lemonparty - 036: Ghetto Deer Hunting

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty sponsors: Listen to the Randy Savagery Show: https://www.youtube.com/@RandySavageryComedyPodcast/ and support them on patreon: https://patreon.com/user?u=54387314&utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan&utm_content=join_link Listen to the new single by professional rock n roll band Spooky Mansion. A professional band that gets paid money to play rock n roll professionally across the united states. Catch them at UMS Festival in Denver July 29th and in San Francisco at the Independent August 31st https://www.instagram.com/spooky_mansion/?hl=en https://www.bluechew.com promo code lemon ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 #lemonparty #lemonpartypodcast #benavery #jaceavery #devancosta Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Okay, everybody comfortable? Yay. Yes. All right, let's roll. Yeah. Woo. Look at that.

Never gets old. Look at that. Never gets old. Look at that jaded soy face. Look at my gummy bear shirt. And his gummy bear shirt. Gummy bear. Ben's the only guy who shops in the autistic section of the golf store.

Yeah, they just gave you that for free. Like getting shoes from the VA. Yeah. It's like when the retarded person's at like a derby or something. They just put a flag on them. Yeah. Check one, two. Let people know.

It is a make aish kind of collared shirt it looks like you work at the children's hospital or something like you blow up balloons for dying kids yeah i welcome them in when they land on the helicopter yeah come on you know one time i was i was uh right next to the children's hospital where the helicopter lands and there were these tourists there and they were like look look at the helicopter yay and i was like i i literally ruined i was like debbie downer i was like yeah that means there's a dying kid on that yeah they're cheering and there's a kid whose head looks like a bread bowl inside they go we thought they were shooting the fast and the furious seven yeah we thought

they were shooting die hard with a vengeance isn't that about family and loyalty right no they're like if that kid survives he'll be a Fast and Furious fan. But because half of his brain has been removed. Whoa, is there someone really famous in that helicopter? Is that Tom Cruise? No, that's just a kid who was very friendly with a pit bull. And it just tore his entire face off. Yeah.

Hearing those stories, by the way, fucking freaking me out. My mom dropped that on me all of a sudden. She goes, oh, by the way, you know somebody, they had a dog for seven years and all of a sudden it attacked their... I told you that.

That lady... No, this is a totally separate one. What's with the seven-year-old dogs? They hit seven, these pit bulls. They turned into Ted Bundy. It wasn't a pit bull. It just was a dog. Oh, this is a totally separate one. What is with the seven-year-old dogs? They hit seven, these pit bulls. They turned into Ted Bundy. It wasn't a pit bull. It just was a dog. Oh, just a dog?

It was just like dog. That's the thing. It's like Anton Chigurh where he didn't have any description in the book. When they just go, no, he's just like a normal dog. It could have been you. It could have been me. It could have been any dog on the block. All of a sudden, it just turns.

It was a chihuahua. Yeah, exactly. They they were just huge pussies it just nibbled on them all night it was a preemie baby it was spanking the ass of a wiener dog and the wiener dog ripped its head off yeah pitbulls can be terrifying that's why all the women uh in la own one because you can't open carry yeah pitbull is a lesbian open carry yeah yeah and they fuck one because you can't open carry. Yeah, Pitbull is a lesbian open carry. Yeah, and they fuck them too. You can tell they all fuck them. They at least jerk them off. They jerk them off.

Like suck them a little bit. Well, that's Roger. He keeps me from getting raped, and then I suck him off every night. So right now we can make a decision. Do you guys want me to show you the girl that went viral for having sex with a Pitbull outside of a church two weeks ago or

do you want me to not show that to you and just describe this is a choose your own shitty adventure right now I it's like bandersnatch yeah it's like I choose that and then it's like you flip 70 pages like the podcast went really downhill and the patreon drops

four grand yeah ends with us door dashing grimimace shakes. I'd like to see that. Show me the girl who fucked a dog. Kidding me? I live for this. Now, this was a white woman you're talking about? Oh, yeah. Is she fucked a pipple?

Yeah, outside of a church. Here, let me... I hope I can find this one. Outside of a church? Was she flipping off the church the whole time, too? Let me, I hope I can find this one. Outside of a church. What was that? Was she flipping off the church the whole time too? Was she listening to DMX? I think she claimed it's...

Oh, wait, it is a black girl? No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. I don't know who that is. I was about to say. No, that's... The first time in history. She's with a guy named Pitbull.

And there's literally just porn. That is more porn. God damn it. We made it three minutes into the podcast. Twitter's just porn now. Yeah. Good lord. Oh, wait, wait, go up.

Is that Chihuahua, a Muslim Chihuahua? Yeah, it's awesome. It's a one percenter. That's Dr. Umar's dog. Okay, let me see. The dog's asking women how much they weigh when they call in. The dog's like, drink more water. Church dog sex girl returns. The dog's asking women how much they weigh when they call in. The dog's like, drink more water.

Church dog sex girl returns. Yeah. Did she apologize playing a ukulele? Oh, found her. This is her. Because I don't know if she deleted. Oh, fuck. Hold on.

I'm going to get better at this PC shit. Hold on. Okay, here we go. Friends used to download LimeWire porn of like women getting fucked by dogs and stuff back in the day. Jesus. It was gross. Really disgusting stuff.

Did they get stuck on the dick like I've always heard? Because a dog's dick has like a fist in the middle of it. Yeah, I don't remember that well, but I remember one just fucking the shit

out of this lady in like a barn. Like doggy. It was honestly like the dog was fucking her better than like I've ever seen a man in porn. Like it was really impressive. You wanted the fist bump?

I was like yo give it here Pam. Dog's wearing a do-rag. Fucking the shit out of her. She goes the most annoying thing about getting out of jail is seeing how people are so judgmental. Yes I did it in a church but some of you don't even go to church. Some of you are judging me but God didn't judge me.

At the end of the day, I'm thick, cute, and very smart. And then she's flipping off the camera right there. There's probably a shit in the toilet. That she's about to shove up her pussy. Well, she didn't mention she fucked the dog. Somebody quote tweeted that and said, by the way, she fucked the dog. That's why she was in jail. I think I saw this lady and somebody tweeted her, you should get an OnlyFans.

And she's like, I can't fuck dogs on OnlyFans. She's like, unfortunately, we don't live in a free society. Yeah. She's like, weirdly, like a freak. She's like the catch me outside girl, but she's strictly only into fucking dogs. Interesting. Yeah. I wonder if she actually deleted her account. I mean, she probably killed herself. She'll be a rap

superstar soon. She'll be dancing with Ice Spice. She'll be Bad Poppy. Spelled with two P's. Or four P's, I guess. I feel like Twitter used to be easier to search things on Twitter. I feel like that feature sucks ass now.

It's a terrible place. I think Google's better at searching. It's a terrible place. I'm on it all the time. Yeah, Elon's just an asshole. By the way, we've taken the search function, we've replaced it with pornography. Every day Elon's just like,

what if we made a mug with FBI on it, but it meant female body inspector? Right, folks? And all these losers under it are like, great, love your tweets, Elon. You would have totally kicked Zuckerberg's ass. Thanks for this. We need a sketch show from you, Elon. I think it's actually

badass that your mom said you couldn't fight Zuckerberg. Did you see that, by the way? Yeah, did his mom said don't do that? Zuckerberg challenged him to a fight. I saw Zuckerberg challenged him, and Elon's like, name the time and place I'm like okay So that's not happening

Because Elon declared that it would Right And then he said that his mom Was like you can't I'm not allowing this to happen And then like Ian Miles Chong People were like

Badass to have a tight mom like that Ugh God I wish it happened And we could million dollar baby him Just throw it Quick Get the stools

Yeah trying to get a robot to eat his tongue for him that's the so this is the handsome oh what a good pop that's a handsome young lad i love that you can tell the dog has been getting calmed a lot yeah he's got like that sly look to oh yeah he's like oh you know you know it. She honestly would. Honestly would. She's like, what? What'd I do? She looks like the...

She looks like... Did you see the HBO thing? But the girl... Reality. She looks like the reality. Oh, reality. She looks like that girl, Sidney Sweeney, but without makeup.

Right. Our huge tip. What was her name? Reality Bites? Or like Reality Jones? Reality Winner. What a bull fucking... We live in such a weird world.

Her name was Reality Winner? Yeah. She gave away like coordinates to like bomb sites or something? Yeah. Famous whistleblower, Vanderpump Rules. Honestly, it would.

We've arrested Keeping Up With The Kardashians for high treason against the state. Yeah, but at least she got played by a big-titted lady on HBO. Yeah, that's cool. That was cool. Would.

That dog is like a stud. I know. That's a cool dog that you see on Reddit, and everyone's like, what a good chap. Found this little doggo on the train tracks last night, and I fucked it. Heckin' good, Pupparino. Look at its dick fucked it. Heckin' good, Pupparino. Look at its dickerini.

Heckin' good, Pupparino. I love to make it cummerini. Let's have an upvote party. Hell, I'd fuck the dog. Oh, they fuck that dog, too. Sheriff, they fuck the dog. Well, if it ain't a gang gangbang it'll do to the gangbang is there

alright we can't just do this again it is fun to do though it's so fun literally before this I made you guys watch the behind the scenes of the making of No Country for Old Men

just because we love the movie so much yeah even sadder you and me watched the whole making of No Country for Old Men and then Devin walked in and we rewound it

and watched the whole thing we gotta watch this Devin coming over here we were grinding for Old Men and then Devin walked in and we rewound it and watched the whole thing. We gotta watch this, Devin. Coming over here. We were winding like 25 minutes. We go, Devin, you know how there's five things we like anymore? This is another one. It's a constant cycle of the same five things.

