lemonparty - 105: SNL Pizza Party

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

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Guys, me and Connor McNaught are actively looking for a venue to do a monthly or biweekly standup show in Los Angeles. We have another one at a venue we're testing out November 2nd at 730. That's this Saturday coming out. The ticket link will be in the description of this episode or you can just go to the link tree on my Twitter or Instagram or whatever and get tickets that way. The event is B-Way OB. See you there. You like my outfit? Don't even make the deal. I thought you said you had some girl on the light beam.

Always in my face, talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of me. You should get better headphones. I don't like the over-the-ear ones. You should get better. Because I have to be more mobile. Because my position on the podcast is a little bit more athletic.

Yeah, you're the point guard. Yeah. I feel like I'm, you know, I'm coming down the court, I gotta have the mobility to kinda do, I'm like, oh, we're looking at a new guy, and I'm like, now I'm typing. I go, oh, the headphones, oh, I'm like, ah, that's so heavy, ah. You're the Steve Nash of racism.

And we're the Robert Ori, checking him directly into a score stable, ruining the Sun's only chance at a finals appearance. I think we're rolling. Are we? Yeah. Yeah, that can all make the cut, right? I think that can make the cut.

They like sports references. We're about to watch a Dodger game three, so. I bleed blue. Devan's a lifelong Dodger fan. I started watching this team about a month ago and I said to myself, I love this team. And I, you know what? And I found out they played down the street

from where I live. It's also so funny, you grew up a mile from Dodger Stadium. They've been to three World Series in eight years and you're like, they finally earned it. Well, I watched it in in 2018 because Kobe was there. Right. And I like Puig. I like him.

Puig was fun. I did like him. I know. I'm sad they traded him. Yeah, he was a monster. But not that bad. No, they would cut. I remember the broadcasters.

It would be like Puig would slide in, head first into third base, and wag his big tongue. Yeah. And then Scott would be like, look at that freak of a man. Can you imagine what he'd do to your wives, ladies and gentlemen? So yeah, I loved Pauig and I loved when Kobe was there. And then in 2020, nothing mattered.

No LA win in 2020 really mattered to me. Yeah, it is a bit of a Mickey Mouse ring, unfortunately. And now we're back. All the big celebrities are at the, I love the mind control that's going on right around election season, because everybody's like, you know, everybody's putting the I voted.

Yeah. The obey sticker on their proud little. Are they doing it at the Dodger game? Well they're doing that, and then in the front row you got every big lib celebrity. Oh, Jason Bateman. Mm-hmm. Bateman?

They love showing Bateman. They love Bateman. He's a lib cuck. Is he? Yeah, he's very, he's like a gay, he's like a They love short Bateman. They love Bateman. He's a lip cuck. Is he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's very, he's like a gay, he's like a hermaphrodite. Oh, you're being rude to Bateman. No, he's a-

I like Bateman. Yeah, don't talk about it, but Game Night was a very funny movie. He has issues with his anima. He's a- I don't think he cares about politics. I think in another life, he'd be a mermaid of some kind. I don't know.

He's amphibious, he has a vagina. I don't trust him at all. I do love- I don't trust a guy's amphibious, he has a vagina. I don't trust him at all. I don't trust a guy who won't just have a McDonald's sometimes. No, he doesn't. He just eats an almond sometimes. And he's like, oh, that was bad. Jace told me in that documentary,

because he does a podcast with two other women. Will Arnett and the guy from Will and Grace. Smart list. Yeah. It's good. It's good. We can't be cynical about literally every single thing. The documentary was good. I watched the documentary.

They're having a good time. And I did like the podcast until I got too close to election. And now they just talk about bad shit. They saw it's terrible. It sucks. The podcast sucks. It's mind control. Everybody mind control. Open your eyes. Baseball is the oldest sport. It goes back to the times of the Egyptians with them running around in the ball and everything. This goes, playing with a heart. Yes.

This is way deeper than anyone could imagine right now. We're all under a spell. I encourage everybody to try and wake up. Well after this damn Nazi rally in New York last night. Who knows where we're headed. Actually I have no idea what's going on. Howell Hinchcliffe, everybody. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw Tony called the brown people brown or something. Yeah. They lynched David Lucas and stuff in front of everybody. It was a weird night. He wanted to. He was like, man, I'm a motherfucking dumb black guy. No, no, no.

It was a spotlight hand and he goes, lynch him. And he goes, oh, I'm a motherfuckin' dumb black guy. No, no, no, yeah. It was a spotlight hit him, he goes, he goes, lynch him! And he goes, oh, that's me, shit. I forgot. Hulk Hogan choked him out. Hulk Hogan came in with the big wooden cross and just whacked him across the face with it. Across on fire.

Yeah, no. It's a cage match because they just put him in a cage. Yeah, it's a cage match because they just put him in a cage Yeah, I don't know Tony Tony Hitchcliffe made a joke about Puerto Rico are we allowed to play the clip I imagine so He just did a bunch of like I wasn't killed Tony It was just a Trump rally right a bunch of like antiquated like fucking ragtime racist jokes Yeah, and claimed everybody's like a sensitive cook. Oh, it says Tony Hitchcliffe. You follow each other You followed by Tony right What if you're a media you're meeting like Tony's actually a silent killer

Ben's like oh my god, the most hated man in the country right now follows me Yeah, he followed us today. The day after. Why can't I get the damn Anthony follow, by the way? I've shown nothing but support for him through the darkest of nights. I don't know. By the way, I try to- And that is what he calls it. Well, I'm going to show you. This is how, because Anthony, Kamiya, and we'll try to stay focused here. We have a lot to get to you sound very weird to me my headphones I gotta say I don't know really I don't know if it's gonna be I'm yeah I'm just going on but you sound off. What do you mean?

Just like unfunny and bad at your job audio is crystal clear No, you sound like far away or something in my headphones But what are you gonna do? Jase, how do I sound in a? There you sound good. I think maybe you're just talking not into the mic for a second. Maybe that's it.

I don't know, it's just a little different. I don't mean to cause a big ruckus here. Yeah, you gotta hump that mic a little bit. Hold on, maybe I'm too low. I just don't, you know, I don't want people, I don't want us to go 45 minutes and then we realize that you sound off. Yeah, I mean, we got, you know, Bateman's listened to this.

Fucking Bateman. We should randomly cut the Bateman cheering on the podcast. You know what, oh shit, that's very loud. What the hell? I like, now the bed's like fucking with me now. I like that Bateman is. How's that, is that better?

Is that bad? I guess. God damn. I don't know, you sound like shit still. I think you actually sound worse. You sound bad now, yeah. You sound worse. Okay, so for the livestream,

I was fucking with my settings over here. You gotta stop with these settings. You gotta leave them on one setting for the rest of zeros across the board never change the game peak everything everything the same Testing check one sound that's good. That's great. Okay, that's right I adjusted the settings on one of my preamps here and I forgot to alter it I really should maybe do the over there headphones so I can make sure I'm always dialed in. But like I said, I have to be the athlete of the show. Sure. Yeah. You're the Magic Johnson of the, you're the Magic Johnson son of the podcast. Our daughter, excuse me. Famously from the Jackson five. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the Jackson five magic, magic Johnson,

Moses Malone. Yeah. Yeah. Jackson Michael Jackson great shooting guard Michael Jackson Have you guys watched any of the Anthony and Camille show lately? No. No, is it good? There is a scam Hold on. I'm gonna go to compound media. Have you just click on his latest show? this is like This is how much he's obsessed with with black people sure I figured I would put on the FM radio let's see what's going on in terrestrial rock radio telling black people to go home of what he's telling black people to just leave I did see that going viral saw the same one. Going viral recently.

Yeah, he's just like, just go home. Yeah. Go away. I can't, oh, maybe it was, I can't remember what it, fuck, maybe I have the wrong clip. The problem is there's so many channels that copy him. There is a scam going on with TV shows now. Hold on, let me, I do like his new look though.

He looks pretty good. With the glasses? Yeah, yeah, it's a good look I think. Yeah, yeah, he looks like he knows much more race statistics with the glasses. This was the, just watch the opening. Watch the opening thing. It's like a speed run to talking about black people

on a show. It's him slitting the throat of a black pilot. Well that's what's amazing. On Anthony's Twitter, by the way, he's just taking photos of the cockpit. Yeah. And a jeez. Elbow check. He's rushing the cockpit,

not because he's in like Al-Qaeda or something, or the Taliban. He's just checking to see if that black person's flying. And I still love Anthony, but it would be funny if he had a white pilot crash. It's crashed. It crashed twice. And he was the only. It crashed, he took off again.

Somehow, yeah. You know, we're actually, the plane's fine, so we're just gonna go for it. No, it'd actually be funny if they white pilot crash and then a big strong black man carried the plane to their destination. Yeah, and Anthony's jumping out of the plane. Now, Anthony brings a box cutter onto a plane

so he can cut up black guy sneakers as they walk paths. Watch out, watch how soon he starts talking about black people. Okay, so we're at, okay. Look at the excitement in his face, the joy. We're at 21 seconds. I don't know who this person is back here, but they're white.

That's David Duke. You have a side picture of David Duke. That's Mark Fuhrman. OK, we're going to start. We're at 21 seconds. OK, let's see. Here we go. There we are.

Hi, everybody. Oh, welcome's see. Yeah. Here we go. There we are. Hi everybody. I just, oh, welcome, welcome. I'm sitting here waiting for the show to start and it's like split second away from starting the music and I realize one of my lights weren't on. I'm looking at the picture going, looks a little darker than usual. Not dark, you know, in that way, but a little dark. Oh, God, Anthony.

There we go. And he's there. And he's arrived. I mean, his car goes insanely fast towards one destination. No, he's like how we design American muscle cars. They can't turn for a ship, but they can go so fast in a straight line. He's kind of like the Ricky Bobby

talking about black people. He looks at a light bulb going out as like an uprising. He goes, well, they've done it again. Unbelievable, it was like the Haitian slave rebellion. He goes, my light is out. You know, they went out, there's probably a black guy across the street charging his boom box, shorted my light bulb.

