lemonparty - 123: Blood Feud

Starting point is 00:00:00 We just watched the Oscars, Devin Costa, give us the deets. Your boy Sean Baker won, you love him, you can't get enough of him, you're inspired by him. Take us through, what were you thinking when you saw your boy accepting the award for best something? I don't really, I didn't care. I was pretty outraged the whole night that the racist tranny wasn't appreciated. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:52 You know what feels good about it? Is you get to call her tranny. She tweeted about George Floyd so much. She's a racist, dyke, tranny thing. And that's woke. We're allowed to say that now. It's woke to say her neck looks like an NFL linebackers. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:01:08 Because she tweeted about George Floyd like he was a monkey in Wizard of Oz. Didn't she tweet in America there's so many apes on TV? The French people love calling black people apes by the way. They can't stop themselves from doing it. Zoe Saldana won for the piece of shit, Amelia Perez movie that I hope the cartel gets their hands on the whole cast and crew. And they forced the director to get sex change operation?

Starting point is 00:01:35 No, they cut their heads off. But. Put their hat on a big tortuga? Yeah, so Zoe Saldana, black woman, she won best embarrassment or something. Best retarget. Most embarrassing.

Starting point is 00:01:48 Most embarrassing, like, you know, fake award. And if you looked closely, the camera at one point cuts to the crowd and Carla, Sofia Gascon, is holding a big sign that says the N word on it. Just a big N bomb. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And she kept, she could see or she whispers

Starting point is 00:02:08 to the other people around her, she goes, you know she has fentanyl on herself. That's good. Yeah, I don't, I'm happy for Enora. Good for Enora. Yeah, good for Sean Baker. Four Oscars tonight. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:22 It was crazy. It was my favorite movie of the year, but it wasn't a good year for movies. But yeah, it's only gonna add fuel to the fire of people that already hated it. You know, it's kind of like not like a bad thing when you win Oscars, you know? But it also doesn't matter at all.

Starting point is 00:02:36 It's a testament against your thing you like. Yeah, because people go, what are you? Do you suck? What are you, them? Are you them now? Are you one of them? It's kind of like if we just started doing Bert Kreischer's podcast.

Starting point is 00:02:51 Which, look, then we'll kick off YouTube. We would love to. Bert, if you'll have us on, he follows me on Instagram for some reason. And he really cares about people that talk shit about him, so you'd think that we'd be. Yeah, he's aware of us. I thought he would have shared that sketch he made.

Starting point is 00:03:05 I can't believe he didn't fucking. He's probably getting us kicked off YouTube. Yeah, I can't believe he didn't try to help us with that. Really disappointed in all of the. Burt never reached out to me. Really disappointed in all the people we told to kill themselves, not helping us in this time of need. I know, this community, you tell them to kill themselves

Starting point is 00:03:21 a million times in a row, and they turn their back on you. I thought they would be upset that there's not a platform for us to say you should die. Yeah, you call them a human abortion. So I talked to Billy McCusker of the War Mode podcast about this, he reached out to me, thank you Billy, one of the few people to reach out. God bless you.

Starting point is 00:03:39 He said, he goes, you can't do video with the show you guys do, you gotta do audio. We never wanted to do it in the fucking first place. But everybody yelled at us when you can't do video with the show you guys do. You gotta do audio. We never wanted to do it in the fucking first place, but we felt like we had to. But everybody yelled at us when we didn't do video. That's what I told him, but. But also it helps with growth, I guess. He is right, though.

Starting point is 00:03:54 He is right. I would have loved to stay audio, but I also understand why people like video, too. But they're not allowed on YouTube either, war mode. So that is a fan-made account, he said, that uploads the audio and stuff. So when we go on our own website, there will probably be people that try to just upload

Starting point is 00:04:12 our public episodes or whatever, which do whatever you want, I don't care. There'll be a fan-made account that actually gets way bigger than we are, and they're making way more money than us. They'll monetize. Yeah, there'll be a guy called AtLimmpartyFan420, and he's driving a Bentley down the street. than us. They'll monetize. Yeah, there'll be a guy called at lemon party fan 420

