lemonparty - 064: Speakgreasy

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And then I looked up Ant's age, and he's 62 years old. Well, that's crazy. Like, Anthony can't, like, drink and shit, too. That's wild for him. Yeah, dry drunk Ant? Yeah, that's like crazy. It's like telling a black guy he can't wear Jordans anymore. There we go.

We're recording now. Yeah, we're in. That's how you do it. You have the Walmart ingredients of Pop-Tarts on the screen. That's my homepage. Sugar, soybean, and palm oil. We had that hanging in our house when we were kids. Like a live, laugh, love font.

That was scripture. Lord, praise soybean oil and soybean concentrate for saving this family. What is this terrible thing you wanted to show us? Hold on. Oh, yeah.

I've seen this before. You've seen this? Whoa. What happened to her toes? It's fucking... It's weird. I think it's... Is it a her?

Yeah, why did I immediately assume a gender for this lump foot? Did you think this was a high heel? That's crazy. Dude, I think there's shit in the pants. Yeah, there might be shit in the pants. Is he wearing two pairs of pants? It looks like he took two pairs of pants off. Oh, my God.

Yeah. For the listeners, it's a guy shitting in a stall and they're shooting underneath him. The guy has no toes. Is that like a... He looks like

a Lego guy. Somebody that got like face transplant surgery on their foot. Yeah. You see his face and it's been, there's toes all over it.

Yeah, like this foot is on Oprah. I was attacked by a chimp. Isn't it great that as Americans we're returning to like Civil War injuries? Yeah. Where people look like Patrick Starr.

That's what the tweet is. That's what the tweet is. I can't steal that joke. No, yeah. It says, N-word, this is Patrick Starr. Yeah, that's good stuff. I really wish I could lean on the N-word as a black guy.

There are old timey diseases coming back. In a big way. In a big way. In a big, big way. Yeah, like, you know, there's people in San Francisco like, yeah, polio's back. There's just kids with like rickets and shit. Yeah, apparently we made

polio sexually transmitted. I got polio from getting railed in the ass. Got polio at a bathhouse. Got polio at my son's kindergarten from fucking all these kids. I think measles is back. Measles is back. Yeah, they're all back. Was measles always a thing?

I always thought measles was like finished, but I've seen it come back. Is that what mumps is, by the way? What's mumps? I don't know. Mumps, you have to put a big bandage on your head, right? I think so, yeah. Yeah, you have to look like a sick person in a cartoon. Most of these diseases, I think it made you go crazy

and just jump off a cliff, like the happening. I don't know what any of them did. Yeah, me neither. But no, nobody's getting, not to be cuck again, but nobody's getting vaccinated against measles like when they're babies. So now we have measles again. So that is like an anti-vaxxer thing

that's like making certain things come back. Yeah, yeah. We're skipping on some of the vaccines, I think. Which ones? I don't know. My wife's in charge of the whole thing. So I just let, dude, I am, I'm not the head coach. Sure.

Let's just put it that way. I'm not the head coach. I don't know what put it that way. I'm not the head coach. I don't know what the plays are. You're not even an offensive coordinator. Nope. You're a first year assistant. I'm, I'm actually, I'm really just like, I'm water boy pretty much. Yeah.

Cause like I'll go get a bottle of milk and I'll do that. But like, I'm not calling the shots. You're letting the owner of the team make the decisions. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. And you're, you're just the the owner of the team make the decisions. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. And you're just the scapegoat. Yeah.

You're in the film room playing Nick Acato videos in front of Lila, like, rewinding him back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what vaccines we're skipping, but we're skipping some of them. I forget what it is. Which ones?

Like, if they were vaccines that we took, I would just say get them. Yeah. We're fine. We're not doing the flu one. Fuck that. Did we get flu vaccines as kids? Did our parents just sign us up for that shit? I think I got poked every which way. I think literally we just went to school and they just shot vaccines

at us with darts. Dude, we look like pin cushions in the 90s. I mean, come on. Our parents' generation and their parents, like didn't they just have like fillings full of mercury? Like didn't they have like just mercury in their head for most of their lives? Yeah, they got polio. They put them in an iron lung sometimes, right?

Yeah. Just put them in a big tube that makes you breathe. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of mercury, don't you guys remember there used to be thermometers everywhere that said the temperature of the air and it was the big red thing that went up on the side of the wall.

I haven't seen one of those in maybe damn near 15 years. We can't count numbers anymore as a country. We can't count numbers and we're hot in any weather whatsoever. Because they were like, what's the point of this? People just go, red is high today. I asked Siri, I go, am I going to sweat today? Siri says, yep. I got a country Siri.

Oh, I got a good one for you guys, by the way. Speaking of retards like that. You look like Christophe. I was like, that's a bingo. Wait for the cream. Yeah. Ben's like, if the podcast is going stale, Ben has the Glengarry leads. He like shifts through

real quick oh man i forgot about this hold on uh i'm trying to remember oh yeah it's on my pulling the pulling the video out of the ether hold on i i just subscribed to them today they should be on my people you tweeted about the other day? Yeah, these people I can't understand. It's basically, it's like if Will and Don were raised by the guy from, the water boy guy who you can't understand. Bobby Boucher? The Dischiotto guy. The Dischiotto guy. If the Dischiotto guy raised the Yankee and the South crew,

this is who they would be. Okay, beautiful. So you found the couple from True Detective who raised all those kids. Yeah, let me... Here's a clip of them. Can I say very quickly, I, on the live stream, saw Ben subscribe to a new YouTube channel, and it really felt like

Joseph Mengla finding a new subject. You, like, found a new set of twins to sew together in one of the camps. So these these two by the way i i said i listened to them the way like scientists are listening to sonar of like whales singing to one another yeah i can't i'm trying to understand what they're saying like oh my god like i have like a rosetta stone of them is that guy just eating a hamburger bun i can't tell if he has a weird beard or if his neck started to stretch.

Like the skin started to rip as it was growing. I have, hold on. He's so fat he has tectonic plates on his head. Shifting. He gets an earthquake in his earlobe. His name's Ecuador. This guy is about to swing at a golf ball, but not in the way you would expect. What the hell is that?

Where's that coming from? Ben, you're getting an ad playing here. What the fuck is going on? He started swinging with... The hell? Ben, come on. Ben, please. And then brother up front said, yeah, I didn't think I was going to say anything, but I'll

give praise report. I'm glad none of that happened to me. Oh my God. If that woman spoke to me, it would take everything in me not to stab her to death with my keys. They're eating, the tile says we're eating chicken and fixins. The fixins might be shit.

That's what they call shit and old screws they find. Fixins. What was she saying? I'm glad none of all that happened to me. It was funny. And then I done told him how I am kind of clumsy.

Which, by the way, I love their dynamic where he's like, okay, I'm gonna eat. When I'm eating, I'm gasping for air between each bite. Dude, you have to do the talking. The way he's pulling that skin off the chicken looks like a hyena eating an asshole This looks like fucking BBC Earth

Fuck this shit Ben this sucks dude That fucking sucks He has a He treats breathing like a person on a marathon That like is getting handed water Like that's his version Yeah he grabs air out of

the cup. That was really parched for air. I don't need one breath a day because of all the calories. He's got a cross tattoo on his arm. I think that started as a capital T and he just got so fat. It stretched out. Their name is Keeping It Real Big Country. Keeping It Real with

Big Country. None of that was my fault now. That was me being clumsy this weekend. I had everybody laughing. Everybody laughing, of course. It's crazy. This whole show is dedicated to the people that made Rust Cole not believe in God. It's the green-eared spaghetti monster. No, literally, he's about to check that guy on the right's dick,

and it's been sliced off with a razor by the fucking Puerto Ricans in Antwerp. Do you want to see this through the Ben Avery lens? To me, it's about the notes they don't play. Sure. I really appreciate the silences within these videos.

Yeah. The anticipation, because people like this, I never know what they're gonna say they appreciate the art of silence like they studied like Louis CK talking about like just you know embrace silence a lot of comics are afraid of silence but they have that naturally

because their brain is trying to power up a new word to say if they talk for too long their brain starts to go like when you get a when you're downloading porn on an old laptop. This woman looks like she popped a hot air balloon. So wear it. I want you guys to see if you can figure out what he's saying.

I have an idea. Okay. It took me 20 listens. Can I say really quickly? I think if you panned below the table, I wouldn't be surprised if they were joined together. Yeah. It was just one. Like cat dog stuck on you.

Yeah, it was one big blob that they both come out of. Like a two-headed slug. They're like, just preparing for the Macy's Day parade tomorrow. They're like, we're going to kill and eat Snoopy. We heard there's a big Snoopy dog that we can shoot in the head and eat. They're one of the floats. They're going to eat a float.

Dude, they go to parades and catch candy in their mouth like seals at SeaWorld. They go to parades and go candy in their mouth like seals at SeaWorld. They go to parades and go, Okay, listen. I'll play it one more time. They think fireworks are pop rocks. Okay, tell me what you guys think he says.

He's folding skin up. Be a partaker. What? Does anybody have a clue what he just said? I'll do it one more time. Be a partaker. You could turn YouTube's closed caption on it. It would just say retard talk.

Be him in a retard talk in fucking parentheses what is so funny like you couldn't even come out with like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre today because the family looks so nice in comparison like these people they'd walk the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and they'd be like oh mr

fancy pants oh i own a house oh you got a new face i guess oh i own a bunch of knives oh look at me mr rich man you think you don't want to cut up your food with a chainsaw i got one right yeah baby this is how i eat every morning. His turkey car versus James' sauce. You know he's got a Confederate flag tattoo the size of the gin rollie. It's too scale. Okay, let's see if you can decode this. Sure. They're pork chicken.

What? It's not anything? It's pork chicken What? It's not anything It's pork chicken He rips off the entire skin off the back of the chicken He's folding it And he folds it the way a kid used to fold the fruit roll up To eat it all at once No what he does is he folds the skin

And he folds it like a flag you hand to a war widow Oh the folds of glory The little triangle And then he presents it to his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, we're sorry we lost your heart this year.

I ate your mother. I think he's saying, I think he's saying best part of the chicken, which to him, the best part of the chicken is the thing they fried onto the chicken. Because he's eating the breast.

So he's like, I don't know what that white shit is. But the clothes it got on sure are tasty. I like the little chicken suit. He calls chicken skin a chicken suit. You show him

grilled chicken. He goes, what the fuck? What's up, bitch? Ain't all these chicken suits off the chickens. Son's up, bitch? Ain't all these chicken suits off the chickens. Son of a goddamn bitch. God damn. God damn it. It's party chicken.

Bed party chicken. That's what he's saying. He's saying bed party chicken. Dude, this is my like jfk revisited it's my zapruder film where i keep playing it and i've seen this like 50 times yeah yeah oliver stone's studying all the different angles of this mukbang it it is fascinating in in the south you can there's areas where they're so poor they've become like an uncontacted tribe like they have no knowledge you can tell them them Obama was the president eight years ago.

And they go, what? What the hell? They're shooting at people for bringing them water. Yeah, they're throwing knives at a drone that flies overhead. They think it's a god. Now, I knew this was a masterpiece when I heard this line coming up after a long silence. They're so fat, you started making them. Sorry, my hiccups.

God damn it. Here we go. Bed Parchment. Bed Parchment. Now, this is a masterpiece right here. It's skin? Mm-hmm. Right here.

It's skin. Y'all might not know, but KFC does have buffets. Mm-hmm. I'm noticing. Ben, Ben, Ben. Ben, you're knocking little Japanese cats off the TV and stuff. I like how he's wearing a camo shirt to hide from heart disease. Like he's in the jungle he's trying

he's trying to hide from the vegetables on his plate I also I think I love about these Louisiana retards is they the lady on the left she starts every sentence by going they don't know tell you not know they got not know buffets at Target now

and then you go mmm yeah can you replay that clip again it's so retarded I forgot what they said y'all might not know but KFC does have buffets. Mm-hmm. I'm no... Yep.

Bojangles. We've been to KFC Buffet in Bishopville. Bishopville. Up there around Bishopville. And then... Man. Is there more of these people? Yeah, you want to watch more of this?

This is the whole episode now. This has to be it. Can I say we glossed over that? The guy took the napkin and wiped his tongue off. I think he was cleaning chunks off, like he was polishing his shoe. Jesus Christ. Keep it real with big country. God.

It's amazing we finally found people that Will and Don would think are retarded. God. It's amazing we finally found people that Will and Don would think are retarded. Yep. Let me see here. Walmart, deli, general, sour chicken, and tater wedges. Hold on, that's with their kids, though. I don't want to click on that.

Why do they subject their kids? Is that their kids or their snack? Do we really know that? Sonic peanut butter bacon we really know that? Sonic peanut butter bacon. Where is that? Up. Go up to the right.

Right there. I think he's driving while shooting this. He's got the Oakleys on. He's like, those lemon pop bars are faggot. He's wearing the the bacon peanut burger burger the guy that drives me is like what you want what

and this guy literally lives in like like fucking yellow king Louisiana yeah no literally I can't understand what you're saying they know him at the sonic when he drives through the window they just shoot food at him with a t-shirt through his window and knock him out

god damn I was in that planet I want a little combo to knock him out. God damn. I was not playing it. Do you want to try a combo or just the sound? I want a little combo. Combo? All right.

He goes, I'll take the building. He goes, brother. I'll take the building. Let me, I got to tell you, the guy night shift sells me the oil out the back. Can you hook let me I got to tell you the guy night shift

sells me the oil out the back can you hook up I got some fish I got a confederate twenty dollar bill I lived in Carcosa Louisiana

my whole life I'll take I'll take the building my great uncle is the Tuttles they run a a child rape ring out of North Louisiana

are you saying he only pays with money from the Civil War? Yeah, he pays with American silver dollars that have to be cut in half. That's where they got that good killing. He opens his wallet and pulls Kraft

singles out. Just to pay with those. For large? I write you my French professor Titter time Then the Bojangles one He calls chicken breasts Breastesses Like literally how Tyler Perry

Says breastesses Here's the thing These people are so poor they are black And I'm not even kidding They are I'll take a chicken breast I love titty fucking These people are so poor, they are black. Yeah, they are. And I'm not even kidding, they are. They really are. I'll take the chicken breast, two chicken breasts. I love titty fucking.

This is sexual to him. This is a sexual act. It's a strip club. It's prostitution. He goes, I get 40 for 10 minutes in the back with the chicken breast. I'm going to go down and fuck my dare queen. He goes, can I touch it? Can I fuck the lady on the dare queen side?

A bouncer comes in. He says he's being too aggressive with the chicken. He would fuck. He's in front of his meal and he's peeling off singles on top of the meal. He would fuck the soft serve machine if you let him. Like a pro. He'd stick his little weird pecker up. I guarantee you that there's been at least one time he's tried to steal the soft serve machine.

Like just rip it out of the wall. Like it's an ATM. Yes. Yes. Literally. Like hook it up to an 18 wheeler with a chain and try to drag it out. And then he crushes his wife heads with it. Like Breaking Bad.

You know, this guy had to have like, like his Chevy, like, like, like customized, like Shaq. The way Kevin Garnett. We can get his car custom made. Because people at the, at the, at the, at the dealership, they're like, oh yeah, are you an NFL player? You're like, no, I just said we've been at the Walmart Deli all night. I'm a professional

Walmart Deli customer. We were at the buffet at Walmart. We were at the KFC buffet down in Brixtonville. They got rollback prices down there. They're slashing prices crazy down there. My great-great-granddaddy, he was, well, first off, he was a wizard for the Klan,

but he moved on because he saw a KFC Taco Bell and it blew his mind and his heart exploded. My mama was a gator. And my daddy was a crow dad. You realize, too, that these pockets of the U.S.

are very different. Like, a lot of these restaurants have to be all-you-can-eat for the safety of the employees that work at the establishment. If it's not all-you-can-eat, you know something real bad's going to happen. It's like working with the Raptor Pit in Jurassic Park. You have to have big poles that you hand food out with and you get sucked in. No, the workers at every place they eat at have safari hats on and guns at their hip. Vests. Vests, yeah.

So, anything else for you? Do you want some chicken dip bites? No, let me get the peanut butter shake. Peanut butter shake. What size? Medium. I'm going to drive through the window. Can you put a gun in my mouth and you'll fire down my pipe? Medium I actually ordered a medium. That's crazy. I'm shocked. He did that's crazy that he's like give me two medium

Give me an extra large I'm not driving my wife's driving I got the I don't really have a joke about this but it's fucking bullshit they did away with king size stuff at restaurants cause I really would yeah this family was in the street like it was fucking Ferguson

me and my wife we gonna eat this man we gonna go kill Morgan Spurlock that cocksucker's He goes, I'm steady. Me and my wife, we're going to eat this man. We're going to go kill Morgan Spurlock. That cocksucker's responsible for the end of all of our happiness. They refer to it as prohibition. That they did it with a king size. Yeah, prohibition is super size. We can go on and mix them for years now.

Elliot Ness came, he hit all the gravy barrels with a big axe and speared out on the road. We got a speakeasy, but we call it speak hard because throat's too fat for words. It's a greasy easy. Grease easy. I speak greasy. He goes, now I got to cut these Oakleys off my head

because they've grown into my flesh. They're way too tight for his head. I know, dude. It's like a rubber tight for his head. I know, dude. It's like a rubber band on a watermelon. I know, dude. The springs are going to pop out and kill a child. Double burger. I've been trying to get out of here on the highway.

Is he driving? No, he said his wife's driving. I didn't say that. No, he's driving. Are you sure, dude? I think he's driving. He claimed that his wife is driving. Who knows?, he's driving. Are you sure, dude? I think he's driving. He claimed that his wife is driving. Who knows, maybe he's driving with this guy.

All right, here goes the reveal. Here goes the reveal, y'all. Wah-bam, wah-bam. He's like Elvis, dude. He's like, he's like, come back. It smells. It's got a peanut butter smell. Kinda smells like my shit this morning.

Kind of smells like how my wife tricks me to take in my pills in the morning. No, no, here goes the first bite. First bite. I can't believe this country, dude. I know. I can't believe this country, dude. I know. I can't believe this. Is there a person that's even a fraction of the size of half these people that we watch that are in any other country?

Is this the only country that has people this size? No, I truly don't. You know what's funny is I was finishing up shipping the international orders. We had not one XXL in like 30 orders. Yeah. Yeah. It's just here. In India, the babies seem to be very obese.

But other than that, no. Yeah. Like India, the babies are really fat and they all smoke. Sure. Right, right, right. Is that because their bellies are distended? Because they can't have any enough? You're talking about like that?

I don't know. Indian babies are just like, they're fat as shit for some reason. You're talking about like that. I don't know. Indian babies are just like they're fat as shit for some reason. They're a high carb people. Yeah. They're eating a lot of naan. Yeah.

I think they let them get they like you get all your food before the age of three and then you're just hungry for the rest of your life. Yeah. So they give you all all your caloric intake

is before the age of two. They give you a lot of food at the beginning so you have enough shit to build a home. Yeah. They go we kind of like those sparrows that make homes out of their vomit. We kind of do the same thing down on the bow. Oh, guys, this is great.

I think they're doing keto. Oh, God. What's their keto? And they call it dirty keto. They must be doing the KFC thing where it's the grilled chicken snacker thing, like where it's two chicken patties and then in between. Yeah. They're eating the Dr. Atkins, the actual guy.

What's going on, YouTube? And we have my wife, Angela. They seem very happy, I will say that. If he shaved her head They'd be the same person They're the exact same person Yeah They do have a

Tweel-dee-tweel-dom thing Going on They're like Made for each other It's beautiful They're really like Want Show them what you got

And tell them about What you're doing They call them Big A's For the next 21 days Starting today I'm doing a Daniel Fast Show them what you got, Ainge, and tell them about what you're doing. They call them big Ainge. For the next 21 days starting today, I'm doing a Daniel fast with a sister at church. But basically you eat... They think a fast is watching NASCAR. By the way, she means, when she says she's doing it with a sister at church,

she means her sister works at Church's Chicken. And gets her a discount on the chicken there. Wake up, kids. We going to church. Put on your Sunday finest. But I make her deliver it to me because I don't like the type of people at the Church's Chicken. Please. There's a lot of undesirable.

I like those dark people. Yeah Yeah these guys driving past a pickup Basketball game be like They're in an inferior race As he's choking on his own throat Explain to me what dirty keto is Each and everybody Does something a little different. I think she's going to add eggs.

Last time I did Daniel fast, I did add eggs. But she also took away the taste. Oh, she's doing that fucking diet from the Bible. It's literally like what Daniel did. What is it? I think it's like you just eat honey and water or some shit like that. I think that might be it.

There's something like Daniel, his kid died or whatever and he went on a fast where he ate honey and water or something shit like that. I think that might be it. Or there's something like Daniel, like his kid died or whatever, and he went on a fast where he ate honey and water or something for like 40 days. She might also be like, a sister at church told me that if you eat enough, it's actually less. Right. You got to break through a sound barrier.

Out there, or y'all, the Daniel Fast and police or whoever, you know, I do it how i do it but today you know all that being said i'm having two sauteed squash and i did that in a little grapeseed oil and some salted tomatoes and some water you know that thing is going like fucking in the garbage oh yeah she's like i'm like, I'm just going to take that and I'm going to put it in the garbage disposal.

Which means their mouth. She goes, I have some beefsteak, tomatoes and some squash. And I'm going to feed this to this cow that I'm going to eat alive. Their feet have levers like a trash can and they have to they have to press it. And their mouth opens and then the husband just shuts shit down it. When they stop walking, you hear who y'all some country.

What are you doing? What are we doing for work? Today I have doing keto. Pork skins. That's what people on keto do are you serious yeah

oh I mean it's the most retarded diet of all time I've had a lot of people that have lost a lot of weight I mean they're not like eating pork skins yeah it's keto

pork skins are keto they're like pure fat if you're doing strict strict keto the only like crunch you can get is pork skin so you eat a lot so you eat a lot of that

bacon, eggs wings wings and blue cheese I don't know if this sounds healthy it's not is pork skin. So you eat a lot of pork skin. So you eat a lot of that, bacon, eggs, wings, wings and blue cheese. None of this sounds healthy. It's not. It's terrible for your heart but you lose weight. Yeah, yeah.

It like tricks your body into starving. Yeah, you're starving but you could do like kind of healthy keto. But if you're at this size and did keto, it would overwhelm your heart

and like kill you, right? Listen, here's the thing. When these guys do keto, it lasts for 15 seconds. It lasts as long as they say, I'm doing keto. Right. And then he immediately deep fries a Snickers in his own neck fat. No, they literally-

Probably yo-yo's them fatter. People this fat say they're doing keto because they're like, I kind of like the idea. Bacon and eggs for a while sounds great. Yeah, you're right. It's just, it's kind of like a, they just have a craving for keto-ish food. Yeah, the diet is a craving. And then they go, I'm on a diet. I'm drinking bacon fat.

I ate 15 avocados. I got me a Stanley Cup to put my bacon fat in. They're the only people who gain weight on keto. Yeah. Some barbecue. I'm losing weight, but my aorta is 300 pounds. The carb count is less than one gram per serving.

Half ounce is one serving. Full bag is four ounces. So there's less than eight. Jesus Christ. They got this gay-ass British man. Good God. You know at night, this guy, when he gets hungry in the middle of the night, he doesn't want to get up.

He pulls one of his teeth out and swallows it. He starts chewing the mattress he goes to natural tic tacs organic tic tacs that's why his beard doesn't connect because he eats pieces of it just rips it out of his face what was that a nursery rhyme about the guy who had like a dream he was eating a marshmallow and he woke up he ate his pillow huh isn't there a nursery rhyme about that? I think there's like an old joke about that, but not a nursery rhyme. Anyway, he ate his pillow. Oh, okay. But he thought it was his pillow.

Right, sure. Yeah. You can't stop hiccuping. If I sit there and eat a whole bag, it'd be less than eight grams. You know his daughter hiccups just like he does. I'm going to take a little marinade. Yeah? It's kind of insane.

I'm going to take a little marinade. It ain't nothing but real mayonnaise. Oh, are you talking about my baby? My baby hiccups all the time and's kind of insane ain't nothing real man oh are you talking about my baby hiccups all the time and just like me yeah she has that avery podcast curse by the way you know this lady is pissed off because she's eating the butternut squash and she's like it don't taste like there's any butter in there where's all the nuts but they're not squash my ass my ass. She looks so pissed. She looks like John Goodman in Inside Llewyn Davis.

Like you catch her in a bathroom stall, but she's injecting herself with high C. It's funny that these people are blue collar too because it's like, what is this guy crawling up in your attic? What, is this guy, is he going on your roof? There's no foundation strong enough for him to... They're blue-collar because his shirt

is cutting off the blood to his neck. He's blue cheese-collar. Yeah. I worked out at the construction site. I mixed the semen in my body. I couldn't get my hands on that blue cheese. I just started eating the asbestos in the house. I'm the county's number one disposal site for asbestos.

And then I'm going to disassemble this fat burger. I disassemble this whole thing. Pig's wig is overpriced. It's overpriced. I'm going to put it on that. It's unbelievable how much you got to pay to be healthy these days. So that's what I'm going to get ready to do. She's going to go ahead and start eating.

This is like Dave's killer bread. Why does he have bread on his plate if he's keto? That's not keto. Yeah, exactly. He's an idiot. It's probably like Dave's killer bread. You can do that, right? Which is still not keto.

No, it's not. Not at all. It's not keto. You can eat bread. There's keto bread, but that can't be it. No, keto bread doesn't look like the poorest bread in America. You think this guy was at a place that even has that? He's like, wait, we're just down at the Air One.

Yeah, if you ask for keto bread at his gas station he shops at, you'll get the shit beat out of you. You'll get dragged behind a truck. You're welcome to try some of mine. He's like, you can try some of mine. He goes, I ain't eating that shit. I'm putting mayonnaise on bread. It's keto. He's Kato.

These guys try to kill each other every night, but they can't find their hearts or their organs. It's just like stabbing into caliche. I can't believe humanity, dude. I know. I love playing. Can I?

I love it. Can I say, I read recently Bobby Kennedy in like 62. He went to visit the Mississippi Delta and it horrified him more than anything he'd ever seen in his life. He literally went back home to his children. He goes, you don't know. This country is. Yeah. You don't know how lucky you are. He literally home to his children. He goes, you don't know. This country is... You don't know how lucky you are.

He literally turned to his kids. He had 10 kids. And he goes, do something for your country in this damn life. Because we're all screwed. Yeah. And he tried to devote his life to this abject poverty in 1962. And then they blew his brains out. It's ironic.

He was killed in a kitchen. I know. Oh, no. You should be. Oh, my God. I forgot he has a big baby Yoda poster. He loves Grogu. What is she eating?

Is that her vomit on the plate? What is that? What is her neck? What is that hunk of shit on her plate, dude? That is disgusting looking. That is dog vomit.

Dude, why does her head look like a rock-em-sock-em robot? Looks like it's about to shoot out on a spring. She's eating like when you throw up mac and cheese. It's like gray mac and cheese. They're like two cats.

She eats his throw up. You've seen baby birds eat that out of their mother's mouth. God, that sucks. Oh no, YouTube, they couldn't come in They make cornbread, but it's a whole thing of corn in a loaf of bread oh he got the the mountain berry blast mountain dew oh that okay he's like a watermelon

something he's like i'm trying to get some vitamins you make sure to shake your Mountain Dew to get all the pulp. Doctor says I need more fruit in my diet. You know, they go visit their doctor once every 10 years and he tries to inject them with air. But it actually cleans their veins out. It smooths out cartilage. Goddamn, they got a baby

Groku framed framed baby Groku poster god damn and I think it says my cook or my cookie maybe and he's holding a cookie I think do they print it out a meme and framed it Jesus fucking Christ

I'll tell you what we got what is that oh I didn't tell you what we got. What is that? Cornbread, Jiffy. Oh, I didn't tell you guys what this meal is yet. It's called Velveeta Skillets, which I think they invented. Oh, okay. Are they eating an actual skillet? Doctor said we were low in iron.

Yeah. We got to eat these pans. So we've been eating cor coins We found on a train track Yeah That's not Silver dollar That's what they call pancakes We get our own pancakes

Down by the train track Those penny roller machines At like old antique museums That's not a dog You hear in the background That's their retarded son Crawling around Dude the idea of them Picking up quarters That were flattened By the train tracks Antique museums. That's not a dog you hear in the background. That's their retarded son crawling around.

Dude, the idea of them picking up quarters that were flattened by the train tracks. To get more iron in their diet. Imagine them trying to pick up a quarter with those fingers. It's got to be insane. So this is, I didn't know this existed. I guess I'm showing my privilege right now. There's something called Velveeta skillets. And it's just a gray matter on the cover. I't know what that is it's like a pasta or a I go to Trader Joe's so I don't know what's at like a stroganoff or something it's probably

created by Blackrock to clear up housing units across this country this is the thing I was talking about the other day where people are like what are you gonna eat bugs you fucking cuck like yes I would much rather eat grasshoppers than Velveeta skillets yeah

I mean more prosaic no you have to Velveeta skillets is behind glass like it's fucking plan B you have to call the guy

to come open it for you it's like razors or fucking yeah it's like fucking medicine. They're like, listen, a lot of people make meth out of this. Can we have some green beans

and... I mean, just enough of the charade. What are you pretending to have green beans for? That's what's great about this medium is they're all just trying to justify their terrible gotta have some greens on the plate gotta have some greens on the plate so i'm today i'm gonna eat my larry bird jersey pour some hidden valley rays on my Himalaya bird target. Yup.

Yeah. He sees brown gravy. He tries to shoot it. All right. Which one can I push in? What the hell is that? Like my cone brain. He go,

all right, we're going to eat this meal then we're going to smoke meth and beat the shit out of each other's pussies and balls. He puts

he puts handcuffs on dark-skinned chicken. This is citizen's arrest. Puts his knee on a chicken. We are not citizens of arrest. We are not citizens of chicken. Puts his knee on a thigh. He goes,

I'm drinking human blood to replace what I lost eating my meal. That was it. Topped with french fried onions. French fried onions. Again, it's the pauses that are the best. I know.

They've made a Blue Lives Matter flag out of fruit roll-ups. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know imagine them at church when the communion goes around. Fucking pulling out cheese and sausage. Yeah, they treat it like a lunchable. Yeah, exactly. They bring whiz. Yeah, you go, you got it in a microwave at the church.

I need to heat up this cheese. No, no, no, fuck me. Yeah. this cheese. Yeah. They wrap food in aluminum foil and then eat it. They smoke it like crack. They put saran wrap like around a chicken like they bite into it. He's putting a Hershey

on a spoon and putting a flame under it. He goes, that's right, baby. We're going to be riding a Hershey on a spoon and putting a flame under it. And he goes, that's right, baby. We're going to be riding the Hershey Highway tonight. And a cup of water. He's like, honey, go get the... Next time, don't put in the cup of water to put it on that cream here. He's like, honey, go get the... Next time,

don't put in the cup of water. Is that what he's saying? Next time, don't put in that cup of water. I'm starting to feel hydrated. I had a thought. I think I just had a thought for a second.

My synapses are firing a little too quick right now. No more water in the food, bitch. Yeah. When the dehydrate goes, honey, get the cup of water. They got one cup of water behind glass in case they start dying.

It's like a fire extinguisher. They got to hit it with a big hammer. And they're drinking glass that's falling in the cup. Devin, you're probably right, though. If these two start to feel hydrated at any point during the day, it probably feels weird to them. They're like feeling lightheaded. Oh, they think they're drowning.

Yeah. They get lightheaded off of being hydrated. He's not balding, by the way. It's just there's so much skin filling in between the hair. Yes, exactly. It's like how stars are spreading apart in the Milky Way. It's the same theory. God damn them to hell.

I think we only had like four or five of them up there. Dude, he's got the Pepsi from like 1994. So does he have like a wine cellar of old soda? I haven't seen that Pepsi logo since like 1994. So does he have like a wine cellar of old soda? I haven't seen that Pepsi logo since like 1988. He goes, honey, go get the crystal Pepsi. I've only seen that Pepsi in like photos of my

dad drinking soda. He's got Coke with cocaine in it. That's what he calls coffee. Oh, fuck. Should we watch one more at least? Yeah, of course. What does their banner say?

I can't believe you guys gave me the green line on watching them. American bullies. What are they talking about? Are they bullying their own heart? This channel is shoving their heart around. Yeah, they're giving their spleen a swirly. Look at you, faggot. Pumping all this blood. I'm'm gonna get my spine a noogie

it says this why does the banner say american bullies it says this channel is a variety of things in my big country life food weight loss fishing cars dogs etc also i love that i love their logos written in the uh fucking um rocky horror picture show font for some reason and it says viewer discretion advised in the logo which means they know they're disgusting yes yes uh i guess he does other stuff he changed the headlights in his truck he i mean he they literally are going on youtube's going on, YouTube? Big country coming at you almost again. Jesus Christ. There's a little chili out here in the yard today. I can only listen to this for so long. I bought this house for $85.

Because the government said, I'm not allowed to live here. Look at this fucking hunk of shit. Wait, do they eat this dog? Our bullies? Oh, that's what they started the channel around. These bulldogs that they eat for a living. And then it cuts to the, what is it called? The Chimalea?

What the fuck is that? Yeah, yeah. They're cooking that in that fucking Aztec furnace. Yeah, they might be. I don't even want to click on that. What's going on? They said this is our best burger yet. I don't know what that means.

Oh, by the way, they're in South Carolina. I've never been. I've only been to North Carolina. I'm pretty sure people don't talk like this in South Carolina. I've never been, I've only been to North Carolina. I'm pretty sure people don't talk like this in South Carolina. Right, so fucking, these are Ant's neighbors now.

Yeah. He goes, finally, I'm not around all these blacks. He'll spend, yeah, this is where Anthony lives now. I know, yeah.

He spends three months in South Carolina and he'll start hating white people too. Oh no, they meet Ant and he goes, he's a little too racist for us. They go, now don't

get me wrong, we love our racism down here, but you know, tone it down. Honey, that new guy's down there at the Popeye's with a snapper. Honey, they got, honey, our new neighbor, he's got a bunch of guns and he's a Jew black fella. I gotta see how good this burger is.

We're here in a little small town of Perry, South Carolina. They do have that thing, though, J.C., right, where it's like there's so much fluff. Where they're like, we're here, over here, and here. Yeah, we go down. Now, if you go down and you see it, if you happen to see it, I'm going to kill myself. Why do they have Louisiana accents? I don't know. Are they so fat they sound Cajun?

Yeah, I think that's it. They've eaten so many beignets that they've adopted the voice. You know, you adopt an accent if you live somewhere for too long. They might have watched too much foghorn leghorn growing up. And then they just started talking like that. They just ate at Bojangles too many times. Their tongue is a bay leaf. Okay, I got to see them show the burger.

By the way, they might be 19 years old for all we know. Jalapeno. Pimenta. We just got back from prom. Hot mess burger. Hot mess burger. That's the name of the burger. Hot mess burger.

It's got all the fixings on it I'm gonna go ahead and sneak a little peek That's tomato, onion What do fixings mean? Condiments? All the dressing It's literally like what's not meat or cheese They call it fixings It's slow

Oh, that's a hot jalapeno Oh, that's a hot jalapeno He talks like Steve Kuhn Oh, that's a hot jalapeno. Oh, that's a hot jalapeno. He talks like Steve. Oh, man. That's the first time my veins have opened up in 17 years. And he goes like, sushi sandwich. Like fucking Steve Brule. Steve Drool.

Steve Drool. Show a good picture. Good God. His breathing sounds like cumming. Is that mashed potatoes in the burger? Dude, I think it's kind of cheese. I think it's coleslaw, they say. That can't be coleslaw.

That's just mayonnaise or something. In this part of the country, that's what coleslaw is. Ooh, that's hot. I told you jalapenos were hot. Jesus Christ. And his eyes roll to the back of his head the way a great white, when a great white bites into something

for the first time and its eyes roll. That's crazy. Look at this. Oh, if they get too excited, they start eating each other's hands. They get a feeding frenzy going. Holy shit. It's on my first dinner.

Yeah, you're right. They don't eat, they feed. They feed, yeah. They're feeding right now. What does the lunch pail he brings to the job site look like? Is it a fucking

wheeled suitcase? It's a hefty bag. Yo, this is this is the ultimate Oh, they're sharing it too. It's weirdly sexual. And it keeps falling everywhere. They're like, why do I have that tomorrow morning?

Couples like this probably have great sex, though. Don't you think? They all fuck each other. I think they jack off and throw common pussy juice at each other's privates. And they eat it. Yeah, he throws commoner like it's fucking dice. What is this tattoos? Did you see that?

I think it's just used at restaurants. Yeah. He has a tattoo that says breathe between bites. He has memento tattoos for not eating himself to death.

It's horrific. Looks liketer shit. He's wearing a shirt that says Living the Dream, which is pretty funny. Dude, he's not happy about sharing it. Look at him. Look at him when she eats. He's like, fuck.

He's doing math. Have you ever seen a dog watch another dog eat from its bowl? He's growling. We think he's growling, but it's just his stomach. He's going to pick up another one of these on the way back. Yeah, it's got chili, slaw, jalapenos, less tomato, onion. His face stopped growing hair around his mouth like evolution, like fins, like something that grew fins.

I almost think it's like friction from brush fire burning down. He eats so fast that he burned it off. Give me what, the rest of it? If you want it. They got parmesan cheese on it too, ain't it? Yeah. No. Yeah, it does.

He go, I need to eat more because doctor figured out I got multiple rows of teeth like a shark. They just, when one falls out, I just, they fill in. Dude, I can like barely think now. I know. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Who eats a fucking burger like that? Look at this goddamn man.

I know. It really sucks. Do they go places? Do they travel? Do they go into restaurants? Yeah. I don't know if I can watch them eat anymore. What is this?

Oh, well, you're shit at a lot. Oh, my God. They actually go to the Walmart deli to get General Tso's chicken. Yeah. Which I didn't know you could do. Yeah. There's actually a deli in Walmart? I thought you were doing a bit. No south carolina apparently there is when they're when you they see him walking towards the deli the guy hits a button like a bank's being robbed

at walmart delis do they have like a that big ball cage thing but just with like meatballs and shit yeah Yeah, yeah. You drop your kids off, they swim through meatballs. Like the Ikea ball pit. He's pulling fried catfish out of like a napkin dispenser. I don't, I, Devin, I do not think they travel. Yeah. I will say he only drinks soda

out of styrofoam cups. They have a lot of diets. They have an Atkins diet. But then they go to have a lot of diets. They have an Atkins diet. But then they go to have a piggly wiggly lunch. Yeah. They can't travel because they can only exist at that altitude. They're like, if I go up

or down sea level, my blood starts boiling. Yeah, I don't think they go anywhere. Yeah, man. Wait, does it say morning burgers? Come on, man! Morning burgers out of new wings. Come man. Morning burgers out of new wings. Come on. Morning burgers out of new wings. That's their trade all day.

Oh, yeah. You're all good by that. Big country coming in one more game. Today in the kitchen. One more game. We got some hamburgers. I'm going to cut that on Casey. We got some hamburgers.

We're doing them in the oven today. Let me flip around and see what we got. Hamburgers in the oven, man. He's Atkins Bronson. Does that work, I guess? I like that. In action, Bronson. There we go.

They're going to be good. I ain't decide if I'm going to be greedy to eat all four of them or share one of them. We got to cook our own burgers today because my house is surrounded by the police right now. They're trying to smoke me out, but I'm just cooking some burgers on it. I wonder if they are going to acknowledge that they're eating burgers in the a.m. I don't think. No, I don't think he is. I'm about to bail on this video.

Yeah, I don't think they know the concept of different meals. I think it all blends together. They make the real good, good ones. There wasn't one of them left, and I ate it all blends together. I don't know if they're the good ones or if they're the real good ones. There wasn't one of them left and I ate it already. He's wandering around like Junior Soprano towards the end. Let's see what we can get into today. He's got fucking fat induced Alzheimer's. Those look good.

Let me get them on some buns. This is his version of a morning after party. I came in here last night. We worried about one of them little babies coming in. I was making a morning burger that killed a baby. Now my granddaddy make a stuffed potato kill any fetus.

What you do, you eat so much food it forces the miscarriage. It pushes that baby out. It'll walk your dad's baby into heart disease real quick. You take a cold hanger, you kill the fetus, and then you grill it on the cold hanger like a weenie.

Back at you one more again. Yes. Let me show you what you got. You're working with that. That's a double. He's putting ketchup on a hot knife like it's weed just inhaling it he's smoking out of a coke can but with coke in it today we vaporizing lamb yeah he never acknowledges that he shouldn't be eating burgers at 7 a.m

no like i said i literally think it's just it's one big meal to them. He doesn't know what morning is. Yeah. Anyway, I can't watch them anymore. My head hurts. Yeah. Yeah. That really sucks, man. It isn't.

It isn't saying what huge pockets of this country are pretty much. I mean, there's so many people like that. Yeah. Where they live. That's what everybody's like. Dude, check out. You can buy this home and fucking, you knowudruckers georgia for 50 grand it's like yeah because that guy's gonna kill you in your sleep yep yeah there's brett gellman again i'm just gonna leave this uh

behind us very good that should be your new twitter profile picture honestly this is brett gellman bre. Brett Gelman holding a shotgun. Yeah. That's pretty good. Fuck. My head hurts like shit now. Yeah. That's brutal, man.

We haven't done like a Yankee in the South style episode in like a year. But we did it with the new batch. It really is. The new batch. It's Yankee is out the new batch. It's like, check out these really fucked up gremlins yeah that really sucks they probably do give birth by shooting little balls out of their back when they get when they take a bath we kind of don't appreciate what we have not being them no no well that but

you look at will and Don and you go, God damn this, like, fuck this earth. And then you find people way worse. Yeah, it literally is like you see Will and Don and you're like, if you only knew how bad things actually are. No, I mean, yeah. Will and Don look like Nobel laureates compared to these people. Yeah, they're splitting the atom compared to what these guys are doing.

Oh, man. I don't even know what to talk about anymore i don't know either dude that's yeah i don't know how you move on from that really look at that it's like can you imagine being born and then seeing that those are your parents that's the life you're born into jesus i try to escape the hospital the which weird is the kids look relatively healthy that's how fucked up food is by the way is you can look like a normal healthy kid when you're like 16 and by the time you're 30

literally by the time you're 30 years old you look like them yeah well minnows are small for a period of time you know those kids could be too and the milk is just you know making them age like benjamin button but you can see it's changing their bones it's changing the shape not only they're fat the shapes of them they're so fat that they're they're their uh skull is growing into another big mouth

like four generations down the line they're gonna have a big pac-man head that just folds and eats stuff they're to have the face that the lady has in Beetlejuice with just all the teeth and the eyes and the mouth. So you never have to close it. It's like if like wrestling fans were going extinct, they'd like release these two into the wild. Like pandas? Yeah.

Man. Yeah, man. that was really bad I will say I will say I love both of them though they're very endearing they will and Don seem really mean like I hate the fucking me like I actually hate them I think I like these oh yeah yeah I think they're great she was

sweet yeah they were both you know what it is it's because they're doing their best and Will and Don are doing their worst, if that makes sense. But what is Will and Don's best? You know, not making YouTube videos. Yeah. I guess you're right. These people don't get excited to monetize.

They don't buy a yellow Jeep and do live streams and stuff. Yeah, he's not a- They're not narcissists. Yeah not he's not a narcissist yeah he's not a bojangles pretending to read the menu you know they they he walks into the bojangles and goes now i can't read the menu because i can't read y'all yeah he's like very honest about who they're like they're they're they're literally just making these videos where they eat like a couple that like they film sex tapes like because they have a kink and they just like i want to watch themselves fuck that That's right.

Yeah, these leak onto the internet. Yeah. Their kids steal them and upload them. Yeah, it was, oh, the fattening happened. Everyone get home and start jacking off your tongue. Fuck. Did you guys see that Trump told his voters to basically kill themselves? In the cold? He goes, even if you die, it'll be worth it if you vote for me.

Because it was too cold to vote for him? Well, apparently in most parts of the country right now, it's like negative 30 degrees. Yeah. I don't read the news, so I don't know what's going on. I just followed Taylor Swift. I know she was at a really cold football game. I think they're putting like, people are mad, I saw, because they're closing Chicago airport and putting people from Venezuela and migrants in there.

And somehow migrants made their way up there. I have no idea how. Sure, sure, sure. That sounds like something that's definitely true. They sent a lot to Chicago. Yeah, they're all over apparently. So who's sending people where? I don't fucking know what's going on, dude.

But yeah, they're all over apparently. So who's sending people where? I don't fucking know what's going on, dude. But yeah, they're there. I watched this like trap, this Peter Santanello guy on YouTube was pretty good. And he was in Chicago just taking a tour. And they're like all over. Venezuelans. Yeah, just a bunch of immigrants are like in like the police station like sleeping. And they don't know where to put them. What are they doing here?

They came to find the bear restaurant. You know. They go, we love it. Where is the bear? It's a Jeremy Allen way. Where is Mr. Jeremy Allen way? He was so good in the Iron Claw when he had no food.

It made me so sad. I don't know what they're doing here. Are these good migrants or bad ones? You know what I mean by that. I don't know what they're doing here. Are these good migrants or bad ones? You know what I mean by that. I don't know. They're not Muslim. All right. So they don't come with a handbook.

They don't come with a handbook. If you have Muslim migrants in your country, you're like, ah, man, they got... Yeah, you're like, read the manual. Yeah, they have a manual. Yeah, what does it say? Yeah, rape for breakfast. He goes, all right, don't let them near any 18-wheelers or knives. Yeah, they turn their hands into knives like Wolverine.

They just start stabbing a German woman. They come with a handgun. These migrants are just like, they don't know what to do. They're making their own beds, and they can't believe it yeah no london i saw they put up and they have like barriers on every sidewalk now and they call them anti-terror barriers because they had so many um muslim guys just driving fucking u-hauls into like crowds and stuff yeah which is fun to do 9-11 for five people yeah eating brunch we have better migrants yeah yeah they're just hard working hispanic people for the most part you know i mean yeah there it is a problem we do need to

close the border oh yeah close it up put some guns there it's getting a little crazy it's getting a little crazy but at least like i said they don't come and they're not like all allowing in the street and shit did you see that that video of the one coyote crossing them through the fence and he's being videotaped they have those huge tall fences and he just cuts one of the poles out and it's 40 Mexican dudes sneaking through and then the guy they're filming him

and he turns to the camera and he does he goes like that he literally does the Michael Jordan shrug and then he goes like peace and then he just like runs away wait did you say there's a coyote a coyote is a person who helps um mexican people across the border they call them so funny they call them a coyote really it's not an actual coyote that's not who they deal with that's

hilarious you know it's funny though and uh wait did you think that migrants were actually being led by a coyote that's what i I think. I literally thought that's what it was. Well, coyotes are very smart. They are. They are. They're very intelligent. I think if you ask him what he thinks Mexico is, there's literally like dogs with big sombreros

like cooking street food and like serving it to people. You know coyotes can read. Right. They can read. Sure. They memorize in Chicago. They memorize the things

on sides of food trucks. They know what trucks have food in Chicago. They memorize the things on sides of food trucks. They know what trucks have food. There's coyotes in Chicago? There's thousands of them downtown that live undetected. And they can cover up their shit and their piss. In Chicago? And they can live there for years. Coyotes live in every major city in downtown.

They can live in sewers and in mailboxes. There's coyotes in New York City and Manhattan? Tons of them. No, there's not. Is there? And they only live in bad neighborhoods. I've never once heard of anyone seeing a coyote in New York. They live there and nobody knows about it.

I'm sure like in Long Island. Okay. I swear to God, they live in the tunnels that the Jews made. You're just thinking you were in the Bronx once. Look at all these coyotes yelling at me with their long nails. You know these coyotes, they work at Cricket Wireless. They'll have big hoop earrings. They're always at Boost Mobile getting a new phone.

They call me a little faggot boy when I'm walking on the street. Coyotes. You know, these coyotes, they run these tropical fish shops. No, that's not the question. The question is New York City. You can't ask in the U.S. 105 U.S.s 105 u.s cities surveyed coyotes are present in all of the large and medium-sized cities and in three

quarters of the small of 105 surveyed but look at new york are there coyotes in new york city there's tons of them in detroit in chicago well you're not looking up new york right i mean detroit detroit i'm assuming has every natural disaster that can exist on Earth. They have like monsoons. Well, because they're close to Canada, too. And it's a very mountainous, whatever. Wilderness. They're sited in New York City.

Upstate. Upstate New York. They're sited in New York City. It says right fucking here, retard. That is fucking Central Park right there, motherfucker. Occasionally, they are sighted in New York City. Occasionally. That's Jimmy Fallon.

Dude, that would rule if Jimmy Fallon was just balled by coyotes outside 30 Rock. They dragged him into Central Park and raped him and ate him. That's a well-fed coyote, too. That's eating a lot of rats and everything. Oh, I'm sure, yeah. And in Chicago, there's 4,000 coyotes. That seems pretty wild. That makes more sense.

Yeah, I feel like L.A. is like fucking, what, like 10 million? We are the king of coyotes. No, they estimate there's about 750,000 in L.A. County. Nah, that's not too bad.

Hell yeah, dude. There really is gonna come a time when we start getting like killed by them, right? When there's so many of them. I guess. That like somebody

gets swarmed by like hundreds of them and dragged off. Yeah. It is funny when you hear them like howling and you know they gotta kill yeah and they're really like they're really bragging like they brag yeah yeah they go yeah it's like a it's like a battle rap or something oh truly like a crowd they go oh shit body bag season some like lady's cat is being mauled. Put him in ISO. Put him in a grave.

It's over. Expose his ass. Coyote's like, we gonna get this work. Yeah, coyotes listen to Drake. Yeah. There's a coyote on Murda Mook's podcast. Oh, the guy that's the expert in the world about coyotes is this guy named Dan Flores, and he wrote about the history of them.

Coyotes, it's an interesting thing, coyotes, because apparently you can tell how someone votes based on how they pronounce the word coyote. Okay. And it's like 100% accurate. What's the other way to pronounce coyote? Coyote. Coyote? Well, that's like saying somebody who can't read is going to be more conservative.

If you say coyote, we got a bunch of damn coyotes. Yeah, there's always that white liberal guy that goes, it's actually coyote. It's coyote. These coyotes. You guys want to see the coyotes in Detroit? We were at fucking Grand Central Market, and we got this really good Mexican food, but there was a drink I never heard of called... It's spelled Jamaica is the drink.

Yeah, Jamaica. And my girlfriend was like, it's Jamaica. I'm like, then fucking no. It's fucking... It is Jamaica. That's literally the word Jamaica right there. It's like that flowery, like red tea. It was pretty good.

It was pretty good. But I'm like, you know, fucking angle it up a little bit. Don't be the person who goes to a food truck and is like, can I get a pupusa? Can I get a chimichanga? Yeah. I mean, they're pretty much in every county in Michigan. Just take a kind of close look how close we are, actually, to downtown. I mean, the Renaissance Center is right there.

Is that downtown Detroit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, that sucks ass. It's like three buildings. This tall grass. It looks like I am legend kind of. I was going to say, you see Grand Torino there. Fucking

Mexican dogs. Get off my goddamn lawn. Just as I showed up here this morning... Detroit is basically like a prairie. It's like people living in log cabins and stuff. Detroit's having a renaissance, actually, right now. Oh, lots of artists are moving there?

I hope they all get killed by black people. Detroit's downtown's thriving. I hope they all get killed by black people. I'll repeat myself again if I was unclear. The pistons are just... The players are shooting into the crowd. Any hip fucking

line cook that's moving there because Detroit's on the up and up, fuck them. I hope they all die. I hope they all get stabbed and shot and beheaded. That being said, I think Detroit, I think Detroiters are happy about it.

Well, good. Cause it's making the city. Well, I hope black ISIS kills them all. If they have an ISIS. Yeah, you think which I'm assuming they do. You think there's a mosque

in Detroit? Yeah. And I hope the coyotes rise up and they live. I hope they live one with the coyotes in Detroit. Like the coyote is a, well, there's one coyote that's king

that becomes mayor. Oh, I was expecting on this news story them to be like, the coyotes are actually good because they've been eating crackheads. They've been cleaning up the city. Out of the group I mentioned. They're awesome.

I love them. We're brazen. And that is the coyote. Terry McFadden has been with the Michigan DNR for over 20 years and says he isn't surprised that coyotes are making a comeback in urban settings like Detroit. A lot of times in urban settings, they learn to not be afraid of people because they're not being harassed or hazed. According to the DNR, they're in every county in Michigan.

Yeah, hell yeah. And they're scavengers. Represent. And they pretty much eat anything from insects to rodents and sometimes even house pets like cats and small dogs. McFadden says they're becoming. Yeah, get used to it, bitch. Mm-hmm. Get fucking used to it.

Yeah. They're doing coyote fighting in Detroit. Coyotes are on my front door every night screaming and yelping. No, I know. We famously had an issue with them. But they're back now. They're back now. Oh, they're back with a vengeance?

Well, the thing I was going to say about Mexico, because I was like, there's no coyotes in Mexico, really, because once you get... Yes, there are. No, no, no, because once you get south enough, the wolves dominate.

Oh, they love us. They love us. They love us. Ain't no damn lobos. Ain't no damn lobos. In Mexico, you'll hear a a how that you've never heard before that's not a coyote it's just a guy at a whorehouse

coming Bobby Lee with an 11 year old hooker yeah it's a yeah it's been in Mexico hearing and he goes that's a sick desert wolf. He goes, listen, the wolves are out there playing mariachi music from a shitty speaker.

I feel like I have a fatty liver from laughing too hard. I need to get in shape because I got a baby girl. My baby girl. I got to do something. You've probably been watching fat people so much it's been hurting your liver. Dude, it has. And like I showed

my daughter the whale and she's been like overeating. She's really fat now. When I change her diaper, I take her diaper off and her gut like flies out and lays like over her pussy. Are you going to create

a YouTube channel for her? That's Ben's version of a baby monitor who's watching YouTube videos of his daughter eating. What's that chugging guy, the black chugging guy that we watched? That's your job to remember. I don't know.

I know what you mean, unfortunately. His name is Something Chugs, or Badland Chugs. She's like Badland Chugs, but with breast milk. You're giving her breast milk in a boot. Mike Racine keeps telling me to drink titty milk. They say it's good. My other friend told me, too, that it tastes great't know he loves Hamas so I don't think we can listen to him

what is wrong with you god you've been insane all episode you look like a crack ass why does this keep happening rubbing your nose and your eyes and hiccuping this is why I watch really great big fat people do retarded shit on YouTube because it's like I feel like I'm smoking PCP or something.

Because I'm laughing so hard, it moves me into this weird high state. I can't function anymore. I need Narcan. I watched The Whale three times. You guys are coming over with an Epipen. I mean, you did knock the little Japanese cat down three times. This little Japanese cat right here. Fuck, that was so funny.

Anyway, patreon.com slash limaparty. Yep. Yes, that is it. That's what the Patreon is. Is this episode Patreon? Who knows? Who knows? Jace at Hate Watch Pod.

Jace at Sad Trunks by Jace. I'm Devin Costa. You're Ben Avery. Devin at Hate Watch Pod. This is a fun app. It was good. Good app. Very good. I had a fun time.

Love that. Fun. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Yeah. You should just start drinking. Yeah, you really should. I've really had it with this. You have all the side effects of drinking.

Why are you more fucked up than me? I don't man because i you know what's weird too i feel like if i started drinking again i would lose weight because i'm just i'm going back to food because you wouldn't care anymore about eating yeah i didn't give a fuck about eating when i was drinking all the time yeah i never ate ever when you got sober i would come over and you'd be like look i made look at there's a chicken in the crock pot and i poured this and that and that and i'm like yeah okay interesting interesting before this you were skinnier i do i do miss those days when i was stirring peanut butter into a bunch of beans i will say though what huh i would have like ben used to make this concoction of beans that was really fucking i would i would i this is what i thought to like add protein to my beans as i'm

boiling beans In a pot I would crack eggs And let them fall Into the beans And I would stir it up And it would become pink And like It would look like

That stuff that they make Chicken nuggets with In that viral picture Yeah the pink goo The McDonald's It looked like the inside Of a ball sack And he would eat it

Well the eggs Is more I understand that It looked like Like a lumpy bubble gum But you used to put Peanut butter Into your beans Oh I would put eggs Oh okay I think i would and now on the side i'd have toast with

like peanut butter and stuff oh that's well that's perfectly fine it's not peanut butter in here but it did look really fucked up the way he made it no it was insanely retarded i did that yeah just get one more pan out there fry them eggs up up. Put it on the side, you know? Yeah, the side, it's great. Mixed in a little odd. Mixed in a little gross. Cracking eggs into beans and then stirring them. Bean juice eggs? Because a lot of it's the juice.

Yeah, it was really weird. I don't know why I was doing that back then, but all I thought about was beer, so I didn't care. But I will say I lost, I think, like 30 pounds when I quit drinking. Really? Yeah. Interesting. I didn't remember you from being there's that picture of me holding the budweiser and i'm the fattest i've ever been yeah i guess so you were you had that beer way fuck you you drank a lot of beer i drank

a lot of beer i was bloat i was like a loaf of bread yeah i've shown there was i had my like my body was rising from within my stomach i remember the Meltdown sign up was at four in the afternoon on a Monday. And you'd get there like 3.33 sometimes. And you were already holding a tall can like wide open. I was like, oh, you're drinking. A 24 ounce PBR. Middle of the day on a Monday. You drive up like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride like back and forth on the curbs.

Papers like flying behind you. All right. Well, thanks everybody for watching Lemon Party. Go see us in Houston by the way. There's a date to see us in Houston on February 9th and in Austin I don't know if those are sold out but that's on February 7th to see the live podcast.

And bye guys. Bye. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl Nighttime would find me in Rose's Cantina Music would play and Paulina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Paulina Wicked and evil while casting a spell My love was deep for this Mexican maid I was in love but in vain I could tell

One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind