lemonparty - 118: In The Bedroom

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

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Chicken Wings by The B.A.P. I'm on that light beam Always in my face Talking, listening Girl, I had the best of me In this house we believe Black lives matter Women's rights are human rights No human is illegal No And the science is real Killing gay oh Shannon though because you put you move your cup down to the lower level and love I'm gonna dab him like he's in a fish tank right now and

Kindness kindness kindness. Yes. Are you drinking water? Yeah, cuz I like the McDonald's flavor. He likes the micro plastic taste. They have the best in the game there I got it plastics. I do like buying a Gatorade and I go I'm gonna use you for about three weeks So that is too gross in my mind. I my mind I go, well, I might as well just keep using the same plastic. Maybe I'm getting, maybe I'm, you know. I'll pour milk in there, take it to the gym with me. I'll suck through the straw until I'm just, it's all drinking plastic.

What do you mean? I'm looking at James. I'm looking at Devon like we're through the fog of war over here. Where am I supposed to put my damn soda? I don't know, you gotta, you have a lot of fog of war over here. Where am I supposed to put my damn soda? I don't know. You got a... I call water soda. You have a lot of work to do in here.

It's all your fault. I know. We look like we're doing the gayest public access show of all time right now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, in this house we believe Black lives matter That's pretty good. Are you singing that to the tune of Old Man River?

No. You got me. Yeah. Wade in the water. I can't sing really low unless I'm doing something. Negro spiritual shirt. Wade in the water. Happy birthday.

Happy black birthday to you. Yeah, very good. Love to be lib. We love to be lib. We lib to be love. So we had to put this up because Devin threatened to evict us unless we started being more liberal on the show. So the show must go on, but unfortunately.

I finally won. And it's because we took the TVs out and we're hiding a bunch of black kids behind there. Yeah. Yep, yeah. We got those shark cages put in here that they lower into the... Hide in plain sight. The studio looks like the house

from the beginning of Sicario with all the bodies in the wall. Mm-hmm. We have Emily Blunt in here, just shocked at the racism. I kind of like the sign, honestly. I want to get one of those big... Yeah, of course. I bet you do.

I'm going to get one of those big I'm gonna get one of those big Bet you do fire people are clawing the screen like when a cat sees something on the TV I think I think yeah, I think it's like when you put bird TV on To keep your cats in it today Yeah, we have like a bird feeder live stream the cats go There's some guy in a griper onesie who's just shit himself and throwing it at the screen right now This is what they like they drape like Jeff Tadric's casket After you get cut to death they hand this to your mom in a little triangle here's his butt plug

Your son was fucked by destiny on July the fourth Your son was fucked by Destiny on July the 4th, 2025. That guy got in trouble for revenge porn or something. Yeah, he was posting dicks and shit in Discord or whatever. He would get pictures of a girl and then use it against her as you do. What's wrong with that? Wait, so he'd extort women with pictures of their pussy and stuff?

I think something like that, yeah. It was posting nudes of women without their consent. Didn't he post, he posted a picture I think of him sucking some guy's dick and I thought that's what he got in trouble. He sucks, the guy's cock? Yeah, no, he's bi. Oh, he's like bi, yeah.

Wow. Which means gay, yeah. Ben love is love. And kindness is everything. These guys look at, they look at that like, it's like a different browser they're using. It's like sometimes I open up Mozilla Firefox Go to town on Mozilla

I'm a safari man, but sometimes I sometimes I pull up duck duck go And just see what they aren't telling you this streamers motherfucker sounds like a new sprite flavor sprite shit You try the new sprite destiny That would be a new flavors. Yeah, because it sounds like a black stripper. Sprite champagne. Yeah, Sprite welfare. Sprite Chrysler. You try that new Desiree at McDonald's?

The Desiree meal? I got a diamond and silk combo at McDonald's. At McDonald's. Now I was saying, I wanna get one of those big Trump trucks with the big pirate flag on the back, but with this, this sign just like rippling. Truck nuts. Truck nuts and a big skull that says, fuck you on the front of it. Just to really like confuse me.

Be a punisher guy. I love those. I love those highway pirates you see every once in a while. Big pirate ship barreling down the tube That's coming man. Are those those truck like the double decker trucks? Yeah, the huge trucks where they have the giant Trump flag right out of the back and it looks like a big sailboat I think it kicks out those are cool, but I'm gonna do a gay version of that Yeah With this I could see Hassan piker doing that because if the cult the culture it always does, right? So right-wing people will become the new oppressed,

like the LGBTQ were saying forever. So right-wing will say, actually, we're the oppressed. The left will actually then become the masculine, we don't give a shit. So guys like, you know how Hassan Piker, you know that guy? I've heard of him, yeah. He was interviewing the-

Hassabi? Yes, you know that guy Yes, yeah, you know the crystal e of politics yes, yeah, well he's like he's like six four and he's jacked He looks like a a Mortal Kombat character. Yes. He has a tiny head to like in the Super Mario movie Yeah, tiny brain tiny brain tiny head, but he's jacked and he probably gets insane amounts of sure Pussys why guys like that's gonna be the new left is got like jacked Vaguely ethnic guys driving big trucks with these flags behind. Yeah. Yeah, they're right here and they go hey Yeah, they go. Hey, sweetheart love is love You want me to finger you in the back real quick? He was interviewing the prisoners that were having to put out the fire and everyone gave him much of credit for that

But I was like well that you kind of keeping them from work. I mean my home's burning down You stop interviewing these prisoners they need to put the right and he's also It is a fine thing like well. What are you in for he's like I raped 85 people I raped 85 people. So somebody's watching the stream, they're like, that's the guy. That's the guy who molested me when I was a kid. If I was in prison, I would love to be released to go fucking spray a fire with water.

It's kinda fun. Oh yeah. You gotta look at it, it goes down when I spray it. I'm out. This is much better than getting raped in prison. I'm outside. Yeah. That's cool.

I would spray myself with the hose. I'd be like, I don't have to hit the showers tonight. I'm all washed up. Yeah, they pay him like a dollar a day, too. I mean, this is the whole thing about the money. They should get paid nothing. You're in prison. You should get paid nothing.

I don't really know, maybe I'm a psychopath. No, you should be a... They talk about that as like dudes for a dollar a day. Like, didn't the guy like... If you're going to prison, we're not just letting you do nothing all day. An idle mind goes to waste. We're putting you guys to work.

We should actually change the word prison to labor camp, I think. You put them to work? We need camps! Yeah. Ben, we hate communists and we love labor camps. We need labor camps! Come on, you're telling me you don't want the next

Dusty Avsky to come out of an American labor camp riding on the back of a McDouble wrapper. You know what I mean? If you crush a soul, if you crush a soul into a fine paste, it produced some of the world's best minds. Yeah, a guy's gonna come out and he's like, crime and punishment, like, fuck. You think about that? I would love that.

Yeah. I would love that so much. instead of the idiot, it's the stupid. This is my book, The Stupid, about a guy who's stupid. This is, I don't think they should get paid a dime. What are they doing with the money in prison anyway? They're buying Jughead comics, they're buying knives. Bazooka, Bazooka bubble gum. Barmonica's. Cracker Jack. They're buying. idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison.

I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison.

I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison.

I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. I do like the idea of the prison. That's not healthy. So, you know, you get three square bills a day in prison and a nice big cup of gum in the shower. Yeah. I think you have enough. I do like the idea of the prison commissary as the wall from Chuck E. Cheese. Like, you can get the big sticky hand and that's it.

It's funny. I want porn and ramen and cigarettes, but I can only get the sticky hand. People say you got to give money to the prisoners because they're helping putting out the fires, but you're already giving money to the prisoners because it's your tax money. Sure. Your tax money goes to building the walls and giving them food and shelter and everything else. Our tax money goes to the bars for their cages.

That's right. I'm helping. I'm helping. Keep you in a cage. And when you get out, you cannot become a firefighter. Fuck you. Fuck you. I guess should they make like 20 an hour,

is that the argument? What is it for, so they can get more Doritos? What can you buy in prison? Are the firemen even paid that well? It's just like for the food, right? Are they like able to like buy like, Xboxes and stuff in prison? Is it like a Best Buy? They all have cell phones now, for some reason. I'm always seeing the to like buy like Xboxes and stuff is it like a best buy cell phones now

And I'm always seeing the prisoners like posting like yeah Instagram reels and shit. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know seems Fine why not pay when I've been with the firemen the actual firemen who have like wives and kids and stuff and they drink Red Bull and they drive trucks the firemen that you'd be able them money. The firemen should be able to jump on the prisoners' backs and ride them like horses into the fire. Like they're Yoshi. Yeah. Like in Super Mario. They just slap the fire out with their tongues.

