, if you live in Silver Lake as a photographer,

that's not a job. That's a hobby. You know what that means? He takes pictures of tree limbs and he thinks he's an artist. Exactly. That's what he does. But he probably does his rich friend's weddings sometimes, so he technically has an LLC or

some bullshit. Sure, exactly. No one makes a living as a photographer in Silver Lake except for maybe Lance Bangs, and I don't know. Maybe there's two other people. Right, whatever. The levels of photography are like you sell stuff in a coffee shop, or you're fucking Richard Deakins,

you know? Yeah. Like you're shooting for the California. And everyone else is just suing me for like 200 grand. So... Jesus. How'd you get that down? What happened?

They got access to my accounts and they saw I had like $2,000 in my savings account. They can get access to your bank accounts? Like you can give that stuff to them to see your pay stubs. And I'm like, I'm making minimum wage at a dog food store. I'm making, at the time,

I think it was $12.50 an hour. And I'm working, you know, 40 hours a week. And, uh, Yeah, it was funny. Like, I have no money.

The guy was like, I'm suing you for everything you're worth, and it's like $4. Yeah. Like, if you won the case, you would just reach into your billfold

and hand him the money. Yeah. They they were like we're taking your crock pot once they saw how much money i had then they then they brought it down to like 25 000 and then they were hoping that i got scared and i'd run to my like they were hoping i had uh rich relatives that i go to and get money from them yeah Yeah, it was just like a shakedown type of thing. And then eventually they brought it down to, I think I ended up having to pay them $2,800. But on top of it, in the agreement, he made me promise that I would write him

a handwritten two-page apology letter. Oh my God. It's like Kobe's accuser. And it's the only way he would take the money I had to. He cucked me. He cucked. And I did it with a pencil on like a, what's that paper?

The yellow paper? The yellow legal pad bullshit paper. Folded it up and gave it to a lawyer. Yeah, half of it was like, you couldn't read it by the time he got it. Rub your balls all over it just fucking fart into it for a week dude I wanted to sign it fucking Daffy Duck

fuck you I what did you ultimately settle for it was like 2800 bucks in that letter he wanted the letter on top of it of me apologizing for what I did to him and by the way when he took his helmet off he was screaming like a bitch on the side of the freeway.

He's going, ah! Ah! And then some other guy leans down because I'm frozen. And I'm like, fuck. He's only moving his head. But then he took the helmet off. He took his helmet off. I'm like, all right.

And then he started moving his legs. I'm like, okay, he's not paralyzed. He kept going, ah! And then he said to the guy, he's like, get it. He goes I'm like okay he's not paralyzed yeah he kept going ah and then he said to the guy he's like get he goes ah get my cell phone

he goes I need to call my girlfriend ah ah and so like he calls his girlfriend he's like baby baby I'm gonna hit my car ah he's like

ah fuck and he was like all torn up on his jeans and shit. And there was blood all over his leg. Give me my cell phone. He pulls it out. He punches the number. And he goes, baby, I'm gay.

I'm gay as hell. Give me your cell phone. I'm a fag. I'm so fucking gay. I'm a gay one. Baby, I got hit! But I... No, I can't!

No, it didn't hit me! I didn't hit the floor after he hit me. I stayed on the bike for about 15 seconds. But then I got nervous in my head! I did it to myself in my head! I slid like a hockey puck across the ground when I wasn't wearing gloves because I'm a fucking

silver leg retard. Fuck. And when he took the helmet off and I saw he had the Macklemore haircut, I like wanted to curb stomp him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, God damn it. But his legs were all covered in blood and stuff and then they came and they put him in a thing. Some scrapes. A couple scrapes. Some knee scrapes.

We've all gotten knee scrapes. And I thought the police because fire trucks showed up police all traffic was held up for probably 30 minutes and everyone is fucking like trying to figure out Yeah. Like because you just see that like Braveheart row

of cars that are just waiting. Yeah. Oh yeah. They all want to fucking kill you. I was probably in that traffic jam pissed off and then I get up and I go god I finally get there I'm like god damn it Ben did you not drink today fuck

this always happens when you sober drive dude the cops didn't even look me in the eye to see if I was drunk or not they were just like which one of you guys hit him and they all pointed at me cause four people had got out of their car and then they just came over and they go okay see if I was drunk or not. They were just like, which one of you guys hit him? And they all pointed at me. Because four people had got out of their car.

And then they just came over. And they go, OK. He just looked at a clipboard. I remember I was really fucked up over it. Because I thought I killed. I didn't know if he was going to die. I didn't know if he might have a thing. Or he can't walk anymore. You're nervous.

I'm so nervous. And also, I couldn't believe I wasn't... It was like a huge wake-up call because I wasn't drinking and driving for the first time in, I don't know, seven or eight years. Luckily, I wasn't drinking at work. I wasn't going from a party to a bar or something like that. I was leaving from work and i was gonna go get fucked up in a park with clay we were gonna get four uh two 40 ounce like oes and go drink in a park and throw up on each other did you tell anybody that like you hit him

but then he stayed upright and then fell like 15 seconds later did you even have that in you no yeah i told the lawyer i told the cop and I told the cop, and he admitted the speeding. He told the fire. I go, you guys saw he told the firefighters because they asked him how fast he was going. He told them he was breaking the speed limit. Oh, that's good of him. But it doesn't matter. The cop just kept clicking the pin

and just being fat with a big clipboard on his punch. Here's the real question. Yeah. Did you still get fucked up at the park? No, I went home. Oh, no. i i think i got in a fight with katie because i was really stressed so i'm probably just screamed stress yelling like being a fucking asshole yeah and then i walked i think i walked to a convenience store because i didn't want to drive that's kind of when my fear of driving started happening i

walked to a convenience store and i got like bags of 40s i was was just drinking one, walking under the overpass on the way home. You were still consoling yourself, but you're still doing like Edward 40 hands, but just alone by yourself. It's like your Don Draper moments. You still pull out duct tape and you're taping. He's like, what have I become? No, imagine Willie Loman comes home from work. He opens his suitcase and pulls out a beer bong yeah

and he's like can you hold this for me bro but you're still you're playing like Johnny Cash the American recordings you're like when the man comes around and you're just like and then just like fucking duct taping huge 40 ounces to my hands just crying

you're like don't talk to me right now I need to be alone Edward 40 hands alone getting too fucked up and to my hands. Just crying. You're like, don't talk to me right now. I need to be alone. I need to be alone. Edward Forty Hands Alone. Getting too fucked up and having to piss with just holding your cock with the bottles because you can't get them off

so you're just squishing your dick between two glass jars. Oh, God. That's so stressful to even hear about. And Ben, I mean, it did like wreck

the like next, like it was a huge weight. Yeah, it was a huge weight. I got sober three months later. Yeah. It was a huge, it was a huge thing for me because I thought, I was like, fuck, if I was fucked up, that's my life.

It's my whole everything. Especially like if I was fucked up and that guy died, that's like federal, that's, it's federal prison, right? Yeah, that would be basically like manslaughter. Yeah uh because we we knew someone that was drunk what if you weren't drunk and he died i mean maybe maybe involuntary or something i don't know it's still this guy's fault i see myself like going down a route where i drink i'm just i never stop drinking and i just i push everyone away. I destroy my life.

We'd be doing this podcast through a phone while you're in prison. I don't know, buddy. You're still producing it? I'm still producing it from... You're producing it prison style with a paper clip and a string. I just want you to know personally, there was never anything you could have done to push me away. Wow, thank you to know personally, there was never anything you could have done to push me away. Wow, thank you. Just personally.

I could see you having that moment with me in Good Will Hunting, where you're telling me it's not my fault. Yeah. I'm crying. Because it wasn't, and I didn't see it. So I'm like, well, I'm with my friend, and I'm going to go with not seeing it. Right. He's fine. He didn't do anything.

And I would have showed up at your fucking, I would have been recording the podcast through a fucking through glass with you thank you brother i would have showed up brother wish i could have been there brother brother i wish i could have been there wish you were there brother this ultimately turns into like wish you were in prison brother yeah just showing up to visit you and you've got like you've had to join the arian brotherhood you're all tatted up to your fucking neck. You're like, dude, did you have to become a Nazi? I'm like, what? I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I had to. Oh, yeah. Dude, I totally had to. These tattoos, I just got them. I haven't had these for years. The guard leans in. He goes, he's literally the only neo-Nazi in the prison. You get to prison.

You're like, all right, where's my brothers at? And they're like, this is, we don't do that here. That's just like a thing in movies. You're trying to start an Aryan Brotherhood like it's a union at a Starbucks. You're talking to guys, you're like, sure, it'd be nice if me and a couple of like-minded individuals started a kind of a club, if you will. And they're like, dude, that's disgusting. I'm fucking getting out of here in five you will know dude that's disgusting i'm fucking getting out of here in five years dude that's disgusting just guys going get your fucking life together yeah dude

what the hell we're all in here for tax evasion what are you doing just a guy immediately giving himself swastikas like the moment preemptively because he thinks he has to survive prison on the bus on the way to the jail yeah the guy that goes to prison to guilt to get the swastika tattoos guilt-free yeah yeah exactly man what a crazy time yeah it was you were dealing with that for so fucking long yeah fuck dude yeah it fucked me up fuck but I'm also like a pussy and stuff like that can fuck me up. What did you do? You didn't act like a pussy.

