lemonparty - 070: The Gospel According to Vito

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

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["Chicka-Won-Won"] Are you recording already then? Yeah. Okay, great. I was about to talk about a birthday gift I'm getting for somebody, but I wouldn't want to do that. You can, I'll edit it out. You going through your DMs?

How you looking at the random girl? Oh, I just hate this lady. The lady that's... I saw this today and I legitimately didn't know what I would answer. Cause the prompt is like, who would you rather spend the rest of your life with? The IHOP Big Titty retard?

Or the I can has cheeseburger, Renfair. The lady that's like, poke, poke, I poke you. Yeah, the woman who gets Matthew Chepard at a Renfair. Yeah, I'm fluent in cat. She's annoying, but I feel like she's putting on a, this is an act. It's a big plan, it's obviously a but I feel like she's putting on a this is an act

She's hotter too like she's more attractive than the than the I hop Rudy to the fresh and fruity retard I actually feel like women are evolving a little bit because they they're sort of mastering I Never gave women comedically anything right right now. They are yeah, none of us have no We've never people ask me who my favorite female comedians I go Lucille ball. Mm-hmm. It's taken to go back. I have to be like a 50s I guess they were funny pre civil rights. I go you ever see find somebody I go you ever see the ads for the Carol Burnett show DVDs When she sucked and was messing up the sketch that was really funny. I'm like now olive oil. She was funny I'm so sexist that I'm watching old I Love Lucy, I'm like, well, that bitch shut up.

Yeah, you hate her. Yeah, I'm yelling at Desi to give her some backhand. Always with some hijinks, this bitch. Make dinner. She can't even work at a fucking chocolate factory. This whore. And that's why women deserve less. Damn right.

But I do love, I see women in the past year, they've gotten to being cringe as a bit. I'm like, not bad actually. You guys kind of figured, you're leaning into sucking ass actually. I think women are finally discovering how bad they can be and still get laid whenever they want to.

I think it's kind of an experiment they've been running. Yeah, that's right. It's a revolution. There's been a, there was a lady on Twitter, I forget like a year ago she was posting, she just like turned Tinder into a video game and was seeing how terrible she could be. And still like, she was like messaging guys,

so like, what do you like to do? She's like, I'm in the KKK and I love Hitler. Hail Hitler. They're like, damn, haha. They're like, damn, haha. That's crazy. That's great. We should fucking hood. You know, it was Travis Kelsey being like, damn, I mean, he did make the trains run though. Damn, ma. So you be loving Hitler or anything? I thought I'll make you cross flame, honey mama. You fucking jet eggs. The the IHOP lady, that video should end with a gun going up to her temple

and blowing her head off. But she I would go with her because she likes to eat. Yeah, I also. I mean, everybody's just going to choose her because she has big tits. I mean, that was yeah. Yeah, she's got I mean, everybody's just gonna choose her cause she has big tits. I mean, that was, yeah. Yeah, and she's got a nice big rent. And the other lady has booger tits.

Yeah, but the other lady is prettier, but. Devin, if a woman has, if a woman has C-Cups or less, I don't see her form. Yeah, honestly, fuck, how about this fuck looks? I want extremities. If I'm walking down the street, I see a woman, and my gauge, her C-cups are less, my brain does the black mirror thing,

where she's a static outline of a person. Go, wow, yeah, the most gorgeous face I've ever seen, but I don't know, no ass, no tits. Who cares? She's not shaped like a horse. Who cares? The funny thing is, this is the funny thing about life. This is the right woman.

This is the woman you actually want. But you don't. You don't, because fuck her. Look at those, she has itty bitty titties. And she looks like she judges you. She looks mean. I want the retard. Give me that mousy retard with her stupid rat fucking grin.

Big John Lennon glasses, dumb glasses, pushed up tins. I John Lening glasses, big dumb glasses, push-up tits. I'd love to cum all over those glasses. I love big nasty naturals. Just put your dick through the lens, pop the lenses out. I'll fuck your eyes. Yeah. Guys just love big nasty naturals.

People don't know that about guys. Sloppy tits. One of our hidden secrets. We want the tits to be like salivating. Like there's like saliva coming out of them. Like they just ate a big burger. Yeah. You want a titty like be like like salivating like there's like saliva coming out of them like they just ate a big burger Yeah, you want a titty like a chow dog. Yeah, I want it. I want tits that smoke cigars Down to a nut. I want tits that look like a Carl's Jr. $6 burger

Just mayonnaise falling out of them mayonnaise mix with ketchup Old racist how and titties love it because you Because you could fuck the shit out of this lady and then just treat her like shit. Oh yeah. Well I was going to say this woman's great until the moment you come and then you have to hit her in the head with a big rock. Like Piggy from War to the Flies.

That's how you put her to bed. You have to knock her out. You go, all right, goodnight sweetie. I love you. And then just, pfft. I mean, truly, that's one of the worst videos I've ever seen on the internet. But people love a hose hound. They love a hose hound.

The fellas love a hose hound. What's a hose hound? I don't know, it's a dumb and dumber. He goes, look at the fun bags on that hose hound. Oh yeah, but he's retarded. Yeah, I don't know. He doesn't know what a pussy is. I watched dumb and dumber when I was sick last week

because I got food poisoning because I, like, ate shoelaces or something. You got sick how they get sick in Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. You ate a big hot pepper and sprayed mustard in your mouth. I realize I have the same diet as Lloyd Christmas. I eat exactly like it. And you drink beers in the car.

You talk to black people like him walking out of that gas station. Hey guys, big gulps, huh? All right. Dude, I do that. You're that guy. You literally do that. You do do that. Yeah.

Damn. Yeah, everything he eats in the movie, he's eating the chips talking about Pete. I'm like, this is everything. He never eats a salad once. Before you're working in podcasts, you did have a lot of schemes too. You're the only guy knew with a lot of hair brain schemes, dude. I kind of was like I was like dumb and dumber Yeah, you'd be like the one guy who's like here's here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna farm shrimp in the garage

It's it's the gold of the sea dude I thought about growing a portobello mushrooms for a long time and she talked not I thought about growing a Portobello mushrooms for a long time. And she talked, not psilocybin mushrooms. I wanted to get into growing mushrooms to sell to local grocers. Right, which if the DA caught you, they'd be like, you're in a rush for being gay.

For growing shizuaki. You can't even get high off of these? Yeah, they like burst into your closet. They're like, this is the gayest shit I've ever seen. Yeah, he's one of these farmers market retards. Thinks he's gonna make an extra buck. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

But I learned hosehound from Dumb and Dumber. Yeah, you're right. Look at the thumb bags on that hosehound. Yeah, I don't know what that means. Great lines. Great lines. I mean, just one after the other and Dumb and Dumber. Don't forget, Lord Christmas.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Here's what you want with these two is you wanna take the brain from the mean lady I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. There's no way she's not mean as shit. Well, this is her fake character she plays on the internet. Oh, you think behind closed doors, she turns into like a raging bull? Yeah, she's pretending to be like a trapper journal

sixth grader in terms of her personality. Like she just plays hopscotch all day and loves Pokemon. This is another thing that pisses me off is women that act like, it's like the hottest woman you've ever seen. And it's like, nobody wants to go on a date with me because I can quote every single line from Star Wars, episode six.

And I've ran into women like this and I've been like, oh, what do you think of like General Grievous or whatever and they're like, I don't know who you're talking about at all. I don't know who that is, you raped me, get away from me. I'm me too. I'm me too in here. It's all a lie.

No, because that's why I've known those women in my life towards the, it's a 10 out of 10 woman. She's like, no one wants to go on a date with me. And then use privately or like, hey, would you like to go on a date sometime? They're like, I will accuse you of rape right now. If you do not get the fuck away from it. I'm calling the police.

I'm calling the police. I will flirt with you up to the point you think I'm about to suck your dick. And then when you try to make a move, I'll act like you're the predator. Dude, so many guys must be, because you go, I just thought you were a woman who went to Disneyland by herself and was really lonely,

but you just nerd out about like the shit I love. Because I love Star Wars because I don't get pussy. So all I think about is like Anakin, Skywalker and like pod racing and shit. No, it's a pick me woman is what you're talking about. Yeah, the woman who needs constant male attention because she was molested by her uncle. This lady like this this this I hop lady I guarantees a middle school teacher and she's fucked hundreds of students 100% pedophilia talks like Julian Moore in May December. Yep with the little lift. Yeah, talks like Julianne Moore in May, December. Yep. With the little lith.

