lemonparty - 094: Le Petite Mort

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

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Some people were like very upset with the there was Matrix falling rain behind me and they said it was incredibly like disorienting. Like they couldn't focus on what we were saying. As I said before we started recording, they think these are windows. They don't understand. These are windows. Yeah. They thought you downloaded us into a computer the studio is the back of a big truck

and this is the window to the side of it yeah we have it like a good morning America we're just retarded guys come with signs we're doing a van life thing yeah we record while doing van life we're killing women all across the country leaving them in national parks. That's our thing like the toolbox killer We have her on the podcast then we kill her. Yeah. Yeah Her last interview. Yeah, call her daddy. You get to call your father one last time and then we drag a knife across your throat Call your daddy. Let me have phone sex with them. Well, I'm holding a gun to your head All right. All right. Give me the phone. Hey. Hey, I'm not gonna fuck her. I just want to kill her. All right Your daughter's pussy stinks fuck you

He's like no fucker now proof that her pussy's good apparently that's a big Paranoia of women is that their vagina smells? Not to go blue real quick, right? That's paranoia, but just them understanding how science works. Just facts and reality. Apparently women, when they're on their period, they can smell their own, excuse my French, their own cunt.

Sure. Because that's what it is, when they're really, when it's really like cherry grenadine down there, it's really like a... To Shirley Temple, yeah. The red slushy machine, it's a cunt. It Shirley Temple, yeah. Yeah, yeah, the red slushy machine. It's a cunt. It looks like a guy who's making an old fashioned

but he hasn't poured the whiskey in yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't they be able to? Yeah, I mean, I can smell my balls all summer. Apparently they... And I do. It's like a rotting, like it smells like rotting flesh down there.

Which I guess that's kind of what it is. It's a dying thing. I always got a penny smell, something like that. I mean, I've never been in a room. Yeah, well, that's what I'm down there for. Yeah. I'm down to get the blood. You're sucking their blood out.

Yeah, exactly. And I'm spitting it in a big American Red Cross bag because I hate to waste any precious stem cells. I, we, oh, fuck, just stop me if we can't say this on the podcast. Obviously, we're not going to name who. And we're and we're gonna say what profession this person is. We raped a doctor Sorry, I don't know what you're about to bring it What do you just know someone whose pussy stank so bad that people were like they were staging things where they'd walk in the room

They'd be like, huh, I think there's a really bad of staging things where they'd walk into the room, they'd be like, huh, I think there's a really bad, maybe the sewage is backed up, or, people were asking, did someone step in dog shit or something? They kept doing that, recurring, making the person realize that they need to go home and wash their pussy and ass.

To help her out, because nobody wanted to pull her aside and be like, hey, I'm making up a name, hey Elizabeth, your cunt smells like dead fish. They would walk through an open mic basically and be like, oh man, it really smells like, I don't know, like a bunch of meatballs left in a dog carcass or something. I'm like.

Because you're trying to help a lady out. Yeah. Because she, well the problem is, is a lot of women are, they know their pussy smells really bad, but they think, they can, they're hypersensitive to the smell of their own pussy. Yeah. So then they don't, they go go, oh, but this guy can't,

because this guy's still talking to me at the bar. It's like the ringtone in middle school that older people couldn't hear. It was the high-pitched, yeah, they have a high-pitched pussy smell. They're dogs for themselves, yeah, bloodhounds. So then you need to help assist out by letting her know. So it was a black woman. Well, I

We're not gonna out who this is. I mean you just kind of gave a little bit away. No, I did I don't even know who we're talking. I'm Help assist out like God knows I just speak in a now. Yeah, I'm doing stand-up now So I speak in a this is you so I've been hanging out the Laugh Factory so much. I'm like, God knows. I just speak in AVE now. I'm doing standup now, so I speak in AVE. I've been hanging out at the Laugh Factory so much, I'm like, bruh! You've been preparing to leave your daughter when she's two. You're starting by speaking AVE. Yeah, no, I know a friend, similar thing,

where he was hooking up with a chick who was very hot, and her pussy stank, the sister's pussy stank was so bad. Wait, it's another black girl? There were five black girls in this story. No, I don't know who it was, I have no idea. And he was like, let's. You absolutely do.

No, I don't know who the woman was. He was fucking some dumb bitch that I don't fucking know. Okay, this is a Patreon. We're declaring it now. No! Women love this. You kidding me? They wanna know how guys think. Yeah, think like a man.

Yeah, rape. Think like a man, smell like a lady. Oh, stink like a woman. Think like a man, stink like a woman. So he was like, and they'd gone on like four or five dates and he liked her, she was really hot, and he was basically like, hey, why don't we hop in the shower like as a sexy thing? And then he was like I'll shampoo you and then he was trying to shampoo like into her pussy

basically to like try and just see if he could like Just clear the pH levels like once and for all and she like stopped him and he was like I have to I had to break up with you because your pussy smells really bad. And that was pretty much then. So he's like, what if I like fingered you with like a sponge with like soap on it? Would that be crazy? What if I used a, yeah, what if I fucking used a loofah

as a dildo, would that be awesome? I fucked a lady with a smelly cunt once. It was horrible. Was it bad? Right in my bedroom. Still getting that smell out. It took like weeks to get out. It literally smelled like Chinatown in San Francisco.

Smelled like we were by the wharf. It was horrific, it was truly horrific. You pulled your pants down and you heard, oh, oh. I couldn't get hard, I couldn't get hard. Because of the smell of the banana? It smelled so awful. Yeah, I've been about to go down on a lady I couldn't get hard. I couldn't get hard So Awful yeah, I've had I've been about to go down on a lady

And I like go all sexy down and I am butter pants and the smell hits me and then I go back up I had I do like pump fake up eating. Yeah, you got to pretend they're there. Yeah, they're an amputee They had their lower half They're one of those guys crawling on the beach and saving Private Ryan with the guts coming out their pussy. No, it's really unfortunate. I feel like you should tell them. Like, if I had a stinky pussy, I would want to know.

If I have bad breath, I'd want to know. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Now you're looking at me like you're about to tell me I have bad breath. No, you don't. I floss constantly. I brush my teeth all the time. Cause your breath's so stinky. I feel like my breath smells all the time, so I'm constantly brushing my teeth.

Yeah. No, I've never, I think it's happened twice, I've never told them and then, you know, you just have to ghost them and they think you, you know, are a piece of shit, but whatever. I'm not gonna sit you down and tell you your pussy is garbage. No, no, no.

That's, you'd have to be brother and sister to have some sort of conversation like that. Sure, blood. Like, look, I love you, you're my sister, you know I'd do anything for you. And when I fuck you, your pussy stinks. I can barely commit the ultimate crime against God. That's more of, it stays in the family discussion.

Devin, don't ever go against the family you never fuck outside the family you never talk about your sister smelly pussy I know it was you Fredo you fuck somebody not Yeah, yeah with both hands. Yeah. Yeah. But, look, I'm not gonna do that for, I don't love anybody enough to let them know something like that. That they're pissing you stank? I don't know. I'm not gonna tell anybody. Somebody could be making the worst decisions of their life, they're on a horrible road,

they'll die soon. I'm like, I'm not getting in the way. I've seen people that are so, I prefer to have friends where they're so far off the shore that they can't even be saved anymore. And you can just sort of wave to them. They just wave back. You're gonna get ate by something, or you're gonna drown.

If they asked for advice, you would almost say, you're so far, just swim, go to Japan and see if you can get to the other side. Yeah, that's right of rationale You know become a weird guy who's into Japanese culture. Yeah, exactly become like a weird monk in the hill some Have a Honda Civic super glue Funko pops to your dashboard. Yeah, listen to kpop Be weirdly bisexual yeah, go all the way that like Okwa. Completely bald with a ponytail down to your ass. Not getting, white guy not getting pussy from Japanese teenagers.

I knew a guy who went to Japan to get pussy and he didn't get laid one time. Man, I think they execute you for that. They add costumes, they go, did you get the new pussy? He went there for 20 days and didn't get pussy. Damn. And he was like, he was even looking for the blow job bar as he couldn't figure it out.

He didn't know how to find even the places where you could pay He's walking into a blowjob bar He walks into a blowjob bar and it's like prohibition they hit the button under the table and all the whores just flip Under the floor real quick. That's really that really sucks man. Yeah, Yeah, he kind of sat in some egg thing that he rented. He just rented a room that was shaped like an egg that he slept in, like a 2001 Space Odd, like a weird. The Star Child. He was sleeping in, remember Men in Black

at the beginning when they're doing the written tests? Great scene. He slept in a room like that, that was really tiny, kind of, and then he just got really fat and he flew home he spent all this money he thought he was gonna be getting so much pussy yeah from Japanese women which is like his thing and apparently if you go over there and you're an American you can really just yeah it's just home run after home run they have but he's bald unfortunately well it's probably not

just it's probably his personality looks and is, unfortunately. I think that was it. It's probably not just, it's probably his personality, looks and his being entirely. Well, I think Japanese people, they can't pick up on like a shitty person, white guy personality, right? No, he sucked so much ass, that Japanese people that don't even understand English, they were like, whatever this English is, is worse than anything I've ever heard.

He's awful. They're correcting him, they're like, no, if you could, maybe you walk up and say this. I think, you maybe, don't you think, opening line. Don't walk up to a girl and spread eyes apart and put big fake teeth in.

That's not good pick-up line. Yeah, they call them LBHs in Japan, loser back home. Guys, white guys who go and get pussy in Japan. Oh really, in Japan they have the names? I think the new Japan is the Philippines. That's where all the guys I see now go. It's like a farm system. Greg Popovich is recruiting from the Philippines now.

Yeah, you can just feed them candy and stuff. That's really tragic. Keep them on a chain to a mattress. You can't even fuck people that don't speak English. Everyone that doesn't speak English is like, they're like retarded to me. That's why everyone always goes like, it's pussy outside of the country.

I know they're all smart, but if you don't speak English, you're like retarded. Right. You want to pull them aside and be like, be honest, you guys don't have a real language. You're making noises. Half these other countries, all you gotta do is smile and have like a little energy and people are like, oh my God, is this Eddie Murphy?

All you need to do is walk up to a bar and be like, Konichiwa, number one. Yeah, you just act like, you just be like cute about not knowing the language and everyone goes like, ho ho ho ho, it's my day, it's my day, it's my day, ah ah, you're in. And you clean up. You're in, you can go to Russia if you just like,

fucking open a door for a woman, they can't believe it I've heard. Because every day is nonstop domestic abuse and ice and cabbage soup. Well I think you can clean up here pretty good. Like I kinda, I was at the mall today. I go to the mall pretty much every Monday and just sort of wander around.

I love the mall. Yeah, it's it's great when it's hot out. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. And there's they line up all the loser back home stores. They put them all next to each other. Sure. It was some like weird Funko Pop store that just sold sold Funko Pop. Well, they know they're going to catch them like weevils. They're going to get tired of walking So you got to get them to the the samurai sword store first that way they can roll over into the fucking kimono's Lilo and stitch backpacks over here the Funko pops over here

There's whole stores where you can just buy Funko pops and then right across the way It's the I didn't even know this was still a thing. I was I had this fantasy I'm like whatever happened to the guy who wears Superman shirts, you know, you know that kind of guy They'll die they were eaten by their cats as they died in their race car chair There's a guy who loved Halo, his favorite shirt was his Superman shirt. And he has fucking Funko Pops. Yeah, it's stretched out by his tits so much he looks like a swastika at this point. It's folded in, it looks like an SS.

Yeah. Because you can only see the sides. Right, yeah, and he just plays League of Legends and called 12-year-olds fags all day. Yeah. And it was great. It was a great life for him. Hey everybody, it's our favorite sponsor, Ruby's Flowers. Ruby's Flowers Hemp Farm is back and excited to announce that they have five new THCA flower

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for knowing the laws surrounding Ruby's Flowers products in your state. Do not take these products and operate any kind of vehicle. Please ask your doctor before taking these products if you have any health issues or have never taken these products before. Thank you Ruby's Flowers, and now back to the show. Yeah, I was at the The Funko pop store. There's places that just sell Funko pops They can't because people are close to killing themselves every day Devon It's just a little guy it was they're all little guys and they have Simpsons ones and like Super Mario

And 60% of people are if they don't spend $15 within the next hour. They're about to explode. They can't be alive Yeah, but that's kind of that's all I was like What if I spent 60% of my paycheck on like Funko pops and like Superman shirts and like like fucking I don't know Yeah, like Super Mario gloves. If I was just really, I just had like Super Smash Brothers like comic books and like all sorts of things. You think gamers- Lightsabers that I put on my wall.

Yeah, like we were doing this podcast. You have like a wife and kids and you're the type of guy you go, you like keep getting a suite at Disneyland every weekend. You don't even bring your family. That they're not invited, yeah. You don't bring your family. No, no, no, I hook up my Switch. You get the whole package. You don't even bring your family. No, no, no, I hook up my Switch.

You get the whole package. You get the whole package and you just keep staying, you stay at the hotel from Friday to Sunday. And you go to California Adventure Disneyland all weekend. I'm on roller coasters playing Nintendo Switch. You're eating the Mickey pancakes in the morning and you're making Goofy sad. Goofy's getting really bummed out about you.

And then in like seven years we find out you like raped an underage girl on like Thunder Mountain. You're in Toontown just looking for puss. Have those big turkey legs. You're on the cliff and the car's riding, you just yank, just as she was going past, just pulled her out of the car. I yanked her out with like a butterfly in that?

Yeah, big neck, you go, what? The family just jets away, like no! No! No! Everyone caught on to you, because you kept going up to the employees and asking where Jessica Rabbit is. Yeah.

Yeah, they go, sir, sir, Jessica Rabbit's right this way, and they go, we got another guy coming to the goon pit Get the get the bull fucking simpler life drain everything to zero. Yeah, what's the new? Yeah? What's the new fucking shit? Drain it down then drain me you stick your cock into the consumer hole of America You just drain you go suck me dry Sure, I like ice to minute made lemonade for $27 into the consumer hole of America and you go drain, you go suck me dry. Make me frown and bang. Sure, sure I liked iced Minute Maid lemonade for $27. It's hot! Give me a Butterbeer for 40 bucks.

I don't even give a shit. I need an iced lemonade! I need a child breaker the size of a basketball. That'll kill my child. I'm flying across the world! When they fly over Valencia, you smell the oranges. It's fucking great. It's the only time I'm ever outside. I want to go on, I want hyperspace mountain

to knock my head off. I hope the bars hit me. I keep standing and yet I'm still alive. I tried to put my head in the Tower of Terror tracks. The beauty of the Latino is they understand. All right. What? I'm not allowed to compliment a race of people?

Just drop the, that's all. What? The Latino. You make it sound like it's like we're on that, you know. Yeah. You're going to give me like their genus and their phylum. Like it's David Attenborough. What do you mean?

The beauty of the Latino. As you see, the young Latino makes his car look like shit in order to attract females in mating season. The young Latino puts a wing on the back of his Honda Civic because he thinks it can fly. You'll see the young Latino is getting the worst clown tattoo that's ever existed. They understand nuance.

Yeah, sure. When I was in the Funko Pop store, as I was leaving, I went to the, they keep some of the Funko Pops behind glass. If you can believe it. Some of them are like lock and key, there's a pen pad and a code. Do you remember what some of the high value

Funko Pops were? Yeah, the only one that registered to me was the Bart Simpson werewolf from the Treehouse of Horrors episode. That makes a lot of sense. And I looked and it was like, I don't know, like a couple hundred bucks or something. Jesus Christ.

So anyway, you should have bought it in front of all the other retards that are inside there and snapped it in half in front of them and just watched everyone fall to the floor like Skyler White in Breaking Bad. Like, no! No! People kill themselves.

Fall to their knees and you see their knees unbuckle. The tendons snap and the knee folds forward. And by the way, Vandal, we love you. I know we're shitting on basically your mark. No, Vandal makes his own shit. Yeah, but he makes like Funko Pops, essentially. No, he doesn't make Funko Pops. No, he doesn't.

No, but that's the market he's in is Funko Pops guys. No, what Vandal does is he makes his own thing. What these people do is they go, man, I love Pee-wee Herman, what if I had an action figure that didn't look like him at all? And I just stuck that in my fucking room. It's people who want to see their collection of media

that they pulled over the years. No, no, no, Vandal's doing art, for sure. It's art, but he's selling Funko Pops. It's people who want to see their collection of media that they've pulled over the years. No, no, no, Vandal's doing art, for sure. It's art, but he's selling Funko Pops. It's the same. No, no, no, Vandal's great. The people who buy his stuff should be slaughtered. Kitting, kidding, kidding. Let's save people to listen to our show.

Yeah, that's true. No, Vandal does great stuff. What I'm trying to, so I'm sitting there, I'm looking at the Funko Pops behind glass, which I can't believe is a thing, and then, like there's like a security guard. Yeah, who looks like a Funko Pop? Big black eyes.

And his hand is in the trigger guard, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. He's ready to go. He's ready to kill himself. It's the trigger guard. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. He's ready to go. He's ready to kill himself. This is a security guard. He looks up at the ruggles. He blows his own head off. He, these two, which I've just now kind of figured out,

these, there's certain Cholo guys that they have the simple jack haircut, but they put the flat bill on, and so you can see the straight, this fucking dead straight cut of the hair, but then they have the flat bill there, and then they have the thing, they shave through the eyebrow one line. Have you seen this type of young Cholo guy?

Yeah, yeah, I know the eyebrow thing. I'm not sure about the simple one line. Have you seen this type of young, cholo guy? Yeah, yeah, I know the eyebrow thing. I'm not sure about the simple jack haircut. They do straight, they love to do these bangs. I have seen the bowl, I haven't seen it with the hat combo, but I have seen a lot of bowls recently. They walked two dudes, like 19, walked straight to the glass doing this. Rubbing their hands together.

Right here. Right, they're trying to get the butter off their hands. Yeah. They've been yelled at for touching the funko's and make them buttery There's a shit they grab the funko and the paint falls off in this where their thumbs were they were walking like this And I was like but those guys like they had designer jeans. They were they looked good. They like were clearly healthy They worked out. They definitely get pussy. Yeah, but they're like, I'ma get me a Funko Pop. Rubbin' my, but then all the white guys in there,

the most pathetic people I've ever seen in my life. This is the beauty of having the nuance to be like, I suck ass, but also I can get ass too. You can have both actually. You can be a guy who's super into collecting just retarded horse shit that sucks ass, that makes you gay, but then you can walk out of the Funko Pop store

and you don't have to tell a woman that you were at the Funko Pop store. And you can go on dates with ladies and not talk about Funko Pops. It doesn't have to consume your life. But these guys were super pumped walking in there. They were stay were stoked. I mean you're literally doing this One of them was doing this like like they're flies. They're cleaning their hands They put all fours on it and they take a shit on the glass.

And roll it up into a little ball like this. Roll it up into a little ball and then tuck it into like a mandible fold on the back of your neck. Oh man. But that's the thing is that, and it's what I love Oh man. But that's the thing is that, and it's what I love about Hispanic people is they know that if they like something that sucks,

people will call them gay and shitty. They have a culture where you're still allowed to call people gay. Yes. And that's why there's such a great community of people that still works hard. They do actually, I was gonna give them props on their fucking health, but that went out the window

immediately when I thought for like three seconds, because holy shit. Were they fat, these guys? No, no, no, it's just like, you see Hispanic people sometimes, you're like, holy fuck, holy fucking mother of god. Yeah, but there's a lot of in-shape Hispanics, you just see the eighth one in the family.

You see the number eight? Yeah, they have so many. We have to be shaped like the number of sibling we are. I'm number five. I'm a seven. This is my brother for loco. I'm a cinco. No, I'm just saying there's so many more.

I know, but I've been to Chili's and they drink margaritas. They take shots of like, have you had a margarita at Chili's before? No. It's like a thousand calories. El Presidente margarita, you get to keep the little plastic shakers.

Dude, they're so sweet, it's impossible to drink. They pound them, fucking knock them back like honeybees, just all fucking day. And I'm not trying Yeah, Ben what the hell we run a clean show here No, that's the thing I mean it's a saying amongst I've heard this from Hispanic women that these bad women they look like Selena or the bitch who killed them like that's a popular. Yeah. Oh gotcha. Yeah on the streets Yeah, I want to know that yeah, I'm in the streets. Yeah, I want to know that yeah, yeah, I'm in the comment sections sure I want to know that shit. I'm safe indoors

Yeah, you're in the comment sections of a Twitter account with a Roman statue as a profile picture. Yeah, who's tweeting at me? Right? But yeah, okay, so anyway, I didn't buy any Funkos, but then I went to the other Store and I was just having fantasy about being a Superman shirt guy. Yeah guy who collects like novelties I want to click like novelty sodas. Yeah, you like like like a small batch soda guy I'm really you have a seller for your small batch sodas limited edition monster energy drinks You can only buy for like two weeks your fat retarded friends come over You're like I have a I have a crystal Pepsi from 92 Yeah, it's like a it's like a fatter Paul Giamatti and sideways crystal Pepsi, huh, you know that's close to going bad Yeah, how much do you want to be a samurai sword guy? Do those call to you?

Cause those will scream at me if I walk past them, if I'm being honest. Yeah. Almost every culture kind of calls to me except for the like gay community. Yeah. Like everything except like the gay, we went to a gay bar.

Yeah. Me and them were at a gay bar after the stand up show. I was, we were Shanghai'd into that kind of thing. Speaking of samurai swords, yeah, we were Shanghai'd. Shanghai'd noon. But yeah, no, I don't know, we didn't know we were going, we were just walking with everybody, and then John took us to a gay bar and took his shirt off,

because he's a fucking huge queer. And there was like, you know, fucking 90 inch TVs with like cocks with condoms going in mouths and asses. It's graphic gay porn happening. Graphic gay porn on the screen. It's hellish. Yeah, I pulled out my... Everything's red for some reason.

It's like you did the Hellraiser Cube and you got sucked into that gay bar. I pulled out a tire iron and I started bashing all the TVs. It's a sin! There's guys wearing dog masks. Sure. They look like pups.

They'll grope you too. Yeah, they'll rip your fucking dick off. Touching you and shit, which is on me. I went in, I walked in, hey, it's $7 as a cover charge for Hell. Yeah. Do you wanna go to Hell for an hour? Sir, what circle of Hell would you want to go to Howl for an hour? Sir, what circle of Hell would you like to go to?

You're like, gluttony? Like right this way, there's a big dog shitting on people. I heard that that place, somebody told me later that that place has like, sometimes they'll just shut the gate and everyone just starts banging. You gotta fuck your way out. It's like Doom. Yeah, like at some point, like a Smithers guy will just come out and just like lock the gate and be like, they're all banging.

I love the idea that Devon has to pull out like a first person shooter shotgun and just work his way through the gay bar. And they're doing the classic, like it's a guy and he just has two belts. Two belts crisscross like he's in the fucking mummy returns or something. None of them are covering his nipples or balls or dick at all. No, where there should be shotgun shells or just little dildos, like little ass plugs.

Yeah, yeah, little popper bottles that he can take to make his ass loose. They're just, they're cocks, their asses are out. John's taking his shirt off, just, you know. John's gonna get raped at one of those, by the way. That's what he wants. Yeah, he does secretly want that. That's what he wants to do.

Yeah, it's a narcissism. He wants to get raped by gays at a bar. Thank God, you got me out of there, quick. Because you were too drunk to really have your wits about you. I didn't quite know, yeah, they would have been spit roasting me. They saw fresh meat walk in there.

I don't know what was happening. I have little to no memory of it. Yeah, it's pretty brutal. Yeah, I'm trying not to be hateful and shit, but I'm just fucking disgusted when I'm in there. Yeah, no, I mean. It's fucking disgusting. Imagine if you went to your.

Sorry. And I don't feel welcome. I frankly don't feel welcome. I frankly don't feel welcome in this treatment. We should keep going to gay bars and then, like 10 minutes in, we go, this is fucking disgusting. Like you guys are Pacino and Cruz. We're going, where's the fucking pussy? Because I remember we you know we lived at the gay man for a second

And he was like let's go to a gay bar one second for one second I walk I step foot in I go off fuck you signed a lease and you and I'm ripping it up It's red. I saw him I saw him pat a guy's butt and then I went to my you on I lit the you all on fire And I go I'll start over. I don't care. I'll give a shit Like Sunset Boulevard, yeah, just like the Hulk at the end of the episodes But I he was like let's go to a gay bar and I asked him I go no offense like is it Like just a bar is it like soup like I don't want to go to a place that's super gay.

He's like, no, no, it's chill. And then we pay. It's fine if there's people there and it's like a to known gay hangout. And they don't look at me or get within 10 feet of me. That's fine. I don't care. No, but he was like, he was like, it's very chill.

And then we paid like the $10 cover to get in. And we walk in, it's the same thing. It's a pitch black room and there's guys dressed like, literally like village people guys and there's gigantic TVs of Asses going into going on top of cocks and cocks fucking asses and just I see a guy with a big beard Who looks like me just drinking calm out of a penis and I go what I go. This is really gay Yeah, and he was like no no I, no, it's fine, be cool.

And then you see, yeah, you feel like an antelope walking into the middle of the Sahara desert. You see guys from the corner just peering out. Who are jacked. He go to the watering hole in their own drink, you gotta have a big lake of jizz. Like, holy shit. You just try to be like.

And I was like, yeah, I stayed for five minutes. I'm like I'm getting the fuck out of you This makes me very uncomfortable Yeah, not my cup of tea man walking in I remember feeling fine But then I remember looking up and saying the graphic gay porn of the screens been like I don't I don't like that too much I keep trying to have a conversation with people and then I got to I go that's a 14 inch black cock. Holy shit. It would just start shooting calm on the camera. Like if we went to a regular guys meet women place, they would never have like

porn, like graphic porn playing. If I took my gay friend to TGI fries, I'm like, oh, there's a man and a woman having a family together. Yeah. They're not really hated anymore. So they don't get to put it in our face like that. If we went to a trans bar and there were just a bunch of videos of children getting their chococs chopped off,

I get it, you guys are rebelling and you're sick of the hate or whatever, but gays are normal now. You don't get to keep overdoing it. Yeah, but then they make it this weird satanic, like, it's almost like they're like, if the culture's gonna call us evil, we're just gonna own it, and this bar is gonna be like hell themed, and everything's fucking red and dark,

and everything's leather and fucking, it's super violent and aggressive. I don't know why, cause they're trying to recreate the old days. They're trying to make it seem like it's still taboo, and it's like, nobody cares, we're here. You're boring, actually. I'm here right now. I don't give a fuck.

It's not interesting that you fuck shitholes. Like, that's not an identity anymore, okay? I don't know why you're dressed like a Mad Max driver. What is with your goggles? You steampunk gay. Yeah, what are you, spelunking ass? We should go to the gay bar dressed in full steampunk gear. Like the big pop out in the goggles. You steam. Okay, spelunking ass We should go to the gay bar dressed in full steampunk gear

goggles and shit Victoria's I thought this was like the George Miller fan club I have a big chain metal cock with like wires Fucking strapped to my nipples. I'm like what I'm'm trying to fit in. Do these tons of like George R. R. Martin guys there. Yeah. Yeah. Tons of those guys and their cocks are just kind of out. Can you see their ass? That does rule about being a gay guy.

Even those guys are getting ass, you know? Yeah, I don't know a single, there can't be incels within that kind of community. Are there gay incels? Like are there gay guys? They have to be of community. Are there gay incels? They don't have to be really gross or weird. Are there gay guys that are like, not a single fucking guy has ever touched my dick. They're fucking assholes, I'm gonna shoot them up. I think they have a kind of a great early program,

like a no kid left behind sort of thing, where they're like, we'll make sure that every man gets dick. They do, yeah, there's a famous picture of Harvey Milk grabbing a 14 year old child from an abusive home. Yeah, it's where No Kid Left Behind started. He's like, I wanna recruit you! Now, George Bush giving two thumbs up. It was great stuff.

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Yeah, you gotta suck really bad, right? No, but see, that's a whole, I think that's 20% of it. Is there like, there's guys that go to the gay bar and they go, which guy it looks like he is like shit in his ass I'm gonna I'm gonna clean him out Gay guys have standards That's the problem

I think it's just that the man's ass. It feels like any man. Yeah, they just look it's like if I fuck literally any one I kind of have a theory about it. What's your theory? I might have the same theory, but let's hear it. So my theory is, have you ever caught sight of someone with plumber's ass for a second? Where they bent over and you see their ass sticking out of their jeans?

For a quick second, I've been fooled before and I'm like, is that a lady's breasts? Popping out of a shirt, it looks like cleavage for a second and I go why is a Woman why is a woman a faceless headless woman with tits? Like for a quick second my brain thinks it's tits when I see an ass tits coming out of some Levi jeans Fixing your Great big pair of tits. Yeah better hairy. Yeah that are hairy? Under my sink right now. I think in the brain there's something that gets crossed.

And when they see an ass, something in their head just is convinced it's the same as a big pair of jugs. And they just like the titty fuck, but they confuse it with an ass Well, you just said is is less respectful than saying gay people should go to prison and be put down by the state Is to say they're so retarded I've seen an ass before and thought it was its tits Yeah, have you seen picture before where someone does this and they take a picture and then they zoom out and you see it's an arm

Yeah, so you've seen like if you just focus on that, you would think it's tits, but it's an ass. So I'm just saying, the ass is really close to tits. And then that's a bad path. Because once you start confusing ass for tits, you don't know up from down anymore. Then you start wanting cock. You don't even think about pussy anymore. You don't wanting cock. You don't even think about pussy anymore.

You don't court women. You don't wanna settle down and have kids. This is a horrifically bad theory. It really stinks. I think it's actually pretty damn close to the truth. I think Hitler would fire you right now. Even Hitler would correct you. He'd be like, no, it's cause they're retarded.

They're brains. Cholo Hitler. Yeah, Cholo. They're retarded. I brains! They're retarded! They're retarded! They gotta go to the camps fool! I really fucked that one up. Sorry, sorry.

No, it was bad. Jordan Peterson tweeted this week that there's a reason in Little Red Riding Hood that the wolf wears a dress. He's a retarded pill addict dumbass I'm just saying they might have a good point. Yeah, he does dress. What is this point? Well in little red riding hood There's a reason the wolf wears a dress at some point, which I don't remember that because I'm trying to three little pigs

He dresses up like a lady. He's trying to eat little red riding hood. He's trying to dress up like her grandma Oh fuck. I'm retarded. It's three little no three little pigs is the is the Goldilocks and the three bears What you combined for three? The wolf blows their houses down one's made straw one's made of sticks ones made of bricks Yeah, little riding hood as she's going to grandma's house runs into the wolf in the woods as she's going to grandma's house, runs into the wolf in the woods. Wolf's like, I'll beat her there, and he, I think, throws grandma in a pot or something,

and then he dresses up like grandma, waits in her bed, and then little Red Riding Hood shows up and is like, oh, grandma, what long furry ears you have. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because he's trying to convince her to jump into his mouth to eat her.

And so grandma's house is a metaphor for the target restrooms. Sure. And this and a and a tricking a little girl going into a woman's restroom and target. Right. And meeting a predator and going, Mommy, I need to go pee pee real quick. And she goes in there into the target restroom. The mom's waiting outside for God knows why. Right. What reason? Sure. And there is a a trend. There's a wolf. Yeah, frankly There's a wolf training in the stall a trans person going like I this is the only place I can rape kids

Is if I'm tricky in a restroom for some reason? Not at a church or school or any other place School or any other place Like they have to do jackass in order to rape kids that's how they get yeah some big evil Knievel sure yeah I get I mean, you know the word play of that is fun But you know he him and Connie are having like a nitrous kill yourself off together. There goes my light Thanks, buddy, is it on you? Yeah, it's good. No, no He's I don't know man, it's uh I'm jordan. I think jordan peterson. He's just kind of vilified in the culture right now and you know you

I think we're letting the truth slip out the front door a little bit with that guy just because he's addicted to benzos Just because he's a drug addict who's a severe withdrawal problem from benzodiazepine, which is a massive, weirdly unspoken sort of issue in this country that people get on them, they try to for a short while, and then they can't get off of them, and actually when they're on them, they have more depressive, suicidal, bad thoughts

when they're on them. And they spiral actually very quickly, but if they try to goressive, suicidal, bad thoughts when they're on them. And they spiral actually very quickly. But if they try to go off of them, they feel even worse than they did before. So it's like a hellish, like a nine to 10 year cycle of them trying to wean themselves off of something that a doctor gave them sort of flippantly. Right.

So I think just because Jordan Peterson is stuck in some sort of hell loop, I don't think he's completely missing the mark. No, he's a genius guy and he just never heard of doctors prescribing things that ruin your life. No, I get it. No, he made his living kinda telling you how to be a good person and keep your life in order,

then he got put in a coma and rushed for three months. He had a little back pain, so he started taking heroin all the time. I get it, no, no, you have to care about that. No, that's definitely something I knew not to do at 19. No. Just intuitively because I'm not retarded. No, it's fine. I don't even take Advil, but no, we have to care about that. No, that's definitely something I knew not to do at 19, you know? Just intuitively, because I'm not retarded.

No, it's fine. I don't even take Advil, but no, go ahead. No, I've had multiple surgeries and had those exact same pills, and then I wanted them. And I said, well, don't do that, because you'll be addicted to heroin. That's insane. And I was 21 at the time. Yeah.

And he's a big dumb retard. Yeah, I mean, McHale is picking up the torch, though. I had his book back in the day. I was a big fan of his old speeches and everything, his college seminars and stuff. Yeah, Mikaela's a... She's picking up the torch, for sure. He's carrying the torch.

She's carrying the light. She's lighting trans people on fire with it. Casting it into a big bundle of sticks that has a little twink. Did you guys see the clip of him where he was crying? He goes, he goes, I was walking down the street the other day and he does that thing where he starts crying in the interview. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, some rabbis came up to me and they said, they said, hey, rabbi, you're a

rabbi now. He goes, it's a hell of a thing to hear. It's a hell of a thing that they consider me a Rabbi. Give them hell, Netanyahu. Yahoo, yahoo. And then they go, Mr. Peterson, would you like to rape all these children? He goes, I would, thank you.

As long as you're not trans. Yeah, which I mean, thank you. As long as you're not trans. In the dome. Yeah. Which I mean, they have a huge problem with like fuckin', you know, pedophilia in those type of environments. Yeah, I don't know if that's true cause they're killin' a ton of kids. Wow, okay. From what I see.

So they're kinda like wiping the number off the board after they put it down. I mean, I've never seen a pedophile who's like, I wanna murder children. Hmm. I wanna get rid of it. That's usually the next act. That's I get ready. It's usually the next act It's actually this the second thing you rape the kid and they go what step to kill the kid

Yeah, I don't know I mean necrophilia is a Really the kids dead I suppose yeah, no they kill the fuck are we on YouTube I? Saw I listen they kill the kid in the same way you throw away a queen X You just jizzed in in you know what I mean. They're like I have to get this out of my life It's like an alcoholic hiding bottles. Yeah run around This trash day you just yeah kids when they look you run up the street thrown your like neighbors eight houses down Their trash can yeah, it's that I wish I remember this guy's name I was reading about him this week. He was like he's like the most famous

necrophiliac okay, and It's so funny because apparently most necrophiliacs. It's a It's fantasy based only like they would never actuallyiliacs, it's fantasy-based only. They would never actually do anything because they're so repulsed by the idea that they would, with a dead body, it's like. But the idea of doing that turns them on. Yeah, but they would never actually do it themselves.

You have to be, so this guy, hold on, most famous necrophiliacs. This guy kicked ass. It was like from 300 years ago. There's a bunch, I think he was British by the way, which is kind of not, really not, you know, and it didn't surprise me, that's all I'll say. Okay, that it was a guy from England. And shout out to, you know,

we're staying strong for all the people in England over there that you know Yeah, you gotta find their thing you gotta fight are fighting the power I'm trying to find this so this is an agriphilia like 300 years ago. Yeah, I kind of have a problem with that Yeah, it's kind of I mean that's what they're all doing. I mean so long ago dead bodies back then really you're like hey Well, they haven't made flesh lights yet, so Yeah, that guy's like composting basically. And I'm a huge loser. It just went, oh, now it's back.

It's back. But it's echo-y. Oh, this used to happen back in the day a little bit. Yeah, but. Back in the old one. Yeah. Weird echo. Hmm.

Hmm. How am I supposed to talk about, oh. Sounds normal now. Okay. Sounds normal now, okay? Sounds normal now That would be funny for the whole podcast has been echoey we just have no clue yeah So it sounds just like three insane people in a big well. Sorry. I wasn't charging the time No worries. We're still recording. Yeah, we're good. OK. So this old British pal pal from the 1700s. Yeah. So his name was his name is Francois

Bertrand. He sounds very proper. That's a great that's a perfect pedophile, Dave. He was known as the vampire of Montparnasse. OK, he was a sergeant in the French army. I'm sorry. He's French or whatever Well, yeah, then you know yeah, I believe this was the guy okay, so I fucking this guy's baby like I've been crying laughing about this guy all week because uh so back then Crying laughing at the thought of a 300 year old Necrophilia you're on the phone with your tax guy and you laugh, he goes, what's that?

You go, I was thinking of something else. You don't have a François Bertrand by any chance, do you? I think that was a guy, maybe his name was Seymour something. There's a bunch of like fucking losers who did this like 300 years ago and people have written about them. Yeah, I know H.H. Holmes, that dude. I think it was Bertrand. He was called a necrophiles necrophile.

Oh yeah, he's like David Tell. Yeah, exactly. They really respect him. So this guy, dude, he would do the funniest shit because. And a guy who fucks dead bodies go like now Francois that guy could fuck a dead body yeah he was a back of the bus necrophile whoop dude dick

wasn't appreciated in his time but he put numbers on the board he influenced so many generations after him dude people don't realize like how rare of a thing it is to be an actual necrophile. Or a necrophiliac, whatever the fuck it's called. Like actually fuck dead people. Yeah, like actually commit the act. Most people just fantasize about it, that are into it, and they're like, I would never, ever,

in a million years do that. This guy would go around and he dug up unmarked graves. And apparently almost all graves back then were unmarked. Which I didn't know about. You had to be like a rich person to even afford the headstone. Which makes sense I guess for the area this guy was in. Yeah, just like people were poor,

so it would just be like, you know, here's plots of people that died. Like no one's gonna take the time to chisel. That was probably expensive. Like chiselisel someone's fucking It was like when you lost the chess piece. He just draw like that's a night I'm gonna literally get a cavity. It's gonna grow a hole in my brain which used to happen all the time back then Oh, that's very funny. There'd be like guys there they found like this in like the anthropological record

It's very funny cuz you bring guys will sometimes be like think of what cavemen did and one guy, you know 20,000 years ago He ate a bunch of honey one day and then a hole grew into his brain and he bled out of that hole and died And then a big mammoth ate him and shit his bones out. And that's how we found him. I love that guys back then would just turn into earthworms. They would let disease just turn them into grubs and stuff. They would just litter around the ground.

Like biblical, like Old Testament condemnations of behavior. Yeah, they would go back. You're a beast of the field now. They go back to the dust. Yeah, to toil. You're a fucking flower now, bitch. You ate the wrong mushroom and go back to the dust. Yeah to toil your fucking flower now, bitch You ate the wrong mushroom and now you're a weed

You dumbass dumb bitch fuck you fucking old bitch. Fuck you you guy from 80,000 years ago, bitch So the it's what Bertrand sorry sergeant sergeant sergeant sergeant Francois Sorry sergeant sergeant sergeant france wall Lover I love a nice dead asshole and I'm like the French army like what the fuck were they do they have like a civil war over like pedophilia You're not gonna believe they, they kind of did. Did they really? They had, and I've said this so many times, in the 70s and 80s there was like a million man march

for abolishing the age of consent. Which was 15 at the time. Wow. Yeah. Jesus. So there was like, Martin Luther King was like, I need to fuck a two year old. Yeah.

And people were cheering. I had a wet dream. Full of children. Yeah, that little white babies. I had a wet dream. Full of children. Yeah, that little white babies and little brown babies can both get fucked by me. So this guy, he would dig up unmarked graves, right? And at the beginning, apparently, he actually was fooling around with the bodies

Right like the flesh and everything and he became so grossed out by the fact that he was doing this that he quickly was just He would dig up ones that were much older and he would just dig up the bones mm-hmm and You fuck the bone if so if the bones were a woman he would he didn't even touch him anymore He would jack off over the bones and spray loads across the Skeletons you just blow tons of loads on the skeletons and then there's a leave little come tribute Yeah, and I guess the groundskeeper in the morning would walk over and be like fucking shit Just calm dripping down a rib cage. He's such a retarded

They just come dripping down a rib cage. And he's such a retarded. Oh my god. He's such a retarded. He's such a trippy, cummy. He's such a retarded 1700s guy. He's like, these raccoons broke in and dug up these women's bodies and cummed all over him again. Shit.

So the funniest part to me is that it was a total coin toss, because sometimes he would dig up the bones of a man. I was going to say. He would be so mad that he would dig up the bones of a man. I was gonna say he would be so mad that he would take out his saber and he would slice up the bones if it was a dude after he inspected it and saw it was it was the bones of a man. Guys are so funny. I know. Guys rule. He dug up, he spent six hours in private in a clandestine mission to jack off on a skeleton. And got so mad it's like when a guy actually makes out

with a trans person at a bar, it was like, I'll fucking kill you, dude. Well, he's like, I'm not a fucking pervert. I'm not fucking... I have standards. He would slash up the bones, I guess, to prove to whoever found it later that the guy, if he got caught, they were like, he wasn't gay.

The guy came on to me, the skeleton was really aggressive and we had to fight him. It was in a dress, it was dark. I couldn't tell. Can I ask, this might be retarded, but can you tell woman bones from man bones? Apparently it was really hard to tell.

So I like to think sometimes he got it wrong and he did jack off on dude's bones. I like to think sometimes he got it wrong and he did jack off on dudes bones. I like to think there was one. He's like, duh, I am a fag. I am a lege. Yeah, cause I like to think there was at least one time where he was kind of halfway through the jerk and he was like, I kind of know this as a guy.

Yeah, he's looking at the Adam's apple. Is that on the skeleton or is that part of it? He's dug up three guys in a row and he gets the fourth one. It is just huge, like fucking nine inch hands. He's like, no, that's a lady. But he knows. Apparently for a lot of different necrophiliacs, they do it for different reasons.

Like Dahmer was really just a sad guy, and he did it for the company, actually. He didn't want to be alone, so he would like dismember them and then they couldn't abandon him, and he kept them nearby, essentially, for whenever he wanted to use them. I feel like that's something he says for sympathy. Yeah, that's bullshit.

He got them in, they were in vats, like decomposing. Yeah, he put big holes in their head and acid and stuff, and fucked the shit out of them. I mean, this is what some expert I was reading was talking about, and they said Bundy did it for the sheer power of the act. I think it's a pretty common one, yeah. Well, I think Bundy, like, Bundy was more of like a sigma Yeah, he was a sigma necrophile and then like like that's what's cool about Jeffrey's he was like a gay beta

Well, but they he was also like I think he was a necrophile he would like what a gross guy Once the people were dead, he would still kind of do stuff What a piece of shit from what I from what I've gathered. I mean, he was at gene, you know Yeah, again didn't even fuck him He just he made him into like wallets and shit and so they broke into they broke into a gene's house and there was just the whole thing was like there's a chairman out of pussies and shit and Like making stuff I like making stuff Dude I think he had I'm sorry, but I think he had, and I'm sorry,

but I think he actually did have a necklace of pussies that he had made. He sold it to JD Vance for $1 million. Ben, no, no. Oh, sorry. Ben, that's why. Sorry, I didn't mean to get flippical. Ben.

But, yeah, dude, I've been crying, I've been crying, laughing about this guy. That's so funny. Him being so, imagine digging up a grave for six hours and being like, what the fuck? I'm not fucking gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Taking out a sword. And I think that's pretty hard. You have to be like in a, you have to be so mad to just cut up bones with a saber. He was so angry, he put them all in a bag and he tagged them to a place with a big a saber. He'd put them all in a bag and he'd take them to a place with a big mallet and he spent all night doing it. Like he was disposing of a body he killed.

Just cause he fucking, then he has to get it. Then he has to get re-throwed in a lake, he weighs it down just cause he doesn't wanna be called a fag 400 years ago. Which means he's more afraid that someone will call him gay than figure out what he's doing. Like some French guy will find one of the bones and be like, this was it, this was it man.

Suck lip, suck lip, this one's not even named child. What the hell? It's so funny what like people's, it's just interesting what becomes taboo in certain cultures versus other things where a guy is worried about being called gay but is somehow less worried about being known as a Francois. All of France finds out they go Francois,

he was digging up graves, he was coming all over the bones. They go, right, right, right, right. What was they brought? Was he one of them, a man? But the women, they had a... They still had the... The big bones they all have in their titties. What was the problem was he was one of them a man, but the with the women they had a The big bones they all have in their tits Blowing loads on bones, yeah, just spraying loads in the moonlight Yeah, yeah by the light of the moon like he's jacket off and he's like, oh, that's a that's a meteor

He makes a wish The French groundskeeper is watching him from the bushes he's also I am French why I'm also a freak bastard We are freak bastards, that's what they call a French brothel. Yeah. Yeah, they got bones It's not even gross to me It It's just like, I mean it's gross, but like it's just, there's things that are, should be less of a taboo than just like wanting to spray loads on bones. And I will say, it's not.

I will say it's as close to a victimless crime you can get being one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah. Like comparing them to like Dahmer and Ted Honey and shit. So why, so in our culture, the most, the most taboo, the two most taboo things are probably necrophilia

and being a cannibal. Cannibal, yeah. Like eating another human being. Yeah, the army hammer stuff, like he had to completely disappear, yeah. Yeah, but I just don't know why those are the, and then the interesting point that I was reading too is that Christianity is this weird ritualization

of cannibalism because we're taught to fear our own bodies and be aware of the passing of our bodies and we worship the image of a dead man, which is, it's just a fascinating thing thing And then that's one of the it's probably the biggest taboo is like Cutting like putting someone in a big pot like cutting them up and like boiling them and eating them at the dinner table Yeah, the you know the cross that people where it is like if people had like, you know A guy getting brutally murdered and saw just like hanging around their neck It's it's a yeah, you you should a torturous event happened to a man people had a guy getting brutally murdered and saw just hanging around their neck.

A torturous event happened to a man. We wear the torture. Yeah, and we eat his body every Sunday. Like if you wore us, you should wear a severed head. Yeah, and then the Eucharist is you're eating his blood. And then we make fun of all these savage island people that wear skull necklaces. Yeah, it's not that much different.

How's it different from Ed Gein wearing a pussy necklace? Well, he put a cross on his pussy necklace. The difference is that we just imagine them up in coconut trees and stuff. Yeah. There's not a big. They're just like. Yeah, they don out of sync.

Yeah, they're gonna have a do. There's not a big white building they go to, and a guy's like, well, of course, and Leviticus and Sin originally and stuff like that. We can make it seem all cool and shit. Yeah, it's an anglos. Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

Well, that, I don't want to, dude, I don don't want to you know, you want to defend the church real quick No, I'm good. I'm good. I just thought that was an interesting thing. I was reading this week. It's yeah No, it's very interesting I mean, I know like John Wayne Gacy. He was mostly worried. It's not recording No, I'm just I keep I keep not seeing the green for a second, and then I look closer and it's on. Right? Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I see it here.

I know John Wayne Gacy was very concerned about figuring out there were boys that he was having sex with under his home, because he buried all the, he would fuck 12 year old boys. He was afraid that they'd be like, you're a pedophile serial killer. You're a gay pedophile, yeah Yeah, which much worse. Yeah, you know in like 1970, Chicago

That's so weird to me. He's like how people are gonna be pissed when they find out I've killed like, you know 34 boys. Oh Geez, I brought him down to the basement and we watched the bear and I fucking killed him. If they were 34 men, no one would have a fucking problem with it. Duh, pussy. But now I'm the pedophile. I guess, you know what I have a hard time buying? I really have a hard time understanding the idea

that sexuality is a fluid concept. Or I'm sorry, masculinity is a fluid thing. Like the gender is fluid? No, kind of like throughout time, how like what's feminine now with guys is that they wear heels and have makeup and stuff. But on a long enough timeline, that might actually be the masculine thing.

The way how now it's kind of masculine to have your fingernails painted black. That's masculine, like I'm gonna fuck a bunch of women type of thing, I get tons of pussy. I was just reading something, I was watching a YouTube short that came on my phone at 2 a.m. And it's...

Ah, reading. As I call it, reading. I'm at the library, which is on my couch, covered in cum and nacho cheese Doritos from Taco Bell. Yeah, like a hack. Yeah, like a hack. You're like, I'm a loser hack. I'm a loser hack.

Cheeto dust and cum. Not even a French necrophiliac homophobic guy. On Wikipedia. On Wikipedia. But they were saying that in ancient Greece having a small dick was like the most masculine Well, if you had like a micro penis, you were like the cool you were like Steve McQueen Really? like if you had a big dick you were like stupid and you couldn't you were a bitch and you couldn't fuck good cuz you like

Stretched women's pussies out and stuff. This is what I'm saying But this is I can't I don't understand that Like I can't actually wrap my head around that that at one point Well, it's fluid it's well, that's apparently it is but I is the culture just actually telling me what it is to be a man Or is this but isn't there something intuitively within us that understands what the masculine actually is. Like on some deeper, like a collective consciousness sort of thing that like Young and all these people talk about. Like there's got to be something within us that actually is this is the masculine and this is the feminine. But then if you look at history, they keep switching all the time.

Well, I think Young would say that masculine, we all have what, like the masculine and what is it, the anima? We all have like masculine and feminine energy. So men havea, we all have masculine and feminine energy concurrently. So men have a feminine energy and women have a masculine energy, the anima and the animus. I think it's more society does kind of, with almost everything, society does kind of make up what is good and what is bad about most stuff,

and I think it's more that than anything else. Why do I think, walking more that than anything else. Like is that, you know, why do like I think, you know, walking around with a 45 Magnum and driving a big cool car, like why is that masculine? It's because I watched Steve McQueen movies. Yeah, I watched Bullet and I'm like, fuck that guy's so cool and everybody wants to fuck him all the time, like that rules.

But if you were in the old days and you saw a guy with a micro-penis like slaying the dragon, you'd be like, I wanna have a micro-th the time. Like that rules. But if you were in the old days and you saw a guy with a micro penis like slaying the dragon, you'd be like, I wanna have a micro dick. Yeah, exactly. And fuck man, I'm really masculine for that. You'd be watching like HUD, starring Paul Newman from like 1962,

and there'd be a big scene where he stands up and he goes, I have a little baby penis and fuck you. And you go, God, I want a little baby penis. So I have this stupid huge penis, such a pussy faggot bitch. And then you go God. I want a little baby penis soap. I have the stupid huge penis such a pussy bitch And then you go to school and you'd be in the locker room at 12 and then other kids saw that movie and they'd be Like dude check out Ben's huge dick. What a faggot Yeah, and I think that's more so when people say gender is fluid

I think there is a way you can kind of understand that without doing the French opening Olympics ceremony or whatever. I think the best case I've seen for a lot of this stuff is that guy Spangler, what he talked about, the decline of the West. And he just talks about the spring of civilization, the summer, the winter, and the signs that indicate all those things.

Yeah, go for it. And then the other thing is, oh, Devin's gonna come around real quick. Go ahead. Yeah. No worries, Devan's gonna go true car for quick. We're in the Patreon, by the way. I'm not feeling good about the Necrophile stuff.

What's wrong with that? I think it's good. Yeah, it's fine. I think it's fine. It's fine. I think it's fine. I'm just great at it. I love the Spangler stuff where he's talking about

how civilization is this thing that's born and then dies and there's a yeah, there's a zenith of it and then here's what the winter Of civilization looks like all that stuff is brilliant to me and makes a lot of sense And he predicted a lot of stuff and then the other thing that makes sense to me as a as a retard sure and this is a Gay book I need to reread but it is Ions by Carl Young right fucking hell Okay, and the the thing that he's talking about is that things he he actually makes kind of a case for like like the stars and stuff and Like the star what do you mean by the stars and stuff well the science the like so everybody makes a Astrology and all that stuff really gay now sure like they make it about like

Does he like me? It's the 12th and it's whatever like there was Mars in my pussy Mm-hmm, so I get to be a cunt tonight sure or whatever with the girls It's it's changed into that but what it used to be were these you could really tell the future of events and what was to come with the seasons of humanity and stuff and apparently When Christ was coming into the picture and was the cataclysmic cultural thing that which was Christianity which changed was the cataclysmic cultural thing, which was Christianity, which changed everything to present day. That's when the Pisces sign was coming in. And Pisces is the fish, and

that's how Christ is represented, is through the symbol of the fish and the Eucharist and all this. And that Young predicted that around now is when the Aeon is actually ending and there's 12 of them, and that we'd be turning into something else. And that's why when things start shifting, things get really, really, really, really insane and fucked up within the culture as the thing is changing. So this is what, I'm like, I don't know, at this point, maybe it is like in the stars or something.

I don't really know, but that kind of makes sense to me. Like if we're in a big like software code and all the stars are like ones and zeros and things are configuring and shifting and I wouldn't necessarily Diminish that at all I think if I was playing devil's advocate, which is my way of saying the thing I actually want to say and being a bitch about it If I was play devil's advocate

I think a lot of times people do look at stuff and they kind of like retroactively fit shit into that You know where if we like we're like, oh the new aeons coming now like well, you know I think that we're like, oh, the new Aon's coming now, like, well, you know, I think that's a lot of us being like, well, everything's, you know, everything's changing now. And, you know, but you could look at like the 60s into the 70s or, you know, like the 1910s, Tammany Hall shit when like populism actually became popular or the Civil War in 1860.

Like any single one of those could like kind of fit into that model. And I think we kind of, with our pattern seeking brains, look for that and kind of try and place it in there. That's more where I come from, but I'm like, I think yours could be equally valid as well. Yeah, man, I mean, you know, our eyes and our senses are doing the best job that they can of making sense

of what is actually like out here and what's happening. Yeah. It's coming in and then we're making like the best judgment that they can of making sense of what is actually out here and what's happening. It's coming in and then we're making the best judgment we can, I guess. But at the end of the day, maybe it's awesome to fuck guys in the ass, I don't really know. It might all be inversed and we might all be retarded. There has to be a reason they're all doing it. It obviously is for them.

They were hit on the head as children. It might be good to be short. Because they were coddled by their mother and it made them mentally deranged. It might actually be awesome to be short and fat and have a really tiny dick and smell like shit, actually. We might have our value systems all fucked up. Maybe the coolest, hottest lady is actually

someone who's really loud, who sucks ass ass who has no tits and no ass Yeah, and is always making you do stuff and doesn't let you hang out with your friends And that's the girl that everyone goes fuck. How'd you get her? Yeah? She's the Yeah, I I don't think that's ever been a thing just because of the evolutionary doesn't the titties mean milk or something But I don't know yeah, but then the big maybe they thought the fat women were like, you know Could have the babies easier. Well, I think the big hips is how they give they ship babies out Yeah, that's a thing too. Their hips are bigger. They could shit the baby out quicker and easier

I don't know But yeah They thought of the fat woman would be able to live with the baby because she's as fat for the long winters or something. Yeah, she has more milk inside of her because she ate so much. You know what I'm realizing is the one constant

throughout human history is that bitches haven't been shit. That has been the one thing since the dawn of man is that women are completely disposable creatures. They've always been actually. This is the first time. Guy has a daughter by the way. Trying to... Dude, that's been the only constant.

It's been the only constant. Is that bitches ain't shit. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah, what if you get... We've never respected women once. You get to the very bottom of young and he's like, this is, I actually just hate women.

They suck. And are mean to me. Dude, we gave kids rights before we gave women rights. Yeah. Yeah, well. We let black people vote before women. Is that true? Yeah, it is true.

Jesus, by how long, what was the gap? About 80 years. Oh no. No big deal. That's so crazy. Yeah, it was a while. It was a while. That's so funny.

Yeah, I think suffrage was like 1917 or something and I think black people could technically vote after the Civil War. White women have had it worse than black people. Yeah, no, they can't just like fuck our country up with bad decisions. But like, black people weren't born wrong. But women are.

Women are born wrong. Black people don't break once a month. And we have no clue whether what they're saying is like off or not. Black people are the only ones who get their period. Yeah, yeah, right. That's what you're saying, it was like off or not. Black people are the only ones who get their period. Yeah, yeah, right. That's what you're saying, yeah, yeah. Women. If that was true.

If black people every month, like for, well, there's a lot of racist jokes that will come with this. Sure, sure, sure. Devan, I've thought of three and I haven't said them. If once a week, brothers hold. If once a week they like lost their minds and started just making no sense, you know, when their benefits don't come in or whatever,

but like. There we go. No, women are broken creatures, and they're not to be trusted. I think women need reparations. And I love women. But that goes back 40,000 years. Two and a half weeks. Like 40,000 BC.

Two and a half weeks a month, they're great, they're the same as us. There's like a week and a half, you have no clue what's happening. Something's coming out of them, and they're just insane. Well, you know what's happening, but you can't say. You can't say, you can't say. Then they get angry if you say,

you go God forbid I've noticed this trend with you. When you start to smell bad. You start to be stinky pussy, full of fish. And then five days later, you get a big five days later, they go, yeah so you were actually right about the thing you said was happening, it was happening again for the 40th time. Yeah, they have a check engine light

that comes on once a month. Yeah, we love them, they're just a 2009 Toyota Corolla that's breaking down. Yeah, exactly, and you wouldn't fucking let the, you know, you wouldn't transport the president in that car, would you? Well folks, that's been the Patreon episode. I think this could be public, honestly, but I have no taste apparently.

I don't know, the necrophile stuff and everything, I'm not really sure. I don't know anymore. I honestly have no idea. I can't decide. What is what? I've been fucking starving this whole episode and I can't think. I think we talked about necrophilia and like women's cunts. And I think I said something weird

about gay people for a while. We started talking about women's cunts. That's right, yeah. And then transitioned to gay people. Yeah, you opened with them. Yeah. Yeah, but you learn a lot on the show. You learn a lot.

Most of it's wrong, but. But may this show be a compass that guides your life. Due South, straight into hell. You're gonna eat? Well I have a meal replacement bar actually. So I can do that or I could. It's this big. I like, it's a hoagie.

I unwrap a Subway sandwich. I didn't know Quest bars made hoagie flavor, weird. I knew a guy at my job once he would take a big fat guy He would take two cliff bars open them and then punch them together into one cliff bar and then eat it 900 calories christ. Yeah, there was a snack. Anyway, sorry. He's dead now Probably honestly. Yeah, I kind of wanted uh, I want to I want chicken day Okay Chicken day. How do you know what chicken day?

I used to get fucked up Joey and his Koreatown apartment and walked a chicken day and he'd walk in to To the Korean people who do not speak any English. Yeah The bulgogi wings Incredible and if you order delivery, their little Asian dad would show up in like a little, I swear to God, smart car, like a little tiny car. And in Crete town, every time you get wings, they always bring you these like,

just disgusting smelling turnips, just these white pieces of shit sitting in a, Yeah, it's brutal. in a horrific white salt, like water, it just, I would saw them out immediately. Yeah, I immediately, I give them back, and I go, do you do what you do with this? I don't know what is with you.

And he takes mother, he puts them in his ears, and just starts glowing. Well, I think that's been the Patreon. Okay, all right. Thank you folks. God bless everybody for listening. Thank you to everyone who came out to the Virgil. Much love to you all and we'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye. ["The Last Supper"] Out in the west, Texas, town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a smell I love Oz deep for this Mexican lane I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind