lemonparty - 111: Mandatory Female Guest

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

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We're not turning your mic up. I'm on that light beam, always in my face. Talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of reasons. We're not turning your mic up. Oh, cool. We're having you on the show. We're not giving you a microphone. This is, am I on now? We're giving you a mic how like

when you're playing Xbox with your little brother and you give him a controller that's not plugged in. That doesn't work. Awesome. Check, I think everyone can hear everybody now, right? Yeah. We good? I think so. I can hear you. Are women's voices amplified?

Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, I can hear you. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, hey get I think I can hear you our women's voices amplified. Yeah, unfortunately, I can hear you So sorry the yeah Gavin Newsom said we had to have a woman on the podcast so it's the California Tech Yeah, I've you guys are trying to spite your fans because they're starting to ruin your life and yeah, so we're having on a 20 year old Girl, you were confused about what girl you were like girl 20. No girl. No were confused about what girl? You were like, girl? 20 year old girl? No, no, no, I wasn't, no, no. A lot of people are really confused about my gender. I get a lot of DMs.

No, they're not. Well, they purport themselves to be. I get a lot of DMs kind of all the time being like, the brow bone is making me think you've got two balls. Oh, yeah, like you're like, you're like, me. Yeah, no, yeah, I mean. They might be nagging as like a pickup thing. They're trying to fuck me. They're like, you look like No, yeah, I mean. They might be nagging as like a pick up thing. They're trying to fuck me.

They're like, you look like my nephew, let's fuck. You have like a Mia Jovovich thing going on. Well, thank you, that's kind. I saw you on the red, Pop Craze on Twitter posted you on the red carpet of Enora. Yeah, because there's a gay guy who works at Pop Crave who really treats me like I'm the second coming of Shirley Temple.

You were doing it, you were killing it. You looked like you dated a venom or something. Yeah, I had a nice dress on with my tits sticking out of the bottom. I wanted to remind people, listen, like I'm still sexually viable. I might be aging, but I'm still. No, you look like you hang out with bats.

Yeah, yeah, the bats are my friends. My cousins are bats. You play into that whole thing too much. By the way, I had to mute you on Twitter. You're insufferable on Twitter. It's nonstop. Am I supposed to reach out? Is she mad?

We were all worried about you one morning without you killed yourself. Everybody always fucking thinks I killed myself. Like you tweet, like this is the end. You gotta look at the common denominator at that point. Everybody always thinks I fucking killed myself. It's like no because then if I'm dead, I can't tweet That's right. Yeah, you'd figure out a way. Yeah. Yeah, that is so actually that is so true You'd be in hell like looking for the wife, but that's where yeah, there's a lot of attention in death. They're very true But I also don't really believe in an afterlife

and so I wouldn't be able to reap what I've sown. That's the worst thing about killing, I would love to kill myself, but you can't see the love coming. What's cool is a coma, because that's just kind of logging out for a little bit and they wipe your ass. But I've been worried, if I ever go into a coma,

because you still be shitting when you're in a coma. You still be shitting. You still be shitting when you're in a coma. So like. You still be shitting. You still be shitting when you're in a coma. And so what I'm worried about is like. It's good, thank you Trayvon. Imagine if, imagine if like you're shitting in the coma and they're not wiping you that well and then you wake up and you kinda got dooky ass.

Yeah. Like imagine your family is like crowding around you and they're like, we're so happy you're awake, you smell like shit bitch, you know? Right, yeah. That's kind of what I worry about and the bitches be like and bitches be like and so the bitches be like damn bitch you got shit on your ass. When you go into like Chet Hanks speak is that why you are called racist on Twitter I don't know what you ever do. Cause I don't, Ivy like.

I tweeted like recently. I don't get what you are. I tweeted like. I'm so confused. You've been, I've met you multiple times. You've hung out at my house. I think you're talented. You have like it for lack of a better word.

Thanks Devon. But I don't, how'd you get bit? You got like, didn't you kill yourself when you were 13? Well, I've publicly threatened to a lot. But that's not why they don't like me. That's actually one of the more redeeming things that I've done in most people's eyes is almost get close to it.

But why are you, on Twitter, it's people love you or they think you're the Corella DeVille of black people. Yeah, well I tweeted, I was the only girl at the ditty party they all said no to. And I tweeted like my pussy could make a rapist retire and like when I was 14 I tweeted something about Harriet Tubman getting hit in the back of a head with the weight and like and it's because they're not really like Those those people you were like an internet person so they don't have like comedy sensibilities And so they take it seriously. It's like a twitch streamer doing something fucked up Yeah, okay, I'm basically the twitch streamer of women got you okay?

Yeah, and you're the only woman to fuck every regular on kiltoni. Yeah, you fucked them all at once Yeah, but even the all the crippled guys and stuff yeah Casey rocket took me on Yeah shit his what wait I'm trying to do like a crab walked into your pussy crab Yeah, yeah, you're just really comfortable going into it. You're slipping into it. I'm influencing you. I'm Casey. I like Casey rocket I'm not shitting on him anymore Okay, I enjoy Casey Dup, okay. Well, I've heard he's a good guy. I've never said anything bad about him. I don't know what you're talking Well, I'm so nice. a good guy. I've never said anything bad about him. I don't know what you're talking. Well, I'm so nice

I'm a loose. No, listen, well, I fight I fuck David Lucas. This is what you guys like to hear Lucas, yeah This is you guys like this is what you guys you bring a woman on your show and you're like tell us about every Person's dick that you've ever sucked in your life. Yeah. Well, we're stern guys, you know, I Did David Lucas tie you down like Oliver's travel? Yeah, he choked me out and he fucked me in the bathtub when I was passed out Yeah, yeah, do you fuck all the crippled guys on kill Tony too, yeah Yeah, there's a bunch

There's a couple other guys that look like if like the Fon was run over, they come out every week and they're called legends. They were just in a motorcycle accident. They walk on stage. People shaking. Guys that walk out of the morgue into Kiltoni. They wake up on the cold metal slab. They're like, huh? They're like, you're on.

I have a friend who went on Kill Tony, and they eviscerated him. And yesterday, he called me from rehab, pitching me a screenplay idea. So that's kind of who they're pulling from that bucket. Interesting. Is a teenage boy who goes to rehab, but is still somehow finding final draft.

So yeah, OK. Did you ever have a thought in your mind where you're like, gonna actually get on kill Tony No, she's tweeted about she tweets her tweets about Tony make me laugh Yeah, I've tweet like Tony Hinchcliffe is a pernicious faggot who I wouldn't trust with a $20 bill Tony Hinchcliffe is a gay rapist Tony Hinchcliffe has an avian quality to his face and body On the stream we kept calling Tony a toilet jacker. Yeah, so basically that means like he,

what happens is he jerks off while he's shitting. Yeah, he comes on his turd. No, yeah, but he shits and then he holds it there halfway out. So he can jack off. And then he jerks off. He can kind of suck the turd back up his ass back and forth.

And then he comes and then he ejects the turd and the jizz at the same time into the bowl and then he fucks himself, his refractory period is really short and so then he fucks himself again with the bidet, the pressure of the bidet. And then he comes again on top of the shit, on top of the bidet water, on top of the first load and then he adds the second load and then he doesn't flush and he just gets up and he closes the door. Yeah, right. In his hotel room. You guys. He lives in a hotel now. He does I saw why I don't know I guess maybe like, you know how there's like, you know

Maritime law where like you can rape somebody on a boat and it doesn't count Like I guess if you rape somebody in a hotel, right? Hundred extra dollars, but you can rape it. You can yeah You go to the main you go. Can, can I rape you for like 100? He goes, okay. Yeah, you just have to pay a blood cleanup fee. Yeah, exactly. I just keep thinking of Tony Edgeworth making his turds kill Tony Regulars.

Throwing a joke book into the toilet bowl. Hey, this kid's pretty good. You got it, kid. He flushes. You go, all right, everybody, my shit. And then you see a turd kind of balance standing up and then just falls over. and he flashes. You go, all right, everybody, my shit. And then you see a turd kind of balance standing up and then just falls over.

The turd, as the turd is being sucked down, it's like, motherfucker, you look like this. Gone forever. Yeah, yeah. Who likes it when the comics come out of my ass? Let me hear a round of applause. Did you like his special? Did you watch it?

Oh, garbage. Ben and I tried to watch it and we couldn't get through it because he was doing, he was doing Maniscalco. Yeah, he is. And then he slips into dice and then, like the latter half of it, he's doing Chappelle where he's talking like really slowly and kind of resting his hand on his knee.

And so he kind of, just to me, that tells me the man has no sense of identity. Maybe he's a male borderline, which those are really dangerous types. You do stand up, right? Yeah. So you're picking a side here. That's what I told her.

I'm like, this is a different path you're walking down. Yeah. Yeah, I won't go the Kill Tony path. I listen. See, because you have like, you have conviction. Ben is so retarded. Ben will say things and then act like he had no memory of it

He comes back to us he's like, I don't know this person was like treating me like really Like you said they should die I was wearing my fuck the mothership shit Everybody's treating me like I'm a goddamn outcast. Yeah, no, I'm talking shit now so that I'm forced to kind of live by it later. Like, if I'm ever summoned to the mothership in my career, like, I'm saying all this garbage now

so that I can have an excuse to not go later. You're also young enough that by the time like things are really going on and you're in your prime that might. Yeah, Tony will have been killed by. They will all have overdosed on Crocodile or whatever they have in office. I heard her caved Tony's head in at one point.

I've been trying to get to get into the mothership just for that exact reason. Nice girl. She's a sweet murderer. I met her one time before she died. I've been trying to get to get into the mothership just for that exact reason. Nice girl. She's a sweet murder. I met her one time before she died. I love and I love killing black people.

She's killed more black people than the LAPD. Other than that. I met her one time when I was in high school. I was 17. I was at a show with, I was talking to you about this. I was at a show with, I was talking to you about this, I was at a show after COVID with my 21 year old friend and her 55 year old comedy booker boyfriend. And I met that, so that's a really appropriate evening

for all of us. Really kind of age appropriate evening for all of us. And then like two months later she OD'd. But she lived. And then she went to rehab for like a week and then she left and started doing cocaine again after she killed like seven people in a home. Okay, it's a woman's right to choose.

It is. And sometimes you gotta kill seven black men. White women are allowed to afford a black man at one time. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes it's a good idea to never have any self reflection about those seven black men you killed one night Did she really kill seven?

I'm completely kidding, it's a joke It's a joke, it's a joke I've mentally been collecting timestamps for the last 15 minutes One day at a time it works if you work it, okay? Keep coming back She didn't do it, whoever gave her her coke Her kill, yeah, her coke Her kill Tony coke her coke coke yeah her coke her kill Tony coke

That what I'm just saying I mean like maybe some some things could change if she was a kill Tony regular as well That's all I'm saying maybe if she was in the hospital and they wheeled her out and put her on the kill Tony stage Mm-hmm the guys wouldn't have been taken off a life support should put her cocaine on David Lucas's donuts Just powdered them does he eat donuts? I'm sure of course breakfast lunch and dinner I'm gonna text you so I go okay, so one thirty two 139 also at 142 you have to cut out. Yeah, by the way Ivy Is the only one that's ever been able to one up my cat story.