No, it was interesting. I was watching a bunch of local LA news try and interview the prisoners as they were fighting the fires. And it felt like there wasn't anybody watching them. And I was like, there could be an uprising right now. They could just start pushing her around and then rape her

and run off into the distance. The cameraman's like, doesn't know what to do. Yeah, shoving the axe up her pussy. It was chaos. I wonder if a few escaped. I don't even know. They weren't chained. Not enough chains on them.

I didn't see any chains either. I didn't see any chains. Yeah. Not enough chains on those chains. On these people in the chains. Yeah. Yeah. Not enough chains. Not enough chains. On these people in the fires. On these people in the fires that were released from a cage. Yeah, they're trying to outrun the fires,

like, oh brother, where art thou? Just holding the chains together. Dude, isn't this the plot of the Jared Leto Joker movie? Is it? Isn't it like, there's a plot. Isn't it like the plot where they're like, how are we gonna defeat these terrorists? And it's like, our best soldiers

are actually the twisted minds in the suicide squad. The suicide squad. In St. Asylum, and they're gonna fight the evil for us. So they let them out of, they let Harley Quinn out of prison and all the other ones, Will Smith. Yeah, sure.

And so they can fight the evil, right? Yeah. And then they go back to prison or something. Will Smith's just like, so we're some type of prison firefighter force? Looking in the camera. I didn't even, I didn't see the movie, but I'm pretty sure that's the premise of it.

That's what we did. We actually released prisoners to do stuff for us. Yeah, well it's very cheap, that's the thing, is we don't have to pay more firefighters. Well, people will always be going to prison, and I don't know. I mean, they didn't seem like they were unhappy putting out the fires, from what I can tell.

Yeah, no, it's better than prison. Yeah, good for them. I mean, what do you do in prison besides jack off and make wine? What if they let them become cops as well? They have prisoner cops, just with a gun, rowing the streets. Yeah, give them Air 15s.

Set them loose. It's like picking your kid up from school. They're driving the school bus. Making them assistance. Yeah, I think they were just the guys who walked the field and then burned the little shit. I think those were the prison fire. They didn't let them get the hose. They gave them the candle lick thing. They would just go over to Little Rush. Cover it with the gay thing.

Their gay little leaky canteen. Yeah. Then they just go, this is helping. I'm actually helping by making more fires, which somehow works, I don't know. Is this a, so I wanted to talk about this Brian. The fucking loser that thinks he's gonna live forever. Do you know this guy?

Yeah, I'll fucking shoot him. Oh, Brian Johnson? You think you're gonna outlive all of us, huh? I'll pull up a picture of him so people can see it. I'm kidding! Parody law! That would be great if you're dying from cancer. You're like, I'm taking Brian Johnson with me. He looks like he has cancer. I know, he looks weird. I think he's trans, by the way.

He's a real cocky fuck on Twitter, too. I think he's five years away from putting the dress on, I gotta be honest. He's got that Bruce Jenner look to him. He does have that... There's he's got that Bruce Jenner look to him He does have that There's a different guy named Brian Johnson Health I guess health yeah Yeah Brian with a Y mm-hmm oh fuck what a retard way they've spoke it's an awful way to spell it yeah

Oh this guy look at him. Yeah It's an awful way to spell it. Yeah. Oh this guy look at him. Yeah Disgusting so this is this gentleman here. He looks like you mummified Matt Reif and opened them a couple years later. Yeah very weird guy That's disgusting. So I wanted to show you guys Something he's been sharing studies. So Devin you can kind of break him down real quick, right? I just saw he had a Netflix documentary I didn't even know about this. He only came across my radar because of the great Bill Maher of the...

Of the famed Club Random. The famed Club Random. Yeah. The seminal. The best seminal Peabody award winning Club Random. Who are your... I wish we were big enough to get interviews so they could just be like, who are your influences? We're like, well, you know, Club Random. Club Random. Who are your, I wish we were big enough to get interviews so they could just be like who are your influences?

We're like well you know Club Random. Real time. That's it. The show before that I forget the name of it on HBO. Politically incorrect. I'm sure, there we go. So these, hold on. Look at this guy here.

Scrolling past some great Randy Quaid content. Oh yeah, we can get to that if you want. This night, oh yeah, he's like tracking his son's like erections in the night. He's putting a cock ring with a Bluetooth on it on his son's dick. Yeah, he's like sucking his kid off at night and measuring how like strong his boners are.

Yeah, yeah, he's like has a lab coat on him, he's wiping his chin, he's like, my son has very viscous cum. Yeah, he's like flossing with his son's neck while he sleeps, this fucking psychopath. He's a translucent psychopath. I know, and he's always supposed to be like, my cum is actually four times,

I shoot four times thicker ropes than the average 19 year old. I've reversed the age of my cum. The more you think about health, the less healthy you become in a weird way. Yeah, no, he's like microwaving his kidneys and shit. This is no way to live. No.

This is not good. This is not a man who lives to a ripe old age of 100. You're measuring your son's cock? Dude, he doesn't go outside if the air quality's bad. He just stays in his house and does his workouts and eats his little mushroom things. No, kill me. I'll proudly let the air kill me

because I am an Angelino at heart. Yep. I walk out, I see an N95 mask at the store, I go use for cowards. I still think it's gay. Yeah. Yep. Let the asbestos kill me.

Yeah. Look at this shit here, so look, he has, this is his versus his son's, he has five erections per night and his son has six and then here's the total duration of the episodes 182 minutes direction. I believe he doesn't set night nighttime erection date. Mm-hmm. This is it right here. I don't know direction quality Pretty good three straight hours of a boner. Are we really that hard as guys throughout the night? Yeah, these guys are Geez women must hate sleeping with us.

Why, because you... Because they just wake up and they... Do you sleep rape? You do sleep rape, don't you? No, I day rape. Oh yeah. That's where they're asleep and you still roofing them. Yeah.

Yeah. It's much easier that way. You don't have to trick them into drinking a cocktail. You just have an eye dropper. What you do is you court them for a couple years, marry them, and then every night, drug and rape them in their sleep. What if you found out your spouse was raping you

every night for years? I was with him for seven years. Do you just think you're having night terrors and horrible dreams and waking up sore and covered in cum. Yeah, you're like, yeah. There's a demon. You're like, huh, my pussy's leaking cum in my sleep.

What's going on? Yeah. Horrible. No, I can guarantee you that happens to probably 15% of wives in America where they go, they like wake up and their husband's raping them, they're like, okay, just pretend to be asleep

because if I wake up he's gonna make me suck him off. I'd like to judge less of men or women that cheat on their spouse because I think I'm very judgmental about that. But beneath the surface of that, Of cheating? Of cheating is you pull the guy or the girl aside and they go, look, he, like,

it's usually never that girl, by the way, I'm trying to be generous here. Sure. You pull the guy aside and the guy will be like, yeah, she hasn't fucked me in two years. Yeah, which by the way, I'll go by on cheating. If your wife has not fucked you in two years and you're working a job and paying for everything,

you should get to kill her and get off with it. There's no world in which that is wrong, I don't think. I mean, in my opinion, if you're not putting out and he's going to get pussy elsewhere, sorry ladies, but that's also, how about you're both cheating? You're cheating on the covenant of marriage by not giving up your pussy whenever he snaps his fingers. You're monetarily cheating on it.

That is true. Sorry. That was the agreement. No, no. Pussy, hello. You're money cheating. You are taking money without giving up pussy, which is what the relationship is supposed to be.

Yes, how about my bank account's not open anymore, honey? But in this situation, you're also broke. Sure, yeah. The man that she founds you. She makes all the money. She works 18 hours a day. She's like, I've actually lost respect for you because you haven't got a job

I've just I've found out situations where I go I can't I do this I do the housewife thing like I Can't I they were happily married for 20 and I go oh she didn't she stopped fucking She's not fucking like yeah or five years. She kept begging for bullshit Imagine you go you do this you buy about you get a new home right you buy a bunch of a bunch of glasses Right sure pour liquids in right drinks well first You buy a, you get a new home, right? You buy a bunch of glasses, right? Pour liquids in, drinks. Well first off, you would hang this in the front. Of course, but every time you go to grab the glass,

it goes, I'm not really paying. I don't wanna have any water. And you go, no, I'm paying the mortgage to have the glasses. I mean, I didn't buy you, but somewhat I did. I wanna pour coffee in you. Cream, I have some cream. You go to McDonald's and you order the full meal

and then you pay and you're like, that'll be $25 and they go, all right, bye. You don't get to eat. Yeah, it is insane. I don't feel like you eating. It is insane. You have to be either making like the greatest meals of all time.

I have to be so full I can't even get it up. Because you made such a fucking great buttery meal. That's okay, I guess, okay. But I'll still drug you in your sleep. My wife. But when they do this thing where they go. My wife who I love. My wife of 13 years.

That's in your vows and I promise to stay faithful as long as you let me rape you in your sleep. Drug you, drug you my beloved and then rape you in my sleep. It's a very formal wedding. You have like an ascot and stuff and the long coattails. And do you Courtney promise to get fucked unconsciously

as long as you both shall live? There's a priest there with his holding a bible. A priest there, he's holding a bible and he's got a huge erection. That he's just, he's kind of just like rubbing the tip. He's like grabbing the tip through his priest clothes. He's like, do you promise to like fucking get wet in your sleep when he tries to sleep? And that's what marriage is. That's what marriage should be.

It is insane. I mean, there are so many where it's like, we've been married 10 years, we don't have sex anymore. I can't believe that. They go, we hate each other, we don't have sex. What's even the point of this? Is this a tax thing at that point? Yeah, this is my roommate.

Yeah, you just turned your relationship into Al Capone's tax scam. What's the fucking point? I don't know I don't know man. There's a there's a lot of weirdos out there measuring their son's dicks Yeah, their erections and stuff. It's it's weird. There's a great if you have a lot of free time There's a great subreddit called our slash dead bedrooms and it's just guys being like well, I did it I tried to fuck her for the first time in 10 months and she recoiled at my touch. I'm finally gonna do it.

I'm gonna fuck my son's teacher. And every comment is like, you had to do it, man. You gotta do it. That's great. Dead bedroom? Dude, it's dead bedrooms. Should we look it up? It's the only, I don't know if it'll be that funny.

It's more just sad than anything. I'll just go to most controversial. Yeah. And one guy's like, my wife didn't fuck me tonight Yeah, our slash dead bedrooms, yeah top com. Oh, this is these are all sad Yeah had enough and had a conversation my wife about separating She has been threatening divorce for the last five years on every little argument But it's never carried through other than bitching about me

to our common friends. Dude, no sex for three years. No sex for three years. Awful sex, only on my initiation for five years before that. I feel bad for the kids, but I am tired of being treated like shit for so much time. Man, poor guy.

What are the comments? By the way, his username is GreatGuy. GreatGuyXX. He's a good guy. What are the comments? His, by the way, his username is GreatGuy. GreatGuyXX. He's a good guy. Yeah. I'm so, I just don't believe her anymore. What is this? Can I view the?

Yeah. 31 males spent all day shopping with her, which I hate. To keep her company. I don't expect to get anything out of this situation. Never have. I'm not a transactional person. She must have felt guilty or something and asked if I wanted a blow job that night and was groping me in the car

and showing off to me in the fitting rooms. I, of course, enthusiastically accepted, but there's a part of me that has learned it's not gonna happen. She has a serious problem never falling through on any sort of sexual promise or suggestion. That night I make sure to shower before bed and get cleaned up, you know, just in case.

I shower often before bed so there should be no obvious pressure for her. I climb into bed and, oh oh she's going to sleep immediately classic Yep, wow, sorry buddy. Yeah, can you see that? Can you see the comments like what people are responding to that? Oh, yeah, yeah, I can't to the Yeah, I just I just don't believe her anymore. No that was the that we haven't read that one. Oh Roll up. Yeah. Yeah, I I wanna see what people are saying. In response to this guy.

In her version she offered you accepted, making her feel wanted, and that's good enough to meet her needs. Your needs, that's on you. Fuck women! He might as well just write that after. People with lower libidos usually don't care and are likely relieved they don't have to follow through.

Trust me, this doesn't work. Damn. Yeah, it's a real sad care and are likely relieved they don't have to follow through. Trust me, this doesn't work. Damn. Yeah. It's a real sad, and these are the top for today. These are not best all time, most controversial. It's just nothing but fuckin' dads who are beat to fucking shit. And only staying in the relationship for their stupid kids.

Yeah, but you're not, it's not really, it's like, oh, we're staying in a really bad relationship. The kids hate it, so they can sense the fucking tension and oppression in the house. Sort by, uh. It's like the, yeah, come on. You guys still hate each other. Last night, my wife sent me a text out of the blue,

this was the most liked of this year. We don't talk much, so it was kind of a surprise. We divorced in 2018 after six years of almost zero sex. Maybe 15 times in the last six years. Jesus. She remarried three years later. This is what she wrote. Hey, I just want to say I'm sorry.

You were a good husband and I took that for granted. Patrick has completely ignored me in the bedroom and now I know what I put you through. Every single feeling you described to me that I laughed or ignored Is true your feelings were valid, and I'm truly sorry. I would have divorced me over this guys. I feel validated I feel like closure has finally happened, but oddly I also feel very sad for her. I wouldn't wish Nobody's saying that so he can be like you can be like fuck her but also like I'm a really He's reading this while he's laying in a pile of hookers.

He's showing them, look at this idiot. Look at this dumb bitch. Look at this dumb bitch. Dumb ass. He high fives a hooker's pussy. I wanna wish this on my worst enemy. We actually had a pretty civil divorce even though she refused to take any blend.

Yep, there we go. Wow. This is what it is. I mean, these ladies, you know, your day of reckoning will come whether it's, whether it's in the divorce or, you know, you get what you need, as they say. Generally, I do think there's probably a couple of like Scott Petersen's type cases that were

Out of this. Yeah, that's all you need to do is just fuck your husband That's all he you know, of course, he loves you and wants to take care of you But he has to get calm out of his body. Do you know what's even crazier? What when older gay guy couples have a dead bedroom and they're like, I fucking hate, and they're still together, they're so horny, that means their hate is more than how insanely horny both of them are.

They still don't. That's like not being able to grow weeds in the Northeast, that's insane. And then when they fuck once every five years and the neighbors think a bomb went off in the neighborhood. They think a car backfired. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They fuck so weird and aggressive. It was so weird that car alarms went off.

It wasn't even particularly loud. Balls to ass, so loud. The sound of a ball hitting other balls that are then hitting a dick. Yeah. A car is like, what's going on? When gay guys don't wanna have sex, do they just like, they just eat a bunch

and hold the shit in? Do they have the excuse of like, no, what do you want me to shit all over you? Not tonight, I have a butt ache, I can't do it. Because it's blowjob culture really, because gay guys don't ass fuck as much as we like to think they do. They don't?

Unfortunately, no. Oh my god. I've heard that before, it's a lot less, because you have to prep the butt fucking. Are you kidding me? They can't eat, they'll say that. They'll be like, I'm not eating today because I'm getting fucked in my dirty little ass tonight.

I hate to ruin your week, though, but they don't fuck each other in the ass really all that much. That's all a big farce. They don't eat for like, they have to prep for it like they're going into a film shoot. They're like, I didn't eat for three days. I douched my ass So I thought yeah, you can't really yeah, do they have is like so when they say they hooked up they

Is just a blowjob blowjobs jacking each other off shit like that. Yeah, so each other's cocks 69 each other's cocks, you know drinking their own come 69 of each other's cocks, you know, drinking their own cum, docking their penises inside of each other. I don't know, gay guys can come from just talking shit. Merciless shit. Just emotionally manipulating somebody and abusing them and talking shit about somebody

and they just like, yeah, I just came. Yeah, yeah. There's cum dribbling down their leg. They literally come out of a social gathering and one gay guy walks away and he goes, I mean, did you see the new boyfriend he brought? And then he just goes, ugh, fuck. They're all just ripping their cocks.

Yeah, just ripping their cocks. That's the funniest thing about gays hanging out. It'll be like 15 guys at a RuPaul's party and they'll be like, this is great. And then they're like, we're all hanging out as like the guys. And then just all of a sudden they just start fucking the shit out of each other. Yeah, is a funny thing Oh, do you think so? Like when gay guys meet up at a party?

They just like a gay birthday party turns into an orgy no matter what. There's like animals They get stuck and they can't get pulled apart. Like how dogs were you spraying with a hose and they're like, I can't. Chinese finger trap. Turns into one connective. Yeah, it's a human centipede, they can't get out of it. No, but I think that generally happens is it's like if you and me went to a dinner

and we're just talking about life and we're like, oh man, that was great, I needed this and then we're saying goodbye. And then you just randomly, you wanna go fuck each other in that bush real quick? And they're like, yeah, and then you just do that. Which girls do if they're drunk at weddings. If they're drinking as hard as they do at weddings

and they see the love in the chapel, every time I've heard a crazy sex story, it's always a guy, there's a bridesmaid or something, and he takes her and he'll fuck her behind a weird outhouse thing, or fuck her in the woods, or like fuck her in a big hole. They'll call that- Fuck her in a big hole.

They'll take a hole in the fucker. Before the wedding. He's there the night before. Like he's digging a grave. They'll be walking through the woods and it'll be like, oh wow, look at this big hole. Perfect. Somebody we can fuck it.

She's bracing herself on the sides of the dirt. She's doing anal for the first time. And he goes, no, get all the way down in the hole. The hole's deep enough. Yeah, it's always, they lower themselves down into a well and they just butt fuck in there. Only. Only butt fuck in there. Sure.

Only. Only butt fuck. Because it's Christian. Sure. Yeah, I guess they get turned on by the love. The love, they see the love is in the air and they're drinking a lot and they are ripe for the picking.

If you are a lonely, weird, older, sort of balding, on-his-way-out guy and you want one last dance with a 24 year old you need to start attending weddings because you could just have your pick of the leader. Or get into any entertainment field whatsoever at any level of success and you can just pick them off like it's D-Day just coming off the U-boats. But no, that's the thing, is women, when they feel connected and close, when they feel very close to you, they want to,

that's when they want to have sex. Yeah, but I still don't understand why, if the guy is good in the marriage, supposedly, right? Because she realized he was a good husband, right? In this scenario. No, you know, these women are cunts, and they don't deserve anything. Are you really supposed to have,

is all the sex supposed to be special when you go, no, you got a guy that wants to cum a lot? I mean, it's like, right? Shouldn't you just lift your sundress up while you're making eggs and just let him not decide if you're fucking, before you walk into the bathroom? Like that scene in Breaking Bad?

Yeah, his morning hard on. Yeah. You fuck her into the fridge. Nah, I'm not saying rape them into the fridge while they have a green mask on, but yeah. Don't do a bit. Don't do that, but they should just be like, yeah, no, sure, they're flipping waffles

and they just lift their sundress up and you're walking out with your morning boner. Cause you kinda, doesn't it, I get turned on when I have to pee. I kinda want, I could cum through this, I think. Through this hole. Yeah. Oh, you could turn the piss into a cum

Yeah shoots through it goes by it's like hey McEvoy movie where they curve around it you curve the car the morning would you know sure Fucker into the fridge and ruin the eggs The milk there should be more in place than just quickies around the week. It should be a lot more of like, hey, can you wake up in the morning, she's cooking, and you're like,

she's like, can you take out the trash? I'm like, yeah, can you give me a hand job real quick? She's like, yeah. And then you come. Just real quick. We come, and it could be fun, I'm dirty. Jack me up into the trash. Then I'll take it out.

And I'll take it out, perfect. And then all my neighbors are seeing me holding my own cum and that's hot. Yes, exactly. But that's the thing is- Yeah, they can smell the cum from the trash. Yes. It all needs to be so special.

Yeah, but that's the thing. Thank you, Devin. We'll have special sex on Friday after the date, but until then it's gonna be like a lot of dirty shit. You're gonna be like being thrown around. Thank you. Sure, I'll light some candles every once in a while. I don't know about you, but...

I do generally have this thing. I think guys feel close when they fuck somebody. That creates closeness. That's the reason a one-night stand makes you sad. Because you're like, oh, I feel close to this person I don't necessarily like or even know at all. So as a guy, if I want to love my wife, she's like, you gotta do special things for me. It's like, yeah, but just fucking fuck me

and then I'll wanna do special things for you. But here's what I'm trying to understand with these marriages. Why does the pussy cocoon? Why does the pussy turn into an old prehistoric fossilized horseshoe crab that can never be opened again and just collects dust of the century. Why, what are these women?

You have a beautiful thing that we all love. Why are you hiding it from the world? We're all waiting to just love you and accept you and get in there. Yeah, you mean why do they age? Yeah. Is that the question? No, why do they take their pussy

and hide it from the world? I think that's part of it. We love your pussy. Yeah. When you're out with your, you should like, when you're bringing your wife around people in a new environment, you should be able to be like, yeah, look at these things.

Like showing off a new car or something. Smell that. Look at that, bend over, twirl. It's a new pussy smell. Take it for a spin. Take it, fuck her, Jeff. Hey, don't take her on the highway, if you know what I mean, but you can take her on the block.

Now open hand. Yeah. Open hand. Yeah, don't choke her or anything, but have fun. I think it's a self-esteem thing with them. I was gonna say the same thing. I think it's they have a kid or they gain like 20 pounds and they're like, well I'm gross and disgusting.

I don't wanna. Suck it up and put your pussy on a big dinner plate and serve it to me, sweetie. That's what I'm saying. They don't understand. You could get blown up with a frag grenade and I'm like, I'll still fuck you if you're about to die or something.

Like if your wife got caught in the thing from Signs where the truck's holding them together, you'd be like, I'll still fuck you as your guts are falling out. Like can I get like one? I'll signs where the truck's holding them together, you'd be like, I'll still fuck you as your guts are falling out. Like can I get like one, I'll walk into the truck. I'll walk up to the truck. You're fucking her separate lower half. I'm walking up to the truck, I'm like,

can I like right before you, like right when you die, can I fuck you like really quick? It'll be beautiful. And then I'm like, all right, back this truck up boys, back it up. Boop, boop, boop, back it up. But they don't- That's how Signs ends.

It's a flashback to Mel Gibson fucking his severed wife. Yeah, he's going, he's going, swing away. Do you guys actually think, do you think there's a psychological thing where the woman thinks when they get married, like it's kind of like in the back of her head, like, nice, that's it. Done deal. It's done.

I don't have to fuck as much now. I think for some people I know, I've heard that. Got him. Got him. I think for some a lot, yeah. Like nice, that's it done deal done Got him I think I got the fish in the boat those women Yeah, where it's like every time they have sex is to have a kid You know some of the women where they treat you like you're just like you're like you're just there for the like there's like fill Me up. Yeah, fill me up. Let's go. Yeah. Yep. All right. All right pay it off the house I don't gotta make a mortgage payment anymore It's all good. Yeah, I always dream to having five fucking kids and we're gonna have five Beautiful children now inseminate me. Yes, fuck me

Yeah, I think I think that's genuinely there's a lot of evil women who do do that It's just crazy cuz it's like just let me titty fuck your ass Just just squeeze just stick your ass out and squeeze it and I'll pretend it's your tits and I slide my dick in between your ass crack. And bring it up. Oh, with a Sharpie I'll put nipples on your ass. I'm easy, you know, I'm easy.

Just like suck my asshole and jack me off. I'm easy. Just scoop shit out of my asshole. Suck the shit out of my asshole while I'm driving. While I come. I'll put my legs on the dash. scoop shit out of my asshole. Suck the shit out of my asshole while I'm driving. While I come. I'll put my legs on the dash. Check me out.

If you love me. After you've eaten the shit out of the corners of my asshole. If you love me and you want this marriage to be good, you'll let me shit in your open mouth. Sweetheart, I'm easy. I am easy breezy. I like normal basic sex. Hey, I like walks on the beach

and you eating shit out of my ass. Hot, hot shit out of my asshole. I'm easy. Yeah. But I do think if you're getting divorced, like if you go to mediation, they should be like, when was the last time you fucked him? And if it's like five years, it's like you don't,

you have nothing, you don't get anything. You have to go to jail, actually. Maybe it's why a lot of these men eventually just settle for some, they're on their third divorce. You ever been, I went to my dad, one of his loser friends weddings one time. Third wedding?

Yeah, and he was like was marrying some kind of fat lady named Cialis, just some meaningless nothing woman. And he was just a beard at that point, he was just a neck beard guy. And I'm like, I guess they have love, but is it just because she'll fuck him? Yeah, I think it's that. He wants to keep fucking her, she wants to get married.

She's never been wanted, because she like average and not if she's like below average, right? He's you know I don't know. I do want when when like ugly people have to marry ugly people Does that like really bum them out that they have to fuck people? Yeah, I don't know And the idea maybe they're just like they accept it and it's about the feeling and not the face, not the body. Well, you know, you, listen, if you're in a home and there's only one lady there. I can't say something to me. What?

Suck the shit out of my ass. Listen, honey, I'm a simple, you have like a pipe and a smoking jacket. I'm a simple man. Just suck corn out of my shit as it comes out of my ass. Ha ha ha. Be a human bidet. No, tie that shit in a knot like a cherry stem.

I'm a simple Christian man. I'm easy. Hey, I'm easy like Sunday morning. What I'm saying is, so I'll give you an example. We went to the Heavy Metal Show, right? Everyone looked like something at the city zoo. It was unbelievable how horrendous these people were. Everyone there looked like they bathed with a giant hose.

Like in a self car wash. That just blows them over concrete. Not even respectfully. You have to hire a carpet cleaner. Guys that professionally... Guy with the big wand thing just over your back, sucking dirt out of it. Yeah. Those guys, they're fed in big buckets,

like at SeaWorld when you see all the fish in the buckets. Yes. Okay, so disgusting people, and the women were, it was unbelievably bad, but here's the thing, very few women at the show. Sure. So, I noticed what I,

you net, it's a survival thing for guys. It's built in, it's not cheating, it's not anything. I took notice of all the women, and I ranked them in my head, and I didn't even realize I was unconsciously doing this, and the two girls that were the hottest girls there, I was like, those are the hot girls. I took notice of them, like, they're the attractive girls. And then I would like blink, and I would like get a fresh look at them, I'd be like, whoa, oh no, it are the hot girls. I took notice of them, they're the attractive girls.

And then I would blink and I would get a fresh look at them. I'd be like, whoa, oh no, that's Gene Simmons. Yeah. You're like, that woman's hot, but then if you magically pick them up and put them on the SMU campus, you'd be like, I have to kill them with a flamethrower. These are creatures from space trying to imitate humans.

But since I was there for two and a half hours Those girls were not in a I'm trying to cheat on my wife thing just I was like those are their attractive girls Mm-hmm, but again every time I got a fresh gander at him. I was like, holy fuck. Yeah work in an office It's the same exact. I know you guys don't have office experience, but you'll be in an office You and you'll just be like there eight hours every day and you're like And that 50 year old fat secretary I could really yeah, you start really yeah, I really knock those fucking tits around Yeah, you turn into the guy in sideways Michael what's that guys go say? So no no sideways

In church he's just like fucking like yeah everybody he's fucking that woman in the ass He just needs to get his knot off before he gets married. Some guys are like that, it's just about conquest. Yeah. In a way, men are simple and how complex a woman can be. Maybe that's what these men should do in the marriage. They go, no, it's not even about the sex, it's a power thing, I wanna dominate you.

Yeah, I don't even need to fuck you, if I can make you really scared for like 20 minutes. You know how a lot of people right now are in abusive relationships? I think this is the modern form of abuse right here. I think so. I think there's a lot of emotional abuse going on right now. And physical probably too. Oh yeah, I mean, sure. The lesbian community is alive and well, aren't they? Yeah, exactly. There you go.

They're like rock-em-sock-em robots. Those firefighters are just throwing right hooks at each other. I mean, yeah. They're fighting fires and fighting each other. That's why they couldn't put the fires out there, because they find the shit out of each other. Wait, what were we saying? Marriage is a lot of people going...

Abuse. Oh, yeah, so I think the new, the a lot of people abuse. Oh, yeah So I think the new the modern form of emotional abuse that's really hard to spot for some people Is the uh the love bombing thing? Love bombing there's no worse abuse than love bombing because You get to be the good guy and the bad guy you get to play both roles wear both masks the good guy and the bad guy. You get to play both roles, wear both masks. So you abuse, you gaslight people,

you emotionally manipulate them, and you're very cold and weird and have erratic behavior for two weeks, and then you buy them a really nice necklace. And it confuses the fuck out of them, and they go, oh, he is actually a really nice guy who cares about me. And then the next day, he goes right back

to the cycle of Being an ass so he gets to be like high and mighty like I'm I'm actually the good boyfriend or the good husband Flowers behave however he wants for two weeks again Yeah, he just he does a love bomb thing mm-hmm which buys him abuse tokens Yep, that he uses at his will throughout the next two weeks Yeah, and women use this as examples to their girlfriends. And I think that's going on big time right now. I think that's a big thing that ladies

need to keep an eye out for. And you ask yourself, are they abusing me because they're sick, evil people? Or are they abusing me because I'm not putting out enough? And you gotta put that pussy to the test. You gotta lay it out on the bed every night, and you, unfortunately, you gotta let them do their thing to find out if it's gonna change their temperament,

because you might just be, you actually might be a cunt, and that's why they have to gaslight you and emotionally manipulate you at every corner. I don't want that to happen to people out there. No, you don't want it, you don't want it, it's just you were turned down for a blowjob there. No, you don't want it. You don't want it. It's just you were turned down for a blowjob one time, so you subconsciously are hiding. One time.

One time, and you're subconsciously hiding this immense rage inside of you for this person. No, all seriousness run from those people. That's the worst, because they get to hide and play in sight. They get to be the good spouse and be the selfish piece of narcissistic shit. Anytime someone, sometimes people tell me a thing their spouse did for them and I go, oh it must be hell at home. Like when they tell me about a really, really, really

nice random out of the blue thing. The best couples I know never really do anything that big. Or do anything that. They don't need big no or do they don't need to yeah, they don't need to It's the same as a flight of Bali. Yeah, and then do it's the couple on Instagram where they're like, you know Happy six-month anniversary to my best friend the love of my life When you see those posts on Instagram posting about their vacations and their trips I go there and when they when they when they specifically go, when they go, I know we get in tiffs sometimes,

that means fist through dry walls and not fucking for months at a time. That means I locked her in the dryer. It means I locked her in the dryer and had to start for five minutes. I locked her in the dryer and then I put a knife to his throat while he was sleeping and just stood there with it.

Well, that's what's kinda great when they're both psychotic when they stay together and they're like Tom and Jerry trying to kill each other. Yeah, yeah, they're doing the LinkedIn version of dating where they're just like, another year, got a promotion to fiance. Hope he doesn't die of carbon monoxide poisoning tonight. I accidentally left the car running in the garage.

You know he has a- And I went to stay at my friend's house. He came home a little drunk. I left the car on. Oopsie. Oopsie. He fell asleep in the car. And I went to stay at my friend's house. He came home a little drunk. I left the car on. Oopsie. He fell asleep in the car. He fell asleep. You know he has a genetic history of heart problems.

That's a thing. Women plotting to kill him. So good. There's been tons of stories of that, right? Where the woman will slowly poison the man over time. So there's one thing I really wanted to talk about to wrap up the episode. Okay.

I think it's, I don't wanna build it up too much, but it has to do with pussy. Okay, great. And I'm sorry, did I cut you off? No, not at all. It's good we finally started talking about pussy on this episode. No, we're about to get to,

I think we're about to uncover the haunting psychology of women, I think. I think we're gonna brush away the cobwebs and the dust and get in there and shine a bright light on their bizarre psyches. It's time to take them down. It's what they left. Finally, someone gives women what they've always deserved.

They've had it too good for too long. Let me click out of this video of the Sugarhill Gang, because I was trying to teach you guys about fucking rap sure CBS Sunday morning what's this bitch's name again Brooke Shields think it's Brooks yeah this little bat mm-hmm see this lady right yeah she's doing the whole thing now that all the really hot women do where when they start aging where they're they like speak out on aging and like women and it's like well you weren't talking I mean you didn't care about the ladies when you were getting the jobs when you were younger, sweetheart

Yeah, no, it's like you're in Tarzan and everything showing your big tits. Yeah No, you don't care about the old funny daddies then huh? It's a rich person who finally went broke and they go, you know, we don't talk enough about income inequality. It's so true. And that's something I've always cared about even when I was rich and getting, you know, my dick sucked by whores and stuff. You know what I don't care about?

What? People who get a disease and then become an advocate for it. Yeah. Where they're like, now it's like, well, I see a little bit of a bias here. What are you gonna do? Imagine what a psycho you would be to get a disease and then champion another disease.

You donate to another disease that's not yours? I don't know. Can I tell you? I just like an open mind. Can I tell you? I'm in the center. I was a. I don't like to get political with disease.

I'm a mid-wit. I was at a golf tournament one time for a job and it was like, every golf tournament is like a benefit for some person who died horrifically and it was called you know like Kaylee's problem and the chair like the golf tournament for Kaylee's problem and I was like I played the whole thing I didn't know any fucking body there I just my boss knew I was good at golf so he's like you're coming for the scramble and then they're giving this speech after where it's in there like, this disease has killed.

I swear to God, they go, this disease, it's very, very rare, it's killed seven people worldwide. And that's the thing is nobody cares enough to try and treat it. And I was kinda like, ah, I kinda also don't care enough to give any money. Seven people versus every cancer. I kinda also don't care enough to give any money. Seven people versus every cancer. Seven in history or like that year?

No, seven in history. Like a very, very, very, very rare genetic disorder. Jase makes a good point here. When people are up, we need a cure. I'm like, no, we need to cure everything. You guys are just selfish. You have a thing, you're dying. I swear to God they said that. They said they were they were like they're like everybody gives money to cancer, but nobody gives it to

About it. I know they're cocksuckers about it should be happy people are trying to cure cancer You should be happy. Nobody else is getting what your daughter had. Yeah instead of just like all right Yeah, if a fucking indie disease Your shoe gaze disease Yeah, sorry your disease is my bloody Valentine Better like next life But I felt shitty but you could see everybody at the gulf I looked at my boss and he kind of looked at me He's like well that contractor sells a lot of fucking fire alarms. All right. Do you guys want to see this bitch?

Yeah, watch this shit here. So I have a timestamp here, but let me just start out this interview Well that contractor sells a lot of fucking fire alarms. All right, do you guys wanna see this bitch? Yeah. Watch this shit here. So I have a timestamp here, but let me just start out this interview so you guys can kind of sink into the waters a little bit. It doesn't scan, where it brings it to the top. Brooke Shields. Weapon spirit.

Okay, before you comment on her body there, I wanna remind you she's a minor. Yeah. Minor in this. It's Sunday morning on CBS. She's like 14 and the guy keeps trying to fuck her. And here again is Gabe Tarzan. They showed her titties in this movie

I think what is this Tarzan or Robinson? It's a the blue lagoon. I believe yes. Well Jason is a real mr. Skin guy I'm a letterbox guy. Yeah, mr. Skin Yeah, I watched Mulholland Drive and I go excellent movie gigantic pair of tits on that brunette. Naomi Watts is good as well, she has large nipples. Okay, so you have to watch, so she starts saying like, oh yeah, those are the glory days, I was, you know, blah blah blah, everyone wanted to fuck me, whatever. And she's kind of skipping over like, you know,

horrible abuse she's experienced in Hollywood, because it's too graphic for CBS Sunday morning. And also, no one gives a shit about the Time's Up thing anymore, and everyone cares about like, Israel, and then below that's Black Lives Matter, and then below that's Time's Up. So right here, she's going to start talking about a procedure she got. Simple, maybe unwittingly, but I didn't set out to do that. Nearly 44 years after being named the face of a decade,

Shields hopes to be a voice for her generation, empowering women by sharing her personal and at times vulnerable experiences. You say you know this will make headlines, and you reveal this story. It did not make headlines. No one knows about this. So what she's about to say did not make headlines, and she thought this was the thing

she couldn't wait to come out with. And you know, her star is dying, it's dwarfed. And now she thinks this will be the supernova that is going to bring about a resurgence here. Here we go. Which a doctor performed a surgery on you that you did not consent to. You go, whoa, that's crazy.

She goes, he stole my pussy. He stole it. He gave me a pussy on me. He was a big fan of mine in the 80s. Lied to me, drugged me, stole my pussy. Stole my pussy, my pussy was actually sold on the black market. No, she can't find her pussy.

She can't find her pussy, it's hanging above his fireplace at his cabin. Next to the rifle. And he brings friends, he brings business, the guy's over and goes, This is Brook Shield's fucking pussy. He goes, you're not gonna believe it, that's Brook Shield's pussy. And they go, oh my god, can I fuck it?

And he goes, buddy. That's why the ladder's there. Buddy, get up there. Get up there. Get up, tear that shit up, man! You old son of a bitch. You old sandbag and son of a bitch, you. You old sandbag and son of a bitch,

I know you're gonna fuck it. Well, you don't just steal Brooke Shields pussy and not let your boys fuck it. I know you old whore dog, I go to sleep, you'd fuck it anyway, why you even asking? What time's our teeth out tomorrow? So it's like, Greg, you're a dentist. He's like, no, I was taking her tonsils out.

He's like, yeah, you know the thing we cut teeth with? Like, cut her pussy off. He's taking her wisdom teeth out. He took her pussy. Yeah. He goes so there she's very crudely. She's on nitrous. Her pussy's right there.

I'm not going to take it. Because, you work and you gotta go in. Because the inside of the pussy's what you want. See, the thing is you gotta get the roots of the pussy, otherwise it'll just die once you take it out. It's like pulling a turnip. You pull it out, you gotta put it in a big, good jar of milk. Not formaldehyde. Not formaldehyde, milk is actually what'll keep it nice

and fresh, like a veal cutlet. He puts it in cold milk. In cold milk. And he goes, I gotta rush it. Not formaldehyde. Not formaldehyde. Milk is actually what'll keep it nice and fresh, like a veal cutlet. He puts it in cold milk. Cold milk. And he goes, I gotta rush home to put this on something. It's a Sensenbarbe side. He takes it out the fuckin' every night.

Yeah. All right, so here is the, here's. By the way, why does this interview look like Roger the Alien in disguise from fucking American dad? Bizarre, huh? Yeah. Real nasty creature we got here. Fuck her.

Fuck her too. I don't wanna. I'll steal your pussy too. And I'll date rape you while you're sleeping. Absolutely. The new formations made us maybe crazy. I think it's the power of the sign that has really emboldened us. Here we go, boys.

All right. Here she's going to say, let me rewind it. Here we go. And you reveal this story in which a doctor performed a surgery on you that you did not consent to. What happened? performed a surgery on you, but you did not consent. What happened? I was asked by my gynecologist if I experienced discomfort

and I said yes. In the late 2000s, Shields went to a surgeon to help reduce some labia discomfort. In the late 2000s, she says she found it. Her pussy stole it by her dentist, who then mounted it on his cabinet. He performed an extra procedure. Oh, here we go.

So, here, I'll rewind it. 2000s, Shields went to a surgeon to help reduce some labia discomfort. But after the operation, she says she found out he performed an extra procedure, an unwanted vaginal rejuvenation. He literally looked at me and said, I tightened you up a bit.

I was like, what? Is this literally our breast sketch? I made a pussy tighter. That he threw in a little bonus for me. And I was in such shock that I just. So that was the big, this is the big. I became numb. I didn't even know what to do.

What did you say? I didn't say it. I didn't say a thing. Because it sounded like he wanted me to thank him. So you didn't say anything then. I didn't say anything then, and this is the first time I've said anything. That so-called.

It is funny, because like cuts to the husband, he's like, thank you so much. He's like, thank you. He's handing him money behind his back. What are you? He's handing him a big sack with a dollar sign on it. What are you, did he have like a wrench, and he just like, how do you hide in a pussy?

We put speakers in it, I don't know. How do you revive it? Did he trim the lip, did he trim the lips up? Is it one of those? Yeah, he rejuvenated it. Like he took some garden shears to it or something? Probably high heat, shrink stuff, right? Yeah, like a shrink you think.

Yeah. He just put a fucking hairdryer on it. He put a hot iron in there. Yeah. I don't know, I mean maybe he, Botox? Can he Botox the pussy? I think people are doing that.

I mean I know pussies rip after pregnancy and they just sew them up and then within a month or two they're tighter and stuff. Yeah. It's funny, maybe he just loved Brooke Shields so much he's like, I refuse to live in a world where I don't tighten your pussy. I mean, you're Brooke Shields,

you can't have a trash pussy. You're Brooke Shields. You're Brooke Shields. I mean, this is like, she's acting like this is like. Well it is, I mean, you gotta keep playing, but I don't really know what that even means. It just means her pussy's better. Yeah, but she was raped.

Positively. Well. In a weird way. I guess. Right, I don't know. I mean, is this really, like women in Hollywood are saying they were forced in trailers to like. It is kind of like saying like I,

like it's me at like 60 and I went, he put me under and I woke up with a nine inch cock. This is my story. He gave me, it was. It's kind of what I'm saying. I went to the Chinese doctor from Amelia Perez and he gave me sex change operation. I get getting bigger tits or something like that.

She went in and gave her bigger tits. You might not want fake tits or something. But the pussy, if the pussy, you're telling me that the, first of all, the pussy being tighter has nothing to do with you, bitch. You don't fuck yourself, last time I checked. So anytime a guy goes down there, you have a higher chance

of the man falling in love with you because of your pussy that is technically, you had a V8 engine and you walked out with a V12 and you're mad at the mechanic? Really? Come on, sweetheart. It's just because it was behind her back. It's technically a sexual assault, I guess. I mean, if we're being technically,

it's a huge violation of oppression. Massive violation. All right, I'll walk this back. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think that's the same as like being raped in an alleyway. No, no, I don't think anybody's saying that.

Getting a free pussy that rocks. No, it's not. A free pussy to kick ass. You might come if you get raped in an alleyway. Nobody's coming from that surgery. Can I tell you, I looked it up. So there's three types of pussy rejuvenation surgeries. There's a labiaplasty, which is I thought,

which is reshaping the lips of your vagina. There's vaginoplasty, tightens or repairs the vaginal canal. There's also a clitoral hood reduction, which removes extra tissue that covers the gliterus. Which I feel is good, it makes you, you can cum easier. Yeah, yeah. Good for them.

Take the top off. Well what else does she say? Was there legal action? Well she goes on to say that sex has always been really painful for her the rest of her life and stuff because it's too tight. And she never names the guy, but it's like... He made me Asian. He has had lasting side effects. The actress and model says sex can be painful. I feel... By the way, she said can be.

Can be. So that means she's stretching. This bitch doesn't even fuck. These kind of bitches, these... This bitch don't even fuck. You kidding me? This bitch is Nike. All these women turn themselves

into corporations out here. They're not fucked. They ain't letting anybody in the door for no. These bitches. These bitches right here? These bitches naked. Shit. Shit.

That's the thing Joe Rogan, these bitches can surgery on their pussies. This bitch had a pussy tightened. That's why you have a wife and you have a hoe. And there's a difference. And the thing is you don't tighten your wife's pussy, is, you don't tie it in your wife's pussy. You make it loose. You tie in your ho's pussy.

Because you're gonna release that back to the wild, Joe Rogan. That's catch and release. Okay, so she kinda keeps trying to build a case for her, and then this redhead, you know, retch starts sympathizing. The actress and model says sex can be painful. I feel outraged, and I'm not you. and then the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy,

the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy,

the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, the other guy, fake face where the friend is pretending to be outraged for you but they're probably a little jealous you're getting attention. Oh my God, that guy showed you his penis and he didn't show me even though I was over here too. And then it's still going back to her. It's going back to her where she's going, I'm outraged, me, I am outraged. Yeah, it's still attention seeking.

But this is what Brooke Shields is doing. She does this in all her little women book clubs and stuff in Hollywood because she's pretending to be a person for the first Time because she's not a she's not a you know a flashlight they put on camera So now what's happening is she's pretending to like drink tea and go out the girls and talk about Because everybody goes around the table, right? And like she's like she's like dinner with like Reese Withpoon, and Reese Witherspoon goes, when I was 14, Harvey Weinstein cut his femoral artery in front of me and made me drink his blood while he jacked off

and called an ambulance. And then they go down the line. They play Never Have I Ever with assaults. With rape. Yeah, they go, never have I ever had my skull crushed in by Harvey Weinstein's pot. Never have I ever been raped by a guy wearing a goat mask. And then, yeah, and then, yeah, Renee's out,

we're just like, all right, come on. That one was targeted at me. So this is her, because she did a memoir, this is her biggest, is her pussy got a free surgery to be awesome. Right. He made it black. Yeah. And then Beaumar started dating her.

It would be funny if a lot of celebrities start reaching out to Brooke and they're like, Brooke, I saw the CBS interview, that's so awful. Do you wanna go out at like 7 p.m. Friday for pizza and we can talk about it? You wanna go out for drinks? How tight is it? How tight is it? Yeah.

Oh my god. Oh my god, that's awful. My friend, I know a guy that can help with that. He makes them bigger by fucking them endlessly. Oh my god, yeah, we need to, do you need help stretching it back out to normal size? I can help you with your tight pussy. We're gonna do multiple DPs tonight. And miss Shields.

Miss Shields, it would be an honor. Miss Shields. Miss Shields, it would be an honor. I do this for you. Me and my fellow practitioners would be honored to gang bang you into oblivion. I Gotta say I can't tell the difference between her and to me more because all the plastics are the same and to me more I think is very talented by the way and the substance. I thought she was amazing. This is very good in that movie

You know anyway, okay. Let's let's see what The liars have to say. Here we go. The liars. This was a long time ago. We didn't know what we could fight or complain. And to be honest, I finally had a life and kids and it was like, dear God, I don't want that kind of attention. I woke up with a tight pussy in Mark Scorsese's eyebrows.

And why are you saying something now? Because I have daughters and there's no shame around it. And the more we have those conversations with them, conversations I never had, the more progress I think we will have as a- And what's the name of this doctor? Is he still working? What's his address?

What are his working hours? A doctor that gives you free tight pussy? I mean, come on, you can see the jealousy in this one. Yeah, right here. Can we expect you back? I would love it. Shields is looking to make progress in other ways, too. In May, she was elected president of Actors' Equity Association, the union representing 51,000 actors.

When the calls dry up and they have to start being advocates for bitches they don't give a shit about. Yeah, it's horrible. You gotta hang out with ladies like that. Motel 6 bedspread, fucking blouses, and emeralds hanging from the neck. They won't shut the fuck up about the time

they had a lump removed. God damn it. Come on, we're all going to hell. This is the meanest episode we've ever done. I don't know why I'm feeling just, I'm very, you started a mean mood. I like her getting her pussy cut off without permission. We're like, what a dumb cunt.

Isn't it funny that, No, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, God, yeah. It makes it, well, I behave this way and I believe in God and stuff. That's why I'm saying in the first episode, you're sick. You say, you're like, I'm Christian. I'm Chris Ben.

She won't stop talking about love. Like, we all give a shit. All right, one of your titties looks weird, who cares? Fucking her stupid cat that she should just have killed already, it's like 23 years old. Stupid family she raised. Stupid family, her stupid kids. Stupid kids that she loved.

Stupid grandchildren. That she visits every week. She talks about how much joy they bring to her stupid fucking life. She buys them stuff and starts fucking assholes. Fucks her in college because she loves it. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck her! And you're not even the one. Fuck you, bitch! You're not even the point of the video. Fuck you! You're a random one. Fuck you, random! Fuck you, random!

You're a lady who flashed in front of us that we attacked. No fat chance! We attacked like when they show a monkey, a picture of another monkey and it loses its mind. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Yeah. I think the new series has got a great vibe to it. Every time we change we get a little hellish. Okay, well I'll say this.

We gotta close the episode here. Sure. We gotta say something nice about ladies. Devin, you wanna go first? I'll be thinking. It's like ordering at a restaurant, I'm not ready. They're capable of an emotional depth that that's true but most aren't that we can't read I think I'll tack on to that women and

it's a nightmare women are more women are more emotionally intelligent mm-hmm yes yes and it funnels goes through a sit yeah it fine it runs through like a filtration system and yet at the end you still get like dirty water Dirty hysterical water But you're doing much more work they do a lot of work emotionally with it, but at the end of the day I'm still like there's a system that you pour Fresh-spring water and you get dirty you pour fresh spring water in and you get dirty pool shit water.

So pretty acidic. But man, there's all sorts of tubes. It looks like a cold brew coffee shop. Like you're making mess. So many tubes, but you're just using that to use pressure to pump more shit in. What an emotionally healthy system you have. It's a shame the end product is hysterical.

No, they're fantastic. I mean, I don't know. Hey, you know, can't live with them, can't live without them. I don't judge based on just the whole gender. It's an independent. Well, generalizing is okay. It's a one by one basis.

I'll say, hey. One by one basis. We wouldn't have an economy without women. Women purchase 80% of all goods in fucking society. And 80% of everything in your house is useless, by the way. Oh, 100%. It should all burn. I walk through my apartment and I go,

that should burn, that should burn, that's useless. They know where everything is, but that's because they misplaced it when you had it, where you knew you wanted it initially. You're probably right about that, honestly. They always know where everything is and I can't find anything. Driving me crazy, it was cooking me to a crisp,

the red light. Dem Devon, we need to turn you red, get you off this new Lib Train you're on. No, they're, people are all aboard. I'll say this, it's actually the emotional thing. Like they're, at the end of the day they won't be, they'll send you, like at actually the emotional thing. At the end of the day, they won't be, they'll send you, like at least the listeners of this show,

usually it's the women that actually get some of the heart and they'll send you a thing, they're like, oh, they saw that, okay, cool. Whereas a guy would be like, thank God, I'm kidding, sorry. I wanna rape Brooke Shields, too. Yeah, my wife Changed me and saved me. Yeah, and then she gave me a new life by

Having our daughter which completely changed everything but she is a stupid bitch Your wife's responsible for any of us still made like sticking together. Yeah Like making it out here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Actually. Yeah like back dating back to the Eagle Rock days Oh, yeah, no good old days. Yeah Yeah, your wife was the first person who said we should start a podcast Yeah, that's true So and look what she's created. Yeah, she goes you have a lot of nice things to say about women Although your wife hates women more than you do. Yeah, dude, you know, it's crazy though what is My baby

One shot at my wife's pussy. Yeah. It's the original one-shotted. I realize this today. It's the original one-shotted. The baby? It's a bait, like, in the old days, your wife would get one-shotted by a baby. The pussy just is gone. In the old days, when they didn't have doctors to, after it rips to sew it back up. Gone. Gone. Gone.

Gone. The pussy falls off and turns to dust. You hope it grows back like a lizard's tail, but it don't and you just got a big chunky hole down there you make a men's with. You know, you stick meat in there to kind of fill it and you pretend. You gotta mush.

You gotta fucking your buddy under the stars. Under those stars you cook some beans and some cowboy coffee and you tell your buddy, you tell your buddy under the stars. Under those stars you cook some beans and some cowboy coffee and you tell your buddy, you tell your buddy Pete, you go look at them stars up there under the wide open. You go those stars never ruined my life. Like my wife's broken pussy did. Boy I tell you, we should fuck.

My wife's broken, looks like a chuck roast down there. Looks like, you remember that guy who got scowled by them Indians? Looks like his damn face. It's a hard show. They scowled the pussy? They scowled the damn pussy. What's crazy about the Native Americans

is they all shared pussy, but they didn't have, I don't know if they had STDs and stuff like that. That they, like a brother, in the middle of the night in a teepee, one Indian would come and fuck another Indian and you didn't even know who was fucking you but it didn't matter. You could kind of just sleep with your brother's wife

and you could sleep with like the, you do whatever. It was just, you just fuck. You fuck away. Crazy shit. Yeah crazy maybe And they're all gone now. They're all Lost to the plane lost to the planes that they are because of their evil ways the Indians. Yeah, they were fornicators They were able and brought it upon themselves They were all yep, they're living off the land like a bunch of damn devils.

Living in perfect harmony with nature like a bunch of damn devils. That's what's fun. This is what you get when your God is war. And so we are in the late stage empire of America right now and our God is war. And so we will soon too be dust, much like the Native Americans who we love so much. We love your casinos and your funny sounds you make. And your Martin Scorsese movie was very good. We loved your Martin Scorsese.

Yeah. That they were in. We tore a reservation, we love Killers of the Flower Man. Isn't that an interesting thing about Indians? Is that without Indians, there's no cowboys. Because it was cowboys versus Indians. Cowboys needed something to conquer and scalp and kill and conquer.

And so because of the Indian dying and their genocide, the myth of the cowboy was created. And now many men across the world to be inspired by their acts They're they're horrible acts from the years of like 1855 to 1865 or whenever the cowboy existed But I mean it's unfortunate, but we got Red Dead Redemption 2 out of it John Wayne movies we got John Ford movies

I love cowboy stick as I was kick ass. We got Django and chained, you know No, this county stuff would exist. I was weren't even like white right? They were all like Mexican Vaqueros like no there are a lot of them were white. I'm actually all of them were white Another cow is just rule cuz you could like kill a guy Yeah, no, it does kick ass and like people be like I saw yeah, that was fair. Yeah You saw yeah, he shy him No, but in my head being a cowboy is literally like you put your fucking thing in your mouth the little saddle thing and then he's Cowboys literally like you put your fucking thing in your mouth the little saddle thing and then you

Yeah, just driving through town. Maybe kill a guy like far enough away from town. Mm-hmm Figuring that one. Yeah, you could kill a guy in town and just like right away get away with it If they didn't like the guy enough they'd be like, okay speaking at Cowboys by the way, and just fucking guys that come in and just In our criminals and shit we live in LA. I heard your door. Did you hear your door open and close upstairs? No, I heard that That's what I heard. Did you I didn't hear a thing Yeah, I'm gonna check you thing. We need it. We need to end the episode anyway patron.com

Lemon party God bless everybody I swear to God I heard a door open and close unless a car parked closely And I think that's probably what you're hearing to that or my car that's parked directly outside got robbed You know, I just thought I'd uh, you know, I wouldn't say that unless I genuinely thought well I did just door-dash Brooke Shields pussy Yeah, you you open it, you're like, they forgot the pews, damn it. Then you open it, you're like, they took a sip.

Yeah. They used this. The Indian guy used it on the way. The bandage on the- The Indian guy fucked it. He used it. The bandage on the pussy's broken. I'm outraged.

The little wrap they put on the pussy so the Indian guys don't fuck it is ripped. You didn't see anything, right? No. Okay. I'm watching, I'm closest to the door, so I gotta watch myself with the perp. Well.

God bless everybody, patreon.com slash living party, as always. Much love to everybody. Thank you for listening and enjoying the show, and it's all jokes. Obviously nothing we say we mean. We're actually very good people. Except all the stuff about Brooke Shields.

We're actually very good people. So anyway, that's been the episode, guys. And in this house, we believe black lives matter. Black lives matter. And women's. Women's rights are. I'll never memorize that. Women's rights are her rights.

It doesn't rhyme, it's horrible. No, it's terribly written. Hey, no human's illegal. No human is illegal unless they come to the country illegally. Yeah, and start eating cats. Science is real. Unless they didn't do what we told them they had to do.

Love is love. It turns out science was the complete opposite of real, by the way. And science is real, so just sit down, shut up, and let Mr. Fauci experiment on you. Love is love, which I think is Namla has literally used as their motto at times. I'm not kidding.

Kindness is kindness. Meaningless is completely empty saying, what does that mean? It's a live laugh love, but for liberals who think they're geniuses. It's lib laugh love. Wow. Lib laugh love, beautiful. Put her there.

Thanks, Green. Great stuff, man. I'd rape the shit out of Brooke Shields with you, brother. Get it. Put her there, partner! Partner! Psh, psh, psh! That's some RuneTune stolen pussy partner!

Alright bye everybody. Bye! Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a spell I love was deep for this Mexican mate I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind