lemonparty - 088: Flabby Road

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

Support the show and get 50% off your first Factor box, plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/LEMON50 and use code LEMON502 more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty live dates: https://www.lemonparty.life/livedates ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery  website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I I watch the Hunger Games on the flight. Yeah. And I forgot about it. I was like, man, this it was like it was like affecting me. You forgot about it. Yeah, I just I forgot the what what the point of the Hunger Games was. And I was like, God damn, they're making these kids fight. These kids are so damn hungry. This is mean. What a crazy society. I would I want to watch the full games

That seems a little more wholesome to me check one. I was having like existential moments. I'm like I would like positive Mm-hmm. He's you know you just feel a vulnerable up in the air. Yeah, really? Yeah, it'll trick you into thing higher a terrible movie is a great is a masterpiece. Yep Yeah, I watched the movie called the perfect world with Kevin Cosner and I guess I knew that movie Yeah, but he's would I think he directed it. He stole he steals the kid and there's like a manhunt for yeah He's a he's an escaped convict He steals a kid and then like the kid just kind of hangs with him and kind of likes him and he's like kind of nuts But cool at the same time, right and he like hates bad dads

The end of the movie, it's like he gets taken in. Him and the kid are like, they fall asleep in a cornfield in the car and like a black like groundskeeper guy like stumbles upon them and is like, well, you guys could come in and have, you know, supper and you know, night stay and they're like, okay. And they're like being very hospitable to them. But then the dad just kind of smacks his kid on the head a few times

So Kevin Costner like ties up the whole family Ties up a black black family like the late 60s when the movie takes place Keeps holding a gun to the black dad's head. It's like insane. It's like this is the this is the message I love early 90s movies. They rule But his whole thing is he's like, I don't hate shitty dads. Right. His whole thing is like, I don't hate black guys, I hate shitty dads.

His whole thing is I hate shitty dads, but the only dad they ever had him be that upset at was an old black friend. Is like an absent father. That's the movie. That's great. It's called The Perfect World because it was a world where that black guy was tied up with his family It's a way to tie up his whole family with him as well He abuses the dad scares the living shit out of him pulled a knife to his neck then

Then makes like the the mom and son who he like loves the son He was like dancing with them like minutes earlier and then makes them just like shut up earlier and then makes them just like shut up and he keeps holding a gun to this old terrified black guy's head. A guy like who literally like the Ku Klux Klan came out last week to scare him off the property. Nobody, no black boys farm in this county. Nobody smacks their kid in the head around me. It's amazing to like the screenwriter listened to that song by the talking heads, A Perfect

World and he just imagined a white guy holding a gun to a Black father's head he goes that's my screaming about how he hates bad fathers. That's my utopia He's making that some tea black father's bag. Yeah, like that's what David Byrne was singing about Yeah, but also the best part is the kid that he kidnapped who's with him Who's who's terrified the kid and that he kidnaps ends up shooting him to stop him from killing the black father yeah but the kid is dressed like Casper the ghost I watched that before I realized that black people have racism in their lives I didn't pick up on any of that yeah yeah Jesus that's funny but you watched that in the plane you thought that was

the best movie you'd ever seen I watched it on the plane and yeah, I was like, this is a classic. I gotta tell ya, we had a. They really showed that Buster Brown, the business. Me and Devin going to England, we had a good old racist time. Can I tell you, I was so jealous of you guys. I almost bought a ticket and then I remembered

I didn't have a passport and I felt, I was watching your guys' like squidward that squidward meme It's fun, it's a cool city, but you guys were doing a hate crimes in England well turns out we were in like the most We were in Muslim part. I was what they refer to as the ghetto Yes, everybody that I told where I was staying I was like I'm in East London like Bethnal Green like Hackney Which I loved I had a great time. We had a really I really enjoyed the area You know don't mind that every bus stop looks like Arabian Nights. It's fine Often there'd be blood from the ATM to the bus stop. Yeah, not even kidding

That's on the patreon by the way if you want to go watch we vlog the That's on the patreon by the way if you want to go watch we vlogged the Blood going from an ATM we walked out of a bar and walked up and we see all this blood on the sidewalk And it's a trail to an ATM so somebody obviously got bludgeoned right and then those store owners The liquor store guys come out and we were like what's going on here some is this some ketchup? And they were like oh, you know they're bl bludging they were they were bludgeoned oh the muslims they did it again they were shooing us away like i had nothing to see and they were pouring like coca cola i like they've done this a thousand times they knew how to clean it up they had like an indian guy in a hazmat suit yeah they had like a pit crew come

out and like sew the atm case out put a new one in. It's funny to imagine it has Matt suit, but it has enough room for a turban. It's looks like a minion on top of a normal guy's body. We saw there's like two homeless guys and people like the on that side of town. They're like, it's crazy. Yeah. The homeless problem is the homeless out of control. And the homeless guys go, OK, get some money. And you're like, no, man, we're not from here, sorry. And they go, oh, okay, you're on holiday.

You're like, yeah. They go, well enjoy it. And then they just keep walking. They leave. You're like, so it's polite deranged guy I've ever met. A good blessing to you, sir. They're like Dickens, homeless people. Truly didn't see really anything that crazy.

There was one day where I saw a guy because these the the uber eats drivers They like they're always in like alleyways like like cats just like eating the food that they deliver On scooters and shit everywhere is it the Muslim guys doing the uber eats? Yeah And they're like really like they're they don't even like, you know, because here they have to like pretend to like America because like 9-Eleven and sure out in England, they're like fucking they're like, you know, they're like knife.

They're like box cutting, like knife fighting out there with each other. Like it's like they're fencing. Yeah, they're wearing like an Osama bin Laden, like glamour T-shirt around. Yeah, it's like a whole chant. And every all the white people just have to be like, well, you know, well, I think that's fine. And I'm glad I'm getting my arm cut off by a big zombie knife. But there is like a weird there's like a weird intensity that they have.

And because I saw I saw a Muslim dude with like a pit bull walking alongside like like three couples, three white couples just like having their night out and they're just walking down the sidewalk and he's walking alongside them and he goes, yeah, why don't you suck my dick, huh? Just suck my dick and none of the guys did anything because I think everyone's just, it is like weirdly segregated in that way.

There's just like a don't, don't get into it. That's, you know. They view it as like two dogs going on a walk. They're just like, don't look it in the eye. Yeah. Yeah. But I did see another guy, one of these Uber Eats drivers. He was like the king of the Uber Eats drivers. Like he looked like Thanos.

Like, he was holding court with all of his buddies and they all have their scooters out and stuff. And a guy I was with was trying to hand out cards for the movie. He didn't go up to them, but he was handing them trying to hand out cards for the movie. He didn't go up to them, but he was handing them out to businesses, right? Where this dude was standing around and he was completely oblivious to what was going on. I'm watching it from across the street and the the Thanos Muslim guy starts going like stab, stab and flipping him off from a car. And he's just acting oblivious and he just keeps flipping him off.

And all his friends are laughing, and he keeps going, stop, stop, just yelling stab at a guy. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, it's kinda cool, actually. I love them over there. They're great, they're great. Don't like the hygiene, I will say.

Are they dirty? It's very stinky. Dirty people? On the, on the, just. They're the Muslims, not the British, or both? No, the British are fine. The British are fine. Tons of fat asses

I love the mom asses really even yeah, they got pogs Surprisingly good asses out there. Yeah, they got pipples and pogs in England. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's changed Yeah, hip-hop changed the world. It's ground zero for whites ma'am. Yeah, I In front of Devin on the flight back. There was a there was just like a bowl of tikka masala It smelled like shit In front of Devin on the flight back, there was just like a bowl of tikka masala. It smelled like shit in front of him. It was insane. The guy next to me was legitimate.

It's like getting, it's like annoying. It's like if a black guy was next to you on a flight eating watermelon and fried chicken and like dancing. And you're like, is this, why do you smell? Why does it have to be you with the turban? Yeah, you're flying the Mississippi and guys are doing Showtime on the plane. It's like, I was getting annoyed

that I even was annoyed at the stinky Indian guy. Mike, you think they have a blowhole for their shit and that's why they wear a turban. Dude, he had his shoes off too. He took his shoes off and he took his socks off. You take the turban off and there's another ass underneath the turban. Yeah, a big ass but there's a bald spot.

He took his stinky feet out. He had his feet out too. And he was he was sitting next to two British, like a British couple. And they were, you know, just looking away. I don't I don't think this is a disgusting bug next to me at all. Did you have to did you have to get up and go in the aisle and pray to Mecca? And when he sticks his ass up in the air I just smell the shit in there He was somehow the only guy still talking on a Bluetooth

Somehow somehow where they also were they also wearing the sweatpants with every NFL team on them when they did it yeah Dude with like with these these guys these the Muslim Uber Eats guys out there, I didn't see a single one of them not on the phone. They make more phone calls than like Ari Gold. They're walking around all day, like they're titans of industry. I've taken a lift to the airport before, Muslim guy picks me up and I look,

you can see the phone time on the iPhone, and it said like seven and a half hours he had been talking on the phone to somebody. I think they just call each other. They just call, yeah. And just hang out on the phone. They don't talk.