I would have been just as stressed as you if somebody sent me like, you owe me $180,000. Yeah, well, I mean like, I don't know. I'm just like a sensitive weirdo. I can get weird about stuff where I'm like. You're just describing human emotions. Yeah, you were a human being. It's to an unhealthy level

where you're that guy in high school who a girl broke up with you three years ago and you're still fucked up really bad over it every night. Are you saying this because you withheld information that would have helped you in the case? From what? Wait, what?

Are you saying that you're a huge pussy? I didn't do a Jimmy McGill thing. It was a normal case. I know, but I'm saying are you saying that you're i didn't do like a jimmy mcgill no but i'm saying it was a normal case i know but i'm saying do you feel like you're a pussy because there was a couple things you could have like said that like would have helped you but you would have looked like a bad guy for if you're like he was speeding he was changing no no i totally said that because once they once they hit me with a bill for like 250 000 or whatever it was i I immediately was like, he was speeding.

And all my police reports said this. So I didn't say anything. Well, you ultimately actually got out of it pretty fine. Yeah, you can get out of any lawsuit, it turns out, if you just don't have money. Yeah. Yeah, truly. But what they can do is garnish your wages, which luckily that didn't happen. They did give you one of the lawyers the black kids get in the wire, basically.

Yeah. Yeah. You got the public DA guy. Yeah. I got the guy getting the coffee from the vending machine with the quarters. You got the guy with the mustard stains on his shirt who has a Corolla. Yeah. A suit he got from his dad that's way too big for him.

Yeah. He's got shoes. He looks like a kid wearing his dad's suit while his parents are out of town he looks like a maitre d yeah he's flopping around size 12 fucking yeah wing step insoles so that yeah whatever my cousin vinny got you out of it yeah yeah and and the day was saved damn that that that you know that story stressed me out for years well it took like four years to solve. Yeah, it was crazy. It was like every year of your life.

I was like, what's going on with that case? I kept having big meetings and conference rooms and stuff. And I kept, I would like stand up. I had this like, I'm mad as hell. I'm not going to take it anymore. Moments where I'm like, I don't have any money. Nothing is changing. He can stretch this out as long as he wants.

I'm a loser. I will never make money. I make money right right i work at a dog food store yeah when i hit him now i drive uber the lawsuit affected how you think of your future you're like i can't you're like i can't make money for at least the next five years you're telling everybody like, I plan on being a huge loser. Go away. At 27, I'm killing myself. I've already made this agreement a long time ago. I remember driving with you to an open mic like a month or two after it happened. And I think you're like, yeah, I don't know.

It wasn't really my fault, honestly. He was speeding and he hit my side mirror. But we'll see what happens. Then you pull an IPA out. While you're driving, probably, I think we were going to the Ice House Openlight. It's like a magician where I pull a beer and it keeps coming. It was amazing. It's like 100 ounces.

It was like a never-ending flag or something you had. You've taped two tall boys together and cut the holes out of the bottom and the top to create a super tall boy. Now I remember for four years you'd be really stressed about it. I'm like, don't worry, it'll work itself out. And then I'd be like, eww. Really, you think that? I thought the same way. Ben would tell me about it.

I'd be like, boy, man, no, you'll be fine. And I'd go home and be like, he's fucked. Yeah, it's literally the same like i really didn't know how you were gonna get out of that that that weird thing that followed me because i started hating driving after that i was scared all the time in the car and like now it's to the point where i every time i get in a car it's like the first time i got on a plane where i just i think i'm gonna die every three seconds i get that yeah well there's a lot of stress with being in a car accident. But you weren't even in a typical car accident.

The guy was a fucking retard. Yeah, he was a dick. He was your side mirror. He was an L.A. dick shit. He was a fucking moron. He's a guy ruining your neighborhood. He was a girl's character. Yes, Adam Driver.

He was one of those guys. It was motorcycle phase. Yeah, getting a motorcycle like 37 yeah to impress his girlfriend who's probably 17 exactly you know those guys have motorcycles for like literally four months and then they lay it down with something like that and then they never ride motorcycles yeah here's the thing is if you drive a motorcycle you will die on the motorcycle yeah like when you're getting your license they're like by the way just to let you know your head will turn into sushi at some point.

