lemonparty - 037: Tallent Show (ft. Sam Tallent)

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty Support Sam Tallent and buy his book: https://www.samtallent.com/ Also listen to his podcast Chubby Behemoth with the great Nathan Lund. ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 #lemonparty #lemonpartypodcast #benavery #jaceavery #devancosta Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- Yeah, it's on the brightest setting, but you don't look all skewed and fucked up. We did one bubble lens, and I swear it was like... We looked like we were in a fun house. Yeah, it was... It looked like it was that big, and I looked like the thing from, like, the Fantastic Four. Well, that's better than the John Carpenter thing. Well, I don't know. The thing was actually kind of cool. He impersonated some sexy guys, so who knows?

That's right. Yeah. I think we're recording. Can you see Devin? I'm not obscuring you. I should be on Sam's lap, I feel like. You could be in my little pocket right here. Yeah, can I fit in there?

You want a cashew, Devin? You guys could do like a Jeff Dunham thing. We could, yeah. Make a billion dollars. We could. We don't need you at all, guys. Devin can be the jalapeno on a stick that's right yeah one of the greatest comedy creations i went to bucky's uh last weekend

and thought of you guys i think i sent you a picture oh really i sent you a photo of the bag you did because i i asked you a question about something and you didn't respond for like three hours and then you just sent me a picture yeah of a a bag of goods from bucky's yeah because you asked me again hey sam what's your writing process like where do you get your ideas from do you have halogen lights in the room where you write or he's all canes yeah because with if you're friends with ben it's the combo of like what's your writing process and here's a video of a retarded baby killing itself yeah it's like sometimes i need to open texts from your brother in a lead room.

You need to put on those Eskimo goggles they use for the sun. By the way, I don't want to give away the cart before the horse. What did they say? You were talking into your beer bottle instead of the mic. You dry drunk. I have one non-alcoholic beer and I go

off the rails completely. Now is there like .5 in that? I think they're the zeros right? I think these are the.5. Oh my god. Look at you. Flirting with. Oh Jesus. Dipping your toes in the devil's mouth. The oblivion. Excellent. And Jace you're sober too. Yeah I haven't drank

for like a year and a half but I wasn't crazy like Ben. I just drunk drove a lot. Oh yeah, crazy like Ben. There was a Budweiser Tallboy in my glove box once and I had to talk to God and apologize. Not like us, right? We got it all together. No, I'm fine.

Yeah, we're fine. Get it together. My hand's shaking. I wanted to, right up top, I just read your book and it's one of the best things i've ever read if everybody wants to right there and thank you for giving me the first edition it's a little tattered up it took me a while to read but uh i wanted to go with a different pen name i I wanted to go with Frank M. Dumbass, but they wouldn't do Maz.

I saw that sitting over there, and I was like, what is just another problematic prop in the Ben Avery cadre? I mean, look at this. Oh, my painting of myself? As you, as the Hiroshima dentist who got turned to ash that fateful day. How are you doing yellow face and black and white oh fuck i didn't realize i made myself a japanese guy that you didn't realize i didn't when you ordered hey can you paint me off fiber as a japanese guy is this live by the way uh yeah this is uh this is our uh yeah

this is our producer producer he's running late yeah he's running late. He's running late. He said turn on channel 5. We're working with the Menendez brothers. That's a good get. They do good production work. You know what you should do? Get them over here and take care of the neighbors. Oh God, these people.

You probably can't hear it, but we have been as neighbors who they're Hasidic people who do karaoke every night. I thought it was illegal to sing after dark. It should be. In their religion. Yeah, yeah. No, they're all stomping on chickpeas right now and making hummus. Baba and the ganushas are over there.

It's like the I Love Lucy episode, except grapes and garbanzo beans. Dude, imagine squishing garbanzo beans between your toes. That'd be fun. It probably feels great. Oh, nice, dude. That's probably honestly how they do it. Yeah. Just loads of hair loaded into it.

Yeah. Their little like hobbit feet. Can I do a plug for your book real quick up top, Sam? Oh, enough. Yeah, let's be sincere on the dick around and slur podcast. I want to say something nice about you. You're a fantastic writer.

I read this in the span of like a day and a half. Yeah, after lying about having read it for three years. I never told you I read it. I believe him. You kept saying it was a transcendent movement between two covers. I was like, wow, dude. Thank you. I googled famous

authors and i said yeah it reads like hemingway to me yeah yeah secretly gay secrets out boys yeah dump them out devon and a tiny dick they maybe have a little guy they made a documentary about him being a trans guy with a small penis that was the pbs one i think ken burns made it. No, it's Matt Walsh. It's Matt Walsh. Yeah. Yeah. What is a Hemingway? What is a woman in the sea? What is a Hemingway? About 230. Let's have the twig on.

No, but he wrote a letter to F. Scott. Oh, sorry, your book. No, no, no. I was just going to say thank you. That's very kind of you. You're an amazing writer. Thank you. A better friend. I'm very happy to be your...

And Katie says a bestest lover. That's my wife for the listeners at home. For the people just tuning in. It's everybody's wife. He's implying he's having sex with my wife. I didn't say that. Was that what you said? You assume.

Oh, yeah. I like to draw conclusions from... I like to draw you. I'd like to draw and quarter you, honestly. Okay. But you are... You're an amazing writer, and it was a real delight to read your book. And you also

give a tribute to Andrew Polk at the end, which I love. Of course, yeah, like the funniest guy. The guy who brought us together. That's right. Polk did bring us together. You were a Polk guy, right? I love Andrew Polk. Yeah, we were all friends in LA. Didn't he chase you out of a lighthouse with a torch once i deserve that i was being in his words uppity so yeah well you were begging for sanctuary and jace kept saying i'm the keeper of the lighthouse

lighthouse ranch i'm the one who jerks off on the light okay Me and only me. I smear the land. It gives it that certain hue. When I met Ben, he was just like a little like kind of nebbish, nervous, maybe recently sober at that point. I never drank with you. I've been sober for almost six years. You won't shut up about it.

Anyway. It's a real identity. I didn't know we were reading our credits. Until tonight. Yeah. Tank it. But remember we played that like that board game on game on the tv oh what's that called again it was like who can say the most slurs it was effectively how we played it we turned it into yeah yeah you played gay libs yes yes it's some

game where you connect your phone to the tv and then how does the game go i don't know but it built trust immediately because if any of that surfaced you couldn't you you wouldn't you would be bad oh it's it that's that's awful no i mean that that game i believe it's it uh gives you a question and then everybody anonymously says an answer and then your answer pops up on the screen and you have to guess who said what answer which one of the funniest one i know which one's funniest and then but you're also trying to guess who did it too right you don't know who it was pretty easy because of all the r's and the end of the words ben rubbed the end out of his phone that day

i weathered a digital keyboard on my phone it looked like those old like like login for your security like system numbers are like rubbed off so you know what it is it's like the g's on this phone don't work anymore i go to the apple store yeah well you're a typewriter guy so you have to like go to like an old antique shop and be like do you got any in or in our eyes dude you're writing on a typewriter really does piss me off. I write longhand and typewriter. That's the dumbest most antiquated ways to express yourself. I told you it's a

governor because my vehicle goes too fast. You said, hello governor. I'm wasting me time over here. I like to make it hard on me. The sadism gets me off. It's two parts. The boring part and the worst part. I know it's an obnoxious thing but it gets me off. Well, it's two parts. Yeah, the boring part and the worst part. I know it's an obnoxious thing,

but it gets me. Everybody now, they're on a device. They're on a screen. God damn it. Especially kids these days. I mean, you know, they're digitally native, you know. Welcome back to Club Random with Bill Long. Yeah, usually he's on Club Penguin.

I'm going to start doing theard dreyfus thing lean it in the chair falling off did you see that on real time with bill maher no he's so high he does the entire interview like this his ass is fully hanging out and he's talking like this and bill maher never acknowledged bill maher is such a narcissistic asshole he never brings it up no yeah actually we'll pull this up for Sam. The Bill Maher? Yeah. The Bill Maher. What?

Lost in his own shit? He played that N-word game with Ben a few times. Yeah, he set the new record. Yeah. Yeah, it was a high score. Bill Maher nude. Bill Maher how big? Bill Maher Richard Jenny.

Interesting. Oh, look at him. You can just click throughout the episode. Oh, Interesting. Oh, look at him. You can just click throughout the episode. Oh, no. It gets so much more. Is it right here? What the H? Right there.

Look at that. He's not in the chair. Oh, no. He looks like the Don't Smoke Pot commercial where you melt into the couch. he's not in the chair oh no he looks like the don't smoke pot commercial where you melt into the couch he lost his bones I've never been so high I forgot how a chair worked wow

I swear to god he gets lower at some point dude his shirt is tucked in at that angle that's so bad let it breathe oh man this is great too me and Jace just rewatched Jaws last night. That's so bad. Let it breathe. This is great too. Me and Jace just re-watched Jaws last night too. He's so good. That's the great Matt

Hooper. The oceanologist. I'm more of a Stockton Rush guy. Who's Stockton Rush? That guy that killed everybody on the submarine. The yuppie dude. Oh yeah. He had the name of a guy that kills people.

Stockton Rush. Yeah, just in his Patagonia jacket just taking lives I thought that was like a Utah Jazz player or something yeah I know he played with Jerry West but uh Jerry West isn't that a guy yeah from like

late 70s early 80s they didn't watch after they did the whole integration. I stopped watching after the civil rights movement. I thought the NBA stands for... Okay. Okay. All right. Watch out, Dreyfuss.