Starting point is 00:04:26 and he's like driving a Bentley down the street. So what's happening right now by the way with YouTube is it's looking like they gave us another strike. On Friday. But it's not registering. It's fake again. Well they said, I think they said you're allowed to upload now because the two week time period has passed

Starting point is 00:04:41 but at first it was one week. But they gave us another strike so we should should I don't know what's going on I don't even know I'm scared to upload on it ever again I think if we do upload on it It should just be maybe we post the first 10 minutes of episodes and we censor it like all the other fucking like fake edgy shows And then we tell no, but then it's just it's a big To our side and watch the we just treat you to like a billboard now For where we're going. Yeah, well that'll just be the clips channel probably

Starting point is 00:05:08 Yeah, we'll still just have clips that we have but they're the safe for work clips on the lemon party But as long as we can upload back on the lemon party channel We need to use it as an ad to go like hey come over here now, right? Yeah I think the last thing we'll upload is a video saying hey guys. Here's our website We're not gonna post on here anymore because we're scared. Scared. Scared.

Starting point is 00:05:30 It's gonna get deleted. We are afraid. YouTube's a spooky. Yeah. It is funny, I was opening the email on Friday that says we got another strike, and every single one of those emails is like, hey, just FYI, you got a strike,

Starting point is 00:05:41 your channel, episode 85, Fuck Muslims, has been removed. And I go, why? No, that's actually the most annoying part of this whole thing, is that it's not that. It's not related to the racism, yeah. I'm more depressed by it, because I'm like, what, like gambling? Well, our first strike was hate speech,

Starting point is 00:05:59 which was, that was two years ago, and that's fair. But not even for the clip that they, they're not even good at identifying hate speech. They didn't even clip any of the parts of us saying fucking these muzzies or you going off annoying, you fucking, we're talking about black people and you just segue into the zoo or something. None of that got us.

Starting point is 00:06:23 Trans shit. It was Promoting gambling which we've never done. Well, I guess there's nothing Israel related got flagged. None of that They said they manually review None of that got promoting gambling gambling there's a show on barstool their YouTube is called barstool gambling Yeah, you sent me that I looked up I immediately typed in gambling on YouTube and these were the first I'm like this Yeah, there's they're letting Backwards hat Al Capone's have their hating all over YouTube, but we can't say yeah

Starting point is 00:06:59 We did one my bookie ad which is done ton of ads for different podcasts every every podcast has at one point done that mm-hmm So you're watching this on X You're watching this on you know if you're watching this on X. You can also go to patreon.com slash lemon party. It's free there We're building a website. We don't know what it's gonna look like When that's gonna be up, but we're working around the clock we're in the process of doing that We had our editor download all the current YouTube video, so we we don't lose anymore and those will go up on the site. That's kind of where we're at I mean, we're just sitting around watching the Oscars. I'm eating a bunch of McDonald's they're drinking themselves to death Mm-hmm just is what it is right now folks, but we're gonna fight fight fight

Starting point is 00:07:38 You gotta fight You gotta fight then we're gonna go up to a higher plane Yeah, and we're gonna snap our heels together and go higher. The right tries to say Tim Waltz also did a Nazi salute and then they post the video and Tim Waltz does this, he touches his heart and then he does this. Well that's what gay Nazis do, they go, how? Tim Waltz has a little fetus that he aborted right before before in his pocket. Yeah, he goes, he opens a locket and there's a little six week fetus and he goes,

Starting point is 00:08:08 mm, and he goes, now to go talk to my retied son on camera. There's some crazy interview with him where he's all manic. He goes, I love abortion so much, they had to tell me to stop talking about how much I love it. He tries to be a Bill Braske guy, but for insane leftist positions. Like, I wish my kid was The fuck is letting him knock them up Jesus Christ him. Yeah. Well apparently that's a Chinese lady. He was a oh, yeah

Starting point is 00:08:34 He's a big Chinese fucking the shit out of he's shooting dust up in her Yeah, guys like him after they like lose the campaign like do they just take him out in a field? Like they let them look at the stars one more time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they just take him out in a field? They let him look at the stars one more time. Yeah. They just have a gun to his back. Do they shoot him in a landfill? They take him to an abortion clinic so he can look at fetuses one last time.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Before they can look at him. Yeah, he goes in a German accent, he goes, I just think the fetuses are so beautiful tonight. I'll go take a closer, because he knows he's going to get killed. He's German? Yeah, he's German. It's the episode of Better Call Saul.