They say it's like, it's literally, guys practice their lay downs because they know they're going to get a rat. You know the phrase is, it's not how you lay it down, it's when. Or it's not when you lay it down,

it's how or something. How, yeah. It sounds more proper. Meaning that if you drive a motorcycle, there's a hundred percent chance you will lay down your motorcycle at some point. If you drive a motorcycle,

you should have to legally change your name to organ donor. You should be called organ donor number 18. You should be forced to carry like an igloo with ice around with you so they can just like just rip them out and dump them in. Every person

that drives a motorcycle is just the reason for somebody that has like needs a kidney replacement. That person is like like why do I crave fries all of a sudden I would like to clarify the difference between city drivers and then touring bike guys who just like go

up like a freeway in the middle of nowhere like they go like to Canada no you were on a massive highway of people going 65 70 miles per hour. You call it the Mario Kart Speedway. It's Mario Kart, guys. Yeah, it's Rainbow Road. It was a highway designed in the 1910s,

so it was designed for Model Ts. And then you just have to drive next to an 18-wheeler down. Exactly. I took it today. It's horrifying. It's a horrific freeway. For people that aren't aware of this freeway we're talking about, it's called the 110. It goes through Pasadena. It's two fucking lanes, and to get on it, you talking about, it's called the 110. It goes through Pasadena. It's two fucking lanes. And to get on it, you have to, it's a stop sign.

Yes. It's a stop sign. To get on it and to get off it. And to get off it. But to get on it, you have to keep looking and there's cars flying 70 miles per hour by you. And you have to go, I think he's far away enough. And you hit it. But they're also coming around

bends so it's insane the amount of times you're at the stop so you're like okay i'm good and then you realize you're way not good yeah someone slams so you're in like your 07 corolla and you just have to like and like the car's shaking and like it's like you're taking off from earth you see your car go, fuck, dude. Fuck. Fuck. I'm trying. Afterwards, your car's like, I have three more of these left in me in my life. Your car's vomiting. I hate that freeway. Yeah, it's a terrible freeway.

Oh, man. That sucks, dude. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Thank you, Devin. You care about me more than I do, and I appreciate that. Well, you were hanging out with me for years on end and you kept, I was like, it's not over yet? I was like, what the fuck? I was like, what'd you do? I didn't know you guys both thought

I was like a goner. Oh yeah, I had many conversations where I'm like, well, Ben's going to jail so we're gonna have to figure out what happens to his wife. I was pretty afraid of it. Yeah, I think I texted Jace a few times personally about it and we were just both like, yeah, it's in God's hands.

That's a good... Dude, it was literally... We thought you were such a goner, we became Catholic about it. We're like, well, you know, may he go and go. We were making one of those bike memorials for your life. Yeah. We were gonna set up a bike

and Mexican candles on the side of the highway, but just for your potential goner from your entire life. It was scary. Yeah, I bike and Mexican candles on the side of the highway, but just for your potential gone from your entire life. It was scary. Yeah, I started looking up things on the internet where I go, oh, they can just garnish your wages in perpetuity until you pay off the $250,000 in damages. And I was like, that's... And in my head, I go, that's going to take me like 47 years to pay off. I was like, so I make $12,000 a year now. I'm like, yeah, I'll never pay off.

Who was your lawyer? Who'd you get as your lawyer? They assigned me a guy through my insurance. Oh, you just took a guy? Through my insurance. Yeah, they provide you one. They gave you Chris Paul? They just threw USAA.

They gave me a guy. Okay. But the thing takes so long guy and then but the thing took takes so long and then people also come and go that you keep getting traded off to a new guy

right and then he's like tell me about your situation exactly you're constantly just catching up lawyers you don't give a fuck yeah you have to meet him

and be like you're representing me he's like oh okay well let me check this file of people's lives that are going about to get ruined yeah

I have a dossier of people whose lives have been ruined and i don't know any of their names yeah they're just they're just names on a piece of paper yeah yeah he's like all right well it's nice to meet you demarcus all right that's not that's not me you go i'm ben and they go right demarcus right right so you're demarcus now listen the woman the woman was just, she had her groceries on her. You know, you could have just give her a chance. What's so funny about Better Call Saul is like, or Breaking Bad, if you've only seen that, is Jimmy McGill's actually a great lawyer

because he gives a shit. He does, he cares. Like, people are like, oh, he's a bad lawyer because he's like a huckster and stuff. Lawyers I've met do not get... There's no Charles McGill. There's no Kim Wexler. There's no Jimmy McGill.

They don't exist. If you go up to a Jimmy McGill and you lay out your whole issue, he would take it off of his humanity. Yeah. They actually care about their clients in the show, which I don't think that's a... Pro bono shit. Kim, there's always a theme of like, I finally got to work on my pro bono cases. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think that exists, though. I'm pretty sure it doesn't. Unfortunately, at the same time, they're trying to get other lawyers to kill themselves. They're scamming them beyond belief, doing tricks. There's like 10 of those guys in real life, but it's almost like they're saints because they're like, well, I make $50,000 year you know i could be making five million right but and i wanted to help out people who you know might stab me in court one day and the greatest lawyers in the world don't they just work for pipeline companies and like uh like actual like criminals and stuff

yeah yeah they just like the greatest like like Alan Dershowitz is just arguing what pedophilia is at Harvard. That's literally it. Yeah, yeah. He's redefining the definition of pedophilia in the dictionary. There's so many Zoom interviews Alan Dershowitz gets on

where he's like, well, you have to understand pederast comes from the Greek word, which means to grow. Yeah, he's getting into the Latin roots of fucking kids. And he's only interested in it because he knows he's the final clue. Yeah, he's getting into the Latin roots of fucking kids. And he's only interested in it because he knows he's the final clue. Yeah.

Yes, for sure. It's the only reason he's fighting it so hard. He's the last little jigsaw piece. Yeah, he's the last piece to the puzzle. Yeah, may he burn in hell. Yeah, fuck him. You guys ready to go get dinner? Yeah, I think so.

Where you want to go? Let's talk about it. Well, I just discovered this the other day. I told Jason on this little secret, there is a Chili's close by, which I didn't know. It's right by the California Pizza Kitchen. What? Where?

It's right if you just keep- What is it, a person's house? I've never seen Chili's there. If you keep going past the California Pizza Kitchen, there's homeless guys you know uh ripping their own cocks off and throwing them in the trash and a guy skateboarding on a giant turd like part simpson down the sidewalk there's a coyote there's a coyote gangster in a zoot suit flipping a quarter it is a lawless area that was a crazy place where like i've seen like breaking

bad characters swerving like cutting me off on Ventura where I'm just like jeez I don't know what's going on. You back off. I honked at another

person one time. I was honking at like just a white family but a cholo thought I was honking at him and he pulled up next and he rolled his window down

and I had to have like a big standoff with him for like 10 minutes. I was like it was one of those where it got to the point where he was like, all right, homie,

it's about respect. You got to show respect to get respect. And I was like, you're right. Yeah. I don't know. Like my voice is cracking. I'm like,

I was once again, I was honking at the Subaru. A guy pulls up to you and he rolls his window down. It's a coyote driving. I'm into Chili's. I haven't been to a chili's since my surgery. We don't have to go.

They do serve you ice cream there the way they do in hospitals where you're in the icy for people that are dying. Chili's is one of those places where if you get a salad all the lettuce is glazed. Yeah, they've coated each one. It's is one of those places where if you get a salad, all the like lettuce is like glazed. Yeah, they've coated each one. It's all coated in sugar somehow

so you like love it that much more. And fuck, since I've been watching Better Call, since I finished Better Call Saul, which is like better than Breaking Bad and people are gonna be pissed

about me saying that. But Breaking Bad's amazing. But I really want Cinnabon too so maybe we'll hit a, maybe we'll eat some Cinnabon. Yeah. I won't. And then the patron will just be us going, ugh, fuck.

It's us going like, okay, come on, come on. All right, Michael Jackson is gay. We're like, fuck. And then you throw up in a bucket because you just ate chilies and Cinnabon. Yeah, I'm puking in the chum bucket from Jaws. I'm puking in a bucket and a guy's picking it up and then feeding it as chum to sharks. Yeah, where they're feeding it to the coyotes outside.

Well, this is the Patreon. We'll see. We never know, but yeah, we'll see. We did drop a lot of gay slurs on this one, so we'll see. Who cares? This one felt fine to me, honestly. What are we talking about it's fine patreon.com slash lemon party uh for something like 30 plus premium episodes now

uh devin has a podcast where he uh fires guns off and yes freestyle rap podcast and uh jace is at sad drawings by jace and uh hopefully hopefully uh we protect the dogs in the coming weeks as the coyotes have literally made a den in my backyard and are circling the house at any given moment so who knows this might be airing after an rip emma post and emma's sleeping under the coffee table right now and she's happy as a clam oh you beautiful baby you all right we're going to get some chicken crispers and bring them back for Emma because these might be her last days on earth. We never know.

God bless you all. God bless everybody. Watch the live streams every Wednesday. It's 4pm Pacific Standard Time. Tomorrow. They won't see it by tomorrow, but yeah. Wednesday. Gå in på www.sdimedia.com Thank you.