Yep, she's telling a fucking 14 year old, come inside me. I want you to come inside me. It's okay. It's okay, I'm on birth control. And she's lying. She totally lying. She wants to have a little 21 year old father.

Yeah, no, she's brutal. Cause you also have to factor in this choice, like bringing her around your friends Oh, I we got to show the other lady. Oh, yeah, the other lady show the poke poke That's right. We got so distracted by her big tits. We just forgot the other lady existed enough of the retard get to the random girl Yeah, get to this woman with fabulous C cups who I hate I go by her highness princess waffles next squirrel, but on Tuesdays and gummy bars And I do get an urge to just slither throughout right now I'm annoyed. I am silly. Yeah, she's just an emoticon personality.

Oh, God. I'd love to throw an overcooked steak at her head, scream at her, accuse her of fucking my brother. If she made me a perfectly cooked dinner and she went to the bathroom for a second, I would get up, put it in the oven, burn it, sit back down. So I could be like, you stupid bitch. I'd love to see this lady in a James Cacney movie. He's just shoving pies in her face. Just smushing her face the whole time.

Making her eat a whole grapefruit. Using her face like a juicer. Ma, don't like pokes and she's not random. You can't have cheeseburger, dammit. You're not fucking random. You're not random, see? Yeah, she ain't. It is she.

You're a dumb bitch, she ain't. You're stripping on Twitter. You're getting dunked on. You're getting ratioed, see? Dude, I don't know what guys won't do for pussy. Well, yeah. Well, I was gonna say. Guys would be like, I love Dr. Seuss's The Lorax.

Oh, listen. It's my favorite movie. Listen, I'm criticizing these women. You could take a time machine to 2015 East LA. There's me in a bar going like, my god, you're so random. That's crazy. And then zoom into my head, I'm like, please suck my dick. Please, god, suck my dick or I'll fucking kill myself.

She's a woman wearing like a neon cat shirt. It's the cat with the pop tart and the rainbow. And's she's doing like emotes where she's going like yeah, and I'm like God, it's gonna be great Yeah No I'm fixing a con him on my weird dick Under the table. At the drawing room. You're putting a conom on me.

I'm sheathing my... In public. In public. I'm like, no, get another rim and coke. You're so random. I love you. I'm going, mmm. Mmm.

I'm shoving my dick in the conom soft. Dude, I know a guy who was really bad at getting laid in college. I went to high school with him, but he went to another college and I heard this story about him. He was so bad at getting pussy, the word traveled. It traveled from Lubbock to Abbey. It made it quayish. Like he was in the wild west. Like, well, there's a fella who never got no pussy at an air passage.

He was just a guy that everybody knew guys growing up that were rapey. Yeah. Just pushy, weirdos. Sure. Around women, their shoulders were always just like wound up and clenched and they were always like, fuck!

Because they know they're a criminal, they know somebody might slit their throat so that their natural protection, they put their shoulders up, protect the neck. Yeah. Protect the neck. Yeah. Protect the arteries and stuff. Yeah, cause I rape a lot and people, these women could have razors.

They're trying to protect their neck from me too allegations. Yeah. Apparently this woman like reluctantly went with like, he had a roommate and then these other two girls were roommates and they decided to go back to this apartment because the other girl wanted to hook up with his roommate. But she was like, I might make out with this loser on the couch,

but like there's no way I'm fucking him. And like that was very, very clear. Like she said that she's like, I'm not gonna fuck you. I'm doing this in my room I can get. Pretty much. That was like the understood thing. She got up off the couch and like got a soda or something from the fridge.

And when she turned back around, this guy was completely naked. And he was wearing a condom. Really? He had a full condom on his erect penis. She was like, what are you doing? And he goes, he's like, what? He's like, are we not gonna fuck?

And she's like, no. And he goes, but I already have the condom And he pointed at he pointed at it like this is like I already put the condom on No one knows how he already had the condom I think he's guys like warrants I think he wore it on the day dude He might have been like had a look twist tie that you do bread with, like he breadfresh. Like he might have had that around his dick soft, so it wouldn't fall off. He might have super glued the base of the condom

to the tip of the base of his penis. So it was just hanging in there. Yeah, I think you're right. And then he gets hard throughout the day. By the way, midway through sex, he just sneakily takes the condom off. 100%. And then comes inside of her.

He puts it on every morning like pants. It's like dick pants to him. It's got the little straps like for your socks. Yeah. Yeah, the garters. He has a tie-it, like joggers. Because he's got a little drawstring around the top. Yeah, he has a little drawstring and ties it.

Throughout the day, he's like reaching in his pants. He's like, I can't wait to rape a woman today. I don't want my condom to be baggy. People will think I'm a wigger. Put little suspenders on it. Keep his condom from falling off. Tie him to his balls. Well, yeah, he's a rapist.

So he always needs to stay strapped. I was like, yeah, of course guys are capable of, you know how someone can tie a cherry stem with their tongue? Like he's, rapists can do that with condoms. Which is they, they just do that. Rapists are almost like magicians cause they make somebody's hope and joy disappear.

They lift up a curtain. You take it from them for the rest of their life. They lift up a curtain and they go down. It's like, and your entire future, it's gone. Yeah, cause you're, I guess you're trust in everybody and it's all gone. Yeah, I'm sorry, not to be woke. Never ever, oh yeah, not to be a cock.

Not to be woke, but I think rape is bad. Yeah, we see a graph behind us with the Patreon and it starts to. There's a guy with the long ticker paper just being like, fuck, boys, you're fucked. We need you to do, I ticker paper just being like fuck boys. Yeah, fuck We need you to do I'm at a podium being like I actually love to rape here's all the women I have raped We gained five thousand more subscribers Yeah, big marching band

Confet we're in the New York like fucking stock market parade My friend was in the other room at the time getting raped by a woman though. It's a very interesting story. He was raped by a woman. Yeah, because he was just passed out drunk and she like he couldn't do anything. Was this Amy Schumer?

Yeah, it was Amy Schumer. Mm-hmm. He was in the bed and he was fucked up and she like had a con him and put it on his dick and fucked him, but he was passed out. Oh man. Do you really care though when that happens, like when you wake up the next day?

He kind of shrugged it off. Right. But he didn't know he fucked. She told him that, I guess he remember, I'm not really sure what he did though, but he knows he got raped. She goes, I raped you last night. He's like, oh, okay, well that's.

Women just say that. Yeah. They're like, well I won't say anything because I'm not fucking gay, so. That's rough. But yeah. Being a woman that needs to, you have to rape. To get, plus, you're gonna get penis?

You must really suck ass. A rape is the only. A woman that's raping men, holy shit. Well it's literally Amy Schumer's the only person I've heard of raping a man. It's the only story I've ever heard too. She just force feeds men like foie gras. They wake up fat.

Mm-hmm. God, I couldn't imagine fucking her. Men get whiskey and coke dick around her because her blood sugar's so high. And they're sober. I think I would fuck Amy from the back, and then as I'm coming, I'd pull out a gun and blow her head off. I can't like end of gone girl. He slittered through.

I'm like, I'm almost there, babe. She's like, I feel like a coldness the back of my head and some pressure. You're like, oh, that's my calm. It's my wet, cold, calm. My cold metallic calm. Amy rapes me because she thinks the calm is glazed. He puts it on her toaster strudel.

Can you imagine fucking her from behind? You have to wear a big cartoon nose pen over your nose. Yeah, in 95 mask and shit. Yeah, yeah 95 mask and has Matt suit with your dick hanging out. Tape your balls in a plastic sack so they don't swing around and hit her. Hit her trash pussy. Dress like an astronaut to fuck her. Yeah. Afterwards, they got to like spray you down like it's Monsters Inc. Put a big screen around you and spray it.

Dude, if I fucked her and I came home, I would want to be de-loused. Like Andy Defrain at the beginning of the Shawshake redemption when they're just rolling in and baking powder and stuff. I'd be like, poor lie on me. Like, melt my outer skin off, my outer dermis. Do some David Fincher shit to me.

Yeah, she fucking sucks. Yeah, I'd fucking, I'd kill her. I'd fucking her. Second week in a row, you're really violent. I'd cut her head off as I'm fucking huge violent claims No, but it's all but it's a comedy bug Ever gets mad at me. I'm a joke And if I face no punishment, I you know, maybe I was serious I

Kind of the only thing I think because I'm very happy in my relationship with my wife and my kid and I got a whole thing here and it's, I mean it's paradise on earth really. It's, I really hit the jackpot over here. But sometimes. Sometimes I throw a knife at pictures of Amy Schumer. No, but the only situation I'm like, you ever see a woman on the internet

and she has a disability of some kind and you go, interesting, I wonder. And your man mind sort of plays it out to its own. How would it be? Could I do this? Yeah, I've seen women with Tourette's before and I'm like, it probably is grippy and it twitches. Yeah, right, right.