Ben's the guy at NBA games playing like, you should have seen George Mike and he was strong as oak. You could have moved the underhand shots more consistently. Ben stopped watching when they started dunking. Yeah. Stormed out. I told Devin, though, oh, do you have to go somewhere?

No, I'm trying to, you really have no respect for me and the headphone situation, so I'm just going to slowly work. It's alright, I'm going to slowly work. I don't have headphones. That's true. Because Ben said I'm second class. He said that's Jace's thing. I told Devin, I said, I'd rather than go to the bottom of the ocean in that submarine.

I'd rather go in the mechanical shark from Jaws that kept breaking. I'd rather go to a subway and get a footlong. Sure. Me too. Sure, he says. Sure. Thanks, Devin. Sure. I'd rather go to a subway and get a footlong. Sure, me too. Sure, he says. Sure. Thanks, Devin. Sure? I don't know.

Don't make me feel nude and alone. You have equal chances of dying and exploding. That's true. Yeah, especially when they bring the five for five back. Oh, God, that was the best. Did you hear they imploded? Yes, they imploded. So they didn't even know they died. I heard a new theory that they knew for about 15

minutes that they were pretty much done for. That's kind of awesome. But I heard that they didn't feel like it. Yeah, yeah, they didn't even know they died. I heard a new theory that they knew for about 15 minutes that they were pretty much done for. That's kind of awesome. But I heard that they didn't feel like it. Yeah, yeah, they didn't. Yeah. They just turned into... Kind of like when I squish my balls when I cross my legs. They don't know that's going to hurt. Exactly. Do they have a black box? No, I don't think so. Werner Herzog probably has the audio

somewhere and he won't release it. He calls the black box the VIP section of the Globetrotters game. Can you believe this, Jace? Your brother? I know. I've had a real problem with him for a while now. It's difficult. It's a lot. He was too racist for Texas. We had to leave.

Yeah, you had to ship me. This is like a Pray Away the Gay camp where you send your most racist relative to California. So he's just like, he's also racist, but you know, I'm not moved as far to the right. And that's why your parents sent both of you here, because they couldn't tell which was the gayest one.

Yeah, we always competed for our parents' affection by being gay. Who can glurp the most of dad's hog? Is this the little boy who saw God? Yeah, it's Colton Burpo. Colton Burpo. Yeah, of course and then uh his

father is a todd burpo yeah the ben and his mother is sandra burpo yeah i'm more of a todd burpo guy yeah well the thing is everybody knows about colton burpo but todd's the real mastermind behind the whole thing he's the machiavellian well he's the one spinning the yarn yes he's the man behind the curtain colton is just a mere mask. He's just a little Burpo. The Burpo boy. He riddled the devil and beat God in arm wrestling. He got to come back.

Polk is obsessed with Colton Burpo as well. That's how we kind of became friends. Colton Burpo actually brought me and you together, I guess. You were Burpo posting, as you called it, right? Yes. You were on the Burpo boards. Cosplaying as Colton Burpo. Yes.

I think Andrew was trying for a long time. I think he finally got the handle Colton Burpo. And then I think Elon bought Twitter. I think he threatened Draymond Green. Yes. I think that's what happened, if I remember correctly. He did a big oopsie daisy. Yeah, a real my bad.

What about the guy who doesn't know slang and he's apologizing? My dad. Sure. That's who doesn't know slang and he's apologizing? My dad. Sure. That's what he said. I love Subway. It's even Subway more. Oh, man.

I love Andrew Polk. He actually, you know, this doesn't mean anything, but this was one of the, it's one of the nicest things that he was done for me because I'm so insane. Long time ago, he said he was at a bar. he messaged me at a bar and he said i'm talking to two guys that went to high school with kobe's accuser she's a fucking liar and i'm like oh my god this is the greatest message i've ever gotten yeah i heard that too being from colorado really so i had a friend who went to high school with her and she tried to pull that same shit in high school allegedly oh this is the best news i've ever gotten. Really? Did she do that before Kobe?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that was her junior year, and then Kobe got in her senior year. Right. I knew I was right, even at nine. I was nine years old.

I forced my mom to buy me a free Kobe shirt. It had his mugshot on it. I wore it all the time. She was, like, getting complaints from the school and neighbors. She thought you were begging for a gratis steak from Japan. Mm-hmm. Sure. I was going around just telling people like I was like it was

just anal. Sure. I do remember it's one of my favorite moments when you were Subway 5 for 5 When we were doing do you mind if I tell the story of you at the improv? Yes. That whole black crowd. Yeah. There was a show that was like it was called like explain your search history yeah or explain your internet

or whatever and devon did stand up at the beginning it was all black crowd and devon was like killing and then they brought up a post about you defending kobe yeah and then you went on this like great it was a great rant you're like you're like well you know they found like eight you know different types of com like on her dress yeah i think I said if she had consensual sex with three guys that work at Shakey's, why wouldn't she with Kobe Bryant? I was kind of disappointed in black people that night. I know. What the hell?

How is this not like Emmett Till level? It's racist. Yeah. It's a crazy white lady accusing a brilliant man. I know. You pulled like a reverse Jesse Jackson. Yeah. Yeah. you close by saying I'm with the movement, y'all.

Where my folks at? Devin played Fight the Power and he started doing the Rosie Perez dance. I was like, can't trust it. Well, that's when you were still going by your old stage name. That boy talking, run, go tell him. Yes, that was that. I was inspired by Martin Lawrence. You you're a big gary owen guy

he gets away with it love gary how does he keep getting away with it well he has a black wife who hates him so but they got divorced oh they just does the voice that's bullshit yeah it's crazy i've been on a bunch of gary owen deep dives really nuts what he's gotten away with his wife is banging matt rife now i guess no i No, I'm kidding. I'm just trying to figure out what explains him. Matt Reif is fucking every woman in the universe. Where's my wife? You know what I mean?

There's a clip of Matt Reif saying he hates Atlanta. He always does badly there. And I'm like, well, that's because... This isn't my phone. That's mine. That's Kobe. Yeah, but why is my wife your screen? That's a Subway 5 for 5, man. Hey, knock it off. I must say, guys, I'm a big fan of the pod. I'm really happy for your success.

Thanks, buddy. And Sam's book, of course, is available now. Oh, yeah, samtalent.com. We should have plugged that up, Tom. You know what? Your fans are so inundated with comedy at this point that I'm sure they're, Oh, this fat fucks back to where his weird shorts and talk about his book.

Listen, Hey, you're a guest. I'm the guy on the pod. I got you beat on the wad squad meter. I think I got you laughed. Although I got to tell you, man,

I moved to these shirts and now I don't do the gut pull anymore. It is pretty good. Yeah. You got to go like a big guy. You got to goony soprano mode basically yeah yeah god i wish you gotta sit by the pool stare at birds wear a robe yeah threaten to hit your wife but don't do it you know kill your nephew yeah should have been tony who sat on the dog that would have made a lot more sense yeah that's true yeah because he ate too much pastrami yeah yeah yeah he's just tired he does the itis yeah which is the abbreviated version

of what ben calls it well i'm tired of you i'm tired of people not knowing the truth about you no i have a i have a raging uh i'm a bad i'm a bad guy we just did a patreon episode before that before this and i know you're exhausted. I made a very bad joke. What was it? What'd you do? Don't tell me. You know what?

Listeners, you guys can find out just how problematic Ben Avery is on the Patreon. Yeah, on... Hope they know. That's what they're paying for. Yeah, yeah. The slurs behind the paywall. Yeah.

Yep, that's good. Yep. Andrew Polk one time um our very funny andrew funny he john michael bond was on the road yeah he drove over with some other comic and uh the other comic showed up after driving all the way through the night to get to new orleans they roll up to polk's house and the guy comes in and he's holding like two slices of bread and some cold cuts and he walks in and john michaelucklebaugh is like, hey, Andrew, how you doing? And they greet and they hug.

And then before the guy introduces himself, he's like, hey, you mind if I make a sandwich? And Polk says, I'm going to kill you. I love Polk in public would just someone would be like, what did you just say? And he goes, oh, I'm going to kill the president. He would just walk out of the room. It's a complete stranger.

He's also allergic to bread and water. He can't eat any food. He's pre-chewed. God bless him. He's in the bowels of New Orleans now, I hear. Yeah, he works in the quarter. That's awesome. He has to shoot his way out of work.

It's the best city ever. It's like Bad Lieutenant. Port's awesome. Yeah, it's my favorite to like shoot his way out of work. The best city ever. Yeah, it's like it's like bad lieutenant. Yeah, apparently it's call. Yeah, apparently it's like horrible down there. Now it's now in the top ten murderous cities in North America. It's the only one in the United States. The rest are in Mexico.

Yeah, what are you gonna do? If you're drunk enough, you just kind of end up dodging the bullets by tripping. Yeah, you know, get the second line. Exactly. You just get a run everywhere. You just moveging the bullets by tripping. Yeah. You know, get in the second line. Exactly. You just get to run everywhere. You just move quickly. That's going to happen.

Yeah, but you can't because the heat is so oppressive. That's true. There's a lot of humidity. Oh. Very good. You can see Devin do the PR. Boy, I like that. It's a free one.