Yeah, I mean, at this point, it's like, does he sleep with all the lights on? Is he that racist? He refuses. He has a nightlight during the day, just in case. Yeah, he tweets so much, but maybe I can find him taking a picture of the people on the cockpit. He's just, he's like, he's shooting his turds,

like an AR-15 in his mansion. He's shooting his turds. Just firing away into his bathtub. Choking with his bare hands, you son of a bitch. Shooting his turds like an AR-15 in his mansion Choking with his bare hands you son of a bitch Unfortunately his Twitter account, you know, he just tweets so much about them that That's part of the reason I respect the ant so much Read his quote tweets like if you didn't read what he said, you'd think he was like really, like he loved laughing. It's all historical pictures. I gotta say, I did really love that one.

You're under a rush sugar. Now he just, he goes in the cockpit and he takes a picture of his pilot, which is I think a total violation of like their, oh did Steve Martin block him? Yeah, Steve Martin blocked him and he goes, oh well. No, that's not him, that's Unreal Blue. Oh, yeah, that's okay. Is that not Steve Martin? No, Yeah, Steve Martin. Blocked him and he goes, oh well. No, that's not him, that's Unreal Blue. Oh, yeah, that's okay.

Is that not Steve Martin? No, that's Steve Martin. Yeah, I think so. Of course his name is his bluegrass man, like anyone gives a shit about that. We like the jerk. Not your bluegrass. Do the jerk again.

No one cares about your fucking banjo playing. And yeah, it's usually, he shares more videos of, I mean, he thinks about monkeys more than Jane Goodall It's insane. Yeah Which Popeyes was this recorded at very highly uncomfortable? Anyway, I didn't want to just talk about Anthony we did want to get to Tony being racist. Yeah. Yeah, Tony Tony changed the course of American history. He might have changed how the elections gonna go down Yeah, it would be great if he was like,

you know, like a huge, he's in history books one day. Yeah. The Hinchcliffe Swing. It was bizarre. Oh, I actually found the photo. Cause it's actually, if that happened, like. It's just the setting to do that is bizarre, I think. That's all, you know?

Why are you at a political rally? I know, that's the thing is like, I get that they're jokes, but at a certain point you are like, well are you at a political rally? I know that's the thing is like I get like that they're jokes but like at a certain point you are like, well you are at the rally. It's pretty lame and corny to promote a politician regardless of a big Trump. Of who it is, yeah.

We make fun of all the celebrities for going to the Harris events. If Gaffigan is performing at a Harris event, you're like, well that's fucking gay and you're a pedophile probably. Yeah. You know? Yeah, I mean, I'm not.

Also, they didn't, they keep acting like this shows that it was a Nazi rally. The crowd wasn't loving the racial humor. No, they were like, keep it clean. They're like, you're putting us in this weird position. You guys are making very grand statements. Let's examine the footage. Okay, all right.

Let's stay bipartisan. Okay. Okay. Let's examine the footage. Okay, all right. Let's stay bipartisan. Okay. Okay. Let's pretend we don't know anything. Let's pretend we don't know enough to know that none of this matters at all. Sure, sure, sure. And that if you associate with these people, you're either a pedophile or a cannibal

or some sort of satanic mind control freak or some useless pawn in the game that they're all playing. And by the way, if you're falling for any of this hysteria right now, you're a huge loser. And the reason you're falling for it is because you have nothing going on in your life that matters at all. And if you're upset about it,

you might examine the fact that you're incredibly unlikable. No one really likes hanging out with you and this is all you have. If you didn't have your opinion, you would actually have nothing. Think about that for a second. If I took away your right to have an opinion, you would literally have nothing.

No one, no one to talk, no one would, you have to engage with strangers on the internet because no one talks to you within your own life. Think about that. Think about that for a second. Your opinion is just your brain's shit. Yes, yes, you log on to shit out of your ass. You shit your opinions out of your ass.

It's head shit. Your precious eggs, your precious brown eggs going in the online toilet. Are you presenting your head shit? Congrats. They start up here and then they come down and you shit them, it's little shits that come out of your fingers onto the keyboard,

and they get uploaded and they get flushed into the digital nothing. Congratulations. Hey everybody, we've got another fan ad here on the podcast. This is for Kimball Botanicals. They've sent us a lot of their supplements, their organic herbal supplements. It's pretty good stuff.

It's really good stuff, actually. They sent me a calm blend that's supposed to help you with anxiety. It has like Oshwagandha and other stuff in it. I took that, felt very calm. And they have an energy blend, a turmeric blend for achy joints. I took that and felt pretty good.

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kembelbotanicals.etsy.com, that's K-I-M-B-A-L-L-B-O-T-A-N-I-C-A-L-S.etsy.com and use the promo code LEMON20 to get 20% off your order. Thank you, Campbell Botanicals. So, let's now see what everybody's upset about. Sure. Let's say it. Put it on here. While being bipartisan.

Yes, of course. Yeah. Of course, and by the way, I did. We would never want to. I voted. Yes, we would never want to upset somebody who should kill themselves. By the way, people keep saying if I don't participate

in the whole political thing, that I'm like, that's like the Jew mind control is like, oh congratulations, Gollum, nothing matters. I'm like, I'm saying things actually matter that aren't this. You don't need to participate. I don't need to make this matter because everybody is saying it matters.

Voting's retarded. It's not a democracy, We've shifted from a democracy. It's never once been a tie. And it's never once been a tie, and then the whole country turns their heads and looks at me like, did you not vote? You could have decided it. You fucked up. You could have changed the whole world.

On the news, they're like, and of course, this person would have won if not for Devin Costa. If not for Devin, he didn't vote. This is the thing, everyone's retort is to- The only person in California who didn't vote. Their retort though is people go, oh, congratulations Devin, the guy who thinks nothing matters.

And you're like, I'm not saying that at all. You think, how did Kobe inspire you and the city? Like sports matters so much more. Oh, of course. The story arcs are much more incredible, much more interesting, they're more fair, it's more of a meritocracy. Legendary figures will do more for the regular citizen

than a politician. Just a guy hitting a golf ball. Will do more for you and the human spirit. Every, all bullshit will help you more than the real bullshit. Which is our god damn political system. And that's why they recruit the clowns to come in and to humanize them and make people really care.

Send in the crab walk. Send in the crab walk. Send in the Hanskin. Yeah, they're like, yeah, Casey Rocket has bombed so hard, Trump has withdrawn from the race. The fate of American history will always be different. Send in the crippled comics that everyone pretends are funny. Can I state another thing?

I saw somebody who did make me laugh where it was some comic goes, it's a hinchcliffe going like, now who likes it when Trump is racist, clap. This I wanna say because everyone goes, Tony didn't even write these jokes, true. But his writers also did not write these jokes. The internet wrote all of these jokes that they're doing.

Every joke I've seen these guys tell that are his writers, it was trending on like r slash funny memes the day prior. Also, how is that a defense? Like, ladies and gentlemen, this man is a hack. Yeah. Well, that is always what happens when really lame jokes get this amount of attention. We always have to go like, it's a joke,

and it's not even that good of one to begin with, but it's a joke. It's like, well, yeah, people are, it sucks. People are upset like it's a joke and it's not even that good of one to begin with It's the comedian thing of like when in the news so like this black person ate a whole white family and then black people Like well, I guess I have to defend this black guy as a comic. You're like, well, I guess I have to defend this terrible joke Or whatever. Yes. Yes. This is what, and by the way, me and Jace, we're floating above this shit. Devin is embracing his new identity of knowing what baseball is. It's not a new identity, Ben.

You're allowed to do this with baseball, by the way, especially when you've lived in a place your whole life. Okay, I can do this. I lived with Sean Green and Paul LaDuke. I remember the old days. I know you had no fucking, I know you had no team. I know you had nothing but a high school team. Devin, Devin, we had the Midland Rockhounds.

Double A baseball team. No, no, never speak yet, yeah, sure. I get to go in and out of it. I know, because you came from a fucking area where all these grown men, their happiness was decided on whether the children played well that day at the local high school. That's all we had.

I've had men getting paid millions my whole life and I'll choose when to decide to support. Yeah, Devon, it must have been very hard to succeed in a city you were born in. Must have been very hard to succeed being born here. You got a 20 year head start on me. I did it, I didn't succeed until you came into my life. I came, I came to LA.

Fuck you. I came to LA near 12 years ago on a horse like this. And now you have the nerve to mock me. Yeah. Meanwhile, look at the empire we've created. You mock me. Devin, we get ad deals sometimes. You're appropriating my Western ways.

Ben. The stoic nature of the West Texas retard that came from the lowly prairie. I was looking at the stars for 20 years up in the sky and that's where I downloaded the great myths and I brought them west with me. To you people where you can't even see the stars because of the noise pollution and the light pollution

and everything else. You can't hear nature, you can't see the stars. You're in a cocoon of bullshit out here. Meanwhile, you're allowing people like me to come in and show you how it's done. So why don't you sit back and relax, enjoy the baseball. Which is true Americana, by the way. Basketball is not Americana the way baseball is.

So it's fun. Because Mexicans like baseball the most, Devin. And what else do they like? Classic cars, they like diners, they love greasing their hair back. Dice. Mexicans know what the heart of America is. They really do.

I have fruit that serves you in your car. Lots of kids and big families. I've watched every Dodger game at a local bar for the last three weeks. And I started to, I go, well the pitch clock is helping, because now I can watch these games without, because inevitably every playoffs, I would always watch playoff baseball with the Dodger in it,

but every year I would be like, oh my god, it's only the fifth inning. I'd be there for like two and a half hours. It was brutal, yeah. Now it's finally moving at a perfect pace where I can talk shit and ignore the game, but then also come into the game and still be in the game.

It's a perfect timing now with the pitch clock, I believe. When you go to the game, it's a little quick. But watching on TV, it's perfect now. Much better. And I want to kill myself when I watch the Lakers. And so you have no idea the crisis I've been in. You don't like Brawny? You got Brawny.

And the Lakers look actually okay this year, but I don't wanna give it to him. Yeah, they're like 3-0 so far, right? Yeah, I hope. Has Brawny scored a point? No. No, yeah. No, no, I don't think he's scored yet.

He's not gonna play that much longer. I just wanna say that even though Kovia's gone, that I can relate to you, my friend, because Saviors, they may die, but they never go away. Yeah, but you've never had the biggest fraud in NBA history come to your team right after. I mean, it was just, it's just so sick. No, no, because Christ, think of it this way,

Christ used to play on the Heat. And then he came over to, because that was the Old Testament, he was like, no, that team sucks ass, actually I'm on the new team, everybody should be on this team. And that was like- Taking my talents to Nazareth. Thank, I'm on the new team. Everybody should be on this team. And that was like. Taking my talents to Nazareth.

Thank you, J.S. Very good. And on Golgotha, that was announced, that Jesus was traded from the Jews to the Christians. Yeah. How does that feel? And then they killed him for it because he won too many rings.

With the Christians. With the Christians. Then the old team he was on decided to kill him. Now do you understand religion from the perspective of a basketball fan? No, I hate this analogy. What if I told you Jesus was an African American man? What if I told you he looked like J Dilla?

Jesus Dilla. It makes sense that he died at 33. Yeah, they actually nailed his dialysis machine to a cross. Jesus was black, he died young. Yeah, killed by the popo, yeah. Killed by some Italian racists. Some gladiator leaning on his neck for eight minutes. Hey, what are you doing over there, Jesus?

Jesus, was there maybe some fentanyl in your system? What are you doing system you fucking mutt My Jewish boss said I should yeah You know there was one guy who looked like Tony soprano at the crucifixion being like well I mean fentanyl was in his body Can we even know that the crucifixion killed him? He's got fentanyl in his blood by the way new rule less talking about Tony soprano on the show more talking about Tony Hinchcliffe New rule there really is he's the master Tony.

They're really the same to me, yeah. Yeah, they're the same. A one of one. They're fucking mob bosses, they have goons. Yeah. Jesus Christ, Brian, it's a half a million dollar ad. You fucking fag. He's so mean to Red Bear.

So mean to Red Man. Unnecessarily so. Red Bear will rise up one day. Kill him. Yeah. These guys have such big fucking to Red Man. Unnecessarily so. Red Bear will rise up one day. Kill him. Yeah. These guys have such big fucking ugly egos. This makes perfect sense to me. Well, they gave a hungry wolf a chance.

They gave a hungry fucking wolf a chance. This does make, it makes sense that Tony's at the, this Trump thing, cause historically, closet homosexuals are Republicans. Yeah, so there you go. Oh, that's true, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They're gonna find Tony in a bathroom stall of a New Jersey

Thurnpike fucking, you know, bathroom. Yeah, him and Giuliani sucking off a guy. And I think David Lucas might be some sort of strange, like a feebophile. I think a gay a feebophile he might be. I saw him on that show with that little weird Russian kid at the plastic table. Matan. Matan. Matan, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we talked about those. Yeah, yeah, he was in there and then he kept, David Lucas kept hitting on him,

saying like, how old are you? Like, I'm gonna fuck you. He kept making him smell his ass juice and stuff. Disgusting. And then I'm starting to connect the dots here because Tony's the biggest fucking faggot I've ever seen in my life. And David Lucas is this right-hand man,

he's this Grimmer Worm Tongue or whatever the hell. So I think what's happening here is David Lucas is his right hand man, he's his Grimmer Worm Tongue or whatever the hell. So I think what's happening here is David Lucas might be blasting ropes on Tony's face. I think he might be blowing ropes all across Tony's face. Ripping down his shirt. What a funny image that looks like. It looks like one of the Wile E. Coyotes trying to catapult a boulder onto a cliff.

And then Brian Redband peeks his head and he's like, can I do it too? Yeah. No! Get out! Only me and David are allowed to be gay together. Brian goes, no. Olive Garden. Yeah.

And he just waddles out of the room. Tony reaches into a buck and he goes, all right, the retarded Chinese guy gets to fuck me. Give it up for the retarded Chinese guy, everybody. Okay. Let's see this joke that everybody is in a huff about This is the lib cucks are mad about this one sure all right, let's see Fuck hold on let me turn this shit up Fuck here we go. Let me start this over Apologies people my one-man band.

Think of me as Neil Young over here. I got the tambourine and everything else. It is absolutely wild times. It really, really is. And there's a lot going on. I don't know if you guys know this, but there's literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now.

Yeah. I think it's called Puerto Rico Okay, all right That's the dude that speaks for all like these like Trump supporters, but they all grow no they're all he's bombing at the Trump rally Yeah Yeah, wait everybody that's got 30 million views Why the fuck do people care about that? Because Puerto Rico, some Puerto Ricans are pretending to be upset by that. Nobody cares about Puerto Rico.

No. No one's ever cared about Puerto Rico. No one cares a shit about Puerto Rico. I think the only thing is the only state that's gonna matter, they say, is Pennsylvania, and apparently there's a lot of Puerto Ricans who probably will legally vote in Pennsylvania. That's what my sources tell me,

they're going to illegally vote, ladies and gentlemen. So there is a small chance if it's super close that Tony, if like just 40,000 Puerto Ricans vote for Harris that he actually could cost Trump the election, which is very, but it does also get to the fact that around election time we start talking about minorities like they're horses that we're racing. You get to turn into a race scientist around election time.

I will say. Well you know blacks that wear flip flops to take the trash out, they're voting for Harris at an overwhelmingly large rate. Yeah, you know Trump is notoriously anti-crack cocaine, so he might lose the black vote on that one. I think something good may come of this. Tony might be killed in the street by Puerto Rican people.

Sure. He might be cut with like a butterfly knife, like they come in with the, you know the beginning of A Place Beyond the Pines when he has the butterfly knife? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. They might do that to him. Yeah, a Bollies song.

Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's what they call it in like, I think Thailand or something. You're thinking of a Beyblade. Well, either one could kill Tony. You could Beyblade his neck. A bunch of nerds kill him. But yeah, no, Tony's the last thing he might hear

might be, hey man, hey man, will you say that shit? You thought that was funny, man? Now remind me, the only Puerto Rican person I've ever seen is the woman that has sex with the guy and do the right thing. She's Puerto Rican, right? Rosie Perez. That's the only Puerto Rican.

Isn't Cardi B Puerto Rican? I think she's a mix. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I just don't know much about these people. Jennifer Lopez, Puerto Rican. I think people just lump them in with black people, right? They just go Puerto Rican women.

They're just like New York. They just date black guys. just go Puerto Rican women, they're, they just date black guys. They're like a New York, they're just New York. Now who's, what's John Leguizamo? Probably Puerto Rican or Dominican, I mean, God, I don't know. Jewish. Just hit a fucking home run and shut the fuck up. Yeah, you tried to talk base,

but you're like John Leguizamo's been great this year. I don't know. We should do that at the bar. We should just start asking the waitress, have you seen John Leguizamo's hitting streak? A lot of Puerto Ricans are all like, okay with this. The people, the left, the demorats, fail to realize that the most racism comes from within these ethnic groups. That is true. It's coming from inside the house. And that is true, Devan.

He might lose the Puerto Rican vote, but gain the Honduran vote. Sure, exactly. Because they're like, yeah, finally. Yeah. Somebody says something about these. You're fucking, don't fucking bar a court. Fuck a damn.

I just like, I like the idea that Tony Hinchcliffe actually changes the presidency and everybody gets really mad at him So I want it to be true, but it's probably not gonna change anything Well, unfortunately Trump has been insanely boring on all these very boring podcasts, which who would have thought? Yeah, you would think a guy a guy like him, you know SNL makes people Logan didn't even understand his fucking Logan was was being like, what do you mean with that? Yeah Rowan was like a kept stepping on all his jokes

I know when he's trying to do the thing about Kamala laying on the floor. Yeah, he just kept stepping like wow Why would she be on the floor? Did she fall down did she fall down? What's going on? He's being so he's being outrageously funny and Rogan like can't He can't even yes and the fucking the number 45 or 44. What's his number? 4045 and 47. 45 and 47. And 47. Soon to be 47. I mean you think a guy is funny,

so what I'm saying is it's kind of like SNL where you know someone who's really, you have to be crazy funny to be on SNL because then you go on SNL and you're like only 5% as funny as you are in real life, right? Okay. Like, so I think that's the way, cause these shows are so insanely unfunny

that even Trump goes on and he's boring as shit. He can't even shine. I found out he did Flakrant 2 like two weeks ago, two, three weeks ago, did you know that? Yeah, yeah, he deported Akash. He was very. And he goes, it's not cause he's Indian, it's because he's pretending to be black.

I'm deporting his fake black ass. He was good on a flagrant too, I thought. Yeah, I think better than Rogan. Was it fascinating? Was it interesting? It was likable. Trump came off very likable. And I think Shultz does do some interesting stuff

where he'll be like, your daughter's got big titties And then Trump has to like talk about that and that's that's nice. You know he did that. That's not too bad He said something like that. I gotta say Andrew Schultz and the kosh they had the best political I thought they're the regular Woodward and Bernstein I thought they killed it you're gonna leave Theo Vaughn out of the conversation. He did very well as well Yeah, Trump Trump won a lot of possum votes when Theo did the interview. Theo did great, yeah. There's a lot of cicadas that will be voting for Trump now.

Didn't I know you two were flagrant fans? Oh, big. Big. New development here. No. I was more of a brilliant idiots guy, but ever since they let the other two skater guys start talking more, I've been a big flagrant fan. I love all these guys. They're all great

Everyone's great. My favorites probably like Charlamagne the god. Yeah, he's the best. He's probably my hero Yeah, Charlamagne the god I do like I do love how he is secretly gay I think that's very funny about him because I'm continuing to have a black-ass week this week. What's okay? What's what's happening? I on the way have a black ass week this week. What's going on? What's happening? On the way over here. I abandoned my child. Yes, I left my family. I've been listening to Lauryn Hill and.

Uh-huh. Sorry, sorry. Please continue. I'm sorry. I find myself now I say stuff like. Finn? I was on the phone with my accountant and I was like. Everything's everything, brother. Yeah, and I was like. Everything's everything, brother.

