lemonparty - 100: Light

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

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Yeah! 100! Yeah, I'm on that light beam. Always in my face, talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of me. Yay, 100th. Happy 100th. 100th episodes. Yay, we are out in Joshua Tree, and it is beautiful, and we are hearing Coyote's howl. Howl.

Cheers, folks. Cheers, guys. I love you both. Love you, buddy. Love you. Hey, here's to 100 more. To 100 years! Us chained together for all time.

Chained! For 100 years, making race jokes for 100 years! Yeah, like Sisyphus. Every fucking week for the rest of our lives, we'll be making cum and dick and Indian and red. For a hundred years we're waking up and we're like, oh they said what about Haitians? All right, I guess we'll talk about that. Whatever, the world is our oyster. We went to celebrate, we went out to Joshua Tree and we took Joey and Clay and John. We

think John is dead in the hot tub over there. Yeah, I think John might have died somewhere. He almost couldn't get his motorcycle. It's so funny up the dirt road to the dirt roads a mile long and John was ripping up it. It looked like the worm traveling in tremors underground. Yeah, and Kevin Bacon's like running from but it's just John Knopf. Yeah. Yeah. No, he was doing like Paul Atreides shit just to get here. We asked him. Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. We asked

him to get beers. He calls Joey and he's like, dude, like like like seven of them fell off the bike. Where's John? Hey, John? Where are you? John we have a mic here. Well, we did hear coyotes early dude. What actually happened? They might have John He's over in the hot tub. John. Are you alive? I Told you he's over there. It's okay. Stay there Hey, we just want to know you're alive. Do you want to come on the podcast? Give him a second. He's trying to Matthew Perry himself.

I'm not kidding. I showed up and he was like half naked. He looked like the Yellow King walking through the desert. He is like holding it like a child's head. It's also funny we all showed up. He's speaking in an English accent. Our family's been there for hundreds of years. Y'all want to rape my sister.

We also showed up to this very beautiful Airbnb in the desert. We didn't realize this until a second ago. We all took huge shits the second we walked through the door. Every single one, Pat. Right now, I'm in a gestation period. So you watch your mouth. I'm cooking one up.

I have the gestation period of a feral hog. I can produce a 35 turds per meal. You're about to shit oil It's like dinosaur bones You know it is true if you feel like oh god Oh my stomach's doing flips and I got I got you know some problems are happening If you just hold it in it turns into a beautiful log. A beautiful hard shit. Hard shit. Yeah.

I take health advice from you. You're my personal Rhonda Patrick. Which is insane considering the amount I drink. But can I say something real quick? You have led me astray so, so badly. Many times. How so? And you gave me unsolicited advice, by the way.

Explain it, man. And I wanna say real quick I weigh 208 pounds. I'm soon to be not medically overweight anymore once I reach 205 according to BMI. I know it's bullshit But it matters to me Yeah, then I'm off house arrest how have I led you astray Benjamin the house of pancakes arrest Devin goes up goes by by the way, one night he was drunk on the couch and he goes, by the way, you should, and he picked up these bottle of vitamins

and he shook them like this. He's like, you need to start taking these. Like 10 of these a day, yeah, you need them. The psyllium husk? Yeah, the psyllium husk, which I've been taking and my stomach has felt kind of fucked up like these past three or four days, even though I'm eating healthy and I was wondering why and then our friend Clay who's cooking

steaks and shrimp inside right now apparently it sheds your stomach lining and it looks like a fucking like a sack around your guts. Look at how you've been shitting sacks out. And my shits have been good but my stomach feels a little different. My shits have been tremendous and I will take the good shits in exchange for feeling like I have stomach cancer all day. Well I will say you good shits in exchange for feeling like I have stomach cancer all day Well, I will say you pop these psyllium husks like they're like they're ticked It is you stop them all day last week because I had a mo I had a moment where I was like am I dying? I was like what is going on? My guts are insane right now. I can't believe clay just told us that before we got a lot

Of water with them. I'm so happy clay told us that I got water and you got it just slowly I'm so happy clay told us that because on the way here, I was like literally Googling, like, where's the pancreas? Where's the stomach? What's going on? What is it? Because we do come home from drinking. And it's a very fun time.

But then you have these assortment of pills on your table. You guys are a bunch of ladies about drinking. It's really sad what you all do. Kidding me? Can we pull on the way home from the bar, can we pull off in a gas, I need to get like some electrolytes and some,

I need some like medicine. I'm a pro, Spider-Man puts on his suit. He doesn't just run around in a hoodie, okay? Batman needs a utility belt, all right? And also we know you want to get gummy worms. Are you dead back in the day? If you guys had to be Spider-Man, you'd be like, I don't know, it's raining. I don't know can I oh no dude

I would literally I would charge people to see me shoot webs like their dick and shit. I would do no good You just jack people off with my web like Japanese businessmen for 500 Catch them in a big web their dream. Yeah, they're treated like mobs Yeah there be like an old woman being like ripped in half by a lizard and she's like, help. And I'm like, not for, I don't get out of bed for less than 800, sweetheart. I'd be a piece of shit.

Spider-Man is kind of just like a guy that like, like Giuliani created. He's like, fix the crime. Get the homeless. He's like, fuck them up. Fuck them up with your cum. He's going into Central Park and wrapping homeless people up like they're bugs. I want you to handle the Central Park vibe with your hand cum. Cum them up real good.

Get that goo all over them. And then you swing, damn it. You swing. Hold them down. I want you to go to Times Square. I want you to make every black person look like it's Ghostbusters. No, I'm very happy Clay explained that psyllium house thing, because I was taking it every day.

I was taking about 12 pills of those. You thought you were done. Every day for a month. And I felt great for a month. And my shits were perfect. No wipe. Unbelievable. Like winning every time.

Like every time I flush, I go winning. Like swish. Unbeliever. Literally like nothing but net shits. I've had that where literally you can't see it because it goes down the pipe and runs away. Can I say I've never had that? Every time it looks like a natural disaster. There's like a seagull in my shit, like it's covered in oil.

But the people for FEMA run in and they grab it and they wipe it off a Don Dishlow. They do Don commercials about Ben's shit. People are digging through my shit and cutting sea turtles out of the soda can rings shit. They're shooting a commercial inside the toilet I'm shitting in. No, it's Deepwater Horizon, it's a national crisis. Obama has to speak about it. Dude, I'll take a shit and I'll call my wife.

It's like 9-11ven like I'm calm like honey. I don't know what's going on. This might be the last Everyone else in the neighborhood calls your wife they go we smell it from here. What is happening? And then I hang up I go let's toilet paper roll You go honey, I love you I might not see you again, but if I do bring home four packages of toilet paper. Yerba Day is one of the hoses they used on black people in the 60s. You get a German Shepherd and a cop to wash your ass out. They sit next to the potato.

Get out of here, darky. This German Shepherd's like barking at my shit. He's like vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv out of 100. The shows that constantly get in the algorithm, they bleep like the word gay, they heavily censor the show, and somehow people still enjoy it, I guess. The whole thing, you can't hear a single word of a lot of these shows. Yeah, it's all bleeps. They bleep, they don't say fuck in the first 15 minutes,

and then they get in the algorithm constantly. And the show is called We Go There. Yeah. It's called Fuck Woke. The show is called like, we go there. Yeah. It's called fuck woke. The show's called like, who gives a beep. And then the whole show's beeped. They don't say fuck. They don't say fuck even in the title.

They go beep, beep woke. Yep. We're so edgy all we hear about is the algorithm apparently. Which, hey man, more props to you if you're doing that and getting in the algo. No, you're a great sociopath and good for you. Who, I am? No, I and getting in the getting in the algo, but uh, you're you're great sociopath and good for you Who I am? No, I'm saying the people getting him out the algo. Oh, yeah I mean, that's what I call anybody who's doing a better job than I am at something

Well, God bless anyone who has a brand and sticks to it Yeah I just like to just you just if you suck ass and you're a huge fucking loser just keep saying your shadow ban till you die I'm a huge which I will suck ass my whole life I'm gonna be 80 years old Shadow man I could have been on talk to I was gonna get booked on Club Random. Anyway, I still think with all these riffs,

regardless, I think we should be in the algorithm, but not to distract, because I want the people at home to know how to take nice shit. As we know, a squatty potty is a great start, I think. Squatty potty's fantastic. I refuse to do the squatty potty thing. It works tremendously, I gotta tell you.

I don't care, and I'm not gonna sit like I'm not gonna sit like a fucking Native American in my bathroom every day. Well, why don't you just smoke a cigarette, pretend you're Chinese? I will, and I'm not gonna sit like a fucking Native American in my bathroom every day Why don't you just smoke a cigarette pretend you're Chinese? I will and I'm doing one right now this these cigarettes are incredible these handmade cigarettes that clay rolled Yeah, we'll hand roll action, and I have some mushrooms in my pocket and tonight might get buck wild You know some shiitake mushrooms Oyster mushrooms Devon's gonna get it. That's Devon's gonna get attacked by coyotes while he's on uh, yeah

It'll be me standing in the distance going I get it I Get it right and then just coyote right at your neck just jumps at my neck Yeah, do you guys think I should take a little bit what take a little bit of what's a Devon's pock? No, I think I think you'll you'll take it and you'll be like I'm gonna go to the bathroom Walk outside with a knife and then slay your No, I think you'll take it, and you'll be like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, walk outside with a knife, and then slay your throat. They're non-habit-forming, Jace. And they also have been proven to help with addiction.

Really? Yeah, I think they give, I think mushrooms, oyster mushrooms. Oyster mushrooms. Sorry, everyone listening, I'm banging the mic against the table. Oyster mushrooms help Sorry everyone listening I'm banging the mic against the table. Oyster mushrooms help with with

Yeah, like like people that have addictions I believe I believe they they help you like rewire the brain sounds like you live in a liberal bubble that promotes speaking to the Devil well I haven't done oyster mushrooms in a year and a half don't act like I'm like always eating these things They're delicious on the barbecue. The machine elves. And they make you see God. Good for your fat bottom as well. No, no, no, those are machine elves.

Those are the, that's the Demiurge, my friend. The elves that go, when I was 22, I was captured by the Russian mafia. I love those elves. Cause they're funny and they take their shirt off. A bunch of Bert elves. What if Bert smokes deity and he goes through the weird realm where everything's...

And then she has to go, kill yourself! Do it now! Little jumping up weird mechanical creatures. Your liver is protruding out of your gut. No one likes you. Do it now! Don't think about it. Your liver looks like a bicep. It looks like an asteroid. Do it. Your liver looks like a bicep. It looks like an asteroid. Do it.

I don't know, people who are always like a curious addiction, I always hear that on Rogan, it's like they're drinking their fifth whiskey of the podcast, you know? Well yeah, but maybe that guy doesn't care about that aspect of it, but you know, like it helps with fucking people with no control, no self control, these bums out there.

There's a lot of bums out there. I'm a problem. I'm not gonna let you. Just lean in or back out. Yeah, yeah. No, none of this lukewarm shit. No, none of this shit. No, this hokey pokey, one step in, one step out.

Yeah. Yeah. You should become Requiem for, one step in, one step out. Yeah. Yeah. You should become Requiem for a Dream, getting your arms cut off. Yes. Ass to ass. Yes. Or don't do a single drug for the rest of your life.

Or nothing. Sorry. Pick a lane. Or fucking have fun. You could probably live till 48. Anyone wants to live longer than that, honestly? Dude, I'm 32. I feel like sometimes enough's enough already.

Dude, I've had. How long does this go? It just keeps going? We just do this forever? We use- is that my dragonfly going in? There's a little moth next to you. Yeah, I don't know what that is. It's a locust.

It's a little guy. It's a biblical locust coming at you. No, it just stabbed a Haitian. Now it's gonna get Ben. I was looking for Clay. Clay went to Portland, and then our buddies, Jake and Thomas, just went to Portland. Everybody I know that keeps going to Portland, it comes back and says it's like World War Z when they go to Jerusalem

Yeah, I did not know fentanyl was legal there you can get all these drugs I I don't know. I mean obviously I'm not informed at all So I don't know what's going on apparently you just walk into a store and be like yeah Let me get a you get a piece tea. Yeah, you got out take get a, you get a piece of tea. Yeah. You got, I'll take a Magnum condom and I'll take Fentanyl. That's a crazy place. They're putting kimchi on tacos out there.

And that's the, these coyotes are crazy. They're crazy. I thought it was literally just like really annoying white women screaming. No, I think Joey wandered off. We didn't notice and he's fighting the coyotes right now. Get out of here, crazy man! Checkmate, asshole!

He's playing chess against coyotes. In the desert, with little rocks. He goes, I've taken your king's pond. Now you're exposed, jackass. Damn, they're really wild. Listen to those fuckers. So what do they catch out here? Because there's nothing.

Mexicans, they're trained. The Mexicans that they brought over the border, they then eat them. They bring the border. They then eat them They bring Joshua tree to eat them in turquoise women those aren't actual coyotes It's a it's like a white lady that drove a bunch of Mexicans in a minivan She got paid and then she howls at the moon and bites their necks But I love the demographic of people in Joshua tree, I don't know if you stopped at the store or anything. I didn't stop at the store, but on the way here,

I saw, I kept getting cut off by a guy in a Saul Goodman car who wearing a helmet? Wearing a full blown motorcycle helmet? Yeah, he makes his cars a bobsled. But he was driving a Saul Goodman car with no bumpers? Devin, that's Joshua. It's his tree. He goes, I'm Joshua.

I suck ass. You two ever heard of him? Because he looks like the tree when he gets out. He goes, oh fuck. He goes, you got a problem, cocksucker? Like a weird skinwalker guy named Joshua. What did he, did he get out of his car? Did he do anything?

No, no, but he kept kind of like, I passed him because he was going slow and then he started passing me and I love to play These games like all right listen up hot rod I'm a little sick of this you feel like the only TV show they've seen out here is Tom and Jerry Like the natives of Joshua tree. Yeah, that's just what they do. They just do cat and mouse bullshit all day That's all they do. Yeah. We had that on the way here. We had the same thing, except it was a guy, similar type of car, but it was a guy who was so Jewish he looked like Watto from Star Wars, the little flying merchant guy from

the prequels. The pod racer guy? The pod racer guy, yeah, who's Armenian Jewish. I don't remember this guy. He just kept, look up Watto. You'll get a kick out of that No, no, no Who's this guy we saw the guy to the right of when we were driving with clay and he kept speeding up to try And pass us and then we just slowed down for no reason remember

No, I don't remember that at all you were doing your impression of a black comic for four hours, so I Was driving with I was driving with Ben and Clay and it was like Mississippi burning. Guilty as charged. It was a little driving Miss Daisy on the way up here. Let me tell you what. Yeah I was driving Miss Daisy she had some real balls on her. Ben and Clay they were kill me they were doing their impression of like just how easy it is to do black comedy. Like, like, like, like Def Jam, like black folks be, but you can catch a white folk, you know, do that, that shit. Yeah, it's high time they were taken down.

They're the ones killing it right now. Look, white people, I realized that white people don't look after black people and they don't look after themselves. That's a weird realization I came to today. Cause Clay, Clay hangs out with exclusively black people now and he's been telling me He's been studying them because he's been playing pickup ball has even the yeah He's mad. He's measuring like they're vertical. Yeah. Yeah, he's got calipers

And he goes vertical of their joke, yeah And he goes to the Nigerian school. It's more aerodynamic so they can get to the rim. It's nice and thin Yeah, I was a little bit of a it's my it's like I'm a bridezilla today cuz it's the hundredth day of L under Episode of LP so I've just kind of been letting it fly more than usual and no one can stop me I could tell I showed up and you were like you were like a sassy little queen sitting in the fucking jacuzzi It is what it is man. Look on my on my wedding night, my wife said Hitler did nothing wrong around a campfire. She was slurring, drinking a bottle of wine and her bridesmaid off.

It was the witching hour. And she was like, Hitler, he did some good things. She was falling over. And I don't even think the convo was leading. I think she just burst into a conversation. She's like, Hitler did nothing wrong. He did nothing wrong. It's fine. And everyone's like, italey did nothing wrong. He did nothing wrong. It's fine.

And everyone's like, it's a big day. I don't know what to say. Hey, it's a birthday. Happy, happy birthday. Meanwhile, this is every night at my house. You know, people process stress in many different ways. She's a new mother. Hey, Clay, can I get that lighter?

Thank you, buddy. Thank you, buddy. Clay, can you show your dick and balls on cam for us, please? Can you come? Can I set off some of those really violent fireworks behind us? Dude, if you show your dick and balls, the editor will just blur it if you want to show it.

The editor will see your dick and balls, though. That microphone's running if you want to say something. If you want to talk about your recent travels. If you want to put your ass up to it and just fart into it. Hey everybody, Jay Sabre here in my beautiful 1000 square foot one bedroom apartment in downtown somewhere in Los Angeles. I wanted to say what's up Lemon Party fans?

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Look at you. Looking very cool. What's the next tattoo? I wanna get some real ignorant shit on my lower back. Like, what are we talking about? I don't know, just like, stuff that's not from anything I know. I don't know.

I don't know. You know? You lose, every tattoo you get is professionally done, yet it looks like you've been in prison your whole life. Yeah, well, a lot of the guys that tattooed me came out and then got their shit together. Yeah. Clay showed us he has an ET tattoo. I have a 19- Clay has a tattoo out and then got their shit together. Yeah, please show to see as an ET tattoo

I have a nice tattoo of everything Yeah, you have a tattoo of like the gremlins, too Yeah, I have the gremlin and drag yeah, you know I'm saving up for the electricity gremlin across my whole back. Yeah Yes, that's a tremendous aren't they great? I haven't smoked a cigarette in years. Let me tell you what, you smoked three of those, you're gonna be in bed for a week. They're great. Well, they're no filter on them too, right?

Yeah. It's all American spirit. You know, I had a friend that used to smoke American spirits in high school. And I was like, come on, what are you smoking for? What do you gotta do this for? And he goes, dude, they're addictive free. And I looked at the box and I go,

it's additive free, you dumb flock. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe one of that guys's on a respirator with no hair now He was Korean so somehow he got powers from it It's like that's been that's how I started smoking The Korean kids would give me more lights at the church really were all they were I went to school the Korean kids were the biggest Kids really yeah, we had the strongest Koreans in the state. Well, yeah. So you had the weightlifter Koreans.

No, they didn't lift weights. They smoked. Look at you. Look at Johnny. Oh my god. John, walk in front of the camera. Show them the yellow king. John, show your dicking balls.

Look at the yellow king right there. Oh my god. Beautiful. John, would you? John, would you? There's a lighter, a long one, at the bottom. Yeah, and there's two of them, actually. Where are my cigarettes, by the way long one at the bottom. Yeah, in the drawer. There's two of them actually. Yeah, yeah.

Where are my cigarettes by the way? I don't know, I didn't take them. Can I step away for a moment? Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah, yeah, of course. Literally do whatever you want. We're doing like a novelty show here tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People are coming and going. Think of them as callers. Callers who can't afford cell phones. Right. Yeah, we got sweet John here. Man, the dogs keep getting closer. I feel like I'm in the gray right now. The dogs, they're coyotes and they're coming to kill you.

They hold a gun to your head and they go, take us to Emma. It's just like John Wick to them. They go, we've been chasing Baba Yaga forever. Thank you for letting us know about the coelium husk though now I know not to Devon told me to take 10 a day That's what it says on the fucking box of course it does so you buy more taking the pills Yeah, you have to take the letters right there. I think I take the pill form I don't put them in like I don't take the powder get the powder John will need that back we have that at her Photoshop balls and John's just going into the distance to light his farts

You see you see like a mushroom cloud like Oppenheimer With everyone tells the locals they're like listen there was a guy out here lighting his farts He maybe like 30 years. It was gas from Venus Yeah, it's like the men and black guys show up Rapid-fire question round ready guys yeah sure all right George Lucas or David Lucas Well well which one is more racist actually that's a hard actually. I don't know who has a bigger goiter George What if what if David we figure out he's the adopted son of George Lucas.

Well, after George Lucas eats moose, his neck looks like David. He shrivels it all over. His goiter. Very good. Real quick question. He actually uses his neck as like a bib and wipes. Yeah, and his goiter says the end of it a lot.

Let's just wait until after we're not being recorded. What's that? I want to light the fucking fireworks. No, not yet. No, not yet. Let's wait. We have a long night ahead of us. We're going to do like tons of that.

We've got to get some recordings. I do also think if we light it, there will start. They will come, right? Who? Isn't there like a burn band? They will come. MIB is gonna come? The Jews.

Oh, God, don't scare me. Jesus. Yeah, that's like boo to you. I also, by the way, I wanna say I don't know what you guys were saying, but I heard you say something about clay and black people when I was over there at the Jacuzzi. Well, Jace already outed us as doing like an impression of a black comic for five hours on the way up here.

Like, black, black, white folk, you gonna catch a black folk, you know, whatever. I'm not gonna do it. Oh, I was just about to start. Go ahead, I mean. You go ahead, yeah, yeah. It's very funny though, cause like that's not a thing really anymore.

Black comics are like Andrew Schultz. Yeah. We're doing like, yeah. You're talking about Flavor 2. It's like. You're right. Talking about Akash. Talking about Akash.

Right. Whatever. They do jokes now. It's awful. It's the worst. No, we were just talking about how you've been playing a ball all day. Ball is life.

Oh, yeah, I hope. But I had to stop. Clay constantly sends me videos of. Well, I play with Filipinos now. It's John. It's John. It's not a kid. Oh, shit.

I have the headphones on, so it's freaking me the fuck out. It's John. He lit a fart on fire. Did he really? No. No, he's not. I mean, I have the headphones on so it's freaking me the fuck out. It's John, it's John. He lit a fart on fire. Did he really? No. No he's not.

I mean why else would he be laughing? That is true. We have no respect for John. That is true. That's what he does. Yeah. Well I started playing ball with Filipino guys because they're not as violent. So black people.

Yeah. Yeah. And they start doing like Muay Thai on you while you play? Yeah. Well they run through your legs and then they yeah jump on your back and the guys are the black the black people of Glendale Armenians call them the n-word Armenians think white guys are the endward Filipino guys are wild

They're intense. They're Mexican Asians. Yeah, they are. They gamble. Everything. I met them at a pool hall the other day and they wanted to gamble on who can get a pool table first. Really? They wanted to put money on who's the first person to get to a pool table.

How much should they put down? Nine dollars. I'm dead serious. That's such a funny bet. A five and four once. That's such a funny bad of five and four ones They also yeah everything they do is just kind of like strange it's like do you remember can that with Mike Myers of course You remember how nothing made sense

Clay was at Disneyland I wasn't with him, but I heard about this story and he goes, that kid, he looks like the fat kid, Matilda that ate all the cake. It's always like, it's always like, he looks like he was in, honey, I shrunk the kids. I want to say that story's been really skewed to make me look like a bad guy. Yeah, no, no, that's okay. I don't mind.

No, no, okay. I told this kid, I was like, hey, have you seen Matilda? He said, no. I said, well, you look just like this kid that ate the cake in the movie, which I get that was a fat kid who was forced to eat cake. Sure. He looked like the fucking kid.

Sure. There's nothing wrong with being accurate. And John paints the story as this kid was shocked. He just didn't know the reference. Right. So the kid's fine. And you pulled it up on YouTube to show him how fat he was. Yeah.

You go, that's you. Yeah. The whole time his mom was trying to bring him back. And I was like demanding, I was like, no, no, give me another minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this kid has too much confidence walking around. I'm working here.

You and John went to Disneyland? Yeah. Yeah, they did. It was like one of their first, like, One of the first times I met John. And then after that, they proceeded to never see each other again for about six to seven years. Did John have a falling out?

Come on, bring the lighter. He was a real bitch because... When you say you guys have a falling out, when you guys say you had a falling out, do you mean John fell down a well? Yeah, John had a falling down on John's end. John tripped and couldn't get up for seven years. Like a drugged turtle.

Have we talked about John's motorbike? Do the people know about John and his motorbike? I think they know from hate watch. They know about the motorcycle. Okay, look, I'm not gonna say I'm like the biggest wild hog guy, but I own a couple motorbikes, and John is such a fucking pussy faggot. Like, his bike, I'm so sick of it.

I can't wait to get John in here to then attack you. He's not gonna defend himself, he knows. John will attack you. No, no, John, John. Like his butt is but I'm so sick of it He's not gonna defend himself he knows I'm gonna attack you no no John John ruin John just found out his motorbike had two wheels Okay, this fucking guy doesn't know anything about fucking motorbikes. I can't stand him he he rode by the way I'm talking to you guys He rode a quarter mile up a dirt road and he came in the door like he was straight out of Mad Max, breathing like he just got in from the dust bowl. And he was like, his gear was still on, like he didn't have time to take it off. He was like, oh, guys, it was rough.

I was like, what do you mean it was rough? It's a dirt fucking road, you asshole. You ride around like your God's gift to earth. Wow, really letting it all out now. And you know what, it's like a 400. I asked him, I was like, can I ride your bike? He goes, no, he goes, it's too big. Well he doesn't, I'll say this, the other night

he was a little, you know, cause you and him, you guys chill on the edge with each other, but I think you guys love each other. But he doesn't believe that you have, you said you had some big bike, and he was like, I bet he doesn't even fucking have that bike, dude. John has a 400, I have a 1050.

That bike would make him look like a huge hermit's big down. John is kind of, he's driving in a mouth. Fucking tell you that. It sounds like John is driving an amalgamation of nuts and bolts that keep kind of falling apart. Yeah, he's barring one of those spaceships from Ratchet and Clank. He's in a fucking video game. He's riding the fucking starter bike at the beginning of the game, the tutorial bike.

Okay, where is he? Bring him over here. Johnny! Johnny, we gotta match brewing. John! Yeah, I can't wait for this. This is gonna come to blows, by the way. John gets so aggro about his bike.

Johnny! That should be the patron as we do a pool fight, you and John. Okay, well John would be devastated. Oh did John walk inside? There's no outside right now By the way clay we're sleeping under that disco ball tonight we could fuck we could fuck in there John we got to make content Huh yeah, he has my lighter. I gotta go find another lighter. Hold on. I want it. Don't light it on the stove though. I Think it's an electric. It's five minutes. It's electric. Yeah gay guy designed the house

John said five minutes the house that fact built very good very good It is two gay guys who own the house and of course it is staying in Joshua tree Then all every vinyl record is the worst Beetle there's a bug out there that just like is beat the shit, but it's like cute. Yeah the children We were saying they all they take ecstasy and they fuck each other in the backseat. Yeah in the desert Yeah, and the coyotes watch and just shake their head They love to eat a hand. They found a gay's fantasy is just like being a homeless like hooker or some shit. It's just being like, I wanna get fucked

in the truck of a BMW. Like what? They fetishize meth heads. Well that guy Ed Buck, the guy who wrote a bunch of checks to Hillary, he was, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer in West Hollywood his whole life. And he's the most normal gay man in Los Angeles. That's right.

No, gay guys are like, I want to fuck the Punisher and have him kill me. They want gay guys to like hold a gun to their head and use them as a human shield for cum. Like as they get out of, like it's the John Wick like Russian bath house and they're getting shot at but with jizz. Oh, there's like a Benelli to their head.

Yeah, and gay guys want somebody to hold a gun to their head and the guy's holding them from the back and they're just, ya, ya, ya. He's going through a gay. Oh there's like a Benelli to their head. Yeah and gay guys want somebody to hold a gun to their head and the guy's holding them from the back and they're just like, yah, yah, yah. He's going through a gay club and there's 400 guys jacking off and trying to come on him and he's like, goosh, goosh, goosh. Now they have like some, they have some horrible decorations. Oh yeah.

They have a disco ball helmet. Dude, fuck gay people, man. Hey all you living party fans, if you're wondering why I'm speaking to you from my beautiful apartment currently, it's because I got very drunk out in the desert and I just didn't do the ads because I was too drunk to do them. So now I want to organically let you know about my bookie. them. So now I want to organically let you know about my bookie. Folks, it's the football season and you don't just watch football this season. You want to cash in on it and with my bookie, it's easier than ever to bet and win. This season, they have amazing promos you won't want

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lock of the century bet on anything, anywhere, anytime, and make your season a winning season. Oh man. Oh boy, this is already a blast. Yeah man. Dude, I thought the psyllium was gonna be the secret. I think the through line through this thing could be about taking craps.

He said we just gotta take it less, but it's still good for you. I'm a crap god, crap god. Walking around and taking crap, crap. I'm a crap god. I'm about to wipe now. Why is he wearing a toilet bowl? Wipe now.

I'm a crap god. Crap god. Yeah, and the really fast. Takes really, like takes tons of shit. The really fast part is just his cheeks flapping really quick. And just go. Oh, the fast part is just his cheeks flapping really quick Oh the fast part is him like yeah, just shitting like a gerbil. Yeah, like a deer shit's like yeah I'll hit those shit Just goes everywhere. I think the problem with and click. Do you want to promote your business or no? No, okay

It's just clay. Let's not reveal anything else about him but Clay I think the thing is John is like dude. It's not a Harley like it's just clay. Let's not reveal anything else about him. Mm-hmm, but Clay I think the thing is John is like dude. It's not a Harley like it's not a sports stir or a roadster What is it a Harley Roadster? I think he compares it to like the lowest level bike That is essentially like the jigsaw tricycle John is the first non-lesbian to buy the bike he owns and they thought he was a lesbian when he bought it. It's built for double wide hips. Man, this is crazy. Johnny! Oh fuck, Joey! Where's John? On John's bike, I've seen someone on John's bike before and they're there. Oh fuck Joey you could on John's bike

I've seen someone on John's bike before and they're dressed like Justin Bieber and they have like tits that they you know Wrap down with gauze. They just said John is locked into the couch What? He's over on the couch John Here's what he does here's what he does. Here's what he fucking does. This is what John always fucking does,

is he wants us to fucking beg him to come over here and be on the fucking show. Cause he's fucking, he's fucking badass, dude. He wants us to go over there and drag him onto the show. God forbid he casually comes on after we plan this whole thing and came on. Well, give him a break. He fucking rode through a sandstorm to get here.

And by that, I mean a dirt road. John rides the motorbike from Aristocats that the butler rides the fucking cats to the river on. Joey, can you tell John to get over here? John is always, you know what my problem is? He's always like conveniently bashful all of a sudden. I know, I know. And meanwhile he's like, dude, then he'll say,

we should commit genocide against a group of people And get shirtless and jumping up. He's been on one the last couple days by the way yesterday We did jock week, and he's been he was he was he was on one. Oh here. He comes Johnny boy John actually love you. I was trying to bait you into coming over here We need to defend yourself against clay because it's about to get real I'm talking shit about you and your fucking motorbike. I told you I was going to I told you I was going because it makes for good Radio your fucking take a seat Johnny We got to get into it

Clay I said a lot of stuff. I said that your bike is for bitches. I said that you don't know how to ride it I've never you're a compulsive liar and I've never seen you on a motorcycle I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Where's my phone? He has been on a motorcycle I got videos of me fucking whacking Let me see you on your bitch bike 300cc game mode I got a VMI going up buck 30 on the fucking 2 freeway

You're running around like Cheddar Bob a month ago with a fucking handgun. And you got arrested like a fucking punk ass bitch. Cheddar Bob tried his dick off. I didn't shoot my dick off. Also, ugh, god damn it. Clay does drive, he has a motorcycle that it feels like it's like a very Korean. Let me see your fucking gay bike. You can leave the Cheddar Bob reference in.

I want this to be unadulterated. Let him talk his shit. Because yes, I did get a gun charge, but I didn't shoo my cock off. The gayest gun charge ever. Oh, having a gun? You got pulled over. It is funny.

What gun was it? You guys are so similar. I think that's why you hate each other. It was a nine millimeter. What nine millimeter? Too close to home. Yeah. I talked shit about his bike.

What nine millimeter was it? He started to shoot with my gun. I'll talk shit about your bike and your gun. God, the audio sounds so good on this. Yeah, I can agree. It's very nice. Yeah, Ben's a real bro. Ben knows what he's doing.

Good job, Ben. Despite all his soy-facing, he knows what he's doing. But you know what? You guys are very similar, because you want to get a, you have that shotgun. We're both narcissists. That you want to strap to your motorcycle. Clay, instead of having like...

Calling my bike a bitch bike is insane. But you also get like, you get like permits for your stuff. Clay doesn't, Clay just shoots his gun off in the air while flying down the two freeways. Yeah, he's impulsive and it's going to lead him down a path of destruction. And he's going to be dead in like three years. Whoa! God, I don't drink and drive, by the way. I do. You did drink and drive today.

I let you say that like you're being defensive. I do it constantly. I fuck you! Shut up! I dare you! Can you give me my vape? I love you. Can you give me my vape? It's on the fucking couch. Joey LaFleur is here ladies and gentlemen. Joey, come say a word. Joey, come say something. Don't distract, let me see your fucking bike. Joey's the king.

Let me see you on your motorcycle. Let me see you on your fucking motorcycle. I want to find a good one because I got plenty of years. Show me a baseline one. Joey's cooler than both of you. What the fuck are you talking about? His motorcycle is a guy delivering him a bang bang. On a motorcycle. It's delivering him a bang bang on a motorcycle.

It's John delivering his bang bang. John, you have a motorcycle. He does. I've seen it. I can attest to this. You've seen it? Yes. He's pulled up to restaurants that I've gone to with him in a motorcycle. I pulled up here on my motorcycle. Where's your fucking bike? This is me. I'm going a buck thirty up the tube.

That does sound pretty cool. I don't see what that is. I don't know what that is. It's you think clay is just showing you YouTube. But he's trying to make my motorcycle seem gay. But I very possibly could be on a fucking like Honda three hunt 350 CC. And that's what I'm saying. I'm going to throw some flack your way. I kind of think Honda's a little gay. I don't have a Honda. Look, okay. Let me see a picture. I'll show you a picture. I'm still looking for We can we can and Ben I want you to work Ben. I want you to orchestrate this Ben I want you to orchestrate this you go by

To to rent two motorbikes. I'll pay you get the lowest CC. They have in the highest CC give him the highest one Give me the lowest one. I will have I will shred your ass He will be begging for Fucking how far is the race Hundred miles You won't know if I showed up because I'll be so fucking far ahead of you Yeah, listen if it was like it was like a bake-off or something I know if I showed up because I'll be so fucking far ahead of you Listen it was like it was like a bake-off or something I don't have a picture of my bike but there's me

You're a fucking liar what are you talking about? You don't have a fucking bike You have a fucking bike what is that? Show me the bike That's just you running really fast Show me the fucking bike He's just not as proud of the bike because he doesn't You're a c cock you have his salmon

Crude oh, and you like fucking freak out because you don't have a fucking salmon Crude I don't know what he's not but this is getting weird. What's a salmon Crude? Oh, it's like raw. I don't know I mean, that's the closest It does yeah, it's significantly faster. What is yours cap at 18? Oh, my bike's so slow, but the call of the fucking starter bike is insane. Come on. It's where you would start if you were transsexual. If you were just transitioning.

All right, now why, you gotta like now give some- Male to female or female to male? You gotta give some leeway here. Like, what are we talking about? That is not a starter bike. It sounds crazy. Okay, look. John drives a Harley.

Harleys are designed to sound very loud, but do very little, okay? I agree, I agree. They're really good for if you and your boyfriends are just going down the boulevard, having a good time, you just had a couple daiquiris, you know? Well, we do that all the time.

Right, right, so you would love it. But I don't believe you have a motorcycle. And it really does. I don't think you actually have one in your possession. I don't know how to prove to you that I have a motorcycle. It does have a motorcycle. I've shown you videos of me riding them around. And you're, show me a picture have one in your possession. I don't know how to prove to you that I have a motorbike. He does have a motorcycle. I've shown you videos of me riding them around. Show me a picture of it in your driveway.

OK, I have a picture of me on it, but that's all I have. Let me see the bike. Yeah, here. Here, here, hold on. I have recent photos of it. How many CCs do you think qualifies as a real motorcycle? Quote unquote, real. It depends on the display.

OK, let me go. I will fuck myself. You can have a Harley that's 1,200 CCs. Mine's 1050, but it's a street motorcycle. It depends on the display. That's the thing is, you can have a Harley that's 1200 cc's. Mine's 1050, but it's a street bike. So 1050 on a street bike is significantly faster than a 1200. I do, I have a 1050. I mean, I've seen him pull up on like a bike that's a-

What is it? I'll show you right now here. I've seen Clay pull up on a fucking bike of some kind. That is not a street bike, bro. That is not a street bike, bro. That is not a street bike. That is a adventure, that is a touring motorcycle. That is not a street bike. Calling that a street bike is nuts.

I'm not saying it's a fucking crotch rocket. You don't own a motorcycle. Well, street bikes are fucking gay though, right? That's the definition of street bikes, is a crotch rocket. You don't own a street bike. A 1100 CC BMW, no, listen, stop. I'm going to challenge you on this. My 1050 still goes up a buck 40. It still goes up a buck 40.

No, I'm going to challenge you on this. 1100 BMW Street bike is going to be a lot faster than a fucking 1100 fucking Triumph Tiger. Those are going to go 180. Mine goes 140. OK, 140. OK, my bike goes 120. No, it doesn't.

It does. It goes 120 if anyone but you was on it. On a slight downhill going and I got that wiggle, but I'm telling you right now, to call a touring bike, a street bike is nuts. And it is not a street bike. You look like a pilgrim fresh off Plymouth Rock when you fucking pulled up, lost and confused. I fucking shredded all the way over here and I kicked ass. And I fucking kicked ass yes I love your adventure bike. I like let you have a triumph tiger. I think I'm great, but the call of the street bike is crazy

I will fucking smoke you go for it. Clay has sent me videos of him on the two freeway flying down and Firing his gun in the air air though and I haven't yet to see I've yet to see you hurt anybody possibly affect the environment. That's all I'm saying. You guys are the same. Can you show them my mugshot? Joey's blasting dancing in the back back this fucking already is like my favorite No, I will I will I will I will agree with you Harley want to actually take my displacement means nothing I'm just saying it's like saying to call your your touring bike a street bike is crazy I got the oyster right here Yeah, it's not a street. It's not a street bike.

It is not a street bike. It is a touring bike. It rides like one. It's bigger, but it rides like one. It's a Triumph Tiger. Jason, remember to edit that. I've always said the Triumph Tiger is what I wanted to start on.

I always wanted a Triumph Tiger. I just want to say this. I would let you ride my bike. I'd let you ride my bike if you let me ride your bike. You can ride my bike. If you let me ride your bike. Baby, you could ride my bike. No, hold on. I said, can I ride your bike, you can ride my bike If you let me ride your bike, baby you can ride my bike

I said can I ride your bike? He goes Very good You were in disbelief Well because, okay I've been riding my whole life, you just got your first bike Okay, let's look at your history here, Clyde I've been riding my whole life Why would I trust you? You have gun charges and I've never seen you on a motorcycle

Why would I let you ride my bike? Okay, but people on gun charges usually know how to ride motorbikes No dude, they don't This is great, it looks like a They make impulsive. It looks like a This looks like a battle ride my bike. This looks like a fight between two guys and do For your bike shatter and break, you know, yeah, I'll let you ride my bike Yeah, you gotta let me ride your bike Well, I don't know my concern is that you would get back on your bike and your bike would be like

Oh, what the fuck like back to the old days And it'd be all upset. You're gonna be sorely disappointed like my bike is very quirky It's the word it is not a fun bike I don't know why you'd want to write you also And I'm sorry for cutting so deep, but you paid nine grand for that bike I paid a thousand you paid four thousand for a Triumph Tiger what year it's an 11 with 800 miles on it Okay, that being said let me look once again. I'm gonna you know where that we were kind of like a judge jury an executioner here And what I also knows a lot of shady people that like, Clay says shit like this to me all the time but today Clay's like dude you could have got I could have got you two grand for your car that doesn't work or like really dry. Clay also is the guy whose dad works for Nintendo in elementary school sometimes.

No, hold on, hold on. That was Barrett by the way. That was Barrett. You and Barrett were two peas in a goddamn pod. We had a three-way, but we are not this, we fucked too. Barrett did try to fuck me one time. Yeah, bear will bear Deviant queer Fucking weirdos I don't fuck I'm not saying this was spite Healthy actually very healthy you guys have had a Let's let's can we talk about the first time you guys met or what? What you we I what I don't think I know this clay when did I meet you?

This is before we were in LA 2013 2014 you met me on acid you were on acid You start couch over there. No Ben Ben other way So I don't remember the day I met. Clay, roll me another one please. Yeah, yeah, I don't remember the day I met. Go ahead. Okay, so then, so I meet Clay and I'm living with John. And Clay and John become friends.

And then they, and then like a couple weeks in to me, a couple weeks into me knowing Clay, Clay like goes to Disneyland with John. They love each other, they're gay for each other, look at them, they could trade tattoos, they could do whatever they want. You do love Clay. You will. I do love Clay.

And I love you too, I love you. But I remember Clay took, Clay was also, Clay has matured in incredible ways as time has gone on. Big time. And they went to Disneyland and John comes back and John's like pretty soured on the experience. What happened at Disneyland? And I don't really know.

I don't really remember, I just remember Clay was a bit of a cock sucker the entire time. And then from now, from then on, Clay was just a bit. What if that meant Clay was literally sucking people's cocks the whole time? You fucked too deep. I now, from then on, Clay was just a bit- What if that meant Clay was literally sucking people's cocks the whole- Yeah, you fucked too big. I'll be honest with you, Clay.

You were just kind of a cock sucker the next year to me. Well, Clay has a bad habit of being around people who can't stop making fat jokes or being mean and you know. Yeah, I remember feeling the same way. What did John say to you? I was being mean to you? No, I just I just remember it being like this odd I don't know if it was me putting on but I remember seeing you and being like it sucks now I was very fat

Like a personality flaw John's like I'm sorry you were at the time. That was the issue. I was like, he's so fat now. I love that that's like a personality flaw. John's like, I'm sorry, you were mean, I was fat. John was mad that I was being- You know, we both have our own sense. John was mad that I was being a bastard. I was mad that he had three funnel cakes. I did not have three funnel cakes. Well, back in the day, you might have actually, John.

No. John, you were the biggest that you ever were back then. I don't think he even had a single funnel cake. I was being funny, but. Oh, my cock is out. Let me put that away. Gosh. Yeah, I don't really know what happened, but I remember-

You were being a dick for like a year. You just became a dick for a year and I didn't like you. No, I- I just stopped liking you. And then I think you mellowed out, and then I was gone for like five years, and I come back and I'm like, okay, Clay, Clay's still around.

And then I'm like, okay, Clay, Clay's still around. And then I'm like, okay. Time to make peace. Everybody, exactly. I apologized to you months ago. I did. I said, I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you. Oh, wow. I said, I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you.

I was around for this. He didn't say anything back to me, which pissed me off. What was this? He didn't say anything back. I said, hey, I was trying to like extend it all, but I was like, hey, Clay, I'm sorry if I was ever a dick to you. I smacked it. Yeah, he smacked me. Clay went like, oh, and then he looked say the back. I was trying to like extend it all but I was like hey Clay I'm sorry if I was ever a dick to you.

I smacked it. Yeah he smacked me. Clay went like oh and then he looked to the side. Yeah he looked to the side. Like a character in Elephant. Like in a Gus Van Zand movie. I was like Clay I'm sorry if I was ever a jerk to you. I was just covering all the bases just in case I pissed you off in some way. Yeah yeah yeah. I got you. And then you didn't say anything back, which pissed me off even further. And then everyone I'm around is like,

oh, he's just a great guy, you gotta hang out with him longer, and I'm like, he hasn't proved it to me yet. He just talks shit about my motorcycle, but calls me gay on podcasts. That's so funny. Okay, I have like a, mine is like a much cheaper version. It's like we went to Disneyland, we both were at a head, and then we both didn't like each other.

I don't remember us having many run-ins, but we would just see each other, and just kind of there was that disdain, and then it was just fine. I don't remember, I really don't remember you apologizing. Not that- I apologized to you at Ida's, at the- At the Ida hour?

No, not the Ida hour. Ida was there. It was at that fucking show. It was the one part new live show. At least she was somewhere. No, I apologized. I went. I know I was there it was at that fucking show. There's a lot more to life She was somewhere. Yeah. No, I apologize. I went to I said hey I'm sorry if anything was going up right now. That was recently very recently And no home, yeah, I don't remember that I'm surprised I didn't say anything Yeah, well I He didn't say anything. He didn't say anything. Oh my god. He made me sad. Oh fuck.

It kind of made me angry. Well, I think it's you guys. This is real, I'm gonna say this. I don't accept your apology only because I don't think it's warranted. I don't think you owe me an apology. That's silly. No, well that's the thing is I was just in case.

Because I'm a very coverall basis guy. Devin knows that about me. I call, Jace, have you ever called from me? Yeah, you've texted me and you're like, I'm sorry about last time, I'm like, that was the best night of my entire life. I don't know what you're talking about. John is a cover all bases guy,

and by that he means ass, mouth, and the nostril. Yeah, vagina back to the house. He'll let you fuck the nosh shaft. I don't remember that, and I'm very sorry. And if you still mean that apology, which you don't need to, I accept very sorry and if you still mean that apology which you don't need to I accept it and I just I just think you're a bit of a thing Clay what do you have to say? Well I think John is still a fag I want that to be clear. Why? Why would you do that? That's annoying! Why would you do that? That pisses people off!

No no no no you guys are being vulnerable for two seconds. Yeah. No, you're misunderstanding. Your motorbike. That is not a fat motorbike. It's all going back to the bike stuff. Yes it is. This is guy shit. It is a fat motorbike, but you don't get to say that. Cause I've never seen you on a fucking bike. Are you saying if John got rid of his bike, you guys would be all cool?

No, no, no, because he's leaning towards cool. He just needs to get the proper bike. That's all. That's a fine motorcycle. Let's go ride. Let's go ride in this little. 100% let's do it. Everything will be solved. 100% let's do it.

No cameras, no Devon. You know, just us in the wind. You'll kill me. It's not true. You gotta Triumph Tiger. You're gonna be. I want no Devon. Yeah.

Everybody else can come. It's like a cop turning his body cam off. It's like, okay. Yeah, no, no, you'll kill, your bike is much nicer than my bike, but my bike has a Colt behind it. That's the thing about my bike. Who is the better gun? Who is much nicer than my bike But my back has a colt behind it. That's the thing about who is the better gun thing your colt He's a shock mine because his guns in a fucking police into you know

It is complicated. It's in a conversation room right now. Next go back a coat. Yeah Yeah cop filed that off and sold it to a Mexican guy. I Really don't remember like they're being hostility, but I a Mexican guy. I really don't remember like there being hostility, but I do remember. Of course you don't remember because you were just being a cox on her for two years. I would go to Devin's house and you would come over and it would be like, ah well,

we just don't like each other right now and I would take off. No, no, dude, you didn't like me. I never lied and I liked you. Yeah, yeah, but look, if you feel a type of way, I would pick up on that, I'm sure of it. Obviously you didn't, Bubba. But up on that. I'm sure of it. Obviously you'd do Bubba. But I would leave.

I remember you would come over and I would take off. I can't wait for the comments, by the way. People would be like, yo, fucking two fucking meth heads like hashed it out. You guys are Joshua Tree. This guy is perfect. That is kind of crazy. You have to own, you're a bit of a dick for like two years, I knew you.

And then after about a year, after about a year I just stopped associating with you. Cause if I would be around you, it would stress me the fuck out. Cause I was like, oh, he's just gonna be a cocksucker. I felt similarly, but I think it was just- I was never mean to you. No, but I think it was just like,

like Devin talked to me one day and he was like, yeah, John feels weird Randy I was like, yeah, I feel that too. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, cuz you're being a cocksucker But the thing is is I just remember me fat. I remember the energy sucking No, I I don't remember that I remember that pretty pretty well. Were you fat? Yeah That's just Beyond that's happenstance. No, but it goes beyond that. Devin saw that.

It went beyond the casual fat jokes. You were just being, I feel like I was the weakest one in the group and you're picking me out and being a dick. Well, Devin's always been the weakest one. No. Oh yeah. No. It's in your head, but yeah, Devin's the weakest one.

You mean physically? No, no. Devin's the strongest personality in the room. Mentally, I will destroy you. Yeah, I can see that. Well, yeah, I mean, look, I want to say sorry. You should say sorry. But I just don't remember any of these...

I think you're a bit of a mess. One of my earliest memories of you is me walking into an open mic you were at, and you're wearing a maroon turtleneck, and and you have a full beard and you're weeping in the corner And I was like I just don't want to associate with that fucking guy I don't know what the fuck was going on. I was actually crying. Yeah, you're crying dude Is it because you saw John? I've never cried at an open mic You were at fucking Echoes Under Sunset crying

Clay it was after the you saw the you said you saw the homeless guy get shot Is that true? Oh My god now you're being hurtful. Yeah Jesus well, I think you almost got a good shot and you're crying. I think I know what the fucking believe Hold on. So you don't think I have a motorbike. So everything's a fucking I don't You don't think I have a motorbike pull up. I'll give you my address How many videos have I shown you of the motorbike? Pull up, I'll give you my address. How many videos have I shown you of the motorbike?

Yeah, the motorbike, you don't believe in the motorbike. By the way, by the way, by the way, I'll tell you right now, the videos he showed me was not a Triumph Tiger. I'll tell you that right now, the videos of you on a motorbike was not a Triumph Tiger. That was not a Triumph Tiger. They're all a Triumph Tiger. I've seen, I've seen, brother man.

Do the people that watch this know what a motorcycle is? I like Bengali Tigers. It's an 11. Myself. Very good. Bringing it back to Calvary. good. You bringing it back to comedy. I've been bringing it back to the game. You just got a motorbike.

Getting a little weird. How can you tell me it's not a Triumph Tiger? I've been in a bike all my life. Okay. Let me see the tank again. I would love if we were trying to do this nice like 100 episode sub. And then nobody ever talks to each other. Slowly one by one we all turn against each other.

Everyone drives off into the night and like hits a tree and dies. Do you have a picture of me on the bike? You turn your bike. Yeah I showed you a picture of me on the bike. dies. Do you have a picture of you on the bike? You turn your bike, the car over and explodes. Yeah, I showed you a picture of me on the bike. You didn't show me a picture of you on the bike. That's a picture of me on the bike. You have a ski mask on! Who the fuck is that? That's a picture of a man with a ski mask on!

It's a balaclava! The fuck are you talking about? It's a balaclava! Yeah, yeah, you're fine. Pull up, pull up at my place next week, next Thursday. Yo, pull up! Pull up, motherfucker! Can I say, I've been to Clay's house and he has motorbikes outside. I don't know anything about motorbikes. Clay has pulled up to Pine and Crane and many a restaurant with me on a motorbike.

Yeah, Clay does have a motorbike. Never seen it. Oh, Larry, now you're looking crazy Mike. You think we're all nuts? Yeah, you're all crazy. It's a figment of our imagination. All of your nuts. Like he pulled up on me in an invisible car. I don't trust a word you say. Okay, all of you are insane.

John, you're a racist podcasting, too. You're the reason we fucking say that. I do want to say. I don't want to be balanced. No, no, hold on, hold on. If I ever hurt you, I am sorry. And that's not where we are now, right? We're far past that. No, no, no, I don't want to say. I don't want to be malice. No, no, hold on, hold on. Okay. If I ever hurt you, I am sorry. Okay.

And that's not where we are now, right? We're far past that. No, no, no, I'm trying, I'm trying, but here's the thing about you, that I, here's the thing about you. Hold on, hold on, let me finish, let me finish, let me finish, let me finish. Okay, you finish first.

I was dating this chick. Okay, here we go. And, and, and, and, no, no, hold on, hold on. Don't be a cocksucker. I was dating this chick and she worked with this guy who is your size, by the way. He's twice my size. And she came home one day and she was like,

yeah, my coworker knows you. And she was like, he... The vape. He's gonna take a hit of the vape and then be like really kind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She was like, my coworker knows you. He's your size by the way. Yeah, yeah. He's always been your size. Sure. And she goes, he told me that you used to bully him in high school. I was like, what? Max? I'm like, he's fucking, he has like 200 pounds on me. He's huge. And she goes, yeah, he said he used to bully him.

And I was in denial about it for a long time. And then I started to remember times when I would just like tease him. I thought it was just like riffing and talking shit. But he remembers vividly that I used to bully him. And even though I was way smaller than him, I would still like emotionally bully his ass. I would roast his ass all the time. And then I was like, oh, fuck. And I forgot it.

And then I had someone who bullied me and then I ran into them and they had forgotten it. And I realized to the person being shit on, they remember it, but the other person doesn't. So I don't remember any of these times. Okay, I'll take that. I'll take that. I'll take that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if I did, I'm sorry. What I'm saying is, I understand that. Yeah. And I understand if you say you're sorry. And I'm like, okay, cool. And even me, I was like, I'm sorry if I was ever mean to you. Yeah, yeah.

Sure. I don't think you were, by the way. I don't think I was either. I was just coming out of my room. Yeah, John's not mean, actually. I'm really not mean. But the thing is, I fucking love you. John's not a mean guy. I feel like you guys are close to being close.

You know what I mean? The thing that is, for the last year, we've all hung out. I've seen you sporadically fucking the last eight months, nine months. And it's like, everybody's like, no, Clay's a fucking great guy. And I'm like, wait.

What are you talking about? Can I say this real quick as I psychologically break this down and I've known you guys for a while It's a it's it's it's a it's a it's a it's a meeting of the minds and it's a clash and John I Could say this John doesn't like that there was a guy that is, you're the big dick swinging guy

that walks into every room. And you always have the stories. And Clay has a lot of stories too. I think the problem is we're too similar. Well I think you guys are. Yeah, that is literally the issue. We're too similar. We've got a different track.

You guys are very similar people. You guys are two Kramer's. Like the show can have two Kramer's. John's banging a lot of people, Clay somehow fucks somebody on the drive here, and no one saw him. Everyone was in the car with Clay, and I guarantee he fucked three people. Yeah, I drove up with him, he showed me a picture afterwards of a chick announcing on a scale.

He goes, did you see that? I fucked her. You go, what? How's that physically possible? Yeah. So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, when fucking, you know, it's a, it's a Cobra in a Manga. That's, okay, hold on. You just said you see that. I never saw that.

Devin says it all the time. Do you see that with us? I don't think you see anything. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. I don't think you see, I don't, I don't think you see, I don't think you see what you do sometimes. What did I say though? What do you mean I, what did I say? No, he said I don't think you see what you do sometimes.

What did I say though? What did I say? No, he said I don't see anything. I think we went down two different tracks. I think you went down a different track, but I went down a track where I'm so, and this is my fault, I'm so self-aware of what I do, how I affect people, and how fucked up I am,

and how fucking egregious I can be sometimes and it kills me in my head. But I feel like it doesn't bother you and there's a sense of me that I think is jealous of you. I can't speak to the jealousy shit but I... 100 episodes. What are we doing? Doing some oyster mushrooms. Well hold on.

Don't be crazy. You're not passing those around are you? How much is left? We're going to have the Opi and Anthony yogurt argument but you're eating the mushrooms on fucking Mike. They're really good. Speak it to that Mike. These criminy mushrooms are delicious.

Can I have one stem and cap? I've accepted the fact that... Can we get a time stamp to blur that by the way? These criminy mushrooms are delicious. Can I have one stem and cap? I've accepted the fact that- Can we get a time stamp to blur that by the way? Yeah, here, yeah. I don't think we have to, it's not legal. Oh, fuck, I don't know. It's just, he's just eating oyster mushrooms.

Right, that's exactly right, yeah. Oh, I dropped one. These are from a nice dinner you were gonna make. Don't eat them all. No, you eat them first, Clay. Well, split the rest. What if you guys both eat them and then the night ends with you guys making passionate love to each other?

I'm gonna throw a fucking shot down the ass. Please, give me the last one. Man, these are like really good. I feel like I'm eating something with pea protein in it. No, they take, no. This is just gonna give me high wheat. No, no, it doesn't even do that. No, no, it doesn't do that.

It's oyster mushrooms, John. It's oyster mushrooms, John. It's not anything else. John, these are... Please say that into the camera. These are shiitake mushrooms. These taste like salted almost. They're great. They're really good.

They came from Whole Foods? They've been in my closet for maybe a year and a half, two years. Yeah, they've grown their own mushrooms. You could keep these at room temperature for a long time. Yeah, you go piss, buddy. Go piss. Yeah, you go piss, buddy. Go piss. Clay, can you roll me another one of those beauties?

Please, I am. It's a celebration. It's a celebration. It's hard to do this. All right, now who does Joey want to get in a fight with? Joey, come over here. Let me get the train back on the tracks here. So folks, if you're just tuning in,

the two gayest guys we know just got in a big fight. Yeah, that's a bit much. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm not gonna claim it was on my... No, it's fine, it's fine. Do that on Hate Watch, but maybe on Lemon Party we don't do that. Keep it a little professional.

Maybe we keep it a little professional. I know you guys, you'll have conversations with each other. No, I know. We have a different show every week. No, soon you're going to be on Hate Watch. No, that's an issue. We have a different show every week. On Hate Watch, you're going to start setting up two different roadcasters.

You're like. Yeah, you'll be in two different rooms. There's like three podcasts going at once. Two different episodes. It'll be like security cam footage. It should be Gutter Oil, Ida Hour, and Hate Watch all at once. You've got two different episodes. It'll be like security cam footage. It should be gutter oil, eye to hour, and hate watch all at once. Three podcasts that you play simultaneously.

Yeah. Oh, hey, John wants to... So, real quick. The two gayest guys we know are having an argument. Let him set it up. Let them finish it. If you're tuning in right now, John Knopf is on the hate watch podcast with Emma Costell. We all love him. He kicks fucking ass. He is something to be envied

Clay is the one of the funniest dudes I've ever met in my life And he's just supremely talented at cooking and everything else John no I just said Kick ass kind of like in general like a like a guy with down sir the works at payless no no so John has a special skill that not that is is is Held by almost no one which he is unable to be anything other than himself, and that's what's beautiful about him He's the most authentic thing you're like a you're like Novel it's beautiful you you can't play the game you can't you can't do the dance to live too weird to die Johnny's a once-in-a-lifetime person. Yeah, no we all we all love you very much. Listen look at me. Yeah, go ahead. I adore you

Yeah Well that's a bit much, that's exaggerative after all that That's it. You adore him? You don't think about him ever. Yeah And if you do it's in a hateful way, but now you adore him. Now I adore him. Look, I don't like that you came here today with a sinus infection. We're doing right now. I knew you did like that. Day one.

Scared me. But I do too, man. Okay. Yeah, we'll spend time and we'll go ride. Look at that. What a lovely knee. Thank you, John. God damn it.

That was beautiful. Thank you, John. Wow, that's great. Yeah, that's great. Love you, Johnny. Are the oyster mushrooms all gone? Wait, what? Yeah, the bag's empty.

John ate them all. There's a couple of crumbs. You did have a lot. I was gonna save one of these for myself, but you could take it. You have some? I have this, well, you didn't get all of it. I wanna say this as John leaves,

I had no idea John felt that way, and that's a bummer to me. I thought we were on the same, Devin, I always thought we were on the same page, as we both felt weird about each other. Clay, it's not a big deal. You just rub some people the wrong way, and I like that about you. You're a disruptor. You're a disruptor, and it's fun. That's why I love you. You know, I think, Clay, I think I had kind of a similar thing. I think it's just like a weight common issue. And I was like a, you know, I'm a very sensitive person. I think

I'm similar to John. Yeah. And, you know, I kind of like got to the point where I was like, I was like, I'm a very sensitive person. I think I'm similar to John. Yeah, and you know I kind of like that's the point where I was like I was like I always felt weird about you cuz I'm like All right, I'm about to get called like fat basically like yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I have these two really big friends Yeah, and they're so they're like Like their lifetime fat people sure like they're not like Ben Own a house They're not like Ben where like Ben goes in and out of the house. Yeah They're 20 years into a mortgage they don't they just they're all they'll always be fat right they've always been fat and I

Always thought you were one of those guys and by the way those guys they don't register the fat jokes because it's like a part Of them they're like, yeah, I'm fat and this is right so you being someone who kind of like skirts the line, I thought that it was like fine to just rib. Right, and here's the thing, I had to get to the point where I rib. Why do you say rib? Because I was busy eating them. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Not like a fucking xenomorph.

It had to get to the point where I was like, I had to admit to myself, I'm like, oh I had a problem with that, but I never told Clay I had a problem with that. You know what I mean? I run into that a lot where I've been torturing someone for years. And then finally, my best friend, I drove him

to the point of fucking my girlfriend. Really? Yeah. Because I tortured him for so long, he decided that he had to fuck my girlfriend to get back at me. And then he was like, hey, by the way, I fucked your girlfriend. I was like, why'd you do that? And he was like, because you roasted me for so many years.

I thought that was our dynamic. I thought that's what our friendship was. And he was like, no, it hurt me all the time. And I was like, oh, fuck, I wish you had told me because I liked my girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, and it was just- I'm glad you have that perspective now, because I didn't want to say this but John fucked your mom Devin you stole my thing. I also fucked your mom

but no it got to the point where I was like I never brought it up just because I was Scared of like what you would say or like I almost thought like you would like run to everybody and be like Did you fucking chase is afraid of being fat? Yeah of what you would say. I almost thought you would run to everybody and be like, did Jace fucking hate the French? Jace is afraid of being fat. Yeah, exactly. Afraid of being, he wakes up, he looks in the mirror, he goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Yeah.

All right, you'll be back there again, faggot. But you know what? I don't know if we. Back there. I don't know if we had. I've never been there, buster. I don't know if we had a conversation about it, but somehow we found an understanding. Well, no, I think that was the thing.

And I've talked to Devin about this. I was like, me and Clay are really good now. And I think it was also a thing where I got to a point where if you threw one of those jokes, I had to get to a point where I realized, oh, it's fine. It doesn't mean Clay doesn't like me or doesn't fuck with me. It's't love language Exactly what I just wasn't used to it So it was like you would you would throw lots of those jokes for sure But also when you would I would just go like yeah, whatever like I like clay clay likes me

Yeah, and like I genuinely get excited to see you now Yeah, you know it's like that's a very as other Devon like I'm like I'm like so glad that like me and Kate Me and clay are like cool now and that like you just seem to Be doing so well. Yeah, thank you man. I appreciate that. Yeah, I feel the same way I I Ben told me about it. Ben was like you're having a negative impact on on on Jay's Yeah, Jay's clay will come over a big cool it like yeah, he's sensitive like be nice to him And I didn't realize I I just I cuz you know what for me

I have so many things that you could fucking get into the thing is you're just fat I am everything but fat well Jason's gay too. Oh, well. Yeah, I guess you're gay But I have like there's a million fucking things like he's fat because essentially a hobo Like I have so many things that I'm so insecure about that I could work on so for me It was like every time I called you fat or made a fat joke I was waiting for you to be like well you're a bum yeah, you're this and that I know and I was your next drug addict Yeah, okay, but it's a fine It's a fine line though because I've seen I've seen you back in the day get very offended and sad by stuff like that.

Stuff, yeah. Yeah. I used to be real. So it's like, as people are growing in their 20s, it's very difficult to... Yeah, I think there was also a thing, we were all friends when we were in our... Figure out what's okay.

We were all in our mid-20s. Most of us were drunk all the time, and some weird shit happened, and we kind of like... Me and Ben used to get into it. Yeah, I think every single person in this group has gotten into it. What did we fight about? Well, you were mad that I made you drive drunk that one night

with a pig. We fucking shot a pig in the head and put it in the trunk of my Prius. And I fucking, I was driving drunk through Santa Barbara down the wrong way. You guys shot John on the head? I love John. We drove up the Lomb Bulk and we shot a pig

and we skinned him and cut him up and put him in a big cooler. And then we pulled up the long poke and we we shot a pig and we we skinned him and get cut him up and put Him in a big cooler. Yeah, and then we pulled up at a bar real quick Like I'm like a guys that gave me a bunch of drugs. Clay was like all DD. It's it's fine I was like cool. I'm gonna go to the bar Then I'm like pound three beers and I went in the back and John was taking shots with like some milk Clay was in the back taking shots with some fucking milk Clay was in the back taking shots with some fucking milk. What's Joey doing? He's got like 30 beers in his hand.

For anybody just listening, Joey walked by with 30 beers in his hand. Just having some cans. So Clay's slamming shots with the milk. Yeah, go in the back. No, no, some old gay guy. He's smoking a fucking blunt with an old gay guy. I think there's a milk in the corner that looks like the witch from Left 4 Dead That's a good reference Wow, I don't know you played that I love that game. It's a classic game 2008 Left 4 Dead

and John keeps shrieking in the back like a fucking rooster. I know You know in Germany they say kikara key instead of cock-a-doodle-doo. I know they it's been chasing me off so much They say kika riki instead of cock-a-doodle-doo. I know well they it's been chasing me off so much That's a that's what they say roosters sound like rest of development That is arrested development. They do say kika riki. My sister-in-law is German. She told us that so I didn't even bronze daughter Very German very very German. Oh, yeah to the point where you're like, what are you? You planning something? Get away from that train.

Everything you say sounds like it has a bunch of layers behind it. But Kalei, so yeah, I don't know if I got mad at you. I think my wife was pretty mad at me because I drove home blind drunk three hours from Lompoc or from Santa Barbara all the way back home And you as soon as you got in the car, I was like dude. I don't know if I could do this This is fucked like we're gonna go to prison. But like we were also in California. You're afraid to sleep in your car Yeah, you sleep in your car. Do I they just search cars for people that are that are doing the right thing?

And they have to turn the car off and throw the keys in a lane. The keys can't be in the ignition. You have to swallow the keys. But there's some laws that they still, I mean they do whatever they want, you know? The keys are within reach or whatever. They can be like, wow, it looks like the seat works. The recliner on the seat is still working. By the way, you think if he catches a sleeping drunk in the car and then he opens up the trunk,

there's a severed pig's head in the back, like we're not going to jail. Yeah, that's an issue. They go, is's a severed pig's head in the back, like we're not going to jail. Yeah, it's an issue. They go, is this a metaphor for me? You one of those ACAB fags. You the joker? Huh? But anyway, as soon as we get in the car to drive back like two and a half hours,

Clay was sound asleep, not a worry in the fucking world I was so I couldn't believe it and I was driving fucking cross-eyed all the way back 10 into Swerving down the freeway like insane and trying not to fall asleep Well cuz we smell like dead pig we got to the farm we got to the farm at 4 in the morning to skin the pig We got there killed it skinned it and they gave you the option to kill yourself, right? Yeah, I like clay shoot. Let us kill it. I shot in the head and then with the gun Yeah with a 22 rifle. I still feel really bad about it I thought it would be this thing that connects me with the meat I eat and I'd always be grateful

They just made me feel really bad so so there was this moment that really pissed me off because I shot the pig in the head but it was still kicking a Bunch and the way to get it to stop kicking is you cut its throat and bleed it out and the less blood, the less it could kick, right? And it's still in that like weird period where it's like shaking a bunch. And I told Ben to grab the hind legs,

to hold it still so I could slit its throat after I shot in the head. But the farmer, remember, he told you don't touch touch it He didn't know what the fuck was going on Yeah And I and I got pissed at him I was like shut the fuck up and I told Ben to grab the back legs and then we slit his throat and then we Hung it in the tree. We hooked it up by like a And then they handed Clay a big Bowie knife he just went to town he carved that bitch up

We skin that's what I call white barber shop, by the way But we skinned it and they guys what I call white barbershop, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. But we skinned it. You guys all put on your white Supreme hoods. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Soooey. Soooey.

But, uh. Oh, dude. And what's so funny is this farmer wanted to be friends with me and Clay so bad. He was like, hey, hamburgers this week? So, OK, by the way. Oh, my god. Dude, there were three farmers. Two of them were older dudes, and one of them

was like the younger, like, I don't know. You call him like a cowpoke, ranch hand type of dude. And he, dude, this guy, this poor motherfucker. Clay originally met him at the farmers market and was asking around for a pig, because me and Clay wanted to do this thing where we bought a pig for like $ bucks. We, and then we dig a hole in the ground in someone's backyard in LA and do a classic like Hawaiian luau.

What's it called technically Clay? In Hawaii how they cook it under the ground? Luau. It's just called a luau. Anyway, we, by the way, long story short, we fucked that hole all up. We invited 300 people over in the back of an open mic. And we were-

More like long story shit. Cause this story sucks, bub. Don't get it. Dong, dong story. You just, you want a big fight to happen. I'm just, I'm seeing, I'm seeing red. I'm the only guy that does mushrooms and I get violent.

You fucked me over. Everyone's out to get me. Devin, you did the oyster mushrooms. Yeah, oyster mushrooms. But they have effects. That's right. My apologies, Ben. Keep going.

Let's get back to Jock Week all at once. So here we go. Ooh, little gunty. We do Jock Week for free in one episode, folks. Buckle up. Come on, that's kind of good, Devin. I kind of got you there a little bit. I couldn't hear you, because of your lack of kind of good, David. I kinda got you there a little bit.

I couldn't hear you, cause of your lack of projection. Well, oh, I have the microphone, I guess I have the headphones in, so. What'd you say? Is it actually hard to hear me from across? A little bit. Oh, okay, okay. You probably prefer it that way.

Anyway. No, I love you. I know, I know we're just doing a bit. I'm gonna lead you guys to it. We're doing a bit on the comedy show. So anyway, Clay hold on real quick though This this is the one of the fucking funniest things I've I've ever witnessed so this farmer Kept trying to get me and clay to come back to hang out with him because he didn't have any friends He was like a 30 year old dude. Yeah long like surfer hair

overalls the whole fucking thing. Born native up there. And one of the houses on the property. Born native. Whatever. One of the natives on the, he's a fucking native, and there was a house on the property that he did live in with his girlfriend.

They started dating. And there were big glass windows in the front of it like floor to ceiling and He invited us out there were like smoking. He wanted to smoke weed with us really bad Yeah, and then we're walking we're running through these filled smoking weed. He points to the house. He goes. Yeah, I used to Used to live there with my girl, but she kicked me out and she started dating another one of the farmers But she kicked me out and she started dating another one of the farmers In a trailer so he slept in a trailer that and he looked at his house where his wife was is Facing his I think it was a fiance that broke it off and she started fucking the other farmer on it in the house Yeah, and we go oh my god

So when you're like tilling the land you look in and he's like watching TV with her and he's like yeah every day I just try not to look over there because I just try to get really high And he was he dated her for like five years and they were engaged And he was one day killed by a black mamba in a suitcase I love Kill Bill We we went and got well we've been spilling the beans a lot we went and got hamburgers with him And we went god damn it. You're good We went and got hamburgers with him. Very good. Very good. And we went and got hamburgers with him.

We went and got hamburgers with him. And the waitress was like very sweet. And he goes, I think that'll be my next wife. That woman is up dead in the week. Dude, I forgot about that. It was like the saddest looking woman we've ever seen. She was a stripper. We were in Longpoke.

She was serving burgers. She was like Dilbert with a wig. It was so sad. She had like the tie curling up. She had no eyes, just glasses that were white. You know what, I'm gonna marry her dog, Dogbert. Oh, what is it? So then he was like,

by the way, she's not home right now. Do you guys wanna go inside? And we were like, oh my God, this is so dark. So then he like found one of the spare keys and like a stone frog or something and got us into the house that his ex-fiance kicked him out of and we went in and he like lowered the blinds and it was like, we're gonna fucking smoke in here.

And then he rolled us like a big blunt and we all smoked weed with this dude in a house, his fiance kicked him out of fucking the other farmer on the land By the way She has an option of like four dudes on the property and she broke it off with this guy to fuck the dude who lives Across the our guy was the hottest one It's so funny she just getting railed in a pumpkin patch and he's like

Pretending not to see this is worst nightmare. The farmer, the main farmer shows us a bucket full of arrowhead. He goes, we've been picking this arrowhead out of the dirt for the past couple years. A whole bucket full of them. He goes, do not tell anyone. He goes, if the government finds out we have arrowhead,

they're taking our land and we can't have anymore pigs. And he goes, and he told us when we left with the pig, he goes, don't tell anyone about the arrowhead. It's like, why did you show us? This huge bucket full of arrowheads. He's like, please don't take away this land where my wife gets fucked in front of me. I need it so badly.

God, that's brutal. That's all he has. Jesus. Yeah, him working like 15 hour days while his wife is getting railed. Dude, he did the most amount of work there. And like I said, floor to ceiling windows, like blinds constantly up.

And they're just sitting in there relaxing. The main farmer came up to us. On like a couch he bought. He was like, how much did you guys buy the pig for? We were like $3.50. It was like this huge pig. He goes, and then we found out later, the guy that sold us the pig fucked up

and sold us the pig for way less than it was worth. Dude, it's because he wanted us to be his friends. Yeah and he had to pay for what we didn't pay. I think it should have been like double the farmers were pissed they were like they loaded the 22 they go you paid how much and then they turned their hold hold on boys hold on and they went talk to him like over and like behind a bar barbwarf. They go as punishment we're all gonna fuck your wife today. And by the way, when I went to go shoot the pig, do you remember this? I had the gun at his head. That's a sad moment.

The farmer comes up and goes, can I please kill the pig? Dude, he was begging Clay. He begged me to kill the pig. And I was like, it's our pig. Clay goes, didn't I just start to buy it? Because we handed him the cash, he goes, yeah, technically. He was like, please let me kill the pig. He just had to blow steam anyway But we didn't realize in the beginning that it was like what was going on

We found out later after we killed the pig we hung out at the farm the whole day But he was like I need to kill this pig. I have to kill this pig. He had to Yeah, it's really, really sad, dude. Oh, he definitely, he definitely fucks one of those pigs, for sure. I wonder what happened to him, because that dude may have had the worst life I'd ever seen.

I couldn't believe it. And he was like, when we were smoking out his living room that he got, like, he, because his, by the way, the house was like in his name, but he's just like a pussy. Yeah. So he's just like letting her live in it. I guess hoping that maybe she eventually like

comes back to him or something. Yeah. As he's smoking out the living room, he's like, fuck them. He's like, look at us. We're taking it back. Just plumes of weed smoke rising to this giant ceiling. I mean, the guy's killing pigs. Like like he's selling pigs online like their couches.

Ben I'm like. Like it's his Etsy shop. Ben you were in like a Steinbeck like novel for a second. Like it's like Mice and Men 2. Yeah. That's insane. It was uh I feel so fucking dude I have so many, like big, big regrets, and that's one of them, shooting the fucking pig through the head and it falling. There's a lot of things I can say right now

that I'm not gonna say. What? There's just a lot of metaphors here. For some other things in life. Oh sure, sure, sure. We'll wait for the oyster mushrooms to kick in before we get to that. Devin I think your guard's down a little too much.

But it's the hundredth episode. It's the hundredth episode baby. It's a celebration. We brought everyone out here, we made them get into it. Yes, that was awesome. We're doing CERN in the desert. What was awesome? Just Clay and John and everything so far. And I can go for another five hours. Yeah, I'm feeling good.

At 3 and 1 half, I'll have to put another card in there. Clay, what are you showing them? They can't hear you. You're showing them the pig? Nice. Are you actually showing them a pig, or are you showing them a picture of my wife or something? It's definitely your ass.

What were you showing? Was it actually the pig? Yeah, it was the pig. Was it actually? You motherfucker, are you going to get us kicked off of YouTube? What was on your phone? It's just the dead pig. Oh, that's so funny.

I wonder if we can show that. Actually, gore is allowed on YouTube, weirdly. I know, and you can't show, you know, you can't curse. But, yeah, I feel so bad about that pig and then it kind of went to complete waste because we cooked it and then after eight hours we finally dug it up and it was ice cold. People were gathered around with forks and knives.

People told us the night after people were like, yeah, I was on the bus back to East Hollywood and I started feeling sick. Like we gave people like trick analysis or tricks analysis or whatever. Because we got the meat lukewarm and then we fed it to everybody. Yeah, but it was like jiggly. It was warm but it was still raw pig. It looked like, you know what it kind of looked like?

We were so hungry because it was like I think midnight when we thought we pulled it out. Yeah, we were starving. Wait, is it finally smoked? We're like, yeah, we'll eat a pig like it's a zombie. And we were just dipping it in barbecue sauce. And I remember I woke up the next day and I just had horrific diarrhea the entire day. Yeah, yeah, no, we could have got like pre-ons, like the worms that go in your brain

and kill you 20 years later. It's so funny, because we dug it up out of the earth and it looked like ballistic jelly. Like something that like Mythbusters would fire a rifle through. And then everyone just like ate right, it like flanned. It was like not good. But hey man, what are you gonna do?

I think about that farmer all the time too. I'm like what? Because you know everybody fantasizes about like moving out to the country and having this beautiful, you know they imagine themselves like riding the bike in a Butch Cassidy in the Sunnets kid and the Apple song and all this shit And they forget the country is the country do cuz there's country people there like

Sure, like there's 25% of the people out there in the city that your wife Might leave you for yeah But in the country that that 25% still applies and she's gonna fuck one out of the three farmers You know and the five square miles and you're gonna go That's your life and then you go to the diner for the next years and they're like, sorry heard Roy's fucking your wife Cuz it's there's a hundred people What's happening? You don't even say you don't even identify them by person you go if I make a left That's the guy that fucked my wife. I make a riot

That's the guy that's dating my daughter if you get to the guy who molested me when I was a kid, you've gone too far. Turn around. Imagine the day that directions become like triggering. You're like, I don't like going left. Right. Yeah, when you get to like these numbered acres, you're like, the Bethany. Oh, damn it. You cucked me for a horse that farmer was so depressed too he would he used to look out toward the

the ocean and Lompoc and he would go he goes you know they actually they come up here to shoot shark week and he'd like look out the water as it to say like maybe someday maybe someday one of them will take me. Just staring out looking for a shark. Someone yells shark, he runs in. What is Longpug? Is this a part of California? Oh yeah. Damn, it sounds like some sort of prison outside of Boston that they send pedophiles to. Oh, am I saying it wrong? It's L-O-M-P-O-C.

Yeah, sounds right. What area is it around? Like on the way to San Luis Obispopo there. It's like east of Ventura. No, you just get you gotta keep going like on the way to San Luis Obispo like it's like past Santa Barbara and shit. Okay, I gotta push so bad. More like San Luis Abismal because I'll tell you that place stinks. It's actually quite nice, but uh... I love it there actually. Oprah talked, didn't know, is, Jace, just real quick, Is that the place that Oprah talked about then this the rent the rent raised and everyone went? Anyway, I'll handle it from here

Devin just grab the wheel. I'm pretty sure San Luis Obispo was uh, I think Oprah said like I have this I got this place up in San Luis Obispo. It's an unbelievable community. And then it got destroyed after she promoted it. Like, people hate living there now because everyone moved there. All these rich people moved to San Luis Obispo. And this could be completely wrong. But I'm pretty sure I'm right. I know, I've never, I've heard,

look, I've watched every episode of Oprah. I don't remember her ever saying that. But maybe you're right. It used to be like a sleepy, you know, up north town. Yes, I love a sleepy town. I love a sleepy town, because you can get away with a lot. Oh, you can do, your hands can go wherever they want. Because they're all snoozing.

Yeah, it's a real sleepy town, you go, good, because I'm wide awake You turn into like Dracula You talking about killing people in slow we were just making a joke about like you love when it's a sleepy town because you can Rape everybody. Oh, yeah everybody. Oh yeah. No, they basically that was the premise. It's like when you're good. I'm wide away. Yeah, I'm wide. I'm like, I never sleep. Yeah. You're Freddie Krueger. Good luck. Good luck. You make it three days at the most. No, I mean, it's like if you rape three women once you give you five hundred dollars and like five acres Yeah, if you give you one acre for every woman you you don't have consent Welcome to welcome to nut barrel, Texas. If you rape five women you win the prize You get your name on the wall of rape yeah, that's like the the blazing rewards at Buffalo Wild Wings if you assault a waitress in the In the bathroom your meals free

waitress in the bathroom, your meal's free. If you come assault one of our employees, you get a free 16 ounce Stella, what is it called? I haven't drank in so long, I forget. If you rape a waitress, we give you some free Spanish fly so you can continue your methods. Why let the party stop? Oh shit, I panicked real quick. No, no, no.

You said I haven't been drinking that, have I? I don't think so. You said I haven't drank in so long and then I looked and you had a Miller Light. Miller Light. I've been drinking. No, that must be John's. No, no, no, no, my Corona's down here. My non-alcoholics.

Right. Fuck, I hope I didn't drink from that. It's a wild hundredth episode. Wild hundredth, buddy. Should we get Joey on this bitch? We should try. See if he wants to come on. He seems a little antisocial,

I'm just gonna leave him alone. He's over there listening to the black keys on his phone, so I don't know what he's going through. He's watching Toyota commercials. Joe's going black teenager mode on the subway. Dude, I went over there to grab John's vape. There's a fireplace 100 yards away from here, I went over to get his vape, and he was like,

hey buddy, and I looked at him, I'm like, thick freakness? He was listening to thick freakness in the dark. I'm like, all right buddy, I don't know what you're doing. He goes, I'm having a blast. They were at one point good. And every time his phone is on his home screen, so he's exiting out of something he doesn't want me to see. So I don't know what's, I don't know.

I see that you're looking at hardcore pornography over there. Maybe. Maybe. He's just watching Alexis Texas videos in the desert. There's something about the desert that brings it out of oh, yeah, oh I think it's the fact there's nothing but just the people around you so you got to like You can't look at a building. You just got to like go in I mean, there's no damn right we can't watch you know

It is about comedians. We hate I know I feel like I feel lost there's no fucking TV here It's it's it's so we have to tear each other apart, but I got it on my phone I'll be blasting it all night you downloaded it to have it in case there's no Wi-Fi I have a direct connect to elephant graveyard He sends me them before he releases them You're like super patreon. Yeah, yeah Well, I want to say that I love both of you guys. This is I'm glad we pulled this off. Yeah Yeah, I'm very I'm actually very glad we did this

I was before server cry I was looking at the rise and I was like I hope everybody gets in a big fight tonight And they did but I was just very excited that we this is very fine I think we should do this more often. Yeah, we should like we should go We should go somewhere for like four days and just like get weird. Yeah, you know next one Let's do by a fire after this. Mm-hmm. We'll have a fireplace. This is beautiful. The moon is full I feel like we're it just went from full down to it's a it's a What is it's when it's waning just slightly? It's right over here. It's it's waning just slightly Isn't that a gibbous or is that when it's getting I?

Don't know which one. What's the one that looks like a gay guy's asshole? It's that over here. It's waning just slightly. Isn't that a gibbous or is that when it's getting I? Don't know which one. What's the one that looks like a gay guys asshole. It's that one half moon It's closing up press it. It's closing up like right after the dick pulls out. Yeah, it's yep And it's that's a bright shiny come leaking out of it You're the one Native American in like the year zero is like no it's gay come Like yeah, I guess he's our witch doctor because he's the weirdest guy And as but I feel it's a metaphor for this whole thing when I'm looking up at the moon I'm like we're growing more evolving. We're changing were Because the moon is yeah, you look up every night. It looks different and never looks the exact same

But you can always depend on it. I'm like, holy fuck, I'm looking up, I'm like, that's the show, and a gay guy's asshole as well. It's crazy. It's a metaphor for the whole thing. Which is also the show. Which, that's what the show is, it's kind of a gay guy's asshole.

We're stretching ourselves, we're filling ourselves up with life. With goo, it's really warm and smelly. The moon is crazy. Just like the podcast studio. It also decides what shitty village gets destroyed by the waves. Yeah, the moon does go, you know what?

Fuck Nagasaki. And then just 12 million people die. What are you sucking on, wieners? It's a hatch green chili. It's all within my diet. The only thing I'm doing breaking my diet is the corona non-alcoholic. By the way, DM me if you know why the non-alcoholic Corona

are 60 calories and a regular Corona is like 150. It's because of the alcohol. It's gotta be the alcohol, right? It like turns to sugar. Maybe they account for that. I told Ben, like, I think a shot glass of vodka is like 90 calories. So that'll be it right there.

Yeah, so I'm just eating this jerky here, the Hatch green chili jerky. You checking the calories. I love checking the nutritional information on vodka. This is 96. Some of them that are organic, it's 75. Ooh. Yeah.

But yeah, I think maybe they're accounting for what the alcohol does and turns the sugar, and then that turns into calories or something. I don't know. I don't care. I'm going to die young. I think you're going to be fine, Dev. You'm gonna die young. I think you're gonna be fine, Dev. You always say that, but I think your anger

is the sail that will guide you to the end of this. I hope so. It is a little Chernobyl inside of you. When I yell about somebody, I hope it clears out something. You've actually brought more life into my life because, or more light into my life just because of the fire I've seen inside of you.

Yeah? I'm like, well, if Devin's getting that mad about a Chance the Rapper commercial, I have to get a little bit more into my principles. Devin does fire you up a little bit. If the Kit Kat like, baby Kit Kat, that you do. How's it go? Do it, you do it?

Yeah, uh, yeah, Devin Kit Kat, get the Kit Kat, get the Kit Kat, yeah. If that comes on it, I'm saying, are you catching? You go, fuck him. Yeah. I'm like, well, I gotta be a more honest guy. Jaycee, you left the other night. Me and Devin put on the Emmys. And it was like, welcome to the 100th, the fifth Emmys or whatever, and presenting, blah, blah, blah. And the first shot we see of the entire audience, Devin immediately goes, I hope they all fucking die. No, I was there for that.

We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. We've seen nothing. first shot we see of the entire audience, Devin immediately goes, I hope they all fucking die. No, I was there for that. We've seen nothing.

I was there for that. We've seen nothing. Yeah, yeah. So far. Because you just know it's gonna be the most disgusting night in human history. Yeah, yeah. And then we're watching it, it's very funny now,

we're watching it like, ah, there's a person who doesn't deserve anything I knew back in the day. Actually, most of the people that we see, I don't know who the fuck they are and what these shows are I don't know what's happening anymore. It's just a bunch of chin implants and like fucking mediocre and the bear wins every single award There is best comedy and that I left my ass Yeah, the bear wins every single thing the bear stank the last season of the bear was a hunk of of hunk of shit It was a hunk of shit and It was a hunk of shit.

And the previous two seasons were like the okay. Were okay. At best. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, who gives a shit? This doesn't matter. That doesn't matter.

What matters is the sun, the mountains, and the distance, the trees. We look out, we actually, Bowen Yang's wearing a tuxedo. He's like, no, I'm here too. He's like, I bought a $5 million house right there, actually. Bowen Yang's wearing a tuxedo. He's like, no, I'm here too. He's like, I bought a $5 million house right there, actually. Bowen Yang's like, I've actually. Can you guys stop yelling faggot?

I'm trying to go to sleep. YouTube actually booked me to do your 100th guys episode. I get everything in showbiz. Bowen Yang's in the distance. He finds like a suitcase, and he grabs it. And he goes, it seems like it's full of money. He gets sniped by the cartel. They have a coyote sitting in the mountains watching.

Yeah, a coyote is like, enough with the gay shows. Enough with the Verizon commercial. No, I mean, Bowen Yang is literally just walking into, he lives out here and then he's walking to studio meetings once a month and he goes, I don't know, it's Fire Island, but you know. Dude, you know what?

I don't even mind Bowen Yang. I'm gonna turn, it's just this, everybody. No, no, no, no, you hate Bowen Yang. Stop acting like you're jaded to the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. You're jaded. But I get it. I get upset at this point. Now he's a cloud. You look outside, you don't even see him anymore.

It's like who gives a shit. But I think we need to start doing a little bit, just a tiny little bit of terrorism. Now I'm not- Domestic? No, here's what I'm saying, you farm it out and you can't be tied to it. We have enough cash flow now. If I called my wife and I was like,

listen baby, we might not make rent this month because I invested in like C4 plastic explosives. But you have to understand, Bowen has to be stopped. Yeah, we've been radicalizing a mountain man. I hired a Hamas and I convinced them Bowen was half Jewish. What I'm gonna do is I think YouTube couldn't possibly pull this off, and Devin, you're an amazing actor,

but I think I could turn myself gay because I think I can brainwash myself very easily sure I think what you guys need to do Next we're gonna book another Airbnb and Joshua tree I want you guys to lock the doors and whatever whatever I say don't let me out and have all the TVs They're behind glass and they're blaring gay pornography. Okay, and do let me out. Okay an entire week. Yeah, we'll give you your dream And just oh no We're like it's like a half-hearted bag man, you barely seem to care about that bag We can hear your wrist breaking while you bang

You lose the gall momentum. There's no water allowed in the house. I can only drink out of the toilet Well, you can always drink make me the toilet. Well, you can only drink. To make me more gay? No, we leave a bottle of con. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Toilet, I come out of the dog bowl. You guys slide little pieces of American cheese underneath the door.

That's what I can eat. Right. And do whatever you hear. Do not let me out. Right. Once I'm out, I'm getting in. I'm heading. I'm being, hey, guys.

And I'm getting I'm heading I'm being hey guys, and I'm getting up in a fucking uber and I'm gonna be a condescending prick to the uber driver all the way to LAX on my phone And if he asked me a fucking question, I'll be like why? Yeah, cuz you're gay guys I fucking suck ass How dare you speak to me? Fuck ass! How dare you speak to me?

And I'll go back on Grindr, because it's terribly important that I fuck constantly. Sure. And, because I have to constantly be window shopping for new assholes, because I'm a gay guy. You have to pull out of a new guy's ass and go, that ass is brat.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I go to New York, and I get on Grindr for five minutes, and I start talking to Bo and Yang. Because that's how it works. If you get on Grindr in New York City, you start talking to 100,000 gay people simultaneously. Yeah.

It's like that scene in The Dark Knight where Morgan Freeman observes the whole city at once. As I'm fucking Bo. Oh my god, John is literally naked. Holy shit. Wow, you're fully naked. That sucks, didn't it. Oh my god Holy shit Your Hank Hill ass sucks The smallest ass I've ever seen holy that looks like a fortune cookie on a man. Oh my god That's so funny

on a man. Oh my God. He rules. That's so funny. I love that. And there's so many listeners that want to put their dick inside that. I know. His ass looks like a piggy bank.

That was crazy. That's the craziest ass I've ever seen. And this is what we wanted, just guys hanging out. Just guys hanging out. We're all going to butt fuck each other after this. John's naked stirring potatoes in the kitchen right now. That's Clay. That's Clay.

That's so funny. I kept saying they're like the same guy. Well, in the reflection, I just see tattoos and some skinny fat people. You mixed them up. But, okay, so anyway, here's what I do. Then I go over to Bo and Yang's Brownstone. I'm assuming he lives in a 19 million dollar building

because, you know, he's a worthless human being. The more worthless you are in New York City, the bigger the brownstone they give you. Bloomberg actually gave him. I like, I don't agree with this. The bigger the brownstone they give you He makes some good he models good joggers throughout Manhattan sure in windows He wears he wears weirder glasses every day And I love his weird glasses stop acting like this isn't deserved because he's been around for so long that and shut the fuck you're right. He is Bullshit he's been grandfathered and there's talented fucking people on SNL that we know and I think some of the sketches are actually good

And some of the writers are good, but fuck but fuck that and you know what you know what especially fuck Bowen Yang Because now that he's like leaving SNL. He's trying to be like the show was cringe and I hate Being on SNL is cringe and gay. No, you're cringe and gay. You could have made it good. He wants to have his penis cake and eat it too. And you just called an actual gay man. Well, I didn't.

I'm calling him a b**** like he's a loser. No, Dev, we're saying it with love. No, you met because he sucks ass. Okay, maybe we'll have Jason bleep that. It's b**** because he sucks ass. Is it an actual epithet if I say that? It might be, I don't know. I mean, we'll have Jason bleep that. It's because he sucks ass. Is it an actual epithet if I say that? It might be, I don't know. We'll have him bleep it.

Who knows? I don't know what I've been saying all up. We've also done. Jason, you have a phone. Just put down minute 40. Oh, there's a few things I need to talk to Jason about after this. Minute what? God bless Jason the great minute 40.

Maybe we... Okay. Because I don't know if it's like... I just meant for YouTube. Is it like a hate crime? You said it really angrily? Yeah, it's cuz I'm angry. I know you should be it's not you know what you should be Oh, I know what an Asian guy

To be to give credit to you you did choose the proper slur to go for if you went Asian We'd have to delete this whole thing Cuz they're hot right now. Here's the thing. Okay They're spicy. They're hot too. Okay, they're spicy. They're spicy. They're spicy. But here's, okay, Devan, please feel free to interject before I unveil my plan.

Go on, go on. So my plan is I'm fucking him in the ass in his brownstone, right? And you're damn right it's a brownstone. I gotta, that's what I call his ass. I got a big, you know me, I'm well endowed. I have a pretty large cock. Mm-hmm. It's it's girthy It's a we fuck all the time wait to it. Oh, yeah You get away with the jugs you fuck me all the time. Oh shit. They rape each other

It's like when Carlosman see it was like yeah, I still jokes. Yeah, I still jokes all the time That's how you get away with being gay. You're like, yeah, I suck cock in the back of the room You better run motherfucker cuz I'm gonna fuck you in the ass What if them did this show it's the mind of mincy and it's just like gay porn It's just like transport and stuff. You're like, this is inside his mind interesting Very interesting. That's all it is. Yeah, it's being John Malkovich But you just and you crawl through the tunnel and you come out on the turnpike you like yeah There's a room full of gay pornography

It's just you don't take me into they said in the new season. I get still material So so it's just him banging gay Mexican guys standing at the edge of their bathtub Like I'm at a motel six like holding a corona with their ass So here is like the famous meme as I fuck him in the air Mexican guy and he's like he's like let's get the party started tonight, and he's like holding a corona's has his ass Bathtub like a shitty Amazing John shows me all the time Okay, so here's what happens all right as I'm fucking him in the ass and his brownstone

Look around I go. I'm like, oh wow. I'm like nice. Is that a is that an original on the wall? He's like no, it's it's like a it's like a pratt. I'm like, oh cool. Cool. I keep fucking him I'm like, oh shit nice rug. Like yeah, I'm distracting him, you know and I'm like, oh shit, nice rug. Like yeah, I'm distracting him, you know? And because what he doesn't know is I slip, you know the little transponder device that Anton Shigeru uses in The Country Full of Men? Sure.

That he puts in, that they have in the cash, the cartel has in the cash? Yeah. I do that, but in his asshole. Right. I put one of those little beeping things. A beeping thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're driving around rest Hollywood,

just trying to find the right club. I drive by Ackbar. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Which is a crazy name for a bar. There's a gay bar called Ackbar. Which, how has that not been bombed? That's insane. You're asking me, I don't know.

Yeah. I don't know. But you're being mean. John Mahama Cantina. You're being mean to Bowen. You're right, he's talented. It's not his fault. He's won a show that sucks.

And it's not his fault that for a... His costume designers are more talented than him. Who cares if for five, six... And it's, dude, it's not true. Some of those sketches are good. And like some of those people are very funny people on that show. Yeah.

And he might... It's hard to do a sketch show every week. Maybe he's talented. We haven't seen it on the show in five, six years. If he's stitching the costumes, he has talent. But I like what he says. If he's stitching the costumes that makes him look like a snowflake in a glacier.

Yeah, he's like, he's the gay kid in School of Rock. He designed the outfits for them to go on stage. Yeah, all of his sketches are like, I'm the gay mosquito. Yeah. That's it. And it's always a character that doesn't make any sense, and that guy has never existed before. Sure. It's a character, it's a person that's doesn't make any sense, and that guy's never existed before. Sure.

It's a person that's never existed. And there's a Union guy up at 4 a.m. knitting together a gay, a mosquito with a big floppy cock on it. But who cares? He's the face of Uni-Glo. Throughout Manhattan. He runs the city. Immediately. He's a kingpin.

He was immediately. I remember I went to, I think I was in New York like a year after he was on SN to, I think I was in New York like a year after he was on SNL and he was like in every fucking windowsill. Like every major company that had like, you know, fashion shit, he was like there. And I go, wow, it really is like a funnel. It's a.

It's a kingmaker, did you get on that show? It's such a kingmaker. Hand over fist, you do corporate gigs where you're making like 500. Yeah, you tie hand over fist, yeah. It's a game. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. You know, you're making, you you do corporate gigs where you're making like You know you make you doing corporate gigs for it's so funny by the way because I'm sure he goes on dates Where he's like I hate capitalism and like this and that and then like he does a corporate get the next day for Merrill Lynch For like six hundred thousand dollars for like 30 minutes of like, you know, he goes up there. He plays patty cake

You know, he does he does go fish or whatever the hell. And they hand him a big fucking check. And then one CFO who's drunk in the very back corner under his brother goes, fair game. And then he goes, who said that? He turns like fiery red and starts glowing. He just like disappears the guy like Dr. Manhattan. No, he's an evil guy.

But what would you do if you put... He's an evil guy and he must be stopped. By the way, I'm just kidding, I'm kidding. No, you's an evil guy, but what would you do if you put... He's an evil guy and he must be stopped. By the way, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. No, you're being silly. Look, you take all your hate for the whole world and you pour it into one guy and you talk about him on a podcast. Because you go, what the fuck is this? But you're not actually...

I'm not actually that mad and I'm actually... When I heard that... I'm really happy for his success and I hope he has a long career. When I heard him talking honestly about how shitty that show is I was like okay at least he's fucking you know Self-aware. This is what these motherfuckers do though, dude. They take the check and they're like I don't even care. This is crazy Yeah, isn't it crazy I'm ruining the country I'm ruining it Isn't it crazy?

I'm ruining the country Ruining the country that really is It's actually great. But you are right, he is picking up guys on Grindr and they're like, yeah, UBI, it's basic. And then the guy's like, okay, can you put the fish costume that funnels come into my mouth? Yeah, I'm sure he loves Andrew Yang and this and that.

And then he goes to Boeing and he's like, zzz, zzz, zzz, on a Tomahawk missile or whatever the fuck. He hugged Shane and I was like, that's incredible. Yeah, you were moved by that. I was moved. That was like- When he hugged Shane. Interesting, wow.

When he had the balls, despite what Shane has done, when he had the balls, despite what Shane has done, to hug him, and he hugged Shane. Did Shane like wash his hands after that? No, no, he put him over rice and dipped him into some soy sauce. Yeah, it's like a phone, you have to put him in rice to dry him out, to get all the HIV virus out. I remember that was a big moment.

I was like, why, he shouldn't have even let that be a thing. Why would you have any problem with Shane? Who, Bowen? Yeah, I think, wasn't that a moment when Shane hosted? Well, no, that's the reason Bowen had a home. Bowen hugged him at the end, and everyone's like, oh my God. They kinda act like it's Putin

with another world leader. They love each other. And they hugged and shook hands. Like the met with another world leader and they hugged and shook hands like the war's over or something. Putin hugged a kitty. What? After we finish I'll have a steak. Oh we're never finishing. Bring it right here pal.

Eating on cam. Can I have it rare? This turns into like a fucking Bourdain. This really is a, we might be a right wing podcast now reading Red Meek and talking shit about the gays. Not a bad way to go out boys if this is our last up on YouTube. I'm, fucking I love gay people, I don't have any problem with gay people at all. Just the ones who are bad, you know.

I just, if you annoy me on my TV, I think you should burn in hell. And you'll use everything against them that they have. So if they happen to be gay, you go, Ah, fuck, they're fucking gay! You're getting it all, you're getting everything because you take it in the ass. But that is what you use every weapon at your disposal to hurt somebody.

They're behind a screen and they're not real. They're just pixels floating in. They got NBC, they got General Electric, We're fighting guerrilla warfare, you know Yeah, we got a we got a run up to tanks full of gay and trans people and just throw little Sticky bombs inside of the window Yeah little I was laughing the scene in private Ryan when they take the Bombs full of socks and throw them on the side of tank because I imagine it's their jerk off socks

They're putting grenades in and slapping them to the side of the tanks to stick So there's guys in a room like we need more socks. Hurry up. Keep fucking jacking off They're like they're all fucking just coming in their tubes Yeah, there's one there's one like like fat sweaty soldiers. Just like oh They just milk him. He's like a cow for the army dude the scene where he's pushing the knife into the guy's heart That's how if I was getting fucked by a gay guy who's stronger than me it would go exactly like that And the dicks getting closer to my mouth And there's another gay guy just be like, no, no man. Can't do anything.

There's a gay guy shoving a cock in my throat. I'm holding it like this, trying to hold him back. Double fisting. As he's slowly. He's so strong though, his dick is that strong even. Yeah, as he's slowly pushing. And it's pointy. It penetrates your skull.

Yeah, no, you just see it go at the back of your head and you just go. Your mouth's like a gape on the floor, nailed in with a dick. And he just walks down that stairwell. There should have been like, Rod Serling always took something to an extreme to show its inherent flaw, right? Sure. So there should have been a Twilight Zone episode where

a guy has a really small penis and he wishes he has a really big one. And he wakes up one day And he starts getting hard and he's like, holy shit My cock's so big and it keeps it keeps getting bigger and bigger every day and eventually he's like fuck I want to I want to suck my own dick. Like it's so big I could just suck it right here. He puts it in his mouth and then he's like, oh, he can't it's so big He can't back up and it keeps growing and like a beaver's tooth

It just grows through his head out the back of his brain and then Rod Serling walks on screen he goes Rod Serling walks on screen he goes imagine a world that kicks ass Imagine dying in the coolest kick-ass way about John Knauss president everybody's dick grows through their mouth It's the guy who finally gets a big dick, but pussies get smaller and he's like no It's the guy who finally gets a big dick but pussies get smaller and he's like no It's like Burgess Meredith. He's like there was so much dick. There's so much dick. There's so much dick What John says screaming about

Over there. I guess we have dinner. Did you guys like Rod Serling's the Twilight Zone because it's one of my favorite shows I mean just watch growing up. I think we probably saw every episode. Yeah, we would wait for on New Year's my mom would make us Like a baked oysters and we would watch the Twilight Zone Marathon on the sci-fi channel. That sounds great. Yeah, it was fantastic I watched it a couple times not much We kind of had like it mean just had a real black and white childhood by that mean we ride in segregation Do one school another school? Yeah, there was I mean we were in segregation. Yeah, I know that. One school, another school, and it was harmony. Different water fountains, yeah. We had Andy, right?

We had Andy and Barney growing up. We had a fuckin' Barney Fife and the gang. And we also had- Oh my God, look, Ben gets a whole meal. Ooh, beautiful. Oh, I can't have potatoes, but maybe I'm celebrating. Just, it's a hundredth of that. Come on, it's your birthday.

You just called the bow and yang a slur on TV. Just wait to eat it, wait till the end and then you can eat it. No, I want to eat it. So let's take a break and eat this. Nobody's gonna wanna listen to us eat steaks on camera. There's enough people to kinda, come on, we're like. Well, they have.

You don't like the scenes in like old, like the Lord of the Rings when they're all drinking mead and eating salted pork and stuff. Yeah, but Gimli doesn't have a mic in his face going like, oh, this is so fucking good, fuck. Yeah, I'd be jacking off to that. I'd be like, oh fuck. No, so let's eat.

It's Gimli. Let's eat and then we'll just keep going after that. We'll just go all night. Dude, he's the one guy I've never seen DeviantArt of Gimli getting fucked. Yeah. Like no one wants to fuck that guy for some reason. He's so gross.

The Deviant Art of Gimli is Sonic throwing up because he just got drunk and fucked Gimli. But me and Jace, my first memory of anything that I watched was actually The Three Stooges. Coming to consciousness watching The Three Stooges. Really? It was my favorite show was The Three Stooges. We had a four.

We loved The Three Stooges so much we bought a Three Stooges video game on the Game show was the three stooges. We had a, we had a, we had a four. We love the three stooges so much, we bought a three stooges video game on the Game Boy. Oh yeah, we talked about that. Were you eating clam chowder in the game? It was like a mini game. Were you eating the little crackers out of the clam chowder? And I remember, yeah. I'd be like, fuck yeah, high score.

Yeah, I'd be like six and four, I'd be playing, and I'm like, I just, he currently ate all the chowder, this kicked ass. I'm like, fucking rules. Does life get any better? Like when you're seven. Yeah, life, fucking rules. That's my dad's putting his fist through a wall, like behind us.

We're like, life, officially kick ass. But we love the three suges, and then, you know, really looked up to Andy and John Wayne, those are my two heroes, you know, Sheriff Andy. Deputy Barney Fire. Right, right. And then I didn't like Gomer very much. He always seemed odd. Yeah.

Missed Kyle. You knew there was something nefarious about Gomer Pyle? And there's like a big light over, oh, they started the fire over there. And... They're on fire. Three stooges. John comes walking through frame,

like how they do in movies, waving his arms. It's like the guy who gets set on fire and fury Shoots himself in the head the German and So we have the three suges Andy and uncle and then we had the cartoon Garfield And this is what I feel that Garfield and friends Yes Which we this was where he went to the farm and then my dad would always be watching John Wayne movies and it was just Known as just it was just John Wayne's on TV

Those were the four things that I kind of only knew about besides Mario Kart till I was like 12 Yeah, and we don't know anything else. We also we only had classic rock stations in the middle of nowhere, Texas So like we'd be like we were like fucking 17. We're like dude Boston kicks ass We were like just old dads. Yeah, basically. Dude, one of the first bands I learned about was Fog Hat. Yeah. Because my dad always listened to Fog Hat. So that was kind of my frame of reference for music.

Yeah. Was, snow ride, burnin', dun-da, dun-da, take it easy. He would turn Fog Hat up and like kind of drive like really fast and kind of like take the hands off the wheel a little bit. Dude, that rules. I mean, he needs to show you guys like you know some some excitement my dad almost got hit by a that's so funny take a picture of John's

ass my dad almost got my dad almost got hit by a train listening to fog hat he said he was blaring slow ride and he came up over a railroad crossing as soon as he passed it went and like his truck like moved by the train flying by. And our dad went, damn it! Oh! Shit! Mis-signed it! Guess I gotta tell everyone this is a weird accident.

Yes, I was gonna turn myself into jelly when the beat dropped, when the drum solo kicked in. That and Frankenstein by the Edgar Winter Band. Yeah, yeah, who's a six foot six albino guy who fucking just shredded. Yeah, the song that goes, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na than Daniel Johnston. Nothing's better. Nothing's better. You wanted a big rant about gay people at the end of the episode. And you got a big stake in front of you. Well, look, it's not about belief anymore. It's just where is the pendulum swinging and can we swing it back the other way?

We need some goddamn balance in this universe. I see too much love for the LGBT community and goddamn it, I'm going to spread a little hate. I'm going to be like Johnny Appleseed and I'm going to be dropping some slurs in the soil and planting them and seeing some trees grow, god damn it. I hear you, brother. Johnny Appleslewer. You love that one. Johnny Appleseed. I'm gonna be dropping some slurs in the soil and planting them and see if some trees grow god damn it Johnny Apple slur yeah God damn it. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like you got it. We are the watchers We have to keep people in check and we have to go around and guard the truth

Yeah, we're the guys the truth is this everyone sucks ass. ass. So get off your fucking high horse about your bullshit. Retard. Read the Bible and get off your high horse. That's what I gotta say to the world. Anyway, I love Daniel Johnstein. He's one of my favorite fucking retards. True love will find you in the ass. I'm gonna kill my dad in a plane.

I've been drawing weird pictures all around Austin. I work at a Wendy's and my feet have roots growing out of them. And everyone's gonna ignore how kind of very horny and weird I am. I made an incredible love song and I'm an autistic guy that should have been in the ebombs world Can I take your order? So buddy, he's just a McDonald's showing people their penis and Kurt Cobain's like you're my favorite musician because you're great

Daniel Johnson kills Kurt Cobain's like, you're my favorite musician. He goes, you're great. And then he blows his head off. Oh, Daniel Johnson kills Kurt Cobain. He kills Kurt, and then he fucks Courtney Love. And he goes, it's my pussy now, bitch. Courtney Love will kill you in the end. She'll blow your head off with a shotgun. She's a vicious big-tittied whore. And she needs to lose some weight. So don't give up until Courtney hits one away.

This song is dedicated to fat Courtney love. You fat bitch. You fat cunt. People in the club and I'll also be like, oh, woo, yeah. Walking the Cow was about him going on a date with Courtney. I am walking the cow, Courtney love. Yeah, it's his famous. You guys don't know any tracks? It's his famous graffiti, hi, how heavy are you?

That's so funny. He's just, he hates fat chicks. He's a retard who works at McDonald's. He hates fat chicks. And he's the biggest awesome music legend besides like Steve Vareffa. He's handing you your bag. Or Steven Van Zandt. What the fuck is his name? I forget. The guitar player. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Steven Van Zandt, the famous Texas player. I don't even know. I don't fucking know anything. I'm a really advanced at the famous, Texas. I don't know. I don't fucking know anything I'm a goddamn retard. Yeah, I think so Ben's aunt. Yeah in Bruce rate of towns fans in the East River Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Hey I'm a real old by morning tone. I don't know you know West, Texas

You know, we gotta go to the game tomorrow the kids are playing no tone I've been reading Larry McMurtry cuz he reminds me of my childhood He's a fucking Christ Christopher you bet on these fucking kids every week the fucking children You can't rely on them if the dove is so lonesome. Why doesn't he get some friends? Why doesn't he get a fucking couple goons? He's not lonely anymore. I don't fucking get this guy. But I was right originally. It's Stevie Ray Vaughn.

I corrected myself because I- Stevie Ray Vaughn died at the Lovefield airport. And by the way, shame- Yep, helicopter crash. I'm sick of- Fuck helicopters. My goal for- Fuck helicopters.

I wanna enter 2025. I don't wanna feel shame anymore. And I don't wanna have any bit of self-hatred. It's a, it's a soul eating emotion. It's a new age. Carl Jung said, and I'm sick of it. We should all be so, God, I love you so much.

We should, we need to stop apologizing. We all need to be proud of ourselves. We all, everybody in the comments, we all need to build each other up. Everyone in the discord, everyone on the Reddit, we all need to love each other and we all need to build each other up. Everyone in the Discord, everyone on the Reddit, we all need to love each other and we all need to be nice to me. Yeah.

And I think we all need to make the Patreon go up a little bit more. They heard that. A little bit more so I'm a little comfortable. And we'll do another episode right after I eat this meal. Oh wait, you wanna end now? Yeah, we do need to. I mean, I need to pee and lay in this.

Devin, you can put the mic down. You know I can talk forever lemon party clips channel I do live streams Wednesdays and Fridays everybody but What was I gonna say? So I'm sick of shame and all this I've been listening to a lot of Daniel Johnson is what I'm saying and the man is Retarded it's so easy to say that I'm like a gay, like, cuck for liking him.

But it's the same reason I like a lot of comedy specials, where it's the rawest form of their thoughts. Like, some of Louis's specials aren't his best special, but there's some of them. They have some of my favorite jokes because you can tell he's told them like two or three times. Yeah, it's the sincerity of what you're witnessing, which is what I like about Daniel Johnson as well Yeah and he I don't even know if he was really autistic or if he was just possessed by the devil and That's why he drew pictures of the devil constantly like fucking him in the ass, you know, I'm like dead dogs I think I think I'm not misremembering this but I think he secretly had a lot of

Very horny drawings. I think I looked at one time that they just kind of don't talk about. Yeah. Yeah, there's really weird stuff Yeah, but no he was drawing like dragons with like big tits like sucking their own dick and shit Did he and he would dream every night of like Sodom and Gomorrah? Yeah It was it was absolute hell that he lived in it wasn't good There was just like frogs with big titties getting like ass fucked by Hitler And like you don't see those you just see the cute little frog on the side of the the yogurt shop in Austin That's what he's known for but if you look at the b-sides of Daniel Johnson, it's like turtles getting ripped in half Yeah, by like neo-nazis and stuff. Even the high how are you frog? He's like he's actually holding his own balls

Because he ripped them off because he was so yeah, there's other drawings of the high How are you alien frog where he's crossing his antenna eyeballs into swastikas? I was just laughing at the idea if he's working at his McDonald's and Kurt Cobain walks in he's like I need to show you this tape. And he pulls out a VHS out of his pocket. He opens it and it's just his balls just sticking through the VHS cassette. I think that would be very funny.

And I think it would be funny because he's retarded. I love that, Jase. Man, Clay is just an amazing chef. Yeah, Clay's a great chef. That's unbelievable. I cannot wait to bite make the good meal. He let me help make it. Hey, John. What's going on? Are you still there? I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here.

I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. make the good meal. He let me help make it. Hey, John, what's going on? Are you still naked under that towel? John, what are you looking at? What? Oh shit. You were looking like you saw a fucking ghost. The fireworks. Jesus. You look like a woman that just got like fucking raped in the back room.

He's showing me his asshole. John and John does look like one of the guys from the taken boat just walked out. Do John says like a rape. He has like a rape stare sometimes. I'm like, you OK, buddy? Oh, no, no. He's a real teddy bear, but he definitely looks like a problem. looks like a problem. What have you guys gotten into this week? Jesus Christ. Well, I don't know, you know, doing any soul searching?

Having any big epiphanies? I've been getting really into chess, that's about it. I've been trying to get really good at chess so I can beat Joey a bunch and get a big ride There's nothing interesting about chess to me except that Bobby Fisher Supposedly the smartest man to ever live who was also a vicious anti-semite was it was a G buddy Why do you think I got into the game? Now apparently he wasn't even a joy was explained to this me apparently Bobby Fisher wasn't even like a they call him a kooky guy But it was the day after 9-11 He was like he called a radio station in Puerto Rico

Joey was saying and was like is like, oh, this is so great I mean, we've been funneling money to Israel and the you know, the Taliban we caused all this It's he was like too far ahead of his time with all the woke shit. No, you Joey has no idea what he's talking about. You should absolutely go read what Bobby Fisher was saying about the Jews for decades was he yes He was a one of the biggest and proudest self-proclaimed anti-semites that has ever lived Infinity for him because he plays chess oh no here's Joey by the way blobby Fisher over here come on come on the podcast folks And then he walked right back in as he should. Big fat guy. Joey LaFat, everybody.

He says, I'm not going to stand for that. He walked right back in. Oh, no, he's getting his. Would you like to defend Bobby Fisher on the show? Joey, Joey LaFleur, everybody. Let me hear it for Wow. Grandmaster Joey LaFleur. Thanks for having me on. Is this a six 600 pound life podcast?

Big fat Ben. Every comment that I've ever said, I don't know what's going on, but every comment that I see is Ben is such a fat piece of shit. I don't know what you did. I think several years ago you went out, you went on an adventure.

I've no, I started exploring. I've become a mark because I've started speaking the truth and people are trying to kill me. They're targeting you, see, that's a CIA kind of Psyop. They're like, let's pretend that Ben Avery's fat and you're acting like you're not fat. Well, you know what it's called? It's an old trick that they do.

It's called character assassination. They did the same thing to Julian Assange that they're doing me. They're paying people, the FBI and the CIA and all the intelligence agencies are in bed together. I'm talking about the swamp. I'm talking about the swamp I'm talking about these people they're paying big big money to people to call me fat on YouTube You only like the swamp because you're looking for catfish and gators cuz I'm Shrek. Yeah

Gator and buying a piece out of it. I love I love like a smooth blue catfish I do love a smooth blue catfish. I do love a smooth blue catfish They're pretty nice like that down like a slug around the sharp fin. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what you guys are doing But you somehow with my own lion eyes you've made him fattened person too So I don't know how you did that. I don't know how the hell you did that, but well they did it They got my control. Oh, they got me. I think they hypnotize to make you fat. I mean, it'd be pretty easy to hypnotize you Right, they I'm a fool. No, no, they attach a white cloth to a string and they do this and they go you will think Ben Is very fat when I snap my fingers

But I do it back to you with a fucking McDouble and then now it's a now it's a cat and mouse So as what we said about Bobby Fisher, were you like trying to attack me? Jase is claiming, he goes, no, he goes, Bobby Fischer was just ahead of his time with like the 9-11 conspiracy. He wasn't actually a vicious, like self-proclaimed anti-Semite. Well, so as a Zionist, first of all, I'm a Zionist.

And I say that I've said it on every podcast. You're trying to rationalize your love for Bobby Fischer. No, Bobby Fischer was like the opposite of a Zionist. Jace is saying that he asked you about Bobby Fischer and you said he wasn't an anti-Zionist. Okay, no, no, no, so here was my point. Not that there's anything wrong with that. With being a Zionist?

No, no, no, no, either. It's America, you're allowed to believe whatever you want. Well, you're really covering all your bases, aren't you? Yeah, I figured out 30% of them believe in the J.Q. We're trying to keep folks happy. That was a dark day for the comments. That was a dark day when people were like, un-sub. But Jace, I will say, without the darkness,

there is no light. Yeah, that's true. And it's beautiful that everybody from all walks of life are welcome in the YouTube comment section. I love it, I love scrolling and just seeing people at every end of the spectrum. You know the mushrooms just hit me, and I realized, Hitler was the good guy.

That is the worst realization. As you're eating steak. I would hate to do mushrooms, and that's what I think. Fuck Winston Churchill. Adolf Hitler was, he was being pushed into a corner. Maybe we should let him have any more mushrooms. I don't think so. Devons preparing to do Rogan by eating red meat

and talking about how much he loves Hitler. I think if we give him any more mushrooms, he might shave his head. But no, very quickly let me defend myself because I was fucking getting besmirched while I was inside. I couldn't even defend myself by Ben, the coward Ben Avery, fat coward Ben Avery. And by the way, you know what happens to cowards?

They get assassinated. Yeah. If we know anything about Santa Claus. Yeah, good luck sleeping. I hope you sleep real cozy, because I'm going to be here. Yeah. I don't know, something might happen to you. Oh, really?

There might be a little accident. You might wake up in the pool. Well, you're going to get so drunk. Good for me, you get black out drunk, and if I lock a door you can't get through it You're like a you're like a fucking NPC Character trying to walk I don't even sleep. I'm on steroids. I haven't slept in three months I Literally no longer need sleep if you enough steroids. You don't need to sleep. That's what I found out found that out the hard way My fucking chest is giant. I'm getting I eat a lot right now. I care about my muscles. I'm getting a little fatter

I will be honest. I'm almost as fat as you've been But here's the thing Bobby Fisher. Okay as a Zionist, I'm gonna defend him a little bit Because so his whole thing he got fucking killed on 9-eleven He called into a radio show that his friend hosted He called into a radio show that his friend hosted and he said, he goes, this is the best day of my life. He goes, Oh my God, I love this day. He goes, these goddamn United States Jews, they've had this coming forever for what they've been doing to Palestine and all these countries out there.

Shame on them. They finally got one back. Somebody finally did it back to them. And so everybody was like on 9-11 in America, if you could remember at the Unity and like everybody's like, oh, we love America and what a tragedy. Worse thing you could say. But now if somebody said that, not only if somebody said that, huge stars are saying that constantly non-stop. And they're not even borderline vilified. Bobby Fischer was crucified and then not allowed back into the country and considered to this

day his legacy, probably the greatest chess player of all time, completely ruined legacy. So first of all, crazy to say then still crazy to say now. More like Bobby Fishing for likes on X. Yeah, he's trying to rack up. He's engagement farming is what he's doing. He's a Hitler guy. Yeah. But so anyways, I love Bobby Fischer. It's a weird coincidence that he's one of the smartest people to ever live.

And he's he's said to keep your eye on the Jews. Yeah, so that was that's just weird coincidence that he's one of the smartest people to ever live and he's he said to keep your eye on the Jews Yeah, so that was that's just a coincidence So the most talented guy at a game that requires the most amazing pattern recognition of all massive foresight Joey I thought the same thing when I read his Wikipedia and I was like maybe there's something to this a little bit And if you this guy can basically see the future. He's 20 steps ahead of you. Oh yeah, yeah. If you're sitting across from him.

What does that tell you? So, like all these chess nerds sit around and they debate, who is the greatest chess player of all time? Is it Garry Kasparov? Is it Magnus Carlsen? Is it Bobby Fischer? And one of the metrics-

Is it Joey LaFleur? Well, you know, listen, probably, you know, I think a lot of people say that too. But one of the metrics well you know listen probably you know I think a lot of people say that too but one of the metrics that people use to decide who's the best is how far ahead of all of your competitors you are at the time and on that metric Bobby Fisher beats everybody crazily he was like several I I don't wanna say 100 points ELO above, but he was like, there has been no ELO gap like that ever. So he was way ahead of everybody in understanding.

And he wasn't the guy who had like the long career of like a Kasparov or something like that, but he's shown so bright. Right, so Kasparov wins on that metric. It's like consistency and being the lineage and being around, sticking around, and defending your title X amount of times. But so yeah, point is, if he's that fucking far ahead

of everybody on chess, maybe he was on the Jews as well. Okay, and I'm gonna leave on that. I'm gonna leave on that. I'm glad, the great Joe LaFleur. I gotta say. I love you, congrats on 100 episodes by the way. Thank you buddy. Love you buddy.

And listen. Thank you buddy. DC, come on I love you. Biggest neck in showbiz right here. Thank you. Oh my bad, I just knocked that off. Oh, back, oh look at that. I found the button Your professional buddy. We love you Joe. I love you more. We did it Joe

And by the way We did it Joe. You know what I will say it is kind of your fault that John off now runs a biker gang In a weird butterfly effect weird way. Yeah weird way, yeah. The decisions, yeah. So maybe this was all a mistake. Maybe I took the blue pill. Maybe I didn't take the red pill. Maybe we shut the whole damn thing down. Yeah.

I was starting the podcast, dude. We shut the whole damn thing down. Let's get jobs at selling boats or cars or something. I don't know. This isn't right. I mean, sometimes I think this isn't right. Joe, you'd be a great boat salesman, can I say? Oh man, we all would, I think. But anyways, love you guys.

Love you, Joe. I don't want to get gay, but actually, it's like, we're celebrating sort of a... We're in the desert, you can get gay, it's fine. I'm getting gay. Gavin's on mushrooms. John's showing his asshole. He was showing his asshole to me out there, by the way. Multiple times. No showing his asshole. He was showing his asshole to me out there, by the way. Multiple times. No, he's going private. No, he uses these moments as an opportunity to finally show

himself. He showed his asshole to me in private, and he was wagging it around, hoping that I walked over, I think, and did something. Do you think this is how he gets his sick kicks? Yeah. Doing this bit? Oh, yeah, yeah.

And he's like on mushrooms, so he's using that as an excuse. Like, oh, I'm not gay, I'm just on mushrooms. And then me, and then you know. Oh, you can take me to my mushrooms. You're looking back. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna wake up before I be sucking you off.

Yeah. All right, love you guys. Love you, Joey. Love you, buddy. Thank you, Joey. Thank you, Joey. I'll take the anti-Semitism from here. I got it.

Let's let the professionals get to it. Yeah, just hand me that torch. Thank you, Joe. I'll take the anti-Semitism from here. I got it. Let's let the professionals get to it. Yeah, just hand me that torch. So yeah, Joey, I was going to get to that. Joey beat me to it because I'm reading it. It's the biggest case I've seen for these things that I won't say on YouTube because then they'll pick up the terms and everything.

But these questions is that reading Bobby Fisher, he's a brilliant genius, who he understood a game at the highest level that requires a lot of, let's just say, seeing into the future. And he warned the whole world about one specific set of people. And you know, that's a part of life,

is every once in a while you learn a bit of information that you have to go, you know what, I didn't actually learn that just now. I don't actually have to put that in the way I process reality. Well, I don't. I go to the library and I start learning. I get a library card and I, what's up Joey? I think my phone started interrupting.

Oh, I think there's a phone right there. That's my phone. Never mind. I'm cutting into your phone like with a fork and knife and eating it with a there's a coyote ordering door dash on Joey's Phone right now, so it said a here anti-semitism Jan hind Donner wrote at the time of in 1961 Fisher idolized Hitler and read everything about him that he could lay his hands on He also championed a brand of anti-semitemitism that could only be thought up by a mind completely

cut off from reality. Donner took Fisher to a war museum which left a great impression since Fisher is not an evil person and afterwards he was more restrained in his remarks to me at least. From the 1980s on, Fisher's comments about Jews were a major theme in his public and private remarks. He openly denied the Holocaust and called the United States a forest controlled by dirty hook nose circumcised Jew bastards Well, I want to well as we all had that was end quotations and that was not one of my originals We all hate ourselves. Yeah, exactly. Oh, was he Jewish? I mean he looked Jewish. Yeah. Oh cuz he's named after a fish No, I think Bobby Fischer was Jewish. His parents were like, you look like a fish.

His original name was Russ and Brothers. James, Bobby Fischer wasn't Jewish? I mean, he looked kind of. I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'm gonna look this up real quick, I'll be right back. Look, was he Jewish, wasn't he Jewish? Look, it takes one to know one, right? Even better case, honestly.

He doesn't need you. It takes one to know one, right? Even better case, honestly. Look, it's not like he just hated Woody Allen's movies. He denounced the whole group of people. Yeah, what if he's like, but Woody Allen, that guy knows what he's doing. Everything about that guy I like. Between 1999 and 2006, Fisher's primary means of communicating with the public was radio interviews.

34 such broadcasts, mostly with radio stations in the Philippines, but also Hungary, Iceland, Colombia, and Russia. What's funny about the end of his life is he turned into Pat Oswald and the big fan, but instead of talking shit about the Pittsburgh Steelers, he was talking shit about the Jews. Where he's pacing in a dirty bedroom in the Philippines, and he's calling a radio station in Rajakovic.

He's calling Mike and the Mad Dog in New York. Yeah. Just talking shit about the Patriots. like a radio station in Rzhekovac. He's calling Mike and the Mad Dog in New York. Yeah. Just talking shit about the Patriots. And Mad Dog Russo's like, you can't say that about the Jews. It's crazy you would say that on TV right now. It says here that in 1999, he gave a radio call and interview to a station in Budapest,

during which he described himself as the victim of an international Jewish conspiracy. In another radio interview, Fisher said that it became clear to him in 1977, after reading the secret world government by Count Cherub Spirodovich, that Jewish agencies were targeting him. Fisher's sudden re-emergence was apparently triggered when some of his belongings, which had been stored in Pasadena, California, storage unit, were sold by the landlord who claimed it was in response to nonpayment of rent. So this is very funny. I wonder if Bobby Fischer just had a bad experience with the landlord

and hates Israel now, which by the way, that's how a lot of connection would be the connection there. By the way, that's how a lot of us get on that path. I said it just, you get a little behind on rent and you know what? I love Palestine. I said it the other day. Every time I sign my rent check at the end of the month I go, ah. You guys know about Fisher Price? Yep.

Bobby Fisher Price. So, oh this is so funny. Dude, this is so funny. Devin, there's no way of knowing where my tobacco is. So Fisher, at a press conference, upon his return to Reykjavik, Iceland. How do you say that again? I knew, remember how to say it once. Reykjavik?

Reykjavik. Iceland. Lashed out at Jeremy Schaap, the son of late Dick Schaap, a sports writer who had been a father figure to Fisher when growing up, calling his father a Jewish snake for doubting Fisher's sanity in his later writings. Fisher's library. Harry Fisher, by the way, also was Jewish. Well Fisher. Fisher's library. Michael Fisher by the way also was Jewish. Well Fisher.

He was Jewish. Well it takes one to know one. Right well so yeah. This is like in the departed you know and you know. Jewy LaFure. So Kramer from Seinfeld. Jewish. Who's Jewish?

Kramer from Seinfeld. Michael Richards is Jewish. Yeah yeah yeah I just read. Well actually he was Italian Catholic he was not Jewish. He was a Jew. I just read his memoir. I just read a actually he was Italian Catholic. He was not Jewish. He wasn't you I just read his memoir I Just read a post on reddit that said he was Jewish. He's not Jewish can we confirm I just read it like a 600 page memoir of his where he's not I could have sworn he was

He doesn't know he doesn't know his father his his mother was raised his mother was raped by a black guy What's up who wrote the memoir and then later she gave birth to him. Who wrote the memoir? Isn't it funny? Your mom gets raped by a black guy and you still hate the Jews? Well, Michael Richards, I don't know who raped Michael Richards' mom.

I do. Oh, this is Michael Richards, not Bobby Fischer? Yeah, he was saying, by the way, he goes, Oh, we moved on! Joey, for some reason, had it now in second order. He goes, by the way, Michael Richards, I know, is a Jew too, and he's not. He's an Italian Catholic.

He visited his parents in Italy all the time. Joey, you are the boy who cried Jew a little bit right now. Did I cry Jew? Did someone confirm this? Show me a Jew that can- Pony fucking account. I'm not gonna egg on my face. It's another- Hey, Devin, Show me a Jew that can- Phony fucking account. I got an egg on my face. It's another-

It's another good time. Hey, Devin, show me a fucking Jew that can make a good sauce. You know what I mean? Hey, guys, go ahead and enjoy your shrimp. It's another phony- Do we believe that Ben has ever read a book? Now he's saying he read the Michael Richards book. Let's face the facts.

Hasn't read that, doesn't know anything about Michael Richards. I don't think he's read No Country for Old Ben. Joey. It literally says he is not converted to Judaism and neither of his parents are Jewish. I said it by myself. Joey, take the mic back. I want to ask you a question.

Clay, talk into the mic if you're going to talk, because then they can't hear you. Joey, I want to say this. OK. The other day I was at Ben's house. Yeah. And I was talking about, what was I talking about? Your boyfriend's cock.

OK. Fucking quack. I was talking about something who fucking knows. But Ben goes, he goes, oh, that's in the Polybores. He goes, chapter six, page 63. And then we open the book He actually sent me a picture when we left. It was the same page Exactly what I was talking about now. I thought oh wow Ben's really learned right he must read a lot of books

He remembers this Dude, it's a fucking scam did he he knew somehow he knew you're gonna say that and then he Here's what I think. I think Ben aligns his pages with like, like things that he could pull from conversation. That's so funny. And he goes, oh, there's Clay going on with that thing again.

And he goes, yeah, page 63. Ben has read four or five books in his life and he's become an expert at inserting them into every conversation. That's what he's gotten good at. I'm not allowed to speak literature with any of you because you all attacked me viciously. Meanwhile, I have to sit in and I feel like you guys talk

I've seen you guys talk about hip hop albums at Nazium. I have to sit here like, oh wow, yeah, really interesting. Two of those books are the Bible, by the way. By the way. Yeah. The whole car ride, Philistines this, Philistines Philistines that it was like dude get the fuck out of here You're the one who's kept bringing up Samson because he watched like Fargo season 5 or whatever. You don't like him up You don't like black writers. Oh

So you're saying Jesus was white interesting. I Love the I love the Nag Hammadi Savior was look like Edgar went you think because the Bible does say the Bible by Jesus if Jesus wasn't white I'll fucking kill myself Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit wrote the Bible the hand of God inspired it through the people that wrote it through Gnostic Gnosticism and Carl Jung and some and Carl and I'm about talking about Gnosticism right now. I'm talking about Christianity I'm talking about the truth. I'm talking about the Lord Jesus Christ

You're doing a Bobby fish your deep dive when I came out so I came out to defend myself What were you looking up because I felt you were saying something you were attacking me on something look I know Joey. I said he wasn't a Jew first of all I hope you can I hope you can you know it's cultural I'd love to set up an exorcism for you to stop being a Zionist by the way cuz I don't know what's possessed you all The sudden that you love Israel I would love to do some sort of abracadabra spell and you Joey doesn't know bits you vomit fucking green bile all over the Devil from me

I'm not going to be interested in you. I'm going to scare out the devil from me, the Jewish devil. What is this? Joey, I'm with you on this one. Bye, John. Oh, John fell into a cactus. He literally has cactus in his hands. He's fine. There's cactus in his hand.

John just fell right under a cactus. He fell. John, stay on the cactus. He fell right onto a little cactus. John, show your arm. There's cactus in John's arm. Are you okay? Are you okay?

Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay? There's Johnny's John's arm. That's your little blood Yeah, by the way Joey doesn't know bits We do have to we do have to check if his balls were on camera What a what a wonderful night. Oh my god. Devin's so worried. By the way, John just proved. That was a huge cactus right there. Wait, you had to throw that cactus. That was crazy.

Anyway, I don't think Joe knows that. Devin, grab those things. I was about to destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism and a Jewish ghost knocked John over to disrupt the conversation. I was about to destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism and a Jewish ghost knocked John over to disrupt the conversation.

I was about to destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism. I was about to completely destroy the idea of Zionism and a Jewish ghost knocked John over to disrupt the conversation.

That's what happened. Unbelievable. Oh, fuck. Yeah, they're in your own body. Wait, don't pull it out. Take a picture. Take a picture of that. That's amazing.

That's crazy. John, put it in front of the camera. Why would you dive in front of the cactus? Show the pod. Let the pod have that. That's very good. Put it up to the camera, dude. I got it, I got it. Johnny, stand up and show that.

For the pod, guys. They're just watching. That's crazy! Johnny. That's crazy. Johnny, show that on the pod, right there. Hold on, we gotta pull these out. No, no, Johnny, show it first.

Dude. Can you show your arm to the camera, just so they know what happened? So, for anybody listening right now, John's arm Looks like hell raisers face It's like pinhead. Yeah pinhead. I've never seen hell raiser. I just I like making the reference John's ass dude John's ass is horrible. I thought it'd be better

My ass is poor. Dude, my mom had to put me in preemie diapers for like, the first time. Um. You should have put you. John said he was in preemie diapers. He was off mic. He said he was in preemie diapers most of his life. Because his ass was so shitty.

John, that's like, that's, yeah, you got fucked up by that cactus buddy. Well, he dove into it. You fell naked in a cactus wearing a towel. Fresh out of the shower. Happy 100 EPS, everybody. Yay! Let me look at it. I got another one. Happy 100 EPS everybody. Yay! Let me look at it.

John, did you use your steak? I did, it was delicious. It is funny, you stay in a gay guy's Airbnb and you end up getting poked with all sorts of stuff. John, I just want to say a lot of gay people fuck around out here and they fuck each other in the ass and they take all kinds of drugs. I would take Pratt after this because God knows who's chubbed that cactus up their asshole. John, that was like an inch into your arm. Jesus Christ. John, I thought you fell down these steps. I thought you were going to fall into the pool, like crack your head open.

What's Joey cooking? Oh, Joey's blowing the houseag. What's Joey cooking? Oh, Joey's blowing the house up. Joey's cooking something. Joey took over. Joey's getting the pan hot so he can sear John's arm for safety. Joey's calling in a bomb threat to the city council member of Joshua Tree.

He's so fat. Joey calzone. Fucking fatty. Does Joey do bits? I feel like Joey doesn't know bits. I feel like Joey's just Joey. Joey loves bits. What's your favorite bit?

Joey got him a wet towel. That's so nice. Thank you Joey for getting towels. Joey loves kibble and bits. That's the floor towel by the way. Hey, he's been attacking you while you went in and helped your friend. You guys recapped the attacks and I could defend myself one by one. Well Joey, my question is, I didn't know you like bits, Joey.

What does that mean? Bits are like funny little snips. So I don't get the bits. Why don't I get the bits? What's the idea? What's the attack? Explain the attacks, I'll get to defend myself. Joey's a walking bit, if anything. I didn't know Joey, it was a bit. Clay not realizing his attack makes no sense. Go ahead yours next. It's not a tad Joey if I may Joey if I'm like, oh my god, they brought you here to be a chef. I'm actually not funny whatsoever. Go ahead then Our chef has an attitude our chef has an attitude

Step into the frame by the way Joey. The thing can't stretch. Oh you can't. Devin Lee, let him sit. Sorry Devin has a big ego. By the way, that's the first time I've seen Joey talk shit. It was awesome. I was defending myself. I was badass.

I attacked you. I asked you what your favorite bit is. I think here's the thing. Here is actually a huge blind spot that you have, Joey. Is you, are you aware of the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar? It's a book I've been reading to my daughter at night, and in the book, the caterpillar becomes really, really fat, and then he goes into a cocoon, and he turns into a beautiful butterfly. Now you, my friend, you're a big, big fat caterpillar

who was very hungry, now you're full, and you're in a cocoon playing chess. It feels like a lot of projection so far. The story of somebody becoming very fat and then hopefully becoming something greater. It sounds like you're projecting, but go on. Well no, Joey. You're running a racist podcast,

you hope to become something good. Joey, I do. Someday, hopefully, go ahead. I do agree that not all tragic characters meet a tragic end, but you sir are not an anomaly. You sir will meet some wicked hand. You left Polyakanov or whatever his name is, need to stop talking because you sound obnoxious.

Are we talking about Zionism? What are we talking about? I'll defend Zionism right now. Joey, I just wanna say, you're playing chess a lot, you're not leaving your apartment, you're making chili, serial killers are trying to climb in your door and kill you and then you come here and you tell us how the World works my friend if I want to ask you how to make a three bean chili I'll knock on your door, but until that day comes How about you keep your yappers shot because you know the first thing about Israel John back me up here

He's completely out of his fucking mind I made I may play devil's advocate right now and defend Israel. Since when have you ever defended Israel? Thank you! I hate Israel, I hate Israel, I hate Israel, but because, Ben, Ben, because for the sake of debate and because you're such a learned man, I may defend with it. Well please don't use facts because I don't know of anything that's actually going on. I hate Israel. But I'm gonna defend it.

I just like to say funny things about Israel. Well let's go, let's fucking do it. What are your facts? Yeah, what are your facts? Oh, I happen to know I don't know what's going on Joey says Zionists and he hasn't he just says he's a Zionist It's like a guy. It's a guy that goes. I love the Dodgers you go Oh, what do you think of Otani this year? He goes who exactly? No, that's he doesn't know what's going on. He just like was wearing a Dodgers hat Who exactly doesn't know what's going on? He just like was wearing a Dodgers hat

Look you you practice you take little pieces of wood you put them in squares. It's very Regressive and I know you like to think it's like some you know a high brow intellectual activity Child's game, it's it's a toy for children. You know it what's odd is that I constantly say it's like the same thing as Angry Birds. It's just highly competitive. So I am not... I don't do that whatsoever. You kind of... that backfired. What was your other thing? This is the worst Zionism argument I've ever heard in my life.

What's the thing? Zionists... No, because see Zionists... this is what they do. Zionists are only... wait, what's going on over here? Guys, come on. What a mess! I'll argue something really quick. Episode 100, that's still the worst episode ever. Israel.

John's talking. Why do you say Israel like that? Yeah, why does he say it that way? Because he embedded himself, that's how they say it. That's how they say it. Everyone, they're surrounded by orcs, yes? Okay. What's your defense against that? Yeah, they're not orcs. What? They're not this one's against that I believe Muslims are a godless people

They're surrounded by orcs they get attacked by orcs and they you know what do you what do you want them to do? I don't know it seems to be two sides that don't really give a shit about me and like me at all and want me to die us foreign policy uh the about me and like me at all and want me to die. US foreign policy. Stop slapping me. I'm so proud of you right now. We're giving in 300 million here. Can I say something real quick though?

Zionists, what they do is they're always on the defense. They never actually say anything. They just have retorts to things other people say. They're very reactionary, which means that their core message is actually a complete load of horse shit And what they do is they just wait to be the victim and they wait to play the cards that they've been dealt I can't never on the fucking offense. Am I wrong John? No, you're not wrong at all. The problem am I wrong? Am I being unfair?

The reason the reason The reason Israel's kicking off right now, by the way the Muslims take the fucking rags off your head Yeah, no, they're they're they're sad people. The problem is stop. I went in Ralph's and there was a guy He had executioners hood on it scared the fuck out of me. Well, they need something a non-alcoholic beer They need something to wipe up take it off. He's like in child. Oh brother Muslims come pre bandaged Because they know what's coming to them from the Jews. The problem that Israel is facing right now is that... They come, they wear a bandage around their head. Gen Z does not give a shit about the Holocaust.

And that's why I think they're kicking off this fucking third Intifada right now. What about Gen A? What the fuck is Gen A? They're the skippity toilet generation. Oh, yeah, they literally don't know what the Holocaust is. They don't know what World War II is. They have no idea. So they're trying to all the Palestinians more for people forget about the Holocaust. That's what's happening. Whoa Retort wait, they're trying to what kill everybody

Are you tripping it by the way, how many how much did you take? I don't feel I don't feel much from it. I should have brought more. I should have brought more. But something's happening. By the way, I'm not defending. I would be a Zionist if they were better allies to us. If they were better allies to us, they'd be horrible allies. They don't give a shit.

They have their mouth under the spigot. They're lucky that Fawcett is still flowing. Because let me tell you what, as as that is that as soon as that Turns off they'll turn on America and white people so fucking fast Samsonite option. They'll nuke all of us I think I think Israel's constantly helping us the reason that you don't hear about it is because they're good. It's massage Yeah, they're always better on our freeway over passes. Save the world a million times over again We don't hear about it because they don't want you to hear about it the massage is that world a million times over again. We don't hear about it because they don't want you to hear about it.

The Masada's that times a million. This is trying to prove a negative. Did you guys just hear about how, no. Jews did 9-11. You're not woke. No, they didn't do 9-11. They knew about 9-11 and they didn't tell us. Chef's kiss.

Well, if they know, are they the only ones that knew about it? No, I think the Saudis knew about it too. There you go. Two groups of people that don't let the white man know what's going on We should have allied with Iran folks were having fun on YouTube. Don't kick us off Why have you done this for your 100th episode that you've been? No, this is terrible. I love your podcast. You guys are so funny when it's just you three Why would you ever do this for the 100?

You guys should have done a close personal intimate thing you guys most fun I've ever had in my life You already repeated the comment that I've only read four books, which is like a rumor They try to I swear to God I've read a lot of fat comments about you. No see this is what I felt that I They try to like down like it's so hard to read apparently and apparently if you read you're a genius according to these people Apparently I really haven't read that comment and been and I will and I will say

Ben thread like five or six books for us way low for us low and I promise you though But anyways, I fell into a cactus ten minutes ago John fell into a cat with and the thing I don't want to like produce the show. Do whatever. Go fucking... But end it. I swear to God. No, don't end it. You're not ending. I just want to hang out with my friend. You're having a watch it. Yeah, we are hanging out, Joey. What are we ending? We're going to put the mics down and have the same conversation.

We're going to be yelling about the Jews and Muslims and everything else. It's true. It's true. He makes a good point about that. We have four mics, so one of us is always... He's making a good point. Two of us. He's making a good point about our show. Well, okay. So we don't act different on the show. As soon as the mics turn on, it's the same thing.

We should be recording 24-7. It should be the Truman Show. It should be. Joe, you don't need to get all fucking... Because we should bomb the Japan. You don't need to get all defensive. Listen, you're a fucking dirty Zionist. Why would you say that?

What do you want? Joe's gonna ask how much power we got left now. Now, why do you gotta go and be a Zionist, Joe? Cause I love you so much, it's the one kinda, I caught you slippin' when it came to the Zionism thing and I wanna draw it outta you a little bit. You call him baby Netanyahu. Cause he's your baby.

He's brat. John just whispered into my ear, he goes, he goes, to defend yourself, call on the savageness of the Arabs. Which is a great point. Oh God, he's saying bring up how they rape hostages, they've raped infants. He also is holding a mic, which is the best thing. He could say all this.

You're putting the mic down It's like an Olympic sport over there. They rape infants and hostages You know yeah, come on guys. They're defending themselves Zionists treat fucking Palestinian babies like clay doves Doves They're both retards John's whole point there, but she says on hatewatch is that he wants them all to kill each other Yeah, anytime an Arab and a Jew are killing each other. I'm happy. It's like, you know, I love the I love the video Comes out of like snipers like just blow each other's heads off and stuff. It's so awesome

Yeah, they have like beefs on Twitter I love the Jews that are just like there's like a guy in the IDF who's just like drinking an ice-cold Coca-Cola Did you see that building and there's just a Palestinian sniper three feet away from him outside in the bushes Did you see the idea blew off their balls today with beepers? Wait, what's up? I love Johnny This is where I get very sanctimonious about the Palestinian people did you see the beeper thing I love what's the beeper thing? This is so funny. I can't believe what is this? Oh, they blow off like they blow off like 300 Balls like 9000 pages so they put c like plastic explosives. And they sold them to Israeli guys.

Exactly. So they know terrorists use pagers, so they're like, okay, let's manufacture pagers. No, they made that narrative. They said cell phones aren't safe, use pagers. So all the Hamas agents started using pagers, and the IDF started putting little bits of C4 in every pager. They sold the Palestine and just blew off like 9,000 Hamas agents balls today. That is fucking brilliant. It's like Animaniac shit. That's Bobby Fischer stuff.

That is Bobby Fischer stuff, even though he would hate them for that. No. It just goes to show. No, that's IDF being good. I'm a Zionist. They are everywhere. They are inside your phones.

Look at that. That's good. Think about it. It's also funny to see that. To see. It's IDF. I don't give a fuck. It's also funny to see that. Think about it. I don't give a fuck.

It's also funny to see Arab people finally hurt by beepers is a pretty funny bet. Yeah. Like just guys in Glendale are so nervous right now. Boost mobile. Yeah, they're like, oh my God. Oh my God. I can't even go to a pay phone now. I can't check.

They're like, honey, please hold my beeper today. I have to go to work. Make sure it's charged. Make sure it's okay. If I get an iPhone call, mail me a, make sure, just make, it's charged. Make sure it's okay. If I get any phone call mail me a letter. They can't put the bomb in there. How big of a retard do you have to be?

It's called a beeper. Stay the hell away from it. You are on fire over there. It beeps. I don't have anything that beeps. You're goddamn right I'm on that bed and that's why we are lemon spodium. They have to. They've waited 99 episodes for that.

Light one of those off. Don't light one of those, Clay. I don't want that on video. Oh. Clay wants to light the M80s, you said? I think. I bet he'll really think that's fine. They're M-somethings. One will be fine. There's literally people right there. It's episode 100. We're not even supposed to be loud like after 10.

It's episode 100. That's a fucking, what a better way to end it. After all this nonsense, all this bickering, John fighting Clay, me fighting you, Clay fighting John. Yeah, but we're only two and a half hours in right now. Huh? We're only two and a half hours in right now.

Too animorphic. How long do you wanna go? Oh, we're gonna keep going. We're doing the 100th episode. in right now. Huh? We're only two and a half hours in right now. Too animorphic. How long do you wanna go? Oh, we're gonna keep going. We're doing the 100th episode. How about we take a break though? Rogan, you're a what? We have to. Go take a break, come back.

Joey, at three hours, I gotta put a new card in. So we're gonna stop it and start it. And then that might be a Patreon. What are we at now, two and a half? 240. 240. So then we can blow stuff up and set the desert on fire. No, but I really don't know if we should blow up fireworks. I mean, I don't know if we should do that.

Actually, that is okay out here. No, but we can, hold on, hold on, but we can blow up kids, huh? Okay, babe? Very good. Okay, babe? Hey, maybe if the idea. Okay babe? Very good. Okay babe? Very good. Hey baby if the idea is how to have the idea.

I love you just saying the line and then going. Just chugging it. Take it. Get out of here. I'm done. I'm done with my jokes. Back to my cigarette. Back to my ninth cigarette.

And as you see Joey has successfully skated by the issue of having to defend Zionism. Joey I want to applaud you as usual, you're the great evader. You never have to answer for yourself and you just sort of go, when you get caught in the act of anything Joey you just go, what? I've challenged Joey. Makes a good point about you evading. Okay Ben, you evade.

You act like you're always on the assault and you have a one-two punch, but you actually just have a barrel roll. You're constantly just rolling out of the way of attacks on you. Well, grow me on the point that you had that I'm evading. You're a coward. You're always on the defense. And that's why you're a Zionist. Well, I...

Whoa. He makes a good point about you being a coward. That's so mean, that's so rude, and that's so out of balance. Why did you become a Zionist in the first place? Let's get to the foundation of this argument. Yeah, I think it was when they started spit-roasting infants out there. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, they started cutting off women's tits and shit. Yeah. Yeah that bothered me a bit that what's wrong with that Rub me the wrong way. I guess Ben Okay, what was I evading nail me on the point and I'll try to defend it and then we can try to buy time until

Midnight and then we're launching or not midnight until three hours. They were doing fireworks The only thing is we have a guy right there. Oh God. And then they said something about after 10 p.m., like if there's like loud noise. Yeah, they said we couldn't yell about Jews after 10 p.m. They're like, oh, there's like a, is it a racist podcast? Okay, you have to stop at 10.

Two anapomorphic prep pills are gonna knock on the front door. They're like, is John Knauf gonna be there? And they're like, hey guys. And they're going, Howdy y'all! Listen, you guys gotta keep it down! Who are the big cartoon pills that help gay people not get AIDS y'all? Hey listen, homosexuality is natural but if we have sex, it will kill us!

Hate to be a body pooper but John can't be showing his asshole! John can't be showing his ass because it makes me want to fuck it and give him AIDS! Because I'm a big cartoon prep pill, y'all. No, it's our fault because we fucked monkeys. Not true, not true. No, that one's true, actually. That one is very true. That's the only one that's true.

He meant everything he said. You're my lawyer in court. You go, you ought to, he meant that bit. That was a good, that bit he meant. I'm fucked fucked up dude. I do love us doing like our little sopranos podcasting like just stakes and talking about the young about the Jews. You guys all want to tap out but I'm going to keep you going. I'm ready to do this till six in the morning and then I'm leaving on my hog. I'm on a gay guy's dick that you call your hog.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. You're gay. John gets on a big cartoon dick and goes, rrrr, like he kicks the ball. And it starts coming, and that's what projects me into the road. I'm shifting into second gear, and then the balls start running,

like a Flintstones car. There's actually a man. It's just it's just a Buck Angel. I ride on all fours and I get on top of him. And I ride him home. But he's the buff guy with the pussy, right? Yeah, yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hairy pussy. Ben, also before you- I like you guys. Hey! I like you too, bud. What's your name?

Those oysters have game name to me. You're funny. You guys are a funny bunch. I'm bleeding all over this fucking towel, dude. We need Neos porn, by the way. This is the title of the episode, Funny Bunches of Goats. Yes.

Because we're the greatest of all times. Oh, I see, I see. You're right, we should never stop recording. Give it to him, maybe we'll find another girl. Because we're the greatest of all times There's literally no reason there's no reason to turn it off cuz we're just going to keep doing this okay, but okay for to keep going exhausting the people Like we will take a break and do a Patreon for sure though, but we're promising these people many hours of content tonight. Okay, sure, so since we're like, you know,

we have to fill up. And we might move it to the hot tub for the page. I think that's a good idea. I'll get back in there, but I'm a butt naked dude. You're gonna drown in that hot tub. Yeah, it's gonna be gnarly. What did you say, Devan? A fire.

A fire, Devan said. We got the fire going over there. Oh, yeah, with the disco bar. By the way, is that even a hazard to leave that going? It's fine. It's got a timer. What's going to burn down? I don't know.

They're Sibian. I don't want to. It's Ben's Airbnb. Yeah, the gay guys Sibian for their pussies. Joey, I believe you're a man with high anxiety. I believe you live in fear. And there's some sort of connection here between your being a fraud and your love of Zionism.

Sorry. Can I speak for you as your attorney? I laughed over your sentence. Can I speak for you as your attorney? This is what happened. Joey was a Zionist five years ago He wasn't a Zionist anymore years ago right now and then he realized Sorry, no bed review is a John fighting your

exit For God's sake you're fucking hijacking the 100th episode. You psycho pal. That's what it is. You gotta be cool, man. You fat naked prick. You fat naked prick. You goofed up.

Okay, Ben, I'm sorry. You're so silly. Can we all love one another? I love John. He's being a fat naked prick. Who's the great Rodney Keene? Can we all get along? What the hell?

Two hours after we do the podcast, you throw a knife and you go, go, go fight! Get him! No, listen, tonight ends with death. But until then... You're gonna wake up in the cube, unfortunately. He goes, I love you guys, but you... It's all been an experiment. The Cube of Pain.

Whoever was the worst on the podcast is in the cube. You'll have to... There's a riddle, a mathematical way to escape the cube, sure. Sure, and if you do escape it, we will shoot you in the head on exiting the cube. There is no way to escape it. Even if you do. What? Nevermind, it's fine I'm drunk.

Hang on guys, I gotta get out of this. You guys can keep going as long as you want. So I was evading some sort of point. Well this is what you do. Well I think you're a fat coward but you said I was a fat coward. You never have to answer for your crimes and then you become the victim, much like the people that you love so much.

Okay. Whoa! Very good, gone. Basically what I'm saying is Joey, I love you so much. You're probably the funniest person I've ever known or met. Warm me up for an attack, go ahead. I'm not falling for that. Well, I like to heat up the butter

before I slice a knife through it. Well, I like to heat up the butter for a slice of knife Yeah, okay And you got a lot of butter on you pal, okay That's who make your point that's no Joey you would agree Lay it on, Fatso. Make your point, Fatso. No, Joey, you would agree. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe he he he has a dark cloud over you. I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh,

I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh, I was just saying that, uh,

I was just saying that, uh, I was Israel. OK, then go back to where you're saying. I was just saying that. Um, see, I thought Joey spending a great amount of time alone, especially after social interactions, was just him having anxiety about being around people and to be around people, it seems you have to be completely fucking hammered out of your mind. So I assume there was a social anxiety at play there. I see Devon and Connor and John almost every single day.

It was not a necessary attack. See, he's doing these ad hominems. Keep attacking him. His character. Attack the point, attack the point. I'm getting to it. You're good, Devon. Does that light look like Satan to anybody else? Are high? Oh, it's kicking in a little bit

I'm starting to feel a lot more than you okay. I can't even say about any big Look at John's John's are huge John's are waiting This is beautiful. I love you so much. This is great. I love you, Ben. This is awesome. I love everybody here right now. I love the listeners at home. Ha ha ha ha! This is gonna be great because this is the first time you're gonna see Devin not being mean on the show.

Oh, God, you guys! It's so rude. Everyone's being so rude. Don't make false accusations about someone for fun banter. You guys keep calling each other fat I mean no one's really that fat I'm sorry. I'm Joey's fat Well, Joey's big John you're fat as shit. Yeah

That's why that cactus went really deep and it didn't affect you at all. That's insane. It's crazy. It's just layers and layers. I'm bleeding everywhere. No, that's OK. That's OK.

You need that on purpose. That's desert armor. Look how many times I was. That cactus is dead. Look how many times I was penetrated. Look at my hand. It penetrated me so many times. Well.

Your boyfriend said the same thing. Last time I was in Palm Springs, you know what I mean? It's also very funny to get stabbed in your snake tattoo is very funny. It's pretty sick, actually. Yeah. Dude, so many people are actually not in his toe. Why are you looking at me like that?

I have to find my vape. By the way, Ben, I'm going to come right back. Joey, can you give me a little bit of Buffalo Trace? Yeah, yeah. But Ben, don't forget, like, I have to defend myself and then we have to end this thing. I'm gonna give my faith. He wants to end it.

Joey's trying to end the show he's not on. He does this on Haywatch all the time and then he goes, I can do five hours. He's trying to end. Oh, Joey hates podcasting. He's trying to end them. Joey hates that he does this. The time we're in the jacuzzi I was like we should go over there and like Joe's like I just think it's kind of like

It was good no, but look at him he's on fire look at him go look at him run through that Like that looks like when they a reality show where they go you have 30 seconds You're not get up from the grocery store. It's got me too high Joey got that thank you buddy Thank you, but he just buys vodka It's a cart full of vodka and you fail to jowl you have 60 seconds to buy every grocery that you can grab He's throwing Cheetos in a car and you sprint out of the store He's running by seals out just with his arm out pouring all of them in yeah Especially that you can grab. You're just throwing Cheetos at a car and you sprint out of the store.

He's running past the old Al just with his arm out, pouring all of them in. Yeah, they're hitting the cart and exploding. He's going, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. Joey, I'll drop the act. I just wanted to make some fun sort of. But I love you. I love that you're a Zionist too. And I think we can all say, I don't really give a shit, to be honest. I just think it's be one. You think I should? I think that would do. You don't have to be. No, that would do Ironman numbers. If you were a Zionist, you would get like a lot of guys funding you. Oh, interesting. Great for the podcast.

Nick Kroll will probably message you. Yeah, some of that Nick Kroll. The thing is, I don't like a lot of like Jewish artists. I don't dark side of the moon. I like Larry David. But other than that, I don't like a lot like I don't like like Philip Roth. And I don't like I don't really like Woody Allen that much So I honest with you. Oh, because he is a pedophile thing No, I just don't really give a shit about a lot of his movies to be honest with you

I don't really I don't yeah, I don't think it's like the comedy go is Woody Allen I've seen the movies and they're good, but I don't think it's I don't know I think They're hard. They're hard to get into, I will say that. I will say that. And also, have you ever thought the wind is like whispering to you? Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Good job, you gotta go. Devin is gonna remember you got molested as a kid alive on pod. Look at your face. It's gonna get really dark and silent and piss yourself. Hey Devin, take us through a. Hold on, it's all coming to me. How are you feeling right now, Devin?

Well, what I'm remembering is my parents used to send me to a daycare, and all the kids used to beat me. Devin, you're remembering my memories. Oh, shit! Devin's astral projecting. You're astral projecting into my soul. Devin's like, holy shit, I was molested in Abilene, Texas by a big fucking priest. I shut the cowboy boot up my baby ass. My baby ass. but less than in Abilene, Texas. Why am I? I'm a big fucking priest.

I showed the cowboy boot up my baby ass. My baby ass. My baby ass. What were you about to ask me, Ben? By the way, we gotta finish what you're feeling because you look like a beautiful man right now. I feel really good right now. It's actually hitting me.

It took some time to digest. And I'm good right now. It's actually hitting me. It took some time to digest. And I'm feeling it now. And those oyster mushrooms are the light. And I didn't do too much. Well, you're vulnerable right now. I ate a lot, I drank a lot. Let people know how you feel about the show and about life and the world and yourself. Just feel free to sort of express yourself, buddy.

I like to think that Lemon Party and Hate Watch are a, they're a panic room for the world. That they're a scream room for people. You know, a lot of- That all love each other. That all love each other at the end of the day because you leave the scream room and you don't kill your family,

and you don't go do anything harmful to anybody, and you go, I got that out. Is that Safe Room? I got, Panic Room, what was the, wasn't there a movie with like Jodie Foster? You got it, Devin, don't second guess yourself, you're brilliant, keep going, baby. And, and I like, thank you, baby.

And I, and I like that. This orb of light between us, this is the chemistry. And I like to think that is beautiful. And I like to think that no matter what we do here, no matter how insane what we say, no matter how many times people go, I wish I could tell people about these podcasts to anybody I know, or I wish I could fucking promote this,

or it doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, it will seep through you and people will find out, regardless, because everyone needs a place. Everyone needs, everyone needs to let it out. Everyone needs to laugh, and everyone needs to cry, and everyone, yeah. I think you're saying every plug needs an outlet.

Every plug needs an outlet, that's, thank you for that. Danny, you think you're saying every plug needs an outlet. Every plug needs an outlet. That's, thank you for that. Daddy, you're really gonna steep quickly. And, and I'm starting to think that it's, listen, it's the Jews, man. It's. Yes! Woo hoo!

No. That's so good. No, but truly. Little cherry on top right there. I love everyone listening. And I love, I truly. Little cherry on top right there. I love everyone listening, and I love all you guys with all my heart, and I just, I feel that love emanating right now out of me. And I want people to know that

when we go at each other on the show, some of them think that me and you actually are fighting with each other, or that I was giving Joey a hard time, and that we don't just love each other unconditionally. Probably a few people listening think that I think that Ben is a big fat guy It's all a friend thing

Oh, we didn't explain to people why Connor's not here he killed himself he's dead Yeah, he tried to hang himself, but he lived because of that pencil neck. Only guy tried to hang himself with a shoestring. It's a, Connor cares so much about his body, but he's so... All anyone focuses on is his tiny little pencil neck. And now his pussy fucking nipples, which is crazy. Well, let's save that for Jack. Dude, Connor's suicide note's 10,000 pages long. He just can't stop telling the story of his life. Ah!

Oh, and he's like walking the line. It's Proustian. Yeah, yeah. No, Connor tried to do stand up in front of a Lemon Party crowd, and they tore him to bits. So he's dead now They ripped they ripped Adam like jackals. Oh joking aside Connors a great comic and he did very well Connors in Philadelphia. He's his dad is getting is is is getting like a lifetime achievement award from his like high school

for a for for for drinking and beating his children school for drinking and beating his children. The greatest dad in Philadelphia history. It's actually the wrestling hall of fame. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very cool. So you couldn't be here tonight. He didn't know, but he was in the woods hiking when we planned this whole thing. But I love him to death. I love everybody that I'm friends with with all my heart.

Mustard's make you pretty gay. Yeah, you get gay as hell. This is when he's drunk too. Nah, he always loves to kiss and touch. Yeah, he's a big hugger. Yeah. We love that about you, though. We love that about you.

You're a big cuddle bug. You're going to be squeezing your nipples on the Patreon episode. Thank you guys. One day, you know, one day, one day I won't be here. And everybody... Whoa, whoa! What are you saying, buddy? Well, I have some plans. And...

No, but if there is a day, God, everyone hopes they die before all their friends, right? So you could get that big... I know, I hope I live all of you. I want every single person to die before me I'm gonna be the last guy No, I'm not but I love everybody I love all you guys so much that I couldn't bear the day to say goodbye It's incredibly selfish He wants us to bear the pain of his death instead of us He wants us to bear the pain of his death instead of us. And I know.

So I'm saying. That's a good put, yeah. That is true. You're incredibly selfish. No, John, no. Once again, the mushrooms are making me understand, baby. And you're right about that as well. So I hope we all hold hands and pass away

into the sunset someday at the same time. And like the end of Toy Story. Next to each other. And we're doing a live podcast. But it's like the end of Toy Story 3. We're all traveling on like some weird treadmill toward an inferno and we all hold hands and Quentin Tarantino's crying for some reason watching it.

Yeah. Our microphones are hooked up to our heart monitors and the last beat, the mic just shuts off and the show up. Devin, you know what I love for you is finally you make it at like 55, like in the mainstream and you get to go on Club Random, and halfway through the episode you have a heart attack

and you die in that chair. And you live on, you live on through Club Random forever and ever. It's me coughing like, you're like a smug faggot. I'm like, I'm out. And he thinks, he goes, oh, are you doing an impression of Richard Dreyfuss when he was on the show?

Laying down in the chair like that. Oh, yeah, an impression of Richard Dreyfuss when he was on the show? Laying down in the chair like that. He's got a Dreyfuss posture, and then they just fucking lock the metal head on him, and they electrocute him. If you think that's the first guy who's died calling me a smug fag, you're sadly mistaken. Nah, I'm gonna fuck you, cause you're dead. I'm gonna paint you black and fuck you,

cause I love black horse. And I'll put a wig on you, and paint you black. And now you're my little girlfriend, I'm gonna put you in and fuck you cuz I love black and I'll put a wig on you and paint you black And now you're my little girlfriend. I'm gonna put you in a wheelchair like it's psycho and put you in the basement But anyway in Some in Conclusion summation. I love you. I love you all and I'm so happy to be a part of all of this with with all of you And this is the real this is the real club random right here. This is actually club random.

That's the facade that he has. Yeah, that's the better one, but we're the more random one. Have any part of your boyfriend's ass. Yeah. Very good. You guys were jerking each other off over here. Yeah, yeah, we're okay.

We're having a great time. We're okay. We were sucking each other off. You're playing an old game of grab ass. I just had to get back. I didn't know what to do in that situation. I got uncomfortable. No, obviously we all love each other.

Dude, you got to go right to his boyfriend. I got to his boyfriend. It's natural. We've learned that trick. He's a lovely boy. I love you guys. Love you too. I love you guys.

Hey, do I do a podcast with you too? Yeah. That's crazy. You got a podcast with you too? Yeah. That's crazy. You got a mouse in your fucking road. I have a mouse, but I set up traps today. I went to CVS this morning and I found traps and then I found out that the traps, they're really crazy and creepy.

The rat, the mice, the mouse, the mouse, it's a mouse, it's one mouse. It's a little mouse. He eats, he eats the mouse. It eats poison and then it's one mouse. It's a little mouse. He eats, he eats the mouse! It eats poison and then it goes and dies. Ha ha ha ha! It eats poison and then it dies. And I thought it, no I didn't like that

because I thought I could hear it's next snap at night. Devin is such a weirdo. You were, you had anxiety about that. You didn't want to hear anything. No I know, I'm kidding. You just wanted to be gone. Yeah, but I don't want it to like just go away, and then like it like eats it and goes Oh, what a great meal and then one and then like ten hours later

You think it's like in front of its family or something Dude this house is fucking great guys. I'm gonna bring you in there. Honey, I swear to God, like it's wide open in there. He's a retard, he just keeps watching the Sopranos documentary. Finally, our luck's gonna change, honey. Our luck is gonna change. This place is wide open, and then in the midst of that,

he's just like, oh my God! And his stomach explodes like aliens. Yeah, it's like Fievel's dad, yeah. Yeah, I don't think that for a mouse. A mouse dying on the floor like Chris Farley at the end in front of its family because I read online I go what are these traps do and they go they go back to their nest and they they they die And I go oh no, I wanted I wanted to snap its never been a reviewer. Okay, quite nice. No They kept yelling retard very loudly through a podcast.

I think a lot of N word stuff. Faggot. Retard stuff. I think so. Very cool neighborhood. But I think a racist podcast was happening in the basement. And then I think I believe this is the mouse leaving the mouse. Yeah, because I think they left a little trap that killed me. Snap my spine when one little trap

By the way speaking of Airbnbs we should burn this motherfucker to the ground we are These fireworks off inside We're actually Yeah, of course buddy, of course, you need to walk out into the desert real quick. You know who does the intermic is fucking Fat John, who hasn't said one word in like 30 minutes. I've been talking.

John always panics around, let's get into this real quick. John always panics around Ben and Jace. Because he doesn't think of himself on the same level John always panics around Ben and Jace. At all! No, it's gotten a lot better recently. Think of himself on the same level and he is on the same level and he's a brilliant, hilarious person. Could you blame me? I'm homeless. I live in an office. Well, that's your decision-making. Yeah, but he's a fat conspiracy theorist.

He has an apartment. I walked by earlier, like, he- John sounded like he was doing okay over here. I'm killing it on this part. No, earlier. Like, I don't know. Not now. This isn't my forte when you guys go back and forth about mice.

Anyways, Ben, by the way, you were, oh, let me defend myself before we end it. We're approaching three, we must be close to three hours. And by the way, then we need to go right into the Patreon because we can't really take a break because then no one will want to do it. I'm gonna I'm gonna No, actually like I'm I think everybody would like a little break right? Chase would you I'm doing great over here, buddy We're fine fucking

Chase yeah animal Yeah, big damn horse I know I know I'm just praying for the camera to just get out. Everyone wants a break, I know that. Joey's doing this thing where he goes, what do we come out here to record a fucking podcast? No, it's like, listen, you guys did. I came in here to support my friends and hang out and have fun. We brought we brought everybody because we want you to be a part of it. So this is it. OK, but listen.

It's a celebration of you guys as well. Absolutely. OK, listen. But we're running amok. And we wanted to celebrate how close you guys are to Edmund Party without just being as good. We've gone too far. We've gone way too far. We're running amok. I'm trying to.

We attack! Attack! I'm not attacking. I'm just saying, we are running absolutely amok. We have to take a little break. The inmates are running the asylum. Let's all take a 20 minute break. 20 minutes, Chase?

Play chess? You have a couple Guinnesses. Play chess, Chase. I've had six Guinnesses already. But, Jay, that's light work, brother. Not for me, buddy. I got a steak on top of that. Hey, Dev, buddy.

You can do it. In your Alice in Wonderland world you're in, will you be able to do a page? Of course. No, I didn't. Beautiful. I didn't do that much, of course. Oh, beautiful. I'm so into this. Kidding me? Just give me five to seven hours pitch? Of course. No, I didn't do that much. Of course, I'm so into this. Kidding me?

Just give me five to seven hours. I love this. No, I'm in, I'm totally in. You know what's my favorite thing about you is as long as you're just able to talk shit, you're good. You're like a true American in that way. You're like, as long as I have a microphone and I can just talk shit, then I'm like good.

That's your Maslow's hierarchy as one triangle and it just says that. Yeah, this whole thing with with pot like anyone Podcasting getting like legitimately like kind of tired like obviously I like I'll get like tired or an episode But like then you get like another wind or comets will take months off like they they work in the mines or something I fall asleep half the time and I wish I had a friend in a sleeping bag next to my bed And we were talking sleep you remember those days., sure. Remember the funniest shit you ever fucking said Of course.

With your friend was as you're falling asleep at 4 a.m. So I could do this for the rest of my life. Jayce, thoughts? I think you're completely right, buddy. It's a very easy job. I'm actually just impressed going this long that Rogan does this every day and doesn't say a single thing that's funny.

It's kind of amazing. Yeah. What, think about how long we've gone. Dude, you know what it is. every day and it doesn't say a single thing that's funny. It's kind of amazing. The thing about how long we've gone. Dude, you know what it is? And you do that every day. It's like you have a hundred at bats and you don't hit one ball. No, you don't even swing.

You don't even swing. You don't even swing. You strike out on three pitches looking and you go, man, what a great home run I hit. And you round the bases. Everybody's like, no, you struck out. And you're like, no, I ruined the thing I love. I'm really bad at it.

I think they just get, he got cozy. He's like, wait a minute, I don't have to actually, I don't actually have to think about being funny. I can just sit here and have like a guy, a scientist come on and talk about how keto is beneficial. Yeah. And I can still make a hundred billion dollars. He's like five hours about how plants are poison. We had a hundred million dollars. That's why pots like this, guys, like little, little, you know, little

little tiny insignificant, nothing pods. Guys that still care about it. It's like a boxer who's still hungry. The juice is worth it. Because we all have C.T. We're dying. Stop listening to these big phonies and support Lemon Party. Harder episodes, support Lemon Party

you fucking cocks. I guess this is one of our most expensive episodes to date to we were really Really pulling out all the stops here We got I love that we finally got Joey and John on here and also clay who's such a treasure This has been this is a wonderful night. We're gonna do an amazing patreon here in about 20 minutes We're gonna take a break right now. The recorders about the end Joey there you go, buddy. Joey made me laugh very hard as always John

Thank you for taking a lot of shots on the chin on the show By the way, I'm sorry to interrupt sorry so much But I have says cuz you attack me. I'll finish your arguments on the patreon How I evade, you know, you know I mean how I evade you know you know So anyways go back to your big plug my employee my my phone blows up in my pocket My beeper blows up let me trigger my beeper explosion on you Jase I love you. You're my brother. Oh, I'm so glad I get to do this with you Mm-hmm. I'm so glad I get to do this all the that we should do this a lot more often having your beautiful man

Clay, I love you. Love you too, buddy patreon.com lemon party For I guess like 105 bonus episodes now We did a lemon party golf episode that we shot like a couple weeks ago after the Orioles game and we threw that up oh John is your cock is your cock naked under the towel yeah I'm fucking butt assed he might have showed cock when he fell into the cactus

yeah you gotta check that shit out my balls and cock my little ass cock I would love if the reddit was hit with John's cock like he's Lindsay Lohan in 05. My balls and cock might have been out. They put a little star over your balls and cock. It's an upskirt. It's a John Knopf upskirt. I'm selling Knopf upskirt pics over here. Please check that.

I don't mind that my little balls and cock are on the internet, but like... John has a micropenis. I had a hypospadiac a move from Patreon or anything. I had a hypospadiac and a micro penis. What? Yeah. I had a four o'clock and a micro penis. You have the three dick holes?

You have Hitler's penis. And a micro penis. Wow. God damn. And you're a Holocaust denier. I'm answering Hitler's life. You're like, can't Larry Pena believe in what he did? Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha! John, you kick ass. I guess you're a walking cartoon character. You're like a bit silly, like a big rat smoking a cigar. It's a bit silly. Also, this is like literally check if my balls have been like visible this entire time. Also, what if we check your balls? There's just spikes sticking out

Western European it's red anyway guys that the recordings about to end But that's been the episode hop over on the patreon if you want to see more fun Devin is about to descend into the other realm the we got the pool going might move over to the hot tub John's naked get your cocks ready. I know you've probably, Jack, you probably look like Randy from South Park when he's splooged all over the room at this point. This is so long.

They've come four times by this point. Maybe we'll do something. We'll see. Oh, by the way, can we do a Matty Rat shout out? Well, I was talking about Matty Rat looking like Randy from South Park, just because John's been shirtless this whole time at this point. They just come everywhere. But yeah, sure, shout them out. Well, I was talking about Matty Rat looking like Randy from South Park, just because John's been shirtless this whole time at this point. They just come everywhere.

But yeah, sure, shout him out. Go ahead, Joey. You did just say, though? You already did? He already shouted him out. I said a few write-a-ters, but I meant Matty. Okay, we have to say, yo, Matty Rat. Uh.

You're. You were going out on the highest note. That was a Matty Rat trivia. You're so unique and I'm so thankful that somebody, I've read a million, I've been on the internet since I was 14 years old. He's the guy who comments on the YouTube. The gayest man of all time. Yeah.

He's a Palestinian paleontologist. Oh, that's why you're a Zionist now. I'm not new to internet comments, Matty Rat. I've seen everything. I've seen every troll, I've seen every... I was talking to him 20 minutes ago. He's a great guy. You're unique in a way that I've never seen before.

And I love you, and you're... Actually, I think John would like to... I wanna fuck you, Maddie. So please come to America. I will buy you every drink and buy you a bunch of food. All those poppers you need, dude. John will have sex with you. And thank you for being so weird and I don't know why.

Shame on us. Real quick shout out to Josh, he got hit by a motorcycle recently. No shame on us. I'm done with the shame, dude. That's the only thing I'm gonna be aggro for about for real. No more shame, only love and positivity. We fake it until we make it around here.

We only create a light of love that burns through every dark cloud in the universe and extends all the way to the end of fucking time, strawberry field style, my friend. Insulaf, insulaf. I'm gonna take that, I'm gonna use that for myself. I meant shame on me for doing this on your podcast Because of like doing the manny rats whole gay sex fetish stuff that he will check

But that's like I love that. That's actually quite beautiful. I love that All right, all right. Bye everybody. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with an accident girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina, Wicked and evil while casting a spell. My love was deep for this Mexican mate, I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while young Calmore came in Wild as the West Texas wind