lemonparty - 074: Air Bud Light

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty live dates: https://www.lemonparty.life/livedates ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The I'm on that hype beam, always in my face. Talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of me. The keto bread shit is, unless it's like... Yeah, we're rolling. I shoulda known, I had two keto tortillas earlier today, and I'm like, what is this weird feeling where I feel like I ate insulation or something? It's just stuck in me.

Is that human skin? Dude, it won't move. I swear to God, I was looking up, I was trying to go low carb for a while, I looked up no carb tortillas, and I was like, oh, this has like 20 grams of fiber. That's fucking kicks ass. I looked it up, it's literally wood chips, wood shavings.

Are you serious? That they mush into, it's insoluble fiber, so it passes right through your body, but they're feeding you wood in a tortilla. I've felt nauseous all day since I ate it. It's very, very disgusting. You're better off eating the tortillas that are made out of beans or whatever the fuck. Yeah, you're better off doing that classic keto move

of just eating the cheese off the top of a pizza than those tortillas. You're better off just like grilling cheese and turning that into a tortilla. Yeah, doing the cheese taco, like cheese with turkey inside of it, and you're like, I'm healthy, you know? Oh my god.

Yeah, but yeah. Well, your heart looks like a collapsed tunnel under a river. Oh man. But yeah, I got in this fight with this lady last night, little bit. Over what? I kind of woke fight with this lady last night, little bit. What, over what? I kinda woke up with like, not anxiety,

but I was just like, that was interesting. Well we were, we had to record Hate Watch last night just cause Joey's going out in town and shit, and then we got the live show. And so afterwards we went to a bar and then ran into Jack Robachod from Dead Kevin. Yeah, I love Jack Robachaud from Dead Kevin. The great Jack Robichaud.

Jack's great. Who I love tremendously. It was really funny because we were there because Greg Santos, another guy that I love, everyone's such an alcoholic that he had a birthday party for his dog at a bar. You guys are getting hammered. It was just an excuse for everyone to show up

and get fucked up while this pit bull just sat in the corner. You're like, well, I have to do these lines of cocaine. It's Rusty's birthday. I'm not kidding, dude. You're making the dog chop up lines. I was at the gym with Joey and Connor earlier earlier that day, and Connor was like, you know, Greg Santos

is having a birthday party for Bo the dog. Oh, man. And at 33 taps, like we could go and we were like, no know, Greg Santos is having a birthday party for Bo the dog. Oh man. And at 33 taps, like we could go, and we were like, no, no. And then Joey was kind of like, what time's the dog's party? And you guys walk in, you're like, Rusty! Oh my God, look at you! It literally was just a dog in the corner

with a party hat on, and then a bunch of hammered adults. Yeah, it does, clearly does not want to be there. It doesn't care. It's around people screaming and petting it way too hard. Oh yeah, when Joey gets drug too, he just really needs dogs to show that they love him. So he was just standing there the whole time like, come on, come on, you like me.

But he's scaring the dog. And the dog's just like, the dog is acting like it was, you know, like it's Michael Vick. But, so then later on we went to some other place and I don't even know if this person was a part of the initial party, but like, I was telling some guy good, like Middle Eastern places to go to, restaurants in LA,

and then his girlfriend just like walked in out of nowhere and had like Had the nose piercing thing, you know, like the septum piercing so I was immediately like interesting yeah, and then she started telling me like a bunch of like places to go to get like Filipino food and whatnot and then one thing led to another and then she goes like what do you somebody said I do a podcast and and then She was like, what is it about? Kind of like sassy. But I was like, OK, and then we exchanged like Instagram info. And you know, it's really uncomfortable when people like look at your Instagram in front of you. Oh, she was surfing through it. Yeah.

And then she looks and she goes, oh, Shane Gillis and like rolled her eyes and I was like, whoa! I go, what was that? I go, what was that? This is what I love about you, cause you will not let a slight bit slide. Connor came in too, like an attack dog. Connor was like, that's predictable.

You're being predictable right now. Devin turned into the pit bull having a birthday. Devin is like Nick Saban for women not liking stuff. You throw your hat down, you go, God damn it. Well, okay, here's the thing. Right before that even happened, she goes, I was like, don't look into my podcast. So did she see that Shayne was on the live Lemon Party?

Yeah, but right before that, real quick, she goes, you do a podcast, what's it about? And I was like, it's called Hate Watch. And I literally don't even bring up lemon party because lemon party to me is like Mm-hmm. It might as well be like put a Klan hood on You have a decoy podcast to hide your race Watch cuz it's Not even check it out I don't know

I just don't say lemon party cuz this person was like literally the type of like person that will ruin our lives in like five years Yeah, she'll fuck you just so she can meet to you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly this person was literally the type of person that will ruin our lives in five years. She'll fuck you just so she can meet two of you later. Yeah, exactly. A walking bear trap in a pussy. She goes, why don't you want me to listen to it? Is it misogynistic? And I was like, I mean, yeah.

I said, yeah. And then I go, but it's all the is-tics. I go, it's all the phobias, it's everything. It's like we're a melting pot of pain. Don't worry, we shit on everybody, except white men, they're cool. So then she's scrolling my Instagram and sees one of the recent things,

and she sees Shane, and she just immediately goes, oh, Shane Gillis, and rolls her eyes. And I was like, I just called her out on it, and then she started gaslighting me and just pretending that it had nothing to do with what she's, like, the past, or what happened with Shane, and that she just doesn't like his jokes.

And I was like, well, okay. So you called her out, she immediately folded. She said it was this caliber of comedy, not the substance. She goes, it's just not, I don't think, and I'm like, first off, here's why I was like, it's insulting just because, like, he's so famous now, honestly,

that if somebody was like, I have a podcast, and then you check it out and you go, oh look, like, it's like, Two Chains is on it. You wouldn't go, oh, Two Chains sucks. You go, that's cool that you even did something with that person. You know what I'm saying? She shouldn't like the podcast, because it's funny and she's a woman.

It doesn't mesh right at all. But it's it's rude to just like throw that out for like if she was like, oh, yeah, I do, you know, a typical woman's podcast where, you know, it's me and somebody else who isn't funny. We talk about all the times, you know, the gross guys we fucked and it's actually their fault that we fucked and not mine because I don't have agency. You want to go like, oh, that fucking sucks and is stupid. Exactly, so I was really just kind of trying to hold her honest.

I was like, just admit you don't like him because you have to not like him. It's a political thing, realistically. Don't pretend like you're studying his jokes. I was like, because I said there's objectively hilarious jokes he has. I don't care if you don't like a few or whatever. If you watched his specials, he's objectively funny.

And then because then she was like, well, what comedians do you like? And I was like, do you like Louis CK? And then she pretended, oh, yeah, like I love Louis. I don't have a problem. I'm like, well, OK, Shane's never done anything. Right. And you're but I know this is coming from just you have to say. She's lying. Because, you know, in I know this is coming from just, you have to say this and feel this. Because you know in 2018 she tweeted Louis Hau with a big target scope over the top of it.

So then it got like. She's trying to have a point of contention within the argument now. Right, so now she has to let go of the point. She's like, I love Patrice, I love, you know. I love Roman Polanski. I love the best of Patrice shitting on Asian women, part seven.

I love the Menendez brothers. Exactly. It was one of those things where I was like, I wasn't trying to be like, oh, I'm trying to defend Shane, because nobody says he's not funny. It was more so, I just immediately was like, you're full of shit.

And also it was insulting. You immediately rolled your eyes at my Instagram. It's not proper decor. It was just rude. Yes. I mean, her tail is the septum piercing. It is what it is. I know, I really should've.

She's marked herself for us. I don't even know what I was doing. The septum piercing is like a rattlesnake tail for people who are trying to have fun. Oh, okay. You walk into a bar, you go, whoa, whoa, boys. Okay. So what became of this stupid bitch?

So then. This dumb whore. Connor and I were involved in it, and then in the midst of it. Can I ask you real quick, was her boyfriend chiming in at all, or did he kinda back away? Here's when I felt bad, it got to the point where I guess I wasn't letting it go,

that her boyfriend got involved and broke us up. And I was like, oh, now it's a thing. Now you're making it look like I'm fighting a woman. Did he get the hands in? He was like, guys, it's okay. He almost did the hands, I was about to hit her. Right, it's a frat party and you guys are arguing, like, bro, chill.

He's a good dude, chill. And I just kept saying, I just don't think your initial feeling was authentic on that. I don't buy that. I never said, it was honestly just rude to do in front of me. You could not like the guy, but be like, oh okay, cool. At least it solidifies something, you know what I mean?

But it was weird, and then... Because I do the same thing. Yeah, I kind of went into, I didn't mean to, I don't know, I'm just always worried I'll be charged with something. Oh, you will. For talking. You will.

Someday it will happen. And by the way, we're at a famous gay bar too or something. Oh my god. I'm always in the worst environments. Devin needs a lawyer to go to the bar. Devin needs legal representation to go get a beer at his local diet bar. Not even an honest lawyer, he needs a manipulative southern lawyer. to go get a beer at his local, at his local dive bar.

Not even an honest lawyer, he needs a manipulative southern lawyer. He needs the whale in The Towers of the Flower Moon. Yes, yes. He needs witnesses, he needs an old fuckin' 1930s lawyer. Guy with a bow tie who goes, your honor, this woman is a bitch. It was, I wasn't being that crazy,

but it was, I woke up today and I was like, I gave that lady what she wants because now she's like, don't say you don't think Shane Gillis is funny around white guys. Oh, she's, she's going to be telling that story in the year. I gave her the ammo for the rest of her life. Yeah. And even though I wasn't being crazy, I was simply just like like picking her brain and being like, where'd that come from? Well, you're also, you're matching her energy

because she's trying to give you like a shitty backhand. I go, you're a little cunty, I'll be a little cunty. You went Larry David on her. It did a little bit. Yeah. This is why they love engaging in warfare is because they usually win, actually. They win, even when they lose, they still win.

There's no winning. Yeah. No, no, no, they're very, very good at it. Yeah. They actually usually only lose if they wrestle victory from the, or defeat from the jaws of victory. Mm-hmm. Like Megan Anram will cancel herself by posting tweets that she thinks are bad or whatever.

Like liberals will post their own dirt and then get taken. Yeah. Yeah, because they're masochistic. Yeah, yeah, women are so destructive that if there's nobody around them, they will eat their own bodies, like cancer. Did you fuck her? No, she was a big lady. Oh, she was big with a septum?

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, I'm really worried she'll listen to this now, though. I hope she does. Ah! She probably hates Shane because she's like, I'm really worried she'll listen to this now though. I hope she does. She probably hates Shane because she's like, I'm the bull, that's my thing. I'm a big fat hog with a septum piercing. I'm the dogs. I'm the lady who looks like she has Down syndrome.

Yeah, the septum piercing was a shower ring. It was so funny because I was having such a, I was having such a positive conversation with her boyfriend, I didn't even know he was with somebody and then she came in and then I was like in a fight. Yeah. What are you gonna do?

I would have loved to be there to hover over her and just breathe very, like have like asthma or something. Yeah. Just kind of hover over and go like, yeah. We should have done that. You should have been there to do that. Both hands in your pockets, kind of moving them around a little bit. Let my eyes sort of wander. Sure. Around the room as if I have I'm not in control of my own will. You should have been there just making like the cut your throat sign in the distance.

Right. When I go out now, I carry my knife with me around my neck I knew that I made in a Smithy shop you you look over at her like the the Tom size more seen in heat when they're Bob's big boy you slams the guys out and you just like look over Anybody anybody a feminist in here Man, yeah I just I just I also I mean Anybody a feminist in here? Oh man. Yeah, I think I also did that even before the shame thing came up when she was like, what is it, misogynistic?

And I wanted to be like, bitch, you're not the only people we hate. Yeah. How dare you? You're just number one. We are equal opportunity haters. Right. You think you're special?

You are two of the categories in one person. Just because you're illogical and don't take accountability for anything. You think we just focus on you nonstop? No. But this is also why we hate you, because of what you're doing right now in this moment. Exactly.

It's not like we hate you and then you act like this. We hate you because you act like this. You fucking suck, you're the fun police. Yeah. Just driving through neighborhoods, hey, is anybody having fun over there? Are they? Okay, I'm gonna put a stop to that real quick.

She was also, but the thing that I didn't like was I was like, you're trying to gaslight me into just being like, I just not my, I don't like the comedy. And I'm like, no, you can't, he's had too many things happen. Like, I don't trust anybody really. I respect the lie because I would lie like that.

Yeah. On a very sophisticated, like 40-line wall. I respect the move. And I've done it many times. I've done it in I would lie like that. Yeah. On a very sophisticated, 40-line wall. I respect the move. And I've done it many times. I've done it in front of Devin before. Famously at an open mic when we were called out. But, oh that's right. Yeah.

That's right, that lady went up and she goes, I feel like Jace and Devin hate me. And we were both like, no, we love you. No, you didn't even say anything. She was like, I feel like Devin hates me. And you just stared at her. You stared at her like full metal dragon through the top of your eyes.

And she goes, and I know Jace definitely hates me. And I go, well that's not true at all. And like, you know, 30 minutes before I was like, she's a bitch, I hope she dies. Yeah, that was the Squidward lady. Yeah. Yeah. We have the talking code.

Yeah, she was up there playing her clarinet. We have like Navajo code for open micers. They're like, no, no, we love you. You're like really rude all the time and show no emotion. Of course we love you. You're a ball of fun. Yeah, no, we have a fun conversation. You walk in the middle of it, just like throw sand in everybody's face. Yeah, we love how you treat us like snails in your salt. You're great. Yeah, you look like you have fungus all over you.

It's fantastic. Mm hmm. You know? Yeah, I would. I think I would have challenged that lady to a duel. Yeah. I don't like my that I am, unfortunately, like a good person because I kept even though I didn't do anything just because I get. I don't know. You guys heard me when I'm arguing. Everything sounds so pointed. Oh, yeah.

And they're not expecting that. They were just expecting just some whatever, push over. Just, oh, I'm not going to get into it. Hey, I never believe in the whole to each their own. I go, no, no, no, no. You're going to fucking do what I believe. The problem is I think they think you're white going in, and you need a shirt that says 70 70% Syrian across the front of it.

I should have said, listen, I was just talking to your fucking boyfriend about sand fucking rag head food, okay? So you better fucking watch what you say to me. My grandfather was a locust, okay? Right? All right. Listen, listen bitch.

Yeah, because you're at the same token, you're not like, you know, I've been in countless conversations with women when they're like, oh, I'm getting a decent bitch. Yeah, because you're at the same token. You're not like, you know, I've been in countless conversations with women when they're like, oh, I'm getting really into knitting. And then they're showing you like, you know, a fucking beanie with a butterfly on it they made. And I'm not like, oh, no, that's great.

No, every dumb bitch shows me stuff like that. You know, you're just like, oh, that's great. I love that for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're a decent person. Right, yeah. So then afterwards, she then sat with other people and I had the thought to apologize again,

even though I already did, but I'm like, what do I do? I don't know, when I get drunk, I'll tell people I think that suck ass, that they're amazing, I just get nervous, and I'm like, you're the greatest comic of all time, we all talk, we all love you. Somebody that we tell, like we always talk about and say they fuck.

I know you will do that either way. If they're nice and cordial, you'll be like, oh you're great, I love you, you know, whatever, it's nice to meet you. You won't say I love you, but you'll be like nice to meet you. Yeah. I would love for you to be cordial to somebody, then they shit on you and then you go completely wanting.

Immediately turn. It will happen. I don't know, I just, cause I don't, I'm not I don't want to be like a bad guy In person it's for this room. You know yeah No, we're like I think we're like I think we're like benevolent like nice people. Yeah, I think we're like very cruel We're cruel because we hate ourselves so much Yeah, we like shake hands with people go go, hey, man, great to see. And then we go here and we make a doll of them and we chop the dolls head off.

Can I ask you something, though, because you're very like you're very like disagreeable with people in those situations. I guess you care more about people than I do, because I guess I think so little of the woman with the The big lady with the the bone through her nose. Mm-hmm. I view her as she ate already and put it through It was it was a piece of a buffalo wing flap. She put it through I honestly have more respect for dairy cows when I'm driving down like a county road in Texas Yeah, yeah, like I'd be more sad if a cow got struck by a car than her.

Here's the thing though, because, okay, wanna know why I engage? Because I'm trying to understand and I wanna learn, I wanna know my enemy better. And you write them off fully. See, because I just agree with, I'll agree with whatever they say and I'll be a completely different person

for the entire duration of the conversation. Right. And I have no problem with it. But that's what, here's the thing, they need, they don't expect any backlash. They don't expect any fight back. I'm willing to be the, I'll be put on the cross. I want to show people like, no, you'll have an uncomfortable night though. You can have these thoughts and think you live in this fucking bubble, but I'll fucking scream at you and you'll have to deal with that.

You are a merchant of justice in a way, but you are, you're like the punisher where you are just, but you're getting thrown in jail for it. Everybody thinks you're the evil guy. It's true. And I kind of want to push these people to the point where I'm like, but I'm a nice person. I treated you with full respect in person. So you, so you're an actually an evil person. If you're actually an evil person if you then make up something about me or write me up. I was simply having a conversation. And I got a little loud.

It'll also be like, because I've got an argument to like you and Mark before where I'll just say something like, oh, Batman's cool. And then like the next thing I know, I'm in like a full screaming match about Batman. And he's like, the 1945 comic was like good at first and then it sucked. And then I'm eventually to the point

I'm like, I I don't care at enough to like I'll just completely change what I think about reality So I don't have to do this conversation anymore. I get all that I get that I got to get better at it But I think you have gotten better. I have got a little better Yeah, but you would walk into a bar like Goldberg and just start spearing people You'd walk in and you just pointed a fat woman and just like fucking run up. Yeah Devin's words. They're like darts. Yeah, they're so It's so like shrilling and just I know they're like not everything I say sounds like it's way worse than it is Way worse people compliments. They're like, you take it easy, buddy. I know, right?

I know, I know. But, hey listen, one day I'll be dead and gone and they'll all miss it. They'll all miss it. You'll miss me when I fucking do it finally. People go like, you're really loud. Can you quiet down? I'd be like, listen, if you had this ability,

be the most unique thing about you. Okay, retard, you fucking nothing in the corner, you fucking Sims character NPC. Shut the fuck up about how loud I am. You should fucking enjoy it. You sit in the corner, you go, I can't believe a guy could reach these decibels. Cause I'm more unique than you.

I know it's annoying and I'm annoying. But why don't you shut the fuck up? You fucking, go get gelato in the Silver like junction asshole That is right the other day like yesterday I just thought about being dead and I just started laughing like really hard you imagine that if you just pictured your own grave And like being daddy you just you just go ha ha Why am I so upset about something? Yeah, I'm gonna be like I'm gonna be a

Yeah, like I sure think about it. You start like laughing like a stare I get that when we're driving here I'm like, as you're thinking about it, you start laughing like a stare. I get that when we're driving here and I just thought about an 18-year-old just running me over and being like, crush, and I was kinda like, huh, anyway. Yeah, it happens all day to me. I don't think I've ever set foot in a car

and not thought about dying. And I don't think I've ever left my house without thought thinking about dying, walking down the sidewalk thinking of a thing falling, thinking of a telephone pole falling and killing me, thinking of a car creaking off and hitting me. I think I pretty much think about dying any time I leave the house like 24 seven.

I ignore the fact that I think about it. I think it's a healthy thing to do. It keeps you honest. It did keep me alive. It's kept me alive to here, right? I mean, I haven't had to use it yet. I've never been like, oh shit. And like I dive out of the way of like,

like a mailman smoking keyboard cleaner in his fucking Borat car, which that's what I call, that's what I call mail trucks, is I call them Borat cars. Borat cars, that's a big bear in the back. Cause I have no idea what mailmen are, but I've seen Borat a bunch. Right, there's a giant, there's a grizzly bear

sorting through mail in the back of all of them. We're wrestling naked inside of it. That movie still to this day makes me wanna buy a mailman car. Yeah, that movie's so good, it makes me wanna kill the guy who wrote Borat 2, who just tweets about Israel all day.

Who wrote Borat 2? It's a thing. It's a literally a guy called like, you know, Jaime Shlomo or something like that. Borat 2 was an utter embarrassment. It's an embarrassment. It really sucks ass. Borat 2 came out like two years ago.

Came out in the pandemic. In the pandemic, yeah. And the whole movie was like, hey, what if Borat wasn't really in the movie and there was this unfunny Eastern European broad we all pretend is great, because women kick ass? Who's not funny in the movie?

It was about a lady? And what if Borat, what if we make fun of two MAGA guys that let him stay in their fucking place and are super nice to them? Very nice to him, an immigrant. But they have red hats so they should be shot. I know, the first Borat is literally him like saying the N-word, like walking around a fancy hotel.

And the second one is him walking up to right next to him and be like, have you heard of like, the way of feminism? Yeah. You can't make a movie that's like, trying to be woke with a character that the whole joke is that he fucking hates Jews and women. It made no sense.

Which are the, why we think it's funny. We know what you're literally, because he's so wrong. Yes. You're being woke. Meanwhile, your first movie is depicting non-Jewish Middle Easterners as eating their own shit and raping their mom.

Yeah. So now this guy that's always wrong, Borat should be a Trump supporter. It makes no sense. But instead you try and force this angle and now Borat's like, I like the, but what about the Biden?

Yeah, Bernie, was it too liberal? I guess that fat bitch with the tits and the nose ring, I guess she's kind of right now that I'm thinking about it. Hey, she might be black. Well, if she hates men and stuff, like. I get it. I'm trying to think of evil women and I can't think of any. Like you think of evil, I say think of an evil man.

Immediately you got like Hitler. I go think of another evil man, you're like Pol Pot. Another one, Stalin. You can just keep going, right? Yeah. I don't have. Evil women are like sleeper cells. You don't know they're evil.

They're like spies. They're just ruining a man from within. In a relationship you don't know the ins and outs of. But that's what the devil is, right? Is like you don't even know the devil's there pulling the strings. That's pure evil, right? It works in the shadows.

Women won't kill six million men at one time, but they will kill six million men individually one on one. Yeah, they'll do a Holocaust for six million. They'll do this Holocaust six million times. It's like your own personal Holocaust. When you see locusts eat an entire field, you don't go, oh, there's one Hitler locust and he made that happen.

They just, it's what they do. It is what they do, yeah, exactly. They blend in. Yes, exactly. They blend in. In America, you know, you're looking over the horizon, you see like every woman in America flying to you. You're like, oh, we're about to, we're fucked.

And why would that woman have a problem with this show Can you imagine like Stalin or Hitler something like doing a speech like Like saying like the most evil like I'm a prophet of doom and stuff and then like but he has like huge tits and a pussy Dude, that would that would get me honestly Me in the crowd I just cheer in my ass And also all the followers would be like gay too. It'd be like gay men would be like, I love Mrs. Hitler.

I love, Mrs. Hitler's so awesome. And then nothing would happen. Well, evil woman dictators wouldn't work because all of their speeches about like how we should kill everybody would like have a bunch of detract, there would be a bunch of sidebars and detractions in them. They'd be like, I was talking to Goebbels,

who, Goebbels, you know Goebbels, he's the friend of Sarah, and Sarah, remember you met Sarah at the party, and so, and they're apparently, they're doing something, they're going on vacation, by the way, we should go on vacation to that place, because we, anyway, so we were talking, we want to kill it, but, kill it, well, here's the thing.

Did you close the door? If you closed, did you? Yeah, 45 minutes later, and Stalin, he's like a good guy, but like, is he? Like, really? You're making him a chola. It's me, I'm cholo, really. A Latin, what is it called, a chuga? Yeah, I'm a chuga. It's me, I'm Cholo Illin. A Latin, what is it called, a Choca?

Yeah, I'm a Choca. I'm Latinx Hitler, I'm non-binary too. Oh, and it's called a Changa. I'm a Changa. I'm the leader of Nazi Germany and I'm a Changa. This is my bad bitch, Ava. Ava, bronze my Ruka. So he comes out, he goes, he he's like we gotta talk about the Jews

The Jews have been tagging our neighborhood Dude Mexicans would have done like the the Nazi shit like yeah real like the high and tight cut Yeah, and fucking like imagine like baggie Wallet imagine asoot Suit SS uniform. Would be pretty badass. Man, I kinda want them to like do that now. I kinda want them to like go to war with the world. You call Jonathan Glager's agent and you're like,

all right, so we got boring Hitler. What about, what about wetback Hitler? Oh, I saw a bunch of actors who are retarded are mad at that guy. They're not even real actors. Did you see, it's literally a form. You could sign up for the form. It's like, yeah.

Wanna know everybody? I count as an act, because I have an IMDB credit. It's literally a Google link. It's crazy. I'm not getting it. It's a Google link, yeah. So context for everybody, Jonathan Glazer says something anti-Israel

at the Oscars, right? He said, I condemn my my we condemn our Jewishness Being you used to to propagate this genocide. Yeah, okay And you know and what it when he made like well, it was funny like the minions He won for best sound for Jackass for Yeah He made the Minions. Yeah, he won for best sound for Jackass 4. Yeah. Going up to accept an award for Smurfs 3D. Yeah, it is funny when he made the speech, you could just hear a couple of people be like, you could hear Mark Ruffalo in the back, just gaily go like, woo. And then a bunch of evil people just be like.

It's very funny because a bunch of Jews in Hollywood wanted that movie. They thought it was brilliant. I wanted it to win best, best, best movie. Best pictures. Because zone of interest. Cause it's about the Holocaust. And then the guy went up there and did that. So he actually kind of kicks ass.

So Amy Schumer and all these people have receipts of like unbelievable movies should win best picture. They can't take it back. And now they can't take it back. Eat shit Amy Schumer, you fat dumb Long Island cunt. Oh by the way, she is. Yeah. What?

Eating shit. Bowls of it. Bowls of it. Like a nice big sundae. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Her pussy is the zone of disinterest. Very good.

Yes. Yes. Goddess. Goddess. Very good. Yes. Yes. Guidance. Kill yourself. LFG. I would love if we celebrated like MJ winning the playoffs. Bam. So it'd be the equivalent of like, you know,

like us going to a live show and being like, we love women and shit like that. Like he was preaching against his own audience. Wow. All the guys that I saw today that signed the thing support, what does it even do? Anti-Jonathan Glazer? It's like saying we as a Hollywood professional, I denounce Jonathan Glazer.

And by the way, everybody on the list, Ben, were guys that were on SNL for two years and then there's an Associated Press article where it's like, Tylon Shah Ra is leaving SNL, and you go, was he on it? I don't even remember him on the show. I thought he played for the Knicks, he was on SNL.

Huh, they're like, Jalen Brunson is leaving SNL. Ha ha ha ha. Grant Hill, the new coach of Israel. No, literally there was a couple, it's a Google link to the article because they made an article first, so like 300 Jewish people have signed up. Jennifer Jason Lee was the only famous one.

Also the guy. The lady that said the N word a lot. Yeah. In the window of faith. Exactly, yeah. Also the guy who made Hostel signed it. That was like pretty much it. So you know, flaming talents across the industry

Mm-hmm, and then they had a Google link people literally like went in and put like Papi Lapeau And and like it said Papi Lapeau, you know, yeah like director one guy literally. This was a real guy His name was like it said Horace like McGreen and then it was dash. He goes Grateful Dead cover band San Francisco Yeah, he was one of the Jewish creators counts. He was able then it was Dash. He goes, Grateful Dead cover band, San Francisco. Yeah. He was one of the Jewish creators. He counts, he was able to. It was a totally fake list. And like 300 of the signatures, they count size,

so Amy Schumer accounted for like 300 signatures. She signed it like John Hancock, but that's because of her diabetes. She can only make big circles. It's John Hamhawk. Very good. Very good. Yeah, and she has a pin made out of liquorice. She's just taking bites out of.

Yeah, and it was extremely retarded. Yeah. I didn't see, you saw his movie, right? Was it good or? It stunk. I fucking hated it. It was so fucking boring. I get it. The Holocaust was really bad. These Nazis are living their lives like nothing's happening, but literally nothing happened.

I don't watch movies about the Holocaust, never have, never will, next. Never have, never will, next. You do walk out of that movie, you're like, wait, you're telling me people do bad things and they don't realize it? Yeah. What the hell?

The whole movie was, like I said, it's just like, God, these fucking, they're gonna transfer me to a new death camp, unbelievable. And then you just hear screaming and some years, and you get it, like it could've been 10 minutes long. You hear screaming, you see burning, and then you go, right, so they lived their lives and thought they were doing nothing wrong, got it.

It's an hour and a half and literally nothing fucking happens. May I have the floor here? Sure. Because obviously it's horrible that the Holocaust happened. Thank you for finally saying that. Oh my God, it goes without saying. Wow, we just lost a lot of fans.