Yeah, and I was like, money, I say stuff now, like I went to Wells Fargo, because we got locked out of our account, and I was like, I said that, I was like, money, fuck the game up. And he goes, oh sir, get the fuck out of this bank. I didn't know you were black like that. But I think listening to Lauryn Hill,

it's the black wife effect for me, where I was like driving over here in the minivan I didn't know you were black like that. But I think listening to Lauryn Hill, it's the black wife effect for me, where I was like driving over here in the minivan and I just started like freestyling and shit to like J Dilla beats. Okay. And I have a midi board now, I'm like getting into, I have an Ableton Push 2 and I'm making a,

I have a beat that I made with my daughter, I think I maybe recorded it. Oh, like a Blue Live Aid situation. Wow. You've already got her on the track. Actually it's too simple of a beat that I made with my daughter. I think I made like a situation Wow, very actually it's too simple of a beat and I think I'll put it on an album So I don't want to leak it right now. That's sort of you know, I'm not kind of I'm not at that level yet Yeah, you're doing like only one to your daughter like Kanye. What's only one? You ever heard that song? The Paul McCartney Kanye song? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember that. Hello, Norrie, how you doin'? Yeah, but you're just talking about like a Big Mac. Now, you've been back on your bullshit lately. You were fat as shit this weekend. I've been eating clean the past few days. I haven't seen anyone eat that much Panda Express in my whole life.

Yeah, you were whale maxing for sure. Also, so during that time I started listening to Jelly Roll and I call it the Jelly Roll effect a little bit. Because you know what I kind of realized? Jelly Roll is basically the Rizzler for people who went to rehab. Yeah.

Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people just fucking love him. I kind of get it now. It's like the way I love the Rizzler. So when I went to rehab, Jelly Roll is their Rizzler. That's their, cause Jelly Roll every day

there's like a new article that he like cries cause he shit his pants or something. Yeah, yeah. He's like he was in the drive through of like Chick-fil-A and he shit himself. Yeah. And he just started crying on Instagram. But it's always some major event.

Yeah. It's always like Jelly Roll was at the CMT awards and he cried cause his penis fell off. He's like if Jimmy Kimmel was. Yeah, I lost there was too much blood loss his dick just fell off Yeah, he's like Jimmy. Jimmy Kimmel was crying every night about his own heart problems Yeah, what is he crying about have you looked into this he's just white knuckling Is really high cuz he's fat and shit and he's sucking his own tits all day

Him in action drinking his own he's a self-sustaining milk. He's trying to he's trying to suck the last bit of codeine out of his Own juices. Yeah, there's no strong No, no drug stronger than American fast food. I don't know if you realize that. Oh, I definitely realize that. Thank you for giving me the I don't know if you realize that though. I appreciate it. As I sit here with my baseball coach, Goatee,

that I'm desperately waiting to grow back. I was Ricky from Trailer Park Boys for Hall Weed, so this isn't a style choice or anything you should shave completely I think no, I don't I don't think I think it'd be a bad idea Why I think the fans would let you know why I think you should shave your head and your beard Like the judge from blood meridian. I just go around just like getting preachers killed. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that'd be a good look for you though You just want me to you want me to Walter White Max is what you want me to do Yeah, that Heisenberg maxing shaved head goatee and the glasses could be kind of badass actually

I would love you in wire frames. Yeah, the way you never wear wire frame glasses. Why is that? I think people know I feel like it's the same you went with the Andy Richter cuck lib glass Yeah, because I'm a cuck lib and I Know I feel like it's the same reason I don't wear overalls because I already look like somebody who kills children So if I throw either one of those on it's just not a great look. Yeah. Yeah, you know Yeah, you keep like body parts under one of those like heat lamps where the guys cutting the flame and you're on at the end of The buffet. Yeah, I'm doing that guy. I'm doing food porn with human hands where I'm's cutting the flamin' yawn at the end of the buffet. You're that guy. I'm doing food porn with human hands,

where I'm pouring the nacho cheese. People are like, all right, enough with the cheese. It was good before. You're a guy that you sacrifice children just because you're hungry. It's not some weird satanic religion. You're like, this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you, trust me.

I'm getting dragged out of quarter haircuts. I go, I'm not a pedophile, I was famished. I was peckish. I was peckish, and that boy had just eaten a lot of ice cream here. That's in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that guy was peckish. Yeah, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre,

but he's dancing with his chainsaw, and then he goes and he just cuts a nice piece off of like a rib roast. And a Lowry's. Yeah, a Lowry's. And uses the chainsaw to lightly place it on your plate before you walk away. I think Leatherface may be,

because I'm getting really into villains. Sure, like Jelly Roll. Well I think of, who was, like, Redbar has kind of a villainy kinda thing to him. Leatherface is one of my favorite villains, Anton Chigurh. Like some movies, the villain is way more interesting and way more cool and good for them.

Have you ever watched Hellraiser? I feel like you would love Pinhead. Oh, I gotta see Hellraiser. Yeah, Pinhead's a guy who he just loves. He jacks off to pain, which kind of kicks ass. That's awesome. I'm getting really into Dracula. I just ordered Brom Stoker's Dracula

because I'm excited about the Nosferatu movie coming out around Christmas. Yeah, the Eggers movie. And I'm trying to prep Devin to go see this Dracula movie with me and to get into vampires. I tried to prep him. I had him watch The Witch by Robert Eggers. The Witch, yeah.

He gave it, but he says I'm bad at watching movies. Devin was completely disrespectful. I watched the whole thing. You talked the whole time, Retard. No, you were completely disrespectful. You talked the entire movie. I was looking at the screen. Adam does not win at all. I watched it.

I was trying to hear, by the way, when you're fucking. I was exhausted. 42 degree house. For whatever reason, it's always fucking freezing in your home. Is that true? Yes, it's always fucking freezing. And your TV is like 100 yards away.

Very high TV as well, very high up. Every five seconds your goddamn baby is up. Well I was- Being cute. God forbid- She's more interesting than the witch. God forbid I try to get a little human interaction after being father of the year all week.

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And then my friend Devin's on the couch next to me. God forbid. I'm trying to watch the movie. I talk to you about something. I'm trying to watch the movie. I'm trying to talk to you about the movie. You're not even, I don't even think you've seen it. Everything you put on, you have zero understanding of,

you act like you've never even seen it before, yet you put it on. There was a major plot point in the movie, I go, I don't remember this at all. Yeah, I know, you say that every movie you put on that you go, you gotta watch this. You go, I don't remember this. You're watching No Country, you're like, what, she dies?

What? I don't remember that at all. What the hell? That's what's great, I can always re-watch movies and re-read books because I don't remember them. Yeah, you're watching a no-catch film and you're like, oh, I thought that I was watching Grumpy Old Men. Which I tried to re-watch, by the way, the other day. Does it not hold up?

No, it's not very good. But the ladies' tits are nice. No. Anne Bancroft? I think so. I can't remember. No, no, no. I mean, she's in her 50s, but to them, she's a young vixen. and Bancroft I Think so I can't remember no 50s but to them she's a young vixen. Yeah, it's Margaret the ladies in bye-bye birdie

Now the red hair now grumper your old man. Uh-huh What's usually the sequel to stew once they get Burgess Meredith's old ass out of there after he died What if you guys came over to my house and I showed you my like Blu-ray collection and I only own sequels to movies? I'm like, I don't see the original. I'm a sequels and remakes guy only. You have 500 sequels and then a copy of Gone Fishing. The fucking movie with Joe Pesci and Danny Glover.

And I actually do have a copy of that, and it's a fantastic movie, and it really holds up. There's no way that's still good. Willie Nelson has a fantastic cameo in it. He's in it? He's like, you flip and you dip. Oh, he's the old guru. He teaches them how to fish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy schmooch! Joe Pesci's great in it. Yeah, that's a great thing. Every time he sees a big fish or something, he just looks at the camera and he goes, holy schmooch! Holy schmoo like a these he's like a big fish or something. He just looks at the camera He goes, holy And he's constantly getting like struck by lightning or being eaten by an alligator. It's like some allegory

It's like Jonah and the whale. It's it's insane What Melville did for the 1800s, I wanna do for the year 1993. Holy smoke. Holy smoke, I'm a fucking gangster. But yes, The Witch was fine from what I saw. The Witch is. Every movie you put on, it always has to end with an old lady

getting her tits eaten off by crows. Ah. Yeah, you brought it up. I'm just gonna lie to Devin for now and say there's like gangsters in it or something. You keep doing this bullshit with me. It's the only movies you like. That is not true.

You like buddy stuff where like it's a guy with his best mate and then you watch stuff where it's like guys in suits and they're like eating meatballs. The only movies you like have to be weird for no fucking reason. No that's not true. Yeah it is. What's the witch? There's a witch. And then their kid, they sacrifice their kid.

Well, don't refill it. Neither filling the in name. Hey, spoiler, spoiler. You just like watching people that live in utter shit. Every movie you like, everyone has to have a horrible fucking life. They have no food. They're just, everyone looks like they smell,

and it's horrific, and then they're all tortured to death. I like when guys toast to having horrible lives. Yeah. To seven more years eating worms. Is someone knocking? No, sorry, that was my chair against the wall. I was laughing at your joke in the chair. It sounded like a woodpecker.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm trying to prep Devin for Nosferatu because I have a feeling it could be the movie of the chair. It sounded like a woodpecker. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I'm trying to prep Devin for Nosferatu because I have a feeling it could be the movie of the decade. It could be pretty good. I'm excited for The Brutalist though, coming out. The Brutalist should be good. That one looks pretty great. I haven't seen that one.

It's not out yet. I want to see the one where the guy has to solve the puzzle to get out of the room. It's like he comes over and like Hugh Grant's in it. Oh, heretic. The Jehovah's Witnesses come into Hugh Grant's place. Yeah, he gives him like like Hugh Grant's in it oh yeah the Jehovah's Witnesses come in the Hugh Grant's place yeah he gives him like a Rubik's Cube and yeah he can't solve it like they should blow his head off or something that looks like a novel idea mm-hmm I can't wait for a

never been done before and by the way can't wait for terrifier 3 because it's already out once again I only watched the second and third edition of movies what's this what's this Why is this clown so scary? I'll happily go see Terrifier 3 knowing nothing about the first two. Yeah, you've watched Saw 9. I own the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 through 9. Never seen the original Slasher. You get mad because you thought you watched the original,

it was the remake from 2014. Now, Devin, I understand that you brought something to my attention. You brought me a great big fat guy. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's like a ton. It's just a quick video. But it's a fat guy, and he's at a McDonald's playhouse,

I believe. OK. What are my search words? It's in your messages. I sent it to the group. OK. Well, you're only sitting right here and doing a show with me.

Let me, let me open up my texts. I don't know how to pull shit up on your computer. Man, the Dodgers have really torn you guys asunder. You know, Ben gets in these moods. He's a moody cunt. Devin's trying to act like I'm a male cunt or something. A male cunt. I'm trying to protect my family, god damn it.

You walk through my house, you have a fucking attitude. I never have an attitude at your place, ever. You left a, by the way, actually you know what, I don't wanna be that guy. No, this isn't true, I did not leave cans. I threw my cans away. In what? In a big thing on top of the recycle,

which looked like where the cans go now. Yeah, okay. Because you're always fucking waiting for that Mexican to come over and do all the work that you underpay her for. And then leave her stranded on some street. Leave her stranded on Lancashim. Yeah, she does take like a donkey to get to your house.

Like old pots and pans on the back of it. Misa, Misa, I live in the Grand Canyon. I take the donkey up from the Grand Canyon. She has to do like the butch casting in the Sundance camp, like we're going through the desert. Oh, she's being chased the whole time. She's going like, these guys. The ominous man is me, by the way.

She's going, damn, these guys are good. These guys are small boy now. Yeah. She asks for less, I tip her. She says I pay her the best out of everybody. That's great, and then you drive her to a bus stop. You don't even drive her home. You drive her to a bus.

Oh, she looks like, you know. Well, you should drive her home. Where does she live? I have offered, she doesn't want it. She doesn't want it. I'm not boxing her. She's afraid you'll drive her straight to immigration. No, no, it's okay.

She's seeing how you look. She's heard the jokes you make from other rooms. Every time he drops her off at the bus station, she gets out holding her keys like Wolverine. Thank you, Mr. Reven. I wish there was an evidence of me locking my maid in the laundry room while we were doing that podcast by the pool.

That was unbelievable. She was screaming, banging on the doors covered in like what dogs dogs barking at her while she's screaming They get treated better at the border yeah when they get locked up. Oh, no. Yeah, the government's investigating you Like those guys they were lassoing at the border. I don't know my laundry room turned into something from saw It's like a portal to Mexico. That poor woman. I know. It was so funny also,

lock her in the laundry room like, all right, well, you get to come out when you're done. When you're done! Clean your way out, sweet heart. She's just living off of Fabulo, so. She's just living off of fabuloso. I had that this week where I had your old maid, our old maid come by. I won't say her name, but she showed up. I was like, hey, how are you?

I was talking about showing her pictures of the baby. Then she's like, last time I got big tickets when I was here on the street, I got big tickets. I was like, oh shoot I didn't really know what to do or yeah, I paid her a little extra but she seemed pretty pissed off about it Well, she should learn how to read the street signs Yeah, I'm with Devin on this one. I mean, I mean, I'm not trying to sound, you know callous here, but right How's that your flight? I actually I am meaning to sound callous. Mm-hmm get it together Don't put that on me now, okay She's a little and she did say it them like the minute she walked through the door

She goes you park on the street. I go. Yeah, you go. I got tickets and I go I never Got a ticket or anything. That sounds like you know, she was a party I parked the worst car you've ever seen in your life on the street Even compared to your old piece of shit. Oh, that was one of the best parts of going Halloween as Ricky from Trailer Park Boys is my car looks exactly like the one you lit, so it looks like I bought the car for the costume.

Like all I needed was the missing door on it. Oh yeah, you do have a real fucked up car. Yeah, it's a real piece of shit. I hate your car. No, so do I. Everybody does. You ever get jealous of these people at all these Halloween parties, dressing up?

I don't think I've ever dressed up and gone to a thing. That was my first time ever doing that. It feels like Halloween's going on forever this year. They all started this weekend, it's not even til later this week. Yeah, they were doing it on the 26th. Yeah, Halloween is nonstop. I'll tell you this year.

It's just mind control. They do Halloween right around the election, the World Series, all these things are connected. I think this year I'll be going to Halloween dressed as the flag, because this country's getting rather spooky. Yeah, Devon, I actually, I made a very spooky Jack-o-lantern, very scary Jack-o-lantern, it had a Harris-Walls presidency carved into it.

I think I'll be making Jack-o-lanterns out of watermelons this year, I'm just like Tony Inscliffe's joke. Is that what he said? He made some insanely bad black joke to some guy, he said, where we carve watermelons after this. bad black joke to some guy. He said, where have we carved watermelons after this? Devin, Devin, the comments on Reddit made an insanely racist joke about watermelons. Then his writer copy pasted that into a Google Doc, and then Tony chose it.

Tony was on stage going like r slash butt buddy 420. Oh, I wasn't supposed to read that. We're excited. I'm guarantee you could Google every joke he's done, and you could find it on Reddit posted like six days ago. Sweating. Yeah, I mean, you could find them probably 70 years ago at some horrible, like, you know.

Like some black joke book. Yeah, like fucking the Moose Lodge roast of 38. Right, the Friars Club they started because they couldn't wear the robes anymore. So they're like, I guess we'll do Kiwanis Club The jokes that he told that he tells half the time are like like if you weren't like in the middle of the country at A gas station and some old like mildly charming racist fuck was talking to you even if he said these jokes you'd be like Well may I show you someone who is a true man of the people

Yeah, because I'll show you someone who is a true man of the people? Yeah, because I'll show you someone who could really bring the country together. Is that Schneid? Oh yeah, Schneider was on the Adam Friedland show. Okay, here we go, hold on, saved. I'll show you someone that, oh fuck, I can't believe we didn't even get into this. I gotta pull 180 right now.

Okay. So I know we don't have the kind of insurance that protects us from slander But I will risk all of that because we need to dive into something okay right now That is beyond fucked up by somebody who could sue us potentially This is a very powerful guy in Hollywood And I would not want to cross paths with them in the future especially about after the Things were about to say about okay. You're like Steven Spielberg is a fag What if I just viciously started attacking like some like made a level comic yeah

Yeah, you're like Brad Williams should kill Yeah, yeah, I feel like they're all powerful. Yeah, you're like Brad Williams should kill attack on Brad Williams a very guy who I've met it was very nice to me, but yeah, I accused him of being a pedophile Cuz I saw him with a Short his wife's a midget. I'm like, I'm pretty sure it's a kid. I can't tell I Don't really know man Come in. Come in. You swatted him. Yeah, I swatted. Yeah, yeah, the fucking FBI's putting their whole boot in his back, just like a buck.

What if you got swatted by a bunch of midgets, by the way? That would be pretty funny. Midgets coming in through the vents, die-hard style. Out of the toilet, skimity toilet style. I'm not even this type of guy. I feel like I'd have to fight back at that point. I'm like, I can't say that 10 midgets brought me down. Like Samson. Yeah, like, I can't say that 10 midgets brought me down. Like Samson.

Yeah, yeah. Like fucking. Yeah, I pull the roof down around me. I'll see you in hell! They're going, ahh! A little two foot tall dudes. They're going, ahh, you're in the risk of being. I go, I'll see you in the fiery pits of hell.

I'm pretty sure midgets are bad at walking, by the way, don't have like they don't they're not long enough to have joints Yeah, so they're late. So I have a joint so that's why they have to they walk how they move the Easter Island heads the ancient peoples did just Sauntering it back and forth and not to be ableist they could never walk on the moon Because they can't bend their knee because they would they would do this because they do it through gravity so in a place where There's no gravity a midget would just do this to walk and then they would just keep floating Forever off the moon. Yeah, they could never be astronauts Yeah, which is unfortunate because being small in space is a huge benefit

Is it they never have like you never see like Dennis Rodman or something go up in space? Mm-hmm, or if you're an astronaut that looks like fucking the Kimbe Mutombo Well, I think there's you're you're tapping into something a little different. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's always a little guy astronauts It's little guys named like you go. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why we allow women to go up into space Why don't they have little midget jockeys? That's not a thing. Yeah, how come? Oh, yeah, just like ride horses. Why don't they just tape duct tape them to a horse and that horse would be so fast Mids would be dead by the time it gets back. I think it is. I think the horse has no respect for They even the horse knows that it's a midget

Yeah, opposed to a small man and the horse is the horse like it doesn't scare me. I just don't like it I have no respect. I know respect no respect The horse knows it's a part of a spectacle and it's grossed out by that. I Will yeah, he goes I will not be a part of something I refuse to be a part of this Get get a little four-seven Italian man a little four-seven twink and put him on my back not this midget fuck Yeah, horses are racist. Yeah But I'm about to blow this wide open right now.

First of all, you guys know that if Jimmy Fallon has ever come up on the show, we've never really showered him with praise. Sure. Right. Sure. Yeah. I don't think any has anyone ever showered him with praise.

I think like Nate Barghazi is like best friends with him Nate Barghazi will say like Jimmy rules Yeah, Justin Timberlake loves Jimmy Fallon Yeah, because behind his back Jimmy Fallon is handing him a big sack with a dollar sign on it Yeah, yeah, and that's why which great for him They just they look the other way when Jimmy Fallon falls down the steps of the comedy seller You know once a month when he rips his arm off in a thresher I'm pretty sure on Jimmy Fallon goes out, his wife puts like one of those like,

like special Olympics helmets on him. Special liability at this point. The bear suit. Yeah, the bear attacks suit. He needs to be in a mech suit to go have a beer. He has an epilepsy helmet, but just so he doesn't, you know. You remember he almost ripped his ring finger

off of his hand, because he was blackout drunk and he fell and it grabbed like a counter tip and I know a guy that used to work for the show and and Jimmy would like to like to wrestle the staff and he made everyone go He's a real problem He made everyone go out to a bar one night and they all got fucked up and then he he dislocated this writer's shoulder and then he dislocated this rider's shoulder. Really? Yeah, and then I acted like it never happened.

And then I think fired him later on. He's completely. He was like Philadelphia. He's completely out of his mind. And this has nothing to do with your performance here at the firm. I was in New York once, I saw a guy peeping out of the sewer like it was the it clown.

Yeah, it was a Jew. It was, and Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, that's why it's called it. It's called it. But, so I'm gonna blow this thing right up, and now we all know, and I think I'm the only one that kind of has a clue to what the fuck is going on in Hollywood right now. This is dark, yeah, I saw you, yeah, okay.

This is, and I posted it on Twitter, and of course it got no traction, but the reality is is that Horatio Sans is tied to a human trafficking ring with Jimmy Fallon at Saturday Night Live. We all know this to be a fact. Well, there's that article that came out that he took a 12-year-old.

Yeah, there's a court document that discuss how Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sands were pen pals, or I'm sorry, this is the days of AOL Messenger, with a very, very young woman. I don't remember the specific age because it was such a young age, messenger with a very, very young woman. I don't remember the specific age because why would, it was such a young age, I didn't even have to remember the exact age.

It's the age where you go like, well at least she wasn't, you know, nine, she was 10. I can even look it up real quick if you guys want me to because, and I'm sure Jimmy's people had it scrubbed, you know, the way he scrubs his gums after he puts in that powder powder and This is a disgusting and vile thing where you know Lauren and everybody I guess they they looked the other way as You know Horatio was a bopping his girlfriend up and down on his knee like a young tyke

But here we go This was in variety of all things Here we go. This was in variety of all things. Here we go. And by the way, Tracy Morgan is in this too, but who gives a shit? I mean, he's- He was crushed by a truck. He was crushed by a truck, he smoked crack. So did Horatio, he lost weight to impress the kids?

He lost weight just to be like- The kids were calling him fat, just so he could skateboard. Yeah, so he could fit into the clothing they liked. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 15, okay. So this girl was going around the SNL parties

when she was 15. And I believe they... When he began grooming her. They met because she was like the president of the Horatio Sans fan club or something. That's correct. Yeah. Which, to be fair, she was the only one in the club.

Yeah, no, it's funny to be so much of a loser. Not only do you have to date a 15-year-old, she has to be the one member of your own fan club. Because her favorite sketch is the cocoa butter sketch. Yeah, because she got molested during the cocoa butter sketch at home and developed this week. Pretty sure it goes perfect. She completely blocked that out and just

remembers a strange desire attached to the cocoa butter sketch. Yeah, okay, so Now that that is you know It's now people can believe me because the mainstream media posted about it the mind control mainstream the lame stream media sure Matt Walsh posted careful, please. Oh Really? So this is interesting because Matt Walsh as we know, he fucks kids as well. And now he's buddy buddy, but with Horatio you can see. We all know that.

Oh, this is a known, it's an open secret in Hollywood that they fuck children, Matt Walsh and Horatio Sands. So now we know, so real quick before I move further, we have now, we have concrete evidence that Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sands would do Eiffel Towers on children at SNL. We now know this. This is the reality of what happened.

And it makes sense now that Jimmy was awarded the spot of the Tonight Show host because they must have an infinite amount of blackmail on the guy. That's why he's a vicious, mean-spirited alcoholic. He has some void in him that not even Jesus could fill. This guy, if he got sober, he would put a revolver in his mouth and he would kill himself like Jimmy Gator

at the end of Magnolia. And by the way, someone should take Jimmy Fallon's kids away from him, because God only knows what he's doing to them. God only knows, Jimmy Fallon, it should be illegal for him to have a garage. There should be a carbon monoxide alarm in every room in his house. He's a vicious, insane lunatic who will surely drop dead

very soon due to his terrible drug addiction and alcohol problem. Horatio Sanz, meanwhile, best friends with Jimmy friends with Jimmy found was right you don't hear Jimmy talk I tune into the tonight show all the time Jimmy never brings up Horatio. I go there the day I go. What's Jimmy? What's Horatio sans doing Jimmy Fallon's old pedophile? You know these guys were the Batman and Robin of fucking kids in New York City What's going on and I go? Oh, here's what Horatio Sans is doing. I don't even know what that is. That's some weird satanic ritual

he's participating in right now. He's taking a satanic dab hit. So his unconscious is sort of explaining to us what sort of hell he's trapped. He doesn't even know he's doing this. He thinks he's just making a ha ha whatever, brain rot video. No, this is his mental state right here.

Is that actually Matt Walsh? Go to that Matt Walsh. Is that the real Matt Walsh? Yeah, it is Matt Walsh. No, that ain't him. It's a different guy. Oh no no, it's this guy. He's a good actor.

Matt Walsh isn't a he, him, his. It's this guy. He might be. Don't you agree? Yeah, that's the real Matt Walsh. That guy's a really good actor. I love this guy. No, he's great.

That's not the Matt Walsh. That guy's a real Matt Walsh. That guy's a really good actor. I love this guy. No, he's great. That's not the Matt Walsh. The Matt Walsh is a hilarious satirist, Republican satirist. Not the Matt Walsh I know. Look at what he keeps trying to leak by the way.

Natalie Portman. Look at this, what is he up to? You're saying he's giving dog whistles. Fresh off the- Yes, and look, little orphan orphan Annie she's dressed up as. Guys, guys! Fresh out of the Leon the Professional premiere. Yeah, and he says, let's not forget

the original Menendez brothers. Oh my God. Talking about children who also claimed to be molested by their dad that they killed. And that their metaphor is sacrifice the American family. Orphan Annie's the original, you wanna talk about coveting a child. That's the orphan Annie.

Every guy was having a jizzle jam back in the day. They dropped their slacks at the side of her on the silver screen back in those days. This is absolutely disgusting. Now I'm gonna scroll down and show you guys something I discovered Because it seems now that the great Horatio sans as we see the engagements not good, right? Yeah, you showed me some you showed me some reels that had zero like zero that really was

They look very pizza gate ish, but he was probably just as involved for the pizza Look they showed up at comic pickpockets like oh they look very pizza gate-ish, but he was probably just as involved for the pizza Look, they showed up at common pickpockets like oh, they're fucking kids. Oh great. Look look at that one view Yeah, one view look five views eleven views on that one video. He is being now and he's doing thumbnail Things to where he's going like wow, that's crazy. He's making a what? He just posts memes. Like, look, this is not even his. He's trying to get engaged with us. Look, he's just doing this. Reposting like popular TikToks he saw

and putting funny. Oh my god. Antiques Roadshow. Yeah, that's not his video. Someone clearly, whoever's still representing him, and God bless that person, sure, they are trying to tell him he needs to get back in the algorithm.

He's posting funny memes he downloads off of TikTok. Devin, I believe he lives in this area from what I've heard. People see him digging through the trash sometimes. Yeah. He's actually. He lives inside the bright spot. That diner is actually his. The abandoned diner.

He rents out the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. He sleeps in the toilet. He sleeps in the pantry when they close. And when he gets evicted from that, he actually hides in Danzig's walls. Danzig's actually losing his mind because he doesn't know Horatio Sanz

is sleeping in his house. Danzig hired Horatio Sanz to be a gargoyle. Horatio Sanz has to be a gargoyle all night and go to sleep on Danzig's balcony. When Danzig gets a hook, he tries to hit a bong rip real quick and Dan's a third. There goes. Hey I'll crawl my tiny ass up pretty sure Jimmy Who we all know is very powerful in Hollywood now because you know he drank the blood sure

Jimmy now is Making a call to old daddy's Zuck who owns meta who owns Instagram saying hey Zuck who owns Meta, who owns Instagram, saying hey Zuck, long time no see, you gotta do me a favor pal. Horatio, and he does this, and Zuck goes, I got it. And now he's getting no views, he's getting no engagement, no comments. By the way, Horatio, he wasn't, as many jokes as I make, he was not un-beloved on SNL

Mm-hmm remember when he did the little thing with the guitar. I remember he would always like laugh with Jimmy Yeah, that was they were kind of hated for that for breaking laugh at every sketch. Yeah, he was terrible He's just a fat fucking it, but he was in boat trip, but he was It's funny. They're like you sold your soul to Satan to be in boat trip't boat trip. But he was not. It is funny, they're like, you sold your soul to Satan to be in boat trip. To be in boat trip. But I mean, compared to some of the, I mean, the cast members now, they just hired a piano cat. I saw it the other day.

Yeah. Yeah. They have like memes from 2005, or a new SNL. Yeah, they have like the skateboarding dog is the new cast member. Featuring, I't Has Cheeseburger. Squirrel with lightsaber. Epic bacon for the win.

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lightsaber. If they really want to save Eson by the way they got a higher BAM Margera Yeah, that would be they gotta bring they gotta bring BAM on as a cuz BAM I would love to see him start over yeah, yeah It's so funny to be like he's the freshman at SNL. He's like you look 64 years old He's just like doing sketches like he's midway through a sketch, he just pauses and he goes, man, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Every sketch bam is trying to overdose on pills. Or like blows that off with a gun. I know, yeah.

Drink bleach. I know, yeah. Colin just tries to take his pills away and he starts slapping him like he's Phil. Just slapping him across the face. I think you need like felons. They need to start hiring the convicted felons It should be like the replacements. Yeah With criminals. Yeah

Street people who's the who's the buff British guy? Charles Bronson. Yeah that guy. Yeah, he's still alive the guy with the little Glasses. Yeah, and the mustache. Yeah. Yeah, the guy who looks like John, really. Looks like John Knapp. Oh, that is who John's trying to be, actually. He's like a Charles Bronson kind of guy. Yeah. So I want to stay on topic here.

Do you guys think it's so far-fetched that Jimmy made a call after this? By the way, Jimmy never commented on this article. I think Jimmy may have given him money to make this thing go away I don't know if this was carried out in court. It seems possibly Horatio Maybe he's posting memes because he's in a prison cell and he can't post his everyday life anymore I'm not really sure but I believe Guys, are there any holes in my theory right now because they used to be a real tag team

Well, what's the only story that came out? Is there evidence? I mean, is there like stories of this, like online of the kid fucking? Yeah. Well, this is the stories of Horatio Sands. Definitely like dating that 15 year old and Jimmy Fallon is in the court documents as going around to parties with its Horatio. It was Horatio, Jimmy and this girl in a limo. And they were around to parties with, it's Horatio, it was Horatio, Jimmy and this girl in a limo and they were going to parties.

You know the SNL people, they party hard after parties. Yeah, there's always the after party. Apparently Horatio brought her to the after party. If I remember, there was a table of all, it was them and Amy Poehler or whoever. They're like, so what do you do? And she's like, oh, I'm a sophomore. And they go, oh, well NYU.

And she goes, no, at Brooks Academy High School. And they were like, so what do you do? And she's like, oh, I'm a sophomore and they go Oh, I like well NYU and she goes no at it, you know, like Brooks Academy High School and they were like, eee Right, but a foul and apparently was like had no problem with it Which is like I mean I can try to find the court documents real quick because I read them long ago because as you know I burn with so much hatred sure. There we go You want to take a take a peep at that? Complaints against defendants NBCUniversal, Warren Michaels, Horatio Sands, James Fallon, and Tracy Morgan respectively alleges this falls upon information and belief. Tracy Morgan, yeah, they put a stage in it, then they put a few futons all around, and

then they'd get strippers and girls to come and do Shows you'd walk in there get your dick sucked It was usually some fucking going on and there was liquor and couches everywhere Tracy Morgan describing the Saturday Night Live afterparty We're 17 year old Jane though was sexually assaulted by her ratio Sam's Yeah, see a lot of people demand to see evidence of the things I talk about on this show But if you just let me go off the dome, I'm never wrong. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

I read this whole statement here from Jane Doe, God bless her. Do you think that's why- Horrible thing she was put through that she had to suck Horatio Sans off. Do you think Mr. James Fallon, that's also why he possibly tried to kill Tracy Morgan with that Walmart truck? That's made it Called the guy he goes hey, why don't you why don't you squish Tracy Morgan? I appreciate that you're Russ calling this right now. Yeah, yeah the red string. No, you're us call You've been cooking this for 20 years and then I come back after my life's falling apart. You're Marty

I'm Marty and I go I go, you know, my life's okay. It's like fine, you know Go home watch the game, you know, do life's okay. It's like fine, you know. Go home, watch the game, you know. Cheat on my wife. I cheat on my wife, she left me, my life fucking sucks. Look, SNL transports guests in limousines from Rockefeller Center. These parties are the stuff of legends. This is how legends are made.

Yes, this is the transcendent stars of SNL were famous cast members like Tina Fey Rachel Tratch Okay, well there oh look at that It says it says it was a well-known among the SNL crowd including Warren Michaels its creator showrunner producer Yeah, teenage girls were regularly invited to these parties and served alcohol Yes, along with the celebrities one such girl was Jane Doe Yeah, is that her real name? Now you have a moral reason to a Saturday Night Live every Saturday. This is really helpful. Yeah from 2000 to 2002. Here we are ladies and gentlemen. From age 15 to 17 Jane was a fixture at SNL She attended no fewer than 17 separate event evenings

20 SNL parties where she and her teenage friends socialized with SNL cast and executives alike? By the way, thanks Tina Fey. Thanks for turning a blind eye to Horatio Sands walking around with this, you know, with this Leon the professional girl. Yeah. Yeah. This is insane. Wow. Wow. Seventeen year old Jane Doe. Yeah, that's why they called it 30 Rock, because that's the amount of times

you could fuck a teenager there. Cast members Horatio Sanz groped Jane's breasts and buttocks and rubbed her vagina in full view of party onlookers, continuing the assault even as she implored him to stop. Oh look, as the entire innocent girl watched, and she watched her idols, Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch laughed at her.

Oh man, imagine getting raped and like Fred Armisen is doing an impression of a cat in that movie. Yeah, Fred Armisen is just being like, this is you getting raped. Oh, stop. Oh wow, look at this. Look at this. This story continues.

What the fuck is wrong with everybody? How is every single but everybody? Yeah, yeah Yeah, damn well. He's in a feeble file right yeah 15 It depends how stacked she was Okay The judge is also pathways like I'm gonna need to weigh the breasts in my chambers.

Horatio was she stacked? Could I see some of the nude pictures from the time periods? I can see how stacked she was. And I wanna point out real quick, this is a, SNL is a beehive of sexual assault and human trafficking and children fucking. And what is the biggest tool?

What is the biggest hammer and chisel that the political landscape uses around election time? Comedy, the media? Saturday Night Live. What does that tell you about Lorne Michaels? What is he doing with Paul Simon? What is he doing running this comedy show? What is he doing behind closed doors, really?

They say, they go, oh Lorne, he's a real mysterious guy who keeps to himself. Yeah, I bet he does. I bet he keeps it close to the vest for a reason, doesn't he? Because he never wants to know where you're coming from. Do you think Lauren? I bet he's groped more people than Seville. I bet you Lauren Michaels' body's buried

under Rockefeller Center. I bet it looks like fucking Dachau in the basement. There was Nazi insignia in 30 Rock. Thank you, James. That Louis famously talks about. And John Hampton Black blackface and John Hampton blackface there as well Yeah, and Tina Fey laughed as a child was groped by a big fat nothing a Man who looks like a big fat egg a big fat hairy Mexican egg wandered over to this child groped her vagina and her pussy according to the court documents, and Tina Fey laughed

and goes, ha ha ha, I'll be the face of American Express in 10 years, because what does she care? She's totally gamed the system. She's the face of credit card companies now. She made a show really just to make fun of a black guy with schizophrenia, and I'm talking about Tracy Morgan here. And it's a great show. It's a fantastic show.

It's very good. It's very good. Do you think Lorne Michaels auditioned the Teenage Girls like they were cast members? Probably. They got on stage and they pulled him aside. He goes, you're good, but not this year. I think next year when the breasts have butted a little bit

that's when you get molested. So keep at it You're great. We love you. Have you read on no buck calls Lolita, you know, I'm thinking Neil Simon would love to fuck you I'm gonna give you Neil's number and a private limousine. He was Neil Simon The playwright I meant to say Paul Simon. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know enough about play people always reference playwrights I don't know anything about that. I only know playwrights I meant to say Paul Simon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know enough about playwrights. People always reference playwrights. I don't know anything about that. I only know playwrights if they also wrote books. I don't really respect guys who were just playwrights unless they were Arthur Miller,

but we only know Arthur Miller's name because he was the first Jew to fuck Marilyn Monroe. And God bless him for that. Well, that's why they threw a ticker tape parade for him. Like he was an astronaut. Today I consider myself the luckiest Jew who ever fought. So, you know, meanwhile, Horatio Sanz, you can see him down at King's Burrito

or whatever the fuck. You could probably accost him in the parking lot of the Vons where, you know, Gigi Allen used to eat his own poop. Yeah, you know what's sad is he's probably calling the Flappers Booker and just getting the ring. And he's going like, come on, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.

Man, that is pretty brutal. Now, I'm gonna Control F here. I'm a Control F guy, you know that about me. And I'm gonna type in because- Oh, they quoted Marc Maron Well, they have all the cited interviews and stuff. One of them was Anna gas are on WTF Oh, what she said? Yeah, I could click if you click through the whole thing. It'll probably tell you but but Mark will come after me Hold on. We good It would be funny if like at the end they're like also

WTF sucks. At the end of the court argument, Jane Doe would like to express that she always takes the first 15 minutes of WTF with Mark Maron. Yeah, we would like to be awarded, the prosecution is asking for $10 million and to admit that everyone fast forwards Mark's catch up. That we don't care about what the cats have been up to.

We don't really care about Mark Maron's black keys impression. Do you think there's gotta be somebody who just goes through every episode, listens to the first 15 minutes, and then skips to the next episode? Just him talking about getting cookies from a fan. I don't really need to talk to,

I don't need to hear the Brad Pitt interview. Next. I'm just trying to see if there's any more stuff about Fallon. Are we good? Yeah, I mean, a lot of this it's like, he said she said, but I don't know, it'd be pretty elaborate.

So he was the fat stain on us on an otherwise amazing run. They were a great cast. And how did they know her age? That's a good point. She got in. Yeah, they might not have known. If I was in the cast and all that.

So they thought it was just a normal woman getting assaulted. If I'm in the cast and it's an after party and everyone's sucking and fucking or whatever, I'm assuming you didn't get through the front doors without being of age. Like there's security at 30 Rock. I guess that is, there are probably some people

who are like, she was Howl? Yeah, I mean it's got to be. It's not like every single one of those people is a half Howl-nore. Yeah, they do that where they, people will tweet whatever person they hate politically next to Epstein and Ghislaine. It's like, well they just took a picture with her.

They're just that, yeah, you gotta think. Folks. What? Here we go. Hi, Jay, this is Jimmy. Yeah, the real deal think folks what here we go When she was 15 years old someone hacked into her fan website leaving abusive comments She received a lot of supporting messages, but once stood out an email from Fallon himself Then go ahead and read it in Jimmy's voice. I'm sorry to hear that someone hacked into your website the other day I also saw that they said some pretty mean things to you

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know why some people are so mean. It never helps. And I'm sorry it happened to a cool girl like yourself. Anyway, you worked hard and made a really cool site that I checked out and enjoyed and I jacked off to. And I've been coming back, underage pictures for days. So don't let that sort of stuff get you down.

I'm using an email thing from one of the girls at work. She's a kid too, we fucked. So I don't think I'll need to get any replies. Thanks again girls at work. She's a kid too, we fucked. So I don't think I'll be able to get any replies. Thanks again for being awesome. You made a great website. Jimmy Fallon, PS. Here's a note from Horatio. Hey Jane, you did a great website,

so don't worry about those losers. You are cool. Holy shit. Can I say the most suspect thing about that is saying I'm using an email from somebody else at work. Yep. Is a little, That's a little weird. Yeah. You know you don't want this to be documented.

That is very strange. Yeah, that is strange. And why did he mention Horatio? Oh, is that before the accusations? And here we go. Here's a little bit more damning evidence. Oh, there's some pictures, yeah. Jimmy!

Now, I don't know about you guys. I have never had a relationship with a 15 year old girl where I go, I didn't know she was 15. I had no idea. Fifteen. I thought she was in her late 20s. Yeah. How how hideous is this woman? How weathered is she? Does she sleep outside like a junkyard dog?

I mean, she is a she is a Horatio Sands fan. She had the lifestyle of Francis McDormand in Nomadland. Just chain smoking cigarettes and black coffee. You know, when you're talking to a 15 year old, you know, they're 15. It's it's very obvious. Ben, especially as you get older, you go, oh, my God, I'm talking to a child. I mean, here's the unfortunate fact of this is that it is true because Horatio was so fat at the time.

When you're that fat, you just, you legally are a pedophile. Regardless of who you are. There's just something about the way he looks, you're like, that's every pedophile is that fat. Yep. And that's why you love candy, just like, who you like the fuck, like everything you eat is like for children And look she at 16 she began drinking at the after parties and this and that says this time she attended with two teenage girls

She had met through the online message boards who were also at these Once again, this is this is what I'm saying. It's a child trafficking ring Will Ferrell and Andrew steel They're all in on it. Cause Will Ferrell, cause who else was working at SNL by the way? Andrew Steele, who later became Harper Steele. Now they're doing a road trip. They're probably doing a road trip just so they can

check on their trafficking rings they have running all around the country. They're on the run. Yeah. They filmed their getaway on Netflix. The documentary might have been a cover to drive across the US and kill every person they need to silence.

That's right. I mean, you could track their location during the filming. If you look at production, you could probably track murders and missing children along their route. The police are like, there was some very ugly serial killer just driving across the US.

They're just checking on safe houses. Like that episode when Mike takes Jessie out to all the drops. Yes. Yeah, they go, there was a woman who looked like a pile of old blankets who we suspect doing it. Yeah, the security guard at the NBC didn't care. Says here. Of course he didn't.

Uh, he referred to NBC saying NBC didn't care, so he just let him in. They drank beer from the open bar downstairs. Look, this was all out in the open. It's always, you know, a quote unquote, they call it an open secret. Is it a secret? Yeah, it doesn't sound so secret to me.

Doesn't sound so secret to me. A secret is pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss. That it a secret? Yeah, it doesn't sound so secret to me. Doesn't sound so secret to me. A secret is pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, pss, that's a secret. This is, I don't know what this is. Sans, don't tell anybody, promise Jane on my life. Jane, Sarah didn't tell anyone either, just me, don't worry, Sans, okay, I trust you two weirdos. He's doing this whole like cheeky, cheeky talk with them.

And doing the not telling anybody this stuff is very damning as well Now let's see here. What else do we have? It's right out of the the feebis Don't tell anybody but it's about him like eating like a cast members like going away cake Just covered in fucking fudge. Icing. Someone's making like a cold stone ice cream on top of his head. Singing happy birthday to him. I bet you they all just tried to blame Tracy too.

Yeah. What? No it was the black guy. Oh here we go. I bet they did blame blame them by the way Sands and Jane were definitely cuddly and arms around each other and for all intents and Purposes as an outsider as a 17 year old and for me and Jane talking they were a couple to me They were dating in some capacity and I'm like look at how cool Jane is for dating this older guy I look back now and I'm like why would any famous person entertain us?

Why would they even give us the time of day? And it's because they were predatory. Oh, Chris Catan it says. Now you think Chris Catan has a... You guys want some kids? You think Chris Catan would be... Well I think even the 15 year olds are like, we're good, we don't wanna talk to Chris.

They were like, Catan's a hack. Yeah, Catan's like, what are you guys talking about? They're like, nothing. Like you stole your pickup line from somebody else, I'm sure. Here we go. And here it goes all the way to the top. It keeps going.

16 year old Jane drinks alcohol with Lorne Michaels. And apparently this guy's some sort of comedy god. Everybody says, oh, he understands comedy more than anybody anybody does he? 16 year old Janet another SNL taping with two teenage friends this time sans put her on his own guest list for the after-party This is a guy that mind you look look. Oh, sorry go ahead Ben. Oh, no no go ahead Yes, it 102 the group discussed that Jane was a high school student and was studying for the Fallon common at one point so you have a few years before you graduate.

The other seat, it became very quiet for a moment when Jane mentioned that she was a junior in high school, but quickly moved on. There we go. There we go. I mean, I don't think any of this is safe for YouTube. I dare we even go down any further. We're 21 pages into this court document here.

I think it might be dangerous if we try to follow this any further. What will this pages into this court document here. I think it might be dangerous if we try to follow this any further. What will this shit come out? I need to hire security guards after it. Oh, it has, yeah. Yeah, but no one cared. Yeah, and you know why no one cares. I'm gonna become one of those annoying people on Twitter

that just their whole goal is to ruin people's lives. By the way, if this came out about Joe Rogan, this would be every day. It'd still be the top news story. And everybody would call him a kid fucker. Joe Rogan tried to would be every day, it'd still be the top news story. And everybody would call him a kid fucker. Joe Rogan tried to fuck a fawn. Meanwhile, Jimmy Fallon's playing Patty Cake with Margot Robbie.

I like that. We should make Sorry Not Sorry for Horatio Sanz. And somehow get even less viewers than that documentary did. All of them, and I wanna state, they didn't, why do you think Chris Farley had to resort to so many drugs and alcohol while he was at SNL? What did he see that he tried to keep his mouth and what was he threatened with? Norm had no respect for what was going on and they fired him Lauren asked Adam Sandler to leave Adam Sandler's a family man

to leave, Adam Sandler's a family man. He loves his daughters. That's why they hated him. They hated all the good guys. They hated all the good guys, asked them to leave. Norm was fired because he was talking shit about a guy who was causing violence to women, ladies and gentlemen, who was a friend of Dick Ebersole, the guy who was running SNL on Cyborg Michaels.

Everybody good at SNL has been asked to leave or has overdosed on drugs. And I don't think that's a coincidence anymore. And it appears the one who sucked the satanic cock of Hollywood thrived there and then go on to get movie deals. Everybody else is, maybe success out of there, it's a bit of an anomaly.

Now, I'm a little, I just want, maybe we can get Kenan Thompson on this show and we can maybe dive into the story. He'll do it for $800. I die. He'll do it for $800 I guarantee you he'll do it for $800. You know, it's funny. He's From now knowing people on SNL and Taga and knowing more that they all these people have so much money It makes my head spin Oh Kenan does all these went on for like 20. I guess that's that's right. That's true I'm just saying like the way even the weekend update guys who can't read you know

Born their head riders. Yeah, yeah, Colin. Just was born Yeah, Colin just like one of the guys from like the wedding crashers Like he's like he's a Colin Joseph's you know the funniest guy at the quail hunt Is it isn't funny that like dosie? F ski is a writer and so is Michael Che technically yeah They're both the same thing some post both same levels of debilitating alcoholism him and him and Yates Him and Kerouac Michael Che. Yeah, they're all the same guy, huh? Yeah When they pick up that pin ie shout Into the audio app on their iPhone from Herman Melville to Colin Jost

They're all writers apparently From Herman Melville to Colin Jost. They're all writers apparently. Apparently they all, they can't get enough of the, you give them a pen and a blank page and their hand just works down it, doesn't it? Yeah, and brilliance ensues. Devin's shown me some sketches lately where I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah, there's some. Slick ones. The lady with the piano, I forgot it already. Oh yeah, the Jane, we talked about her. Jane, whatever her name is. Yeah, we have the piano I forgot it. Oh, yeah the Jane we talked about Jane whatever her name is Yeah, we have a Paul Dano woman. Yeah, you know it's probably funny now is I don't even think they fuck kids at SNL anymore No, they hire them now. Yeah They write the joke yeah, yeah, the leading the show is like all that They should yeah, they should get that big bitch.

Patreon.com slash Lemon Party. I hope this one is allowed on YouTube. I think it would be fine. What's wrong with that? We're talking about justice here. Yeah. We're not advocating for anything. We're actually being great guys.

I know we are, but they don't understand nuance. They just hear people talking about kids and stuff. You're worried about Fallon coming after us. I'm a little worried that he could hunt us like a Liam Neeson film. Yeah, I'm just saying you might wanna check your brakes next time you get in the car. But you could hear him stumbling.

By the way, he might have that Irish blood in him. I don't know where he's from, but he has some IRA. He's about that life. He could do some IRA bullshit. He could, I mean, car bombs. He could probably fist fight me to the death. I don't care what Jimmy Fallon did in this. I don't think he's to blame.

I like Jimmy Fallon. And I liked the fever pitch when I was a child. You know what, me too. I love fever pitch. At least we got fever pitch out of the whole Hundreds of 15 year olds lives for taxi and fever pitch What I wanted to talk about on the patreon is a guy named Dan Quinn But we can't he says the n-word a lot so we can't we can't play him on YouTube

But we're gonna get into that next episode at Patreon where we're gonna have a little bit more fun. Okay, all right, bye everybody. Bye. So, Jason, you just wanna let people know where they can get the merch. Oh yeah, you can go to lemonparty.life for the merch. Everything I believe has, I think every single thing

has been sent out by now. If it hasn't, please email the show and I respond to those. So there might be stuff left then at this point Oh, no, no, no, there's every order has been sent out, but there's still merch available. There is no merch available Yeah, so if you haven't gotten anything if you're waiting to get paid or you just hadn't realized it was there now go to Women party dot life big merch bun. It'll take you and I call you this morning. I got a great I'd have good Christmas drop. I yeah, we got some we got some we got some drops We're gonna do in the future. Hopefully next month and then more merch for the merch

people yeah exactly so should be fun but that's the show join us over on patreon episodes every Friday and of course see me do the live streams every Wednesday and Friday on the clips channel week. Bye, everybody. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Bolita would whirl. Blacker than night were the eyes of Polito, wicked and evil while casting a spell. My love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while young cowboy came in, Wild as the West Texas wind.