It's great, though. We spend 90% of our time talking about things we hate and then we're like, let's pick one of the five things we don't hate and talk about how it rules let's all watch a movie we could word for word write down the screenplay up like if if it was lost tomorrow we'd be like no no we we got it we know every line every scene yeah it's good we can make it again but us talking about is just like the chris farley show sketch where we're just like you remember when he he bolt actions the doorknob and you're like yeah i'm like that's fucking sick remember that was great anyway what's some fag comic doing at an open mic that we hate dude we do suck because devon walked in we're like dude

you gotta see how the coen brothers figured out how to put the handcuffs on the guy's neck and then they're like so what we did is we put a thing in front of his neck and so it wasn't actually choking him and we just like turned it down we're like pretty cool right right yeah i think i did turn it down i go because if they choked him he would die so they had to and it hurts his wrist it would they couldn't actually choke him to death for the movie but so they use makeup yeah ben, Ben was like, his wrist could have broke. How'd they do it? It's a multi-million dollar movie. It's like CGI or something?

What the hell? Yeah. We did have a minute conversation about it. He's like, dude, so that was Javier Bardem's real hair? I was like, yeah, they gave him a haircut. He's like, dude, that fucking... It's crazy.

So they cut his hair for the movie. I think I literally said, I was like, dude, mind blown. I thought that was i think i literally said i was like dude mind blown i thought that was a wig like no it was just his act they cut his hair like that he grew it out and then they cut it all shitty like what commitment unbelievable crazy didn't you tell me that javier bardem once he got his hair cut for no country for men he said he wasn't going to get for three months he goes i'm not going to get the for three months. He goes, I'm not going to get the pussy for three months. He was just going to be around Marfa just railing out trailer horse.

Could have been awesome. You have to fuck kids with that haircut. Gracie, stop licking me. All right. Enough. Gracie was doing like a minute three of licking me. We should fuck Ben's dog. Dude, Gracie's getting hyped about all the dog fucking.

Yeah. It's getting her hot. Would be funny if wall were podcasting if Gracie never ever like cleared that, you know, when people are like very horny

in the heat of the moment, they clear a table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an expensive vase and a phone. Every movie where people

are fucking, they have to destroy their apartment before they do it. They're like, I gotta fucking fuck all my tax documents. They're ripping their sink

out off the wall like Johnny Cash. Throwing a W-9 in their seats on the ground. They're like, I'll go to jail, fuck it. Starting an oil fire.

Right. Ripping out their copper plumbing from the floorboards. Yeah, it looks like the end of the conversation when he's just destroying his whole house.

Just so they can, they can fuck a woman with their pants over their ass still yeah just the moment just you hear zip and he goes yeah she goes oh it's like they're already yeah a movie a movie sexy where they're like yeah this is how people have sex they pull their dick through their fly leave it button and then the woman just kind of inches her dress up and then they just fuck yeah and somehow it's in and it feels great somehow it's in, and it feels great.

And somehow it's awesome. She's not dry as shit. She's immediately wet. And then they're just going, Ugh, fuck! And they don't have to ask if they can cum in the other person, even though they've never had sex before. Right, everyone's cumming inside of each other.

I always wonder that in movies. They never pull out. No one's ever pulling out. If I make a movie, I'm gonna have the guy ask like seven times. He's like, are you sure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you sure you remember to take your birth control pill? Right.

You're sure? It's a whole, but it's still a Tony Scott wind blowing through the window. Candles. And then it's just her going like, did you already come inside? He's like, maybe. the window candles and then he's just it's just her going like did you already come and so he's like I don't maybe he clearly did it didn't tell her and then tried to keep fucking to pretend yeah but it shot like the taking of Pelham

one two three is it giving you a headache I'm gonna shoot a movie where the guy pulls out and he's just running Jack still jacking off like it like kind of tottering over to the bathroom and then just like over the toilet, just jacking off, just shooting ropes into the toilet.

You don't see enough realistic coming on screen. No, you don't. You don't. You don't. Efficient coming, just right into the toilet bowl, move right on to your bag. You never do.

We get everything right. We get the murders right, how people die. Everything's right except for the cum. Yeah, it's true. And it's not right and i'm going on strike from uh i'm gonna i'm gonna join the the protests the wga yeah because they haven't done fucking right and all the uh no one does fucking right no one portrays fucking right no one does

it in porn that's not how fucking is no one does it in cinema there where can we go to learn how sex actually is except for the privacy of our own bedroom it's true yeah and then you look on twitter it's just people having sex with dogs so the kids nowadays they have no idea what's going on no they have no clue they're bringing a girl home on a first date they're either uh you know power fucking her and it's awful just because they've watched too much porn or they're doing the thing where they're clear they're trying to be romantic so they're like clearing the fucking and just like trying to fuck a woman like on their like kitchen counter they're always doing the thing like they're always smushing them against a wall like the first time the first time you're

having sex with a woman you're like she's okay getting her head bashed into this wall yeah yeah being like i know what women want i'm gonna invite to invite her over. We're going to wash my car, and I'm going to soap her boobs up and make her boobs really soapy. Because I saw the Dukes of Hazzard with Jessica Simpson. So that's how I'm going to fuck. I'm going to invite her over and make her boobs soapy. I want soapy boobs. Everyone's disappointed because we grow up on all these fantasies,

and then you have sex, and you're like, this sucks ass. You come in like 13 seconds seconds she didn't even die at the end yeah exactly bitch you were supposed to die the hell i didn't even get to kill her i'm not supposed to get a cramp i'm supposed to be in really good shape dude she didn't even like squirt and it like went all over the walls and shit we didn't have to flip the mattress after yeah because it was like we were fucking in a pond i'm not supposed to be fucking and then my foot cramps in a weird way so i have to like kind of turn on one hip and keep fucking but it's like kind of cutting off circulation to her legs

so she's like complaining yeah sideways had a good fucking uh representation when thomas hayden church is banging that asian lady yeah it Yeah. It's just so sloppy and disgusting. He just collapsed on top. The better one is when he's fucking the waitress at the end. The big fat lady? That's great. He's on the fat lady and he's kind of doing that thing where you just grab the end of the bed and you're pulling yourself into the bus.

Because your hip flexors have given out. And that's exactly how you imagine those types of people fucking. Like fat punk rock people. With reinforcement. yeah like you like that you little piggy listening to metallica someone has to hold on to a thing that has been welded at some point yeah welders have been involved but they're mostly doing the thing where they're sliding back and forth on their own like body yeah you know what i mean yeah because like have you ever sat on one of those medicine balls yeah one of those uh what do they call the it's a it's a exercise ball an exercise ball have you ever sat on an exercise

ball and you go back and then forward and then back that's what it's like to fuck a person that's that shape i'm assuming no also movie scenes where like the woman has like a big ass and the guy's fucking her like it's like the chances of the guy having a great dick are pretty low. So a lot of the movies should be like the woman's like, you were just in my cheeks. You didn't even. Right. The guy just comes on her back. It should be the guy struggling to open her ass so he can get to her pussy.

Yes. Because he has a normal sized dick. He panics. He panics. He goes, I'm not really good at doggy. I'm more of like a missionary guy Starts fucking her with his middle finger Pretending

No it's great He's doing this Yeah Grabbing a remote Pretending it's his dick Pulling out a cucumber He's like you like that That fucking big ass dick

He goes they'll never catch me Yeah And then he pretends He pretends to copy Pulls the cucumber out And just squirts like Hand sanitizer on her back He goes Ugh fuck he's like why does it smell like a science lab on my back there really is no way guys like dj khaled have ever been inside a pussy

because yeah the kind of bitches he's having sex with their asses are the size of his house dj khaled looks at his wife's pussy goes and what and what is that? And what is this? She's like, that's the clitoral hood. He goes, and what is that? That's the clit. He goes, all day, all night. They can't keep up with it. Have you seen that video of him asking what his breakfast is? He's been filming a lot of videos.

I swear to God he's autistic. He's been playing a lot of golf. He's a big golfer now. But there's a video of him just at a hotel getting a breakfast served to him. And he goes, and what is this? And she's like, golfer now. But there's a video of him just at a hotel getting a breakfast served to him. And he goes, and what is this? And she's like, that's toast. He goes, and what? Dude, he's severely mentally retarded.

Can you pull that video up? He probably dates a ceramic lion. I've seen his wife, and she despises him. Oh, yeah. Like Melania? Yeah. Because she'll be like, honey, did the Drake vocals come in? And she's covering her

face. Is it this, Jason? Yeah, that's the video right there. Oh, shit. You know what? I need to plug this in real quick. We the best! We the best! I'll plug that for the live stream. Give me one second, folks. That's the best turkey bacon. That's the best turkey bacon. What a retard.

Okay, here we go. Oh, is it not? not hold on I don't hear any volume What is this? Those are pickled banana peppers. And what is this? And perhaps what is this? Water. Sunday morning. Sunday brunch. Sunday breakfast. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Holy shit, dude.

Yeah, he sees... This is called what? Holy shit. He's full simple, Jack. Like an Appalachian Persian. Good Lord. And what is he? What is he? I don't know. He's full simple Jack. Like an Appalachian Persian. Good Lord. What is he? What is he?

I don't know. He's one of whatever. He's some type of retarded brown. Who knows? Oh my God. He's so fucked. Yeah. He's like, what is this?

Like, that's your kid. What is this? That's your self-respect. He goes, I don't know what that. That's not real. He's at a car dealership. He's like, what's this? Like's your self-respect. He goes, I don't know what that. That's not real. He's at a car dealership. He's like, what's this? Like, that's the wheel.

Yeah, he really sucks ass. He almost died at sea, by the way. Yeah, when he was on that Wave Runner jacuzzi thing. That was sick. Yeah, it was just late at night. He's like, I'm kind of scared. Ha ha. He's like, I cannot see the shoreline anymore.