You know the cat story? What's that story? I knew a guy. I knew a guy who knew a guy at his high school that he. What? You didn't know the guy who did it. I didn't know this guy. I know a guy who knew him very well, was at the party that's, you know, in high school, you know, or you throw a party and then like one guy gets too drunk and it's like,

I just let him sleep in the living room It's not a big deal. You know you just sleep on the couch one of those things where it's like I don't really knows this guy. He's too fucked up. He's laying on the floor They let him sleep on the couch the guy who it's his house He goes to bed he comes downstairs at like four in the morning because he's thirsty he wants a glass of water and he hears like of water and he hears like yeah Well, they can't see they can't see yeah, you can see and as he rounds the corner He sees that this guy is now he's awoken and he's on the couch and he has he's knuckled deep in the cat

He's finger fucking the shit out of And so he was known as cat scratch fever forever after that because he's like a fucker Yeah, which is really sick because he's trying to make the cat come you know what I mean? He's fucking the cat. He's a feminist Yeah, yeah, and then Ivy goes. Oh, yeah, I knew a guy. Yeah, so well. I didn't know him actually It's kind of similar. I don't I don't know if I knew the guy But um I went to middle school in high school with this girl named Maddie who's a boyfriend in high school, fucked his cat until it passed.

It died. He did kill the cat with his cock. Did it just come too hard? He fucked the cat so much it died. It passed away. Like he fucked it a lot. Right. Oh, like many times.

Yeah, he kept fucking it until it died. Well, we don't know. He fucked it a lot right yeah, oh like many times We don't know so yeah, we don't know if I am I'm unclear I would have to go back and ask some people but I'm unclear on whether it was like a kind of prolonged molestation of the cat or if it was just one time and he really rammed it so hard that it succumbs, but Mattie was always like, guys, stop making fun of him, he's different now, he's 15, that was when he was 13. He's older. Guys, he fucks dogs now, it's fine.

He's older, he's changed. The cat probably consented to it, because if you were trying to give bath yeah, they sleep they fly out They slip out like a big Tree frog yeah fly out of your hand You're saying if he was able to hold it down then it must have liked it the cat would have got its claws in His thighs or in his this juice at the mall today was nine dollars Rough life for a Brooklynite.

Literally fucking nine fucking dollars at the Central City Shopping Mall to bring a fucking AK down. These bitches out here pay nine dollars for. Yodis bitches. Pay nine fucking dollars. Yodis bitches out here. Sorry.

Yodis bitches. I've just been looking for a rape whistle for five minutes now. It's sorry, it's my vape. She has a life alert button, I've been looking for a rape whistle for five minutes She has a life alert, but she's been trying to find it's my vape. I'm sorry I'm like stimming with the contents of my purse right now. It's fine. You had it on my day down I know I did but I keep fucking losing it and it's day glow You're gonna pull out a sense of a broken smoke alarm Ceilingbirds yeah a broken smoke alarm. Sealing birds as they call them.

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But do you like You got some hot sauce you wash you chicken You tweet you tweet you tweet you bitch I speak in it there you go bitches be like, yeah This is me. I can't find my goddamn fate. Oh my god, and you're still you're a big Hollywood star You're in big big Hollywood blockbuster movie. You're a star kid! She's a star! She's a fan. She's a fan. She improvised the Helen Keller line. Oh really? Helen Keller ass bitch the the line she has in the store. It's humiliating that I'm still looking for my vape even though it's not rare. It is kind of crazy yeah. Do you want a. Do you want to lose? I think I'd shit my pants if I took one of those no offense are they a sponsor? No, we tried but they're not a no spec. Yeah I think we're gonna get me undies in the new year though. I'm excited for that. That's great. There's some there's some perks

This is the old babe. Can you suck some juice out of that or something? This is the wrapping from my cigarette. I have two packs of cigarettes in here. White bitches always grabbing me for this. This thing misses me like. Yeah, cause this exhaust fan will suck the smoke out. Do you guys mind if I do? Are you smoking Marlboro Reds? Yeah, I am.

Go ahead. I used to smoke Newports when my life was really bad. She smoked a lot down here during the stream and it all sucked out. That's fine, I don't care at all. Before I got sent to the psych ward, I was smoking Newports. Oh, you went full grippy suck? Of course, you were smoking Newports. Oh's fine, I don't care at all. Before I got sent to the psych ward, I was smoking Newports. Oh, you went full grippy suck?

Of course, you were smoking Newports. Oh, honey, yes. Yeah. Yes. You're like Omar Little. Who is that? From The Wire. Oh, my black guy.

My black guy loves that show. You should respect black people. My mother loves that show. She also loves the Madea movies, oddly. Really? Yeah, every time one of them is on TV, she's like, I gotta Tivo this. Well that's probably where you got it from,

watching so many Medea movies growing up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just, there's something about a man in a wig that really does it for me. Your dad, isn't your dad like Jimmy Kimmel's like tear wiper? Yeah, he's the censor on the Jimmy Kimmel show. My dad, I saw him recently and he gave me um

He gave me his review of anora and didn't mention me in it once Devon give her that glass to ashen did he say did he say it was good or did he say it was not good He liked it But he literally reviewed every aspect of the film like every person in the cap every technical like elements Did you say he like like the old guy that you filmed with? Yeah, like down to the sound design, he had notes on that. Yeah, he's like, the catering was great.

Yeah, and not one mention. Credits, great credits. Amazing title sequence, not one fucking mention of me. So you have, yeah, you have a narcissistic psycho dad. Yeah. Yeah, that's showbiz Yeah, but you love him, but you're like god. It's it's depressing for him to to talk to him Yeah And if he's not gonna hear this because um he's like afraid to know what kind of what I'm up to

because um when I was 18 he found somehow a photo on my Instagram of me in a bikini top, and he had to take four bars of Xanax, and he called my mom and said, I feel like I just got shot. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's funny to not be in a bikini.

Because he saw you in a bikini. Yeah, possessive as well is a very fun combo. Well, you should do porn and he'll kill himself. Oh, I do. You don't do porn. You show your pants or something. I don't post my, well, it doesn't photograph well. I'm not good at editing.

You always talk about your pussy online. What could this fucking thing look like? I just... I gotta look for the whistle again, sorry. Yeah, there's a SWAT team assembly outside. Chris Hansen's been around a corner for 15 minutes. He goes, I wanna see them if they get a groove on this. Yeah, I'm 13 years old actually.

They're finding a bit of give and take that I like. With the wide angle you look so small too. I know, I look like Gandalf in World of the Ring. And with the cigarette I look like JonBenet. This is just fucking ridiculous. It looks like they built this desk like nine feet apart so it matches up perfectly. Yeah, it's at eye level.

I'm a foot from the camera. It's cool. Yeah, that's insane. It's cool. We're in the smallest room of all time. It's awesome. It is. It is very tiny.

So we booked you because you're the only person other than us that can fit in the room. It's great. Imagine David you know imagine David Lucas in here Yo, David Lucas so fat when he sits around the house he really sits around the house Thanks guys see I can keep up I'm one of the guys Is Sean Baker cool, he's the best yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just scrolling back pages the whole day Yeah, he's fire I saw the lead in in Florida project at like a shitty a little girl

No, the main the the whore mom the whore mom. I saw the lead in Florida Project at like a shitty... The little girl? No, the main, the whore mom. The whore mom, right? No, I saw the whore mom at like a shitty kebab place one time and she was with like a black dude and I was like, you didn't even know you were in a movie. No, no, she's like, we're gonna rap in about six months. Yeah, I think she still thought she was being filmed. Well, he shoots very Verite style,

so you never really know when the camera's on you or not. Yeah, really? He's probably my favorite modern director. Yeah, no, I'm not shitting you, Devon. Devon loves, I loved it too, but Devon, it's like your favorite, maybe. I saw it like twice. Really?

I saw it a day after I saw it. A guy that I went to college with saw it four times, and like, he was hard, wasn't he? He saw it, he was like, see, like a guy seeing a Nora four times and like he was hard, wasn't he? He saw it. Like a guy singing Nora four times in a row is like, you're hard. Yeah. No, I legitimately saw it with my friend

that worked on, he's in the movie that I did with me and he's like a producer, I think he probably hit you up. Is it Jay or Alexander? Will. Will. And we saw it together and he's like a real cocksucker about like everything, nothing is good ever. He talks like he's British. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's always like the fucking, the pedagogy of the. Yeah, I don't understand anything. We don't like him, yeah. I love Will. I love Will. But he's very critical and we sat there, we sat through the credits, like we were silent, like it was like a real

It was it was one of the first movies I've seen in a long time where I felt like inspired and like oh man when I saw it at the premiere It was dead silent after the credits, and then I just go yeah Yeah, and then France no in New York in the New York premiere And then fucking Paul Mescal from gladiator 2 is sitting in front of me, and he just fucking turns around He goes one of the girls they molested these festivals escaped yeah Yeah, yeah, and he went to can I did go to Kenya. Yeah. Yeah, it was a the French are rude So nice, I don't like the French community, and I'll say it all day

Yeah, I kicked you out of the premiere right they didn't kick me out. They didn't let me in Because none of them believed that I was in the movie because I guess I don't I'm not really that telegenic I guess you know David Lucas was working the door right exactly I guess I don't really have a face that people think could be in a 90 minute film and so they were like this Homeless woman is trying to get into the film 90-minute film and so they were like this homeless woman is trying to get into the film and then But then eventually they let me in because they just acquiesced they realized yeah Why are you late? Why was I late?

I was I got I was supposed to be there on time and I was caught in gridlock traffic and I ran out of the Uber with my heels in my hand and my purse broke in half and so I obviously looked kind of unhinged Were you on pills? Was I on pills? Was I on pills? No. Are you like a drug addict? Yeah, I'm addicted to pills, yeah.

Are you really? She's in NA. Yeah, yeah, yeah, actually. You got kicked out of Emerson because you were on pills or? No, I didn't get kicked out of Emerson. I left willingly. I got kicked out of all my classes.

I was still enrolled in the school. I just wasn't, I didn't go to any classes. I got kicked out of the classes, not from pills, but because I was busy doing ketamine But um you know I don't do that stuff anymore But you could buy like ketamine off like hems now By the people just casually it was just like a casual thing that you could just buy it on the internet. Yeah, it's amazing Yeah, so she'd actually didn't know about that until now so I know Bring me to relapse

Interesting I mean Comedy College sounds brutal. It was brutal She fucking hit me up two years ago about I did a Comedy College episode about Even gone yet you were considering oh yeah, And that's why I was disappointed in you. Well. Because you still went. Sad. I still went, I know, sad to see what I've become, but I still went.

I still went because like, I don't know, the expectation was for me to go to college and I was like, might as well go somewhere fake so that I don't actually have to like do anything or hit the books. And so I just didn't. I went somewhere completely fake where you have, you don't have to like do anything or hit the books and so I just did it I went somewhere completely fake where you have you don't have to do anything ever and where everybody's kind of just really high and having group sex and I

obviously I wasn't high I wasn't high on you know I don't smoke weed and everybody the weed is like kind of the Emerson drug of choice also coke kids at Emerson do a lot of blow, but Boston blow, I don't know if any of you have ever tried it, it's absolutely terrible. We hated Boston when we toured there. It's an awful city. It's a terrible city.

It's an awful city. The shows were great. The shows were great. The shows were fantastic, but they neutered faggot city, and I only say that because they love that word. How about they get it thrown back at them for once, okay? The city sucked. Boston is absolutely awful. it was a terrible city

Everything about it the driving is bad there wasn't anything to do after 8 p.m.. Because everything closes and they can't sell alcohol past Double-shot only city I've ever been to in America that asked me for two forms of identification to get a fucking beer dude if you go to An Applebee's in Boston, Massachusetts, they scan your ID through a machine. That's, what is that though? Is that because they were all gay? They have like the TSA for fucking Olive Garden? Yeah, it's because it's so many college students and they're so kind of puritanical there.

They were getting drunk and just being the shit of Vietnamese people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the thing about Emerson though. The list of Me Too's at an Emerson, it must look like the Vietnam Memorial. Sky motherfucking high, girl. It's just rape,erson, it must look like the Vietnam Memorial. Sky motherfucking high girl.

It's just rape, rape, rape, rape. Rape down. It's like shot, shot, shot. Yeah, there was this kid who would wear a guy liner and a Hamilton beanie every day, Hamilton is in the Broadway musical. Sure. Wait, he had a Hamilton beanie?

Yeah, and even he had an allegation. They literally let anybody do it. He had a what? He had a Hamilton beanie. Like the musical, like the Marthly you buy. He went they literally let anybody do it. They let- He had a what? He had a Hamilton beanie. Like the musical, like the March for You're Bad. He went to the musical and got it. But you just said he had an allegate, what?

Yeah, he had a rape allegation. Oh, of course. And it's like they literally let anybody rape anyone at Hamilton. You can, at Emerson. There's no barrier to entry to rape. Yeah, there's no barrier to entry for rape. It's like at least, you know, have a little bit of brawn,

have a little bit of machismo, some bravado maybe, but no, you can be like the fucking soiest gay cuck on the planet and you can rape a chick in Emerson. It's really kind of the land of possibility. Are they at a party being like, erm, erm, do you mind if I rape you real quick? Yeah, kind of, yeah, it's like, yeah.

So you're gonna pass out. So it's like, so, Mike for big, Leah talked about this in his first show. Oh gosh, gosh, this is so embarrassing, but could youickley had talked about this in his first show. But. Gosh, this is so embarrassing, but could you take this pill and put it in your drink? Listen, don't think twice, but you're gonna be raped. Yes and, but say no.

Yeah, yeah, but like Emerson is surprisingly very, even outside of the sexual misconduct of plenty, like Emerson's students are very sexually charged. Cause it's like it's ugly. It's theater kids that they fuck a lot. Exactly. It's like ugly gross theater kids from small towns who couldn't catch any dick or gash to save their lives

in whatever suburb they crawled out of. And so when they get to Boston, they're like, I'm in a real city now. And it's like, actually, no, you're not., they're like, I'm in a real city now, and it's like, actually no, you're not. But they're like, great, so time for me to buy pink fuzzy handcuffs and whip a girl against the headboard of my dorm bed until she reads. Right, right, of course.

Because it's just been making out with a pillow for eight years now. Exactly, exactly. You've been humping an anime body pillow for all of high school. Backstage at your school's production of Arsenic and Old Lace, you've been like, you know, rubbing your cock against the mirror in the boys' dressing room, and then you get

to Emerson College and you're like, wait, so rape role play, that's a thing that I can get down with. They're like torturing you, like it's like a reservoir dog, maybe tied up in a chair and cutting off your hair. I mean, one of my best friends, and a girl who, she was a coke dealer, but she had no clients because she would snort all her orders and not respond.

I tried to buy from her and she was like, I ate it all. But one of my best friends on holo weekend in a blackout freshman year at three in the morning did rape role play sex for like an hour with this girl in a common room. Just like you know where anybody could walk by. And was she like screaming like no, don't? Like as part of the role play? And he was like you know you're my daughter,

you're a baby, whatever he's into. A great guy, one of the best men I've ever known. I knew a diker fetish guy. Interesting. At college? In college, yeah he was a Christian guy. They were like high school sweethearts. They finally got married, and then the woman a year

into the marriage went to her friend, she's like, yeah, sex is kind of weird, I don't know if I like it. You know, there's a lot of changing the diapers, it's very stinky. Women will never be free. Women will never be free. So this was all at Emerson? Yeah, so at Emerson, yeah.

It's like Goodwill Hunting, but the janitor's coming in, he's writing like, will hunting with the janitors like coming in he's ready like no equals. Yes We just want to know who saw Yeah, he's raping one because you know how fucking easy this shit is for me It's fucking nothing Yeah, Emerson is like a really kind of disgustingly horny place and it is because it's all feeder kids and They fuck so much. They fuck Really depraved ways I heard you like people your age are like not fucking anymore Is this the only bastion of fucking in honestly?

And this is I do think that like a liberal arts college like Emerson because like other liberal arts colleges Well because em the problem with Emerson right is that Nobody is smart right so like if you go to like you know Bard like another liberal arts college like Bard or like even Sarah Lawrence the kids there can read Right and so they might not be you know really so preoccupied with like tantric might not be really so preoccupied with tantric, bloody, violent sex because they're like, I love Sylvia Plath this week, right? But at Emerson, they are completely illiterate

and unmotivated and they've been like hitting. Yeah, they fuck like Antichrist, like on the side of a hill and she's cutting her quits with an old friend. There's a fox with its organs eaten out. And then your sun falls out of the window. Yeah, so they, cause they're like, at Emerson they're like hitting like the dab pens

that kill you, right? And so they're like hitting the dab pens that kill you. The vitamin E dab pens, yeah. It's got the Panera lemonade in it. Yes, yes, oh my god, Panera fucking lemonade. There was a Panera right next to the Emerson campus and everybody always had a fucking Panera lemonade in their hands. And I do right next to the Emerson campus and everybody always had a fucking Panera lemonade in their hands.

And I do believe. So they would drink it and do like meth-y or jeans then. Yeah. So a big thing at Emerson, so all the freshmen live in the same building, right, at Emerson, because it's really like, there's only like 3,000 students in the whole school. And all the freshmen live in the same building.

And there was a big thing my freshman year there where there was like a friend group of Lesbians who had one guy that they would like let attend their lesbian orgies one of the lesbians is actually dating The guy now that the token guy the orgies But yeah There was like a friend group of lesbians and they would all swap each other around and then they just had one guy friend who they would let sit in the room and watch as they all, you know, scissored or whatever.

Right. Were they like, do you think they were pretend lesbians or did they look like sopranos people? These were actual real dykes, girls who had never had sex with a man or even kissed a man or gone on a date with a man until they got to college. Like they had spent from like eighth grade all the way through

high school just like muff diving the house down boots and like then they get to Boston and they see one guy with like an electric guitar and a skateboard and a Greg Araki poster on his dorm wall and they're like they get it you yeah and so like my old ass the movie my old ass movie my old I didn't see it kind of similar that happens in it There's about a lesbian that realizes that like men rule She's like a fake performative like dyke and then like finally she's like, oh I love cock It's not gonna pretend pretend to have cornrows. I attended a Three Summit Emerson.

I didn't participate. Do you attend it like you bought tickets? I attended. So basically, here's the story. My friend, you know how I mentioned the guy friend of mine who was fucking the girl who was the coke dealer, but she did all her coke and they were doing rape role play in the common room? Of course.

So this girl right this girl who wants it four in the morning I'm doing laundry and she comes up to me with a big gulp cup full of whiskey Filled to the brim full of whiskey and she goes do you know if any men are awake and then she just stumbles down the hall So this girl right real fucking dog of a woman But all love to her and I'm sure she will be successful in whatever she chooses to embark upon. Getting raped professionally. Right.

Yeah, although I don't really wanna see her on camera. But you know, so one day my friend calls me. He was fucking this girl in the gender neutral bathroom where everybody would go to fuck, right? Because you know, you can't fuck when your roommate's asleep, so you're gonna fuck in the gender neutral bathroom where everybody would go to fuck, right? Because you can't fuck when your roommate's asleep, so you're gonna fuck in the gender neutral bathroom and all the non-binary people are lined up outside the door. Like, I haven't shit in three weeks, you know?

So, and you know, there was nobody at the school with a wheelchair, but if there was, they would, you know, it's like, get an ostomy bag, somebody's fucking in there. So they're like asking each other their pronouns before they like rape and stuff. Yeah, so basically he's fucking her. Do I have consent to rape you? To rape you and stay them, okay.

Yeah, he's fucking her over the sink in the gender neutral stall and his frenulum tears, right? His what? His frenulum. That's the string around your ball sack, right? It's the piece of skin that attaches your balls to the root, I think.

Oh, to the gooch? Yes, the gooch. Yeah, I forgot that word. You guys are teaching me so much, reminding me of so many things. And he's looking up frenulum. So there's one in your mouth, and then there's one on your wang.

Oh, OK. So look up frenulum wang. Oh, that too. Oh, yeah, there is a frenulum penis. Penis frenulum, okay. I can show people what it is, there it's right here. Wow. Oh so it's underneath the tip.

It's underneath the tip. Oh so he ripped that open? Did it rip open like a ziplock bag? It kind of just snapped. And so he ripped that while he was fucking her and he kept going because he was hoping it was her period and he's a real dirty dog And so you just you know he kept going but then he pulled out he realized it was his dick And then she goes whatever. I'm late to the lesbian orgy got to go and so leaves him there He's sitting on the toilet bleeding into the bowl, and he calls me and he's like I'm high as fuck off the dab pen that kills you and

my my frenulum snapped and Oh, I just said her name believe that and um okay Crazy there they're chained their penises are chafed from the from the pussy from the that's how much He also told me he was like it wasn't even tight enough to be doing all that like I really don't even know how it broke Wasn't that really shit? It's's like hot dog in a hallway type shit. So like I really. He was just freestyling with it? It was just like he was going hard in the paint, man.

The way that you do at Emerson College, you want that BFA. And so, you know, his frenulum tears and he's like, fucking, I said her name again. She fucking, you know what? Well we're not blaming it the second time. It doesn't matter. She's finished. She's done. Your friend is finished.

Yeah, so she left him in there to bleed into the bull because she had to go attend a lesbian orgy on the 10th floor. And he calls me, it's like two in the morning, I'm doing nothing, I've probably just finished my seventh round of feverish masturbation. You know on those days where you just masturbate multiple times in a row because it feels like

running an errand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're like one of the guys, dude. You're just one of the fellas. Dude, dude, dude, dude, you goon? You're cool as shit, dude. Oh, God, I used to, I'm retired now. Dude, you're like busting with the boys right now.

Whatevs, anyway. So she went to, and then you attended the orgy that she was at? No. All right. So I go, what lesbian orgy? And he's like, I don't know, text one of the lesbians, and it's probably at her dorm.

And so, cause I was like, I need some I want to write about something I want to just like I need some fucking stimuli. I'm so bored. I have no drugs. I have no alcohol like I'm alone I'm bored and so uh, you know, I text this girl and I'm like I'm like yo heard there was like, you know an orgy like can I come over and she was like an orgy, like can I come over? And she was like, yes, Deva, like come on. And so I bring a bottle of wine and a bottle of poppers to, as like a housewarming gift to the dorm. And I- Sure, did you tie a bow around each popper?

Well, that's not how that works. It is a liquid that you inhale. Well, it comes in a bottle, you're not holding a handful of liquid that you bring. Yeah, it's not a funnel. It goes in your hand. Where's my pop you're not holding a handful of liquid that you bring Car batteries and shit in his room. This does feel like, this feels like Congress interrupting a filibuster. I motion the floor to let somebody else talk about gooning for a second.

Well, actually the poppers, was there a bow on it? Actually, that's not how the poppers work, Senator. Barney Frank stands up and he goes, I have been fucked in the ass with lots of poppers. His protruding nipples. His protruding nipples. His protruding nipples, disgusting. Disgusting. But I show up to this girl's dorm, right?

And it's two lesbians who have the same name and the same haircut, and they are the same ethnic mix. OK. What mix, can I ask? Half black, half white. Dude, so it's the twins from the Matrix movies? They literally look the same. That's awesome.

They have the same haircut, they have the same name, and they are both naked, and my friend, actually, it was the guy, the guy who was the token straight guy in the lesbian orgy friend group, was actually a friend of mine, and so he's there, and I'm like, oh my God, Cooper, what are you doing here? Like, you're with the Isabelles. And so the Isabelles are fucking him, and whatever.

Do we need to believe their name, or is that fine? It doesn't matter. We're not believing anything anymore. She's like, they're dead. As we go, yeah. These people are all dying. They've since passed. But so, they're just, you know, they're going at it,

whatever, the three of them. I'm sitting on the dorm bed across the way and I'm just watching them. Not turned on, not titillated, just kind of intrigued. Right? Can I ask, are you like twiddling your thumbs or like your arms crossed? I was texting.

Yeah, yeah. I was listening. Trying to like act cool and interesting. One of the lesbians tried to get me to join but I really didn't like her and so I didn't want to. But I was still paying attention. Yeah, so whatever. One of the guy took one of the lesbians male virginity

and then found out after the fact and he looked like he had just seen a ghost. She had only ever fucked women before him and then she revealed it, like you're the first dick, like real dick that wasn't like a strap-on that I ever had sex with, then he looked like he had just been shot through the heart. Because that's like a soul bond, you know,

I don't know if you guys know this, but when you fuck a lesbian for the first time, like she becomes your wife and your mother. Yeah, it's like when you save a guy in India and he has to be your slave for the rest of his life. Exactly, exactly. And so he's white as a ghost a guy in India and he has to be your slave for the rest of his life. Exactly, exactly. And so he's white as a ghost, then the dykes with the same name

and the same haircut are going at each other. I can't tell who's who when their heads are mashed together. You know, when one has her head thrown back and the other one's head is between the other's legs, I'm like, okay, who's on first, you know? If you're here, you're here, then who's flying the plane, right? So, but then I find out-

I love the idea you're trying to do bits and it's just bombing. Oh, I was bombing. I was bombing so hard because they were all busy like sucking and fucking and I'm like- Were you trying to do bits? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was sad and anyway, so that happens.

I attend that, whatever. Then I find out after the fact, because the girl who tore my friend's frenulum never showed up. And so I was like, huh, like I asked the Isabelle's Cooper, I go, you know, like, well, where's Marley? Like she never came. And they were like, oh, she's at the other lesbian orgy

on the 10th floor. And so I showed up to the wrong lesbian orgy happening concurrently on the 10th floor. And that is what happened. And I was in college. This is like the end of a standup set. It was like, I was at the wrong lesbian orgy the whole time!

Yeah, you should tell that on the moth. Yeah, that would kill. And have some big, big lesson tied up. Yeah, and that's when I realized we're all more similar than we ever thought Maybe the frenulum that tour was the friends we made This is you said upstairs, yeah, you know all this all happened like 13 months ago Back yeah, that was that was a me four back then. That was me four months ago.

I was an old head. Baby, that was when I was... Shit, I'm an unk now. Honestly, that's how I feel. It's like I'm sober. I'm like... From what, Oxy, cotton? No, I was addicted to benzodiazepines.

Okay, nice. Jesus, people don't get off those, really. Yeah, no, that's like Xanax, Plonopin, Ativan. get off those really. Yeah, no that's like Xanax, The Jordan Peterson stuff. Plonapin, Ativan. Lorazapam. Yeah, I used to kind of hoard those in my room. I had a pharmacy out here that I would order them from.

I had a pharmacy in New York, and then I had a dealer. Jesus, were you a drinker? Did you like drinking or no? I would say I liked the pills a little more. So you were tweeting like Roseanne all the time. Oh, yeah. I don't mean to interrupt everything,

but do you think that becoming famous at 13 for weird, I don't know, but whatever, do you think that you jumped into doing that type of stuff much quicker than you would? Do you ever think you're performatively a drug addict? Cause you're like the female little peep, kinda, but you didn't die. When my bitch old roommate called me... Do you ever think you're performatively a drug addict? Because you're like the female little peep, kind of, but you didn't die. When my bitch old roommate called me Amanda Bynes, she was telling the truth. I guess what I'm saying is, do you ever feel like you're doing stuff because it's a...

To fulfill the prophecy? No, because it's a time... It fulfills the timeline of being an online figure. Like the storyline fever a little bit. Oh, I should do the Benzos now. I could be the 19 year old, I could have a story about the Benzo. Probably implicitly, absolutely. Subconsciously. Oh, absolutely.

I mean, I would be lying if I said, no, I happened upon this all by accident. But that's what women do, is we narrativize and victimize ourselves. It's like we live to be in a tale. So, you know, if anything, like anybody out there who's watching this who's like wondering if I'm like, their nephew on the T-ball team, it's like,

no, actually I am a woman because I got addicted to pills the way bitches do. So I just wanna set the record straight. You can stop DMing me on Twitter, like I know you have a dick and I'm gonna find a photo of it. Like actually, would a man get addicted to pills for the story? No well I can't wait for a fat arc cuz you're gonna have a nice big fat

The fact that it pisses you off means you're it's coming You're gonna be like a little Caesars bitch like drinking 40s. You're gonna drink non-alcoholic 40s Non-alcoholic 40s, just for the calories. Non-alcoholic malt liquor, like, postin' up on the stoop. I'm not gonna get fat. It's just not gonna happen. No, you'll be on Twitter, like, doing the whole Mexican meme thing.

You'll be like, you ain't Mexican unless you are shaped like the Kool-Aid man. I'm not gonna get fat. The fattest I've ever been was in Atlanta, and... Well, they like that, yeah. Right, I blended in. I had to do what I had to. Well they like that, yeah. Right, I blended in. I had to do what I had to do to protect myself, Yogi.

Sure, what were you doing in Atlanta? She was getting fucked by Lil Rel Howrie. I was working. I was working in the television arts. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, I was working in the television arts. Every time I go to Atlanta, I almost commit suicide. It's happened three times now.

Okay, once again, I wanna also, then I'm gonna stop everything again and be like, what is, how are you, you're constantly killing yourself? I'm constantly almost killing myself. But why? Everything's going great. I told her I'm gonna be pissed if she kills herself, by the way. I'm not gonna kill myself, boys.

Is this some bullshit? Calm down. Is this some, come on, is this some performative bullshit? Do you know when you're tweeting, I mean, it's like, I've had a lot of moments in my life where I've been like, I should reach out and I go, I'm gonna mute her instead and hope for the best tomorrow morning. That's the right way to react. You don't feed into it, you don't feed into it.

You're like a cigar, like, people need breaks from you, they need to put it down and come back to it. You have to cut it. You're like nicotine poisoning. Yeah, and I have it too. Yeah, it's almost like, I like Twitter is your version of cutting almost I guess a former self-harm. No, she is a cutter Her version of cutting is kind of my version of cutting is yeah, you're cutting your tweets into your arm

Yeah, I was you know, but then eventually I ran out of characters and so I had to switch to the phone I had to get what are you looking for? What's going on? Are you happy? Things are going great. Right now I'm happy because I'm sober and lucid for the first time in a while. Because you were on Benzos when you were tweeting all that shit? Yeah. Okay, so you're not at Benzos. No.

So you're good. She just never had a Valerie Jarrett moment. I thought the pills were white. So you never got into, drinking was never an issue? I mean, I would have a drink but like I was no alcohol was never my thing I mean there was a period where I was doing a lot of ketamine and then I switched to the Benzos and then but drinking was never like very interesting to me Okay, do I miss it now? Do I have a mother? Yeah, is your mom supportive? She's wonderful. Okay, so you love your mom

I love my mother. So you got one parent. I'm good. It's the most we can all ask for. I'm good. So you're doing great. I'm great You're talented doing for your mama. You're funny. Yeah, things are going great for you Sean Baker put you in a movie. You age in reverse every time I meet you. I feel like you're a year younger I don't really know what's going on. I thought at least you were 25 by now. And it's really bothering me, honestly. I'm Benjamin butthole. But, so I just wanna say real quick, as I'm looking at you, cut the shit. Enough already, okay?

Grow up and be you and be a normal person that is enjoying how things are going. But Devin, in our mid-20s. You can be funny while also enjoying how things are going. No, in our mid 20s though We were I was driving drunk everywhere You gotta cut the suicide bullshit actually no We were all really worried about you like four months ago.

I'm fine, it's over. Well, four months ago, guess where I landed myself? Gracie Square Hospital on the Upper East Side. Oh, you went to a mental health ward? Like you went to a suicide ward? Yes. It's kind of a funny story shit. It was Dominican and Orthodox Jews.

And on the first day in the sidewalk. The perks of being suicidal. The perks of being a suicidal wallflower. The first day on the psych ward. It's like you're living it every day. A 19 year old Dominican kid with a lion tattooed on his hand where when he would open his hand it was like the lion was opening its mouth.

He asked for my phone number and I wouldn't give it to him. And then we had iPads on the psych ward like and you could like loan out, like borrow borrow an iPad for a few hours during the day. And he would always throw these crazy fits when the iPads weren't available. And he was the father of a two-year-old little girl. It probably named Ariana the way that people of his persuasion always named their daughters Ariana.

And one day they wouldn't let him have an iPad. By the way, then you'll say something and she goes, yikes, I'm trying to have a career. I know, she's like, what? It's really, it's cute. I said Indians are sticky. She was like, whoa. And then she's like, listen.

Listen, girl. You're like, mother fucker. Listen, mother fucker. I be popping my pussy. When you're out here, you squeeze, man. I tell my pussy to pay my phone bill, bitch. I'll be popping my pussy. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man.

I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man.

I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man.

I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here, you squeeze, man. I'll be out here in the movie, bitch. I know. Hey guys, you don't have time to cook right now. Factor has you covered.

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directed by Sean Baker. Thank you, thank you. There's so much I could say about Factor Meals, I'm just like racking my brain trying to think of something to say. It's healthy, it helps you keep off weight. Yeah, I mean the reason that I am as thin, as famously thin as I am is because of the factor meals.

No, I think I just hate to see you get dog piled all the time. I mean the comment section on this probably just. Oh, it's gonna be horrifying. But half the people really do like you. You can, you know what, it's what I horrifying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But half the people really do like you. You can, you know what? It's what I expected coming in here, that it would be scary, but I really don't care.

I don't mind. The people that no offense to- They should know you're a listener of the show. The people that like- Say you listen to the show right now. I do listen to the show. She's already said things where it's like she has to have listened to it.

And she got Sean Baker to listen to the show. The people who follow you guys, no offense to you or them, are like one divorce away from bringing a gat to the mall. Yeah, I think a lot of them are working their way up to a marriage to get divorced, to be honest, but yeah. We're a Ben show, one guy drove from Chicago. Yeah, that was great. Oh, he's a nice guy.

I met him last night. Whoa! He was a cool guy, I I was with him last night. Whoa! He was a cool guy. I hung out with him last night. He was a cool guy, but he said that and just a shiver ran down my spine. So he doesn't have anything to wake up to for the next morning?

Like he doesn't have a family to like, attend to at home. Yeah. He was just, we were in a circle. He's like, I drove here from Chicago, and we were like, oh, cool, cool. And then there was like a moment where we're like, dude, you're like a huge loser, right?

He's like, yeah, I got, I've got nobody cares about me. But he was great. Thank you for coming, but that was also a slant. Yeah, that guy's gonna be calling you a fat slut after this, right? Yeah. Yeah, you're a fat slut.

You are a big fat slut. You're a big fat stinky slut. You are really fat, by the way. You're huge, dude. I had no idea how huge you were. You need to go on Ozmpic tonight. We need to take you to Korea to get you to Korea town

and get you one of these funny doctors. Get you back on Benzos. I am your daughter's age. In a way that's true. Your daughter's my friend from class. Oh man. Man, I would have failed if she, if my daughter ends up going to Emerson.

Don't send her to Emerson. I mean, even in your Benzo state, you still even were like, this sucks my ass. I wasn't even on Benzos then. That was pre. So you left Emerson to get hooked on Benzos. Honey, a woman can do anything she sets her mind to. You raw dogged Emerson?

No, I was on other things. What were you on? Ketamine, alcohol. I would drink like half a handle of Bacardi a night and I would yell at people. Oh, so you are black. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I would drink like half a, like I was mad anorexic, but I was still chunky as fuck, which is so confounding. But I would drink like half a handle of, like a pint of Bacardi every night and then I would chase it with Red Gatorade and I'd be like, well, that's dinner,

and then I would yell at a boy because he didn't wanna lick my tings. You need buccal fat surgery, and then Ozempic. Yeah, you need to ruin yourself quick. Ozempic, and then lengthen your legs in a weird Japanese. This is what happened to Judy Garland. She did a podcast with three guys.

She had a great career, you're welcome. Yeah, yeah, she could sing like a bird. No, Judy Garland was a wigger. She was a wigger who did a podcast with three grown men. Why do you got all these little midges around me? It's the Wizard of Oz. Oz been an ounce. That's the Wizard. Very funny.

The Wizard of OZ. The Wizard of OZ, baby. The Wizard of Ounces. The Wizard of Ounces, baby. The Wizard of 40 ounces. Yeah. But Judy did a podcast just like this, and they told her you need to do barbiturates and you need to get thin. And then now she has a biopic.

So I can only hope for what my future's going to look like. Do you have things on the horizon? Yeah, like I've got like cigarettes to smoke and like. Oh, okay, gosh, you have? Yeah, and like YouTube shorts to watch. You're in, I bet you're in some huge thing. She has like four projects coming out this week. You're in Hustle and Flow too.

Yeah. She's in the MCU now. I'm not in the MCU. They would never let me in the MCU No, Disney already fired me when I was 15 from what I was on a freeform sitcom and they fired me cuz they didn't like what I was posting online Well, I was like Big on the internet. I was like 12 or 13. Yeah Yeah, but I uh, you know

I would make TikToks where I was green-screening myself in front of a graveyard of aborted babies and doing a jig on top of it, or stuff like that. They really didn't like that one. You're like, this girl came molested. Yeah, she showed up. She didn't even let us fuck her up yet.

Exactly, yeah. Harvey Weinstein shows up, he goes, this one's rotten. Yeah. He goes, this one's rotten. Yeah. He goes, I asked for fresh girls. The hymen is ripped. Yeah. Looks like there's already been a stubby finger in there. Fuck, we got to send her back to the factory.

Was there any creepiness on your set? Like, you noticed that type of shit? Well, no. The only, it's really actually quite disappointing for me. The only Hollywood person, Hollywood affiliated person that ever really showed any interest in me was a prop master with purple hair. I couldn't pull an executive to save my life.

I was cognizant of the fact that I was like, wow, nobody with money or power who can actually fucking help get my family out the hood is really trying to, you know, bang my little pissy right now. It's Fortnite streamers, like youth minister guys, blue hair, black glasses, those types of dudes. Yeah, it was just like lame-o, like freakazoid,

like one lame-o freakazoid who like had, you know, was like, when he has to pay his like EOTC dues, he's put out for a month, and I was like, this is not who I'm looking to like put it in my butt. So he'd come over and be like, you like video games? He was always just like, yeah. You like Fortnite, kid? He was always just like.

You can get floss for me. Let me see it. An 80-year-old union wrap, he gets paid $200,000 to close the curtain for one hour, and he goes, you like to do the Fortnite dance? Oh, so he's 80, so he's like, you like pinball? He was always just like. You want to go play pinball?

I got a Pac-Ban machine in my house. He would just DM me like, we should really hang out sometime, and I was like, you have no money. You probably have like an adult roommate, you know what I mean? You were like a gold digger when you were 13. Yeah, I was like, if I'm gonna get fucked, it might as well be by somebody who can prop me up after the fact. I'm sad that didn't happen for you

I'm still devastated to this day Ben and it Reek I reek of it. I read the devastation. You're like you're you're Tallying you're racking up a bunch of like stories to if shit gets bad in ten years You're gonna you can cancel some people. Oh, wow. You probably got blackmail. You probably have a lot on people Come on. Well, because you know a 13 year people, come on. No, well because here's- You know a 13 year old did come out today against Jay-Z, is that you? No.

A 13 year old boy? A 13 year old girl said she was raped by Jay-Z. He's not gay, Ben. Yeah, okay, Ben. He's gay. I tweeted today, I tweeted today. Rock-a-fella. I tweeted today, it's better be a Tel Aviv state of mind,

and that one's doing pretty well. Oh nice. Very good, very good. You are Jewish though. So you switch sides. I see both sides like Chanel. Frank Ocean. Is that, is that, is that Jew?

No, it's about bisexuality. But it could also be about Israel. I thought it was like, Israelite. Yo, fuck Israel. You don't like Jewish men. You like Jewish women. Yeah, well Jewish women are fun and they're hot. Jewish men are like, they will try to get 25 cents extra on your rent.

They'll be like, can I just have, hey, I know I own your building, but can you just give me 25 more cents? Dude, my Jewish landlord just today, he raised my rent by $10. And I go, what's the fucking point? I go, if you don't raise it by 20, I'm gonna burn this place down.

And every week I sign it a check to, every month I sign a check to the most Jewish name I've ever seen. Moshi Stilversburg. Yeah, it's Mochi, it's like, it's become Chinese, that's how Jewish it is Every day is Christmas when he gets that $10 bonus. Yeah, no it was it really infuriated me, but anyway damn Yeah, but yeah, Jay-z. He fucked the

Immediately had a response We should read it actually it's It's really funny this fucked up penis on the screen though. I kind of like that. It's there of course you would But yeah, he immediately came out with a statement that reads like it was like written His phone like it's really kind of bumpy from a moving car on his phone. It's really kind of bumpy. Oh, it's phonetic, yeah. It's poorly written and kind of sassy.

It's not very perplexed. Apparently there's a history with Jay and this guy, Tim Buzzbomb, I believe. Buzzbee? Tony Buzzbee? Buzzbee, yeah, Buzzbee. Yeah, sounds like a kid diddler. These websites don't even load this shit anymore.

No. Maybe just apology. I'm just going to go to Twitter. It's on Twitter. Because what the fuck? Yeah, sounds like a kid diddler these these websites don't even load the shit anymore. No, and you maybe just put apology I'm just gonna go to Twitter because like what the fuck I mean like why search for anything anywhere else just type in jay-z It's all over Go to people maybe jay-z. You just go to that one jay-z accused of raping 13 year old. Mm-hmm right here with Sean Diddy combs Okay, so 13 year old with Sean Diddy Combs. He did release a statement, it might be, oh, you know, it's on the Rockefeller Nation Twitter. He released their Twitter. Yeah, Ben, you already follow Rockefeller Nation, right?

Yeah, he released a statement like LeBron going back to Cleveland. There it is. Okay. Right here. My lawyer received a blackmail attempt called the demand letter from a lawyer named Tony Busby when he had calculated what's the nature of these allegations

and the public scrutiny would make me want to settle. No, sir, it had the opposite effect. It made me want to expose you for the fraud you are in a very public fashion. So no, I will not give you one red penny These allegations are so heinous in nature that I implore you to file a criminal complaint not a civil one Whomever would commit such a crime against a minor should be locked away. Would you not agree? These alleged victims would deserve real justice if that were the case

Yeah, but it seems to be just more his only heartbreak would deserve real justice if that were the case. But it seems to be just more of the same. His only heartbreak is for his family. He gets really into that here. He's like, my only heartbreak is for my family. My wife and I will have to sit our children down, one of whom is at the age where her friends will surely see the press and ask questions

about the nature of these claims and explain the cruelty and greed of people. I mourn yet another loss of innocence. Children should not have to endure such at their young age. It is unfair to have to try to understand inexplicable degrees of malice meant to destroy families and human spirit. My heart and support goes out to true victims in the world who have to watch how their life story

is dressed in costume for profitability by this ambulance chaser in a cheap suit. You have made a terrible judgment in thinking that all celebrities are the same. I'm not from your world. I'm a young man, no. I'm a young man who made it out of the projects of Brooklyn. We don't play these type of games.

We have very strict codes and honor. We protect children. You seem to exploit people for personal gain. Only your network of conspiracy theorists. Fake physics. That doesn't make any sense. Fake physics. I think you were trying to say fake psychics, maybe,

but that also doesn't make sense. Fake physics. What the fuck is he talking about? I feel like he wrote this in a moving car. will believe the idiotic claims you have levied against me that if not for the seriousness Surrounding harm to kids would be laughable. I look forward to showing you just how different I am Today I mean didn't you like fuck Beyonce when she was like 15 Oh, she's like when she was like 16 or 17, and they got married when she was 19 I think or they started dating when she was 19. So he waited.

Yeah, so it's plausible enough. In his Cormac way he waited. Sure, in that Cormac way. I mean he responded. In that Cormac way. He responded pretty quick. The Cormac news was thrilling to me because there is a 37 year old man who I've been in love with for the past two years and when that broke I did get to send him like a picture

of like the New York Post article about like Augusta Britt and C that broke, I did get to send him a picture of the New York Post article about Augusta, Britt, and Cormac and I got to say, this is so us and he was like, yeah it is. So it was exciting to me. Are you fucking this 37 year old game? We're not fucking, I think we're playing the long game. Okay, but there is a tension. When he's 57 and I'm 30, we'll be able to,

or when I'm 40. You do seem like you're waiting for Woody Allen to find out about you. Yeah, if he can quit the yellow fever that he's got, then I can be his new face. I think if you pull the ice back, you could go for Chinese. I think you could play that. Well, that'll be my first facelift.

That's in about 57 years. You get a sideways facelift? Yeah, to match my sideways pussy, after all. Right. But of course. Right. Would you get the Anya Taylor Joy thing? Where her eyes are on either side of her head,

like a hammerhead shark. No, I find her to be an incredibly boring actress, and that's an unpopular opinion. I agree. She's good in The Witch and The Northman and stuff. She's good in The Northman, and she was gorgeous in the Northmen, but like I otherwise I find her to be really boring And so I don't find a show Shit about like Hollywood people to you

Kathy Griffin Regular Kathy Griffin you're not afraid cuz You'll work with all these people probably I mean you're on a yeah But you're going to the mothership so tip for tap. Yeah, that's a good point You guys are one if I'm hanging out with like Gardini or something like all called plus one was that a name drop? Yeah, it was a big name. There's a big name. Just huge name job Everybody knows Sean Gardini is the most famous comedian Huge name job everybody knows Sean Gardini is the most famous comedian

Funny he hit me up recently and he goes who was the cripple you had a beef with and it made me rethink I don't want to say his name, but he the local comic he was a local local cripple real piece of wheelchair Wheelchair and the will see real fucked up up, but just went at me one day online. Yeah, to be fair, Devin did not start it. I didn't start anything. I had nothing to do with it. But he attacked me. And then I went to his. Was Sean like, I fucking hate that guy.

He thought I was a. That's a good impression. I fucking hate that guy. You fucking gay guy. He's a fucking pedophile. No, he thought it was some other guy. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, I could have swore you said you had a beef

with this crippled guy. And I was like, huh? And then I had to think about it. And I was like, oh, yeah, I He's like, I could have swore you said you had a beef with this crippled guy. And I was like, huh? And then I had to think about it. And I was like, oh yeah, I had a beef with this other crippled guy. But this was the beauty of Devan, the guy started talking shit about him and then you started just talking shit back.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, I was like, I'll never. On Facebook. I don't remember this. I was like, your voice, the text is insane right now. I can't believe a Quicker going like. Who was this guy? He was in our scene a little bit Where's like leather jackets and shit and then I went to his Facebook page and I realized like oh like literally like you're the Most unlikeable cripple of all time like you like three Facebook. He's like he has like three likes on it

Yeah, this is back in the day. They're often vicious people. He had like three likes on every post. Like no one cared. I was like, oh, you've alienated everybody. If you're a cripple guy, you get at least 20, 30 likes. That's the thing. People are like, at least like, yeah, keep going. If you have dad's syndrome.

Like Life is the Ellen Show every day? No one was in favor of him. He doesn't even get on like America's Got Talent or anything. No, nothing's happening. He's burning nose bridges. Yeah, exactly. He's singing with Susan Boyle in heaven Got Talent or anything. No, nothing's happening. He's burning nose bridges. Yeah, exactly. He's singing with Susan Boyle in heaven right now. In the 90s?

She died? No. I actually don't know. No, I think she got skinny. So to you, her aura is dead. Yeah, you can't clap it anymore. In the 90s, disabled people and retarded people, or I'm sorry, people with Down syndrome and stuff, they were very kind

From what I remember in the 90s They were so nice and they just love like candy and like popsicles and like the clouds and stuff And now I feel like they're like vicious mean Cocksuckers I've known some people with down and I know people who have relatives with very bad like autism Down syndrome and they will admit that they almost use their down syndrome and autism like the usual suspects. It's leverage they have over people. There's literally a guy I know, he'll be like,

yeah, my whatever relative walks into public, and he just walks up to a guy and goes, can I have 10 dollars? And the guy's like, give him money. That's awesome. And then he just walks away like, fucking suck, he's born it, every minute. Wait until people with like intellectual disabilities

figure out about the Me Too movement and everything, it's gonna be like lights out for them. I'm a kid, you know what I mean? They try to cancel God. Yeah. They write a big post about God. They keep accusing themselves by accident. I raped me.

This is the man I raped me. This is the man who raped me. It's a drawing of him. It's a Crayola drawing of him. He goes me, my dick, arrow. His dick is pointing at his face. He goes nine times a day for 20 years, I raped Matthew. Yeah, but no, they totally, like they totally know that people are being nice to them because of their afflictions.

It's just how it is now, unfortunately. I mean, you give them access to the internet, they figure out different sort of pockets of things. Maybe they're not as retarded as we thought. Exactly. I guess you're right. You give a mouse a crown, he asks for two crowns, that's how the cycle goes

Give a mouse a chicken fry yes for a whole box Yeah Becoming more retarded to you right? There's more of them every second who's becoming isn't like Down syndrome Like it used to be like one in ten thousand000, now it's like one in 200. Oh, all of our balls are fucked. Yeah, we get too much plastic in the balls. Balls and dicks and pussies are. Cause you put your phone in your pocket

and then it's sending coded messages to your balls to make the kid gay. Exactly. And RFK is gonna change those. Right. But yeah, every dick is on crutches and the pussy has like a neck brace on and everyone's just coming out fucked. My pussy is one arm, I don't even know how it happened.

Yeah, there you go. It's cause like my mom was probably swimming in like nuclear, like a lake next to like a nuclear power plant. And then, you know, it makes your balls fucked and your pussy fucked. You do, you talk, you say you have an infamously fucked up pussy all the time.

Yeah, I mean, I just think it's like funny to say, but also like probably it is. Yeah, I don't know, is that that are you just saying it cuz it's funny I mean, maybe it's just funny But also it's just like I just think like if it actually ended up being like totally crazy Like I just want to get I'm just waiting to get in front of the right doctor who like is gonna confirm what I'm scared About and like I can really lean into the bit But like sure I just think it would be funny if on top of everything else that's wrong with me,

my twat was also like messed up. You're waiting to run into the right doctor that needs to run more tests. Yeah, and needs to put more pills in my pocket. You've been asking your healthcare to get you with Larry Nassar for years. I wanna do flips. Yeah, yeah.

I wanna be flexible. If you get, because nothing's forever now in Hollywood. You know, you have to be forever evolving and changing. And you get a guy to go down there, a Larry Nassar surgeon type. He goes down there with a couple butterfly knives and he's just slicing and dicing. Gives me a labiaplasty.

A whole new world down there. You're not born with the, I mean, you're gonna just, you keep, it's like a video game where you keep leveling up. You get to a lot. You could do like, you could do my ride, basically. You get like lights put in. You know? Hit my gash.

You could have spinners down there, it's like people, when they eat you out, it like, your clip like rotates like a Bentley B. You have such big dreams for me, I really appreciate it. I believe in you and your pussy. I feel like the father I never had. My dad never talks about my pussy. This is kinda all you want.

You want your Jewish dad to sit you down and say I love your pussy, it's beautiful. The reason why I was buying so much Xanax was because my dealer was an older gentleman and I would get in the front seat of his car and he would go, how are you? And it sounded genuine and I hadn't had an older man ask me about my day in quite a while.

So I think that kept me coming back. It wasn't even really the pills, it was just the because you probably feel abandoned by your dad. Of course. Emotionally. She's definitely all girls. You're from LA right? Mm hmm.

She's from West Hollywood actually, that's why she's so fucked up. Because of the rainbow crosswalks. It's all the woke shit. Right, right. Born in the gayborhood, the toxic waste from the gayborhood. You grew up in the woke, like, high.

You grew up around like, transgender hamburger bars and. Yeah, her dad was Ed Buck. Who's Ed Buck? Your dad was fucking raping homeless black guys on like air mattresses. Injecting them with heroin. He was injecting them with like, diesel.

Yeah. He would take them out of the 76 and get some gasoline for the guzzles. He was like, he was like Harvey Milk. He would like, inject homos black guys with like, hot shots and then like, throw them. He was Harvey Eggnog. He would just, he would just throw them

into the recycle bin up front. He would actually fuck them under a mattress with like, skulls on the wall. Five years ago, six years ago? And then he would fuck them. He would dump the black guy the wall five years ago, and then he would fuck him He would dump the black guy on the curb like he was trash. He was dead And then he would go right at would pick him up And then he'd write a big check to Hillary Clinton and send it in the mail

Came out around Why don't we hear about this more? Yeah? Yeah, one would wonder why we don't hear about Yeah, I don't think we're ever cracking the you got it kids We're ever gonna crack the game me too Yeah, I guess I have it but now I know you know, yeah, he was lit he was even a shepherding me towards greatness tonight Dude, he would inject them with like a combination of I think it was like a bleach and like crack and PCP and stuff Yeah, they would lay on the air mattress like Like they were like burning in hell as he fucking power fuck them in their ass and stuff

Yeah, he was jacked them off and then they would die and he would literally put them in Like three or four before yeah I don't want to slander the man's name and then he would just go and like hang out many people did he kill? Like three or four I think. Three or four, yeah. I mean I can look it up so I don't wanna slander the man's name. And then he would just go and hang out at the Barney's Beannery in town. Ed Buck? Ed Buck, this Hollywood famous Democratic donor that would inject black street people

that he found with heroin and fuck them and then kill them. How'd Jesus age? It's so funny to be named Buck and rape black guys. Tariq Nusheed is rolling in his grave. To actually buck break people, as your name. You hear he's sentenced 30 years in federal prison. Ed Buck.

Edward Buck. Only 30. So it was two deaths confirmed, I guess. He was 67, and he was sentenced. Trial in July 2021. Two men died in his apartment after he injected them with the drug. But it was a cocktail he had.

It wasn't just methamphetamine. Oh, wow. Party and play is what they call it in the gay community. Yeah, party and play. And Tina, whatever. Like, gays call it Tina. When you want to fucking do meth, it's party and play. Yeah, he said a buck distributed drugs including methamphetamine GHB the date rape drug and

Clonazepam that is you know that you're on that right now aren't you? I'm no I'm not on that anymore. I can't do it. I started falling asleep during the day when I was standing up And I would tell the same story like four times in a row and pretend that I had just invented it It was awesome. I was so cool back there. The deaths actually that's so funny. The deaths didn't deter I mean, he just he kept killing people and then he killed another guy. Well, do you think his goal was probably to kill them? It's probably a serial killer. So why would he stop after? One of them died. I mean, he you know, he's got a you think he was like, oh shit I got to try this again

so I don't make the same mistake as last time. For all I know, this is the occult. This is what they do. This is their blood rituals they have for the government and stuff. Who's they? They them. Do you want me to?

Do you really? The Democrats. His name is Ed Buck. The Democrats? Yeah, I know. He's a dem. I know, but there's the puppet, and then there's the strings, and then there's the Marionettes at the top.

You know what I mean? Right. I'm learning so much. Because the world's a stage. Yep. Life is a cabaret, old chum. Yeah. Life is a cabaret.

And all the rapist players. I'll look up right now how much money Ed Buck donated. He was one of the biggest donors. For like what, Hillary? Or just like the Democratic Party General? He donated $1,488,000,000 though. Uh... Geez, yeah, this is him. That's literally him with...

That's him? I think so. Yeah Both Ion look at that look at him danger danger danger Wow, and this is where you know, you grew up you're you basically got mk'd You became like an iPad baby before iPads and then a game rape baby I was a gay rape.. Well you were telling me. Biproxy baby. Upstairs you were telling me that you held like a crack baby and like dropped it or something. I did drop a coke baby against the leg of a wooden

coffee table when I was about eight years old. I don't know where that kid is now or how he is, but I know I really probably scrambled him. No offense, you can't hold my daughter. I'm not gonna. I'm just letting you, after that story. Last time I held a baby, I was like mad high. This girl that I was like friends with

in like middle school and high school was like a few years older than me. She got married to and had a baby with a guy in his 50s and she showed up to my, and God bless this girl and her child, she showed up with her 50-something year old husband to our friend's 17th birthday party. And we were all sitting in the backyard passing a joint around and she was smoking with us.

And then her 50-something year old husband was just sitting there looking at us, not getting any of our inside jokes. And she had to explain Gen Z's lying to him. And that's when I realized like oh I'm from a place where bad stuff happens and then you dropped their baby I didn't drop her baby no I held on tight because I knew the mistakes I'd made in the past but I was high as fuck yeah yeah but you went into like a three-point stance with the baby I was be careful yeah dude look at this shit right here. What's going on? This is one of the guys, Mr. Buck's living room,

a man named Gimel Moore? Yeah. Gimel Moore. Gimel Dalit Hey, Gimel Dalit Hey. A homeless former escort was found naked on a mattress. It was the Hebrew letters. And Mr. Buck's living room, surrounded by drug paraphernalia. I've become addicted to drugs and the worst one at that,

he had reportedly written in a journal found after his death. Ed Buck is the one to thank. He gave me my first injection of crystal meth. The entry continued, if I didn't hurt so bad, I'd kill myself, but I'll let Ed Buck do it for now. Oh, so Ed Buck, he liked Ed. Is Marcy killing? He liked Ed.

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Happy holidays from Turtle Beach. I mean, he got him hooked on the stuff and then decided to let him sink further into the sea. Does Charlie XCX know these are her fans? Yeah, that's what Apple's about. Yeah. Yeah, Ed Bucketsoe Brat. I think the meth is falling back to the core. I call him Ed Br I call them all the black guys. I killed before yeah, yeah

Yeah No, I mean now you know we'll read the same story about choice of on in like 10 years He'll be he's a killer. Yeah, he'll be doing this you think T sizzle is a killer sure I Mean it's pretty easy to believe when it's like Jay-Z fucked a kid. I'm like, yeah, of course he did. Jay-Z responded to that quicker than ether. He immediately was like, I have a response. Yeah, I got bars. I got bars.

It was almost like it was pre-written. Like he knew that it was going to know it was going to drop. But I like the fake psychics, the fake fake physics, fake psychics line is like, maybe he threw that in as a purposeful typo to make people think he just wrote it, so he's blindsided, but he's known as his cunning. I think you go next level, I think a PR team wrote that and they go, we gotta make it sound black,

and they purposely went through and misspelled shit after writing it. Him calling himself a young man is so ridiculous. I think there was five five Jewish 25 year olds and they're like can we put X in the apology or is that too on the nose? Can we put pizza in the apology? You could tell it was written by a Jew

because they said not one red penny at the beginning. Not a penny. Not one penny, not my fucking pennies. I'm not giving you one of my pennies. They go, we loved you in the story of OJ, how you gave our secrets away. Thank you Mr. Z. You can come to Israel and rape all the kids you want.

You could be in the Illuminati now. He didn't do it. Come on man, all these guys do it. He didn't do it. He said it was with Diddy, it was like in conjunction with Diddy. Do you think he's not a corruptible man? Come on man all these guys deal it Do you think he's not a corruptible man, I think all these people when they pursue power Corruptible, I think I think

This time and Jay-Z is so business minded that like I don't think he would ever Boring he's literally too boring to be a pedophile. It's for cool guys. Like Delia? We're avant-garde, dude. So, wait, so you're saying Drake is more interesting than Jay-Z? No, no. Because you say Drake is a pedophile. You've said that many times.

Drake's a hack about being a pedophile. Drake's not a classic pedophile. Drake's like a, like, all right, all right, all right. Do you think Delia is an interesting figure? If you think a pedophile has to be an interesting figure, you think Delia is an interesting artist? If you think a pedophile has to be an interesting figure, you think Delia is an interesting artist? No, we're running with a joke now. I do not think pedophiles are interesting figures.

But I- Some of them are very interesting. Some of them are. Some of them are. Of course, I know. We've talked about this before. I'm just saying, Jay-Z is so, money. Like, he's all about money.

I don't think he cares about, like- He cares about the Benjamin's. I don't think he would rape a 13 year old. He cares about the red pennies. He cares about red pennies. The blueprint was about don't rape kids so you can own more real estate holdings. Honestly, maybe he is a pedophile though,

because he is very Jewish for a black guy. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I think he got on that when he started getting into, you know, real estate and paintings and shit. You said you think he has a history with this Tony Busby guy? Yeah. What is that?

I don't know, but I just really quickly online taking a shit, I was like, oh, it seems like there's something here. But I don't know how to. Damn, Devin Cost is looking into it. I don't know how to define it. Don't worry guys. Devin's wiping his ass and scrolling on his phone.

Jay-Z. He's gonna get to the bottom of this. Jay-Z is guilty of being a bore and probably the most overrated artist of all time, in my opinion. I like the beats. I don't like when he's rapping. I love Jay-Z.

Reasonable Doubt's amazing and stuff. But yeah, I just think he's too about his money to do something like this. Diddy is a maniac. Diddy's dressing up as Joker on Halloween. Come on. Okay, well how about this? Hard Knock Life, great song,

but it is, it features a little girl in it. A bunch of little Shirley Temple. I'm just saying, it's a little weird. And is this girl white or black? Who's accusing him? Annie is white. Yeah, that song is about him raping Annie in prison. Annie was-

Our kid goes to prison. A little redhead. The freckled girl goes to prison with him. P to the etto, we all know that song. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, I think he did it. I don't know, he's, yeah.

I don't think he did. As soon as I hear it, someone's gonna cry a thought. I don't think he did it. I don't like Jay-Z, but I don't think he did it. I think they all do it, man. No, man. I think it's very, I think it's a civil suit. Yeah, it's not criminal.

Jay-Z's probably gay, by the way. Okay, so why would he wanna fuck some disgusting girl? Because he's a Satanist Illuminati guy surrounded with, you know, people and he's in the Illuminati. That's too easy, that's too easy. I think, I mean, yeah, it is a... Come now.

It is a civil, it's a civil case, not a criminal case, which is like, why would you... It's money, it's a money grab. It's an immediate money grab. They don't even try, they don't even do like a performative like, no, criminal, like, this is really horrible. They immediately wet the money. They immediately wet the money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I believe the children. Sorry. Well, and that's one of my beliefs. I believe the children. Go ahead, keep believing the children, we'll keep losing money on Patreon. Ben, you need to get a Daniel Perry tattoo staff.

A penny? Daniel Penny, excuse me. I love Daniel Penny. Yeah, yeah. Not one Daniel Penny. Not one, you're not gonna get one Daniel Penny. Not one red Daniel Penny. I love Daniel Penny, by the way.

I don't know why it's like a white supremacist thing to say that like, I don't think the guy did anything wrong. Yeah. Clearly from watching the video. I think he should have went harder. When he gets off, he has a big fight with Habib coming up. Dana White is like, Dana White can't wait to sign him.

Habib's beating him up, he goes, let's impersonate Michael Jackson now. The whole fight happens in a subway. Andrew Schultz comes in, he's raping Daniel Penny. Yeah, it's fucking fucking raping him on the is he a rapist? No, he's going to rape Patrick Lamar is very strange. Yeah. Well, he was trying. I mean, listen, I'm going to once again, I don't like Andrew Schultz either,

but I'm a little sick of the black people need to like get together online. Like they're they get way too like Ivy. They get way. Yeah, no, Ivy, I'm sorry, listen, your people need to figure it out. They say it's like a buck breaking thing, because he said he was gonna rape Kendrick, and they're like, oh, these white people, they trying to buck break.

It's just a bad joke, but they're acting like Andrew Schultz was thinking on this 4D chess level about buck breaking black men. No, he's just saying he's bigger than Kendrick, and he thinks, he's so excited to be in the same Sentence as Kendrick Lamar after the year that Kendrick just had that he's of course gonna be like Kendrick was talking about me And I'm gonna make some jokes back and he knows that this would happen and everyone it's all yeah, it's pro wrestling Obviously it sucks Kendrick was really talking about the black eye on Flakrant 2 that just sits there and feels like-

Akash saying? Akash. No, but there's a real black guy there. All the fans of Flakrant 2 think Akash is black. If you told them that he was Indian, they'd be fucking pissed. They'd be like, where is that? Yeah, they'd go, I thought that was just a spicy brother.

I thought they all black. Yeah. I'm my mama. No, Andrew Schultz is obviously just trying to get press for this. Yeah. He didn't even name him in the fucking song, did he? No.

It could have been. It was obviously them because Slaygrin 2 had on these two black British guys that were talking shit about black women or whatever, and then Andrew Schultz made the black woman joke. But I mean, come on. I don't like Andrew Schultz that much, but. What if he was talking about when the party?

That's the thing, it could be about any white, what are we talking about? Can we send Ivy as a messenger to the black community on Twitter? I think you should appear before black Twitter, you speak the language a little bit, you can let them know, you could form a fucking, A tribunal.

Yeah, a tribunal. Yeah, a tribunal, hold court for a little bit. It's like the UN, where they all gather. You have a Kaisenat, and you have, who are those guys? Fuck off. I Show Speed is there. There you go.

What is it, 85 South? 85 South is there. Just keep going down the line. They're all, and the African guys that Biden keep going down the line, they're all. And the African guys that Biden fell asleep in front of, they're there. That was cool. By the way, I don't know what the fuck is happening

to my algorithm on Instagram. Is this happening to you guys? It's just African guys eating meat off the ground? No. No. No. I can show you real quick. Mine is like Mexican women being like, today we're going to make pozole, and I'm like, yes, no, I can show you real quick Mexican women being like today we're going to make puzzle a and I'm like yes. Yes Yeah, today my Twitter was all just like that that Mexican meme. Yeah There's a black ex-Mexican race war happening on Twitter because um some like, you know

Like Twitter tag got oh wow. Yeah, you're right. It's literally just all my feet is now Well, it's this and I don't know why it's just guys eating stuff. I don't know what it is And what is that a tongue of some horrific animal? I think it's like a plant and it's like and then like a fat woman with a Stanley Cup, it's this guy's eating a monkey's head It's literally a monkey's head. It's steaming and he bites into it and I like I was like is this AI Is there brains in it? Why is there somebody with the technology of an iPhone around them? Like after doesn't have phones I don't get who's filming this what psychopaths come on

It's literally a monkey. With an iPhone. He's like, you ate my brother. It's got an iPhone 12, yeah. No, that's my feed now. If I get on Instagram, it's just a different animal. That makes a fair point. It is weird to be like, hey, let's all eat this monkey and then go charge my iPhone 16.

That's what I'm saying. It's a little weird. It's fucking odd. They go to a cafe to get Wi-Fi. It's being perfectly filmed. They're like, yeah, they're at a Starbucks. They're like, I'll get the coffee, and can I get some monkey brains? This is in Griffith Park.

And what's the Wi-Fi password? This is here. This is Griffith Park. This is on Six and Broadway. Yeah. We were doing that last night. We were at this incredibly crowded bar. And me and Dev were just yelling at each other.

We were like, they're sneaking into the country eating cats. They're eating fucking dogs, dude. And then just fucking dancing to the music. Dude, one guy came out, he looked like Trans Moana, just rolled're eating fucking dogs, dude. And then just like fucking dancing to the music. Dude, one guy came out, he looked like trans Moana, just rolled in glitter. Yeah, yeah. Just a guy with, it was a, fuck, it was insane. It was a bar on the sunset.

And me and Devan were looking at each other like, I mean, Jesus. I really thought I saw- No, it was like, if you were in Hawaii and the pig that they were eating with the apple in its mouth had a beard and a dress on. It looked like trans Fred Flintstone. There's a lot of those at Emerson.

Like with the eight man gown and it was disgusting. There's a lot of those at Emerson. It's obnoxious and they need to fucking knock it off. I'm completely sick of it. The guy who rapes the girl who wears the guy liner and the Hamilton beanie, apparently he's been experimenting with skirts lately. They all turn trans, yeah, you rape and then you become trans.

But it's not even a trans thing, it's like he's still a guy. It's like witness protection for rapists becoming trance. He's still a guy. He's just like, I guess maybe for easier access for when he sees a drunk woman or something. He doesn't have to unzip her eyeballs. Like those chef aprons you get at Spencer's Gifts. You can just lift and push.

You don't need to use ball deodorant anymore. You got the airflow going. Right, exactly. So that it smells. you know, when your balls are like, when it's wafting back up onto your face while you're raping a drunk girl, it smells better. Sure, sure. So you're not like, pee you, while you're raping a girl who's dead.

Of course. Raping a theater student who's passed out. Yeah. If you are like, if you're a guy and you rape a woman. Well, you pointed to me. And then you transition into a woman. It's kind of like in the mob movies when like they kill a guy and you rape a woman, well you point it to me. And then you transition into a woman. It's kind of like in the mob movies when they kill a guy with a gun

and they take the gun and they throw it in the river. Kevin Spacey's in Israel now. You go, you get your dick cut off and then it's disposed of. They can't even run tests anymore with the rail kit. It doesn't work. It's like putting your hands on the stove. Exactly.

They're like, we dragged the river, we found his penis. Yeah. He cuts his dick off, throws it in the river. He's holding it up, it's all fucked up and you shoot on. He threw his cock into the Hudson. There's also so many sex offenders in Israel. Kevin Spacey, last week, people were taking photos with him in Jerusalem or something.

Kevin Spacey's innocent too. Listen, once again, with gay people and their whole thing with 15-year-olds, it's black people and dog fighting. I'm not gonna get into it. It's a cultural issue. And Kevin Spacey's fine, it's not my responsibility. He's one of our best actors, he's not a pedophile,

he's a fucking gay weirdo, he's just gay. Yeah. And he even tried to do it immediately, and he did it a little too soon, but he was like, I'm just gay. I mean all gay guys wanna fuck kids, it is what it is. They're all pedophiles to some extent. Pedophile.

To the fullest extent. Oh really? Not to some. Are you saying that? Is that final? That's my final statement. Final answer? Final answer.

We're going to print. Print it! Print it, run it! That's the episode, patreon.com slash living party. Big spitting newspaper, gays are pedophiles! Extra extra read all about it! Come on the corner. Scientists discovered they're all pedophiles. Extra, extra, read all about it. Come on the corner. Scientists discovered they're all pedophiles.

Extra, extra. And then a gay guy comes and rapes that kid. He rapes the kid. He sells him the papers. He's the paperboy cat. Extra, extra, I'm getting raped by a gay guy. This is like the Daily Wire reboot of Newsies. Thank you for coming on the show.

Yeah, thank you, Ivy. Thank you for having me. We really appreciate it. I'm sorry to your fans. I'm sorry to how you guys might struggle to pay your water bill after this hits Patreon. We'll see how this goes. We'll see.

You could just AI like a guy's face over mine. I think you're funny. It's fine. We're very critical. The fan base is very critical. It is what it is. It's fun. It's a fun.

They're also joking a lot of the time. Any mean comment you read about yourself, just they're joking. But you listen to Lemon Party. OK, we're actually adding you out of the show. Are you one of those fucking assholes? It's like it is in movies. You don't watch yourself. No, I do watch it because I want to know what I am doing wrong or right.

And I also want to see like, okay, did I look fat that month? And you also wanna be like, this rules, I'm in a fucking movie. I'm sick of these fucking cunts in Hollywood. Adam Driver. That never watch their own movie, fuck you. Adam Driver like throwing a fit, like I don't know, five years ago at like Cannes

or Venice or something because like they were like, you have to stay to watch the premiere of your movie and he like yelled at somebody. Just fucking chill, just watch. How about you think of the fact that it's so rare to be in a fucking movie. Exactly. What a miracle it is that a good movie was made.

And you're a millionaire from it. You're in it, fucking watch yourself. I always do, I always do. You gotta learn, how else are you gonna learn how to be better the next time if you don't pay attention? But you are, you're trying to be so black you're showing up late to your own premiere. You got me.

You really got me, Devan. You really, really got me. Well that was, yeah, that was an attack on you. Yeah, it was an attack on my character, yeah. No, I'm really trying to attack you. Yeah, you're really taking my character Yeah, no I in closing Don't kill yourself

Bullshit again, it's like, you know, I want to you please get back. I'm not tweeting about killing myself anymore All right. I didn't know I just had to had to just leave for a little bit I'm back to being regular as fuck. a little bit. It was not regular as fuck Okay, cool. All right good. All right. Well, we'll reinstate you but you're on thin ice. You're on thin ice now. It's okay I understand. Do you want to promote your? Shit your Twitter. Yeah Do you want to promote the Oscars? Maya my tweet that's not me. Oh fuck. It's wait. Who's that? I don't know an imposter

Wolk dress my Twitter is you're like shadows Well, no, it's still not right wait, what is it WLK TR? It's right there So this is me on Twitter and so you can follow me there and You are a low-b for Hollywood Yeah See so I'm tweeting important stuff like the race war between black people and Mexicans all over my timeline is really upsetting me I miss the schoolyard days where they bonded over laughing on my outfits

Can't we get back to that is harmony obsolete thinking with the Mexican flag and the Nigerian flag and then a photo of me looking sad. That's irreverent. You stole all of my tangerines a few nights ago and I came home later and then I saw on Twitter you were bragging about your theft. Yeah, I ate about seven. You went into my fridge. I ate about seven of your tangerines

but your girlfriend said that I could because nobody was eating them and she was like, I'm not gonna eat them. Well, I just bought them. She's unaware of that because she's been gone for a long time She was also so I should know She was arrested earlier today for raping Baron Trump I Heard a video of him speaking I was told he sounds good. Yes. I was told by somebody I know who grew up in Florida that what they had like come to know is that he was like non-verbal autistic But that was actually just debunked because I saw a clip of him speaking and he sounds totally regular

Yeah, the media lies about these people, you know the news media I'm except because I saw the whole like oh, he's gonna be like a Roman Emperor You've seen the meme. Yeah sure And now I kind of buy it. Should I try and fuck Baron Trump? Yes. We live in the same city. He's on Discord. Did you see the news?

Yes, I did. He asked for a few friends at his school to with their Discord. I have to figure out how to use Discord and then I'll try and find him on there. You should. IvyWolk, everybody, at WolkTris, is there anything you wanna promote your Patreon

because your pussy's on there? You can find it through my Twitter. If you're living New York on January 14th, will this be out before then? This will be out in a few days. This will be out in a few days. Okay. On a January 14th at Second City in Williamsburg,

my show Struggle Bus is there. Tickets and line up will be available soon. We've got some really good people coming out. It's gonna be a big show, good show. I also run a show called The Right Side of History at The Stand in Manhattan. Don't know when the next one of that is yet, but you can follow me on Twitter,

at Wulktris, to get show info, and you can also follow my new Instagram, at Wulkmindvirus. Thanks, bye. Well, we are IV defenders over here. Thank you, boys. We'll always defend you unless, of course, you keep up, you go back the other way.

I'm normal now. Then in which case, I'll mute you again. I'm regular style now. Okay, all right. I believe it, you're on the- I've watched High School High. Oh, I told her to watch high school. I would John love it. You know the opening scene It is actually pretty funny. I mean movie is so funny So I don't have that I can't do audio right now, but I'll just in closing we can watch this real quick

Hold on the high school high intro. This movie is so funny Dude, this intro is fucking hilarious. So he's like. Oh, you've shown me this before. Yeah, yeah. He's like a teacher on his way to class. This is a film from like, 90s, It's 96. 96.

So like he's on his way to class, right? And then like as a new teacher, and then he's driving into the inner city and you can, you can. Yeah, you've shown me this before. Yeah, yeah. And then he's here. It's good.

Right here when he finally gets into the school his car gets stolen immediately of course the city's apart It's Marion Barry. Hi. It's very good, but then right here when he's coming in When he's coming into the school there, there's a crazy Watch the black guys hair right here with the cornrows Watch the black guy's hair right here with the cornrows. There's a fucking cop car. It's the OJ Bronco and the cop car. All I never realized it was the OJ chase. I actually just realized that as well.

That's amazing. It's by the guys who did Airplane. Yeah, it's by the guy, yeah, it's by, David Zucker wrote it. It's really funny and John Lovitz is a one of a kind comedian performer. He's kind. He's amazing. He's amazing. He's fucking incredible.

He's the best. As Andy Kornbluth in Happiness. You love Todd Salon. I love Todd Salon, he's my favorite. Is he gonna still make movies or? He's having trouble getting funding for his new one and I'm like Elizabeth Olsen's in it, like can't she just fucking throw her millions at it?

Dude, all the greats are struggling to get any funding to make anything. It's fucked's in it, like can't she just fucking throw her millions at it? Like. Dude, all the greats are struggling to get any funding to make anything. It's fucked up, John Waters like can't afford to make his new movie, David Lynch can't afford to make his new movie, it's really twisted. David Lynch can't afford air. You got him.

Got him. Yeah, fuck him. Sometimes somebody took him down. David Lynch goes, you got me kiddo. You roasted my ass kid. Yeah you really got him. All right well patreon.com slash lemon party for all the archives.

We got hundreds of episodes over there and Merry Christmas everybody. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas everybody. And Happy Hanukkah to the people who don't know. No, no, no, no. No. Merry Christmas.

Bad. Happy Hanukkah, fuck Jay-Z. What about Kwanzaa? No Happy Hanukkah fuck Jay-z No Is fake and I also heard black people so other black people in slavery So we can get into that on the page all right, but the black people sold them to the Jews so white people Black people so black people slavery and that's final, But then the Jews made the ships that the black people drove. No, I don't know about that. The black people were on the ships like Mortimer Mouse and the Steeple Willie and the Disney,

the first Disney cartoon. Please end this. Oh, I found my rape whistle. Press end. Oh, you found the rape whistle. I found the rape whistle, finally. I stole it from you. Bye, everybody.

Bye. Bye. Bye! Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in roses cantina Music would play and Folito would whirl. Blacker than night were the eyes of Bolita, Wicked and evil while casting a spell. I love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while, young Calmore came in Wild as the West Texas wind