Only took 75 episodes, actually 150. No, no, no. I'm pushing him away and I'm gonna pull him right back. The Holocaust is also the most boring part of World War II to me. It's the least interesting part. What was the most exciting part of World War II to you? When we bombed Japan.

That aerial holocaust? When we did the holocaust. When America did holocaust. It is very funny. When we designed a new type of fish. When we created the first superhero. Well, it's very funny. People will legitimately walk out of the zone of interest

and be like, man, I'm glad we never did nothing like that. And we still don't to this day. Meanwhile, Oppenheimer's in theaters. I know. Dude, there's no movies about like the Turkish genocide and stuff. There's like 4,000 movies about the Holocaust. I didn't know there was a Turkish genocide

until you said it right now. Against the Armenians? Or maybe the Armenian genocide, I don't know. Well, yeah. Which ones got genocided? Turkey killed all the Armenians. Okay. But they're somehow, they're so annoying people,

they're just like, don't even bring it up, who cares? Yeah, they blew up one cheesecake factory and killed like 20,000 people. Like the nuclear bomb is the thing that altered humanity forever and for the end of time. Hypothetically, yeah. Yeah. Like it's the major.

Killed 78,000 people like that. And you know what's crazy is like we killed I think like 10 times more than that just in the firestorms we did over Japan. Because all their buildings are made out of paper and wood. Yeah. So we were like, oh, let's just drop fire. And we like burned, I think we like burned

like 800,000 civilians to death or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. We did that We did I think it was general MacArthur was quoted. He says if we lost the war I would be hanged for war crimes Yeah, I mean like I don't want to watch like a I don't want to watch a movie about like John McCain and like the Prisoner of war camps like I want to see guys going into Vietnam like shooting monkeys out of trees and stuff. Like that's the kind of, you wanna see CCR and the helicopters and a guy with a big MG 42. Yeah.

You wanna see John McCain getting the shit beat out of him in Vietnam. I wanna see Thin Red Line. I wanna see like Woody Harrelson jumping on a grenade. I wanna see Sean Penn like molesting a kid. But they don't really make cool, I mean there's great Vietnam movies but they don't make any that are like, hell

yeah. Like they're all about like, like a whole platoon that like smoked weed and then like, maybe I shouldn't rate families. Shit, I burned down like eight homes today. And then Tom, yeah, Tom Berenger's like, God damn pussy. Shut the hell up. That's why Schrader, Paul Schrader was right for making Rolling Thunder, because it was actually really interesting to

see people come home from Vietnam. Yeah. Because they knew at that point that Vietnam was confusing and stuff and rather than making a movie about that, make a movie about a guy who went through it and came back. Right. Yeah, right. Well that was the funny thing.

And the movie did stink and suck ass. It's a bad movie but it's made by a cool guy. And then he goes to Mexico for some reason and kills a brothel of Mexicans. It's retarded,. It's really bad No, literally every movie you watch from the 70s except like taxi driver and one other you're like man that really sucked ass I'm glad I watched that Fuck that movie

Shraders good at making those movies where you just want to see a guy by himself in his garage He has like a big rubber band and he's like pulling it out and in and he's thinking about the war Every Schrader movies is secretly about gooning really. It's just a guy alone getting really obsessed with something for no reason. Because the Schrader has stayed in the Department of Venice masturbating for 40 years. Exactly, every Schrader movie is like,

you're 45 minutes in, you're like, I'm starting to wonder if this guy is upset with humanity. Paul Schrader's like importing a Swedish pump two cans every year. He's trying to battle it through customs. He made two movies in a row that are like the same thing, just like he exchanged poker for like fucking flowers. And master. And Nazis.

He made like the Dan the Lion Nazi and then he made fucking, you know, Ace of Spades psycho. But Tiffany Haddish was great. She was a delight. Yeah, Tiffany Haddish is always a romp. She did set a record as being the first pedophile in an arthouse movie. The first black pedophile, the first pedophile to not make an arthouse movie. Yeah, exactly. Did she fucking kid?

Well, her and Ari Spears. Her and Ari Spears were like making sketches where they like forced a kid to like fucking be like in the pedophilic They were doing some Dan Schneider stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you watch that new? Little bit of it. Yeah a little bit. Yeah Schneider big fat pedophile likes to fuck kids. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean he didn't really fuck him He just wanted them to like make sketches where they like, you know fuck him, he just wanted them to make sketches where they like, you know, shampoo fell all over

Amanda Bynes' face. He just liked cream on kids, you know? And he wanted sketches to go that direction. He never fucked anybody. And listen, if we censor art, you know, where's the, where do we draw the line? Exactly. Come on, folks. Come on, Ariana Grande had to fucking hold

that cucumber in that. Right, I currently, yeah, I currently needed to be shot like she was in a Tarantino movie But I did see somebody put together like a super cut of like every creepy foot move moment and like a Nickelodeon thing There's like thousands. There's a million. Yeah, there's a million. I mean even like like Slime in itself is like a huge cum shot You know, it's all weird. I mean it seems like I don't know it seems like Amanda Bynes is doing fine these days, right? Yeah, she videos over all the time. Yeah, like eating out of a dog bowl. Yeah, she's good. She's great I saw her target. She looked like Harley Quinn. It was great

Yeah, she has the little Uzi Vert diamond put in her cheek and she's literally failing to become a nail tech I think she's taking the nail tech test She's in three times. It doesn't he's failing. Yeah, she does nails and she posts with her big Mike Tyson swollen head She's like hey guys Flunked the nail test again Gonna get him next month Binds looks like something you'd buy at spirit Halloween You walk by her and she'd be moving with her lights. She looks like Mickey Rooney's daughter. Like if he passed down having surgery.

If he passed down the surgery. That's so fucked up that she has a, have you seen Amanda Bynes? She has a teardrop tattoo now. Yes, on her cheek. She has like a teardrop. That's fucked up. What a white girl.

Represents all the times she was raped. It probably does. Like honestly, probably. She's like girl represents all the times. She was raped. Mm-hmm. It probably does like honestly probably Yeah, she's like, I'm you can call me Johnny 23 for all the times. I was raped by Dan Schneider. Let's uh, Let's sit in the empathy corner here real quick. Of course. Let's imagine you or I or Jace are molested by Dan Schneider, okay At the young age of on the end of my show. Was she like nine? Okay, mm-hmm at the young age of on the end of my show was she like nine

Make sure like maybe ten. Yeah, so he was probably molesting like eight nine ten year olds. That was his bag Bag he wasn't going younger. He was doing like four year old Austin Powers. It's his bag man I'm not sure he ever actually like was accused of physical molestation I mean there's pictures, you know, he's putting his head on them and being weird and stuff But like it was mostly just like yeah, right another sketch. What if I can you know, the pen the white pen explodes on her face Right. He's like we're locked Cal Mitchell in a coffin for five years. Yeah, keep him out of the industry It's kind of sounds to me like he's a great guy because he's a virtuous pedophile He actually is a guy who wants to fuck kids and he doesn't do it.

He's actually sort of a hero. He's denied his destiny that God put in his, or God allowed Satan to tempt this man and now he's rejected the devil's wishes and he's on the path of righteousness. And he did not skull fuck any kids in those Nickelodeon trailers. I think that's a good argument.

It goes against God and nature, but it's a good argument. My counter is I think he was such a fucking fat, ugly loser that he was an incel for kid fucking. Yeah. And I think he walked up, he was on the set of Drake and Josh was like, hey Drake, do you wanna like, we could go get like a ice cream later and tricks like? Yeah, I'd go with you, and then everybody pointed and laughed

And then he walked away like Charlie Brown well, I think Dan Schneider was a child star too well in what movie he was like In some version of Nickelodeon stuff like in the back when he was a kid, right? I think so It's like what if this is actually not a pedophile he like he gets he used to get so much pussy But now that these rumors are going around like no one will fuck him. He's like into like really hot He's like in the milfs and stuff. Yeah in the hop. He's like, I love actually I'm the opposite of a pedophile of huge pussies I love yet. She had to have had kids pedophile, I love huge pussies. She had to have had kids. I love decrepit old pussies and we're like,

oh that's worse, ah! What's wrong with you? What if he was actually like the ultimate ladies man and he was just, he couldn't get enough pussy. Yeah. And it was old pussy. What the? He had this quote in the doc where these,

all the female writers that worked on all that are like the Amanda Show, who all look like, they look like bounce houses with mops on their head. They look like Bruce Valencia's sister. They go like, well, Dan said women aren't funny, they can't write funny, so I don't really want you guys being that involved in the sketches.

Like he also, he. Okay, so he was kinda cool. But when he said that I was like, there's no way this guy's weird. I mean how could he have it? He's rational. How could he be so correct? Big Lemon Party fan Dan Schneider.

I do know they also, I don't think he was accused of, he might have been, I don't know. But I know they hired a don't think he was accused of he might have been I don't know But I know they hired a dialogue coach in Nickelodeon for like all their shows who was like a convicted Pedophile like in Ryan Peck Brian Ryan Peck fucked apparently fucked the Drake Drake Drake Bell Drake Bell not not not not not the Drake from wheelchair Jimmy. No not needed That's why it's better to be the fat kid No one fucks you no one's true and No one fuck Josh back. He got hot later Yeah, yeah, you got on Twitter today was making fun of Drake for getting like great. That's where to go

Yeah, that's where to go. Yeah And the other show I think on Disney Ned's Declassified we talked about doesn't hate watch yes They also were like damn you take it in the book but doesn't hate watch. They also were like, damn, you taking it in the butt? Yeah. Like all these white theater nerds. I know. Who are doing dunking on you.

I know, who are losers doing these podcasts where they're so desperate for views. Yeah. I've seen clips of them where they're literally like, hey, you remember on set, she was sucking everybody off and fucking them. Yeah, no. And then you go to their pockets and it has 17,000 views.