When you're fucking her and she's gonna, like she's shouting slurs. She's also like convulsing like this. You kinda like the twitches. She says the end word because of her tics and you come immediately. Or like, what if you dated a woman with like terminal hiccups? Right.

Like every five seconds, just her pussy does this. Yeah, dated a woman with no legs, you know, two stumps.ups. Right. Like every five seconds, just her pussy does this. Yeah. Day to woman with no legs, you know? Two stumps. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Day to woman with no arms.

Yeah, you date like a lady who looks like a chicken nugget. Yeah. Basically. Right. You just date a big nugget. Yeah. You dip it in sauce all day. Yeah, day one of those acid victims from the Middle East.

Or she just looks like a Francis Bacon painting on her head. Strap to a chair screaming. Yeah, screaming and pain. You know, like this is a great movie, I love this movie. She's going, ehh! Ehh! It's just like, ehh! She goes, ehh!

She's just going, ehh! Cause calm hits her skin and it starts burning. Because all of her nerve endings were exposed by a Muslim person. It was through acid. You fall out of your chair, you're leaning forward. Yeah, I die, I hit my head on the corner and bleed out. But I've only been like, oh, Tourette's.

Like, I, because there's pretty ladies with Tourette's on TikTok and I don't think they're joking about it. I think Tourette's. Because there's pretty ladies with Tourette's on TikTok. And I don't think they're joking about it. I think Tourette's is fake. Interesting. I think they just want to say it. It's a big scam. I think, you know what I think it is? I think it, I agree with you.

I think it's like an unwanted thought syndrome for some people where they don't like telling themselves no. So if they have a thought and they're obsessive, so it's like OCD and if they think something, they just say it. I did however know a guy who was really fucked up in college and he had like a computer chip

put in his brain. I think his Tourette's were so bad. So bad, really. I sat next to him in an accounting class and one time he grabbed a, because if he got Tourette's, the chip would short circuit his brain, so he'd start doing something,

and then you'd see him go like that. And he one time, I was sitting next to him, he grabbed my pencil and went to stab me in the balls. And midway down, he just goes, and then like drop the pencil. See, it's fake. The guy just wants to hurt people. He turns it to the guy at the end of saving Private Ryan,

pushing the knife. Yeah, and he's whispering. He goes, okay, okay, at the end of saving Private Ryan, pushing the knife. Yeah, he's whispering. He goes, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. I have to rest. I have to rest. I have to rest. I have to rest. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I just tried to hold him. I forgot he almost stabbed you in the testicles with a number two pencil. Yeah, but don't worry, I called him gay

and punched him in the face. You fucking text him. And I go, you fucker! It's Texas, you're allowed to punch people with disabilities. It's like when your roommate kills himself and they give you all As, it was the same thing. Yeah.

Like he almost touched your balls so you get all A's this semester. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Would you? He was a nice guy though, but he couldn't drink alcohol because it would like short circuit the chip in his brain

and he would die. Yeah. And there's one time we were on a ski trip and he had nine non-alcoholic beers. And we were- He liked me for real. Yeah, he just liked me for real. And we calculated like, oh, that's like technically one beer. If you have like one more, you'll die.

And we like had to wrestle a non-alcoholic beer out of his out of his hands. Yeah. And we were like, we were like, I'm not going to say his name. I'll call him Jacob. I was like, we're like, Jacob, don't drink that. And he's like, I want to drink it. It was like short circuiting. Good guy, though. Because he had a he literally had he had like electronics in his head. Yes. And it would was like short circuiting. Good guy though. Because he literally had electronics in his head. Yes, and it would literally like short circuit.

He told us this. They put a computer chip in his brain. Imagine you're a human that comes with AppleCare. Yeah, we have to take it to the genius bar. They're like, it'll be like a few weeks. We're like, he keeps on saying the N word around black people. They're like, oh, we get this all the time. Oh yeah, he got water on his chip.

Did you let him have nine non-alcoholic beers? Yeah, classic problem. Classic NA case. Classic NNA case. What about banging a woman in a wheelchair? Do they, if they're in a wheelchair, do they feel it in their pussy? I think it depends.

Well, I think a woman feels an orgasm throughout her entire, if you're doing it right, fellas. They fill it from the tip of their, they fill it in their hair follicles all the way down to the tips of their toes. If you're throwing pipe, you know? Yeah. If you're stroking your shit out there, you know? If you a real pipe hit.

You're piping motherfucker. Motherfucker. Yeah, I'm not. So that's not happening. No, no, no, no. I go, I came, bye. Thank you, goodbye. Thank you, night night.

Okay, thank you for the pussy. Thank you, I go to bed now. You treated like the positing a check at the bank. I literally, it's yeah, we're good now. I treated like I'm taking a picture on my bank app of the check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's sent. I'll get an email'm taking a picture on my bank app of the Jack. Yeah. Yeah. It's a scent I'll get an email confirmation in a couple days. She's like, can you and you like all right? Goodbye?

You sign her pussy real quick. Yeah, whatever. Let me endorse this February 24th. I haven't cast it 27 seconds. Thanks Gives a shit about you look back about you. Look back. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Like, what do you get at it? What do you get at it? Fuck them and then go to another one that doesn't know that you don't care about them.

Nerd. Nerd, just keep fucking women that think you're about to give them the business. And then you just come and you go, thanks, bye-bye. I also do love the guys where they're like, dude, my woman, I got it. Every time my goal, make her come like six times. It's like, oh, you don't make her come at all.

No. Yeah. You rub her pussy, like you're trying to start a fire with like two rocks and eventually she pretends to come six times because she's in pain. Those guys after they asked the woman so many times, did you come? They have to start going, no, I came like, I lost count because how many times?

It's literally like you're holding a gun to their pussy and being like, did I make you come? And they're like in Guantanamo Bay of a relationship. They're like, yeah, I came, you're dick's so huge and I came so many times. It was great. He's like, okay, do you like me?

They're like, no. Yeah. Yeah. The guys that like when they're fucking, the woman is literally fingering herself to make herself get off Mm-hmm. You're just jacking off inside of her basically. Yeah, which if your girlfriend does that you should tell her She's a bad person. Yeah, don't you ever do that?

You pull out don't you disrespect I go did you come? People a lot of men think it's nice. They build did you come I go did you come? I'm really angry. I go, did you? I saw you shake. Did you frickin'? Were you fuckin' shakin'? Did you feel a- You disrespect me and my house.

This is about me. I come! I have the liquid! Well that's like air. Ha ha ha ha ha! It comes out of my balls, it gushes. It's the main point. Isn't that like Arab guys? Arab guys cut the pussy like clean off.

They slay it like a fish, right? And then they go, OK, now I can enjoy this. Yeah, they skid it like a homeless guy in an apple. Yeah. Just cut off and then eat it. That's how they eat pussy is they cut it off and then eat it. Guys in fucking. In Middle East, I'm picturing it like the home like Christopher

Lloyd and Dennis the menace. That's exactly what you're my brother. I love you. I love you. And you know what I'm talking about kind of pussy. You know what I mean? Oh, man. But yeah, I think if you like want to make women come and stuff and you're really good at that, it's to me, you're like a social I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. It's like, what have you done? You done anything? Who gives a shit? My job is to pay the rent and be mean to you until you make me come. You should be coming as quick as possible to move on with life. That's why Patrick Bateman's the ultimate dude,

because that scene where he's fucking the lady, he's just looking in the mirror and flexing. Yeah, he said to himself. Yeah, it's about you. It's about him. Yeah, I fucking roll. Who gives a shit about her? Yeah, it's awesome.

Even not ironically, I watched that scene. I know it's supposed to be a critique of of guys, but I'm like, that fucking rocks. That's awesome. That fucking rocks. That's awesome. I'm going to do that one time. He doesn't care. All he needs is a little friction. Every man going out to a bar looking for friction. You said it beautifully once you told a man at a lemon party live show that is her his girlfriend was a Kleenex. Right, well he was dating a porn star.

Dating a porn star, it's like, yeah, that's great. But that's awesome, because who cares? That guy was cool as shit. He was awesome. And that's badass. He was a cool guy, he's having fun, he's young, have at it. But in what way is that real? It's like you're literally dating a fleshlight.

Not even a fleshlight, because a fleshlight, you're the only one using it. Yeah. Yeah. You're dating a hole in a wall of a truck stop. You're dating a hole in a wall that has like health insurance that like gets doctors checkups. Yeah. But you have to drop off at the apartment where she gets fucked by a guy a guy named Mandingo Manny.

That guy says he jacks off in the other room as she's getting fucked every night. Yeah. Because it's getting fucked every night. Yeah, because it's like live action porn. He's like, I'm into theater because I go to Broadway. Yeah, he's throwing roses at her when she comes. She bows. Bravo, bravo. Well, it's funny to, it's like radio for him

where he's like so old school. It's like when the, it's like a Johnny Cash family on the wood planks gathering around the radio and the fire. He does that in his room where he sits down and just jacks off to the, the sounds. Exactly. A bunch of people in the 30s huddled around a radio

like listening to the Jim Braddock fight. Like, come on Jim. Come on, we're a bunch of union boys and we really need this. Come on, that was people fucking his wife. With people fucking his wife. He's like, come on Jack, Jefferson, fuck this shit out of him.

He's fucking listening to his wife fucking the other room like Orson Welles doing a radio show. He goes, you know, my wife, she made Sugar Ray come. She made him come. She's getting fucked on like, he's like dragging off to the Papio Daniel hour for his wife getting fucked. I know it's like evil or whatever I've been told or something or it's like bad.

What, tucking? Well like, well I mean first, well, I mean, I don't know, I mean you don't want your, first of all, like people are like, there's no problem with it, it's like, well you don't want your daughter to grow up to be a porn star. And you don't want your son to grow up

to marry a porn star, like nobody wants that for their children. Don't fucking speak for me You want to raise a daughter to be in porn? Yeah, and if you want to have a son I'm if I ever have a kid which I won't because of this. I will have like literally like DVDs As a mobile swing around the crib. Yeah best of Alexis Texas ass eating volume seven. I teach him young. It'd be like giving my kid like pistol Pete Marovitch videos about how to dribble.

Yeah, you're an overzealous coach dad for your kid, fucking. It's your only passion. You wanna raise your son to be a porn star. You're driving down to the Mexican, that you're like, I wanna see 7,000 pussy licks. You're not coming out of that gym until you lick a pussy 7,000 times.

You make your son fuck a lot. Which is just, you're molesting him in this bed. In the bed, I'm molesting my child. If we're gonna be technical, that's what the bed is. But through somebody else. Through somebody else. Yeah, you send him to like porn camp when he's 18. Yeah, I mean we've known.

Like at boarding school. We've known I've had people literally be like, dude, how I lost my v-card. Dude, my dad drove me to Mexico and then I was nine and I fucked a lady who was 45 years old. Yeah, people say, oh yeah, that's a lot of guys where their dad is just, you know, some beer drinking piece of shit.

It's like you're 13 now. Taken you to the whorehouse. Yeah, if you don't get hard, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you beer drinking piece of shit. It's like, you're 13 now. Taking you to the whorehouse. Jesus. If you don't get hard, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you. Cause you're fucking gay. I got a bunch of women in my phone named Lollipop. They'll handle this.

So like some parents, like our parents didn't even give us a sex talk and then other parents are just like, they take you out on a pasture and you just like they gave them like a sex tour. We had no sex talk. There's other parents, there's dads out there that like take their kid to go get fucked at like 15. Yeah.

They like take their kid to Amsterdam and they're like, we're gonna do a whole weekend. Just fucking in second. And I'm not sure. And we never stopped thinking your dad's the coolest guy. Yeah, I'm not sure. It's kind of the greatest thing to do. Well, you would think your dad's the coolest guy

in the world and then one day you're 23 and a cold wind hits you. And you start crying and you don't know why. Yeah. And it won't stop. You're like, I was kind of my dad kind of rates me. My dad used a woman's pussy to rape my penis. Yeah. It is. It's like, you know, Little Wayne, I think Little Wayne had like a there was. Yeah, that story he told them that. Yeah. That interview. He's like, I was nine years old

and they go suck little Wayne, little dick. And he's telling it like it's cool, but everyone's like, yeah, and I'm like, you could see him dying inside. He's like, this is why I live off of coffee. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, he's like, yeah, it was the coolest moment of my life.

I have 17 seizures a day and I drink lean just to get through it. Yeah, I remember that every, he's like literally like at a trap house with like 12 people in his posse. And they're like, man, I lost my V-card. I was in the rap crew, I was nine years old. This lady come around, they're all like laughing.

And he's like, and they said, suck little Wayne fucking dick right now, bitch. Suck little Wayne, little dick. And you can see everybody's kind of laughing. And they go like, ha ha, ha. Oh man, it's so fucked. And then he doubles down and they realize they have to keep laughing.

You have to be like, it's awesome, that's great. But it's like, realistically, it's like, oh my God, you guys were raised by rapists. It was unbelievable. Who sucked his dick in this story? Just some lady. Some woman who was dead by the time he was 19. The woman in town that like, you know,

just is there for that. Like her, literally like God made her to just like fuck kids, basically. But like it's cool because they're in no, like God's in heaven. Like, OK, so this one, she's going to get molested by her dad and then fuck children until she dies at 19. God with a sharpie just writing whole number. Two thousand. Yeah. God's in heaven being like, well, what I want this one.

Well, I still hate women. So I'll make another whole. What are those women where God's making? And he's like, three holes, three holes, three holes, three holes, Miranda, three holes, three holes. Like, where he decides to name a few of them. I like to think the lady, oh, what were you saying? He's like, okay, she's gonna be born in a trailer park

and she's gonna have C cups at nine. So I think we know what's gonna happen. I think we've all seen this story before. Oh, did an older woman, did a 43-year-old woman suck off of a nine-year-old kid? He wasn't fucked by, they didn't bring in, like, other nine-year-old girl, fuck little Wayne. Like, no, then it somehow fucked up.

Like a beauty pageant, like kids. No, no, no, no. Where they it's some like a beauty pageant. No, no, no, no, they just watch two kids. No, they didn't like they didn't bring in John Benet Ramsey and like have her fuck him paying her a monopoly money, peeling off fake one hundred dollar bills. No, they bring in. They bring in the yeah, they bring in some big booty clapping psychopath. So he fucked a lady. A lady, yeah.

Damn. They were like, here's candy and here's her daughter cotton candy. You'll fuck cotton. What is wrong with women that they'll fuck a nine year old? Because they, here's the thing, I'll give it a little, it's, it's, because they know we'd wanna come. They know men love pussy

or gonna grow up to love it usually. So they think they're just doing, that's like the greatest moment of the kid's life. So it's like a canned food drive to them. It's just a helping hand. Yeah. They're just going from door to door fucking kids. I think, you know, there's a, yeah.

They think it's like, wow, that's, I'm like amazing. I'm like really giving this kid, like it's like a fantasy of every kid. Like I wish somebody would fuck me. I don't really have ill will toward that woman that did that. I know, but we got laws and everything. But when the gender is reversed, I actually think pedophiles,

like people that assault kids should actually be killed. That's, I'm actually for death penalty for people. Like when they're like watching things like that, killed. Killed, killed, killed, tort, killed, tortured them, killed them. We have too many people, are we, enough? What are we, going through a trial for this? I mean, a waste of everyone's resources. No, literally the kid has to go to the trial

and be like, yeah, he's sucked my dick 85 times. And the guy's just there like getting hard under the table. No, take the bolt gun from no country and put his, blow his head off. Yeah, turn his brain into cottage cheese. Those pedophile vigilante guys, they're so close. Yeah, because they're always cornering those guys who have have like CP and are trying to hook up with like a 12 year old kid.

They need to show up in those Walmart parking lots with like an MG 42 attached to a back of an F 350. And they need to let it fucking sing into their smart car. They need to light the fuck up till the bearer. They're always in smart cars. Pedophiles are always in smart cars. Because they like small things. No, because they're liberals.

They like small things. And they're liberals, that's right, Ben. There's their liberal cucks. You run the libs of TikTok account. You run the account that targets gay children to get killed. Look at this EV pedophile. Yep, that's the pedophile that runs off a shoulder power. Dude, there's like never a pedophile in like a lifted like no Cadillac escalator.

Pedophiles never show up in like a Dodge Challenger with like dice in the mirror. Right. Yeah, because they're busy raping their own daughters. They're like, I got McDonald's McDonald's at home. I don't know You need to go out yeah, no pedophiles usually show up in those videos and like like an Oscar Meyer hot dog car Yeah, the rat car from Uncle Buck Yeah, they're driving like Jay Leno's, the car that almost killed them, the wind up Jalopy.