Like one of Joe Biden's handlers. Oh, God. Here comes Ben, the merchant of slurs. Oh, man. Oh, God. God damn. I'm so happy Sam's here. I'm happy to be here, man.

This is great. We're going to have a grand old time. Because you're staying in my guest room. We're going to have a lot of fun. Yeah, Katie ate her handful of pills. And she said she's going to have a grand old time because you're staying in my guest room. We're going to have a lot of fun. Yeah, Katie ate her handful of pills and she said she's going to sleep forever. I don't know what that means. Katie locked herself in her cage that she does every night. It's the only way she takes her pills is by the handful.

Well, you had to hide them in that cheese and you said, quit eating so much of it, you're getting fat. I was like, come on, man. She's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun that you made us watch you shoot golf balls for an hour and a half before we were allowed on your pod it's insane i make anybody that's a guest on the show i make uh they have to watch me

chip and putt in the back yeah you have to watch you chip and putt and also eat a horrible homemade moon pie you made i knew you didn't. Me and Jace ate half of one. We're immense. Yeah, which really is not a great sign. To be fair, Devin couldn't pick it up because it was so dense. It was my first time making for everybody who's listening at home. I made Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies.

Only at home though if you're at work. Pause it. Skip ahead 30 seconds. I'm assuming people can only listen to this in the privacy of their own home. Unless they work at like, I don't know, like the morgue or something. Breitbart? Sure. Nazi Germany.

You say Nazi Germany? Yeah. If you're a time traveler. I'm saying this show is so problematic, Hitler can hear it in his head. In the past. Guarding the camps is so problematic, Hitler can hear it in his head. In the past. Guarding the camps is so tedious. Guarding the camps would have been boring. It would have been really boring.

Take it to the monotony. Yeah, it's like, hey, I thought you guys were supposed to be funny. Do some bits. Complain! A little slapstick, yeah. I think it's hot in here. Anyone else? Yeah, little Roman Polanski's there fucking all the kids.

Yeah. Little Roman. That's little Roman. Add it again. Yeah. That's, that's why your neighbors sing to, to more.

Well, yeah, they're doing a Israeli karaoke right now. It's amazing. I wish they would do some covers though. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

But what are you going to, they're not even doing like mod is yahoo or anything like that it's it's it's a lot of it sounds kind of like a ghost that doesn't know he's a ghost yet yeah just sort of outside like trying to figure everything out like a palestinian sure no anti-israel stuff on this no no i'm sorry i love it we're very pro-israel yeah i'm so progressive i don't admit that Israel or Palestine exists. You like bomb them both? Yeah, yeah.

Hey, pave the whole thing. Put in a fucking Ikea. I'm a pro-Israel guy just because Quentin Tarantino lives there now. He lives in Tel Aviv. Does he? Yeah. No. You saw one of his movies and he was in it on the tv and he said how did he get in

the television yeah because you're stupid he's so little now yeah yeah he uh i'm not in frame are you not are you sure i don't want to be uh yeah i'm kidding i don't know oh yeah he might not be i don't know actually jace can you tell? Yeah, let me. I can't. Crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. Sam, can you wave your arm for a second? Oh, yeah. I would move forward, like lean forward just a little bit. I can be right here. Yeah.

Hey, guys. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, that's great. You don't want to crush the dog. Unfortunately, this is the biggest room I could find. Yeah. Yeah, your mansion? Yeah.

Yeah. This is the first podcast where the four collapses midway through that'd be huge yes you figure out the headphone thing yeah finally i decided to strike when you guys were worried about the camera yeah that's we're good god these jews are annoying okay i will say this someone someone asked me on one of the live streams we did, if you had to drop a nuke on any city in the world, where would you drop it? Springfield, Missouri.

Really? Oh, easy. Because of The Simpsons? No, no, no. Just because I've worked there so much, and I never have a good time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, God bless.

I've never been, but... You're not missing out. They invented cashew chicken there, which went on to become the chicken nugget. Really? Remember that cake that Jace had for his 16th birthday? Oops, all nugs. And then you were like,

oh, I tried to type this out, but my autocorrect changed it to a different word. Goddamn, you stopped going through my diary, damn it. Oh, dearest Ben in the future, when you read this, your humble past will be laying forth in front of you. He won't share any of his writings with me. He'll just keep bragging about putting up 7,000 words a day.

Do you want, do you actually, I thought that'd be annoying. Well, he's putting up one word 7,000 times a day. It's like the scene in The Shining where Shelley Duvall's reading the book, but you know, you get the rest of the book. He refuses to email it to you too. It's going to be through Telegram or Stagecoach

or whatever new hipster bullshit he's doing. Right. You're going to see a pigeon in the distance drop a book at your feet. I can't wait. I can't wait for that pigeon to show up with your slurs abound. I have a typewriter, but I've removed all the keys except for five. That's good.

That works. I counted as you guys were riffing i was like one yeah two i'm like that one's twice so but only count it once oh i thought you were just having one of your moments wait what did i say you know where you just like start rocking yeah yeah yeah one of your moments you know when he goes into his fit it's like he's the mom in Requiem for a Dream dude that's a book you should read

cause you know the mom in that movie is like kind of a secondary and she's like not as jarring and fucked up as the rest of the characters I'm thinking thin

right but in that book she is the most she's the worst it's so bleak and scary I feel like that comes through in the film

I was thinking about that literally today where I'm like she's the most fucked up one. This is where you copy the thing I just said and act like you thought of it earlier. God. How do you guys still put up with that? I don't know, man.

No, I'm kidding, Ben. I'm sure you did have an original thought. Shouldn't have given me that espresso. Makes me nasty. The coffee makes you old donnie rickles over here nasty dirty sam over here yeah dirty sand yeah but his uh his book is available it's running the light it's at stores everywhere ben really respects it he has a beer on it it's a non-alcoholic beer they don't condensate the way regular beers do and you got one of the

old ones this is how much i cared about you. I sent it to you probably May of 2020. Yeah, and you just collected dust. Signed it and it's a first edition. And you're bending the shit out of the cover. That's good. My first book. It was the Turner Diaries. Oh, man.

But SamTalent.com for the novel. Thanks for having me on guys yeah Jesus Christ wow I want people to buy your book it's great I appreciate that

thank you very much but also you're going on the you don't have an apartment anymore I don't know I had a house you're nomadic you're living like the Cherokee

I'm like a Bedouin you're like the Comanche I am yeah hungry for scalp they ate them that's hard coin. They didn't eat the scalps. What else were they doing with them? They made frisbees for a while.

Then they did. They played that fun game. Is it my head? Is it a wig? That kept them busy on the plane. Bob Saget hosted that show. That's right. Only one G in that one, Ben. Boom! Fuck you!

It's so fun to be made fun of by Sam. It's like this giant teddy bear just saying awful things about you. But by the end of the podcast, he's just choking you with two hands. Yeah, and then Devin takes me out by the river and I get to pet one rabbit one more time. And you take that gun.

I have the nine iron in my hand. Yeah. I raise it up high. I got nine inches in my hand. I'm saying, who's hungry? That's such a horrifying visual. Have you ever said that to a woman? Who's hungry?

Have you said that to a woman before? Like in jest? Not to a woman, a couple girls. Oh, wow. No matter. A couple of gals, you know? Have you said that to a woman before? Like in jest? Not to a woman, a couple girls. Oh, wow. That's a bad lady. A couple gals, you know? You pull your dick out and you go, here comes the choo-choo train.

Yeah. All aboard. Hope you didn't have breakfast. By the way, Sam. Dessert before dinner. That's what I said. There's a gun for you. Thank you. It's pretty nice, right?

Pretty fun. Good night, sweet prince. Wait, what? This thing? You didn't know if it was a loaded gun, by the way. Yeah. That would be great if we hand you a loaded gun in the pockets and you kill yourself accidentally. That'd be big. Yeah.

That'd be big for numbers. That'd be big time. This thing feels good. Imagine putting it inside of someone. I have a... Like shooting them or penetrating them. Think about that. Just think about it for a while. I have a shooting penetrating think about that just think about it for a while i have a friend who did a lot of meth and he uh was jace lost all the weight yeah that's right uh fucking he used to do a lot of meth and uh he was fucking a lady because when you do math you like you fuck baby is that whose Whose baby is it?

When you do meth, I think often there's menage a trois. Huh? Sort of a... Huh? Menage a... You mean a three-way? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. What'd I say?

When you do meth, people want to have threesomes? No, you feel like when you're doing nefarious drugs, like you go in, you smoke meth, and the guy goes, hey, you can fuck my wife, by the way, because we're all we're all high on math right yeah you know the it's not like we draw the line anywhere you only exist because i see you yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah so this guy was like fucking this and he was like oh you don't want to uh he's like i don't know if i feel comfortable with that and he did later fucker but he's like hey look at this and then he showed him a picture and it was a uh he'd stuck a loaded loaded gun up her pussy and took a picture of it. Wow.

From the back with a gun in her pussy. This is what you've been writing about? Yeah. Please don't send it to me. I'm going to mail you my manuscript that is in longhand and everything. You can mail it to me as long as you don't woman it to me, right? Oh, exactly. Sure. Yeah, sure.

