lemonparty - 055: Nightcrawler

Episode Date: November 14, 2023

recorded driving down Ventura Blvd, down Topanga Canyon into Malibu, along the dark sea, and up the 405 home more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty https://www.bluechew.com use promo code lemon Head to https://displate.com/lemonparty?art=6436834caeb92 (https://displate.com/lemonparty?art=6436834caeb92) and use code LEMON to get Displates up to 30% off. ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's a lot of freaks that will recognize this girl. I'm on the light wheel Always in my face Talking, listening Girl, I had the best of me There's a lot of freaks that will recognize this girl. Yeah, they literally go through the fucking that guy who finds dead relatives' pictures. I guess the only thing is, I mean, since I duct taped the phone to this, to the rear view,

I can't use the rear view anymore. So that's the only dangerous thing about doing this, I guess. Oh, fuck, come on. You used to drive rear view. I can't use the rear view anymore, so that's the only dangerous thing about doing this, I guess. Oh, fuck, come on. You used to drive a fucking, you know... You used to Uber drunk. You used to drive a piece of duct tape with wheels. Yeah, you drove like an electric car that had like fucking new plutonium inside of it. This kicks ass.

And your Tesla honestly used to suck ass. Can I be honest about that Tesla? electric car that had like fucking new plutonium inside of it this kicks ass and your tesla honestly used to suck ass like can i be honest about that tesla that was the the like it you felt every bump in the road in that piece of shit you really did it was a it was a it was a iphone jalopy and if you tried to like change a song if you tried to change the air condition you had to look away from the road for like 45 seconds. Yeah, you have to look at a giant plasma screen to just fucking turn the defroster on. Yeah, you have to run a treadmill while you're driving in L.A. traffic at 70 miles an hour. Oh, look, this is a retard with a Model Y, a 2022.

Oh, the Model Y 2022s, they lost. If you buy a new Model Y 2022. I'm going to run them off the fucking road flatten the motherfucker yeah this is the first podcast that'll be used in a deposition hey should this podcast basically just be a duel where we get with this model why we run them off the road and follow somebody let's follow somebody into the hill you know what i kind of wanted to get into and i'm not jokingvin? I wanted to kind of get into stalking, where I

choose a stranger and I just stalk them and follow them wherever they... Ben, I'm way ahead of you with that. I stalk multiple people in my neighborhood. There's one woman up the street. She has a great rack and she loves Yoplait. Right. And she leaves her back

curtains wide open. Ben, you'd be a great stalker. I would love to stalk. You'd be a great sleazy private eye. Like the guy who you'd be like the guy in a fucking what's the Coen Brothers movie?

Where they're all gangsters. Miller's Crossing. You'd be the guy in Miller's Crossing with the pencil thin mustache who's like going up to a mirror while the wife's getting fucked and being like, cha-ching, cha-ching. Oh, I would love that. Sending a jalopy eating peanut shells. Well, obviously stalking, it's sexual. I have no interest in what anyone's actually doing.

I want to follow them home. Is that a tumbleweed on the fucking road? Dude, that's an actual Old West tumbleweed in the middle of the road. I thought that was Gracie following us. That is, come on, that's Hamas. Yeah. That's weird. That was a cartoon tumbleweed in the middle of the road.

That was like a fucking anvil in the middle of the road. Yeah. Hamas is attacking the Old West through tumbleweeds. Ben, let's drive around these weird old neighborhoods. I just keep checking the phone. I can only see the slit of it through the glass to see if it's still recording. You can't tell if it's recording?

It seems good because it's the red square. If it's on, yeah. If it has the red square, it's recording. The red square is recording. We all know what the red square means. It means you have the ability to stop the recording. Yeah. Famously, this is what the red square means.

The red square is what people are posting on Instagram in honor of Killers of the Flower Moon. In support of Leo's character. Yes, exactly. In support of poisoning your Native American wife. Because you love money. I love money! Such a funny...

That's the ultimate retard thing to say. Oh, do ya? Do ya love money? Yeah, at a poker game, like trying to impress people, you go, I love money. You're just like, oh, nice to meet you. I'm just an id, and then nothing else. You go, I love money?

Oh, my dead matches, I love pussy. I also love shitting, and I love sleep. You know what's great is if Leo was born in 1980, he'd be the best motorboat salesman of all time. He'd just be working at a bass fucking boat. Bass Pro Sports? Yeah, like a Bass Pro, the Pyramid in Memphis. And he'd be like, I love money and pussy and you're gonna buy this bad boat you're gonna get so much dick sucked on this

bass boat and then he'd go home to his like fat Indian wife and be like honey I made 200 bones today Indian or Native American Indian Indian because he got confused his Robert De Niro uncle told him to marry an Indian So he married a woman named like Poonjar Yeah he's telling his Native American wife to make him tikka masala He's like I married an Indian her name's Poonjab Fleaboflat You won't let me give you the fucking insulin with your old pee-Tank to come again. Bullshit. He's

completely wrong. He's trying to get the 7-Eleven fortune. You know, when I was a kid, I know this is like a hack joke online, but like sincerely, when the lights were on in the car, my parents made me think that like we were all gonna get like killed or

arrested and taken in yeah i think every i think everybody's parents why was that what was why i've never heard of that you've never your parents now you never turned the lights on in the car and your parents were like okay only for like five seconds or else we we detonate if the cops see it like we'll get arrested yeah they always used to act like you would get like in a lot of trouble if the lights were on i think it's literally it's just parents it was parents being of trouble if the lights were on. I think it's literally, it's just parents. It was parents being annoyed that the lights were on. So rather than being a good parent and asking you to do something, they had to instill fear.

It was basically your dad being like, I don't want to see your fucking mom. Hey, if the lights are on, you guys are going to see me jacking off while I drive us home from Disneyland. I don't want you guys to see that my dick is out of the hole. I'm doing Sigma face because I can see Chick-fil-A. Oh, man. Look at it in all its glory. Look at Chick-fil-A in all its glory. Yeah, Ben said let's do a drive-

So, wing! Ben said we should do a driving app, and we said, why? Are we going to Chick-fil-A Yeah We're gonna have someone from Hell yeah That works at Chick-fil-A On the podcast

Okay Kill that Kill that fucking Czarny of brother That just walked by That suspicious Fucking weirdo Tsarnaev

Tsarnaev yeah He was hot though I get why everybody Wanted to fuck him Oh they gave him The cover of Rolling Stone Yeah he was a real cutie He was really cute

Yeah but we Ben was like We should do a driving podcast We were like why And he's like We can go to two drive-thrus You gave him the cover of Rolling Stone. Yeah, he was a real cutie. He was really cute. Yeah, but Ben was like, we should do a driving podcast. We were like, why? He's like, we can go to two drive-thrus and do a bang-bang. Ben's like, imagine us getting fucking milkshakes. That'd be great. That'd be hilarious. And this is how much Ben, like Ben secretly craves being fat, but he's not brave enough to embrace it.

I'm not brave enough. You're actually like a coward about being fat. I'm capable of extremes. Ben, once again, embrace modernity. Yeah, so you have to create enough to embrace it. I'm not brave enough. You're actually like a coward about being fat. I'm capable of extremes. Ben, once again, embrace modernity. Yeah, so you have to create schemes to get fat. You created this podcast to get fat. That's it. Here we go.

Hello, sir. Hello, sir. We're faggots. My name's Ben. Is that peach shake, is that a seasonal thing? It is, right? So it's not in season anymore is it Right Cause I saw like at my farmer's market

They don't have peach anymore The season's up man The farmer's market doesn't supply Chick-fil-A You fucking moron You have an Oreo shake You guys still have that What are you kidding I'm just gonna do the vanilla

I'm gonna behave tonight The Oreo it's like 300 more calories Yeah no? I'm just going to do the vanilla. I'm going to behave tonight. The Oreo, it's like 300 more calories. Yeah, no, no. I'm going to behave. Yeah, be good. What do you get? You always want a Coke Zero?

I'm fine. I had a lot of Coke Zero at the house. Can I have a Coke Zero as well, Devin? I'm fine. I want a sandwich really bad, but I'm okay. Can I have a Chick-fil-A sandwich? Oh, wow. You want a Deluxe? You're really getting me one?

Yeah, I'm going to get one too. Give me a Spicy Deluxe. Can I get a spicy deluxe combo? No, I don't want the fries or anything. Okay, you get that. Yeah, and then nix the Coke Zero and make the Coke Zero for his meal my Coke. You know what? Can I actually get a small

Coke Zero as well? I changed my mind. Thank you. No, that's it. That's right. Very good. Did you get a spicy deluxe too? No, I just wanted the drink. You just wanted the milk shake.

You better not steal my spicy deluxe. Chick-fil-A sauce. Chick-fil-A sauce? Yeah, do you guys want any sauce? Chick-fil-A sauce. I'm just having a Coke Zero. I'm okay, I'm okay. I don't need Chick-fil-A sauce.

I don't need a sauce chaser for my Coke Zero. Alrighty, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a nice day. Fuck gays. Fuck gay people.

They give us like extra. They go, hey, a nice day. Fuck gays. Fuck gay people. They give us like extra. They go, hey, free order for the fuck gays. If you show your Bible at Chick-fil-A, they give you $20. Can I tell you, I would rather pull my dick out in a library than do that again. What we just did. Pulling up with microphones and doing bits like a fucking teenager well we're kind of hiding the mics i don't think he knew the wiser i was i was pointing at it the whole time because i think it's like those consent recording laws i think it's like when you're

recording somebody to try and get them to admit to a crime on the telephone now literally i wish i had a like a fucking shell around my head I could crawl into while we did that. No, this rocks. This is great. Just embrace nothing meaningful. I embrace it by asking for Coke Zero. That was my version of letting my hair down.

I'm glad Ben drove off because I was about to order two more sandwiches. Were you really? Oh, yeah, because you had all the tequila and the Topo Chico. I'm hungry. I had a salad today. That was all I ate. No, but you had all the tequila and the Topo Chico. You're like, I'm hungry. I had a salad today. Well, yeah.

That was all I ate. No, but you have no prefrontal cortex. You've destroyed it through your hedonism. Yes. Me, on the other hand, I'm like a monk. No, right. You're a monk. Ben's like a monk who has to set up a heist to get an Oreo shake every time we record.

Yeah, you're Ronald McDonald, the monk. Yeah. Ben's like, you know, we should do a podcast from the saturated fat factory. We're like, Ben, just go get a chicken sandwich by yourself, and then we can record normal humans. Fucking Morgan Spurlock over here. Yeah. I'd love if he was just like, you guys doing a podcast? I got a podcast.

You know, I used to think that I didn't hold grudges But I can name every Fast food restaurant in the city of Los Angeles That has fucked up my order once And like I never forget it Really? And I always am worried that they're gonna fuck it up again They fucked up my order here once They put cheese on my spicy deluxe and I asked for no cheese

You don't like cheese on any I get cheese on everything No no no not on a Chick-fil-A sandwich that's disgusting No it's not. It ruins the flavor of the chicken. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. You fucking mutt. You fucking sick. You fucking

Gentile fucking retard. Devin's gonna wait for us to hit 50 on the highway and just jerk the wheel. Oh, cheese has never ruined anything. And then one time I had breakfast here and they brought me a sausage muffin instead of a sausage biscuit which there's a huge fucking difference.

Well, you should burn the place to the ground. Okay, I get that. Obviously, I don't get mad with people. Oh, hello. Thank you. How you doing? Thank you. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Lemon Party podcast by day. All night. Alright. Fuck gays. Yeah, they're like, yeah, this is the fourth podcast we've had today

They're like, yep, Ari Shafir and the boys just rolled through So you got a small Coke Zero I had a small Coke Zero, yes, thank you Did they give you a little straw for that? Dude, I don't think we got straws Unless it's in Devin's bag Devin, they give you straws? So I'm going to put...

Two straws coming up. There's my shake. Two straws, boss man. Okay, there's that. Take your straw. I mean, if it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have any fun, let's be honest. Take your straw. Ben, straw.

Oh, Jesus. That's good stuff. That is a good Coke good coke zero now i know what you mean there's uh every time i've gone to mcdonald's i have a very specific fat mcdonald's order which is i get 20 chicken nuggets and i i have to say this into the window i say give me three hot mustard and three ranches and i will pay for the extra sauces. And then they put, what they do is they always put one hot mustard, one ranch on the screen. And then I go, no, three of each. And I make them put it in and then I get it in the bag.

And sure enough, it's like one of like each. And I've literally turned my car around and like gone, like marched in and showed them my receipt. And be like, you owe me four ranches of each. And they look at me like I am Sam, just walked in. As I walk in all indignant and I go, a crime has been committed. Yeah, we're going to need to see your receipt for that

and you slap it on the table. I slap it on the table and break my wrist because I've been eating McDonald's for five years. Yeah, it's like a fat lawyer walking in. Where are we going, Ben? the table and break my wrist because I've been eating McDonald's for five years. Yeah. It's like a fat lawyer walking in. Where are we going, Ben? Let's go. Remember that last time we were driving in this car, we almost got shot by that mass shooter. Yeah. We came upon like the, uh, the Caldera in a no country for old men where like, you know, they had all the Mexican brown dope and all the dogs were dead. We came upon a guy just trying to get some insulin from his health care center.

Yeah, we drove into a John Q situation. Oh, a Porsche dealership. Well, there you go. You know what's funny? As the economy continues to get worse and worse and things become more bleak, you could have a No Country for Old Men style movie, but their briefcase has $30 in it. Yeah. It's like it's like 35 okay he's risky his entire life putting his family in danger he just found a

wallet in a brooks brothers outlet shop it's no country for old men over a lotto ticket that hasn't they they don't know the info about it yet it It hasn't come out yet. It's just a lot of debit. Yeah. From like last year, so it's not even valid. It expired. It's a guy with, it's Llewellyn Moss with $35, and he's like, I'm fixing to do something dumb as hell. I'm about to buy an eight-piece at KFC. Yeah.

Llewellyn, what you got in those Three pieces of paper in your hand Polynesian sauce You ask any more questions I'm gonna take you in the back And fuck you stupid pussy What a city What a beautiful city Wow

Greek market Piolis We gotta go up this way more often That place sucks ass I went there with my wife Los Angeles loves waffles That place Steak Market, Pioli's. We got to go up this way more often. That place sucks ass. I went there with my wife. Los Angeles loves waffles, that place? It was called Ann Waffles or some shit. Fuck any fucking place on the West Coast doing the waffle and chicken thing, okay?

It was really bad. I make better fried chicken and waffles at home. Well, we know. You're a big fan. Yeah, well, you go down to your basement and have them make it real quick. That's how you get that chicken all nice, you sick bastard. You fuck.

You go tell Margaret to make it for you. I stand up at the top of the stairs to the basement. I'm fingering my belly button. I'm like, which one of you is gonna dip the chicken in the egg? You're like the guy that owned the house in Barbarian. Yeah.

1940. You walk down, you go, all right, stop singing Wade in the Water. We need some waffles. Quick. Man, it's just car dealerships, huh? I should probably. By the way, I'm going to get out of the car real quick. Why?

I'm just going to leave the where wherever i want and just start walking i would say would that be if i did that you just wander we go i guess that's the end of the show i just start wandering traffic we have to drive back and be like yeah i think ben um just left you it'd be crazy if i died this way i stepped out of the car right now and i died yeah died podcasting i got hit by a Rolls Royce. Died in the content wars. I'm just going to check to see if it's recording. But I have to look through the front of the car through the windshield to see if it's still.

And I don't want to do like a death-proof thing where I climb onto the hood of the car. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go check. Yeah, go check. Go walk in front of this Captain America tire cover right here. I know they can't see it on the thing, but there's a white fucking Jeep

with a Captain America shield tire cover. Ben's lying. There's like a hooker walking by and Ben is propositioning her. He's like, are you going to be here later? He goes, I'm doing a podcast. I'll be back later. You want to go to Red Lobster? Yeah, we're good.

Ben would be the guy who'd take a hooker to Red Lobster. Oh, yeah. Like, he needs to make a date of it or it's too unclean. Okay. All right. Back to the road, Ben.

Very, very good. Very good. Keep driving. I'm excited to see this neighborhood. Oh, I mean, the valley, it's beautiful.

The copper mine. All these places, this is, every guy at any one of these places is with his mistress. It's a Thursday at 11 p.m. Yeah, he told his wife he's doing a late night at the office. There's a fat burger.

You know Tyler, the creator's there just fucking tormenting fucking employees there. Well, I love we just drove past the fat. love, this is the great thing about the Valley is that it really is America unmasked because it's just car dealerships and restaurants called like Fat Fuckers. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, that's our country. It's a Lexus dealership next to a Fat Fuckers chain restaurant. Yep.

And there's an Amazon Go place for everyone to buy their ring lights. So they could, you know. And there's a bus stop you drive past and there's three. Turn your lights back on, maybe. Oh, yeah, right. There's a bus stop you drive past full of like three 80-year-old Mexican women who are just like, you know. They're taking the bus to the desert to go die under a rock. I clean the hills. I clean.

I go up to the house and I eat the shit. Mr. Johnson, he thought I stole the hills. I clean. I go up to the house and I eat the shit. Mr. Johnson, he thought I stole his pen. He made me come back. It's my newborn's birthday. He made me drive back. Three hours to show him that I did not steal his pen. I go there every Tuesday because he fucked his mistress at Fatburger. And he said, I need to clean calm at the Porsche

and he said I stole his Porsche pin he got from the sales event. That's a good Dunkin'. It sucks ass. You know what I mean by that. Of course. I love when a Dunkin' sucks ass. That means it's a great Dunkin'. It used to be a bank. The ceilings are too tall. The woman behind the counter, she has one eye.

I love it in there. I've gone into Dunkin' before and it looks too good and I walk out. I wanted a cake ball that looks like granite. I wanted a bear claw that looks like it's made out of caliche. Wet caliche pushed together.

I'd like to open up a Boston Cream savings account. God, Ventura Boulevard. It's like my Sunset Boulevard. I'm going to make a film called Ventura Boulevard. It's like my Sunset Boulevard. I'm going to make a film called Ventura Boulevard. It'll be my Mulholland Drive. Yeah. And it'll be way better, even if you filmed it on the iPhone.

Goddamn you, Devin. He stinks. You fucking hater. Fucking hater cuck. By the way, speaking of having a maid and stuff, if I became really rich, I think what I would start doing is Caligula style stuff, but only stuff that would make me laugh. I would want to salary a maid. I'd want to shut off the water to my home, and I'd salary a maid to eat all of my shit

out of the toilet. How much would you pay? I said it's a no flush house and all the shit that comes out of my ass must be eaten with a spoon from the bowl. Right. And you give her, you've planned out just enough money where she can't turn it down, but it still really hurts her inside. No, it's $30,000. And she's sending half of it back home to her family in Columbia. And she can find a better paying job, but you've threatened to call ICE on her.

That's the only reason she's doing the job. And when you tell her about it, she goes, oh, not again. Because it's happening all over the city with her. She's like, this is my third job. I eat shit. Oh, no. What is with the white people in the valley? These white people, they got Bitcoin.

They went crazy. What the fuck is Shacktoberfest? It's Shaquille O'Neal and he's holding a pumpkin. It's where you enter a contest for Shaq to fuck your wife. It's like a $10. You pay $10, put your name in, and then Shaq draws it out. Okay, boys. I think we found our next bang bang, because we're cruising right now.

I don't want to go to Jack in the Box, dude. Don't do that. They have a great Oreo shake, and it's $4,000. If we go to- But it's about to be done. Keep going further. Let's go as far as we can go. I didn't even know the street kept going.

Me neither. If you go to a Jack in Box. It's like a video game where it just sort of stops. If you go to a Jack in Box, the employees will steal our recording equipment. That's how shitty Jack in the Boxes are. They're recording on a catalytic converter. Hey, straight up though, those tacos, they be smacking. Yeah, they be smacking.

They're the most eaten food in America. Is that true? Jack in the Box tacos. Oh, yeah. That's actually really sad. Yeah. Well, that proves, I mean, that's why we look like that. I think we're doing just fine.

It's the only taco I've ever seen with sweat on it. Yeah. The taco comes with a headband. I just realized I'm probably slurping it in the mic. Oh, I don't know. I can't hear much. Oh, okay. There's a bowling alley.

Should we go there and shoot it up? Should we go bowling and then shoot up a high school at 7 a.m.? Ooh, dad. I want There's a bowling alley. Should we go there and shoot it up? Should we go bowling and then shoot up a high school at 7 a.m.? Dad! Dad! Dad! I have my rifle in the trunk. I want to go bowling.

Yeah. Writing Santa, I want a gun to kill my teacher. A Christmas story. Ralphie kills his whole class with the BB gun. To kill my teacher. A Christmas story? Yeah. But Ralphie kills his whole class with the BB gun. He keeps asking for a gun, but they're like, you'll shoot your teacher's brains out. He's like, no, I won't. I promise.

Santa is like, you'll shoot your class up. They push him down the slide. Push him down. Ooh, nice little twisty part. I don't even know where we are now. We're like... I've never been this far west on Ventura Boulevard before in my life. This is nuts.

Crazy. It's just, there's a McDonald's across the freeway. No, this is fucking insane. This is nuts. Yeah, this is neck and fuds. What is that, the 101? Yeah. It would be great if we accidentally ended up in Skid Row and got pulled out of the car.

Just got eaten by zombies. Totally wrong way. Yeah. Make a right here. Oh, I guess it just ended. We're in Mulholland Drive! Oh, let's go to Mulholland Drive. Woo!

We're going to go to Mulholland Drive! Woo! Beautiful. You get on Mulholland Drive because you think you'll see Two hot chicks Fucking each other That's the whole Devin if the movie's so bad Why does that lady With hot titties

Fuck Naomi Watts Huh Oh I mean that was great I love that part I love that part I saw it in film school I started jacking off To that part in the class

But the rest of the movie Stings Big U-turn Here we go That's been easy And I do love Lynch Because he is Such a horny guy.

A lot of people don't know that about him. So you know he was just like, and the lady singing it represents the youngie and unconscious. And then we're going to have the two ladies fuck each other. And that's just for me. That's a little treat for David.

I honestly don't even remember the movie that well. I just remember hating it with all my heart. But I was 19. i'll re-watch it should i re-watch it tonight ben no no watch watch blue velvet watch um the elephant man blue velvet just like shots of of tall grass what even was going on it's not tall grass it's regular grass but he's so close tall grass is the best actor in the movie. It's like how, Devin, let me explain something to you. That isn't Yoda from very far away. That's Baby Yoda.

Do you know what I'm trying to say to you right now? His name is Baby Yoda. Well, Yoda, like, but that's like Yoda from, like, really far away. That's an after Yoda. Yeah. So you know how like if you fuck your cousin, like a little cousin comes out like nine months later? That's like canonically? That means that the Yoda like...

They say canonically. Canonically? Like metaphorically? Like there's like a hot lady Yoda with a pussy. I've been in that Taco Bell. It's good. You've driven this far for a taco for that Taco Bell? Oh, yeah.

I've lived many lives. What is going on with you? You talking to your daughter. You're about to be a father. You can't be saying stuff like that out loud. I had a Mexican waiter. At Taco Bell? No, today I had a Mexican waiter.

That's the end of the story. Oh, wow. He goes. Hey, by? No, today at a Mexican waiter. That's the end of the story. Oh, wow. Hey, by the way, what a surprise. Yeah, Ben's like, you'll never believe who was washing my dishes at the restaurant. My Mexican waiter noticed Katie was pregnant, and he asked, boy or girl? And he said, that's mine.

Yeah, that's my white baby. So we're having a girl And he goes, nice, nice I have a three kid I have a 21 year old 15 and a three And we go, aw, that's sweet And he was 24 years old

He goes, I'm nine years old And we were kind of staring at him for a beat And he kind of said And then he finally I swear to God, he said It's all with the same woman and I was like oh he like

he explained I was like no I know I know you're Hispanic but you know you know I I didn't assume it wasn't you go I know you're Hispanic I didn't think you were black

he goes I just want to let you know I'm not black I know I'm very dark he goes they're all with the same woman I know we had a lot but like it wasn't with

separate women I am not black no I got I went to the beach. I got a tan. I'm not black. Don't worry. How do we even get to Mulholland Drive? I think it's too long, buddy.

I think we're heading towards Malibu right now. Yeah, let's just drive into the beach. Let's have the podcast end with us sinking into the ocean. Yeah, we should. Like the end of Drive. We should all just kill each drive into the beach. Let's have the podcast in with us sinking into the ocean. Yeah, we should. Like the end of drive. We should all just like kill each other in the waves. We all, we go to the Home Depot, get hammers to beat ourselves to death on the podcast. Yeah.

Just repent for all of our sins. I used to start juicing these Maraschino cherries so I could just get all the red dye out of it and then just take it like a shot. It probably is the same as like drinking vodka or something. If you just drink red dye 40. Yeah. Just cut to the chase. Yeah. It'd be funny if you like you relapsed on Jankum.

Like you start like sniffing your daughter's diapers and like you leave them out in the sun. You start getting all high on them. Yeah. You have a diaper genie and you're just staring at it, shaking. You're like, I know I shouldn't, but... I have whipped cream all over my glasses. One of the listeners is going to jack off to this because it looks like... Oh, of course. Yeah.

Of course. I think at least one listener jacks off to every episode we've done. That's why we do it. Yep. That was delicious. Mm-hmm. There's one listener listener i was telling you guys probably there's one listener who every episode he uh he dms me a video of him listening to the podcast and then the camera turns on him and he's like sitting in a big diaper and like a rat's nest in a room that i swear to god is somehow one foot by one foot. His room, he sends me this every episode.

He sends me, and it's a room so small I can somehow see all four walls at the same time. No, his roommate is an electron. Yeah. Yeah, he got evicted by a roach. His landlord is a big roach with a cigar, and he goes, Hey, dude, it's already the 10th. Tomorrow's already the 10th, dude. God damn it, Chick-fil-A, you've done it again. This Coke Zero is a delight.

Didn't you have a shake? What was your shake? Vanilla. What a fucking... Oh, my God. I love vanilla. That's it? That's all you got?

Can I go on record here? Did I just cut that car off? No, nobody cares. May I go on record here? Oh, we cut that car off? No, nobody cares. May I go on record here? Oh, we're in Topanga Canyon now. How lovely. We're at the Topanga Town Center. This is where Charles Manson did anal for the first time. Hello, sir.

I want to go on record here. Chocolate sucks ass. I hate chocolate shakes. They suck my ass. Is that a dog whistle you drop in there? Yeah, that's a really shitty thing. We know what you call chocolate shakes. They suck my ass. Is that a dog whistle you drop in there? Yeah, that's a really shitty thing. Yeah, I think we We know what you call chocolate shakes. Yeah, you have a tattoo called Vanilla Power on your

back. We're like, hey, loud and clear, buddy. By the way, did you know Rocker Power was not in Hawaii? It was in California. Really? Really? Wait, what? Yeah, someone told me that the other day. Oh, shit! God damn it, Ben. I'm trying to drive on my knee.

Well, stop holding your fucking Coke Zero. I don't want to die because you're drinking a Coke Zero. Jesus Christ. God damn. Like fucking retard James Dean. For the love of God, this is a windy road. Get it together.

Yeah, Ben, we're on Mulholland Drive. Come on. It's the windiest road in LA. Pretend you're Polanski trying to drive back to that sweet, sweet jacuzzi. Full of that primed, young fucking piece of veal. Yeah, Ben would be Leo's character in Once a Time in Hollywood, but he's making shakes. In the blender. Not margaritas, just shakes.