He got lost in the Miami Harbor. Just like, yeah, he just kept riding his jet ski and he didn't know how to get home. And it just got dark. He just brought an air horn with him. He's like, the Coast Guard's like, wait, are you making a song? What's crazy is like he kept filming himself. He's in total dark. So he's riding a wave runner like 70 miles an hour in

total darkness yeah he's going i'm scared i don't know where i am i could hit something at any moment because i don't know how to get home i'm kind of thinking about how i wasted my whole life being a laughingstock who fell backwards into money i never eat pussy and he said that too he did he said he never eats pussy the only thing he doesn't eat is pussy yeah well you could just if I was a woman

I would just tell him my pussy's bulgogi he'd go right to town dipping it in a little bit like a little bit of oil he'd bring rice paper with him I don't I don't

if you don't want to eat pussy look I didn't even first of all I get it I didn't even shame the lady for having sex with a dog in church. No, I don't shame... I don't dogpile these people.

Pro sex. Pro any sex. If you want to have sex with a dog in church... Fuck everything. Go ahead. I don't care. It's fine. Go fuck a cricket.

Do whatever you want. No, look. If I was at church and someone brought in a dog and started having sex with it, it would be fine. It would. It's fine. Who cares? Who cares if the dog comes on you? It's not as bad as what the priest has been up to.

Yeah, they probably were with that girl in church. They're like, hey, get your fucking pussy off that dog and fuck this kid. The priests are like, hey, kids only. You can fuck a puppy. That's it. And we will move you around church to church if you fuck that puppy. Just the pastor being like, Jesus Christ, I thought I was fucked up. Look at this bitch.

Oh, my God. He's inside a child. He's like, oh, boy. He's like, but I am doing mental. Taking a couple of snapshots for later, if you know what I mean. So I can masturbate to the to the lady. To the lady. If I saw a lady fucking a dog, I'd probably jerk off to it later.

I'll be honest. I'm not going to pretend I'm this pious guy. Sure. Sure. Sure. There. But for the grace of God, go. Yeah.

You can just blur the dog out you just imagine yourself as a dog that's all it is you go I'm the dog yeah I'm the dog not discriminate remember those kids in school they used to be like you watch porn with dicks in it like that makes them gay they're like I only watch lesbian

porn yeah meanwhile you're jacking off next to them at a sleepover. They're like, dude, don't be gay. We're only gonna watch lesbian porn. He grabs yours. He's like, well, you're not even coming yet. Dude, Devin's gay. He won't even let me fucking jerk his dick off with his sock.

And then they show you some weird porn where they're like, oh, you guys, you haven't seen the et porn where the guy looks like et yeah and all of his fingers are dildos and they molest that girl you haven't seen and then they put that on and that's somehow not gay that's not that's not to watch some freakishly weird home video type of deal they made me watch so many things like that i watched an et one i watched the... Do you ever see the Bigfoot one? Who's the they in this story?

Who's they? My friend Nathan. Oh, okay. Your uncles. Yeah. Yeah, Uncle Steve. Ben was like, the state. I was court mandated.

You kept fucking so many dogs, you had to go through like a clockwork orange thing where they showed you people fucking different things until it was torturous uh i gotta be honest i haven't made it through a lot of stanley kubrick's films by the way as much as i pretend to really be an intellectual like barry lyndon was really good and i was like fuck this is great and then i like paused it and i was like an hour 40 and there was more and i was like yeah i think i'm good i get it it's okay like it was late and i was like i'm not gonna finish it tomorrow. It's okay. Like it was late and I was like, I'm not going to finish it tomorrow. I think I got it. Great.

It was great though. He's, he's a brilliant filmmaker, but I understand being a little like, man, they're very rigid and not, he doesn't, you know,

they're not, uh, they're very mathematical. Yeah. They're not like super, uh, uh, soulful.

Yeah. You know, I made it like an hour through, uh, 2001, a space odyssey. I was like, I got it.

That movie can suck my ass. I don't know. Okay. It's great. I've seen The Shining like a hundred times. Groundbreaking. Shining I can always watch. Shining's amazing.

Full Metal Jacket's great. Full Metal Jacket's amazing. I've seen that a hundred times. It's not so great. Clockwork Orange. I didn't make it through that one either. I thought I loved it when I was like a teenager because I was like, but yeah. Hell yeah.

It was like the odd future of movies. Sure. It was Wolfgang. It was like, yeah. Golf Wang. Golf Wang. Golf yeah. It was like the odd future of movies. Sure. It was Wolfgang. It was like yeah. Golf Wang. Golf Wang. Yeah. And then I rewatched it

like a year ago and I was like eh. It's cool and crazy but it's not that I don't know. I didn't it's just like

who wants to watch this too many times you know. I do love like the idea of like listening to Singing in the Rain and raping like old rich people. Sure.

That's great of course yeah like but it's i don't know could have been better to me yeah a little bit if i'm gonna watch something that's three hours it kind of needs to be a little i don't know like boogie nights i can watch over and over magnolia i can watch over and over if i'm gonna watch a three-hour movie i mean i can even watch uh bow is afraid over and over just because it's so it just goes so many different places yeah sure yeah i mean i'm the i'm the king of like i'll throw a malik movie on and then just watch tiktok on my phone and then it the credits roll and i go uh i love art you go i did it another one to throw in my belt yeah that really is like the unification of opposites you're watching like a Terrence Malick's film and then you're watching people

like crush their skulls and vices. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm putting on Tree of Life and I'm on my phone like looking at like a retarded, like a waterhead and they're throwing rings on it. And I'm like, oh, look at that.

There's some hand in some wheat. She's running her hands through wheat. I love her. Anyway, let me see what this retarded. Yeah, this is the new trend here Where they feed their baby to a donkey And then the donkey eats it I'm like oh His dad beat him

So now he has trauma And he's grown up Yeah anyway Anyway I'm gonna watch this This family fights to the death With forks And you go what What's that I'm going to watch this family fights to the death with forks. And you go, what's that?

Oh, it's a... He's looking at a tree and he's thinking about God. Yeah, that fucking... That ruins... Oh, man, that girl's got that whole wiffle ball in her pussy. And then the credits the credits roll and I go I go fucking God I love Art

I love Art and then I'll be at a party later and you talk about like I watch the whole thing somebody's talking about like some Tarkovsky movie they just saw I'm like

I just saw Tree of Life the part where he's looking at the tree fuck yeah it's like I'm next to the tree I'll do the same thing I'll be like yeah

so Burt Kreischer and Jay Moore they don't speak anymore and i but i also watch tree of life yeah uh we should start i think editing films that have the uh like the running yeah like the running little running tiktok guy and family guy clips and uh the subway surfers footage yeah you should be able to rent the movies on whatever streaming service you want and then like tiktok videos pop up next to it no we are finished i mean like it was becoming mainstream i remember like i think pete davidson had a whole segment on weekend update one time where he was like and people liked it and they were like let's make a great point like he's talking like shitting on the irishman because he's like dude he's like it's three hours long okay like make the movie you know like 14 minutes you know that's he what a retard

and it was like kind of legitimate i was like yeah this is exactly how people think like they just want it to be quick well i i think of myself as an actual it's happening to me now like i was at my and i got a lot of free time now and i was like you know i'm gonna re-watch oh brother where art thou and i like i had to buy it on youtube yeah and i put it on and then i made it to like the chain gang singing and i was like yeah let me just put the phone up real quick and then i made it through like four family guy clips i'm like let me just turn the movie off actually i don't have like the mental capacity to watch movies it's hard to keep up yeah yeah yeah i'm just gonna go masturbate back to back right if i watch the movie for 45 minutes i'm and then i grab my phone i'm like really proud of myself like man i'm like a buddhist i've like achieved i bought

for ben's birthday it was just ben's birthday i bought him some books that i've read before like when before you know the the, the, uh, technology ruined any semblance of happiness. And I was like, I was like rereading them and I made it to page 20. I go, God, I love books anyway.

And I just chunked out. Every time I try reading the book. You threw it out the window. Yeah, I threw it out the window. I'm like, I'm not even going to give it to Ben anymore. Let me see what the reader did back up you.

You put it in one of those book bins in your neighborhood like pass it on like I've already learned enough I can only watch movies on TikTok where it's cut up into 40 clips from the movie and I'm just like I stumble on one and I go to the account and I'm like 30 minutes

later I'm like I fucking love Limitless that's a great film that's where you guys gotta get ironically into literature where I'm like, I fucking love Limitless. That was a great film. That's where you guys got to get ironically into literature, where I'm reading a Herman Melville book, and I'm like, man, this is so fucking bad. This sucks. He's just writing about whales, and he was crazy. I'm like, what a fucking retard.

And I'm flipping the pages. I'm like, beautiful prose, but what a goddamn retard. You're good at that. I don't know. I read a page of a book and I'm like, I close it and I look at the back

and the reviews. I get all proud of myself. I'm like, man, look at me reading a book. Like I can't. You just start walking with it. I just might walk around

with it under my armpit. Like you're a schoolboy. Yeah, I put a scarf on. I just can't. I don't know. I get so bored. And then if I stop reading it

and come back to it three days later, I'm like, what am I supposed to remember this shit? And I didn't throw the book. Yeah. Anytime I've been reading a book, I'm like, I can't wait to tell people I read this later. That's it. The whole time. And then you get to the point where you're like, well, if the book's 300 pages, I read

100. That's basically reading the book. Exactly. And then I Google the plot and I'm like, that's enough. I can fucking. But can I explain very quickly what it is like you guys love the retards on tiktok as we all do uh-huh i don't no not really i didn't didn't study them as much until i met you well what are you doing on your phone then me and him look at retards i watch body cam footage in wisconsin a lot because that's where they all are everyone's fucking crazy in wisconsin for some

reason i watched like murder documentaries, true crime shit. Devin's on his phone turning into Taxi Driver. I watch a lot of like these guys that just make these comedy documentaries, you know, like Too Lazy to Try, if you will. Sure. Beige Frequency. Oh, I'm very well aware of their work. The Werner Herzogs of the world.

You're watching The Worms Turn for the fifth time. The Worms Turn, the Jim Norton epic. The apocalypse now of Jim Norton's life. You're nine hours into an Anthony Kamiya documentary. Investigating the Anthony Kamiya Brother Wheeze controversy. What's the second video?

What's the second video? I don't even know if that's a real thing. Oh no, he has a controversy with his brother. With his brother, yeah. Brother Joe. Yeah, his biker brother Joe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come down to FH Riley's.

So Devin's on his phone turning into Taxi Driver. I'm trying to turn my brain into Candy Crush. Like, it doesn't even exist anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to erase my consciousness. Like, last night I watched The Devil in a Blue D i've already seen it great fucking movie but i paused it washington yeah it's like it's like um basically like chinatown like with black people right spike lee spike uh no no no um somebody else i'm thinking of mo better blues yeah that's mo better blues um

had a big black night last night i watched cro Crooklyn and then Devlin in a Blue Dress. It was great. But I paused it four times to watch 20 minute insane things on my phone. Like Crazy Lady in a DUI traffic stop. I'm dying. It's like giving myself carbon monoxide. That's what I'm saying.

To finish a movie, you almost have to treat a movie like it's a football game. Like you watch it in quarters. Yeah. You need a time out to get fucking serotonin back into your head.

Just so antsy all the time. You know? But you guys, you're also obsessed with retards because you want to watch a crazy lady who's smoking crack and her tits are flying out

and she's getting run over with a car. I love it. So you're fascinated with the retards. I love that shit. I love Ghetto Deer. This is what I'm saying.

You're not watching Ghetto Deer or those women you I'm saying. You're not watching... What is Ghetto Deer? Ghetto Deer are those women you see in bad neighborhoods that have like 80 pairs of tits and their shirts off and they're just like kicking them around in the street and screaming. They're in a car's headlights just staring. They're in front of cars stopping traffic like there's... Oh, the last power

they have is to stop traffic. They're like, you ain't going to work. You can't hit me. They look like a strange mythical... They're like, you ain't going to work. You can't hit me. They look like a strange mythical. They're speaking in tongues. Yeah. They look like a skinwalker. Yeah.

They look like they're out of like the gods must be crazy. They're just like. Yeah, they're paused in high beams and then you honk their horn and they go. And then they just like, yeah. They get on all fours.

Yeah, they jump eight feet in the air. I love drug addicts and meth heads and crack heads I would love to go so crazy I turn into something from cryptozoology yeah

like they go like oh what happened to Ben you go oh Ben you didn't hear he's the moth man now yeah he's a local legend yeah

he's the moth man yeah what happened to your co-host so he's been spotted in Bolivia by jungle tribesmen yeah and it's just bit it's basically comes out at night yeah it's bit you see like really rough footage of ben in the tall grass trying to trying to message dev in the selfie slot on his phone

like a night walker yeah one of those guys in hawaii that people think they see uh oh shit but so what i'm trying to say is, here's how you cure. Because you're obsessed with the retards. You're obsessed with the retards, as am I. Who's more obsessed with the retards than me? Nobody. Literally nobody than you. But I want to get past that wall of self.

Now, here's the problem. Yeah. Who wants to watch an interview or read about a guy who's really smart? Or like watch an interview about Stephen Hawking or something like that? Yeah, I don't care. That's teenage shit. I'm obsessed with retards, but I still am lonely. So I want to get past that wall of self.

So then I read a 500-page book about a retarded guy who was obsessed with a whale. You see what I mean? So now I'm getting past that wall of self. I'm curing my loneliness. And I'm stepping inside of the body of someone who's crazy and retarded. And like a monster. You know what I mean? So now I'm getting past that wall of self. I'm curing my loneliness and I'm stepping inside of the body of someone who's crazy and retarded and like a monster. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the book is actually the thing you're looking for. Does that make sense? And then there's a bigger payoff at the end. There's a bigger dopamine release, which Andrew Huberman said's good because then you stop doing all the other stuff that's bad, actually. Yeah, I mean, every time I've read a book, it's just to be like, to stunt on people and feel good about myself.

I don't retain information, Ben. I don't know how else to say it. I read a book once every two years, so when somebody goes, what's the last book you read? I don't have to go, like, see spot, right? Yeah. You know? It's not something from grade school.

The last time I read a full book, I was coming down off Adderall, and it just happened to, I happened to open it, it luckily and I read the whole thing and I haven't done that since like you dropped it it fell open and you're like oh shit yeah I was like oh yeah I hate the book Jace gave me now

because I'm reading a Gilead who my friend Aaron Gwynn sent me for my birthday too as did Jace it was very funny I gave Ben I go this is my most cherished book I love this book and I gave it to him and then 10 minutes later he opened a package from Aaron Gwynn and it was the same book. And I was like, all right, Aaron, stay out of my brother's life. Stay in your lane, bitch.

Stay in your lane, Aaron. So I've been reading. I was like, fuck. I'll try to read Gilead. And right now I'm fighting the urge to stop reading it because it's so sweet. It's like this guy writing a letter because he's dying and he's leaving notes about life to his child and stuff, like to read in the future and shit. I'm like, oh, it's so sweet and so thoughtful.

I'm like, where's the guy having sex with watermelons or dead bodies? Where's the guy running around crazy on drugs, losing his life? Where's the bloodshed? It's so sweet and lovely, and I look, it's a Pulitzer Prize winner. That's the stuff people want to read. They want to read a beautiful thing

about a mother and a daughter and a sweet little baby, and it's all goo-goo-ga-ga, and there's rainbows and sunshine and stuff please tell me something happens later in the book that's fucked yeah the dad fucks the kid okay yeah okay i'm in for the long haul once you make it to pastry and he's like by the way this whole time i've been fucking the shit out of this kid no it's just i was trying to get i was trying to get you to read a book written by a woman yeah i was trying to I was trying to break a little bit of autism.

That's why I don't like it. Yeah. I was trying to get a little bit of autism broken out of your head. Because when I did read a lot, that was what I loved reading, to be like, oh, here's what it's like to be a completely different person than I am. Right, right. Like, I read, like, Life of Pi, and I'm like, oh,

this is what it's like to be like an Indian person. Sure. Or like Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wow. I'm like, here's what it's like to be Puerto Rican and like, you know, California. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I'm dumb, but when I read, I'm just like, just fucking say it. Enough of the song and dance here with your writing. You got to write.

It's a big smoke screen so you can be that smart. Tell me what's going on. Yeah, Devin's like, if I want to learn what it's like to be other people, I'll watch Soft White Underbelly. Exactly. That's how I do it. There's nothing, literally no book better than The Whittakers. That is so good.

There's nothing better than Ray. I love The Whittakers. That guy is outside just, who's more interesting than Ray Whittaker? For anyone that doesn't know, The Whittakers is about a family, fourth generation incest. So they've been having incest for four or five generations, I believe, in the hills of Virginia. And a guy figures

out the hole they live in and he goes and visits them. The guy from Soft White Underbelly. Yeah. And he just sticks a camera in their face. And some of them learned how to speak from being around dogs. So they bark like they bark like they bark like pit bulls and stuff. They don't know how to speak. They're extremely retarded.

Their eyes are made out of toes and shit. Yeah, no, it's stunning. Stunning. You hear about people like that in Appalachia. Yeah. But then you see it. That are eating bird seed and clucking like chickens. It's absolutely...

It's incredible. Oh, by the way, you would think they're drinking tons of moonshine and doing heroin and stuff. They're not. He keeps zooming in on the trash in there. They just love soda. Yeah.

Yeah. They gravitate. They're so retarded, if they drank alcohol, it would kill them. They need... If they had one less brain cell, their bodies would go offline. Their brains are like a power grid that was built in the 40s and it can't handle modern fucking Wi-Fi and shit.

And it's just held together by just strings and rubber bands. If they bathe themselves, their skin would just peel off and they bleed out. Oh, they're not allowed to take showers? They don't do it. They can't do anything. It's amazing they can stand up. They're held together by their own stains, really.

Yeah, someone tried to give them soap once and it killed one of them. They died immediately because they washed their hands. Yeah, they're all like, we gotta kill Dial. Who's Dial? You'll find out.

Irish Spring's been a menace we gotta kill Dial. Who's Dial? You'll find out. Irish Irish Spring's been a menace to this family. They like got soap and they're like scrubbing their head and then they're just ripping off like skull and like brain and shit.

Oh man. Yeah. I really hope do you think any of those people are like fucking do you think they like they're up to date on like what's going on in the world and stuff like they get a newspaper or they don't so they live like the like the ancient mayans like it's just the sun goes up and down it's actually beautiful yeah it's like how we would live we didn't have the news you would just all you would focus on is what you have you wouldn't know what's going on the 20 miles you

wouldn't even know what's going on 20 miles away probably you wouldn't know any like they don't know what's going on that's not in front of their eyes and like barely that it's like fish that live in an aquarium which is hilarious because we're always told to like live in the moment try and live in the moment which is like what dogs do and the whittakers right but they are we all are it's the western idea of a monk is turning into a whittaker yeah yeah they're they're transcending the flesh their pure consciousness they don't even care about learning language or money or economic systems they just sit in fields and bark like dogs they howl at the moon they lick themselves Maybe that's what happens when you know it all.