You're getting- People who are fans of Ned's Declassified Yeah, there are adults like aren't retarded, but they are and they're like That's your life when I was 14. I want to listen to a podcast of it. It's cartoons and cereal guys I've had uber drivers like that where they have a reptar on their shirt Yeah, those and they're like you you like it. Are you an adult swim guy a Cartoon Network guy or a Nickelodeon guy? Yeah, me myself. I was a Nickelodeon kid. And I'm like, you're 43, dude.

Those guys should be killed with their bongs. You should break their bongs and then slice their fucking frets. They can bleed all over their Angelica t-shirt. It does suck to get, you get, you're a victim of rape, basically, as a kid, and then band geeks are shitting on you. There's like, you have the kids in class

that wanted to be mimes that are like, you're gay. So they're like, damn Drake really got skull fucked though. Yeah, yeah, literally theater kid band geeks that are in doing a shitty podcast about their shitty show and how they all sucked each other off during it. Like yeah, like Blue from Blue's Clues is making fun of him for getting raped. He's like, poofy, poofy.

Yeah, I thought Drake went to jail. I thought that guy went to jail anyway for like. Drake Bell? Yeah, I thought he like fucked kids or something. He was accused of fucking a kid? I don't know if he got convicted. He was texting like somebody underage, but then I think he stopped when he found out the age.

Yeah, I know. But then there might be a bunch more. Who fucking knows? Yeah, who, I don't wanna get into the weeds of who raped what kid. The whole, I mean, Nickelodeon was a big tag, you're it, with pedophilia, apparently. Everyone was just like, I'm a pedophile.

Tag, you're it. It's just a domino effect. It was paintball. If we all keep getting accused of pedophilia, no one's a pedophile. How do they take us all down? None of us did the homework. You can't.

Maybe I molested Dan Schneider. How about that, you sick fuck? It's kind of like when a cop walks into a fun house looking for the guy who's running from him and he just sees a million of his faces. He doesn't know which one to shoot. It's like if nobody in America paid their taxes. They can't arrest all of us.

Dude, that's a great idea. Yeah, I know, but it's all because of these fucking law-abiding cocksuckers out there that do it. I know, these pussies. I've done it two years in a row, not paid, nobody else joined in. It's fucking annoying, dude. It was like in school.

Remember in school, everyone would be like, just don't, we didn't do the homework, so don't, just everyone say nobody did it so he can't fail the whole class, it would ruin his job. There was always like two little cocksuckers that spoke up, they'd go, I did it so he can't fail the whole class, it would ruin his job. There was always like two little cocksuckers that spoke up. They go, I did it, and then everyone failed, 30 people failed and two people passed.

Yeah, and now those people are working at like Boeing. Working at Northrop Grumman. Yeah, they're like Lockheed Martin right now. They're like, I did the homework to make Asians explode. Fucking nerds. If the majority of people are in like massive credit card debt and stuff, how are they paying taxes?

If most people have negative money, how do they pay the government? Are we actually the only people that pay taxes? A lot of people don't do it. I don't know. It sounds like a lot of people get away with it. Here's the thing, they spread dissent, they start culture wars.

They get everyone against each other. They shake up the beehive. And then they know no against each other, like they shake up the beehive, and then they know no one will come together and go, we're not paying our taxes, or we're not doing this, we're not doing that. There's guys who own their own HVAC companies like complaining about Dill Mulvaney while they file their taxes for the US government,

like Cox, frankly. Frankly, frankly. Frankly, Cox. I guess unless you thought the war that we were fighting was just, then you might want to pay your taxes. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of it, right? I guess so.

For moral reasons. Yeah. I mean, I think it's hilarious when people pretend the taxes went to the road. I don't buy, there's any structure to that whatsoever. The churches are the ones feeding people anyway. They don't pay taxes. But supposedly the churches are bad and like but we like go with getting paid against big Or whoever's I don't know who the new who the new bitches. I was more of a Scalia guy

You called us up the day he died you like man, I'm just not doing well right now You're going to the more the cell of the memorial celebration. Yeah, Trump finds out about Scalia dying goes Oh horrible day for black people that are free Did everybody Ever not there that such a sucker like there was like you see the new Supreme Court Justice Yosemite Sam He he outlawed abortion. Now no one will ever get abortions ever in the world. Meanwhile, I'm getting them left and right.

I can't stop my ass. And then the next week when they say it's gonna happen, like nothing happens, I'm like, what? Is nothing real? Yeah, the abortion thing, it's like, yeah, it's scary and shitty, but just take a little road trip, it's kind of fun. Yeah, come on. Hey, it'll be the last time you ever share The abortion thing it's like it's scary and shitty, but just take a little road trip. It's kind of fun

Hey, it'll be the last time you ever share with that little fucking thing in your belly anyway You're drinking RC Cole and feeding it beef jerky like hey, it's your last time Yeah enough you whores stop stop murdering people A fetus in a little Mickey Mouse hat just getting sucked out No, dude with women like that. They just want to stick their pussy up against that the bank thing You know when you go to the bank and you put the cylinder in the tube and it shoots up They want to stick their pussy in that's how they do abortion Is they go to the bank? have to go to the bank. You have to go to the bank.

And the Jewish guy behind the glass is just nodding. He goes, hello, I'm the president of the bank, and I run everything. He's on the other side of the tube with his mouth open. Yeah, with his mouth open. And he goes, hello, welcome to 4chan was right about everything bank. Clips guy, cut that one. Yeah

Clips guy put that on tick-tock. This is us getting mad that we put that on tick-tock so we can not be on the internet Platform yet like fuck I finally give I was like just don't make clips anymore Yeah, cuz like sometimes he'd make a clip and he'd be like we'd be like hey is that and it would be like with Sopranos was on daytime TV, everything would just. No, there would be clips. Yesterday was Tuesday. Sometimes the clip would be before the horrific jokes

that we made. It'd be like, quesadillas, quesadillas are sick, dude. All right, lemon party, check it out. We're not really mad for clips. But the listeners are like, why don't they pull the funniest stuff from the show? So we can stay on you. So, because we would go to jail.

Literally, it'd be insane. We're hiding beneath layers. We're in a bottom-out right now. Because this is 50 minutes in, no one who is gonna get mad at the show has dragged this far. No, no, no. So now we can actually say whatever we want.

My favorite is not even- Now we can say we're better than the Joe Rogan experience What if we don't win that poll is it that Everybody doesn't know joke world the great joke world made a March Madness thing. We're beating Joe Rogan right? Yeah, we were the 32 seed which honestly pretty cool. Honestly, we gotta talk to you, Joke World, about being number 32. But it's pretty cool we're beating number one seed, Joe Ruffin, right now.

Yeah, yeah. Shocking, apparently you tell jokes and people like the clips. You don't just say you shit yourself, and that's a joke. Yep, that's true, very true. Yep. But he had to watch probably 4,000 hours of footage just to get that.

Yeah. Which means he should be thrown in a home somewhere. He should be locked up for watching that many. Poor joke world train to a chair with like 80 monitors in front of him. Just like, dude, yeah. Joke world is a horrific sex offender and this is his punishment from the government. He used to watch every podcast. He's like, he's chained up. He's like, please, please don't talk about what Boston was like in the eighties, please.

I've heard it too much. Don't talk about your writing process. I've watched 19 episodes of Stiff Socks. I'm going gonna kill myself. I'm not kidding. If you walk me in a room with stiff socks and a gun, I would be, I would, dude, I make it 35 seconds. My body, I blow my brains out. I'd be dead.

My brains would be out of my skull and my body out of instinct would keep shooting at my head as the guns click They're a simple stiff body Rigor mortis is set in You see yeah, you just see my brain drip out as somebody goes like damn So you like come in your pussy damn looks like our new our guest is as hard as the socks Damn usually the porn stars kill themselves after the podcast.

That's why every porn star keeps killing themselves because they went on stiff socks. They all have strokes right after they leave. Oh. Oh, I can't wait till we run into every one of these people. Hey. No, they're great. No, I love that joke.

Yeah, yeah. No, they're great. We won. Dude, I was joking. Yeah, they're great. We won I was we're gonna win them. This is this is us in nine months, dude. I was joking. I love the show We uh We're gonna win the March Madness Bracket thing. Yeah, who cares? Let's start fights with you gives you shit. That's what I'm kind of like Yeah, it's that fights. Let's start naming names right now. Let's go after people No, no because we're gonna we're gonna win the March of Madness bracket that the great joke world has set up We're already beating number one seed Joe Rogan. Yeah, but and we're number 32 if we beat the number one

We're number one. That's how it should work. Joe should not be in the comedy podcast bracket. No, no. What are we even doing? No, yeah. He is an arena act. He's an arena comedian. He should be in the guys who hit their kids bracket. That should be his March Madness.

Guys who beat their kids in 2024. Although I gotta say, I've been throwing some weights around in the gym again for a long time. I'm kinda like starting to get back into Joe now. No, that being said, Joe Rogan did change our lives. Yeah, no, he is a great man. My health is dependent on his advice. Yeah.

Facts. Facts. Facts. Him and Duncan Trussell is always like my favorite episode every year when Duncan Trussell goes in. Yeah, I don't laugh at Rogan, I just am interested. No, if I laugh at Rogan it's because I thought of something funny I would say if I was doing this podcast.

If I laugh at Rogan it's him not understanding a really funny joke somebody just said to me. Yeah, yeah. It's literally him going like, wait so there was a chicken that crossed a road? He's like, listen man, horses don't walk into bars. Right, he's talking to Roddy DeGeneres. He's like, it seems like your wife doesn't respect you man.

It's kinda fucked up, I would talk to her. So Sam Kinison, why would they eat the flies? I don't know. Benny Engman, I don't wanna take your wife, I'm married. Doesn't make sense. You can't fly with your arms, man. That's the first joke you made. You walked right into the casino and you said that.

Pointing at Mel Brooks, he's not a 2,000 year old man. He's an 85 year old Jewish gentleman. I'm looking at the Joke World bracket right now. This is so gay. I'm looking at the the joke world bracket right now. This is so gay. I'm looking at the joke world bracket. We're on the joke world bracket. The bracket. I love that we have to go down 12 selections.

Wait, how do you get to it? Maybe comedy, comedy bracket. Oh yeah. I don't know. I'm gonna go to the channel. If you go to your Twitter, I think you retweeted it. No, I'm going to the community page. But I don't think, I couldn't find it in

Let's go I'll call these if we lose we have to keep this in the Are we still winning? How many are we up by I think we're up by like a thousand or something like that Oh my god, god bless these maniacs out there. Oh And all these podcasts are sharing it too on their page, should we share it? This is gonna do wonders for us. Yeah, we could share it.

Well let's save the sharing for next round when we really need it. Yeah, yeah. Let's save the sharing for when we're up against the Camp Gagnon. I think we are if we win we go up against Stiff Socks next. One time I was coming home from fear. Oh wait, fuck they're mad.

We've reached the point where we're playing other podcasts on the podcast. How many votes they got? How many votes does this little podcast Zox next. What time I was coming home for fear. Oh wait. Okay. Fuck, they're mad. We've reached the point where we're playing other podcasts on the podcast. How many votes they got? How many votes does this little podcast called the Joe Roe experience have? They have 2,521. Okay.

Come on, I mean it's a. Dad is. Hey! Hey! We're winning by 800! 800 baby! Woo! Let's go!

Look at that, the 32 seed. Yeah, who needs $500 million? The Cinderella kids. What time I was coming home? Oh my God. I'll give Joe a vote, just had a pity. No. Look at that the 32 seed who needs 500 million dollars My god, I'll give Joe a vote just had a pity no, it's like the president going and then voting for the other We're gonna lose by one vote. Don't do that action. Yeah, don't do that. We're gonna blame you. All right I'm going back to no country for a moment What it'd be so funny if Joe Joe's worth the 600 million dollars and he's spamming the vote on his computer It'd be so funny if Joe's worth $600 million and he's spamming the vote on his own computer. You're paying kids in the Philippines.

Yeah, calling up one of his Marines. He's like, I need some fucking Mossad guys on this right away. Fuck. Yeah. Nice. I hope we go up against, is like the Dark Horse podcast or something on there?

What the hell's that? It's one of those stupid fucking Weinstein brothers. Oh yeah, the fake the fake geniuses All those fake genius podcasts. We're the geniuses who are retarded. Yeah, wait, there's a Weinstein brother doing a podcast. I think Brett and not Harvey Weinstein No, no, not the smart talented ones. Oh, not the ones who are really good for the industry No, not the ones you pretend they're Oppenheimer.

Yeah. You know, her daughter's making the new Star Wars show. I figured that out today. Who's daughter? Harvey Weinstein's daughter is the head writer. They're cut from the same cloth. I don't trust that. Women raping Hollywood too, I've heard many stories.

Well, that's the opening scene of the new show is somebody takes a lightsaber, shoves it up a guy's pussy. Yeah, she's like, suck my clit. my clip suck my clip. I'm a Jedi fuck you It's it's a it's a Jedi grabbing a lady's neck with the force and then he just drags Yeah, she's squirting and potted plants locking the doors on men I'm she also has a fucked up pussy My message to Harvey Weinstein's daughter is I'm going on strike.

I'm not I'm never going to watch another Star Wars movie until you guys bring back General General Grievous, the worst Star Wars character ever created, but who has a bunch of lightsabers. I'm he has a yellow one, a purple one, a red one and a green one. You need to bring back General Grievous and you need to bring back more Asian and Mexican aliens. Yep, I want weird, like, George Robink is basically like a Filipino. No, he's a black guy. No, he's a minstrel show black guy.

Devin always has to leave this shit or something. I'm sorry, I'm a drunk! George Robink is always like, Misa Misa. He literally says Misa. Oh, I guess it's like saying, Yes, Sir, Masa? Yes, he literally says- Oh my god, it's a Yes, Sir, Masa? Yeah, he literally does that. Jesus! Yeah, no, yeah. Oh, you can it's like saying yes a master. Yes. He literally says oh my god. Yes. It's a yes a mess Yeah, he literally does that Jesus. Yeah. No, yeah. Oh, you can't do that. No, it's really fine No, it's extremely fucked up. I can't believe I even said it. No, I know we're gonna cook a clip that

Yes, a mess. Yes a mess. He's saying yes a mess. No, he's like good. Are you like me some master? Me so pick on master. Oh, no Yeah, no, he's literally going like, Mesa pick space cotton, master. Yeah. That's literally him. And that's why white America hated Jar Jar. Yeah, they go, hey, we don't,

on podcast only, not on TV. No, the first, I think the first prequel literally starts with two aliens who are shaped like big fishes, and they go, oh, the Jedi are coming for us. I swear to God they talk with that accent. Like all Jewishly? No, no, no, no, like fucking Japanese.

They go, oh, oh the Jedi. I kind of realized today there were two, I was at the doctor's office with the baby and then there was, I was looking getting it at getting it a vaccine Yeah, you fucking I know I got her vaccinated. Yeah, only the Hib. This was this was just we're splitting up the shots This was the Hib. We're not doing two of them. We're doing three I'm not gonna tell you which ones we're not doing cuz I don't know which ones I can say we're not doing for the vaccinations But that's the measles

That's the one you're not doing. Oh yeah. Yeah. You did. You did dress the baby in maga gear head to toe. You had a hat that says make my diaper great again. Which you know it's funny. The only time she's ever cried is when she gets a vaccine. That's what I'm saying. She's trying to say cock but her mouth doesn't work yet. So I was I her around this pharmacy, like in the doctor's office. Yeah. In the bottom floor. And then I finally got her to sleep,

and then these fucking assholes were walking by going like, hunkers, hunker, hunker. And I was like, mother fuck, and I was like, who are these Jewish assholes being so fucking loud and coughing and sneezing and just doing like the Hebrew bullshit. And then I poked my head out and it was I swear to God, three Japanese guys. And I go, oh, yeah, it's the exact same thing.

Like they were they were spitting on the sidewalk outside. They were just going, oh, I hate the. And just through the because I was like in a wind tunnel. I was like, oh, it's Jewish people. I was like, it's Japanese. I'm like, just as bad. Yeah, yeah. Your tracking skills have gotten bad. It's Jewish people, it's Japanese people.

It's three men choking. The two races, they're always choking on something. It's like blow your nose. It's always with the sneezes and the spitting and the. Yeah. I honestly thought it was, or it might've been Jewish Japanese guys actually. I think it was Japanese guys who practiced Judaism.

Now they just talk like that. And they go, we're the cheapest person to ever lift. We are the cheapest person in the world. They sleep on the ground, but to save money on beds. Very good. Yeah, they, uh, they're Jewish and Japanese. Their sushi like the nigiri that goes on the rice.

It's in a little yarmulke shape. Very good. Very good. They get passed. Sashimi kafilta. There we go. Yeah, they're putting kafilta on the rice. Yep. Yep. Very good. They're bombing Taiwan and Palestine at the same time. Taiwan is China. I know. But for the joke. Yeah.

For the joke. And also in my head. And also in my head, they're all the fucking same. And also in my head, they're all the same. But I was also like, I'm complaining about the Hebrew, the loud like, like it's that it was like you're waking up my baby, and you keep it down a little bit. It's a little crazy. You train the baby to cry when she hears Judaism.

You know what's funny? I'm still mad at the Hebrew guys in the story, even though they are actually Japanese cats. Yeah. And that's how you know you're becoming a true conservative. You're mad at somebody who doesn't exist. You're really crazy. You go, I found out they were Japanese.

And I was like, these fucking Jews. You've become a dad, you're mad at somebody you made up in your head. That's all of what Twitter is, is it's like the right wing side of Twitter, far right wing, it's like they make up dudes who don't exist. Yeah. And then they get mad about it.

No, I've literally seen, I think somebody else to read about this, I've literally seen like mad accounts. And by the way, that happens on the left side too. It happens on the left side. Oh, you got it. That's a bad disclaimer, it's because you guys are by the way, that happens on the left side too. It happens on the left side. Oh, you got it. As a death disclaimer, it's because you guys get your fucking losers.

You got us on Reddit, kill yourself. I don't like that. Um. No, I've literally seen. The guys that are like, we're totally not affected by this. We all stare into the camera and go, fuck you.

You're not getting to me. Wrens don't hit me. You're not getting to me. I literally watched, I re every watch chef in that part where he's screaming at Oliver Platt Yeah, so you're not getting to me. I was like, ah fuck. It's me looking at the red I should be in a taco truck racist in Miami right now It's Fucking podcast is lava cake. It's more than it's racist.

So it's racist. No, but I've literally seen like Maggie guys tweet like this is what they're doing to this country. And it's like a it's like a black guy with a white baby on a big fork in a eye like eating. And I'm like, but it is a eye. You don't have a real picture of it. You know, anyway. No, they always make, they always, like they have memes where it's just like,

teachers in 1990 and it's like these beautiful, like trad wives, like Wojax. And it says teachers now and it's like 400 pound fucking trans hogs with like huge cocks and balls and like actual pedophiles. It's like, have you been to a school? It's still like women that can barely fit in their minivan who believe in Jesus.

It's still the best reply I've ever seen is somebody replied to one of those tweets, stop playing dolls with Wojaks. And I was like, oh, that literally defeats the entire thing immediately. Yeah, that's when people make memes and then they share them to get mad at them and act like they're just, they have,

they just have two little dolls and they're share them to get mad at them and act like they're just, they're half, they just have two little dolls and they're making them fight. When people share the like little, the Wojak with the beard being like, be my wife and raise my children, I'll go work for us, and then it's the hot lady Wojak, and she goes, I love my life, it's so great. That, you should be killed by your parents.

The government should force your parents to kill you. It's a grown, grown men making memes like that, they're playing with dolls. Yeah, it's E. Miles Chong is making that while jacking off his microscopic penis with a tweezer in his little fucking bamboo hut somewhere. The new fantasy they created is that American women are fat and ugly and that they need to get a,

what is it, like an Estonian woman or something. That's the whole thing. A woman who would literally be like, you are a faggot, fuck you. It says meanwhile wife from third world country, it says has college degree, is educated, works out, has family values, reads the Bible. That woman's gonna be like, oh God,

a smelly fat retard with no job. Oh my God. But he's, but he's, why? But he's, he's white and he spends 18 hours online getting invites, where do I sign up? There's also a thing on Twitter where it's a woman that like objectively is like hot, but like in too good of shape or something,

and people go, if you like this, you gay. Yeah, I've seen that. And you're like, what? And then under that, someone says, if she's really hot, why is she wearing makeup? Yeah. So she can't win. It's just people playing chess against the wall.

I've literally seen black women tweet, ladies, if your man doesn't hit you from time to time, he low-key gay. And I'm like, man, we really did a number on this group of people. Yeah, Twitter's insane. I kind of just get on there to get on messages or to, I go to Instagram, I go to Brett Gellman's page

and I screen record stuff and then share it to Twitter. So just, because I hate him so much, I want everybody to. Yeah, he's up to, he's like, he's making like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like.inseng swords and stuff. I found out Brett Gellman's book is a collection of short stories like it's it's literally fiction and It's it's called the terrifying realm of the Possible. I'm sure it's really good. I read it it reads like a

He's writing like she'll Shel Silverstein kind of sentences, but I don't think he's trying to. Shel Silverstein? Yeah. But I don't think he's trying to do that. It's just like every line is a page break. So he always, he's always, but it's just to make the pages longer.

He wrote a fag in the attic. It's like, it's like a Philip Roth book, but he's jacking off to the idea of babies dying in Palestine. Yeah, where the sidewalk ends. Yeah, at the Gaza Strip, right here, my friend. That's where it ends. Portnoy's complaint, I don't have a condo in the West Side.

It's funny because he talks about being oppressed all the time, and then his Instagram is is like him like on the coast of Spain, like attending some awards ceremony. And he's like, here's who did my makeup, here's who did my hair, here's who designed this dress. Because he wears like kilts and stuff because he does, hey, Brett will wear whatever you tell him to wear. He'll be whoever you tell him to be as long as he can keep his job. That's all Brett Gellman gives a shit about, is fucking money and being weird on screen.

Being a guy who doesn't exist and being, by the way, a bad actor. He's not talented. He's not good. He's bad in that show. And he's worse in life. He's worse in life, he's not funny, he's not a comedian. He's just fucking loud.

He's the type of guy, he be off putting to the characters in succession. Yeah. Like the succession guys be like, dude, you're like evil. Yeah, like tone it down. Like like fucking like Logan would be like, you're a fucking cock sucking fuck. The fucking people. So because they're brown, they're not fucking people. You shit head fuck. Cock sucker motherfucker.

How many of us do you need you? Brett's clearly like they're doing very well. There's more to life than money You stupid you So Brett These Jews are more retarded than my gay son My gay soul was up. She wears a fucking kilt. He's probably a Molly addict. He's walking around. He thinks he's an author now

because he writes like one, two, buckle my Jew. And then. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, that's pretty good. That's a digital cigarette. I just put out on your bald ugly fucking head Yeah, get it, and I'll put it out on your ugly It was bleeped for five seconds, they don't know what I said relax come on be respectful. She's a cunt She's a cunt. He's posting photos of him and his wife kissing and it's so gross. He has like the trucker arm fat. I saw the picture of the kiss. She's like trying her hardest to not have the lips touch.

She's disgusted by him. She's using him. They're both disgusted by each other. They go, God, you're so evil. And Brett does the manic thing where he thinks it's funny if he like bleaches his hair. I'm like, oh wow, that's hilarious, Brett. Where'd you come up with that one? Very funny.

What an eccentric thing to do. It's like Kanye making Life of Pablo. Incredible, Brett. You fucking idiot. Go read samples of his book on it. Should we read a little sample of it right now? Sure, pull it up. That's how we'll end the episode.

We'll end some of Brett Gellman's book. Let's do that. We need to turn the air conditioning on, by the way. Yeah, it's getting hot. It's like summer is approaching. By the way, are you allowed to have been just having no kind of rolled man onto the background? We'll find out. It's a copyright. No, you're're gonna have to blur that the entire episode

That's gonna get removed Um here we go All right, ready this is the biggest hunk of shit i've ever seen And no one buy it ironically let Let him continue to flounder. The terrifying realm of the possible. It's five people he says he could have been. Dear reader, welcome to the terrifying realm of the possible.

What you're about to read is a series of stories about five people. They are the essence of deep neurosis and barely functioning madness. They are a people deranged. So he's doing this thing where he's like, I'm- They are the essence of deep neurosis and barely functioning madness. They are a people deranged. So he's doing this thing where he's like, I'm- They are Palestinian children.

He's like doing this thing where he's like, I'm the Jewish joker. I'm so fucking twisted. I need a disclaimer before you go into this, before you judge me. Yeah. Cause you're, welcome to my twisted world. Yep, shekels reign.

Yep. This is not an autobiography, but rather a series of nightmares. Nightmares of who I really am or who I could become. Please don't judge me. But when you do judge me, ask yourself, am I judging Brett Gellman or am I judging myself? Is that defensive?

Maybe. Okay, scratch that. Let's take judgment out of this. Just enjoy or don't. You are your own person with your own free will. Thank you for your time. Love, Brett Gellman. Here's the first character.

Do you think he writes the word love and wonders what it feels like? He stares at it. Stares at it. Stares at it like that scene in Ferris Bueller. No, this guy has to take ecstasy to brush his teeth. Yeah. He's fucking he has whole he has a wiffle ball head.

No, yeah. This is Abraham Amsterdam. That's just a drawing he did. Yeah. Chapter one. Or this is going to be the first story. Abraham and the demons in his head. Jace, do you wanna take this?

Abraham Amsterdam was a Jewish boy who grew up in a Jewish suburb. Boring! Wow, never seen that in media. Abraham was like any other Jewish boy from a Jewish suburb. Sometimes he was quiet, other times he was loud. Sometimes he was funny, other times he was loud. Sometimes he was funny, other times he was serious. Sometimes he was hungry, most times he was very hungry. And

he was very nervous all the time. Many things made Abraham nervous. His dad, he liked to yell. The bullies at school, they liked to scare him. The girls at school, they liked to laugh at him. All Abraham wanted to do was kill Palestinians. The teachers at school, well liked to laugh at him. All Abraham wanted to do was kill Palestinians. The teachers at school, well not all of them, but some of them liked to yell just like his dad. His own reflection, it made him want to puke, much like Palestinians.

He had a very accurate judgment of reality. That was thanks to his mother's side of the family, who had given him a fat round ass. That's the little Brett twist, because it's like, ooh vulgarity, because it's reading like a fat round ass. Jesus. That's the little Brett twist. Cause it's like, ooh vulgarity. That's great. Cause it's reading like a children's book. Oh, but now it's reading like a pedophile

writing erotic fiction. Spec script for Dan Schneider. So then he says that Abraham had demons in his head and the demons would, I'm gonna read you this cause it's so bad. And the demons came in on flying carpets. The demons would speak to Abraham all day every day, and when the demon spoke, Abraham would be transported

to the chamber of his own mind, a giant room at the center of which sat a large throne made of skulls. Surrounding the chair was an inferno, the floor, wall, and ceiling all covered in flames, burning everywhere, just like hell. Hell was in his head, and in his head the demons danced The demons did not dance out of joy the demons dance out of pain. They danced. They did not laugh. They danced

They did not cry they danced they danced they screamed they danced Jesus Christ Fucking dog shit. I say here's the worst part of it is how fucking boring it is Yeah, if if I was a dog if I was a principal and a kid wrote this I won't even be like, oh he's going through It I'd be like this kid needs fucking attention in this fucking son. Yeah, fuck him Yeah, it's it's basically just that everything is a line break. I think the character gets aids and she's such a hack He can't write a short story without the character getting aids in it. Oh, no, it's the demon tells him He has aids and keeps saying words of torture He can't write a short story without the character getting AIDS in it. Oh no, it's the demon tells him he has AIDS and keeps saying words of torture.

The demons lived in his parents' house before they moved into it. And that was very mean of him. Which is weird too, because he's so proud of Judaism and stuff. And then he's saying this whole thing about this is what religious trauma did to me, I guess. So I don't know where he stands.

One of the selling points of this book is that the whole thing was written in blood. Yeah. Yeah. The US military actually paid $20 million for this book. Yeah. 100 billion dollar book. Yeah.

Passed unanimously through Congress. And that's just a little political humor for you. Oh, and then and then chapter two of this short story, more than anything, Abraham, Amsterdam wanted to be famous. More specifically, he wanted to be famously funny, not the famously funny man who wore a leather jacket and shouted profanely about how it really is. Oh, he's shitting on topelt like it is edgy comedy.

