lemonparty - 122: City of God

Starting point is 00:00:00 WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this?

Starting point is 00:00:16 WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? WTF is this? Yo, this ice tea peach be hittin'. What a lovely way to prepare for an app to get hype to watch Bill Maher on Pod Save America. O'Reilly Which we watched, Devon Pauzy, we watched 48 minutes.

Starting point is 00:00:49 Lewis Hey, is this the main app or the Patreon? O'Reilly I think this is the Patreon, right? Lewis I guess every episode's a Patreon now, right? O'Reilly Yeah, but you know. Lewis We never really know until we're done. O'Reilly But I think the first one was very good. That's perfectly fine being a public episode. Muckerman Yeah, should we put this one on YouTube is

Starting point is 00:01:10 what I mean? Muckerman Yeah, let's put this one on YouTube. Muckerman Let's upload this to YouTube in six months when we're allowed to. Muckerman Yeah. Muckerman That's what I was thinking. Muckerman I checked it. I think it says May 9th, but I don't even know if that's real. Muckerman That's the lie that they said. They said if we got another strike in the next,

Starting point is 00:01:28 oh, they said if we didn't get a strike in the next 90 days, then on May 9th, they would repeal them. But they're not even letting us still. It doesn't make any sense. Can't you do the thing where it's like everybody, what if everybody stopped paying their mortgage Like then the banks would be like alright, like we'll bring the interest like can't you get everybody on YouTube to stop uploading that to help out our show

Starting point is 00:01:54 And to stop watching like if everyone in school didn't do the homework, yeah, you can't fail everybody You could be the max Keebler of the podcast world. All we gotta do is convince a billion people. We've gotta do like a million podcaster march on the Mall of America. I actually think it's a good sign. I think this is the change. Things are looking up. I know. All the fans are like, this is great news.

Starting point is 00:02:22 You have no idea what you're talking about. I want everybody to know that I'm never gonna back down. Honestly, for the best. I'm ramping up the slurs now. We can't change ourselves, okay? We can't change ourselves. We're not gonna put us in a cage, you know? Hell knows we wish we could change ourselves.

Starting point is 00:02:39 Lord knows. But unfortunately, we were born this way. N-word, Lord knows. We were born this way. I was born this way. N-word lord knows. We were born this way. I was born this way. Bill Maher upstairs educating the masses. The Joe Rogan on the left. Going off on some guy named John Lovett.

Starting point is 00:02:55 John Lovett. And then the other guy, a part of it is John Favreau. I loved, I had so much fun eating Taco Bell with you guys and watching Mar. I know. Yeah. Watching Mar own the libs. It's a great way to end a Sunday night, you know?

Starting point is 00:03:10 You gotta bring back the old days somehow. You know, you don't have like 60 minutes, it's kind of lost its, you know, people don't gather around the TV to watch 60 minutes anymore. CBS Sunday morning's still really good. 60 minutes kinda sucks ass. But yeah, CBS Sunday morning's okay too,

Starting point is 00:03:22 but you only get that on like YouTube, and no one's watching it on Sunday morning, unless you're an old lady. So now, guys like us, we gotta have some Taco Bell, watch Bill Maher take John Lovett the test. I love it. And it was a very fun time, because the Potsdamerica guys are so gay

Starting point is 00:03:37 that it made Bill Maher look like an outlaw. He looked like the coolest guy. Yeah, he looked like Ghost Rider, showing up to the studio. He was in a leather jacket and he goes, actually you're retarded. We were just like woo. We were just going woo.

Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah he was just being interviewed by this fucking smug passive aggressive millennial fag. This millennial fag who's like adopted Jim from the office mannerisms to be like, actually trans kids matter. Yes, who's on the side of fighting for the from the office mannerisms to be like, actually trans kids matter. Yeah. Who's on the side of fighting for the disenfranchised and the working class,

Starting point is 00:04:09 but thinks all of them are dumb and voted for Trump. Yeah. We said speak that shit, Bill. The working class, the people at the coffee shops, on their laptops, with their dogs. Remember that, remember we knew a couple of comics that would do jokes where they're like, totally like liberal guys and shit,

Starting point is 00:04:24 they were some of the most annoying like voices But then after jokes would be like like I was in the south Did you know that gas stations are fucking fried chicken, yeah, I remember Do you not know about poor people? Black areas Are you unaware that poor people like cheap food? At the only place around that has food, because they're on a desert.

Starting point is 00:04:50 Yeah, they go, man, I was just in Gary, Indiana. Not a lot of veggies around. Yeah, that shit. Yeah, a lot of crack addicts in Gary, Indiana. The Pod Save America podcast though is probably, like it's Obama-backed, right? It's CIA-funded Obama. It's Evergreen International.

Starting point is 00:05:11 Yeah. They've actually, it's funny, their name's not right because they've done more damage to the American public than like the CIA. With their bullshit West Wing style, we believe in democracy. We're smarter than everybody, we're right, yet we've lost twice to apparently the biggest idiot

Starting point is 00:05:28 of all time that they believe. And we just get our shit pushed in. Yeah. And they're all outraged by what Jason and I were talking about, they still are on this thing of like, I mean, he just doesn't even respect debates. He doesn't respect the seat. Yeah, he goes, he doesn't respect working compromise

Starting point is 00:05:45 across the island. I'm like, shut enough with the compromise horse shit. You have fun with thinking that way, Reet Dard. Enjoy the camp. I hope you're the first in it. Woo! Yeah! Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:56 Woo! Woo! Yeah! It would be great. They're shackled in Bill Maher's audience. They're in chains. There's like Gestapo's holding guns in their head. They're in chains, there's like Gestapo's holding guns in their head, they're still like,

Starting point is 00:06:06 woo, yeah! In a workers camp. In a work camp. Yeah, in the fuckin' tundra. Yeah! There's a firing squad that's, do do do do do do, woo! Yeah!

Starting point is 00:06:24 Every morning a Ray Fiends character from Schindler's List just wakes up and snipes a few people for fun. It just blows John Fathero's brains out across the dirt, across the dirty camp floor. Yeah, no, they suck ass. I hate, I genuinely hate their ass. Yeah, they suck my ass. Yeah. They're so sly.

Starting point is 00:06:44 Mara was taking them to, I love hate their ass. Yeah, they suck my ass. Yeah. They're so sny. Mara was taking him to, I love seeing Mara take him to school. And yes, I'll suck Mara's dick on every episode we do. Mm-hmm. Huge fan. Devin, the great Devin Costa turned me on to Bo Mar,

Starting point is 00:06:59 showed me. He is so amusing. I love him. He's never been wrong. He's great. He's not out. I love him. He's never been wrong. He's great. He's not out of touch. No. He asked him, he goes, are you out of touch?

Starting point is 00:07:10 And he said no. He goes, what are you talking about? Of course I'm not out of touch. He also does a thing. I noticed this. Bill Maher. He does this thing I love. I've never seen a comedian do this

Starting point is 00:07:18 where somebody will bring something up. And he goes, I have a very funny bit on my newest special about that. Not I have a bit. Yes. Not I have a joke about that. He's obsessed. I have a very hilarious joke about this. He's obsessed with plugging his stand-up He thinks he's like like it's like prior and then him Here's the great thing about Martha cuz Mars gonna come in he's gonna tell the left

Starting point is 00:07:36 You guys need to drop the kids and can have surgeries and some special cases to get their decks chopped You guys have to stop doing this bullshit. Stop the drag queens reading to kids. You guys are gonna lose every election forever if you're just not gonna give this up. But John Lovett and those guys, they can't give up. That guy, that fucking retard, that was talking about how racist Casablanca is.

Starting point is 00:08:03 Like that's, that's, that's. Oh, oh, Gone With The Wind. Gone With The Wind. That's on his list of priorities to complain about. First five minutes, he's talking about how racist, gone with the women. By the way, didn't. A civil war. Didn't that movie give a first black woman of all time

Starting point is 00:08:16 an Academy Award. An Academy Award, yeah. For her best actress, Hattie McDaniel. Yeah, the Hattie McDaniels. Yeah, so suck my dick, John Lovett and Jon Favreau. And your producer, Vince John, and the whole cast of swingers. Yeah, Johnny suck my dick John Lovett and John Favreau and your producer Vince John and the whole cast of swingers for the DNC, you weird freaks. John Lovett would love to, he's a big fag.

Starting point is 00:08:34 He's gay. John Lovett's gay, yeah. He called himself that, he goes, I'm a big fag. Omar goes, I'm aware. I'm aware. I think you're gross. I think you're very gross. No, but it is very funny. That's the one thing we want to do on a Sunday night all together. Just throw on Mar and get genuinely kind of bummed out we have to stop an hour in to

Starting point is 00:08:58 go do the podcast. Yeah, we should go record. Yeah. Beefy five layer burrito. Yeah, you really love that one. The chalupa. And I had some McDonald's before this. I can't believe it. What is going on?

Starting point is 00:09:08 No, this is as long as you've known me. I know, but you're just back to this. This is modus operandi. You walked into my place with McDonald's, and then you ordered Taco Bell after our first episode. It's called, there's a pre-workout. And then there's post. Right.

Starting point is 00:09:24 You have your whey protein before the pod. Of course. I don't know what other proteins there are. Ghost. I like the ghost energy protein. It's like Starburst flavored. I see it at the 24 hour fitness. I walk by a big shelf of stuff

Starting point is 00:09:40 and it's a big, big jar. There's like Twix, Starburst. I don't know what any of it is, but guys drink it. It's supposed to be good for working out. Yeah. But you have- There's Jolly Rancher flavored energy workout. You get energy drinks that are made by Spike TV somehow.

Starting point is 00:09:59 They brought Spike TV back to make a Starburst flavored frap drink. People buy that. I see people checking out at the 24-hour fitness. Yeah. Buying the whey protein, Ghost Energy, Starburst flavored protein. Yeah. Our friend Sam had a fridge full of those when we were in New York. He had stuff called Ghost Protocol, Dead Reckoning. Yeah, Tom Clancy's energy.

