lemonparty - 039: Sloppenheimer

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

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wrap it up i do hate studios are starting to move movies to next year now as like a they're trying to get us to really get mad at writers right they move dune 2 to next year i'm worried they're going to move the the killers of the flower moon i'm very worried about that but what is the play there what does that help them like i think because stars aren't promoting movies they're like we don't want to take a loss on it and i think also by moving it it makes people more upset at writers and actors okay you know yeah they're really playing hardball that guy that came they're not they're not stopping they're not i heard that this the only the talks will resume in october there's literally there was a top ceo it was leaked where he goes our plan is by october people will start losing

their houses and that's when we'll resume talks wow yeah wow i know i mean true i i hate everybody in in writing and acting as a piece of shit but also these billionaire guys are fucking faggots what a fucking super villain that guy is and they're and they're the guys who really did ruin like everything yeah you know because they're like fucking superhero movies pump them out you know let's fucking gut the indie division you know no it's like the it's like the 08 financial crash but like with with you know

entertainment we're recording by the way oh okay cool oh we are I think that was all good right sure we're pro unions there we're pro union I love a union pro union anti creatives but no seriously fuck SAG fuck all unions don't care at all fuck them I had to We're pro-unions there. We're pro-union. I love a union. Pro-union, anti-creatives. But no, seriously, fuck SAG, fuck all unions. Don't care at all.

Fuck them. I had to pay three grand so I could make fucking 300 bucks one time. I know. Fucking, I hate that place. You did get shook down like you were in The Sopranos. It's unbelievable. They're like, listen, if you want to be in this bad show, you're going to need to pay the man.

So give us $3,000 and then you could make $400. And then you could be on a show that you have is on AutoZone.com. Yeah, you were on shows where you had to tweet like, hey, guys, go to your local library. If you get a card, there's a back next to where they keep the seeds you can check out there's an old fucking uh eight track tape you can listen to my show you know my mom is like how do i watch the tv show you're on i'm like you got to get express vpn you got to move to russia you have to ask edward snowden uh to show you how to stream it yeah no it no, it's... Yeah, your show's on Tidal. It's bad, but also it's just... It's funny, kind of, you know.

Check out podcasts, folks. Those... No union. No union. No David Zavlov in charge of podcasting. Yeah. You should join... I mean, you're a SAG member still.

You should join the strikes, but just, like, negatively. Negative, yeah. You should be the only guy doing a counter-strike. Be like, personally, I'm into this. but you're you're getting in fistfights with like fran crusher i'm not even still a member they like i still owe them like a grand oh really and they hit me up all the time and i'm like well for what why i'm not i'm not auditioning for anything what what what

should i join sag so I could get a DVD copy of Queen and Slim sent to me? What the fuck is Queen and Slim? Whatever. One of those bad movies that came out a few years ago. Yeah.

It's just so people can get DVDs. Yeah. They're like, we'll give you a DVD of Bosch. Yeah. Season five. Exactly.

When you said Queen and Slim, I was like, oh, Grace and Frankie? Is that what he means? I got, I'm missing out on that too. I could have got a box set. You could tell me,

we're at a state with entertainment, you could make up any show and i would believe you that it was a real show the amount of times i see on twitter they're like oh uh frankie and the retard um starring michael douglas is on its 12th season i'm like what yeah i've never heard of this yeah yeah there is that show on on netflix with like alan Michael. The Kaminsky Method? The Kaminsky Method. Wow, I pulled that out of my ass. I don't know how I knew that. Alan Arkin died to get out of doing that show. He goes, fuck this.

I've got to go beat the Grim Reaper. Fuck it. Did Alan Arkin die? Yeah, he died. Who gives a shit? What? Man, no. Like recently or something.

Yeah, like a month ago or something? Yeah, no one cared because everyone on Twitter was mad about, like, you know, Lizzo was trending or something. Oh, right. And no one cared. She stepped on him. The only people memorializing dead... She stepped on him.

The only people memorializing dead people on... Like, for instance, Tony Bennett died on Twitter. Right, right. And I was looking to see if like anybody was sad about it and i was like oh uh james khan's really sad about uh uh really sad about uh tony bennett dying and i was like james khan's dead yeah everyone that would have been sad is dead okay so it's just someone running a dead guy's account yeah it's eulogizing other dead people it's james it's scott khan running james khan's

account he's like on the set of hawaii 50 he's like r.i.p alan r.i.p r.i.p tony i mean tony bennett was the guy i was sad he died because i know um who's the drug addict who really loved him amy winehouse yeah he's a huge fan of his yeah but i was like i was like that guy i you couldn't tell me what he did. You know what I mean? No. It's like music that people listen to at a buffet in Vegas right before they kill themselves. You would just be like, I'm going to sing you a number of my neck jingle.

What did Tony do? It's like, well, he sung the black music for white people in the 50s. We kind of just let him keep doing that. I think Lady Gaga was also trying to use him or something near the end. She did a lot of she did a duets album with Tony and she went on tour with Tony Bennett and he had like late stage Alzheimer's so but he was such he was a

showman. So it's funny they like like there I watched a clip of it because he died and Tony's in a car and they're like okay we're going to Radio City and Tony's like my teeth hurt. I'm scared. I'm cold. I'm cold. And his wife's're like okay we're going to Radio City and Tony's like my teeth hurt I'm scared I'm cold I'm cold and his wife's like okay well we're going we gotta make some money before your brain falls out

Tony Bennett's like it's great to be here at Radio Shack the Staples Center love the Lakers but he's driving and he's like he's literally confused the whole time and then he's in the green room and they're like Tony we're at your show and he's like he's literally confused the whole time and then he's in the green room and they're like tony we're at your show and he's like right right and uh they just they just wheel him out on stage like hannibal lectern they just dump him like getting like a

dolly you move boxes in they just dump him and then it's so it's amazing like what are he's like and then the curtain parts and he's like hey everybody how's it going great to be here yeah and he can't recognize he's a sniper in the balcony pointed at him right they fill him full of that same toxin they give it's like puffer fish venom they give joe biden so he can talk for 45 minutes but no and then he can't remember anybody's name but lady gaga comes out midway through the show and she's like hey tony and she's like, hey, Tony. And he's like, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. I swear to God, that's how he says it.

They sing some stupid... I hate standards so much. They're like, the smoke gets in your eyes. Yeah. And then the curtains close. He's like, I'm covered in shit and gum. And the janitor just comes by and just sweeps him. He sweeps Tony.

He fucking sweeps Tony Bennett out into the New York City street. They lock him back in like a cello case and carry him off stage. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Great to meet you, Michael Imperioli. Yeah, he thinks they're both birds because of their nose. Lady Gaga, did I see you smoking a cigarette in the rain?

The old people, they... I had it when Tony killed you. Choked you right to death. Lady Gaga. The old people, they always... My dad used to say this growing up, and I'm assuming many other people did, where they're like,

I don't understand why you listen to rap music. Anybody can do that. They're just talking. But that's kind of how i feel about crooning where i think anybody can kind of croon because if i'm if i correct me if i'm wrong this is crooning and i'm gonna kill her and bury her in the backyard yeah i'm gonna dig a hole and kick my wife in the hole yeah i'm gonna put a dirt over my wife's head She's screaming. It's it's spoken word for Italian. Yeah, okay. It's like it's spoken word for like Guido Hey everyone here looking great. Aren't you looking great? I'm feeling great It's records you put on to stop Guido's from beating their wives for like 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah puts them in a trance

yeah, you drive through little Italy and you play that over a speaker and they all just like like mars attacks they all just like oh i see like they act like crooning is so hard and then guys are i see the legends on stage crooning with their and they look suave they look really good but they're smoking as they're singing how hard is it if you're dragging a cigarette as they're like exhaling cigarette smoke deep from within their lungs as they're hitting a note? They had like, Frank Sinatra was a good singer

for like eight years and then quickly just, you know, he turned into John Candy and he's just like, I did it my way. Hey. He's just yelling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they would have people like Dean Martin would just be like, when the moon hits your eyes like a big pizza pie. That's literally his biggest song. God damn it. They're doing jokes in the middle of their song.

They were like multifaceted kind of boars. Yeah. And they always have this story. They're like, I sung that song in Chickapee, Kansas one time, and I beat a Chinaman to death. I ripped his giant, and I beat his daughter in front of him until he bled out anyway uh backed over with my car backed over my car anyway the moon in san francisco i got in that old t-bird and i backed up over that chinaman swing it he goes ladies and gentlemen you'd have thought he was driving.

They're very good at snapping. Yeah. They go, hit it. Hit it. Yeah. And there's like a bunch of, towards the end, they're always funny. There was always like 40, 80 year olds who were like, like trying to blow on a trumpet, but they can't do it anymore.

Yeah. Because they had that big band. They just kept with them for 60 years. They're all hawking up like prime rib from 1960. Yeah. It's great. Tony Bennett died and I felt... You might as well have told me that like, I don't know.

You say like, it's gonna get dark tonight. Yeah, yeah. The sun's going down later and I go, okay. Okay. Alright. It's still moving cool 94 years old nobody cares if you're 94 and you die no yeah the the people that milk him though are sad because like britney spears is milking elton john the all the younger people milk the right lady gaga milks tony bennett yeah elton john is is quickly getting to that point because he did

like glass and berry and he's been great. But this is like the first one where I'm like, I can't really move his hips anymore. Like he walks out and he looks like a Mr. Potato Head. Just kind of like like he walks like an Easter Island head where you just rock him back and forth to the piano. Yeah. Yeah.

He kind of looks like Hannah Gadsby. Yeah, he does. He's got those hips. That Russian nesting doll body. That horrific toupee where you're like it doesn't even sit on his head it like floats on his head yeah yeah yeah like an old guy that just plops like a trucker hat on his head but it's his hair instead yeah so what is he what does he do now he comes out it's just it looks like an egg just wearing red sunglasses right

yeah he looks like dr robotnik honestly and he sits at a big gold piano he's like they play the silver ball and that's my impression for everybody that's pretty good though i thought he retired didn't he have like a final show or something yeah they're always doing final shows old queens they they need the attention they keep coming back their tours are always called like the never-ending tour or something like that yeah his last tour he's so he can't move around anymore so they have the piano move around the stage slowly so the whole audience gets like that. So he's in a rascal

scooter that they welded a piano to. He's literally in a piano rascal scooter. His movie sucked. That movie that they made about him. Never even cared to go see it. With Elton Terrigan or whatever. Egg salad McGee. with Elton Tarragon or whatever. Yeah, who I was. You guys think like,

like a cumin or whatever? Egg salad McGee. It was just so bad. The editing like makes you nauseous, that whole movie. If I remember correctly, it was like, that was the time where they're like,

get me a guy who's vaguely Muslim to play Elton John. No, that's Queen. Yeah, you're thinking of Queen. Got it. That's Rami Malek. Got it. But those movies are like,

it is funny, those movies now are like, they're like, what if we took the worst parts of Walk Hard or fucking like I Walk the Line? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like Ray. Let's take the parts that Walk Hard made fun of and let's make that the whole fucking movie. Because the whole movie is literally just him like, he's like, I'm playing the troubadour for the first time. I got to be a rock it man.

And then the song launches. Well, the Elton John movie, the beginning, it just starts with him coming into an alcoholic, like a therapy session, like a group therapy thing. Yeah, it's like an NAA meeting. Yeah, like he just got off stage. He's dressed like a gay fucking lord or something. And then that's where the movie starts it's just everyone's singing

in the therapy it was it was just really bad yeah I just saw the trailer looks like he's just kind of dressed up like a dragon and he's hanging in from wires and he's just sort of flying all over the place even Elton John was like this movie's pretty gay yeah he's like I'm watching this while butt fucking my 30 year old

boyfriend yeah and this is gay he's like listen me and Eminem watched while butt fucking my 30 year old boyfriend yeah and this is gay he's like listen me and eminem watched this last night you don't want to know what we said right eminem was so mad his cock ring spit across the room like a big bow tie yeah started spinning um yeah that movie really that movie is i know we've said this before but it's really like you only watch it on an airplane because you think you're about to die. That's it. I can't take any narrative tension or any suspense because I'm already

convinced this thing's going down. Imagine the sex those guys, like David Bowie and Elton John. Elton John was married to a woman for like five years in the 80s. Doesn't stop a lot of folks. David Bowie's just trying to fuck the moon.

He's like, I want to get sent to space and fuck a galaxy. David Bowie's like fucking in Men in Black. He's in that white room fucking everybody. Oh, I thought you said he was actually... I was like, who's he in Men in Black? No in black no he's fucking was he the voice of the little aliens that made the coffee no that was uh those were guatemalan people those are authentic guatemalan people and not you know joe dimaggio in a room somewhere yeah john dimaggio um but no fucking um

what sorry i was gonna well i was gonna say i just, I had a realization about AI. I have a lot of realizations while we're... Often, I don't talk throughout the week, and I talk to you, too. Sure. And then my brain sort of, it's turning on. We come over, and Katie lifts the blanket over your cage, and then you pierce away. Like a bird. Yeah, like a bird.

That's what you're obsessed with. And I realized that ai just pulls from other shit it's basically like a plagiarism machine which is kind of like what being a really good artist is great artists have said is like kind of taking and mixing and you know synthesizing things but uh if ai is just gonna i don't know if they're gonna be able to replace anything because they're just gonna be like drawing everything from all the bullshit that is being made now. Like they'll plug in the word like Rizzoli and Isles and Bosch and Grace and Frankie and retard and faggot. And they'll just they'll put it all into the AI machine.

And the worst thing you've ever seen will come out. Well, yeah, people talk about they're like AI. And it's like here's the thing it's like ai will be it will be making movies for retards it'll be making idiocracy it'll be what making like ouch my balls the movie right because it's like there's i was talking to you guys i'm like there's there's like five people who can make good art currently a lot like humans can't even make good art so like this robot's not gonna fuck no it's gonna make like uh like the sriracha t-shirt the movie you know not even

sriracha making the t-shirt the making of the t-shirt at target the new movie it's a it's starring john don cheeto it's about the guy who invented the che guerrera t-shirt we made that we made the ai machine watch the flame and hot cheetos movie and it's making the Sriracha t-shirt so it's a new movie from Miramax it's about the guy who discovered you can link up Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon and it's just he's some loser who smoked weed and he came up with that

that's the whole movie it's a movie sarcasm is my first language they're gonna start making movies where they're like here's a movie about IBM's 1998 layoffs we're gonna do a movie about the consultant who came in and really really saved that company the movie about devry university yeah and it's just don cheadle and it's a yeah it's 1977 for some reason well that's that's the unfortunate thing that's happening like the barbie movie is very popular but mattel has signed the rights for mattel i think has 45 movies in the works coming oh yeah that's awesome

yeah like rock and roll like what are like rock and sock and robots the little tiny cars that go everywhere regressive babies yeah yeah that's awesome i think i'm gonna get into guns and stuff like because art's ending and so i'm just gonna get get into... I'm going to go back to... I'm going to buy old surplus weaponry. I might join the army. Art is so bad right now, I might start... I might just start killing people. Because you're cleaning your gun inside Barbie. But you're the guy...

I'm in the front row of Barbie, and I'm sawing off the barrel of a shotgun. And you go... Sir, sir. You're damn right I'm a Ken. I'll show you some Ken-ergy. Did you see it, James? Sir, you cannot saw off your shotgun in the movie theater.

You have to go out to the parking lot if you want to do that. Sir, that's very patriarchal of you. Sir, we give you a gun at Oppenheimer. Please go to Oppenheimer. I saw both movies. I saw them Friday. I saw Barbie first because I was with my girlfriend for that day. And I pretended it was good.

Sure. Was it actually entertaining or good enough? It looked good. The story I liked because it wasn't like that Amy Schumer like, boys are fucking retards. You're like, oh, I guess this is feminism now. Like, boys have tiny cocks and they don't fuck as good. Yeah, I hate boys.

They look like me. Like, it wasn't that. Like, it was an actual like criticism of like you know like patriarchy masculinity is a prison for men and women okay the problem was every joke sucked it's not funny every joke was i love greta gerwig she should not be doing comedy stuff because everything i mean will ferrell was in it that's how i know what it should have sucked every joke is that like is like that will ferrell joke of being like oh so we're just you know we we hate women type of thing like they're just stating

right the joke in a hyper excited voice and that's the entire fucking movie okay you know yeah there are very nice moments but you know i want to see it but it's just it looks like it's full of whores yeah and the problem is i really hate women too so that was my main same dude it was funny i was watching it in queens which i mean you the they should have called that amc in queens the anthony kumia experience it was insane i walk in it's it's nothing but puerto ricans and there's i've never seen this in the movie theater there's three different babies crying that were never silenced or brought out of the theater. Like the baby was crying. I swear to God, there was like a mom going like louder, honey, louder.

Like let him, let him hear you. Yeah. And there was a guy next to me who was legitimately like 450 pounds. He's there with his girlfriend who's like that big. He's probably a child. And every time there was a joke, the guy, this Puerto Rican guyican guy goes lol what the fuck and then he he hit a vape and then he goes he goes and do not even like i've vaped in a movie like i'm a piece of shit but you like blow it into your shirt or like down or something he literally he went up like a whale yeah and sprayed it into

the straight into the air like a fountain it's the only way he knows he's alive. He needs to see his breath. Yeah, they have to hold up a mirror to him like he's a calf that got lost in the snow. You know how newborn babies, they love just looking at themselves in a mirror? I think that's just going to be the future of entertainment. You put a mirror in front of a person and it's just nine hours past.

They go, whoa. They go, who wrote me? Dude, the new hit movie is going to be Margot Robbie covering her eyes and then going, peekaboo. And that dude's going to be like, dude, I thought she was gone and shit. What the fuck? But he's masturbating all the time. He's like, dude what i thought she was like gone and shit what the fuck but he's he's masturbating the whole time he's like fuck i thought she was gone just fuck man dude i'm glad uh amc put in the fuck toys in our seats to milk us the guy that's an oppenheimer and thinks it's barbie yeah he's jacking off to a guy in a pork pie hat

what the fuck it's so long fucking i don't see any titties and shit i will say huge win for the fuck yeah science guys which i thought that was sort of a dying herd it seems they're kind of back though who guys the fuck yeah science guys the the fucking like neil degrasse tyson the bill nye the science guy chugs you know guys who like they're like heck fucking i heckin love science right right yeah what's funny is i think those guys didn't even like it because it actually questioned the moral implications of science well then there was the guy who created ai the open ai thing that guy tweeted he's like really upset that like uh the movie um kind of like shit on

oppenheimer making the bomb i think it could have i swear making the bomb. I think it could have... I swear to God, he tweeted, I think it could have been a really good opportunity to get kids into science. And it's like... Yeah, that's what we want. Yeah. Instead of taking their AR-15 to school, they should develop a bomb.

Right, a bomb that does 8,000 mass shootings in a second. Yeah. God. Yeah, I've already seen all the stuff online of people being like, just saw Oppenheimer, not a single indigenous trans person in the whole thing i saw somebody be like hey just a reminder guys to mine that uranium they actually destroyed uganda i'm like oh dude what the fuck dude are you telling me that atom bomb is fucked up

fuck dude i'm the dumbest guy who ever lived i appreciate you telling me that dude it's literally a movie about how we we fucking microwave 200 000 japanese people in a day yeah yeah everybody knows it's fucked right it's an exploration of how we get to that point you fucking moron you fucking in it you should be watching the first movies ever made I swear to god it's literally about like how like culture will be changed forever yeah like everything it changed everything it's about unleashing the evil

within us if you show those people like journey to the moon like the thing where the missile goes and gets shot in the moon's eye like that old movie from 1907 oh yeah yeah yeah they'd be like dude I can't believe we did that to the moon. That's like fucked up. They're so retarded, you can't even grasp it. People being unintentionally racist.

They're like, we dropped that bomb on them and made them Japanese. They were white, and then they got like tan. And shit. That's why their eyes are so splenny. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, i take it back no it's okay you don't have to take anything say your order yeah i saw i saw oppenheimer the next day i saw it at uh 10 30 in the morning imax theater wow right up to the screen what a wake up it was it was honestly great

going to now that i like don't have a day job and you can go to the movies at 10 30 on a friday and you just be like look at all the we're all fucking losers yeah this whole place reeks of cum everybody's like very especially in la well you were in new york but in la you can go i saw oppenheimer the next day in la if you're in la it's a tuesday at noon it's packed because every there's like delivery drivers just like i'm just gonna take the day off and do this there's people that make money just like showing their pussy on their phone and yeah it was like only fans girls and like guys who looked like the coen brothers now like walking in with their their amazingly old jewish wife yeah and just being like this i can't wait

to see this in cartier yeah and then they hang up from the ceiling like bats they hang like upside down and watch the movie. Yeah, Jews who have become bats over time. Can we say that? I don't know. Yeah, I think we've finally gone too far on Lemon Party. Fuck. Shit.

I need to acknowledge the fact that I said Jewish people watch movies like bats hanging from ceilings. That's fair. You did say that. Well, what are you going to do? Yeah. No, but I love it because it feels like the last like actually and like people who genuinely like you go to that and you're like oh these people want to see a really good movie yeah at 10 30 in the morning right these are like the last they're cinephiles they've been grinded away yeah they've been whittled away by everything that guy with the vape from barbie he

has he's gonna wake up in nine hours in just a petri dish of coffee that he sleeps inside of. He sleeps inside of a burrito. He's that stupid. Every night he wraps himself in a tortilla. He hired a guy from Chipotle to put him to bed. Wrap him in the foil. And then he has a little device that he puts his vape in and so he can just sleep and blow into his vape he goes to chipotle like it's ikea

yeah doing the walkthrough oh god yeah yeah no so that was that was an oppenheimer i really did like i don't think it was as good as everybody have you guys seen it not yet it was all sold out i wanted to see it in new York, but it was all sold out. Everybody's like, it's the best film ever. I still don't. I'm not a huge Nolan guy. The stuff about making the bomb is great. And then it's like, Nolan's autistic.

So then it's just like, the part's about Oppenheimer, the man, but just Cillian Murphy, this far from the camera. And you're like, I don't really. He's just making me gay the whole time. Don't fucking show me his beautiful face and i'm he's really bad at the humanity in his movies and so i'm like well that would be the most interesting aspect of this movie so i just wonder how he tackled he dealt with it yeah he did it but it comes off like a 12th grade like play like a high school play or something uh-huh which is oppenheimer going like i i worry that killing japanese people is wrong right well it's a little you know yeah that's stated like there's a lot

more moral complexity you can dive into do they show them discussing like where they wanted to bomb or like what is suitable yeah yeah there is a funny part in that because they're like the general and i think this is a true story the general was like going over like he's like what a fucking what million japanese people doing you know fucking uh microwave and then he's like he's like all right hiroshima nagasaki and he goes kyoto he goes my wife and i took a delightful honeymoon to kyoto so and he crosses that off the list which i think is is true oh. It's all about who you know. I just, I'm really happy there's finally another Christopher Nolan movie out because now I

have another personality for the next three years. Yes. As you guys know, my personality changes with every single Christopher Nolan. I remember when you were a prestige guy. Walk around doing tricks. Ben was really into magic. Then he was into chaos. Then he was into chaos. Then he was into dreams for a while.

And I used to play with a little thing that you spin. A spinny thing? That you spin, a top. I was a top guy. Right. You're like, this top lets me know

whether or not I'm gay or not. I'd pull out a bunch of tops and I'm like, you guys want to play tops? Yeah. Huh? Oh, no. Fuck yeah, honey.

You're too twisted, huh? I'm just like Dominic cobb leo's character from that movie dominic cobb and worst name of all time every story you told took three hours yep yeah yeah and then i was uh but i'm really excited to start dressing like robert oppenheimer having that really thin tie that's almost a bolo tie. It's so thin. Yeah. Does he wear a really thin tie or the super fat late 40s tie? He does the late 40s thing where you have pants

that somehow go up to the... To your nipples. They go up to where they just tickle your nipples every time you walk. Yeah, the tinny pants. The tinny pants. Yeah.

And then you have the wide tie that's shaped like upside down pizza and it just goes right over. Yeah. It's like this long but it's still going too far over your belt buckle. Yeah. Because your pants are so high.

I will say what's bullshit about it because my wife always pulls my pants down if I pull them up too tall because it's more comfortable and I just feel more confident when I have my pants pulled up. She likes when you sag. Yeah.

Well, Katie's in the MS-13. Katie's in a street gang. Katie loves guys in prison. Yeah, Katie's always like, put. Katie, like, loves guys in prison. Yeah, Katie's always like, put this do-rag on. Sag your pants. Say it. Start doing pull-ups in the park. She's like, you know what would be great?

What if you did all your workouts in the park? On a jungle jump. That's why she was initially attracted to me. I drank so many 40 ounces in the park. That is, yeah. I drank a lot of 40. That is true. And you know, by the way, you know I'm a white guy because I call them a 40 ounces i refer to them as 40 ounces right yeah let's go let's go get some

40 ounces of ye olde english ye olde i was like this weird like a ned flanders like park kid yeah like i was i was walking around like uh matt damon and the informant but i was a drunk like it's it's crazy yeah you dress you dress like mac demarco you drank like you know black teenagers you really co-opted like the losers of every culture yeah you brought everyone together you were a rainbow coalition of losers yeah a vanilla degenerate damn it i forgot why i even brought that up though i was talking about katie and oh we're talking about the pants so pants the thing is because i saw robert oppenheimer i saw the way he dresses and i go people are going to start doing that now but that's fine but uh if you

if like if you look at the human body the pants should go up to the armpits that's the logical place where it stops why does it stop why is it such an arbitrary place that stops here? I completely agree with you. Below the belly button. It should go up to literally your armpits. Yeah, but just nobody would ever get pussy. That is true if you're trying to get laid and a woman has to go like... It's absurd.

Like it's a tent. Yeah, I guess you're right. A woman has to unzip three feet of fly and then try to find your dick vertically yeah she's gotta jump up and grab the zipper we shouldn't even wear shirts we should be just pants pretty much yeah you should just show off your shoulders and have a buckle across here that's interesting pants kanye will put that out soon yeah yeah i'm sure that will be four grand for the four grand and it kind of looks like you're in the Holocaust for some reason. Yeah.

Because Kanye designed it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm excited to see Robert Oppenheimer. I'm excited to be autistically influenced by Nolan. And you're going to say, one ticket for Robert Oppenheimer, please. And they go, sir, how many guns do you have in those big pants? Yeah.

and they go sir how many guns do you have in those big pants yeah uh is there like uh is there anything about like the manhattan project and like the the joker does show up for a second okay good yeah now we're talking yeah the jokers show now we're talking the joker shoves some uranium on the table he goes watch how i make this disappear i don't even know like looking back on his work i don't even know if I could watch Inception with a straight face now yeah I was never a really big like a huge fan of those movies

first time I saw Inception was a packed house and everyone was like what the fuck right like it's a dream within a dream

within a dream within a dream like that's crazy and then it cuts to black oh my god I'm gonna shit myself

take my shoulder I'm shitting my pants take my shoulder oh shit likeitting my pants take my shoulder oh shit like DJ Khaled's in the theater his head explodes I'm filling up my britches take my

take my dick on account of how genius and twisted this is fucking crazy I thought they were okay everybody starts shitting in the theater i was like a fan and then like like two years later every like like fake cinephile on twitter be like if you want a real mind fuck movie check out inception yep like it's like you're watching like lahane or irreversible or something if you rewatch it you're like this

is pretty retard like you're just kind of making it up as you go yeah it feels like you're watching like Lehane or Irreversible or something. If you rewatch it, you're like, this is pretty retarded. Like you're just kind of making it up as you go. It feels like I'm watching one of those South Park episodes where they do an action movie. Yes. It feels like Man Bear Pig is going to come out any second. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. There's that whole part where they have to convince Elliot Page, right?

She's in it. Devin, you be goddamn careful. He's in it, right? Wait, is that? He is in it. But that's also a he's in it right wait is that but that's also a girl's name right is elliot a girl's name that's that's the new that's the remix yeah that's the remix to ignition that's the chopped and screwed version of elephage juno chopped and screwed and so they have to convince she's never seen this world where you could invade dreams. She has no clue, but she's going to school, right?

And they take her and they show her Paris and he flips Paris on its head and they do all that crazy shit. And then she pops out of it and they're like, so you want to join? She's like, I need to think about it. You know, I still want to get my degree. You're like, what?

You just saw Paris flipped on its head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Folded like a crepe. Yeah, yeah, it's very, very silly. Also, he's head yeah yeah nothing's folded like a crate yeah yeah it's very also he's a bad guy leo's like a whore i don't care about him getting his family back stop invading dreams you thief you hunk of shit yeah the whole thing and then there's the old japanese guy on an island and he's he's japanese that didn't make any sense that's a trope of his in his movies where like all of a sudden you go But that's the guy from But now he's really old

Holy shit How much time has passed? 40 years? I've only been sitting here an hour and a half Are you telling me A movie's plot can run differently From our current time? Oh my god

This is sick and twisted They're having a fucking meeting on a rooftop. Look at the background behind them. It's crazy. It's a huge city. There's a fucking helicopter, you fuck. Fuck you. They're getting into SUVs, okay, asshole?

There's a lot of Suburbans in this movie. They do the same thing with Interstellar that drives me crazy, which is Matthew McConaughey being like, my kids, our whole life's gone. And then I think there's literally a line where he goes, love is the only thing that can transcend space and time. And you're like, fuck off with this shit. What'd you get, Lex Friedman to punch this up?

Lex Friedman, the guy who's got the same philosophy as Rodney King. Can't everyone just get along? What if racism stopped? The most obtuse guy of all time but i was gonna say i want to it would be cool if we had a different arc where we have uh we we try to think about like what people would like with our podcast and to get so it can get bigger because somehow that means it's better if more people listen or whatever. You're saying if we were like every other person who does

podcasts. We're like what if we made it worse so it was more popular. Yeah instead of doing the thing we think is the funniest as pop. Yeah. So if we just try to be like let's just get big right and make a lot of money and then attract all these so we get killer guests right that would kind of be worth it so we could

finally have Christopher Nolan on the show and we were like okay dude we gotta ask does the top fall over at the end of inception or doesn't it like because we've been like we're all wondering we're all wondering dude that would be does it fall it cuts the black it's great it's fucking great i can fucking explain it to me i haven't left my room in years. I do have all those junket interviews, especially as of late, you see Harrison Ford or Chris Nolan, they'd be like, when Indy, his whip,

you're gonna bring that back and Harrison Ford's just like, I wanna rape you to death. And they're like, ah, Harrison, he's got that classic deadpan delivery. It's that wit. That wit, that rapist wit.

That Shakespearean wit. I do wonder if Christopher Nolan wasn't British if people would respect him as much. I don't think they would. I think he's also American, right? He's like half American, half British. Well, he really puts it on thick in interviews and stuff. No, he grew up. I think he grew up in America for like 12 years.

Yeah, he is. It's that Andrew Tate thing where he's there. It's weird. It's like a mixed years. Yeah, he has that. It's that Andrew Tate thing where he's there. It's weird. It's like a mixed thing. Yeah. I want to hear, I want to see him make a movie about the real Oppenheimer,

his brother, who's a hit man. Yeah. So, but I thought his brother was the guy who writes the movies and then Christopher makes them. You're telling me that his brother is a hit man?

One of his brothers. He has another brother that used to go by Oppenheimer and I think he's a hit. Is that true, Jace? I saw that on twitter i'll look it up look at it let's get into this yeah but it's funny one brother is christopher nolan the other brother writes all of christopher nolan's movies well his brother one like tortured a woman to death or something right i'm sure this brother he probably at least knows how to you know how to

end something yeah real hitman we should see Oppenheimer after this Ben uh so his brother Matthew Nolan was never convicted of being a hitman or of involvement in a murder according to Newsweek well you know what fuck Twitter uh he was arrested by FBI agent that year and formally charged with Cohen's murder by Costa Rican authorities however a judge in the U.S. did not see sufficient evidence. Yeah. I'm guessing that judge was a big fan of the Joker. Yeah.

He did the trial from, uh, with the scarecrow and the, yeah. Um, yeah. I mean also, you know,

like murdering like Costa Rica, that's like, you know, that's like, if you don't get away with murder in Costa Rica, like what are you talking about? It's like mandatory, I think. Yeah. Like you literally go to a murder trial in the U S and they're like, you don't get away with murder in Costa Rica, like what are you talking about? It's like mandatory, I think.

Yeah. Like you literally go to a murder trial in the US and they're like, you murdered her in Costa Rica? Like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. What are you talking about? Was Cillian Murphy good? Is he going to get like an Oscar for it?

He's good. Robert Downey Jr. is fantastic. Oh, okay. He does like, he does such a good performance. You want to forgive him for 15 years of bullshit with the Iron Man stuff. Right. He's stuff. Right. He's great. Yeah.

He's a great actor. It is also funny. I did not realize every person on the Manhattan... It's a big part of the movie. Every person on the Manhattan Project is Jewish. And you're just like, not a great look for the whole... If you're trying to counter argue the conspiracy theory stuff. Right.

Not a fantastic look. Yeah. There is some evidence that says he used the alias matthew mccall oppenheimer which includes testimony and email records where he refers to himself as m.m mccall oppenheimer so and i think this guy's missing by the way because while he was being held in the metropolitan correctional center in chicago nolan attempted to escape and was sentenced to 14 months in jail as a result after serving his time nolan was released his current whereabouts and condition are unknown there's gotta be some truth to it yeah

yeah on some level christopher nolan probably broke him out like in a big heist yeah and a really cool school bus drove through the prison and picked him up and a bus took 45 minutes to fall into a river yeah well well i'll check it out i also love how he looks like the gay guy in peaky blinders who just always dresses like that christopher nolan oh yeah yeah every time you see him he's got that same like that's a premiere but he's always wearing like that tweed button down with a cardigan over the top of it yeah man this summer you can have it all reclaim your free time and eat delicious food with hello fresh they're america's number one meal kit that delivers farm fresh pre-portioned

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think these are the two only movies that have ever been made the way the hype is online by the way like when this stuff it's it's always this weird like mobs sensational thing where people if you have any prop dude when interstellar came out i thought it was such a hunk of shit i thought it was so gay and retarded and people acted like i was people were judging me like morally morally right i go the math the math and the science and all the stuff none of it makes sense about them going into space and then living and then i'm like there's it's literally it's retarded into the love thing people acted like i was a like a bad person for not liking it so i'm sure if i have any problems with this movie too people will just say like you know you need to fucking yeah probably i never even saw her stellar oh you didn't more of a gravity guy well yeah i mean i did love gravity

i go seems weird i've been at crossroads i go i go it's it sucks but it's all one shot yeah so you get to see all the shit at once i love gravity i love a rom-com in space they should have put a really big fat actress in uh gravity yeah and then uh the whole thing is she just she actually just falls to earth yeah it's five minutes long it's just george clooney flowing around he's like it looks like you're getting sucked into the atmosphere oh wait no it seems the earth is now spinning around you you big fat bitch

you big fat bitch anyway I'm gonna go film Ocean's 13 I'm gonna go marry this smart bitch that uh lost the election for Hillary Clinton

wait who's that um what no his wife was uh the advisor for like Anthony Weiner actually actually, I think. Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah. Clooney's CIA, I think. Oh, 100% Clooney's CIA. He's always doing movies where he's kind of a CIA guy or a fixer. He's so damn suave. He's in tight with the feds, is he? He's in tight with the feds. I was more of the Flash guy, I gotta be honest.

I love the Flash. And my brain's made out of the Flash guy. I gotta be honest. I love the Flash. And my brain's made out of gushes. That's the movie with the guy that he keeps raping and killing people and he keeps getting Marvel movies. Oh, you're talking about Shazam? Ezra Miller. You're talking about the guy who was like

he was going live from Starbucks because he was shut off at his house. That guy keeps raping and killing people with his personality. Yeah, the guy from Shazam was like going homeless in real time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like outside Starbucks

like begging people to see his movies so he wouldn't go. Zachary Levi. Yeah, he resorted to, he eventually just made a GoFundMe for himself. Yeah. He would go to like Q&As and ask people for money like can i have 20 he was doing make a wish for kids in hospital and then he was stealing their their

lunch and taking it out to his car stealing their apples yeah that movie made like 19 yeah he was like he was like on instagram live being like guys my mom saw it that's it that that movie flopped so bad like a like a bank shut down like a bank was like we're closing we loan the fucking money to these people oh yeah that movie bombed so bad like bolivia just disappeared off they're like bolivia's like we gotta get a new currency inflation skyrocketed the movie tanked so bad that adam mckay is making a movie about the making of shazam yeah it's called The Bigger Short. No, but The Flash came out

and that was like a huge... It's so funny. Studios now are like, okay, so we spent $900 million to make this and we made it suck. So we don't know what's happening. I think also all those movies, they're just...

I've heard a lot of reports that they're just... It's like money laundering. They're like, we spent 600 million to make this. It looks like shit compared to a movie that costs, you know, like Oppenheimer's like 100 million. Right. It has 22 producers and they're pretty sure people are just like funneling. Yeah, yeah.

Shit into like offshore bank accounts and stuff. It makes sense. There's been so many of them. It's been driving us all crazy for the last decade. And you're like, but where is any of it going right like how does the marvels cost like yeah you know 300 million per movie who the fuck went and saw ant-man quantum mania that like how did you make all that money back i don't know but i really hope they start taking all that money and just putting it toward a new season of

bosh me too because imagine bosh is, but imagine if they put 300 million behind every 25 minute episode. Yeah. If David Zaslav was like, okay, Bosch in IMAX. Bosch season nine. You remember that guy

from Gone Girl? I know what movie. The fucking Casey Affleck movie. Oh, Gone Baby Gone? Gone Baby Gone. You remember the guy who's the biker? He's Bosch.

Yeah, that's right. It's weird they gave him the lead of a show he's always just like a side detective and stuff that's what's the thing back then like if you had two hit movies in a row they're like you're you're bosh now i gotta look at but i have no idea who bosh jeremy renner had a whole career off of like the town and fucking one other movie coming out at the same time yep the town and her walk Walker came out in two years and they're like, Jeremy Renner gets $80 million. Yeah, give him it all. Yeah.

Give him money so he can form his own weird app, the Jeremy Renner app. He had an app? Yeah, it was called the Jeremy Renner app. Oh, man. And it was like, so fans of Jeremy Renner could connect to Jeremy Renner. Oh, it wasn't so he could control a snowplow?

Yeah, he's like, guys, I'm going to be live streaming my own death on Thursday. Guys, the new Marvel movie. I go up against the big snowplow at the end. It was so funny. He's so culturally irrelevant that he almost died. And like he's doing interviews. He's like, he's like, here's how I was almost killed by the snowplow. People are like, who gives a shit?

It really didn't get that much press. People are like, who cares? I know. Yeah, look at that. That's Bosh. That's Bosh. That's a lead in a show that has 30 seasons. Dude, that looks like my dad's fittest friend.

So this is the problem with retards, right? Because it's based on the bestselling novels by Michael Connelly. So these guys, like Michael Crichton and all all those like uh who wrote uh john krasinski was a huge fan of them and then jack ryan who and the guy who wrote that is just some guy who john grisham that guy yeah yeah right so that's like uh so people like uh i think what's happening is like producers just go to airports and then they just see what book is there and then they go we're gonna make that into neck pillow the movie right yeah i mean that's literally like what snow globe yeah that's literally what produce like they see their kids playing rock'em sock'em robots they go that's a movie yeah that's an idea we're totally out of shit they're just walking

through life like they see a bird and they go all right bird get their own movie yeah they're like oh the birds it was a huge hit with alfred hitchcock make a sequel door movie about doors am i having a stroke or was there an angry birds movie that everybody went there was four angry birds movies yeah yeah i free i yeah i don't even know man there was an emoji movie where people were probably in the theater like that shit got me like yo yo i'm laughing so hard at that movie i look like the emoji that's crazy you know when the big eye emoji came out i was like yo yeah it's for people who are so dumb they can't do english anymore so they built their own hieroglyphics yes from the iphone yeah it's retard hieroglyphics where they're like i can't read words but i know like cry laugh emoji um tree leaf emoji smoke emoji that means like you high as shit and we're gonna smoke later

yeah i'm gonna fuck an eggplant and a peach yeah i'm gonna i want to tell my girl i'm gonna fuck her so it's a dick and an ass and water. And rain. And rain. And that shit 100%. Dude, I'm going to jack my eggplant and rain later. But the rain. So this is like where you. This takes like some algebra to figure this out.

The rain is cum. Even though I know rain ain't made out of cum most of the time. It's called suspending your disbelief. Yeah. You stupid bitch. You stupid. You dumb dumb bitch he knows that saying yeah he's like it's like a metaphor and they're like who's he's like that's my cousin metaphor yeah so the emoji movie i'm guessing that's like pete davidson's uh an emoji is that the? I'm guessing that's the movie. Maybe, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm guessing that's...

He probably came in for a day. He did a voice. Then they gave him nine months paid leave for mental health reasons. Sounds good to me. Yeah, I hope Chelsea Preddy plays one of the emojis. That would be cool. I bet that there's...

She plays the witch emoji. Yeah, I don't think the screen's big enough for her nose. This has to be an IMAX. They couldn't find a screen's big enough for her nose. This has to be an IMAX. They couldn't find a recording studio big enough for her to fit inside to record the... Yeah, it kept hitting the mic. I'm looking up Emoji Movie to see who it is. I'm guessing Ryan Reynolds and Pete Davidson. I don't even think they could get that.

I think it's the guy from Silicon Valley is like the lead. Oh, right. Remember, like they gave every movie to him and every voice role was T.J. Miller before he shoved that Coke bottle up that lady's pussy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It is T.J. Miller. T.J. Miller called it like a bomb threat on the subway. Right.

He like bomb threaded a woman's pussy. Yeah. Yeah. The lead in Silicon Valley, the guy that does all the great impressions, that guy. Yes. I forget his name yeah isn't he like doesn't he have like weird like sex dungeon parties and shit he he went on conan and he was like what is that guy's name oh thomas middleditch thomas middleditch

he's actually like a funny dude but he went on conan like three seasons into silicon valley and he goes and he just talked about how he's like yeah my wife um didn't want to but i forced her to be polyamorous so i thought he's on a national talk show yeah these poly people just have to talk about being poly for some reason i know they have to let everybody know they're the most disgusting person in the world and you can see conan in the audience be like oh that's really sad dog like that sucks yeah then like a year later they got divorced because she clearly didn't want to like, but he's like, I'm famous. Fuck you.

I'm going to fuck people and you can leave if you want. And then she eventually did. And then there was like, you know, one of those LA nightclubs where they're like all the women dressed like skeletons and you rape them and shit. It's like a spooky nightclub where you rape skeleton women. Yeah. It's club rape. Yeah.

It's literally called like club rape. And they were like, like two waitresses at club rape were like, he was, he was too offensive's club rape yeah it's no it's literally called like club rape and they were like like two waitresses at club rape were like he was he was too offensive for club rape like here at club late here at club rape we love to rape women against their will but this guy took it a little far you walk in bill maher's getting bottle service in the corner everybody like no one's weird it's all fine everybody is you know doing normal rape right they had they threw they picked up thomas middleditch and they threw him through the double door like an old cartoon cowboy through saloon doors that are flapping and stay out of club break yeah yeah it's good shit dog yeah tj miller i think like literally blew a woman up like he

shoved a bomb inside her and like blew it up yeah he was something like that i was crazy uh something about he's fucking a lady and he uh rammed the coke bottle up her pussy or something but you know yeah he went like brock turner mode yeah we got uh but he's a clown yeah that's true devon but okay so let's say let. So let's say TJ Miller never existed, which I'm sure if you could hit a big red button, you would hit it right now that says TJ Miller never existed. If that button was in front of Devin, he'd break his hand. Well, I'm sure Devin, but then Devin, think about this.

We wouldn't have Yogi Bear 3D. That's true. Think about that. We wouldn't have Yogi Bear 3D. Now you think about that. I will think about the smiles on the children's faces all across the country who loved Yogi Bear 3D. Right. Here's the thing.

We'd probably still have it, but it'd be with a different rapist. So think about that. No Deadpool either. That's true. Imagine Josh Gad in T.J. Miller's role as the the who is he in Deadpool? Josh Gad? The sandwich. Who is T. who is he in Deadpool Josh Gad the sandwich who is TJ playing in Deadpool

his bartender friend yeah Deadpool's friend Deadpool just comes in being all quippy and mean and then TJ's like you know reddit humor reddit humor reddit humor I raped a woman I raped a woman before all this I never thought TJ Miller was like that big an offender

of bad stuff. I thought he was like, okay. Yeah, he was fine. No, I thought he was funny. Yeah, I thought he was funny. Yeah, I mean like everybody who I thought was funny back in the day

and then they became literally like from the Bhagavad Gita. They became the destroyer of media. Yeah. I just thought we just make fun of people on the show.

No, I hit the button. Fuck him. Yeah, thank you. Fuck you, T.J. Miller. I mean, I liked Pete Holmes at one point and the show. No, I hit the button. Fuck him. Yeah. Thank you. Fuck you, TJ Miller. I mean, I liked Pete Holmes at one point, and now he's like, I think he has a cult in Oregon or something. Does he? He's like killing.

I mean, probably. Yeah, he probably does. That guy. Yeah. He's doing a bowling show and then like doing like the fucking Wild Wild Country documentary out somewhere. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you could show that guy like beheading videos and he wouldn't even blink.

Mm-mm. You could show him the worst things imaginable and he would, he'd be like, sure you could show that guy beheading videos and he wouldn't even blink. Mm-mm. You could show him the worst things imaginable and he would... He'd be like, was that a smile? What has he done in a long fucking time? He did crashing.

That's right. He did crashing. Did the Pete Holmes show. He resurrected Artie Lang. And he made a marionette. Oh, that's right. He had Artie Lang. You can see the strings Artie Lang is hanging from. There's a marionette he had arty lang you can see the strings arty lang is hanging from

there's a marionettist at the top like making arty lang act and crashing yeah peter is like all right let's blow arty's nose back up let's get him on set and then he does the this is how we bowl show now oh yeah i think he has a show where he plays a bowler on like it's a cbs sitcom he plays a christian bowler who uses god to get back into bowling um it's called this is how we roll oh is that is that true i thought you were doing i thought you were doing a bit i was getting ready to yes and i mean those cbs sitcoms are literally like you remember the united states of al yes where it was like a gi who brought an arab guy back from afghanistan yeah and it's literally just the arab guy going like oh you know i think your people are gross and smell weird

and i was like what could i say i'm dumb and it's like played by an indian guy it is played by an indian guy yeah it's like disgusting and every episode is like he learns like they go get like a beer together down at the bar and they're like you get it you Muslims you're alright you Muslims you're alright Al's at a bar and they're like wait you are so subjecting your women to intense laws against their bodies

y'all Muslims is alright in my book alright in my book I love to rape I love to rape women they go they, Subar, you're not playing an Indian guy. I know you are Indian, and you're totally not from Afghanistan, but you got to stop being Indian, all right? And best actor goes to Nardwar Bengali.

Nardwar. It's the newest big guy no they gotta end the strike so we can get these shows back I know because shows like that for retards were great because it was just a guy with like a turban and he's like playing a flute and a cobra's coming it's not even Afghan like what is going on? I'm not kidding I wouldn't

be surprised if you were like I'm gonna check this show out and you watched it and every five minutes it flashes just obey on the screen just a big black and white like consume commerce capitalism is good yeah like Fight Club or they're putting the porn in the middle for half a second exactly trust the government yeah yeah what's like sass dude i wonder it must suck to i maybe we should empathize with people for once because they think we just shit on people maybe let's empathize with this indian guy who had to play an afghani guy on a on a tv show for people who i i'm

guessing this is playing after the big bang theory yeah this is what right i think literally yeah so this is playing as you're coming home from work and you sit down and you crack open a beer which is the first of 20 of the night sure and you sit down

in your lazy boy which has a big dent in it right from many many many many evenings of sitting down and you see that

big bang theory is ending and then what comes on next? The United States of Al. And you pull that lever on the side of your lazy boy and it kicks your legs up so hard that it kicks your three-year-old

and she flies into the ceiling and she gets ripped up in the ceiling. Right. And she's dead. Snaps both of your ligaments, but you can't feel that anymore yep and then you just you take a gun out of your cup holder and you point it at the tv and you go all right you just you just hold the gun at the tv like i'm honey leave me alone i'm watching television

you've confused your gun with your remote at this point. Because you're 20 course lights deep. You try to, later that night, your wife and your three humongous children go to sleep. And you go in the garage and you go, do it, pussy. And then you put the remote in your mouth and try to kill yourself. You're like, what the fuck? The gun's just full of Mountain Dew. It's a squirt gun it's baja blast

yeah i was walking by some hispanic guys on my street who were building a house not to brag i was walking by them very very carefully might i add you know can't be too careful these days you know can't be too careful these days okay okay Jason I'll be in yeah don't try that in a small town

yeah one of those guys yeah one of those guys but I was walking by them and I heard them say they were talking and then I heard I'm trying to pick up

on Spanish yeah and I'm trying to teach I'm trying to teach my dogs and you're like excuse me guys what is is a Marie Kohn? And why do you keep looking at me and saying it?

They said the word Diablo. And I was like, I got that. I got Diablo. I don't want to walk over and be like, you talking about the sauces at Taco Bell? Mild, medium, hot, fire, Diablo. It's one of my favorites too. They're just staring at me

they take out a power tool from their truck and they hold me down they're like es blanco Diablo he's like no we're talking about what everyone in this neighborhood represent yeah I have caught myself doing that where I've been in like a fucking elevator with like a Mexican family and they're like, you know, going to the.

And then I just hear agua and I go, that means water. I go, I understood that. Yeah, that's good time. I don't know any Spanish really. I'm a complete retard. I know. I know tons of Spanish. Yeah.

Adelante. What's that mean? I think it means like come here. Oh, okay. Or move, maybe. And then... You don't know. It means either an action or the opposite of that action.

China comida. You want Chinese food. How did you know that means Chinese food? I think you've said it before. Oh. Yeah. Aparo. Dog. Yeah. Aparito. the little puppy yeah okay uh la niña the storm uh it means a girl a small baby girl okay that's

like also like el nino la niña yeah maybe maybe i'm saying it wrong. Oh, bonita? Pretty? Beautiful. See, I can keep going. Yeah. Sure. I got plenty. See, I'm speaking Spanish.

You're good. Trucka? Right. There was, when you were moving to this house, there was like, your gardener was helping move, and they were doing, I knew they spoke English. They were doing the I don't speak English thing. This made me laugh so hard. I know. They were doing the I don't speak English thing.

I'm like, whatever. I get it. Not wanting to talk to to me i'm just here to help i mean i threw my back out within five minutes of helping ben move and uh ben was like okay go get in and out for all the guys and i brought it back and i walk up to him i'm like hey we got uh burgers and fries and sodas if you guys want them and they they look at they're like gay and i go uh hamburguesas papas fritas and they're like oh fuck man i'm like all right well you fucking you didn't understand hamburger or you pretended not to so well they also didn't know what the fucking bet they don't know what that bag represents by now jesus christ come on i walk by these guys do construction every day and i they're you know how they always have that really big landfill dumpster?

Like the dumpster that goes on a barge of a ship and it drives it out to Antarctica and dumps it? Yeah. Those really big ones. I walk by it every day and I look in. I'm like, God, a lot of building materials, right? And I pop my head over. It's just bags of McDonald's. They have to get those for the

workers because they eat so much fast food. It's not even for building materials. It's for like Baja Blast cups. And Modelo racks. Modelo boxes. You use like a pinata in there. And they work it all off. Yeah, they somehow they do. They fucking work it all off.

Somehow they do. They work off 400 grams of sugar a day somehow only like construction workers and manual labor guys they're unbelievable 6 a.m they can't be stopped 72 ounce dr pepper corn dogs they're like the hummingbirds of people really like they need just nectar yeah you know to keep flying yeah yeah they're they're just on a homer simpson diet and they're somehow they don't look like homer because they work yeah yeah not for me not for you though you walk from you tiptoe by them i i walk by you go hi i'm a i'm a podcast dude i also know know with Hot Days Labor, I do podcasts. They are always talking shit

about us. Oh, for sure. And they fucking deserve to. As they should. We literally live like they're the turtle we're all floating on through the universe. Like our life depends on their existence. That is, you know, our life depends on them getting paid less than us to do much more labor and work.

Everything nice we have is because they're working their ass off. Yeah. Also, I'm talking shit about myself in my head as I'm walking. That's why I go on walks. I just hate myself. If you snapped your finger and removed all Mexicans from America, we would all die within two weeks.

Like we were literally like run out of food and all starve to death. Yeah. If you told me I had, I had to wipe my grandma's ass. I, I, I, I clamber for a gun. You'd be like, I have starve to death. Yeah, if you told me I had to wipe my grandma's ass, I'd clamber for a gun. You'd be like, I have to do that? Come on. I'm not wiping.

That's for the Jamaicans. Oh, come on. Right. Well, I was lumping them in with the Mexicans. Okay, yeah. Which I think is very fair. And then there's white nurses, but they're all like Zola. They all have tattoos and they're just like kind of ratchets.

Mortal Kombat type of people. Yeah, they're nurses, you know? They're just cheating. White nurses are just women who have too many family members to do OnlyFans. It's the same thing. That's kind of true. They come from too big of a family to be a sex worker. Every white nurse i've

ever seen in my life i'm like you must take so much dick every day you look like you were designed to get fucked by black guys honestly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah built in a lab by a black scientist yeah yakub invented these white women yeah they have as many tattoos as alan iverson yeah yeah anyway let's uh end this before we turn into a patreon app They have as many tattoos as Allen Iverson. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, let's end this before we turn into a Patreon app. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Yeah, you're probably right, because now we're... It's kind of like when a plane loses an engine and it starts veering left. We only have so much gas to not be incredibly racist for an hour 15, and after that, it's Patreon. Yeah. We flipped upside down, like flight, and pretty soon we's Patreon. Yeah. We just we flipped upside down like flight and pretty soon we'll be on

trial. All right. Well Patreon dot com slash live a party for audio and video episodes and access to the discord. And also you get

your name on the thing at the beginning and also you get access to all the thing at the beginning and also you get access to all the live streams we do because i take those down after 24 hours and those live streams happen every wednesday at like uh this this week i'm gonna have to do do the live stream earlier by the way for everyone listening i'm gonna have to do it from noon to two la time okay so that's three o'clock new york time for everybody uh because i'm going out of town i'm going to new mexico nice what are you doing just gonna go fucking go to the breaking bad

house yeah he's gonna go to los alamos yeah you go to the santa fe institute uh i don't think i'm gonna get to go to that i'm just like uh i'm kind of like this weird uh i'm turning into an invalid i'm a real space cadet type of guy where like I turn to my wife and I go what am I doing today and she goes you're getting on a plane you have to get in an Uber and go to LAX at 4 and I go

okay and then she takes me she goes here you go and she sets me in a chair and she gives me paper and a pen she goes work on your novel today and I go okay She's like, work on your novel today. And I go, okay. You're like Tony Bennett. Yeah.

I mean, famously two weeks ago I made us a schedule because everybody was going out of town and I sent it and you're like, when am I going out of town? Yeah, Jay's had to tell you.

He told me two weeks ago I was flying into Mexico. I'm like, no one fucking told me. Yeah. The fuck is this? I'm not working on my book. They wheel you through TSA

like an old lady yeah and you go my handshake so when i land when i land in el paso which is i think where we're flying into i'm just gonna turn to katie and i'll be like no uh what now she's like we're going to we're going to new mexico and i go right of course what is the point of this New Mexico trip? I believe I am playing golf. At some point, she told me that. And there's going to be other people there.

It's a family reunion. There are going to be other people there that are related to her, not me. What part of New Mexico? Ria Dosa, I believe. Oh. What Airbnb are you staying at? list that and what's your social so yeah if you uh if you want to set up a roadblock i'll be driving from el paso to rio dosa give them give them the landing times yeah if you want to like pull some like nacho varga like sicario shit. Yeah. You can really you can really fuck my life up.

But regardless the Patreon and then what almost the live stream. Yeah. That's it. That's all of it. Devin hate watch. Hey watch podcast. And Devin just went to New York and did a whole bunch of did a litany of New York podcast. I did one stuff.

Island. They're great people. Incredible. Devin did did devon did the whole uh i did them all though did them all i'll tell everyone i did them all out there promoting oh yeah just promoting the the good it was just me bobby lee yeah sure all the guests yeah it's cross you know i'm a big get yeah i also went to new york but i didn't see devvin or do any podcasts I was in New York at the same time but I literally texted Devin like where are you going to be in New York he's like Brooklyn I'm like I'm going to be in Queens

we're like well that's it I'll see you when I see you see you back home okay well that is the show then God bless you all goodbye everybody Okay well that is the show then God bless you all Goodbye everybody Bye Thank you.