Starting point is 00:09:07 Of course. There was one guy who went up to accept his Oscar speech tonight, and he just started speaking full 1930s German. He immediately went into like, yeah. It makes everybody uneasy a little bit. Everyone was a little uncomfortable. There's also a guy, you can't do it these days.

Starting point is 00:09:21 But actually, at this point, the Jews in the crowd are like, yeah! A little bit more of that! Yeah! We're trying to get it. We're trying to. There was also a guy who won a best score for The Brutalist who was like a human sperm in a black tuxedo. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:38 That guy like floated up on stage like a vampire. And just awkwardly, he looked like a lot of Lemon Party fans, excepting, excepting an Oscar was very fun. And I was just like, I'm sorry, I just wanna thank my mom and my dad and all my friend, just thank you. They played him off immediately.

Starting point is 00:09:57 They played him off, he goes, I'm sorry, and then he walked off. He walked off with his shoulders like this in his big, for a two hands. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, the stars were out. The stars were out. Devin also informed me, speaking of-

Starting point is 00:10:10 The Bill Maher guy was in the crowd at the Oscars, too. He was. The whole Oscars was a guy going, yeah! Woo! There literally was a guy doing this. That guy's everywhere. It's the exact pitch and everything. I love that man.

Starting point is 00:10:21 Do you think they added- If you watch the Zapruder film with sound, that guy's in there. Yeah! Woo! I think the TV guys might add it the think they add it? If you watch the Zapruder film with sound, that guy's in there. Yeah! Woo! I think the TV guys might add it, the way they add bird calls and songs during PGA tour events.

Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah, how the Masters got caught adding fake birds that don't exist. They add that guy. They add that guy, yeah. Woo! The fake Bill Maher fan. They created Bill Maher with AI. A Bill Maher fan with AI, that's how they knew it's good now.

Starting point is 00:10:43 Devin told me that apparently Gal Gadot, or maybe you told me this, Gal Gadot refused to give an award because she was probably gonna give an award to a documentary that was pro-Palestinian. The Palestinian documentary about their homes getting destroyed by Israelis. It did win, she was supposed to present best documentary,

Starting point is 00:11:00 and she dropped out, so she went in. Okay, so this is a Larry Silverstein thing, where he didn't go to work that day. Okay. She knew who was going to win, so she got a tip off. Yeah. To not go into work because she was gonna have to hand a statue to someone who lost her.

Starting point is 00:11:15 The Jews that run Hollywood went up to her and they go, listen, this is the only thing we're gonna give them. Give them a little statue. Nobody cares about this one. They'll be using this fucking Academy Award as an umbrella. Okay, don't you worry your pretty little head about it. They're gonna be shooting this out

Starting point is 00:11:30 of an anti-aircraft missile soon. This Academy Award. No, I was just laughing at the idea of her presenting and they walk up and she just pulls out like a little pistol and shoots him in the belly. Hunker gun. Yeah. The little ankle strap.

Starting point is 00:11:43 Yeah, sorry babe. She stinks by the way, what a talentless whore she is. What a heck. She's very hot but fuck that. Fuck that. She's hot in the way like a classic car is hot. You don't even want to fuck her. You just want to look at her. You just go like wow great angles.

Starting point is 00:11:59 I want to look at you, I'm going to jerk off from a distance. I'm going to shit. Some of those just really go. We're not on YouTube, who gives a shit. Let it fly. I'm gonna jerk off from a distance. I'm gonna Some of those are not on YouTube who gives a shit. We can say let it fly. I'm gonna kill gal good though Hey guys if you're looking to upgrade your gaming equipment check out turtle Beach their stealth 700 headset is insane and a huge step up for any gamer It's comfortable to wear for hours on end, has an 80 hour battery life, and the sound quality is top tier. They even have the industry's first ever cross-play dual wireless transmitter system, so you can switch between your console

Starting point is 00:12:35 and your PC with the click of a button. It's a multitasker's dream. Turtle Beach has sent you what, two headphones now? Yeah, two actually, and each more sweet than the last. And you use it to game all the time. You go on Xbox Live and shit. Tune out my family. Tune out, you don't hear your child crying at all. You yell mean stuff at children.

Starting point is 00:12:56 No, I didn't even know that there was a fire approaching my house in January. I could not hear the sirens. That's how good the headphones are. Because you're too busy playing Goldeneye. Yeah, and I'm lost in the world of video games I'm lost in the digital world which is where I want to be lost that I never want to be found It's much better than life with your stupid family And if you agree from headsets and flight simulators to controllers keyboards and mice

Starting point is 00:13:20 Whatever you need turtle Beach has the ultimate cheat cheat code So head to turtle Beach calm and use code lemon for 10% off your entire order That's a 10% off your order at turtle Beach calm with promo code lemon They'll ask you where you heard about them support the show and tell them we sent you get the ultimate immersive gaming experience experience with turtle Beach today No sensor that or something doesn that, some of that Israeli pussy looks good though, right? I'll get one of those.

Starting point is 00:13:48 Oh, they've got some incredibly. They're so hot. They have an insane ratio of very thin to huge titty women in Israel. That's propaganda, supposedly. There's only like two women, like a Natalie Portman or a Gal Gadot. Those women come around once every,

Starting point is 00:14:00 it's like when Venus and Mars line up. It's so rare that something like that happens and they parade them everywhere. And then you have an idea in your head of the IDF being like Laura Croft Tomb Raider type of women. Walking around with big F cups, huge ass, 10 inch waist. Right, and they really like Bela Nostra. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:20 And it's crazy, you see the pictures of the Israeli women and they all have like blue eyes and blonde hair and it's like. You see the pictures of the Israeli women and they all have like like blue eyes and blonde hair. And it's like now you would pass like Hitler would. You'd pass like if Hitler walked down a line, you go like, no, you're not. You're allowed. Wasn't that what we were told when I was a kid? I always had this idea that we were told many things and you had to have blue eyes and blonde hair and then Hitler wouldn't kill you. Yeah. But they would like measure.

Starting point is 00:14:45 That's like what my understanding of it was. That's so retarded. When I was a kid. Well then why did he go to war with England? You know what I mean? Why did he go to war with America? That's true. He should have loved us actually.

Starting point is 00:14:54 We should have invaded and he'd be like, you guys can stay, I'll give you a citizenship. How does citizenship sound, sir? He didn't initially want to kill us or England. He just wanted us to get in line. Well he was baited into it. Because they made up a big lie about the Holocaust. They got that whole thing going.

Starting point is 00:15:10 Anyway, yeah. Yeah. Let's get out of this. Yeah. We've been down these roads before. These are well-traveled roads, brother. I'm sorry. I've yet to look into it, but it's a very popular thing on X.

Starting point is 00:15:26 We're gonna move on. We're gonna move on. What is popular on X? I'm constantly seeing things that like, the Holocaust didn't happen. And I see 900 replies and everyone's like, yep. I'm like, oh, interesting. And I look at their account to see if it's a bot

Starting point is 00:15:38 and it's not. Yeah. And I click on it to see if it's a guy from India. And I'm like, no, it's just a guy, it's a normal guy. It's a normal non-Indian guy. No, that was the very, yeah. Didn't happen. I got banned from X this week,

Starting point is 00:15:51 because I drew, to be fair, I did draw a picture of Elon getting his brains blown out, and I quote tweeted it at him. I got banned in 45 minutes, it was actually very impressive, but then I created an account, I just logged in, and the default profile, the default timeline was Hitler fan cams and Steven Bannon shit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:09 Yeah. It was like Hitler with hard eyes over. It's webcam girls saluting Hitler. Yeah, it's like K-Town clips, but with Hitler in it. And I was like, okay, but I can't do my little art or whatever. Well, it's weird, because nowadays you can agree with a lot of what a person says,

Starting point is 00:16:25 but then there's like 3% of it where they just, they don't think the Holocaust happened. You go, well I don't. You're like, jury's still out on that one for me, I guess. At this point enough people are denying the Holocaust. I'm like, maybe I should look into this. The Holocaust happening is cringe. Best.

Starting point is 00:16:42 I call it the cringecost. We all accept the doge the best. I call it the cringicost. We are the doge's best. We are going to stop looking into the Holocaust. We stop looking into the Holocaust and your grandma gets no social security. It's the best. Have you seen the clip of Elon, he's wearing the Israeli star of David necklace.

Starting point is 00:17:00 No. He's like, the hostages, we gotta bring them home. We gotta bring the hostages home. And everyone starts cheering. He's like, you'reages, we gotta bring them home. We gotta bring the hostages home, and everyone starts cheering, he's like, you're the woke Palestinians trying to kill Israel. I'm actually designing robot Jews to fight Palestinians. We're designing space Jews. Are these hostages real, even?

Starting point is 00:17:17 Who knows, honestly, I don't think so. I mean, I kinda don't think it's real. Are they real people? It's probably mannequins with wigs. I don't know, and even if they are real, every time they return them, they're always getting off a plane with a big bone they're picking their teeth with.

Starting point is 00:17:32 They just ate a big Thanksgiving meal. They're fat as shit and got a big handkerchief. They're white. And it's just like, can you believe they fed them to look kind? Some guy sent me a thing about how we found the Nag Hammadi in 1945. And you know it was found by Muslims or whatever.

Starting point is 00:17:50 What's the Nag Hammadi? It's the Coptic text. It's like the Book of Thomas. It's all the books from, it's the Gnostic Gospels. Where Jesus did some- He's talking to Mary, he's talking to Thomas. Where Jesus did some weird shit. Actually way less weird shit than he did in the Bible.

Starting point is 00:18:08 It's stuff that's not the miracles. It's just Jesus then said that, you know, be nice. It's just, it's all Jesus talking. There's a lot of it, and a lot of it is also, it's crazy horse shit, right? Right. So supposedly the way we found him is there's this guy, so this is what's really hard about telling stories like this.

Starting point is 00:18:29 Everybody's name is Muhammad. And so I can, so. Most popular name in the world. So I read the, I'll read the story right here. It's Muhammad. So okay. Door Dash should change their name to Muhammad. But spelled like how apps do it which is mhmd. Yeah

Starting point is 00:18:48 Some guys sent it to me hold on So because I'm probably not gonna get the name right you like it's it's a double-dash time on and Muhammad I gotta take this I Gotta deliver some whole all bread. So this is a in December of 1945 an Arab peasant made an astonishing archaeological discovery in Upper Egypt rumors So if he's Arab, you know correct me if I'm wrong here. That's a Muslim, right? I think unless he's a Christian Arab. All right. Well, I did this story. He's not really Christian so

Starting point is 00:19:21 So his name was Muhammad Ali all Saman. That's not he doesn't get to was Muhammad Ali Al-Saman. That's not, he doesn't get to steal Muhammad Ali. But also isn't Muhammad Ali stealing Muhammad? I wanted to cover this with you guys because I don't know what the- Muhammad Ali did steal him. We can't all be named Jesus Christ Avery or something, Jesus Christ Contra, Jesus Christ Avery.

Starting point is 00:19:39 You were trying to get more into your white roots, you changed your name to Jesus Christ. I'm not going by my slave name, Ben Avery. I am Jesus Christ. I wanna honor my white roots, call me Larry Bird Avery. All right, so Muhammad Ali, Al Tarif, no, no, no, no, that's somebody else, hold on. Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers No, no, no, that's somebody else, hold on.

Starting point is 00:20:09 Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers avenged their father's murder in a blood feud. Well, it doesn't sound like an Arab. Wait, you're telling me this happened in Egypt? Why are they doing shit like this all the time where it's like, this is an Old Testament story. Why is this 1945? Can I tell you the reason? I think they all still have the big curvy swords

Starting point is 00:20:26 and it just makes you do weird shit if you have a big curvy sword. You gotta do something with it. Yeah, if you have a big curvy sword with two points on the end of it, you're like, I have to kill somebody because of my dad. You go, look at this thing, it's curved. It's supposed to go around the neck.

Starting point is 00:20:40 Also, like, upper Egypt, can't you see a guy coming for a thousand miles away? Can't you get out of the way or just start, you see him coming a hundred miles away, you just start walking. You go, he'll never catch me. It is so funny. He's coming to kill you.

Starting point is 00:20:52 Well, they're also malnourished, you're like, there's nothing I can do. These people, Yeah, there's no water. Yeah. They fight like they're fighting over the upper west side of Manhattan. Yeah, like it's primary.

Starting point is 00:21:03 They're fighting over complete shit. Can you imagine if they- It's like, it's kind of like when you find out, you know like a motorcyclist on the freeway, zigzags around you and goes crazy, and you go, if that guy dies, would anyone give a shit? Like are people supposed to show up to his funeral and be like, oh, it's, they had, can't believe,

Starting point is 00:21:23 how did he, how did this happen? I can't believe Zig Zag Motorcycle Guy died. The same with these people. When you go to their funeral, you're really supposed to go like, how did this, he was involved in a blood feud. He was vinging his body's death. That's why he has the speeches at your funeral. Well, he was very involved in the blood feud over dirt.

Starting point is 00:21:45 And you're supposed to be like, oh no, oh no, he died over dirt. His father had- He fucking retarded. Fucking idiot. How about you let a woman drive, even though they shut it? His father, his father had the seventh best rock in Egypt stolen from him. Imagine if they had something good, like if they had a cheesecake factory. Right, fight over the Irvine Spectrum Center.

Starting point is 00:22:13 I'd have more respect. If they had the Irvine Spectrum Center, you'd turn the news and be like, everyone in the Middle East killed each other today. All over a yard house. It was happy hour at the yard house and not enough seats and everybody in the Middle East is dead now. A new B-dub has opened up in Torrance and well, many are dead.

Starting point is 00:22:32 You wish they had peas so they could have McDonald's and all this stuff they don't have any of this stuff. We love peas. The hummus, we love the ball of hummus. We love peas. The way they say peas sounds like an explosion. Peas.

Starting point is 00:22:49 We love peas. So, Muhammad whatever, found the fuckin', he killed his dad, he did Muhammad stuff. Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers avenged their father's murder in a blood feud, they had saddled their camels and gone out to... It's hilarious, right? And by the way, this isn't like 50 AD or 100 BC.

Starting point is 00:23:17 This was 2023. COVID existed when this happened. Yeah, like our grandfathers were in their 30s when these guys were doing this. They have canteens. It sounds like his- They have leather canteens they're drinking out of. They're in real life Star Wars.

Starting point is 00:23:34 It sounds like his own wife is making fun of him. His own wife is doing a bit raciously at him. So they had saddled their camels and gone out to Jabal to dig for sabak. What? To sabaka, S-A-B-A-K-H. A soft soil they used to fertilize their crops.

Starting point is 00:23:53 That's what sabak is. Digging around a massive boulder, they hit a red earthenware jar, almost a meter high. Muhammad Ali, again it's like. It's a, okay, come on. Yeah, and then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was there. And James Worthy. Koop, Koop was one of the best,

Starting point is 00:24:13 one of the best blood feud fighters on a fast break. Michael Cooper. They gotta knock this off with every, the God is Muhammad, everybody's name Muhammad. Muhammad, Muhammad's name Muhammad. Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali.

Starting point is 00:24:28 Can every white guy be named Elvis Presley or Mickey Mouse? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's horseshoe. Well they're not taking it from Muhammad Ali, but that is funny. What do you mean? Muhammad Ali took it from these fucks. No I know, but they're not.

Starting point is 00:24:42 But he's cool there. But he is cooler. You gotta hang a rafter from the jersey, a jersey from the rafter from time to time, right? Yeah, that's true. This is why we do these things. Yeah, every once in a while they pull a turban up to the rafters and hang it. Okay, so then it says,

Starting point is 00:24:58 the hit of Jar was almost a meter high. Muhammad Ali refused to break the Jar, considering that a genie or a spirit might live inside. They live in Pixar movies. Yeah, they're in Coco. That's so funny. He thought a spooky genie was in the jar. Wasn't that J-I-N-N?

Starting point is 00:25:17 You actually pronounce that genie, right? A gin, yeah. D-J-I-N. Well, I think there's two spellings of it, actually. Because Cormac wrote about it, too But I'm sure Jeannie is spelled GI J. I am but this guy saw an airplane flying overhead pointed And then he goes there's a Jeannie in that jar on the ground. Yeah, or a spirit or whatever. Yeah a ghost There's a ghost in a jar that he found ghosts under you. So it's 1945

Starting point is 00:25:41 He's gonna avenge his father's murder and he gives in a blood feud, so him and his brother go out, they find a jar and they're like, don't open that, there's a ghost inside. So they're like retards. And then they put the jar on their camel's back. Avenging his father's murder because his father probably murdered somebody else's father and was avenged.

Starting point is 00:25:58 Dude, wait for this. He realized that then that the jar may contain gold, so he raised his mattock, smashed the jar, and discovered inside 13 papyrus books bound in leather. So it was like loose papyrus leaves on straw. Muhammad's mother, Umamad, admits that she burned much of the papyrus in the oven along with straw. She used a kindle of fire.

Starting point is 00:26:22 Yeah, she was trying to cook it. She burned a ton of like ancient text. She was trying to turn the paper into swords. She thought she could smelt this. She's like roasting chickpeas. She goes, I'll take these books that are thousands of years old. She goes, what if I cooked the worst lejume in the world

Starting point is 00:26:41 with these Bible papers? Dude, so get this. So a few weeks later, Muhammad Ali tells that he and his brothers avenged their father's death by murdering Ahmed Ismail. Their mother had warned her sons to keep their maddox sharp. When they learned that their father's enemy was nearby,

Starting point is 00:26:58 the brother seized the opportunity and hacked off his limbs, ripped out his heart and devoured it among them as the ultimate act of blood revenge. He did what? He took the guy's dad? He hacked off his limbs, ripped out his heart, and devoured it among them as the ultimate act of blood revenge. He did what? He took the guy's dad? He hacked off his limbs, ripped out, the brothers seized the opportunity

Starting point is 00:27:10 that the guy that killed their dad was nearby. And they're in a blood feud. Yeah. They're in a blood feud. And you know they get more upset when their family members are killed because they go, who do I fuck now? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.

Starting point is 00:27:25 I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.

Starting point is 00:27:32 I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.

Starting point is 00:27:39 I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I by the way, if I went dove hunting with somebody and they ate the bird's heart,

Starting point is 00:27:46 I wouldn't talk to them anymore. Yeah, it's super weird. Let alone doing it to a human. It's super weird. Like, you got him. Yeah. You're like, I'm eating his asshole right now. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:55 Dude, you got him. I'll show you, I'll give myself a brain parasite that kills me. That's what I've heard, if you are a cannibal, you get a weird parasite that eats you from the inside out. There's a name of it, but it like burrows in your brain and just basically yeah It's like a pre on we were looking into this I think it's good Google pre on Ben

Starting point is 00:28:14 Human I think it's pre on with an eye oh Kuru Kuru Is a rare fatal disease caused by eating contaminated human brain tissue It's caused by an infectious protein called the pre-op Wow very good. Very good So now this actually leads me into my next thing and I don't even know what the ending of this is But eventually we got the books or whatever They got them to the Jungian Institute and Carl Jung translated this Kuruuru, this eating human brain eating disease,

Starting point is 00:28:46 this is, they must, they treat this like, like how we treat like, strap. They go down to CVS. They're like, oh no, Omar has kuru. He has difficulty walking. They go, hey, we'll be watching Netflix for a week. He ate a faulty human brain tissue. They go, Muhammad, just for next week, he ate a faulty human brain tissue. They go, Muhammad, just for next week, no meat, no human meat, you just drink blood.

Starting point is 00:29:12 Blood's only. No, Muhammad is on, he just peed the lights right now, he can barely hold anything down after the heat because he ate the brain, human brain. So now he's on an all-pissed diet for the next week. All right, so people are dropping like flies in the Congo and no one cares. And I was texting you guys about this. I know, yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:30 So just so people know I'm not racist or whatever. This could be the new COVID. It could possibly be. If they don't handle it. It's probably not. It kills people within like a day, right? 48 hours, yeah. So here's the 431 cases, but they're in the sticks.