Starting point is 00:10:22 Tom Clancy's Ghost Protocol. He had one called Tom Clancy's The F Tom Clancy's ghost protocol. He had one called Tom Clancy's The Firm energy drink. And he was like, try it. And we tried it and it legitimately, I think my gum started to hurt really bad. Made my whole body tangle. Yeah, you started like shaking. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:37 It was crazy. You get tremors from them. Yeah, I tried like the bang, the bang energy. I tried that at one of my coworkers had it once. It was insane There's a sniper scope on the can The scope like should be on like your fucking femoral artery. Yes as it's destroying your body There's a your most drinks. They're all in the hallway here is c4. Jolly Rancher. They're crazy

Starting point is 00:11:01 Yeah, because yarmulke is a hummingbird he has to like drink pure sugar water because he's building nine podcast studios a day Yeah Yarmul is always like you just be like, what are you doing? He's like I'm building a deck downtown Hey guys, we got another ad from fan favorite Ruby's flowers They sent us another message that they would like us to play on the podcast. So Ben, I believe you have that file if you want to play this message from Ruby's Flowers. Listen up Lemon Party fans. This is very super important. Hold on. I have to turn my music

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Starting point is 00:12:10 as flowers sent straight to your front door. We know Lemon Party fans are cool as motherfuckers who listen to old O&A episodes with Patrice and Norm Macdonald compilations, not like those Bastool mouth breathing retards who clap like seals and bray like donkeys at fake edgy bullshit comedy. Anyways from one OG podcast fan to another you are all the coolest guy and my number one special friend. Okay I have to go now a 14 year old needs to buy weights and carbonated poison goodbye now. Oh I I almost forgot Ruby's flowers w I dot-com Yeah, I only I told him we would only do the ad if he included the barstool stuff. Nice Thanks, Ruby flowers go their site. We have smoked tons of their shit. It's very good. It's great stuff

Starting point is 00:12:56 What was it Ruby's flowers dot what Ruby's flowers? Wi calm I believe I think it's Ruby flowers wi.com. I think so or not. This is not saying that I think it's rubyflowerswi.com. I think so. Or not. This is not saying the email. I think it did in the ad. I have other emails, but it'd be too long to pull them up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess the link will be in the description, right?

Starting point is 00:13:16 Yes. Also that. So you can go to the description that's not on YouTube anymore. It's hard to understand because it's an Indian AI voice. Yeah. That's hard to understand because it's an Indian AI voice. Yeah, no that's him. I have no idea. He does a good impression of an Indian AI guy. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I have no idea what he's saying. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:13:35 Sorry. Next question. Next question. Next ad. Thank you, Ruby's Flowers. Yep. Thank you. Now back to the show.

Starting point is 00:13:43 Now back to the show, or another ad, we'll see. But yeah, you really love the beefy five layer and I don't know. Devin, he turns to us and he goes, what is it? Devin, it's five layers. I did say that to you, you're a fool, it's five layers. It's food for people with no teeth. It's food for like Walter Brennan. Give me my beefy fire.

Starting point is 00:14:05 They forgot my sauce. See, to me, it kind of looks like something Napoleon Dynamite would pull out of his lunchbox. Yeah. Just a bit. God damn it, Napoleon. Make yourself a dang quesadilla. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire.

Starting point is 00:14:19 I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. I'm not even finished with my beefy fire. Gosh! See, to me, it kinda looks like something Napoleon Dynamite would pull out of his lunchbox. Yeah. Just a bit, god damn it, Napoleon,

Starting point is 00:14:28 make yourself a dang quesadilla! Quesadilla, yeah. Quesadilla! Yeah. It's what Napoleon would eat, like, across from Kip at a place. Sure, sure. Mushy, like, nothing. Yeah, you should wanna eat the food Napoleon Dynamite eats.

Starting point is 00:14:41 I do. I love Napoleon Dynamite, he's like a hero of mine. Yeah. Cause he gets like a hero of mine. Yeah. Cause he gets the girl in the end. Yeah. I forgot about how Napoleon Dynamite went. But yeah. He plays tetherball with the girl.

Starting point is 00:14:54 That's right. With the brain injury. That's right. With the sideways ponytail. Yeah, very good. Yeah. And then the movie, you actually don't see this, the movie ends, but he day rapes her.

Starting point is 00:15:03 Dude, Devin doesn't think the movie's funny, but I watched it silent on a plane as my daughter was sleeping, and it's so funny. Uncle Rico, I forgot he's going door to door, he's sexually assaulting. I might like him more now, when I was a kid I didn't connect with him. He's going door to door to sell Tupperware,

Starting point is 00:15:21 but he keeps sexually assaulting. What an idiot. It's very good. And then he videotapes himself in the backyard and throwing footballs into the sides of the house. That's very funny. That is, he only makes steaks. Yeah, he only eats the steak. But he eats the Chuck Roe.

Starting point is 00:15:36 The steaks you should have only for stew. The $3 steak. But he's the retard that goes to the supermarket and buys the steak that's the cheapest, not knowing it's not to be cooked by the steak. Super overcooked. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:15:48 It's like you're eating a buck. That's the steak he eats. He sucks ass. Kip marries a big black woman from Detroit, Michigan. That's right. That's a fun bit. La Fonda. He shows up with Serena Williams.

Starting point is 00:16:00 That's a good time. It made me laugh. I tried to bring it up to Devon, though, that he just stared at me, like, OK, I'll let you have that opinion. I tried to bring it up to Devon though, that he kinda just stared at me like, okay, I'll let you have that opinion. I haven't seen this since I was a kid, but I didn't like it as a kid for some reason. Yeah, I'd have to re-watch it.

Starting point is 00:16:11 I think I was expecting a lot, cause it had such a bit, like the trailer was awesome, and you know, it was such a cultural phenomenon. Nacho Libre also sucked too. Nacho Libre... Nacho! As everyone would do. Well, that was still the era where the leftist people were, they still let themselves laugh at the idea

Starting point is 00:16:32 of a Mexican person for some reason. Because this is a big theme in Napoleon Dynamite, too. It is, just doing Mexican voice. Be like, hey, what's going on? You could laugh at that, and now you can't. You're like a vicious racist if you laugh at that or something. Yeah, if you laugh at like Jack Black going like,

Starting point is 00:16:48 my tetanus. Yeah. I mean, the whole joke of vote for Pedro, it's like, could you imagine voting for just a Mexican? I mean, that's a beat. There's nothing special about him, because he's named after what all the Mexicans are named after.

Starting point is 00:17:02 That's a comedic beat in the story. It's just a Mexican guy walks on camera and the camera zooms in on his Mexican face. I was like, fucking check this out. This is this fucking Mexican guy. He's Mexican. He's fucking Mexican. His name's Pedro.

Starting point is 00:17:15 He jumps bikes. Fucking idiot. He's a fucking Mexican. He's a fucking Mexican, yeah. Get him. It was a beautiful time. It was a great time. It was a great time. It was a beautiful time.

Starting point is 00:17:26 Didn't Will Ferrell make a movie all in Spanish? Yeah, Casa de Mi Padre. I always kind of thought he did that because he was like jealous of Nacho Libre and he was trying to do his own thing. Pretty sure Andrew Steele, not to dead name, pretty sure Andrew still wrote that movie. Oh, from what's the movie that he made that he's mad

Starting point is 00:17:43 wasn't an Oscar That we talked about Harper Steel Harper Harper and me. I wonder who Andrew Steel was yeah That's Harper Steel's dead name Which Harper Steel I'm just realizing sounds incredibly like a porn name Yeah Casa de mi padre yeah Casa de mi padre. Yeah Casa de mi padre 2012 shit. Yep Harper's and they changed it motherfucker no, no, no, no

Starting point is 00:18:18 No, Andrew still wrote that movie in 2012 you sons of bitches I was working at Gary Sanchez at the time you motherfuckers.ers. I saw Andrew every day get the Diet Coke. I had the Diet Cokes in the fridge. It was Andrew Still who wrote that movie, how dare you. That you can't, because that's still dead naming. A guy wrote that movie. Yeah. Harper, there was no Harper. Where's Harper?

Starting point is 00:18:40 Does Harper have a time machine? Can anybody help me out? When you get post-op surgery at the doctor, they go, by the way, here's your time machine. So you can go back in time and take all the good things you did. Now you go back and you get to redo it. Is that how it works?

Starting point is 00:18:54 Devin, help me out here. Do trans people, can they time travel? No, I wanna jump on this, but I read the other day that Harper's Tale was beaten to death. Oh, with a tire iron? Yeah, she was killed in the end of Brokeback Mountains. We made a lot of jokes, like I don't know why she's acting like all afraid, but like she was killed.

Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, yeah. Her parents lied and say she was repairing a car and the tire exploded and killed her, but she was beat to death by a homophobic redneck. She was killed. A bro-ingang. Guys that had swastikas on their eyes. Actually killed her.

Starting point is 00:19:29 Yeah, guys who had the lizard sunglasses, but they were swastikas instead. If only Will Ferrell was there to protect her. Yeah. Will would love that, by the way. Will would love if he made the movie. He just turns into the Ashley guy from East Bounded Down. Which guy? Isn't he the car, he's like the rival car salesman from Eastbound and Down.

Starting point is 00:19:48 Isn't he the car, he's like the rival car salesman from Eastbound and Down. Yeah, Ashley, whatever the name is. I didn't have HBO back then. Me neither. I have it now and I haven't really gone back to the show. I know people say it's one of the best comedies ever. Nacho! Nacho, but nothing will be nacho!

Starting point is 00:20:03 Also, Nacho! Nacho, but nothing will be nacho! Also, um, nacho. Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite was deported. Yeah, they actually figured out this. Yeah! Yeah, he was leading a gang of Venezuelans that took over a hotel in Colorado. Good. The party got kicked off of YouTube. Good.

Starting point is 00:20:27 Good. Yeah, and that's a damn shame. They're sending everybody over the border. Pedro. Yep. Yep. My wife. Nacho.

Starting point is 00:20:38 People keep saying it's going to start happening in LA. I've heard multiple times over the past few weeks, like, hey, if you got any homies that are... I've heard multiple times over the past few weeks, like, hey, if you got any homies that are, and I'm like, if I have any illegal homies? But like, yeah, sure, I guess I'll alert them. What does that even mean, that you're supposed to text Mexican people? I don't know, when I go to Home Depot,

Starting point is 00:20:56 I go like, watch out, man! I look like I'm a paranoid, like, go-can. Yeah, you go up to the Mexicans in the Home Depot, you're like, they're looking for you, and they're gonna find you. I'm like, okay. I'm kind of picturing Devin walking around like Jack White playing Elvis in the Dewey Cox Show. That's what I was thinking.

Starting point is 00:21:14 Watch out, man! Holy! Watch out, we got ice. This is coming, baby! The king's back, baby! He's gonna kick you out! You're being an ass ass! I guess I shouldn't say that or whatever.

Starting point is 00:21:27 You shouldn't say beener. You can't say beener, right? Oh, I mean, it's bad, but I don't say it to Mexicans. But the S for Mexicans is bad. It's worse than beener. Spick is bad. Yeah. Can we say spick?

Starting point is 00:21:42 No, because it's just harsh. Yeah, it's harsh. Bean is better because it's like- Well I said it, I'm explaining it. Yeah, Devin's also Mexican, so he can say it. This is what my daughter does, she just points. I'm everything. Yeah. Your daughter does do that, she points,

Starting point is 00:21:55 and then she starts dancing with her finger out, like that. She points, yeah, she's a black person in public, point. And you go, no, no, no, no, that's her when we're in the car, when we're in the car. Back him up. No! Go, go, go, go. Back him up.

Starting point is 00:22:13 Go back to Africa. Give me my dad, he want it back. Scary man. Africa. Africa. Africa. Africa. Africa.

Starting point is 00:22:23 Africa. Africa. Africa. Africa. scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

Starting point is 00:22:30 I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

Starting point is 00:22:36 I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared.

Starting point is 00:22:43 I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. When I was back in school, we're like, yeah, it's a little, but as time went on. It was more funny. It was more silly. It's just so ridiculous. I mean, bean or it's like retarded. They eat beans, so you call it, it's like calling a Chinese person like a ricey or something. Or a noodler or something, like, okay. Wet backs also ridiculous,

Starting point is 00:22:56 cause their back is wet from, I mean, first off, their whole body would be wet. Doesn't make any fucking. Yeah, like they floated on their back. What if they like, they're like this the whole way over the Rio Grande? They used one Mexican as a raft to get across the Rio Grande. Is that where it's from? Yeah, from crossing the river.

Starting point is 00:23:12 Their backs get wet. One of them is a raft? Yeah. That's where it comes from. You know what? I've never seen a Mexican put on sunscreen. I don't know why. I've even seen blacks put on sunscreen.

Starting point is 00:23:22 They have to save the money for medellas at the gas station Yeah, and the three pack I've never gone into a gas station in California not seeing a Mexican guy buying a 24 rack of medallet and in the more the three tall boy pack, you know the three four Yeah, that's where he's like, I know he's I'm like, I'm gonna be back for lunch. Yeah, that's for the car. Yeah But just to tie them over And Mexicans always have the cash ready. Have you guys noticed that they for the car. Yeah, but just to tie them over And Mexicans always have the cash ready if you guys notice that they have the crisp Yeah, the 10 or the 20 because they don't have usually a pay security. Yeah My my maid said everybody on the bus is really scared right now. That sounds sad

Starting point is 00:24:00 Like really yeah, she was like everybody on the bus they don't know everybody's scared They're scared and you go you go. Yeah. Yes, terrible. He goes to get the back bedroom That's awful. There's a crease in my sheets If it happens again, you will go back so just Did you redo every bit of laundry? More more baja blast you think Mexican people make Tell your people to add more ice

Starting point is 00:24:42 Sorry what we saying about the bus? Mm-hmm. You go, yeah. Yes, the wheels on the bus are round and round, one each. Yes, yes, my daughter is learning this as well. There it is. You and my daughter, same education level. And then she's quiet and you just go, I hate you people. Oh yes, the Amarillo bus. Yeah. No, that is scary. Isn't that yellow? Amarillo is yellow, I think. I don you people. Oh yes, the Amarillo bus. Yeah. No, that is scary.

Starting point is 00:25:06 Isn't that yellow? Amarillo is yellow, I think. I don't know. I know Blanco and that's it. And black is negra. Negra, yeah. Modelo negra. Negra. Yeah, negra.

Starting point is 00:25:16 It's so crazy. Was that too close? That's what granddaddy used to say the N word sometimes. We got some Modelogros down there. He's shooting us. He's lynching them. Yeah. Well, no granddaddy.

Starting point is 00:25:34 He goes, get them! He thinks they stole the gold foil from him. Yeah, walking into the ANP, he's like, look at them. They're gold teeth on top of their black bodies. Get him! Yeah, dragging a Modela Negro behind his car. Get him! You gonna fuck my wife and play basketball now?

Starting point is 00:26:03 Boy. Now Granddaddy, the craziest thing about Granddaddy who was saying the N-word was how flippantly he would say it. You know what I mean? Like there wasn't even stink on it or anything. He'd just be like, who's that tall N who played for the Toronto Raptors? And he'd just be like, he'd be like Chris Bosh.

Starting point is 00:26:23 He'd be like, yeah, I fucking hate that guy. You seen that video on Twitter, wherever, where it's an old guy, sounds like your granddaddy in a truck in Texas or whatever, and they're driving, they're listening to little Uzi Vert or something, and the guy filming him, he's like, who is this, is this Leonard Skanner? And he goes, no, this ain't Leonard Skanner.

Starting point is 00:26:44 And he goes, who is it? And he like Leonard Skinner? And he goes, no, this ain't Leonard Skinner. And he goes like, who is it? And he's getting out of his car. He goes, some fucking, then it clicked like video cuts. He doesn't know he's being recorded. Yeah, that's pretty good stuff, man. Did I say that? The old guys in the-

Starting point is 00:26:57 No, you pause, yeah. Do you guys ever see that, do you guys get that sponsored ad where it's the old guy in a big chili pepper in a field? No. It's like a hatch chili family? No. I've been more into the guy getting eaten

Starting point is 00:27:10 by the whale for a second. Wait, what are you talking about? There's a guy in a kayak. Why am I not getting this? He gets eaten by a whale, and he was in the mouth of the whale for like 20 seconds. Oh, yeah, I saw that. In like that pier or whatever.

Starting point is 00:27:20 In like Patagonia or something. Yeah. Should I watch that instead? I don't know. You're a hatch chili man. I don Patagonia or something. Yeah. Should I watch that instead? I don't know, I don't know. You're a hatch chili man. I don't know what this is. What?

Starting point is 00:27:28 Devin, this is one of our favorite pastimes is talking about commercials. Oh, okay, nevermind. Fuck real stuff. Is this it right here? Yeah, so there's a hatch chili family. I forget the name of their... Oh yeah, I think it's, no, might be that guy.

Starting point is 00:27:47 Is it fresh chili? I don't know if I'm gonna find it actually, but his dad is eating a big pepper and he's like 96. He just like rips a pepper out of the ground. By the way, hatch chilies, I've spent a lot of time in New Mexico. My mom had friends out there all the time. It's not great.

Starting point is 00:28:01 They're not a great addition to most things. It's not great. It doesn't need to be in there. I don't really get it. Chili's already really good, the not a great addition to most things. It's not great. It's pretty lame. It doesn't need to be in there. I don't really get it. Chili's already really good. The hatch, that's nothing to it. It has to be really well made.

Starting point is 00:28:11 Because let's just put them in queso out there and you're like, yeah, it's fine. Or in burgers. Yeah, I'm not a fan. They're rather a jalapeno. Yeah, I don't know if it'll actually come up on YouTube. I don't know if they have a presence there. I get it on Instagram where it's just like an old guy.

Starting point is 00:28:24 Oh, I love, I love Cowboy Kent Rollins. I get it on Instagram where it's just like an old guy. I love, I love cowboy Kent Rollins. Cowboy Kent Rollins, he's great. Dude, he rules. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that fat beagle always comes around and he feeds him a little bit. He's got that fat beagle, and he also never dog whistles,

Starting point is 00:28:35 but he gets close enough for you, like I kinda like it more. He does. Like he's like, I like my coffee blacker than a lot of things that I like. We're gonna show you how to make it on old Bessie. Okay, Devon, wait, what's the whale that eats the guy? I've been manning my whale.

Starting point is 00:28:51 Do you remember the pace? Man versus whale. Do you remember the old pace salsa? Kayak. Ed? I don't think so. The one where it was like there was a bunch of cowboys around a campfire and they go,

Starting point is 00:29:02 that fella gets you a shousha from New York City. And it's just, like they go, that fella gets you salsa from New York City. And it just keeps it there, New York City. And you expect the cowboy to be like, you get juice salsa from New York City? That's the idea behind the, I just always liked that commercial. That's a good one. Do you remember the old Olive Garden commercial

Starting point is 00:29:22 where it was legitimately like, they have this family and they go, whenever my Italian grandmother comes back from the old country, we always love to take her to the most Italian place we know, the Olive Garden. I think it was really a real commercial. It wasn't being ironic or anything. I don't think so.

Starting point is 00:29:39 It was what Olive Garden had like, they were trying to really pull the wool over everyone's eyes. It's fucking Italian. To retards in the Midwest. It was an old blind Nana with a bent back from making meatballs. Whenever my Mima comes up from Abilene. I fucking loved all of Garn as a kid.

Starting point is 00:30:01 Before I knew what Italian food was. Thank you, Chase, because I'm fucking lost here, by the way. Hometown Buffet was also my shit. I Before I knew what Italian food was. Me too. Thank you, Jace, because I'm fucking lost here, by the way. Hometown buffet was also my shit. I've had supposedly good Italian food and not been that impressed. Sometimes just sloppy diner spaghetti is awesome. That fucking sugary, ketchup-y meat sauce.

Starting point is 00:30:17 Who are these uppity cunts about pasta and red sauce and stuff? Sometimes it's great when it's just overcooked pasta. Spaghetti-os is also very good, by the way. What is? Spaghetti-os is very very good, by the way. What is? Spaghetti-os is very good. The chef where I eat spaghetti and meatballs in a can is very nice.

Starting point is 00:30:29 Jace, thank you very much. I don't get the hate on Olive Garden. I've had many dishes from Olive Garden. They're all very good. I always leave very full. It's cheap. The service is usually mediocre. The water's cold.

Starting point is 00:30:43 I mean, I don't know. And also, like, the bathrooms are shit everywhere. Calm down to Olive Garden. The water's cold. Well, I like drinking really cold water when I eat pasta, because I convince myself, you know, if you drink cold water, it burns more calories than if you're drinking room temp. Is that true?

Starting point is 00:31:02 Yeah, your body has to work overtime. Isn't there also a bunch of assholes that say drinking cold water's bad for true? Yeah, your body has to work overtime. Isn't there also a bunch of assholes that say drinking cold water's bad for you? Yeah, water, fucking fuck them. That sounds like the Fat People version of like, when you die, if you're really good, you go to heaven. It seems like a last grasp, like a hope for something. Like, you know the Chinese live longer

Starting point is 00:31:20 because they drink hot, I'm like, that's not, that's not why they're living longer. They live longer. Because they drink hot, I'm like, that's not, that's not why they're living longer. Because they drink hot tea, their lifestyle, everything. Why wouldn't they live longer than me? They're this big. Yeah, they live longer because they don't have souls.

Starting point is 00:31:35 They live longer because people get them mixed up and they go, you're still alive. Oh my God, no, that's Ken, that's another guy. You're tricking the Grim Reaper, come on. They're always like being moved around. Death shows up. Death's Ken, that's another guy. You're tricking the Grim Reaper, come on. They're always like being moved around. Death shows up. Death's like, which one?

Starting point is 00:31:49 Death's like, I'm here for a Tom, Kim. He goes, that's not me. He goes, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed, I'm a great guy. Okay, hold on. So I'm sorry everybody, but I have to watch this video of a whale swallowing a kayaker in Chile Right here. This is recent Devon. Yeah, you want to break this down for us?

Starting point is 00:32:15 Right now to watch this is maybe the wildest story of the man in a kayak and then a whale jumps out of nowhere Then immediately spitting him out. That's great I mean, I guess this is my new beat, Gio. Shut up! Yesterday, I reported. Shut up, boy! Oh, god. I hate her. Don't have fun at work. Burn in hell! Ha ha ha ha! We're like rabid dogs with women around the screen.

Starting point is 00:32:36 Ha ha! This guy's fishing for whales? A shark. And today, yes, I can one up that story with this one. It sounds like a live action version of Farting Loach. Another guy was on a kayak and a great white shark was right around him.

Starting point is 00:32:50 So nothing happened, great story. No. After being swallowed up whole by a humpback whale. I got it right, it was a humpback. Very good. Very good. But I guess everyone knows that. A massive mammal breaching the water.

Starting point is 00:33:02 Get him! And quickly dragging the man under. Adrian Simancas was out kayaking with his him! I hate that the whales never close. Are they so smart that it knew it was a guy and it wasn't like a fish or something? I believe so, yeah. There's just an uprising right now. They all got an email to kill. So they're doing it for one.

Starting point is 00:33:19 You remember the whales were trying to tip over boats and stuff? They're still doing it. Yeah, they're pretty pissed off. They're so smart. They're brilliant. It kicks ass. Yeah. They're still doing it. Yeah, they're pretty pissed off. For yachts, yeah. They're so smart. They're brilliant. It kicks ass. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:28 They're great. But we will win. Once we activate the Japanese, once we get a bunch of guys in rice hats with long spears on your ass. No, dude, there's still three countries that are doing whaling, and Japan's one of them. Yeah, no, they're kicking ass. They never stopped whaling. They still kill whales. Yeah, yeah. It really sucks ass. Yeah's one of them. Yeah, no they're kicking ass. They never stopped whaling, they still kill whales.

Starting point is 00:33:45 Yeah, yeah. It really sucks ass. Yeah, no Japan. And fuck them, I hope we bomb them again. Japan, the people in Japan they read. They're pissing me off man. Hey guys, we got a big fan favorite back on the show, we got autoblow, if you want the world's best blow job, stop searching for it from real people.

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Starting point is 00:35:19 will call you a loser for having it. That's right, Devin, because we're still doing an ad. The Autoblog is six. I use it. Devin, because we're still doing an ad. The Auto Blow even syncs up with VR videos if you're ready to take things to the next level. Get an Auto Blow and get ready to blow your mind Head to audible calm and use the code lemon 15. That's lemon 1 5 to get 15% off your purchase That's audible doc auto blow calm code lemon 15 for 15% off people Japan read Moby Moby Dick and they boo while they're reading the ending I'll show you there there's three countries, three countries that,

Starting point is 00:36:10 come on you fucking keyboard, that whale egg. It is Iceland, Japan, and Norway, boom. Right there, read them in Weed Boys. What are they killing the whales for? Fuck, we need to buy Iceland, buy Norway, fuck them in Weed Boys. What are they killing the whales for? Fuck, we need to buy Iceland. Buy Norway, fuck them, change the laws. What are they doing with the whales? Making-

Starting point is 00:36:32 God only knows what they're doing with them. What were we using them to make like candles and shit back in the day? Huh? Didn't we use them to make candles and stuff for the blubber? It's Hermesetti, yeah, the oils, we're using the street lamps,

Starting point is 00:36:43 people use them as perfume, the bones were used as for dildos It was a whole thing nice the blubber you can eat the blubber and shit make a blubber burger. Yeah blubber nugget Mm-hmm. I would love to have that actually it sounds great blubber sounds so What if it's amazing what you have for dinner night a bunch of blubber? Me I hate the king of the ocean. Me, I eat the biggest thing God ever made. You know, it's hard as the size of a Volkswagen, and I stopped that today. Oh me, I fried up a miracle

Starting point is 00:37:28 Is there hard actually the size of a car it's the size of Volkswagen yeah Fuckers Really good looks great looks like a big steak that was awesome Hope we can have it here in Norway because I don't know why. No, why do they eat it? Are they comfortable eating them because there's like too many? Like is there an overpopulation of whales?

Starting point is 00:37:52 I think they just kind of don't give a shit. Fuck them, man. Damn. Not okay. Save the whale. By the way, if you think I'm being a soy cuck right now, Trump loves the whales more than I do. He does, he does love whales.

Starting point is 00:38:03 So fuck off right now if you think I'm soying out over this shit. But it's not endangered is what it says, so isn't it fine to eat that whale? There's two intelligent, you can't do this. They're two smart. You eat calamari, that's like eating a person basically. Octopuses are so smart.

Starting point is 00:38:20 Calamari is squid, isn't it? Oh it is, okay nevermind, fuck that. Yeah squids are retards. Octopus is the smart one. Octopus, but can you eat isn't it? Oh, it is, okay, nevermind, fuck that. Yeah, squids are retards. Octopus is the smart one. Octopus, but can you eat octop, you can eat octopus, right? I eat octopus. Yeah, yeah, octopus is like, you'll have octopus that really. You'll eat them a lot.

Starting point is 00:38:31 Nice restaurants do like the grilled octopus and stuff because it's hard to cook because you can overcook it really easily. Yeah, yeah, but no, the octopus. But yeah, they're very smart, but I don't care. Speak, can they speak? There's been like octopuses in aquariums that have roamed like kill me on their walls

Starting point is 00:38:52 There's might maybe they'd build a gun I kind of hate their Jimmy neutron head and their bird's beak It makes me feel like they're demonic in some way like I think they're an evil thing we have to kill Yeah, but whales are hyper intelligent, they're religious, they can speak to each other from one ocean to another. Yeah, they do like these weird little dances around people. Octopuses feel like they'd be fun to punch in the head. An octopus, I would love to curb someone. I would just love to treat it like a...

Starting point is 00:39:19 American History Act style. Yeah, you tie it to a big board so it's like a punching bag. A speed bag, you just go... I would love to take an octopus up to the Empire State Building and drop it and watch it It's like splatter. No you you think it's gonna splatter But what actually happens is two pigeons grab it and then rip it apart in midair. Yeah, that'd be great Yeah, I would love that. I kind of like the fuck one and it's it's here You know, they have like big holes in the side of their heads. Yeah pictures I want to put my dick in it,

Starting point is 00:39:45 cause it looks like it'd feel good. But it also seems cool to let their tentacles go all around you. Like on their arm. I would let them do that. The suction cups that they have. This is a whole category of porn. It's a hentai.

Starting point is 00:39:56 Right. Shoving squids in octopi and pussies. Jay says the professor pornography guy, isn't this a thing that Japanese people, they masturbate to ladies with tentacles and stuff? Yeah, I'm on the History Channel as like porn expert. But yeah, no, there this a thing that Japanese people, they masturbate to ladies with tentacles and stuff? Yeah, I'm on the History Channel as porn expert. But yeah, no, there's a thing in Japanese porn for whatever reason, they shove squids up pussies and stuff.

Starting point is 00:40:12 It's very funny, octopus are the smart ones and the squids are the slack-jawed retard. We're fine with eating squid, but octopus, you gotta go, no, they're intelligent. Squids are phallic and stuff, they're like big penises that swim around. Octopuses are the balls that's where the life is. Squids kinda look like mini octopuses don't they a little bit? Well they got tiny tentacles and they can't change color like an octopus can. An octopus can completely match its surroundings.

Starting point is 00:40:40 Are they called like cephalopods what the hell are they? I don't fucking know that horse shit. Shut up. I don't know. You know what's been pissing me off lately? Thinking about the Latin names of like stuff. I'm like, knock that off. Oh yeah, I don't care. Latin names.

Starting point is 00:40:55 This flower is the Placicinidae Placicinidae family. No it's not. It's the yellow one. You know why that pisses me off? Is because I actually want to learn shit. And I go on Wikipedia and I try to learn about fish and stuff And it's always a part of some family and it's Latin and it confuses me and it kind of like it's kind of like a hurdle To me on my way to learn about like the planet. Yeah, and it's all get fuck. I'm not gonna memorize your Latin name

Starting point is 00:41:22 I'm not some precocious genius child who knows the Latin names of clownfish. It's a clownfish. It's named after a clown. There's a movement in ecology as well because a lot of these Latin names, they were made up just for the retard who discovered them. So there's like, oh, this fish,

Starting point is 00:41:39 it's Latin name is called like Johnus Williamus or something, and people are like, don't call it, that's so confusing, like don't call it that at all. No one speaks Latin anymore. Yeah. Where's Latin, where is that by the way? I don't know. Where is Latin?

Starting point is 00:41:52 I don't know where Latin is. Can we invade it? I don't understand where Latin is. Can I, have you seen a, have you ever been in a restaurant and you go, is this Latin food? Is that a thing? Is that a culture? Is that even real? But is this Latin food? Is that a thing? Is that a culture? Is that even real?

Starting point is 00:42:05 What is Latin food? Spanish? I believe that's Spanish food, yeah. So when you say we got Latin food, it's not Mexican, you're not saying the specific. I think it's when you're confused and you don't want to designate it. You just say it's Latin.

Starting point is 00:42:18 You go, it's Latin. It's rice. We had Hispanic food. Yeah, we had rice and beans and some shit, it's Latin. Hispanic's like a bullshit thing to say too, because there's no like Hispaniola, I think that's like a made up thing by. Yeah, that's why I just say, I say Mexican.

Starting point is 00:42:31 And they speak Spanish, but if you're a Spaniard it's from Spain, but you're in fucking Mexico. And if I say you speak Mexican, I'm an ignorant white guy. Yeah, and that's an easy one to mix up. It's easy to say, like they're speaking Mexican, like you're not even trying to be racist's easy to say, they're speaking Mexican. You're not even trying to be racist. It's just, they're speaking Mexican. And then Brazilians with their fancy horse shit.

Starting point is 00:42:50 Speak Spanish, retard. Yeah, speak Spanish, thank you. Speak Spanish, you fucking black Mexican. I saw City of God. Yeah, you fucking criminals. They do have, to be fair, Brazil has, if you look at the list of the 20 most dangerous countries in the world, Brazil fucking criminals. They do have, to be fair, Brazil has like, if you look at the list of the 20 most dangerous countries in the world, Brazil has like 19.

Starting point is 00:43:09 Brazil was. Yeah, it's a dangerous country when I'm there. Brazil's crazy. Bitch, you better duck. If they're like, I'm firing. There's like a kid stealing like hubba bubba and they'll just shoot him in the head. Like a guy on a motorcycle,

Starting point is 00:43:20 he's still like a star bird. The economy is guys stealing the same wallets on motorbikes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:30 It's the transfer of wealth. It's just the transfer of wealth. There's four dollars in all of Brazil, and they just steal, everybody steals it to buy different shit. No, Brazil is like, they have like the reverse purge where like one day a year during carnival they don't kill each other. Yeah. But every other day. It's a reverse purge. like one day a year during carnival. They don't kill each other Yeah, but every other day

Starting point is 00:43:47 Every other day though you can kill whoever the fuck who gives it 24 hours of no killing. Yeah, Dave Kay I have a I have a friend who he knocked up a he's been dating a Brazilian woman for years Knocked her up nice big tits. She taught Yeah, big ass big lips on her pussy. Yeah, big tits? She talk, oh. Yeah. Big ass, big lips on her pussy though. Big, big culo? Yeah, she's Brazilian. What's a culo? She's looking Brazilian.

Starting point is 00:44:10 Ass. Now Devin's speaking Latin. Big tatas? Quit with the Latin, I'm sick of it. Does she take nice cacas? That's why I got you asking. I was like, the thing, you find out he's just a shit guy. Does she have, uh? Cacas? The way you find out he's just a shit guy.

Starting point is 00:44:28 Does she have big tits? Does she have big tits? Bigger caca? I feel like a Brazilian woman, you could like fuck her in areola. You could fuck her nipple, you stick your dick in her nipple and fuck it. You could wrap her nipples around your dick and fuck him.

Starting point is 00:44:41 But it's gotta be a thing, right? Yeah, no, their nipples look like squid arms. You can just wrap them all around the shit. The hole that the milk shoots out of in the nipple, you could probably fuck that if you stretch it out, right? And then fuck the titty, but would that kill them? Brazilians are basically Robert Crumb drawings. They're insane looking.

Starting point is 00:44:57 Yeah. Can a woman email me and be like, yes, you can fuck nipple holes, or no, you can't? Yeah. They're super angry, too, because can fuck nipple holes or no, you can't. They're like super angry too because they have that cat piss thing over there. They do what, they drink cat piss? Like 75% of the population has like,

Starting point is 00:45:13 they're more aggressive than normal. Oh, because the cat piss disease. They have like toxoplasmosis, whatever. So like every night, like, you know, Brazilian men and women just go like, die! Because they all have like zombies. They have cat zombie diseases. And they drink cat piss?

Starting point is 00:45:28 No, it's just- But you get it from cat shit. You get it just from being around cat piss and cats. They get the praying mantis worm disease. Yeah. They're taken over by a pair. It's like a 28 days later type of thing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:39 But only in Brazil. No, yeah, every, yeah. Inside every Brazilian's head is the little guy from Men in Black, basically. Remember when we had the World Cup there, and the only nice part was where the soccer was being played, and outside was just hell on earth. Oh, yeah, no, you're watching the World Cup,

Starting point is 00:45:54 and it sounded like Zone of Interest, just in the background. You hear people screaming and machine guns going off. But so anyway, this friend of mine, he knocked up his Brazilian girlfriend, now wife, and she convinced him to move to Brazil. And he's in, I forget the country, the city, he's in like the second most dangerous city

Starting point is 00:46:12 in the world right now. Yeah, but could he like hack off like a big juicy fruit with a sword in his backyard? I mean he could, but he'd probably get lynched. Rio de Janeiro or whatever? Something like that. It's like number two, it's not number one. And he's just like, I, every day is hell. Yeah, he's getting taxed and. Rio de Janeiro or whatever. Something like that. It's like number two, it's not number one,

Starting point is 00:46:25 and he's just like, I, every day is hell. He's getting taxed and robbed by like eight year olds holding their Uzis at him. Yeah, they're stealing lunch money from him. Yeah, it's like a grown 35 year old man. I think I'd wear like a linen shirt where I only button like the middle button. My chest is really hairy and I walk around in sandals

Starting point is 00:46:42 and like short white shorts and like a big fedora. And'm a pedophile like fuck kids and smoke cigarettes. I smoke rolled cigarettes and I fuck children Yeah, they go do not don't fuck with him Don't fuck with him That is a That's a Blanco Diablo Do not fuck with him I'm a gay guy who fucks kids But I'm on the land And they don't call you a pedophile they go he's just a gay guy. I'm a gay gay flex kid. But I'm on the land.

Starting point is 00:47:06 And they don't call you a pedophile, they go, he's just a gay guy. But you try to sell it as like some international like man of mystery. You go, I love, what can I say, I love the women. They're like, no, you're a gay pedophile. I'm like, yeah, but only if they're orphans. Yeah, you're walking into bars, you're going, you know Hemingway said that the Brazilians are the Marlin of the land.

Starting point is 00:47:30 Yeah, I'm reading like a paperback of like For Whom the Bell Tolls. Yeah. And I'm just like, I look up, I'm like, boy, when do you get out of school? And you're so. I'm ashing my sick. I have a really shitty thin mustache yours And so comes up to me and they go hey, you know, you don't have to be a pedophile, right? I'm like what huh? I'm like, but I'm a white guy in Brazil

Starting point is 00:47:56 Where the hell else in my hair? And you're in maybe in the witness protection program. Yeah Yeah, I'm not a pedophile at all. Yeah, and you don't, you don't get it. I hate being a pedophile. Come to think of it. You don't. Come to think of it.

Starting point is 00:48:13 I'm just fulfilling some weird stereotype where I'm on a train constantly drinking Scotch whiskey and I'm dabbing my forehead all the time. I'm sweaty. A pedophile that has a come to Jesus moment where he's like, well, No, I guess I'm not actually He's a guy who experimented in college. He's like well. I'm sorry You know I I struggle on that child for quite a long time

Starting point is 00:48:41 Talking about how he fucked his brain up with drugs in the early days. He's like, and I fucked my share of kids in the early days. He goes, hi, my name is Ben and I'm a recovered pedophile. It's been two days since I fucked a kid. I'm digesting a Big Mac, two five-layer beefy burritos, a chalupa, a taco, two large Baja blasts, a Coke, and a large fry. You got a food court in that stomach right now. Feels good, man.

Starting point is 00:49:11 Yeah. It feels fucking great. I love getting out of the house one day a week and just going crazy. I know, you do alchemy for triglycerides and shit. I just turn on Run Through the Jungle. Yeah. I turn it up as loud as While you're eating yeah, we're eating just chili in your car

Starting point is 00:49:35 I put on Viet I put on soundtracks that they listen to in helicopters during Vietnam This is the Listen to the doors. Yeah, this is the Yeah, you're eating the David Hasselhoff burger You do weird Jim Morrison moves The angel Reese meal, my friend. Ah! The Luxbox, my friend. Ah! Ah!

Starting point is 00:50:26 Dun dun dun da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Come on come on come on feed me babe feed me babe Can't you see that I want a bb5 layer burrito? Yeah, can you look like Jim Morrison in Paris at the end you look like Jim Morrison now It did rule that he got fat of shit is medially and then died that I didn't know he got fat and died He got fat with a big beard and he lived in a speed run Elvis thing We just got super fat and yeah fleshed himself down dude. He literally did Elvis in like 18 months. It was crazy. Yeah That was why apparently he was really stinky too. He really smelled like shit Well, I could have told you that but that's from all the pussy those guys get so much pussy. They start to stank Yeah, they go bad on the vine

Starting point is 00:51:12 Yeah, they can't tell the stinking anymore cuz there's too much pussy They got like earthworms growing in their balls like a bad apple Yeah, we you go down there to suck their dick and say hello to and then a bird swoops down and eats the worm One of the balls hatches Their ball their ball hatches and like a like a pea plant grows out of it Like when you were when you did a side experiment as a kid and grew a bean in the window I truly believe if you get too much pussy, your dick just, it rots. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:47 Like how is that not, if it soaks in enough weird pussies, first of all, there's tons of weird bacteria in pussies. We all have Staphylococcus on us. Did you know that? What's Staphylococcus? The thing you had in high school. Oh, staph infection? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:52:01 I don't know if you want to be public about that, but. I mean, it's fine. I got scratched by a black guy playing a basketball game and he gave me a staph infection. Yep. That's the original, that's the first draft of It Follows. Yeah, I thought it was turning me black. I panicked. No, I was going up for a rebound and a black guy scratched me under the armpit and then

Starting point is 00:52:18 I was like, that hurt. Then it felt weird and then I had pimples and the next day I woke up and it just exploded into open sores and shit. Jason was like diet of sepsis or whatever. But what happened was. He had some bullshit going on. Hey guys, counting calories is boring. Let Factor do the heavy lifting for you.

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Starting point is 00:53:32 code factor podcast at factor meals dot com slash factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Thank you, factor. And and now back to the show. Back to the show. Everybody's covered in staph. So you're covered with all this bad bacteria, and if you have an open cut on your skin, which is a precious organ, that bacteria can make its way inside us all.

Starting point is 00:53:58 Oh my god. And Staphylococcus is one of the worst things you can get. You get sepsis, it goes to... Yeah. Yeah. It's a flesh-eating bacteria where if this is pre... If this is before the days of penicillin and everything and antibiotics, you get a staph infection, you die. You get gangrene, you get a...

Starting point is 00:54:15 That's not good. And then by the way, people that survive sepsis, the blood poisoning from the staph and everything, they have this thing called the sepsis nightmares, where people that, and you can get sepsis too, I think, for eating poop. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I gotta make some phone calls.

Starting point is 00:54:33 Shit. Yeah. I'm the guy who's trying to- We're just like Jason and I started sweating really heavily. We're the guys who're trying to quit poop. Is it true that you get sepsis for eating poop as well? Like if you drink like sewer water. Let me call my doctor friend real quick. Maybe I'm mixing with the get sepsis from eating poop as well? Like if you drink like sewer water? Let me call my doctor friend real quick.

Starting point is 00:54:47 Maybe I'm mixing with the word sepsis and septic. I know you can get like weird brain bacteria from eating humans from being a cannibal. You like shake and shit if you're humans I think. The rabies is the one that freaks me out. Have you ever seen like rabies in a person? Yeah. One of those videos. Where a guy can't drink the water?

Starting point is 00:55:03 And there is part of me, it is scary, but there's also part of me where I'm like, just drink it, you fucking weirdo. You can't drink the fucking water? You ever seen a coyote with rabies? Yeah, yeah, it's a rabie. They're terrifying. Yeah, with the foam just dropping out of their mouth, yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:20 Sepsis is caused by any type of infection. I thought you get it from eating poop as well, but I don't know, I'm weirdly obsessed with eating poop and drinking pee, and I don't know why. And I make everything about eating poop and drinking pee. Yeah, you're at your daughter's doctor's appointment, you're like, well she might get chicken pox, you're like, you get that from eating poop, right?

Starting point is 00:55:40 Can she eat poop? She's, Doc, I'm gonna be honest with you, she's been eating a lot of poop. Doc, she doesn't eat my dinner. I'm gonna say, can you get sepsis from eating poo? What happens if you eat poo, from medical news today? Eating feces can lead to illness and infection. Okay, that's good to know.

Starting point is 00:56:04 Can you get sepsis? Diarrheal pathogens may translocate from gut to bloodstream and cause sepsis. Okay, so I'm not a retard. There you go, yeah, look at that. Yeah, how about that? Okay, so. The AI answer was you can get sick from feces,

Starting point is 00:56:19 but it depends on the type of feces. Yeah. So like, a diarrhea is worse than like Of course diarrhea is worse. Hard shit. Who knows maybe it's better. Could know cause there's more bacteria in diarrhea cause you're like shedding your stomach lining

Starting point is 00:56:32 and everything else right? Yeah but it could pass through your body quicker cause it's diarrhea. So you're less likely to get infected. Jace is a genius. You know what's funny, if this was 300 years ago we would be like the head of Harvard Medical. We'd be in big wigs.

Starting point is 00:56:48 With this base level knowledge, yeah. Diarrhea's faster. Yeah, we'd be in these big wigs, and we'd go like, I think diarrhea's better. And then you'd stand up, you'd be like, you cock sucker! Is it like, is it a, what's that name? Guy, Peterson versus Zizek? Yeah, yeah, there'd be a big,

Starting point is 00:57:05 there'd be the big great poop debate in the town hall, and then we'd get in a big fight, and then we'd have a duel over it, and we'd both get shot in the gut, and then die 12 months later. Okay, so here's the thing about sepsis, though. If you get over it, it's sort of like, you know when people get lightning strikes,

Starting point is 00:57:20 and then they can survive it, but they have debilitating pain, and weird visions of hell hell and crazy shit happens. So sepsis is one of those diseases where even if you do fight it off and you get antibiotics and the whole thing you go to the doctor there's this sepsis syndrome that like 50% of people develop after they get it, and the symptoms of it is the worst shit I've ever heard in my life. What is it?

Starting point is 00:57:50 It's nightmares, lack of self-confidence, and the third thing is night terrors. So it's nightmares, night terrors, which is different from a nightmare. Because in a night terror you're still awake. Night terrors you wake up and you can't move and then you see the hat man in the corner, right? I've had night terrors twice.

Starting point is 00:58:12 There's this little guy. I've had it once, yeah. Well there's this little guy that has showed up in my nightmares three times now. Oh, I've got some bad news for you. That was a guy that raped you when we were kids. I thought you didn't remember that. Mom and dad let a little man rape me. That's so fucked.

Starting point is 00:58:29 No, sorry, there's a little guy that appears in your nightjams. He's like a homunculus guy. I hate that. I hate him so much, and I've seen him three times now. Once or twice has been the only time I've ever had sleep paralysis. And he's at the foot of my bed, and he's eating me from the feet up. times now, once or twice has been the only time I've ever had sleep paralysis. And he's at the foot of my bed, and he's eating me from the feet up.

Starting point is 00:58:49 Jesus. His mouth looks like Aristotle's lantern. You know that thing that's a big circle with teeth all the way around it? Okay, I don't. I don't know why it's called an Aristotle's lantern. I get the picture of it, yeah. So his mouth is round, and there's teeth

Starting point is 00:59:04 all the way around it, and he has demon eyes and a big I get the picture of it, yeah. So his mouth is round and there's teeth all the way around it and he has demon eyes and a big pointy kind of gnome hat. He's a little fucked up guy. Couple other times he's been chasing me through the woods. I don't have repeat villains in my nightmares. This little fucker has been following me since I was like 19 and I can't figure out where he's from or what happened, but he sometimes pops up in my,

Starting point is 00:59:29 and like fucked up like vision dreams. I hate that shit, man. I fucking hate him. And if I ever see him, it's on site. If I come across you in the woods in real life, I'm gonna fucking kill you. You hear that, Brad Williams? It sucks too that he's so terrifying and he's like two feet tall.

Starting point is 00:59:49 And it fucking hits. He walks in and he's like, you won't do shit, faggy. Thank you. He's smoking a cigarette. I had it once and it was just like, yeah, I couldn't move and there was like a woman I couldn't see in the corner. Like long, almost like ringy, grudgy type looking woman. Yeah, I couldn't move and there was like a woman I couldn't see in the corner like long

Starting point is 01:00:10 Almost like ringy grudgy type looking woman, and it was just it was horrifying I was just like there for like 20 minutes kind of do chick I'm move it makes sense because you have weird relationships with women and like pussies and stuff No, I don't and I have a complicated relationship with like little little babies little tiny guys. Yeah, I've had some weird dreams recently. I had a dream I got ready recently Jesus yeah Yeah You come dude. I fucking came my brain I'm in my dream. I go oh no

Starting point is 01:00:45 I'm in my dream, I go, oh no, don't. Don't hold me down. Did you get raped by a guy? I think I was in prison, and I think I got raped in prison. I told you, I told you I also had a dream last year that actually freaked the shit out of me, where I dreamed that I got shot in the head and died. And it was, it was, it was unfortunately a black guy in the dream, shot me and I died.

Starting point is 01:01:18 Why is that unfortunate? It was so, because I'm a lib, I wanted it to be a white guy who shot me in my dream. Oh right, yeah you it to be a white guy who shot me in my dream. Oh, right. Yeah, you wanted to be Trump, actually. It was very insane because I felt like my head opened up. And I felt myself, it was like the guy pulled the gun out, and I go, whoop, and then I felt my head open up. And then I had the thought of this is it. There's no more.

Starting point is 01:01:39 That's terrifying. This is the last second of my life. And then I woke up. And I felt like genuinely, I had the emotions of I had been shot. It was like insane. Yeah I've had a dream where I like I think I killed myself when I woke up. Yeah Why did you kill yourself? I don't really remember my dreams or analyze them very hard Yeah, I don't remember my dreams much when things are going well When things are going bad like I wake then they're all

Starting point is 01:02:04 I told you I have to live with them throughout the day When things are going well. When things are going bad, like I wake up, I'm like, oh my God, fuck. I have to live with them throughout the day. I told you, I dreamed about fighting Dad for like seven years straight. Like every night, I just fought my Dad, like in a fist fight. Who usually won? It was, I literally came up with this theory

Starting point is 01:02:17 that I think I was getting mentally healthier because I started winning in the dreams and I would like kick his ass. And by the final couple of times I had the dream, it was just like, I was just like curb stomping his ass and just be like, stay down bitch, fuck you. Like pissing on him. Suck my dick bitch.

Starting point is 01:02:33 And I think that was like me overcoming shit. You know what's fucked up? I do dream about family members sometimes. And when I do, it's almost always them dying. Yeah, you do have a lot of family dying stuff. That happened to you on mushrooms too, right? You saw all of us dying. Oh yeah, I did.

Starting point is 01:02:50 I forgot about that. Yeah. I was looking at a photograph of the family and it was just you guys growing very old and to the point where you were like skeletons, like the Goosebumps crypt keeper guy. Cheers. And then you guys would go all the way back.

Starting point is 01:03:03 Then you, in the span of like 10 seconds, you'd grow young again all the way back to when you were babies. And I saw you become nothing and then swing back the other way all the way to skeletons in the grave again. Yeah, yeah. You just kept swinging back and forth. Yeah, yeah. There's some things deep in our synapses that I just don't think are going to leave ever,

Starting point is 01:03:22 but that's fine. That's okay. Yeah, I don't think that's a big deal though I don't really I don't really think so either yeah, but it's just every once a while that flares up I'm like good. You know like fucking forgot about that type of shit You know yeah, I mean all that all that shit's like crybaby shit Yeah, fuck fuck feelings and shit You guys are crybabies

Starting point is 01:03:42 Fuck feelings and shit. You guys are crybabies? You guys are crybabies? Some guy gets mad at me and every time I bring up, I tell a story about dad with the dirt and then some guy's always like, why don't you stop crying about your child? I'm like, I just told a funny story about my dad being a retard.

Starting point is 01:03:59 Does it really sound like I'm complaining? Yeah, that's the guy, if you kept talking to me, be like, my dad raped me and I'm fine. I only message you every all the time tell you to stop being a bitch. I'm fine, dog. I was a baby. He caught me tripping. My dad raped me when I was a baby.

Starting point is 01:04:18 Dude, my dad raped me when I was a baby. It's like, it's like baller, actually, because you're like installed like grind set and shit Okay, rising grind. Yeah, like rising. I'm trying to create an empire to make up for my dad Pops was upset. I wasn't grinding If I was on my MMA shit early enough he would have been sorry that day. But I wasn't a grinder yet. Joe Rogan hadn't even released a podcast episode. I didn't know how to grind.

Starting point is 01:04:51 I didn't know how to deal with that shit. I didn't know how to deal with that shit. Until Rogan started his experience. And look at me now, I'll work at 7-Eleven. One day I'm gonna be manager of two 7-Elevens. And you're gonna suck my dick. If you're the manager of a 7-Eleven, don't you make insane money? I don't think manager of 7-Elevens. And you're gonna suck my dick. If you're the manager of a 7-Eleven, don't you make insane money?

Starting point is 01:05:07 I don't think manager of 7-Eleven. I think manager of an In-N-Out makes decent money. Yeah, if it's close to my house. Yeah. Hey, look at you. No, but seriously, if you're the manager of a- Yes, you make good money at a 7-Eleven. In-N-Out, you make good money.

Starting point is 01:05:21 If you're the manager of a 7-Eleven, do you just have a crossbow and you sit on the roof with like Molotov cocktails ready? Yeah, you're just defending the store from looters every night. Yeah, you're just like a Pakistani guy This is a you just fending off. Yeah, you know you moved to America and you became a judge dread for 7-elevens Yeah, I follow LA scanner on X now because of the fires Yeah Yeah, I follow la scanner on X now because I have fires Yeah, and like pretty much every other night a thing will pop up that there was a like a guy shot at a Convenience store and I'll be like that's the I go to that gas station like two days ago Mm-hmm, and then another one will pop up the next day. I'm like damn to get I'm like are the gas stations by my house

Starting point is 01:06:02 No, they're constantly getting wrong. They happen robbed? They happen, you just have to always hope wherever it's not happening when you go. Exactly. I'm really careful when I get out of the car now and I look around before I go into the gas station. The gas station down the street from me, I go there constantly, I'm first name basis with the guy. They're robbed all the time at Gunport.

Starting point is 01:06:18 Never when I'm in there. Oscar's been working there forever, and you see him sometimes and he's shaking up, right? Literally 10 times in my life I've gone in there and he's like Walking into the like the doughnut scene in boogie nights The gun in my mouth man They killed my dog. He goes untie me.

Starting point is 01:06:47 Man, shit. They teabagged my shit. Yeah, no, it's like. So why does he, but it's not good. He says he calls the cops and he's like, they don't, there's nothing to do. They don't really care. But how much is he really making an hour there

Starting point is 01:07:00 at this point, maybe? I don't know. He said masked men will come in with a gun and rob him. But it can't be, he's not behind glass. I know, I go, do you guys even have a safe? He's like, no. And they don't let him have a gun either, because it's cucko-fornia.

Starting point is 01:07:12 No, it's one of the most. So on top of that, it's insane homeless schizophrenic people walking into. But it's one of the statistically, and John Knopf. And me. Yeah, and John Knopf. It's one of the most dangerous jobs in America,

Starting point is 01:07:23 like statistically. And it pays bad. No, it's like they die most dangerous jobs in America like statistically it pays bad No, it's like they die. They die like more than like cops and firefighters It would be safer to run into a burning building every night of your life than to sell Twinkies at a 7-11 It's crazy cuz it's just a guy at the end of his eight-hour shift. He's just been Checking fat kids out Peas people buy lotto tickets and the guy walks in with a double-barrel shotgun and blows the back of his house $13 this sounds really fucked up, but a lot of I think

Starting point is 01:07:55 Criminals are starting out like they look at those guys like if they're gonna kill it's like a practice kill Yeah, you're not like a you're you know, you're not killing a you're like you're like a hooker or something. Yeah What like it's a GTA kind of yeah, I think like, you know how hookers die Like like yeah, I probably people out there that aren't serial killers, but they're Sociopathic murderers and they've maybe killed one hooker. I've just gone on you remember though that really you drive through You know a street where they're in the street and shit, and you take them to an alleyway, and who would ever know? You shoot them in the head and they kick them out of the car.

Starting point is 01:08:28 There was that black serial killer who killed like 100 women over the course of like 40 years. The cops didn't do anything. And why did he do that, you think? Because they were black. Because they charged too much. Yeah. They were mean to him.

Starting point is 01:08:40 They called the city a tiny thing. No, there's a... You remember that livestream, remember, where we had a tiny dick. No, there's a, you remember that live streamer where we watched like that black rapper in Memphis was just like, I'm gonna kill somebody right now. And he just, I think it's literally just like, they know there's a guy there. Oh yeah, the guy in Memphis.

Starting point is 01:08:55 He went live in a auto zone. He was like, I'm gonna kill first wife motherfucker I see. And he walked in, he shot a Mexican guy in the head. And he just was like, we up in this bitch, we kill motherfuckers and this shit. He goes, gang gang, I'm a victim of my circumstances, gang gang. He acted, he was acting like he was all hard

Starting point is 01:09:12 because he was walking up behind old ladies and blowing their head off live on Facebook. That shit turns me into Kamiya times 10. That shit makes me insane. The only way you can describe that is as a rampage. He went on a black rampage. No, it's literally like when you see a bee that's gone insane.

Starting point is 01:09:27 And it's like, when you see a bee that's trying to kill a dog or something by itself, you're like, oh, this thing needs to be crushed because it's lost the ability to exist in society. But what about why you bring up that black guy? Well, so what I'm saying is I think that it's literally just like, hey, I'm gonna kill somebody. that it's literally just like, hey, I'm going to kill somebody. Because it's gang shit.

Starting point is 01:09:48 It's 3 AM. Where's a guy I can kill? It's gang shit. There's an AMPM there. There's a guy. I can kill them. Get some money and kill, yeah. So they're listening to songs from rappers

Starting point is 01:09:57 who haven't actually killed. And they're talking about, kill them, motherfuckers. And then they go out. Some of the rappers that are listening probably have killed. Are they incarcerated? They should be behind bars if they're rapping about murdering homies. There's very rappers in Chicago that were literally

Starting point is 01:10:08 like King Von and little, these guys have killed 20 people. Yeah, yeah. How are they allowed to get in the studio? Like they should be in jail, right? Well some rappers have kind of sent themselves to jail for rapping about their own murders and shit. Like Young Thug, they were playing Young Thug lyrics like in court, where he's just like,

Starting point is 01:10:26 I'm gonna kill everybody I see all the time. And then Young Thug's sitting there in his glasses, his I didn't kill anybody glasses. And he's just like, it's satire, actually. So some people listen to like Kanye or Jay-Z or whatever and they think it's like cute that they're rapping about getting bitches, because they're it's cute that they're rapping about getting bitches,

Starting point is 01:10:46 because you don't even rap about murdering people. Swinging coke or shit. Like beheading people. And I think that's- So a lot of rap is, you're basically an ISIS. That's the thing that drives me- You're a terrorist. Crazy, I watched the documentary a long time ago.

Starting point is 01:10:59 I can't find it again, but it was about the hip hop industry, and it was this black professor from Harvard. And he went and he interviewed a bunch of rappers, people who were trying to make it. Every single one was doing like, gang, gang, we out here with the diamonds and shirt. And then...

Starting point is 01:11:16 The diamonds and shirt. I mean, they're talking like retards, if I can be honest. They're like, I fucking, I'll rape a woman right now. I'll take her life from her and shit. I'm gonna kill everybody on the bus. I'll fucking kick a baby, fuck him. And then he, and then he like goes,

Starting point is 01:11:37 I'll kick a baby, I'll put a cigarette on a dog, fuck you. I'm a sociopath. I'll let my environment shape me, motherfucker. And then he's like, okay, we're good. And then he pretends to turn the camera off. And then you just hear them be like, oh, okay, thanks for featuring me. And then a lot of them that he talked to were like, yeah, I don't even like doing the fucking gang gang shit. But they're like, I tried to get signed to a label, and every one of them, they go into a label,

Starting point is 01:12:07 there's like an old white guy who's like, we need you to rap about like fucking bitches and killing and like gang shit in order to sell records. Is he a J or is it white? Is it white or J? I'm leaving that up to you. All right, whatever. I'm leaving that up to your interpretation. But yeah whatever. I'm leaving that up to your interpretation.

Starting point is 01:12:25 But so I think it's like literally like old white guys who maybe J's in a room just being like, make them kill each other. Make them descend into chaos. Make them fight. Yeah. And maybe, I don't know, maybe I sound like Al Gore when I say that shit.

Starting point is 01:12:39 No, it's probably a Calvin Candy type of record producer. Yeah. Who's like, let them descend into chaos. It only makes me more money. He has Chief Keef and Lil Durk in an office. He goes, send them into chaos. I want you to destroy. I want Jamaica Queens to look like a war zone.

Starting point is 01:13:02 Get to rapping. Patreon.com slash Lemon Party. Patreon.com. And Devon, am I out of bounds? No, no, slash Lemon Party. Patreon.com. I don't know, Devon, am I out of bounds? No, no, I wasn't. You're right. No, you can't walk any of this back. This is the end of the episode, and it is what it is.

Starting point is 01:13:13 I don't care about walking it back. I was just like, am I off pace? I wasn't silent because I was judging you. No, no. Well, I know you want to keep up your lib persona. I know. It's doing me so many wonders. Being the pretend lib on the show is doing me so many wonders. I'm actually the lib. Yeah, bitch. Yeah, fuck you

Starting point is 01:13:30 I'm the lib. I'm the base lib. Well, I mean we're watching everybody fucking sneak I was like, I don't I actually hate politics and shit. They're all walking that shit back Everyone's trying to distance themselves. Yeah, because it's everything is an edgy reddit gay. Yeah Yeah, because you're right. Yeah, you, because you're calling Hitler the N-word. There's like 400 people on Twitter doing that right now. So now they have to walk it back and be like, I'm woke actually. Me, my morality is based around what, the opposite.

Starting point is 01:13:58 Yeah, so I'll walk in that shit back. Yeah, hopefully someone puts Kanye down like a dog before it's too sad. He's dead, he's already dead. No, he's dead. That should have happened in 2017. At this point, the only people outraged by this are boomers. Their kids used to make them listen to Kanye, and they've listened to Kanye, and they're

Starting point is 01:14:18 like, what the fuck is this? It's like... But all of us are like, all right, that's sad. When he goes on live and he's doing it, it's just like... It's sad. You said it's like, it's a... But all of us are like, all right, that's sad. When he goes on live and he's doing it, it's just, yeah. It's like, it's just like a, it's a... It's sad. Oh, you said it's like watching a dead guy. A dead body covered in maggots,

Starting point is 01:14:31 being like, yo, Nazis, and everyone, like, who cares, you're dead. Dude, you died in 2017. You've been dead for eight years. I'm choosing to think you're dead because I love you so much, and I'm so tired of this. Can I tell you, legitimately, when I heard that he had made himself retired with NOS, there was a part of me that was really sad

Starting point is 01:14:48 but also part of this like, oh thank God. Like now I finally know what it is. When I see him do that shit, I'm just like, I don't wanna have to have a real conversation with somebody about Kanye's legacy because of this shit. Yeah, I don't care. I don't care. Also listen to Life of Pablo, I don't care.

Starting point is 01:15:04 Has my favorite, he probably has my favorite music of all time, so, suck my ass. Yeah, in early Kanye, you listen to like, heard him say, and it's like, well, he's a very smart, intelligent guy. God knows the rooms that that man has been in over the course of time. God knows the situations he's been in,

Starting point is 01:15:19 and he's a mentally unstable person. Yeah, so, whatever. He's got schizophrenia, you know? God bless him. It's common. I mean, he like wants, he's, you know, he's like a neo, he's a black neo-Nazi. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:33 He's like hanging out with the Klan. He's like, kill me. Well, I used to love him too. He's like lynching himself. Yeah. We all going to jail tonight. He goes, oh no, give me the rope. I take the rope from you. You know what's funny is like I used to love him

Starting point is 01:15:48 because he made music so interesting and he made life so interesting and everything he did was interesting and now I'm just, I just see him inhaling Hitler on X and I'm bored. Yeah, it's bored. That's what's the saddest thing to me is that I'm bored out of my mind. The etymology of it is just him going like

Starting point is 01:16:04 look at me, pay attention to me. Because he etymology of it is just him going like, look at me, pay attention to me. Because he's not the thing. Yeah, he's not the thing anymore. He started doing it right before Kendrick did like the Superbowl and stuff, you know. Yeah, he did it because he can't make good albums anymore. He was trying to insert himself in the Kendrick Drake thing and everyone was like, nobody cares. He was literally saying like, don't worry, Kendrick, I got it from here.

Starting point is 01:16:20 And people were like, this is really sad. It's starting to remind me of like Will Smith releasing fucking dubstep records and shit Just the edgy gen x dad yeah walk in the living room like no I like I love Hitler too actually I actually I actually think Hitler is cooler than you do and the thing is You ruined Hitler Dude, no, we have to love Stalin. Yeah, we have the love we're fucking communists now cuz you love Hitler bitch And he will have a song he'll have like one or two songs That'll come out and we'll be like, yeah

Starting point is 01:16:57 And you're like that's great and then you know, it's two and a half minutes or whatever And then it's like probably AI or fake AI and then it's back to the same 45 songs in a row they kind of don't really make a mark or anything. He's making like rap music now I mean, it's this is what happens when Ty Dolla Signs the only person willing to work Ty Dolla Signs that desperate Ty Dolla Signs the one he's he's When even JPEG they're partying at Auschwitz right now, recording an album.

Starting point is 01:17:27 Album release at Dachau. It's him playing Ultralight Beam for the first time and he's in the gas chambers. We on an Ultralight Beam, this is a gas stream, this is a gas stream. This a death machine. We gonna actually make the number six million tonight. Turn the chambers on, bitch.

Starting point is 01:17:51 Beautiful chamber, beautiful chamber this morning, bae. All I ever wanted. Turns out his fantasy really was dark and twisted. Hey, hey. Wasn't it, folks? You're damn right. You know why there's no more parties in LA? He killed all the Jews.

Starting point is 01:18:06 Yep. Mm. Folks. Folks. Anyway. Anyway, that shit made me sad and shit. I'm gonna tweet at him tonight cause I love educating a black man on the timeline.

Starting point is 01:18:18 Yeah. Okay, let me educate your black ass. The shit he's doing. That's right. That's right. That's right, you educate myself your black ass He's doing the only guy like that is like the type of guy to take the bait on this is like Keith Olbermann's like the last guy like I'm Like why can't he be more like him and him yeah that fucking retard. Yeah, Keith Olmen's like,

Starting point is 01:18:42 why can't he be more like Eminem? Yeah. My favorite rapper, Eminem. Well, in closing, I want to shout out to Kanye West, shout out to Taco Bell, shout out to McDonald's. Shout out to Tide Dollar Sign. Shout out to Oscar, who works at the AMVM. Eminem, RIP Oscar at the AMVM.

Starting point is 01:18:59 Yeah, preeminent. Preeminent RIP. Rest in peace to every gas station employee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, rest in power, Rafi. Future rest in peace to every single gas station employee across the country.

Starting point is 01:19:15 I swear, every crime alert is that a guy, an Indian guy, got shot in the face at a 7-Eleven. No, they're human whack-a-mole in LA. It's insane. Yeah. If you actually, Karen Bass Institute, if you kill five Indian 7-Eleven managers in a row, you get like a little bonus reward.

Starting point is 01:19:31 You get a sixth guy for free. Fuck. Karen ass. Which is actually, it's actually fair if you're an Indian Nazi, by the way, because like, you know, you statistically know a guy who's been shot in the face with a sawed off gun, a guy hopped out of a Nissan Optima

Starting point is 01:19:49 with a.357 Magnum and shot your friend in the turban. Yeah, yeah, a guy who owns a car that costs 15 grand pulled out a gun that costs 35 grand. And turned you into curry. Yeah. And turned a curry Yeah, he turned you into the slurpee He's stuffed your body on the slurpee machine cherry bitch He was easy to shoot his head was huge

Starting point is 01:20:27 All right now we're now we're getting to the point of You stinky One of his name was a poo yeah, do that would kick Who You named after a dookie? A poo? That guy in Kansas has no idea what he's talking about. That guy in Kansas is right. Is your last name a P? We should have actually named the podcast Echo Chamber. Echo Chamber, yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:55 That would have been a good name. Patreon.com slash Lemon Party, Long Live Lemon Party. We're gonna fight back, we're gonna fight YouTube. Fight! We're gonna win. Fight! Fight! You gotta fight! Fight! You're gonna fight YouTube. We're gonna win. We're gonna win. Fight, you gotta fight. Fight. You're gonna fuck it.

Starting point is 01:21:08 Okay. Okay. Okay. ["The Old Town"] Out in the west Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Music would play and Polita would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polita Wicked and evil while casting a spell My love was deep for this Mexican maid I was in love but in vain I could tell

Starting point is 01:22:06 One night a while young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind

lemonparty - 122: City of God

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