lemonparty - 106: Spirit World Rising
Episode Date: November 5, 2024Spice up your sex life & get 20% off your 1st order at https://www.usejoymode.com/LEMON Support the show and get 10 free HelloFresh meals at https://www.hellofresh.com/FREELEMON NEW MERCH: https://...lemonparty.myshopify.com/ more episodes: https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty live dates: https://www.lemonparty.life/livedates ben avery: https://www.instagram.com/benaveryisgood/ https://twitter.com/benaveryisgood devan costa: https://www.instagram.com/devanjamescosta/ https://twitter.com/DevanCosta jace avery: https://www.instagram.com/saddrawingsbyjace/ https://twitter.com/JaceAvery website: https://www.lemonparty.life/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwlbiNZoV2RpNygeOQZnQ0Q Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3RRoTJ1TV0hLtkKOtT2Mc5?si=60641c5188294084&nd=1 Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lemonparty/id1651896150 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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So So we just we did a patreon in here in the hate watch studio
Thank You Devin appreciate that it was a maybe one of our most hateful episodes
Jase pointed out we in a new studio a new place. We tend to get scared. We start acting like children
We're very insecure
Take our dog. We start attacking biting randomly. We don't normally do episodes like that. Yeah. Yeah, normally we're very loving
We're trying to bridge the gap on people different than us. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf
I just don't know if I have any new leafs. Why turn over a new leaf?
Turning over a new leaf, but under the leaf is is a little bug that stings you and kills you
You're turning over a new leaf, but under the leaf is a little bug that stings you and kills you. It's a poisonous South African frog.
You don't want to lose your soul.
Sure.
In the, you know, I'm falling through the void here. I don't want to lose my soul.
I want to make it to the finish line with my spirit intact, you know?
I don't want to pour too much bile on my heart.
I'll fucking kill both of you if there's ever a day where we're doing the show.
We're just like, oh yeah, that's cool. Yeah, they're great. There's a day where we're doing the show we're just like oh yeah that's cool yeah they're great there's
a day where we go like I don't like I rules yeah we're just going like I don't
know why people are so upset about that
fair enough well we just completely lost all balls I really I have I have
something spooky prepared today the day we are recording right now is Halloween
I'm about to go trick-or-treating with my daughter yeah well there's nothing real nice up there's something really spooky happening today the day we are recording right now is Halloween I'm about to go trick-or-treating with my daughter yeah we're gonna do a real nice step there's
something really spooky happening today the US election when this gets released
oh that's all that's that's right we are dropping this on election day I believe
I remember a comic used to do a joke he goes everybody everybody wants Trump to
release his taxes he goes folks I'm afraid he's gonna release the Kraken.
And I think, sometimes in the morning,
I brush my teeth, I think about it and I go, ooh.
It's like wince.
What does he mean by that?
He's just saying Trump's bad.
Ugh.
Like he's saying it's a biblical evil
that Trump embodies, so he's saying,
you know what the Kraken is?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't know what the Kraken is?
No, but I'm saying, yeah. What is it? Is it the Kraken, a part of the... I'll what the Kraken is. Yeah You don't know what the Kraken is
Jamison commercials
That it was a deep sea creature I didn't know
See creatures like Cthulhu or whatever I think that's what Cthulhu is right
It was a Kraken. Yeah, it's Cthulhu right now. I don't know. I know well that comic was gay
Real a
Kraken
That's my favorite is my favorite is if you go on an Instagram explore and it's like the it's just videos of like a big
Giant giant octopus lifting fake Japanese guys up. It's clearly AI
Every comment is just guy go go like, is this real?
Like I can't that's real.
I actually at this point, I don't even,
I don't know, I don't care anymore.
Everything's real to me now.
Yeah, everything's real and nothing is.
Yep.
It's beautiful. Exactly.
It's just a sea monster legend.
That's the point of the bit is that Trump will summon
some sort of biblical ending to this whole thing
that the Kraken will rise from the sea and kill us all.
Okay, well I want you to tell me who that is after we're done recording so I can look up how much of a loser their life
Is now how badly their life went since 2016?
No nice guy actually, but anyway
You had something spooky for us
Exit out of all these barstool clips that we played on the Patreon.
Holy shit, fuck Dave Portnoy.
Let me just go through here, exit out of these.
I love Dave, I'm wearing a jersey now,
trying to get a job there.
Trying to work at Barstool.
I'm trying to make 80 grand a year living in Manhattan.
Some people were tweeting at me, they're like,
dude, do you not want to get a job at Barstool one day?
Does he just, I saw that.
Would you not take a job at Barstool?
You don't want to get paid in Mitchell and Ness gift cards
You don't make you like a fourth of the money you're making now
You do but they get like they get free Celsius you don't want to get paid in Ohio Buckeyes sweaters
Okay, so this did you guys know Tarka Tucker Carlson just came out and admitted as a public he was yes
He just came out gay and I'm married to him
Sorry, he just came out he came out as well. He's he claimed he was mauled by a demon
Really? Oh, yes in this he went he did this Christian documentary, which is fine
I don't mind if Christians make documentaries there man allowed to make documentaries. Don't shit on that
I never do that. We don't shit on Christ on the. They're men allowed to make documentaries. Don't shit on that. Why would I?
We never do that.
We don't shit on Christ on the show.
That's the one taboo.
We save that for-
You do not make fun of Jesus.
We save that for minorities and women.
Jesus, I love Jesus.
Thank you.
He was a Jew though.
Take it back.
Well, you know, nobody's perfect.
Good slander.
Nobody's perfect.
And a lot of people say he was black.
Devin, I just want to let you know that when you die,
you might get sued by God for saying something
What if you go to heaven it's just Tel Aviv
Just got walk around like have you tried a cucumber salad, it's really good this clip only has like 4,000 views
Here we go. You guys want to see Tucker Carlson all by demon.
I thought this was appropriate. It's Halloween. I'm wearing my pumpkin shirt. Oh, we used
to wear that as kids. I didn't even notice that. Yeah. This is the oldest shirt I own.
This shirt is probably you've been in that shirt. This very one by me. Wow. Yep. You
sucked me wearing it wearing the same shirt, but nine sizes larger. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
That's funny. That's cool.
Yeah, we've had that forever.
Right here, here we go.
Tucker Carlson, mauled by a demon.
I have not seen any of this yet.
I'm hoping it's good.
Do you think the presence of evil
is kickstarting people to wonder about the good?
That's what happened to me.
That's what happened to you?
Oh yeah, I had a direct
Experience with it In the milieu of journalism my dad's yeah
I'm one of those nines at night and I got attacked while by the way, I believe his dad is very wealthy
Oh, yeah, well his dad was the president of not like PBS, but something like that, right?
I think let me see it took a car. He was the president. He was like the CEO of like a
broadcasting Foundation. Yeah, Richard Warner Carlson That right. I think let me see it took a car. He's the president. He was like the CEO of like a broadcasting
Foundation. Yeah, Richard Warner Carlson
His dad was a bowtie
Yeah, Voice of America from 1986
1991 he ran Voice of America. Yeah, which was a big
Thing big deal
It's an international state-funded broadcaster I think that's
why people some people say he's a glowy why they say Tucker's a funded yeah yeah
I buy that interesting regardless let's yeah I like his broadcasting I just hate
that he were he puts that jacket on he goes no I'm a Montana yeah I'm a
worker man I'm a Yellowstone guy yeah Yeah. Yeah. No you were a you're a boat club faggot
You know
I kind of do the only reason I respect Tucker is it seems like he's
Keenly aware that all this is fake and he's just making money off of people in a very like even keeled way
Sure, like no he goes no none of this matters. I'm just going to make but he's very good at it
I admire his broadcasting ability. It doesn't feel like grifting to me with him for some after a certain
He's just doing his job at a certain point you believe you actually do believe everything. Mm-hmm
You're saying so I appreciate that. I don't think he believes a damn word. He's saying I think he does
I think he really does really he really does. He was bought by a demon. Yeah, that's true. God is talking
Okay, so that's the thing. Let's see if he's actually off of his rocker.
I think he does.
Or does he spin yarns for whatever program?
What if he was just on the subway and in 2008 he saw a Jewish guy
and he freaked out? He just flipped out.
Yeah. Oh, let's see here.
I was asleep with my wife and four dogs in the bed and mauled.
Oh, wait, let me rewind it.
He was asleep in his bed. I was asleep with.
In my bed. I love watching him.
He's like, he's like, I'm a man of the people. I like candles.
This is him after he took a huge shit.
He's just waving it around like it's incense. He just had diarrhea from eating taco.
Look at this pile of logs a guy came and cut for me and then fucked my wife's seat.
Logs a guy came and cut for me and then fucked my wife secretly
These guys like guys like Tucker always have a dog that was used to like to sniff out like black escapees To and like the 30s
It's an auction for the last chain game dog alive
Like it was all those old like whose line clips with like the last Civil War general ever yeah
with like the last Civil War general ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Somewhere just in my bed.
Nope, in my bed at night and I got attacked
while I was asleep with my wife
and four dogs in the bed and mauled.
Physically mauled.
In a spiritual attack by a demon?
Yeah, by a demon.
Or by something.
That's what I'm shooting, at the demon.
That's fucked.
Something
So I've heard about this so growing up someone came to me and Jace's
Christian University we attended in West Texas and Abilene, Texas. I remember someone telling me that.
They were they were missionaries, and any time they stayed in Abilene, Texas, they
said the most satanic spiritual activity
happened in Abilene more than any place they had been in the world.
They said even more than Africa or any place they've stayed.
They said at night. They said even more than Africa or any place. They've stayed they said at night
They were visited by demons. They were attacked physically attacked in their bed
This exact story that that Tucker is spinning right here and interestingly enough, you know, Daniel Johnson
The guitarist singer songwriter from Austin, Texas. God rest his soul passed away a few years ago
he
He wrote a song because he went to ACU our Christian
Master and you down. Yeah, I was living in the devil town didn't know was devil town
But he has a song called where he goes I have been to Abilene the devil has Texas
He's not bad when he was in Abilene. He saw and met the devil
It's not like something was
I'm not gonna say what does it yeah
Yeah, well he says first down well. Yeah, I guess you could piece that together
If you know our last day of yeah shit damn it okay
But how much of this is just you're losing your mind because where you live sucks ass, so here's what I personally believe I
Think that if you want to tune into that realm, that makes it real.
I think if you want to believe in poltergeists and ghosts and demons and things like that,
if you tune into that, if you believe it's real, it becomes real.
And these things are manifesting outside of you.
And I kind of do.
The brain is very powerful.
If I ever think I see a ghost ghost I shut that part of my brain
I'm not gonna believe it. I don't think it's real. I'm like alone in a house. It's dark
I get like a little spooked
I immediately go like I do not believe in this because I think if I do it will it goes away
Yeah, if you believe in it, then it like it just keeps yes
And I think it's the same way that people die and they think you know, they saw everything it's cuz they believed that they would
So your brain decided your brain to go along with there's a chemical release. I think they can yeah
And I think like people like I don't I don't want the chemicals to release by the way when I die
I want them to
You're a hardcore guy for your own brain. Yeah, I'm nine. I'm sober to the very end
Yeah, I'm sober to the very end. Your heart gorked.
Your heart gorked.
You go like, no dopamine.
Sorry, God.
I'm straight edge.
Straight edge.
No, the DMT is not going to release.
You were a drug addict, God.
I don't even take serotonin.
I don't let my brain do serotonin.
I've never felt happy.
Never smiled.
Never smiled.
I just go to shows and fuck 16-year-olds.
Yeah.
Well, it's kind of like, yeah, I do think it's like what you've pre-thought about,
what happens to you, or what you see.
Yeah, reality.
Oh my God, I saw an alien, like,
well you wanna believe in aliens.
You get to build your own storyline.
Your reality is shaped by your own,
the narratives that you create.
It's like how Al Pacino, he went to hell recently,
he died, and he was like, there nothing. Oh, yeah, I remember that
Yeah, you see I think cuz maybe Al Pacino has been the whole life thinking he's going to hell
He faked I he went into total darkness. Yeah total darkness
Yeah, when some people die and they go they come back and they go I saw nothing or they go. There was just nothingness
I'm like, oh you you might want to crack some behaviors up here, buddy
Yeah, if you're just gonna experience nothingness forever. It sounds like you live in total. That's yeah you live in a Samuel Beckett novel
That is crazy. But then at the end of the day, I still don't understand what heaven is doesn't make any sense to me
It's too good. You got to have bad. I don't get it
Yeah, it gives you like a psychotic break the idea of how I don't understand like the whole time
You're just like titty fucking Marilyn Monroe and wave into all your friends and family
You don't have in we don't you in here
You're trying to conceive of it with the senses that you have now
The senses you have now are built to understand that you like Celsius and you like big so unappreciate
Oh of life you can't
Appreciate of the moment to even think about heaven is a place
It's just
a bunch of scared everyone's so afraid everyone's all day I mean all day I'm
not afraid everyone I'm not afraid to go to heaven everyone's just fucking just
enjoy what's going on now everyone's so terrified of dying that they're constantly like trying to put in,
it's like putting money into a bank account
and they're like, it'll grow, like that type of shit.
It's like, who can fuck it?
You think heaven's a Roth IRA.
Spend money now, yeah.
Social Security won't be around
and neither will heaven when you die.
No, I'm kidding. I'm not even a nafias like that. And either will heaven when you die
No, I'm kidding I'm not even an atheist like that I believe I have the hope something's there something I hope I hope you get to heaven in it. Actually it is God going like no, it's just hitty fucking like that's all it is
I do think I whoever created us would be a real fucking
psychopathic asshole if he meant for us to
real fucking psychopathic asshole if he meant for us to constantly be talking about it and thinking about it
while we're already here and make rules based on
how we have to be to get in.
It's just ridiculous.
So many people all day, every day are like,
it's like, well why don't you just die then?
You're just so obsessed with this graduation
that comes in like 80 years.
Like live.
You're so busy preparing you don't actually live your life.
Exactly brother.
But if you were here and you kind of wiped
your default response to everything,
you could see everything with the eyes of a baby essentially.
Where the way the light's hitting everything,
you're studying this and that,
and every moment lasts forever. Nothing forever nothing, but you hear experience
Yeah, you could just like you know try to look at everything with you know just fresh eyes and
You know not move so fucking fast all the time
It's so bizarre you've only ever go down. You know did mushrooms you like went that you like saw like Satan and stuff, right?
Yeah, so I kept looking at this portrait. Am I in frame here? Yeah, I kept looking at this portrait of my family
Yes, you're in this picture. Oh, thank you. It was a church. I went to hell I
I'll never take mushrooms again, but I was looking at this photo of a church
Is it called the what are the pictures in church you take Jace where everybody can then there you get a binder you can?
Go throw the family
Oh, no, she's a whore now
They keep murder-suicide
So he was secretly gay and you're not gonna believe it. He was secretly that's all they're used for
Yeah, they're like yearbooks people have a church by the way every family's there with their phone number and you can contact them
I think there's a photo that they would hire a photographer you'd all go and every family would get a picture taken for a
like a
Pamphlet of just people and thank God for those photos because those photos are used in many Netflix documentaries to describe the horror that
Family went through yes, and they start zooming in on the father. Yeah. Yeah. Yep
Murder small-town murder. Yes
there's always like a documentary about a small-town murderer and
Murder small-town murder. Yes, there's always like a documentary about a small-town murder and
shows the two people that died or the one about the guy who believed in aliens and he molested everybody in the town abducted in Plainside that one that was a great when we fucks the whole fucking family to get to the kid
So much work that guy turns the dad gay fuck the mom
Everybody just to get the kid by the end. You're like, I, you're like, this guy's cool as shit. And you're like, you deserve it, man.
You get away with it. If you, if you want to fuck a kid so much, you fuck the dad.
I'm sorry. That's some oceans. Eleven shit. You pulled it off.
It's just him like a little conversation.
Little more.
He's fucking the shit out of the dad. He's not even gay, he fucks the dad.
Cause he talked to the dad in the fucking him, right?
The dad didn't wanna do it.
The dad, but then the dad was like,
I guess, you are hot, I am secretly gay.
He was a silver-tongued devil, honey.
That's how he turned the dad against the family, really,
and made the dad insecure in his position of the father.
As he tricked him into having gay sex with him even though he himself is not gay
They were any was the father away from the family this was fucked the kiss
I say was that was the guy who fucked the dad was the dad the top or the bottom do they get into that?
I think he just gave him a handjob
Okay, I don't know if they ever fucked fuck but he beat them after dinner on the dad
The dad does talking to the camera and it was the worst, he was like,
he thinks he's going to hell now.
He jerked me off.
He jerked me off.
He jerked me off and it was way better
than where my wife does it.
It's like he knew what to do,
cause he got one.
And then he just, he had them both eating out of his palm.
The wife wanted to fuck him, the dad wanted to fuck him.
So he would steal the kid, just,
she'd be gone, kidnapped for months on end.
And the cops would be like,
all right, you gotta stop letting him be around the family.
He'd come back like three, four months later with the kid
and they'd be like, hey, don't do that again,
but you're looking good tonight.
Like.
But you are looking.
But you are a devil, you.
Did you get a haircut?
You look at you, all right, me and the wife
are gonna play rock, paper,
scissors to see who gets to eat your cum.
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Great sex solved naturally were they a Christian family that he tricked? No, I think they were not to be rude
I think they were one of those families that just came off so retarded.
They seemed Christian. Yeah.
Like they could only possibly be not to be rude.
I don't know. Just see what they could only possibly be Christian
because they were just genuinely like baby brain.
They're so retarded.
Devin's fly has been open this whole time.
Devin's like, so these people are retards.
Because I was abducted in plain sight by that hot hunk.
Devin's dick's completely out.
He's like, let me tell you how it is.
I'm fucking rate darts.
My cock's out.
I'm like shitting myself.
Your dick's literally almost out.
You just see the whole plug.
It's just the tiny tip of your penis sticking out.
So let's hear out Tucker Carlson,
cause maybe it is real.
I've heard about this my whole life
with missionaries having
spiritual activity and then fighting people.
In Amblin specifically.
I've never heard of ghost hunters
having fights with demons and stuff.
Have you heard of ghost hunters having
critical fights?
I've heard of this with Astral Projection.
I've heard.
Yes, yes, yes, of course.
Famously, there's the Reddit post,
I think r slash astral projection. it's one of my favorites where it's a
It's a teenage witch who warned about trying to fight
Mohammed in the astral planes you try to fight the Muslim God Mohammed and she was like I barely escaped
He kicked the shit out of me. I barely skates with my life
Make sure you like got all your crystals with you because I think he's coming for all of us
Yeah, the Muslim God like fucking yeah, he wants to yeah, can you imagine Mohammed in the spirit plane?
Yeah running up on like, you know the 14 year old barista. Yeah who works at the gay coffee store
Yeah, I guess this is a thing. Yeah
Summon Allah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah cool. I guess it is a thing. I'm sorry Allah. That's their stupid god or whatever
Is he the oh, yeah, and then Muhammad is the
Their Jesus or whatever. Yeah, they're Jesus their prophet. Yeah, and that's what they call it. They go. This is our Jesus
Okay, here we go
Let's see what the hell happens here
In a spiritual attack by a demon. Yeah by a demon
Or by something unseen that left. Is that right?
Claw marks on my sides on my. So he left physical marks. Oh, they're still there. That's okay
So he might have been he maybe gained a lot of weight post Fox News and when he was in hiding and then he lost
The weight via stretch marks and that's when he gets on a hot tub with people
He has to tell them he got floppedop He got a scuffle with a demon
The demons really got my demon attack me and made me fat the demons name was Ronald McDonald
What the whole time it was the dad from in plain sight he made his way to Tucker and fucked him
He fucked him in the ass and scratched the shit out of his side. That's how you get on the show
Yeah, yeah Year and a half ago was your wife terrified. I know you were I wasn't I was totally confused
I woke up and I was couldn't breathe that I thought I was gonna suffocate
Did he ask me if he's terrified and he said I wasn't yeah your wife terrified. I know you were I wasn't I was totally
He goes I wasn't afraid at all. He goes don't don't tell anyone I was afraid. Yeah
He's no I was just I was just I go so he got raped by a demon he woke up and he went huh
He treated the demon he treated the demon like a lib
Shot on his Fox News he's like really so you really do believe in in you know petting zoos for trans people
Yeah, what do you mean by that? What do you mean by attacking me in my sleep?
Confused, I woke up and I couldn't breathe
and I thought I was gonna suffocate
and I walked around outside and then I walked in
and my wife and dogs had not woken up
and they're very light sleepers.
And then I had these terrible pains
on my rib cage and on my shoulder
and I was just in my boxer shorts
and I went and flipped on the light in the bathroom and I had four claw marks on either side underneath my cage and on my shoulder and I was just in my boxer shorts and I went and flipped on the light in the bathroom and I had
Four claw marks on either side underneath my arms
And on my oh my god. Wait, is this confirmation? Is he is he F to M?
Is he F to M and he got outed for having the scars from getting his tits removed?
Oh
He explains to people he might because there's always those theories from very, very far right wing,
like where we go when we go all people.
You can't even call them right wing.
It's a whole other thing.
It's where we go when we go all.
It's QAnon people.
Where usually they make memes
where they're trying to explain someone used to be a woman.
They zoom in on the, like one day you'll just see like
just the most random celebrity
and there'll be a meme explaining how they used to be a guy
and now they're a girl.
Transvestigators.
Yes, exactly. I love those guys when they're like, they'll just pick or like, they'll be a meme explaining how they used to be a guy or they're a girl investigators. Yes
I love that. I love those guys when they're like they'll just pick or like they'll be like Tony Romo
You can clearly see by the dimple in his chin that he used to be a woman. It's so funny
Yeah, it's always good and I I choose to believe everyone I could come across every time but maybe he is F2m
We're gonna find out
They're bleeding. I kind of am buying it. Doesn't he look like a woman to you guys? I could
get somebody I
Think I mean that looks a little bit. I mean that lady
Yeah, that looks like anybody's grandma really from a distance anybody's like lesbian grandma. Let's see
Is Tucker Carlson trans I saw somebody?
Transvestigated Kyle Renn house one time and I really enjoyed that. Yeah. Yeah, he could be yeah
I could see that a nice juicy ass
Real bubble but on him but on that's why they were trying to attack him at that protest
Trying to trying to get that ass. Oh, what's a pedophile that he killed right? You deserve you. You should be an ass parade. Yeah
Here we go. It's kind of a biological female
The skull is oval small ears
Here we go
Hmm
Yeah, no brow bone close
Ocular orbits, it's so low quality low cheekbones short neck
Hmm Ocular orbits. It's so low quality low cheekbones short neck Hmm
Yeah, that's why that pedophile skateboarder was trying to kill him. Mm-hmm, dude
He kind of does look like a woman. It is fine to be a pedophile skateboarder to pedophiles like you're what you're rad
It's pretty punk rock. There should be the name of a band pedophile skateboarders
Let's get back to the demon here, let's stay on. Let's stay focused. Oh, sorry. No, that was my fault.
The demon is trying to distract us. I can't investigate everybody I think is trans on the internet. We'd be here all day. Sure.
Wait, they were bleeding. They're bleeding, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, on my side so I wasn't clawing myself. I don't have long nails. Oh my God!
I think we're on this.
I'm not a woman, I don't have long nails.
Also, his name, Tucker?
What is he tucking?
Oh, right.
What is he tucking?
He's tucking his vagina back.
I guess that doesn't actually work.
Yeah, no.
We're kind of making this become a reality right now.
This is very strange.
This is kind of feels like when we were investigating
the Jimmy Fallon thing and it was like, okay, ha ha.
Like he did kinda and then we got into the corner.
It's all coming together.
We actually were tying everything together.
We're like, I think he's like running a trafficking ring.
Did you see Fallon with the Riz, the Rizler?
Oh yeah, of course.
Of course, of course.
He seemed really annoyed by them. I think that's an edit. Fallon with um with the Riz the Riz learn oh yeah
Annoyed by them I think that's an edit I don't think his face was actually like that because I watched it when it came on
Do you think he was a true fan because he didn't find the Rizler fuckable?
Horatio's he was like was like don't even bother capturing him after this he's used goods
Don't bother the dads already got to him.
The dad's already molested the Rizzler so much.
He goes, yeah.
He's used goods.
He calls the racer, he goes,
the dad gave the Rizzler's ass five boobs.
So he's useless to us.
Fit my hands anyway, but yeah, that happened.
So I'm not from a world where things like that happen.
I never heard of anything like that happening before.
I had no idea what that was.
I knew it was spiritual immediately.
You did?
Okay, that was gonna be my question.
Yeah.
Well, I don't understand to this day.
I'm not gonna put it forward.
You didn't try to refute the spiritual part
in your own mind.
You went right into the idea.
Well, it didn't make any sense and it doesn't now.
So, but I'm not from a, what do they call it?
Faith tradition that talks about things like that
or even acknowledges their existence.
Like, there's nothing like that.
I've never heard anybody say anything like that
in my whole life.
What was the next day like?
Well, the next morning I woke up and I thought
that was the weirdest dream I've ever had.
And then I saw blood on my sheets.
Does he actually live in a fucking tiny log cabin
like where Walter White waited out for years?
Does he actually live here?
I'm pretty sure he has a house in Newport, Rhode Island.
I think he's the Unabomber.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the classic rich guy thing.
You buy this literally so you can do interviews
at this place.
And then this is how you make your coffee,
you make your espresso, and then on the stove.
No, I can guarantee he does his interview there,
and then he's just like,
get me out of this filthy fucking town.
He gets to the nearest airport,
he goes, this fucking puddle jumper piece of shit.
Fucking small ass airport.
Fuck these people.
And there's no Jews.
How do I know I've made it if there's no Jews?
I need a Jew here to tell me if my show's good or not.
And I realized that was not a dream at all.
As I called my assistant,
it was like the only evangelical Christian I know
well enough to call with something bizarre like that, who was like the only evangelical Christian I know, you know, well enough to
call with something bizarre like that, totally bizarre like that.
And she said, oh yeah, no, no, that happens. Yeah, people are attacked in their bed by demons. What?
Yeah, so I mean I'm not leaving anything out and
his wife was just on it and I'm not pretending to understand that I can only see what
Sounds like it's like wife was trying to escape
To the to the you know yeah He goes once a month my wife gets possessed and she gets she's just really mean and yeah blood everywhere
People get attacked in their sleep by demons their wives when they're on the switch so I tried to kill him and gave up
Maybe he has I mean yeah, you might be into some nefarious stuff. I'm not really sure
I mean everybody to get in this gang in this to become a top elite
Become one of the guys you have to do some you have to either you have to do some stuff
that's really bad stuff we can't talk about on YouTube or
You have to be aware of some stuff people have done that are that about on YouTube or you have to be aware of some stuff
people have done that are that is very bad and you have to stay silent about it
so the way these things manifest with him I mean who knows the the things that
leak out of his dark psyche at night he goes no I was um you know you didn't I
didn't black out last night on a bunch of scotch and I got into self-mutilation in the bathroom mirror.
I wasn't in some bizarre Cronenberg scene
in a bathroom last night when I was drunk,
crying about all the kids I know being trafficked.
What actually happened is I was visited by a demon
and I'm in a spiritual war and I have to just love,
love nearer to thee ever more my my Jesus
So that I can protect myself in my sleep
From demons that are attacking me if the if God is on your side
Why are demons attacking you by the way if you're such a devout Christian? Why are demons attacking in your sleep?
Is that the sign of a man who is so spiritually strong that he's being visited by the devil at night
Nick attain withdrawals honestly last I checked. Yeah, maybe he forgot his ends
gay
Let I mean just last I checked
that's not if that's not a thing where like the
Where the most spiritually strong people are attacked by like demons?
where the most spiritually strong people are attacked by demons.
Yeah, because if anything,
God should be watching over you and protecting you.
In the Bible, at the side of Jesus,
don't the demons run?
They flee from him, they run from the pigs,
they all kill themselves at the side of Jesus.
I think they utter Jesus' name
and the pigs throw themselves off of cliffs
that are possessed by the demons in the Bible.
Well, Legion was thrown, cast away from that man's body into the pigs and then they ran
off the cliff.
Exactly, Jace.
Thank you for actually paying attention.
So Tucker's, the demon should have been thrown into his four dogs that he sleeps with and
then those dogs should have started putting their heads in blenders and various devices
around his house.
The dogs start killing themselves with various
shotguns he keeps around for props when people interview him,
that would have been if he was a good Christian man.
It doesn't make any sense to me, man.
I don't get it.
I call absolute bullshit right now.
In fact, I think in folklore,
people are usually visited by the devil if they request
that they are visited by him.
Isn't this the whole thing with Faust? With it, when Mephisto Mephistopheles comes to see him,
because he wants to make a deal with the devil.
The guy Mephisto comes to do the devil's bidding. Right.
You're only visited by the devil unless you're kind of talking to the devil
and asking for the devil to come see. Right.
So what does that? Who is this guy actually? Now I'm really wondering what's going on. Maybe he manifested the devil because come see right so what does this who is this guy actually now?
I'm really wondering what's going maybe he manifested the devil because he was trying to get his ex revenue to kick up
The shows were not really paying off might be a man back show
Hey, you just you know you want to play into the to the to the content you're doing guy from a thing called
Christianity, but hold on you Devin at the beginning before we started started this interview and I hate to call you up for being a hypocrite
But you said that this man believes everything he says Tucker yeah
Well, you got me
You got me I don't fucking know he probably does believe he was attacked by a demon
Yeah, we've also said he believes everything he says
because he's lied about it long enough
that he starts to believe it.
That he gets good at believing the lies.
I think these guys, they go conservative.
I mean, it's like the Russell Brand thing.
Like he's now praying to Jesus Christ.
The guy did heroin for 20 years
and you know, just like fucking bronze.
Well, you're allowed to be a sinner
and then love Christ, right?
Not in my book.
Once a sinner, always a sinner.
You're going to hell with your stupid the Thoris
You know is a my favorite discussion in a church growing up
So I raised their hand and they would go
Hitler before he killed himself if he asked for Jesus to come into his heart and to forgive him of his sins would Hitler go
To heaven and then the preacher would smile really big and say yes
Hitler would absolutely be in heaven
amongst us if he really had forgiveness in his heart.
And I thought you were gonna say that he goes,
he doesn't need any forgiveness.
No, that's what I always kind of,
like everyone would be too happy to answer that question.
They go, Ben, we actually refer to Hitler
as Jesus's revenge.
Hitler's got a free pass.
Yeah, Jesus said, oh, you want to fuck with me?
Wait till you hear from my dad.
It's so funny, like just the three people have their hand raised.
And then like he would call on one person like, yes, what's your question?
He's like, yeah, I have a question about Hitler.
And then you see everybody else's hand go down.
Yeah, they go. Yeah.
Pulling out notepads and pencils.
Hitler. No, my question was about him.
And they go, they go, they go, what if you're black?
Can you go to heaven?
They go, no you cannot.
And then the scariest one,
which is why me and Jace got baptized
as early as we really could,
which was, I got baptized when I was 12.
I don't know about Jace.
Yeah, I was 12 as well, I believe.
We don't, they drowned you and stuff?
They take you to the lake?
They Guantanamo bade me
Yeah, they know they are church. They're like dogs barking. I'm underwater
In church they have a little I'm not kidding a little hot tub behind the preacher
Mm-hmm in built into the wall and then you you go into the back room you put on the kids size hot tub very weird
It's a full of priest comments and full of the water the water is
tubes are all clogged shit. It's not bubbling like it should yeah, they're in they're in there like it's fucking like the playboy mansion at
Night yeah, but you go and you go and you you come forward and you go
I would like to be baptized and they take you into a back room where you change into
What the caddies at the Masters wear basically like a white jumpsuit and then you walk down.
It looks like the Walter White hazmat suit a little bit.
Right.
Yeah.
And the preacher grabs you and he goes, do you swear that you were pressured into this
by your family?
And that one day you'll start a podcast that builds an even bigger rift between the two
of you.
And I go, I do.
And then they dunk you underwater and bring you back up.
And then they bring you back up and then they lean in
and they go, now if you ever masturbate again,
you will go to hell.
You've been washed anew,
this is your one chance to stop masturbating.
And that's basically how it goes.
Did you do it in front of the church?
I did it privately, because I didn't want people to my my fat little titties when I came out of the water
You requested a private I requested a private baptism yet know what I would actually
Like like I was gonna come out and some guys like
Were you afraid the hot tub would overflow into the
I was like, were you afraid the hot tub would overflow into the
you got done like, like the clumps? No, the real reason was I was so convinced that I woke up in the middle of night because I was like, I was
like, I was like the working in right now, right now. And I'm going to go
to hell forever. And it got me in like this panic state. I just started
like weeping and I woke my mom up. I was like, can I get baptized? Like
right now, can we baptize me right now and it was like a Monday or whatever?
And she called the preacher up that morning and we like drove it because I was convinced like if I did for some reason
I was convinced the world was gonna end if I didn't get baptized right now. I would go to hell
Yeah, and that's probably why mom thought you were gay because she was scared. You're a gay for ten years. Mm-hmm
He's terrified. You were a gay terrified horrified that I was gay little did she know her nightmare came true
Yeah, a little did she know I secretly still am lip-fag
No, I got baptized I think
In front of the church, I think no
I think it was a private thing but dad called some of the oldest bastards in town to come witness it
Sure, they were sort of all standing around like King of the Hill
Mm-hmm this bastard is in town to come witness it. Sure. They're sort of all standing around like king of the hill. Mm hmm. Like they have like long pieces of straw in their teeth
and they were just watching me with their like suspenders popped and stuff like
it like they were sexually getting.
And I think about it as like a sexual thing for them.
They're all watching me. Prospect.
They're all back there watching me undress as I was getting into my garb
to be a bad type. Very strange.
Now I think about it, actually. Well, yeah.
Yeah, those were it. I had a private. Yeah, boy. Yes, sir. garb to be a bad type very strange now I think about it actually well yeah yeah
those were I had a private yeah boy yes sir yeah you're nice and deep
photographic memory son this is going in the spank man that and I don't dip him
like a chicken nugget you ought to duck that boy I'm salty like let him let him Oh, Trillac. Let him sit. Let him sit under the water for a little bit.
They're sitting there eating edible panties
like fruit roll-ups, this is why I think it's drooling.
They go, let him get moist under the water
for a little bit.
Oh, that is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
Yes sir, let him into your heart.
Just open up and let him in.
Let that man inside you.
Now you're nice and clean and ready to get defiled.
Oh, it's so nice when they're pure.
There's a lot of fighting.
I remember there was one,
you might not remember this, Ben, I vaguely remember,
we always had African immigrants who would come.
We would, they'd send, you know, they're from Ghana specific from Ghana
They would always seem like a guy knows where that is. Yeah, they would always send a guy named like Reginald
You know van Smith, you know, his grandpa was a Nazi and now he's in the south
He would go to Ghana and they would bring back a guy named like um butu
And then um butu would like after the preacher be like does anyone want to come down and get saved in a boot?
Do go like I do I want to get down and get saved then a boo-doo go like and then they would down I remember they
guys I've never been in water yeah I never I please let me have the water
I'm so thirsty no one in Abilene Texas would give me water I said they shoot at me, but he he was getting black water
Too clear for you and do go
That person yeah, take him to the money water. Yeah, he comes out the water they go. He's still black
What is wrong with this spill? Just scrubbing it
Scrubbing his skin off with a sponge
His skin's raw
Shit now he's red! Now he's the devil!
Then they blow his head off
We get his oil rocks now
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But they don't they dunked him any he when he went underwater
He freaked out and started like like his hands went all over the place. It's cuz he was like, I don't know
He just not used to that much water or something and then
He like got it. He was the darkest night would like Wesley Snipes dark
I remember he like freaked out under the water and like, you know
You just like look at your dad and he gets like a this a nod like that Jeremiah Johnson jiff just like that's right
That's right
Cuz you can't swim is what you're saying. Yeah, that was the inside joke. Yes. Yeah, I know what you mean
Yeah, I got I but I did I get baptized in front of all the old geezers
I don't even know why I brought up the baptism thing by the way, Chase
I don't I don't know why I you were, you know, you're talking about
being born again in the blood, you know,
the spirit called you.
Why'd you guys get baptized so late?
I brought it up for a reason.
I thought you were supposed to do it as like a baby.
No, that's Catholic shit.
That's for fucking sinners and child pedophiles.
It's so much more cinematic Catholic stuff though.
You know?
It's always like...
Well, they believe in ancestral sin, so a baby is born.
It's cool, baptism in the Catholic church,
it's like a baby
They do the thing and then it you know, it's smash cuts to like three different murders. Sure. It cuts back. It's cool
Yeah
It's like the Godfather
Like it and at the beginning of the witch the baby gets taken off into the forest and killed by the witch at the very beginning
Sure. Yeah, and then they go our our child is in hell because the child had a bit bad
Baptized. Yeah, the Catholics believe that babies are born centers and we were like
I mean how retarded are they? Well, the thing is
The babies don't go to hell though they go to purgatory
I
Smite you baby
The baby just laid there he never came on to me he had plenty of opportunities He said goo goo gobb gobb, but he didn't say with a shit
It's just a fun voice to do I think we're trying to do country bumpkins a little bit
Country bumpkins a little bit country bumpkin Catholic Catholics
Is a gay apologist fuck Pope Francis
Like too liberal for like yeah, we grew up with yeah Yeah, if all says I'm scares the fuck out of me, by the way, it feels very satanic
I know Jace I know you got a lot of messages when I went off about Catholicism
Well, I thought it was satanic just one
Yeah, people get very manly
Retarded okay, he's not listening to the show anymore. I was like so everything we talked about his
Minute you talk about the Catholic fucking church that has its own country worth like a trillion dollars
Yeah, you know the only good priest in the Catholic Church is that guy who denied the Holocaust, right?
Then they kicked him out and then they kept letting him back and they go all right he had some whole routine about the
Like he was a tral spree well where they were like, well, he's still in the week. Yeah, you just got to think about what you did
He's Ron our test. Yeah, he's right. He's met a world peace. So you guys so your church
It's like if you guys died before 12 you go you're not going you're you know
You auto go to heaven and I remember being in youth group and like they because they'd always wait
What you auto go to heaven in in our church if you die before you're of age to get baptized
No, no, no, no, no, that's not it. It's it's if you
Interest christ you have to understand right and wrong once you can understand right and wrong of age to get baptized. No, no, no, no, no, that's not it. It's, it's, if you, In church of Christ?
You have to understand right and wrong.
Once you can understand right and wrong,
you need to get baptized.
If you understand right and wrong,
you have to be baptized, then you go to hell.
If you're like nine, you know you should get baptized
and you don't have the courage to stand
before the congregation and get washed in the blood,
then you die and go to hell.
But if you die at two is what I'm saying.
If you die at like two,
Cause you don't understand right and wrong.
You don't understand right and wrong, you go to heaven.
So we would be in youth group and they were, you know,
all these insane hypotheticals around who,
it's just all who gets into heaven and people would be like,
well, so shouldn't we just, you know,
shouldn't we just like kill all the children?
Like, wouldn't that be kind?
And the preacher's like, dad, there is an argument for that.
It would be better if my kid was growing up to be a sinner. I would rather kill him at one year so it's like enjoying him in heaven one day
Weird shit like that man. Yeah
Okay, could you go because if you think about it, it's a blink
This is the blink of an eye and then it compared to eternity sure
So I remember our preacher who I always did like our preacher, but he always had this anytime the conversation got to like
Retarded and like theoretical he goes. Yeah. I remember one guy came up to me
He's like so if I you know, there was a guy about to die in the middle of the desert
He came up crawling up to you says I want to be baptized. I repent of my sins. I'm about to die
There's no water to baptize and what would happen? He goes I go over the hill and to the oasis
He goes where that come or goes the same place She made up that story
You know like just like an example of like you know enough with the hypotheticals like who fucking knows basically yeah that makes sense
Yeah, yeah, it's it gets too gay you get to in the weeds just like everything you know sure yeah
Dims get in the weeds you damn right for warmongers just so they can kill babies.
But people do become nerds for the Bible.
It is like basically like a little D&D people like growing up.
What's that? Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's it's all a bunch of gay horseshit.
Yeah. But you know, it's not gay.
It's Tucker Carlson getting attacked by a demon.
Yeah, which is definitely, definitely true.
It happened to me and that did happen to me, and then I was seized with this very intense desire to read the Bible, which I then started without any study aids.
I was compelled by all the ad revenue I would gain by reading the Bible.
I didn't have any, I'm not interested in editorializing in the Bible. I just want
to read it and see what's in there myself. I have very low levels of trust for Christian
pastors, most of whom, you know, I'm just not a fan at all. And sorry to say that.
There's one passage that says that George Floyd did have fentanyl in his system. And that's and that's a ax 837 ax
Ax 837 and lo George Floyd had Fentanyl in his system
And lo Derek Chauvin show was sand at the right hand of God a day of judgment amber lamps 316 says. And so I just didn't, I don't want to hear other people's opinions.
I just want to see what's in there.
And I, so I spent a year and a half reading it and then I started rereading it.
And it was just a transformative experience for me, but I'm not, you know, holding myself
out as someone from whom you could get theological advice because I'm not, I, of course. I don't know. I don't understand any of it.
But yeah, that happened to me.
Do you think God allowed the demon?
I have no idea what happened. All I know is I was dead asleep with my wife and dogs
and I woke up with claw marks on my ribcage underneath my arms.
And it didn't even make sense. My arms would...anyway, whatever. I'm not...
No one has to believe me. I don't care.
It doesn't matter.
But that happened to me.
And so I just was like, wow, that's real.
Whatever that is, I'm not even sure what it is.
But very real.
And so then that presence of that evil.
I mean, why is he, there's almost a sense of hope.
It's like, I think this means you're going to hell, Tucker.
They're trying to get you while you're alive.
Yeah, because there's no evidence of God,
just demons in the story.
Just demons, he's acting like it was so beautiful.
I know that's real.
It's like, yeah, you're being attacked by Satan's keepers.
And he goes, you know, and I just,
I have this realization that there's a chance
there is no God, only the devil.
And we never think about that.
No matter what you do, you will go to hell.
I mean, you better hope that that was like Laura Loomer
there a little early to do the show.
Sure.
Ooh, yeah.
You better hope it was someone.
Laura Loomer crawling up your walls like hereditary
on the ceiling just banging her head into it.
Yeah.
I don't think she's that ugly, by the way.
I've seen some pics.
I mean, I don't know if they're edited.
She looks pretty horrific sometimes.
Yeah, she looks like the-
It's awful.
Yeah, she looks like the- It's awful.
Yeah.
She looks like the metal dragon that eats cars at monster truck rallies.
She looks insane.
She looks like a chimp ate her face off and that's the best thing you can do with the
reconstructive surgery.
And the doctor's like, damn, we fucked it up a little bit.
Yeah, fuck.
This is worse than how we normally do.
We should have just left that gaping hole in her skull.
Type in Laura Loomer ugly though, because you'll pull up pics from before she got all this
work done is that
That's not like it's not like that. That's not what she looks like
That's not what she looks like. That's also photoshopped to shit
Yeah, you gotta pull type in war loomer ugly and get a real fucking looks
That's the she looks like the the pull that picture up again though. Pull this one out. Yeah put up on the screen
This is from the famous book the The Girl with the Swastika Tattoo.
This is a hit piece on her by BBC, so I don't know if that is Photoshopped or not.
Here's her with Trump. So we know.
And they all say she like sucked them off or whatever.
I mean, she does. She sucked them clean.
No, who knows? But people that's the people are saying that the demorats want you to believe. Yeah fuck
Yeah, I think people in trunks like
Insiders are saying like yeah, they were like spending the night together
CNN makes her look like this. That's what I'm saying
I don't know if she's as ugly as because I've seen photos or my Jesus Christ
But it's funny how that the left will take a picture of that and be like look
It she's ugly, but we also if this person was a leftist we'd want them in every TV show and to be like a beauty standard
Yeah, that's a beautiful woman. That looks like she would be you know that's like Beanie Feldstein or something. That's
See does she actually look like this I mean is that really her I mean
See does she actually look like this? I mean is that really her I mean
Possibly she looks like kind of like a jigsaw white woman jigsaw like if she only you just like the only kidnapped black teenagers It's like she got trapped in a Palm Beach tan
Hold on this one. Have you if you seen this one right here? I'll show you
It was right fucking damn. I thought I saw it
You know, she was like pretty pretty good-looking and then just like her
Yeah, dude, isn't she only like 27 to I mean that's insane
Dude, that looks that looks like you got botulism in your face and like the the dermis under the upper dermis died
I don't know man. That's a demon. Yeah, that's the demons who'd killed. Yeah attack Tucker Carlson, but here's been her on our podcast
See, it's like that's like okay. That's just a woman to me
Or something we watch your podcast. What is she this? I mean that's that's
My that's that's gotta be Photoshop. That's insane. That was like the yeah that she looks like the she's on the Real Housewives of Mars
What do you want me to go to
What is she do what is her what is she? Oh, I don't know. She's just another one of the people
I don't know what if you watch your pocket look at her pockets. Let's see if she looks like that
Her pockets is just like call her daddy
It's just her name being like Kofi and on like, what was the first time you got fingered?
Do you think she she's probably on Rumble?
Hold on.
Yeah, she's a rumble girl.
Hmm. Rumble.
Rumble.
Here she is.
Oh, she's live right now.
Loomer unleashed.
Oh, shit.
OK, coverage.
Hold on.
Um.
She just talks to senators and stuff on her show?
There's just
There's just ads
in her show? Well no dude, this is Rumble
where like the ads are insane.
Right. You know I've said this joke
on Hate Watch before but I'll say it again
now. You wanna know why they call it Rumble?
Why? Cause the truth is rather shaky on there is from nothing.
Very good. Very good.
Mad men look at them like madmen.
Yeah, it was fucking.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Oh, it's just it's yeah, it's like it's like watching porn.
How can you make me Senator Scott?
Oh, she looks. See, that's her, right?
Yeah, she looks like I can hear.
She's terrified. OK, finally. I would I will argue, I think that that's her right? Yeah, she looks like I can hear she's terrified
I will argue I think that that lighting is specifically built to make her not look insane But you can tell she's got gone a little she's on the verge of too much work done. Oh
Yeah, I mean, it's the filler the filler is the problem. I mean, that's a human skull
Yeah, that's that's one of the Easter eggs in halo to
Why does she have like a framed picture of Mitch McConnell in an alligator's mouth back there today do Republicans hate Mitch McConnell I
Thought they liked
Yeah, who fucking knows at all
Do we even finish this although we didn't finish this okay what he says about the demon. Oh, yeah launches something
That's it
Christian Christianity's movie
Well, wait, but why would it not be because you can't do an apostrophe I guess in the URL
So it'd be Christianity am I missing something here? Yeah
It's cuz there can't be plural
Christianities that's odd. It's spelled with a Y or an ie. I can't see an ie. I
Christianity's well, then yeah, we're all right. Oh
Like the study of the Christianities like the different
Religions of Christ. There's only one Christianity. Yeah, it's the Church of Christ. That's exactly right
I'm going to Christianity's movie calm now to see what's going on. Oh
It's right there there is actually a
Trailer yeah, it looks boring as shit though. It looks insanely boring look at this
There is God and it yeah, just typical it's just gonna make it seem like you know, everything is very dire and you know
It's what is a Christian?
We drink for net
There's a shot of for now, yeah, why is he drinking for net?
Christian bartender wrong it it's a dark. It's so dark. It has to be for that. Yeah, it's a liqueur
It's like it's a bartender thing. Yeah, yeah at the end of the end of the night. We like to all take a shot
Kind of do this for a living my name is John here's
I kind of do this for a living my name is John here's why is he
in this restaurant Is that muzzy music? I don't know it just sounds another country ish to me. It's inside American
It's not American to me not Christian try we throw this Georgian supra. It's a dinner
Oh, Georgia all these toasts and ideas and emotions and inevitably the question comes up like you think you what is a Christian?
An evangelist a missionary a martyr a healer a Jew. What is a Christian? An evangelist, a missionary, a martyr, a healer, a saint.
What is the church, a denomination, a building and a-
God, it sucks!
Fuck, these people are so boring.
God damn it.
Do you ever get just so mad at the boring nature of people?
It sounds incredibly boring.
Holy shit. I hate it.
I hate it all.
Fuck me, there's like six entertaining people on the internet and that's it.
And the unfortunate thing about documentaries is there's no barrier to entry for people.
Oh, everyone has a documentary.
No fucking barrier. Everybody just with a camera is making a documentary about just
just utter horse shit. Yeah, it's been in nine years.
Yeah, it's the it's the... Remember back when GarageBand was a thing back in 2010 and everybody
was making beats? Yeah. That's what's going the member baton when garage band was a thing back in 2010 and everybody was making beats
Yeah, that's what's going on with documentaries now
Yeah, just the you're the most boring guy, you know in your hometown is making a documentary for some shit
And they can all post go fund me is on the the the Facebook page and raising of money for it and you get this
Yeah sucks my dick. They're like I'm making it spent nine years made a documentary about soup. Yeah, the history is soup
Yeah, Navy bean soup. Mm-hmm. And they go we do not cover Navy bean. We could not afford that
They did not make the final cut. Yeah, I think that was all I had to show you guys
I wanted to get into the spooky demon stuff and demons
But I'm glad you guys are believers in the demons and the ghosts and all that well your non believers
But you realize if you were believers these things would come
Come true and this Halloween
I hope you all refute that in the name of the Lord and you don't allow those things to become a presence in your
Life don't don't let them
You know grab you by the the coattails. Don't let them get a you guys allowed to have Halloween is Halloween like
Yeah, we could do we did waste you we did Halloween. Yeah
Yeah, that's more like Mennonite shit where you can't do Halloween
Yeah, we dressed up as like Jews and gay people and you know
There's some that the thing is is that
And I've had to come to peace with this because I know I'm a hater
You know that about me. I'm a hater. Of course. It is what it is.
I drink the haterade.
But at the end of the day,
I do believe that families who are too into Halloween,
you should call CPS.
When you see a mom and a dad
that's way too into the costumes and dressing up,
and they always dress up as evil, fucked up,
weird things.
It's a bizarre loophole,
because it is all based in bad, demonic shit happening and like scaring children.
Yeah, it is. And blood and guts.
It scares the hell out of me. Death and gore.
I don't find it cute at all. It's very interesting.
Isn't it? It's a pagan ritual, too, right?
It started as like a pagan, like Harvest Festival.
Yeah, I'll go with that. I believe so. Yeah, I'll go with that.
I think it's utter brainwashing. It is weird. I think it's a will have like a headless man on their front lawn and their kid
They have little kids and they get their kids
Man hours on these costumes for them to look. Yeah
Beheaded man out front we're celebrating
I do love when you go you're driving past the neighborhood There's a guy who got really into violent Halloween on his lawn
And there's like a realistic dummy of a man swinging from a tree
And you're like what the fuck is that like the next broken and it has like like the trichinosis veins coming out of like the news
And you just thought you just realize it's July and you're in the south
They go fuck Juneteenth.
Man, I really encourage everybody
that if they know a family that's two,
the mom and dad are two and a Halloween,
it's usually a big family, six or seven people.
Maybe park outside their house.
Yeah.
Maybe install security,
maybe install like some wires in the walls
so you can listen and kind of see what's going on in the house
Because you might save a life. It's weird who knows what's really going on in that house. They're that into Halloween
It's strange fucked up. It's not cute people really need a fucking quick
I don't also a weird thing like preparing kids to be scared
You know mm-hmm like pop out
You know like things coming you know like people that set people that spent a lot of money into you when you were a kid and you walk up the walkway and things keep coming out and scaring you and she's like, you guys preparing me and be like molested by my uncle or like what is it's bizarre camp for getting molested a little bit.
It is kind of running through a molest. That's what a haunted house is really.
Well, that's the trick or the treat. You tricked into being a treat for a pedophile.
But you get a lollipop.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you get a lollipop. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You get a bag full of candy helps the medicine go down.
I've always found Halloween very interesting.
I mean, I like it to an extent it's grown on me
as I've gotten older.
Me too.
I was never big into Halloween as a kid.
I don't like Halloween movies.
Oh, come on.
Halloween movies are amazing.
I like spooky movies.
I hate Beetlejuice, I'll say that.
What the hell?
You son of a bitch.
No, Devin didn't get it as a kid.
I never saw that as a kid. De it also hates on Shaun of the Dead to
Hate on Shaun of the Dead a hater. No, I'm not a hater. Of course. I am actually but
Okay, no, I
Like the guys that are in Shaun of the Dead, but I went and saw it. I never saw it
I never saw Shaun of the Dead. Okay, I went and saw it at the AMC
and I it was fine.
But I like years later you saw it like
like two months ago.
Never seen it. And I was excited.
And I just I was you had it over.
It felt dated or so.
It was very it wasn't that funny to me
anymore. It wasn't funny.
It's like watching episodes of the
office. Hot fuzz.
Have you seen hot fuzz?
Now I have. That's what I told her.
I love that fuzz more. You got to that fuzz is much better. Shaun of the Dead
I also don't really want to watch but like, you know in 2004 we hadn't we hadn't had a Chris Hardwick
Yeah, I get it. No, don't even let him have this narrative because if you go back and watch space
Goat I'm not like I have a narrative because he gets out of the car and he says the n-word
It's your version of when you make fun of pineapple express for thug life
It's the same exact fucking thing. Yeah. Yep. It's the same thing
It's the only funny part of the movie in my opinion when I saw it
I did it is what not amused when he gets out of the car and he goes
Yells it. What is it?
On NBC go up. I'm not gonna know the public episode. I don't remember there's an n-word in it
Yeah, it's like Nick Frost. He pulls the carp and he gets me goes. What's up?
You know see that was one of the least funny parts of the movie to me personally
I don't remember in fact. I have a copy. I edited that part out. I download I rip the blu-ray
Maybe so much zombie shit has been made like I also that's what I'm saying care about the zombie stuff
It wasn't that like I wasn't ever you literally have to get in a time machine back to to that
It's like, you know, you're watching like killing of a Chinese book and you're like, well, you know, I've seen uncut gems
It's better shot than that. You're a Michael Keaton hater. That's how much
I'm also not getting into this gay shit that people do where it's like they're fake personality now. It's like
shit that people do where it's like their fake personality now it's like Bill fucking Murray is amazing my bill Murray is amazing and so is Michael
Keaton they're great he's a great actor he's fantastic actor Beetlejuice's
Beard is a very good movie I like Beard you saw Beetlejuice is one of the
greatest movies my girlfriend and so is heavyweights years ago and I was it was
insufferable sitting in the theater. Oh It's great good song
My daughter loves it yes for baby dances to it it's for babies
Wow I like real
Deer hunters on my Halloween
There's an hour
The most terrifying thing I've ever seen.
That's spooky.
How when you dress up as the Viet Cong
fucking Russian roulette guy.
I don't know.
Patreon dot com slash lemon party to hear more of these,
you know, opinions of you.
If you want to sign up.
What are your favorite Halloween movies?
Halloween.
The new one with Danny McBride.
That one's great, too
But the original fucking kicks insane amounts of ass
Hocus Pocus also from the dizzy channel kicks insane fucking ass. I rewatch this actually pretty bad
Halloween town
If you're talking about there's there's amazing scary movies around Halloween.
Like Friday the 13th kicks ass.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,
I know it's not like a Halloween movie,
but it is like a slasher kind of.
Scary movie.
Weatherface is a, you know,
in the Halloween canon a little bit.
Sure, okay.
But Halloween is one of the,
I mean, John Carpenter kicks insane amounts of ass.
The Thing is one of the greatest movies ever made.
The Thing's amazing, but that's not a Halloween movie, is it?
No, no, I'm just saying I'm sticking up for John Carpenter.
And, you know, and all things spooky and scary.
Michael Keaton's epic.
Yes.
Patreon.com.
I love Michael Keaton.
I do, I love Michael Keaton, by the way.
Oh, and by the way, sign up at,
sign up at BenAvery.Wive, so you can know when my new website goes up for the stream you're leaving the stream
Yep, I'm leaving the show. Apparently Joey thought I was starting a podcast on that too
It's just I was like Ben starting his own podcast. I was like what it's doing the live streams
I've been doing for a year and a half now on the limit pretty good channel
Joe Joe's trying to so that division amongst the podcast
Anyway, go sign up at Ben Avery dot live is the new website
That's going to be launching soon there
You can plug in your email then you'll know when it goes up and we're gonna have a lot of fun over there on that website
Love love you guys
Devin and Jace love you guys
Love you guys.
And just real quick, Devin and Jace, love you guys.
I do love Michael Keaton, I think.
No, I know.
No, no, no, you have to stand by this.
He's great.
He's great in Birdman, he's great in the other guys.
The Founder, he's pretty good.
That's my favorite movie of all time, The Founder.
Well, The Founder taught me about business.
Also Spotlight, a lot of people forget about Spotlight.
Spotlight's overrated, in my opinion.
Yeah, it's good.
It's a TV movie that got a lot of attention
because we all were like, all right.
But it's good.
We care about kid fucking. It's good. It's good. Tom McCarthy's got a lot of attention because we all were like, all right. We care about kid fucking.
It's good.
It's good.
It's good.
Tom McCarthy's made a lot of better movies in Spotlight.
Yeah, I think you took the Catholic cool aid there
a little bit, Dev, but that's fine.
You're brainwashed by a lot of corporate entities
and the Catholic Church has made their mark on you,
I'm pretty sure, because you've watched all of these
mob movies where they go to Catholic Church
and they pray and they do this and that.
And that's why you forgive the kid fucking a
Little bit and you undermine what spotlight I like the idea that I hated spotlight because it like it shed a light
I'm like goddamn it. They found out
It was our little secret
God bless you all happy Halloween to everybody. I guess they're listening on Tuesdays always way over
But anyway, happy Halloween. Well, we'll see you listening on Tuesdays all the winds way over but anyway happy Halloween
Well, we'll see you over on the patreon guys buddy. Bye Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, music would play and Polina would whirl.
Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina, wicked and evil while casting a spell.
My love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell.
One night a while young cowboy came in, Wild as the west Texas way.