Pedophiles, their wheels always go, oh yeah. Yeah. When my daughter starts dating guys, I'm always gonna check out the car first. Cause that's how you can really judge a man is by what he drives. You really can.

What's the worst case car for your future daughter's first boyfriend? If they have like money, like if their parents gave him like a BMW, if they have like a Civic, you know, like their parents like instilled, like you're not gonna get some crazy car, you're gonna get a college car, probably good people.

I'm Toyota Corolla. Toyota Corolla. Yeah. Yeah, but if it's like a new beam, or you're like, oh, my daughter's like not coming back tonight. Yes, yes, he's. I gotta shoot out the tires. He knows how to lock the doors really quickly, yeah.

Drug dealer car, any type of drug dealer car, because I'm actually already terrified of, let's say she's 16 one day and she just wants to try pot. And she's hanging out after school with her racist friends. And they're all like, you know, she's like, do's hanging out after school with her racist friends. And they're all like, cause you know, she's like, do you guys want to smoke pot? And they all go, did you hear the last episode of your dad's show?

I think that was really good. Let's all go get pot from black people. Because we're very racist. And she's like, you know, you're 16, someone hands you a joint or something and you smoke it. Sure. Now stuff is laced with fentanyl or whatever and like kids die. You scroll on TikTok all the time and you see someone's kid overdosed on fentanyl when they're 15.

And the problem is if you tell your daughter like, hey, this is dangerous, don't do it. It's going to make her want to do it more. Want to do it more. So what you have to do is you start, you have to start smoking her out at like eight years old. You have to. Yeah, you got to bring it in. You got to be in your daughter's room and be like playing like Marley records.

And be like, hit this man. Hit this shit, this wet. Is there weed? You gotta teach her to grow her own. Yeah. So she doesn't take shit from strangers. She's like, nah, that shit's mid. She's like, yeah, that not even got perp on it, shit.

Shit, shit. I'm a 12 year old girl from Tarzan and that ain't got perp. Perp. I'm a little white girl from Tarzan and I know that shit's bottom shelf. Dusty ass. Let me smell it. That shit, man. Let me feel it.

Dusty ass, motherfucker. Is there fentanyl in weed now? Yeah, apparently kids die from smoking pot that's laced with fentanyl. Why is that a thing? Who's putting fentanyl in weed? Why? Why?

Kate Quigley. Dude, I knew it. Yeah, she's like Johnny Appleseed for fentanyl. Just walking through black communities, throwing it out of a bag. I knew a kid in high school once who she didn't know, he just thought it would be fun if he dipped a cigarette and robo-tussed it and he let it dry and then he smoked it.

And I was like, what happened? He goes, oh, I just, the world was a pinwheel for eight hours. Like he just felt himself doing this and he wanted to throw up. Kids just do, they just pick up things off the ground and he eats them. To be fair, that kid was, he met his guidance counselor and they're like, we think you should be cannonball fodder

for Afghanistan. What do you think about that? We put you in a big mess when we shoot you at Brown people. That should be your job. And you can listen to a lot of Eminem. That's the type of guy that joins the army in the mall. Yeah. When he's going to Lids and he's like,

he sees a fork in the road, he's like, I could become a wigger or get killed in the Middle East. Yes. He's like, man, I really want that new Jordan jacket. I don't have the money. I'll join the army right here. I'll join right next to the shoe palace in the mall. You're like, but oh wait.

So if I join, I can buy the Jordans. So you telling me if I get killed, I get money. All right. All right. Okay right, okay. Okay, okay. Talking like Denzel Washington. All right, all right, all right. Well, you know, I guess it makes sense

because especially if you think the mall is the whole world. That is the world for most people. I work at like a baseball card shop that sells samurai swords. I work at GameStop. I work at the Chucky the Doll Store, like a Spencer's Gifts or something. I work at American Eagle, or I go into battle.

I think if the mall is the whole world in your city, there's no other, what else are you gonna do? Everyone that also joins the army willingly, they don't seem to have any understanding of foreign conflict going on They go like it's not like no one goes to war and then the minute they sign up Yeah, the Twin Towers are knocked down or something and their sense are even worse. They join in like 2016 and they're like well It's not like we're fighting a war some shit. Yeah, we were 15 years deep into a conflict the the biggest suckers to me We're 15 years deep into a conflict. The biggest suckers to me are the people

that are like, do 9-11 happen? And then like every day on TV, I just saw that American flag just waving. And I was like, God damn, I wanted to fin that flag. Yeah, the people who like- And they signed up. They quit their job and signed up the most. It's literally the same as seeing a Crunchwrap Supreme

commercial and going to Taco Bell. It's that retarded. They're like, yeah. They're like, why'd I join, brother? I saw Propaganda and I'm retarded. So it worked immediately. Why'd I join the army? Well, Camo was really in at that time.

Oh, I joined the army because I didn't realize the TV can tell me lies. It's so fun. Like the little Caesar's guy, the little Caesar's guy could tell you to sign up for the Marines and do it. Pizza, pizza, join! Isis, isis, isis, isis!

You stand up, you salute the little Caesar's guy. Hell yeah, brother. I'll be there for you. Love that Roman bastard. He goes, I'll ask. Opus day, bitch. It'll be two years,. Love that Roman bastard. Opus Dei, bitch. It'll be two years of your life. Oh, is he Italian?

I think, I mean, he's dressed like an Italian. But he has Caesar. He's got like a toga on it. Yeah, it's a Caesar. He's Roman, right? Yeah, which is Italian. Romans are Italian. But that's not real Italian.

No, Julius Caesar was going, hey, I got it, I got it, I got it. I get a step, I want to fuck a baby. Uchigoo, chig got it, I got it. I get a step, I want to fuck a baby. Ooh, chico chico. Ooh, chico, I'm Julius Caesar, I want to fuck a baby. I'm Julius Caesar, ooh. I give all that stuff, I'm like, that's Greek culture. That's not, that can't be Italian. Yeah, I've never understood the mixing of all that.

The Romans were stealing from the Greeks, I think. They were copying the Greeks. Cause the Greeks were already like washed you know yeah and they're like oh that those guys were cool as shit so we'll be those guys but we can't we make a delineation here between like like a James Gandolfini guy nope like an American Italian versus a Roman yeah Caesar here's why you can't because they they don't like us this they do not make the distinction they think they are emperors of Rome Do they really Italian guys? Yeah. Yeah, you see a return you see the fattest Italian man you've ever seen your life He goes we were Kings

Exactly lives a guy living in like low-dye. Yeah, it's like my great-grandfather was Julius Caesar you fucking mutt We were Roman soldiers that we killed the Jews Oh, we were told we've been told that this is the peak of civilization actually. This is the spring of civilization. So they're gonna cling to it because the peak of their life is making cannolis, that's it. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, wait, so it was like. He's just like a Christ, Brutus. I call out he is Shovey. He's just like a Christ. Iago, he's up to no good. Brutus I Gladius show me Iago he's up to no good You tell me about a fat a towel so we're gonna fucking whack Jesus Christ We're gonna fucking whack you here, but this Jesus Christ in his cousin a lot of problems for us in the answer Wait, I see is it Tom. They've been planning to murder you the whole time been planning to murder you the whole time. He just, yeah Dr. Malfi's like tone, beware the eyes of Maj.

And yeah, I'm not done. He did kill his kid. I, man, I hate that they're the one, like, it kind of bumps me out too, like, about, like, Jesus. So I'm like, you got killed by Italians basically? That's, that's, I've always thought that I'm like, so Jesus was literally killed by Goombas?, you got killed by Italians basically? That's what I've always thought, that I'm like, so Jesus was literally killed by Goombas? Like he was killed by Waps?

It makes me think he's retarded. Yeah, he's an idiot. Jesus sucked. No, he had Phil Riotardo and Atoga shove a pole stick up his ass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah, yeah, Jesus got caught sucking off a security guard at a construction site. He was, Jesus, something is happening. He was at the window. Jesus outside the fucking, the bathroom being like,

I got two tickets to the Yankees. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, The Christian inside me is like feeling really guilty about everything. That's fucking why I push that shit down That's Catholic. Why are you feeling guilt? Christians feel a lot of guilt too. Do they? I thought Catholics are the ones that are like I'm always guilty and shit The Catholics said they they want to co-opt guilt, but they're like we can do whatever the fuck Yeah, Catholics are so full of shit. They don't actually care. Yeah, they don't care at all They go for the cracker those fat fucks Those fat Irish Italian bastards what Italians like love Jesus though. They go for the cracker, those fat fucks. Those fat Irish Italian bastards. Well, Italians like love Jesus though.

They like kill them. Yeah. Black people love Jesus. And he's like white in every picture. I mean, it's like, it's unbelievable. He's the only thing keeping us from having a full blown race wars. Yeah. Thank God everyone's all doped up on religion.

Was it a race thing back then actually? And we're rewriting history. Like we're Italians just racist and they killed Jesus because he was a black guy and everyone thought he like kicked ass? Yeah, probably. They're like, look at that fucking rag head. Guy says he could turn water into wine.

It's a fucking line. Yeah. Hey, I got 5,000 pieces of fish right here for you, bud. Oh. Damn, I guess we'll never know. They didn't like him because he ran with a crew too. Yeah. Him and his posse.

Oh, right, he was in a gang. The Italians traded Jesus like Phil Jackson, like talks about black people, they're like, he runs with a posse. Damn. No, I mean, I don't know. I didn't always think that though. I was like, when they say Rome at like Pontius Pilgrim,

like so they were like Italians killed Jesus. Those guys were jacked though. They were like ripped and they were fucking beautiful. You see sculptures of those people like King David and stuff that they have. You wanna fuck them, they look so good. To be fair, we have their propaganda. It's like if you know,

2000 years in the future you're watching Predator and you're like, dude, Americans fucking kicked ass. It's like, no, we look like, we look like gumballs. They looked like, like like pussy bump and Sarah. I don't think the sculptures were to make them look like they were awesome. I doubt they were true. It's propaganda.

Like they were working out. You know, you know what's funny about like, cause it is all propaganda. All the paintings though of the women back then, they're all still like, they're fattish it and they have no tits and no ass. That is the thing is like, I get the Rubin S women I'm attracted to thicker women. Give them like a fucking f-cup in the painting. I would love if Michael Angel was

just giving a woman like f-cups like hanging down. Yeah. You know they've been drawing like pregnant like Sonic with like Shrek's baby and stuff. They're like leaking out of her nipples. They had supposedly this was the peak of civilization. This guy had, these guys had no imagination. They drew women that like, I mean, no tits. You could do whatever you want and they still had the, no tits but give her a gun. Yeah, give her a gun.

They looked like, they looked like Burke Reiser. Who by the way, I saw at the comedy store in the belly room a week ago, 40 people in the crowd. He went up first and he took his shirt off. Yeah, it was sad. It was very sad. I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I was sitting in the corner like Travis Bickle. Yeah, you sent us pictures like you were you were a detective like catching a cheating wife. It was like a PI. I couldn't because they were like, oh, you're Bert dropped in. He's going to do a set. I was like, okay. And I was just with PI I couldn't because they were like a Bert dropped in he's gonna do a set

I was like, okay, and I was just with my friend and Connor and then sat down and then they announced his name By the way to tepid people were like well who what yeah, no one really cared was kind of shocking And then I look up and he had his shirt off already. Yeah, and I was like, wait, this is mind-blowing Just imagining him in the wing waiting to go on, like jumping like back and forth. And they say, Bert, and then he rips the shirt off and walks out like he's fucking LeBron with the chop. Cause I didn't know he does that for every single set.

Like I thought he was just gonna be working out whatever that means. But he takes off the bowling hat and then he takes his shirt off and then puts the bowling hat back on. He does. He takes those. You're fucking right. It's two steps two steps dude he's I've seen him take the shirt off he looks like quick draw McGraw take the shirt off he looks like Jim Abbott

pitching with one arm he's got a whole system down yeah anyway I did besides I was just part of the success is like growing up our dad never wore a shirt and you just mowed along with a shirt. And he would just mow the lawn with his shirt off, walk around the house with his shirt off, you know, sit in the garage with his shirt off. It's like an owning it thing. Like you own your shitty body. Well, I think it reminds everybody

of their dad growing up too. He's like a paternal figure for people, you know? He's like your dad growing up, he's shirtless, retarded, disappointing. You don't want to hear him speak ever. Yeah, you know, yeah Just like pop. Yeah, just like dad. Just like dad. Yeah. Yeah, you're right It is something just a just a big half-naked narcissist. Yeah, it just reminds me of my dad Dad, you know just drinking Heineken's or rolling rock out by the pool with his shirt off

Just my dad who got his foot stuck in those train tracks 20 years ago. Doesn't he remind you of dad? Doesn't he remind you of dad who got struck by two trains at the same time. And claims to this day he was not trying to kill himself. Dude, a guy who's standing on train tracks and two trains are colliding with each other. Yeah, he's trying to.

He stands in the exact middle. Trying to kill himself. He runs to the exact moment. Tried to kill himself. He runs to the switch and like flips it and then runs back over. Times gets the time schedules. Really make sure he does it right. Calculates where they're going to meet. Yeah, he's been struck by lightning multiple times, but never developed a skill from it.

I think Bert said he's known like three people that have been struck by lightning. And I think there's like been maybe five people on earth that have been like, the numbers make no sense. Oh yeah. Like it would be impossible to know that many people struck by lightning. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I saw that too. He's a notorious liar. So a lot of people hate that guy. Bert? Yeah, people like make sketches where they like. I was really, I was, I went to see him. I was really into it. You had a front row seat.

It was like, I was starstruck. Did you tell the machine story? No, but he told some other hunk of shit story that I tuned out. Yeah, that his daughter had the only punchline. Yeah, I literally couldn't remember. He has to like, like tell us funny stories. Dog, it witnessed. And then everyone else on the show kept going up and be like,

y'all saw Burke Reicher tonight, y'all? Yo, like, who cares about the show? Burke Reicher was here and everyone's like, huh? Yeah. Y'all saw a bunch of shit in the toilet tonight. Y'all think you can't do that anywhere but La La Land? Shit. Anyway anyway I'm gonna go do cocaine with Kate Quigley in the back

Kate Quigley outside snapping black man's necks I'm gonna go play nose Russian roulette with Kate Quigley. Yo give it up for that smelly turd in the toilet y'all just saw give it up one more smelly turd in the toilet y'all just saw. Give it up one more time. It smelled like shit. There was corn in it. It was soft. It was sticking to the bowl like a leech. You tried to flush that shit. It wouldn't go down the first time. It would flush two, three times. Y'all saw a beer shit tonight. A runny ass basket of shrimp shit.

Y'all saw a motherfucking beer shit tonight. You know how, you know like Cosby at the end, like he's so old he has to sit down like in a chair to do his two hours of stand up. Bert's gonna do that at the end of his career, but he's, they're gonna put a toilet on stage. He's just doing this, the whole show taking a shit and just sweating.

He's like, ah, fuck shit. His last surviving fans are there in iron lungs. There's their bones collapse from being too fragile. It's just like they're like, they're like, Jerry Shiva, soft shell crap. People. They're in, yeah, they're in iron lungs that their wives had painted to look like course, light cans. They're just they're ripping their fingers had painted to look like Kors Lightcans. They're just, they're ripping their fingers off and dipping them into Iole.

Dude, an iron lung that looks like a Kors Lightcans is so funny. Yeah, yeah. He's just looking down the crown, just seeing a bunch of mirrors above people's heads so they could see him on stage. Yeah, he walks out in his iron lung and he takes off the iron lung

instead of taking off the shirt. Clapping together like seals. The video that Burt Kreischer Cruz, everyone, everyone has a scar across their body somewhere. That cruise makes me want to fucking get an old pirate ship they have on display. And a pull up beside it and let the cannon start flying. These imagine some Oli pirates pulling up

to the side of the bird, the fucking Bert cruise. Yeah, just yeah, on on the deck, just like, listen, I'm the fat ass now. Yeah, Bert cruises make me they make me care about global warming for the first time, because I'm like, listen, I'm the fat ass now. Yeah, Bert Cruises make me care about global warming for the first time because I'm like, there's no more icebergs? What? They're still there. They're still there.

Come on, Iceberg! Come on, Iceberg! Vegas, the rooting on. Right, yeah, the ships, it hits an iceberg, it's going down and the Cusco is like, oh, it gives it shit. They don't know. But they're so full of nachos and gas

that just float on the surface for years. They would pull out flavored syrup and pour it on the ice but they'd make, we had snow cones. Just fucking dudes floating on like Margaritaville, Margarita machines. There are guys standing on. They're on a door, but they drown cause they eat the door.

Dude, imagine if you go, if you go down on a Burt Kreischer cruise, and the only thing you can find is a Burt Kreischer cutout like float on. I would drown. I would drown. I would let go of it. I let go of it and sink to the bottom.

And I go, let crabs eat my fucked up, gnarled freak body. Did you hang out with him though? It was he was he. No, I walked into the green room and then I saw him. He was just looking at his phone and then I was like, oh, boy. Oh, I'm not that he I'm there's no way he knows who I am. But I was just like, I talk about killing you all the time. I made a sketch where you're kind of a big punchline

and my friend kills everybody in the sketch. Yeah, no, it was weird. He didn't look up from his phone though. He was, I guess, reading a menu or something. He's a fun guy. I love Bert. He seems fun, whatever. It was fine.

He's a great person. He had a couple of his boys there, whatever, that, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I assume Osama Bin Laden's a great hang too. I don't care. He was like rolling with a couple guys that were beanies plopped on their head.

Like they're like, I can't even pull this shit down. Like I just keep that shit on top. Only like the little bitty part of the top of my hip. Yeah, like it's just a little cold. Just the top of my skull been pushed, like it's just a little cold. But shit. Just the top of my skull been pushed in, so it's a little cold. Man, my daddy's a pair of joggers and my mom's a graphic tee.

My name's swag. Yeah, my name's swag. My name's swag Johnson. I shoot the worst videos of all time. And they were like, after, cause he went up like first, they were like going up and they just kept being like, man, mother fucker, Bert was here. Ah!

They're like, that's the motherfucker from Sesame Street, y'all, Bert. That's so funny. I couldn't even really hate it. I was just like, yeah, this is exactly. I went, I accompanied my- I've seen those crowds, by the way, in the belly room. They were 45 people.

You might as well be performing for an aquarium of fish. They're all just staring. Yes, yes. They have no idea what's going on. They're all in a k-hole. But Bert is from Switzerland. They're all tourists. Yeah.

But Bert is such a narcissist if he doesn't have attention every five hours His heart will stop beating. Yeah, I told you you said the pictures I was like if Bert doesn't like have people look at him for two days in a row you'd walk into the room and there'd be jelly and bones He'd like dissolve Yeah, it was fascinating I never I didn't yeah, I didn't have to speak to her Yeah, I just I saw him in the green room. He was looking at his phone.

He wouldn't look up and then I just sat in the corner of the room and watched. What was he? What was he looking at on his phone? Like I imagine he was a door dashing or something. Or he's ordering AMFs on postmates. He's ordering hats on postmates. Ordering gay cowboy hats. Yeah. Yeah. Buck him. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh man. Yeah. Well, I think we're at the end of the show here. Yeah, yeah.

I think. It's about that time. Yeah, I mean this feels like a good time to wrap up, right? Yeah, yeah, no. I think we've been doing about an hour. We've done a good, some good. Does it not tell you on the thing? Some good work, everything.

It does, but I forgot when I pushed record and when we started. So I don't know what we're at exactly. No, we've done an hour, yeah, because we started at like 7.30 or whatever. So. It's been a good week for common Are every apparently everybody everybody in comedy's best friend did SNL. That's right. Yeah last night last night Everyone's best friend killed on I woke up today. There were so many pictures of Shane. I was like did he die?

Like it was like people doing like memorial posts people that are being like Shane did as you know that that's why we up And it's like you live in a in a craps table in Jersey City. What are you talking about? There's a bunch of guys like I met I saw Shane out front of the grizzly pair in 2013 he ordered an Uber I knew he was a star Yeah, that was great though That was a really people I see people posting pictures of like Shane's in the picture. And then they're like way in the back. Yeah, they're like five people back.

Somebody had 300 people. Somebody had to it was like Shane's face to like a comedy festival. And then a big circle of them zoomed in. Yeah, in the very bad. They're in a window in prison in the far in the distance. They're posting like the Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

They're all bad comedians in Shane and you're like, oh, they're way, yeah, they're way back there behind a patch of flowers. It looks like a fucking, like the grassy knoll. Like you're like, oh, there might be a shooter back there. My favorite part was, cause we watched it and Shade did very well, I thought. Yeah, very endearing and it was great. The model was great, because we watched it and Shade did very well, I thought. Especially the monologue. Very endearing and it was great.

The monologue was great, but my favorite people on Twitter were being like, this bass player woman didn't fucking laugh. She's a fucking cunt, bitch. I hope she gets raped to death in Bushwick. Look at this stupid bitch. Epic win for comedy. Let's rape! Let's rape!

They're like, I didn't even really watch the monologue. I just stare at women because I hate them to get mad at and take pictures of them post. I saw an interview with that lady who sits in the background of the SNL monologue. Yeah, the band lady. She apparently sees the monologue like three times before it finally happened.

Yeah, they never left. She's seen it three times in like 12 hours. She's not gonna fake laugh at all the punchline she knows is coming. I mean, the people who are also like, who are like, dude, Shane said fucking retard, and that means we can kill faggots now. It's like, you've missed every point

about what is comedy is good. Didn't even understand the nuance of the joke. They're like, we up, we up. I live in a soda machine, we up. What are you talking about? They don't understand the mastery behind being able to pull that off in a place that is kind of like the lion's den.

Like Shane is going into a place he probably doesn't feel welcome and he's nervous and he's doing SNL and he's still doing those bits. And one of my favorite parts of any SNL monologue was Shane, and he knows this isn't gonna kill. He shows his dad. It goes, isn't it funny that he's an assistant? And he's like, that's funny, right?

He goes, I thought that'd be funny. That was make fun of my dad for coaching women's basketball. That's so funny that he did that to his dad. That's so fucking funny. The best is at the very end, no one noticed. He goes, he goes, hey, he should have had so, so at the end. So this is the thing retards do also, cause Shane got as many laughs in that monologue

as anybody who does a great monologue on SNL. He just called attention to certain things that didn't work in that room. Even though we were laughing at home, but if you call attention to something like that, retards go, I'm not letting you get away with that. And then they start saying you bomb. Guess he bombed, cause he said he bombed as a joke.

Unfunny losers, if you make fun of yourself in front of them, they try to use that as ammo against you and they take it very, they take it like, and like very, it's like earnest with them where they start making fun of you. Like dude, I'm just like, chill out. They watch Dumb and Dumber and they go, Jim Carrey's stupid.

Wack, whack. I didn't know Jim Carrey's so dumb. Dude, he's fucking wise. Like they don't even understand it's on purpose. Yeah, they haven't. Yeah. So you get any Barstil retard posting like, dude huge win, huge win for the R word today on SNL.

Like you're a fan of the R word. If you watch Shane on SNL, you weren't just happy for him and enjoyed it. And you turned it into a culture war thingy. In either direction, you should take a cold blade and run it down your forearm because your brain is fucking goat cheese. You've completely lost the plot.

Other than just like, this is very cool that this guy was able to do this. But if you turn it into like fucking he's racist are like, it's a big win for the coach. You're like, you're mentally retarded. The amount of people that think he was supposed to come out there and like be like, this show fucking sucks. And like talk about him getting fired.

It's like, he's a good person that likes comedy. People wanted to try. The chin should have doubled down and gone out there and hit, crime, bow and yay. Yeah. Like what? The fuck? You should have put like Lauren in a chokehold and like,

why would he do that? Also being bitter isn't funny. No. Being bitter is actually never funny. Being angry is funny. Except when we do it. Except when we do it all the time. And then it's't funny. Being bitter is actually never funny. Being angry is funny. Except when we do it. Except when we do it all the time. And then it's very funny.

When someone is bitter though, it just comes off like they're a little bitch. So that's why you can never be bitter about anything even if you are completely totally in the right. I've seen people on Twitter do it before where they are justified in their bitterness and they're tweeting a bunch of stuff and everyone goes Dude, you're you're fucking gay and like no one feels bad for that guy and they start siding with the dude Who's actually the piece of shit? Yeah, that they're bitter against. Yeah, I've seen it It doesn't I've seen a few retards online today that like we're they're obviously huge Shane fans

But they're like a little like no disappointed I kind of thought he'd throw a Molotov cocktail into the crowd and show his swastika tattoo on his chest and curb stomp bowing. No, that's also like Shane never once let that side win. Yeah. He never once let them win. I don't think I've ever seen anyone toe the line like he is like in such a perfect way.

Yeah. And also be like incredibly endearing and just like a good guy. Benevolent. Yeah, I don't know. It's it's great to his Yeah, it's great. It's good that a guy like that is like getting Everything he's getting. Yeah, it's really cool. Yeah, it's really we were all like little kids watching this and I'll think it was great I literally like we pregame like Connor went up We bought Bud Light like it was cool. It was like a little like it was was a, I think, uh, Michael Rainey had a great, he goes,

this is like the retard Super Bowl. Yeah. I really just like the first sketch, the opening sketch was very good, but other than that, you know, it was pretty bad. What's the monologue? The cold open. The cold open was great.

As long as the, yeah, the cold open was tremendous. Yeah. Wow. Appropriately named open. Yeah. Yep. But yeah, no, it was,ropriately named open. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. But yeah, it was it was it was it was fun. I we have I don't think we've I don't think I've ever gotten together to watch a comedy thing like that in my life with all my friends. Yeah, it brought us all together. Yeah, it was cool.

It was cool. Yeah, it was great. It was great for him. And then if you're being weird about it online, you fucking suck. Stop being all weird. Stop being insane. Dude, people, Dev is right though. I look like Shane died the next morning. Today I woke up and there were people were posting

on Instagram like there wasn't even like a caption. It was just pictures of him like from the old days. And I'm like, was he assassinated? Like what is going on? People were posting pictures of like them with like Gardini from 2017. Yeah. And I was like, let it go.

Let it fucking go. Jesus Christ. Being like, dude, we all made it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's literally like when I like a basketball player gets drafted and the guys go like, oh, the whole we out. We out of the ghetto. And then he like block.

Block. Yeah. They're like, oh, his his text green for some reason. Yeah, there was a lot of very bad comics, you know. I didn't really see any of that. I mean, I saw it out because I type in people's user names and go to get pissed off. But I've actually muted any single person who posts standup comedy.

I've muted every, I've muted like 700 people that I follow. Some of these people I like, but I don't want to see your dates and posters and promos that you're going to be in Timonium, Maryland and all these places. I don't give a shit about. It's mute, mute, mute. I've muted every single, and they're nice people. Some of them, they're not, but I've muted every single, so I don't know, you guys updated me on all this.

Yeah, I don't know. I've me on all this. Yeah, I didn't know yet today I've never seen someone's name used more in comedy than his today and yesterday the hold that couldn't imagine the pressure like all day It was it was like literally wait like but like people like being like a patch from the homes Like this is like a legacy change for him like if he doesn't win It was crazy. Yeah People just try to find like the 40 chest hot take on what's happening. Can't just enjoy something.

And then all the tweets where it's like, yo, wow, thanks for enlightening us. Like, this is the first time I've tuned in for SNL. Cause it sucks and let's see how, oh, does it? Did we not know that? Thanks. Yeah, the show sucks. It's a bad show. Everybody knows it sucks.

There's also talented people on it. At the end of the day. Sometimes the sketches are good occasionally. At the end of the day, sometimes the sketches are good occasionally. At the end of the day, Mikey Day is fucking amazing. And that's why I tune in. So this is the thing me and Devan have been doing for so long.

Well, we pretend we're a huge Mikey Day. I know, yeah. He was doing it the whole night while we were watching. He's a master of his craft and I'm a day head. We're day gaming. We do day game. We do day game. It's day time.

Jason, are you a, do you day trade? I day trade a little bit. Now you guys were literally like, he would walk into his sketch. You'd be like, daytime! Daytime! Daytime, motherfucker! Let's be honest, Shane was good in some of the sketches.

But standing next to Mikey Day. It's hard, it's tough. When he's standing next to Mikey Day, it's just gonna say. Are you gonna compare Basquey out to Michelangelo? I gotta say, Heidi Gardner made him look small. You know, every time I see Mikey Day, I go, is it cake? Is it cake, Mikey? I thought that was Bobby Moynihan.

No, no, no, sadly it's Mikey Day. It's Mikey Day. What's Bobby Moynihan up to? Bobby Moynihan's shooting heroin in an alley somewhere I don't know Bobby Moynihan eats the cake on the show So like he day hosts and then Bobby He hosts another show called it was cake It airs after they film it after Mikey's show.

Yeah. No, Mikey, I mean, that show is like something they filmed to like show in Gestapo's, like when they're killing Jewish people. That show is so bad. It's so fun to sit down and watch SNL every week and then turn over to your friend and be like, damn, Mikey Day's still got it.

Dude, that's my new thing. Mikey Day is still got it, my friend. That's my new thing. I think I'm gonna follow his career for the rest of my life and by the way, he's not bad He's not bad. It's just he's just funny. He's just like it's just he's just exist Like I don't really know I just like a team player I know you know, I know what it is is that he I could tell he quietly has the self-confidence of like Connor McGregor Like I know he walks into his dressing room. he goes, fucking did it again, Mike. Yep.

Fucking nailed it again, Mikey. Yeah, it's funny because he's talented, but it is just like you are like Luke Walton, you know. You're a four sister night player. Yeah. Yeah. You're Alex Caruso, but you think you're Michael Jordan. Just, you've never met someone who's like,

I fucking, I can't get enough Mikey that's the thing that's the way the joke so funny man like is there a single person out there that like is like obsessed with Mikey day yeah if you went up to my kid his parents you like dude I love him on the show and they're like really like I mean it's cool he's on the show and like he does technically deserve it but really really yeah weird he's a workhorse yeah anyway no shade the Mikey day no shade or Bert no I love Bert now we love in case we meet any of these people we love them all or yeah or no shade to anybody we've ever

said no it's all jokes it's all in jazz except Tony Hinchcliffe no it's all jokes it's all jokes even that was a baby come on that was a bit. Come on. That was a bit. Love them all. We love everybody. Not Hans Kim. No. I've never publicly said every comic, but Shane Gillis should be shot in the head that somebody reminded me of today. People were quoting me.

People were quoting me. I go, oh boy. Don't remember that. Oh fuck. We kept laughing at the idea of like Tommy Pope bursting through the weekend update wall like the Kool-Aid man like drunk as shit. It would be like so I kept imagining Tommy walking out and pissing himself like a star is born like on stage like asking Shane for a zen.

Right. Yeah. Hitting Marcelo with a break he found. Yeah. Tommy and Chris are carving the Swastikas back into the steel beams at 30 Rock. Patreon.com slash Living Party for an extra episode every week. We do have a live episode with Shane on there from Austin. Do you want to check that out?

Shane comes on stage in the last 15 minutes. How far Shane's come? Just two weeks ago, he was a nobody doing the lemon party live show You know buddy Wayne diapers on so proud of not to see him on SNL. Yeah, and you know what Shane you're welcome And Live streams every two weeks on the lemon party clips channel So subscribe to that and sometimes I'll go live too but it me Jason Devvin do it together every two

weeks and then we're gonna have East Coast dates soon for the live yeah we're trying to book those now yeah which by the way we don't do the same Lemon Party live show every time we're always improvising and coming up with new stuff I'm not gonna like make people wait like you saw the Houston show which we put on patreon it's different from the Austin show like we're doing different stuff every time. But I might bring back some gags. There's always new retards to have a story.

But also I'm not gonna like every show make people piss the diapers. That might should be one off probably. I think I'll never do that again. Let's never do that. That was unsanitary and disgusting. It also really bummed me out that some of the fans didn't know how diapers worked and they put them

on over their pants and then pissed themselves. It's too dark. It's too dark. I could barely out P but I don't know how they worked and they put them on over their pants and then pissed themselves. It's too dark. It's too dark. I could barely outpeat. You might, it was grim. It was grim. You might as well pulled out a bag of heroin and been like, all right, who's gonna shoot up?

Whoever shoots the most heroin during the show wins under bucks. And then... I think that's it. Is that it? That's it. We have nothing else to promote. Why would we? The live show in LA.

Oh, listen, subscribe to Lemon Party Podcast. Yeah. Subscribe to the podcast you're listening to. You're promoting your own thing. Fuck, I can't, I feel like we're forgetting something. Live show in LA, March 23rd. Oh yeah, that's what I was gonna do. Yeah, March 23rd, we're doing a live Lemon Party LA.

It's on the Patreon, you can see where it is. Tickets at the door, so get there early. We'll probably only be able to fit like 150 people in. So if you wanna get there, get there early. All right, Devon at Hey Watch Pod, Jason at Sad Drawings by Jason, see you guys next week. Bye. Bye.

["Side Story of the Moon"] I'm sorry. down a Vell Passel. I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Night time would find me in loses cantina. Music would play and fullida would whirl. Blacker than night were the eyes of fullida. Wicked and evil while casting a spell. I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the west Texas