Yelling at tax because he thinks he's an Indian guy. Dude, these turns are fucking wild and this car's right in my ass. Yeah, well, Ben, just give me your diet. Give me your Coke Zero. There is a guy in our ass right now. This is like dual. Is he a cop? our ass right now. This is like Duel. Is he a cop? No.

No, it's not a cop. What the fuck? He's trying to go around me in the median. No, no, block him. He's going to run us off the road. Block him. Is that a Rolls Royce? Don't let him go around us. Don't let him.

It's a nice car. This is fucking weird. No, he's just riding our ass. It's really not that weird. Yeah, he's just an asshole. Dude, this is like the scene from Lost Highway right now. I should pull him over and stick a gun in his mouth and call him a cocksucker. Dude, this is literally a scene out of Lost Highway right now.

Yeah. We're on a mountainside right now, Topanga Canyon Boulevard. He's shining his high beams at me. This little cocksucker. This is LAPD Los Angeles Podcast Patrol. Wait, is this a cop? No. Oh, no. Is this a cop? No. Oh, no.

Is this a cop? It's not a cop. Because I've been driving weird with my knee and drinking Coke Zero and podcasting. No, it's not a cop. Oh, look at that guy. They're definitely fucking. Yeah, that guy's getting his dick sucked by a whore. Hey, Paradise by the Dashboard Lights, am I right?

Hey, there's another one. That guy's cutting himself. What an interesting street. A cop bangs on his window and goes, hey, this is the blowjob part of the road. You can't cut here. Hey, hey, hey. Apparently a lot of kids in Malibu High School and Topanga Canyon High School, a lot of them kill themselves that are suicidal by jumping off of these

cliffs here. It's pretty common. Good. Good. Keep driving with your knees thin. Good. Maybe we can hit one tonight. This is beautiful up here.

There's all these weird occult churches and stuff. Oh, yeah. This is classic LA. I love driving through Mulholland Drive and just knowing there's a woman chained up in a basement every 100 feet from you. It's really beautiful. How many people do you think get sacrificed around this time of year in the name of Satan, the Prince of Darkness and whatnot? People getting skinned alive, people getting their foot boiled in a big pot, and then people sucking the toes off Vienna sausages and shit.

Do you think it's happening a lot like human sacrifice like they're actually eating kids and like drinking their blood honestly honestly and like in the cold water canyon mulholland drive i think they're all just they're all too high they're not doing that they're raping for sure yeah they're not yeah we're doing we're doing they're doing good old-fashioned american rape it's classic rape it's like it's It's Americana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is funny. If you talk to those Q guys, and if you're like, hey, there's not really that much cult kid fucking.

They're just raping, like, 17-year-old girls. And they're like, oh, okay, well, that's cool. Forget it. Yeah. Oh, you're on the default settings? You're on Hollywood default? Get off my fucking ass, retard. No, this is fun.

This is fun. This is fun. This is fun. He's really riding us. It's really, it's actually kind of, it's starting to get kind of eerie. Dude, someone hasn't rode me this hard since last night. Very good. Because you're gay. Because you're gay.

That was the joke then. And you have gay sex. Fuck you, asshole. Suck the shit out of my ass and lick it. He can't really go around either because it's so windy. Well, that's what I'm wondering. What is his intention? Yeah, what's his game plan?

That you're like, oh, okay, I'll start going 80 then. Right. Because this guy's on my fucking ass. It's interesting. Fucking nuts. Yeah. I kind of hate this. It really does feel like we're going to die.

It feels like we're in a sinister movie right now. We started off all like, let's just take the mics into the car. We all wind up dead. We figure out our entire existence. We're in a Kevin Smith movie the whole time. We thought we were real, but we're just...

We exist in a Kevin Smith. Like Tusk. It's being John Malkovich, but we're inside Kevin Smith's head. Oh, God. This guy really is kind of like... You know how difficult it is to stay this close to a bumper? It's actually like, it takes a lot of work. I kind of want to slow down to five miles an hour to see what happens.

You should brake check him. No, don't brake check him. People will kill you now. Every video on Twitter is someone open firing in their car, and then it's always the stand your ground law, where a guy gets cut off by a little old lady, and he steps out of his car with an AR-15 and unloads a clip into the side of her car.

Yeah. It just turns her into Swiss cheese. Did you see the lawyer in Panama today? Yeah, the guy that shot up the stop oil protest. Yeah, yeah. There was a stop oil protest where they were blocking the highway, and you just see this 80-year-old white dude with a beard and glasses. White beard.

He's walking out of his car. Oh, there's a video of it? I just saw a picture of it. I saw the picture. I don't look at the videos because it's like, you know. Oh, I would have. I want to. That video is like, that's amazing.

It's an amazing picture. He's a hero today. Yeah, it's an amazing picture. They have an award-winning photograph of him shooting an oil protest. And you see the bullet by his head, like the shell by his head, and he has no fear. He doesn't even look stressed out by what he's doing. He looks like Guillermo del Toro, by the way. It looks like a 50-cent promotional picture, but for an accountant.

It's so strange. It looks like Richard Dytrine. Yeah, we'd get Richard Dytrine, but with like a fat 80-year-old white dude. So we're basically going through Topanga Canyon in Malibu right now, and I just want to salute, share, and everybody who's fucked up on every pill imaginable and all the booze in the world that can navigate these roads night after night. God bless them. These are, this is a really tough drive right now and they're doing

it fuck they're doing it like you know matthew perry boiling like a lobster in his hot tub just yeah this is really this is really the drunk driving masters going through topanga canyon it's really the best of the best it is it's the 0.01 of drunk driving. Yeah. I would like to be able to have a drunk driving contest to see just how good I was at it. Oh, yeah. Because I think I was really good at it, but that could just be me drunk like fucking Wolf of Wall Street plowing into kids. Can I say an unpopular opinion right now? What's that? I actually think if you're bad at drunk driving, it's just because you're retarded.

I don't think it has anything to do with you being drunk. If you care about being a good person. That's a Brokeback Mountain right there. Two trucks parked on the side of the road. And Devin's right. If you have empathy, you get drunk and you go, all right, I'm fucked up, but I'm not a monster. Yeah, I got to do this right. I got to do this right.

You get locked in. Yeah, it's about the mentality of the drunk driver. Like, that guy is already an asshole. Mm-hmm. You know? It should be legal. No, one time when I was drunk driving, I, like, turned down a one-way, and I was driving down it for, like, you know, 45 seconds

before I even realized what was going on. That happens all the time to people. Come on. I did that yesterday, and I was sober. That's how I get here every week. Hello, everyone. Testing, check, one, two, test. And checking, one, two, test.

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Yeah, I think we got a ways more to go yeah this is really the worst uh road to be uh podcasting down these hills really are very sinister a lot of weird stuff happened up here yeah well 60s and 70s there's a lot a lot of weird stuff happened you will to be a person where you're living in la like one of the most densely populated cities in america and you somehow have a situation where you could kill somebody in your backyard and no one would hear the screams is wildly sinister. Yep. Yeah. This is where a lot of people, they played guitar and it summoned the devil. These are the devil hills.

Yeah, it's people who go, I want to get so good at producing comedies that the devil talks to me. Yeah. I kind of went off to a place while you guys were talking about that, and I thought about the idea of fucking someone covered in blood, and it doesn't turn me off. No, because it's just blood. I mean, who's grossed out by that? It's just blood. I mean, who's grossed out by that? It's just blood. Yeah.

I mean, wouldn't you rather drink someone's blood than drink someone's pee? I'd probably rather drink the pee. Yeah, I think I'm going piss on that one. You're a sick fuck. I can't believe you're about to have a kid in a month and a half. It's actually like the state should take the baby away from you.

You should be put in some sort of like correctional facility. You should be treated like he got game. Like Denzel Washington. I can't believe you're about to have a kid and you're doing this right now. I know. Also, just the fact we're talking about like Mulholland Drive and you pause and go, you know what? I think I want to fuck somebody covered in blood.

It's truly disgusting. Or fake blood, you know? No, you meant blood. You meant blood. Sick fuck. So here's what's interesting, right? Is the first colors we were able to see, obviously the first was black. My alarms are going off.

The first was black and then white, right? Those were the first two colors because it signifies night and day. Then the third color that we came to know immediately after that that the human eye developed to see was red. This sounds like

you're Leo and Django Unchained but go ahead. And we created a and you know these are, you know we created words forango and chain but go ahead and we created a and you know these are you know we created words for these colors and identified these colors and we could see them red signifying like danger it's blood it's uh it's mostly just blood but it means danger right you know cavemen and stuff they see blood or whatever uh then eventually way down the line we finally developed a word for blue. Because after red was green and all that stuff.

And so, and by the way, I'm right about all this. I know you guys think I sound retarded. No, it sounds, yeah, you sound retarded. No, I know the blue thing. There's people who think we used to not be able to see blue because it doesn't appear in ancient until like the year 200 for some reason. And it is partly that, but it also is like some cultures still to this day do not recognize blue as a color. And there's a lot of theories that if you ask a kid what color the sky is, they don't say it's blue. What do they say? I think they say it's, I think they say purple.

I think they say purple or so. I forget. I was reading about this the other day but they many kids actually don't say blue we learn to think of the sky as a blue apparently so we just made up the names of colors basically some cultures don't think blue's a color they think we're retarded they think it's like a variation of purple i believe or it's not a variation of purple they think it's like light purple They don't recognize it as a primary color So was this about how it's okay to fuck people

Covered in blood? Yeah Because it's like the most primal thing If someone's covered in blood It's like danger and stuff It's basically like I don't know if it's I don't know what I'm trying to say basically

We got that Yeah You're Donald Sterling And it's the court transcripts Have you ever read Donald Sterling's court transcripts Where it's just him going like I mean I fuck a lot of women I like to fuck them in the ass, I fuck them in the mouth

Sometimes I'll fuck them in the feet And he goes on this long rant And the lawyer literally goes I asked you do you own a couple cars? And it's just, he went on this long rant that ended in him being like, when you fuck the pussy when it gets really wet, that's you with the color red.

No, just a lady covered in red paint. That's what I meant. No. Don't twist my words. You meant blood. You're sick for me. Don't twist my words by taking me, you know, by interpreting's what I meant. Don't twist my words. Don't twist my words by taking me, you know, by interpreting

exactly what I said. I think we drove past Mulholland Drive and it reminded you of the sick fantasies you try to push down with shakes at Chick-fil-A. Dude, I do wonder, like, what is way deep down there? Like, what am I into and I don't even know? And I'll just never know. There's that shadow way deep down

there and I'll never like, it will never be actualized. I'll never actually know what's way deep down there. Way, way fucking deep down. Like, what if I'm gay? I had that. I had the first time I did. What if I'm like a sissy gay guy? I had that.

Like a little white dog gay guy. Oh, not even a cool gay guy? A little white dog that looks like shit and has crusts in its eyes gay guy. What if you're the bottom? Yeah. You're like, what if I'm the bottom? You're like, what if I'm a gay slut? I'm not even a gay prude.

I'm a real slutty bottom. No, I had that the first time I did Mushrooms. Your scar's still on my ass, by the way. Oh, dude, it's crazy. It's like it's movie level. This is movie level Taylor. Well, they're lighting the set for us. Go on, Jace. Yeah, it's actually great. Thank you, sir.

Thank you. He's probably on the phone with the cops like, yeah, they're still podcasting, I think. I think they just said it. Yeah. This is in the main episode. We riffed about OJ Chase podcasting for saying the N-word. This is what's actually happening. We riffed about OJ Chase podcasting for saying the N-word.

This is what's actually happening. This is actually what's happening, yeah. Yeah. He's looking in our rearview mirror through his window. He's like, I think they're doing a bit about blood and colors. I don't know. They've really gone off the rails. The driver seems to be making an incoherent point.

No, they're talking about the history of colors. Yeah. I think it's racist. Yeah. No, I think, yep, it's looking like this is going to be the Patreon episode. Yep, I can tell. Yeah, we're sending two cars. We'll be there right away.

No, I remember the first time I did Mushrooms, me and Noah, our friend Noah, went up to the hills in Malibu. And I was very, I don't know why, I was very worried. I was like, what if we take mushrooms and we fuck each other? You were really? In the hills. I was very, I'm not even kidding. I was very worried about that. You thought you guys would just be like, oh, we're actually gay.

No, that's what I was, seriously. I never done it. I was like, what if it unlocks some secret pullback thing? And dude, like we literally like. What if it unlocks my ass dude i literally was playing this thing in my head of like just us like sitting in chairs being like yeah i don't think i think i think it's starting to kick in and then smash cut to i was just like fucking each other like just railing each other in the dirt in the hills of Malibu. He was like, soil is loose.

Yeah. It just completely changes the nature of us, you know? Right. We can never talk. I kill Noah because I'm worried

he's going to tell people he fucked me in the ass while we were on mushrooms. But this is the thing Carl Young and those guys were obsessed with where Young said if you could fully cross

your shadow over, that would be your goal for your life. But it's completely impossible. I don't know if I don't. Let's say one day I'm walking down the street and a woman lands. She goes splat like one of those David Letterman fruit that he threw off of a building in front of me. And I just cum immediately.

In my pants. Cums dripping down into my sock. Because she died? Because she fell? Because she what? Because she died. Because she died, and you cum. Yeah, I see her.

She goes, ah! And I look up, and she's screaming and falling. And as she's screaming, I'm looking up. I'm getting rock hard, watching her fall towards the top. And then you realize you have a big getting thrown off of a building thing. Yeah. That's a real thing that I think has happened to people if you think about it. There could be somebody there could be somebody

who their whole life they think they're like a normal guy they work at like TD Ameritrade and then one day their grandma's dying of cancer. They're saying goodbye to her in the hotel room and the minute the harp machine goes boop they get a raging boner out of nowhere. That's awesome.

And they have to go, do I? And then they have to go deal with that. Yeah, am I horny for my dead grandma? Yeah. So then they just follow that feeling to see where that goes? Possibly. That's why you got to figure that out before she dies. You got to go fuck your grandma.

I think you either follow that feeling and you end up being a dead grandma fucker, or you just push it down and then one day you kill your whole family while they're getting breakfast. Devin, you know how there's doulas? I explained to you there's doulas, right? What is that again? A doula is someone who assists in bringing your child into the world. They prepare you for parenthood and what giving birth is going to be like and all the questions you might have.

Like a Sherpa for being a person. Pretty much. A pussy Sherpa. Pussy Sherpa, yeah. There's also death doulas, which are just a person that basically sits by your bedside and tends to you. Help you transition.

Helps you transition into the afterlife. Interesting. And what do they know about that? I don't know, but I think they have... They're just probably like Peruvian and white people go, oh, they're different, so they know about death. We used to conquer them a lot and kill them, so they must know about death.

And once in a while they go... And then white people go, oh, they are deaf. They know death. Be my doula. Yeah, it's- They're spiritual. It's white people who saw the scene in Meet Joe Black where he speaks Creole to that lady. And they go, I need a black woman when I die.

Here's the thing. White people think anyone but them has magical powers. It's really a self-hatred thing. White people think Native Americans- That's what white people- think anyone but them has magical powers. It's really a self-hatred thing. White people think Native Americans... That's what white people... They go to New Mexico and they get Native American beads and they get the dream catchers and they think they're magical.

They think Indian people are magical. Is he literally not going to pass? When we get to the Tulane... He's not passing. No, he loves this. He loves this. Yeah, he's probably jacking off right now. He's rock hard. Oh, damn. Are we at the beach?

That's the ocean. We're in Malibu now. Right, isn't that the ocean? That's at the PCH. Yeah, nice, Ben. Hell yeah, Ben. Let me pull over here in Malibu and check to see if it's still recording. Is this a fireworks stand?

What is this? You know, one time I saw Russell Brand parked right there, and he was the hottest lady I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, and he raped the shit out of her. He kept leaning over like this in the car, like doing this. Like he was the hottest lady I've ever seen in my life Yeah And he raped the shit out of her He kept leaning over Like this in the car Like doing this Like he was like

Raping her Well he was sucking her dick He was sucking her dick I think he was sucking on her tits Well good for him It rules to look like that And have the hottest woman In your life

Sucking you off Yeah What are you doing Are you checking He's checking the camera Yeah PCH baby Pacific ghost Crazy It really Kind of sucks Coming down You can't see the ocean He's checking the camera, yeah. PCH, baby.

Pacific Ghost. Crazy. It really kind of sucks coming down. You can't see the ocean. It's just darkness. I know. It's a really disappointing thing about the night beach. Yeah.

You can always tell it's there for some reason. Well, because it's just an abyss. Yeah. It gives you that existential feeling where you're like, I don't know. It's nothing. It's nothingness. I kind of love going to the ocean for that you know because i'm like an anxious person so it's like it feels impossible to have anxiety when you're looking at the ocean yeah you're like yeah i'm not even alive i'm pretending i'm alive right now it kills your ego yeah exactly yeah yeah i love being near the ocean. Me too. This is beautiful.

If I was a rich guy, I'd love to just live in a tiny little fucking three bedroom right on the ocean. Did you really just point to your Coke Zero like it's a new, like, wow, everyone's got to get on this. No, this is olive oil. Yeah, can I get a 24 ounce of Sesame seed oil It's so weird to see you Like become a dad But still be retarded At the same time

Yeah Cause he'll do the point At the cup Like a dad will be like This is Now this is the good ice And then he'll be like Did you know that

If you fuck a baby In it's ass And it's like It's such like mixed signals You know Ben has been doing things that make me like weirdly Furious lately Where I think the other day

We were leaving a restaurant And he walked up and they had mints Oh shit that's a cop What is he gonna arrest you for being Drinking too much coke zero For being really gay? Yeah, give you a ticket for being a faggot? But we were leaving a restaurant.

We were leaving a restaurant, and they had fucking normal mints at the front. And Ben walks up like a big dick swinger, and he goes, Oh, my God, what are these? Like such a cheese dick. Where the fuck was that? We were at the Morrison. It was the Morrison. I remember you doing that.

And it's like, it's this dad thing of not being able to just do something without like making a fucking employee look at you. Ben's the type of guy that soon, like in the morning, like he'll be around people and he'll be like, guess it's time to put on my shoes. Yeah, oh, it's a cop. Just a second. Go faster, Ben. Oh, they're arresting a guy. Oh, my God, they're arresting a black guy. They're arresting a black guy.

I don't know if he was black. No, he was a black guy. Yeah, that's what cops do, Ben. Yeah. Well, just another day at the office there, huh? Yeah. No, it's... Roller coasters go up and down.

Clouds rain, Ben. Clouds rain. Yeah, that was actually crazy. So, right, you can't really see, folks, on the camera. That's the ocean there, and people are parked here. I did a U-turn because I wanted to see... And then that sheriff, his lights went on, and he had a black guy in handcuffs. They pulled him over.

I don't think the black guy was, like, admiring the Pacific. He thought he was trying to steal the ocean. That's why he arrested him. Dude, so he pulled over that black guy because his car door was open and then was putting him in the...

He was putting him in the back of the cop car. That's probably DUI. Yeah. Yeah, poor guy. Well, little do we know. He just said, all right, now rap.

Dance. He's just bobbing his head. He goes, that's pretty good. All right, on with your night. Yeah, just bobbing his head. He goes, that's pretty good. All right, on with your night. Yeah, it's a sobriety checkpoint for black people as they throw cardboard on the ground. They go, dance. Spin on the head.

Break dance. Do the head thing. I will say that would be a good test as if you can pass Sway's five fingers of death, but then they let you go. They're like, he is faded, but he's in the zone yeah they're like dude if you're drunk but you're in the zone yeah it's fine but no can i can i briefly go back to the dad thing because it's there's the dad thing of anytime there's somebody who is forced

through their job to like have to acknowledge your existence they they treat it like it's a it's a fucking hostage situation. So they walk in and they go, ooh, these are the good mints. And then some woman who's just trying to get through college is like, very good. That's great, man. Wow, I wonder what that black guy did to deserve getting arrested. I mean, when was he born?

It's such a cruel world. See, there's so many sheriffs out. I kind of wanted to get on the beach to end the episode, but I know the beaches are closed at night, right? Yeah, we'd walk out there and immediately get stabbed by a homeless person. You're allowed to park next to it like these cars. You can't see shit. Oh, so we can park and kind get stabbed by a homeless person. You're allowed to park next to it like these cars and just like, you know, you can't see shit. Oh, so we can park and kind of look out at the ocean.

That's what it seems like that guy that got arrested was doing. He just seemed parked, but maybe they pulled him over. What was he? Who knows what he did. Who knows what he did. Can you blow into a breathalyzer and you've had too much lean? Does it show up? I'm not making a joke.

I'm actually wondering. I don't know about that. Yeah, not making a joke. I'm actually wondering. I don't know about that. I don't know. Did they have a do-rag detector? Yeah, Ben. They just use a paper bag. That's how they arrest them. Do they have a dunk

machine? You guys are the racist ones. White people who do lean look like Jelly Roll. That fat country artist. What is that Jelly Roll guy? I'm sick of that fat retard. I'm sick of seeing him around on my feed. What did he do? All this music sucks ass. What does he make? Anybody who's, by the way, who's just trying to

mooch off of the comedy scene and stuff isn't talented enough to hack it in their own world so then they have to pretend to also be the funny guy, too. Suck my dick, you fat face tattoo retard. That is why I don't trust him. I don't trust him because I found out about him through the comedy world,

and I'm like, I don't, what? Can you do Rogan or something? No, he just does music videos with comics that wear Air Force Ones and shit. Yeah, he just won Best New At like the CMAs Or whatever And I had to watch Some stupid speech Yeah I saw him give a speech Like go viral

Yeah I'm 39 And I made it I mean He does like comedy music videos With like The worst podcasters on earth Okay I'm pulling Here we go

Alright Ben Now suck our dicks Oh this guy Oh shit bro Yeah yeah go Yeah go over That guy's like Jacking off or something

Jesus what is going on I don't know I didn't know that like Malibu at night Was just It's like jacking off or something. Jesus, what is going on? I didn't know that Malibu at night was just, it's like GTA San Andreas. We pulled behind, it was a cholo in Adam Sandler basketball shorts, and he had his leg hiked up. He was hiking his leg up and hiding something he was doing. I think he was hiding his dick or something. Was he holding a Pringles can, or was that a thing tennis balls come in? He set it on the roof.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. it was something that mortar shells for fireworks maybe it was like a whippet canister or something i don't know that was fucking crazy this is actually fascinating to see what's going on at uh at 11 30 on pch yeah a lot of sinister i guess the beach is kind of like the motel for people too poor to use the motel. Yeah. So you just pick up a hooker with your last 80 bucks. Yeah, because this is air conditioning right here. It's just the ocean.

Yeah. You come out here, you roll the windows down, and you're like, all right, I have AC now, and I'm going to pull my dick out and shoot stuff into it and have someone suck it off. Yeah. Which isn't the worst way to go about life. No, it's not too bad. I got my dick sucked on the PCH one time. Really?

Yeah, driving like around Santa Barbara, driving back to LA. Jeez, that's lovely. Yeah, it was great. Great view. You never run out of schlong stories. Your schlong has been all over the world. Yeah, well, I was a real whore for a long period of time. Your dick was like Flat Stanley.

It's been in like every continent. My dick has the stickers that say Hawaii, Paris. You put on like big luggage when you were going on the Titanic. Should I turn around? Yeah, I think we could start heading back home. We're getting up to the Santa Monica

Pier. Jesus. It really sucks. And we would turn into Will and Don if we actually went to the pier right now. Although, should we? No, we should not. We go, oh, look, what's that spinny round thing? Oh, it's like a big donut. It's like a donut in the sky. So you ride the donut and you eat it while you go around.

Okay. Oh, man. Oh, look, Don, there's a Mexican fella doing whippets on the beach And I think he's getting sucked off in his big basketball shorts They pull up, they go, hey we like whipped cream too Damn, so can I just do a fucking U-turn Or am I going to get popped Do you want me to put your address back in Google Maps?

Yeah, just don't tell them what it is. Okay. 69 Racist Street. It's not even a great house. Ben just picked it for the address. I got to start playing PlayStation Live again because I have the best name on PlayStation Live.

What's your name? Gay Guy 42069. That is pretty good. That's really your name? Yeah, which I can't believe it wasn't taken when I got it three years ago. Keep going straight, actually. It's quicker to keep going straight. We're only 27 minutes away from your home.

Oh. Nice, nice. Keep going straight, and it's going to take you on to the 10 East. We're going on the 10? Oh, because then we're just going to pop up the 405 Yeah, we're going 10 East to the 405 We are going to drive past the Getty Yeah, we're in Santa Monica

Oh, the Getty If you guys want to go see gay art Yeah, the Getty sucks ass When you grow up in LA, for whatever reason Everyone talks about the Getty And you go and you're like Well, there's a nice little tram thing that you can take That goes and you go and you're like, well, there's a nice little tram thing that you can take that goes and you feel

like you're on a roller coaster and then you get to the Getty and you're like, ugh. More like the Serengeti. Jesus Christ. More like the Sheddy. Success. It really stinks. No, I think it's literally people hear the words the Getty and it just sounds very rich. It sounds really cool. Yeah. It's like saying It really stinks No I think it's literally people Hear the words the Getty

And it just sounds very rich It sounds really cool Yeah It's like saying you want to go to the Rockefeller Yeah But it sucks What is the circular thing in New York The Guggenheim

Yeah the Guggenheim Yeah yeah That's cool Because you go That sounds silly I want to go to the place called the Guggenheim Yeah That's just more gay art Yeah I went to silly. I want to go to the place called the Guggenheim. Yeah. It's just more gay art.

Yeah. I went to the Museum of Modern Art in New York. I threw up in the Museum of Modern Art, because I was really hungover. I went to an underground Cuban bar that my friend got me into, and I was so tall. Everybody was Cuban, so they were this big. Yeah, they all look like jockeys. Yeah, they were. They look like they ride Seabass.

Yeah. They were 5'1". And so I walk in and I look like the guy who, like, they think I own the bar or something just because I'm taller. And they give me free mojitos. And then I went to go see Starry Night at MoMA and I threw up in a trash can next to Starry Night. In MoMA?

In MoMA. Nice. Yeah. Nice. When you're that fucked up, what does starry night look like does it look regular it looks yeah hey how about this instead of moma it's moo moo and it's just a bunch of fat ass ladies wearing ponchos walking around like it's just fat ants with blankets with holes which by the way the moo moo is this is I've never seen something that's such bullshit in my life than a muumuu.

Do you know what a muumuu is? Yeah, our granddaddy used to wear them. It's a blanket with a hole in it. Yeah. You're wearing a tablecloth, essentially. Yeah. It's what you would throw on a woman you found nude in public. You're like, put a tarp with flowers on it.

It basically is something that you put over like a corpse, essentially. Yeah, it's rape victim gear. Yeah, it's like Under Armour for rape victims. No, I mean it's, yeah. It's sweat whisking rape gear. No, I mean it's literally like you were getting a haircut and then you just walked out. That's what it looks like. Dude, it's like, do you want your grandma to look like Newman from Jurassic Park?

Yeah. We'll have this moo-moo for her. Wait, what am I doing here? Stay left for Ocean Avenue? Oh, Ben, that's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. That's the road they all do the U-turn down. The U-turn and then go to the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a famous, mad, mad, mad, mad world. That's the road they all do the U-turn down. The U-turn and then go to the... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a famous little road right there. Yeah, go through this tunnel and get onto the 10 East. I met you on Ocean Avenue. Remember that stupid... Remember when all songs sounded like that? Yeah. Remember the days when every rock band was singing about eighth grade romance? Yeah.

They're like, I wanted to fuck you, but your dad wouldn't let me. 27-year-olds like, pack your bags, meet me at the shore. We're getting far away from here. We're going to smoke weed and flip off a cop when he has his back turned. I bought you your first funnel cake, and then you gave me a handjob.

I love handjobs and I'm 37 years old. 38 and I can't get over my middle school breakup. And everyone loves it for some fucking weird reason. I have a 401k and I'm dressed like

the biggest gay guy in the world. Ocean Avenue. I met world. Ocean Avenue. I met you on Ocean Avenue. You know, Blink-182 also had a song about where they go, I, I want to fuck a dog in the ass. Really? I want to fuck a dog.

Yeah. Isn't that weird? Is that true? Yeah, it's true. It's true. They had a dog. They had a song called I Want to Fuck a Dog in the Ass. Honestly, that- They put it on an album. That makes sense. That tracks for Blink-182. They had a song called I Want to Fuck a Dog in the Ass. They put it on an album.

That makes sense. That tracks for Blink-182. They would do shit like that. That's white guy shit. That's white guy shit. That's like kicking somebody in the nuts. That's what white guys do. We talk about fucking dogs.

We do a podcast called Lemon Party. We do nut taps. Yeah, nut taps and everything. It's like a fun time. That's what we do. That's what we do. Okay. I wish we were getting paled again.

That was fun. I really wanted to take that guy on a ride. Yeah. Me too. I really did think something bad was about to happen. Yeah, that's the fun. I caught so much tension in the car. I started babbling about wanting to, like, cover a woman in blood.

Yeah, you went on some weird. Talking about the history of colors. It's funny to know that that would be your last words. If you're ever in, like, danger, you just start rambling. You're like, you ever think about fucking a woman covered in petroleum jelly? You ever think about that? And then, imagine pouring

Red Diamond for 40 and then you just die. And everyone's like, what the hell? That was not like cinematic at all. He went on this weird retard rant.

Yeah. You get to, you get to heaven, the judgment seat, and they're watching your whole life. And they get to the very end and they're like,

oh, I think you're gonna, yeah, you're gonna get into heaven. And then the last bit is you saying you'd fuck a woman covered I think you're gonna, yeah, you're gonna get into heaven. And then the last bit is you saying you'd fuck a woman covered in blood. And they go, no, you're going to hell. You're a sick fuck. God calls me a sick fuck.

Yeah, enjoy demon cock, fuck face, that's God. Get on the 405 North to Sacramento. God's like, yeah, God's smoking a cigarette. He's like, yeah, you're actually a faggot. Fuck you. Yeah, I'm God, and you suck, you suck smoking a cigarette. He's like, yeah, you're actually a faggot. Fuck you.

Yeah, I'm God and you suck balls and dick. You're going to hell because you actually didn't get enough pussy. Which, because you're a narcissist. Right. You didn't fuck enough. Jace is going to heaven because he was a whore and pushed his emotions down by getting sad pussy from women he hated. Which is cool. The saddest pussy you ever got, Jace,

what kind of feeling does it leave you with? I fucked a woman. I know the saddest pussy I've ever had. I was going through a breakup and I was just drunk all the time. I used to do this bit on stage, but I fucked a woman who looked like the baby from Dinosaurs

in a wig. Baby Sinclair? She looked like Baby Sinclair in a wig. sinclair she looked like baby sinclair in a wig dude i was like dude i was she was like on it i was like on a dating app i was like god this woman's really ugly but i guess i'll fuck her whatever and then i got to the bar and she was even uglier than her picture i was like all right fuck it and i remember even walk. Do we walked back to her place to go have sex from the bar? Yeah. And she stopped at California Donuts.

Oh, that's when you lived behind the donut store. Yeah. I lived by the donut store. We were like in the same neighborhood and she, she ate two donuts and then I fucked her. It wasn't even regular donuts. She ate like cream filled donuts. It was like cream filled donuts. Jelly filled. Yeah. That was like, that was like literally the moment where I was like cream filled donuts yeah yeah that was like that

was like literally the moment where i was like okay i need to like stop yeah like this was really fucked up yeah no dude she was literally like dude she was literally like do you want any i was like no i'm about to fuck you she's like all right more for me oh did you say while you were fucking or you could like fill the donuts in her stomach like she was an unborn child? Dude, she was jacking, I had sugar on my dick afterwards from her jacking me off. It really sucked ass. I remember that one time

You got diabetes. That one time you thought you got like a Mexican goth girl like pregnant or something and it turns out it was someone else's baby. Yeah. I had one pregnant scare because I was fucking a Mexican lady Without a condom Which I knew at the time was so stupid I mean they're like the most fertile women on earth

And then She was really weird I mean she was cool she was really good at sex She was really hot But after our third date she drunk texted me Like don't ever stop loving me And I go oh you're like a crazy psycho You're like a crazy psycho. You're like a crazy psycho

bitch. So I, so I was like, I was like, yeah, you're fucking weird. So no, thanks. Thanks. Thanks for all the pussy though. And then, and then dude, I like six months later, I still follow her on Instagram and I was like, I'm going to go stalk her pictures and jack off real quick. And I, uh, I was looking at her pictures and I was like, Oh, she's, she's pregnant. She's like six months pregnant. You start freaking. I started, I started freaking the fuck out. I was literally Googling like six months pregnant, Google image comparing i was like dude i think she's six months pregnant

there was a mexican dude posted up with her like she was dating i guess yeah and i was like for three months i was so worried and then i finally waited until she posted the baby pictures and it was like a little brown kid. I was like oh my god and I was like blog on everything alright goodbye. I was just terrified that she was going to give birth to like just a four foot tall white kid. A kid that looked like

a little Mexican Drake. Yeah. I just have like a little like chase Ramirez running around. You track her. She's like like in she's posting on Instagram. She's like he's one one year old and he's like on well Butrin like and you're

like fuck. Yeah like he does bits where he's like really sad and it makes everybody worried even though he's like not really that sad. He's just like it's a character he plays. Like he used to be sad but he's like done a lot of work on himself and he feels pretty good. Yeah. And they call him a faggot in the barrio. He says faggot and retard a lot. Like we don't

know what's up with Edward. He's one years old. He's one years old. He's like hella emotional. Sometimes I wonder if his dad is really his dad. Yeah. He is like taller than all of us at like one. He's 5'11". He's one years old. He's being recruited by West Texas football scouts. Yeah, he like drinks jugs of milk one at a time. He's like fucked up and shit. Yeah, but thankfully, I just recently actually checked up because I got paranoid again. I'm still laughing.

What? Her saying never stop loving me yeah your stone cold reaction you're a psychopath you're a crazy bitch you know it's funny i think i was talking to i was talking to estrada um it was either estrada or kevin macias and uh i was like telling him that story he's like oh that's just like Mexican women. Like that's what they do. Like they're like hella dramatic like that. And they just say like, I like, they listen to Morris and they go, please don't ever stop

loving me and shit. Yeah, that's true. Like it's just like normal. They're really spicy firecrackers. What is with the Mexican? I love them so dearly, but they are very emotive. Like goth, goth Mexican dudes, like Mexican dudes, they really, like, emote. It's kind of wild.

Because some of them are somewhat stoic and can work 70 hours a week, and the others, they howl like wolves at the moon. No, that's every Mexican dude. I think you're talking about the coyotes in your neighborhood, Ben. You got confused again. Yeah. of coyotes in your neighborhood, Ben. You got confused again.

Yeah. You're inventing new racism. Is the Mexican punk guys not a thing? Yes, that's a thing. They love Morrissey. They love rooting. They love punk bands. They're like, true love will find you in the end, fool. Yeah. Yeah, but Mexican people are gray.

It's not like they're... The Mexican punk guys, I know a lot of Mexican punk guys, and they're just like, yeah, the germs are cool and shit. It's not like they've got a beer bottle, and they're just breaking it over their head and trying to stab people. You know what another trope of Mexican guy in LA people probably don't know about

is Mexican guy who's really into 50s Americana. Yeah, rockabilly Mexicans. Dude, rockabilly Mexicans are some of my favorite guys of all time. I used to get my hair cut at a place where they were all rockabilly Mexicans. Yeah, Estrada's place, right? Yeah, yeah. That place is great. On Virgil.

Well, Mexican people are the ultimate Americans. And by the way, go watch This Fool on Hulu. Check out This Fool. Estrada, he's the man. Yeah. He's very funny. Estrada's a wonderful, wonderful man.

And Devin's in the show. One of the best people I've ever met. Right, now that the strike's ended, we can officially tell you to watch This Fool. Yeah, we're allowed to tell you. Go watch This Fool.

Devin's on the show with Michael Imperioli from The Sopranos. Yeah, episode 10, season one. Yeah, I did love people once the strike ended, people posting like, hey, now that the strike's over, I did love people once the strike ended, people posting like, hey, now that the strike's over,

I can finally let you know I did background for this Liberty Mutual commercial. Just a heads up. Yeah. Just a heads up, I shot a vlog last month, so strike's over, I can say that. Just to let you know, I did the catering on a State Farm commercial.

I played the dead body in a body bag on this NCIS episode. They thought I was actually dead. They tried to throw me away. So now that the unions have worked it out, I can share that. Now that the strike's over, I can let you know I'm in Grace and Frankie season 14. I'm in season 14, which Jane Fonda doesn't even know was filmed. Jane Fonda's been dead for years, but we just kind of prop her body up. We're still going.

We've developed an AI that's just Jane Fonda. Imagine thinking Rizzoli and Isles is going to be your big break. Oh, I know how to get home from this. I don't want to say it out loud. No, no, no, I know. I tell them exactly how to get to your house. Imagine your big break is like you've you're uh you're gonna be in an episode of rizzoli and aisles like just sort of

a side character like maybe a few minutes right yeah yeah and then you watch the episode you call everybody over like your parents fly in it's like a really big deal because they know you're like emotionally so like fragile everybody comes in they're at your horrible apartment in North Hollywood and you guys are watching it on Netflix and you realize your scene is cut and you walk out on the patio and you, you kill yourself. They all look outside. Right.

You stick a gun in your mouth and you blow your head off. Right. And they don't even, they don't even yell. No, no, no. They go,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They go, yes,

do it, do it, do it, do it. They go, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. They go, yes, do it. Do it. Do it. They hold the gun up to your head like they're trying to get you to finish a drink. The cops rule it an assisted suicide. It's the first just suicide in California. Yeah. Do it.

Do it. My friend saw someone kill themselves in France. Really? Really? Would he rape himself? He was in, I think it was Paris, and he saw some guy stand on top of a bridge. And he was like maybe 20 feet from him. Yeah.

And he goes, oh, the age of consent is only 12. There's no reason to live. He stabbed himself with a big baguette in the belly. Chocolat bleu. Chocolat bleu. The teenage pussy.

But yeah, he jumped off and he died. And my friend just like watched him like drift off like his dead body like came up

and he just like drifted off into the ocean or whatever. Or wherever Paris is. In France, we have a term for the depression you get when you cannot fuck baby pussy. We call it inoui. Baby pussy. He wanted to do his French, so he wanted to fuck baby pussy. And we call that la petite inoui.

When you're so depressed from no baby pussy. And we call that la petite inouye. When you talk the press from no baby pussy. Oh, God. Sick French bastards. I hear France is overrun with immigrants. I've listened to those programs too, Devin. I've seen this on the Twitter. Or X. I don't know if it's true or not.

You know, there's a fucked up thing. I think I've told you this off pod. There's a fucked up thing in France where if you're an American black dude in France, they treat you like really fucking nice. Right. Because they have that history

of like James Baldwin and a bunch of like black intellectuals who lived there. And there's black people who moved to France and they're like, people treat me great. I finally don't feel like racism at all and then they get if they get good enough at french that

they sound like they're from france like people start being like get it get it together ducky like spit at them and that makes sense actually yeah well because they but that's weird though because i thought they don't like Americans. I thought French people. That's the only Americans they like. Because they're like exotic. Because, yeah, there was a history of like in the 70s and 80s, it was like Nina Simone, James Baldwin, all these like black American intellectuals moved to Paris because they were facing so much like hate. Right.

In the United States. So they have this like culture like, oh, it's oh, it's the arts. It's black arts. It's good. They love them until you're like, but if you're a black person who's born in Paris, they're like, yeah, get a fucking job. Right. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. I don't...

I haven't met many French people in my life, but I don't like them. They're stinky. That's all I know. They fuck kids. I mean, there's not much to like, honestly. They haven't been culturally relevant since 1920. Yeah. There was a French guy at our college, and I fucking hated his guts.

Just because he would walk around and be like, they have you in America. They have these cheeseburgers? No, no, no, no, no, no. And people would be like, oh, that's so interesting. I'm like, no, no, no. And people would be like, oh, that's so interesting. I'm like, no, fuck that guy. Yeah. Fuck that retarded ass guy.

Yeah, fuck you. Like in France, you don't have like something called like, oh, it's snare poop, like chocolate and shells and shit. Fuck off. Don't they fucking like, what do they eat there?

Yeah, I'm sure, actually, what are we doing here? They have the best food on Earth. Do they? Beef bourguignon and cocoa vin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And croissants and all that shit. I think they invented modern baking.

They invented most of it. Stop buying into all this propaganda. America has the best food on planet Earth. That's true. Yeah, America's the only place you can eat food out of a helmet. You can go to a baseball game, you can eat brisket out of a baseball helmet. And I think that's beautiful. I mean, any, any place you go to now, it has machines that food just oozes out of. Vending machines. We have soft serve ice cream machines, Froyo machines.

You go to stores now, it's just, it's big glowing machines and they're humming. Like a brain on the limitless pill. It's like this fuel cell. It's humming and sizzling. You pull a big lever like you work at the factory itself and it just all comes out nice and gooey into a cup and you eat it. That's the thing. France doesn't understand goo. Yes. They don't have goo machines. No, we've cornered. That's the thing. France doesn't understand goo. Yes.

They don't have goo machines. No, we've cornered the market on goo. We're the kings of goo. Oh. The kings of it. Oh, my God. We've pioneered goo. Yeah.

It's the golden age of goo. Uh-huh. And we've been perfecting it for a while now. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can't wait until we have, like, Coke machines put in our chests, like, surgically. Like, it's like Videodrome, but for fast food. It's like Iron Man's chest, except it's the vending machine at the AMC Theater that has every flavor of Coke you could ever have.

Which I do love so much. When I was a kid, that would be the only thing I ever wanted. That would be my best friend. That would be like a hook for me. Like when I was a little kid. My Peter Pan would be a big Coke machine comes to me and it has every flavor of every soda on earth. I remember the first time I saw one of those Coke machines and I reacted like one of the apes in 2001 in front of the monolith. Like I was just jumping around and like, oh, oh, and like bashing against it.

Oh! Yeah, I fucking lost my mind. I'm like, you're telling me I can do cherry, vanilla, limeade, full Coca-Cola. That tastes like shit? You mean it can taste like even more shit? God, this is beautiful. Eventually the U.S. Surgeon General will come out and just tell everybody just eat your own cum. Right.

There's no nutrition. The U.S. Surgeon General will at some point come out and go, just go back to cigarettes. Stop. Everyone stop. It'll stifle your appetite. Smoke. Smoke again. Just smoke cigarettes. Eat your own cum. We're going to be fine. We're going to get through

this. Well, I guess we're getting to my exit now, so maybe we should kind of stop. That's what's fun about when the world goes to shit is that you feel more comfortable living like shit. Because you're like, well, what if everything ends soon? That's the fun, weird thing about when times get bad. You get to marinate in bad habits. Yeah. I mean, well, I'm depressed, or life sucks, and the world's going to shit.

Let's fucking drink up and eat like shit, and, like, who cares about my health? Yeah, well, it's kind of like losers once they reach, like, 45, and they get to go, like, oh, this is not, I thought I was going to pull out of this. I'm not. And then they just get to get really weird with it. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

Yeah, they start experimenting with their own bodies, essentially. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that new Cronenberg film, where they're just growing ears on their chest. Yeah, Crimes of the Future. Every Cronenberg movie is about a spine that talks. I know. I always mix up every single one.

Is that a video drone or it's a new the new Cronenberg movie about an ankle bone that that travels the country like

they're like but get but get this get this the ankle bone has a pussy that's right it's kind of

weirdly sexual it's also weirdly sexual it's also weirdly sexual new movie about a shin that's a pedophile it's kind of weirdly sexual. It's also weirdly sexual. It's also weirdly sexual. New movie about a shin that's a pedophile. That is kind of the movies where he's like, what if in the future everybody fucked by doing this?

Right, yeah. And like weird music is playing. That's how people fuck. Yeah, Cronenberg in a pitch meeting at WB being like, what if a dick had a pussy? And a pussy had a dick. And they go, God damn it, he was $5 million. You sick Canadian fuck. He's Canadian?

He is Canadian. That's why he's so weird, because he's overcompensating for coming from such a normie country. Yeah, exactly. His son's a pretty good director, too. Yeah? He did that movie Possessor, which a pretty good director, too. Yeah? He did that movie Possessor, which was pretty good. I haven't seen it.

It stars the guy from Girls who didn't get Adam Driver's career. That's pretty good. Oh, the other gay guy. Yeah, the other guy from Girls. No, not the gay guy. The guy who fucks Marnie's character. Oh, um... The hot Jufro guy Oh I know what you mean

Okay Gotcha Gotcha Should we get this Before we get to your house Ben Yeah probably Before you guys start doing Like AMC movie trivia

God I felt like I was like Oh sorry Anyway I want to fuck a lady Covered in blood How about that Is that a great riff for you Quickly real

Yeah Dissect the N word For Ben Hold on You sick bastard Talk about how Is that a great riff for you? Dissect the N word for Ben. Hold on. You sick bastard. Talk about the strength of chains. Ben's like, hey, we did 30 seconds of the podcast our moms could listen to. We're going to edit that out.

Yeah, we're going to have to cut that out. They're going to complain about that part. Yeah. All right. Well, patreon.com slash lemon party for a backlog of, there's like 55 episodes on there. We have golf matches on there. We have a lot of fun. We get a little bit more wild than we do here because we're allowed to.

And live streams every Wednesday on the Clips channel, 4 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Devin at Hate Watch Pod. Jace at Sad Drawings by Jace. And folks, we'll see you next week. Love you. Bye.m. Pacific Standard Time. Devin at HatewatchPod. Jace at Sad Drawings by Jace. And folks, we'll see you next week. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

What the fuck is this piece of shit? Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rose's Cantina, music would play and Paulina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Paulina Wicked and evil while casting a spell My love was deep for this Mexican maid I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as a wild cowboy came in