lemonparty - 090: Much Bleeding

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

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Many men, many men wish death on me. Dog, I don't cry no more. Don't look to the sky no more. Have mercy on me. Ah, Protect 47. Godspeed, Mr. President. Godspeed. God fucking President. Godspeed. God fucking speed. Godspeed.

Yeah, I was really hoping there was a Lemon Party fan, by the way. I'm not kidding, I checked the news expecting to see my father's face show up. Yeah, we said your father's on the run like Samuel Mudd, like the guy who helped John Wilkes Booth. Your dad's gonna get hung by who? Fucking the American government. My dad was probably the second shooter,

but knowing him he was too cheap to buy bullets, so he just shot blanks at him. He tried to put nails down the barrel of his gun? Oh man, God bless Donald Trump. You know, there's no place for violence in politics against your political opponents and whatnot. He is Hitler, but I'm happy he didn't get killed. Many men go pee pee on me.

Poop in my eyes, stockin', I can't breathe. It's weird, everyone's sharing the many men song, I'm like, this is the gayest song ever. Many men? Many men's amazing. Like many men are coming for me. It's like, all right, why are you singing about a bunch of guys? Why? Shut up, you.

Cracker ass bitch. Now he's sounding like that. All those ladies at that party we were at on Friday. That bunch of hens. A bunch of hens came into Connor's apartment and started asking if we were racist. They came in squawking. Yeah, it was funny because we were we were literally we were all kind of drunk And we're watching to literally too lazy to try like the thought of big Christ you're on a big TV And we're like in our in our element and then like four brown women just walked in all of a sudden

Yeah, and we acted like cats when like the mailman comes to the door like we ran under chairs I was actually I was actually cool when they walked in. I was like, OK, party start. And this is it's a Connors wife's friends. I'm like, OK, let's see what these broads are about. And they were like, hey, are you racist? And I was like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they are. What about it? What of it? They got like, what? I like your podcast or whatever.

And I was like, no, probably not. We're pretty racist on it. We're gonna talk shit about you on a new episode, actually. Do you wanna like me? I mean, when people ask you if you're racist, I mean, I just. Say yes. I just go, yeah, whatever, fuck you. It is freedom.

Just say yes. Yeah, sure. Whatever you think, yeah, I don't give a shit. You don't have to be on trial. You can walk out of the courtroom. Just say yes, guilty. You can't get into a big long thing about like like no, I don't conduct my life based on race I just talk a lot of shit about everybody

I'm goofing around but I'm not like I'm doing some joke them up. I'm not leaving the house and like Side-stepping, you know Mexican people. I'm not like not making friends with them cuz they're backing up over a fruit not like not making friends with them because they're backing up over a fruit cart. What do you want to say? He on a pineapple. I love that. I'm not canceling Ubers if the name is Jamal. Like what do you think? I don't drive past the taco truck and go like, OK, don't don't ram into it. Go straight. Oh, man.

But yeah, I mean, protect, protect, protect. See, we don't go out in the wild a lot, but I forget, because that was my life for many years is I would go out in public and people would just say, you're a racist piece of shit. And I'd go in the shirt. But you would also do stupid shit, like wear a custom made shirt that said, I'm racist.

Yeah. And then wonder why things were happening. You'd wear a shirt that said, ask me what race I hate. I don't get it. People think I hate black people. I'd wear a shirt that said, ask me what race I hate. I'm like, I don't get it. People think I hate black people. I'm wearing a shirt that said, I'm racist, question mark? Huh? You'd walk around with just the Aunt Jemima bottle

pointing at it. Like, I don't get it. They just don't like me. You know what Trump's assassination attempt really proves? What's that? Is that comics are not safe on stage. We are under attack, folks.

It's Will Smith all over again. That's right. I mean, that's the first thing I thought of. I go, I am praying for people at the Chocolate Hut. I was wondering, what is Judd Apatow thinking about this right now? He could have killed him. I will say this.

If I was some sort of sniper, and I'm assigned to protect the president from assassinations, I don't know if they discussed this in training at all, I intuitively would look at the roofs. I'd be a guy that looks at roofs, windows of tall buildings, things like that. I think roofs are a big deal. Historically.

When it comes to assassinations, yeah. Historically, I would be looking at the roofs. Windows. From the sky. Around, yeah. But, who knows, it might have been an inside job. Might have been, who knows? I mean, the kid was 20 years old,

he had no trace of anything on the internet. It really does not exist online. What fucking 20 year old's never been made a profile? His parents didn't even upload photos of him. I mean he does look like shit. He looks so retarded. What an ugly retard that was. He looks like the type of guy who pretends to be gay

to get girlfriends. Yes, yeah. He died with painted nails, like black nails. He got pegged that morning, he wasn't into it, but at least the fat gay bitch will fucking nail. Yeah, initially it was that first video, the first person we thought did it was that like fat like antifa guy Yeah, then I found out I saw a YouTube I wish it was a huge fat guy like a 400 pound Tim pool

I was like this can't be a Tim a deep end of the pool. Yeah, Tim Jello pool. I initially I was like, this can't be real. Tim, a deep end of the pool. Yeah, Tim Jell-O pool. I initially, yeah, I initially thought the shooter was just like a frustrated kimchi taco truck owner from Portland that was just ready for war. Die, die, Mr. Man. Am I appropriating?

Fires once and then just his collarbone snaps off his weak body. Man, crazy though, and I don't think it, this is good for the country. I'll go out on a limb here. You know what, Devin, you crazy. I'll go out on a limb here and say I'm not, you know, Ben keeps saying he'll be dead in a couple weeks.

This was the failed attempt by the Patsy, the first Patsy, JFK had the same thing, you know. This is the problem, people called me, a couple weeks before. People called us to go wait for the information. Here's the information, history. Read history books, know anything about anything. You can know exactly what's gonna happen

because every story's already been told. Go look what happened with JFK. Miami, they shut it down. They have millions of patsies, they just gonna keep rotating them in until the guy's head blows up. That's what's gonna happen. But is Trump, is he as impactful as a JFK?

I mean, Trump is Trump, but like, I don't know if he got much done. I don't think they're that afraid of him winning again. Yeah, he didn't really push anything through any. I know there's that whole Trump 2025 project or whatever. He doesn't even know about which will he pretended to. But he loves he loves that. Well, don't talk shit about it. Doesn't it doesn't it doesn't the whole thing say like we're going he pretended to, but he loves that. Well, don't talk shit about it.

Doesn't the whole thing say, like, we're gonna throw every Washington Post reporter in camps and? I show him, like, hey, that's not too bad. I like that. They wanna take him out, because he's a Christian. Well. He's a Christian, man, and they wanna kill him

because he's carrying the cross. Was it even an assassination attempt? All right, listen, I was on CNN the minute it happened, and they said he fell. Yeah, I heard there was a pop, I heard somebody was making popcorn and he fell. Somebody was- That's what CNN told me. Somebody was throwing poppers on the ground,

and he slipped. He fell and he bladed himself down on the ground. And then he cut his ear, because he's into wrestling. That was my favorite theory I saw on Twitter that Trump literally had a blade tucked into his fucking wrist and just on the ground just real quick. He's the wrestler. I know.

He's stapling himself. They're going to kill him fucking combo breaking bad. He's going to be standing outside of McDonald's after a rally with a fucking big gulp. Shot by a Mexican kid. If they do, we're fucked. We gotta move to the middle. We gotta move.

Nah, it's hysterical, it'll be fine. I don't think, I think if we- Don't transfer their worship from him onto some other guy. Fuentes will be next. Fuentes, he's gotta wait like 15 more years he'll be president. Takes too long. Well, there'll be a civil war until Fuentes takes over.

I don't know, man. I don't know.. I don't know I gotta say though was there riots after they killed Caesar or didn't everything just move on fine The next day people were at Q Doba like nothing happened. Yeah, was there Twitter with Caesar? Yeah, they heard about it four months later They were like, ah shit. Yeah, which I known there wasn't even any fucking hot takes about Caesar. Yeah No one had an immediate hot take there was no one made it about that. Yeah, like one had an immediate hot take no one made it about this like everyone on Twitter There wasn't like I make this a million people pushing just shit through a tennis racket Just a thousand pieces of shit falling everywhere

It feels like a bunch of people like trying to get through one door at the same time when you go on Twitter Yeah, but they hit everyone's just flailing hit the door and they all puke and shit themselves From the pressure of trying to get through at the same It was terrible. Yeah, I saw some of the worst jokes of all time. Yeah comedians I'm not gonna name because maybe they'll shut us out one day But but then they would screenshot their horrible joke on Twitter and then put it on their Instagram. I'm man bombing here, too Put it on their Instagram and then under their tweet they would tag their tour dates for like side splitters and I go god There's just nothing just soulless callous people. Nothing will stop you from trying to just sell hot wings

At a fucking strip mall. Mm-hmm. That was the coolest moment in American history. It was it was pretty fun I don't give a shit what you think of the guy. Yeah, I don't fucking care about him. That was a fucking awesome He's he's already he's top two, three people in the history of the world. Probably. Yeah. The guy got shot at, ducked out, then got up and immediately seized the moment. Yeah. Did a power fist. Did a turn into Sid Vicious, turned it into a punk show. That's the sickest shit I've ever seen.

Got up angry too. He might as well have like kicked his, those dyke secret service ladies in the pussy on his way to the fucking suburban. Grabs him real quick, pushes him up off the stands. Who was that, that incompetent dyke? That woman that looked like Shane in the sleep cop sketch

Yeah, what are just just fanning her gun about the crowd like looking around she couldn't holster her gun Yeah, she can she missed like five. She missed a million times and there was a transcript where she was going. What's happening? Where do we go? What do we do? Unbelievable. Yeah, man If you if you carry the light the world sneaks to seeks to, you know, extinguish it. They take their doubter and they put it on. They snuff the flame. Remember, Ben, they didn't try to kill Malcolm X till he tried to unite us all.

Well, I will say this. They didn't kill Brother Malcolm. They preached unity. They kill anybody who has the black vote. And that is true. Anybody that black people get behind is killed in America. Yeah. Well, if he didn't, he does now. For sure. Can I get shot at? And that is true anybody that black people get behind is killed in America. Yeah He does now for sure Guy get shot at Yeah, I mean they're gonna kill him. They're gonna kill him real soon He's gonna be dead you guys enjoy the laughs and the goofs enjoy the lat

These are the this is Patrice at Caroline's this is these are the final days of him touring and doing his act Hope you guys P later. He's gonna die of his stroke. Cause Trump can't stop eating Chinese food at 3 a.m. I think he really probably had a religious experience over this from false reports that I'm seeing. I think he's gonna come out in like a tunic

and like really long flowing hair. I told you I truly think he thinks he's God and I kinda think he's God too now. I think he's God too. I wouldn't be surprised if he walked across the Potomac into DC right now. Why would he not believe that? Yeah.

But honestly, here's the thing about Trump, I don't think he's reflected on it once. It's the beauty of him. I think it's the beauty of him. He just woke up today and he just started playing golf, and he's just gonna use it as a moment, but I don't think he's even thought once about the fact

that his brain's almost got blown out. He approaches life like an animal in planet Earth. I will say this. Almost got killed again, whatever. I will say this, Kennedy sort of accepted his own death in the months leading up to it, and they accept this sort of historical role that's at play. The stars are aligned,

the comets are hurling through the stratosphere. It's this divine thing that they accept. When I saw him put up his fist like this, he goes, I know you guys are gonna kill me, but you didn't get me yet. I don't think he even thinks that. And I'm gonna keep going.

What do you think he's thinking about? In his mind, he's just like, the lip touch, try it again. He goes, I'm sure that was Jim Acosta. Yeah. I sincerely think he was on the ground, realized everything was fine. He goes, it's showtime. Yeah. That's literally, that's the beauty of him. That is what he did.

He's literally thinking like, this is gonna kill on Twitter. When he was saying, can I get, hold on, let me get my shoes, let me get my shoes. I'm surprised he didn't, he didn't switch into tap dancing shoes He's built for this shit yes, he's unstoppable. I don't think he's as important as JFK, and I don't think I Don't know I just I don't know I don't I don't This obviously does feel like an inside job the Secret Service was retarded mm-hmm But there's also a part of me that just was like maybe there was just a retarded guy that tried to shoot him

I kind of like it if there was just a retarded 20 year old like Kuiper People keep saying about the about the the security He's this is his stand-up tour like I don't it's not the same security as when he was president like I know It's the Secret Service, but he does so many shows. Like they've gotta get jaded. They're like, it's just another, it's another arena tour. The snipers, the counter snipers were just like local police. You don't think like Shane's security

at like the Crypto.com arena are occasional, they're just like, yeah, he does this like every night. Like we're not on the lookout all the time. Maybe they were just laxed, cause it's like he tours so much. Or maybe they were laughing their ass off. because it's like he tours so much. Or maybe they were laughing their ass off. Like he was making the SWAT teams laugh so hard,

they lost focus for a bit, because he called like Jeff Bush a gay guy. That might have been it, you know what, saved his life. The guy lowered his sniper and went, oh man, he's on a tear right now. No! He's too good. Hey everybody, if you and your partner

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so I highly recommend it. It's time to start having the best blowjobs of your life. Head to autoblow.com and use the code lemon to snag 10% off your order. That's autoblow.com, code lemon for 10% off. Thank you, autoblow, now back to the show. You know what saved his life was he's had an illegal immigration chart going on in the back of him

and he went off script and he turned his head to start riffing and so like he was. You would've seen the base of his spine explode from that angle. He saved his life, his own life. By ripping up out Mexicans. Because he was going off and being like, the beaners, they're coming in,

they're rapists, and that saved him somehow. He got saved by doing Lemon Party, basically. Well yeah, he was doing an act out, and he went into an act out, and then that's why the guy missed, thankfully. Because his comedic chops are so good, he actually saved his own life. Which proves that the best cure is comedy.

It does. Isn't it? Shame on you though Devon How so you you you've denied the name of Trump three times before the rooster crows, huh? He is Peter he is denying that Trump is not actually that important. He's important and you're saying Trump is the Christ That's the one true Messiah What did he actually do in his first term in terms of policy besides? He's just annoy the shit out of like the country. Yeah, the only real cause of him

The only real thing was the SCOTUS judges, but that was fucking Ruth Bader Ginsburg's fault anyway Yeah, and he you know, I guess probably some like the tax raises he did to the tax Environmental tax ship and like that's par for the course with these guys. What did he really do? Well see, here's the problem. Now you're asking me for concrete evidence for my clan. There we go. And I don't actually know what's going on, but I will say he's not PC, he's anti-woke, and maybe the woke mob's coming for him.

Maybe that guy's mad because he did retard arm that one time. Remember when he did that? Yeah. Well that guy did have like a cleft lip, didn't he, or something? He looked like, he looked like a... The guy he made fun of when he did that. Yeah. Well that guy did have like a cleft lip Didn't he or something? He looked like he looked like the guy made fun of the guy that shot him Oh, I thought he was just very ugly. I didn't know I thought he had like a cleft lip or Tyson chicken it looked like fetal alcohol. What's his name? Like Thomas Adams crooks crooks

By the way, if you're born with three day, like if your parents give you three names Do they just hand you a rifle and like and they tell you to like just one day pick a politician? Benjamin Allen Avery they go. Yeah, you're that's yeah, but you don't go by that that baby's gonna my baby's I guess you're right Terrible things one day Hopefully to a black civil rights leader or maybe actually no one knows Adolf Hitler's middle name So it's not really a thing today. Don't they were have a middle name Let me Google that real quick on Devin's phone Adolf. Yeah It's like Jamal or something it's Jamarra quiet Adolf Hitler

Middle name. I wonder if it was like Randy and then your Google's like you've asked this 20 times already yeah you've reached your limit on searching this on Google oh you actually did not have a middle name hmm damn that's probably why he did it that sucks it sucks not to have a middle name middle names kick ass well you're actually probably right Ben about what maybe he'll be dead in three weeks they're gonna kill him and by the way if they can't get him with a high-powered rifle from a position of a you know from the sky as This is the they're going back to the hits. They're going back to the playbook that they've had in the workings for many years Get a guy

Who's radicalized make him a patsy, give him a high powered rifle, and put him in a high position. That's all you gotta do. There was the story of the cop walking up to the roof looking at him with the gun and then just running away. Literally doing the town, just being like, oh, I didn't see anything.

But if they can't get him like that, they can get him many other ways, my friend. They can get him many other ways. They can't get him with his food, he keeps eating McDonald's. Literally can't poison him. Can't get him like that they can get him many other ways my friend They can get him many other ways with his food. He keeps eating McDonald's Can't poison him can't poison him because he randomly eats frozen fast food That was put in a microwave the food cooks too fast for you to poison. Yeah, he eats those gas station microwavable cheeseburgers They keep trying to poison those but he did they're so bad for you that he's built up an immunity to poison. He's eating so much Red Dye 40,

he can't be poisoned anymore. You gotta poison, you gotta like, yeah, you can only poison someone if they're drinking hot tea or something. Yeah, yeah. Something that needs to steep and be sitting out in the open for several minutes. He's probably getting poisoned every day, and then the 20 Diet Cokes are just killing it immediately.

Yeah. Just melting the arsenic out of his body. Maybe the aspartame is like, yeah maybe it's neutralizing everything. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you might be right. I think he's got superpowers at this point. I truly, I told you downstairs,

I kind of half believe if you shot at him and he held his hand up like Neo, the bullets would stop. I agree. I kind of almost, he bends reality to his will. He's already, he's already bended our time. Yeah. I mean, also with like, literally like Biden is doing press conferences where he's like,

my staff lets me eat cookies if it's not late. And then Trump's power fisting a gunshot wound. Yeah. Perfect timing. Dude, this is so crazy though. Like yesterday he could have had his head blown off on TV. I know. And it would have been this would be a completely different show. We'd be like, whoa, maybe we got to we might got to get out of here.

Yeah. The FBI said we can't record podcasts anymore. Things could have drastically changed. We got to get the hell out of here. It's weird to watch something like that and not like be like, this is crazy. I'm amped. What a moment. But then be like, I don't'm amped what a moment but then be like I don't know what this means for the future though and it's probably not good and then literally just be like well I guess I'll go to Chipotle or

whatever yeah I'm gonna go well I don't who gives a shit I'm gonna drink yeah who cares cheers Chase who I mean here's buddy week two I mean I almost threw up on Friday night okay let's let's run through the scenario right now. Let's do it. Let's run through a scenario. Okay. Okay. Trump gets his head cut off on live television by some sort of insurgent group or something, right?

Some guy, let's say he's a leader of an Antifa group, he has Marfan syndrome, he looks like Osama Bin Laden, he's wearing a fucking... But he doesn't have the term in his head It's just that swollen That it looks like he's wearing ones and shit in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's some guy They cut his head off or whatever. They make him like squeal like a pig on live television. It's it's fucking crazy or whatever Okay

So now we've entered a civil war of some kind, right? Because there's going to be all these conspiracy theories. And you guys think it's going to be like George Floyd when they were burning a target and like the police precincts and stuff. And so I think it would be worse. I think it will be guys like genuinely just fire like anyone that they see with like blue on. It will be like Crips vs. Bloods, but with white people.

Like anyone that they see with like blue on it will be like crypts verse bloods, but like with white people It would truly be like anybody with a nose ring in Florida dies the next day Yeah So you think like states will be attacking one another and like going into Territories or do you think like all the United States will become a green zone? I Think like a couple states would actually try to secede. I think like Florida should like that. I think Florida would like actually try to secede. Probably.

Yeah. I kind of think it would be like the L.A. riots but everywhere. Yeah. And like the type of thing where you're like, don't you shouldn't drive. They've created their own little society down there. OK. So if it actually gets that bad

right there's a financial crisis of some sort. Right. Sure. That causes even more of like a Drug epidemic, right? So people there's gonna be more homeless people more people on drugs Things are gonna start getting bombed. Yeah things are start It's gonna become a green zone in some territory some places you can't go. It's like the homeless thing. I think Unfortunately, I think the right wing Radicalized guys would just take them out. Yeah

It could be good for this country. Yeah. It's like you buy cats to get rid of mice. Yeah. And you go buy dogs to get rid of cats. I think all the right wing guys would just turn into Patrick Bateman. They would just they would just be walking up the homeless guys in alleyways like, hey, man, you're fucking loser. You know that? I think all the narcissistic liberal gay guys, I think those are the guys who would do the most killings by the way.

And it's like for self pleasure too. I think every ripped gay guy in Santa Monica would immediately become Jigsaw in their own home. They would start capturing homeless people and torturing them with crazy shit and drilling holes in them own home. They would start capturing homeless people and torturing them with crazy shit and drilling holes in them and shit. I think they all want to be like Ed Buck. We're seeing right now the libtards are more violent.

They care less. I mean, me and Devon were at lunch yesterday. And what's funny is there was a shitty ass 55-year-old gay guy outside who's in perfect health with the little shitty dog that sucks ass. Sure. As is the trope. Sure.

And did you see the homeless guy come up to him on the bike and ask him for a buddy? No. And he looked at him like if he had an RPG, he would have fired it through the guy's neck. He vaporized him in a way I've never seen anybody glare at a homeless person. Like how dare you ruin my matcha and Caesar salad right now,

you cocksucker, I'll kill you. Old gays don't fuck around. No, old gays are actually very Republican usually. But don't a lot of those guys still pretend to be liberal outwardly and once they get drunk they start quoting like mind statistics and stuff. No, they don't need to pretend anymore, they think just simply sucking dick

and fucking men's asses is liberal. And they don't think you can all go be a Republican outside of that. It's gross enough to be liberal. It's literally the beauty of identity politics. You don't have to do anything good in your life. You can just be a deviant who will go to hell one day. And I wanna be clear, not because you're gay,

but because you've led a sinful life. Well, cleanliness is next to godliness, as is a made up verse that's not in the Bible. Exactly, I'm just saying if you suck off 50 guys at once, regardless of if it's straight, if it's gay, you are going to hell. Well, it's gluttonous. It is gluttonous.

At the very least, right? It's gluttonous. Yeah, it's gluttonous. Yeah, you can't do that. It's just not safe. No. You get dehydrated. Yeah, it's gladness. Yeah, you can't do that. It's just not safe. No. You get dehydrated. Yeah, literally planning your week around the day

you're gonna get fucked in the ass by 500 guys. So that, okay, so that's absolutely- Thursday, nothing but rice. Because Friday, this thing is getting reamed out. But thus is the melting pot of Los Angeles where we are in this post-apocalyptic scenario, gay guy outside with a little shitty dog who hates homeless people and probably other races of people, too.

I think we can make that assumption. Sure. Probably. He seems like a very like stay out of my space type of guy. Meanwhile, me and Devin are inside with my daughter and my wife. We're enjoying a nice meal. And I get up with my and I'm sorry, I'm about to mention that I have a baby in the story. It's not about my baby, the baby is in the story. But anyway, there's gonna be 90 comments

that I'm telling a story about my kid now, but the kid is just in the story. We're really sorry his life doesn't reflect your loser lifestyle. It's true. At the same time though, Redbar's in your head. Ah! Wait, did Redbar go off on me with that?

Oh, I think a little bit. He went off on everything about you. But I think it's for the best. I think he likes you. He just wants you to be better. You're depressed. I was very funny. It was great.

I talked about it on their recent livestream, but putting the whiskey up to my face was so funny. Yeah, it was good. And at some point you said, he goes, I go, all right, I gotta go give my daughter a bath. He goes, pedophile! Pedophile!

Who gives their daughter a bath? Yeah, he did smoke your ass, man. He fucking got you, dude. He's funny as shit. He was like doing not like us to you. No, I clarified my comments on the Friday's live stream. But anyway. That's good.

But anyway. It was about to be brought up by the president. Yeah, Joe Biden comes out, he's like, I know Red Bar and Ben are at it. Our country's more divided than ever. Ben's had it. Ben handled it. Ben are at it. Our country's more divided than ever. Then's I have Ben handled it. Ben handled it yesterday. And he was on the livestream, Jack.

I watch every livestream after my nap. He did a third livestream. I think he called him, he didn't stoke the fire this time. Yeah, and then the news was like, actually the most cogent he's been in months. Talking about the Ben Avery Redbar feud. Anyway, sorry I did. No, no, no, but at one point I stood up

and I had my baby and I'm blocking off the walkway through the restaurant basically. And I turn around and I see the last thing I wanna see, which is an angry black man in his 40s. Okay. And he's... The last thing I wanna see. Mm-hmm.

Well, it's like if it's like a white guy with a gun, a black guy kind of angry, a black guy not smiling, a black guy who had a tough day. Anyway, so he's, he's, you see a tiger with a gun strapped to its head and you go, woo, thank God. But I apologize and I get the stroller out of the way and I go, oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, I didn't realize you were behind me. And he just did this. And as soon as I moved, he just walked by and like sat down and I was like,

in my head, I was like, why does it say Jerusalem on his on his fucking shirt? And he has a star of David. Black Israel. And he fucking sucks. Yeah, black is black is really black. He's a black neo-nazi know not this is can I tell you he's winning right now by you talking about this That is their whole goal in life is to turn on white men. Yeah, like activate them clearly He was very mad that I had a white baby. Yeah, and then I was white Yeah, he's mad that your baby used to be black Oh if he could snap if he if he was left in a post-apocalypse issue situation he takes my baby and punts it

Like fucking like a fucking football. That's not he shoots it like a basketball Spinning spinning around a singer. Yeah, he does Harlem Globetrotters tricks with it before shoving it in a trash can Hey everybody, we're back with our favorite sponsor Ruby's Flowers. They wanted to let you know that in 2018, the farm bill was passed in the United States. An unintended result of this bill passing was that it effectively became legal

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Thank you Ruby's Flowers. I talked to their owner, he's a very nice guy. They're doing a lot of business with us. And a lot of people bought from them and they've enjoyed it. So go ahead and check them out. And now back to the show. By the way, why don't liberals shit on black Israelites the way they shit on neo-Nazis? Because they're terrified.

Yeah, they're black. Yeah. Because they're fucking, they're black people. Yeah, if you're liberal, that's like defusing a bomb. But what the fuck? I'm in Los Feliz. I'm having lunch with my friend and it's a it's a Supremacist group. It's a radicalized group. David Duke is sitting right there and you're serving

You're happily with your shit-eating fucking grins serving him eggs Benedict kick him out Yeah, what fucking retard he calls also he calls Jews bugs and stuff that he worships Farrakhan and all these yet. He wants to be a Jew It's so funny. It is kind of It's the same as a fucking guy with a clan robe, it's the same thing and he's walking in it away It's very obvious. It's a huge he had a flavor flayed star of David. Yeah, it was a huge blingy Star of David and it said Jerusalem like on his flat. That's very funny. He's trying to get signed really.

Yeah. He's like, well I need, I need Ari Goldstein at Rockefeller. I've been trying to get in with Rick Rubin for a while. Yeah, unless it was a black guy with CT who thought he was a Jewish man. That's what I'm saying. He probably thought that was a regular star.

He might've been too retarded. Maybe his name was Adam Cohen. I don't Cohen. I'm pretty sure you're right. It was probably a table of Black and he only sat with black people. Mm-hmm, and they were happy they were being black Israelites at the table eating We're just being black Israelites at a table and everybody no one had a table. And everybody, no one had a problem with it. No one had any problem with it. That guy just puts pancakes in his mouth and you go, look at this piece of shit. No, but here's what's fucked up.

I'm more likely to get called racist at a thing in LA than that fucking guy. Because in this house, we respect black Israelites. Ben, in this house we respect black Israelites been in this In this house, we let black people kind of destroy themselves in the inner city While pretending we give a shit about them Am I right black Israelites think they were the original Jews and Jews stole being Jewish post up in Manhattan all the time

like little Jewish kids like cry and say like You you're a demon and like, fuck you. We fucking hope you die. There's literally four hours of like white women finally being like, you know what? I'm going to say something to him and then just get like rocked. It actually rules. He's a terrifying dude. He refuses, which I don't know.

Is it the code that he refuses to make eye contact with me or acknowledge my existence? Probably because you're like a lizard person to him, I think. A lizard? You're like a satanic, demonic entity. Yeah, you're one of Yaqub's demons. So Jews are bugs to them.

Now, do they actually think Jews are bugs? I think they think Jews did slavery. They're always into the Jewish slave ships thing. And they think white people were creations of Yaqub, right? Yeah. So we're actually actually the original Israelites are black and they were extradited out of Egypt right I believe so and then Jews came along they're like actually that was us actually I'm gonna read so pyramid so that's that's the whole thing is like we are actually the chosen people and if you're reading the Old

Testament it's about like us yeah black people It's kind of it's kind of gay, though, because it's like people already think Jews are like retarded for the like saying that the chosen people. So like, why can't why can't these black Israelites like get their own thing? They start your own show. Start your own thing. Like, just why don't you say like, no, black people like started the earth or what? You know, the whole thing about like how everyone came from a black person or something like that. They're the original

Yeah, isn't that a thing? Well? Yeah, it was everybody was black. Yeah, you could who was an evil scientist on his island twisted black people and made them into white kind of like how the elves were made into The the orcs or Chi and Lord of the Rings, and that's I think that's also the plot of spy kids 3 Yeah, also sorry something like that. Excuse me spy kids I can't remember which one or from right? I think it's the original spy kids where they're turned into the fun people or whatever whatever is what you're talking about Yeah, I don't really know. Yeah But it's you can tell that there it's very funny when a religion is made up at least

No more than 70 years ago because they're clearly just copying like a cube is a big evil scientist with a giant head That's literally from comic books. Yeah. Like, Jack Kirby drew Yakub in like 1945. Yeah. And they're like, well, that's my religion now. Dude, I'm thinking about, like, what if I stand up at lunch

and I have to pretend to be a woke guy? I have to pretend to be a super progressive guy so I can be racist at this black guy? Mm-hmm. And I stand up, I'm like, hey, you're fucking racist, you black piece of shit. I didn't adopt the whole thing. But they're like, I think that guy is wrong too. I'm not really sure here.

You'd have to put on like the Palestine little scarf that they wear on college campuses and be like, hey, Mr. Man, Israel is bad. Well, that's a, yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, black Israelites are fascinating. It makes no sense to me. I'm like, what? I thought, it's just weird to.

I kind of love it, to be honest with you. They're funny. Yeah, they're very funny, yeah. They're scary as shit. I mean, if they're all about being tribal or whatever, they're keeping people out, they're trying to do what Jews kind of do in terms of sticking together, marrying their own, not fucking with other races and stuff.

So, I don't know. I mean, it is against the religion of Judaism to marry outside of being Jewish. Yeah, because they're racist. Yeah, exactly. Like Orthodox Judaism, it's like you can't marry a non-Jew. It's like you're saying someone who's not a Jew is lesser than you. Yeah, their religion're racist. Yeah, exactly. Like Orthodox Judaism, it's like you can't marry a non-Jew. It's like you're saying someone who's not a Jew is lesser than you.

Because yeah, their religion's racist. Yeah. And it's, you know, but anyway. Yeah, we're getting down a rabbit hole for sure. Yeah, yeah. There's a meter on the wall that says Patreon episode and we're right at the tippy top. It's just, but then, and then the night before,

we're at a party at Connor's house and we're getting called fucking racist. Well that was enough. And if that guy was sitting in the corner, they would have been like, that guy's cool. Those gals call any white person racist. That's actually them. They're trying to flirt, basically.

Don't flirt. Yeah, it's like white check me. It's like high school level thoughts on race. Like they don't know anything. That's what nagging is. Just white checking dudes. Yes. I hate white people. OK, sure. I'll come on your fucking face.

I literally about that. Or I swear to God, I'll turn your face white, bitch. If a Mexican woman comes up to you drunk and says like, fucking you, you like a you are 15 minutes away from having raw sex with her. Is that how it works? Yes. Yes I don't know anything they give you shit you give it back. You'd be like, yeah, I'm racist, you know go mow my lawn They start cackling. I swear to God Mexican women love that and the next thing you know, you're fucking them raw at the end They're pregnant for six months. It's exotic. Yeah, we're exotic. They're exotic. Everyone loves exotic. Everyone wants to go rent an exotic car. And that's us to them somehow.

Yeah, we're a BMW. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Maybe you guys are right. I don't know. I never was. That was completely they were just drunk and that was just funny. I'll give you the black. They weren't actually doing that shit. Yeah, I'll give you the black Israelite guy. But those are just women who very funny to compare

these like drunk girls coming back to the club to black Israelite guy, but those are just women who. Very funny to compare these like drunk girls coming back to the club to black Israelite. Women who are like, bitches. White guys have been taking shit for too long. That's all I'm saying. And that's why they're trying to kill Trump. Yeah, that's that dangerous Hispanic drunk girl rhetoric that led to Trump getting killed. That's right. Exactly.

That's right. Almost killed, excuse me. Well, yeah, I mean, maybe there is a but that led to Trump getting killed. That's right. Exactly. That's right almost killed. Excuse me. Well, yeah I mean, maybe there is a but that white guy was the shooter Yeah, so I guess or was he white do we know if it was a white guy? I want like blonde hair white guy long blonde hair. Was he like 5% Hispanic though? No, he looked extremely white He was really retarded looking. Yeah, I'm always for the 21 and me here whatever you know 23 me Trump shooter looked like he had a lot of Asian women in his phone Yeah, he really he really did look like he wears cat ears to get his dick suck from time to time He looked like he went down to Ming's Palace every Friday and tried to get the get the number of the fucking

Hostess he's outside and they're in the Asian women are hanging like ducks in Chinatown And tried to get the get the number of the fucking hostess He's outside and they're in the Asian women are hanging like ducks in Chinatown Let me get that kind of wide bitch. Yeah, I'm a white loser I'm here for an Asian woman that can barely speak. Yeah, they go. Oh, right here. He goes, huh? They just wrap him up wrap her up and like the fucking cheap plastic bag and hand her over. Yeah, no, he was just like a white, I think everybody interviewing said he was like a complete loner, had no friends.

One of his high school friends said something like, or not his friend, but said he knew him and he got bullied all the time. Yeah. What does that mean? This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. What? What?

Getting bullied. He probably bullied my other white people. No, I bet four drug Mexican girls came into his apartment the week before and was like, you're racist. You're racist. And if you shoot Trump, I'll fuck you. Like, if you actually shoot him, like, I'll suck your fucking dick. Because he's racist. He's racist, but like, like, you're barely racist. Just that is, but I'll suck your dick.

Yeah. Well, Ben, you know, you're experiencing the world now. You're going out, you're seeing what happens out there. But I'm not feeling safe. I feel unsafe. And I don't feel like I'm... I don't feel, here's actually, I'll say this. I don't feel safe expressing myself in America anymore.

Mm-hmm. Pfft. Ha ha ha. We turn into those podcasters. Where we have a show where we say whatever we want. For years I've been making a doctor salary to skate around the N-word. Like Michelle Kwan.

I am under attack. I am under attack I'm under attack well the rule on this as soon as I sit in this chair I have a guy in my brain that goes fuck it just say it who gives a shit who cares if you believe it just keep talking and then there's another that's one that's the devil on one shoulder and the other on the other shoulder and just like say it twice and just it two times right now. And then just go, pussy, pussy, say it. You know what, next time I'm gonna say something to that guy. If I'm out at lunch and I see a black as real white

sit down who's given me and my child an attitude and making me and my wife feel uncomfortable and unsafe, I'm gonna say something to him. Listen up, you fucking Neanderthal. I'm gonna say something to him. Listen up, you fucking Neanderthal. Hey, you need to sit down. Listen up, you new black type of guy. You a new being fellow.

Oh, man. So what's those guys' opinion? Oh Man So what's what's those guys opinion they do they want to take back Israel? That's I'm assuming they do right which is so funny cuz Israel suck shit. Yeah Chicago has more character just like I built that back up. It's like fighting over Irvine. What are you doing? So can you guys just go to Appleton, Wisconsin or something? Why are you? You want Israel back? It's just a bunch of rocks. Do that would actually rule if the black Israelites were we're taking Appleton, Wisconsin back. There's just sleep, a sleepy little college down gets taken over.

There's white people like, hey, you're getting on a gray hound. All right. Well, the government's giving me a million dollars to move because you guys are here now. So. Yeah. No rules. It's just very funny. It's very funny to me.

I'm just saying, all the hysteria I see on Twitter it's because of Christian far right groups. I'm like, well, there's a lot of extremist groups and as things get worse, there's gonna be more and more extremist groups and there's gonna be more and more cult leaders and cult figures and more hatred. As things get worse, people will resort to staying in their little tribe, in their little public.

Also, the people who are like, how did we get here? I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? We've like literally always been this. Nothing's changed. You're just a narcissist and you weren't alive more than 30 years ago, right? So you can't see that this is but you know, we shot like fucking ten politicians in the 60s, you know 150 years old rights leaders. Yeah everything 150 years ago. We killed 300,000 people when the country fought itself This is the history of

the the land that I know I Read about Malcolm X very briefly once and I saw that they got him I'm sure burning and you threw the book away Read that I read about Malcolm X very briefly. Well, I don't know a lot about the guy and I've seen that dolly shot great power forward I was thinking of Dennis Johnson. Damn it. I Saw I've seen that double dolly shot that Spike Lee does with Denzel Washington. I haven't seen the movie though, but I've seen that shot. Right.

So you get the shot. You get the soul of the man. I kind of get it. He's the glasses. He's stoic. It's a great movie. Yeah. I've read that they got him with a double barrel shotgun.

There were like two guys you stood up with. So they popped him with like like, like it wasn't even bird shot. They had slugs in them. At a speech or? It was a, yeah, it was a speech he was giving, I think in Chicago, and they started a fake argument. Yeah, a guy starts standing and he goes, get your hand out of my pocket.

Get your hands out of my pocket. And then all the cops, also a fun thing about Malcolm X getting killed, the Malcolm X stuff is very interesting. Malcolm X describes that he was followed by a thin-lipped olive skinned man for two months prior to being killed everywhere he went in the world. And he had been poisoned about three times

previously to getting shot. The day he got shot, there was supposed to be police as security through that entire speech. They all about 15 minutes before just walked across the street before he got shot. They weren't in the building. Like when it happened, Farrakhan had him killed. Probably Farrakhan, which is hilarious that the black people still like they

fuck with Farrakhan, right? Kind of. I think they kind of with them. I think they can't say he sucks because he's black. Even in Malcom, Dan filled in all those guys love Spike Lee's Malcolm X pretty much pretty much is like, yeah, Louis Farrakhan was getting pissed at him and had him killed. Yeah.

Yeah, he had to leave the- Which is insane. Yeah, he had to leave the nation of Islam. Yeah. Because of Farrakhan. Look, Keith Stanfield has been in trouble. Like he was on Clubhouse once, where people were talking about how great Louis Farrakhan was

and they were talking about how Jews were insects and stuff. And like, like, Keith Stanfield was in that and he got in trouble. He was like, oh, I was just trying to educate myself. It's like, well, what do you, you're like in the Hitler, you're like in the Hitler chat. Like, is that because you're curious? I was trying to educate myself.

I was like, okay, so they have wings. Yeah, so it's revelations. There'll be a locus with a woman's face and she's Jewish. Okay, so Jews love pollen, I'm just educating myself. Did you know horns are made of keratin, actually? The same thing that makes up fingernails. The horns are made to spread the pollen from bank to bank. All I'm saying is I think if you got in a,

I think some of these, I think the top black guys in Hollywood, I think most of them behind closed doors, I think they believe a lot think the top black guys in Hollywood I think most of them behind closed doors I think they believe a lot of the fair con stuff and they'd have a lot of things 100% oh this happened To anybody I think so too about like five years ago I think you know Steven Jackson all these former NBA players were getting very anti-semitic he was on like a Interview and just like started going off

about like the Jewish slave ships and like Jews control the world. Well like something will happen and then it'll be like a racist thing against Jews and then those guys will go like, that's the thing. Like yeah, people are finally waking up to the truth. And you're like, whoa, you actually. You go, whoa, you're black.

So we're not gonna say anything, but kind of knock it off. I think it's what Kyrie got in trouble for with sharing that documentary, but like I don't you know I don't really know what he what that means. They're just they're in a it's in a they're a cold war They're in a cold race war. That's what it is. That's why Jews love basketball. It's the rappers verse their producers They can't stand they no one wants to give credit to each other. They've been battling over most persecuted for years They want that they both want that top crown so badly. But when they accept the symbiotic nature of the, because they are opposites,

this yin and this yang in the world. If they accept this, how nature should actually work, when a great Jew and a great black guy come together, they create some of the best music. They create some of the best movies. And the Jewish guy walks away with all of the money. Historically, historically that's exactly what happens. Yeah, they make great music and then all of a sudden

the Ronettes are cleaning hotels for a living. Yeah, you got Motown. Okay, so Future does follow me on Twitter. Should I message him and ask him? Yeah. Yeah, keep, you got Motown Okay, so future does follow me on Twitter should I message him and ask him? Yeah Yeah, he's messaging future. Yes, he never responded to me, but he does he falls like 700 people and I'm one Are you gonna message just like what's up with the Jews? Yeah, I'll be like hey, can we meet up and talk fair con? Etc. You're really trying to get him to follow you, huh? I think you'd be like yeah, I'd be more than happy to. That'd be interesting.

Here, what should I message him? Hey, Blackie. Yeah. Message him, message him like, hey, I loved, I love Stankonia, great album. What do you think about the Jews? I think he's on-dreat. Yeah, exactly.

Hey, brother, man, let's fuck up some commas. Hey, I was just enjoying a nice glass of Cesar. I was wondering what you thought about those acidic homeboys. I don't think cool black people give a shit about the black Israelite thing. It's for nerds. Black nerds. Yeah nerds are black Israelites. I think white people are a shield for other people's racism.

I think other people can hold up the idea of the racist white guy to deflect the fact that their people are actually wildly racist. From Islamic people to any race. Every group is racist. Yeah, everybody is extremely racist. Literally every group is racist. from from Islamic people to every every race. Yeah, everybody is extremely. Literally every group. It's what this it's what this country runs.

Yeah. Salvadorians hate fucking Mexicans. For what I've heard, racism is basically saved. Yeah. WNBA. Can I say something? Yeah. Look at that. From my observance, white people are actually the least racist people I've met and seen. Well, when I worked in kitchens When I've worked in kitchens, I've worked in kitchens, okay, I've rode the bus,

I've eavesdropped. I've rode the bus. I sat in the back with them. I've been to Pakistan. Yeah, it's very funny to be like, I've been where the poorest minorities are, and they're not as good as these people in this very nice neighborhood.

I love that. I call it recon. I call it recon. Yeah, yeah, you're like the SEAL Team Six, going deep undercover. I've had Hasidic Jewish guys knock on my door. Like their kids knock on my door. They go, hi, are you Jewish?

And I go, no. And then they turn around and they walk away. They immediately act like I'm a ghost. Oh yeah. And they turn and just leave. Do you remember that day, this was like a year ago, we all went to try and go get food and we went to this place called the hummus hut.

Or whatever the fuck. I think it was literally called the hummus cafe. Hummus cafe. And we walked in and we realized it was an Israeli owned place and no one came up to our table for 25 minutes. 25 minutes. And we just got up and left.

We were like waving at people. They would walk around. It literally it kind of felt like, you know, you're like a black guy driving through the south of the 70s. They don't have it's our it's our green book. Yeah, it was our green book. Yeah, exactly. So we're not disagreeing. No, I'm just saying to me, it's it's just kind of what's what I've seen going on.

I've seen and yet everywhere I go, people accuse me of being racist. And it's just it's bizarre. And now they're trying to kill Trump. And I don't know. It's just they. Yeah. Who is the white guys who have been who have been trained? Trained by the media. Let me I would put most of the blame on the media because I think most people, like most white people

if you ask them, outside of these two gay metropolitanists, metropolitanists are like, yeah, everybody's racist, I'm racist, who cares? But the media is like what you're seeing the majority of and the media's only gonna push these gay ass stories because they're very feeble minded and very corrupt. So that's the thing I'm also trying not to fall into because I immediately get caught up

in the emotionality of it. I'm like, Trump's awesome, this kicks ass. Like he's a bat, like look with the fist and the blood and everything. I go, he's awesome. And then I immediately sit back down. I go, nah, I don't care. I'm still, it's still.

He still doesn't give a shit about you at all. No, just the political system is completely broken and I'm still not voting and democracy's not real and all that, so why do I, why am I getting worked up? I'm not, I'm not running where the crowd is running. Everybody's running this way to try to, fuck them. Go, I'm sitting in a chair. And I'm like, we get it, Ben, you're not a sheep.

We get it, Mr. Independent. Well no, you get wrapped up and you want to wrap, it feels good to take the American flag and you drape it over your shoulders. You wrap it and you go, oh wow, he's awesome. This guy's ass. It's much better to be a mob than to be on your own. It actually rules to be in a big group

because then your life has meaning and purpose. It is funny to drape the American flag over you like a rape victim. A little cup of coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Because freedom was raped out of you. I did see E. Miles Chong's tweet like over and over again,

we're under attack. You're Malaysian faggot. You're Malaysian, we're gonna invade your country and turn it into Velcro, shut up. Yeah, why don't you guys fucking work on having a plane that doesn't disappear? Why don't you tweet about that dipshit go eat a coconut and we're gonna destroy your entire country looks like utter shit I know ugly for Malaysian people ugliest man. I've ever seen. Yeah. Oh, yeah miles strong. Yeah. Yeah The end wokeness guy by the way lives in Switzerland. I just figured that so they also doesn't live here

They all care about us more than we care about us like fucking nerds. They're obsessed Yeah, so that's what you got to like not like you got to view the thing and be like that's crazy You know, I hope we don't go to a civil war But also you don't want to be one of these, you know, I saw from both, you know faggy liberals being like This is anything Trump faked it It's like well, you're completely out of touch with reality. And then Republican guys being like,

this is Joe Biden did this. I'm like, the guy who can't speak did this? Like he rallied people into a fervor, you know? Yeah, it's true. I didn't know people were saying that. That's pretty retarded. Everybody's saying incredibly retarded shit online right now. You did everyone except 30 people on my Twitter.

Well, I'll say this, Joe Biden didn't, he didn't do it, but his, the lefts, the left, their rhetoric about Trump doesn't help a retarded guy that wants, that goes and shoots him. Sure. Calling him, you know, Hitler and, you know, democracy is at stake. Then what are we talking about?

If democracy is at stake, then I guess someone should kill him, right? So some guy's gonna go out and get radicalized based on that. Yeah, I think it's just, for me it's more the hypocrisy of like all of a sudden you care about language, you know what I mean? True.

Like all of a sudden you care about decorum. Right. But the thing we love about Trump is he's like, look at that retarded fag. You know, that's what we love about Trump. And obviously you're like, that is not how a president speaks, Mr. Man. That's true.

You're hypocrite, you want your side to win. It's hypocritical. You're caught in your mob, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. The same as any gay ass liberal who's pretending this is a conspiracy created by the right. It would be funny if Trump causes a big problem for himself and his base if like tomorrow he announces

he wants to ban guns. Just because it affected him. He got really scared. He goes, guys, this is really scary. These are bad. These things are scary. This guy tried to kill me from a lot, like really far away. You see my hair?

This is fucked up forever now. And he wasn't next to me, he was really far away. Guys, I couldn't even see him. I'm saying, I think guns are weird. I think you guys are all weird. You guys are weirdos. You guys are weird, man. I'm saying, I think guns are weird. I think you guys are all weird. You guys are weirdos. You guys are weird, man. I'm done with this.

You know what? I've been gay this whole time. I was in the closet, now I'm coming out. He had like a Richard Pryor crisis of faith. He's going to Africa coming back. He's like, I don't like guns anymore. Trump comes back with big B necklace out of the Shiki. He goes, we need to preserve the black race. They will reign supreme

That would kick ass Yeah, whatever you guys mock me because I don't want to endorse any institution. You call me a nihilist. I'm hopeful I'm hopeful for the human spirit to that we will one day be you know free from this Front from this earth and that will ascend Okay, I don't I don't need to fucking subscribe to some political party or like religion or fucking. Yeah, we're not saying that at all. No, you guys are like wrapped up in this whole thing.

I've never voted. It's disgusting. I voted once for Roseanne in 2012. I voted for you, yeah. And I voted for you. You committed voter fraud for me. I committed voter fraud for Ben and I wrote in Kanye West. And that's a joke if you're from the CIA. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet the let you get away with it. You were a fucking immigrant. I'm not a nihilist. I'm a hopeful. I'm actually a very hopeful person. I'm the perfect amount of dumb. I have hope for everything. I get I think everything's going to be a OK. Can I tell you, I've kind of gone the same thing

because I've caught myself at times getting wrapped up in shit. And drinking now because I'm drinking now and it's it's really destroying my life. I Haven't even three days Haven't even three days true up My life's in shambles the cats are dead. I just stopped feeding them stop giving them water No, but I know it's a similar thing cuz I like I will sometimes have a tendency to get pulled back in and I have to remind myself, it's like, whatever happens, I have literally no control over it.

No politician gives a fucking shit about me at all or any of us. So just like, I'm just gonna keep living my life and not get caught up and wrapped and sucked into this gay bullshit. Yeah, I like getting mad about other stuff. Like what? Like, Rises of DoorDash going up or something. Yeah, I like getting I like getting mad about Other stuff like what like? Diner's a door dash going up or something right like the chick-fil-a they put steroids in their chicken now

And it tastes different. I'm like ah fuck I get the chicken sandwich. I buy it. I go at chick-fil-a I go oh, what the fuck come on? Fucking we had nothing else. This is all I have left. What the fuck you go down on one knee at Chick-fil-a Holding the chicken up in the air Yeah, I'm protesting outside chick-fil-a yeah doing the million chicken March I know I saw Trump got shot in the head and I turned to my wife and I said let's go out tonight Mm-hmm and I we went to Excalibur pizza roundtable pizza over here and we I I

wanted her to try the chicken and garlic gourmet pizza mmm and we got some garlic bread it was was good you're really good nice I got some diet Pepsi too okay nice what size the biggest size they have beautiful mm-hmm you guys come home and watch a movie No came home and turned the stuff back on him getting shot Yeah, that's better than a though because I wanted to see what was I want to see if the shooter, you know Look like grimace and a dress or something. Yeah Want to see if fucking you know, what kind of what McDonald's tertiary character like killed him this time

It's always one of them. Yeah the hamburger jumping from the roof fucking yeah grimace You know every shooter kind of looks like a fast-food mascot. Yeah It does it does rule what I just love how retarded America is the fact that like one of the biggest interviews like that'll be played I'm like Ken Burns documentaries is the guy fact that one of the biggest interviews, that'll be played on Ken Burns documentaries, is the guy with the maga visor with the big furry wig coming out. Holding the beer saying, yeah, he's hot too. Being like, man, no, I fucking know guns.

Don't tell nobody I don't know guns now. You know? That just rules. I saw the guy crawling on the roof. I was pointing and they didn't come. I'm like, yeah, he kicks ass. Don't blame me, I voted for the emo lady. Ha ha!

You know T-Drikk is getting geared up like a commando right now. What did T-Drikk say about this? I checked T-Drikk's Twitter like eight hours after it was radio silenced. Yeah, he doesn't want to say anything. Actually, I'll check T-Drikk right now. He doesn't even want to do the gay ass liberal thing of like, I wish Trump the best.

Right, right? Yeah Yeah, like political differences aside blah blah This is not our democracy operates. It's a shame. I think his at is it's Jeff Tiedrich Yeah There's so many Jeff Tiedrich copycats real Jeff Tiedrich Jeff Tiedrich said I wrote a, and it's an article about it. Oh, here we go, here we go.

When, this is from at, it's Jeff Tiedrich. Okay. Six hours ago. All right. This is, we're recording this on a Sunday. Yes. This is the day after Trump got shot in the head. The day after Trump got shot.

So if any insane stuff comes out. And this is coming out in a day, right? Yeah, or two days. When political violence happens to Republicans, Democrats go out of their way to denounce it. Oh, right, so now he's... When political violence happens to Democrats, Republicans crack jokes.

That's not true. No, it should, this is, I'll fix it. It should be all the same, and then he says, when political violence happens to Democrats, Republicans are funny. That should be the end of it, he says when political violence happens to Democrats Republicans are funny That should be the end of yeah, actually yeah when anything happens Democrats are gay They're all very sorry Paul Pelosi had a hammer shoved up his ass by his gay lover She goes I've also been a victim of political extremism

Your husband was trying to get sucked off and almost got killed like a turtle in Mario Brothers. What are you talking about? So he goes, and now the worst fucking people in the world shift effortlessly from being Parkinson's disease experts to being assassination attempt experts, fucking hell. Which is totally different from what I'm doing writing about this. Here's an idea, maybe guns shouldn't be so fucking easy to get. Here's an idea.

New rule. He's literally just such a fucking boomer hack retard. I know. Just a fucking liberal boomer retard. Yeah, I mean, he's pretty good at guitar though. Climate change? Here's an idea, how about we warm up to the idea of changing the president?

Hey guys, here's an idea, how about you knock it off? What a loser. Make America Make Sense again, how about that? Jeff Tiedrich's eating dark chocolate, drinking red wine right now, writing this bullshit. Yeah, yeah, using a vibrator on his pussy. I'm on jeftiedrich.com right now and it's good. I'm not paying for the article But can I read you what I can see you? Yes, please read it

But also we should start paying for his articles so we can read them. It's a write-off. Okay, I'll put it on the company Jesus fucking Christ Seriously question mark with all the bullshit going on right now, some idiot, apparently a registered Republican, of all things, opens fire on Donnie Convict. Ha ha ha ha! It keeps going, it keeps going. Oh my God, this sucks so much. This is so good.

As for the Republicans, I wish I could say the same, but they're not. They're acting, oh I'm sorry, I skipped one part. Here we go. This morning, every establishment Democrat is denouncing political violence and wishing the best for Donnie. As for the Republicans, I wish I could say the same,

but they're not. They're acting like a bunch of meth tweaked monkeys right now, screaming incoherently and flinging their shit in all directions. These grievance babies are incapable of having a rational reaction to anything. That was italicized. Pretend Hillbilly.

Did you put on a leather jacket to start typing? Oh yeah. Pretend Hillbilly JD Vance, set down his glass of $500 a bottle of Chateau, Lafitte Rothschild, picked up his phone and typed out the following paranoid fantasy Today is not some isolated incident The central premise of the biting campaign is that President Donald Trump is an authoritarian

Fascist who must be stopped at all costs that rhetoric led directly to President Trump's attempted assassination Yeah, I don't even know He sucks ass and I hope about it. He sucks ass and I hope. Bleep that. Yeah, bleep that bleep that. Yeah, no, he's extremely gay. I do think he rides the city into episodes of the West Wing. Just a little Jeb, a diet Bartlett speeches about some soldier from the Civil War and he's going off when he goes to the job.

He types in newsroom clips on YouTube. He goes, oh fuck, a democracy that never existed at all. So he goes, he's halfway through the article, he's already listing Donald Trump's felonies. Halfway through, he's like, quick reminder by the way about Donnie Convict. And he starts listing all the big, all the big. Donnie Convict. Off the ground.

I would love if it came out. By the way, they stole his thing with the nicknames and are using it against him. Yeah, they love him. And then they call him retarded. You stole his playbook. How retarded is he if you're using? They're also trying to steal the badass thing.

Like I tell it how it is, but they can't make fun of people in a funny way because that's racist or ableist. So they just have to say fucking shit storm. Yeah. Fucking cock tornado of shit. Yeah. And fuck. He goes, Donnie Convict. He's such a hero, a man's man.

Not like that decrepit old Sleepy Brandon would have never pumped his fist. Sleepy Brandon. Really? Well, he's he's I guess he's embodying a Republican. Try to be like, yeah. Oh, OK. Sorry, I lost it. Yeah. Well, he uses a lot of, he's doing the highest form of comedy, which is satire,

which is where you say the opposite of what's true. I would love if it came out that he had like an R. Kelly level sex dungeon in his house. Yeah, I'm trying to see how he he his deranged worshipers aren't even waiting for official assassination merch. They've already started creating their own Well, yeah, they they have the greatest moment He's really being a sore loser is what he's yeah like dude You got to give it up you got to like fucking bend the. The fact that the American flag was in the back of that picture, it's crazy. The fact that there's a leaning pole

and it literally looks like Iwo Jima. It's unbelievable. It's insane. It's like God is Roger Deakins and he framed that perfectly. The only person God protects is Donald J. Trump. Guys like, I love that guy, he's so funny. So at the very end, I kid you not, Jeff T. Dirk starts begging for money.

He's like, here's a donation link to support me. Yeah, I'm trying to escape a toxic household situation. Yeah, he goes, I'm doing some quarterly fundraising for my other venture, the smirking chimp. I think that's a newsletter he writes. Vaguely a he writes vaguely a little it's vaguely a little lemon party ish yeah it's about Ben Carson yeah because yeah please give me five dollars and support the chimp huh hmm odd very

strange and he said what's what's what he calls Barack Obama that's it's a very it's very weird man but yeah at the end he calls Barack Obama. That's just, it's a very, it's very weird, man. But yeah, at the end he's, I thought at the end he would wrap it up and call him like Donnie Diaper or something, but he just, no, it's just, it's the classic liberal thing of like, hey, by the way, I'm broke because I suck ass and no one actually likes me.

And people only come here to dunk on me. I'm a fucking hoop. I'm a basketball hoop that people dunk on all day. And that's why I'm known. That's why I'm fucking known. I stand outside all day and people talk a basketball to my fucking head. Yeah. Anyway, he's a. Honestly, I'm not surprised to say the least.

I bet him and Josh Gad are meeting up at a bar right now and they're really they're really peeved. Josh, I can I can guarantee you and Josh Gad are meeting up at a bar right now, and they're really they're really peeved Josh I can guarantee you Josh Gad is so gay. He's actually very upset about the assassination attempt probably that's how gay He is yeah, he's crying that we've gotten to this place. We're at this point in this country Yeah, the the shit eating libs rat pack of they should have a rat pack where they're what it's like teedric gad They're all walking around Beverly Hills like for guys who have never gotten pussy consensually that looks like rats pack the fat pack there we go there we go the shit that the Mount Rushmore of shit-eating libs it's like Chuck Windig he's the guy who's like have a heckin

good day my coffee he's the soy face red hair, have a heckin' good day, my coffee. He's the soy face, red hair guy, right? Yeah, who got fired from writing all this Star Wars novels for Disney because he was sucked so bad at Twitter. He was that, you remember Chuck Wendig? Little bit, yeah. He was the guy who was like, have a,

it's Monday, otherwise known as, like that type of guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remember him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally got fired from the job where you're like, what if boba hut was black? And gay you need a software update in the form of coffee That was one of us that was to be sarcasm loading. Yeah that kind of guy. Yeah, like buffering like So it's I think it's if we got the Mount Rushmore You got T. Drake gad Lin Gadd, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and then Chuck Windig.

Yeah. Lin-Manuel Miranda, he's kinda gone sleeper. Yeah, he went away somehow. Yeah, he sold enough of his framed selfie pictures and went underground. Yeah, he does instrumentals now. He's like the alchemist. Yeah. Well, God bless them all, man.

God bless them all. God bless Donald J. Trump. God bless Donald J. Trump. God bless our country. You gotta give it up to him. If you're a Lib out there and you're not. Even the Democrats, you have to condone violence. You have to give it up to him.

They definitely all didn't want to see his head blown apart. I think he's Hitler. I think, I wish nothing but the best. No, but I want Hitler to be saved. If I saw... No, no, wait a minute. They didn't kill Hitler, did they? Oh, Hitler's safe? There's no place in our country for shooting Hitler.

If I saw baby Hitler, I'd tuck him into bed, sir. I think we talked about it before, but there was one girl at our high school that was like, it's why is everybody celebrating that they think that a man is dead? Osama bin Laden was he was a person and he had children and we shouldn't be celebrating what a rate. I had a guy when we killed Osama bin Laden. I was in college. You were in high school still and I was in the like the eating cafeteria cafeteria and I was like I was like, whoa, we got him and the guy goes

You're happy that a man's dead. I think you should examine your relationship with God Oh my god, and I would I wish I had the self-confidence I have now to just shove his face into the milk machine Like Brad Pitt and once upon a time what a moron I. I know. Sandals, granola eating, Christian guy. Yeah, fuck him. Dreadlocks girlfriend. Hope his Subaru blows up. I can guarantee you he's like Republican,

works for his dad, CPA for him now. Yeah. Are those just guys that think Islam kicks ass and that 9-11 was good? They're just guys who just wanna feel superior to everybody regardless of what's happening. I'm like I can root for Osama bin Laden getting killed. That's pretty cool. I think it's okay. Yeah, I literally haven't lost my mind.

So I can think that's cool. I'm not mentally insane. By that definition, by the way, you should pray you should you should pray every night before you go to bed. You should pray, you should pray every night before you go to bed. You should pray for Donald Trump. If you're super liberal and what, you should pray for his safety actually. You should pray that God guides him and protects him and leads him.

God, I hate him and somebody should kill him, but please protect him. Please keep him safe. Keep him safe. There's no room for political violence. If anybody does what I want, I really wouldn't like that. Yeah, anyway. He lived, he's a rock star, yeah!

He's a rock star. Keep on rockin' in the free world. Free world. They're gonna kill him, by the way. I wanna go on record that he's gonna be dead by Halloween. I wanna go on record that I think he's going to become the president. I think he's going to win 500 electoral votes somehow. I think he'll win the president for 10 more terms.

I think he'll win every state. Yeah. And then I think for kicks, he'll just nuke America, nuke every state that he didn't win. Yeah. Just just bombs flying to California. Bold prediction. They kill him on Halloween. Guy and a guy in some sort of costume dressed up as a crazy clown or like a Michael Myers kind of guy very spooky guy in a Hillary Clinton mask stabs him in the belly Then it then and then and then and you see Jeff T. Dirk walking with a knife down the street Boom. Da-na-na, da-na-na, da-na-na, da-na-na.

Donald Trump just like Jamie Lee Curtis in that movie. Low cut top, running away. Dude, we gotta make that movie now. Where Jeff T. Dirk, he like. The local ween. Yeah. He's been, no one's seen Jeff T. Dirk in 30 years. He went crazy and he started a band and moved to Ohio.

Dr. Loomis runs in and he goes, you don't understand, he's pure wokeness. He's wokeness incarnate. And I must kill him. Da na na, da na na. But T-Driks theme would just be like, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. It'd be like Who Be Halloween.

That's still one of the scariest movies, man. Who Be Halloween. That's still one of the scariest movies man. Who Be Halloween? Well, the line of that, I love that character because you don't, it's like the Anton Shiger character where he's so badass it's like he's supernatural almost. He's not a man, he's a force basically. Yeah. He's death incarnate.

Yeah, it's great. It's great how they can't kill him in that movie It's amazing. He keeps falling out fucking windows like they they're killing him like Acme style by the end of that movie They're dropping like safes on his head and stuff He just keeps going and you cut it is believable and they made that movie with no money, too Mm-hmm right there right here right above where I live in Pasadena. They shot all that shit really literally like a mile from my house That's where they shot all the those streets don't look like Pasadena if where I live, in Pasadena, they shot all that shit. Literally like a mile from my house, that's where they shot all the shit. Those streets don't look like Pasadena.

If you go up into South Pasadena, it looks like the Halloween shit. Yeah, it's really beautiful. Off of Huntington, if you go up into Pasadena. Big classic Americana homes. That's where they shoot, anytime you see a fucking movie where white people are living in a nice house, it's in Pasadena.

You couldn't do that movie today because it's too close to Glendale. Yeah, if you wrote that movie today, Mike Myers wouldn't make it past the Armenian march. He gets hit. He's trying to cross the street with a knife. Bam! Yeah, bam, and then he's like,

what the hell, man, I was walking. My brother. My brother, man, it was green light, you fucking, you fucking, you fucking, you fuck me, man, you fuck my My brother, man, it was green light, you fucking, you fucking, you fucking, you fuck me, man, you fuck my car up, man. It was green light, you fucking walking in front of me. Yeah, and Mike Myers keeps trying to get up because he's superhuman.

And they just start like, they just keep fucking hitting him. They pour a bottle of cologne over him and then light it on fire. They tie him to the trolley tracks. You fuck with me, you fuck with me with your gay mask, man, fuck you. They run him over with the trolley of the Americana. Would you fucking gay mask, you homosexual bitch?

I'll drown you in the fucking fountain at the Americana in front of Pacific Theater, bitch. They're taking their chains off, choking him around his neck and shit. Yeah, Guy Rips a Lexus medallion and stabs him in the neck. Him getting killed by Armenians, it's so funny. One of their fucking fat titted wives comes over and just beats him to death with her huge ass. Anyway, we gotta go over to the Patreon

so we can keep having some good time. Yeah, yeah, we probably won't be political in the next one. Yeah, we won't be reactionary and gay on the next episode. But I mean, the president, they tried to assassinate him, unfortunately. Yeah, we won't be reactionary and gay on the next episode. But I mean, the president, they tried to assassinate him, unfortunately. Yeah, we gotta talk about it. Also, if you have any opinions about this, don't get sucked into this and become super fucking gay.

Live a life, you know? Yeah. Like, make your life better. Don't get sucked into like fucking groups like this. Unless your life sucks ass and you're powerless to make it better, then just get sucked into stuff. Right. Because then it distracts you for a moment Yeah, give yourself a little game and do and you know the you know

there's a These things are here for you to enjoy, you know You can just you can look at it like you're a new Lord of the Rings Okay, yeah, and you can choose you can choose to have fun no matter what's happening exactly. It's for the most part It's fun to have fun Devon. I hate watch pod Jason sad drawings by Jace Patron.com slash lemon party is where we're going now you got 90 plus episodes over there So if you're trying to go over there and binge some stuff me and Devon have a vlog on there from London We have golf content. We have streams on there old live streams are on there if you're going on a road trip

But you really want to binge the show from beginning to end a lot of people love doing that. Yeah, so we're doing fun stuff over there on the patreon and God bless everybody God bless Donald Trump bless America 47 forever God bless convict a Donnie convict. God bless the old Danny. All Alright, see you guys. Bye. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Roses Cantina Music would play and Folito would whirl. Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina, Wicked and evil while casting a spell. My love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell.

One night a while young Calmore came in, wild as the west Texas wind.