lemonparty - 071: All the Pretty Horsies

Starting point is 00:00:00 That's where we say it. I know that like me always in my face talking with the name girl I had to bust a piece of it. That's where we say it. Is this some ASMR of somebody just riding a horse? It feels like sleepy hollow. I feel like he's about to chop someone's head off. You know, I've never seen horse riding POV and I gotta say it looks pretty retarded.

Starting point is 00:00:40 Yeah, it's kind of making me sick if you look at it too long. It looks perverse. Like they want to fuck this damn horse. It also looks like the horse stinks. It's like fucking speed up. This horse sucks. I love horses so much. They are majestic.

Starting point is 00:00:56 You know how I loved Western so much as a kid? I wanted to ride a horse like in the desert. Like you can't do that in GALA. So like my parents were like, hey, you're gonna ride horses. And I had to show up and I had to put on like the helmet and the question boots, like a fucking. Oh, you went out to like spawn ranch or something.

Starting point is 00:01:11 And we went out, it was like by like the shitty LA river. Jesus. And I had to like be one of those. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, they fucking. I broke down over there once for four hours. Waiting on, waiting on the service to pick me up. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:22 Yeah, we're all horses. People kept riding by on horses and I'm sitting next to my car, it's steaming. And they're just like cluck cluck cluck. Walking down the LA River? Yeah, I didn't know if I was in a Twilight Zone episode because people on horses just kept going past and I'm sitting here like, wrong or bad with a broken down car.

Starting point is 00:01:37 You get back to LA and it's 1855 and you're like, you immediately buy a Chinese guy. You're like, this rules. I'm like, okay, so what's racist here? They go, well, everything on the podcast is just all right with us. You're actually a cuckold here. And we'll be hanging you at NIN.

Starting point is 00:01:55 You start podcasting with a wooden microphone, you carve and they go, sounds like a lip kick to me. He just said slavery's kind of fudged yet. Fudged. So we go. They call me a peace-loving hippie. Yeah, we're gonna crucify him on top of black people. Rod Serling just like, Ben's a gay cuck.

Starting point is 00:02:18 Imagine that. Oh, but it was so embarrassing. Like I wanted to be a cowboy and they dressed me up. You're riding horses. Like you dress up like you fence and they put a gay helmet on you and you have to like jump over things and stuff. I'm like, I don't know. I wanted to like wear a cowboy hat

Starting point is 00:02:31 and like shoot a Mexican guy. I wanted to do like, hey, I want to have like a duel. They're like, well, the best we can do is dress you like a rich 14 year old. Yeah, it was very gay. And then the horse bit me in the face. I had to go to the ER. Jesus.

Starting point is 00:02:44 Yeah, I had a huge chunk of my cheek taken out. Good work. By some cocksucker named Popcorn. Did you I could see you as a kid demanding that horse be put down. As a 10 year old, big like that cocksucker goes in a grave to me. It's it's insane when you hear these tales about like, you know, a guy got kicked by a donkey in like 1930 and his head came off or like a horse bit a three year old and a half, like a bread stick.

Starting point is 00:03:13 And then every day on the news you see someone is going to prison for having sex with a horse or a donkey or something like that. I don't know how they do it. It's crazy, man. I don't know how they do it either. You just, man. I don't know how they do it either. You just kind of, I guess you just kind of show up and you just hope the horse is like into it.

Starting point is 00:03:29 What, I mean, would you fuck a woman who's swinging maces, like fiery maces? It's like this. It's, you have to like, you know what it is? It's bestiality Russian roulette. Mm-hmm. You're like, yeah. It could kick me in the head and kill me or it takes it.

Starting point is 00:03:42 We have a grill, oh my God. This is like hotter than gay sex in the 80s. I've seen videos. That's like bug chasing, but you could die quicker. I think they respond to gay sex because it's violent. They're so violent.

Starting point is 00:03:59 I've seen, did you see the video of that Irish guy having sex with him? We discussed it. Let me cut it off for you right there. No, I haven't. See whatever videos you're watching. So he immediately, he's like, it's funny because he's filming himself with a video camera

Starting point is 00:04:10 and he like, I think if I remember the video right, he's like looking around. What is he doing? He's just being. He's gonna fuck the horse. Oh, okay. But he's Irish. Yeah, he's an Irish guy.

Starting point is 00:04:19 Is he literally going like? It's in Ireland. And he's going like, I'm gonna fuck this dumb horse over here. Like he's that Irish? Yeah, he's like an, I'm going to fuck this dumb horse over here. Like he's that Irish. Yeah, he's like an Irish guy in Ireland. So guy looking like Conan O'Brien pulling his tiny, tiny Irish cock out. And it's gigantic Irish balls. And he does he does like an over the shoulder looking boat,

Starting point is 00:04:39 which I guess is like being kind of coy. Well, it's a move that everybody has to do before they fucking animal, I guess, is like, you don't want to be like, he's standing right behind me, isn't it? Sir, you're out of merry-go-round. It's not a real horse. There's kids here. As soon as he whips his cock out, the horse,

Starting point is 00:05:13 no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got it totally backward. The horse was fucking the Irish guy. Yeah, because that's what I'm saying. Like, they understand violence horses do, so like, they have to be homosexual. They will fuck women on occasion, but from the videos I've seen, it's usually a guy and he, this Irish guy, as soon as he takes his pants down and bends over, the horse gets up on top of him.

Starting point is 00:05:33 Like they've done it many times. Oh, he gets fuckingly asked by the horse? Yeah. Horses are like that? They're like kind of human like this? That's what I'm saying, man. That's how Mr. Hans in Seattle, he died because the horse cock was so big, it literally ripped his organs. Yeah, that was a famous one, right? Yeah

Starting point is 00:05:49 Yeah, when I was a kid we used to watch all those Love we'd be steality. We I think we all watched be steality before we watched women get fucked mr. Hands He got fucked you know when you're taking you got a spoon and you're taking the fruit out of the cantaloupe Yeah, or like a watermelon Like his cock did that to the horse. That's the guy in Seattle who got fucked today Why is his name mr. Hands because he was fucking horses. I gotta call him something weird I'm waiting for mr. Pants to get fucked to death The big the pants comedian the big pit he's on America's Got Talent and he's bombing and then a horse comes out and fucks The big pit, he's on America's Got Talent and he's bombing and then a horse comes out

Starting point is 00:06:24 and fucks him to death. The horse unbuckles the big belt above his stupid fucking head. The horse is like, heck, heck. I'm not gay, I just, I'm gonna fuck you to death because you suck. Dude, I'd watch it if Simon Cowell rode in on a horse. What's his name, Simon Cowell?

Starting point is 00:06:44 Cowell, yeah. If he rode in on a horse. What's his name, Simon Cowell? Cowell, yeah. If he wrote in on a horse and it mounted Mr. Pants and he mouth fucked them so hard that he ripped his teeth and his gum out of his jaw. Here's what I'm wanting is I want Howie Mandel to come out on the horse. He turns the horse around and kicks Mr. Pants in the head, just kicks the top of his skull cap off, unfolds it. He's still kind of

Starting point is 00:07:07 conscious, but he's like retarded. And then you skull fuck him to death with the horse. Yeah, I'd like to see that too. Yeah. America's Got Talent should have a patron where they do stuff like that where they're like, if you want to get CS, kill these people, head on over to the patron, we torture them to death and kill them all. America's Got Talent should be like the Roman gladiators, where if you get three X's, there's a big pit that opens up and horses rapes to death.

Starting point is 00:07:33 Yep. And there's cameras inside there. That's the, that's the premium fee. They put a camera on your ass to get like a good view of the horse raping you, like a little GoPro directly above your asshole. Yeah. Like a biopsy kind of, yeah. But why do we talk about some, oh yeah, because the horse bit you probably because it's like a fucking pedophile.

Starting point is 00:07:53 And it was like, you know, they chopped it at the bit the fuck you. The horse freak that ran the, you know, the brothel for the horses said that it was, because I was at eye level with it, I thought I was food, because I was so short, I was a kid. So the horse is retarded.

Starting point is 00:08:08 Yeah, it was the horse. The horse thought you were food. Dumb fucking horse. Yeah, pause. One second. All right, time out real quick, time out. Isn't everybody eye level with a horse? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:08:20 No, it was like I was shorter or something and my head was like where its mouth was or something like that. I don't fucking know. The guy was a freak. He probably fucked it later. I think they all fucked the horses and get fucked by them.

Starting point is 00:08:30 Yeah, they don't. Why else would you wanna work with horses? All these women that don't know what to do, that grow up and their parents are senators or lobbyists or whatever and they go, they own a horse event. They kinda wanna fuck it. I think that's why horse girls are horse girls.

Starting point is 00:08:44 Because they all seem to have, they look like they have a horse event, they kinda wanna fuck it. I think that's why horse girls are horse girls. Cause they all seem to have, they look like they have a cavernous pussy and they want a horse to fill it up for the first time. I've never figured out why horse women always have the long silver hair. I don't know what, cause it's always like dogs kinda look like their owner a little bit and reflect the personality.

Starting point is 00:09:03 And it seems that women who ride horses want long flowing mains, but they always choose. It's for white women that are too racist to fuck a black guy. There we go. I was searching for it. I was like, why is this? Done.

Starting point is 00:09:19 End it. They're like, no DeSean, but I will fuck Shadow. Beautiful. They see a picture of Adrian Peterson. They're like, no DeSean, but I will fuck shadow. That beautiful, yeah. They see a picture of Adrian Peterson, they go, huh. Huh. Jango. Your boy. Your Jango.

Starting point is 00:09:34 They put, yeah, put a little fitted cap on a horse and then fuck it. Think the horse wear Jordans. Big necklace on the horse. Oh, the horse wearing four matching Jordans. That's right. Which means they had to buy two four matching Jordans. That's right. Which means they had to buy two pairs of Jordans. That's right.

Starting point is 00:09:49 That's right. Have you ever seen a giant horse penis in real life? Yes, absolutely. They're insane. I remember. Yeah, I saw it. I was driving past a donkey field one time and I saw a donkey.

Starting point is 00:10:01 I pulled over because it was so insane. Yeah. It's like a shooting star. It's crazy. It was dude. It's penis was hitting. It was like going against like rocks and shit. It's truly like an, it actually looks like a pipe. Like it looks like a giant pipe.

Starting point is 00:10:15 It's there and yeah, it's nuts. Yeah. I was getting so pissed off that the donkey did that to me. Did they piss me off? Yeah. I went to pull out a gun out of my Toyota Corolla and test skull attacks and just blow the donkey's head off for making me feel like a bitch.

Starting point is 00:10:31 It's bullshit because they don't need that. First of all, donkeys are retarded. They don't know how to use it even. No, donkeys are very smart. Don't you say that. Oh, donkeys are actually smart. Donkeys are incredibly intelligent. But they look like retards.

Starting point is 00:10:41 They look like idiots. They're stupid. They're stupid. Like teeth and shit. But they're like Oppenheimer. Yeah, idiots. They're stupid. They're stupid like teeth, but they're like Oppenheimer Yeah, no, they're brilliant. They look like Walter Brennan. They look like like if you talked if a donkey could talk Putting pots and pans on my back. I love doing pots and pans. And the horses get to do all the sexy stuff.

Starting point is 00:11:15 The horses are like, I fucking, we're making escapes. We're doing wagon trains and all that. Yeah, yeah. Donkeys are kinda like IT horses or like sales guys. Yeah. Yeah. In the videos, they never like suck the horse off. Donkeys are kind of like IT horses or like sales guys. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Yeah In the videos they never like suck the horse off

Starting point is 00:11:32 They never like finger the horses pussy. They never eat it out That would be horse never sucks anybody off either by the way. Yeah, they just They just want to be the top with spreading oats around your penis. So the horse sucks you off Well, yeah, I was reading like fan fiction today where, I was reading erotic fan fiction today, this one called Ron's, so Ron Weasley's Hermione's brother, right? But Harry's in love with Hermione. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no get married? They get married at the end of the shows, of the books.

Starting point is 00:12:07 Wait, really? Yeah. Okay, well, in this universe that this guy wrote, this erotic fanfic scene. Right. Oh, it's called Ron's Secret. That's what it was called. It was great. It was like 2,000 words. It was like perfect.

Starting point is 00:12:21 Right, Ron's Secret. But I only read the first chapter. There were seven chapters to it. But anyway. Ron's Secret is that he they use transit he kills himself after he gets surgery And jk wrong is like this is canon actually This is actually what happened I mean this guy works very hard in the store you respect the rid and word Ron's Secret Erotic Fanfic. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:12:46 Yeah, here we go. Ron's Secret. I'm not tailing tales out of school. This one's from 2009, man. This is a classic. Mm. But yeah, this isn't a funny part because it says Ron unzipped his trousers.

Starting point is 00:12:57 He pulled down his underwear exposing his four inch penis. Ha ha ha ha ha. Under his firecrotch. It's funny, in a fantasy, the guy's like, hmm, let's do some crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's funny in a fantasy the guy's like, hmm, let's do some crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's four inch. In the fantasy, it's like no one's satisfied.

Starting point is 00:13:13 A pulsing four inch penis. This was published by DeathlikeSilence in 2009. This person got, this is 223 reviews. This was a big hit on fanfiction.net. This is part one, the Agni. No one on fanfiction.net. This is part one the Agni No one knew how it had happened Ron had just got carried away yet the bleakness and desolation would not leave He couldn't stop thinking about her the connection. They had shared the comfort their short lived romance had brought him So this is the thing that somewhat gets a frantic about this because it said

Starting point is 00:13:40 It said Harry had sent him upstairs to feed headwick while he went out to play quidditch with Guinea It said Harry had sent him upstairs to feed headwick while he went out to play quidditch with Guinea Ron could still remember how betrayed he had felt when the boy we when he is he was in love with had begun dating his own sister I think that's Guinea is a okay Yeah, but it was nowhere as painful as this so in this Ron's gay and wants to fuck airy Mm, so what he does is he goes up to feed head wig? You know that owl sure and he anyway, he rapes the owl feed head wig, you know that owl? Sure. And anyway, he rapes the owl.

Starting point is 00:14:04 Jesus Christ. Okay. It says here, Ron rustling head wig, shining feathers as the blood ran down his legs. You've done this before, haven't you? He whispered giving his, her ass a little spank. The owl only screeched. The owl's ass?

Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah, he's fucking the owl and its ass. Because he's looking out the window as Harry's playing Quidditch. Yeah. And he's like, I'm so gay. I'll just have sex with this owl. Out of revenge? Or he's just so horny.

Starting point is 00:14:31 No, he's just so horny. Because apparently he reveals in this in like chapter 3 or something that Ron also used to fuck his rat. So he likes to fuck. Who was hiding as a grown up? That was the grown up magician or whatever they are. Yeah, that's right. Hiding as a rat. Yeah. So this one was a grown up. That was the grown up magician or whatever they are. Yeah, that's right. Hiding as a rat.

Starting point is 00:14:46 Yeah, so this one was a big hit. People really liked it, but it says here, the only reason I brought it up, the only reason it was irrelevant, because it says Hermione caught him and he turns around and goes, oh shit, and with a mighty tug, Ron finally managed to pull up his zipper.

Starting point is 00:15:01 Evidently, he had been unable to pry the Owl's beak out of his crotch as it was still attached to the zipper. Hedwig shrieked in horror as blood began pouring over the floor, which was already hidden beneath a layer of owl feathers and Ron's pubes. So they really, it's not even like the owl's sexy and into it. It's like, no, he raped the owl and like ripped its asshole open and it bled everywhere. God damn it.

Starting point is 00:15:22 God, he had to rape an owl. God damn it. Whoever wrote this should be killed. Should we read reviews? Yeah, of course. You're the best part about ass raping an owl is they can turn their head fully around and you can kiss them while you rape their ass. And then and then what you and Al is blowing you when it's done, it spits out a big ball and you open up and there's a bunch of common side of it.

Starting point is 00:15:49 Common mice bones. And bones, yeah. I love reviews where people are like, amusing December 21st, 2009. That very amusing. I love that the, what's funny to me is somebody being like, kind of pedantic. It's derivative. It's derivative.

Starting point is 00:16:05 It's derivative of Hitler, donkey, 42. Yeah, so. Like a Herald the Bloom for fan fiction. Prolapse commented on February 8th, 2010. One of the few pieces of fan fiction worth reading. Thank you, at Prolapse. Mother of God. I know. I was on my old fan fiction websites today trying to find good stuff

Starting point is 00:16:29 Everyone including yourself who has viewed this website should be killed like how the Vietnamese used to torture soldiers Yeah, they should have a bucket full of rats tied to their stomach and then a fire put on top of the bucket And the rats eat into their ballet. That's how they should be killed. That really sucks. The problem is they probably they'd love that. They'd come a lot. They'd start. They'd be like, hand me a pencil.

Starting point is 00:16:52 I need to write. I can only come when I write. I'm inspired. A big will. Like, we'll leave Shakespeare a huge quill writing, writing Peter Griffin pornography. It's fanfiction days. Respect the art form, please. Can I can I ask you not to go back?

Starting point is 00:17:11 Can I ask you about the horse fucking? So we're on the topic of having sex with animals. OK, you're not changing the topic at all. I'm changing it slightly. I like to say we run a tight podcast here when we talk about Al rape. No, we actually have a whiteboard behind the camera and it says horse rape. Yeah, up top. We have a guy with cue cards and says horse rape.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Black guys. And then our producer comes up with a sign. He goes, not racist enough. More racism. Yeah, it's like when you're jet, when you're skiing behind a boat and you have like, he has all the symbols to like make it more racist or less. This is just racist enough. Were we going to talk about having sex with a horse?

Starting point is 00:17:55 I was just going to say, obviously, when a guy has sex with a horse, he bends over and gets fucked in the ass. But a lady, does she like, does she almost do that kind of thing that Indians used to do when they would ride on the side of the horse? Does she slide underneath it and get fucked like missionary style while holding on to the torso of the horse?

Starting point is 00:18:15 I've seen images where they like, it looks like they're putting on a parachute or something. Like they strap into something. Cause otherwise the horse would just throw him through the can you get the fucking is a dirt can you get the horse dead? Can you get the horse on its back and then ride it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:18:32 Because the horse wants to like see it. Right. The horse, the horse is like kind of soft. It's like, jerk me off a little bit. Horses like, come on, get me going. Sorry, this never happens. I'll force feeding go horse blue chew. Because it's mad.

Starting point is 00:18:46 It's not fucking a gay guy. It's fucking a woman. It would be funny if like you're with your, like you're with your buddy and you both want to get fucked by the horse. Yeah. He refuses to have sex with you. Mm hmm. I'd have to put him down with your only.

Starting point is 00:18:59 I'm like the horse is refusing to fuck me, but he's going to fuck my body. I would do the same thing when a woman doesn't fuck me. I would kill that horse. Take her out in a field and put her down. Put her down. I really do. If like I caught, if I lived on a farm, well, a lot about my life would be different.

Starting point is 00:19:14 But if I did live on a farm and I caught my wife having sex, I mean, if you catch your wife having sex with the livestock, I don't care if it's a goat, cow, pig, chicken. The dicks are always gonna be bigger than mine. You're putting down that animal. That's true. Whether you forgive your wife or not is irrelevant. Yeah, I love you not being mad at your wife at all.

Starting point is 00:19:39 Yeah, no, I mean, come on. Just be like, you cocksucker chicken. You fucked my wife? You were giving her those eyes yesterday. You try to bow up on the chicken and it kicks your ass. I get my ass in. It kicks your ass and then it fucks you. Yeah, it's family guy in real life,

Starting point is 00:19:56 except a chicken actually kicks my ass. It's a chicken this big and it whoops your ass. It's got big, big like fighting Irish feathers. What time I was listening to Rogan during the pandemic and you tell him the story about like how about chicken fucking how chickens can kill people. Yeah. And he said one time he had this chicken and like his his daughter was like in the pen with the chicken and he said the chicken was trying to kill her.

Starting point is 00:20:19 And he said he picked the chicken like put it in a headlock. It was like, don't you ever fucking lay. He thought it was red man. I'm gonna go back to the vaccine to the facts. Doing a spinning kick on a chicken. Chicken was getting ghosted by porn stars. I mean, can I say that is kind of retarded to be like I have to kick a chicken's ass.

Starting point is 00:20:57 Yeah, well, that's like, but that's why he's a beautiful man is because he's like, if he sees a chicken as a threat, he's gonna jump in there. No, yeah. You like put it in a headlock like he's cutting off its air flow. No, I it's because he's like, if he sees a chicken as a threat, he's gonna jump in there. No, yes. You put it in a headlock, like he's cutting off its air flow.

Starting point is 00:21:09 No, I love him because it's like you gave a chimp $400 million. And it behaves the exact same way. It's beautiful, frankly. He claims a chicken can kill a five year old, which I don't know if that's true or not. Maybe I just haven't been around chickens enough. I don't think they can kill like. I don't buy that. I don't buy that, yeah true or not. Like maybe I just haven't been around chickens enough. I don't think they can kill like.

Starting point is 00:21:25 I don't buy that. I don't buy that, yeah. I mean, I may, maybe like a baby. Yeah, I could poke it though. Yeah, if you put a one day old like newborn there. Yeah. It could like sit on it and it would stop breathing. Which is like who's doing that?

Starting point is 00:21:38 Unless you're reenacting like the Nazareth scene or whatever the major. Yeah, like what? But yeah, I mean, I could see Rogan like body slamming a cockroach in his kitchen. Yeah, do you stand your ground to a bug? Shooting a bug with a big compound bow? That bug was trying to get in here and fuck my wife. I'm putting a brown recluse and a chokehold. I'd fucking, if I walked in on a cow,

Starting point is 00:22:10 like my wife, like fucking a cow though, I'd body slam that cow. I'd put my arm around it. I'd put down the real animal, which is my wife. There we go. And then you'd fuck the cow. I'd fuck the cow. I'd milk my wife and then marry the cow.

Starting point is 00:22:22 I'd be like, this cow's got 10 tits. I'm gonna titty fuck this cow. I'd milk my wife and then marry the cow. This is just cows got 10 tits. I'm going to take this cow. I'm going to push its others together around my penis like that football drill where you run through the polls and the milk is an all icky that they have. You know, I keep picturing Brian Reben as a chicken now like he because Brian might as well have a cloaca. Yeah. Brian, if he was a chicken, he'd be a better producer.

Starting point is 00:22:46 You could train him to hit the record button and then hit the stop button through signals. A picturing Brian shitting and pissing out of the same hole now. I mean, he probably does. Laying an egg, yeah, cracking it open. There's a smaller Brian red man in it Holding an iPad. That's more retarded He's like, ah shit. He's gonna kill it

Starting point is 00:23:21 He's crushing it like a beer can. He goes off fuck I have a retarded baby fuck I had a retarded Brian Redband baby from my egg. Baka. I could see him laying eggs. Baka. I could see him literally laying eggs. I know. Why can't I picture that with these eggs? A chicken with the fitted cap.

Starting point is 00:23:40 A fitted cap that says Sin City on it, going Baka. Oh, I love them. Joe's interview with Cat is great. It's, Cat is like amazing. I love it today, it was pretty boring. Oh, I just think Cat, like the way he talks and shit. I love Cat, but- I love seeing Joe being very enthusiastic.

Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah, it was cool, I just didn't wanna hear, I like kept kind of skipping, because I didn't wanna hear Rogan talk to Cat Williams, but like interdimensional travel or whatever. He goes, Joe, I have schizophrenia. That'll break my brain. There was a funny part where he goes, like, why are black people so obsessed with menthols, man?

Starting point is 00:24:12 Oh, I heard about this. And Cat Williams like, that's a racist. I'm not getting into that. That is racist. That is a racist conversation. And then you see his next special opens with a big bit about menthols. It's so funny for him to accuse. I know.

Starting point is 00:24:29 He's like, Joe Rogan thought I was a chicken and body slammed me. He thought I was a chicken Shannon shop that was trying to kill his daughter. There's something comforting about Rogan being back on YouTube. I love clicking on Rogan. I go, it popped up this morning. Oh, he's back. Back on YouTube, I love clicking on Rogan. I go, it popped up this morning. Oh, is that back on YouTube?

Starting point is 00:24:46 Oh, great. He'll always be a special guy to me. Same. Very generous, very nice. And just even before I even got to meet him or anything or know him, just his show has always been so comforting. Yeah, by the way you talk here, we can tell you guys have a really close relationship.

Starting point is 00:25:05 We're very close. Yeah, very close. Yeah, I can tell. Very close. Yeah, no, yeah, you know. He called me once to talk to me for an hour and he was very, very nice. He was very complimentary to me.

Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah. He thought you were Ben Shapiro. He goes, oh shit. He goes, oh wait, this is Ben Avery, fuck. Trying to call Ben and talk about trans people. Asking you how to use the intellectual dark web. So I have to download Tor. He's trying to talk you into killing all those kids

Starting point is 00:25:37 who have litter boxes in schools. That was cool, though. Yeah, he talked to you. He talked to me for literally an hour and he didn't have to do that. Yeah, he was just you. He talked to me for literally an hour and he didn't have to do that. He was just very. No, I remember that he gave you like a lot of like good life advice.

Starting point is 00:25:49 He listened to you. It was a very kind thing to do. Yeah, it was really, really encouraging that he even took the time to do that. It made a lot to me. I mean, he's a great guy. But even before getting to like kind of know, I mean, obviously I'm not his friend, obviously.

Starting point is 00:26:08 Yeah. No fuck. Right. You're more of a Berkresher guy. That's, well, that's, Joe knows I'm very close with Carlos Mencia too. I'm very close with Carlos Mencia. You're right, most of Carlos Mencia's bean or jokes. But pre, like him on YouTube going live was such a comforting thing. Yeah, it was like fuck I love this guy so much. I'm very happy he's back on YouTube. It's great.

Starting point is 00:26:33 Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's so popular to just dunk on Joe and to just call him like a retard and to say this and that about him. And it's easy to parody him, but I'm sorry. That's like, he's like a, he's like a crackling fire to me. He's like a dark, he's like a crackling fire and like the darkness where you just want to go, Oh, this is nice. He's just kind of saying things. I've already heard him say. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:58 He's like a fire that attracts like, like comedians that are bugs. But instead of burning him up, he gives him careers. Careers. No, he is. He's awesome. Like him even talking to Kat, he was like a little kid talking to him. Like his eyes were getting really big and he was all. I will listen to the first 10 minutes before you guys got here.

Starting point is 00:27:17 Oh, yeah, the beginning is OK. But yeah, I kept listening and it's just he's they're talking about stuff I didn't want. I don't care. I want to hear Kat go off on whatever the fuck he was talking about unlike a Shannon Sharp show Ricky smile. Yeah, I just want him to be like yeah exactly I wanted him to go off on likes like sprite him again. Yeah He'll talk shit about an open mic or from like 1983. Yeah, he goes the fat doctor was a hack He was a hack he didn't coach Dave Chappelle when he started. He talks shit about people that have like no internet record.

Starting point is 00:27:50 Like you can't even find this person ever existing anywhere. Yeah, and it'll be like, there was this piece of shit he just died today. Fuck him. Yeah. I made his career. He made $7 from comedy his entire life and he died by suicide. Fuck him.

Starting point is 00:28:08 And you'll never catch me talking about him on any goddamn show. I've never talked about him once, Shannon Shock. I don't know who he is, Shannon. It's me, Shannon. I'm five foot one and I'm talking to Joe Rogan. We look like Franklin and Charlie Brown. I picture him like an old, like a picture. Cat Williams like sleeping on a shelf on top of his stove during the winter.

Starting point is 00:28:33 Yeah, he's like an elf on the shelf. 40s like Russian. Yeah. I literally picture I was just like literally as you say that I was picturing cat in a big fish tank, like a man of shrimp. Just crawling around and like picking up rocks and kind of like chewing on them. He's in the aquarium at Red Lobster. I have never ate plankton.

Starting point is 00:28:53 Kat Williams with rubber bands on his hands. He's like, all these motherfuckers are gonna die tonight. Not me. They're not gonna boil my ass. I'm gonna chop. Notice every other lobster has rubber bands over their claws. Not me. He's talking to you.

Starting point is 00:29:10 Oh, you're waiting. I'm built different, Shannon. I'm built different. Consider the lobster their bitch is, Shannon. Smugga's Johnson stole my part in King's Ransom in 2007. David Foster Wallace named that essay after me. I'm the lobster and consider the lobster you consider me cuz I'll cut a bitch with my big lobster claws Yeah, he is like schizophrenic though, it's awesome. I love him. I don't know he has an answer for like everything Like he's just one of those guys. Yeah, but that's what's great

Starting point is 00:29:40 Which is awesome because he knows fantasies like the same thing as like whatever everything else is now. Yeah, you might as well be like protons and electrons. Yeah, it's all it's listen to me. I've I invented atoms physics. I split the atom. I was at the Manhattan Project, calling those boys crackers and juice. I just really wanted I wanted I ended racism. Shannon, I ended racism by killing all the Native American,

Starting point is 00:30:06 Shannon Shaw. I am the spirit of the Old West genocide. Shannon, I led the march ensemble. I am General Sherman and I burned Atlanta to the ground. Shannon Shaw. And killer Mike was there and I fucked him in the ass. I knew Meek Mill was gay cuz he sucked my dick Shannon shop to meet mill is on Twitter like he's acting like the Indian guy from bad Santa

Starting point is 00:30:35 He's like I am not gay. Okay. Fuck you. I am not gay ass clown He's so obviously the guy for the parking lot. Yeah, the parking lot. Oh, man. It's also it's also so funny. He's like, I'm not I fucking hate gay people. It's been a very fun day for black people on Twitter. He keeps going. No, he just keeps being like, I love titties, they're titties and then pussies are great. Pussies get wet and you suck on them. And I love that. Those guys, they're brains. There's like a guy playing like tic-tac-toe

Starting point is 00:31:11 with thoughts up there. It's just a guy with beanbags up there. And he goes, you gotta say that now. I'm sorry, it's where it landed. You gotta do it. I don't know what to tell you. And he just goes, I'm gay. Yeah, the brain is like John

Starting point is 00:31:30 It's like watching a human Jenga set like a micro brewery That's good very good we can't name the episode that I think we could we could I mean god god knows The pharmaceutical industry really did a number on like rappers brains. Like drugs got too good where they can't. I don't think Meek Mill, I don't think it's pharmaceuticals. Yeah, I think Meek Mill is just, being a closeted black man for 30 years gave him CTE. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah. Wasn't that the famous picture if he put a gun between his butt cheeks, right? Put his butt cheeks and he did like duck face and took a picture. And the people keep posting like old snap, old like Instagram posts of his and he keeps like saying like, so my phone turned on

Starting point is 00:32:10 and like it just took that picture but it's like a bunch of french fries on his cock and like in a pool and you're like what? Yeah. And there's a lot. Yeah. I've seen a lot of clips people posting him appearing pretty fruity, I gotta say. Well, he does always sound like he's wrapping from the other room, which now I'm imagining is a closet.

Starting point is 00:32:28 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dreams and nightmares he was dreaming about cock and nightmares about pussy. He always sounds like he's like rapping, like, I'm in here. Look, it's he's yelling so hard. Yeah. I mean, any brother goes to prison,

Starting point is 00:32:42 he's gonna come out gay, right? Down low brother. I mean, down out gay, right? Down low brother. I mean down low brother. That's what I'm saying. Down low brother. Some down low brothers. I like the sound of that. What a down low brother.

Starting point is 00:32:53 You never heard of the DL? You never heard of down DL brothers? Ooh, I have now. Oh my God. That's why DL Hughley has his name. Yeah, down low Hughley. Because he's, he got fucked in the ass by the Kings of Comedy.

Starting point is 00:33:04 They all read it straight. Yeah, Bernie Mac the ass by the Kings of Comedy. They all ran straight. Yeah, Bernie Mac raped the shit out of DL. That's why they wore such huge suits. There's a bunch of kids in there sucking them off. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the ghost of Christmas Future, but those two kids are sucking him off. Our present, excuse me.

Starting point is 00:33:24 Yeah. No, you're forgiven. A down low brother. Down low brother. Down low brother means a guy who's a gay guy because he went to prison but when he leaves prison he goes, I didn't suck dick in there. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not that. It's a, it's a closeted black man because black people hate gay people usually in Atlanta Atlanta Atlanta is known as DL city. It's the gayest black place. I think that's what I've heard if you're you are a gay Black man you go to Africa to be gay It's amazing you hit black harder than gay somehow. Did you say you started off being like you're like gay than gay somehow. You started off being like, you're like, gay?

Starting point is 00:34:03 Blah! Why'd you say they go to Africa? They go to Africa because they have a death wish? Why did you say Africa? He said Africa. No, I did not. That's crazy. You literally did.

Starting point is 00:34:16 No, I didn't. Listen, hey listen, Robert Byrd, you did. You racist son of a bitch. He's a racist bitch. Yes, that's old racist, man. It was like a senator who like, senator who like voted. Hey, Robert E. Lee.

Starting point is 00:34:30 Yeah, I'm so racist you're referencing senators from like 1811. Do you think Atlanta is Africa? Do you think that's in Africa? I didn't say Africa. That's crazy. Do you think Magic City is in like Mumbai? Come on. Come on, I didn't say that. Yeah, do you think big boy talks like, it is great to be in?

Starting point is 00:34:48 I love our guests. Yeah, when I watch Madagascar, I'm like, oh man, Georgia's crazy. So the Atlanta Falcons play here. Wild stuff. You really do seem like you like secretly produced Jesse Lee Peterson's podcast. You said, he said it, right? He said Africa. You said he said it right?

Starting point is 00:35:06 He said Africa. The tape will tell, but I believe you said Africa. Yeah, that Jesse Lee Peterson guy is crazy. Who's Jesse Lee Peterson? He's this black guy. Every day he's like, now slavery was actually good for the slaves. Pretty much.

Starting point is 00:35:20 And then this person that he has on is like, who, why did I agree to do this show? This is insane. It's like a twitch streamer. That's like whoa. I Didn't know we were getting into this. Yeah, somehow people haven't caught on to him because yeah Cuz it's kind of I think he gets like liberals on it that don't say no to black interviews It's the beauty of that exactly so they don't look into it because he's a black guy Yeah, so Hasan Piker will be on it and be like, whoa, I thought it was just a enjoying black company. I thought we were some brothers in Congress, but I've been proven wrong.

Starting point is 00:35:52 I've seen clips of Jeff Silly Peterson when he's like, when I was a kid, I love, some of my favorite memies were picking cotton. And I love picking cotton. I swear to God. He'll say stuff like that. He says shit like that all the time. He's the, yeah, he's what people in the black community

Starting point is 00:36:08 call a, you know, a. An Uncle Tom. A Coon. Oh, sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Let's call the episode that.

Starting point is 00:36:16 By the way, every listener at home just went, Bingo! Bingo! Bingo! You have Bingo. They're flying down the lane right now to turn in their cars. They're talking about Mary. They're like, Frank's it beans! Frank's it beans! They're calling up other fans of the podcast, making collect calls across the country.

Starting point is 00:36:36 I didn't want to say it, but I think that's what black people would call him. He's pretty bad. That's what he's being. He's trying to make money, so he's just going to say the what he's being. Yeah. He's trying to make money. So he's just going to say the thing he's not supposed to say. I mean, that's literally what it is. It's like, it's like people like our dad to be like, to send us a clip and be like, you see, he said they should be in James.

Starting point is 00:36:55 So he exists. I'm a bad guy because I've cherry picked one black guy. One black guy. Exactly. The only black I've ever watched a video of said they should be in chains. Excuse me. And him especially where it's like, he has like a serious brain injury of some kind.

Starting point is 00:37:14 But I did not. He has a brain injury? Say Africa. You said Africa. You said Atlanta. I'm almost willing to, pretty sure I'm correct. You looked at me and you thought so. Well, if I'm wrong, I will go. You looked at me and you thought so.

Starting point is 00:37:25 If I'm wrong, I will go back and post and I will sink it up. Is Atlanta a real place to you? I've been, I love biscuits and gravy and like Atlanta style food. Wow. Yeah, you're not helping. I love, I went to a place with SamTalent,

Starting point is 00:37:41 we had pimento cheese. Don't rope SamTalent. Don't bring him into this. You're so racist, you went to Atlanta, you had a Pimento cheese sandwich. Yeah, that's crazy. That's the most racist thing I've ever heard. You go, where's my-

Starting point is 00:37:51 You're like, I went to Atlanta, I did my taxes there. It was great. I went to Atlanta. Where's the fucking Italian food? He's psychopath. I'm getting him to be false. You went to a silver like ramen in Atlanta and you left. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:38:03 Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ah. You went to a silver like ramen in Atlanta and you left. Yeah, you you you stopped off in Atlanta and immediately started walking to Augusta, Georgia to the masters. You were hitchhiking to the masters on foot. I had a lovely time when I was in Atlanta. I great city there. I had Pimento this Pimento cheese and fried chicken on this thing. I was with Sam Talent.

Starting point is 00:38:26 Yeah. Who is, who doesn't want to be a part of any of this dialogue. No! I can already hear his tour show numbers plummeting on YouTube. What are you saying you're with Sam Talent, like he's black? That's what I'm saying, like that is a little bit of cred.

Starting point is 00:38:44 What? He's not black, he's white. He's like, he's best That's what I'm saying. Like that is a little bit of cred. What? He's not black. He's white. He's like, he's best friends with David Borey. Like that kind of counts. Okay, you're doing six degrees of black people now. How odd dude. No, like Sam's like, black people love Sam

Starting point is 00:38:55 is what I'm saying. And then I'm with Sam and we're rolling him. We're getting like biscuits and like chicken and stuff. Your defense is you get attacked and you're defense is- Dude, put me in this corner. You put yourself in this corner. You put yourself in this corner. You put yourself in the corner and then you try

Starting point is 00:39:09 to get out of the corner, you hold the gun in your mouth and start firing. Oh, I'm holding myself hostage right now. Yeah, exactly. I'm but drawing myself, but I'm not pulling the trigger. You literally said Atlanta was Africa. And you did it, no. I didn't say that.

Starting point is 00:39:23 You sucked so bad. You suck of a bitch. Even if I did, no, even if I did, they both start with A's. That's not even that crazy. True common mistake. No, that's not insane at all. I've done that millions of times.

Starting point is 00:39:37 You might as well have been like, so black people go to Wakanda, you think Atlanta's Wakanda. Like I'm from Abilene, Texas, right? Yeah, I think on by mistake. I've said like Abilene, Kansas before like maybe same thing I probably haven't yeah, I think about I'm trying to think of a better one I've actually heard you nail Abilene, Texas nine million times in a row. Damn it. Yeah fuck that really fucking is bad It's really well, I was probably here's what I probably was doing.

Starting point is 00:40:05 I think being racist. No, no, no, I think I was gonna say African American, but then I realized people don't say African American, so then I said black, and then the word Africa was still in my head. So then when Atlantic came- I feel like we're watching Kramer on Letterman right now. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. It's not funny. I really can't wait for the day we actually have to make an apology. We have to send Ben out to the podium just with a shovel.

Starting point is 00:40:35 It's the only reason I want us to reach that level is to watch Ben make an apology. So you can go apologize and cat Williams schizophrenia voice. Yeah, yeah. You're at your 20 minutes into your apology speech and you start saying the Negroid Skull. I'm like, how's he doing up there? And I just hear that. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go back outside

Starting point is 00:40:55 and drink in the parking lot. It'd be so funny to do like a press apology and you see me walking up there with like an ill fitting suit and tie. And I have like blueprints like under here and I have like rulers and like protractors and you guys are like, yeah, this is gonna be a, this is gonna be a rough one.

Starting point is 00:41:10 He brought an abacus with them on stage. And slingier. Yeah. Like an old device from the 1600s so you can see like where the sun is in relation to the earth. You're trying to scientifically prove you're not racist but it keeps proving you are.

Starting point is 00:41:22 Every time. You're like those flat earthers who do the experiments that proves the earth is round. And then the experiments are surrounded, you're just like, hmm, well, there must be something wrong with our measurements, our instruments here. God damn it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:41:40 Well, well, I said it. Hey, I'm not. There's no takey backsies on this show. It's also very funny to call Atlanta Africa while a horse is right behind you. Is this your KKK simulator right now? Big comes in here, puts a hood on and just watches this footage. This is creepy. It's very creepy. Women masturbate to this.

Starting point is 00:42:03 They put in big dildos and their pussies They do sell they do sell horse dildos. That is true. Yeah Ben thinks this horse is mr. T He goes I got the mullock Yeah, I found a in other news I found some a telly-tubby erotic fanfic But we don't get into that. Well, I think you were telling us about a telly-tubby erotic fanfic, but we don't get into that No, I think you were telling us about the telly-tubby erotic fanfiction in the patreon episode. I found it Telly-tubby you guys hate me now No, you guys think I suck. I don't hate you. I love you. I love you man

Starting point is 00:42:36 I love you with all my heart. I just want you to admit that you hate black people Your entire being you guys love me now, but wait until the woke mob comes after me and then I'll see who my real friends are. Yeah. The woke mob. I love the idea that we'll ever be in a position to be taken down. Like, we're finished. We're already, we started off finished.

Starting point is 00:42:56 Yeah. No, the only thing I'm worried about is eventually Google taking us off forever. Yeah, that's all. I'm just worried about YouTube and we have to make like a server or whatever the fuck. But even if we do that, can't we just put the episodes publicly on Patreon and on Apple. I mean, like, yeah, I'm just saying like, you know, we're completely

Starting point is 00:43:13 fine. We're completely fine. But yeah, you are a problem. Mm hmm. It's only gonna get worse. You wear, you wear like lacrosse shirts and all sorts of shit under the the lacoste. Lacoste, whatever the fuck. You say what you say. It's unbelievable combination. This is black though. It's a hood on top of a hood on top of a hood.

Starting point is 00:43:33 They're all white. It really is. Very good, Devin. But I'll have you, this is a gator. What is that one? Lacoste, it's a gator. And then, but then there's the whale one. They're all vineyard

Starting point is 00:43:45 They all represent like Brock Turner And his family's beliefs it is the it is white easy Vineyard vines Damn, this is one of those weeks where it's like how are the boys gonna get out of this pickle? Well, it looks like the Duke boys were really racist this time. And you've got the same car, but it's got more Confederate flags on it. It shows me trying to power wash a swastika off

Starting point is 00:44:13 the side of that fucking car. But you accidentally paint another swastika in the dirt of the wall. That's what the show should have been, by the way. What? What was that fucking car with the stars and bars on it? The general lead. They should have just had a fucking big swash to go on the sunny side. It should have been the whole thing and they dressed up like Nazis. Looks like the Hitler boys are in deep trouble this time.

Starting point is 00:44:36 Boss Hogg's just a big fat Jewish guy. Yeah, we gotta make that show. Their horn plays a flight of the Valkyries as they're driving. Yep. Yeah. I think that the problem is having the kid, it's almost like PEDs for your racism, like performance enhancing drugs. Beforehand, you were juicing now. Beforehand, you were like, like Barry Bonds on the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Starting point is 00:45:00 Like one of the greatest of all time. I think that's the best thing about it. enhancing drugs. Beforehand, you were juicing now. Beforehand, you were like like Barry Bonds on the Pittsburgh Pirates. Like one of the greatest of all time. And now you're 2004, Barry Bonds, like 0.999 on base percentage for racism. Yeah. Doing stats that'll never be repeated again. The problem is like now it's not like meant to be racist. He's like sleepwalking. Yeah, like you just you shake him awake and all of a sudden he's, you know, yeah, got a little cross in a thing of gasoline. He's like, huh, what?

Starting point is 00:45:36 Going to get really into that Buddhist symbol that looks just like the swastika. Yeah, you know, I was I was tell something the other day. Literally every culture has had a swastika symbol because I guess it used to mean peace. Yeah, it was like a universal symbol. Then they're the lies we've been told. They like tilted it or whatever. Yeah, that's what I've been saying. It's good to be a Nazi.

Starting point is 00:46:00 Well, that's. This is what happens anytime, like anytime, like someone has the smallest piece of information that might add someone's like, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's what happens anytime. Like anytime, like someone has the smallest piece of information that might add someone's like, yeah, that's what I've been saying. Guys have been trying to say this whole time. Yeah. Hitler had some great things. Yeah. The guy, the guy who hears about birdie made off and he's like, listen, I'm just saying maybe it didn't happen.

Starting point is 00:46:22 Maybe it didn't. You will be on Jesse Lee Peterson's show soon. I'll go on his show. So you are, you are a prophet. You are, you are the Messiah. You are Jesus hotel. Oh, that's so funny. He's like, I've, I've heard great tale of you.

Starting point is 00:46:38 Yeah. It's like, it's like Morpheus meeting the one. Dude, that has to be, someone has to make that fake trailer now. The where I'm the matrix. It's the racist. The Rakesys Rakesys. Yeah. There we go. Someone's got to make that now. Mm hmm. Wake up Neo. No, no, he he wakes up and it just says say it. Mm hmm. You think that on the computer. Yeah, you think those are slurs you're saying right now?

Starting point is 00:47:10 But he wakes up out of the he wakes up out of the matrix and it's a perfect land with where no black people. Ben took the grape pill. There we go. See, we're doing something. God damn it. I hate when you pulled me into. I hate you. I hate you.

Starting point is 00:47:25 I hate you. And your stupid pants that you keep wearing that look like your skin. Cause you're trying to show off to our 30 game. I'm not. I'm not. It does look like you skinned yourself. I've worn these shorts before at a podcast.

Starting point is 00:47:37 It looks like you got a tan and skinned yourself and then you're wearing the skin. It's really fucked up, dude. Yeah, it's fucked up, man. I walk into the matrix world where if my girlfriend was wearing those, I tell her to change before we went outside. I walk into, uh, I walk into that, uh, big, uh, Dojo place where Morpheus teaches Nio. I'm like, Oh, Jesse Lee Peterson.

Starting point is 00:47:56 Are we here to learn kung fu? And I'm, he's like, no, we're just going to do the accent. Now put those sandals on. We're really going to appropriate some culture. Yeah, you go see the Oracle so you can kill her. Oh, and then when I go into the matrix, by the way, I'm a cop and I'm on the Minneapolis police department. And I call all the agents are they're all Floyd's they're all George Floyd's you go into the architects room And it's just he miles Chong

Starting point is 00:48:30 thousand TV screens Black people stealing honey buns America Oh, Kimia has to be a Pock in this right the guy at the at the thing with all the he's driving the Nebuchadnezzar What's his name? Comey is comey is just like at the screen. He's like he's like, you know that yeah now It's second nature. I just see you know Puerto Rican guy black guy Chinese guy 13% right there 13% right there You know, that's what it is. I love QV is yeah, he's talking to Agent Smith. He's like, I want to go back in. I want to I want to host a show on compound media.

Starting point is 00:49:11 I want to be somebody famous. I want to be Derek Chavez. Oh, man, that's that rolls. Every time you say something racist, I high five this little Chinese kitty over here. Oh, yeah, for good luck. That's where that rolls. Every time you say something racist, I high five this little Chinese kitty over here. Oh, yeah, for good luck. I just go, whoo. Those are good luck.

Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah, they are. I think Red Band loves those too. I mean, I have that in common with them. I'm into shit like that. Yeah, Red Band loves anything you can buy at the mall that pretends to be Chinese. He loves mall ninjas shit. That's Chinese.

Starting point is 00:49:43 It's Japanese, right? Japanese, I don't know. I think it's, I don't know, I never fused enough. But you buy them in Chinatown, so who really knows? That is true, they do love to mingle, and you never know what's what. You go to a Chinese place, they got sushi, you're like, what the hell is going on?

Starting point is 00:49:58 Didn't you guys all fight each other? You guys rape, you rape the whole country. What the fuck? I know the rape of Nanking I read the history books You're trying to totally got cocked in that whole thing you're gonna somehow choke yourself turn around in this chair You got the mic cord wrapped around your neck like a baby This is like the reason they don't this is the reason they don't give babies like toys with strings on them Okay, good lord. Sorry about that.

Starting point is 00:50:25 Now what are you gonna say? He's trying to lynch himself over here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one of my favorite pieces. Sure. Pieces. Oh, God. Oh, Galman. God damn it. I'm just kidding. That was a little bit of a curveball. Can I tell you, just seeing his face makes me want to change my entire hair and beard right now. Even though it's a good combo for me, I'm like, I can't have the same as Brett.

Starting point is 00:50:57 News. Swastikas are cool now. They're good. Dude, we should have them on the show. They're great. Put them on your clothes, wear them as jewelry, march around with your hand in the air, and your feet kicking up with straight legs.

Starting point is 00:51:17 That's the new raid. He's saying like the Nazi soul. Should be. Yeah, I know. Because that's fun, that's great, that's the new America that we want to see and that we want to be intifada, intifada, cis-boom-abada. Wow, that's, that is, it's like Charles Manson on the stand. I suck the penis is Jack.

Starting point is 00:51:52 He's making like turkey noises. He's got a star. David carved in his forehead. I think I'm the gay guy at the underworld, Jack. I suck the Cox. I drink the cum. I do the genocides. I think he's going.

Starting point is 00:52:04 I control the bombs., I drink the cums. I do the genocides. I think he's going, I control the bombs, Jen. Oh my God. He's reading his own book, the terrifying realm of the possible. What are, what? I hope Brett Gelman has, because of your tweets about him dying, has listened to the podcast.

Starting point is 00:52:30 Oh. I mean, he did tweet a big thing about like, hey, you fucking anti-Semites, like right after Ben was like going, like, like, trolling. I legitimately went viral about him dying. Saying he died. Yeah, so I've been saying there's a good chance he he stocked your profile, listened to lemon party and was like, yeah, this is exactly what I thought I was.

Starting point is 00:52:50 It's like this makes perfect sense. He's completely vindicated and all his anger. He called his black wife. He was so upset at the racism. Yeah. He called. We have to get back together. I have to dump my Jewish wife to get back with my black wife because these guys are so racist. Well, I will say this, because I'm about to play this, he hasn't stopped.

Starting point is 00:53:09 I pray for peace. I pray for life. But most of all, I pray for most of you, But most of all I pray for most of you shutting the fuck off. Did you know that so the reason oh my god Ben the reason Aaron Bushnell set himself on fires because of Brett's comedy He was outside of Brett Gellman show in protest. Yeah, he walked outside. He goes I cannot support these Jewish people And let himself on fire. Yeah, yeah poor Aaron Bush. No, that was the weirdest blackface attempt ever weirdest blackface attempt ever.

Starting point is 00:54:05 That's so good. That was bizarre. It is crazy to set yourself on fire and immediately be turned into like gripper cringe, Pepe memes. Yeah, like within like 30 minutes. Immediately have a cop pull his gun out on your fucking burning body. That was fucking insane. That was the funniest thing of all time. Well, the cop, the cop has a skin turned to turn black, got nervous

Starting point is 00:54:23 and pulled the gun The cop kneeled on his neck After the corpse turned black yeah cops keep dying because they keep trying to kneel on burning his burning body That was so fucking like it's like he's obviously like already a suicidal man, right? Or did he really do that in just protests? I think people just want to kill themselves. I think you just want to die and use a cause at the end. I mean, you know, I'm not going to... Or maybe not. Maybe not. I don't want to belittle...

Starting point is 00:54:51 It's fucking hardcore, but to me, it just seemed like if I was suicidal and I, like, you know, whatever, I went to Staples Center and I lit myself in fire yelling, "'Trade LeBron.'" This is like... Like, nothing's changing, dude. You're just a dumbass, the guy in the car. No, it's not gonna change anything, which is very sad. But it is hardcore.

Starting point is 00:55:10 It's hardcore. The funniest thing to me, not to be a gay cuck, but the funniest thing to me was the amount of grouper accounts who are like, we actually need to really care about mental health. And I'm like, you guys are retweeting LMAO at the New Zealand Christ Church shooting.

Starting point is 00:55:23 Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It was just uh, that was crazy I mean good for him, but I don't like seeing 25 year olds kill themselves Devon and video That's why you're a fucking racist. It's locked up. I'm a little fucked up. You know, have you seen the Christchurch shooting? Yeah, or no, but I know what you're talking the one The one where he says, uh, subscribe to PewDiePie and then he goes in that mosque and he kills like 50 people. And it looks, yeah, it looks like a gasp or no film. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy to watch because it looks like a video game.

Starting point is 00:55:54 It does. Yeah. He played Call of Duty in real life. GoPro's make everything look like a video. And I thought he was snowboarding through the church. I was like, is this Sean White? You're like, oh, dude, I love this. I love this golden eye level. Oh my god go-pros commercials are fucking insane now They use it for an ad holy shit

Starting point is 00:56:15 Yeah, I didn't see it, but I did watch Ben watch it and it was like watching an iPad baby play Candy Crush I Watched Ben like it is PJs with a big iPad and I just hear, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo and Ben just going, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey. So fucked up, I. Getting like the screen smudgy with peanut butter.

Starting point is 00:56:38 I think I had just got sober. Yeah you did. I was like handy here when you see it. I actually do remember this. I remember you texting us about that and I was like Ben hand it here. Let me see it. I actually do remember this. I remember you texting us about that. And I was like, Ben, dude, just start drinking again. Dude, I'm not kidding. It's fucked up, man.

Starting point is 00:56:51 I secretly took a video of you watching that, and then it was so weird I deleted it off my phone. Yeah, because it would be used in court someday. You fucking psycho, Ben. That's my photo with Steven Paddock's eyes closed, like a my name is Zerol snapshot. That's my picture. It was like I walked in on you in Joker makeup

Starting point is 00:57:13 in the garage, doing speeches into a mirror. I mean, we've already talked about horse rape and stuff, we might as well. Can I show you guys the life of Poe? What is this? Poe is a young prostitute who often faces difficulty in her life She was adopted after her mother died and her father gave her a weight. Oh, this is so this is teletubbies again Yeah, but they're growing up. So it's like remember when Rugrats grow up

Starting point is 00:57:35 I love how you could you could pitch this as a reboot to HBO and they'd be like interesting Suppose a child prostitute interesting. It's gritty. We love that. I love it. The chapters are short and sweet. The intro is, I had to get away from these motherfuckers. So much for family. Family don't rape each other. Tinky Winky dragged me into the closet

Starting point is 00:57:57 and threw me against the wall. I felt his penis rubbing against the side of my leg. He raped me hard and fast. I felt dirty. Why is she talking like Sam Spade? Why is she a gum shoe detective? He placed his used burst condom in my mouth. I tasted his sperm.

Starting point is 00:58:14 He said, here's the looking at you, kid. But this is my favorite line. Of all the baby sons in all the green valleys with all the goop, I had to rape you in my head. Of all the babies are us in this town, I had to meet you in this one. The closing- Rape it, rape it again, Sam.

Starting point is 00:58:30 Rape tinky-weekey for me. The closing line of this is great. I tasted his sperm. Then he pissed on my face and said, our of our motherfucker then left the room. Our of our? And then I love chapter one is called the blood of an ass. Yeah, that's my favorite chapter blood of an ass chapter one blood of an Ass I heard soft murmurs coming from the bed chambers. Hello my voice frail and weak

Starting point is 00:58:53 I walked in with every step I took it felt like stepping on 1000 use condoms soaked in spray You know who says the written word is dead Wow who says no says no no no Jason's from 2013. This was a different time Oh, okay. Well this person imagine this person with an iPhone this person is pulling their own teeth out and shoving them up their penis They've gone to levels of psycho massage That would make Pinhead from the Hellraiser universe kill himself. It's crazy to name a chapter, Blood of an Ass. Blood of an Ass is so, yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:29 It's like a Chinese person tried to sex. They send blood of an ass. Oh yeah, this one's great. I saw Dipsy mounted on the bed with a red dildo so far up his ass. I swear I could see it coming out of his mouth. Well, that's not practical. That couldn't happen. And then what's funny is it actually turns racist at the end. Those pussy mother fuckers, chapter four.

Starting point is 00:59:51 These are titled like a Tarantino film. Yeah, it is. Now this person really, like is, they really give a shit about their work. Yeah. You can tell. Chapter three is Vajazzle Heaven. I was in my local salon having a Vajazzle. I peered down into my forbidden jungle,

Starting point is 01:00:08 which I think is the pussy. Yeah, is a Vajazzle, that's where you get diamonds, like put on your pussy or whatever? I don't know. I think it's saying that it's the vagina. The vagina, the jungle, is she in shame? They create worlds, Chase, where the pussies of the Teletubbies are called Vajazzles.

Starting point is 01:00:24 It's a big bush. Hmm, yeah. Interesting. You look over, I look like Orson Welles. Having a nice brain, I go, hmm, hmm. It evokes childhood, I love it. I never cared for the life of Poe. I never cared for the life of Poe.

Starting point is 01:00:42 What's the user name? Zoe Henson. Zoe Henson? Yeah, Zo Henson? Yeah, Zo Henson supported McCarthyism, fuck him. And the life of Poe was pedantic and childish. It's so funny, because you could just see the sparkly sexual gems. I looked at what patterned my Mexican beautician bitch made.

Starting point is 01:00:59 It was in the shape of a dick, that twat. I got up with everything hanging out and kicked her in the face. I'll shoot you bitch bitch, if my gun license comes back by Jesus. And it says, yeah, all right, bitch. She replied in a strong Mexican accent. So like it gets racist.

Starting point is 01:01:14 You don't think it could get any, like you can't stomach this at all. I skipped almost all the details by the way to get to chapter three. If I was walking in school and I had this in my backpack and it fell out, I would go to a mirror and slide. I'd push my head through it and slice my neck open. But anyway.

Starting point is 01:01:32 Wow. Didn't know Brett Gellman was into that type of stuff. Anyway, so that's a little sample of Brett Gellman's book. That was, it was sent to me by my agent. He just wanted me to read it on the show. So it looks like great stuff. I can't wait to get my copy. Yeah, great stuff, Brett.

Starting point is 01:01:48 Even though he died. And we all know Tinky Winky's a standard for Palestinian children. Yeah, I already have the book. Every page is just a new dead baby. And a drawing of a thumbs up. Yeah, he wanted to make the book 40,000 pages. Very good. Very good.

Starting point is 01:02:06 Very good, Devin. It's just for tributes. Yeah, it's an in memoriam. I would love to know the most, what are you doing over there? Yeah, what is with you? I have to produce the show. You guys have the luxury of sitting here.

Starting point is 01:02:20 You're like a sultry, mic cord stripper. You keep going through these weird dances. Mm-hmm. You all right? No, go on. I'm trying to produce this show here. Okay, sorry. Be funny now.

Starting point is 01:02:34 Ha ha ha ha ha! I was just gonna say, I would like to know the most famous person who's gone into this type of erotica. In my head. It's all women. I'll tell you why. Why?

Starting point is 01:02:47 Women, they get off to the written word. Women really don't actually, this is a secret amongst women that they don't tell us. They jack off to words. Yes. They read poetry about like getting fucked and they all masturbate to this shit. It's a feminine thing.

Starting point is 01:03:04 That's why all the erotic fan fiction, it's all gay and bi stuff. Cause it's feminine dudes that read this and jack off to it thinking about like fucking their best friend. That's my favorite thing is like, I always heard like, like women be like, oh, I read a lot of romance novels. And when I was a kid, I was like, oh, it's like, you know,

Starting point is 01:03:19 like weathering heights to like a love story. It's just like pornography. That's like me saying like, oh, I watch a lot of cinema and then I'm just at home like beating off to like porn, you know? I'm watching like the best of me at Khalifa. It's cinema, yeah right? I'm a bit of a cinephile.

Starting point is 01:03:33 I'm on the criteria in collection tonight. I was watching that video where me, Khalifa wore the hijab and sucked that guy's dick under the table, I'm a cinephile. Women are, they have filthy minds. All day, when you see a woman at a coffee shop reading some book that it looks like she got at an airport, it's just a woman with every hole filled.

Starting point is 01:03:54 Every chapter is a different hole. That's all that's going on, I promise you. No woman has ever read a book that isn't pornography. I'll tell you that right now. You know what's crazy? And people are fucking, they're dying of cancer in the book. They're getting like raped, they're getting murdered, they're getting like cut up.

Starting point is 01:04:09 There's like missing children and like everybody's fucking. It's basically erotic fan, it's no different from this shit. And that's just a book you can buy at an airport. And it has like a little butterfly on it. It's called Three Stuffed Holes. Yeah. It has like a little butterfly on it. It's called three stuffed holes It's like a holographic butterfly, yeah three stuffed and they read it out of a Madeleine and Dallas at the airport You know, this is by Agatha Harris, yeah, this is by Agatha Pispy

Starting point is 01:04:43 You have to have a you have have to be, with female writers, you have to have a fucked up first name of like a lady who doesn't get fucked. It has to be like an Agatha Virginia. Women that nobody. Joyce Carol Oates. What an ugly bitch. It sounds like literally a horse,

Starting point is 01:05:01 sounds like a horse woman. She kind of looks like a horse woman. I hate that bitch. Yeah. She stinks. She stinks, like a horse woman. I hate that bitch. Yeah. She stinks. She stinks, she sucks on Twitter. I hate her. I don't like anyone, last name Oates.

Starting point is 01:05:10 Gross. By the way, if you wrote 81 books in your lifetime, guess what? You wrote 81 bad books. Yeah, exactly. If you didn't take your time. I don't care about your books, Jane Granola. And I don't wanna fuck you either, you fucking weirdo.

Starting point is 01:05:24 Body parts put together with peanut butter. You know, she is big on Twitter. I would love if we got a feud with Joyce Carol. Oh, she's brilliant though, isn't she? No, no, no, I hate her. She, I hate her. I hate her a lot. She makes me so mad.

Starting point is 01:05:39 I want to send her like photos of my dick. Like I want to DM her things that would like give her a heart attack and kill her. I like that. Okay, but I feel like I see her on Twitter all the time like going viral because she's a stupid bitch. She gives it up to somebody and then they go, oh my God, I wasn't expecting the great Joyce Carroll Oats

Starting point is 01:05:56 to like my stuff. Yeah, she'll tweet like, oh, I love PewDiePie. And then he'll be like, oh my God, thank you Joyce Carroll Oats. She'll be like out of nowhere. She's late to the party, but she'll be like, oh my God, thank you, Joyce Carol Lowe. She'll be like out of nowhere. She's late to the party, but she'll be like, oh my God, like I just, I feel like Toy Story's brilliant. And then like the creator of Toy Story will be like, oh, thank you, Joyce Carol Lowe.

Starting point is 01:06:12 So I can die happy now. She's a narcissist. If you regard her as a taste maker, you have, you've out-sort all of your thoughts. I don't read, especially not women, right? Okay. Okay, babe. Okay, babe. Okay, babe. Okay, babe. Okay, babe. Yeah Travis Kelsey blocked that guy worse than you know the UN blocked Africa and the

Starting point is 01:06:36 Mepisa chords, okay, babe. Okay, babe Yeah, I don't know she is is she? What's she write? She wrote the hairs. She wrote like my dry pussy. She's a female writer in her. She's not like Flannery O'Connor or like Marilyn Robinson, so who cares? Are those the only two good ones?

Starting point is 01:06:57 That's like kinda, yeah. Flannery O'Connor is pretty cool. She was a weird Southern bitch and she just wrote about people getting raped and murdered. That's cool. She was a Georgian retard who her accent was so thick, people couldn't understand a single word she was saying, so she had to write down.

Starting point is 01:07:11 She had to write books because she was so retarded. She was a best part of chicken. She was a best part of chicken. Best part of chicken. That was her famous short story, best part of chicken. Which by the way, my wife has made a new rule in the house, which there's almost no rules. No more big gun drain in the house.

Starting point is 01:07:26 I'm not allowed to, cause I walk around the house all day and I go, mm-hmm, bet-bot-ing. Which I think I have it kinda down for. It's pretty good. Bet-bot-ing. Yeah, you're like Daniel Gay-Lewis over here. Beautiful.

Starting point is 01:07:38 Bet-bot-ing. Bet-bot-ing. It's chimpkin. Which is so funny, I'm like, That part of Chimpkin. Does he think it's a monkey that he's eating? I don't know what he thinks dude is. That part of Chimpkin. Chimpkin.

Starting point is 01:07:53 Chimpkin. That's so funny. That part of Chimpkin. That's Popkin. That part of Chimpkin. Chimpkin. He's by the way, I don't know if you've been watching him lately.

Starting point is 01:08:04 No. He's somehow gained weight. Where you't know if you've been watching him lately. No. He's somehow gained weight. Where you look at him now and you go, holy shit. It is right with those guys getting weight, you just like, you're like, squitter, you're like, dang it. You go, oh, big country, let himself go. I think I know, right?

Starting point is 01:08:18 I think I'm killing these people because he's been getting more views since we talked about him. And these people never find out what anything is. So they don't know. Apparently some fruit talked about us. Apparently a lemon was talking about us. Apparently a bunch of fruit had a big celebrate.

Starting point is 01:08:35 Do you believe? There was a fruit you believed they were talking about us. Apparently lemon and pie was talking about us. They talk to food, that's how fat they are. Like, I love Lemma Rainpah. I ate him the other day. We had a beautiful conversation. Then I ate his ass right up.

Starting point is 01:08:55 I'll show you. He eats a Lemma Rainpah and spits the lemon part out. What's your guys' name again? Big, I don't know, Big Country. Living with Big Country? I don't know, living with Big Country? Shit. I don't know, man.

Starting point is 01:09:11 I haven't gone to it since we did an episode. Yeah, I don't know. I don't go home. Yeah, yeah. I leave the freak show and go home. Keeping it real with Big Country. He's so retarded, his channel name is Keeping It Real With Big Country, 7895.

Starting point is 01:09:24 That's probably the pin on his bank account. I swear to God Hardy's cinnamon roll. Oh, he did get fatter God man is he he's getting so fat that his beard is separating like pangea His beard's breaking apart. It looks like an aerial like a like when you're on a plane and you see just the different. Tribuaries, tributaries. Little veins snaking through America, that's his face. Bit of raw chicken. Bit of raw right now. Now, Doctor said I can't eat dyes no more,

Starting point is 01:10:03 so I'm on a bit of a diet. I can't eat. Some people should so I'm on a bit of a diet He goes to play blackjack at casino so he can eat He goes, um, excuse me ma'am ma' can I get some soft for these chips, yo? He thinks they're little chips. Nah, they gave me a bunch of chips. He's like, no, no dip. He's like, I had a bad day. I won 400 chips, but I ate 600, so.

Starting point is 01:10:34 I don't like to grow facial hair under my chin because I have a great chin He was a these are sunglasses as far down I can put them on my face Apparently these zero sweeteners that they use they make you hungrier if you use them It's all a trick. Well, that's why they use it food. They use it so they can eat more. It's like a yeah, that's Gatorade for them They use it so they can eat more. It's like a, that's Gatorade for them. Dammit, they're getting too big to fit in the shot. What is he eating? It's ruining my experience.

Starting point is 01:11:11 He got a hearty cinnamon roll. Oh, got it. Oh, it's like goodness, Dom. What? What? What? Ah! Ah!

Starting point is 01:11:22 Oh, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boomer my water. Boomer my water. Oh my god. Here we go. Over time. Nothing new. But that didn't happen.

Starting point is 01:11:34 I have no idea what he's ever said. How do these two people have sex? What that in now? Oh. Man, it's like watching a larva eat. Oh, good. Good's like watching a larva eat You're not that sweet calamari That's that that rocket was the calamari down

Starting point is 01:12:03 And it's only good goodness it I mean she literally she looks like him now. Yeah They're like going under they're like under disguise as each other Do you mean you're right he's so fed his neck grew over the top of his shirt. Yeah His neck is like a wedding ring on a fat guy like he can can't take it all. He can't take the shirt off. It's a cut his shirt. And get them sewn back on to him. And then I show my shirt back on to me. I got to go to work.

Starting point is 01:12:33 I got to go work at the Chimkin Factory. Hmm. I work at the Chimkin Factory. Red Park. They. I work at the Chimkin Factory. They have me rape all the Chimkins. That's how they kill the factory. They have me rape all the Chimpkins. That's how they kill the Chimpkins there. They kill them, I rape the Chimpkins to death. It's the slaughterhouse where he rapes the livestock

Starting point is 01:12:53 and kills them. He goes, there's the kill floor and then there's the rape floor. I work on the rape floor and I rape all the Chimpkins. I'm not the judge of Blood Meridian, but unto the livestock where I come in and I just, you know, I just kill everybody. Yeah, he says that. he reads blood meridian. My favorite book blood meridian.

Starting point is 01:13:09 It's my favorite. That book tastes great. He absorbs knowledge by eating books. He goes yeah that George Carol Oaks just retreated about it. She said what brilliant. Yeah I ordered the Franneryery O'Connor McDonald's the other day. It's sweet sweet. Oh sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet bring the extra soda with me. He brought an extra soda with him, like a gas canister. He looked in the backseat to see if he remembered to pack an extra soda. Bring that extra soda. I could see him pulling the extra soda out like he's an assassin with a guitar case. Like I'm clicking, pulling out a big so he assembles a two liter

Starting point is 01:14:01 as a as a silencer on it. Yeah, I hope he you know, I hope he turns it around and gets his help. Yeah, I hope he turns it around. I hope he dies. I hope he dies to death. Damn, this episode might have to be the bonus one. No, don't be a pussy, dude. Okay, I won't. Patreon.com slash Limit Party.

Starting point is 01:14:27 Devon at Hate Watch Pod. Yes. It's how drawings by Jace. We do live streams every two weeks. Yes. Every other week on Limit Party Clips channel. So subscribe to that every 4 p.m. Wednesday. That's every two weeks.

Starting point is 01:14:40 Go to the Patreon. We have great live episodes on there too. One with Shane Gillis. Lot of fun stuff on there. Like 70 or 80 episodes great live episodes on there too. One with Shane Gillis, a lot of fun stuff on there, like 70 or 80 episodes we have going on there now. Jace, I think we have nothing. We're gonna be announcing new live dates soon on the East Coast. Yeah, eventually, yeah. In May, it looks like.

Starting point is 01:14:58 So look out for those at lemonparty.live. And see you guys next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican poet Night time would find me in loses Cantina Music would play and fallita would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of fallita Wicked and evil while casting a spell I love was deep for this Mexican way I was in love but in vain I could tell

Starting point is 01:16:06 One night or two

lemonparty - 071: All the Pretty Horsies

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