lemonparty - 121: I’m Ron Burgundy

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

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Why are you red? I'm like I'm like Harrison Ford Hulk and you're like Captain America. Yeah. Well, no you you guys are both right. I'm the black Captain America that killed the MCU Yeah, what is going on today? Would they hate him? Just what did he do? I think he's black and he's got weird wings and I think the movie made like $12 and he's got weird wings, and I think the movie made like $12, basically. I heard rumors that they shot that movie four times, because it sucked so hard,

that they just kept going back, and Harrison Ford just like, sure, give me another fucking 50 million, I don't give a fuck. I'm dating a once young anorexic twig. He's like a child bride. Yeah, he married. He does.

Yeah, it's very, very strange. He married Calista, the Ally McBeal lady. Calista Flockhart? Calista Flockhart, yeah. What a name. They've been married for like 20 years, but yeah, she looked like, she got so thin, like she reversed her period.

She got so thin her hymen grew back. She looks, yeah, she looks like she spends all day vomiting. Is this her, is this the bitch? Yeah, that's her. Her throat is just being fucking erased by acid. Stomach acid, just eating away. She's getting the smoker's hole,

just from so much bulimia. Poor gal. I love how shameless these guys get. Like Bill Belichick's banging like a 19-year-old. Great for him. God, it's awesome. And it's so funny. Every picture you see of them, it's some lady being like,

how dare you? And you see him with the biggest smile a man has ever had on his face. He could care less. He's a freshly sucked man. He is sticking it into tight put. Showing 48 teeth, just smiling, beaming. A lot of these guys, they have the fantasy,

where they're like, if I became a millionaire, I would never leave my wife. You know what I mean? Those guys always say that. And in a weird way, they would leave their wife for a hotter lady. And then they would. They had the opportunity.

Damn, I can't hit her, though damn I miss her I miss beating the shit out of her my new hot Russian wife can't take a punch like my old bitch she bruises she bruises it hurts my hand cuz she's so bony her legs my fat wife her leg works no good she doesn't fall right you should have seen the way Amanda could weave. Weaving Bob. A guy reminiscing about cooking breakfast for his wife and flicking bacon grease at her. Yeah.

Dipping his hands in the oil. He's thinking about her. She's long dead. That's him at the breakfast. He's reminiscing about the times he used to spray bacon grease at her. Fingering a hole in the drywall just like forlornly. Oh, that he punched through?

Yeah, that he punched through. That he punched her head through. He goes, I'll miss that bitch. Those were all the guys I saw in San Diego. Yeah, dude, same. Dude, we pulled into San Diego, I'm not kidding. We were both in San Diego at the same time, coincidentally. We pulled in and you immediately saw, I saw nine guys in a row, the flaperam hat

with the thing sewn on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The like, be American or fuck off thing. The short, the cargo shorts, and then just the flip flops, just walkin'. That was every guy. Every single guy. And they're all like, they're all mourning right now

because Bill Abong and Volcom went out of business Guys were like close to like ending it. Yeah, those guys are taking their billabong surf pick and guitar pick and they're just slicing their wrists there's guys in San Diego that have named they've named their kids billabong and Quick quick silver quick and silver get in here like white Native Americans like this was my son quick silver billabong Yeah, they went bankrupt, but the brand will continue to be sold well until that final shirt Then to that final guy who's pretending he's a marine in San Diego buys it they all look like angry birds Yeah, they all have like a really inflamed. Yeah, they all look like pigs in a slingshot. They look insane. Why are their faces all like that?

They're like, they're human, they're like, they're human California burritos. Like they have fries in them. You cut them open, fries come out. Yeah, fries come out. They come sour cream. It's such a weird comma where they're like, brother, I love, there's three things

that you need to know about me. I love surfing, marijuana, and I hate faggots. They're also like, they're like Texas. They're like down south, San Diegans. They wanna be, they wanna be south. They were on a military base for so long, they just sort of speak like that. They just got that, yeah.

They have a twang about them. I was looking for Jaco the whole time. I was like, I'm gonna find him and have him kick my ass. At the beach this morning, were like there was this guy He was in a one of those folding chairs in the sand. It was like a rocky beach, right? So I'm down there with my daughter and I look over and he has kids that are at that very annoying age where they're just Loud as shit and they suck ass like seven eight and twelve right and

He just he was staring the whole time. He wasn't on his phone or anything, he was just staring out into the ocean. And his kids are getting fucking thrown on the rocks and stuff. They're getting bashed by waves, just wrecked. Like, dadda! And the wave hit him, and they just smashed against the rocks, and the kid hit his head

and fell back in the water. And he's back there, he's just like, look, there's a shark. It's heading right for them. He never reacted. I realize that some people take their kids on vacation hoping they die. Like honey, let's take them to the ocean tonight, they might get sucked out to sea.

He was hoping one of them died. He goes, guys, check this out, this is a riptide, it'll take you all around, it's really fun. No honey, you know, get it. The tides change really quick here. Get close to the rocks, kids. At one point, I turned back, and the wife had got next to him.

She had the chair, too. And she was just smiling. And he was staring straight ahead, just watching them be tortured by nature. Yeah, meanwhile, seals are trying to save their children. Nature cares more about their kids than they do. Dolphins are trying to push the kids back in. There's a dolphin trying to get their attention.

A dolphin's dragging and the guy's throwing rocks at it, like, stop! You're fucking my shit up, man. They all have this, there's this real darkness to the beach bum type of guy. Oh yeah. Like I had this Uber driver who was in his 60s, just the classic salt and pepper. you know, big Lebowski type guy

Yeah, no white guy clean cut like he's he's really chill and relaxed and he goes. Yeah, they found a thing on my liver So he's driving and I realized he's telling me he has cancer and I'm like, okay and then he goes And then I was like, oh man, it sucks. He goes I'll tell you one man one thing man If it's all fucking darkness, I'm gonna be pissed off And I realized he's talking about dying now. He's talking about the afterlife. Oh But he's so retarded. He can't conceptualize himself not existing for his hospitals in st. Louis Like he thinks if there's nothing is that you there's a big blackness and you're just standing there in your billabong shorts being like, what the fuck?

This fucking sucks, dude. He goes, man, I've had a good life. He goes, I don't give a fuck, man. I've made peace with it. I've had my, he goes, I've had a good life. He goes, my doctor told me that I need to get on chemo. I told him, I said, hey, go fuck yourself. Really?

I'm like, what? Wow, interesting. He goes, everybody I know that's went on chemo, they all died. He goes, chemo just makes you sick. He goes, I'm not doing that fucking bullshit. I'm taking my chances. He goes, I don't even give a fuck anyway.

So then I realized he has like a death wish. Yeah, yeah. And then I'm speeding down the highway. We're driving 85 down the freeway with my wife and like. He starts saying things, like even if you don't have cancer, your life's worthless. I don't care if I take people out with me, to be honest.

He's a complete psycho. He's weaving in and out, trying to get us to the beach. Ah, it's all darkness, who gives a shit? You know what'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. These guys like a lot of the guys in San Diego they like they like live in boats and they retired from Like fucking children in Thailand like they hung up their Jersey But whatever the white devil is in Thai whatever steakhouse shirt he showed up in Thailand in he signed and they hung it up at the brothel. His Outback Steakhouse corporate polo that he got jizz on after fucking a person. He got sick of fucking kids and blowing up chimpanzees with bazookas.

And he flew back and he's in San Diego and he's gonna pass away very quietly. And burden out. Burn it out. That's why he loves the ocean, because he thinks when he dies, oh, it'll stop the fire. What's so funny is he's so like,

it's like, oh, he's like the easy going, flip flops, I drive Uber, I live in a sailboat, I don't need much, and then there's such a darkness to the. Oh yeah. The Big Lebowski Southern California lifestyle is so darn. It's the guys who go, they're like, brother, this is the way to live.

Meanwhile, they're like, if I lived any other way, I'd kill my entire office one day. I can't articulate that modern society kills me slowly. He's also, he's too okay with dying. I get accepting it, but he's like, Jesus, take me now! How old was he? Like in his mid-60s.

So he still was like, you know, there's aches and pains, but he has a good 15 years left. He is a big Lebowski guy. He's like, I had to start putting half and half in my vodka, the tumor doesn't like straight vodka. He has a name for his tumor. He has this kid near his liver or something, and he goes, yeah, I live on a sailboat.

I go, that sounds nice. He goes, does it? He goes, does it? He goes, for a guy with a wife and a kid, does that sound, I was like, no, like for you. I'm like, you have fucking, I was like, you have cancer. I'm trying to be nice. You're gonna die.

Pull over. Let me out. Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Let me out! He starts driving to Mexico. He's like, we're going to Adelitas. He goes, you and your family.

I'm gonna get you and your family some hookers. Have you seen Rolling Thunder? My daughter's been missing in Mexico for five years. We're gonna go get my daughter back. Big hook for him. I could use the backup. I was like, you're like, no, for you, not a guy with a wife and a kid.

He's like, I got a wife and a kid. I don't ever fucking see them, most likely. Yeah, I mean, he did. He did, he was old. He was old, he was like, I got a wife and a kid. I don't ever fucking see them, most likely. Yeah, I mean, he did. He did, he was old. He was old, he was like, whatever. I guess some people just get old and they're like, I don't really give a shit if I'm here, or if I wake up anymore,

which I guess is the best, it's best case, I guess. That is, you are enlightened, right? You've ascended to a higher plane if you're like, I don't care if I'm alive, but I don't know. When it seems like you've just given up, it just hits a little plane if you're like I don't care if I'm alive, but I don't know, when it seems like you've just given up, it just hits a little different, you know what I mean? Well when you're on the clock, driving a family. Well especially, no need to talk that way.

It's inappropriate. It's inappropriate. When you realize all of a sudden he's talking about the afterlife and that he's dying of cancer, and you look up from your phone, you're like what? Yeah. Like I can't. Yeah, he goes, cute baby. He goes, sad it's gonna die one day.

Nobody wants to get in an Uber with their family and realize their driver is Ghost Rider. I made a deal with the devil. Have you seen the TV show Spawn? It's such a damn flip of the coin, man. But it's also, I think there's something about those guys because when you live that life and you turn 60, what a guy like that's normally supposed to do

is you get really in at a corporation or something, and then when you're 60, your purpose on life is you're like, well, I have all these people I'm in charge of and I just have to ruin their days every single day of my life. And that's like what keeps you going. But that guy's tethered to sand and wood floating in a pier somewhere.

San Diego's just so weird. It's so weird. It's so fucking weird. I love it though, it makes me feel like I'm not, like time doesn't exist whenever I'm up there. Or down there. And you can get away with everything. It's like the 70s never ended or something.

Yeah, exactly. Everybody has money, like nobody's doing that bad. Nobody's doing, yeah, you kinda can't be doing bad. You see a couple, there is a lot of homeless people, but you're like, those people are really trying to fuck their lives up. The people doing bad are on the streets. Yeah.

But they're not like, in LA you'll see a homeless guy where you're like, well that guy could get a job if he wanted to. I'm talking about, you see a homeless guy where you're like, well that guy could get a job if he wanted to. I'm talking about, you see a homeless guy, he looks like the guy in the Holland Drive who pops out from behind the diner. He's like, God!

He stands in front of a business and people come out and put their cigarettes out on him. He's like, ah, yeah, that's how I eat. I was driving to get bagels this morning, I saw one of the guys, I'm like, should I hit him? Yeah. Am I being rude not hitting him? Is it evil to not hit him?

Yeah. This man walking around being attacked by sea lice? Yeah, this guy walking across the crosswalk and you see his legs crumbling as he's walking across, just disappearing in the dust. But you also stood the, I hate, you know it kills me to shit on white guys on this show. Sure.

It fucking kills me. Sure. Yeah. And don't worry, we'll get back to the others soon. White people, we gotta do better. We gotta do better with some of the, I see the corniest motherfuckers I've ever seen. I went to the, I went to Tiger Woods Golf Tournament.

And it just- You're talking about Tiger Woods. Tiger, why are you wearing those sunglasses? Why people, get it together. Tiger, this is an embarrassment. Tiger, can't even drunk drive like a normal person. Hey guys, it's that time again. I forgot to do the ads, so we're back in my kitchen

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box. Within 10 minutes of being there, white guy did the San Diego. Oh, Sandy. That's why people in Los Angeles take vacations in San Diego to do that voice. That's the only reason they do it. Everybody's fucking just blitzed.

Guys that look like Shane Gillis are throwing up on part three. Guys who they go to Walmart and they see the Bud White display and they start crying. Like dude, fucking Shane, dude One guy I just watched one guy throw up for two solid minutes He leaned up tiger had a merch booth where they were selling like the new Sunday red merch Yeah, and a guy was both. He looked just like Shane. He was posted up

He had sunglasses on like he's the kid in Big Daddy next no one can see him And he's squatting he has his beer and he's just going He's just throwing up between his legs And he's holding his tall boy and a little bit of it keeps spittling into the hole Oh, he's drinking his mom and Katie kept walking and I was like He thinks no one Holding on to his beer like no dude, I'm still good. Yeah Now I can see. And he's clearly holding onto his beer like,

no dude, I'm still good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I'm gonna finish. No, he goes back to his friends and he goes, second win, brother. I just had to get it down. Because he thinks he'll be in a viral video on Twitter later that day where it's like,

look at this legend, didn't even drop his beer. Never even put the drink down. Never put it down, yeah. Hitting the had to do it to him pose and throwing up at the same time. Oh, that sucks. They all have nicknames. They're all in these.

You know what I kind of realized it is? Because they all, it's all no pussy white guys. Yeah. They travel in pods. They're pods of five or six. They clearly all went to college together 12 or 13 years ago. They all have incredibly hot wives. They don't fuck anymore.

They can't fuck them anymore. They can't fuck them. Their dicks are too limp from all the suds in their body. Dude, they suck so bad. Yeah. And it's like, dude, where's Renner? Renner! Dude, Renner, we're over here!

Renner! Dude, they're like the- Dude, he's trying to get in the hole at the guy. Everyone laugh. Dude, rapey Steve just yelled mashed potatoes. They were doing this shit. Yeah. They're like the seven doors walking around. They're like, that's rapey, dopey. potatoes. They were doing this shit. Yeah, they're like the seven doors walking around.

They're like, that's rapey, dopey. They all think they're so, they think they're so fucking funny. And they're literally, I thought I was making this archetype up in my head. They were all quoting Anchorman. They're real. They live for the weekend, their lives fucking suck.

They all have veins. I'll be there one day, I'll be there. Six more months of DoorDash, I'll be there. Their face is trying to crawl off their skull. It's so puffy. It's like a manatees. It's something in an aquarium or something. They're miserable.

I live for the weekend! What do you do on the weekend? I go, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. They were. I vomit and when I get too sad, I look at Michael Scott, Jeff's on my phone. Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. Guys that love.

Screaming the vomit out. And they love Jack Reacher. Yeah. They're like, I love Jack Reacher. Dude, I love Jack Reacher, but not the Tom Cruise one. He was short and gay. I love Alan Richman is huge. I had to dock, I moved white people down a peg.

I walked away, I was like, I have to do it real quick. Who moved ahead of white people? Chinese. Yeah, that's right, that's right. I had whites up of Chinese for a bit. They also, like, a lot of those guys will wear shirts with like a middle finger on it. And you're not sure the lame,

it's like an adult Target joke, but it's like out of middle, it. And you're not sure the lame, it's like an adult target joke, but it's like out of middle, like fuck you. Yeah, it's Yoda holding up like the shocker sign. Yes, yeah. You know what I realize it is though, is like these guys are not supposed to, many of them, Jace, I think are actually like kind of single,

I think they kind of passed their prime. Meet up with the boys to quote Euro Trip. Yeah, and it's- Scottie doesn't know, man. I think group chats ruined these guys having an opportunity to build a life for themselves. So they got to be still friends with everybody they went to college or high school with,

and it stunted them, and now they're in a permanent thing of arrested development because of GIFs, GIFs, whatever, and group chats. I think that has kept them in this insular bubble since 2012. If they had done this in the 90s, they would have had to form new friendships and have lives and shit.

But instead they're still, they think, I swear, they think they're in a fraternity. And they're so fucking annoying. It's pathetic, I hate to do it to whites, I really do. But they do, they text themselves and they're like, they're all member berry people, that's what they turn, they go and they're like, dude, remember 2015 when Scotty threw up on that hooker?

That was fucking epic, so sad he died. San Diego. Which means the whales would die, right? Right, right Scott? Yeah, and then a guy goes, Saturdays are for the boys. It's the worst. Just fucking the only vitamin they have is vitamin D, just because they're just constantly in the sun.

Baked. The only thing keeping them alive. Baked. Their excessive amount of sun fueled vitamin D just because they're just constantly in the sun. Only thing keeping them alive is their excessive amount of sun-fueled vitamin D. Petrified skin. I'm so sunburnt, by the way. Yeah, you look like Trump, kind of. I'm completely red.

Nothing humbles you like the sun, because you realize there's something millions of miles away and it's doing real damage to you. It's way the fuck over there. I like it, though. I go, damn, got me again. there's something millions of miles away and it's doing real damage to you. It's way the fuck over there. I like it though. I go damn, got me again. No matter how bad people say it's bad,

I don't know, I feel great. It feels like. You like that it hurts? Yeah, I like the pain. Yeah, I like getting. It's like discipline. I love summer, I love that one day in the summer when you get way too much sun.

People always say it's really bad for you, I don't know, I wake up the next day, I feel like I look pretty good. You look like George Hamilton. Tan's great. I love getting sun sick cuz people like what's wrong? I'm like I was outside I was I was outside and it hurt. I'm red. Yeah, you hate being red. Actually. I hate I hate being fucking red I love being blue if I get too sunburned I'll drink collodial silver from Alex Jones' website to turn myself blue. By the way, whoever's listening to this,

this isn't on YouTube, I'm guessing, because we still can't post. We can post, I think. How long was the band? It was a week. It was a week, so I think there's. Tuesday, well, yeah, what constitutes a fucking week? We got it the night, we got it Monday night, didn't we?

I think so. Yeah. We found out Monday night. Because Jason texted us Monday night, didn't we? I think so. Yeah. We found out Monday night. Because Jason texted us Monday night. We should be able to upload it. We'll see. And then I'm sure they won't have a problem with this one or any of the... It's all hilarious for them to arbitrarily just...

There's like 120 more that they could... Just anything. It's my favorite thing because anytime we get reported, every single one of us is like, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. We go, I'm surprised it hasn't. The thing we got caught for was like, dude, I wanted to call YouTube myself,

and be like, guys, there's so much racism. I mean, we're talking about fucking fake tits. This is not anything for us. There's so much more insane rape. Do you think they really, they gave us a strike because I said I would draw nipples on an ass with a Sharpie and then titty fuck the ass. Like it's a boob, like it's a boob fuck.

And then we said we would eat shit out of the ass tits. Something like that, yeah, and that's what they decided against. Can we hire a lawyer to like talk about that? I don't think anyone beats YouTube. No, nobody does. They'll take fucking Logan Paul videos down. Yeah, we gotta build that back up, I think.

But we'll see. Worst comes to worst, I'll trick Elon into mailing me his cum. And putting it in your ass? I'm gonna put it in my ass. Oh yeah, isn't he drone striking E-girls with his jizz all over town? Yeah, he's just mailing his cum everywhere.

Yeah, shooting it out of a predator drone. So yeah, the big rumor is that he got a botched penile implant, that's what a lot of his lovers have said, so he can't really like fuck. So I think what he does is all these ladies that wanna basically like suck him clean, he doesn't really have the game to even talk to them, but he's insecure about his sexuality,

so he wants everybody to think that he's like not pulling out and fucking everybody, so that's why he has 13 kids. Because he mails them come and like a ship and a bottle, and then the little right wing influencer, you know, mongoloid dipshits, you know, shove the bottle up their pussy and do, I think 12 of 13 of his kids have been IVF.

So his dick's fucked up. Grimes is the only one who got his broken dick in her pussy. No, no, no, she was a surrogate. She didn't even give a... Wait, it's not even his cum? It's somebody else's cum? No, no, no, so surrogate is they took Grimes' egg,

whatever that looks like, by the way. Yeah, it probably looks like... Grimes' egg. Yeah, it looks like a... What a way to... Jesus. Grimes' egg like Grimes a yeah, it looks like What it what a way to Jesus Grimes is it Grimes is a it looks like a Bjork cover album So the new lady now is Taylor st. Claire. Yeah, Ashley st. Claire Oh, it sounds like a made-up person to grift It sounds like you made an AI to grift Republicans out of money

So Elon wanted to start talking to her by the way because she worked at the Babylon Bee. Yeah. And he loves the Babylon Bee. He goes, your memes are hecking funny. Can I mail my com to your pussy? Dude, she made bank in 2022. She wrote a children's book for like three year olds. And it's called.

Don't let that black guy near you. It's called Elephants Are Not Birds. Ah, it's about an elephant who wants to like suck elephant cock and get fucked in his elephant ass. It's about a, so an elephant, I read the plot of it. It's an elephant once met a vulture, and the elephant was very good at singing, actually. The elephant was so good at singing, in fact,

that everybody thought that the elephant must be a bird and not an elephant, actually. And then the elephant has this identity crisis and then realizes that an elephant can have traits of a bird but still be an elephant, basically. So it's an anti-trans kids book. Yeah, the elephant shot up a school. Oh, interesting.

The sea sounds really down. I think it's a publication, it's a publisher called like Base to Books or something like that. I swear to God. And it's part of a new anti-woke children's book movement. So she made a bunch of money writing that dog shit. And she was a writer on Babylon Bee and Elan,

she flew out to interview Elan, then he flew her a couple places. I think he mailed her his cum and made her shove it up her pussy and then stopped talking to her. But the way it came out was that he fucked her, right, at first, she was acting like, I have a baby with Elan Musk. And she was tweeting at him and shit.

Yeah, I bet, well he he's just he's just ignoring them He makes them well, he doesn't their comment is he loves and then he just ignores Yeah, these kids the kids to him at this point or there's human shields for him. He's like another shield Some more kevlar today. I'll wear him as I give a speech in the office taping kids to his body under his clothes We'll have a house of kids. Yeah, like the house the jack. Yeah that he's duct taping together Yeah, he's shooting through the window of it in five years when fine well no JD Vance will just win and who gives a shit but But uh

So that's the that's the new lady, but who knows there might be more ladies out there that he's just shipping come to cuz he's such a fucking fag there that he's just shipping come to because he's such a fucking We're gonna get to we're gonna put my come on Mars one day don't they have to might be a genius I don't know, but it's lame as shit that he's not even fucking the women. He's mailing come. Yeah, go on Devin Don't they have to like they can't just get the cum like an Amazon delivery and then just shove it up their pussy Right they have to like go to the dock. You can really just get it I think you can shove it in your pussy. If you keep it on ice. I think so. Yeah. Wow I mean like you put a heart in a cool. I've seen that in movies

They have like a heart in a cooler and a guy's driving it. You saw that in rat race. It's literally the movie I saw You saw it in rat race. I would love if it was the same delivery. You were about to scientifically quote rat race I was wishing they were gonna bring the heart to the Hitler Museum and put it in Hitler's corpse I would love if it was the same. You were about to scientifically quote Rat Race. I was wishing they were gonna bring the heart to the Hitler Museum and put it in Hitler's corpse. And revive Hitler. Hitler's back. They drop the cooler, the dog picks it up.

Think of Rat Race, a deleted scene where they put the heart in Hitler's corpse and he starts break dancing in all the shoes. Sure. When Mr. Bean and Newman are in the fight for the heart on ice in Rat Race, that's what I was thinking of. I was rewatching Rat Race yesterday when John Lovitz is accidentally hit where I went, based, based is Hitler.

I don't know, it's Greece. I thought he grew a Hitler mustache. Because I'm severely retarded. And I go, guys, I love Hitler. And everybody's like, yeah, everybody does. Nobody gives a shit. This literally isn't edgy anymore. I love him the most, actually.

The new children's book, Everybody Loves Hitler, replaces everybody poops. And then little Hitler tried to get into art school. Speaking of Hitler, you went to a San Diego circus? I went to an Escondido circus. I love Escondido. One of my favorite places on earth. Shout out to Flippy's.

Flippy's Pizza. Your pizza looked like shit by the way. Ben told us he was going to one of the most legendary pizza places in all of San Diego. Flippy. He sent, I immediately looked it up on Google because I just love looking up places. Sure.

The pizza looked like a dollar slice from like in Phoenix. It was the worst. It looked like clam chowder in a bread bowl is what it looked like. You guys are haters. Pull up a picture. It looked like clam chowder in a bread bowl is what it looked like. You guys are haters. Pull up a picture. It looked like, it looked like shit dude. You guys were finding the bad pictures on Yelp that were like a fat Mexican guy said on it.

Look at that. No. That's good shit. That looks like shit dude. It's like from the Goofy movie. Did they even melt it? No. It's good pizza dude.

That looks like poo poo shit. That looks terrible. Come on look at that. The pizza grotto. They can't even, they can't even. That looks like poo poo shit. That looks terrible. Come on, look at that. The pizza grotto. They can't even, they can't even. It's fun for the whole family. They're so bad at pizza, they can't cut it right. It's like fucking warped and shit.

Yeah, it's all over the place. I had leftovers today. I brought it all the way back from San Diego. Was it really good or what are we talking? Cause it looks really like bad food. They have the domain realcheesepizza.com. Would it not be real? Yeah.

Look, look at their history. Rich history. Look, the- Well, I noticed, look at their history, rich history. Look, the... Oh, they're in the mob? Vincent the Flippy and Madeline the Flippy. Look, they met in Dimes Square, France. It's been a staple since 1947. This is one of the...

And the locals love it, and we all know they have the excellent, most excellent day. Yeah, look at all those Italian families enjoying the meal. Wait, it was that guy with Downsend, right? Dime Square, France. They vocal fry their calamari there. It was funny, you were like, those pictures aren't,

that isn't what they look like, and then you sent us a picture that looked like the exact same picture. Wow, they have a lot of locations. I told everyone how good it was gonna be and my in-laws were with me and they took one bite, they go, it's good. And everyone looked down the rest of the trip.

Even they hated it. They hated it, they didn't have the heart to tell me. It looked so stupid. It looked so bad. You know what's funny? Everyone hated me actually the rest of the trip. Not only because I was like violently ill and still went on the trip.

Hanging out with them. So I could get the pizza. Yeah. Getting everyone sick. Yeah, I'm violently ill. still went on the trip so I could get the pizza. Yeah. Getting everyone sick. Yeah, I'm violently ill. Your daughter's trying to run away from you. Is she trying to join one of the Navy SEAL families?

I felt better once I got sunburned. Yeah, it killed it. It killed it, actually. Baked it out of you. I got microwaved. Yeah. And it went away I Was violently ill for like four days awful

Yeah, well everyone's gotten I had some movies and I got sunburned It's the it's the closest pizza there is to the extremely goofy movie. You know the extremely The cheese just keeps going off this leaning tower of cheese. Sure Polly sure is a dog You fucked a bunch of dogs at the Comedy Store. Is that pizza? Yeah keeps going off the slice. The leaning tower of Cheez-A. Sure, Polly Shore's a dog. He fucked a bunch of dogs at the Comedy Store. It's that pizza. Yeah, it's that pizza. It's the Polly Shore dog pizza.

Just like Mama Italy used to make, the Polly Shore dog pizza. I get it. You wanted to go there because it looks like it's like an old classic Italian looking place. Yeah. The interior, oh, the ambiance is amazing. But the food is made by sunburned dipshits that don't even know what Italy is.

Guys who are too retarded to join the military in San Diego. When I was sitting in the car with my daughter waiting for them to get the check and everything, she was ready to go, so I put her in, I sat, and then I was like, I'm sitting there all quiet, I have a moment to myself, I'm like, fuck Devon and Jace. They don't know what pizza's fucking good. And then I see this three guys getting ready I was like, I'm sitting there all quiet. I have a moment to myself, I'm like, fuck Devon and Jace. They don't know what pizza's fucking good.

And then I see this three guys get out of their car. And it's like a 65 year old, 450 pound guy with a cane. He's like, David Wells get out of his car. I saw the elephant man get out of a Toyota Tacoma. Pepperoni! I saw. Pepperoni. Pepperoni.

His fucking wife, his fucking wife got out and she like looked at me, she was like a witch from Macbeth and she turned around, she had a bald spot on her back. She was fucking bald. You saw one of the ants from War to the Reins. You saw a tree beard walking around? I'd like to get the french fry pizza, please. I saw monsters walk, and then their fat fucking

55 year old son was following behind them. A 380 pound chumlee with purple hair was walking behind him. I'm like fuck, I'm fucked. He looked like the CEO from Monsters Inc. Walking into the pizza place. Completely fucked. Yeah, no it's fine. It was just monsters in there, unfortunately.

I went to a random pizza place, just called East Coast Pizza, and it was like way better than anything that you got. I couldn't fathom what Ben was talking about when I looked at the pictures. Yeah, but I showed you the photo. It looks like uncooked pizza. Yeah, and it's literally,

somebody cut it by going like that with a big lobster claw, with a thalidomide flipper. Somebody with a fucking muscle disease slices it. A muscle disease. Somebody with no arms put a pizza cutter in their mouth. There's a guy with ALS slicing it with his mouth. Here's your pizza. Setting it on top of your baby. That cheese was not cooked. Here's your pizza!

Setting it on top of your baby. That cheese was not cooked. You guys are just haters. It was really cheesy. It looked like French onion soup. It was cooked later when I put it in my microwave. I ate it today, proudly. It was actually bad, right? No, it was actually some of the best.

It's so bad, instead of an oven, they have a big microwave that they stick a wooden paddle in. Did you see the picture of the Andy Pasta that I sent? Yes, dude, the Andy Pasta. They're giant chunks of cold broccoli in it. The Andy Pasta, it looked like pig food that you throw in a trough. It looked like you yelled, suey.

Come on, it's Flippies. It was like for rabbits. Yeah, when Flippies threw the food at you, did they ring a big dinner bell and a bunch of bigs ran up? It's called Flippies because all the waitresses have flippers. Yeah. They don't have thick lips like this. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Yeah, they go home to their husband, who's a seal. They get raped. In Dana Point. They get raped by a seal. Back to Dana Point to get raped by my seal husband. Or, or. Yeah, you guys won that one. Yeah, fuck San Diego.

You guys got me on that. I've been looking for, I wanted to eat that pizza again for 10 years, I had it drunk once when I was 21, I was like hammered. Yeah, that's the problem. That's the fantasizing about it. You thought about it, yeah. Yeah, it didn't live up to the well 1954 you go okay but then you know

look that's these is a yeah I mean it's the best pizza in Temecula and Poe way yeah Napa yeah but the Chula Vista they only operate in the most retarded cities in all of California scripts Scripps Ranch. Scripps. Whatever that is. Yeah. Kearney Mesa. Kearney Mesa, which is a made up place where they just throw homeless people. No, I think Lightning McQueen goes there in cars too.

Yeah. He goes to Radiator Springs. Yeah, Radiator Springs. And then he goes to Scripps Ranch. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that sucked ass, man. Yeah, terrible looking game. Yeah, well, I mean, look, you,

I liked it, I had fun, no one else did. My daughter loved it. She took a couple bites and then started doing this. So she approved. It was the cheese, it was cheese. Yeah, it was cheese, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really cheese, she loves cheese. It was melted string cheese on a bread. Yeah, your daughter's like, this looks like the pea goop

that you feed me out of tubes. But meanwhile, Jace, Jace was the star of the circus, which is very funny. I was the star of the circus. It sounds like a dis. I guess, I thought it was beautiful. I actually, I killed it. I got voluntarily picked to perform at the circus.

Jace drove two and a half hours to go to the circus, by the way. For the peanuts. Yeah, for the peanuts, yeah. I actually fucked one of the elephants I Bear I bear back fucked an elephant No, they the the little clown guy. He picked me to do a bit Got I'm gonna say big laughs in the arena. I threw it on the I threw it on the stories You saw big laughs look like big laughs, and I go I go you know what I'm doing stand up again

Me and I was like I can't watch this I am ashamed My own brother at the circus. The person running it. While you're eating pizza with a spoon out of a bowl. Like it's cereal. Yeah. Hey guys if you're trying to look good in the winter without freezing to death you need bird dogs. Bird dogs keep you warm without all of those bulky layers. Their classic quarter zips are the perfect middle ground between trusty and casual. And you can check out their stretchy khakis for a pant that looks sharp

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The person running the circus looked like like a Seth Green Character yeah, he was dressed like a sum 41 guy. Yeah, and that was the I read I The bit was like he was being all feminine with me, and I was just like I don't care And I just like pretended. I was about to fuck the ass and then people were dying. Laughing at that. Did they make the elephants walk on their iron legs? It was a non-animal circus. Cause my girlfriend is gay, so we went to a non-animal circus.

So it's the P, it's just humans. It's just humans, just in a cage, rolling around. Thrashing. It's also something I'm so- Someone's getting locked up. I'm so retarded, anytime the minute the motorcycles come out I go, dude, fucking place beyond the pines. Oh, I didn't know, yeah, I saw that, they do that.

They had four, four motorcycles in the sphere. I hate to inform you, but you went to the fair. You did not go to the circus. No, there was a big tent and everything. No animals, there's not a circus. There was a black guy with a, there was a black guy who looked like Magic Johnson's son with a big top hat, he was the ringleader.

He came out and I go, seems like a DEI circus, I don't care for that. Jay-Z, you went to Circuit City. The last one, traveling Circuit City. And then the clowns came out and I go, hey, looks like Congress to me. Looks like all these guys in Washington, D.C. could get a job. I don't do things like that.

I don't do enough things like that. It was fun, I mean, I could shit on it, but it was genuinely fun. It looked fun. It looked cool. Devin doesn't do anything, that. I don't do enough things. It was fun. I mean, I could shit on it, but it was genuinely fun. It looks cool. Devin doesn't do anything. He mounted a big TV up there, and you could tell his life's over. I'm done now.

Oh, he mounted it? He's carving his epitaph into the back of the TV. Like, here lies Devin Tata. Yarmul's is leaving in like a week, and I was like, I wanna get a big TV. If I don't get one, I won't know how to mount it. So I was like, Yarm, you to go to fucking Best Buy with me? Yeah. You're almost just making a new foundation for your house.

It looks amazing. I'm done. I'm finished. Yeah, it's huge. You're done. You're absolutely. It looks like a pool. I can jump in. No, we're going to come back next week. It's going to be like seven. You die in front of the TV. I truly don't care about anything anymore. You're fucked Are you you putting on club random and then pulling the TV out three inches from your face?

Is it like is it like Joey's where it's on a big arm and you can pull it to I can do whatever I want I could get it right in front of my face While I'm on the couch It's like an inspector gadget TV on the couch. Love it. It's like an Inspector Gadget TV. But yeah, no, the last, what is the, you know, about like eight years ago,

I went to a pole dancing competition in Hawthorne. That was weird and fun. That's fun. We should go to that. It was at like a store, you watch these people dance in like, side of storage containers. Like, you went to like a public storage, there are people eating like chicken and waffles

out of like styrofoam boxes, and just watching like women basically twerk, but like there was an art to it, so it wasn't stripping or something. And that was interesting. That was the last weird thing I did actually. I don't go to events. Well, we went to London.

Well, yeah, but we saw the globe. Yeah, but we didn't like go to anything. We didn't go we couldn't even get into the play at the globe Yeah, yeah, but that's also Devon doesn't he was there for work. That wasn't a voluntary Yeah, I didn't just go to London to like look around. Yeah that actually opened my eyes a little bit There are other places I should go. Yeah It took yeah, and they give credit to me I spent 13 years going like I'm not going outside because I can't jack off there And now I have my girlfriend was with me so now she's literally like can you stop jacking off for one day?

So we can go to the circus. I'm like fine Then I get there. I'm like wow that's beautiful actually That's wonderful, and then I saw the motorcycle one of the motorcycle guys took his helm helmet off And he was 55 years old and that just made me kind of sad thinking about him. But other than that, it was cool. I bet his life rules. Yeah, but he's like the wrestler pussy. But he's like the wrestler pussy.

Just fucking gross with them, eh? Fucking groupies in the ass in the bathroom in the porta potties that they set up. We love you, Ram. He actually looks at you and pities you. He goes, look at these fucking losers coming to my show. He goes, look at this guy, he's so excited for what I get every fucking night.

He thinks he's gonna get pussy because he did well for the chocrop. Your girlfriend fucked him after and you didn't even know. He rubbed the motorcycle on her pussy. Instead of burnout. You get a laugh at the circus and you break up with your girlfriend.

Ah! Hey, Excelsior bitch. Up, up and away But even like little things like I don't know like I Somebody's in my life said they went to medieval times lately or recently and I was like I should Yeah, I want to go to medieval times in 20 years. I've never been You never gone anywhere. You know, you'll never do anything. Why you'll never do Devon. You'll never do anything

You've what will you do? You don't know what I got a plan talking shit. You don't know what I have up my sleeve You want to know what it what it is what killing you It's a gun. I'm gonna slide out like taxi driver and kill you now. I got fucking dreams. The only thing you got up your sleeves is a shirt Really good What I'm sorry facing oh and pointing at you very good because I haven't done so I face this episode Oh, that's right. That's right. I love this setup Feels like the old days. It's very good. I don't even care anymore. Yeah, no. Devin, here's the thing.

You're never gonna do anything. And that's why I love you. Oh, I love you too. Cause you'll never do anything. Cause despite all the things you do still means nothing. Yeah. I'm just spinning a big wheel in my home. I'm a hamster running in a big plastic wheel.

Generating, it's not hooked up to anything. You even in adulthood, having kids, a wife, a home, keeping up with everything, it still feels like a precocious kid. The parents go, go put your outfit on and show the dinner guests you pretended to be an adult. It's great how pretty much no one gives me credit for anything.

No. It rules. Yeah, somehow you've managed. I have a kid and people are like, I can't believe you have a kid. People do treat you like forescout. I'm like, what? Yeah.

Am I retarded? Well, people can't. People come up, they go, I can't believe you have a house. I'm like, I rent. They're like, is that, I'm like, is that that hard? People have a hard time. They go, yes.

Yeah. My life sucks. I can't believe you have, how you have a car? Most people have a hard time separating I'm like I rent like is that I'm like is that that hard people are yes. Yeah How you have a car most people have a hard time separating the thoughts and actions and words and life from the man Well, I'm not like mr. Bean or something You look good too in that shirt Faddish it on the vandal sure I thought you were losing weight and actually look like I thought you'd look a lot fatter. That's flippies. It's it's low carb. It's a little Cuz you just eat the cheese Real bread. Yeah, it's actually keto. Yeah, it's it's technically wood shavings

They formed in the bread with a little bit of water Will and Don were pissing me off. They fucking, they went around Japan and just like, they just fucking pissed me off so much. You know where they fucking ate? Where? In Japan. You know where they ate dinner? Was there a second video?

In Tokyo. The Apple Home we watched. They left Disneyland and they went to their hotel and they're like, alright, we're gonna have our first big dinner out in Japan. They went to fucking Denny's. Yeah, that ain't great. You don't eat Denny's in America. They might've been kicked out of every other place.

So like, if I was a Japanese person, they're like, no, no, no. This is utter embarrassment. Our restaurants are made out of wood and paper. You can't come in here. It's like black people trying to find a restaurant in the 50s. Like no one will serve them.

They keep getting kicked out. Cause Will and Don are literally walking through the paper walls just like fucking Roger Rabbit. In Japan, no fat retards allowed. They're gonna leave the civil rights movement in Japan for fat, disgusting rights. Everybody in Japan thinks they're marketing for the new H movement in Japan for fat disgusting rights people. Everybody in Japan thinks they're marketing for the new Hayao Miyazaki movie.

They're like, oh, what weird fucked up creature are you? Will keeps filming himself walk across the street. He's running into little Japanese people. They're all staring at him. Like, look at this gross fucked up right there. My neighbor Totoro, oh! They hate him. They hate him. They hate him.

And he goes, my friend told me, he goes to every convenience store in Japan, and he keeps stopping at all the 7-Elevens, and he gets the fried chicken. It's like six in the morning, he's eating fried chicken outside of 7-Eleven in Tokyo. It's like Tom's to him. Yeah.

It's an an-ass. It's an antacid. He unpacks his bag and there's a big pill bottle which is full of fried chicken that he unscrews. Doc says I gotta take two every hour with food. It's the problem with like, having like, if you're a fat retard and all your friends are fat retards, you all take each other's advice.

He goes, my friend told me if I go to Japan, everywhere I go I gotta try their gas station fried chicken. So here I am at 7-Eleven, he just keeps eating fried chicken. My friend told me, and it's the worst advice, but he goes, my friend told me, whatever you do, don't get sushi in Japan. Dude, they don't eat sushi!

They don't get sushi! He goes, my friend, horror story, my friend went to get sushi, they had no cream cheese for the rolls. They don't got any. They don't get sushi. He goes, my friend, horror story, my friend went to get sushi. They had no cream cheese for the rolls. They don't got any Philadelphia rolls out here, Don. They got all this fucking squid shit. Yeah. Oh, it just starts punching.

Yeah, it just starts punching. What the hell? Yeah, ripping the hibachi table out of the fucking wall. What the hell is nigiri? I was told none of those people were here. Fucking Nagiris. Fucking Nagiris. Stealing all our jabs.

Yeah, they stayed in Japan like a few extra days to like prove that they like didn't just go for it. That's been in my mouth, don't put that in my mouth. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah. Devin just touched a Swedish zen. You touched the wet one. That's been in my mouth, don't put that in your mouth. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah. Ah, ah, ah. Devin just touched a Swedish Zin. You touched the wet one. Ah.

Absolutely disgusting. I did order, I special ordered Swedish Zins from Sweden. Don't like that one bit. That have Swedish on the side of them. Yeah. One time, Devin has spit in my water bottle on planes. I've done it to Connor too, on the tours. And I take a drink from it and I drink his spit.

What are you putting, dip in? No, okay, these retards, you know, the Ben and Connor too on the tours. And I take a drink from it and I drink his spit. What are you putting dip in? No, okay, these retards, Ben and Connor, the whole tours, they love milking a sparkling water for 17 hours straight. So it's finally at the very, it looks- That's not what I do. Yes, you do. You stupid bitch. By the way, you're the only guy that I just bring around

his big jug of water like you're an athlete or something. Just get a water when you need one. What are you talking about bitch? What the fuck do you even mean? You gotta do something for the culture. You don't even listen to music. You're one of those sociopaths that doesn't even know music. Fucking sociopath.

You literally like, you listen to Mozart once in a while, like a maniac. Ben goes to the Aeropostale, he goes, what good vinyl do you have here, sir? Adele 21, never heard of this. So the trip, it's like the same La Croix that I've seen for hours on end. It's at the bottom and I take my zen out

and I'd put it in that and then they would like wake up from a nap three hours later and like go for it. They'd be like, oh, what'd you do? And I'm like, oh, well, I'm sorry. Do you put it back in front of them when you put the zen in? Well, it just, it's designated trash to me. It's a can.

I gotta say, that's a little insane. Is it crazy? To put it back in front of them is a little, you gotta take it and put it in a pocket somewhere. Yeah, I mean we're on flights What do I do you got to wait for the ladies to come get it? I could put it in I don't know I don't even remember the one I did with that you're a fucking asshole. No, I'm not You're you're a fucking ass. Well, at least I listen to people when they speak You're constantly in another world with me. You don't even listen to me. And I'm tired enough to say it.

He's not listening to you right now? Look at that. He's doing it right now. What am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know, it's fine. So I'm trying to pull up something. You're trying to watch the SNL 50th anniversary concert?

Oh yeah. I actually have something more cringe that might make you both kill yourself. This thing sucked so much ass it didn't even go viral, which is why I'm showing it to you guys. Okay, this thing pissed me the fuck off, like you wouldn't believe. And I actually thought this shit was over with Trump.

Have you guys seen this? No, I have not. I don't know who this person is. What is this? And it's set to the Wicked soundtrack, I believe. Jace, you're gonna have to confirm with me being the soy. The resident fag. It is.

Will this get copyrighted with the Wicked stuff? It might actually, yeah. Okay, let me put it low. Yeah, can you put it low and then, oh, can we read the thing for the people listening? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll start it over. So it's a guy who looks like a gay little twink. Nope, nope, Jace already wrong.

Wrong? It is literally a trans, it's a trans woman. That's one of the good ones. So it's a trans. It's like one of the trans that they started them earlier. It's male to female trans or female to male? No, that's female to male. The divorce to my kid's dad was finalized in 2019.

Okay, okay. I came out trans in 2018, the divorce to my kid's dad was finalized in 2019. And. Okay. I came out trans in 2018 The divorce to my kids dad was finalized in 20 and she's sipping tea like a like a retard Well, she's doing like the Chuck Windig. Yeah, man. You became a parent. I was divorcing a vulnerable narcissist He turned his venom and attacks to his trans daughter. Okay, that's right. I Navigated the Colorado Family Court to get her to safety. He was annihilating her. Now they're making a face like they're gonna fuck him up. He wanted to fight, so he got one.

He tried to fight with authenticity, identity, which was a huge problem for him. This sucks my ass. He lost all parenting time, decision-making rights, assets to medical records, assets to participating in her life without her consent. I'm confused. So Devon, let me explain this. I feel like her words are trans too.

She switched the he's to she. No identity to any sentence either. To me, you guys didn't get it, but that thing's unbearable to me. I wanna kill that person. So what happened was basically She came out as changed a man the husband's like hey, I don't want to fuck a guy or whatever And then he's like okay weird. She's like weird. Okay. Anyway, I'm gonna go cut your son's dick off He's like I don't care for that. She's like, okay. Well, I'm taking your kid away from you

So then she made to get full custody. She made their kid trans. Yeah Well, that's what they said this kid and I mean mean, trans people, there's one in every billion. So like, mom and son, both trans. That's like one of those movies you watch on a flight. Yeah. One of those Steve Zahn movies. There's so many trans kid movies on flights. I know.

We talked about it before, but it's true. There's others. There's more. There's more. They never stop. There's so many trans kid movies on flights. We've talked about it before, but it's true. There's others, there's more. There's more. They never stop. There's tons. There's always a movie where Ben Foster's like, you're not fucking cutting my kid's dick off. Sometimes I feel like the whole thing is like,

you don't even want to be a man, you just want to be a fucking asshole. You want to get like asshole surgery. Like you're just being a dick. The western sky. And then she's like, And if you can't find me look to the trends gonna go on something cutting my son's dick off Yes, all this stuff like empowers them You're like upset that your husband didn't want to like bang you when you fucking you got you turned into Todd from Breaking Bad

My husband won't let me shoot a little kid on a dirt bike It doesn't like a guy from like X Games in like 2004 Yeah You got Bucky Lasek surgery and now you're upset that your husband was banging a woman and is doesn't want to bang you anymore He's like, I'm sorry. I don't want to like suck off your weird pulled out penis pussy. What the hell's a vulnerable narcissist? Yeah, like the words don't even add. What the hell's a vulnerable narcissist? The words don't even, the adjectives don't. A vulnerable narcissist?

A vulnerable narcissist is someone who's getting upset at you when you're being wildly inappropriate. In the wrong. And in the wrong and gaslighting people. What's a vulnerable, like? It's a look at her, she's projecting completely. She's making Pixar face. That she learned emotions from Pixar characters. By the way, she's projecting completely. She's making Pixar face. She learned emotions from Pixar characters.

She's saying I'm not a narcissist, I'm gonna make a cup of fake coffee that I can sip cuntily during my video about how my husband's a piece of shit. Well, he's gloating about taking away his only son. What is authenticity identity? He tried to fight with authenticity. This is like, it's like piracy.

They have like rule. It's like weird. I feel like it's like you're torrenting a person. Yeah, this is my son, Kyle.xpf. You downloaded your husband off Limewire? Yeah, how many Cedars does the kid have? This shit, it's like, it really like, I can't even make it to the end of the video Yeah, that's pretty brutal. He wanted especially with that. I hate that fucking wicked song

I see a lot of this. I know you like it and everyone loves I gotta say I've seen a lot of really good trans people Lately, yeah, I have not what we're like. I didn't know that though. They're good at being there I'm like damn that I thought that was a guy Yeah, like that's a guy like you won They're tightening the lot of black dudes or black women that like became trans early or what? I don't know. They have like amazing surgeons or something happened and there I swear to God I couldn't tell like they looked totally like I also think the way but would you they look like RNs to me? Huh, they look like YNs I go I go man this YN living and then I find out it's a it's a it's a woman

I was stroking my yeah, they go. I'm an X Y in Look I think it's easier for them the woman to go to the man though Because usually the woman is gonna do that is already kind of butchie. Yeah, right those ones. Yeah Yeah, wait, would you have sex with a trans black woman? No, I'm talking about woman to man, like stud. Like it's kind of like, it's like already was like a stud. Oh, so you are gay as shit, because you're looking at a girl who became a guy

and you're like, hell yeah. I love that that girl's a dude now actually, because now I can stroke my shit. No, in my mind, I'm like, man they can- Baby, I'm thinking about you being a man. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, motherfucker. What I'm thinking is like, yo, you could hop in the Cypher. Okay, Young Blood.

Oh, is the Cypher like the, is that like the recording studio? We just kicking it, flipping it, ripping it, dipping it. Oh, that was Drake's line. That was really good. What? That was a Drake line from his new album. Was that? He's like, rippin' it, flippin' it, skippin' it.

Mm-hmm, rapin' it. All the songs on his new album, it's called like, Dogs Balls and like, Mommy Need a Hug. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I have no idea what any of these... Yeah, his songs are like, they're all like, ooh-ooh stuff where he's like, I can, has rapes. Ooh. He's like, how can I molest a girl when I'm a little girl?

Can you explain to how Drake has actually had a comeback and Kendrick is like lame and cringe now? That's not, it's not true. It's just from his fan base. Drake has like the mall, like you know. Yeah, I also think. White's on X. If you want to, if you like,

if you think music is like what's playing while you're in line at Uni-Glo, then you like Drake and you defend him to the death. But if you like things with substance that make you feel any type of way. But yeah, Drake is for guys that they don't even speak to unless they're like, the motherfucker don't even get bitches.

Y'all don't get bitches like me. I saw guys defending Drake being like, y'all don't understand the principle me. I saw guys defending Drake being like, y'all don't understand the principle of bitches. Like the bitches principle. Yeah, it's that shit. They're breaking down like getting pussy, like, equitably. All you need to know is that all of Drake's, all of his biggest fans and the people that promote him

are these streamers. These guys that were deprived of oxygen and they sit in front of them, they can't read, and they go, this motherfucker back! Yo, bro! They just say bro every sentence. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro! Aiden Ross is like, this shit stinky like my diaper.

Shit. Drake's stinky on this verse, like my little asshole. Shit. So that's all like my little asshole. Shit. So that's all you need to know. Yeah. Also people, also people- White Twitter hates Kendrick, and I guess they love Drake, I think that's the thing. White Twitter?

Yeah, and like the Mar-a-Lago crowd, they all love Drake now and they hate Kendrick. Well, just cause they think Kendrick, Kendrick wasn't even doing like a racial, political thing. They just don't know what his last year was. They don't even understand that that was for Kendrick. That was for people that loved the last year he had and are in the know.

So he gave people a personal performance on the biggest stage. But unfortunately there's a bunch of other idiots watching but he didn't care about them. And so they all needed to make it political immediately afterwards and it wasn't political. I think it was literally just that there was a black Uncle Sam, that's what they were mad about.

But I don't think it was that, it was just, it's Sam Jackson, that's it. Yeah, I don't know. All I know is that if you were following his last year and you care and you like his music and you've been a fan of his for a while, that was great for you. But it wasn't for, you know, yeah, I understand that Matt Walsh didn't get it. Yeah. Whatever.

Matt Walsh, he was complaining about the Super Bowl and somebody quotes him with every year going back to like 2007, he's like, worst woke Super Bowl of all time. He does it every year. People are like, what is your life, man? Every year. What is your fucking life? He complains about every Super Bowl halftime show is like, it's all DEI.

It's always bad. They're gay fags. They love talent shows. So they love the Super Bowl. They live for the Super Bowl halftime show. They don't give a shit about the football. Matt Walsh sits there with his little thumb as soon as it starts and he just starts.

Which is cause he's like a gay emperor. Yeah. Yeah he is. He's a big guy. I don't even want to get into a play. Every time he sees a a gay emperor. Yeah. Yeah, he is. He's a big gay emperor. I don't even want to get into a political thing. Every time he sees a fat ass that goes down. It wasn't political. It's just, you're not.

Hey, he was calling Drake a pedophile, that was it. You just don't care. You're not in the know. You don't even. That was all it was. You're not in the culture. Hey, but I bought yay merch and so did you. And that's on God.

I did buy easy merch. Yeah, you bought the H. Like a week before he started posting swastikas. You bought the HH1. So I bought it before too and I accidentally put the wrong address, I did buy easy merch a week before he started posting swastika. You bought the HH1? So I bought it before too and I accidentally put the wrong address so I had to cancel and then he started posting the swastika shirt so I'm like well I'm still gonna put my order in.

You're like I got the store credit. I actually care so little about what he did that I looked at it and I go my order's not canceled right? Cause then I like Shopify ended it. I think it'll still come. I got the black. That's so funny. He used Shopify I got the black iron eagle one and then I realized I was like, oh fuck I thought it looked cool and I'm like, that's the Nazi. Yeah, but I'm still gonna wear it to the gym and see what happens See if anybody gives a shit. Sure. Why not? I didn't show up at the gym,

there's going to be a guy in a full SS uniform on the treadmill. Yeah. Running really fast. Running like sprinting like the fucking Terminator 2. Like with the arms to the side. Yeah, he has a TV mounted behind him with a black guy on the screen. Yeah, he just has a black guy on his phone. He's going, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Running as fast as he can.

As fast, up to fucking 12 on the machine. He's running away from a black guy and towards a black guy. Yeah, yeah, he's got phone behind him, big black guy, phone in front of him, tiny black guy. Cause he's in the distance. Yeah, yeah. He's far away from him. He's gotta get to that tiny black guy.

Yeah, nobody cares. Literally everybody's a Nazi.. He's got to get to that tiny black guy. Yeah, nobody cares Everybody's not my grandma's a Nazi man. Everybody's a Nazi Everybody's you'll call your grandma, but she'll just be like hell Everybody's like oh what Trump won hell hitler fuck you I Do I do think the Drake shit by the way is also a lot of bot shit I'm assuming he has like massage like Brian singer used to have I mean all the streamers are promoting content Drake is like not even really an artist. He's a like a he's like a content creator at this point Yeah, he's like an influencer. So he all those guys. Yeah have like a direct line to him

He's doing conscious in that bullet hole So yeah, which is what a statement man Hey, you lost horribly and everyone shot you. Yeah, he's like, watch it, I walk out with Dudu on my ass. Yeah, he had to have his first concert in Australia. So he had to travel to the future to be liked. We haven't seen it yet, mate. It's 12 hours behind. No, we like you a day ahead.

No, we love Perez down here, mate. And we love you a day ahead. No, we love pedos down here, man We love you black bastard Obvious like that. It's embarrassing. He's embarrassing Drake's embarrassing. Yeah, he's embarrassed Yeah, fuck him fuck and fuck Zionists and fuck Drake and That's my new motto. Rest in power to my friends. I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah, you got some good, who's the guy we all hate that looks retarded? The Jewish guy.

Oh, yeah, we can get into a little Gellman stuff on Patreon. You got some good Gellman trolling going this week. Well, I kind of have a theory that he is out to get me right now, because we got the channel strike and I got sunburn. Yeah, so I think he controlled the weather To make me he turned us on. Yeah, he goes make San Diego really hot He got me there yeah part of the clouds mm-hmm to make me red he goesrey Pines, make it turn the shit up. He made me sick where I wasn't able to stream on Wednesday,

but I am making it up for the people I'm having John Colon on and John Knopf, we're going to talk about Mandalay Bay. OK, great, love that. And he changed your Yelp review to make Philippe's pizza look good. Yeah, he did. He fucked with me. He fucked with my order.

But most importantly, he gave us a strike to our YouTube channel, so I'm only gonna talk about him on the Patreon. But he's launching a new podcast with his beautiful wife. That wasn't the one that we saw. His wife wasn't on it, the one we saw. That clip going around. The one I shared with that guy.

The one with the Jewish lollipop that you shared. The guy that, it literally, it's like, it's the guy that looked like just Jewish propaganda. Yeah, yeah. That guy looked like if, like he saw like- You knew that guy. I met him once, yeah, and he was, I didn't know. How do you know that guy?

He just showed up at one of your guys' shows. Wait, the- My show? The lollipop one? So he's doing, so that guy is doing work. No, it wasn't- He's spying on us, Brett is sending spies. No, it wasn't cringe, it was the MKM, it was when we were at the other place and it was just Connors.

We did a live lemon party? It was before the live lemon party. Oh, okay. But it was at one of the like, hate watchy. But was I there? Maybe. And I met him. I can't remember, you came to most of those shows.

I bet you put a tracker on my car. He was like totally normal, I was like, I don't know. I thought he was Paul Rust for most of the night. But he's in the Massad. I had no idea he was spending his time doing that. That he was like the, yes boss! To like Brett Gellman. This podcast is called Ari Gold,

Ari Gold Stars. And by the way, I wanna- It's called Ari Gold Stars? Ari Gold's stars of some bullshit Oh the head the head of it. Yeah, it's called a star David with David with Ari Gold That's what it's called with our and I want to warn everybody right now about the jump scare Yeah, before we get into this. This is a fun one. By the way, this is a podcast with 500 views that I dug up here from a month ago. I'm worried about the future of the Jewish people. I'm worried about the future of Israel.

I'm worried about the future of the United States. Just like what is going on everywhere? Jesus Christ! Yeah, I mean that's the one thing. When you post this I go, I talked to that guy for like an Hour was car guy on the right the guy Yeah The guy the polean dynamite the Jewish version of like it's like the same as if it was a Mexican guy in a sombrero

Taking a nap going like hey, I'm sleep. Yeah, it's fucking Cousin from South Park Oh my god, we got to do the podcast today I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, That day his hair looks like Africa. He's a weird looking guy What's going on I really just like yeah, I mean that's the one thing you go to Israel I feel like I talked to Israelis and they're in a fucking war zone. They're keeping it together. They're keeping it positive. Yes This is like he's he literally has brain damage. Look at this here.

Right, why isn't Iran the biggest problem? He looks like Israel to him is like his favorite, his- This guy? No, no, no, no. You talking about this guy or Brad? Gellman, Gellman, it feels like he thinks Israel is just like his favorite EDM-like festival and they're at war. I think that's, I'm doing a little digging on this.

I have a guy who's digging through their papers and everything and I'm finding out a lot about how he met this lady. His wife. I might have, I kinda have an informant guy who's looked into their records and he's paid money and stuff. I might have him come on the livestream,

we'll talk about how they met, and there's a lot of old podcasts that have been taken down with this guy in archive and the whole past with him. I think they met at like a rave doing like, allegedly. I'm scared to talk about these people, because I know Brett has eyes on me and he's launching a new podcast right now and he's trying to get rid of Lemonbrite.

Brett, he's looking for the Jewish fucking, like OJ Simpson special team to bring you down. They're going to raves, getting high, like licking Palestinian babies, like fucking poisonous toads. Stick picking a pacifier out of a Palestinian baby's mouth and putting it in. Putting little sticks in Palestinian babies

and then sucking. They think they're venomous. Putting little sticks in Palestinian babies and then sucking, they think they're venomous. So creepy. So creepy. He's a creepy fuck and I don't know how I'm gonna bring him down. You know, he doesn't have any fans.

He goes on podcasts and it gets like 500 views. Like no one actually cares, but thankfully, you know, the guys in the suits with the last names, they put him in stuff constantly. No one actually seems to be like a Brett Gellman fan, so to speak. People in the YouTube comments and stuff, they hate him. No one likes him.

The Strangers Nights casters think he's a pedophile that suits hired to rape them all. They don't even know he's in the show. They think he's one of the managers. They're like, I thought that was one of the molesters on set. No coincidence. He's on the kids TV show, by the way. He's probably doing something.

Oh, yeah. So they have a new podcast. Him and Drake are fighting over Millie Bobby Brown like it's a fucking bone to dogs. They're just thrashing, rip like a chew toy. Do you think we should go over to the Patreon and talk about them? Yeah, I think we should.

Yeah, we should save that because we don't want it to get litigious, you know? That's what I mean, like I don't wanna, I'm terrified. I mean, everything I post about the guy, it kind of takes off. You are, and it's what I love about you, you are taking on two million lawyers in the USA.

You're like taking on the Senate. You're like Mr. Smith goes to Jewish, Washington, but dude I'm in the trenches. I'm surrounded by Jews. Mm-hmm. I got Jews on my side. I got Jewish friends Yeah, I got a dude. I talk about the Talmud with that gives me baseball picks. Yeah, but you're a sleeper cell You're one of the Inglorious Bass. Yeah, I'm waiting to be activated. Please somebody Your advanced you have the phrase. Do you have it? Please unlock my Krav Maga skills the owl that's been outside my window every night is actually like a robot Glowing green eyes of an owl. Quentin Tarantino, I want you to do it. David Lynch is dead, just fucking kill him all.

David Lynch is dead, just kill them. You have nothing. Hoo, kill them, hoo. Yeah, maybe. Look at the names of these episodes. Jewish Crush, Wild West Bank. Oh, are you talking about Stars of David? Stars of David.

Yeah, well they had just had Emmanuel Cherie Gion. That's a great get. Walking in the wild West Bank. It's like not, it's like you wanna, the dire straits. Yeah, every guest is like a new Spike Lee film. Their names. It's also like, don't you guys wanna run away

from the stereotype and like your last name is Money? Mm-hmm. It's Gold? Come on, man. Your name is Gold and then your co-host is that guy. So this is Devin's best friend, I guess. Brett Gellman is the definition of cool. Welcome to Stars of David with the Federal Reserve.

Baruch Hashem. Hasbushalem. No, Baruch Hashem. Hasbushalem means God forbid. I know what it means. Okay, then why'd you say it? For fun. Okay, because you're saying we're still here, God forbid.

Yes. God forbid that we should still be here. Yeah, it's sort of a Jewish thing, you know? Sort of saying the opposite of what you mean. How can they not pump the views up? How is this doing so badly? Do you want to look at the other people? Yeah.

Look at the other people, are you ready for this? Look at this. So Brett has, you know, Brett has like no views. The other episodes, like 77,000, 76, 74. Everyone's doing good except for Brett. 66, 72, 18. Brett bombed. Real stinger.

Five hundred seventy eight views. Brett, no one cares. Wow. Well, we're still. The anti-Israel hipster cabal. It feels really a lot right now that there's a fucking hipster cabal. Uh-huh.

You know? Yeah. And that's like the, this group that, I used to consider myself a part of. I used to think I was an annoying fat So woke literally everywhere early and intellectually lazy. Yeah, right He thinks this guy's yeah, you know, I'm like Penny Farthing's really don't blow up high speed as me Well, I mean, yeah

They're also just focusing on like there's like a woke far left woke contingency that like literally thinks ISIS is good Like there's like 300 of them. They're like, we love ISIS and wanna give them more bombs. And so that's what he's hyper focusing on. It's a guy with a monocle and a fucking mustache. If he focuses on them, he doesn't have to actually defend what's going on. A guy who looks like he has Anthony Fantano

in a fish tank somewhere staring at him. Brett looks like shit. Anthony Fantano in a fish tank somewhere staring at him. Yeah. Yeah Brett looks like shit. He can't talk. He's not funny the whole interview his points stink and he looks like shit It's like shit his dick's small. Yeah, and your wife's a bitch. He looks like what? Come at me bitch, he looks looks like what Bruce Springsteen should look like right now, without all the work. He really should. God, he sucks my ass. And he talks with that effeminate gay voice.

Sorry, Brad, you can't just be a bald white guy with a beard who screams on stage. It's not 2015 anymore. You're not gonna have executives eating out of the palm of your hand. It's not 2015? You're lucky to have this roll, bitch. That's all you got. Keep that denim jacket, it'll keep you warm

when the phone stops ringing. But I'll be there. The phone will stop ringing and that's when, but one day it'll ring and who's on the other end with Ben Avery. And hey, I got enough money now, Brett. Is your refrigerator running? I got an idea for a TV show, Brett. Why don't you come hey, I got enough money now, Brett. Is your refrigerator running?

I got an idea for a TV show, Brett. Why don't you come over? I got a camera and I got some pliers and I got a couple knives. Why don't we shoot something in my shed? Yeah, Brett, let's do a reboot of Deal or No Deal. How about that? I got a jigsaw mask I'm gonna wear

as the director of the movie How about you open up a briefcase we see what we cut your balls off Bitch Fuck you. No, actually I feel bad for him. He's the man has no swag. It's it's it's simply sad He gets he gets no bed. My wife's tits are way bigger than his wife's. Pfft. Do you think they have this guy on to make them look less Jewish?

Is that like what it is? Ha ha! I don't know who the fuck that guy is. This is their version of a Charles Atlas ad. The wimp getting the sand kicked in his face. It's, I don't even, I didn't even comment about him because I didn't even, I thought I was the only one who could see him.

You know, you see a guy. You made him up. You're like a beautiful mind for anti-Semitism. He's a personage. He's not even real. You come to me and you go, is that Jewish man real? In the corner. And I go, yeah, he goes, oh God.

Fuck. You can see him too. It's called the Jewish uncertainty principle. There's five dollars in a bank. It is crazy. I wanna express the- He looks like a bad back. God, he looks so bad.

It's crazy. I know, yeah. I know. It looks like you make him into bagels. And I'm only saying this because he's on this now. In person, I was just like whoa, whatever, you know we've hung out. Whoa!

Crazy behind enemy lines like that, breaking bread with this guy. The way he looked, I literally thought he was like a big famous, I was like you must ride on like every show and be like some big comic or something. I didn't know he was. He's on a podcast in a synagogue. Yeah I didn't know he was a, he's on a podcast in a synagogue. Yeah, I didn't know he was the he was a part of a Gellman duo

Another he was a part of like a traveling. Yeah, like man. I don't think he even talked he just kind of no He's the Jewish elephant man. I don't think he can sleep laying down or the Jew for will crush his skull I am NOT a genocidi This is the guy we're talking about yeah, that's the guy yeah, oh they know maybe is maybe he's there His hair is like a windscreen. Yeah for the microphones. They talk through his head to get the perfect sound Yeah, that's insane man. Yeah, he's that's sound. Yeah, that's insane, man. Yeah, he that's.

And like, I do love Jewish people, I want to say that, you know, anti. I don't like the Zionism. Love love Jews. Apparently there's because this is what some of the Jewish followers have alerted me of this. There's a lot of propaganda coming out of Israel because they want you to think everybody in Israel is wants the war. But actually, all the anti-war.

They go, it's actually 98% of the population. No, see, that's the propaganda. Cause anybody that is anti, they like curb stomp them and shit and they don't let them have a say in anything. So all the Jews that are against it, it seems like they don't even exist, but that's what they want you to think. But it's still like 80% of the population right?

I don't know. It's still a fair amount I believe. I mean yeah probably is. Yeah. But I'm just saying I love all the, shout out to all the Jewish people that listen to this show. Shalom. It's an important distinction between Jewish people, Zionist, and Brett Gellman.

Those are the three categories of people. Like the layers of hell. Yeah. Brett Gellman's at the bottom in a big lake of ice. Yep. Like Dante's Inferno, folks. He said a big thing of ice. Big lake of ice, and he's a beast

locked into the ice for millennia. I kinda feel bad for him because he's showing his ass now on all these podcasts. Yeah. Like we, you know I haven't even dug into the first episode of his show, right? Galman has his own podcast? Because he's a guest here, he's guesting here.

It came out today. He's doing it with his wife at the bottom of his empty pool. And it's a video podcast called Neurotica. Oh yeah, I think I saw you sent this to us. It looked like dog shit. Yeah, and the first episode came out today and I haven haven't got to listen to me. Well hey patreon.com slash lemon party We're looking into it. We're looking into it Devon Costa Jay savory much love to everybody in San Diego much love we love your city

I don't know if this episode's on YouTube But if it is like I guess like it and say that we're good in the comments smash that motherfucking like Bell Notifications shit days are numbered or whatever probably if we go three months without a strike We're back to normal, but now I know I don't think so because we got a strike like a year and a half ago We still can't sell merch on our YouTube because they remember I tried to like set that up And yeah, because we already had one strike like a year and a half ago but it said this was our first strike for for other stuff but like it's still it still does affect we won't have a clean record but it said with this strike goes away if we go three

months without another one 90 days that's what it said yeah yeah so we'll see and then if we get another strike I think we have to go 60 days without up love if we go another if we get another strike We can't upload to even tell people like hey come over to this new place Because we don't know what we're gonna do yet. Yeah We don't want to just be beholden to patreon eventually so we're gonna have to figure out something Yeah, kind of like what I'm doing. Yeah, we don't know yet anyway patreon.com slash lemon party for now, and YouTube for now. And thank you to everybody who likes and subscribes.

And we're going to do the bonus episode now. O'Reilly Okay. Bye-bye. O'Reilly Bye. I'm sorry. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina, Music would play and Folito would whirl. Blacker than night were the eyes of Folito, Wicked and evil while casting a spell. My love was deep for this Mexican maid, I was in love but in vain I could tell. One night a while young Calmore came in, Wild as the West Texas wind.