lemonparty - 112: Abundant Life

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

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Oh, yeah, I have these Mike is still here Just in case a woman's spirit is still in here babbling away We had a great time we took a we took a diner, we told her to quit stand-up. She asked for advice on stand-up, but we told her to quit immediately. And then it turns out Ivy shot up her school today. Yeah, Ivy chopped her quid off and then shot up her school.

I don't think it's a trans shooter. Not a trans? People keep saying it. I think it was just a woman. Just an ugly woman? I don't know, everyone's saying, look, look, Ben has it right there. That could be a trans. I don't know everyone's saying That could be a trans I guess it looks semi-trans I think it's a biological woman I do like when the shooter looks trans and everybody gets a little excited Yeah, this is gonna be a fun day on Twitter, right? Yeah where they go today I know we'll get upset if I call them it today. I

Get to really I get to make up for a lot of a lot of days of grace. I had to give for no reason Yeah, well either shooter that she killed herself to so at least no one has to hear her story about it That's how you tell if she's actually trans or not if her stories are good. Mm-hmm interesting Mm-hmm. Yeah, imagine imagine the fee Imagine the female shooter that doesn't kill herself and runs home to tell her boyfriend about it, and the boyfriend kills himself. He's like, this is horrible. The final victim of the shooting

was a man who had to listen to her speak. Oh, we're just getting word the police who interrogate her also later killed themselves in their car. After listening to her tell a story about shopping at the gun store for an hour and a half. Now remember during Uvalde, everybody was like looks the guy looks trans and people got like crazy excited Yeah, ended up not being a trans guy. I believe right uh Just a weird you all it was not true. You've all been you know this turn my volume on your shit really

Oh mine's really on one. No, that's I think that mine third one. Can you turn mine down? Oh, yeah, they're a little No, that's I think that mine third one. Can you turn mine down? Oh, yeah They're a little bit up a little bit up right there Okay, thanks pal. I can hear that's better. Yeah, there we go. Okay, there we go. No you've all D was a You've all D was funny to me because it was like grandma's boy Was like a 19 year old Mexican kid who like lived in his grandma's basement Yeah, the day he like turned 18 or whatever He uses grandma's credit cards to buy a bunch of bullets and guns and stuff

He got him in the mail and he opened them and it was like you could just see this either the biggest smile on his face I'm sure as he was opening that is funny. Just him be like grandma. Can I use your car? She's like, okay, sweetie, use it to do your shooting. Have fun at school killing people. Which is the way, if you're gonna buy a bunch of guns and bullets and bombs to kill a bunch of people, put it on layaway. Yeah, yeah. Don't buy it cash.

Yuvaldi was also so funny because first off, everybody thought he was trans for a day. That was a debate. And then there was some footage of the cops just playing Angry Birds on their phone while kids' heads are exploding in the background. And then third, I don't know where, you just see Matthew McConaughey at a press conference

just doing his thing, talking about the shooting. That's right, that's why it got more press, because of the cops not going in and McConaughey, right? McConaughey is from Uvalde, which is north of Houston. So they deemed that one a bad shooting. Yeah, sorry, north of San Antonio. Yeah, they go, Matthew McConaughey, right? Yeah. McConaughey is from Uvalde, which is north of Houston. So they deemed that one a bad shooting. Yeah. Sorry, north of San Antonio. Yeah.

They go, Matthew McConaughey's from here. This was a bad school shooting. Mm-hmm. Not good. We're gonna pretend to do something about this. We're gonna let Matthew McConaughey give a really cool, sexy speech. He was sexy, there I guess.

Yeah. He's like, that's what I hate about these shootings, man. I get older kids get more trans. Where did he speak? Why do we do that? Is that just like just to throw people off the scent of never changing anything? Like he spoke at like he spoke at the school. He went to the press conference

like there was the head sheriff. I thought they they brought him to D.C. They might have done that as well. And as they brought him to D.C. They brought him to D.C. Yeah. So he could do so he could do his podcast. If I have to see another viral video of him talking about his tuna fish salad, I'm gonna kill myself.

What a white trash piece of shit tuna salad that looked like by the way. Yeah, it looked like shit. And I love, it's the final, I've seen everybody turn on Burt, that he was so annoying in that clip. Where Matthew McConaughey keeps, they actually added, they did a nopey where they added him out of the clip because he was so annoying in that clip. Where Matthew McConaughey keeps, they actually edited, they did a nopey

where they edited him out of the clip because he was so annoying. Oh, Bert? Bert, yeah. Oh, nice. Because McConaughey's like, you add apple and Bert's like, that's so fucking, you add fucking apple and it's so fucking great!

It's so fucking great! He just, he refuses to not be heard for fucking five seconds. It has to be about him, no matter what. Dude, when he's not talking, it's like, he's like underwater,. He starts panicking. He'll pull somebody down to get up. They should do Quiet Place 4,

but it's just Bert Kreischer's the only one. He just gets tore to shreds. The aliens won't kill him because they don't want to put his body in theirs. They think he's unclean. It's like in World War Z where if you get infected, they think you're dead, so they won't kill you. Now he's a stupid bitch.

Now you're not demonizing him obviously. Sure, no I'm just making a, I'm not attacking his character. I saw that clip like a hundred times. From different people, I saw a guy from Huffington Post was talking, he's like, now the viral tuna fish salad recipe, and Matthew Cronin is like,

let me give you the behind the scenes, like they're gonna do behind the scenes of his tuna fish salad behind the scenes. Viral video? Let me give you, I drove to Pflugerville and I waited in a strip mall for his producer to come out so I could do the show. That's the good thing about the shootings

is it's a little bit of a disruption. It's a nice break from the dark news we usually get. Sure. It's a breath of fresh air. It's a breath of fresh air from the usually dark news that we're forced to consume. No, I didn't, I uh. I.

I. I. Is this the shooter by the way? It looks like Dasha. Yeah. This is the shooter. Somebody shot up Dime Square. Yeah, I think so.

Can you tell me, I just saw on Twitter. There's a trans shooter I didn't read anything about it did it how did they get a lot of people like I've five five five Yeah, the Christian Academy Christian Academy I don't really know what's going on Ben sent the the Twitter that he thought was the shooter and I thought that was a guy But then this picture keeps going around on Twitter and they say it's a girl, right? I made a joke about it Everyone's telling me it's a guy. I don't know. I did see the thing you guys sent where she forgot

to make her Google Doc public for her manifesto. This person posted this. Did they post that today? Yeah, this was today. This was at 8.45am. So I think this is before they went in with guns. And this is the manifesto. You click on it.

It's not shareable to the fucking world. It's a fucking retard. Is that the shooter though? That is the shooter, right? I guess, I think. Go up, yeah. The shooter was a big fan of Steph Curry and Clay Thompson and the Spongebob Brothers. Now, if you go to the people that the shooter follows, The shooter was a big fan of Steph Curry and Klay Thompson and the Splash Brothers. Now if you go to the people that the shooter follows, you know, because these people do

have friends actually, despite what the media will tell you, they always go, oh, there's a lonely people. It's like, no, they had a thriving community. They have more friends than you of like-minded people. Right here, this is a lady. That's a real person? Yeah, this is a real lady. Threw them in the trash. That's a real person? Yeah, this is a real lady. Threw them in the trash.

That's not the shooter, that's somebody she follows. He's a good friend. That's the person that said I was in love with the shooter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're a great person. So that's a real human being. That's a real Japanese person doing something. Is that an actual Japanese person?

Or are they doing this? Like, did they get a bunch of costumes? I can tell, for some reason I can tell that's a Japanese person, something. Is that an actual Japanese person? Or are they doing, did they get a bunch of costumes? I can tell, for some reason I can tell that's a Japanese person, I believe. And how did they know this piece of shit? Well, here you go right here. I'm sure they were. They went to the Christian school, they let,

Christian schools let Japanese weirdos like that in? I've been doing goo goo gaga stuff all day, so Devan, I'm relying on you here. I got no fucking idea. Goo goo gaga stuff? Well, with the baby. Don't make it out to a pervert. That's really creepy. We thought you were talking about trans stuff.

What the hell? What are you doing? Huh? I was at a bar downtown called the Goo Goo Gaga. That's where you, you walking in a big diaper and guys shit on you. Since we're recording this during the day because Devon was sick yesterday because of his.

Last two days days been sick. Cause I'm assuming you had a big night this week. You went out and... No, I didn't do anything really. Oh really? And when I have been drinking, I've been like ending it after like four, five. Do you think that's why?

Could that be why you got sick? Probably my body's like, the hell are you doing? Devin, we use the alcohol to cleanse the germs. To kill germs. I gotta say, I'm gonna miss the benders. I love you going on a bender. I mean, they'll still happen here and there, you know? You're trying to pull it back a little bit?

A little bit, yeah. Damn, man, I'm gonna miss ya. No, listen. We're not saying goodbye to anything here. The guy who doesn't drink. Man, I'm gonna miss you, man. I'm just saying. I'm, when, you know what I'm not doing?

I'm not wasting them on meaningless nights. I'm not gonna try and turn something that's mediocre into some personal, glorified night. You wanna stop doing the guys, it's Tuesday. Yeah, well yeah. If it sucks, I'm just gonna go, I'll have four or five and I'll just kind of leave knowing it sucked. Or it was fine, but I'm not gonna try and make magic.

And now you're smoking that grass. No, I mean, well, the ida's back, so yeah, there's weed everywhere. That's what I mean. Ida's back, there's ganja everywhere. Yeah, I'm over it. You're dating Bob Marley. It smells like, you know when you're on the bus and you smell a homeless guy,

you're like, his weed smells kinda homeless. The house always kinda smells like that now. You're like a hobo in Venice. I was gathering a blunt, like it's birds making a nest. They go upstairs. They have ribbons over here and toothpicks and twigs. She's spitting on an old spliff and making it into a big cocoon. Just flapping.

Yeah. Ida's selling a tally t-shirts actually upstairs. She's turning it into Venice. Now, but Ida's back, it's a joyous return. So this person who knew the shooter says this, to everyone who was saying live stream it, do this, do that or anything, go fuck yourself genuinely, Samantha was one of the nicest,

most beautiful people in the world. She was perfect in every way, but no, people like you just had to ruin her life. Make her feel hated. Good. Yeah, so she had to be trans, I think. It was like a bigotry type thing. I guess, we can't, what happened to Dykes?

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Every time there's a shooting it's like it's come on. What are you talking about? That's like you're because I found this okay This is good to me. Mm-hmm. Oh Okay, nice That looks like AI like fat Sabrina Carpenter. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh god. God damn it. Yeah, that's pretty brutal.

Anyway. Decent face. Like just lose the weight. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I probably, you know, for all I know, I probably fucked her three years ago before she got really out of control. There's a good chance, right,

when she was on the borderline I got her. I'm like, basically the way I fucked back in the day was those snipers on the wall in East and West Berlin, like somebody was crossing over. And too fat to fuck, I would just like hit them one time over the top of the wall and then they would fall They would fall into the ditch on the other side and that's how I fucked back Yeah, you like you probably fucked like Rebel Wilson back

Oh, I've fucked a lot of chicks and they were all hot to me at the time But then I stock them like three years later. I'm like, that's this is insane. That's wild You look like one of the motorcycle twins from Guinness World Records now This is crazy. I Opened up Instagram. I saw an 18-way running a bunch of people over today Okay, it was like they ran a bunch of like old people over and I had like 480,000 likes I'm like who's liking yeah, you and then you like you're an 18-way rammed into a bunch of cars in Colorado It's like I looked at the news story the guy fell asleep at the wheel. He killed like five people

It's an ace. It's an 18-'re going 85 miles per hour into a stalled Lane on the highway Jesus hits cars, and it looks like Remember that burnout game on the playstation. Yeah, it looks like that. Yeah, it's just him And they're just pop they're going boom boom and you can see the people in them the whole time No, cuz it's dark, but what is funny about the video is the music that's playing in the cabin is like, oh, so like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, it's that classic like mariachi.

And everyone in the comment section is like, of course. Right. Of course. Because they're sleeping. Of course, the person filming. Yeah, he says it's time for my sister. Oh, oh, I'm never going to make the Dallas Cowboys get up. I just put the truck in cruise control, 90. The truck ran over my whole family.

Time to take a nap. I'm sleepy. That reminds me, do you remember in Dallas, like five years ago, it was like Christmas Eve and the highway got really icy? And there was a massive pile up, yeah. It was like a 400 car pile up. And it looked like the scene in Blues Brothers where you just see car after car just sailing in the air over the top of that.

Yeah, those are terrifying, those ones. The other one was, hustle hard and smell good. Those are the four posts. Okay, that's a good tweet. Great. Not too bad. What a legacy left. Rest in peace. I think that's the thing that's so frustrating.

Especially you see the UnitedHealthcare one where you're like, people can have so much fun. They can do so much cool stuff with a shooting. They can really go after a big target or something. I know, I know, exactly. Create some discourse. People do this weird, it's so ambiguous, there's no meaning to it whatsoever.

It's like, it's Nietzschean. It is, it's so nihilistic. Yeah, there's nothing. At least create a statement, have some sort of side, some sort of target. But no, they're just throwing five deaths into the void. It's a waste of content, really. Shenmue A lot of people are saying the thing leaked from the

Discord is fake, or she's talking about Foyds and Moids and the Radfims. I don't know what's true. I don't know. Everybody is saying this and that. If we were recording the day after, we'd... O'Reilly Sure, we know, probably. They'll probably all know by tomorrow, but before the episode releases Do you have that video that that truck running over like 20 cars? No, I didn't I didn't save it. Are these all your saved? What a dark Booked marked videos. It's a lot of black people eating jagan. Yeah, it a lot of this. Yeah that guy's eating a monkey. Yeah okay

all right he looks like he's eating the thing that comes out of your chest an alien. And everybody in the comments is like is that a baby? Yeah everybody in the comments is like everybody in the comments like where's the spice? Not enough spice on that on that chip. My entire feed is just black cat. Is he just eating turnips? Yeah. Can I tell you what? You think this guy's from Africa? I can guarantee you this guy lives in Des Moines

and is like filming this. Yeah, once again, where who's the guy with the iPhone? Eat the iPhone. Order Door Dash. They're around a guy with an incredible technology. So that's the thing is everybody in the comments thinks the Africa videos that are popping up that I keep, they keep pushing them to me and I watch them.

They're eating like, they turn like monkey's heads into bong, remember you know the kid in high school would like turn a Nintendo controller into like a bong? Sure. They do that over there with like animals. It's really, turns out we're very similar. It's just in terms of the resources and everything. They eat monkey's heads and this guy's eating carrots

like Bugs Bunny. It's very bizarre. Well at least it's fucking a vegetable. And a lot of people are saying these are staged actors that are, they're doing it to mine content. Yeah, I can guarantee you this guy trained at Juilliard. This guy auditioned for the Sing Sing movie I didn't get it. So now you see carrots as an African guy and then it will now just shows me black people eating food

But this one's like that looks good. That was cardo Your dinner is ready So tonight I made you a big juicy ribeye topped with grilled shrimp, rosemary, steamy cheesy, broccoli, loaded mashed potatoes, and of course, your favorite rolls. Enjoy. Man, you know that guy visits his hometown like he's being hunted by the predator. It's the most wanted man in America when he goes back to his old hood. Get into that broccoli.

With the nails clicking. This is how you like it. He lands, you just hear bloodhounds. It's like Cool Hand Luke is on the loose. It's black guys with the bloodhounds. We're gonna get him boy, get him! They just hold calm up to the dog's nose. Again, it's like, it'll be like, then it'll be this guy. Man, fuck you, mabawaba!

I think we've looked at this guy before. I remember the mabawaba guy. I'm gonna let that nigga know that I'm the man around here. Okay, alright, so he's Mexican, okay. Where's my girl at? Your girl, nigga. Nigga, that's my girl. Nigga, not no more. I've been took from you.

I love dudes that- I'm gonna get her back. I love it, I love it. If you grow up in New York, you just are allowed to be black. Yeah. Because you grew up in front of brick buildings. If you're fat. Like both agas.

But you have to be fat and ugly enough and then you can just say it. Exactly. They don't care. If you look fat and ugly enough, people think you're Dominican. They go like, he didn't even say the N word, the goiter did, just let it be.

That was the goiter. That was the goiter. The goiter dropped the N-word. They're like, nah son, that was the goiter. Let him live. Nah honey, he got evil in his stomach, that's how it comes out. I wasn't even saving this stuff to watch on the show,

I just replay some of my favorite stuff. You guys can, it's dealer's choice. Can you play the guy who looks like the question mark right there? No, the guy down. Oh yeah, they keep showing me this guy too. I don't know who the fuck he is. What the fuck is that? I don't know but I fucking hate him.

Dude that looks like, he's in front of a swast, is that the Buddhist swastika? Dude this guy was in Alien Romulus. This is crazy. Oh my god. Yeah, that's Ch, he's like, he's like, he's like. Dude, this guy was in Alien Romulus. This is crazy. Oh my god. Yeah, that's Chet Holmbrom's dad. Yeah, I do love the videos every once in a while

where they're like, this Indian man claims to be 900 years old. It's, yeah, honestly, social media's just made me realize what a shit hole the world is. Full of freaks. That's what people who are like liberals say in the comments, they go, why every video I see from India is being pushed where it's just a guy,

like you'll see a guy in India, he'll just like, he'll see him like literally shit into his own hand, like a big turd and he holds it, like holds it up to the light and then puts it in a tortilla and like is putting mustard on it. Yeah, so that's every video. No, you'll see. It's literally every episode.

Why are these the only videos I see of Indians? It's every video. And before these videos, the only time we got knowledge of that is Danny Boyle had to make a two hour movie about how they make turd burritos. Now you'll see guys doing the Turkish ice cream thing, but with their own shit, like tricking people,

moving it around. I think somebody else point this out, but around a year and a half ago, Zuckerberg, cause he runs Instagram and Facebook, just decided, just fuck it. I think he literally had a meeting where he was like, just show him inwards being weird. Yeah, he just doesn't care anymore.

He's jet skiing dressed like a Dominican guy. He's got chains now. He's like, just show him stuff that'll unravel society at the seams. It just shows me, I mean it'll show me this. I don't even know'll unravel society at the seams. It just shows me like, I mean, it'll show me this. I don't even know. I gotta like delete the app. Like I really am very, very attracted to his body.

I love his proportions. Lots of petite men. It's a gay little person. Always have to play like a boy. There's that role of kind of the like, well, you're gonna be the sub because you're the little one. And I've always liked that he's always had like a definite personality.

I've always been into different people. Like that's the only thing that's been really hard about doing Is you do find you're with a very kind of monotonous type of other people other I mean these people they just they treat the Kaiser permanent a app like it's hinge It's just scrolling past people with disabilities. Adopt a midget, adopt an amputee. Yeah, walking into the VFW home. Who wants to be gay? You hold on. I'll be gay.

Sorry, you hold off what, though? You hold onto them for a weekend, see if you like them, see if you like fucking their nub. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this guy, no, after they filmed this video, this guy was shoved in a mailbox and sent across the country. Gay scientists are gonna start developing a vaccine

to make us all look like babies forever, but where our minds still evolve and stuff, but we just always look like babies, and we're like perfect. Leave it just like that. I mean, everybody's calling this dude out in the thing for wanting to fuck kids. Right. Because he's, I mean,'s calling this dude out in the thing for like wanting to fuck kids, right? Cuz he's you know, he's I mean, did you see the guys with well, he said I

Believe he said I love his proportions, which is a little Suspect you are right. Yeah. No, that's what you should say. You know, that's insane. That's an insane thing to say about Scale like big guys like skinny guys Do you like you married a guy that looks like a little kid? This guy watches Wizard of Oz and just jacks We actually met in the best way possible because like he was my role model in like just the industry for like five he groomed him Interesting what industry do they work in? They work in gay sex the industry for like five years. He groomed him. Interesting, sir. What industry do they work in? They work in gay sex, the industry of gay sex.

Like he was, yeah, he ran a club called the Goo Goo Gaga Room downtown. So like I would like talk to him online and like flirt with him and be like, oh we gotta get together, da da da da. So I went to P-Town and he was on the street, didn't even know, did not even know, like there was no like, hey, you gonna get together, da da da da. So I went to P-Town and he was on the street, didn't even know, did not even know, like there was no like, hey, you gonna be there, whatever.

No communication prior. And I'm like, this is the guy that I literally had a crush on for some reason. Devin, they're gay. No, I mean they should, well, they're already gonna go to hell, so like get off their back. Yeah, well, I think the devil made a super hell

just for this guy, guy in a doll failure I don't know man. This is where I draw. I think dwarves like I'm against interracial marriage when it comes to like That yeah, I don't think they should be allowed to cross over I think you're like my daughter's not marrying a little person You turn into like Mississippi burning you get that little person out of my house, he gonna touch my daughter with his tiny little fingers? No sir. You can't do it man, they gotta stay with their own. Same with, you're not allowed to marry someone

with Down syndrome either, I'm sorry. Oh no, that's bullshit. Down's gotta stay with Down's. That's absolute fucking bullshit. Are there people out there that are marrying Down syndrome people that are totally fine? I think it's happening. Cause everyone's.

I've seen it. Every three months I'll see it. I'll see it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I saw it on the Steve Wilco show. I saw it on the Mike Huckabee show.

I saw it on Steve, I get all my news from Steve Wilco's. I've seen it. I've seen it. Cause've seen it. No, because every three months I see it goes viral where they find a hot Down syndrome woman and then that woman goes viral because she has like a big ass and like titties. Yeah, every six months they parade out some big downs tits, which they're usually pretty good. Well the ass is literally retarded. Yeah. Yeah, the ass is holding a crown. Yeah.

I'll tell you what, I had retarded. I love coming. That chicken neck. I love coming across the hot downs because I just start stroking my chin like this. You do turn into like an old kung fu teacher. You can just go, very interesting. Very, very interesting, wood.

And that's every comment. It's just- Every comment is can they get pregnant. Yeah, every comment, and every comment is that. So immediately, a guy's think, can I comment her? Yeah. Because then that takes her a couple notches up. Yeah, and every comment, it's either wood,

or it's like, I know that shit grips. Yes. It's all I know that shit grips. I know that shit pink and grips. Your digital footprint, man, what are you doing? Yeah, people don't care anymore. No, no one cares. Yeah, I guess that's true.

People don't even know they're leaving a digital footprint. It doesn't matter, really. Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah. I love when people at Down Syndrome, like, they marry, though. They seem, they're the great marriages, they never, you know, they seem the great marriages they never Mm-hmm, yeah, they never beat each other up

They have a kid they bake him when he's three years old, it's a beautiful life They serve him at Thanksgiving backs and everybody screams and runs out the door Just Okay, who's gonna slice a turkey? And just, Jared just laid on the track. Cutting their baby open. He's like, all right, who wants the overall button? He takes a big button with his fork. It's not fun. It's great.

Having, because everybody in the family already wears diapers, you're ready for parenthood. At age four, the kid's like, all right, I'm gonna step up. Like I'm the dad now. Oh yeah. Take care of mom and dad. It's like having immigrant parents where you're talking to the IRS at like nine.

You have to be like, no, no, no, my dad's retarded. Can we make a special exemption? Getting your five year old to like take you to like the bowling alley or something? You're at the IRS with your parents and he's like, here you go and he does a bunch of snot and pennies that he throws on the table. They go, sorry, my dad's a retarded.

Whole family wearing bowling shoes. Every year you get new shoes, you run out of the bowling alley. But they pay first. Yeah. Can I? Sorry. No, go ahead.

Can I ask you legitimately, are like, if two retarded people marry, are they allowed to raise? Down syndrome. Just say down syndrome. You call people who are being retarded retarded. We have to be. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Careful with those. Our people.

We're respectful, Shredder. Right, sure. Our people with Down syndrome. Now you're patronizing. Our dirty, stinky people with Down syndrome. No. If somebody has Down syndrome. It's so funny that we call Indians stinky jumping beans

or something and they'll be like, hey, they have Down syndrome. Hey, hey, they're white. They're white. Some of those Down syndrome people, they're Anglo-Saxon. They're white, yeah. And I will tell you, when I see a Black Down syndrome person, I just assume I don't know if they have Downs or not.

We did see one in Philadelphia though, and his shit was cut nice. He was fancy. He was walking out of a barbershop and his shit looked cut nice. He was fancy. He was walking out of a barber shop, and his shit looked so fresh. He had like the line cut in his hair. Yeah, he had a whole thing. That was the most I've ever seen.

That was a surgery. It was a surgery. They had to remove part of his brain. That was from the brain surgery. Yeah, he's like, they removed the part of my brain that's making me rape. No, no, no. They removed the part of my brain that's making me rape. That's crazy.

When you get a black guy with Down syndrome in the ring, I mean, you've got to watch him. You've just got to keep him in a cage or something. It's crazy because they're so strong. That's like Tyson in his prime. It's like Len of Tiger out there. White guys with Down syndrome, it's kind of like a lobster having rubber bands around its claws. It's fine. it's kind of like a lobster having rubber bands around its claws. It's like it's fine. It's mostly docile.

No, if you keep it in a cardboard box, like it can't. It's like a cat, if you tape a square around it, it doesn't know it can walk out of the square. I had... I had... I worked the Special Olympics one time in high school. Yeah, we had to do service hours, so I waited till the last minute,

and the only thing I could do was I had to go to the Special Olympics. It was just all the kids that waited till the last minute to get their service hours in, so it was packed. So they had way more people. Where was it at? Was it at a big stadium? It was up in like, Locker Center.

I think CV, the high school. North of LA, if I remember correctly. Yeah, and so there's way more volunteers than Down syndrome contestants, or Special Olympic performers, or whatever, right? And they already had their people that brought them there and have been training them to do the long jump, which would always just mean they just ran across the sand.

Of course they did. And then a guy would go like, Sure to do the long jump which would always just mean they just ran across the sand And then a guy would go like that was great Ronald that was wow you did it great So that but they had this one race. It was a black dude there with Downsender, but he was fucking built He just looked he looked completely normal He was just you know off and they did that they run around the track and he at one point just cuts across He just leaves the track and cuts across the field and then wins and we all had to just be like, he won! And everyone was out there, we were all cheering. But the people that lose, they cry, right?

They have no clue. I don't think, I don't think. No, it's evil, they don't know where they are. They're being forced to exercise, they have no idea what's happening. They have Alzheimer's or dementia. People are just handing them pole vaults, like swords. The guy fires the starter gun, they start screaming,

and they run away. It was insane. They run down the track because they think they're about to be killed. Do they legitimately do javelin and fucking shot put? They do shot put and discus. Yes, and it's only for the people volunteering to help them

to feel good about them being like, I volunteer with mentally challenged people. They have no idea what's happening. Dude, I mean, but what if one of them is running with the javelin and he throws it right into the ground and runs into the javelin? Like it just spears him on the ground. Well, a lot would just throw it.

They'd just throw the javelin. The long jump was the best. They would just, a lot of them. Walking, yeah. They walk, they run across the sand and everyone has to come pretend like they jumped and make a fake. I always thought it would've been great

if one of them had their wits about them a little bit to be outraged. There's bullshit. They made it, I can't die here. Yeah, like a little bit to be outraged. There's both of you. I can't die here. Like a little John McEnroe. I'd be fucking mad if I actually trained my whole life to be in the Olympics and I got to it and then I learned that there was something called the Special Olympics. Like what the fuck?

So my whole life training, I'm not the special one? I'm the normal Olympics. Makes no sense. I guess it'll make up for it by being rich and having sex with beautiful women. If you asked me, Caitlyn Jenner should have been in the Special Olympics. Hey, folks, yeah, doing the retardathon.

Because she chopped her dick off. I did watch a doc, I would never be able to find it again, but I watched a short doc on the Special Olympics and there was it was all like you said there was one guy because I think This was like the biggest event. This is like their actual Olympics Yeah, and there was one guy there who was legit. He was black guy shaved head mustache Legitimately built and like the only guy who actually like took it He took it like really seriously and had like. Had the shades that sprinters have, had the gold necklace, really nice fucking.

I kinda could've, the black kid that won, I almost thought, he was built, he was fucking rough, and like a great runner. I almost thought he pretended to be fucked up by running across, just to play into it. His test scores were just that bad. Yeah, it was a little too good. That was his version of last chance.

It's unfair. That was his last chance. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I remember being fascinated that day. But like why why we did any why the fuck did you volunteer for this, by the way? I had to get my hours in. Oh, OK. But you do have a bleeding heart a little bit, you wanna help out the community.

You've said this, but you've never done it. No. But you do say it. Yeah, I like to imagine. With your heart's in the right place. It's my Louie joke, I think all the time. Yeah, yeah. Great things I could be doing

and then I changed the channel. The Bible says that's a sin if you think of something good to do and you do not do it. I don't believe in the Bible and I don't care. And I'll never read it. Wow. Don't give a shit, bad book. Bad book.

Bad book, boring. Cringe. Next. Cringe book. You in church, next. I don't hate gay people, Ben. Sorry, I don't read the Bible. Okay, well.

Well, you do. Well, give me a call when you wake up a bigot. How about that? For not reading the Bible? No, you're gonna wake up one day, you're gonna go, I am a bigot, actually, and then you'll call me and we'll start going to church together.

And we'll bring, we go up to church for our first day at church, we bring God hates fags signs. We walk into church, everyone's like, no! We're like, yeah, we're here to fuck kids, and we're religious now! We're dressed like priests, we're like, where are the kids? And also God hates fags, right? Is that where we're in?

Can we fuck the kids now? A guy's like, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, come in the back, you can't be this vocal about it. He's like, this is totally fine, you can't be like, don't be like this, you gotta be smooth with this shit. And he's like, I'm going to talk to them everyone in the back. And then he brings you back and you all fuck a kid together You fucking kidding then you kill a gay person As the priest is coming he goes fag and then you see a blade across the neck. Oh my god.

You molest a kid and you're like, you're a fag now. Congratulations, you're gay and God hates fags. Did you pull out a gun? My dick just sent you to hell, bitch. K.O. Hell's janitor. Yeah, and then he just turns to you, he's like, this fucking kicks ass.

I fucking love my job. I love being Christian. I love being like Christ, dude. You're like, this is what Jesus did? He's like, yeah, whatever, man. Shut the fuck up. Anyway, you want to go nail this gay person Yeah, whatever man, shut the fuck up. Anyway, you wanna go nail this gay person to a cross real quick?

Yeah, no religion's gay, but helping people is good in theory. Yeah, but I didn't do it to help, I just did, everyone waited till the end and that was the last thing that they had. But I think that's how, everyone always says like your actions indicate if you're a good person, but also like if you have thoughts

that push you toward being a good person, I think that also makes you a good person. I'm not ruling things out, I'm just, I just haven't done it yet. I'm saying you're putting that out, you think I'm gonna do something good for somebody today that needs help, and now you're putting that out in the universe

and then someone who's actually like a better person than you goes and does it. They catch that thought and they go do the thing. And you just stay at home. You're the coach, really. You're the spiritual coach, really. You put the thoughts out into there. People grab them because they can't think for themselves.

Someone who's much dumber than you, who's willing to waste their day. Devin is kind of winning though, because the person who's like, they're like, you know what, I'm gonna do some good, and then they go to a soup kitchen, and a homeless guy is like really weird to them, and tries to like grab their dick,

and then they have to be like, oh, I have this like moral confliction where should homeless people be killed? I feel weird about this. Devin stays home, goes, you know what, I should do something well, I should do something good today, and then he just forgets about it,

but he gets that good, clean feeling. I talk about it, I hope somebody out there goes and does it. Yeah. He doesn't get his hands dirty. You don't actually help the old lady across the street. You just put it out there. Yeah.

A guy comes up. It's like the Tupac one. It's like, I know I will personally not get any change done, but I will plant the seed that grows the tree. Just start a revolution. Change, whatever he said. Yeah. And here's the thing, honestly, if you're trying to help an old woman across the street,

a lot of times you walk up to the old woman, she thinks she's about to get raped, and then she tries to run away and falls down. A lot of times trying to help actually makes things way worse. Well, I'm scared to, in this day and age, it's kind of scary to help people. You gotta be a good guy.

You get vilified, you die. You always see stories of someone tries to intervene, like an old lady getting mugged, they get a slug in the side of the head, double lot in their heart. Yeah, some people also just- A knife in their dick. Genuinely don't wanna be helped at all.

If you see somebody in a wheelchair struggling to get upstairs, I'm not like, like if they ask for help, I'll like, you know. Well that- I'll pretend I'm taking a phone call and walk past them. Well I'm not like, like if they ask for help, I'll like, you know, I'll pretend I can't, I pretend I'm taking a phone call and walk past them. Well I've heard stories where you try to intervene about like a guy is like, like you'll be on the subway and a guy. Something's happening, yeah.

Yeah. A guy will turn to his girlfriend and he'll be like, did you bring my Werther's originals? And she's like, no baby, I'm sorry, I forgot my, you were Werther's originals. He's like, God damn it, I love, you know I fucking, I don't leave that. You don't know, those black folks. You always had the Werther's originals. And he just starts socking born in the, he's like, god damn it, I love, you know I fucking, I don't leave that, you always had the boys as originals, and he just starts socking her in the side of the head,

like bam, bam, bam, and just punching her, and you try to intervene, and she's like, this man raped me, rape ass! You never know. You gotta let, sometimes, she tells you to stop letting him hit. Yeah, she'll call you a faggot. Yeah, she calls you a faggot.

Yeah, for trying to help. She does, yeah. Shut up, gay bitch. Yeah. Daniel Penny-ass. You think she'll call you a faggot. Yeah, she calls you a faggot. Yeah. For trying to help. She does, yeah. Shut up, gay bitch. Yeah. Gay no penny ass. You think I can't take a punch? Bitch. I see videos like that all the time.

She starts beating me up. Yeah. And all the comments are like, unbelievable how everyone just stood there doing nothing, ignoring it, and I'm like, I kind of feel like I probably. Oh yeah. I avert and I walk away from most things.

You just pretend you don't see it. I pretend it didn't happen. It's where you should do it. That's the best way to go about it. I don't trust humanity. No. I'm not strong. I probably can't help much.

Sorry, sorry lady. I stopped at 12. I remember specifically our school, when we lived in Big Spring, Texas, would go to the VFW, the place where old military veterans lived. And there's one guy in a wheelchair, and he couldn't get through the fucking revolving door

at the hospital, and I was there, and I was just like, oh, I'll help you, and a fat little 12-year-old, and you know, like a An-1 baller shirt. I tried to push him through the revolving door, and we just get like fucking stuck there. And they have to come, he's wedged in, his toes are getting fucked up,

and they have to come and basically uninstall the fucking electric part of the door and drag us through. And you're stuck in it with him? Yeah, I'm just stuck. Oh man, I bet he wishes he had the use of his leg in that moment. He could have molested the shit out of you

for five minutes. I know, they're just watching. They're drilling through the glass trying to get to me and he's just fucking the shit out of you for five minutes. I know, they're just watching. They're drilling through the glass trying to get to me and he's just fucking the shit out of me. But no, he was just like, I served in the war, now this fat boy's breathing on me in this glass case. It immediately just fogs up in there.

Yeah, yeah, no, it was brutal. There's bacteria growing, it's like a... I was so embarrassed, I was just standing just directly next to him for like three or four minutes. And everybody's like, why did you fucking try to do that? There was double doors, a couple of fucking feet down you should have gone through. So don't help, you make things worse. It's good to help, but if you actually know what the fuck you're doing, that should be the other thing.

Some people are selfish with their wanting to help out. Where they want to more just be the guy who's helping out than they actually want somebody to receive help. Most people I know when they try to help, it's worse than doing nothing. Yes. I'd rather them do nothing. Yeah. They go, just sit over there.

Anytime you help, it makes more work for me. When I hear a bunch of people get involved in something in public, I just picture just a movie level scene of somebody getting stabbed and falling. That's how it always happens. They had a great future in something in public. I just picture like just a movie level scene of somebody getting stabbed and falling. They had a great future in front of them. It's always the guy with the great future in front of them. So maybe I will, cause I have no future. Maybe I will get involved. You're inspired by the great Daniel Penny?

Yeah. To do something? I'm inspired by the great Daniel Penny to hold on a little too long. But that's cause you love too strong. Well you can't know, it's not like a video game where there's like a health bar on the boss that you're fighting.

So he thought he was still, he goes, this guy has a lot of fight in him still. There is a health bar that I think reaches its end when the guy shits his pants. That's probably the end of the health bar. K is closed, by the way, on the whole, because I figured out the guy was on Spice. He was on K2, the Michael Jackson impersonator.

He holds on longer. He's like, there's more black people coming out of his ass. He's transforming. He's trying to pull some type of weapon out of his ass. Some stinky weapon. There's a of weapon out of his ass. Some stinky weapon. There's a clock coming out of his ass. Yeah, I did look it up because we talked about it a little on the pod and people were saying,

he did hold on for six minutes, but people were saying he would like 30 seconds and then he would just let go, barely hold him and then he would start fighting. People were like, he genuinely didn't try to kill him. Yeah, I don't think he tried to kill him. It's a little funny that Trump and JD Vance are inviting him to games and stuff. Oh, that's awesome, really? He was at the Navy Army game. They were just at the Navy Army game, standing in a suite and saluting. What were just at the Navy Army game, standing in a suite and like saluting. What were they saluting, Daniel Penny?

Just the, I don't know, the Navy. Oh, cause Daniel Penny was in the Army, right? He was an Army ranger. He was a Marine, Marine. Yeah. Nice. So they had him at the Army, Navy game, and Trump saluted, and it was a nice little moment. That's awesome.

Yeah, yeah. I love to see the veterans saluted. Love to see the Army saluted. Yeah, yeah, and yeah see the army salute. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah Trump's confused He's like so you killed black people in Afghanistan. He's like no, it was a subway in America. He's like, oh, okay We need it for your sir We do need to get him back over wherever the fuck we are. Are we somewhere right now? Are we somewhere right now? I don't know. I don't know anything about Syria. All I know, I'm excited that we're finally, we reached the age of nostalgia

where they're just gonna pump out these Afghanistan war. Oh yeah. Yeah, the new Alex Garland movie. The Alex Garland one, yeah. Which I'm excited about. I liked, I know people hated Civil War, I liked it. I loved Civil War. I thought it was really good. I thought it was really fun.

Yeah. But yeah, that movie looks good, the Iraq War. I love movies where a guy, he's always like, the Iraq War. I love movies where a guy, he's always like, he lives because of like a pillar or something, or like a wall, and he's like, I love when they peek behind the wall and then like a bullet like chips the wall.

Yeah, me too. And they're like, whew. I love movies where it's like, these people are fighting back against us. It's like, why? It's like, because we keep shooting them. It's like these people are fighting back against us. It's like why? It's like because we keep shooting them. It's like these dirty savages. Fucking animals.

You see, son, there's sheep and then there's Afghani people. I have a theory on this, which I don't get, by the way. What? So when there's firefights in, you know, like Kumail Nanjiani's village, something like that. Sure, yeah, Silver like that. You know? Yeah, Silver Lake. Yeah.

Yeah. Little Doms. Yeah. No, actually, let's use this as an example, right? Mm-hmm. He's from Pakistan, I believe, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where he had his slave growing up. I was just doing the thing where we don't know where anything is. Sure, sure, sure. OK, sorry. Which is a bit. Of course. I actually am a.

You know where everyone's from. Yeah, yeah. You know the globe. I know a ton. Of course. I actually am a... You know where everyone's from. Yeah, yeah. You know the globe. I know a ton about world economics and stuff and geopolitics. Mm-hmm.

It's what I care about. It's why I started a podcast called Lemon Party. Mm-hmm. But, okay, so what I never get is when there are firefights in a house and there's the enemy shooting or whatever, and then they're staying there for hours and hours. Why don't they just run out of the house the other way

and then come around? That's what I'm like, go back the way you came in and then go around. Maybe it's because that would end the movie or something. It's kind of like in race car movies where you're like, damn, this was a really close race and then the other guy just puts his foot a little harder on the pedal and wins

Getting shifts into the higher gear and then he and then he gets yeah It's about a great race car driver because he realized his car goes a little faster if he does this Yeah, and people are people on the silences you're we go like hot damn he found fit He found fifth gear that's gotta have been a thing before I'm sure somebody said that yeah, I don't know I don't know, but that's how I would win a war as I would go around is it because it's cowardly well to run away well if you the globe is like it's it's a It's like a map in a video game where if you go this way you come back on the other side So if you start running back the other way, you come back on the other side.

So if you start running back the other way, eventually you come back on the other side of the enemy. So you could just go around. Or I always thought in war, you could do the Bugs Bunny method where you- Dress up like a sexy lady. Dress up like anybody, really. Because I never understood why you'd wanna make yourself

known that you're trying to kill these people if you're dressed up like a soldier. You should go in and then put on a beard and a big diaper on your head and a big cloak. That's what I would do. I'd put on a big diaper and a big cloak. And I'd walk out, I'd go, ah, goodbye my friends, ah, goodbye.

And they'd go, ah, it's the Ayatollah. It's our king. Oh, actually you shouldn't kill yourself. If I wanted to win any war in the Middle East, I'd bring all those Mexican guys on the Vegas strip with me that hand out the hooker cards, like the porn star little cards all day. They have like tiger tattoos.

I'd bring all of them with me. They'd all unfortunately die, but like, they'd all, I'd send them out and they'd hand those out. It would just freak everybody out. People would be killing themselves, jacking off in the street, and then you annihilate them. That's pretty good. Then you just.

You guys be like, crystal, diamond? Yeah, exactly. You get them dehydrated with meth and strippers, basically. Yeah, in fact, I think we, the government was gonna do that at one point, they were gonna drop like porn. Yeah, I think so, yeah. To fuck with the Arabs. Yeah.

Or the Muslims. That's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. What about these damn, we got spaceships in New Jersey. What the hell's that all about? They're saying it's a distraction from the CEO thing. That's why they're just running the ops right now. Yeah, it's like a Psy Ops. As a distraction from everything.

Yeah, it's just like a US hidden whatever thing. But I don't know, I just watch. They keep saying they don't know what it is Which is kind of incredible but Yeah, I mean, I'm dude. I'm just watching fat people on the internet. I don't know what's going on anymore. I've completely I Don't I don't know yeah, I get a man to myself, and I'm just like I type into Google I'm like who's the fattest person right now? And I just go down rabbit holes.

I just click link, link, link, link. I just start going all over the place. Yeah, there's like a pop-up that's like, the latest news in Syria, you're like X. X, X. Imminent nuclear war, X. Show me fat. Shits gay.

Computer, show me fat guy. If my phone started doing an alert that like a nuclear nuclear like seek cover immediately I'm gonna go I turn this fucking shit off. I thought fuck X X X Yeah, I rotate my phone back like this to be watching Family Guy clips from 2002 You'd be like the TV would be like imminent nuclear threat. You have 15 minutes to reach cover You're like, I'm trying to watch no country for old men The fucking TV won't let me watch No Country for Old Men. You'd be all pissed. You'd be behind the TV

trying to fix him, then just a blinding white light. I'm on the phone with tech support. Yeah, yeah. Sir, you're about to die. Sir, I'm in Pakistan, you're about to die. All right, all right, Rashid, just fix the TV. Did you ever consider going into the military when you were a fucking loser? Oh, have we not talked about this? You did, right?

I think, so yeah, freshman year I had for college, I was just walking around like army surplus stores and stuff, I think we talked about that. Yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah, I was, I never like army surplus stores and stuff. I think we talked about that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was um, I never talked to a recruiter, but thank God I didn't because I'm such a like a Such a pussy. I'm so spotless and I can be swayed one way or the other so easily. Yeah I think that's a firstly a Gen Z archetype. We're myths

We're missing now is that the guy who gets really into joining the military at a young age. Are young people still doing that? Well, I mean, if you can get radicalized into some sort of subgroup on the internet, then you're not looking for that family aspect of like you go to the mall and then you find, you go maybe this is the key to everything. I think that's what I mean is like there used to be guys, every high school had four guys who were gonna join the ROTC, but they were too fat to do it.

And they just got, they would go to the, you know, the store, the Army Surplus store, and buy K bars and shit. And now those guys are getting signed up for like Proud Boy type things, and just, you know, in the woods rolling around in their fat camouflage. Yeah.

And we're losing recipes in a way. Yeah, they kind of realize you don't really need to join. You can just go buy some of the shit and wait for racial unrest to happen. Wait for general civil unrest and then drive there and then that's your war. Exactly, yeah. And then you get to go home, stand trial, get acquitted,

and then you're fine. Yeah, right. Sounds fun to me. Yeah, exactly. Like, stand trial, get acquitted, and then you're fine. Yeah, right. Sounds fun to me. Yeah, exactly. Like Kyle Rennhouse, he's probably got $50,000 to his name now. You think he's only got 50 grand? It would just be funny if that's from everything

he's made 50 grand. Is he down to 50? How much do you think Kyle Rennhouse has? Not enough. He probably has a mil. He killed a couple pedophiles. I think he deserves millions. He does I Think there should that was that was I mean people tried to turn that into a big thing

But I've said before that was like one of the most liberal acts Killed a bunch of white pedophiles He was actually the wokest person in a BLM is totally killed like three white They didn't get outraged at him Literally, not a single black guy. Just a wicker. Yeah, they're like really ran house. They were all around we knew it I don't think um Like let's rewind a little bit right like how did we get here? How did we become such a great nation? It was through genocide. It was through killing

And the way to incentivize people to kill is money. So we used to you'd go out, you go hunting for Indians, you get scalps and you get a certain amount of money per scalp. Now, in our culture, there's a lot of problems in our country. A lot of undesirable people are, you know, walking everywhere. I mean, if we walked outside right now, there'd be a bunch of guys in tents, and they have fangs that somehow they've grown.

They're covered in scabs. They're worthless human beings. They should be euthanized. They're past help. Honestly, someone should kill them. No one should have any empathy for them or help them at all. They're completely past help. They attack people.

I mean, you definitely see these people, they're spiders. They're not even human beings anymore. They've done so many drugs, they have no brains anymore, or spinal fluid. It's amazing they're still alive. I have more respect for birds and bugs and clouds. Ben, I'm sorry, I'm a liberal, so I think what we should do is ignore it

and let them kill themselves slowly over time. And it's not totally their fault, but whatever. Sure. Regardless, they're in the way and they need to go. A lot of people are in the way and need to go. I think what we do is we need to have some sort of scalping program. Right.

We go back to the Native American ways of collecting scalps. We do this with pedophiles. We do this with violent defenders, right? You just go to, I mean, a lot of people are already head of the curve. Look at the pedophile hunting. It's a whole genre.

There's whole teams of like inglorious bastard style units. They're going out hunting pedophiles. But then they go, then kill them at the end. But it's a problem that the pedophile hunters come off more unlikable than the pedophile in most of those kind of areas. When you do go like, hey, that the pedophile hunters come off more unlikable than the pedophile in most of the ideas. When you do go like, hey, leave the pedophile out. Yeah, at the end you're like, you guys suck.

Get out of there, Jimmy. I watch videos and in my head I go, what'd the poor guy do? Leave him alone. And then you look at this rap sheet, he was like, he was like throwing kids into... Call the police, you don't need to put them in a three point shooting contest for your views. Or whatever, like, it starts getting a little weird. Like, you guys should be arrested too. They chase them down like Mad Max. Yeah. A little bit, yeah.

I mean, I love all those videos, but the whole, you see like, it is the farm for engagement. You got like Vitaly and, you know, Bang Bros rejects that are now doing the pedophile hunting videos. The guys who are doing it are also pedophiles. Yes. They're like, Blay.

But the pedophiles are usually disabled for some reason. And so they're collecting government checks. And it's like, why are they getting money? And they're staying at home. And they seem to have somewhat of a nice life. I'm like, this shouldn't be. Yeah, really trans comedians and pedophiles live the same life, just living off GoFundMe and welfare.

It's a tough thing because they say you shouldn't demonize people, but then I don't know, how do you survive? Yeah, there is a line where you're like, okay, you had a rough childhood, but now you're fucking kids, so. I do think you should be destroyed, like we do with cattle when they get a disease.

Yeah. And I don't even say we should kill you, I say we should destroy you. We should destroy. Yeah, how they say when there's a flock of birds that has a kill you, I say we should destroy you. We should destroy. Yeah, how they say when there's a flock of birds that has a deadly disease and we have to destroy them. Yeah, there's times when you're trying to get somewhere a little quick and there's a crazy man in the street

and everyone has to drive around him or whatever, where I'm in my car and I will be like, just fucking kill them all. I don't know if I mean that, but I do when it's- But it is the solution to it, of course. It is, you do want to just drive by them like Antogagrid and just take a pot shot, like when he shoots the bird. Cause you know, right before you did,

they look at you and they go, thank you. In one final moment of clarity, they go, thank God. That Daniel Penny thing kind of awoke, not the act, but the reaction to it. There was a guy on Twitter who tweeted after Daniel Penny was acquitted, there was that other video of a black guy just going insane on the subway, throwing fake punches at people. Then somebody tweeted, they're like, this is simply all you have to do is just not make direct eye contact and you'll be fucking fine. Everybody knows that. I was like, is that

really what we've turned ourselves into? Is that we see a black guy doing karate kicks at a baby's head and we're like, just don't. We treat him like he's a warthog. Well isn't it more racist to pretend that they don't exist? That's what I'm saying. To pretend they're a ghost?

We might need a light fascism here. Like I think if you were caught thrashing around in public, you should just be thrown in like a pit. Any, simply just thrashing. You know? Just weird, jerky, violent movements around people. Line them up and take them somewhere. This, this is, you know what,

you know what our society needs? Some seasoning. Our shit's way too bland now. Everybody, what Devin's calling for is a little bit of salt and pepper. That's all we're talking about. Just put a little spice in this bitch. Yeah, we.

Sorry, go ahead. No, no, go ahead. I'm literally just saying, do any fucking thing at all. Like literally, they champion like get Karen Bass elected because Rick Caruso's gonna put all these homeless people in a tent city. It's like, at least that would be fucking a thing. Do anything.

Give them a cake. Buy them a house, kill them. I don't care, do a thing. We live in a surveillance state, police state, no freedom, there's traffic cameras everywhere, but then these thrashers are thrashing their bodies around all over. And screaming.

And so like, and you. The hurdy-gurdy man. Well you would, yeah. They're going nuts. Hurdy-gurdy, hurdy-gurdy, yeah. I saw a homeless guy the other day, he was spinning like a Beyblade. Mm-hmm.

I was like, what the fuck? And you like to think. Yeah, they have like Looney Tunes powers. I saw a homeless guy paint a big tunnel on a wall and then run into it. You like to think there's always like an air marshal type guy that's gonna stand up and handle these. But nothing happens at all.

Nothing ever happens. No. There's constantly videos on the New York subway. Well if we weren't being surveilled, a lot of people could start forming these cells of like serial killers or like cells of action Bronson kind of guys. You go out at night and you're the night watch.

And you go out and you just start taking care of the problem. I remember everybody on the golf course we played at Fairway Oaks in Abilene, Texas. I think it's part of Abilene Country Club now. Sure, yeah. Everybody knows about that famous acquisition. Well, they'll probably Google it and say I'm like a liar or something.

But it used to be called Fairway Oaks. We played it all the time. And remember there were tons of gooses and they were violent and they would attack people Yeah, and then one day all the gooses were were gone And what a guy did is that he played golf there every day. He hated them so much he went out there at night with I guess like a suppressor on maybe a bolt-action 22 with I guess like a suppressor on him, maybe a bolt action 22 rifle, and I guess he killed like 40 or 50 geese

and somehow he got rid of their bodies and everything. You need the philanthropy justice. So you need a gun, and then nobody was, I think the country club looked into it, they called the police I guess, because someone, there's blood and feathers everywhere, but what are you gonna, what are you gonna do I mean, you gotta, what are you gonna, the guy got away with it and he killed the bomb,

that was that. The police showed up and they're like, did he fuck the geese? And they're like, I don't think so. And they're like, well, what are you, Did you find cum? Did you find cum? If you didn't find cum, there's nothing we can do.

We only, the cum is the key to solving crime. A lot of people don't know that. Choplifters? Cum. What I'm saying is if a problem gets bad enough, eventually someone is going to take care of it. You can't have, these people, it's like they act like a fish that just got on a boat. Like a big marlin.

We love movies and characters that are about what we should have. We should have a Batman. But he would get choked out by Daniel Penny We love movies and characters that are about what we should have. Like we should have a Batman. Wow. Yeah. But he would just get he would get choked out by Daniel Penny because he think he's a black guy. No, I'm white. And we should have a baby Yoda. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. But you know what the gay community would do with him? Fuck him. Yeah. Marry him. They'd wed him. Yeah. They'd marry baby Yoda. Yeah, there'd be a gay guy who's like, I love all body types, you know, tall, short, yellow, green, you know. And then technically he's really old actually,

even though he's a baby. He's technically 900 years old, even though he looks like a baby. Um, and he can fuck me with his mind, honey. He spread my ass with his mind. So suck on them apples, sweetheart. No, I'd said it before that, like at a certain point, we have to start just dropping bombs on residential streets,

and it's our fault. It's our fault that we let it get to that. I mean, Skid Row, the reason Skid Row exists was because transits just kept coming into LA off of fucking the train, and then LA was like, what should we do about these people? Let's just build bright lights around a big square area so that none of them, and then we'll take all the trash cans out except for this square area. The lights keep them out of that area, by the way, because they have to sleep.

It's really bright, by the way. No, that's literally the city, like fucking Mulholland. Like the guys who designed Los Angeles were like, put up these bright fucking lights, take all the trash cans except for this square area, and they'll all just congregate there because they don't have the fucking energy to make it 19 blocks out of that.

And that's the reason we have fucking Skid Row now, is because that was the area they decided, fuck this area, all the homeless people are gonna go there and do fentanyl and kill themselves. Now can we put that underground? Like can we make them go like one level under, just one, can they build like a thing under the? If you can dream it, you can do it I think.

You know those, like an ant farm? Like could you make something like that where they go down a hole and they could just, like kind of. They should set up like mirages in the distance for them. Like where it's like they see like a big chicken. Like a big roast. A big juicy roast chicken next to like a,

next to a palm tree, a body of water. A big wavy liquor store. Yeah, a big wavy liquor store. They go, oh, they want it and then they fall into the. Oh, you put that out in the Pacific though. So they just start swimming. They just start falling off the cliff. But then we have a shark problem.

You know what, you know what, some, you know, we'll deal with that when we have to deal with it. It's probably why they haven't done anything about fentanyl, because they're like, it is, even though it's killing like some good kids, it's killing a lot of homeless. Oh, I'm sure we put the fentanyl out there. Oh yeah. They say it's from China. No dude, it's like, it's human weed killer.

That's what fentanyl is. It's Roundup. Yeah, no, they're spraying it out of airplanes, driving across Skid Row. Unfortunately, though, then the Mac Millers of the world, rest in peace. Sure. You lose a lot of greats.

The cartels, they put fentanyl in their drugs because they're disgusted by the homeless. They're like, this people is fucking scary. We have to do something about the homeless problem. Oh, they're fucking scary, man. They're like, these people are fucking scary. They're like, we have to do something about the homeless problem. The fog is scary, man. It is running the streets, man. Yeah, a guy almost stole my golden AK-47 with all the skulls and ribbons carved into it and shit.

I think I believed growing up, if I saw a guy, it's like, oh, he just needs a friend or something. If I saw a guy. Yeah, he needs a friend. It's a big padded room that he's tied up in. What, that would always be like the lesson in like the TV, and like a guy, he wants to like do something bad. And then he's just like,

oh buddy, do you need a friend? Mm-hmm. You need a friend? And that's what, and that is unfortunately the- Like that's all you need? Yeah, that's unfortunately the liberal thing of like, hey guys, they just need a little lovin'. Yeah.

And then we build the project for the homeless people and then one guy burns it down to the fuckin' ground and that's what happens. You know, even Daniel Penny, when he fuckin' shattered that old lady's fuckin' skull a year before. Jordan Neely. Jordan Neely, they offered him fuckin' free housing paid for by New York City taxpayers.

They never used it though. I know someone can. He turned it down, yeah. So I don't know how you solve it, but I know you end it, you know? Yeah, I know how you end it. Yeah, you just gotta do, they gotta do fucking anything, you know?

But yeah. I mean, it's, yeah. Well, I will say this. Antarctica is, it's wide open. Sure. Ain't nobody down there. It'd. Maybe find the penguins get really pissed off I can't even bring my kids to the fucking playground anymore This is a guy shooting up with an icicle. I Want to see the northern lights before I die I'm I always get so jealous of single

No, I do too. I thought that this year's I wanna see that once in my life. I get so jealous of that when I see the videos and stuff. Where do you gotta go for that? You gotta go to like Nova Scotia and shit. Or like Sweden and Norway and stuff. Like camp or? What's camp? You have to like camp to see them?

Like go to a specific wilderness party. I think you gotta get away from the city I think. No, no, no, you can see them over cities and stuff. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes viral on Twitter all the time in certain places. Cause it's the sun, it's like a solar flare thing No, no, you can see them over cities and stuff. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes viral on Twitter all the time in certain places. It's the sun, it's like a solar flare thing, and it shoots past the earth.

I see diagrams of the earth and the sun's doing this, and then stuff goes by it. And they go, that's the northern lights actually. And I'm like, fuck yeah. That's science that I understand now. They go, you know the indigenous people They thought that was a great snake that created the universe you like what those guys were so retarded Because we're fucking idiots. It's a Christopher Nolan scene I Want to see that and then I want to see a total 100% eclipse before I die

I think you got to wait like a while Yeah, you got to wait a while. We have like a bunch in a row They got kind of boring. Not the total ones though. Oh total. Yeah, I saw the total one Ben got to see the total one I was gonna go back to Texas, but the tickets were fucking a thousand bucks apiece where it was like fully nighttime Where you were then? Yeah, yeah, like fully nighttime You could see the big like solar flares coming off of it, right? Mm-hmm Yeah, like the arms of God just stretching across the sky.

Yeah, it's looked like something out of Revelation. It's cool, I guess. The Bible, then. Sure. I mean, you could just go to New York right now and look at the fucking UFOs that are in the sky. Yeah, you talk about behold a pale horse. You see the unidentified flying objects over the...

We're living in end times. It's end times, bub. Strange times. I think end times would actually be really good, probably. Because everybody thinks end times, it's everything gets so bad and then the world ends. But I think it would be like, I don't know, if, cuz the

The creator of the universe or whatever seems like he might like be like wicked Almost like he doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, you know, it's as if there's that whole wasn't that that whole verse like the Lord will reign like wrath and Like rain hellfire on the wicked and stuff. I think there's a thousand verses of that. Yeah. So apparently like that was coach Carter. You got to get that two point three GPA. It seems all the religious texts actually point toward that like God will punish people and will like will just with reckless abandon will like like he's not like this.

You know, like you love him, like he'll let you be a guest in his eternal home, like in all these religious texts, right? But he will, it seems to me that the end of the world will probably be something where like, we actually figure this shit out down here, and then like it becomes like a really great place to live all over the globe, and then he's like,

all right, scene. He's like, and cut. Gotcha. And he rips the rug out under, like we make everything perfect here, and then he sends a fucking huge meteor to earth. Everything, it catches on fire, everybody dies, and then we start over again.

That's what I think's gonna happen. Yeah. Like at Ice Age, or like a Young Adryas Comet, or something like that. Cause it's just so hack to say like in times apocalypse and all that shit. Well I do also like the narcissism of people who are like it's strange times, it's in times,

and then you're like really why? And they're like politics or you're like crazy. And you go what? They go yeah it's, actually politics were really normal all over the world for all history until right now It wasn't just the Ming Dynasty fucking taken over the right Queen Dynasty You could have said it at that anytime anytime in the fucking universe now They say it cuz it's like you're like man. I don't even really need my jacket today Yeah, like like ten times strange times

You know the only thing that makes me feel like we're living in in times and I'm not saying this is a bad thing But like I went to the I keep I've been going to like the took I'm not gonna tell you where I go actually okay, but I've been seeing like a lot of like trans people like everywhere Okay, I don't know if that's just anecdotal But then there was like a trans shooter or whatever might be trans the microplastics I don't know something's going on are people upset at Trump because he said there's like the trans people don't really they're not even that many Yeah, he's just said that in an interview where they go they go. What do you think about the transition? Because there's not really that many of them. I don't really care

No, he legitimately he it's the funny thing he does not give a shit about abortion or gay people like whatsoever He just doesn't care. Oh, wow. He fucking, dude, he fucking grew up in New York City his entire life. You think he gives a shit? Well, what about the other guys? Like his team, do they? I'm sure Mike Huck could be, but his ass is in Israel sitting on big buttons that fire rockets accidentally.

That's the only thing I'm excited about is Ol' Huck. Mike is gonna fix this country because he has the muscle to back up. His two big retard sons on either side of him, like pit bulls. Like offensive tackles. He's just on the beach in Tel Aviv just playing his bass. And his two big sons are just running rampage

like big rhinos. I wanna see them go sick of Ode in Gaza. He's gonna feed Palestinians creamed corn with alka-seltzer and then they're all gonna explode like pigeons. Yeah, well he's just going to ba-doom-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. His sons are like nine feet tall.

There's something out of the Old Testament. It's insane. His sons looks like the two bad guys in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The rhino wearing the glasses and the other guys. Crang? The brain and the stomach with the... No, the two punk guys who are like the minor bad guys.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they are. Those are his sons. He walks on his knuckles and shit. Yeah, his sons literally go like, it's clobberin' time. And then they like punch their hand into their hand. And then run like gorillas.

And then they go, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. And then they just hit a Palestinian kid and he goes flying into the ocean. Well, if I wanted anybody on the, you know, like on the defensive end of America, I'd want a guy who almost went to jail because he like lynched a dog. Like cut open a dog's belly.

They like cut off dog's heads and shit. A guy who was so fat he forgot to not tie his dog to his car. Because he was so fat the insulin was just spiking. Did that happen too? They tied a dog to a car? I think so. Or was that, I think that was Huckabee. Like Huckabee like tied a dog to a car? I think so. Or was that, I think that was Huckabee.

Like Huckabee like tied a dog to a car on a vacation. Killing dogs constantly. And then like accidentally dragged it. I might be thinking of National Lampoon's vacation, but I don't know. There's nothing with like Mitt Romney and a dog. I know Kristi Noem like killed her puppy or something. Yeah, there's like a couple like that.

These are just sick people. They killed dogs. Like her puppy, she had a dog and he like attacked somebody and she like shot it in her back Yeah She talked about shooting it. She yeah, she told the story like she was John Wayne. Yeah Or she's everyone was like what she's like I had to shoot them Comanche because they're getting close to the chickens You're like, you know, there's a place you place you can kill your dog like nicely for like $35. He's like, no, I wanted his brains on my lawn. Apparently there's a lot of disease linked to eating brains.

Like weird, like dementia, Alzheimer's, very weird diseases from. I've ate brains before from pigs and I wonder if that's when I took a turn for the worst and probably Probably I've ate brains from a taco truck before yeah, have you ate pig brains? No, that's the the tongue. I thought Yeah, Kabeza's brain I think I thought Kabeza was not do any of that cuz I you have silverware and You never been curious about brains? No, I don't. I truly, I don't mess with any like savage,

like, shit that they haven't cleaned up from their culture yet, I don't know. Never needed the tongue, I don't care about. Lengua. I don't eat food, and I go, I hope this animal died, I hope we used all of its body, I could care less. I'll eat what I want, kick it into the fuckin' ocean. Yeah, you go, I hope they threw away 80% of the buffalo.

Yeah, I don't do that. I don't go to places and they go away, they have crickets. I think the French are disgusting for eating snails. I don't care, I don't do any of this shit. I do respect the orcas, the orca whales, because they will punch a great white shark on either side until it rolls upside down for a minute and then it dies.

And then an orca whale will insert an incision with its teeth and cut right where its liver is, eat the liver of the great white shark, and then swim off. That's all they want. Don't they also like rape dolphins and shit? I didn't know that. That's awesome. They do like a lot of fucked up stuff.

They're kind of like little sociopaths. They only can fuck by raping. Yeah, yeah, they like rape and shit. I think dolphins rape too. Oh, dolphins. Or Japanese people rape dolphins. I don't know. There's a big food web of things

raping things in nature and I don't know what's. The Cove is just, it's a me too doc about Japanese people raping dolphins in a casting. Yeah, they're sneaking in the dark and they just see a Japanese guy going, huh, huh, huh. Yeah. Patreon.com. Patreon.com slash Lemon Party.

I want to say really quickly, order the merch. The merch team told me that if you order the day this episode drops, you can most likely still get it for Christmas, because they're gonna send out all the orders for that Tuesday, they're gonna send that out end of day, so order it like when you fucking watch this episode, day of release. If it's after that, we can't really guarantee it'll be around Christmas time.

So we still got hoodies, there's like a select few for all the sizes, Those are gonna go very quickly We ordered some more and then we have the the two hats as well. So lemon party dot life click on the big mud it button that says merch and When you do that, it will take you to the merch shop Yeah, which is also lemon party dot my Shopify dot-com. I'll show them like if you go here All right, let me party dot live. Yeah, here two options and then you hit the merch button now you're at You can do it either way. Yeah, either way you want. Yeah, so there's the hoodie

I can't wait to get mine. We still have all sizes. Those are going very very very quickly We might actually be out of the large. I'm gonna check after we're done recording So go check it get it now people are posting their hats in the lemon party discord Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah orders have already gone out for people who have Got it first so yeah That's all You know what's funny about the lemon party hoodie is you can look like Slimer from Ghostbusters the green one That's the you're a big fat guy. That's the reason we we did him to the big so people call you Slimer

Yes, people call you slime like how how black people say it. I fucking love slime I kind of love people call people slime now. I think that's very fun. Is that a thing? Yeah, they go like what up slime really? Yeah? Yeah. It's a thing. What the fuck? I've been on the basketball courts for like five days. I haven't heard one person post some slime. They reserve you on the path. You're checking people's gums. Ibn's got a big cane.

Well, now who can do a tomahawk? You're going to mint Julep on the sideline. Yeah, I've been at the 24 hour fitness and it's like fuck it, we ball. I walk in, I go fuck it, we ball. Fuck it, we ball, bust shots. You go, well you should walk in, you should go what up slime and see how that goes. Any time I'm at the gym now,

and I just started to go to the gym this week, and probably be the only week I go to the gym. Sure. But I'll say it, I'll make a joke with my friend and a black guy will overhear it and I'll just go, fuck. He'll just shake his head like that. And I see him grab his phone, he turns his headphones up a little bit louder.

He's listening to Lemon Party. Yeah, joke's on you, bitch. Joke's on you, You gave me $5. Black guys, they don't have a sense of humor. That's not true at all. Yeah, no, not around you. Yeah. No, I've noticed this at the gym.

Famously not jokey black people. Yeah, I've noticed this at the gym though. They don't have a sense of humor. It's very strange. Yeah, they're very bad at basketball. They have tiny penises. We all know these things. No, they used to have a good sense of humor,

but now they're like, when they're around white people, I think it's like. There's more of a like, stay over there. Stick to your own mentality now. The internet's kind of just become like a segregated. It's just kind of made everyone go back to like. But they're racist against me. I guess. Because they're like,

you stay over there white boy. Are you sure you're not just like, the guy's trying to prepare to play his game, and he's like listening to Meek Mill, and you're just like, you stay over there, white boy. Are you sure you're not just like, the guy's like trying to prepare to like play his game and he's like, he's like listening to Meek Mill and you're just like, but what if like an ass was on your forehead and, and a guy's just like, I hate white people. No, like, like I don't code switch around him.

My friend was like code switching. Like, sup, bro? I'm like, what was that? But he said it's a survival mechanism. Sure. Talking to, as soon as he saw a black guy, he's like, yo, brother, he goes, a lot of crazies come around here, like, in the gym.

And I was like, what? Yeah, I wonder why these black guys are so weird around you guys. But then, no, but then I was acting normal and I was cracking jokes, and then the black guy kept overhearing the jokes we were cracking. He was just like, ugh. Man, and I was, I made sure to, I stick to homophobic jokes.

So I was being very homophobic in the sauna where he was sitting next to me. It was probably a gay black guy. He might, yeah, he might be gay or. It's RuPaul? Yeah, it was RuPaul. She just shooting threes at the gym. It's just everything I say around black guys at the gym,

they just shake their head, and it's like, they're very serious. Yeah. It's just everything I say around black guys at the gym, they just shake their head. And it's like, they're very serious. Yeah. It's like, come on, relax. Yeah, some are pretty serious. Relax. And then I noticed that this, too, the light skin ones are very insecure about their blackness.

Oh, totally. They even more so are the ones that are like. Well, it's open season on them, too, after Drake got annihilated. Open season on the light skin guys? Oh, yeah. They were already very insecure, Well, it's open season on them too after Drake got annihilated. Open season on the light skinned guys? Oh yeah. They were already very insecure, but now there's a lot of, what is it, colorism in the black community? Well, Audrey doesn't even call himself black anymore.

What does colorism mean? Like dark skinned black people making fun of light skinned black people. So they're at odds with each other. For lack of a better, and from my understanding, you're're a bitch ass and word if you're a light skin brother That is correct. You are more prone to bitch assness light-skin Well, they're all into their corny If you will sure corny, I've seen it there. They're corny as fuck. I saw this guy after the game

He was like he was in the hot tub on speakerphone I saw him like make a bunch of threes and stuff and he was like calling his friend and he was like Yeah, he's like I fucking he's like I had like 13 points. He was like breaking it all down. It's like a pickup game Yeah, he's on speakerphone very loud like yeah They think they're like in the NBA or something It's a pickup game at the 24- fitness. People take pickup games really seriously. It's why I couldn't do it. I did it a few times.

You ball? You do have to stop at a certain point. Back in the day, I used to go with my friends and then I'd realize they were talking about it all week and moments that happened and I'm like, I could care. It's literally like breaking down a walk we went on. Who cares? You're never gonna make it.

They make it, they go 20 years ago, I hear them go, they go, 20 years ago, I was pretty good. Yeah. I'm like, dude, no one cares if you were good in high school. I had to stop playing pickup ball because people would hack-a-shack me when I went. People would slap me across the face and hit me and shit.

I'm like, this is a meaningless thing we're doing. I stopped because also I remember one time I elbowed a guy in the face on accident trying to get a rebound and and he like was fucked up. It like started immediately turning like blue, and then I was like, well that could happen to me, and I left and I remember like, I just like, I like changed that guy's face for the next couple weeks

in a meaningless game. Like I deformed a stranger. No, I saw it when we were in college, there was a professor who used to play pickup with us. He was like 45, a really good shape. But yeah, he went up for a rebound. One guy turned, shattered his fucking nose. Bleeding all over himself.

I had to drive him to the hospital because I was like the only one there with a car. Everybody else walked. And his wife came in and she was just like yelling at him. She's like, we have a new baby on the way. You've got to have shattered fucking nose because you had to play pickup ball. It also, we have a new baby on the way. You gotta have shattered fucking nose. You gotta play pickup ball. It also could turn into a huge pain in the ass.

I don't wanna be the guy that has to, now I have ACL surgery scheduled because I wanted to have a little moment. Like, you know. Yeah, you're 43, you're doing an hour and a half of warm-up so you don't rip a quad. I get really grossed out by strange losers that get competitive though.

They start calling fouls and I'm like, this is so pointless. Yeah, they're all freaks. I like watching from the sideline. Yeah. I watch, but I like to be a little bit higher up so I'm on a horse. I show up on a horse and I stand on the side of the court. I just watch.

You're like the Jeff Van Gandy of Pickup Ball. You just complain, you're like, now why do they shoot these mini threes? I'm going up and down the sidelines on horse, like I'm cool hand Luke or something. Yeah, you have to put, the horse has to be in basketball shoes. So I won't fuck the court up.

I'm on the sidelines with all the girlfriends. I couldn't, I mean, I've just, I just finally did bench for the first, I did the bar. I couldn't I mean I've just I just finally did bench for the first I did the bar. Mm-hmm. I did like four ideas a good start. I did 40 I'm scared so I waited until like 9 45 p.m. At night when like it was kind of open I went over there and I Was like I was like Yeah, and I just like got up I was like I looked around I'm like, okay, no one saw me do that It's hard to get nobody's very vulnerable. Yeah very vulnerable. Nobody cares though, they really don't.

Unless you're doing something incredibly retarded, they don't care. I know, but it feels like I'm naked in front of them when I'm doing it. Yeah, I know. But there's, dude, you'll see people, if you keep going, like when I was going to the gym regularly this year for like that four or five month period,

there was an old guy who would come and every day he would do bicep curls with like a fucking preacher curl bar, and he would just do bicep curls and he'd go, ah! And he would scream as loud as he could and people just, people. But people have headphones in anyway, you can't hear anything.

It was so loud you could hear it. A lot of guys do that. Oh, yes, through the headphones. And he was the only guy I've ever seen anybody ever laugh at. Like people would like kind of look at him and be like, oh my, like, what's up with that guy? There's a lot of interesting types of the gym.

Sometimes you'll see the really intense, just a freak, he just kinda seems like he's getting strong to go kick his dad's ass. Like people are working through a lot of weird things. You'll see an Asian guy, a 21 year old Asian guy, who just can levitate, grab pull up bars and do like the weird like Yeah, I'm not bitch. Yeah, and they have all the gear. Yeah, everybody's so jacked at the gym But I think I'm gonna get I'm gonna get there

Because what I walked past the shelf there's a something called ghost. It's a whey protein and it says now with Oreos So that I can get behind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you guys know what the ghost stuff is? Ghost whey protein? No, there's a billion brands of protein powders. Oh, well they all apparently taste like Oreos and Reese's and stuff. So I'm going to take that and then gain weight at the gym. I'm rapidly gaining tons of weight at the gym eating from this big... You're like, I'm bulking.

I sit in front of my locker and I eat powder. I eat protein powder that tastes like sleeves of Oreos as I watch all the black guys' dicks come by me after shower. You don't, you eat it dry. You eat it dry with a big scoop and your mouth just gets chalky. Yeah. Yeah. I have powdered lips and stuff and your mouth just gets chalky. Yeah. Yeah. I have powdered lips and stuff.

And I'm just like, sup. I fully naked, six foot seven black guy walking out of show. I'm like, I'm looking at his dick. I'm like, what's up? And they go, they go, that white boy ain't right. That white boy ain't not right. And I come back to you guys, I'm like, they have no sense of humor about anything.

No sense of humor, these guys. Yeah. So cringe, all of them. They don't, they don't make any jokes with each, I don't see them laughing and making jokes though. Where's the fucking, they don't like, They just don't wanna mingle with you. But I even see them with, you know, they seem, they have animosity toward the other guys there.

The black guys too? Yeah, they're very much like, don't fuck with me. They might just be like lame, you know, like fucking fake type A personality guys that think they run like 10 businesses. I could tell they think they're better than everybody because they go to the gym or some shit. And it's like, dude, you're black.

You should naturally be jacked by doing nothing. You should be able to eat cereal and be jacked for no reason. Sorry dude. But that's facts. I knew it. The gyms were whites only. You started kicking people out.

You're drinking from the water fountain? I'm like, hey! We all know you don't drink water. Go get your grape soda, get the fuck out of here. You're naturally jacked, you're not no fun, you're not funny. Get the fuck out of here naturally jacked you're not no fun. You're not funny Lord funny No one's yes ending my black joke I Know enough not to code switch, so I'm very I not to code switch. You already had about 35% people.

In my experience, black people appreciate more when you're just yourself and not pending to fucking, you know. Just owning who you are. I see white people code switch at the gym. It's interesting. It's delicious, isn't it? The way they talk to me and then like, what's up brother, comes around, it's like, eww.

Yeah. Yikes. Yeah, I mean, you literally might as well, when you do that to me, comes around, it's like, eugh, yikes. Yeah, I mean you literally might as well, when you do that to me, you might as well be like, give me some skin, yeah? What's going on, slick? Why see black people also code switch when they're around black people?

Everybody code switches. Everybody code switches. A black guy talking to me, like it's different, and then he talks to a black guy, he's like, yeah, so, and then they like do a thing. Yeah. I'm like, you didn't do that with me. Well, you go home and you start going like,

well, you know, we were all at, you know, we were at church the other day, you know, like people just, people wanna belong, so they just code switch to belong. I don't code switch. All those guys that do code switch. Very good. All those guys that you see do code switch

at the gym and shit, they're fucking having panic attacks about the handshake they gave. They're in the parking lot looking at different moments of handshakes they had throughout the year on an iPad. Like it's game tape. I should have fucked up, I should have done the, oh, he wanted to do a fist and I came in with the hand. Yeah, it is brutal when you go to Dap a black guy up

and he gives you just the standard handshake. I fuck them all up on purpose. I go, what are we doing? I don't know, I just act completely, I get out, I don't know. You know what's great? By the way, there's like 400 pound black people on the court and they're amazing at basketball.

It's like they all have this gift that's incredible. I saw like a guy that looked like Patrice, but he's like 23 years old. I'm like, Jesus, you're at the end. But he just like posted, he just like right over the, like a three pointer. Oh dude, Mark. I was like, mark Henry mark Henry. I'm amazing mark Henry the wrestler could dunk a basketball. Who's mark Henry the wrestler? He's a black guy. He was a he was a heavyweight like lifter like a strongman

He was a 450 pounds and he could dunk a basketball. He's like 6-3. It's insane I'll show you when we go upstairs. I'll show you the YouTube video, but it's crazy. The more careful that they take care of their beard, the more intense they are on the basketball court. It's very upsetting to watch. And actually, I'm sitting there, I'm watching like this, and I'm embarrassed for them. I'm on the sidelines, I'm embarrassed.

They're embarrassing themselves. All these people that are playing pickup basketball and they think they're in the NBA really need to calm down. With the leg warmers on and the sleeves and shit. It's really disgusting. They have the headbands and everything. And some of them, one of them had a jersey. That's really tragic because you should go up to them

and be like, what do you like, like an Asian guy? You're no different than an Asian guy right now. Actually a brutal insult for a black guy. Wow, really? That would wreck him? Asian guys at the YMCA were always the ones that had all the gear and they would shoot from half court. Be like Steph Curry!

I see Asian guys walking around and they're wearing, they work at Astro space places. They come in their shirts and they work at, it says Astro, they work on jet engines and stuff in Los Angeles and they come and they just get on a thing and do this. Because they're just, they're so brilliant. They're like Isaac Newton in their head.

They're brilliant people, it's amazing. But then they come in their work shirt and gym shorts and sandals and stuff. They just go retarded for 30 minutes. Asian dad and jeans is my favorite guy at the gym. Those guys kick ass I love those guys. Yeah on the treadmill jeans. Those guys fucking rule. Yeah. Yeah also 500-pound guy who's boxing. Mm-hmm respect. Yeah, respect the fuck out of that guy smells like shit though Oh, yeah smells terrible. Mm-hmm It's just it is what it is at the gym. He's actually you're gonna smell bad practicing reaching for food. He's not boxing

He's practicing opening open a fridge Reach for the ice cream. Patreon.com slash lemon party for bonus episodes every Friday. We love you all. Thank you for supporting the show. God bless you all. This is going to be out tomorrow. Merry Christmas to everybody. Merry Christmas. There still will be episodes all throughout Christmas and everything we're not gonna miss What but we're also not the fun. We're also we're not the show that pre-records thousands of ups. Mm-hmm

So you guys are still gonna get your sweet precious content on time as usual Merry Christmas everybody. Merry Christmas Merry Christmas patreon All right, are we done with the show? No. He technically didn't end it. It's still going, actually. I have the ad, so can we end it? Now it's done.

Okay. Bye. I'm sorry. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina, Wicked and evil while casting a spell. I love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while young Calmore came in, wild as the West Texas wind.