That's actually a bomb. That's a timer on a bomb, Jase. He hands me my suitcase and it's just a big cartoon bomb with a wick and a handle and I go, thank you sir. Did the... I mean, Muhammad Muhammad that guy did build that clock Ma Obama people the clock there. They're into clocks and they're into Phone wasn't it a phone that he built what the fuck? No, he built like an alarm clock that was like literally made out of dynamite and like TNT

It looked like the most bomb thing you've ever seen right right but it was supposed to be a clock for a science do you remember the kid that Obama yes right now with him okay because he was Muslim in Florida and he literally came in with like a bunch of like dynamite sticks and a big old-timey alarm clock and was like this is my science project but it could have been a bomber it was it was it literally looked like a bomb. Oh, it just looked like I think Obama Ended up like like giving the kid like the Pulitzer Prize or something Yeah, because he got expelled from school because it was like a bomb he realized it was his biological child Obama had was forced to

Father him look let me look at his feet. Yeah, those look like Michelle Those look like big Mike's feet Yeah, Obama's like, you know what? I'm gonna let you fire a drone wherever you want. Yeah, it's go for it It's Cinderella, but they're holding up an Air Force one to Michelle Obama's foot Shack shoes that he used to show off at All-Star games Mm-hmm. Um, I'm the Cinderella of the ball. I'd like to walk back to that guy, smell like tikka masala though, because now I'm confusing Muslims for Indian guys.

But they move so quickly in London, you start confusing one for the other. And my heart goes out to the Indian fellas. Because those guys are standing on the corners, and it's like they're barking for comedy clubs, but they're just slinging butter chicken. Yeah, I saw that. I saw a guy almost like got you hook line and sink. There's this row called it's like brick lane.

And then the deeper you get, the more the more intense it gets. And at like 5 p.m., these guys come out like the I am legend zombies out front of their masala house at the edge of the shadow. If you're walking, you will get hit by ten different store owner guys in a row like my friend They're like raping you into eating that was that was like Ben's like basic training for the seals Well, I saw the guy you guys are doing a little banter with that one guy that guy that guy was cool And again something really on the vlog if you want to see a patreon.com slash limit party see the vlog continue to heaven But yeah, some of them are very intense and and nobody responds to them

But I'm like I guess cuz I'm in America. I just kept responding like I'm like buddy. I'm full I already ate and everyone kept being like you don't respond Everyone kept saying that that was it's basically the ghetto and you go. It's just Indian people and rest. And the restaurants are very nice. They seem nice to me. And there's there wasn't a homeless guy. No one was assaulting me. The vapes, the guys who own the vape shops on Brick Lane to incredibly nice.

Everyone got great espresso. Everyone was nice of every culture, truly was. Except for the Thanos guy that wanted to stab people and the Yeah, the bloody ATM bloody ATM there was one a homeless black. Okay that came up. She was an exchange What are you running for president? Watching the debates dude, there's a clip of the debates where they're just like no, I love blacks No, I do. Oh, the blacks.

Right. He tricks Biden like who framed Roger Rabbit. He goes, you hate blacks. He goes, I hate blacks. Hey everybody, we want to take a moment to give you a word from our sponsor. That's Ruby's Flowers Hemp Farm. Ruby's Flowers wants you to know that in 2018 the farm bill was passed in the United States and an unintended result of this bill passing was that it effectively became legal

for licensed hemp growers and sellers to grow and sell Mary Jane as a result of THCA flower as a result THCA flower has exploded in popularity as a low cost way to buy and smoke natural high THC cannabis anywhere in the United States. And that's where Ruby's Flowers Hemp Farm comes in. They sent us a beautiful package full of gummies and flowers and it's completely legal to get, depending on your state, look up the state regulations, but you can get it shipped right to your door so if you live somewhere where it's a little, you know, iffy. Looks great. Yeah, you can just go

to their website, get it ordered. Devin took a lot of it little, you know, iffy. Looks great. Yeah, you can just go to their website, get it ordered. Devin took a lot of it home. You know, me and Ben are currently sober. Me, not for much longer, but Ben currently still is. I think you can get it in Texas, too. I think that's the stuff that's illegal in Texas. Yeah, look up your regulations, but you can get in a lot of places where, you know,

you don't wanna drive to some sketchy neighborhood that like pick up flowers, so go to Ruby's Flowers. Hemp Farm, it's run by USDA licensed growers out of Wisconsin that grow and sell THCA flour and Delta 9 THC gummies to over 2,000 customers. They are canvas growers with over a decade of experience, sell directly to their customers, and take full responsibility

for every aspect of their products. It's 2024 and there's no reason to still have to rely on a sketchy dealer who won't text you back or deal with insane taxes and long lines in legal states. Ruby's Flowers will ship your THCA flower directly from their farm to your front door. And they pride themselves on their transparency in the industry.

All strains are third party tested by USDA licensed labs and they post the soil mix of their plants on our site for anyone to see so you know exactly where your plant came from. They even will live stream their greenhouse and post videos to their YouTube channel. You can see the girls that work on their farm on the live streams. So visit rubysflow-I.com. And they got a special promotion for us.

You can use the code LEMON to get 50% off. Not 15, 50% off. Which means you can get an ounce of THC flour for as low as $100. Again, that is Ruby's Flowers WI.com. Thank you, Ruby's Flowers. They're gonna be doing a lot of business with us, so please go to their site, check them out, and use their business.

So anyway, thank you and back to the show. Bye. There's a homeless black that came up. Me and Devin are like, every mile, we'd walk 13 miles a day, but every mile we'd have a Guinness. Yeah, yeah. And I would have a Guinness. Yeah. Yeah. And I would have a Guinness non-alcoholic.

Some people are very worried that I'm relapsing. They don't understand the concept of just drinking your calories. No. I saw you had a sip. Well, what you did was worse. I couldn't believe. You had more beers than me a day. No effect.

You could have... Devin could not keep up with me. It was actually kind of pathetic. Yeah. It's like disgusting. You're the first guy to go like black out of a trunk off non-alcoholic beers. You've done so many of them. Well, a lot of the RNA beers over it's like disgusting. You're the first guy's got like blackout trunk off non alcoholic beers. Well, a lot of them, a lot of their NA beers over there are port five. OK, so I was really trying to see if you're trying to push the limit.

He can finally get. Yeah, you're one of those test pilots from the 60s trying to see how quick close you can get to Mach 1. Yeah. Yeah. Some some like Turkish retard handed me a Peroni after I asked for it and I took a big swig of a real beer. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah, he did take his first sip of alcohol. Did you start jumping around like Woody Woodpecker freaking out? He just got really angry. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I was just off. You were just stewing. Yeah. I was like a Peroni, of all beers. Peroni. Because he said Peroni was the only NA he had and I'm like, alright, I don't like Peroni non-alcoholic beer. I don't even really like Peroni as a regular beer.

They have a weird flavor, they're good in the summer kind of. I'm not gonna relapse on an Italian Pilsner. Yeah, it's like a Virginia Slim or something, it's kind of ridiculous. It's for like little gay Italian men. Exactly, it's for five, six Italian men with like horse cocks to drink.

Anyway, I moved right on, but the point is, the story from earlier that day is that me and Devin were sitting next to like an English mom with the big disgusting mum ass Okay over there the mums they got 10. Yeah, they get wild they got dump trucks on them Are they are they like the latinas at Dodger Stadium where they got kind of narrow hips or it's just refrigerator No, it's the ass that starts at their shoulders. Yeah Where the crack goes all the way to the top? Yeah, yeah, it's wild Yeah, they wipe and they throw their shoulder out because they don't know when to stop. Yeah, that's right. Yeah

This way the big kind of sorry can I ask big in the front as well like big stomachs big? No, not really some were pretty in pretty good shape and had Honestly, uh, I was shocked. Mm-hmm. A lot of people looked really good out there. Okay. Really good. Right, right. I'm sure the countryside it's just people. They look horrific, no teeth.

This is a goblin took my baby. But in the city people look pretty good. Yeah, yeah. You have some hot ass, everybody is so much thinner, everyone's so much hotter honestly. There there are but then like you see the English archetype of person you go no, okay, I get why Everyone thinks people here are ugly, but I but then I don't know I see hot people and then we would overhear them They go I'm from Canada and you go. Okay. Well, yeah, I don't know Canada. It's London. It's a melting pot of people you can't say

Was yeah, was the English archetype you're talking about was like the guy who kind of looks like Harry Potter's like stepdad type of Guy like big fat head and neck essentially yeah So he's always talking about going to watching footy with the boys Yeah, yeah, a lot of guys like that then just a lot of just finance dudes like the minute It's like 5 p.m., like every pub is packed. They all have work the next day, but they're just drinking out front.

But they pace their drinking out. It's a little annoying, actually. It was kind of hard to get fucked up there in a weird way. Can I say, I'm assuming you guys hang out in England, it's like black people in a movie theater, like kind of equivalent, where you guys are so much louder. They don't understand people enjoying themselves. We got so many looks everywhere we went.

People hated us, actually. I'll go on and let people do not like us. Remember outside of that Satan, that satanic bar, we were standing outside laughing our ass off, and this one guy was like, walked down, he was a real loser too, but he walked by us, and he mocked our laugh, and then we were just like, very good

Following him into the bar followed of it. Yeah, I hate it was this goth kid He was hanging out at a satanic bar that thought he was so fucking bad. Yeah, cuz it's Halloween for him every night Fuck it bitches. That's what it said on the walls in there He got fucked in the ass. It's cool Yeah, the wallpaper was all like a woman getting fucked with three cocks in her mouth and stuff. Dude, that's actually cool, because you don't normally see that, if you think about it. Yeah.

So that's pretty sick. I guess it's actually awesome to look at that while I'm taking a shit. While I'm shitting out all my beer from that day. I have to look at a bunch of like, pussies that are gaping. That place sucked ass. That place was terrible. That place was terrible, but it was one of the only places open late for some reason.

But the thing is with the drinking, I was at the first like four days I was there, I thought I was getting away with murder. Cause they go, if you go get like liquor, I'd be like, can I get like a gin and soda? And they'd be like, you single or double? And I'd be like, we'll do a double. Pretending to think about it.

I was doing a double. I got a like, uh, we'll do a double. Pretending to think about it. I was doing a double. I got a long walk ahead of me. And it would come out to like 12 pounds. And like I guess with $10, $9, $15, $16. Which is still pretty good for a double. And then I realized I was like not really feeling anything. And then I watched a guy go, let me get a single. He poured it in half of a

Jigger I said jigger. Okay, he poured that will be at Somebody tried to add a you saying salt and vinegar chips. Yes, they think we say it every episode But they're so retarded. They just it just says you it's you saying vinegar. Yeah. Yeah, there's a guy signing it yeah You've been blinking it every episode like that Vietnam I think that's in right that's in I don't know I refuse to learn it. Hmm. I'm gonna pretend I don't know go ahead. What if what if you figured out American sign language is this is just them spelling the N word Just over and over and over again and also sometimes they do the blood They do the Wu Tang symbol and then they do blood.

But I haven't used Jigger very liberally because he this was an anecdote because he's a drunk. This is an anecdote he told everybody that we met about the Jigger. Well, what else is the cup? What's the cup called, Ben? It is. We all know what you call it. The cup. What's the little cup that they pour the booze in? I call it. It's called.

That's the only word I know what to say. That's what they call it. I jigger. Yeah. I call it a shot glass measure. That's clunky. Yeah, I call it a shot measure. I've seen you in private. You just add a boo to the end of it. And I go, that's very bad.

David said jigger a lot. He kept saying jigger. Did you guys, let's- There was a bunch of Chinese people out there too saying the N word, but that means like, you know, and or something. Did you guys say a fag a lot for the cigarettes? No, no, no.

No, we were just saying it about fags. And then walking around and being like, people are really cold here. They're all wearing blankets around their head. Like they have the mouth. It does. Sir, are you cold? Sir, you, you, sir, you sneaky man. You're hungry. You have a knife on you. You're trying to eat something. It does look like they're all playing in forts.

They all have the measles or some shit. But yeah, so anyway, a double is a regular drink here because I read a thing. There was a law passed in the late 80s where it was like, we have to, we're limiting the amount. This is the only history Devin knows. This is the only thing I read about there. Right.

You know, he knows everything about the Untouchables. Dude, we'd walk by like Napoleon monuments and stuff. We had no, we were like, I don't know. I was walking around the city. I'm like, so I guess Shanghai Nights was filmed here. That's cool. And then he looked into the alcohol. No, I saw it at a bar.

It was right there. Cause I kept asking him to go, guys, what's with this double thing? Uh-huh. So double is single there. A double there is a regular drink there. No, no, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, no, no, a single is 50 mil. A double is 100 mil. No, we did the math at that Indian place. I was right. It's not, no, no, no, no, no, no. A 50 mil, if you look up the ounces of it, is like 0.68. Ben, I saw them. So a double is like 1.21, so it's not technically,

it's a little bit more than a single as a double. That's basically the same. I asked for a double and I watched, I had it neat to finally see it, because I had to see it, no ice, none of this ice bullshit. He had Devin as an eye up next to the glass. I'm looking right at it. It was a completely normal drink here,

when you order a drink. Right, did you then get a single to test your test your yes, and the single was like almost nothing Okay, single was like the the weakest amount of Get a quadruple. No, no, I don't think so. You can't order anymore because it's a double quarter pound They stop this because everyone was getting too drunk and beating the shit of the Pakistani guy So they just live in it to like just have Guinness all day. And we're like we're harmless. We want to get drunk and like go watch Too Lazy to Try back at our Airbnb.

Exactly. We're trying to watch the new Too Lazy to Try by Brian Callan. YouTube in London is tremendous. Oh, it's great. Well, you guys like Big Ben is like chiming outside your hotel window. You're like, shut up. I'm trying to watch the Brian Callahan documentary. Shut up! I'm at St. Paul's Cathedral just like watching fucking comedy enforcement.

I'm in like one of those horse drawn carriages and I have a big iPad and I'm watching the warms and sermons on it really loud. Covered in shit. Covered. And I have a big iPad and I'm watching the war Watching a porcelain A guy with a big hat is driving me through like nights bridge You're on a big pumpkin being drawn by mice Fuck oh my god. Hey guys we want to say we're all busy and we have time to save anywhere we can. That's why Factor is a godsend. They're no mess, no prep meals, take just two minutes. Throw one in a skillet or in the microwave and

you're all set. They have dozens of different meals to choose from each week and they have meals for vegans, vegetarians, people counting calories, basically everybody. Their website's very easy to use. You just go in, pick meals for you, and they'll send it right to your door. They're delicious, they helped me out. Didn't have to cook quite as much. And I want you to know that Factor delivers

restaurant quality premium ingredients like filet mignon, shrimp, and blackened salmon. So head to factormeals.com slash Limined50 and use the code LIMINED 50 to get 50% off your first box Plus 20% off your next month That's code lemon 50 at factor meals dot com slash lemon 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% Off your next month while your subscription is active. Thank you factor and now back to the show, but we're being silly I actually saw a lot and I'm the only one that knew the history of our neighborhood. We were in you piece of shit

What was the what was the history? Green was the most devastated neighborhood in World War two by bombs so that's 24,000 Homes destroyed 600 civilian deaths right so that's why they just put every yeah there Oh, so that's that's really bad our n-word you cannot say hey, don't give a shit I'm not living there, so you can't say that they call them the n-word there So that was did you guys let one fly and somebody freaked out on you no I had I saw a movie called this is England a while back I kind of knew that that word meant that with the guy from the Irishmen. Yes, this is really good Steven Graham Steven Graham

Yeah, yeah great Great movie. Great. It's funny that they have skinheads over there, too. Mm hmm. They got like everything we have, just gay or in weaker. Just a little. Yeah. Just no guns. Yeah. Just just hitting. Just a lot of hitting. What's really fun is they have hooligans. So me and Devin at like midnight. The Chaps.

Well, the Chaps and then the so the hooligans, these two 14 year old girls came up to me and Devin while we were waiting for the bus Which and they were like, ah We're all the way from Crowley You know what Crowley is these little they were two little girls. They weren't hooligans Like they escaped the parents went into the city never goes you hooligans get home Oh, that's right. I got out. Hooligans and she's one has a big traffic cone. She goes, I'm going to shove this up your ass. That actually rules. It was cool.

They clearly found some like wine somewhere. They found an Indian guy that would sell it at a liquor store and they were getting drunk two hours. Yeah. From a guy. Yeah. They went up to one Indian guy, but they took a train into London. We looked it up. They were two and a half hours away They took it in from Crawley and it's such a dangerous city. They were just wandering

And going into the bus stop and just talking shit with a big traffic Oh, yeah, like that scene in hot fuzz when the kid has on the yeah, he has on the pissing on the wall of the pub Yeah, he keeps asking them their birthday. Yeah, he goes every year. Oh, yeah. Yeah When did you turn 18 or when were you born? He's like, what is it? He goes when are you born? He goes December 5th. He goes what year goes every year When's your birthday? Yeah Juggle you were doing that the whole trip where you do jog on to people. He did that a lot. You also did Around people that had no clue why that was funny.

People don't need context for me having a good time. Ben was constantly doing no context jokes around people. Get on the train or get off. Cause we're leaving the station. Watch that hand placement. Dad is getting screen grabbed. What? You get on the train or get off.

I go, you're talking Talking about trains don't watch it Girl but yeah when those little girls walked up to us at the at the bus stop They said something that we couldn't understand at first, that they're trying to be funny. They go, what are you mad? And I was kind of getting there. They were getting a little under my nerves. I should have, you know, just been like, yeah, I am American. We shoot kids in our country.

You guys just push them into a group of Indian guys to their death. Like the little scarab beetles in the mummy, just tearing them apart. Make them disappear. Yeah, it's like that's the equivalent of 300 when he kicks him into the pit. We just kicked the hooligan girls. It's just like three Indian guys never to be seen again. You know what, here's an interesting thing about the Indians and all the others over there.

Sure, right. That it blurs, I'm not going to pretend I know the difference really at this point. It's a lot of Somalians, right? It was hard. It's a little hard to be like a city guy there that talks shit in like a fun loving way because I kind of kept not knowing what they were. I'm like, I just said Muslim. You can tell.

I think if they had like an iron deficiency, like where they have like rings around their eyes like raccoons, I think those are Pakistani. There's a lot of Turks too, but they're not they're like white I guess Yeah, what are turks? There's Arab looking? Yeah, and all their kebab places are like Turkish to me Turks were more bony Yeah, they had a little more Turks are like if you took Armenians and combine them with Sam the Eagle. That's a Turk. Okay. Yeah kind of the strong Cheekbones and a little bit sharper nose. Mm-hmm. That's a trick and then Muslims are the ones who have the They're the ones with explosives on them running into churches and buildings. No, what's the what's the

What's the snuggle cloak? What's the thing? They're the ones that wait there were snuggies Snuggies, yeah Like customers They have a magic bullet that they blow up. There's a special Billy Mays commercial that goes, ala Akbar everybody, brother Mays here. But. Fucking retards.

Yeah, that sucks ass, man. I also. What were we saying though about it? Oh, the little cockney girls. Oh, no, no, but we just, we can't really, it's hard to tell what race people are over there and it's very upsetting. Because it's difficult to marginalize or have fun.

At least in LA you go like the Mexicans, you know who they are, the Armenians in New York, you go the fucking Puerto Ricans, the Dominicans, out there you go, the ones wearing sleeping bags all the time. I think you're from one of the caucus mountains. I don't know. Some of them only have half the sleeping bag on.

Some have the full sleeping bag on. I know you've got a lot of goats somewhere. That's all I know. But every liquor store guy was really polite and awesome. And super helpful. And super helpful. They had, when I wanted candy, they would tell me the good candies to get, like the chocolate bars. was really polite and awesome. And super helpful. And super helpful. It was all his grain. When I wanted candy, they would tell me the good candies

to get, like good chocolate bars. You're getting candies at the liquor store? Oh yeah, I mean like. They had a whole, I mean it's a whole new world over there. Ben treated the whole city like he was a kid, like he got the golden ticket. He's like, where's Charlie? Yeah.

Where's Willy Wonka's factory? He jumped into the Thames River, he thought it was a pudding. Yeah, Ben tried to eat the glass elevator. Where's Willy Wonka's factory? He jumped into the Thames River. He thought it was a pudding. Yeah. Ben tried to eat the glass elevator. You saw an Indian guy, and you thought he was an Oompa Loompa. But I really didn't see any hooligan men, like those chav guys, where it's I think they're called

council housed and violent, I think. They call themselves violent. I think that the term chav is like a guy in you know Adidas that like right has like a piece of shit wife and they headbutt and They're called. I think it stands for council housed and violent It would be fun if you were over there and you saw just like the clockwork orange gang just like walking down the street Yeah, God pieces and bowler hats. Yeah, it's cool though, man. It's a really cool city. I was I was a I'm just being a dick. I had a fuck. It was an amazing. I've always superior tell I really wish

I really wish I had my passport. I really wanted to go I've always wanted to visit England might even be superior to New York. Yeah, no, I mean you're better than you It's kind of sucks because it's clean. It's clean polite New York. No honking, right? You know, it's like, there's less piss. They like, they prepare for festivities, like the weekends around Thursday, they like roll out these circular tubes that are urinals, and guys just whip their cocks out in the street

and go piss on those. That's beautiful. And then they get collected on Sunday, as opposed to just everyone just shitting and pissing themselves. And one Indian guy drinks all of that. It's one Indian guy drinks all of that. It's one Indian guy picking up everything of this.

He collects it in the Uber Eats bag. Puts the little sticker seal over the top. You'll piss my friend. And he brings it to Prince William and he drinks all of it. Dude, you know, it was funny as I went in one of the bathrooms once and there's like, you know, there's three stalls and then there were two urinals. Mm-hmm the urinals weren't occupied but all three stalls were and Outside the urinals in front in front of the sink between the sink in the urinals Okay

there was an Indian guy pacing back and forth and I went to take a piss at the urinal and I just started laughing my Ass off in front of him because it looked to me. I'm like he's waiting for all them to get done shitting He's like hungry is a bib on he's got the big fork and a knife Do those I'm ready to tell you that I was like I was like fucking crying laughing because I'm pissing and since I'm laughing my dick is like going up and like my piss is shooting out all shitty. All in the urinal. You're laughing to yourself about the simmage. There's one Indian guy who thinks all Americans go to a urinal and just piss all over the

walls. When they go, ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Go ahead. Oh, so the other thing, too, you get to ride on top of the buses there. Really cool. They're like that rule double story. And it feels like you're driving the tank in Halo. Yeah, it's super good. If you sit at the front, it feels like you're in like a video game and it feels like you're killing people the whole time. Like you see a bicycle because they disappear. They just disappear. He's gone. I loved it. I like it was the only city to my whole life. Like within like three days, I feel like I fully picked up

the transportation system. Like, yeah, like I didn't feel like I knew exactly where we were. And we were traveling all across the city. We were all day. I like had it down. Was it really well designed or you just naturally got it really well designed? And if you just use your Google Maps, all you have to do is just get down to the walking to the state to the new station But like once you're there as soon as we get to the tube

Yeah, the old tube and then you use the toilet then then yeah, the London underground as they call it. Yeah, it was great It was really cool. People don't know how to walk though. That's the one thing that would kind of drive me crazy How do they walk? For such a large city people have no spatial awareness like in New York There's a pace people move to the side like there's like a thing going on where you can. It's like a little like salmon in the water. Yeah, everyone kind of gets it. People there are completely out. Everyone's in like their own bubble of their life.

Like we had a lot of problems where we're like walking and then just a bunch of people just stop in the middle and start. We're at the bar to get through. You just have to shove people. It was crazy. Like they're almost so polite They're pricks like I'm like, excuse me. Excuse me And they're just keep talking so they used to have to like shove them aside and they don't even get angry They don't react at all. I don't care. Yeah, you could charge right through them. Yeah, they do nothing at all

Yeah, they are weak Oh and then we were drinking at 11 a.m And some some fucking bloke walked in some Some six year old like toothless dude. Do you remember this guy? Wait, the place we went to where you touched the Guinness and the bartender goes, never touch the Guinness! Yeah, dude. Wait, you touched it too early?

He touched it too early, he was letting it settle. But it was like on the counter and Ben grabs it and the guy goes, never touch the Guinness! Like an 80 year old bartender. My great grandfather blew up a preschool of Irish children. So you never touch the Guinness! Like an 80 year old bartender. My great grandfather blew up a preschool of Irish children. So you never touch the Guinness. And dude, these guys fucking love America. When we left, this old British guy that we were talking to,

he told us about going to Vegas 40 years ago. It was the only thing he saw in America. I fucking love Vegas. I love the states. And you told him you're from Texas. So when we left, he's sitting there with like his third pint by noon, and he goes, remember the animals! Oh!

Oh, then he's- I have heard that, say you're from Texas because they all fuck with Texas. Yeah, cowboys and- He shouted out John Wayne and then some legend- He shouted out John Wayne and Richard Widmark. Richard Wid- Richard Widmore?

Yeah, Widmark. Who's that? An old like cowboy actor. Wow, I had to look him up I didn't know him. I was like damn this guy really loves like Western. It's like old cowboy. Yeah Everyone it's so funny like it's because if you talk to a British guy and you like you you you said like yeah But we are like the best like you guys take our your cues from us like we're the first domino Mm-hmm, they'd be like really offended and be like, be like, you're fucking asshole. And like, no, that's not not true.

And whatever. Meanwhile, they're head to toe in American shit. Yeah. Marlboro shirts, NFL jerseys, Laker jerseys, Dodger hats. Like I saw like a biggie shirt, biggie, Nas, Tupac. They loved his God. You were wearing Goodfellas shirt one wore a Goodfellas shirt one day. I got like five compliments from dudes. Just like, what was that Indian? I fucking love Goodfellas.

That Indian guy walked by me and he was like, Goodfellas, my favorite fucking movie. Hell yes. Shing. Shing, shing, shing. He just started crying through a crowd like a man in the jungle. Shing, shing.

Just limbs are flying. Going to get to the tube. like Like he's got the big Arabian night sword Yeah, we okay so one homeless black came up to us new version of saying black people for you. What am I supposed to say? Homeless black guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do hit the glass K in black like you're about to do with somersault. It's a real hard hit. This homeless black.

It really catapults you into the rest of the sentence. I'm sorry I have good fucking, like I know how to talk or whatever. Well, you want me to say homeless black? Like it's a G at the end? like I'm so fucking shitty with my words I just feel like a guy. I just say guy at the end. Okay, a guy came up. Does that Listen a guy came up is that a good description there? Is that funny there? Am I painting a funny picture and everybody's there? They're going like was he black?

Was he black was he booked it'd be really funny if he was okay how about for now and I give like like a sign like we're playing like code names or some shit okay where I say a guy came up and then I'll turn and look at the camera and I'll do this for like 25 seconds yeah so the audience? I know for like 25 seconds. Yeah. So the audience, they know. Right. It was a guy and you walk all the way across the room and wink right into the lens. Well, it's like calling a pitch like two nods is an Indian guy. You go, if I sign the race down here, like I'm like, I'm a catcher. If I try to tell the pitcher what to throw, if I touch my belt, that means you say the slur. But if I signal the slur without touching my belt,

that means you just say. Fuck a third base coach. Yeah, yeah, you just make fun of gay people. Yeah, there's a guy dressed like Tommy was sort of behind the camera just going like. Yeah. Doing baseball signs. So you saw Black.

Dude, he came up to this family with the mum ass and the two kids with the haircut. They all have the broccoli haircut. They all do the same shit, right? Everybody's flattened, whatever, who gives a shit? I will say over there, no one was on their phones, though, for the most part. People actually were engaged in a conversation.

So they're sitting there being like a fat white family, right? And then as soon as the black guy approaches them, the mom does the thing of she takes her purse, she moves it here, and then she does the ultimate patronizing racist white lady thing. She pulls out hand sanitizer and starts squirting it in as she's talking and she starts rubbing it all over her hands.

She squeezes like a cum shot amount. Just cause a black guy was near her. Near her. Right. A homeless black guy was in her vicinity. She starts slowly, she takes out a hazmat student, starts slowly putting it on. She, he asked, he was asking for like a couple pounds

so he could get a beer. And then he made his way over to us and she's like still cleaning herself. And he goes, he was like, come on, mate, like I need a fucking, I just need, I need a couple like quid. Oh, the toothless dude when we were sitting outside. He looked like fucking Al Green.

And you said, yeah, he was funny. You said you were Irish. He goes, man, he was like, I'm getting a black hat. Yeah, he turned into. Man, I'm from the 1970s, top square. That's what the British black guy did. Fuck, you know I'm from Wales and shit. You crazy as hell.

I'm in Piccadilly motherfucking circus and shit. I'm from Tottingham Circle, motherfucker. I'm from Baton Hill. My name's Patrick O'Quade Cooligan, motherfucker. And I need some goddamn quid. If I can get a fucking pint, bitch. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

So he asked you for some quid. Yeah, and he was like, where are you from? And I was like, oh I'm from Ireland. He goes, man Ireland, you ain't from Ireland, you funny. And I was like, yeah, I'm from America. He was like, man enjoy your holiday. And he walked off laughing his ass off. He was like, you funny.

And then that white lady just pulls out the only gun and hang one and gets it in the back. A blunderbuss. Yeah. Yeah, man. Catches him with shrapnel from a junkyard in the back of his head. It just load a bunch of sharp screws into it.

Phone that looks, or the gun that looks like a record player. Oh, a gramophone. Yeah, a hand cannon. Yeah. That was funny. And then that, everyone was funny, too, by the way. You were giving it up for the people.

What are you talking about? They're wildly more present, wildly quicker, they're funnier. They were cool. Even that, dude, they're way funnier. They're better storytellers. They have to think some enchanted by the accent. I think everyone was way more quick and present

and you gotta give them that at the very least. Yes, there's, yeah, yeah. Dude, go out to Silver Lake, go out to Echo Park, go out to any of these bars. It's people dead-eyed, on their phone, fucking boring. You say anything to them. Their first words out of their fucking mouth are, what?

Huh? Sure. Yeah. What are you, oh yeah, what do you, okay. They're more, people are more in their own world there. They have the moment with you, but then they go back to their thing. And I feel like if you find the right people out here in New York, you could have a fun time

for an hour or two with some new people. And then they go, do you have any Coke? Yeah. And rub their nipples. Do you say you say are we going to cook later? Did you see any? Did you see any of the train spotting guys out there? Yeah, I saw a lot of fun guys. And Jackie's you see junkies, but they're like in there.

They're like they're they're they have like businesses. Like they're wearing suits. They're they walk out of an alleyway and they're like, we got to get to happening by noon. We got a score. And they like they march on. Guy pulls out like a pocket watch. He goes, oh, time to shoot up.

Let's it all of a sudden. They're they're on the roof like the alien from science. How the fuck did he get up there? He's staring at you like the false monster. They're awesome. That rules. One of them was walking around, two junkies walking around and like, well you didn't fucking wait at the Thames Link

because we were trying to score. Yeah. And they're both talking about trying to get heroin in front of us. So we were laughing our ass off. There were three junkies that were there before you arrived one day I was there. And they were all holding onto a bicycle

and rolling it through. Like that was their car. Yeah, they were all holding it. And one guy had it at one point to himself and this like crazy lady that was the leader of them was like, no, you can't hold onto that. You're not stupid, you're clumsy. Kept repeating that to like make him feel better.

It's my day with the pedal. Tuesday is my pedal day. It was ruled. It really ruled out. We also were in one of the nicest hotels in England, seeing our friend and in the lobby, all these guys were eating like these four rich fucks were eating like this pot roast dinner. And there was like a table in front of them

and on the table they had erected an iPad and they were watching the presidential debate. They were watching the debates, yeah. We walked by like, oh man, that's the fucking, it's funny guys, enjoy that. Like that's great entertainment. They looked like really annoyed that we were like making fun of it

because they care more than us. Yeah, they're more worried about American politics than you are. Yeah. Unless they were American and staying there, we never because they were talking like, well, England, it's becoming fascist. And it's like it sounds like it's a great, beautiful place over there. I don't know. Maybe some light fascism works.

They're having problems over there because it is expensive places to live and it kind of caps out at like 100 pounds a year in terms of your salary. But if you're like, OK, yeah, yeah. But if you're like a finance bro over there, you can make a lot more. But like the common person is getting much, much harder to afford life in London. And the Brexit thing I think is fucking up their currency because they don't do the Euro now, they do the pound.

I think there are problems coming there, but like, I mean, they acted like we were staying in like skid row And it was it was I could live there It was nicer than any part of LA that I've been in mm-hmm by far cleaner Yeah, much better. Yeah, I mean remember we were in Boston and we were staying in Roxbury people acted like we were like living We people are do like we bought an Airbnb in like Syria or something, but the Airbnb were in I thought I'm like It's just the beginning of barbarian?

It wasn't creepy. There was something weird about the feeling of it. There were 12 doors we couldn't open and floors of banging and stuff. To be clear, I never went above the first floor. I was like, this place is very scary to me, so I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, me and Devin were on the third floor of that place.

And it got weird. There were shoes all up the steps. I remember that. To the fourth and fifth floor. Because we had no got weird. There were like shoes all up the steps to the fourth and fifth floor. And weird traffic cones. Yeah. I don't know, man. The creepiest thing I saw was just I walked outside

and just saw a pit bull staring at me and that was about it. I bet we were on the starting to get gentrified part of Roxbury. I bet the deeper you get, it gets probably pretty intense. The evil there is interesting, right? Because they don't have meth, so like demons don't like channel from like the spirit world through them.

It's people that are close to the other side, actually. So the only evil over there that which demons can act through is really old people because they're so close to dying, like their shell can be like possessed by a demon. Yeah, they're so racist that the devil like their shell can be possessed by a demon. Yeah, they're so racist that the devil can enter their heart and start speaking. Yeah, the evil in England, it's always like an old English woman

who sits on the foot of your bed and goes, you're gonna join me soon. You're gonna be dead real soon. With like black eyes. It's either that or it's a it's a five year old being like the devil man said that you're going to get ripped to death tonight. That's all their haunted shit over there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, they're.

Fuck them. They got Scottish eggs. I'm going to I'm going to fly back just for a Scottish egg. And that's Scottish. And is that like a chocolate egg? No, it's amazing. It's like a breaded. It's like a hard boiled. It's like a po Scottish egg. Oh, that's Scottish egg. Is that like a chocolate egg? What is that? It's amazing. It's like a breaded. It's like a hard boiled. It's like a poached egg

or a boiled soft boiled egg in like a doughy meaty crust that they fry. It's like a it's like an egg. Hot pocket kind of round. That does actually sound pretty. It's a round hot pocket. Let me put it in the American layman terms. Yeah, it's a hot pocket. You form me put it in the American layman terms Yeah

It's a hot pocket you form right to a ball If you would explain this in Mountain Dew what type of Mountain Dew is it and we'd go to like a bar that was like They're like wow, this is the root or road yard kit crudy root yard Kipling bar Yes, yeah, I like wrote the jungle book or whatever pictures of him like like pontificating like looking into the sky Yeah, yeah that was the word I was thinking of wasn't he was a mongoose who's a black fellow Weren't we at like a TS Elliot place to is he British? I thought I had a cell yet is British Yeah, he is. I think we were at a TS Elliot place

Transactual Elliot. Yeah, he is. I think we were at a T.S. Elliot place. Transactual Elliot. Yeah, exactly. Great writer. Fuck it. C.S. Elliot cisgender piece of shit white man. Yeah. We were laughing at the Jungle Book too because like in the... So like Disney's so racist, right?

In the movie, it takes place in the jungles of India. Yeah. So your protagonist is a young boy named Mowgli. Yeah. So it's like a dead giveaway that like they're in India. They're in the jungle. I guess people forget there's like jungles in India, but regardless, they get away with this.

There's a bunch of like gorillas, monkeys, orangutans in the. You know, I trusted. Now, I see a confidence. Let's see. Like character and is an Indian. And then the gorillas and the monkeys and stuff, they're like jazz musicians. Yeah, that's true. And they still make them black. It really is. It's literally they're slapping the baby.

It's too bad. I want to be like you. I swear to God, they're like the loniest monk and she is. Why is he in India? The leader of like the orangutan army that helps Mowgli and Baloo, like when he walks up, he goes, say Jack, give me some skin. And he's like, dude, like shooting heroin, like he's fucking, you know.

How about, Okay. Okay. Instead of Baloo. Okay. Come on, we can do that, Devin, that's fine. Come on, go ahead. That sucks.

Take it from here. I don't know. Take it from here. I don't know. Take it from here. We almost had a full main episode up. We can do that Devon. That's fine. Come on. Go ahead We almost had a full main episode up Yeah, Jungle Book does rule though that because just cuz they're like, yeah But why did they make them all black guys who like sing jazz? Have you seen any Disney movie before 1970? Have you seen Arista cats by the way? I don't really remember it There's a scene in Arista Cats where it's the same thing, they all go, they're like, Bert Reynolds plays the main cat I believe in Arista Cats and he goes,

I'm gonna show you some down brothers and he takes them to the Alley Cats. He takes them to the Alley Cats area and it's literally like, it's black cats being like, you don't know how to get there, like we do brother. And then they start playing. They're like Marcellus Wallace. Yeah, yeah, they're like,

I'm gonna get some hard pipe hitting cats up in here. Yeah. Look at a Ving Rhames cat. A cat with a bandage on the back of his head. And a gold, but he, there's a scene where they're playing like ragtime piano or shit like that. And then a cat comes up with buck teeth. They made the cat do Mickey Rooney face.

It came up with buck teeth and it's holding chopsticks and it plays dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And it was like me Japanese in the middle of the movie out of nowhere. I like that. Yeah, yeah. That was standard then. That's how you got like a G rating in a movie back then.

G for just great stuff. Yeah. Yeah, they used to, it was like literally every movie they would go like insane. That was the, by the way, the comedian I was thinking of was Jerry Lewis the last episode when we couldn't figure out the 94 year old that just died. Yeah, yeah, he has a, do you know his Chinese, the, of him being Chinese?

I'll play it for you real quick. I didn't know he was Chinese in the movie. No, no, no, I didn't either, and someone sent me this who listens to them at parties. Is that from the day the clown died, him being Chinese? His Holocaust movie that never got released? Chinese, I wonder if someone uploaded it, because I think I watched it.

Oh yeah, Confusion says. Okay, very good. Yeah, him being Japanese. Well, there's a lot here actually He's got a whole row of decks of Chinese characters He had more than I thought but he yeah, here's him. This wasn't the one but here's him like as a hibachi chef I'm sure laughter ensues. Okay And this is this is the guy everybody said he was the master of like comedy

People were giving him like the first Mark Twain award. This is the guy everybody said he was the master of like comedy people people were giving him like the first Mark Twain award. This is the first Benny Hanna commercial He's good at the he learned the craft at least he's not disrespectful I was like any time they did this they would play gone to just be like in case you don't get it He's a fucking Chinese guy He's a fucking Chinese guy That's pretty good, I know dude imagine dude you're filling the scene next to an actual Asian person is insane So what is he doing he's like stabbing himself with knives and stuff and his teeth are really big yeah

Can I say I've never seen an Asian person with those teeth. I think that's I don't I've never understood that I've never seen that stare in my life. I've never seen buck teeth on an Asian now That's crazy Stereotype I'm gonna say stereotype of buck teeth Can I tell you there it's Jerry Lewis has a very funny career I've watched like one of his movies I watched the nutty professor which is okay but he was like the the king of like, he was like their Will Ferrell. And then he got old and he was doing the telethons

and he would literally do interviews with Mike Wallace where he would be like, I was dying. I had a nerve disorder that was giving me so much pain. One morning I bloated a gun with a single bullet and I stared at it for 45 minutes. Then my daughter Sandra walks in and she says what are you doing that? I go I'm doing a skit for my new movie and I burst into tears right there And then that was what he did for 30 years before he just died after being the big wacky

Yeah, like, you know, they're Ron Burgundy exactly So ignore this cartoon. This is Haro. I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah, no, that's great. Yeah, ignore that. But right down here, it's explaining. So this is actually, I know, look, it's bad that they did it as a trope and stuff. But can we point out how insane this is? And this is an ass backwards thing about their culture.

So it says here that people, that crooked teeth are actually viewed as a positive trait in Japan, and that orthodontics is still a relatively recent thing So that's why Japan was always betrayed as the big buck teeth by guys like Jerry Lewis, right? It says crooked teeth actually China, right? He was a Chinese That's a Chinese guy though, right no Just Asia No, they hated Japanese because we fought Japan in World War II.

And we fucking owned them. Yeah, we got there. They did not stand a chance. It was actually embarrassing for them. It is so funny. We killed three hundred thousand Japanese people one day. And then the next day, Jerry Lewis is doing a botchy. After we just like fucking put them in the oven and hit high. Crooked teeth are actually viewed as a positive trait in Japan. Wealthy women sometimes pay to have their teeth reshaped unevenly

because a crooked smile makes them look more childlike and thus cuter. Because they're pedophiles. Yeah, they're so pedophilic. Yeah. And it says historically in Japan, white teeth were generally seen as unattractive, and women concerned about their physical attractiveness would artificially Blacken their teeth as part of their makeup. Mm-hmm. So this is I mean they deserve to be mocked for this They got a thing coming to them that what Jerry Lewis was doing he was just like he was a he was a sound of freedom guy

He was a sound of freedom guy. He like hated them. They had a pedophilic teeth culture. Yeah, he's this comedian guy, but in like the board meeting pitching the film, he's like, I'm gonna show him what's what. Ashing a cigarette. It says World War II depictions of the Japanese, however, typically involve giant upper front teeth

and sometimes fangs, Jesus. It says the primary inspiration for this trope was Hideki Tojo, the de facto leader of Imperial Japan during World War II who had a pronounced overbite. It says this is often a component of yellow face, huh? Interesting. So this is the Hideki Tojo who- Yeah, literally I don't see an overbite.

Who's a general? I'm sure we fucking smoked his ass. He looks like a pitcher for the Dodgers Well, I gotta find a picture of him with his teeth now Teeth yeah, I'm gonna see he doesn't seem to show him. Yeah, I'm not really seeing much there doesn't like showing teeth Yeah, no, but I do remember there's like Donald. There's Donald Duck in Mickey Mouse cartoons from like the Jesus Christ. God damn. Jesus Christ. They made a Mount Rushmore of Asian guy. Oh my God. That guy's playing his two teeth like piano keys. It's the scene from Big, but on an Asian guy's

caricature teeth. Jesus. I hope they can actually see this on the. That's crazy. This was in every McDonald's play place in the 50s. That's a slide. Come out of the teeth and then you punch him in the eye and get a toy. Jesus, an American dentist drilled remember Pearl Harbor on Prime Minister Hideki Toho's dentures.

He didn't do that. That doesn't sound true at all. Is that true? It's on the chive. So how funny would it be if I'm on the chive.com? Remember Pearl Heart, what was the dentist Polly Walnuts? Oh, this is actually true. Oh.

Just one month after arriving in Japan in 1946, the dentist was handed a stupefying assignment. The architect of Japan's war against the U.S. needed dentures and Mallory was to make them for him. So Jack Mallory, who's the dentist and his roommate, a dentist by the name of George Foster, called to the prison to examine Tojo, whose teeth were decaying and crumbling from his gums.

He said, I knew I was going to meet an evil man. We fucking wiped their ass off of the earth. They literally, they killed 700 people who were in the Navy, by the way. And we, I think, in the firefights alone, we killed like two million Japanese people. It was 9-11 for gay guys, if you think about it, because they just killed guys in the Navy.

Right. They just killed a bunch of guys who were butt fucking on a ship. Yeah, wearing little in and out hats. Do you think there was guys in the Arizona trapped under water who were just fucking the shit out of each other? Just one less guy. No, I'm sure they had guys jump,

I'm sure they had their falling man like jumping from like the USS Indianapolis, but there's a guy in his ass. It's two guys, one is in the other guy's ass and they're falling. The falling man, yeah. They come right before they hit the pavement. Yeah.

No, Japan did, you know, they also did a funny thing because they couldn't get to us, but they started this mission where they're like, we're gonna make these big weather balloons and release them full of dynamite to like time them where if they hit the ground, they'll explode, and they released like, I think like 10,000 or some of them

in hope that they blew into mainland US The wind switched and it just like blew like right back into Japan and just like blue churches and fucking like school buildings up There was one bomb that made it here and like killed Like preacher and like two kids who were trying to like get it down and they're the only Like in the history since the revolution where they're the only like Americans to die from war in the continental inside the continental United States Hmm from an act of war. Yeah Hmm is that him? Yeah, well Hedeki Tojo this guy he took a lot of LL's after World War two and which you know He they got fucking wiped

He tried to kill himself and then they like woke him back up and then they executed him He's a failed suicide attempt and then they killed him That rules that kicks in every picture of old Japanese guys just looks like he looked like a great director George Lucas stole so much from that guy. Deki Tojo. Man, poor Deki Tojo. He never could get a W. Yeah. Well, also we kind of there was a story of Emperor Hirohito, who the Japanese thought was like a god. The first time they ever heard his voice was the day

he announced Japan was surrendering to the US. Was they broadcast his voice for the first time on radio. So they thought like God basically came through and he said what that we're surrendering. General Douglas MacArthur went to go meet him and accept his surrender and they told MacArthur, don't, it's forbidden in Japan to touch the emperor because we think he's a god. And so MacArthur walked in with a photographer right with him, went and grabbed his hand in a handshake and then made him snap a picture and then that was blasted over every newspaper.

That it was like in the world Just look like a like not only did we beat you were also gonna kind of like cut your god Emperor a little bit Hmm. Yeah, why is there why are they showing the guy from Star Wars with the big dolphin head as Tojo is a general grievous. Who is this? No, that's I don't know the guy's name If I was Dan Aykroyd, I'd sue the shit out of whoever created this character for Star Wars. You think it looks like Dan Aykroyd? It looks like Coneheads, if you're asking me.

I think this is Coneheads IP. And if I was the lawyer that represented Dan Aykroyd and Coneheads LLC, I'd sue the shit out of them. How is that picture under a Wikipedia article of Hodeki Tojo? I don't know. There's also pictures of minions. I'm on militarywiki comm yeah, I mean it's ran by a 14 year old who like dresses up like a fox and chef stuff up God knows the sick young free runs this ran by Jaco's kid who's trans

Secretly, yeah, he's like a trans three-year-old Who knows how fucked up his family is He's like a trans three-year-old that kid who knows how fucked up his family is And I'm trying to find the guy with the big head cuz I don't know why he's on here But regardless, I don't see any I don't see the overbite with a Deki Tojo There's like no photos of the man's teeth. So they really had to do some digging Because they hated him yeah, there's a if If you look into propaganda and racism throughout the year, there's crazy stuff. Like, I think this is true.

In Nazi Germany, their caricature of Jews was they had huge dicks because they were viewed as these animal-like creatures. The same caricature we have of black people here. Like a horse stick. Yeah, that they're these beasts who are here to like, you know, rape our women basically. That was their evil propaganda,

was that Jews are hung and pleasure all their women. And that's why Hitler was like, kill every single one of those fuckers. Hitler did have like a micro dick, right? He had a micro penis with a disorder where he had the urethra on the underside of his penis. And one desiccated. He was like little dicky.

Yeah, exactly. Little dicky and Hitler, one in the same. Yeah. Damn. Well, and you wanna share anything else about London? I mean, we learned a lot when we were there. We walked a ton. We did. I thought I was gonna lose weight,

but then I started going, oh, I feel like I've lost weight today, and it's two a.m., that means I can eat a bunch of Nicocato ramen from the liquor store. at the end of every night I'm like four more non alcoholic beers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I would like I would yo Yeah, we counteract at all. We walked like 13 miles a day, but by it but it still didn't matter It was like 25,000 steps a day or something insane. Yeah

You were chafing hard. You looked very silly. You were rubbing? Do you know, by the way, I chafe, I don't know how I do this, because I walk so shitty, I chafe on the corners of my balls and my legs. Yeah. How? I think my balls are big and my balls rub against my legs and chafe my legs. You walk so shitty that your balls swing

between your legs while you walk. Sort of like a Newton's cradle if you will, right? Yeah, well, it's cuz you have like ice spice hips And those giant every hips that's crazy my the the between my balls And my legs like that crease. Yeah, yeah, I got you. Yeah, I got you. It does not look good Yeah, it's very red looks like, I got you. It does not look good. Yeah, it's very Looks like tycobs hands. There was one sea coral To my penis looks like a sea coral to yeah, and my balls are

Like a day laborers fucking dude if I dove in the ocean right now Like I'm finding Nemo fish would like live in my dick and balls Your balls would be a whale Fall build a whole community. What's a whale fall? That's when a whale dies it falls to the bottom of the ocean and then there's a whole community created around this dead whale That's beautiful of sea creatures. Yeah. Wow. I hope they can you guys do that would be when I when I die Yeah, a bunch of racist fish build a community around you Yeah fish Hitler built a bunker in your ass. Yeah. What are we going to say, Devon?

I think I cut you off by the end of the like the first day when Ben walked a lot for the first time. He his legs and he was walking with his legs like this far apart. Everywhere we went like it was 70 Sam. Yeah, it was insane. And then at one point I was like, I knew he was Chaffin, I used to be a fat kid. And I think I was just like, you could put some lotion on. The lotion helps.

I never thought of doing the lotion thing because I thought people do powder. Talcum or something? No, no, no, that's actually, it's counter, that's if you get sweaty, like swamp ass and you want to get rid of it. That'll actually make you chafe more If you put talcum powder you need lotion our petroleum jelly is what runners use

But see here's here's oh cuz you want it to be slippery you want that's why slippery is just sliding across each other Gymnasts use that like that white face powder that like Koreans use yeah, they put it on their hands Yeah for grip for grip. Yeah, which creates a ton of friction. Yes, we want to remove friction from the situation My giant ball you want to think my fat ham your your fat thighs have almost become like a V8 engine And you need motor oil to keep the whole thing from breaking down over time. Yeah, that makes sense And your balls are like little pistons just shoving in and out the Airbnb. I think some old guy was watching me Through the window like as I was sleeping this motion sensor light kept coming on and I thought I saw people moving I thought somebody was outside. Yeah

and then we didn't have bath towels and then the only thing in the in the shower were There's no trash can only thing in the shower was like lotion like hundreds of bottles of lotion this guy stole from us it was really no body wash so we were washing with lotion and dry this is really coarse like terry cloth bath mat maybe that's why they're so stinky they don't have any soap or anything what was white it was a white Airbnb owner mmm and they have no clue They're not keeping up with the fact that it's getting hotter there. So there's like no air conditioning anywhere So no, there's really you know every time there's a heat wave like half the country die

I tried to explain this to Devon like the walls. It's not made for like, you know, it's it's a totally everything Stands like like a blitzkrieg, right? Like a window unit and just like put it in or something There was a really shitty air conditioner in our place, but it wasn't the windows don't open like that They just open like with a little they open at the top Like German windows, yeah, they're like stop rain or whatever. Yeah Was it so it was just like a little portable AC unit. Yeah, that doesn't even work. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah, those are actually bad Yeah, that's really bad for you

because they like just put mold in the air. Dude, what if I woke up at three in the morning and I'm like, who's there? And I just see a hand that's placed a bowl of butter chicken on the table. And it's an Indian guy's hand just crawling back. And I just hear, you owe me 17.99. 17.99.

You're like the opposite of Santa. Come on. It's actually butter chicken. Come on. It's right there. Just eat it. I put the spoon there. Come on. Sit down. I saw you on Brick Lane yesterday. I followed you home. I followed you.

I saw the way you were dressed. I know you wanted. I saw your balls the way they rub. You want to. I'm haunted by the manager of an Indian restaurant on Brick Lane in London. Oh, spooky. Those guys are so aggressive. I thought I was going to get home and open my suitcase

and one of those guys pops out like my friend. I'm not going away. We have excellent table, cold water. I never. Garlic Naan is free on me. I'd never seen anything like that, honestly. They were like those videos of like a white woman We're at the beach and they're surrounded by Indian guys except it was they were trying to get you to eat their food

And they could sniff it out with me. Oh, yeah They were on me like Party guys, we love the stink. Oh, we joke My cousin is the one you make fun of on the show in Tarzana. He told us all about you. They swarmed on me like when you scatter bird seed at Central Park and all the pigeons just dive at it.

You're like that video that went viral of that white woman walking through Harlem and just getting catcalled for nine hours. But by Indian guys to eat their butter chicken. Oh, hungry baby. Hungry baby, you want food? I appreciate them. They focus there on the food and the vapes.

It's not a over here. I don't know what's in our water, but the Indian guys over here are horny as shit. Yeah. Over there, it's a different kind of Indian guy. They are there to work and to grind the or was it burn the midnight oil? Yeah I think they send their horny as to America basically they send there like best of the best Maybe Indian guys seek asylum here. Yeah for being too horny. Yeah, I think that's what it is Yeah, because the the internet but my friend you have to go over to America. The Internet is so much faster. I know you have a goal of watching every single port of video that's ever been made.

You're going to have to go to the stage to get that kind of white high down harassing the AT&T installer guy. When is fiber optic coming? I was promised fiber optic. I can barely watch nine videos at once. My friend that is 50 like tablets open On the on the floor. He's like doing my nor do report hands It looks like an octopus watching like in the architects room of the matrix

Little little ball rolls that is like a new crap posted a bikini pick Why are you? bikini big Whatever who cares I'm sorry I was I was disrespectful of By the way in closing the the the ubers were fucking up at LAX on the way back home or whatever and So I just hopped in a cab because usually it's about the same. It was fucking doubles a hundred bucks to get home Yeah, you gotta ask them before I got a cab like mr. Bigshot like no, no, I know how to barter with these guys I've been around the block

It's always either cheaper or the same that you got it always works for me. You got to ask him to commit to a number That's how you do it. He literally walked up my goal. It took advantage of my white ass Yeah, I've literally walked up and I go who can do like 70 and like one guy finally raises his hand Yeah, I don't know. I had an uber driver It was like 48 49 bucks and he had the fast pass so we flew down the 110 Yeah, it was the grass. I flew into LAX, it was the first year they allowed Ubers to pick you up. I did the Uber and they were doing the,

it was like $180 to get home to Eagle Rock. It is such fucking bullshit, the Uber system at the airport. It's bullshit. So you have to go to this fucking Uber concentration camp. You have to get on a bus that then takes you to the fucking taxi. It really does feel like any scene in an Apocalyptic movie

where the military's killing people. That's exactly what it looks like. It's so annoying. Those movable fences everywhere. Just let them come through the airport and pick you up. I don't get it. It's not any less crowded anymore. Yeah, because they still have to get all the way

to the airport to get to the fucking fence. It's terrible. I'll be using it in literally seven days. I got totally ripped off by my guy. I got there with 100 bucks. It's fucking. It was so funny, he was texting me like, this guy kicks ass.

He would do anything for me. He was, I thought he would die for me. Did you not see the little ticker going up in front of him? He didn't have one of those. He totally lied when I got there, but there's nothing I could do. He was like a Gola Gola island, like African guy. I was like, whatever. He's just going to fucking rip me off.

And then we got there and I hit no tip, which I never do. I had no tip because he fucking ripped me off. He goes, oh, but he was like, oh, we're doing any guys so much. Well, not so easy is it in my village? What is it? Now? How do I get back? You can do Jamaican now. He was just like, hmm, he goes, no tip. He goes, why no tip? I was like, I'll give you a tip.

He's like, what do you want to give me? I go, just 10 bucks. And he goes, oh, very good. And then he loaded it up on the thing and I paid him 10. He absolutely cucked me. He cucked me so bad. You should be driving, he should be doing the podcast. You should be driving the cab now.

Fucking asshole. I paid like over twice, over double of what I could have. You can cut me so you should be driving. He should be doing the pockets. You should be driving the cab now fucking asshole I paid like over twice over double He like pickup artists my uber on my phone kept saying to pick me up in like terminal one and it wouldn't do the Bullshit that we had to go to and I was like I just gave fuck I fucking gave up What you kept trying to order it on the bus on the way to the thing? It doesn't know where you are the LA flyway Yeah, you have to get on like the you have to get on a little bus that then takes you to the to the concentration camp Yeah, or you can do the fly away to Union Station run out without paying which I've done many times and then yeah

Go to that Denny's and then take an uber home. Yeah, whatever I I Ode something to the universe because you know the dinner that was walked out on so whatever Oh, that's right. Oh you guys walked out on a dinner? No we didn't. We were kind of forced to. My friends that made the movie they're all like they're all broke and they like love to steal and stuff and we had a really nice Indian dinner, a really nice place and then

they the service was terrible. It was taking over an hour to get the bill. They didn't give us our bill for like 40 minutes and then these guys the service was terrible that it was taking over an hour to get the they didn't get they didn't give us Our bill for like 40 minutes and then these guys just started like devising a plan to like slowly walk out and Ben and I are like Like this is really fucked Do this And then they just I was like I'm gonna go to the bathroom But when I come back if you guys aren't sitting here, I guess we're walking out on the yeah

What are you gonna do? Yeah, so I did and they weren't there anymore And so we all just kind of walked out like oceans 13, right? I Just ran past right and then better thinking that felt really bad all night about it Yeah, I kept saying he's gonna get some karmic payback cuz he's a you know, he's like all he's all doped up on Religion and yeah, what not? I would be worried that it's almost like there's an order to things. You think like Peter's karma, Mujibu Savile lived like 90 years. Yeah, it's actually.

They didn't find out he was fucking mental patients till he died. He's burning in hell with OJ. Yeah, no, he's in heaven, OJ is also in heaven. Nicole's in hell. There is like literally karma, but it literally like works in reverse, like the worse person you are, the better your life goes. The universe, I karma, but it literally like works in reverse. Like the worst person you are,

the better your life goes. The universe, I do believe that it's an evil thing created by the, it's the Demiurs, right? And it's created by an evil guy, a malevolent force. And we have to break our souls out from the cage that they were enslaved in. The were slaves of the flesh, we had to break free and like ascend, right?

So if you're like an evil piece of shit Who's a bad person who fucks people over and lies to everybody constantly you'll be rewarded in this life You'll be you'll be financially prosperous You'll you'll get whatever you actually want and focus on if you're willing to fuck everybody over right mm-hmm, but I mean Christ was like fucking, he was completely broke and all of his friends turned their backs on him. He walked out on Indian restaurants all the time.

Think about Christ on the cross, all of his friends betrayed him. And he's sitting up there and he goes, fuck, I don't have a single friend. Except literally the bitches. The bitches were the only people who stuck around. Ain't that a damn thing? Ain't that not the truth at all that the damn true there's that a woman

that's why you have to think like a man act like a Jesus mm-hmm I would have been worried that the butter chicken street barker guys were like this underground network like John Wick no it was it was like a hip it was like a white owned like it's a rules amazing best Indian food in my whole life Really, but uh yeah, though. It's they have like four locations out in London, so I guess that's why I didn't feel that bad I'm like you guys are kind of like a like a chain out here like a gourmet. Okay. Well if it's a chain It was one of those very hip and the service takes forever though, but uh yeah, it's still felt. I still hated I don't like oh, I don't like I've I've

Had people try to do that. I was at Chili's and people try to walk out with no tip And I was like well, I fucking have to pay the tip now. Yeah, this is a big table. You know that's the one It's also like you're not tipping already. Yeah, just pay the bill. Oh, yeah, you're not tipping I'm not really tipping out there. Yeah Yeah, Ben felt really annoyed. Yeah, Ben hated it. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean that's because you know I'm trying to like that gave me a big fire. There is some order and you got a true We were at a bar afterwards if that was going on a big like fire brimstone. I got to write about it. Mm-hmm Well, it was nice though. It was coming from a place of like morality. Well, I mean you were right

Yeah, you want to do the right thing. I don't like people. I've known a lot of people who are very into stealing. Every gay person I've known in LA is very into stealing and I've just never been like... Stealing people's innocence. Yeah that's right. Why they like them young? Stealing children's virginity. And that's every single one of them right Adam Carolla? But I've just never been into the like I don't really think it's that cool to be like stealing from you know places and stuff Look if you're stealing from like a giant corporate like sure whatever, but like you know I don't know I mean You feel You wonder if Christ died of a broken heart

On the cross because not only did his friends betray him and leave him alone, but so did his father. He called out to his father and his father did not come down. The loneliness he must have felt must have been... Yeah. Sorry. No, you keep going. No, go ahead.

I was going to say there's a tweet that I... I'm just being gay. This is not original thought of me at all all But this was a tweet that apparently in Catholic doctrine when Christ was in the garden of Gethsemane Thinking about whether or not he would be crucified He witnessed every sin that every man would ever create which means that according to the Catholic Church He was like literally watching people like jack off to like Sonic the Hedgehog born and was like all right, okay I'll still do it. Yeah.

That's how you know that motherfucker was crazy by the way. That he still was like, fucking mail me. Christ was crazy as hell, boy. You crazy as hell. He watched his brother jack off the SpongeBob and shit. And he still said, I'll die for that weird little motherfucker. Motherfucker turned water into OE. Yeah, he moonwalked on the water, bitch.

Yeah, baby, he's a swisher's of men. Swisher's sweets. Brother, hand me up that blunt and let's smoke this good good. Pass me, I got that concrete, brother. Yeah, they passed the communion with the juice and they're all little goblets to drink out of. It's gin and juice.

Yeah. The cracker is actually just a white guy in a tray. Hey, how's it going? I'm a white guy. Don't think I know, it's fine. I have to get in my job. I'm a white guy that black comic talks about. Yeah. No, I have to get my job. I'm a white guy a black comic talks about

You know every time we sit down I don't know what we're gonna talk about but lo and behold we did it again Yeah, damn it. We did it again patreon.com slash living party. It's the end of the road if You haven't signed up for the bonus episodes That is if you sign up for the bonus episode you got you got 90 plus episodes at this point You got the vlog of me and Devon going to London Yankee in the South style Are we an episode 90 on patreon? I actually don't know something around that. Yeah anyway patreon.com slash limbo party to If you want to binge the bonus episodes and get a new bonus episode every week, or if you want to get your name at the beginning in the credits or at the end.

But God bless you guys, and we'll see you next week. Peace. See ya. Bye. I'm sorry. I was in love with a Mexican girl Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Bolita would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Bolita Wicked and evil while casting a spell.

I love was deep o'er this Mexican lane. I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while young Calmore came in, Wild as the West Texas wind.