He says, not the famously funny man who boasted a Hawaiian shirt and a guitar and sang parody songs about pizza and boogers. He doesn't wanna be like Jeff Dunham or like a comic. By the way, all these tropes are so outdated. There's no guy wearing a leather jacket and shouting profanity. Like, what are you talking, are you like,

who do you, like Bill Hicks? What are you talking about right now know he's hacked from two generations ago It would I mean there was funny that there was a real chance that could have been like he didn't want to be funny Like a guy with glasses on a podcast with a camel toe Yeah, he really sucks ass yeah, this is if you buy this book I write you off completely as human being Yeah, that is a tear fleet. That is a terrifying realm Brett. Gelman's writing Tis tis tis. Yeah, I really hate him. Yeah, it makes me fucking sick. Yeah that video I posted where he's like he's in a copywriter You probably just like not see I'm fine you don't have to edit as much it's fine the I

posted a video of Brett Gellman he's just like dancing he's just telling his wife to film him dancing with knives in a kitchen at a restaurant yeah and it killed no it's a good sign like when you want to show people that you're not in the wrong to start making videos like Britney Spears in captivity Brett Gellman sucks so much that you I know people meet him in real life and they go. Okay, don't be anti-semitic He's not it's just a guy It's not cuz he's Jewish. Don't think those thoughts about Jewish people He's so bad. He makes you a bad person dude. Just watching him wheel like dual wield the knives

I wanted so badly for like an MS 13 bus bus boy to walk over and just take his head and put it in a fryer. Put his head in fucking grease like hot oil fashion. Someone to deep fry his fucking head. It'd be great. I'd love to see a line cook who's high on that. You wanted to see Benny Fazio walk in like he's Artie and just hold his hand into the fryer.

Yeah, just hold it right in the fryer. Grab him by that little shitty strip of hair He has and by the way, you won't shave his head because it's funny to be to have shitty to look like bacon strips Around your head like shit you die blonde. Yeah, funny. Yeah. No, he's got like he's got genio hair You're hey when you're not on stranger things anymore. I can guarantee you your stupid wife's gonna leave you the lady who thinks She's a musician. I know you guys watch this show, by the way, because you're narcissists. Because every time I go viral about this,

he sub-tweets me. He knows exactly who I am and he watches this show. He's a narcissist and he thinks that everybody is constantly talking about him and the whole world is against him and they're not. It's just me, I just hate you because you suck ass. And you really got under my skin,

it has literally nothing to do with you being doing it. You just fucking suck ass. I gotta say, be careful you who battle monsters lest you become them. That guy is a cancer to comedy and to entertainment. And to life. And to life. He's one of the worst, he's a fucking succubus.

I know you're supposed to use that term for women. That's what he is, he's like a barnacle. He's literally a fucking parasite. You can tell, this full cold-blooded sociopath does not care about a single living human being at all. Everything he does is he created himself to maximize money and mainstream success and popularity. People point the camera at him, what does Brett do?

Ah! Ah! He swings a knife and goes, ah! Ah! Ah! He has nothing to say. He just thinks if he keeps screaming they won't turn the camera on to somebody else who's actually brilliant.

Yeah, his whole thing is like, is this bomb on? Is this bomb on? Did somebody get this bomb ready to be dropped? On a village? Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha! It's classic improv guy hack. It's every, I used to do stand up at an improv theater

and you would wait on the bar area and you'd see the biggest, fattest, dumbest retard of all time walk out and be like, sir, at the bar, can I patron you for one large mug of ale? Exactly. And it's just like, if people aren't looking at me, I'll kill myself because I've never built a real life or a mind or interest or taste or a personality.

Why don't we, let's throw this on him. He's probably a rapist too. He actually probably is. I love doing that for people I hate. I go, I heard he rapes. I heard it. I heard he rapes kids. No evidence.

We can't know that. Legally we can't actually know that to be true. But does that matter if we do know it? But it could be true. It's a very complicated issue, much like Israel-Palestine. Let's just say that. It is done. We haven't done the work. Yeah, we've done the research. Yep. That's right Anyway, I actually I actually kind of a huge fan of Brett. I think he's great. I think he's funny

Yeah, he makes me laugh actually I don't get some good bit and I think well I bet even more so than that I think he's a great writer and he's smart What if he's at home on the couch right now watching this like in his three point five million dollar house in the hills And he's like he's like okay. He's like babe turn it up All right, let's call up showbiz let's get these boys a deal He's so high on Molly with his like fake weird like hops and contacts He is in that day for some reason he's a guy who does Molly over 40 Which is like you're worthless and you know in LA you're like there's like

4,000 whores in LA who think you're cool, but that's because they were molested in Nebraska and then moved to yes Yes, Brett, you're white You're white But here's you know Thanks for posting ten photos of you and Ibiza with a fourteen thousand dollar suit on like I can't imagine How hard it is to be you it seems like everybody wants to kill you even though you're you know? Galavanting literally around the actual globe doing whatever you want financially and you have you seemingly have a great life Which you don't your head is a hermit crab shell. There's nothing inside there. This is what it's an acorn

This is what yeah when I see Brett. I just go, bye. Bye, bitch. I turn into a Japanese waving cat. And I go, bye, bitch. Anyway, he makes me really mad. And I just had to get that off me. He's been pissing me off lately. And I just had to.

It has nothing to do with, everything's going great in my life. Don't you guys think it has anything to do with me? I'm not doing fantastic. The fact that I rage out every day has nothing to do with me? I'm not doing As I'm the fact that I rage out every day Me I have no defects everything's great. That's why I have a podcast I'm kidding. I love bread gum and he's great. I love I don't But you're but also I'm kidding, I love bread gum and he's great. I love it. I love it. But also I'm mad as hell. But also I'm mad as hell.

I'm doing great but also I'm mad as hell and I won't take it anymore. Why Ben, why? Why Ben, why? Oh man, this is why I should have some Coke Zero though because then the Coke Zero, it weens me to the point where I get so sick that I can't make that threat. Well, I like this more.

You're alive. Yeah, let the juice out, buddy. I can tell your gut biome is back in full right now. I'm fully raging, fully spurging out on you. Your little biobs are doing like little marches down the lining of your stomach right now. Well, it's a good as time as any to promote the live day in New York City, which might be sold out by now. And the show already aired.

We're doing that Saturday. Yeah. So then Washington, D.C. get tickets for that. Limit Party dot live and we'll probably have some special guests for Philly, for sure. New York, we'll probably have another date, but we're not gonna add that to that yet, because I don't think it's official.

Well, we're gonna have Boston. Oh, is that official? So go look for Boston, yeah, yeah. And, patreon.com slash Lemon Party, and yeah. Vote for us on Joke World March Madness poll. So we can keep. Yeah, come on, help us pull off the upstart.

Legal disclaimer, we're joking about everything we say. That thing we ever say is real. It's all in jest. All in jest. Infinite jest is the name of the show. Ew. It's a comedy podcast where we say the opposite of what is true.

And how we feel. Yeah. I do like, I was on the Reddit after that. I did I did see a guy I cave. I was like a year and a half. I was fine. And then I saw a guy be like, just goes like against every who he says something to the next week.

He says something else. I'm like, yeah, it's a fucking with everything's made up like we're supposed to like hold on this comedy show like Rogan when he just says the same exact thing over and fucking over and fucking over every fucking week. Anyway, I don't want to get on a rant. You're right. Thanks for your support of this show, everybody. And you're not getting the man.

We love you all. The Reddit is, it's like overwhelmingly, they like us. Oh, the moon. They're voting for us. Then they're voting for us. I mean, I think they like it. I mean. I'd hope they like it.

It's not like a vicious thing where it's like the fighter and the kid and they just tune in to hate us or something. Yeah, no. It's not like that. We're not like Brendan Schaub. No, not yet. We're not like the great Brendan Schaub.

Yeah. Who I like now. He's like actually my favorite. I actually thought it ruled that he flipped, struck, and posted. He's one of my favorite public figures at this point. No, it's gone full circle. Him and Ween and Dunham actually kick ass.

I think they are. We love them both. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. it's gone full circle him and we need done. I'm actually kick ass. I think they are we love them Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a actually a great PR move for Brendan to quit comedy and then start flipping trucks in the desert Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's actually great for his like Brandon I like it would be great if he just became a 14 year old and he's like shooting off bottle rockets and trash cans and shit Torturing animals. Yes stealing money from his dad He said he quit stand-up. That's cooler than anybody, you know.

Did he ever stutter? He said, it's funny, he did the whole thing where he's quitting stand-up because of his family or whatever, but the truth is he just like wasn't selling tickets anymore. Right, he's like, I wanna be with my family who I cheat on. Yeah, the minute he couldn't have affairs anymore,

he knew it was time to hang it up. That's always my favorite thing in life, when someone retires from a thing. They don't do mm-hmm Yeah, him quitting stand-ups like somebody announcing. They're not going to the park anymore. Yeah, I'm retiring from the NBA Hey guys, I won't be hiking running I've had friends be like I'm giving up music I'm like, but you don't like your you give up playing your guitar in your room? I don't get it.

My favorite was, I don't like music, but I've seen people who've only done open mics quick announce that they're retiring from comedy. I'm like, you've literally never made money doing it. Yeah. You technically have not started comedy. That's insane. You haven't got a laugh yet.

Yeah, exactly. You gotta get a laugh, then you can retire. Right then. Hey everybody. In the middle of the laugh. No, it's like, what are you like getting a temp to shut like about to step foot in the building on the first day Be like I retire It's it's basically the same as walking into an office building at a job. You actually don't work at you've never worked there

No one knows who you are and you desperately want to work there and when they say you can't you go? I don't get fuck this. I hate this You step into the office that you've been in for one second as of that moment, and you go, I quit! And then you walk back. And they go, who the hell was that guy? It's like calling a Motel 6 and saying you won't be getting a room.

All right, patreon.com slash lemon party, and subscribe to the Clips channel, DevanHaterWatchPaw,ays's had bond drawings by jays and God bless you. Bye Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a spell I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a wild young cowboy came in, wild as the west Texas wind.