lemonparty - 052: Thug Life

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty We shot a golf match in glendale. It's on the patreon now! One hour long. Check it out. ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody the new merch is here. This is one of the shirts. It's the Sobey Lizard shirt. I'm sewing. Ben's sewing. We have like five designs. LA Apparel the nice shirts. Yes the good shit. The very high quality shirts. We made sure to get the shit we like to wear. Yes.

We ordered like 20 shirts just to make sure we got the perfect one so it's not some piece of shit. They're great. They fit great. We know like you know over 80% of you are fat as shit. Yeah so they fit great we know like you know over 80 of you are fat as shit yeah so they fit a little oversized i think yeah they're kind of an oversized feel but yeah just just you know buy accordingly like you know medium will be fine for me but it would be like a little baggier medium but i still wear baggy shirts i like a bag baggy like i want xl i like a baggy yeah yeah i'm crazy i'm loco uh you're knocking butts ben's knocking yeah i'm i'm necking fats go to limit party dot live to see all the sick designs we have it's gonna be up for like four to five weeks maybe actually i'm gonna say around four because we

want to get it to you guys by christmas it's gonna be a limited run so you need to get it and then these designs are going away then we're gonna get get all the shirts we're going to print them and we're going to ship them to you guys as fast as possible we're doing this all in-house my fingers are going to touch each one of these shirts yeah we're shipping them ourself we're ordering ourself i did all the designs except for shout out at vandal who did the wish i could have been there brother shirt yeah which i love which is like yeah one of of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life. So happy to see that. I promise to miss the birth of my first daughter

to make sure you guys get these hoodies on time. I will be in my garage packing everything, shipping it directly to you. Okay. That's our commitment to you. So go to lemonparty.life, get your order in before we close it for this limited run. Yeah.

That's it. And enjoy this episode. Hope you like them. Hope you like the app. Yeah, I'd buy like millions of like celebrity like dinners with Adam Scott for a benefit thing and then just not show up. Just stiff him. Anytime I hear about a guy, his dad is worth $5 billion. And you're like, why does he do anything? Why is he trying to do anything?

Yeah, you should create a life that's basically a flotation tank like that joe rogan floats in yeah yeah yeah pretty much i mean build me a mech suit that's designed like a bed when people have that much money i always think like i have fantasies of just like i'll just i'm gonna like buy like a fucking i'm gonna buy like a million cars and just illegally park them all over la just the fuck with like parking and for i i would just like still be like a terrorist yeah but then you pull up you go look at this asshole double park you're like oh oh it's me that's mine my bad it's one of my million yeah and everyone has a vanity plate that says fuck you yes it's like fuck you one through

like five thousand like oh that's that's king costa the king of socal they call them i'm not kidding i've been thinking about running for like a local like council thing really yeah i just think it'd be funny to wear a suit and be like like show up drunk to like speeches dude that would be great if you're at a council meeting just being a terrorist for like 15 just white moms. I want to be up there and have like, I don't speak any of the political lingo, but I still rally people somehow. I'm just like, it's fucked guys. It's gay, isn't it? Why do we have to be around these homeless at the park?

You have kids. It's fucking annoying, right? Yeah. They're trying to pass like a new bench goes in at Maccarthur park and you go i believe jesse jackson told us you're doing if they're like you're doing a filibuster they're like we don't do filibusters yeah like i will speak until my time is out and then once you you leave every like town hall whatever and you like you immediately get pulled over you get a dui like once a week. And I keep handling them because I have so much money. I'm just like, who gives a shit?

I go, guys, I'll pay your DUIs in the city. That's what you run on. You'll pay for everyone's DUI. The only politician that posts where DUI checkpoints are. I go, watch out tonight. I go, this city's corrupt. They're not going to let you drive a mile home. How do they expect you to get home?

You drove to the bar. It's a scam. It's a scam. It's Biden. It's Biden. It's so he can drive the gas prices up. You're damn right, Ben. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, out of putting him being like, Fairfax, they normally get you. There's a residential neighborhood full of families. Drive down that. Chevy Hot Hills just cut right through. Chevy Hot Hills, you can go 90 down those streets I'd be like do you guys really feel comfortable living amongst

all these homeless people I'm gonna do something about it I care about them but listen the cops are gonna take them I don't know what they do with them but you never knew what they were doing

with them before okay so don't act like all of a sudden now you're really afraid of what's gonna happen you just turn a blind eye that's what I I go turn a blind eye

it's like Jimmy Hoffman the Irishman I'm like turn a blind eye solidarity's what i i go turn it's like jimmy hoffman the irishman i'm like turn up solidarity it's just a bunch of guys with duis like turn up look away look away from the horror it's just guys that all road shaking your hair yeah i'll tell you i'll tell you mr costa i was you know there used to be a hoverville right unions they used to be hoverville right by me where you know where i live by the Mr. Costa, you know, there used to be a Hovaville right by me where I live by the Silver Lake Meadow, you know. Just like these working class guys living in Silver Lake. Yeah, I love getting an acai bowl when I'm done with my union job. I love getting an acai bowl and a CBD latte. I'll tell you, Mr. Costa.

Mr. Costa. latte i'll tell you i'll tell you mr costa yeah you would the funny thing is is you'd probably win i think if your whole thing was i'll pay for everyone's dui in the city like you can get as many as you want i'll cover all of your legal bills here's the thing here's kind of why i want to do it it's kind of like a test it's kind of like a like a like a psychological study because we realize kind of of your own self too politics are finished it's it's now a it's a popularity contest trump proved that like trump won off of just like i'm gonna go up there and fucking freestyle and just talk my shit and i you realize you connect to a regular person more doing that than you do with like the whole you know just political speech but you're still lying

like you're still doing the same stuff Trump does. Trump just goes, yeah, I'm fucking lying. Do something about it. He goes, don't you love to get lied to? Yeah. So, like, I really think that's the new thing. You're George Santos's, you're fucking the Marjorie Butter Green or what's that whore's name? Yeah, yeah.

No, Marjorie Taylor. Marjorie and Butter, yeah, yeah. And then you got the fucking gun pussy lady, rifle Colorado bitch, and all these jack off, you know, your first date. Yeah. At Wicked or whatever. We love these people now.

Yeah, they're kind of awesome. So they'll be like, did you hear that Councilman Costa got kicked out of Red Lion again? He keeps getting kicked out of bars. He's a man of the people. he's a man of the people he's a man of the people he gets thrown ahead first like a cartoon like out of bars and he gets up and he wipes the dust off of him and he goes man i like the sound of that and he just keeps shredding he takes he takes a pork pie hat with the top coming off of it and he beats the dust off his pants. And then wanders and then

Exactly. There's 18-wheelers whizzing driving like Mr. Magoo around the Silver Lake Reservoir. There's footage of me being racist but even wrong with my racism. There's footage of me at Panda Express hammered my tux is like

or my suit's like undone and I'm like we fucking kicked your ass in Korea I'll do it again you're going go play some basketball you fucks Trump handled like homosexuality beautiful back in the early to

mid 2000s when you know still there were people like Barack Obama and Hillary that still weren't for gay marriage yeah you had Trump here on The Apprentice when he asked that guy if he's gay I haven't seen that clip have you seen that clip when he asked the guy if he's gay he's on The Apprentice he's like now you don't like you don't like these lovely

ladies you don't like them he's like no they're very beautiful but it's not really my thing he goes well you're gay right you're a gay man he goes yes Mr. Trump I am gay he goes well that're gay right you're a gay man he goes yes yes mr trump i am gay he goes well that's why they have menus at restaurants i suppose you know some guy comes in he loves steak someone they might hate steak for some reason i mean listen i don't like lobster but you can still put your dick in it i don't care but he makes a lot of sense he does and it's

actually kind of a beautiful way to put it and he's let's be honest you i think meeting in the middle is the most empathetic thing you can do with a single human being because it's so condescending to champion their thing yeah because trump doesn't go i i think it's great that you're gay it's actually better to be gay right oh my god i'm so happy that you're a gay exactly it's very fraudulent and condescending. Yes. He just goes, yeah, we're different. He gives a shit. He goes, I mean, I couldn't imagine sucking a cock, but I'll tell you, it's not my thing.

Doesn't mean it can't be yours. If it's beautiful to you, then you do it. Yeah. It's beautiful. I think it's disgusting. It makes me want to vomit, but God bless. But that's the most, he was actually the most progressive person on gay marriage at the time when it came to more than any Democratic politician at the time, I think.

Any prominent person. Even still now, there's a clip of his newest speech going viral. He's like, look at all these people here. Men, I'll kiss every man and woman here. The men, maybe not as enthusiastically, but that's okay. People are like, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. I love that. Well, it was really, we were,

everyone that hated him was such a fucking just petulant child the whole time, and in the name of wanting things to be better and fighting an evil guy, when he was the easiest guy to figure out psychologically. All you had to do was say you liked him, and I love you, Donald Trump, and then he'd listen to you and you could get your thing passed yeah he really doesn't give a flying fuck about like the policies he just wants you to like him

kanye kim kardashian they just pretend like a kind of kanye liked him i think but like kim kardashian like just fake liked him sure got into the white house and then like he signed like he was like all right i'll let go these black people from prison like like milk and yeah and then the year later connie's like can you put them back in prison please no he's fantastic he's a fantastic i'm just saying he's at you know for everybody that hates the woke mind virus, Trump might be patient zero for that, because he really loved gay people in 2003. That's all I'm saying. Maybe you're gay if you love Trump, actually.

Also, one of my favorite things is he gets boos at every rally he does because he's still pro-vaccine. So he'd be like, I encourage you, get a booster. The crowd boos. He goes, that's all right, boo me, I don't care. And then they start cheering. They cheer again. He goes, that's all right, boo me, I don't care. And then they start cheering. They cheer again. He goes, don't get it if you want it.

It's a beautiful booster. A beautiful booster I made with the scientists. He loves the booster because he knows it's killing Democrats. He's like, I think we should have more basketball players have congenital heart defects. Brody James, that's my work. I think it's beautiful. Because LeBron never supported me

and look what's happened to his job. It's a terrible thing. We turned black people's hearts into confetti and I think that's wonderful. I mean, look at poor Silk. Poor Silk. Poor Silk, a big, gross black heart gave out. Poor Silk, a greasy heart gave out. Poor Silke.

Greasy heart. Threw up. I think he literally said her big black heart gave out. No, he did. He tweeted. He goes, her big black heart gave out. He posted on True Social. That was word for word what he said.

Big black heart. Her big, beautiful black heart gave out. Her big, beautiful green mile heart couldn't take it. And it was full of a bunch of flies that were cancer. Her blind side arteries. Diamond, she actually touched me and she removed my

urinary tract infection. She blew a bunch of flies out of her big black heart. And then he claimed at her funeral, he's like, I've never even heard of Diamond. I don't know who Diamond is, but she's got big shoes to fill with silk being gone. It's like literally their whole thing was that they were twins. What are you talking about? Yeah, they're like Tweedledee and Tweedledog.

He's like, I love Laurel. I've never heard of Hardy. No idea who Hardy is. Love Laurel. Listen, I love a straight man with no foil. I think it's great. Sure, everybody loves Costello, but who's this Abbott guy everybody's going on i love rob don't know anything about big big his big big black car came out

oh man we should all watch robin big one night just to like pretend it's 2006 again it would be fun re-watching that and being like oh that guy's gonna become like tv hitler for rob dyrdek yeah so what is what does he do exactly what rob from robin big rob dyrdek is the ridiculous guy now that's the same guy so if you turn on mtv it's just him and that dumb retarded whore just like laughing at like yeah you know a kid in like palestine like getting a skateboard thrown through his head yeah you know and he's gonna like oh shit he goes anyway this is gonna be the next eight days of programming yeah tv i've always wanted to write on a show like that it seems so easy yeah i mean that show was fascinating because they were like we got to do like a show where we watch clubs and we have

like like people comment on them who should we get retarded whores people that can't even put words together right and they go i think our fan base is kind of too retarded to know these are internet videos so what if i have a big laptop i can stand on because people might think i just we these are sketches we made whoever that retarded lady is she should be like in a crib she should be in a crib and they cut her and she goes, ah, yeah. And like, as she's talking, cum gurgles up out of her mouth.

Her binky's a cock. It's literally a binky. I hate that fucking woman. She should be, she should be on the, her sole job in life should be chained up in the yacht from Taken.

I'm just kidding. Yep. Like there's a, there's a fucking pal, like a fucking Iranian guy, an Iranian businessman with a chainsaw just going...

Just diagonally across her stupid torso. She should be forced to live in a shark tank. An evil lair shark tank. You just see her floating around. Legally, she should have to live underwater. She literally should. With no oxygen. She's like, find my meat. Find's like fine by me she's down there

for like 40 years just fine yeah because she's she somehow figured out a way to live with no brain cells yep yeah dude speaking her her body's actually controlled by her implants yeah yeah it's like uh the last of us for whores yeah uh what's what's her fucking she just opens her mouth and lets like it just says tiny fish swims into it yeah i got it yeah fish swims in and carries out a little bit of cum that she swallowed yeah takes it back to his little finding nemo home i had the i had the you you sang the thing with the chainsaw and taken and stuff sure i had the funniest Uber drive. If you were God and you're like, I'm going to give one down to Ben today.

Yeah. He's been going through a rough time. Yeah, Ben's about to, his life's going to get ruined by this bitch kid. You know what? I'm going to give him a funny weird guy. Dude, he gave me Cholo with diamond earrings. He gave me Gaunt Cholo. Gaunt?

Yeah, like very, very thin Cholo with diamond earrings. He gave me gaunt Cholo. Gaunt? Yeah, like very, very thin Cholo. Okay. He was wearing like the Dickies like starched, like zip down beige, like businessman Cholo. Okay, right. You know the type of Cholo I'm talking. And he talked like this. And I'm like, great. Yeah.

This is amazing. Yeah. You just, you setting up your phone to record in the backseat. I look in the cup holder. He has a mug that has, it has the clown from It on it. Fantastic. It has Jason, the guy with the mask that kills all the campers. And it has Freddy Krueger.

And then the guy from Halloween, Mike Myers on it. And I was like, you like scary movies? He's like, I like love scary movies. I like love spooky movies. Me and my girlfriend who like, she looks like retarded and shit. My girlfriend dresses like the bride of Chucky

and we go to like Halloween Horror Nights and I try to we go to Not Scary Farm and I try to fist fight all the clowns that slide up to me. Like I just I love a spooky season. I go to a haunted house and I try to kill a guy dressed like a mummy. He lives at Not Scary Farm. For the month of October, he takes off work and he's just walking around like, it's so spooky.

Can you guys scare my big ditted weird girlfriend who dresses like Jack Skellington, but she's really fat? She dresses like all fucked up. She's all fucked up. Because I'm going to be shadowboxing the air in the dark. I'm just going to be like. So, dude, I was like, oh, you like scary movies? He's like, yeah, I like fuck with them.

I was like, yeah, I fuck with them I was like yeah I fuck with scary movies Yeah I fuck with them I was like what have you seen recently That's like really good He's like the Nightmare Before Christmas That was a spooky Halloween town That was a spooky

Very spooky He goes I just tell my girlfriend to hide And then I come home She's fucked up she shaved her eyebrows fool she told me to like come over and break in and between like 10 and 12. yeah she's up she's in like it's called like consensual non-consent and it's just kind of like weirding me out and i mean i still do it because like it makes me boss hella hard but like just like let me rape you like don't make all these rules around me assaulting

you you know dude so he uh he goes oh he goes have you seen saw 10 and i was like i have to be honest with you i haven't seen any of the saw movies saw 10 he saw saw 10 he's seen all 10 saw movies he loves saw it's like his favorite yeah he's seen 25 hours of saw movies it's his fast and furious dude he loves he's literally in a movie theater being like that's a fucked up trap that's a new fucked up trap dude what if he pulled out a delt fuck and he's like I actually made some

like fucked up Saw traps to show you like I've got some ideas I'm like Saw's biggest fan I'm like a big like what if you put like a tube in your ass and like put a cockroach in it you're like what's the he's like it's just like fucked up yeah he goes what people don't get about the saw movies is it's like kind of crazy if you think about it because like he puts them in situations that makes them be better people but he's bad yeah so like basically he's jigsaw is bad but he's like good yeah also it's like it's fucked with your head he fucking kills them

which means like they don't come back but like he's trying to make them better that's what he kept saying I haven't seen Saw they tried to make them better no no no Jigsaw like tries to make you better

oh like he fucks with you to like make you better so like is he bad cause he's trying to make you good oh god he's looking at Jigsaw like it's homeboy industries he's like

they're like Jigsaw like he's trying to reform like fools and shit industries he's like they're like jigsaw like you're trying to reform like fools and shit yeah he's like plus that little puppet guy kind of looks like my abuela dude so this is i almost fucking lost it i go uh i go so i haven't seen it like it's jigsaw that little thing like that little puppet on the bike and he's like yeah that's jigsaw but like there's like a voice for jigsaw and i was like yeah i know but like like who is like who plays the guy he's like no no no in the movie it's like a puppet and then like they have a voice like for the puppet and i go no no no i go i know that who's playing the puppy he's like no you don't understand what

i'm saying like there's not actually a guy who looks like that he's one of those guys that watches movies and he thinks he doesn't know about actors he's like is Chucky the doll like a baby he's one of those guys

that when a movie ends he goes the fuck's a director he goes why every movie show me these names what are the credits at the end

what the fuck is this he goes rest in peace he thinks it's all people that died in the movie in memory of yeah and then he gets He goes, oh, he goes, rest in peace. He thinks it's all people that died in the movie. In memory of. Yeah. Yeah.

And then he gets. Those are their baptized names. Then he gets in his car. He's got a wing on the back because he thinks it'll make it fly. He tried to explain to me for five minutes that he's like, no, like nobody, like the puppet is just a puppet. Like there's no actor that looks like that. I'm like yeah yeah

so it's like humans are made out of like cells and and like puppets are made out of like wood and i finally got i finally got through to him i was like yeah but who's like who's playing him he goes oh that's actually a good question it never occurred to me i swear to god he goes it never occurred to me that like someone's like doing the voice for it I was like alright yeah I was like alright dude he starts getting angrier

he's like fucking Jigsaw did the voice he just thinks there's a guy out there named Jigsaw but now I kind of wonder like do people watch

Chucky the doll and think it's a baby that they like get to play a doll that's why movies work yeah I fully think that's what happens.

Half the country can't read. Literally half the country cannot read at a second degree level. There's nothing to do with Cholos. It's everybody. He's just one of many dumb people. Yeah. They can't read.

I guess for like boomers and stuff, it makes sense because when you watch Star Wars in the 70s, you go, oh, there's a little guy inside R2-D2 who's like all fucked up and like doing all the beeps yeah yeah but now so now a boomer must watch saw 10 and be like who the fuck where'd they get this small little puppet guy with the tiny little legs and arms with the

fucked up face yeah i think that's what what genuinely happens and by the way if you do look like that guy you talk about job security. The little puppet? Yeah. If you look like the jigsaw puppet guy, I mean, no one's ever going to take your job. That's true. You don't have to worry about that shit at all. There are like three midgets who've ever made money in Hollywood. That's why really the best jobs in Hollywood is being like Andre the Giant or something,

where you're this big fucked up freak and they can't hire anybody else to play you yeah yeah I get three roles a year no matter what he cornered the market yeah I cornered the market nobody knows exists so I have no competitors yeah yeah exactly Yigsa Yigsa like I saw Yigsa and I was like so in my free time I make a candle attributes to like all the people who died in Saw and I put it yeah and i put them on the side of the highway uh just for the people who died in the saw movies yeah like i get like a bunch of big tall candles with like a woman with like tits and a goat face and i put them on i put them on the one end in the lanes he did the classic should have like honestly like no movie really like scares me though yeah like i never have actually been like scared in a movie because i'm like so badass like i want

to fight every movie i see me and my girl my my chica my my we just go to the theaters and i just try to i try to fuck up everybody i see and she's like like, no, Edward, don't. And I'm like, bitch. Bitch, you're lucky I had too many CBD sodas. I can't do it. He was like my favorite guy. Yeah, I mean, every time I go to the movie theater now, I'm like, God, I am swimming in a bowl of retardation every time you walk outside.

They ruin almost any showing now, just by being retarded. I bought tickets for Killers of the Flower Moon on Thursday, but it's at like a megaplex and i'm just like god damn it's just gonna be yeah it's gonna be a nightmare it's gonna be bad well there's no classic theaters left i know i can't go to the vista anymore the the chinese theaters immediately sold out yeah the chinese theater tricks you they go no no there's more showings you're just seeing it at the mall chinese theater it's which is just like a shitty theater for three thugs me and sean baker would always go to the same one really in uh the

lumere and uh beverly hills wait you hung out with sean baker no he would just always be there and he was like sean baker was in here he was just at the showing before you i was like that's cool get a life he was filming a movie on an ipod nano i love sean baker yeah i love him but fuck tangerine and that whole ad campaign yeah tangerine really sucks stupid iphones yeah i'll give him a pass he gets a pass i'll give him a pass i love it he's maybe one of my favorite new directors that guy he's awesome yeah but that's like the it's a theater that it's empty there's a there's a man with an autoimmune disorder who runs it with big glasses and he gets mad at you if you don't have a mask. And no one's there and popcorn's a dollar.

But then that theater is only there because rich people like to pretend they care about things like theaters. So they pay a bunch of money to have it stay open even though rich people don't go out and they don't do anything. They just want to know it's there. You know what I've always wanted to do? I've always wanted to go see like a fucking I've always wanted to like go see like a marriage story but like at the Magic Johnson Theater.

And just see how that goes. A Noah Baumbach movie. I didn't even know he had a theater. In Englewood. Are you kidding me? The Magic Johnson Theaters? Yeah. They're great. We should go watch movies there. It's probably way more fun. The Magic Johnson Theater.

Yeah, we should watch Killers of the Flower Moon at the Magic Johnson Theater. Is it like a Black Run Theater? It's like a Red Lobster with a screen. Yeah, it's an Alamo Draft House, but with other things. So they have a popcorn machine, but popcorn shrimp are coming out.

People are putting it in a bucket. You're watching the movie, and you hear a lot of people pronounce it like it's scrimp. People are going, bring me more scrimp. Scrimp. Can I get some scrimp? There's like a new little Wayne. He's like nine years old. He's getting his dick sucked.

Yeah, you walk up to the concession. You're like, all right, let me get some perp, some oils, concentrates. You go there. The last half of the movie, like Blueface and Chris Sean Rock are just like beating each other in the front row. He's giving her an abortion with his hand. I would walk in and ask him I would walk in and ask him if his gay son is there he's telling her to eat more hot tamales

so the baby dies he thinks hot tamales are like plan B god damn it shoving red hots up her pussy god damn it I've only done one black movie i saw a paranormal activity in like 2009 in a black movie like all black movies that sounds amazing it was it was fantastic i really do i'm not i you know it sounds you know racist and whatever but like but i my favorite experiences

have been watching movies in a predominantly black theater no it's such an experience dude i literally i watched the movie i was sitting i think between diamond and silk and it was just fantastic like literally the big titty white lady from white from paranormal activity like walking the closet and literally just like a stereotype being like you stupid evil bitch you dumb white honky bitch ass and i'm like this is a celebration of life yeah my friend went to a black movie theater in houston yeah and he brought in 240s in his coat and it was for the showing of precious and he said they were two great big fat black woman behind him and like a really skinny white

guy in the front row with a like a fat black Yeah, and they're going, why are we in the movie? It's like Uncle June watching Curb. Yeah. They go, Bobby, why am I on the television set? They go, that's not you. That's Gabriel Sedigui or whatever her name is. Remember the scene? For anybody who forgets the plot of Precious, remember when her stepdad is raping her and giving her HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

And so then the mom comes after her own daughter who's getting molested by her stepdad with the frying pan. They start screaming, oh, get her ass. Get her fucking ass. What the fuck? Yeah, she fucked your man. Get her ass. Oh, no. They totally missed the point. Yeah, she fucked your man. Get her. Oh, no. Like, they totally missed the point. Oh, no.

Dude. Oh, God. That's insane. Like, yeah, protect your mans. Yeah. Dude, I remember. She had to fuck her up. Dude.

She fucking her mans. I remember. I remember seeing that movie and getting to the scene where she steals a bucket of chicken and runs down the street. I think I blacked out. I blacked out because I go- You're like Hank Schrader. You drive into someone's yard

and stumble out of the car. Yeah, I'm stumbling to the aisle and vomiting. They're having to drag me out of the theater. I remember, see that scene, I'm like. I remember, I remember like, see that's, you know, I'm like, I'm like,

you cannot, I'm like, how did they let this happen in America? The projectionist leans over. He goes, you guys want me to rewind that and play that one more time? I usually don't do that, but,

uh, most crowds have been asking me to play it and run that shit back. He goes, I've actually added in a bunch of deleted scenes for you gentlemen. I can tell you would like this. Why does she steal a bucket of fried chicken? Because she's fucking hungry.

She's hungry. She's living in poverty. Is she still because she's living in poverty or because she's hungry? She eats it because she thinks the chemicals in it will kill the AIDS.

The movie is like a doctor's like ma'am you're very fat and you have AIDS and she's like and then she just grabs a bucket of chicken and starts running it's like what is this

and then Mariah Carey pops up without makeup and they're like wow that's really brave yeah exactly is she in the movie she looks slightly less fuckable

she plays the social worker social worker yeah I wish things with her and Nick Cannon would have worked out there are some things her big t I wish things with her and Nick Cannon would have worked out. There are some things. And her big tits. Her big tits.

And Nick Cannon's 14 kids. Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful. And he definitely has a thin penis, by the way, but go on, Jace. He looks like an asshat needle dick guy. Oh, for sure, yeah. Does he still do Wildin' Out, Nick Cannon? I mean, does anyone here watch Wildin' Out?

No, I mean, it's not on any channel, but they post reels and it's still like a thing apparently. Yeah, I think shows will just exist forever. If you're retarded enough, they actually pump Wild It Out directly into your TV set. They've identified your home for being retarded and there's like a... It's like they live.

If you're retarded enough, they'll send you like a thing that just says, obey and then Nick Cannon's face just says, Buy stuff. Don't think. I think if I had a time machine, though, I would go watch Precious in a black movie theater. That would be great.

Would they let you rent out a theater and do one screening of Precious? Perhaps. I've thought about doing a Lemon Party thing where all the listeners of Lemon Party in LA can get together because I think to run a movie theater it's like 600 bucks that'll be the first theater

with multiple shootings we could do like a live show before and then like 30 minutes and then start the movie oh we could actually that'd be really

that'd be great you don't want to do an hour because movies are long so you do like 30 we talk some shit we talk about the movie that's about to play and then we watch

a favorite of ours yeah The Whale yes yeah you know of course yeah beautiful yeah can we please and i i don't want to go back to the whale era that was a rough time it really is god i was explaining to my girlfriend today like there really is a moment where you figure out ben's new autistic like obsession and you're like god this one's much worse than the others yeah i can see you guys sort of emotionally being like, all right.

You grab a seatbelt and you're like, all right. Yeah. Like it's a road trip or something. I'm about to go 100. Yeah, I'm like, okay, it's golf. Okay, good. Oh, thank God we're into golf now. The whale was driving me up a wall.

Yeah, you saw it nine times. Yeah, and I didn't have a car. So I would walk like nine miles to a movie theater to watch it. That's insane. You hitchhiked to see the whale. Yeah. You had a big cardboard box that said need to see the whale yeah peewee herman style that is a good idea though then what to we all watch a movie i thought it would kick ass because i know like chapelle does that shit with uh when he's on the road he'll run out of movie theater and like smoke a bunch of weed in it and like you know i guess watch a

movie it would be cool to get killed by a guy dressed like Batman in our first live event. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It would literally be two shooters stand up at the same time and they're like, oh, do you want to? Yeah, you take it. They do rock, paper, scissors to see who shoots up the gator.

Yeah, it would be like a Tarantino Mexican standoff, but with our fans. Yeah, but I think fans. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it'd be fun. And we could all like, you know, just like smoke weed in the movie theater or whatever. It'd be sick. You could drink again. Hell yeah.

Yeah. I could start drinking again because there's no, obviously in a movie theater, like anything goes. Yeah. You can do whatever you want. Yeah. You can't jack off in them anymore. Apparently.

That's a big no. They installed the. They cut that out. Yeah. They the night vision uh cameras in movie theaters so is that a real thing by the way what because people have told me that those cameras are in every movie theater across the united states of america and they can all see what's going on i don't know i i will tell you i was gonna go i you know last year i wanted to go get jacked off in a movie theater so i googled it and they're like don't do. Cause you can get put on the, the sex offender list.

That's crazy. Cause they're, they're watching, watching. Yeah. Yeah. Like they can, I don't know if they just detect like a hand job happening next to like a bag of popcorn

or something. Aren't they the perverts? If they're watching like 16 year olds giving each other hand jobs. See, that's the thing. Like if you can see it, Hey, you get to keep it.

Go jack off to it, buddy. Good for you. I don't even know why. Like I, I feel bad for buying tickets to this movie i'm like i could probably just walk in the last two years every time i go to a theater no one takes my fucking ticket yeah i've noticed that i'm not kidding i went to a movie i went i saw the departed again with my dad last week at a theater my dad walked in and just goes yeah us we were and they were just like yeah whatever like all right fucking hairs fuck off stop talking to me they can tell it's gonna be an

annoying conversation yeah they literally don't even want to like because also they know nobody even cares about movies unless there's unless it's you know about a guy flying so they're like yeah there needs to be a cape or something like that people are like I don't care about movies unless the guy can't die and there's actually no conflict because of that exactly yeah by the way

I saw like someone was like like twitter kind of believed someone was bagging Florence Pugh or something like that like Florence Pugh's dating some guy or something like it's actually Iugh's dating some guy or something like a Zach Braff I don't know maybe she was dating Zach Braff for two years and it was actually really funny because people

like why is this happening and then somebody found a picture of her dad when she was eight years old spitting image of Zach Braff currently like with the Chad face or pre Chad surgery post Chad surgery interesting post Chad surgery. Interesting.

Him currently. So it looked like the dad looked just like Zach Braff. Dad looked exactly like Zach Braff. So it was like Holocaust propaganda. He basically, he turned it, you know, in SpongeBob when sometimes they'll have a zoomed in picture.

That's like a painting of them. That's like over the top. Yeah. It's like that. It all fucked up. He looks like Squidward. Like what happened to Zach Braff? I liked, he had that run. I garden state and then he just that was it for him i think he's just

a guy he looks like he just loves whippets too much yeah he would just do whippets and coke and just drive around la aimlessly in the fog and like he probably crashed into a couple of demore's pizzas and that was that i like to hear that okay with actually like i always respect when i find that like actors like get whiskey drunk and they throw haymakers down at like the worst restaurant you've ever heard the only actors i like are ones that like yeah like have problems big thumbs up i did i did like figuring out that toby mcguire is like a huge piece of shit and it's like amazing at poker like was won millions of dollars playing poker in like underground casinos that really sucks sucks. In New York.

That's really gay. You don't like that? That's really gay, actually. That he plays poker? That's really gay. Well. No, that means, like, he's, like, miserable and, like, hardcore. Yeah. You think so?

That's what I'm saying. Dude, people that play poker are fucking insane, dude. It struck me as a thing people get into because they think it makes them interesting. Is they're, like, really good at, like, blackjack or something. Those are guys who buy one poker table and they bring their friends over and they're like okay we're gonna do five cards and they fuck all the rules up and they have the little coins got it but the guys that really do it are fucking nuts like they get in bats where it's like you have to like get like tits like if i win and like then the guy will literally like okay and that actually rules

they're crazy yeah nuts they're all all on Ritalin and shit. Yeah. Dude, he's like Michael Clayton. He's in the basement of Chinatown, which is Chinese guys yelling at him. And one guy's betting his actual pinky finger because he's already lost his mortgage in his house. And he has to cut it off John Wick style.

Yeah, exactly. And give it to a guy at a napkin. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So I think that's pretty cool. Yeah, that actually kicks ass now i think about it i don't know why i was hating on it just the idea of a guy that like has his own like poker chips in his house and like cards and stuff and his well that's you know is watching like youtube

videos about how to count cards no no no no no no no you go you just go blind to the to the to the casino and you like throw away your whole family's like life savings yeah that's what you do and that guy's cool as shit that guy's awesome what a risk taker he is that guy does that specifically and it's a fun like uh psychology it's a guy who does it specifically for the moment when he's finally ruined his life walks outside he smokes a cigarette and he knows he's he's making the phone call where his wife is gonna leave him finally yeah and he's like god it rules because i really want to kill myself but i don't want to but i kind of do it's so free it must be so freeing it must feel like you're kind of flying because you're falling and if you're falling for long enough you think you're flying imagine imagine

you have your your beautiful daughter that's poetic imagine you have your beautiful daughter you're you're doing well in America. It's a tough year to live. And then you're like, you know what? I got 40 grand in the bank. Everything's going great. What if I put that all on one roulette spin? Your daughter's entire future.

Think about how rock hard you would get for 45 seconds. Because you don't have the balls to actually kill your family. So you go, I'll just kill him financially. Yeah, I didn't kill him. The ball did. The ball did. By landing in double zero. Exactly.

It's like that movie Lost in America. Yeah. But his wife does it all. Albert Brooks' wife loses all their money in Vegas in the middle of the night. It's great. And that happens all the time. Casinos actually have files for degenerate gamblers.

And, like, if you're trying to stop gambling, they'll call you up and... They've actually been caught, like, teaching people how to get a second mortgage on their house so they can get 40 grand and go back to the casino. Yeah.

Remember that movie, 21, where it was all those fucking, like, gay Harvard students, like, getting into poker? Yeah, it was the MGMT, like, Time to Pretend song. Kevin Spacey was teaching them all how to like fuck it.

Count to 14 and fuck it. Fuck the cards. He goes, now if you go over 14 put your dick back in your pants. He's doing Frank Underwood for some reason. By the way, speaking of killing your family, I have

a friend who he told me the other day. That he killed his family. Yeah, that he's going to kill his family. And I said, very good. Very good. You go, brother, I've been there. Brother. I just can't be genuine for a second and stop a man from massacring his whole family.

You have to be ironic about a guy literally telling you he's going to commit a horrific crime. Yeah, he goes, I'm having fantasies about taking my family and putting them in a big burlap sack after I drug them and dropping them in a river and I go, fuck life! And there's a pause.

You're in court. You're in court. You're in court defending yourself. They're playing clips of Lemon Party. Like, Your Honor, this is my likeness. This man does not understand what reality is. Your friend confesses to wanting to murder his family, and then there's a pause. You go, have you seen that video of that really fat guy

shoving an ass up his own ass? I'll get it up on the screen right now they hold up a big envelope they're like this is the gun the man used to kill his family i'm like hey there's skittles in there hangover three anybody hangover three lost in bangkok anyone do you learn anyone before throwing fruit at me my god the judge is sticking the gavel through your eye the judge beats you to death with a hammer the whole you suck so much ass that it causes people to get like a rage virus that takes over their brain uh oh but my friend he told me the other day randomly that he actually knew a kid who when he was 21 years old so he had a sister a mom and a dad one day he's just at the breakfast table before he goes to school and his dad uh hears uh a gunshot upstairs, and then he's like, was that a gunshot?

And his dad walks down and points a gun at him. It's the last thing he remembers, and apparently then he went in the other room, and his sister was in the living room, and he shot her, and then he blew his brains out in the living room, and he killed everybody, and the kid actually came out of a coma four weeks later, and they're like, yeah, your dad killed everybody, and he didn't leave a note and then he shot himself and no one knows

why he did that and he was like and they were like and this is your life now yeah and he was like holy shit and then that's then he just kept living his life after that he has no idea why his dad did that dad was like a totally normal guy he killed the whole family and killed himself no autopsy like toxicology or anything no nothing he was just he just decided one morning that he was good it was listen to one listen to one lemon party app he was yeah he was just a regular american man he was a yellow king and his name wasn't on the episode i forgot to put it in the credits and he just had enough he was just your average american man yeah that's that's that's fucked up it's always the most regular dude it seems like where it's like yeah he worked at kpmg

and you know he had a decent job and jesus but the only he was the only guy that survived the song yeah everybody else died jesus yeah Yeah. The bullet passed through his brain and stuff, and he went in a coma, and then he's fine now. And he had to relearn how to read and stuff, but he's mostly fine. Fuck. Yeah.

It's crazy that you go through that, and then you're like, yeah, and then I just sold aluminum siding for like 30 years. Yeah. So anyway. Because life is precious. Yeah.

Just like on a first day, like, oh, yeah, life is precious, but yeah, just like on it. Yeah. Like on a first day, like, oh yeah, my face. So yeah. Funny story about me. My dad killed my whole slaughter,

my whole family. And I have no idea. I have no idea why. Anyway, I'll never know why. I'll never know why. But you know, anyway,

here at Leslie's pool supplies, we believe in, uh, yeah, I would love a guy who, who like, he's tell somebody, they're like,

oh my God, you must be like really fucked up. He's like, you tells somebody, they're like, oh, my God, you must be, like, really fucked up. He's like, you know what? You win some, you lose some. Yeah. He goes, you live and learn. You live and learn. Yeah, let the apples fall where they may, you know?

To be fair, it wasn't Monday. Mondays, am I right? He goes, my dad's sarcasm was loading. Yep. Personality buffering. But imagine the trust issues you'd have with everyone in your life forever. When a member of your family does that. Yeah.

Your father who raised you. A seemingly good dad who there's nothing wrong with just decides one day to kill everyone. I mean, I just don't. I can't comprehend that. What is that? Is that like someone who's a complete sociopath and then they're completely fed up at one point? I don't understand when it just comes out of nowhere

and it's with the family. You know, you see stories all the time of like kid kills his parents because like they put them on timeout. You know, you're like, how? It's like a teen too. Like you should have some of your wits. You know what I mean?

Like you should know the when you kill somebody they don't come back yeah like i don't know i i i don't know i think it's uh microplastics or the vaccine or 5g could be 5g 5g i don't know maybe it's just really fun to kill your whole family you know yeah maybe he was taking a shower that morning he started thinking about it and he got so hard he busted the glass in his shower door he's in a glass he's in one of those nice glass showers with the thick glass you know what i'm talking about the thick warped glass with the head way up there with the big head like the jungle rainfall water yeah like it's rainfall yeah yeah and he's soaping up his dick because he hasn't fucked in like three months but he doesn't give a shit because he told his wife he loves jacking

off over the toilet way more anyway and he convinced himself for a while he loved jacking off more yeah he's fucked so little that he stopped asking his wife to fuck yeah so he's yeah he's lubing his shit up in the shower. He killed his family because he thought they were ghosting him and he wanted to fuck. He shot them all because he was pissed off. He was like, I've been giving you hints for years. No one comes on to me. The thing I do not get about that is...

Man, it's really crazy. Here's the thing I really don't understand about it. I get killing yourself. What I don the thing i really don't understand about it i get killing yourself what i don't understand is i don't understand you go oh but i'd feel so bad if i left my family behind who wants to live so i'm gonna kill them too before i don't think it's that i think it's a control thing i think it's like you have this massive psychopathic ego where you're like i brought you in you know oh i brought you into the world i'll'll take you back out. Yeah. Do you think that's a person snapping mentally?

Or do you think it's like they've always been hiding something, a great big terror, like a black cloud they've been sweeping under a rug their whole life? Who knows? That guy's dad could have had a few, maybe like four to five times in the last 40 years. He just drives through an alleyway and down, down, and just like shoots a guy like Anton Chigurh shooting like a fucking crow and just keeps going.

He comes home. Yeah. Has a beer. And he's like Stonefish. Yeah, Stonefish. Shoots a homeless man in the head. Just keeps going. Keeps going.

And just turns up the Allman Brothers. Just turns up Art Bell. And he goes, yeah, the aliens, they are out there. Who knows? It is easy to get away with murder i think like like what 50 of murder go unsolved even go yeah don't even go charged at all exactly so who fucking knows it's there's sick people it's weird to think that you don't know what people do in the privacy of their own homes you have no idea you you could be the my next door neighbor they could have a whole room

that's, he's painting it all silver colored and he's dressing up like the Tin Man and he's doing this right now. He's going, ooh. Yep. Ooh.

You have no idea. And I have no idea why. There's people, have you known Ruby Frankie? Who's that? I've talked about her on Haywatch a little bit. This woman,

she was a parenting influencer. Okay. And her videos would be like, she would like, you know, well, you didn't clean your room this weekend, so now you're sleeping on the floor and you're eating beans for a month. But she thought she was telling people how to raise their kids and she had a lot of followers and stuff. she was just like white woman in like salt lake city and seemingly normal family with like a tough love type of just weird thing her kids escape

her place they wandering through the desert good and now she's like going to prison for like a long time yeah because prisoners is not a good way a model to raise her and her best friend were like running this channel it was like it was like it was like if selena and the woman running her like her uh fan club yeah like they were like let's just take out like let's just torture our families i'm not gonna shoot you in the face well one day we will shoot your kids in the face and they're she's, though. Like, who knows what's going on? People that even broadcast themselves. You always think, like, okay, people that are broadcasting themselves

can't be doing these horrific things because they're putting themselves out there. Like, that's insane. But the level of ego and, like, yeah, she was torturing. There was that same thing with the Gabriel, the kid in, like, Lancaster. It was, like, on Netflix, the horrific story of Gabriel, the kid in like Lancaster. It was like on Netflix,

the horrific story of Gabriel Iglesias. Yeah, I'm not bad, I'm fluffy. Yeah, it was where the parents would make him do impressions of mufflers all day. Yeah, they kept choking him with Hawaiian t-shirts. They waterboarded him with a Hawaiian t-shirt. They sit him in a chair, they slap him, and they go, no, a muffler goes like.

Yeah, you get a haircut that looks like a faggot and you do stand up but uh yeah yeah it's it's it's like a different it was just like a different level of torture but yeah the kids like escaped the house they were starved they were and we're talking like mini minivan like like utah family so yeah who knows what's going on people that even like are making money off of like in you know like a guy that like does like a dieting channel where he like goes to the grocery store and he's like i don't recommend these chips they have sunflower oil seed oils are killing us all he goes home he's like talking he cares about seed oils and then he's like stabs his tip with a pencil that night like every night yeah but he's, yeah. But he's like, man, you had seen all that.

He captures a stray cat in a net, and he's like skinning it on his front porch. Yeah. Like with a fish knife. Yeah. Yeah. He's just insane. Everyone's so crazy. It's truly insane.

Everyone is truly bedoyal. Yeah. It's kind of insane. I used to have that problem in working in an office all the time, because you just have people. Everybody is insane, but then people just cover it with this lacquer of like hey almost hump day it's like two days till tgif right and then i would just always get like this vision of them just like in a dark bdsm club

like getting one of their nipples like ripped off yeah screaming yeah and then just like being like all right well that that kept the demons away yeah Yeah. You ever look at a coworker and you can imagine them sawing off a shotgun in their garage? You can see the whole thing. They're under a dimly lit lamp. And they just have a shotgun and a vice. And they're just for like 30 minutes until they saw through. And they hold it up and they go. Yeah.

I knew a coworker who I saw. I a co-worker who i thought was really normal hey jim hey yeah i was gonna get shut the garage really quick hey all right like great i have to kill my neighbor now fuck they're like damn it yeah no i had a co-worker who she was just like a nice normal lady i was like she's you know quiet like doesn't really talk. And then I saw her and her husband on Hinge and she was like posting like, yeah, so my husband likes to get chained up in hotel rooms and watch like grown men fuck me. I was like, oh, my God.

I'm amazing. I hearted it right away. Of course, you got it. No, we're a nation of Ted Bundy's that enjoy Thirsty Thursday. Yeah, we love happy hour. It's zero killers who love happy hour. If America ended happy hour, half the population would be killed. Yeah.

Could you imagine, by the way, if they made pornography illegal in the United States of America? Oh, I mean, yeah. The world would be over. It'd be Israel-Palestine. We'd be bombing hospitals and shit. There'd be like a guy named Rufus just bombing a hospital yeah dude if you if you outlawed if they outlawed alcohol again i know 10 people who would be dead within a day you know just from the shakes yeah exactly i met a guy like i was just at like a birthday party where you know you have

to go because your girlfriend and there's like 48 people you've never met in your life and one guy was talking to him and he's just like oh yeah you know he's like just looking at me talking about golf and i go god your only job in life is to turn beer into piss that's the only reason you exist on earth like you ask him opinion like you be like you'd be like a cool ranch street is he's like yeah they're chips huh and just like downing his ninth beer of the day yeah no down he has to drink nine beers to even like get out words yes yeah like one of those guys it's it i always think like like if i'm ever at a stoplight and i just see an apartment complex i like i see all the windows and i'm like okay 60 of the people in there are masturbating to internet pornography right now and in like it

literally at any given time any given time the other 20 it's literally a dice roll they're either looking up how to make something on the internet that is putting them on a watch list or they're pooping into a bowl and eating it with a spoon and then the other 20 are just like playing call of duty and i think that's it playing call of duty dropping making they a whole bowl of mashed potatoes dropping on the floor and then eating it off the floor they go best case and they go fuck it i'm not even alive anymore yeah i'm not alive yeah there's so many people going like it's it drives me crazy because it's literally people being like why do i not blow my family's head off at every waking moment but they turn it into like yeah i do these little figurines i make bird houses and that

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and two free gifts so get 20 off and free shipping with the code lemon at manscaped.com that's 20 off and free shipping with the code lemon at manscaped.com thank you manscaped and now back to the show very rarely do you see people that are doing something just for the enjoyment of it now like you mean so like used to people just like you guys am i crazy or did people just used to smoke weed and it wasn't like an identity? Or has it always been an identity? Am I way off here? It seems like people that smoke weed, I'm like, I'm sorry, are you employed by marijuana to smoke weed, sir?

Is this your job, your career? I'm sponsored by Bongs. Yeah. Yeah. Bongs pays me 60 grand a year to be a fat piece of shit. Yeah. They pay me to look like absolute refried dog shit. It became more of a thing because it turned into like kind of like doing hard drugs after what? With the dabs and stuff.

Yeah, yeah. You're heating up the rod. Yeah, you're smoking weed like a crackhead. That was the first time I started hearing, like I would have friends that said like, oh, I have to hit like two dabs before i can even get out of the apartment i knew we knew a guy who said he had to take four dabs before he walked outside and i was in my head i'm like i should put a rod in your brain yeah no i'm not like a drug addict but like i just need to like not even know like what's going on before i hang with my friends right i need to look at you and you know

i don't even know my own identity in this moment. He goes, no, I don't drink. I just like to show up to the bar with my friends and go through it. I like to have my brain going through the seventh layer of hell while I'm around people. I like to have all the thoughts that I've had hidden in the very back of my brain just on a constant loop like a bear catching fish in a fucking river. Yeah. Right inside here, my man?

It looks like Dante's Inferno. Yeah, no. I got all nine rings. I like to make the front of my brain feel like a guy in between two file cabinets. They're both on fire and he's just grabbing files and smoking cigarettes like a madman.

Yeah, I like to smoke so much the book of Revelation starts happening in front of me. I see like a big demon with seven faces coming out of the ocean. Yeah. No, I like to open the refrigerator up at 3 a.m. and just see bats flying at me. Hey, I did all this.

It's bad. I like to be hanging out at a bar talking to a friend and I turn and I see my grandma hanging from a noose in the corner. And I'm like, is that real? I don't know anymore. Does it even matter? Does it even matter? I go, it's five o'clock somewhere.

Hey, listen, I smoke so much weed that it follows demon has been chasing me around Los Angeles for nine years. It could be real. I'm a stoner. I just like to forget every single important thing anyone's ever told me. Yeah. I like to burn out the memory of my dad hugging me as a child.

Just completely polish that over from my brain. Dude, people's story... Everyone takes everything to such an extreme level now that I'll just... You guys will ask me about my drinking. I'm not ever eager to talk about like i'll just you guys will ask me about my drinking i'm not ever eager to talk about my drinking but you guys will be like man another day i thought about this and i'll be like yeah i used to drink 14 beers every night and like sleep in my car with like one foot out the door and people will be like ben's been never was even like that hard of a drinker yeah you didn't even drink that well and the people who say that are currently on

their 15th beer of the night yeah they can't admit it they go valium cuts out hangovers faggot retired yeah i'm like i'm sorry i didn't like i don't know what is like like i uh i see people that smoke like huge like like i'm gonna sound like a narc here i'm gonna sound like a boy scout okay i don't know how people are smoking the cone joints by themselves in one sitting the big fat the big fat how are you smoking one of those by yourself you don't know how that happens i'll tell you how it happens how dev you just start smoking a lot of weed and then it's like it's literally like meaningless so like i used to smoke i used to smoke multiple joints a night dude i watching tv i used to build up a tolerance too but that's crazy the big fat where it looks like a traffic cone the ones from the dispensary

that's a bit much that's great and weed is but here's the thing weed is so much stronger now than it used to there was a point where i smoked so much weed ben that when i was sober and not high i'd be like this is trippy as shit. So I'd be like, whoa. Being sober would be the new high. Being sober was high. And then I started enjoying that. And then I'd be like, yeah,

I was sober for like four hours today. I'm like, this is fucking crazy, dude. Mark's like, dude, bro, that's insane. I'm like, oh my God. I'm listening to what this guy's saying to me. This is trippy as fuck. What? Dude, today I didn't smoke weed and i listened to pink floyd it's crazy you can like hear music you can like hear the stuff coming out no i mean it's also funny every every person i met who's

like a chronic weed smoker and they're always like within five seconds of meeting them they're always like yeah i just it helps me with you know my like anger problems and then they you as you get to know them they have the intensity of jack nicholson and the shining yeah in every waking moment of their life yes they're like you know it just like chills me out and then you get you're in a car with them they get cut off in traffic they're like yeah i'm gonna tell you it's like you fucking die i'll cut your fucking face off and fuck it Fuck you No man Like weed just like Like it's It's like steroids

For my passive aggression I like to like Let it Like Like Like Linger I like to let it fester

And then out of nowhere I snap Yeah It is It's really like HGH For being a condescending guy Yeah It's like HGH

For like passive aggression. I've literally known guys who have like hit like a fucking, I've seen him like hit a gravity bomb like and be like, I hope his daughter fucking kills herself. I hope his wife gets her. Dude, I worked on that weed farm. I hope your baby's born with a club foot.

I hope his baby's I hope his baby's born is just blood. It's just blood that comes out. It comes out like the fucking eraser head baby, but even more fucked up. I hope it's even more fucked up than that, actually. I hope his wife dies on her birthday. But anyway, everybody should smoke weed because everyone would chill out finally. Dude, if I didn't have this weed, watch out.

I'd be angry sometimes. Yeah. Dude, when I worked- have this weed, watch out. I'd be angry sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, when I worked. Then he whips a plate at his wife's head. Yeah, whips a plate at his wife's head. Yeah, exactly. When I worked at this weed farm where the, by the way, the office was called the Dab Lab.

Right. When I worked at this weed farm, these guys were so high so constantly that when they weren't high, they were flipping the fuck fuck out dude like they would freak out over normal things like to be like fuck i heard the fucking post office like normal events in life were like oh they had to get high to like go buy bread like everything was so overwhelming normal life they make normal life harder by smoking so much weed is that why it's fun like after a certain point because you're playing it like it's like halo on legendary mode great weed's great it's fun because you get high and you go to the grocery

store and all of a sudden you're in a fucking it's like a journey yeah you know normally it's very mundane if you smoke a ton of weed and then you go to fucking Vons you look around you're like that guy's gonna kill me you're like ducking and like the fucking like sauce aisle and shit like it makes everything more like a video game so like every day is Lord of the Rings if you're just insanely high I used to say it's like smoking a

video game yeah I get that it makes everything a little more but that's psychosis yeah but don't if you smoke enough like you get to your point like you're kind of smoking it just makes you retarded you're just in a state of blotto yeah you're just kind of just like yeah you wander around yeah it's after a while you're like i'm not even thinking anymore i'm not i used to like smoke a week because it would you know unlock parts of my brain and i'm like wow i haven't really ever thought of that

before that's interesting yeah if weed was not as strong that's what i'm saying like if they made weaker shit i think it would have a better like more fun effect yeah i i do i like i want to smoke a joint and feel a little high at the end of just a little high yeah yeah now you've smoked weed and it's but insane i guess everyone's calling me a pussy now in the comments they're like you know also no if they were selling it no one would buy it because we're in America, you know. No one would buy what? No one would buy the, like, weed that doesn't get you that high. Yeah, it would just be guys like me.

They're like, no, no, no, I smoke it to be retarded because, you know, I think about killing myself every waking moment. Yeah. Most people smoke weed. It's really great, like, when you're at a certain age and, age and music is so much better in the car. You hotbox the car with your friends. You feel the vibrations of the music and it's great. But after a while, you keep pulling from that part of your brain. Then your brain starts kind of losing it.

And then it turns into you're sitting there in the car and you're pretending to enjoy the song. But you're like, is that bus driver going to kill us? Is he going to pull us over? Everything becomes insane. I like that carlin had a bit about it wasn't funny but you know it's a car one bit yeah yeah i still love all of his stuff but he had that bit where he said uh weed is a values changing drug where when your values are changing you should use it but then once your values stop kind of changing then you should stop because it doesn't really do anything for you because he says when you're starting to look at life from a different kind of perspective it helps you

shift and see angles of things that's what he said i don't know yeah he might just be and then by the way then he did cocaine for like 60 years and like after that. Yeah. You know, that kind of makes sense. Yeah. I mean, weed's one of those things where if it's not too strong, no matter how much you've abused it, if you occasionally take one hit, it will kind of like center some people. Yeah. Some people, you know, and it's also incredibly helpful with people that have like actual

disabilities and Parkinson's. Incredibly helpful with people that have actual disabilities and Parkinson's. I have a friend whose kid has extreme autism, Down syndrome, I guess. Not Down syndrome, but autism. Cerebral palsy. Is he epileptic and stuff? He would have insane seizures. It was a nightmare for the family.

He was Joe Rogan's best friend. Yeah, I know. The guy that Rogan used to talk about and we'd literally change or cbd cbd like completely changed their entire lives like turned everything around the kid like hasn't had a seizure in like seven years so yeah it's helpful i think it's awesome but it's abused by by guys that wear you know thanos shirts and shit thanos or whatever whatever yeah yeah yeah they should everybody should i think be more like the incredulous cholo which is like the greatest archetype just a guy driving uber just talking about the sauce yeah yeah talking about jigsaw yeah a guy where it's like you put a baby's brain in an adult you know and he's he's walking around it's i mean it's it really is beautiful it'll almost

make you weep because he's walking around life without the routine and familiarity that like takes the specialness out of everything he's just a baby walking around and being like they like pin those curtains into the wall like nails go through the curtain into the wall and then it stays yeah every moment he's born again because he sees everything that he sees for the first time dude he goes to the grocery store he could be inside a grocery store for 48 hours just like walking side by like just walking to be like it's like diet mayonnaise damn like almost crying damn yeah shit yeah but that's beautiful yeah taking his glasses off he's like they make green ketchup fuck yeah is he wrong that's the thing i don't know if he's wrong

a guy so dumb that he like raises his hands in celebration watching like an allergy commercial he's like they're so happy that company's gonna help so many people the pollen's gone i mean i have kind of had that taking taking while butring because i kind of felt like i've come out of a fog and i've caught myself like driving and i've just just like i've caught myself driving and just being like man it's just like having friends is really cool man i start crying because i'm so like yeah i'm like i have friends and they care about me and i get to talk to them but then i'm like we've been driving down is it supposed to make you have high highs and low lows no it's just supposed to like kind of make you you know not you know fucking jack off with a

hot pocket and then throw it in a pile you know by your bed it's like a grenade yeah like a yeah i fucking i fucking i fuck a pocket pussy and i rip the top off and i throw it if you plug your ears yeah such a depressed piece of shit i buy a new pocket pussy because i'm like i ain't cleaning shit it would be great if you were the billionaire gooner for each jack off you open a brand new pocket pussy that's never been used before yeah exactly yeah yeah and you put all your old ones like down the garbage disposal i'm like jack nicholson is as good as it gets but for gooning i'm just always opening a new pack and i'm like gotta keep them fresh and i goon without emotion like clinical like i'm standing in front of the sink yeah yeah

like you're brushing your teeth i goon and i put in a plastic bag and i drop it in a chute and my uh yep my uh very hispanic made and then your gay neighbor uh almost gets murdered and you adopt his dog and you start fucking the dog i was like yeah he's hurt because the dog likes me more and i go no no no no no he likes me because of this trick and then i'm like like like, Jeffrey, come here. And then I start jacking him off. I'm like, that's what you like. I'm jacking the dog off. Honestly, a better movie.

As goon as it gets. Oh, there we go. There we go. If a fan could Photoshop my face onto that poster and say, as goon as it gets. I love, what I love about that movie,

first of all, it's a great movie. I love that movie. I love as good as it gets. Always defend that movie. It's a great movie. What I love about that movie is As Good As It Gets. Always defend that movie. It's a great movie. What I love about that movie is I think, Jace, I don't think you've said this on the show before, but you've said this to me,

that you watched that movie when you were a kid, and you're like, that's the life. Yeah. That's the life. I could live in New York. I'm like, if I could be completely alone, no one in my life, but just the first 20 minutes of the movie i'd

love to torture a waitress you know love to make jokes about her kid dying again we all fantasized about like being old lonely men when we were like nine for some reason yeah when we were watching about schmidt we were like that guy's got the life i was like i just want to go down to the deli and have i want to be a regular. I want them to know my order. Legitimately, if I was a teacher of second grade and one of my students said their favorite movie was about Schmidt, I would call CPS. Yeah.

I would call CPS on behalf of the parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, this kid sucks. Get him away from this couple. Yeah. I'd call CPS and be like, dude, this kid sucks. Yeah. He's going to be a podcaster or some shit. Dude, get him the this couple. Yeah. I call his CPS and be like, dude, this kid sucks. Yeah. He's going to be a podcaster.

Dude, get him the fuck out. Yeah. This kid's 11. He watches About Schmidt. And he's like, it's me. Yeah. He carries a briefcase full of drawings. He does.

He sucks cock. He sucks ass. He's like the crazy old man Jack Nicholson. Yeah. He bought a fedora. He doesn't wear it, but I saw it once, which is worse because he knows it sucks, but he still bought it. Dude, we did that?

I did do that. I bought a fedora at 11. I never wore it a day in my life. And can I guess why you bought it? I'm going to guess why. Yeah, sure. It was because you thought the Blues Brothers was really cool. No.

Fuck you, dude. Fuck you. No, you didn't. I was not a Blues Brothers kid i knew like two retarded kids like two there was a fat guy and a skinny guy in my high school and they were both like the kid that like did their water just got shut off every now and then so they'd smell bad at school like and they'd usually wear like army pants but sometimes they would show up looking like dan akroyd and john belushi and blues brothers and like they went to goodwill and bought the black suits and they'd walk around with the ray

bands like it was like their friday thing yeah and they would quote like the you know give me a a whole chicken and four diet cokes yeah shit like that getting bullied by teachers like the history teacher's like hey faggot the principal calls him into the office and just starts beating the shit out of him we actually got spanked where we were from so i don't know if that joke is going to land actually yeah we actually got yeah we got spanked by the principal the principal would have a huge paddle and fucking wail on our and he would go he would call you into his little police interrogation room like sit you across from the desk and you're like tan and you'd be like all right i'll give you the choice you can take four days detention people won't think very highly

of you or you can take the paddling and you'd be like you'd be like well i'm not gay please i'm not gay please hit my ass with a piece of wood it was excellent yeah my child porn detention is working i got my shit rocked so many times, but then once I left Texas, I found out that's not a thing in other places. Because my dad beat my ass senseless with a huge board and belts. Not really.

It's more of a thing that, you know, it was like Al Capone handled his kids. That's more so for that era. It's 1910s, 1920 1920s it was funny moving out here like like i've literally like been out here this happened a month ago i was talking to my girlfriend's dad he's like 66 and i was like yeah you know my childhood you know my dad had a paddle he like you know like hit it like across her ass you know like i'm sure you had the same he's like no i never had that because my i had awful dad, but he never did that once.

I didn't have a dad like that. Yeah, like they don't set up the punishment. It just happens out of nowhere. Yeah, you're not getting punished like the French Revolution. Yeah. You're getting walked to a room. People that like paddle their kids is like if you were deaf, like your dad would have been like, fucking answer me. Snapping at you at the dinner table.

Throwing crackers at you. Look, he's a fucking idiot. Look, I hit him with the soda cracker. Couldn't even hear it coming. Fucking moron. He can't even duck. How's he ever gonna fight in a war, damn it? He learns sign language to abuse you verbally.

Yeah. He only learns faggot in sign language. And blood. He can do the blood, yeah. Okay, Jace, I don't want to miss it, though. Because if you didn't have the fedora because of Blues Brothers,

which really sucks ass, which is why I think you had the fedora. I mean, it still sucked ass, but it was because I wanted to be a detective. Detective, that makes more sense. That's why you had the flask. I had the flask and the fedora, and I would just walk around and be like, ooh, I'm a gumshoe.

I get that. Ooh. I get that. I get that. Like having a little candy cigarette you throw on the ground. I was embarrassing like that, too. I was embarrassing like that, but I had images of wanting to impress black people when I was a little kid.

Yeah. It's what I did when I was 22. This is serious, and I've never admitted this before. This is really crazy of me. But in my mind, ooh, this is juicy. Because I went to Memphis with my parents and stuff, and blues and all that shit. And I love basketball and everything.

And I was always nervous around black people. But I wanted them to like me. And I always thought as a kid, if black people ever buck with me, I would just talk black. But in my version of it as a nine-year-old or ten-year-old, I would just be like, Man, motherfucker, what the fuck are you talking about? I literally thought that's what I would do if I was around a bunch of black kids. You had a plan just in case.

I was on Beale Street one time and these black guys were jumping over their whole family and shit. It was one of those. All the kids and they were just like doing backflips over and everyone was like clapping and shit. And they brought me into it. And I remember in my mind, like if they ever like tested me, I would be like, man, shit, motherfucker. I don't know what you want. I was like 11 years old, like thinking about talking that way. Oh, my God. Like they were going to go like, oh, shit, he cool.

And they'd be like, oh, shit, man, you wild as hell. You wild as hell. Oh my God. Like they were going to go like, oh shit, he's cool. And they'd be like, oh shit, man, you wild as hell. You wild as hell. Let me in. Yeah. Let's let him say it. I have something

that's pretty embarrassing when I was 21. What? Did I ever tell you guys when I, that time I got like, I was browning out on 6th Street.

I got thrown out of three bars. I got thrown out of Whiskey Pig, Barbarella, and one other one. And then I got lost from my group of friends and i saw a guy who was six foot six and like 400 pounds in black and wearing like a red leather jacket and i was like it's patrice and i obviously patrice's dad at this point because this is like 2012. Okay. But I remember vaguely kind of just following this guy from afar and wanting to just hang out with him. Oh, God damn it.

You hunted him? What do you mean? You tracked him. Like you're an engine. I tracked him? Yeah. Like you're leaning down and like seeing like fucking air force marks in a puddle yeah so i followed this guy to like three bars where he would post up he would go to the bar like order a couple shots shoot him and like he was keep going he kept going so he was like bar crawling right with his like he had like two other black guys there he was with sure and he had he had the whole patrice like

classic thing right he was a big fat black guy that was like cool yeah and i was stalking him jesus christ and uh it's way worse than what i just said to this man this had to be like one of the most horrifying nights of his life that he still talks about to this day yeah he thought he was gonna get served yeah by an old japanese man yeah stumbling down the street okay can i tell you real quick yeah we were picking the story's not over yet but yeah go on just really quickly we were picking you up at the golf course like like two hours ago yeah and i was waiting in the car with katie and katie goes oh here's ben and

then it was just it was an old japanese man walking by the car oh come on you guys both thought it was me for a second yeah she thought it was you and then i turned i was like that's a that's a fucking 60 year old asian man with a bucket hat and big glasses and like a shitty mustache he started laughing on the green the other day because there was only one other dude on the chipping green and we you know it's you acknowledge that there's a person there but you don't look directly at them sure and me and katie both assumed it was like a 75 year old uh asian man the whole time and then we finally looked over i swear to god it was a nine-year-old chinese kid he was nine and then me and katie started laughing so hard

because i was like i thought it was like a seven-year-old japanese guy like walk around tripping she's like me too and i was like yeah but like what's the difference right you just think just old asian people get this big as they age you literally think they turn into the mushrooms yeah they age like benjamin button they're they're born old and they slow yeah they're such an efficient people they disappear when they die yeah so anyway this man you were going to kill that night i'm i'm hunting as devin said i'm i'm hunting a six foot six. Like very scary. I mean, if you've been around a black dude who's like six six and huge and is like looks that cool, it's very intimidating to be around.

Yeah. So he's my, you know, not to make a whale reference, but he is my Moby Dick and I'm Captain Ahab and I'm on the high seas and I'm hunting my whale. He's your M-O-B-B dick. M-O-B-B? Like Mobb Deep. Oh, Goody Mobb. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, Goody Mobb. That took me a while.

Goody Mobb-y dick. Thank you. Sorry, sorry. Thank you, Devin. I should have given you that quicker. I apologize. For those watching at home. Your Mobb dick.

Yeah. Point for Jace on the board. Very good. Very good. Mad Kid Fat City. Very good. point for jace on the board very good uh mad kid fat city very good uh so uh anyway so i follow him then the last bar he's at i kind of rather than just sort of like tottering in the corner and just sort of like looking around like i'm gonna like shoot up the bar i actually approached the bar because I realized because when you're browning

out you're coming and going and you're kind of piecing it's like memento is browning out what you call following a black person around sorry so you're browning out you're picking up pieces no that's what it's called when you get the daily show oh fuck I'm trying to remember what he So you're browning out, you're picking out pieces. No, that's what it's called when you get the Daily Show. Oh, fuck.

I'm trying to remember what he said to me, but I go up to the bar and they're ordering and I'm doing my classic thing where I have no grace or real social etiquette at all, even though I probably think I look normal, kind of. Yeah. I'm staring at him. By the way, i'm look normal kind of yeah i'm staring at him i'm probably by the way i'm probably a foot from him i think i'm at the end of the bar kind of looking down vaguely i'm probably staring into the side of his temple for all i know and he looks at me and he goes you've been following us

wow and i go i go uh yeah i mean i was at like you said yeah i go because i went like they're jumping from bar to bar like every 10 minutes taking shots and then going to a different place trying to get away from you and then they keep they obviously keep seeing a guy because at the time you remember the three-year span where i only wore red pants yeah so like and i had uh like a mustache and warby parker glasses and i was just drunk all the time yeah so like i'm hard to miss i'm also very tall you're very tall and you are walking like a 95 year old chinese man you're not trying to dance yeah you're not gonna miss me so he asked me if i'm fall after i'm by the way i'm literally staring and he looks at me like

kind of like side long and asked me that i was like yeah i'm like i was like at the last like places you guys were at but like honestly i i'll be i'll be honest dude i started i swear to god this is what i said this isn't a burt christian i swear to god this is literally like what i said i said i go i've been following you guys because like I just think you're like really cool, man. I was thinking that maybe I could like maybe naturally like hit it off with

you guys and we could like have a whole night together and we could like go from bar to bar and all this shit. And he like he looked down at his buddy. I remember he looked down at his buddies and they were like looking up at him because he's like the alpha. And he looked over at me, and he grabbed me like this, like on the neck. And he goes, you rolling with us tonight, white boy?

Really? Yes. He was cool about it. Yeah. That's awesome. This is where the story takes a turn. Ooh, okay. You lost your wallet.

So then we go to all these places places and he's actually buying everything. He's buying me tons of shots and all this shit. I eventually basically black out. I remember eventually one of my friends finding me and pulling out of this place. Me and him were like dancing together on dance floors and stuff. I was cooking like little B. They loved all of it, right? Wow.

was cooking like little b they loved they loved all of it right wow uh i get home the next day and i have his uh he has my uh thing on facebook messenger and he's messaging me and uh he was like yeah let's stay in touch and all this shit uh i put the pieces together later he's like he was the biggest loser like on planet earth he had like no job he had nothing going for him he's like a he was the biggest loser like on planet earth he had like no job he had nothing going for him he was like always trying to network with people he was like putting everything on credit right my relationship with him because i used to message him back and forth my relationship turned into him he's like he would call me like on facebook messenger and shit or video chat or whatever and i would never pick up and then he would message me like yo buy me dominoes right now I'm right here

and he would do this like once a week where he's like man I don't have any money like I need dominoes like give me dominoes now like I'm gonna fucking use this

this little weasel this white weasel that followed me this insane person and I like I kind of like looked at I sort of like

looked at his life on Facebook I'm like oh this guy's like a huge loser who has like one outfit and he goes out to the bars and like he's trying to impress people like me it's like a stalker realizing the woman he's trying to like rape and capture is like a loser and he's like oh

I don't I don't want to like I'm not trying to stalk you anymore no and I just want to be like like I was obviously I was probably with him I'm like here sit on this you anymore No and I just want to be like Like I was Obviously I was probably with him I'm like here Sit on this stool And like kind of lean And go

I mean it's like It's I mean Yeah I'm like say Be like incredibly intelligent And like a voice Of your generation

I also like to imagine I'm like come on Don't like ask me To buy you Papa John's Yeah Like be the coolest guy I've ever seen You're like him Because you're all the same.

Yeah, be a legend. I just like to imagine you just thinking this guy's shaft in your head the whole time. And then like, if you pop out of your head, he's just like the guy from Norbit walking around. Like the biggest. Oh, because I was so drunk. You're so drunk, it's like thinking of Fat Chick's heart.

You thought he was the coolest black guy alive. Turns out he yeah he's eddie murphy and blah fucking bullfinger he has a fake leather jacket he like he ordered from china for like eight dollars on ebay yeah and like he probably looked like shit honestly but i was so drunk i mean it's just at that point it's just shapes and blurs i'm like it's beatrice i just followed him yeah you were sometimes you were sometimes so drunk you would turn into the end of the Blair Witch Project, just facing the corner in the middle of the club. Yeah.

Yeah, this guy faced the corner and he pissed himself. Yeah. Stood there for nine hours. Just walking in a dumpster, like an NPC in a video game. I can't believe I would get thrown out of places, legitimately thrown out. Yeah.

Like people going like, don't ever come here again. Yeah. Knocked over the DJ booth. I think that night or either maybe the week after. Kind of had some fun times in Austin where the guy has a fold-out table laid out at the bar. And me and my friend were dancing and I fell back over and I knocked over his stand with the speaker and fucked up everything. And it was like, and the thing ripped out and like the bouncer was like, I got it. I mean, I know.

He was obviously have to like, you know, ask you to leave now. And I was like, I get it. I get it. I get it. Yeah, I saw some black guys out front. I'm going to get my scalp on them. Yeah, I just dropped this geotag in this black guy's pocket. Just dropped an air tag in a black guy's Air Force. Dude, I'm going to follow him all night.

Just pulling out a big screen with an antenna you pull out. You're sitting in a white van in the hood, just listening to conversations going on. You're driving around with the beeping device from No Country for Old Men. Just seeing the beep get like closer together i pull up to a kentucky fried chicken it starts beeping even louder yeah you pull back you see if you drive by it's as you're getting away it's beep beep beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah. Very, very good.

Yeah, very bad, actually. Very bad. I do kind of miss being a terrorist, though. It really ruled. I remember, like, I remember one of those nights. It might have been that night. I was, like, cooking, like, crazy on the dance floor, and I'm, like, not aware of where I'm at in, like, space and time at all.

And I go like this, like I'm flipping, like, a fake hamburger, and I just hit a girl's drink as hard as I can. It goes all over her, and she's just dripping wet and petrified. And I just go, I just scramble like a spider out of the club. You run like a cartoon. You pop up in the air and go, and then take owning none of it not apologizing just yeah just running away it completely ruined her night it's a good ten dollar drink yeah fun time that's awesome if i could go back and do and relapse and go to barbarella and just have one more night with the worst people on earth and then die in a mass shooting

after I'm following around that big giant black guy that would kick. If I could have one night with that giant black guy that's six foot six Patrice lookalike guy and if I could go to the comedy mothership and just like watch Kill Tony

drunk out of my mind. Oh make no mistake if you were on 6th Street. If you were 21 now, you'd be in Austin getting raped by Ron White one night. Yeah, in the river that runs through the town. Yeah, you'd be dating Tony Hinchcliffe secretly. Not even knowing it. Yeah, that black guy was just David Lucas. Well. That black guy was just David Lucas Well Anyway I think it's time to say goodbye

Yeah But we gotta go over to the Patreon Yeah we're Somehow More racist than this actually We're not even No I'm kidding I'm kidding

It's jokes It's all jokes It's all jokes. It's all jokes. It's all jokes, obviously. It's all jokes, obviously. Everybody's JKing. Everybody's joshing. It's nonstop JKing. Hashtag pray for Israel.

You know, they need a lot of prayers. They're bombing a lot of hospitals, and it's very hard. These Palestinian kids are little fucks. And they'll be dealt with accordingly. I'd like to spank them myself. Did you know the problem was children? Yeah. Did you know the problem was children's hospitals?

Did you know the problem was little brown children? Fuck them. They need a good little spanking. Those little demons. Spank them. Spank them with a nuke. Patreon.com. For more episodes and golf content and all that stuff.

And Devin is at Hate Watch Pod. Jace is at Sad Drawings by Jace. Live streams on the Lemon Party Eclipse channel. Make sure you subscribe to that. Every Wednesday, 4 p.m eastern standard time or pacific standard time and then they go up behind a paywall after 24 hours on the patreon so god bless everyone god bless everyone goodbye god bless good night good night everyone all right very good good stuff fellas do we need to cut that story out that i told at the end or

is it okay? No, I think it's fine. Okay. I didn't know whether to tell it if you guys were like, no, it's too fucked up. No, I don't think so at all. You're beating me. Dramatisk musikk Thank you.