lemonparty - 086: Leaves of Snacks

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

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Good ol' Bluebell, the only ice cream that's only for I'm on that light beam. Always in my face, talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of me. Good old Bluebell. The only ice cream that's only vanilla. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha will taste just like when the pre civil rights. Good. Oh, and this I was watching this commercial right here. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. This Bluebell commercial right here is from like night from 96. Sure. I don't remember this one, but it starts with it's like it's three elderly people.

And like obviously their whole Blue bows, whole thing is like, remember when things were simple. Yes. Right. Right. Remember? Yeah. Remember when things weren't so complicated. Exactly. When you could punch your wife in the face and then ice her wounds with blue bell ice cream. There's this there's this undertone of racism that's so

I'm not even trying to force it into the joke here. It's so apparent. You can also, not even the racism, that idea of like, I just missed those good old days when life was simple. And then it's like, you were drunk, you ran over your kids for punishment. Yeah, you were cosplaying as Dick Cheney.

Yeah, there was a day where you, like in the 40s. Yeah, there was a day you shot through your wife's beehive hairdo Like Tony soprano's dad and you're like half the good old days these guys there three elderly They're clearly brother and sister in this commercial and they're going back to their childhood home and it looks like a plantation Okay, you gotta see this They're gonna look contiguous is still hanging from the tree Nothing but bones

So they step into the home It's it's genuinely back to pre civil rights like they're in like the yeah one. Yeah. No, that's the 1860s right there. Yeah They literally their dad is like Robert E Lee It goes black and white Look, it's amazing And he's a farmer it's just very I'm sure he's doing a lot of the work on the farm. Yeah Wait, we had separate water fountains, that was the Bluebell Way. Oh, the busing crisis should continue.

Oh, I'll never forget what my dad did to that hitchhiker that won July 9. It's white people riding horses in like a slave field. It's amazing. Yeah, no, it's literally, yeah, it's a flashback of Don Draper's childhood, but taking out all the bad parts. And then it's back to them on the porch where you know who. Bluebell. Beat a queer to death with a tire iron.

It's the Matthew Shepard-ing guy. Have your daddy take you down to a ditch and show you the local fag that they just killed. Blue Bell. It's like Ben and Jerry's, they're like, Laramie Project Liquorish. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Taste our new flavor Matthew Shepard Mint Chocolate Chip.

Tuskegee Experiment Espresso. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. ship. Tuskegee experiment espresso. Our new flavor Rocky road that you dragged a black man's body across. Blue bell tastes just like the wink. Good old days. Blue bell is really, it's the, it's the, it's in the veins of the blood of Texas. People are really at dude when I was there, I heard that talked about more than anything else bluebell

Yep all the time. Yeah, they think you can't get it out here by the way Yeah, can you not know you can yes it's a little right. It's a little harder to find but it is where do you get it at? Ralph's you can get it You can't get you have to go down to the Ralph's you can get it You can't get you have to go down to the Ralph's They don't have the bluebell man will deliver right to your door for their scooters are broken. I Wrote a letter to mr. Nussian because we visited our queer grandkids you podcast out in LA And we couldn't find a single scooter at the Griffith Observatory. I guess you can't get it. We got stuck up there they had the helicopter is down. Charged me and my wife 750. I thought you could get it in California I could have but maybe I have like a dealer yeah like maybe it's like

when intact you driver when he's buying a gun yeah I go to a guy's apartment just lays out different pints. He's like, I got you a cherry gusset. That's a good classic flavor. You like something close, simple. It's bullshit though, because ice cream really speaks a lot about what a state is about. Because here, Ben and Jerry's is a big thing and it's owned by the queers.

Ben and Jerry's is owned by, yeah, like the They're gay, right? Two kings of Vermont, right? That's what it is, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody likes it because they're gay. I think they're two brothers who fuck each other. That's Ben and Jerry.

Yeah, they're incest brothers. Yeah, Ben and Jerry's is owned by Johnny Cakes. And Texas has Blue Bell, the good old days ice cream. Blue Bell also has this specific thing where you would go to the potluck and they'd be like, now, don't bring another type of ice cream. I only eat that Bluebell. Yeah.

And it's like, it's just sludge, really. It's a very simple ice cream. It's clearly more cream than usual. I'd rather support Bluebell than Ben & Jerry's. I like Ben & Jerry's a lot, but I don't know. Sometimes I'll be at the grocery store and look at their new flavors and something's just called like,

Stephen Colbert is funny, vanilla. Or like, remember to double mask chocolate. Yeah, fuck whites, our new flavor. Like, all right, Jesus. Fuck whites. Yeah, everybody on Reddit's like, I'm pretty sure I eat it all the time in California and some guy goes, you're probably thinking of Blue Bunny

and they go, you know, you're right, I was chuckling thinking, why don't they want that stuff at Walmart, it isn't any good. So people that are buying ice cream all the time are just, they don't even know what they're eating. Who's the ice cream I wanna kill? Blue Bunny? No, oh, Bad Bunny, how I'm gonna kill him?

Yeah, we had to move to Austin because we couldn't find no Blue Bell in California. I could have sworn I'd find a find like a pine or two like at a like in a 7-eleven. They have them in a little. No, no, no. My liquor store over here has it and they have nips blue bellies. You get the shakes. Then just throw this one back. You're pouring them in a drink at your terminal.

Ben's got a double cup full of ice cream soup. It is funny when I go to the liquor store with my wife, I just stand by the ice cream and look at all the ice cream. And then Katie comes over and slaps your hand. I'm getting like a gold slogger, vanilla, little gold flakes in it. I'm doing a buzz ball. Yeah doing a buzz ball Buzz balls which were designed to give Mexicans aneurysms over time. Yeah, that was designed to kill Latina women buzz balls I never had one of them. I never I never ventured out. They looked like they were too sweet They're for alcoholics to like throw in their tub

And they take a big bath Just drinking like fucking add some salt. Oh Edgar it soaked into my veins The only time I've ever seen it was the Mexican women at my at my jobs would bring Yeah, buzz ball to a corporate women need drinks to be like very sweet, and they you know they love cocktails And that's you need something to be incredibly person. Women need drinks to be like very sweet and they love cocktails and all that shit. They need something to be incredibly stupid in order to enjoy it. Yeah, I don't need any of that. I don't need any bells and whistles.

I need a cup full of vodka. My booze don't need nobody. No sir. Yeah, so Blue Bell is an ice cream and fat retards like it. That's true. Yeah, so Blue Bell is an ice cream and fat retards like it. That's true. Yeah, but it does kick ass though. At my wedding I had the cherry Blue Bell.

Did you take any of the cherry vanilla Blue Bell at my wedding? No, I just remember taking a lot of jalapeno poppers from other people's tables that weren't mine and then being reprimanded by somebody. Those were pretty good, yeah. They were amazing. Jalapeno somebody. Those were pretty good. Yeah, they were amazing. Jalapeno poppers are so fucked. Yeah, they're really underrated. Actually, you you and Katie have always done them right.

See, here's the thing is people try to play it off like it's like a it's like a it's like a fool's errand to chase a good jalapeno. No, because these people get like the Jack in the Box ones. And the breaded ones saw fried poppers suck. They need to be they need to be oven baked. Wrapped in bacon. Wrapped in bacon, yeah. With the little toothpick through.

Exactly. And it needs multiple cheeses in it. It needs cream cheese and cheddar mixed together. And you could even cut up some shrimp and put that in there too. Yeah, I was at, I think I was at Houston's, like Hillstones or whatever, that chain. And they had like a goat cheese

jalapeno popper, it was mighty fine. Little too expensive, but mighty fine. Yeah, everything there is, yeah. Yeah, everything is soy-fied now, they gotta put goat cheese in it. It's a soy-fication of everything. You like goat cheese, it's very milky and- I like all cheese.

And it would really help those hips here. I love- I know you have a big would really help those hips here. I love. I know you have a big audition at Magic City next week. We both do have, we have Bill Parcell hips, unfortunately. If I get, if I get too fat, I'll just never turn around again. I'll do the podcast facing that way for the rest of the time. We're going to get that. You're going to build up the new studio

and it's just you behind like an X-ray booth with a little window that you peer through. A man having a legitimate fat ass is so funny to me. It's just a big ass. A big juicy ass. Yeah, like, because women are always worried about when they eat too much food, like it's going straight to my ass,

like in like a gross way, but like a man eating too much food and his gut is not an issue for him, he's like, it's going straight to my ass. People have pointed like a gross way like a man eating too much food and he's that his gut is not an issue for him he's like it's going straight to my ass people pointed out I have cellulite when I crossed my legs and I was like that's not true and I zoomed in I have cellulite my legs when I wear shorts and I have tons of it looks like I don't know if that's totally fair though cuz at a certain angle like well no actually I have great legs Dev that's totally fair though, because at a certain angle, like, well no, actually I have great legs. Devin's is smooth and great.

No dude, my ass, it looks awful. I've seen my ass many times in the mirror. It sucks my ass. My ass really sucks dick, man. Our ass is where you can really tell we're fat little Texas pigs, is in our big asses. You got a ton of hair on your ass though, so it covers up all the cellulite, right? I don't got the hairy ass. I got the bear. Why you not get hair

It's just I I have more testosterone than Ben I was just think maybe like I never started receding or anything you guys everything Maybe you're not like direct brothers. Well Jase has a yeah Like I never went started going bald, but you and Cole started going bald and that never happened to me, right? Yeah, so I don't know I do also have a theory sometimes that just chronic anxiety Age me like Robin Williams in that movie Jack like I just turned 20 Yeah, or bicentennial man or bicentennial you live to be 2,000 years old. Yeah in hell the whole time

I live to discover a new type of well buterin. That's how old I am A well buterin I'm shooting into my veins like heroin an immortal man in hell Yeah, that is kind of the Avery's genetically is what is they all want to die and then they live to be like 93 Right, but like they age they they like they like die like the guys finishing the Ironman race and shitting themselves and like covered in blood Like they're literally just like going across the finish line like that and you know, that's why I'm always afraid I'm gonna go early because I have too much glee Yeah, too much joy. I think that way I get too excited about things. Yeah God's like I don't yeah You got a whole lifetime of joy in like the first 30 years because like you can you just like, you know

You looked at a bird outside that was fat and you laughed for three hours So that's as much joy as someone gets in like two years. Yeah, like you're speeding this up to the end It does feel like that's how it works. Yeah, you got to like play it off. Like you're not that happy actually Yeah, you can get one over on the big guy Yeah, you're gonna make the perfect cortada one day and you're not that happy actually. Yeah. So you can get one over on the big guy. What is gonna happen? Yeah, you're gonna make the perfect cortado one day and you're like, ah, I just love the process of living. And then God's gonna be like, Parkinson's.

Yeah. Just touch with Parkinson's. There's a stray bullet from July 4th last year finally comes down. It was floating in space. It was floating in space for a whole year. Bounce off a satellite. Yeah, it's like a fucking cartel bullet with the like wanted fucking stamps

all around the cursive. Yeah, that'll probably happen. And there probably will be a day, I'm at your funeral and your daughter's like three, it's raining and I have to go to Katie and I go, if you need anything and I'm not feeling really sad that day, I'm there. But if I'm kind of bummed, I can't, I can't make it out.

Doesn't it feel like when things are going really well and really like lovely and like you're in the moment, you have that fear, you have to keep telling your brain, like don't go into that, but like it's all, it's just gonna, you're gonna get punished for things, for having a nice moment. I hate flying now because I'm like, well, I just started liking my life nine months ago.

I'm terrified. And this is when God would just throw my plane out of the sky. My mom today is like, let me take you to the airport when I go to London. And I'm like, I don't like the whole flying over the ocean thing. It really creeps me out.

I don't really know what's, I don't get that. I truly don't understand why it's so easy for people to just go to other places like that. Because they're kind of retarded. It's weird. Everyone's just so casually, I know I like the Louie joke, but it really is amazing and crazy

how casually people just fly across the fucking globe over the ocean. And my mom's like, oh, I want to take you to the airport that day. And I'm like, oh, that's nice. And then today I started having a panic attack a little bit about it. I'm like, well, I wanna take you to the airport that day, and I'm like, oh, that's nice. And then today I started having a panic attack a little bit about it. I'm like, well, I'm gonna be punished for that.

I'm gonna have a nice moment. I'm gonna have a nice last moment with my mom, and then, literally last night, I was thinking about, I watched Cast Away three weeks ago, and I keep being like, okay, so I guess if I, because he's standing like kind of in front of the bathroom door when they land in the water and he like somehow lives and I keep having images

of me like just in the middle of the ocean with my life jacket on and then just hoping there's an island. I don't know, it fucked me up a little bit. I don't like it. Just bored with like a big tube around your waist that you're blowing up like. Yeah, yeah.

Have like a big life preserver thing that's a giraffe with its head coming up, like, oh, and just act retarded and get on the plane and sit down. Exactly, yeah. I feel like this is gonna be my first flight where I tell people, I quiet people down when they're doing the whole life jacket,

like, you know, when they tell you how to put it on and stuff, and be like, shut up, we're going to need this. But I need to listen to the thing they lie to us about because we're going to turn into dust if anything does happen. I'd start a middle of the ocean. Just start if someone starts freaking out, they can't land it anywhere. That's a weird. That's what I don't understand. But I feel like they have less. I don't know about crashes with don't understand, but I feel like they have less,

I don't know about crashes with planes and stuff, but I feel like there's less of them over the ocean than domestic or whatever. Well, you're a young, healthy guy, right? You're what, 23? No, I'm kidding. You're 31? Yes.

You're 31, you're a young, healthy guy. You could technically just drop dead of a heart attack on the plane Huh at a high enough pressure you could just die in the air, right? And then this poor guy that you're sitting next to is just gonna like sit It's just gonna keep they're gonna keep flying all the way to London with you dead in your chair, right? Cuz you're in the oh, yeah, where do they land? There's nowhere to go. They don't they don't go They're not like they don't turn they're like, yeah. They don't go like, So you would just be dead.

They're not like, they don't turn, they're like, yeah, they don't go like, we're going back to Love Field. Like, yeah, I don't like it. Hey everybody, we want to take a moment today to tell you about our friends at Magic Mine. Now, we've talked about Magic Mine in the past, and they've sent us boxes before. We're a big fan of Magic Mine.

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I don't even like when I'm like awake, like you know, we were at like your buddy's ranch in like in Houston. Outside Houston. Or whatever and I'm like, how do we get to the hospital? Yeah. I go, you know, cause I plan on having a heart attack

tonight. I've been to hospitals, by the way, they're starting to feel like they're shut down. It doesn't feel like anything's going on at hospitals. I don't trust them anymore. I think I'm gonna start learning how to like, I'm just gonna start watching like Bear Grylls videos, like learn how to suture wounds and stuff.

I'm on a whole other level, dude. Guy that tries to cure his heart attack by drinking his own piss and like carving out a moose and living inside of it. You're going to get a hangnail. You're like, I have to I have to eat my own. Yeah, you got to eat the this, you know, mountain lion's nuts. You're going to get a splinter that has to get your leg amputated because you didn't treat it.

I I break my leg and I just start drinking my own pee immediately. You know, it works, right? Yeah, the heat goes out in the winter and you just cut Gracie open and sleep inside of her like the Revenant For warmth, but it's only 50 degrees though. Like when you went to Australia, do you like how I don't even know how that's possible Where do they keep that gas on for the plane? Where's all that fuel? Where is this tank? I don't get it. I think they can land in a, there's like,

I think if anything bad happens, they can land on like an island of like Aborigines and then like take out a village to save the plane. They kill like 3,000 people. They go, there is a runway, we want you, you need to land in the village. We want you to land in the village. We're landing, we're killing everybody.

Just a bunch of the Oompa Loompas from the Willy Wonka book just get turned into jelly. But when you look at the overseas flights, there is like a weird, like the line isn't straight. They do like a weird roundabout. Cause it's a ball. So I'm wondering. It's a sphere, yeah.

Well, I'm a. It's a floating rock in space. I like Kyrie Irving, so I don't really subscribe to that. You think the Jews have a flat? Ghost grade. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. There's got to be they have to have methods, right? How do they fucking dare? All these guys just taking risks.

I looked into it and it just never happens, which makes me think that plane crashes are like fake. I think it's because overseas flights, unless you like Malaysian and of course is like an Asian driver Sure pilot or whatever sure Who they mean, you know, yeah, these Malaysian flights are crashing into the air for crazy. It's crazy Your honor they cut off a cloud the other day The blinkers still on they have a plane blinker. Yeah. No most of the I think there's there's on the Malaysian airplanes The windshields are very if they're

They're very squinty they can barely Lucy out if you're flying the plane too good They have to turn autopilot on to make mistakes Sorry, what were you saying? Oh, I think it's cuz the I think there's less Overseas because the planes bigger right the 740 or whatever It's there the planes really big and the bigger the plane the easier the flight Yeah, but like the little ones get like knocking around. Yeah, the little ones get knocked around more or whatever I don't know. I saw I just watched Yesterday I watched a 19 year old boy on YouTube

Get in a sailboat and sail across the Pacific Ocean on his own. Are you kidding me? You watched that the other day? Yeah. Are you all like on my YouTube or something? Do we share the same YouTube because of Lemon Party? No, I have. And then we're both getting recommended the same thing?

I have my own YouTube. I've watched that video like a couple, I watched that once like seven months ago and then I watched it literally last night falling asleep. It's pretty terrifying right? Yeah, the kid is you see him, and he's like I'm alone now. I'm a hundred miles off the coast a nine-year-old He's like I got 30 no no he's like 19. No he's 19 or something But he's on his own boat, and he's just literally is going from Hawaii a white guy right a white guy He's going from Hawaii to where? On a little sailboat to the... To whatever, it's a really long place. Another place with weird people

I don't know. Far away through the ocean. A place I'll never see and I don't care about. It's a beautiful, rich culture. It's stunning. Yeah, yeah. A beautiful, rich culture, if you ask a follow-up, you're like, what does that mean? They're like, yeah, they got coconuts. I wanted to say Polyponegian. Whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah. Polynesian. He's going to some sort of, it's called Sweet Meats. Saucy Meatsville.

It's where they make the little umbrellas. Yeah, he's going to Mai Tai. Yeah, but they're, the Asians are so small, those are regular umbrellas for them. So this guy leaves Hawaii and he goes to Pina Colada. Yeah, he goes to a country so Asian, it's like a goal versus travels. So this guy leaves Hawaii and he goes to Pina Colada. He goes to a country so Asian it's like a Gullvers Travels. They're all little tiny and he rules.

If I landed on one of those islands I'd just be like, ooga booga. How's it going everybody, ooga booga. I love your little umbrellas. I'm the president of this island now. And I would hit a coconut tree like the Farnes and then grab a coconut, stab it. You walk up to an undiscovered tribe and you go no hablo espanol Yeah, you go, uh, who's uh, you guys got the the the hot dogs you cook on the grocery cart who's got those

I'm i'm famished. I might take out a cash. You take out a 20, you go, all right, who's got fruit? I'll take a dirt dog. No tahine. I ain't into no tahine. And he goes, what is this, like a fucking Hamas protest? Well, you guys all naked as shit. It's fucking gross.

Yeah, but that kid that looks like a fucking hell, because he, the video. Yeah, it looks like it sucks. He keeps going like can't sleep much. He goes, I'm trying to sleep in 20 minute intervals. In the pitch dark in the middle of the ocean. In the pitch dark in the ocean. And that little ore thing keeps slapping. He has like a hunk of shit sailboat.

It looks really bad. He has like a sailboat that looks like it's just used in like Cape Cod. Like it's weird that he's even taking it in the ocean. His sailboat looks like it was made by Curious George, like out of newspaper. It does. Like Curious George folded it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He put it and then he's riding it across the ocean like this, it's so shitty. It looks like a children's book. He scuppers the sail dog or something. It's Paddington Bear's sailboat. He opens the hatch at one point and the sailboat fills with water from a huge wave. Yeah. Do you remember he wakes up, he opens the hatch at one point and the sailboat fills with water from a huge wave. Do you remember he wakes up, he opens the hatch

and then it just fills with water and he has to close it again? Yeah, at one point he goes, oh there's a little leak here and he says something but I hope it's not attached to some important thing. And then he just goes to sleep and he's upset at himself for sleeping more than three hours because he's like, oh I could have been killed by a ship. Well yeah, because you know. He keeps having to hours because he's like, Oh, I could have been, you know, killed by like a ship.

Well, yeah, because you know, he keeps having to call ships and be like, hey, I'm coming like shipping channels. Yeah, occasionally. Don't run me over is what you keep saying. And the white guy, blonde hair. And I wondered where he beat it beat off. I didn't briefly wonder that I would. Why would you not stand on the front of the boat I like Titanic he's coming to the ocean. He's still a little ashamed. He's like I need to hide a lot right

He sees that he thinks people are still watching. I it's a surveillance state Bobby the oceans not safe Catches a big seat. I was like I'll jerk off in your mouth I'm gonna hide it Well, I want to beat off because of the the birds the seagull lands. If your dick's out, there's birds swirling. They think it's an ice cream cone swooped down. Yeah, or just like a piece of imitation crab. I don't know what your penis looks like, but they dive right for it and take your dick off.

Do they? Your dick looks like a string cheese with an orange top on it. Mm-hmm. I talked to a guy who, an owl took his dog in this area. An owl took his little dog. In front of him, an owl swooped down and picked up his dog and he just watched.

He just, he watched it go and he just did this. And it just went with the dog and he just saw the dog like looking back at him. And the owl just like kept going and he just saw it disappear. Like it just kept flying until it was nothing. Literally nothing to do. Just watched it. Just watched it go.

Was it at night? It was like in the evening. Yeah. God damn. He was just sitting out. Yeah. And he had his whole backyard where the coyotes could get in and he was like, I'm good now. And then, and then now. Oh, damn you. It was like, no, you're not. It's like a little tiny piece of shit dog. It wasn't like a pit bull. Yeah. It was a Doberman. It was a German Shepherd. And the owl was just like fuck!

God damn it! It keeps dipping down. Yeah I mean an owl killed Kathleen Peterson from the staircase. That's right. Got on that damn staircase. Owls are evil. I'm not into them. But the guy in the ocean though, I commend this young man. It was crazy.

This was a dream of mine. I've talked about this before. Really, you wanted to sail? Yeah, I watched a documentary about a retarded guy who tried to sail around the world and like, I think his name was like Oliver Cromwell or something. Was he actually retarded? Yeah, he was like a compulsive liar

and he was trying to do this race where he sail. He was an English guy. He tried to sail around the world in this race. And he turned his GPS off like within like four hours because he was like he immediately didn't know what direction he was going. And then he just he kept lying the whole time and saying like he kept sending his coordinates like, I'm here, I'm here. And they're like, oh, my God, he's doing it in like record time.

And he was just doing circles in the Atlantic like this the whole time. And after 300 days, he like doing it in like record time and he was just doing circles in the Atlantic like this the whole time and after 300 days He like landed in South America and he tried to like befriend like these people in a village and they're like get the fuck Get the fuck back on your boat you you you you you retard like you're not you know You don't have a passport for this country. Then he had he kept just doing this and His family didn't know where he was and his kids didn't know where he was, and his kids didn't know where he was, and the country was like, he was so far ahead. But he kept plotting the whole time,

like I'm here, I'm going around Cape Horn, I'm doing this. He was lying the whole time. And his family was going on the news, like he, Oliver, he's always wanted to do this, and he never really amounted to nothing, but we believed in him and all the shifts. Meanwhile, he's reading Mad Magazine, he's got the paddle ball game in the middle of the shit. Meanwhile, he's like reading Mad Magazine, he's got like the paddle ball game

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What a dumbass what an idiot? Yeah, that sucks, but I always wanted to I was like, I wonder if I'm like, I want to kill myself that way. Well, it's like that's where there's a beautiful thing about looking around in your life and saying, where is the fear? And the fear for me would be be far from man out in this great loneliness. Sure. Of the ocean. What? Why do I fear that? There must be something I confront on that journey. If I did the whole trip and it took me 200 days or something,

I probably learn a hell of a lot. You might as well be in outer space, by the way. It's the same fucking thing. Right. Yeah. If you go 200 days, you're going to you're going to learn. You're going to confront some great thing within yourself. And that's been my goal since I was 18. And then I forgot about it when I was like 22, like everybody else.

Yeah, when you got sucked off for the first time, and you go, oh, that was really retarded. Yeah. Of like 12 through 18, like six through 12, I was like, I wanna be in the NBA, and I was like, that's not happening. And then 12 through 18, I was like, I wanna be on the PGA Tour,

and I was like, that's not happening. And then 18 through 22, I was like, I want to be on the BGA tour. And I was like, that's not happening. And then 18 to 22, I was like, I want to sail around the world and kill myself. And then in my 20s, I was like, I'll just podcast. That's truly every American man is your dream start out great. And then, yeah, just eventually fall solo. You can achieve. You got to call the NBA and golf gay. I'll call my dreams gay. I'll call them so actually Kind of twist my whole worldview that I'm wise and they suck. Yeah. Yeah, if you think about it

Yeah, I mean you should you should when you're like six you should be like I want to be an astronaut and I go to The moon you don't know you're like not brilliant yet, like in terms of like math and. Yeah. I suppose the astronauts have to be really smart. I'm not really sure why, because they kind of just shoot them up. They don't have to be, they just gotta be good actors. Yeah. And they have to, you know,

work with well with Stanley Kubrick. Pfft. Cause it was fake. Very good Devon. It was fake. People tell me, people go, oh you have to be so smart to be an astronaut. Well, then tell me why a chimpanzee can do it

They shoot monkeys into space folks. Yeah They tell me you gotta be smart they've shot monkeys into space Hey really You know what's funny is they shoot monkeys into space all the time to see what happens and then the monkey comes back down I'm like, well, what the fuck he's he's a monkey. Sometimes they also don't come down They're like we're setting it up and it'll it will die up there But when they first when they were first sending the first like shuttles in the space the Americans they were like gonna send people and They're like we're gonna like fucking kill a bunch of people

So they trained monkeys and they're like we're gonna reward the monkeys for pulling the levers We want when the lights go and the monkeys didn't get it So they just started electrocuting the shit out of them and that made the monkeys learn it very quickly. Okay. Yeah. We tried to be like ethical for like two weeks and then we're like fuck these stupid monkeys.

So they started shocking them with like electricity? Yeah, with electricity in the chair so that they would pull the certain levers they needed to pull. Well, did it work? You tell me. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't I just I don't understand why you have to be brilliant. It doesn't make any sense, especially you know what makes sense to me that movie. Did you ever see the movie Armageddon with Bruce Willis? Yes, of course. And Ben Affleck. Yeah, great movie. They're all like they're the Untouchables, right?

Basically, or not the Untouchables. They're the replacements. It's like the replacements, but with space. That was during the area of like replacements type movies. Yeah. I'm thinking of the right movie, right? Where the football team, like they're all. Yeah, yes, it's John Reeves, yeah.

Yeah, it makes sense that you can get like a jar head, a guy, you know, like this guy who's really sad. You take a bunch of ragtag team of guys, you could go up into space and like put a bunch of ragtag team of guys you could go up into space and like put a bunch of dynamite on a meteor and like blow it off course I don't see why that's so hard. What is with me these meteors like they're never coming and you know it's always like a parent fear but like so I actually looked into this the other day where do these why are you in the same

way how come meteor yeah I know what's going on with us I literally didn't talk about any of this recently. You guys are like developing like a similar psychosis Yeah, fully I do together Really strange we have the same algorithm now to apparently but why do meteors like never? They say meteors hit all the time, but like in the desert and shit and plays it like they and they're little tiny guys Yeah, yeah, well, I didn't know that I so basically tiny tiny meteors so little baby guys earth is it's a it's really a miracle we're here at all right because we're in a Goldilocks zone we're all God's children Devin knows where I'm going with this I

pulled a King James version of the Bible you go you go Devin it would actually it would be more logical for a tornado to roll through a junkyard and assemble an aeroplane Than for life to exist on earth. That's pretty good. I've heard that one You didn't hear that. No, it's our youth pastor said that all the time And I think he hung himself because he fucked the kid but before that he used to love Making that argument for an intelligent Tail as old as time. Yeah. Yeah I'm a little bit of a

Tail as old as time. Yeah. Yeah No, I remember being a youth class and him being like, you know the junkyard thing and I was and I was like really The science I was like, well, you know, there's like a a trillion billion earth So like that actually even if it's more likely it would happen at some point because there's so many planets And he was just like you're really fucking gay. Shut the fuck up I think I actually looked into I think there's so many planets. And he was just like, you're really fucking gay. Shut the fuck up. I think I actually looked into it. I think there's really, there are like a trillion planets like Earth, but in terms of the odds of there being life forms on Earth,

like on a place like Earth, because it would be taken out by like solar flares or, so one of the reasons that we're even here at all, Devon actually, is because- Oh please, please explain to us on the Lemon Party podcast why we're here. What? I know the meaning of why.

Yeah, yeah, expert on the planet's magnetism and bluebell ice cream. Okay. Carry on. Bluebell tastes just like the good old days. Jupiter actually absorbs all the meteors that would hit Earth and take it out. So you need a planet like that

in a certain distance away from Earth that it can catch all the big guys that would, I mean, cut us in half like a Kill Bill Katana. It would just, straight through the fucking middle. We actually yeah, they saw a meteor in like 93 that like was a planet killer basically, and it just Jupiter went right in front of it. Oh, so Jupiter like helps us. It always absorbs it.

It's a big gas thing. Nice. Good for you. But I think if everybody in America once shot the meteor like as it was, I think we could blow it up. Yeah, all shot. Would we do that that we would just like fire at it right like you know what would happen we'd fire one shot and then we'd all freak out just start shooting each other yeah yeah we're all dying while it's coming mm-hmm yeah I mean I just I don't know we just have we'd have to ask Adam McKay what he would do don't look up now and goes, well I would actually ruin my career

with some bad movies over 10 years. I think, supposedly, so one time I remember in Bible class we were like 13, and Jason you're 15, because you were two years older than me. That's right, that's correct. And the youth minister was like, let's say right now, we got a message that Russia launched a, and I don't know why this was even brought up,

launched a nuclear attack on the United States and a nuclear weapon was coming over here. And he was clearly probably able to ask a question, how many people, would you have to repent? Would you feel like you're going to heaven, blah, blah, blah? And some guy raised his hand, he's like, we would just shoot it down. after a pint, would you feel like you're going to heaven? Blah, blah, blah. And some guy raises his hand, he's like, we just shoot it down.

And then Jace literally goes like this, he goes, with what? I don't remember this. Yeah, you like very- Just so frustrated at the retardation. You couldn't hold it in anymore. I know, it truly, it was brutal, man, growing up in that environment. I literally remember I was like very into science. If I know, it truly, it was brutal, man, growing up in that environment. I literally remember I was very into science as a kid.

If I went to- Can we chew it down? Dude, I'm convinced if I got to go to some faggy Woody Allen high school in Manhattan, I would have been a scientist instead of a podcaster. I was very into science. I remember walking into school one day with a book called Phantoms in the Brain

that was like- Dr. Ramachandra. Dr. Ramachandra. I read it too, yeah. Who was studying phantom limb syndrome in patients Brain that was like... Dr. Ramachandra. Dr. Ramachandra. I read it too, yeah. Yeah, who was studying phantom limb syndrome in patients and it was really interesting. And I remember walking into school halfway through the book and a kid stands up and he goes, hey, Jace has got a phantom in his brain.

He's a phat. And people cheered and laughed. Pretty good. And applauded. That is actually all right. Yeah. I mean, bad. That sucks. my now. He's owning you again 20 years into the future is out. Well the grave is owning me. He's a phantom now

It jokes on him because all his limbs were blown off in Iraq. So who's got the last laugh? Yeah, damn that is I don't remember that story though, but I think I looked it up once and I was like, Oh, we can't shoot it down. But I'm a retard, too. I was like, of course, we'll shoot it down. Yeah. I thought we in my head, there's like a Dr. Evil laser that comes out of like Mount Rushmore and can like shoot down. Ronald Reagan literally proposed the Star Wars program in the 80s, where he's like, we'll just shoot it down with a big laser in space. And they're like, yeah, that's not you're a fucking you're a retarded actor.

That's not real. That's something from a James Bond movie. Because I've yeah, I've heard something like that. I just thought we had it. What if we give the meteor crack? What if Rock Hudson could fuck the meteor and then it would get AIDS and die? Yeah, interesting.

I guess we can't shoot it down. No, I don't think we have any recourse really. We don't have like a big bubble. We can't live in a big bubble, so I guess we're just fucked. Well, fucking Israel will be fine. Devin. Devin. Because of their dome.

Ooh. That wasn't a race joke. Their big iron dome. Yeah. That wasn't a race joke. Oh, no, no, wasn't a race. Oh, no. No, I was Assuming that was a sort of does it be insane if I was like all the Jews own the new That's the most the Jews own meteors Yeah, they own meteorite

I guess that is the weather technically because a meteor can affect like probably like the oceans or whatever Gives a shit There's another interesting one where you know the only reason we're protected from solar Flares from the Sun is because of the earth's magnetic field is Shaped in such a way that a big solar flare comes up and should just burn all of life on earth Completely to a crisp, but it hits that magnetic field and then goes on either side of the earth And that's what the aurora borealis is oh yeah, I saw a video of that It's interesting how it shoots, and then it comes back

Yeah, yeah the aurora borealis sounds like a really fucking cool like like I like tropical island Yeah, that I want to are very very Yeah, very athletic black stripper She gave baron davis herpes Aurora borealis yeah, she pokes a hole in your condom a NBA all-star weekend She treats your condom like a go-gurt just riding through her pussy You guys think you'll regret like like, not seeing all that shit? Like when you're dead, you're on a deathbed and you're like,

I never saw there were a borealis. I never saw like the pyramids. I never saw type in picture of it right now on Google images. Boom. There we go. Next. I did have that moment when the big when the total eclipse hit Texas outside Dallas and I saw it. You got to see it was awesome.

I know. I know. I it. You got to see it. It was awesome. I know. I know. I thought it was going to be gay. I know. I was literally like I told Kelly. I was like, let's get plane tickets. I go, you know, I was literally saying, I go, you only live once. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Like, I want to see this. I don't want to like waste these opportunities before I die.

And then I was looking at plane tickets. I go, yeah, seven hundred dollars. It's a bunch of shit. Who even gives a fuck? Yeah, no, they're the eclipse happened like what a month and a half ago one of them. Yeah, yeah I flew to Texas. Yeah, they keep acting like they're gonna. Yeah. Yeah, I remember you were and I was I was in no Go ahead make fun of me. No, no, that's fine. Go ahead. Go make fun of me for loving life. Go ahead No, please continue with your nihilist bullshit. No, you're doing poorly financially

and you have the money to fly to Texas to look at the sky. I get it. It's my right as a Texas to Texan to look at the sun. Damn it. I was in my. Did you get really scared because the sun was black for five minutes? I'm looking up, I'm like, oh, man, it's not hurting my eyes anymore. My eyes ain't tingling no more because it's moving in front of me. Yeah, honey, I'm going to go man, it's not hurting my eyes anymore. My eyes ain't tingling no more

because there's something moving in front of me. Yeah, honey, I'm gonna go outside and bake my eyes. Tell him, I gotta wait for the diabetes to do it. Yeah, it was happening, I woke up, I was watching TV and I was like, oh, it's a little dark outside kinda, and I walked outside and I can't really look up, I don't have the glasses or whatever, and I was just like, yeah, I's a little dark outside kinda, and I walked outside and I can't really look up, I don't have the glasses or whatever,

and I was just like, yeah, I didn't really quite know where it was, and I literally walked back inside and kept watching TV. Because it keeps happening, these things keep happening. But then you wouldn't just watch it on CNN or something. No, I literally, I think I put on just an episode of Breaking Bad or something.

I probably put on How to Rob a Bank on Netflix about the Hollywood bank robber in Seattle who had a really great story. I tried. Much better story than the stupid thing blocking the sun. It's so funny what we spend our time doing. I'll go on Wikipedia and I'll be like, what's the history of the doorknob?

I'm like, interesting, how about that? Just scrolling. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I. Huh, how about that? Just scrolling. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna call you back. I'm looking up Philip Baker Hall's filmography. Yeah, like literally shoot like that. Literally shoot like that, yeah. I've literally got a call from my girlfriend.

I'm like, I was Googling Philip Seymour Hoffman. You bitch. How dare you interrupt me? How did Paul Thomas Anderson get all the actors for Heart Eight? Yeah. How did Paul Thomas Anderson get all the actors for Heart 8? Yeah, I was getting answers from Google's AI machine. No, I'm not. I'm Joe. I care about stuff like that when it feels right. But I don't know. It felt like it felt like the it felt like these eclipses.

It was like enough already. Yeah. I remember the one under Trump. 2017. Yeah. Like I felt like I remember this one was insane, though. What was the best? Ben saw the total. Oh, I saw the total one, which was crazy. Which is supposed to be like one of the most insane things you can witness. Like it got dark, dark in the middle of the dark, dark. And then there was crazy.

The flares, the flares coming out. It was wild. That's cool. It felt like this. You felt connected to like all of it was like a 2001, a space Odyssey moment where you felt connected to like what did like the monkey guys think when they looked up from like banging rocks together. You truly got to actually witness how small and inconsequential you are. Right. Yeah.

But there's these huge satellites, these gods floating above you. In L.A., it just kind of felt like a fire was happening and it was like a dark Yeah, but there's these huge satellites these gods floating above you in LA It just kind of felt like a fire was happening It was like a dark out like slightly little smoky I tried to get into it because I like space stuff and I poked the little hole in the piece of paper and I Hold it up and it was like there's a little dot that looked like a eclipse and I go. Oh, okay Well, how do you look at this fucking sucks the special glasses? You put a little hole a pinhole in a piece of paper and then you hold that up

And it creates a camera obscura. No, I just looked at it. Well, you could because you're in the total baby Look at it, too. Yeah, you're in the total. That's why you think you're eating, right? You can look at it in the total clips if I looked at it It would literally bake the inside of my eyes because it's still half. That's what you think. Yeah They you know what skyrocketed during the total the solar eclipse by the way, but you the eye pain Yeah, the Google search that it was why do my eyes hurt so bad? That was like the top Google Anytime there's an eclipse in America, it's the chart of when the search is spiking. And every eclipse, it just hits a thousand percent

of what it normally is. And it says, eyes feel bad, why? Yeah. That's great. They can't put a connection between them looking at the fucking sun and why their head hurts. Yeah.

And then they just walk in they go they go Kim my grandson Can you Google why my eyes hurt? Can you make the magic box? Ask it what happened how come regular sunglasses don't just work with that. It's it's just too intense. It's too intense Yeah, Devon makes a good point. I don't get it brilliant point. What do you put on like? What if you put on like three pairs of sunglasses? It's got to be the same right if you put on three pairs It's actually totally fine. Let me ask you this. They won't fuck you up at all.

What if you wore a thousand pair of sunglasses? Would it be like it's really dark out? You'd be so cool, you wouldn't even look at the eclipse. You'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm getting so much pussy, I don't care about the sun. Let me put on my 1,000 pair of sunglasses. Did you really look at it? Yeah, I baby look at it too. I was like, look, look. Do you guys have at it? Yeah, I had my baby look at it too.

I was like, look, look. Did you guys have the glasses? No, we just looked at it. They didn't need it because the sun was completely 100% covered where they were. I was in the small path of the total solar. It's like a 20 mile path that you have to be in for it to be perfect and very different.

I was out on a farm. It was a beautiful thing. We were out in the high grass and then we went in and ate Blue Bow after we stared at the sun. That sounds lovely. It was a great time. I do love Texas. Missed that place.

I bet you do. Love Texas. I enjoy it. That's why you're ruining so hard for the Mavs right now. I'm over that. They've really been sucking at it. What, this is all you've been, you sit at the edge of my couch watching the man.

Well, they get fucking lost the other night. Jace was over and we watched it and they fucking lost. And it sucked. And I'm done. They've lost three times in a row. They're finished. Yeah. Now I think they're cowards and I hate they're finished. Yeah. I'll never watch them. But that guy Jokic, he's pretty good.

That's not the guy. Don't you. Luca Donchich. You're still out. He's so racist, he refused to identify any NBA player correctly even the white ones Yeah, he's like I gotta mix them up. I don't know. I mean I It is funny. I worship Jason kid. I thought he was white and then Devin told me I literally we both have the same thing I thought he was white until this week. I thought he was like a wigger guy. I thought he was Italian Yeah, yeah, yeah, no idea. His dad looks like R.L. Burnside.

You know, he showed me early pictures of Jason K before he was on the Nets. And it's insane how different he looks. Yeah. If you look up a picture of his dad, his dad looks like he cooks ribs inside of a filing cabinet. He's so black. He thought he was white because he never dunked.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. I don't know. He just seemed like a guy that wanted to be black to me sure Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah, I don't know his facial hair was never black either. I Get it. Also his name isn't when he was bald and stuff. He just kind of I guess looked like a white guy But he's nice. He's he's got he's black. Yeah. No, he definitely is. I know that now. I apologize

yeah, cuz he was like he was in the we were seeing footage of him in the, talking to his players and stuff. He's like, we gotta go out there and we gotta, and he was doing that and I was like, oh, what is he doing right here? And you're like, he's black. Oh, I had no idea.

I genuinely had no idea that he can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's also funny, I don't think he gives, I don't think in the huddle he sounds like that. He had a little, he had a little stank on everything he was saying. I think you saw basketball in a little change just the way you hear Sam.

I don't think he was like, y'all gotta get backs on defense. Yo, I'm Jason Kiz, and shit. He goes, yo, Jay Kiz here, your coach. Jay Kiz, shoot the three! Shit! He beat his wife back in the day. Yeah, that's how you know he's black.

And then he devoted every free throw to her and he would kiss and blow a kiss into the sky for his wife. Yeah, to his stupid shitty wife. Speaking of Dallas and speaking of wives, by the way, can I show you guys this video of... Please, whatever. All right. What is it?

Devin is a willing man, that's what I love about Devin. Devin's right or die. I'm in. It's a beautiful thing. Devin doesn't need any context. I'll try anything. You really will. Visually? It's a beautiful thing. I'll try anything.

I love being, the world is our oyster. Not me, I say no immediately. I'm usually right. Oh yeah, it could be. I don't know, now I might be regretting what I just agreed to. You're right, I'm gonna sit and live. I'm gonna be a coward and I'm gonna live

to an old age doing nothing. It's gonna be beautiful. So you know that guy, Hubbs Life, that I fucking went off on the Patreon the other day? Oh yeah, that boring nine to five guy. Yeah, the boring guy. The guy that's like normalized the norm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People think he's a hero because he like has morning routines or whatever. Right. So he's been building up to this chapter of his about him being a new dad. Is he like depressed? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, he's been doing like last Saturday with the boys

and having a cold snack. Remember he calls beers cold snack and he has a whole merch company. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to be an influencer and he failed and he went back to work at this company and then started posting like, I don't even want to be an influencer. Actually, I just appreciate my stupid little life in Dallas, Texas where I make $270,000 a year and have great health benefits and I have a house with AstroTurf and beautiful hypoallergenic dog and my wife's beautiful.

It's not too bad having a life that 99% of the world would kill their dad to have. It's not all tough breaks. People go, thanks for the reminder that it's okay to be perfect. You know, it's not all tough breaks. And people go, thanks for the reminder that it's okay to be perfect. Hey man, I needed to be reminded it's okay to be the president of my dad's paving company at 23. I thought that sucked. Yeah, don't need to be Andrew Tate.

Yeah. Who's saying the N-word a lot on Twitter lately, by the way. I did not expect that of him. What? Anyway, yeah, Andrew Tate, he just, his whole thing, I mean, he gets attention by, he tweets, I'm the N word hard R, and it's just a video of him smoking a cigar, and it gets like, you know, four,

if you say the N word, you immediately become a viral celebrity now. You see the white lady who said the N word, and. Oh, right, that, yeah. Now she's like a social media star, she got fired from her job, she probably has a GoFundMe from the Westboro Baptist Church for like $40 million, because she said the N word. that, yeah. Now she's like a social media star, she got fired from her job. She probably has a GoFundMe from the Westboro Baptist Church for like $40 million,

because she said the N-word. Sure, right. Because people can't stand when a white woman says the N-word. Yeah. But they get so mad, it's just, then they get, they automatically, the other side then just gives them shit loads of money for having said the N-word.

It's such a useless retard culture. Yeah. Anyway. When I was trying to get my Twitter account unsuspended, they're like, you have to tweet the N-word. It's such a useless retard culture. Yeah. When I was trying to get my Twitter account unsuspended, they're like, you have to tweet the N-word, and that's how you get it unsuspended. Then Elon will personally turn it back on himself. Yeah, Elon will turn a big key at X hat quarters. Yeah, the fart noise in Teslas is now the N-word.

Was there a fart noise in Teslas? I think that's, there's a lot of absolute dipshits out there that find that so amusing and they buy them for it. As a former Tesla leaser. Man, you really have fallen from a Tesla leaser to a Toyota Sierra owner. Sienna. Sorry. God damn you.

You can get a Tesla again now. Yeah, Devin was trying to talk me into... Dude, these used Teslas that I'm looking at, I don't want a Tesla. I don't like them, but my car is rapidly failing and I can't park on hills anymore. I crash into the cars behind me and I saw Tesla used Teslas for like twenty thousand dollars with like four thousand dollar like tax rebate. It would be funny if you bought a used Tesla and it was it was your own Tesla that you had to give back Leasing it. Yeah. Yeah, you found gummy bears under the seat. You're like this is mine These are my gummy. Yeah, my Taco Bell is still like my my sodas in the cup holder I take it on I sip it. I'm like, that's my order

I'm like who else would have left the flat suicide in the cup holder from Taco Bell. You're an Indian tracker for fast food garbage. You go, a gamer was here. This fucking guy, OK, he's been building up this where I'm like, surely, because I know what it's like to be a new dad, right? This guy, I'm like, he's not going to keep up this routine where he constantly films himself doing boring stuff throughout his day, picking up his keys, doing doing this, doing this, doing that, making breakfast. And everybody says he's so inspiring.

I'm like, surely he's not going to be doing this every day, the fucking day he has a baby. Surely he's just gonna enjoy the day, not be on social media, not be fucking editing content in the hospital. But here we go. Morning routine of a brand new dad. He's in the hospital. Yeah, this is literally the first day

his child has been alive. And he's doing like, dad mode engaged. Like immediately like, yep, this is part of my brand now. Here we go. Just a man sponsored by DraftKings. Yeah, a man designed by the CIA to get people who are accountants addicted to online gambling. I love that this guy is like literally it's it's the hospital where his baby's born. His his wife is lying in the bed.

He went in the bathroom, put a tripod up. Yep. To film himself shooting finger guns. That's what everyone. It's on a tripod. Yes, everyone These people are setting up the shots anytime you see a guy doing something and he's not in it Yes, there's literally a sad moment where he gets out of his car and he stands around for 34 seconds As simple and read does it and he does it anytime you see a travel vlog keep in mind that those people aren't just like Okay, so I guess this this stater brother It's kind of empty parking on a little empty

They they're setting up shots every time when they raise when they do the classic like it's they're being filmed while they're waking up And they're like okay First day on vacation hearing it's a perfect set of makeup that I slept in what'd you do you woke up three out you woke Up in the middle of the night turn the camera on so It could catch you waking up get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he's all he's doing this cuz he's like I gotta get that happy dead seltzer. Yeah sponsorship. It's common. I could feel it. Yes 400,000 subs Yeah, I'm getting that you also you also know he was trying to film this He set the tripod up and the baby kept crying so he had to go into the other room like Harriet Tubman and just like Just hold its nose until it like passed out putting tape over the baby kept crying, so he had to go into the other room like Harriet Tubman and just like fucking, shh, just hold its nose until it like passed out. Putting tape over the baby's mouth.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm pretty sure everybody fucking hates that they're like, really, really? Dude, you're still doing this? Dad mode. Watch, because his family's in this and they don't look happy that he's doing like his influencer bullshit on the day of his son's birth. and they don't look happy that he's doing his influencer bullshit

on the day of his son's birth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Campton is the son's name. Campton? Campton. Should've just named it Zinn. Named it Zinn Barstool. He still has to stay in brand by finging Netflix.

Whoa, go back, was he watching Green Book? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's watching some shit like that. I can't rewind a short unfortunately. That was Green Book. Those are literally the guys where they're like, dude, I watched Green Book, changed a lot of things that I thought. It made me not racist for like nine hours. A guy unchanged by the birth of his son on the day. He's like, I'm a foot on Netflix.

Let's see. I want season four up to five of like, something. He's going through his queue. He's like, no, I've already been meaning to get to that, something. He's going through his queue. He's like, no, I've already been meaning to get to that. Yeah, let's check it out. Filling up his cup of- Coffee for you, boy. Damn, dude, it's like his other morning routine videos.

Skin to skin cuddles and then eat breakfast and feel it for the day, right? He's like, still gotta get my protein, gotta get my macros. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I don't think we can have you talk to Nana. Nana's gonna teach you your first slur.

I love that Nana came in, she's like, Nana's gonna teach you your first slur. Well, it's still that Dallas, Texas Nana. Yeah. Evening routine if I need that. You can tell with the wife turning around, she's like, I's that Dallas Texas Dana. Yeah. Evening routine. You could tell with the wife turning around. She's like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. The wife had like a thing over her head.

Like she's like, I'm Muslim now. Like I hate you. You're such a shitty husband. It's like prison. I converted to Islam and joined the Aryan brotherhood. You're such a shitty husband. Swaddle baby Campton. Fucking Campton.

Campton? Filming the Mexican bringing steak that doesn't speak English. This is my son, Ariad. And he's still binge watching something called Your Honor on Netflix. Yeah, it's a hunk of shit show for retards. Those guys love Your Honor on Netflix. Yeah, it's a hunk of shit show for retards. Those guys love Your Honor. This dude's, I hate, all I do is watch his stuff and I get furious.

It's my new thing. I just, I can't stand it. You know what, you know what makes you so mad? It's because it's like somebody, I showed you a George McFly version of your life. Yeah. Yeah. If you didn't get into comedy. Yeah, you turned Jace down. Sorry, I forgot. I. Yeah. If you didn't get into comedy.

You turned Jace down. Sorry. I forgot. All right. I get it. I'm bombing. Sorry. He's like, let me fix that. No, he's still like the family's coming over and cooking. And he's still he's filming the whole thing. Stop. Is he eating? Oh, that's pasta. OK. Who's watching a damn show? He's always binge watching Netflix.

Evening routine is a brand new dad. Tuck him in his snuggle. Show love to Benny. My firstborn Benny, his dog. His shitty dog. Making himself pasta dinner. I've exhausted myself already like ranting about this guy, but it's just, it's, I'm like, surely it can't go on.

Surely it can't fucking go on. Are you kidding me? It's never gonna stop. Of course it's gonna go on. No, it's gonna be like five years from now. He's like, at the divorce proceedings, wife took everything made as the finger guns in the mirror. Yeah.

It's so funny to be like, it's okay to not be an influencer who makes millions of dollars. Here's my merch. Cold snacks. Here's my merch and my brand. Here's my sold out merch. I am normal. Look, $30 for a cold snacks beer glass.

Who relates to this guy? Dallas, Texas, suburb, white dudes. Retards. It's like men that go to Pier One Imports. Yeah, okay. Exactly, though. Yeah, it's men that buy the jar of pickled peppers that you never use, you put on your countertop.

By the way, here's why being a... He's like a Traeger grill of a human. Ha ha ha! Here's why. Here's why being an influencer didn't work out the first time. Yeah, I think he talked to his videos. Here's a cameo. What's going on, Alex, Greg, Goot, Steve Shapiro.

Hope I said that right, guys. What I just want to hope you guys a Merry Christmas. Oh, it's a cameo. You guys are drinking a lot of cold snacks today. You guys have a fucking. He's like that. Yeah, that guy's dead. Yeah, that guy's that guy died years ago. He looks like a ghost Let's keep normalizing the norm guys appreciate the love this is literally the normalizing the normalizing the norm

This is the eyes you see right before a man cuts you in half in a hotel You know it's sadder is the people that asked for that cameo should be lined up and shot like that scene in The Pianist. And they run out of bullets for the one guy and they load it and he thinks maybe he got away with it and they still shoot. I love the idea of rounding up white people in Dallas and their chain gain songs is they're singing all the commercials they love.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're in like all the commercials they love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like in the labor camp. Yeah. Yeah. Blue band taste just like the good old days. Just hitting a rock with a big hammer. To Wapa Jr. for just five dollars. With a big sledgehammer breaking up the rock. I wish I knew local Texas.

Well, a little bit of chicken fry. Clank. Oh, man. Our ancestors wrote that song and it lives in our veins. Your great-grandpappy, we all forgot to read. Not before the slavery. We were just really retarded. But we've slowly been reteaching ourselves through coarse cans how to read and write.

Oh, that's crazy. I'm so tired of this, by the way this new meme of like just two to three beers Just my typical two to three beers such a personality now It is having beer it is literally people don't realize five years from now This is gonna be epic bacon for the win. Yeah, the exact same Such losers and have zero personality they stop at three beers because four they get a personality and they like start Talking I started saying things I believe yeah developing thoughts they stop at three beers because four, they get a personality and they like start enjoying and talking. I started saying things I believe and developing thoughts.

Exactly. Corona premiere with your pasta, fuck you, faggot. That sucks. Devin isn't faking it, I can tell in his tone. That really sucks. It really sucks ass, right? You're eating pasta but your beer can't have too many carbs in it.

Shut the fuck up. It's actually also irresponsible. I kind of, you know what it is? It's like when a black person sees a rapper be like, fuck bitches, shoot gangsters and shit, it's that for white people, where I'm like, stop encouraging our people to suck ass. I guess we kind of do that though

This guy goes to La Madeleine and thinks he's in Paris. Yeah He pronounces croissant wrong yeah that one Madeline let me get a croissant Sky this guy apparently flew to New York and hung out with Gary Vee by the way. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right Normalize the door this guy I guarantee was an extra at the end of Wolf of Wall Street where he's in the crowd listening to Jordan Belfort talk He's a moron. Yeah, dude. I think there's more I think I can watch more cameos that he does I Got way more reviews than he does on cameo, by the way. Here's another one Steve oh, I know this is the only one so one

One guy got it got a cameo from him, and you know what it was probably a prank because they all hate him so much Got it. He got it as a bit. Yeah got your ass bitch got your ass. I got you sucking You're boring just like this guy. Hey guys is Alex here. Hope you have a lot of cold snacks. You're normalizing the norm Best night of his life is when he went to the Alamo draft house and saw Top Gun or mozzarella sticks, dude That's literally that was that that crazy. That was the most cultured night of his life He was walking through the halls of the Alamo draft house like whoa, there's like other of these There's like other movies made. Mm-hmm

Yeah, they go on his desk There's movies with people not named goose on his on his deathbed. They go. What's the best moment in your life? He goes man the day that New Texas Roadhouse opened down my street. It was the best day of my fucking life See that's this guy. This guy is why I wanted to hate Glen Powell is because he's their hero He is you know, cuz he's from UT right He is, because he's from UT, right? He's from Austin. Yeah, UT Austin, yeah. He's insanely good looking.

I think, here's my thought, I think he literally looks at Glenn Powell like he's Woody Allen. He's a Miles Teller man. He's an avant-garde. Yeah, he goes, he literally is like, I love Miles Teller, except that faggy drum movie. He made that's

Was that I liked when the when the coach said fag yeah, he watches only the brave and just yeah acts off Yeah, miles teller shitty acting a guy who loved the fantastic four Yeah with miles the miles teller one wasn't it the fantastic for he goes. I'm sure those people dislike that movie. It was fantastic What are they talking about actually? This is this is the guy cuz me and Devon were in our hotel room late at night in Philly after the end of the tour and Devon ordered me a bunch of butter chicken and Devon was Devon was drunk screaming at John on the phone something. No, I heard you guys through the wall Yeah, it's like four in the morning

Yeah, the light all the lights on it was funny hearing you guys through the wall. Yeah, it's like four in the morning. Yeah, the light all the lights on it was funny Hearing you guys through the wall. It sounded like the prison scene in Goodfellas where they're all cooking fucking an Italian dinner All I heard was eating noises and screaming and slurs To like the worst movies I've ever seen you put on like a magician movie with Jesse Eisenberg Well, it's very funny. Now you see me two of the worst movies I've ever seen. You put on like a magician movie with Jesse Eisenberg. Well, what's very funny is. Oh, now you see me? No, no, but our TV looked like it had been

struck by lightning or something. It was such a shitty part. It was the airport hotel. Ran by that Indian guy. Yes, it sucked so much ass, dude. There was food carts in the hall of the hotel. It was so bad. It was the worst place I've been. And the food we got was fucking atro hotel. It was so bad. It was the worst place I've been.

And the food we got was fucking atrocious. It was so bad. I was eating butter chicken on my belly with like naan and shit. Ben literally like left most of it untouched. I had to walk in in the morning to give you guys the rental car keys before I flew out. And I walked in and you had like that butter chicken sauce

just all over your bedspread. Yes. My bed was like orange. Dude, it looked like you fucked an orange. It was insane Oh, it literally it looked like the horse had seen in the Godfather Ben like somebody like was like intimidating them then wakes up screaming because he ruined half of the butter chicken He sees he spilled it he goes He sees he spilled it and he goes, ah, ah! The movie I put on though, was Now You See Me,

and we were like, who the fuck? We knew it existed, of course we never saw it in theaters, like, you know, holy fuck. But like, who see, this. This guy. This guy goes and sees it and goes, dude, now you see me? Pretty good. He's like, it wasn't bad. It was goes and sees it and goes, dude, now you see me? Pretty good.

He's like, yeah. It wasn't bad. It was kind of like a mind fuck because sometimes you didn't see them. But it's like called Now You See Me, but I can't. It's like a double meaning from magicians and shit. Yeah, it's like they did the Abra but no Kadabra. You know?

Which by the way, Eminem's new song, Houdini. Shout out Eminem. Shout out Eminem, 2017 Eminem 2017 Eminem greatest rapper of all time Shout out TJ Maxx music Just a guy a guy who thinks like he's like now you see me it was kind of like Inception but with magicians Yeah, you didn't know what was it like? That tells you about sequels to movies you have you can't comprehend exist and you've never once heard of. Have you seen Ted Seven? You're like, what?

And then you like Google, you figure out like they made ripoff Ted's just like the universe. Alabama, it's like on crackle. Yeah. But how did you how did you find this is streaming on Redbox? You have to stand in front of the Redbox and watch it. You can't get the DVD Yeah, me and Devin couldn't believe now you see me was a real movie We were screaming like what the fuck is this and then you put on like under the skin What was that fucking under the summer?

Scarlett Johansson where she's an alien and she has guys That movie she was like on the beach is murdering men. I just remember passing out with like horrible Indian food on my chest as a. Yeah, it was pretty cool because she's really hot. She's an alien and she lures men into a big pool of black cum and then they die and explode. That's the movie. That is the plot of the movie.

Right. That's the movie. Right. Yeah. She shows her titties in her ass in it, which is pretty cool. She does. Oh, oh, yeah. You fell asleep because you're gay. You? Yeah, she shows her titties in her ass in it, which is pretty cool. She does? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You fell asleep because you're gay. You didn't want to see your titties. God damn me.

What's wrong with me? Yeah. But I don't care for that movie so much. Anyway, Devin, any last turds before we fly off to London as we wrap up here and head into a Patreon episode? No, we got to record again on, I'm not leaving until Monday. Devin's recording nine episodes in four days. I'm recording two today, two tomorrow,

three on Saturday, and two on Sunday. You're like the little Wayne for podcasts. You just go insane. I'm in the lab. Like I'm on the tour bus just like making songs. Devin's dying of kidney failure while we put him in front of another microphone The scissor is right in my spine

You're like a 16 tons. How about that? Huh the Tennessee Ernie Ford song? 16 tons. What do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt st. Peter. Don't you call me cause I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store. Burner, narrow, narrow, narrow, narrow, narrow, narrow. Man, I love me goes. Come on, you know, you know, you don't know that. That's we're going to listen to my dad.

You supply time 16 times by Tennessee Ernie Ford. It's a hit from like 1952. It's about a guy in a factory and he just can't get ahead because the boss man is paying him pennies on the dollar. Yeah. And he owes all his money to the company store because he's got to like rent his supply and after work, he just needs a cold snack. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, store because he's got to like rent his supply and after work he just needs a cold snack yeah go for a walk with Benny yeah our dad a hop of allogenic dog and a

$450,000 mortgage where are your dad's roofing company is Dallas like one of the only places people have homes in yeah pretty much one of the last day and it seems I'm very House looks like it's about $600,000 as astroturf and it's fucking it's really pretty and you know, he's making the kind of money He's gonna be able to put a pool in in like seven eight months and then it's gonna up the value like another like Thank you. Look like this way. It's like giving a diamond ring to a dog. He's not gonna he doesn't have the brain to appreciate anything This is why I'm mad. Yeah, he's he's actually really enjoying it all no Yeah, he's you saw you saw those dead bug eyes on the cameo now. He these literally that guy's not alive

I think he literally walks into the on every Friday He walks into the bathroom at work And he just starts cutting the inside of his arm where his wife can't see it Yeah, because he can't take it anymore He literally was tell yourself whatever story you gotta tell yourself, man I think he literally signed up for better help to admit he wants to murder his baby And there's a guy in India going like sir, please do not do not kill babies Please have cold snacks sir Do not I?

Don't know. It's just it really sucks that Amongst his because guys like this literally have 3,000 friends somehow they have the biggest friend groups of all time and they go play bar trivia Beatles have a lot of friends. So, you know, it makes sense. Yeah, they're high. There's many in their high. Yeah. Yeah, exactly You know it makes sense. Yeah, they're high there's many in their high. Yeah, exactly Yeah, he he's the coolest fucking guy where people go dude don't a party on Friday hubs life is coming You know hubs life. Don't embarrass me hubs life where your good snap back dude hubs It's actually let me show you and they start scrolling they go. It's actually like there's actually pretty good Yeah, it's kind of like sometimes

It's like kind of funny like sometimes he puts like a joke in there about like having cold snacks Which is beer dude. It's cuz I I drink beer cuz I Dude, it's funny cuz I drink beer every night because my life is built in a way that makes me scream inside And I can't let it out. It's not the worst way to go is that four beers a night if you can do it No, it's a way to get through life But don't you know fucking turn into Walt Whitman for the American fucking nightmare, you know Mm-hmm. Don't write leaves of grass for fucking you know, the Chipotle employees What are you talking about? Like just be like it sucks. It sucks. Yes. I want to kill myself every day

But I'll drink four beers. I'll make a lot of money and then one day my kids will leave They'll go to NYU and then get fucked in the ass by a 45 year old man because they hate me leaves of snacks very good very good yeah well shit man I don't know the poem I tried to I always every now and we'll get out of here quickly I I always sometimes I try to read like great poems that I got like four lines in and like what the fuck is going on Yeah, I give up. I have leaves of grass and I've tried many times. I tried it the last month I opened it and I was like it was like I celebrate myself I sing a song of myself and I'm like, okay

I'm liking this and then you get four lines you guys fucking this sucks ass. It keeps going Yeah, I was like I thought it was gonna be eight lines or something. Like that's a poem supposed to be. It's like pages. It gets like 20 pages or something. Yeah I don't I don't get poetry. I drew I I really honestly I do not get it at all. Where's the beat? Stop being so gay when there's like those poems like The plums in the ice box by William Carlos Williams What's like I ate your plums in the ice box that you were waiting for in the morning They were delicious. That's one of the most celebrated American poems of all time. Yeah, I don't get that's the whole poem I don't know people I like great prose epics. I like like Moby Dick that kicks ass to me or like

Other things. Yeah, because I don't just read Moby Dick all the time, like some psychopath. Sure. I like Ruby. Don't spread that rumor. I did just reread it again. I like Ruby Cower poems and stuff. Where it's like milk is honey and honey is tea. You dipped your milk into my honey

because you thought I was a bee, right, for the flower. As we go, we do not see, but as we see, we do not go. How can this flower spring when she gets herpes from someone at NYU who didn't call her back? I like little Wayne poetry like in the my you know my yearbook. You look at the kids that like quoted little Wayne it's like hot like fire cold like ice. Yeah. Like you're like wow you're gonna have a hell of a life. Yeah literally you should look at that and then just smash cut to the bars closing on their cell.

Their graduation, their yearbook quote is just DJ Khaled's air horn just a do do do do do. Yeah, they're like, live fast and leave a very bad looking corpse. Devin's favorite poet is lyricsgenius.com. You go, it's good poetry but the ads The thing is I'm not gonna give up on poetry because I like to surprise myself And you know as I age there's things that are very appealing to me that I thought you know I didn't once think I wanted a child. I didn't I didn't once find birds interesting

I didn't once ever want to read Moby Dick. I didn't once ever like like Indian food. used to hate Indian food. I had it once I thought it was like I thought it was kind of stinky Yeah, right. I've turned a new leaf on a lot of things. So I'm not ruling out poetry I'm gonna keep trying to read poetry. I've liked some poetry I've read for sure some of it kicks out sure but I've never been and when I sit down to read I never open a book Of poems. I always open a novel. I'm sure that's obviously great poetry out there, but most of it I've read it just, it just kind of feels like a, like a shield for a bad writer to be really vague.

And that allow you, it kind of feels like alt comedy or like a, like a, like a really weird alt move, like a, it's a kazoo instead of a pen. Abstract movie where like, it's like pretty much bad, but everyone, but it's so bad that people like have Dialogue a discussion about it. You can suck and just be like you don't get it. You don't get it. Exactly It's not for you. Mm-hmm. It's for no one cuz it sucks. How about I smoked that Kush and I ball like swish Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if did Emily Dickinson write that I didn't think so

She actually read you stole that from her. We did. There was a one year period where Emily Dickinson started fucking a black guy and she wrote a lot of, she wrote a lot. She wrote the Carter three. Yeah. Yeah.

Lean is the thing without feathers. Let the beat build by Emily Dickinson. That, wait, let the beat build. Bitch, how does it go again? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Devin told me, because I was listening to Carter III and I texted Devin,

I was like, it's fucking, it's so good. I never listened to it because all the guys that called me gay in high school that were racists loved the Carter, they just like Lil Wayne. They liked it ironically. They were like, he's so stupid.

He thinks he's wheezy. I like him because he represents the things I hate about black people. Yeah, I like him Ironically, they were like he's so stupid. He thinks he's wheezy I like him because he represents the things I hate about black people. Yeah, I like him because he looks like a raisin with dreads I'm not lying. They love little Wayne only they loved little Wayne. Yeah, I Literally was I've literally knew guys who would like Blair little Wayne while they rolled coal on a black guy like the one, they're like, what do you want to do Saturday night? Let's go listen to the Carter three and find the black kid and roll coal on him.

They're like two chains too and shit. Yeah. Like, he's like, drink a champagne on an airplane. They're like, haha. Yeah. Silly guy. Yeah, the amount of white guys I knew who were like, he bought, I bought a mansion in Wisconsin.

That's so funny. Yeah. That's so good. So Lil Wayne is like Willy Wonka to them pretty much. Like it's just like a cartoon of a guy. It's not real to them really. I get what you're saying. More of an Oompa Loompa,

cause he's tiny and insane. He's very tiny. Yeah. And Kanye's fingertips are all over that. But he does live in a chocolate factory. That he does. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Yeah, and a Kanye's fingertips, but he does a little chocolate factory that he did Kanye's fingertips are all over the album and I didn't realize that he had a great hand and make all the go If you're listening here, listen to the car the beat of let the beat build, you know, it's Kanye. It's gotta be Kanye

Oh, it's so good That's so good. I skipped to it. His sampling, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the Chipmunk Soul sampling. Yeah, that's how he should. That he was doing a lot back then. Mm-hmm.

Anyway, go listen to Wheezy. Support great artists. Wheezy F Baby. I don't think he's doing great, so go support him. Dedication 6 is one of the best mixtapes I've ever heard. Okay, I'll listen to that too. Thank you, Devin, for the homework. Yeah, it's great, it's fantastic.

It's his best rapping, I think, of his whole life. Came out like four, five years ago, that too. Yeah, great homework fantastic. Mm-hmm. It's his best rapping I think of his whole life came out like four five years ago. I think oh really six years ago So his best was ahead of him actually. Yeah, it actually is so good I was like did he have a writer did he somebody write this for him? Like it's great because he hasn't been inspired in a long time. I looked him up by the way He owes people millions and millions of dollars Like he has rappers on his album and like the he owes millions and royalties that he doesn't millions and millions of dollars. Like he has rappers on his album and like he owes millions in royalties that he doesn't pay out to people.

He owes millions to Robitussin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, he literally lives like, like pretty boy Floyd or something. He like drives in a big jalopy and shoots cows on the run from the police. Little Wade's amazing.

He's great. He's great. He's like baby face Nelson. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. All right. Well, patreon.com slash Lemon Party for more bonus content every week. God bless you.

Thanks for listening. Devon at Hate Watch Pro, Jsets, Hedrogs by Js. Oh, actually, you got banned or whatever. Yeah, I'm now just at Lemon Party show. I stole the show's Twitter, so I didn't go to zero followers. But you're going to get your other Twitter back. I don't think I will. Did you appeal to it?

Did you appeal? I appealed it about seven times, and nothing happened. I got no emails. It's like a reverse Nuremberg. Not testy enough. I literally tweeted at you, and I'm like, I will say it. Please, I'm banned. I'll do anything.

I'll do anything. I can't post I'll do anything. I'll do anything. I can't I can't post and get 20 likes. I kill myself It's miserable All right, well, we'll see you guys that we're going over the patreon now, so see you over there. Goodbye everybody bye I'm sorry. town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina W and evil, while casting a spell. My love was deep for this Mexican maid. I was in love, but in vain I could tell. One night a while, young Calmore came in,

Wild as the West Texas wind.