I've never... I was involved in a three-way once with two women and it was over almost immediately. Oh, really? And I had to passive-aggressively finger them. Oh, man, that's the worst. That sucks. They were both kneeling and one of them looked up but she was holding my erect phallus

and she said you better enjoy this because stuff like this doesn't happen all the time and then as soon as it went into the other girl's mouth I came

like right away you know and then I just had to like lay on the futon and like oh man yeah yeah you said you did it

a second time though right no no a one threesome and then that just to like try and like because I'm down I'm trying I'll get hard again don't worry it's a lie Oh, man. Yeah, yeah. You said you did it a second time, though, right? No, no. Oh, you did a one threesome? And then that just to like try and like, yeah, because I'm down trying. I'll get hard again. Don't worry. It's a lie.

Yeah, you're like, I just need some nuts. Yeah, exactly. Maybe an almond. Yeah. No one's ever been hard twice in one 24-hour period. That's bullshit. One of my sisyphus. Did you go, I'm sorry. Yeah.

I made a mess. I said she looked hungry. I thought you were hungry I did baby voice That's worse than putting a gun inside of a woman Are you hungry? I made I made

I had one opportunity For a threesome with two women And it was I got long COVID during COVID And it was like three months I remember that Yeah and it was, I got long COVID during COVID and it was like three months in. I remember that. Yeah.

It was like three months into long COVID and like some lady hit me up. I was like, oh, you fucking, you can fuck both of us. And I went over there and I couldn't really like stand or walk. Yeah. So I just kind of like shimmied into her apartment. A rascal scooter. You were wearing a little flat cap like Don De La. I had two canes like the straight story.

Yeah. You were wearing a little flat cap like Don DeLaurent. I had two canes, like the straight story. Yeah. A cowboy hat. You were Walt Jr.? Yeah. I'm here to get pookie. Yeah. I'm putting pancakes on her twat. Yeah.

I'm eating them. And no, we were just hanging out and drinking a beer. And then it was so exhausting getting there. I was like, man, there's no way I can get like an erection. Cause I like, I can't even like breathe. Yeah. And I go in the bathroom and I start jerking off. And like after five minutes, I'm like, well, this is the smallest, my dick, the limpest

my dick has ever been. And I used to be like, I had to be like, you know what? I'm not really feeling it tonight. And then I just had to leave. You had to salute both of them. Yeah. I got another threesome. Yeah. Two hotter chicks just told me they wanted to fuck me so i gotta get the hell out of here yeah they like the cane

yeah no i was literally like i was like you have a good night have fun fucking each other i'm gonna go drive home and lay in bed for another three months before i can like literally like walk around yeah yeah it was brutal yeah did you just like walk out of the bathroom and say you know what later or no i walked out of the situation i walked out of the bathroom i was like i think i was like literally like it's getting like you know what i'm just gonna get out of here and they both they like looked at me like what the hell and then they i hope it gave them like a horrific complex that they're like we were they're like we were bored and we were gonna fuck this guy and he didn't want to when he got here. I've thought that when I like have had issues with getting hard and there's like something

before my wife, obviously. Sure. Of course. Like nubile young thing laying there. Yeah. You're like trying to get hard. And then they're like, wait, what's this guy's the worst. This guy's disgusting.

Why couldn't he get hard for me? I'm so hungry. Yeah, exactly. Ooh, I've been fasting all day. You can't get hard. you go, somebody's shy. Uh-oh, is he going to see his shadow? Is he coming out? It's going to be two more weeks of cock.

It's always funny because the woman gets in your head and you're just like, I ate too many pancakes today. It's like, I'm horribly unhealthy. I'm sorry. And also, jacking off, it's going to be way better than this. So I, I just make them feel like shit. I got some cellulite. I'm out.

Yeah. You saw one dimple. I see one. I go, I don't know. You got a weird mole. I did not see it at the bar. Yeah, I didn't sign up for this. I didn't sign up.

Is that hair lip surgery you thought was passing? No, no. No, no, no, no. Here in a different light. Uh-huh. You know. We're not under the neon anymore, sweetheart. No, no. Here in a different light. We're not under the neon anymore, sweetheart. Yeah, honey, you're not dancing in that tawdry carpet no more.

Now we're fucking under these bright fluorescent lights in your home that we can't turn off. Have you seen that subreddit True Rape Me? No. True Rape Me? No, True Rape Me. No, no no no no

that's for the patreon that is a subreddit i start talking like warren that's for the patreon um but no it's it's called true rape me and it's i've been obsessed with it because it's women it's like the hottest woman you've ever seen she like uploads a photo of her you're like this is a model like this i wouldn't even look at this woman she's so beautiful and then every comment is like they're like five four point nine and then somebody will be like seven and then the the model be like banned for overrating and they're you're kicked out of the side they're all mark zuckerberg all 10 000 comments i've been going through it every day.

I'm just obsessed with it. Yeah. You know, whatever keeps you busy, buddy. I'm happy about that. It's part of his morning routine. I just love it when women feel bad.

So, yeah, of course. Yeah, we get it. We get it. Hey, we're all podcasters here.

As you do. I remember meeting your wife. Are you guys married? No. Okay. Practically. That slam piece, as you introduced her. Your lovely lady.

She was radiant. Yeah, yeah. It was also New York. I was like, wow, it's so pretty. Right, right. Yeah, I think she's hot. Yeah, she is hot. Then that baseball player tried to get in her guts.

That's right, yeah. I don't think we should say his name, but yeah, he was interesting. He did not like the area. That was David Wells. Yeah. It was John Rocker. John Rocker when he's about to have sex,

he sprints at the woman. Yeah. Like the Terminator. That was an interesting night. I was like, I think I might end up fucking Sam tonight and he can just have my girlfriend. I would have, I think I might end up fucking Sam tonight. And he can just have my girlfriend. I would have been there for you in that moment.

Thanks, man. Thank you. You know what, Devin? I am, in fact, honky. Did you guys bump into Conor McGregor once? Can you talk about that? Yeah. Yeah. He, um, he, it was crazy.

His foot was like backwards. I thought he had a baby. He was in a, his foot was in a stroller out front of the Beverly Hills Hotel and he was rocking it. I turned and I thought he was with a kid and then it was his foot. Then he immediately got up and definitely wanted to fuck Ida. Kept asking what room we were in. Wanted to smoke weed with us.

He's awesome. Then the head of the commission for the UFC, the guy that suspends people or whatever, Hunter something. Hunter Helmsley. Yeah. That guy walks up. Connor has to have a moment with him where he's like, oh, hey. And Hunter's like,

how you doing, Connor? Nice to see you. The guy walks away, walks inside the lobby, and then he's waving at us through the window, and Connor's smiling. He goes, I hate that motherfucker, that cocksucking piece of shit. Just starts railing on this guy and we're all smiling and looking at him. I love when Cotter does photo

shoots of him just smoking a blunt in his Escalade. Yeah. He's every angle. He looks so cool. He's very cool. He also had like a half chub the whole, like he's always chubbed up. Whoa. His dick is showing in the picture. Like it's just showing through the sweatpants. Huge cock. Oh, it's

giant. He's Irish though. Yeah, I don't know. He probably injects it with shit. They call it the Irish curse, right? Yeah. Yeah, no meat, all potatoes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's the saying. Oh, I didn't know. And now you guys say stuff. We're all like a thought bubble over our head and we go, but how could Jace know that?

Wait, hold on. I fucked a lot of Irish guys. That was actually the three way I had to leave was two leprechauns. Because you ate all their lucky charms. I tried to fuck them with a potato and then I got out of there. Imagine banging a really small person. For you and I?

I've done it before. It's very difficult. I'm talking like two and a half feet tall. Like a dwarf? Yeah, and I repeat my statement. What? You plugged a tiny? Whoa. No, no, no, no, no.

No, I think I like fucked like a five foot person before. That's very short, yeah. Because you guys are like each other's sweetest taboo. Yeah. Yeah, little ladies like to get fucking hauled by the bear pig. Yeah. Yeah. Little ladies like to get adult and child by the bear pig. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. Two and a half. Yeah. Yeah. Like a little person like banging like Hasbulla. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you seen the have you seen the Vern Troyer sex tape before? Of course. Yeah. I have the internet. Yeah. We have that out west.

Not to brag. Yeah. You would tattoo him. You're like, let me show you my wallet. If I could take this shirt off, if it wasn't stuck to me, like baklava wrapping, I would show it to you. Vern Troyer, is he just doing this the whole time?

With his fist? He's putting his arm all the way up her pussy? You would think that, but no. Is that not what it is? He's fucking her, but it looks like a baby fucking a grown woman it's insane yeah dude it's insane it's crazy dude he's all bald and just that's great so if you're if you're famous but you're a baby you can still get like pussy oh for sure awesome that's what killed the no never mind right killed the radio star i'm sure haspel is getting sucked off.

Women just probably pick him up like a watermelon and suck him off. Is he religious? No, he's super religious. He's one of those countries where women can't dance but men can if they're spinning. One of those countries where you can put their dancing to rave music and it looks cool.

Yes. I didn't know he was a really religious guy. Yeah that's why uh habib got that's why they all got so crazy about um what connor was saying because they were like it's against our like he's like disrespecting our religion now yeah yeah so it's muhammad what is it yeah it's a goat or something. It's a Satanist. Muhammad is the goat. He is the goat. Gayest of all time. Yep. I can't believe he doesn't get pussy.

Muhammad? No, Hasbulla. He's like the most famous guy on the planet. What a waste of being viral. He could crawl inside of someone. His whole body. He could tell his family he's like living in a new cave and just like live in the post here he lives in a pelican's beak and flies around the world he's got he's got a penthouse cave it's the highest cave on the mountain it's a post office

box a new cave right yeah yes all his relatives thinks he's snooty. Yeah. He's an uppity guy. He'd be the best. By the way, if he took uppity fella, if he took

Bin Laden's place, he would be, I mean, because it took us like 20 years to find Bin Laden. This guy is so small he can hide in,

you know, overhead compartments and shit. He can hide in drawers. We'd never find him if he was a mastermind terrorist. It would have to be him and two of his friends stacked up wearing one of those robes.

Little rascals. Yeah, exactly. They're sneaking into the mosque. They would have buried him at sea and just like a little fish comes up and eats him. Like a copy. And then a carp eats that one. And then a shark eats that one. Yeah.

New drawing. Hey. That's right. New drawing. Hey, there we go. Hey. I used to draw. No longer drawing. You still draw? A little bit. I haven't been doing it too much.

I don't draw. You can see me at the Bray Improv, if you know what I mean. It's a big room. It is a very big room. It's really big. It's like 700 people or something 700 people why would they have me in there it's insane i've got like 200 tickets sold make it 201 i'll be there you can't come what i don't want you there okay yeah i was gonna sit way in the back and and yell and yell things

to try to disrupt the show light a cigar in the the back. I was going to go in and just tackle you on stage. That'd be great. I was going to run down the aisle and scream. Ben's developing a Cape Fear relationship with you. He's going to be tied under your rental car on the way to Brea. Oh yeah, please. I'll tie you up myself.

Remember when you went through your cigar phase where you're like, I'm a cigar guy. I want to smoke cigars. I go through... Remember how Hank gets obsessed with minerals in Breaking Bad? I thought you were going to say Hank Hill, and I was going to be interested. But we can do this, too.

Okay. Yeah. Did you ever see Breaking Bad? No. Really? Of course I did. Play along, Devin. Of course he did.

Yeah, I saw it. Remember my Walt Jr. joke from earlier? Oh, that's right. play along Devin of course he did yeah it's alright remember my Walt Jr. joke from earlier oh that's right he literally broke the room in half stupid but I do that

like I got obsessed with birding for like two months I know you did I think I'm in a am I in a limbo right now or am I obsessed with something

you have autism wait what sorry oh I was saying you have autism oh okay thank you very much okay yeah yeah I guess I just have autism oh yeah thank you very much okay yeah yeah I guess I just have autism

you have a very inquisitive mind and you just you know you like to do stuff I guess I got super obsessed with young for like a month and a half and I was reading a young tale baby hole as you kept calling it yeah

pod to pun time hole as you kept calling it. Yeah. We're going to change this pod to pun time. Well, hey, I've already done three and a half hours. I'm just trying to keep up. I had espresso at 830. You did. Not bad. That's true.

You've done like nine podcasts today. That's right. Yeah, you did. Yeah. We're just the last one on the old tour there. Yeah, but this one is so fun. I've had this one circled on the calendar. I was like, I don't want to blow it.

I want to impress Devin. I want to trick Ben into thinking I'm Jace. We were going to do a whole hat switch situation. We thought it might send you into one of your death spirals. Death spirals. I look out the window tonight. Your dog's hitting the golf balls and you're retrieving them. I've got three legs.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like a lost highway situation. I wake up in like prison. I don't know who I have anymore. I just switch places with someone else completely live a totally different life. Finally, not enough podcasts. Talk about lost highway.

Oh, one of the greatest films ever made. All right. What? Also, one of the greatest films ever made. Alright. What? Also, it's the only... Call the cops. It's happening again. Right. You've seen Lost Highway. Of course. You've seen all of Lynch's work, I assume.

No, I have not. I'm not very well-versed in Lynch, actually. I didn't watch Twin Peaks. Oh, that's fine. I've seen like Get Rid of the Pencil Head. Oh, yeah. Er didn't watch Twin Peaks. Oh, that's fine. I've seen Get Rid of the Pencil Head. Oh, yeah. Eraserhead. Why were you stumbling for it? It's right there. I was doing a bit stupid.

It's literally right in front of me. What are you, like a comedian or something? I'm a regular Richard Dreyfuss. Ben likes David Lynch just because of the last name. It's good. Jace from Clowntown. Sam Talon, his book is running the light. It's available everywhere.

Well, I can just hear them, their keyboards right now and be like, we know about the book. We know about the book. You fat carny. They call me a carny now. Do they really? Yeah, because they think I'm obsessed with selling merch. And I just wrote something I'm incredibly proud of and I'd like people to read.

He's a seller. You're easy to spread about. Get him, Doug. That's what he says. It's so easy. I thought it was going to be way easier, easy to straight up. Get him, Doug. That's what he says. It's so easy. I thought it was going to be way easier, I'll be honest. You wrote one in like an hour and a half. You did.

You were like, you hit me up in the morning. You're like, I think I'm going to start writing. Then at noon, you're like, I finished it. Yeah, 90,000 words right here. Is it that thing you were telling me about? Your initial plan? Yes, yeah, the initial one. Let me read the book, man.

I'm not done with that one. Let me read the book, man. I think the second one's better. You wrote a whole book before you wrote this one. Hey, man, let me read that book. Okay, well, since you're adopting this affectation, that's fine. Adoption? They won't let me have the baby. Okay. Okay.

It is funny you going on like a podcast circuits like promote your book and you like you go on rogan you talk right out of the gate you started talking like that right ain't no woke agenda honey child They're making the kids trans, baby. You're doing Mulvaney, got another thing coming. Motherfucker shit. You start singing Oh Happy Day. It is what you've done like nine podcasts about like how you got started in comedy. And then you come to Slur Town.

Dude, I'm so excited. I'm a fan. You know what's funny sam what is uh uh i wonder if you could have had an accent like that and walked into rogan but you have to do it from the time you meet him and then he just thinks that's actually actually you and wonder if you could stay in it for three hours i could do that except for three you could stay in the pocket with that for three hours not rolling that's how i'm talking i'm in this big old head of mine he thought you were Punky Johnson.

He did, yeah. You got a Bud Light back there? He thought I was Punky Brewster. So you cut your tits off? What's going on? You had big, fake, big, huge tits. Yeah, yeah.

You were a child star then you got huge tits. So you're like a Soleil Moon guy? Is that what's going on? Are you trans? Are you trans? Are you trans? Am I trans?

Are you telling me that I'm trans? Because you're here on my podcast. Are you trans into me? Huh? Are you trans are you am i trans are you telling me that i'm trans because you're here on my podcast are you trans into me huh are you trans in me you gotta tell me i know the law by the way everyone's dying to know i'm not gonna ask you where you get your ideas from obviously everyone's dying to know where you get that blood meridian hat oh so i've had so many people ask me some guy sent sent it to me. Man, did he make that himself? Because he found me on Reddit and then he was like, hey, I made this hat.

What do you I can get you one, I think. How did you know you love Blood Meridian so much? Because I was active in the Cormac McCarthy subreddit. Yeah. Yeah. I was actually a very good sub. Yeah. And then he was like, aren't you that trans comic from the Joe Rogaine experience?

And I was like, me? A comedian? Me. Eh? Meat. Meat. the joe rogan experience and i was like me a comedian me meat meat i just remember i used to i thought you might be ben's brother yeah you raised your hand oh yeah i can get you one of those hats man cool yeah I would love

one of those hats I love an outer dark hat that's my favorite book by him that's insane that you think that's your favorite book by him

no dude it's so good that's crazy I'm not the only one that thinks that what I have to say either Sutri or Blood Meridian it's you and the guy you see in the mirror

when you talk about this outer dark he comes into his own it's raw it's legend as you said it's raw it's it's as you said it's Flannery O'Connor meets

wake me up when he's gone it's the airplane gif where he's telling his story and it zooms out and then the guy's hanging from I'm gonna go full Dreyfus

that's fun yeah it's fine you don't respect my obviously Blood meridian is the best the best book but uh and then suture is like the second best i just want to have a conversation that the other two people on the podcast can join in on that's all they call me being considerate i'm sorry devin hasn't read cormac no jace jace i like holes that's the ya for me yeah i love that no i did it was funny i did give ben um uh uh i

read a little karma but i gave ben gilead by marilyn robson for his birthday and uh i was just trying to get him to read like a female person and then he was like it's so sweet and i just i hate it it's so emotional yeah i agree with that kind of shit man i need bleak i need low stakes i need i need high stakes for low reward is what i need in a novel yeah i need it it's so loud i mean it's crazy it's a lot of that guys you want to sing or you want to dance i need it to be about life and death though yeah and then jace gives me this book where a guy's like, oh, I'm in a hospital bed, and sweetie, I love you so much,

and you're going to learn and grow so much that brothers and sisters are having sex with each other. I know. There's no infanticide. What book is it? Cormac wrote a book. Is that The Diving Bell and the Butterfly? No, it's called Gilead.

It's by a different writer. It's a sweet book written by a lady. Gilead and Keeves, you might have heard of it. They're good. He lives in my neighborhood. Keeves? Keeves, yeah. Keeves is out here? I think. He might have left. Hey, direct my special, you son of a bitch.

Oh, Gilead. I think I was doing the fucking Key and Peele. Never mind. I think that's where they got the name from, though. You live in Compton? No! They're like white at this point. I think one of them's Indian. Keegan-Michael

Key, like I've seen him walk his dog around. Yeah, there you go. Boy, what an odd podcast. By the way, I thought it was going well. It is. We haven't started recording devin lives next to tuco yeah raymond chris oh yeah yeah man yeah he's awesome sam he's working on his like old car and uh you see that and then you see john c reilly playing a trumpet he left

a long time ago oh did he yeah yeah he got tired of flipping off all the kids. As soon as I had to quit doing yoga in the window, he moved out. John C. Reilly got in a hot air balloon and rode away. He's always dressing like a carnival bar. Yeah, he's wearing one of those hats that he punches a hole in whenever he's upset. He is a whimsical man.

I hope I never get whimsical. Yeah, that's very bad look yeah it's a bad crisis to be in especially for like a big chode yeah it's tough yeah you don't ever want to become a because wasn't he in that movie uh laurel and hardy yeah yeah was steve uh coogan yeah yeah yeah he played uh you know hardy obviously right right yeah he played the piano that they carry up the stairs he was the ampersand yeah that movie was bad i saw it with my mom she was pissed i love seeing uh sorry for your loss by the way we found her and we and we put her down yeah your mom was like

p22 the mountain lion out here yes I don't know if you know how to do that but you got like hit by a car right

yeah and then LA like made an announcement like good news we brought p22 to the hospital and then like 40 minutes later

they're like and we put him down there it's a tweet thread it's the next tweet it's like it's like literally a response

yeah everyone's like oh this is what Banana Republic said about my mom in the email. We thought she was in the changing room for a long time. She's trying to fuck all those

bananas. That's right. She got hit by a car in there. It's an RC car. Her heart exploded. I love that we're doing ads for Bill Maher sponsors. Everyone check out SignalWire.com slash random backslashwire.com slash random. Backslash random.

Support good art. I did show Ida the Richard Dreyfuss. We had a barbecue last week. I showed her the Richard Dreyfuss thing. She almost fell in the pool, like collapsing. Just from laughing so hard. You can't believe it's real when you see it. Why won't he adjust?

It's just so funny to scroll 20 minutes and he's in a new, incredible, fucked up position. Yeah. You skip forward 20 minutes and he's in the family guy, Peter dying pose. On the stairs. I'm eagerly anticipating watching it. That'll be fun.

It's a fun time. I love Bill Martin. He just gets them really high, right? That's the whole thing. I guess unless he just sits like that when he's relaxing. Yeah, maybe. I do fucked up shit like that sometimes. I mean, imagine me really comfortable around someone.

Things can get weird. I think I've seen, I feel like you're comfortable around me. Yeah, I am. Remember when we found that billabong and we went and put our bodies in it? And we were like, this is the greatest thing ever. Yes, absolutely. That was awesome. Dude. What about that fruit yeah me and sam i found a fruit called uh soursop soursop right which it's

they can't fly it to america because it tastes so bad yeah full of koala eggs yeah it's invasive it's this amazing uh it's like the inside of it's like a bubble gum, like a marshmallow. You break it open. It's so soft they can't ship it. Yeah, dude. It was nuts. I think they can, you can get it canned here. That's it.

I've heard of it here. Yeah. Really? I think so. I've heard of Soursop here. You can't get it. I don't think you can get a whole, there's going to be a 40 comment thread about this. Yeah.

I don't think there's like Soursop trees like on a no i don't farm somewhere yeah you're gonna get a comment from a guy called like the soursop guy yeah just pissed off first off fucking dumbass yeah the inside of it looks like hell raisers face though the way it breaks apart and it's it's it's very pale right and there's like little beads in there and you put it in you chew it like a like it's like bubble gum and it's very sweet. So he had like one little segment and then I just ate the rest of it effectively. I was like, and then we tried to find a car to take us to get more soursop and they wouldn't, they wouldn't let us off the comp. I remember I made you laugh really hard cause I was on the phone.

You go, who was it? Who called? I go, uh, good news. Uh, your mom's alive. I think I remember I said like she came back. She came back from the dead. Yeah. Yeah, man.

God, she. I also got, I got Sam really good once too, where I was in Australia. Oh, did he actually fall for that? Yeah. You're like,

I got him really good. I was like, you got cameras there, there, there. Yeah, Sam's, Sam's weeping. I miss you so much. Yeah yeah you're on our new uh hidden camera show fuck you dumbass i got him real good yeah what was the other time you got another time I got Sam because it's funny Sam has Sam has there's something

about it I have the same way where for some reason if something could just hit you a certain way and you can't stop laughing you get into this weird fit where you're laughing for like two minutes and you just can't stop and it's not like it's you know it's like you saw a guy like you know slip

on a banana pill and his pants came down and his wiener went everywhere and he started peeing on himself. Right. It wasn't something like, it wasn't the funniest thing you could possibly imagine. It wasn't art itself. Yeah. Yeah.

It wasn't the face of comedy personified. Yeah. It wasn't a passage in your book. But I said, uh, I go, Oh look here. Cause the,

the trash, there's three holes in the trash in Australia, and it was recycling, compost. Koalas. Yeah. You shove a hole. A koala-shaped hole. You shove a hole-bearing hole.

After you're done fucking it in Australia, you have to throw it out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think Sam was staring at it because the trash divided into three different things. I go, oh, so here in australia they divide it between your setups punch lines and tags and i think i think i got you so good at the airport that you like couldn't stop laughing and i felt so proud of myself i like i had like extra pep in my step i'm like walking around that was after you tried to beg your way

into the quantus lounge yeah yeah you went up to them and you were like, we're going to go in. And they were like, no, you're not. And you were like, I've got like 5,000 points. And they were like, that's nothing. How is 5,000 is something nothing?

Yeah, they're also like, it's miles. I remember them telling you it's miles. And you were like, well, I've got the points. And we just had to go. You're showing them

your Chipotle app. Yeah. I'm Gac mode verified. I think you're just a bit retarded, mate. You've got a droopsy and you oopsie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm going down there. If you're listening to this and you live in Australia,

I'll be there all of August. Go to samtalent.com. There you go, samtalent.com. You can also find the book Running the Light. Very good book. You know what they're going to find? Your body. Much like my mom's. Just pictures of myent.com. There you go. samtalent.com. You can also find the book Running the Light. Very good book. You know what they're going to find? Your body. Much like my mom's.

Just pictures of my body. Yeah. Yeah. It's tasteful nudes. Soursop man's going to be like, hey, other Jace, you better not come down to Australia, mate. Jace too. I left the plush kangaroo on Sam's bed.

You did. Yeah. Oh, that's very sweet. It's all you can eat. A what? A plush kangaroo. Sam's bed. You did. Oh, that's very sweet. It's all you can eat. A what? A plush kangaroo. I got like a toy. I got a kangaroo.

Like you're like the kid in Bad Santa. You're like Thurman Merman leaving him like gifts. It was Thurman Herman, right? Thurman Herman. In that movie, I couldn't watch the rest of the movie. As soon as they said his name. Also the way he goes, your name's Thurman Merman?

He's just standing there with chocolate all over his fucking face. It's such a fucking funny movie. One of the best comedies ever. When people are pelting him with cans of beans and full sodas as he's walking. Yeah, they're going to call you a faggot. Just whipping fucking rocks at him.

Yeah. It's so funny, dude. His underwear is pulled up to like his tits. Oh, fuck. By the way, that guy grew up to do Bad Santa 2 and he looks still crazy as fuck. Yeah. He didn't grow out of that at all.

He just looks bigger. Yeah, I mean, that would be insane if he looked like a giga Chad as an adult. He still looks really fucked up. Poor kid. When he grew up. He's like 23, I guess,

in Bad Santa 2. Why'd they have to do that? By the way, same haircut. The kid? Yeah. You're really hung up on the kid. I mean, he played his role.

He plays like a retarded child now than a retarded adult. Like, keep him that way. You seem to have wanted like a Brad Pitt to take over. Yeah,

you want to recast it. Timothy Chalamet. I like men who can reinvent themselves, you know? Have another beer, you waste of it. Yeah,

come on. Look at you. Jeez. I like men who are iconoclasts like they say the buddha he continually shatters the image of himself and it's uh recreated again as you're carrying on down the path that yeah you love that yeah you watch muck bangers all day yeah i remember reading that in pretentious retard quarterly. Yeah. I think you got the guest editorial in that. A guy who reads about the Eastern world, but he still has to go,

let me see, never eat sour watermelon. Okay. Eastern, Eastern's over there. Or what if he thinks it's Easter and there's a bunch of like eggs hidden. Yeah, and rabbits.

He goes to China and he's looking for hidden eggs. Far Easter. I would subscribe to a Muckbangers, like a Muckbangers Digest where I'm just flipping through magazines going, oh, Nick Acato did lose some weight. Yeah. Yeah, all the ads in the magazine for you to kill yourself.

That's just a suicide advertisement. That's the suicide pods from like Norway. Yeah. Yeah. You just get it and they burn you alive yeah yeah that's a big new uh part of medicine now that my wife learned about is just killing yourself yeah euthanasia and i was like i've been googling that for years come on two points is two points whether it's a six slam dunk or a 12-foot jumper all right it's legal in canada washington yeah yeah oregon and washington anything colorado too no oh yeah that's pretty tight so you can go and just give people like a debit card and

you fill out a thing and then they kill you i don't think you need a debit card oh it's like a printing a card I don't know why do you say debit card you said your wife is the doctor of death yeah she's not the accountant the doctor of death she's Dr. Jack off Kevorkian yes my beautiful wife angel of mercy

yes I find out I find out by the way this is a crazy thing they can abort babies if you like you find out you have triplets. They go up there and they can abort two of them and save one. Yeah, like it's Captain Phillips, like sniping. Sniping three Ugandan guys at once.

There's just a doctor with a rifle pointed at your wife's pussy. Yeah. Click clicking in the Chris Kyle floor of the clinic. I'm the baby now. Yeah, if you want to practice abortion,

you get yourself a papaya and like a turkey baster and you can like learn how to do it. Oh, because your wife has given abortions, right? Well, let's not go crazy.

This man still has to tour the South, all right? I'm more worried about your fan base. I don't want the members of Kekistan to come after her. She's going to wind up in a river somewhere. Yes, yes.

What? Wow. I'm saying she's being murdered. That's what I'm alluding to. Oh, sorry. What did you think I said? No, yeah. Oh, I'm just going to...

She can't swim. So, yeah, if she's dead in there. Oh, sure. Sure. Jesus Christ. By the way, do you get to choose which one they abort? The one with the biggest tits. The baby with the sweetest honkers.

What if they're all boys? The one with the biggest dick. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, of course. It's natural selection. That's fine. I would love, you know, because they're inventing CRISPR, the thing where you can like alter

your baby's genes. I would love somebody to go in there they're inventing CRISPR, the thing where you can like alter your baby's genes. I would love somebody to go in there in the future and like not, they're just like, just dick to max and change nothing else about my baby. Just that. I just want to see me with a gigantic. Yeah. He slides it on the left.

It says very micro penis on the far right. It says it fucking hurts. Yeah. He slides it all the way down to the right. Too big to get all the way hard. Or it's actually a detriment to his life. It ruins your life.

He's like, nice. It's a medical condition. You're designing your baby with an Xbox controller. It's fucking Madden. You're wearing a headset. You hit a bong and you're like, make him retarded. Give him an only God can judge me tattoo on the right bicep.

A sleeve. Damn, Devin, you're really funny. Everything you've said has been a slam dunk. Thank you, man. Hell yeah. Yeah, I don't know. This guy, though. Well, he just talks a lot.

He's drunk. Hey. She's been looking my calf for like two hours now. Well, she probably had a big day of being terrified yesterday. It was the 4th of July. Yeah, and her birthday at the same time. Oh, yeah, 4th of July. Yesterday, I was at a party full of doctors with my wife,

and one of the dogs was scared because of the uh the fireworks and i said to like three women over the guacamole bowl i was like today's the only day i'm glad my dog's dead like and you know as you guys do you laugh yeah and they were just like what do you mean and then i gotta do the great why would you say that yeah and i was like yeah we put him down last year like oh was he old nice i know was three. We're just kind of over it. And I thought it would save it, you know? No, dude. I just had to like, oh, all right.

See you at the beer pong table with my peeped plate of guacamole. That's for everybody. You got a handful of nacho cheese. Yeah. You guys have a ball cap full. I'll tell you when I've had enough. Yeah, that was a big bomb. Well, I don't blame you, though.

I assume everyone that's about to get fucked up can handle any type of dark joke. If there's a beer pong table, it's like, if I can laugh at my dead dog joke. I know, dude, but it's tough when you're... You go from hanging out with comics and podcasters. Yeah, please don't. Do not associate.

Please don't do stand-up anymore. But still, funny people, I should have said. You hang out with funny people, and then you go hang out with Bingus, Mingus, and Narco. And they got their cold, dead eyes because they haven't been butt-fucked in a while. Sure. Yeah. I'm like us. You don't have these fucking dizzy bitches.

I haven't been spinning around too damn much. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, you riff on your dead dead dog on the fourth of july and they're pissed any of those guys that become because i i'm a very impressionable young man and i do good impressions yeah thank you and i thought that uh i do a great trump i thought that uh uh i was like at one point when i was like 17 or maybe 15 i was like oh i'm gonna be uh i'm gonna become a doctor because I like the show House so what I started doing because I thought this was being a doctor

I bought a cane at a drug store and I started walking around with a limp for maybe 5 months and people told me I went to school like this and I started I think I talked like Dr. House for a while too I think it was like sophomore year of high school.

Just asshole clips to everybody. Acted like I was in a lot of pain with my knee and stuff like probably putting Tic Tacs in a pill bottle and then like school more like prison. If I just limp. If I just play on the piano.

Seems like you've got an acute tummy ache. Chronic ouchy syndrome. I actually kind of, I think I still fucked up my hip from doing that. He fucked up his own hip from doing the show. He did. Yeah.

It started to hurt after a while. I was like, fuck, cause I'm putting on my weight on like one leg. You being a method actor for nothing is very funny. Yes. Yeah. But I pretended to be, I was like, be a doctor because i have this i have this cane it's very cool i mean i was a very you know lost

young man sure yeah i'm still wandering the next year you were patrice the whole school's and what is going on so yeah when i was 19 i had a patrice phase for two months where i started wearing celtic flat bills and i started going i it's like, it's just the thing. I had no friends freshman year of college and for like two months, I pretended I was Patrice. I like had a stool in my room. I would like sit on it when I watched TV.

I mean, it's, it's, it hit the thing like. You should have pretended to be Bobo. And this was at SMU it's similar ACU that's for Abilene Christian yeah I had no friends

for a full year I didn't speak to a single human being it's illegal to be black there so they must have been pissed it's illegal to be in an openly gay relationship there yeah yeah

not illegal but they kick you out expel you if you're gay what if you're just secretly well I'm sorry you can be gay you can't be in a gay relationship.

Yeah. Listen, I don't do stand-up, but I can hang. I get it. Listen, I know about Boston in the 80s. I get stand-up. I hate trans kids. I get stand-up. We love crowd work here. Yeah.

Love a good clip. Yes, sir. Are you serious about being Patrice in college? Yeah. Yeah, dude. I really sucked. Oh, my God. It really sucks bad, man.

Yeah, I was. I was. Dude, I was raised so hyper religious. And I had no idea what was going on. He also had a boss in Celtics. I didn't know how sex worked. I thought babies came out of the butt. No one gave me a sex talk. Well, I think Jace did.

It wasn't a talk. He spins a hands-on learner. Yeah. I molested my brother. Is the joke. Yes! He fucked me in my holes favorite book

this is like the bitches brew of podcasting you just walk in everybody do whatever the hell you want just end on a G yeah instead of abbreviating the word oh lord what was also Ben had a Boston flat brim and a

Lakers flat brim and he would wear them like on alternating depending on what color Patrice jacket I was wearing yeah he gave himself diabetes too it was also nice of you to raise that old black woman's child that was my favorite i uh yeah i had a i had a couple really bad phases like that i'm trying to think if i had it oh my question to you about doctors though did any of them become doctors

just because they really liked gray's Anatomy or like Scrubs? I mean, to a T, they all did love Grey's Anatomy. And a large contingency of them loves Bones as well. Which one's that? It was the hot Deschanel. They're both pretty, but the one with like a woman's body. Zooey Deschanel? No, the other one.

The other one. Yeah. Oh, I thought Zooey was a cute young girl. She is cute. But one has like an actual like like birth giving hips and like a sweet set you know nice like a drawing your brother used to do exactly yeah yeah not for public just for my own right yeah in your files yeah yes i'm like in my house i'm like robert crumb yeah uh-huh you dude you should save your sketchbooks and trade them

for a house in in france well did he do that shit? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. A whole like chateau? I don't know. It's just it's non-stop. Just like specifics. It's like was the door wooden? Yeah. Now crumb, what kind of bread was it? Was it

pastry? He thinks our crumb is retard crumb. Oh, God. Yeah. Robert Crumb moved to France? Weird place for a guy that loved giant women. I know. Well, he was married at this point.

Oh, okay. It was him and his lady moved over there to raise their daughter in France. And he recently finally came back to the States like earlier, like last month. And he drove across the country with his like nephew or something it's his first time being annoying the whole way yeah yeah just sucking ass yeah just sucking ass i remember watching i love his his art listening to him talk i'm like shut the fuck up dude you suck still like kind of talks like a hipster beatnik yeah dude it's like watching like bill hicks like stand up i mean i like it but it's like you know there's a point to be 14 and a point to you know not you know he just you can't

blame him he's just he's just so horny that he can't he can't be a human being barely clinically horny yeah yeah it should be a medical diagnosis for how horny that guy is. Yeah, he should be killed like a dog with rabies put down by a deputy. It's the only reason he's an artist at all. He's so horny he has to get his ideas of women out on the page so he can masturbate. I'm assuming he's just

masturbating to these photos. Yeah, probably in his chateau. His poor brother. Yeah, his poor brother all fucked up. Yeah, he had to sneak intoau. His poor brother. Yeah, his poor brother all fucked up. Yeah, he had to sneak into Robert's room and steal his drawings of Jackal. Poor guy. Yeah, poor fucking guy.

Dude, that movie was fucked. I know, it's so crazy. Yeah, my dad showed it to me as a kid because he was like... Why? I literally saw it as a kid too for some fucked up reason. My dad, I think, too.

My first memory that I... My first actual memory is watching that part from Clockwork Orange where they prevent that rape on the theater stage. My dad thought it was a cool fight scene and he wanted me to see it. Wait, he was like, Sam, come in here. Yeah, he was like, I want to show you

this. Yeah. And then the same thing with Crumb. He was like, you'll like this movie. He's a cartoonist because I used to draw. Yeah. That's where I grew out of it. Hey, you like pinball? Death Wish is on. Oh, God. So none of them did be,

people do openly admit, they're like, yeah, I'm a huge Zach Braff fan. That's why I went to med school for nine years. I am curious about that though because that's how my mind works. I like I literally will watch a movie where a guy it's like, oh, he's a guy, you know,

he kills people with a hammer. And like, also, he loves cherry Coke. And then for the next month, I'm like, I also love cherry Coke. Yeah. I remember when you saw Baby's Day out and you crawled everywhere. Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. They all do love. I mean, they all they they always end up talking about Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, I'm serious. Yeah, I'm serious. Wow. I have an anecdote that every like nurse is like basically like the super mean chick in high school just becomes a nurse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they talk on speakerphone on the bus. Yeah, it's crazy. They make like 120 K a year and they still ride the bus. They still ride the bus because they're all pilled up and drunk. Sean Baker's there studying them

for his next movie about a trashy person. All those firefighters banged him out so bad they can't drive. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, nurses. Yeah, but apparently

they were the girls like in high school where they're like, you're fat, you should kill yourself. And then they're like, you know, your grandma lives or dies

based on this person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This person who's like, you know, your grandma lives or dies based on this person. Yeah. Yeah. This person who's like, uh, just going in the bathroom and then getting fucked according to like every porn website I've ever been on. Yeah. A girl who has the graffiti ass on her arm.

Yeah. Girls who were in a shine down. I met the, uh, the janitor from Scrubs once in real life. He's very depressed and absolutely... I'm going to

actually Google him right now, see if he's killed himself. I met Mark Schlereth at the airport today. That's awesome. Yeah, I saw that on Instagram. Yeah, yeah. Stinky. Oh, one of the little rascals? Yep. Yeah. Yeah, it was... Yep. Yes.

I can barely contain myself. I'm so excited that he thought that. Take the reins right now. Yes. Attack me, Sam. No. No, he was an offensive lineman for the Denver Broncos during their Super Bowl years. Oh.

Yeah. And I have his jersey and I've worn it a lot. He used to piss on himself, right? He'd piss. He would shit. He'd throw up. He was a really good analyst, too. Yeah. Yeah. And I have his jersey and I used to piss on himself, right? Piss. He would shit throw up. He was a really good analyst too. Yeah. Yeah. I miss him on TV. I think he's on Fox this year because he like a Fox NFL tag on his bag. Okay, cool. Yeah. Good. He's very nice. And I

shook his hand and I said, I wear your jersey. Handsome man. Beautiful, brilliant. Yeah. Really sane teeth. Really? The fakes, the veneers. They could be. Yeah. If they're fake guess what i don't want to be real everyone's getting those things now yeah i just love those linemen who are they like they were like really fat in the nfl and then one year into retirement they're like the most handsome person you've ever seen about it i know he was wearing like a large t-shirt

today yeah and i'm like dragging my bag sweating you, you know. Right. As a big guy, you're like, you stole two things. I always wanted. Yes. An NFL career and being hot. Having forearms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And he, I was like, thank you. And he was like, what? For what? I'm a Broncos fan. Thank you, sir. Yeah. Schlereth old stink. Number 69, sir. Yeah, Schlereth, old stink. Number 69.

Wow. Oh, hell yeah. Before it was like... A thing. Yeah. Before they made that connection. For some... I wonder who thought that up at the beginning.

Probably a caveman and a chimp. Oh, yeah, probably. Oh, you mean like actually have been at 69? Yeah. I'm sure someone was walking through the Stone Age world, playing the flute on some vulture bone, and then they looked up and they saw two dogs sucking each other off at the same time.

And a light bulb went off over their head. I do know a guy. I forget his name. He was like a cop. The way you were staring at me. What? There's no other way to stare at you. I should be looking at you through a piece of green bubble glass like an eclipse right we should be looking at you in a in a jar we keep you yeah where you have your little boat

looking at just science experiments and we shake you around like throw you against the glass looking at you through a people athole at the end of Paris, Texas. Yeah. Then still doing the sexy dances. You see, that's your son. He goes, actually, I don't want to meet him anymore. Yeah, shit. Fuck, I forgot what I was going to say.

No, it's okay. I don't know. Sam, can you hand me that gun? I'm going to kill all of us. All right, it's what I was going to say. No, it's okay. I don't know. Sam, can you hand me that gun? I'm going to kill all of us. All right, it's what I do best. Everybody get in. I'm going to use one bullet. Everybody, you ever see the house that Jack built?

I'm going to do that thing at the end. You should curve it like Wanted. Remember the movie where they curve the bullet? Oh, where Angelina Jolie had those really sexy back tattoos of like... Yes. Tattoos? Yeah. Of Chinese letters and stuff? She has tattoos of tattoos. I forgot about that.. Of, uh, tattoos. Yeah. Chinese letters and stuff.

Tattoos of tattoos. I forgot about that. Yeah. She had like a flash page. It said $30. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. She had a tattoo that just said a bunch of Chinese letters. Yeah. I miss Mythbusters because at the time, Mythbusters was like, we're going to do an episode today. Cause this, everybody's been wondering,

can you actually curve a bullet around a house? And can you hide in water from a bullet? They did that episode. Which is really interesting because you can't. The bullet breaks up immediately. It does? Yeah. It's every movie you've seen where it's like,

it's not true. Don't those guys hate each other? The Mythbusters guys? Yeah, they don't. One of them died suddenly. It was very tragic. The Chinese guy. They looked into that. He was faking it. Myth busted.

He was just asleep and he smelled funny. He faked his death with the dummy they used on the show. Imagine having that dummy when you were 15. Fuck it all day long. I'd probably be busting more than myths. You know what I'm saying, boys? A slow-mo of your jizz going through the ballistic doll's head.

Yes. That would be nuts. And a guy with a beret coming over and like, well, the dimensions were... Yeah. He had zinc today. The thing about the dick hole the meat is is it makes

it spin as it comes out like an nfl spiral yes yeah they should just bust porn myths that's how they should bring the show back monsters of cock is all the com real right yeah they're like it's actually a camera angle you know most cocks in porn are seven to eight inches. Do they really throw them out of the bus? Or is that for a fact? They weren't stuck at all. No one's related. Dude, Bang Bros.

Oh, the best when I was a kid. Unbelievable. Yeah, Devin was a huge Bang Bros fan. He was a huge fan. We were slinging the passwords around like it was like weed back in middle school. How about this? Let's do this. Favorite porn star.

We'll be specific. Favorite Bang Bros porn star on three. Oh, okay. Ready? You got one? Yeah. Okay. On three.

One, two, three. Gianna Michaels. Asa Akira. Okay. Good one as well. Yours is Gianna Michaels? Of course. That was what I was going to say too.

Oh my God. Love Gianna Michaels. I changed it last was what I was going to say too. Oh my God. Love Gianna Michaels. I changed it last minute. I was going to say her tone. She's the legend. She was the best. She's got spunk. She's got spunk.

She wanted it. Such a great laugh. Right. Oh, I know. She was having fun in there. She was having a lot of fun. The one porn star where you're like, I think she's raping them.

Yeah. She turned the table. It was great. Yeah. It was awesome. There's that one video i know i know we've all seen it um one video where she's like just sucking off like 80 mexican dudes in the house and one guy one guy is like in the back he's wearing like a bandana and a leather jacket

he's like fucking with her and he's like fucking whore bitch like fuck you and then she's like going back at him and then at end, she makes a guy come, and then she just spits it on him. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and the whole, like, all the cholos are, like, going, like, fucking insane. And he, like, walks out of the house. It's great.

That's awesome. Covering some good dude's load. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to close the show. Yeah, go for it. Yeah, yeah.

We've done, like, an hour and a half here. Oh, yeah. Listen to my podcast, Chubby Behemoths. Yeah yeah yeah yeah very similar to this people compare us yeah people uh people come up to you they say we love lemon party and we love chubby behemoth guys that's what they say like my name's jace so yeah i mean in all sincerity ben i love you i've loved you for a long time and i'm so glad we're friends but i'm just so happy for you guys it's oh thank you thank you sam i appreciate that, man. And I am.

I know I did a lot of jokes. I read your book much before Ben, and it was so good, it made me pissed off at you. Thanks, man. And I messaged you, fuck you, because the book was so good. The highest compliment. Your talent is to be envied. Thanks, man. From a great creative, it's very nice to receive.

More like Sam Multitalent. Thank you. Sam hyphenate. Wish it was Sam Hyman, but my uncle took care of that I had a pussy yeah yeah yeah and then patreon.com slash lemon party go join the good folks over there

it's a little 4500 people over there so people are having fun they're having a good time you know it's Good folks over there. Yeah. It's a little, uh, like 4,500 people over there. So people, people are having fun. They're having a good time. Uh, you know, it's, it's,

it's, uh, it's like the, it harkens back to the days of like, you know, girls gone wild type of stuff where you, you want to see what's behind those black bars. Yeah.

You want to see those tits. You want to see those nipples, you know? So you're going to stay up late and you're going to, you're going to join the Patreon. Yeah. Go, go over there and let them show you

where babies feed. You want to see the behind the scenes of the American Apparel photo shoot. What really was going on? Larry Clark deleted scene. We do movies on here. Patreon.com Also, Sam is on tour so go see

uh samtalent.com for his Australia come out uh Boston everywhere

samtalent.com all right thank you everybody bye and we'll see you next week bye bye GONG Thank you.