Maybe you regress. Maybe Ray Whitaker figured it all out, and he just started barking like a fucking dog. Well, that's what I've always thought about. Maybe people who go supposedly insane and start having weird schizophrenic long posts on the internet about time travel and the future, and I go, maybe this guy actually isn't insane he's the

only one who who can see the see the code so to speak isn't all the writers and philosophers you're obsessed with don't they all die like shitting in their hand and drawing on walls and stuff they turn into appalachian oftentimes people smartest guys alive they all turn into the freaks smoking crack they live underground yeah they're building bombs just fucking pouring soup in their assholes

it's just like like this and they put a spoon in it and they're like the smartest guy ever somehow yeah they're so smart

that they I think the problem is they looked at reality as it is and they're like well I have to go insane because life is

insane because you could out think, you could think your way out of life because if there is, we don't know. You truly can. I've done it a couple of times myself. We're at like the grocery store and you're like, this is shipped from like a farm over here

and I'm just like, I'm basically an ant. And then it goes in a landfill and it's dumped somewhere and like this whole thing is crumbling. It could drive you crazy. You see the planes, you go, fuck, and that's in's in the ozone right and then that's why we like reality tv makes you feel so comforted you're just like oh just i need to be dumb shut up everyone shut up that's what i said that's what i'm doing with the tiktok because if you're if you're smart and you investigate

stuff you're just like all of a sudden you're like relieving a sprouts because you started crying out of nowhere yeah well that's clearly also wrong you know right that i can't live in just this basic society like that yeah you can live in the moment you what you got to do i do this all the time i walk i just walk in circles around my pool like and i just think and i just keep walking in circles that's because you're half japanese so yeah your peace your peace of mind is to not stop moving like a shark yeah ben's brain has gills on it yeah and if it doesn't feel the wind move past it a guy who walks 20 miles a day but still has shit posture and no muscles in his legs i might be half japanese come to think oh you are

dude you work out like spongebob lifting teddy bears just had a Grimace shake gotta work this off Katie give me those pillows god damn you I had a Grimace shake last night and a Big Mac I had a Grimace birthday meal

from McDonald's limited time only I had the Grimace shake folks someone paid me on the live stream which by the way live streams every Wednesday which was very funny to me

on the Clips channel you're like if somebody gives me $30 I'll get a Grimace I'm like that's the cost it got to by the way, live streams every Wednesday. Which was very funny to me. On the Clips channel. You're like, if somebody gives me $30, I'll get a Grimm's Shake. I'm like, that's the cost it got to get the Grimm's Shake. Yeah.

This is all a convoluted way for you to eat the Grimm's Shake. That's the healthcare cost. Yeah. If you were an honest man, you would go down to the McDonald's and get a Grimm's Shake yourself. Yeah.

And go, I'm doing this to myself. I woke up not bloated and I felt good because I did, which Devin shits on me for. In the other room, you guys see there's an assault bike, and I do the assault bike. It's a full-body workout.

It's unlimited resistance. I love how it's an assault bike, like you're in the Marines or something. Is it assault bike or salt? It's an assault? It's a sugar bike. What is it? It's an assault bike, like assault. Oh, assault you.'s a sugar bike. So what is it? It's an assault bike, like assault. Oh, assault you.

Yeah, assault bike. So it's a full body workout and there's a fan in it. So the faster you go, the more it resists. So there's unlimited potential in terms of what can be realized. That's what my grandma used to work out on in front of Lifetime. No, because it's intermittent. So I sprint for 30 seconds and i rest for 90 and i do that eight times you're working out in a ceiling fan basically that's

all right you're working out in like a leonardo da vinci machine like it should be a big spindly top helicopter that goes up in the air i burn is this a lot i burn 110 calories every time i do this oh it's not not really a a lot, but it is calories. When I go to the gym, I burn like 350 on the stair thing. The stair master? Just doing that? Yeah, I do 100 flights. That's great.

And then I lift a little bit. That's great. The lifting is just a nightmare. The weights are so heavy. Yeah. How do people do that? Lifting is a real burden. Lifting sucks ass.

And I don't want to do it because I don't want to be associated with those other guys that are like having orgasms the entire time. Like you called me today when I was at the gym and I couldn't because I was out of breath

and also there was a guy behind me just like... Like doing the... What is it called? The pregnancy push. Bench press. You need to be spotted because you're gay.

You have to have a guy's dick over your face. What are you saying? Get it? Get it? Come on. Yeah. Come on. That's right have a guy's dick over your face. What are you saying? Get it, get it. Come on, come on. That's right. Push, push. That's right.

Yeah, we're strong enough to defeat AR-15s. No, you're not. I'll shoot you. Who cares I buff you? I'll shoot you right in the head. Yeah. I'll kill you. I'll kill you.

You lean over. I'll kill you. It doesn't matter how much you bitch. I'll fucking kill you. I'll follow you home. I'll kill you. It doesn't matter how much you bitch. I'll fucking kill you. I'll follow you home. I showed him Joker makeup. Yeah. A guy about to put 350 up and you just shoot

him in the kneecap. It comes down and cuts his head off. Oh, big tough guy. You're gonna get your protein after this. Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh, man. Those are my favorite guys who turn lifting into like reasons

to live you know guys you try to convince themselves they don't work in like middle management right guys who like I come in here every morning and I give myself the energy and that's the same thing I bring to life when I'm pushing cars at enterprise it's like dog it's all

I appreciate you because you put yourself on a hamster treadmill that'll keep the bring to life when I'm pushing cars at Enterprise. It's like, dog, it's all... I appreciate you because you put yourself on a hamster treadmill that'll keep the gun out of your mouth, but like this motivational shit. It's always the thing with the Rogan stuff. I know it's like the Rogan stuff. I know I shouldn't talk because I'm like not in shape, but it's like the Rogan things

like, dude, he ran 100 miles. It's like, who cares? Yeah, who gives a shit? He just didn't stop running. Like David Goggins. It's like if Kobe had no goal. who gives a shit? He just didn't stop running. Like David Goggins. It's like if Kobe had no goal. I don't get it. So you're waking up at 4 a.m., training all day, pissing blood. For what?

Are you going to win a championship? What are you doing, psycho? You're mentally ill. Running around fucking Sylmar for 18 hours a night. I'm more impressed with people being like slobs. Yeah. I want to be the David Goggins of being a slob. Yeah. I'm sitting there with people being like slobs. I'm gonna be the David Goggins of being a slob.

Sitting there and the people camp doing, dude, how do you do it? You look fucking disgusting. It's all a crap shoot because there's people that are slobs their whole lives. They live till 80. He won. Oxygen machines. He never had to do the David Goggins bullshit. Didn't ever have to sweat like you. His legs didn't

hurt. I mean, he had problems, but that's what the healthcare system's for, baby. That's what the pills are for. Fucking come on. He had problems, but he smoked. All he did all day was smoke, and then he had a little wheelchair that rolled him around. Exactly. It's the life.

I mean, at the end of the day, because Goggins ran 200 miles, and it's like, okay, and then what? Right. It's like, oh, his muscles hurt all the time. There was a guy in my neighborhood. He was famous he was in the paper he was a doctor he had a heart attack so he devoted his life to to walking constantly he was all he was called the walker in silver lake he would walk around the lake you could see him everywhere walk everywhere died of a heart attack still yeah jim fix like fucking 50 something 55 i'm like well he had a bad ticker so i'm like he

wasted all his time being a fucking walking fag yeah could have been at home fucking living it up eating chinese food it's all a crap shoot baby you could get shot at the gym by me that's really actually why you just have to learn how to lower cortisol yes lower your stress they do call it the silent stress meditate and stuff like that i always hear they're like they're like by the way you know cortisol that's actually that'll kill you the quickest i'm like oh okay well i'm fucked exactly yeah i'm already like like no matter what i do i'm i'm having a stroke at 38 because i've been redlining life since i've been five years old i've had the i've had the anxiety of like a wolf of wall street guy at like four so

i'm i'm already fucked dude my fucking yeah the pathways in my brain look like condemned subway like stations yeah like those subways where it's like oh you are we've never had a train go down here for 30 years yeah yeah yeah end up in like a lost world or something no i mean yeah once once i was like i realized when i was at some point that i was like your your brain is like everything it's i don't know i just don't trust enough stuff i think it's all random i just don't completely i don't get respecting people for being jacked like yeah i get that they did all the work but it's like okay well like if i did that i'd also like look like that i just didn't right yeah like when robert kennedy when there was those those videos of him shirtless like bench pressing there was like so many cernovich guys

being like that's the fucking president we want it's like gross he looks like a chicken breast at a low quality grocery store he looks like he tried to cook chicken in the microwave yeah like without seasoning sunburned and shit. Also, benching like 115 pounds for like eight reps. I mean, whatever. But yeah, he obviously dropped a weight on his throat at some point. It'd ruin your political chances. Hey, everybody. Hey everybody, you're now listening to the new single by professional rock and roll band Spooky Mansion.

A professional band that gets paid money to play rock and roll professionally across the United States. They're a big fan of our podcast. They're actually good friends with Devin. I've hung out with them a few times. It's your best friend. My best fucking friend. They're great people and they Devin. I've hung out with them a few times. It's your best friend. My best fucking friend. They're great people, and they're really talented and very funny. I got really drunk with Grayson, the lead singer, in his van.

They're legit. They tour in a van, and they're great. Support them. Sounds like you have a problem. Good for them. Yeah, Devin's a degenerate. He met him in a bar. Devin goes, great guy. He met him in a bar, you know, because he's a... Devin goes, great guy. I got drunk in the trunk

of his car. We killed a few vagrants together, but they still rock out. Devin drinks like a gumshoe and he saw him in a bar. But they're actually like a legitimate band. They make all their money from doing music. If you go to Spotify, I looked up their Spotify because people pay us for ads and I assume

it'll probably be like 14 listens or something like that. They have one song that has 10 million downloads on Spotify. They're big time. I listen to them. Can we have an ad in one of their songs? That'd be cool. We'll probably have to pay them $10,000 to do that.

Leave one of the songs in with us just sounding brutally retarded. Put it through a voicemail filter so it sounds like a fucking Kendrick album. Yeah. But you can catch them at the UMS Festival in Denver July 29th and in San Francisco at the Independent August

31st. Go check out their stuff on Spotify as well. And like I said, legitimately just a fan of the podcast. Wanted to buy an ad and we thank you Spooky Mansion and Grayson. Check out Spooky Mansion. Bye. Bye.

Hey, guys. We got another ad from a fan here. This is for the Randy Savagery Show. That's R-A-N-D-Y-S-A-V-A-G-E-R-Y Show on YouTube. They can be found on all platforms. They're a fan of the show. They reached out to us. And I watched some of their stuff.

It's actually like a pretty funny show. It looks like a punk rock Rory and Mal. It does. It looks like Ben Foster in Alpha Dog. Yeah. So if you like our show, you've probably never seen a black person talk before. So go check out Randy's Sanford Show. I'm joking. I'm joking. randy wanted us to read some words so uh he says stand-up comedy is supposed to remain uh full of jokes and punch lines mixed with true scenarios while utilizing

a funny hopefully unique cadence and it's not supposed to be just a big fat camp 1995 heavy weights candy bar hiding in your rolls dreadlocks haven make the same tony your shirt looks like it imploded at the bottom of the ocean inside your gay open ass type jokes then he says juice crowd laughs are you sick bored and tired of listening to the same old repurposed twitter jokes then go ahead and uh look up uh go ahead and tool up he's typing black and it's hard for me to read then go ahead and tool up blood and sub to the Randy savagery show patreon and the Randy savagery show on 8 on YouTube I said HBO the Randy savagery show is a comedic

hilarious podcast consistently attacking all sides of society and social conglomerates with funny-ass shit. The Randy Savagery Show can be found on all platforms. Go check them out. There's their YouTube right there. Yeah. And go to their Patreon as well. On God.

On God. Check them out. Randy Savagery Show. Randy Savagery Show. Randy Savagery Comedy Podcast. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Guys, let's talk about sex. Yay.

Let's talk about sex, baby. Remember the days when you were always ready to go? Talking sexually, you were ready to go. Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed. Listen up, bluechew.com. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as viagra viagra cialis and levitra but in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost you can take them anywhere anytime day or night so you can go

ahead you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises the process is simple sign up at bluechew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part? It's all done online. So no visits to the doctor's office,

no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Blue Chew tablets are made in the U.S. and prepared and shipped directly to your door in a discreet package. With Blue Chew, men everywhere are excited to see the postman

because when your package has arrived, your package has arrived. And when I say postman, I'm not talking about Karl Malone who raped a 13-year-old girl and got her pregnant.

I'm talking about your mailman who brings you dick pills so your dick can get hard and then you can fuck your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband. Blue Chew wants to help you have fuck your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband.

Blue Chew wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options at bluechew.com. Chew it and do it. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code LEMON at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code LEMON to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information.

And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you, Blue Chew. Thank you, Blue Chew. Now back to the show. I don't know. I just thought of something, by the way. Yeah. Why is it there a trend now where, you know, Wim Hof breathing is popular?

Yeah, I actually do it every morning. Yeah, it rocks. It kicks out. Have you done Wim Hof before? It's really good for actually do it every morning. Yeah, it rocks. It kicks ass. Have you done Wim Hof before? No, you guys have been mentioning it for like seven months. I don't know. It makes you feel so high. I haven't looked into it once.

It's crazy. It's not a thing where, like some people think meditating is fake. This is a real like physical, like where all the oxygen goes into your bloodstream. There's no more carbon dioxide sorry i'm like you get all the carbon dioxide out of your body you're fully oxygenated and you hold your breath as long as you can and it simulates like a panic attack you and you feel crazy high you feel fucking it's wild how high you feel but it's like doing the knockout game to yourself every morning okay interesting i don't but it's good for you I feel like

the next big thing and mark my words on this people might be walking around with oxygen machines that don't need them because they claim it helps their depression probably like with the two that the thing up the nose with the oxygen tank and stuff there'll be like the hottest

girl you've ever seen with an oxygen tank on yeah she's like I'm bipolar or whatever and it's There'll be like the hottest girl you've ever seen with an oxygen tank on. She's like, I'm bipolar or whatever. And it's because the class... Honey, just be hot and get fucked. You don't have to create this... I go, honey, sugar tits, just be hot and get fucked. You don't have to create this whole Brooklyn, oh,

I got mental illness. Mental illness is on top. Honey, you're a perfect chicken cuckoo. You don't need any seasoning on top. Exactly. Enough. Take off the blanket. Get out of the FDR chair and just start fucking everyone in Brooklyn.

Okay? Enough of your communist horse shit. People start saying it's because of the climate. They need to be on an oxygen machine. If you think about all this, it's true. If you refuse to, none of it is real. That's the secret. That's that book, The Secret, that gay guys read and thought was cool.

No, that's like if you think about it, it'll happen. I'm saying ignore it. I'm saying ignore the poor kids. Ignore the starving people. Ignore the thoughts. It doesn't exist. Your only reality is what you believe in. There was a thing that kind of blew my mind.

There's that that harvard study where they studied like they started this in the 40s and they studied like 5 000 people throughout their life and the most successful coping mechanism for like living a healthy life number one was like humor number two was suppression so like pushing down your emotions like is actually better for your life yeah it kind of blew me i felt like very called out you don't want to be like a like you mine your trauma because what okay and then you die and we don't know what happens then what's the point of mining what for like the afterlife you get up there and god's like did you figure yourself out yeah you're like i figured it out

it turns out my parents screwed me up yeah he's He's like, wow, I'm glad you spent $9,000 in therapy. A year figuring that out. Yeah. No, yeah, I don't know, man. It's just about getting through the day, being happy. That's all it is. I'm not going to think about too much. Once you cut all the horseshoe, you can be one of those happy old people

who's just like, I go down to the diner every day and I eat an ice cube i talk to betsy the waitress i eat an ice cube and then i walk home and then i just fall asleep until the next day and those are like the only happy content satisfied people yeah you know many people in this country consider themselves spiritual and when they say that it means that occasionally at the end of a long day they'll like loudly sigh and just like hold their steering wheel and look up and go I guess I'm spiritual it's like just I'm spiritual

sometimes when I'm hanging out with friends I'll go I needed this I'm spiritual I'm centered I'm getting centered no you like you like acai bowls Full of coconut shavings And fucking dark chocolate

And your fucking Your pudding Yeah life is You're just all Everybody's doing their own Like creative character You know And you do yoga

Because you get like Sexual fantasies there Everyone's got tight clothes on They're all sweaty and hot Shut up Yeah you do downward dog You see the outline Of some girl's pussy lips

From behind Exactly You're not trying to work on muscles So you can feel your back can finally get better. No, you want to fuck everybody. It all goes down to the most retarded needs. Yeah. I mean, I think most guys' life decisions do come down to who you're trying to fuck. That's it.

Like the yoga guy is like, yeah, I'll dress like Edward Sharp so I can fuck these heroin addict looking women in handkerchiefs you know oh yeah or like a punk rock guy like a woman wearing a kleenex right yeah punk rock guy's like i'll get into communism so i can fuck this girl who smells like aftershave you know i think when i was like 20 there was i wanted to fuck this girl that worked at a diner and i kept going because i thought i was like in a fucking like novel i thought it was like a character in my own movie and i kept going there and I would drink coffee every day, all morning, tons of refills just to keep talking to her.

And I never got her, by the way. It was worthless. But I gave myself adrenal problems because I had no clue coffee dehydrated you. I was just in this world of trying to, I wanted to fuck her, so I was poisoning myself. I had to go to the doctor. You have to drink water. How far did you get with her did you figure out where she

we like texted and said some stuff is that the first i ruined it yeah you go where do you what's your address where do you live that's your first place i backed out she had a down syndrome kid and she was like can i bring my kid and i was like yeah i don't know i'm too young for this you you say i'm gonna hit on you and then be like by the way i have a when we started texting i was like i said i think i said something like we can meet i always like wanted to meet at parks because i was poor i was we just do laps like i'll tire them out we'll get some tacos for like a dollar it's like half bag yeah and uh and then at one point she was like well can i bring my kid and i was like i was like aj soprano i'm like i love kids yeah and then she was like he's got he's a little like, he's a little fucked up.

Here's what you do. You know when she tells you she has a kid with Down syndrome? You do this. You go, eh. Eh. Wrong. Try again. Wrong.

Go survey says, eh. She's like, oh, okay. I'll drown my kid in the bathtub so i can go and fuck you yeah i would do that all the time on dating apps where you're like talking to a lady and like you jump over to tax and it's like going well and then she's like you're like so what do you do like how long you've been in the city she's like well you know i was with my ex and now me and my son or anything you're like, block, delete it. Blocked on the app. Blocked on my Instagram. Your thumb goes through your phone. Yes.

You block her so hard. I block her so fast, the air moving out of the way of my thumb heats up to the surface of the sun. Yeah, you burn yourself. Yeah, it's like a sound wave and it melts my phone. So you can avatar the last airbender, like control the screen of your phone. Yeah, exactly. She's like, oh, did this guy just die? All of his information got deleted like men in black.

Like what happened? Yeah. The amount of women where I'm like, you put that shitty kid on the front page of your dating profile. Dude, you got to be a weird fucked up narcissist for that to be your fantasy. I'm going to meet a single lady with a kid and I'm going to save them.

Oh, it's crazy. Because I'm fucking, I'm a messiah. Yeah. I'm Jesus. I'm the Buddha. Yeah. Those people that think they want to save like a waitress. Like they're John Fonte or some shit.

I just knew, like if you fall in love with a mom or whatever, good for you. I mean, you know, that kind of sucks, but good for you. I just knew I'd be the type of guy, even if I fell in love with her, I'd be hanging out. And I'd just look at the kid. I'd be like, I can't believe you let somebody come on you, you stupid bitch. Some guy. He slapped her. I slapped the kid.

I'm like, you're my fucking competition's come. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. I'm, like, jealous of the kid. You're like, I can't believe this kid was in your pussy before me yeah just insane jealousy issues i'm like there's a there's some guy out there fucking came and you and then got killed in iraq now i'm raising his stupid fucking kid well that's what like i'm one of those birds where the bird gets pushed out of the nest and i'm such an idiot yeah just upset like i can't believe you let some volcom hat fuck you that's what's so great about like blue valentine is very accurate we're looking at fast

forward like their lives are horrible yeah he's balding he's smoking cigarettes he's wandering in a field in the beginning yeah there's any like wandering between like in a junkyard or something he's like a bullshit artist in the movie. Yeah. Yeah. His glasses are fucking cool. Those transition lenses are sick. Right. Sure I guess. But there are. But his life's over. That is real life. Like you could be like on a first date like and if it's like the person you're going to marry you could just like

just snap your fingers and it's 20. You guys are like screaming at each other in the kitchen like hitting each other with like pasta and shit. Yeah. That was a pretty damn good movie but in terms of the showing the pasta and shit yeah yeah that that was that was pretty damn good movie but with in terms of the the showing the relationships and shit and then cutting back to him like as a mover in brooklyn and then me you and me it was a little bit yeah and they're like they're just being like they're having lollipop it was a little like typewriter-y yeah yeah you

know sure yeah but it was still i do love that they made like Ryan Gosling like age like a loan shark for some reason yeah like it's like a comb over like gambling attic glasses yeah yeah you know it's just just fat here just fat here just comes out just look at your fat yeah he's always drinking a beer like he's gonna be going around like I just need about

50 bucks on the Rutgers game and I'll be fine I got the Rutgers Rutgers versus St. John's I'll be fine. I got the Rutgers. Rutgers versus St. John's. I'll be fine. Beating up pay phones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think we're at the end here. What? Oh, no. We're at an hour. Oh, my God. My bad. Look at you. I was about to say patreon.com slash lemon party.

But I could just say it now, actually. Say it. Yeah. You can say it every five minutes. And can I promote too? Because we've been getting more people in the live streams. Every Wednesday, 4 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. There we go. There we go.

God, I'm retarded. No, that's okay. You're busy reading. That is the benefit. Because I feel like I am happier than both of you. And it's because I'm kind of retarded. So I'm like, I can't relate a lot of times when you guys say you're not happy.

I don't know, man. Because I think I'm so dumb I don't even know how miserable I am half the time where I think I'm having a great day and I don't even know that I live in hell. No, you're pretty sad sometimes. You get pretty...

But you get sad like how a dad gets sad, where you don't realize you're sad until three years later. And you're just like, in your head, you're like, why am I cutting the grass in the rain? It's like, I was going through a horrific depression at the time. If I'm completely distracting myself throughout the day, I can have bursts of joy throughout though so i feel like i'm happy if i'm just focused on a project and just doing that for eight to nine hours and then kind of right chipping in the backyard walk

around the pool walking the dog but you have you have like had periods of your life that are tough and you're like you're like you're like i'm doing fine and they're like oh by the way i've been working on some drawings and then you show me and and it's like you getting your head blown off. Yeah. Like a shotgun. And I'm like, is this a metaphor for how you're feeling? He goes, I feel great, brother. Brother man.

That's what I know now that I could never trust how I think I feel. So I just don't. Because sometimes I want to be like, I'm fucking happy. I don't know what's wrong with you guys. But then I know I might look back five years later. I'm like, I don't know how I didn't kill myself. Yeah. Yeah.

But I feel happy now, but no, you're in a better place. Jason. I think from the hours of like from three to seven, we were just like, what is this? What do we do?

I like find myself wandering around grocery stores. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I feel weird and I have to go on walks and I'm just like, I have to figure out how to stop feeling weird. I stopped walking. Pandemic ruined walking for me. Really? It was all I'm just like, I have to figure out how to stop feeling weird. I stopped walking. Pandemic ruined walking for me. Really?

It was all I had. So anytime I take a walk now, it reminds me of that period of time. Of the coronavirus. Every day I took like an insanely long walk. Yeah. And then I was just like,

now when I try and do it, I'm like, it just makes me shudder. Get an assault bike. Go on, Jace. I'm at the gym, pal. Yeah. He's on the Stairmastermaster again devin's getting a natural

bbl right now great ass you're freeloading though yeah i use the gym yeah you're using someone else's gym membership and it's bullshit and i'm a pig because they were shooting a movie there the other day this is also by the way i'm not wrong here i was very proud of myself i wanted to tell you guys this oh yeah there was you know when they shoot movies they just have this entitled attitude like the whole neighborhood's there they own it they own it and shit yeah so i was looking for a spot i always have to look for a spot for a long time it's in the arts district it's really difficult and i finally i saw a van that's about to leave and then there's this lady standing next to it but i'm like well she's not associated with the car i pull up in front to parallel park in

the van leaves and the lady standing there next to the van i look back and she goes you park here like mouth it and i go i thumbs up i go yeah and she goes no she does the nah thing and i go uh-huh i just thumbs her back up and then i back right into her hate parking in the arch district by the way nightmare nightmare but i back right into her and the whole time she's like moving back with my car and she's like, stop, stop doing this. And I back in. Is she some bullshit PA? Yes, one of those. I knew what she was doing.

She was waiting for some big sprinter van to pull up so they could go make some awful thing that nobody watches. And then she... But it's starring Abu Bu'd Abu Bu Bu. Don't worry. It's starring Duke Ding Dong Bo. It's starring Abu Bu Abu Bu Bu don't worry it's starring Duke Ding Dong

right it's starring Adam Scott and Indian actor LMNOP and so and then she kind of

kept standing around my car like trying to like pressure me I want to know what I did I was really proud of myself I went to our latest episode and I blasted

Lemon Party in the car and I just sat there looking at my phone and I occasionally look up at did. I was really proud of myself. I went to our latest episode and I blasted Lemon Party in the car and I just sat there looking at my phone and I can't even look up at her and she was just like, what the fuck? And then she went over

to a bunch of other fucking slaves that don't know that they're fucking, you know, being used. Being used completely, yeah. And she was like talking about me and shit and everything.

I've seen her the last three days and I just stand right next to her and I just look right at her. I love it. When I hear that, I want to know the cross streets. I want to go do it tonight and I want to do it to her and I just look right at her. I love it. When I hear that, I want to know the cross streets. I want to go do it tonight. And I want to do it night after night after night until they're done with filming. Want to know what I did today? They put all these cones in these spots

that are usually spots. I drove up, opened my car door, threw the cones in the street, parked right there because they don't have permits. It's bullshit. They're doing the bullshit cone thing. They're writing on pieces of paper, this is your projection. They put it on their front. I'm like have permits. It's bullshit. They're doing the bullshit home thing. They're writing on pieces of paper this is your production. They put it on their front. I'm like yeah that's official.

Get the fuck out of here. They're probably filming another season of Bosch. Everyone's always filming Bosch in this city. The whole city is Bosch. It's non-stop Bosch. Bosch owns the city Devin. It's overrun with Bosch. Sorry I was late for work. It was Bosch again. Bosch got me. They're on season 40 of Bosch. You're like, sorry I was late for work. It was Bosch again. Bosch got me.

God damn it. They're on season 40 of Bosch. No one's ever watched this show. Lost Bosch-less. You're doing, what I love is you're doing the weaponized Asian thing in my neighborhood where people just pretend they don't. They can't communicate whatsoever. That's what I do.

So they can just plow through people. Yep. I go to Aldi when I grocery shop. You gotta get there at 9 because it's very cheap but they just run out of food at like 10. They're just like fucking. It's like dude it's so cheap. I got like 10 chicken thighs for like $4. Jesus

Christ. Dude it's like the raw. They're like marshmallows. Yeah dude it's like yeah it's made out of couch cushion. It is the raw stress for less of, I swear to God. It's all laying this together. Dude, I swear to God, the workers get there at 8, and they open the back doors, and they just throw shit.

There's bacon on coat hangers. Yeah, people are just laying through it. They push a pallet of Coke Zeros over, and it splatters everywhere. And so it opens at 9 o'clock in the morning. You got to get there right at 9, and I get there, zeroes over and it splatters everywhere. It opens at 9 o'clock in the morning. You got to get there right at 9 and I get there and it's always me and 40, just

the most Asian people you've ever like 40, like 50 year old Asian dads run their own, you know, like carpeting business to the tits. So focused on their mission. You like you like you even have a brain anymore or you like an automaton they are crowded

the door like they're powered by an RC controller somewhere like they're carrying a big leaf back to an ant colony somewhere that's the vibe they're giving off and they listen I love the Asians I live in their neighborhood

but you literally it's like 8.59 this week I was there it got to 9.01 they hadn't unlocked the automatic doors

and you could see like Asian people starting to bump into the doors like crowd like Sims characters yeah like there's a fire

outside and they have to get inside or something and you saw the guy like the mexican guy who manager he pulls his key out and as he's like getting like they're it's like emma getting let out like they're getting like all happy and then he unlocks the door and he he unlocks the door and he like runs away from the door and they sprint in i'm just going because i i just get the meat there i get the couch cushion meat i sprint for the meat section

along with all these asian people and i'm like i'm like literally i'm comparing like turkey and like you know carne asada and stuff like asian women are like getting under like in between my arms to like grab a like a cheap piece of meat that they saw yep and you're like i'm like i have to like hip check like an 80 year old asian you gotta throw bows you do have to throw bows a little bit. It's like going to the Armenians the Armenian grocery stores too. Just all these like 100 year old Armenian ladies that are like are you a

Turk? A woman that looks like a sphinx. Putting a curse on you because you took the last like rice-a-roni. Yes. Oh god. No it was true. I was not like I didn't fucking, you know,

shoulder check an Asian woman, but I did kind of push an Asian woman out of the way with my body to like get like a pork tenderloin and throw it in my basket.

You gotta rough house them a little bit. You got, yeah. There's been times I've been walking. They respect it. They do respect it. They know what I'm doing.

Yeah. There's kind of like, I feel like they're like, we know the massive white guy and we respect him for being one of us. Oh, that's a pushback. Oh, okay know the massive white guy and we respect him for being one of us. Oh, little pushback.

Oh, okay. I respect him. Oh, respect. This man is very racist and I like that. This man call us ant on podcast, I can tell. And it's great. There's been times that all the walking down, you see somebody pushing a shopping cart at you, you're like, I have to get out of the way because they'll hit me in the ankle

just snap my foot how do we know they like following black people around stores huh how do we know that because like they just love walking we will ask black people about it and they're like yeah every the 90s yeah you never saw never saw a Chris Tucker movie? Come on. I'm going to tape into a chair, and we're going to make him watch boondocks until he gets it. No, yeah. Not going to do it. No.

The only boondocks I'm watching is Boondock Saints. Shame to your mother. We're going to start Ben on an Uncle Ruckus best of compilation. Ben, you ever see Menace to Society? I saw Dennis the Menace. I saw the Phantom Menace. Menace to Society,

it's about two young black kids with a great future ahead of them. And then they turn into serial killers because an Asian liquor store owner fucked with them. I'm kidding.

Oh, that sounds great. But they follow him and they accuse him of stealing and then he kills both of them and then he just kills everybody the rest of the movie. That's awesome. Oh, duh. But here's the thing. Asian people love walking. How do we really know they're following black people around their stores? Because they're always getting exercise. Because they're four inches away from their back.

Yes. They're looking at black people shopping with like magnifying glasses. Dude, fucking Asian store. Asian owners are following black people around. They have like a cutlass. Yeah. That they like extend and they like look at his pockets and shit. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. They'll jump in your cart. Yeah. Dude, I want to. Asian store owners have like the taxi driver driver gun that extends down their fucking forearm. I want to learn Mandarin or Korean or something just so I can be like, I want to walk into one of those stores and be like, all right, tell me right now, what do you guys actually think about George Floyd?

You, guy who only speaks Chinese. I want to hear what they have to say. They go, fuck Jay-Z. Fuck. I want to hear what they have to say. They go, fuck Jay-Z. You never see those guys weigh in. They never cut to a local business owner that's a Chinese guy to weigh in about Black Lives Matter. Because he's busy assembling his rifle on his roof. What are you talking about?

Exactly. Like that fucking Mark Wahlberg movie. Yeah, that guy's an American sniper. What are you talking about? Exactly. Like that fucking Mark Wahlberg movie. Yeah, that guy's like an American sniper. What are you talking about? They're like fucking Chris Kyle. Dude, have you ever seen the footage of the Watts Riots?

Where there's like Korean guys with Arnold Schwarzenegger haircuts just like firing guns down Koreatown roads. On the roof of their liquor store and shit. It looks like that black and white movie from Inglourious Bastards. Yeah. Where the sniper's climbing. Dude, there's one clip of like an Asian guy,

flat top cut, big glasses, and he's smoking a cig and he's walking across like Fairfax and he's just firing a gun. Like down fucking Fairfax. And it wasn't revenge for Reginald Denny. No. It was like,

I gotta protect my honey bun supply. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. Fucking ruthless fucking ruthless well all those guys they were all like uh had to serve in the korean military right yeah i think you have to serve right so all those guys have like extensive like military experience so that's why they were on like rooftops and shit like yeah like elephant guns yeah is that so because of the blm no no this was lots yeah okay this was like the rodney king right yeah this was after rodney king yeah this is blm1 yeah sure pretty much with less real estate right yeah this is before they were technically the omaha race ride was blm1 yeah sure i have no idea what you're talking about this is before they were sponsored by Sotheby's. Yeah.

Sotheby's. Sotheby's. Sotheby's. Whatever. That's what they call it in the black community. Sotheby's. Yeah. That does sound like an OutKast song. It's Spodeody Doublicious, then Sotheby's.

Sotheby's. Wow, Spodeody Doublicious. I listened. I like black stuff. I love Big Boy. I love Andre 3000. I listen to Rick Rubin's podcast. What are they called when they're together? Huh?

You just said them separately. Outkast. Okay, there you go. With a K. Hey. ATLians. That's a guess. ATLians.

ATLians. What do you think it means? It's like Atlanta but there it's about like having gay sex in Atlanta right cause it's like

it's in Atlanta uh patreon.com slash women party the live streams are every week on Wednesday starting at 4

maybe we do a bit about OutKast having gay sex in Atlanta before we close okay cause he's a big boy. He's the original

big boy. Holy shit. Andre 3000 is his T cell count. There you go. There you go. We did it. We always do it. We always, every week they tune in, they go, are they going to pull it off? It's like a great heist.

Every week they go, these boys can't be racist. Yep. And we show them. Big L, which of course, big lupus. There we go. Big cum. There you go. Big cum, yep.

Like big pun, you know? Yeah, that's good. Big cum. Yeah. Instead of lean back, it's lean forward. I stole that from Devin this week. Oh, that's good. That was a Devin joke from earlier.

I don't even remember that. Thanks for bringing it up. Yeah, of course, buddy. Every week we're slaloming. Not to use a big word around you guys, but we're slaloming down the... It's what skiers do. I don't think that's how you pronounce it.

That's not how you pronounce it. I used to... Yeah. On the dune things. I used to... Yeah, it's not... I want to say saloming, but that's not right. That sounds like a Jew skiing.

We're shaloming. You want to shalom down the slopes? Hold on. We're going to the Catskills. We're going to shalom down the mountain. Here we go. He is on the right track, though. Slaloming. So you would say slaloming?

Yeah. Slaloming. I like the way I said it more. Slaloming? Slaloming. Well, I mean, it's wrong, but... It's okay. Damn it.

Now people are going to think I'm fucking retarded. Well, I got good news for you. Now they're going to think it. Me and Jace, by the way, both of us, for some reason, because of where we grew up, we pronounce words wrong all the time. Yeah. Completely wrong. Like, all. Like, way off. we grew up, we pronounce words wrong all the time. Yeah. Completely wrong. Like, all.

Like, way off. Can I go get an all change? All. All. We just, but we also mispronounce, like, bigger words, too, because we never heard people saying them growing up. So, we just kind of put stuff together. I can't make a double T sound.

I still say, like, I need a bud in my shirt. Bud in. Bud in. Oh, that's interesting. Like, Joe Budden. We do sound kind of retarded. It's kind of cool though. I've always liked people that just have no respect for language.

It's amazing I can talk at all because where we grew up, people say, I ain't got no nothing on my plate. Because of our accent, we can't use a soft A. That's an affectation. Yeah. So we have to do two. So I say like- Oh, so you guys do the ER? Yeah, exactly.

I don't even say titty. I say titty. Titty. Titty. Titty. You always say titty. I say titty. Titty. You always say titty. Titty with two titties. I like that. That's funny. Titty.

That's funny. She got some nice titties. That does sound like you're about to kill whoever you're talking about. Titty. She got some nice titties. Ed Kemper. It also sounds like you're talking about someone underage. Look at her titties.

Look at her eight cup titties at her eight-cup titties. Her titties just came in. Her titty meat. Her titty meat. Yeah, that's how you would say it. Titty meat. I love your shepard titty meat. Yeah, even when talking about women's parts, it has to be food-oriented.

You're describing a woman like you're a butcher. Yeah, look at that fat back. Yeah, look at that. The flank on that, bro. T-bone pushy. She got some good chops. Yeah. Unfortunately, we were essentially raised by like Ed Gein.

So the byproduct of that is- I think it was Gein. Or Gein, whatever. See, that's what I'm saying. You just did it again. But this is why I say slaloming instead of slaloming. Sure. That's why. That's okay. But this is why I say slaloming instead of slaloming. Sure. You know? That's okay.

But either way, we're slaloming past slurs. Yeah. We're slaloming. Every week, the boys, the Lemon Party boys, they get on the mountain and we're slaloming past slurs. Left and right and going up and down and all around. Yeah. And we never say one thing wrong. We're never wrong about anything. We have all around. Yeah. And we never say one thing wrong. We're never wrong about anything.

We have all the good opinions. And then you turn it off and you're just the guy hitting every flag on his way down the mountain. Yeah. Yeah. Well, real offensive slurs

aren't really that funny anymore. It's funny to like obscure slurs. Yeah. Like I dropped Diner Monkey about Greeks a few weeks ago. That's a great one. And I love that.

I'm always waiting for my chance. You know, love that one. Certain waiting for my chance you know love that one certain other one yeah it's weird old antiquated ones besides the ones we already knowing you're thinking about yeah yeah our parents are visiting my dad said chiggers and i go whoa i got a i got a big pop chigger dude oh yeah you can't say that there was a indian kid when i was in middle school named jigger oof and i i got sent to the principal's office because when they were doing roll call one time, the teacher was like, Jigger. And I stood up and I go, don't you call him that.

Yeah. His first name was Sand. All right, Ben. Please end this before we get canceled. Oh, my God. Daughter, Sandy Jigger. Okay. Okay. Like I said, daughter Sandy Jigger. Okay. Like I said, we're slaloming past the slurs.

I don't want to be stealing from Anthony Cumia. That's his territory. You're juking. I'm slaloming. You're like the white Michael Vick. Just putting on the goggles and just slaloming. God. It still sounds wrong, slaloming.

Yeah, because that's not the right. You're not saying it right. Slaloming. God. It still sounds wrong. Slaloming. Yeah, because it's not the right. You're not saying it right. Slaloming? God, you really look like a racist Patch Adams in this fucking shirt. My gummy bear shirt? Yeah. Wait, how do you say it? Slaloming?

Salt. I don't know. You're fucking my brain up now, dude. I don't know, dude. This is why I want to become Jewish, because I know how to pronounce all their stuff. Because it's like. You sound like your Uncle Ben in Spider-Man. Yeah.

Are you acidic now, Uncle Ben? Is everything okay? This is my daughter, Phlegm. Uncle Ben, not Yehu. Hell yeah, brother. I don't know how to end this specific podcast. Me neither. This was an interesting one.

Well, let's watch the police chase. Patreon.com slash Lemon Party. You get all the Patreon episodes there. And you got to watch the live streams too. We put the live streams on there. Yeah. There's great stuff on there. Check it out.

And thank you guys. Much love to you. We'll see you later. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.