Starting point is 00:29:44 So let's not get into the weeds with this Let's just sort of you know broad strokes as we do on the show sure you're right three little black kids in the Congo I'm assuming they're black right it said sure Black kids in the Congo, but also South Africa. There's a lot of white people and in Mexico Well, there's a reason for that so in Africa there might be white people walking around. I don't know. Those people were shipped in. I'm not cultured.

Starting point is 00:30:08 I'm open to thinking there's white villages. I think it was black kids, I imagine, in the Congo that ate this. They could be Chinese, Devin. Sure, okay. Because they ate a bat. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's true. The rumor is they beat a bat up.

Starting point is 00:30:19 Let's run with it. Three Chinamen in the Congo ate a bat. What if there's only three Chinese people in Africa and they started the next COVID out of Africa? They might have. Yeah. No, they like bludgeoned and ate a bat, right? They made that stupid bat soup out of it.

Starting point is 00:30:34 I, they, apparently they cooked it and they like ate it to brains and shit. And these people, they haven't learned their lesson with bats. People are still eating the bats, man. They eat bats. Gotta stay away from bats. Hey, you know the most, man. You gotta stay away from bats. Hey, you know the most demonic looking animal there is?

Starting point is 00:30:47 I'm gonna eat that. Hey, I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat the devil today. Yeah, you know that animal holding a pitchfork? I'm gonna eat that. You dumb fox. My favorite part is to eat the curly red tail with the big fork on the end of it. They're eating devil tails like it's spaghetti,

Starting point is 00:31:06 like slurping it up. Dude, they can't be, like how much meat are on them bones anyway? What do you do, are you eating the wings? Yeah. Like it's wing style? No, I think they're literally, they turn the wings into like tortilla chips

Starting point is 00:31:17 and they dip it in shit. That's so funny. That's so fucked up. Yeah, I mean they are making like mud cookies over there. They have nothing, you know? So if they see a bat, they're like, oh, that mean they are making mud cookies over there. They have nothing. So if they see a bat, they're like, oh, that's a Thanksgiving turkey, one tiny bat. Supposedly they have nothing.

Starting point is 00:31:31 I'm pretty sure the Democratic Republic of the Congo, they're Democrats, right? So they have a... They're very Democratic. It's a Democratic Republic. It's like Texas. Texas is a Republic, and it's democracy and everything else, right?

Starting point is 00:31:44 So it's probably a lot like Texas. I imagine they have Buc-E's and they have... Yeah, every year, at the end of the year, they have to pay their taxes, which is one bat-tooth and a wing. They have to give that to the government. They have a big place that's empty called, what is a burger?

Starting point is 00:32:02 And you walk in and they go, I don't know. Do you want to eat at Nothing's today? We have a Batwing. Can I get the Nothing Burger? We're literally making fun of Africans with the food. Yep. Well, they should have. Well, Devin, why didn't they go to the AMPM and get food?

Starting point is 00:32:25 They're dumb. Go to the fucking foodies! No, but don't they have, like how are there not big trees with bananas on them and stuff though? I know Mowgli is, it's actually set in, how was that, Indiana? Right.

Starting point is 00:32:37 In India. Yeah, yeah, Mowgli. The jungle books set in Gary. Yeah. Yeah, it was the, it was, Joe Jackson was Mowgli in Gary, Indiana. But don't they have like big trees

Starting point is 00:32:49 with like bananas hanging from them and like a big log with juicy bugs in it that they can eat like Tomo and Pumbaa? I'm not kidding, I think they have trees with bats growing out of it. And they pick a bat off and they peel it like a big coconut. That fucking sucks, man.

Starting point is 00:33:03 That fucking sucks. They have trees that grow human shit on the tree and they have to pick it off and eat it. The trees grew human shit. Yeah. The trees grew from shit and made more shit. The tree that grew from shit. Fuck.

Starting point is 00:33:20 I love not being on YouTube anymore. Yeah, I know. It's great. It's pretty great. It's pretty freeing. Fuck them. Yeah. Fucking Jews. We're're gonna get banned from Google. We're gonna have to go to Bing from the internet

Starting point is 00:33:32 Fuck so these so it's a miss it's oh it's It always scares the hell out of me when every expert in the world is on top of something and they keep describing something as a Mysterious they keep saying it's a mystery illness. They can't figure out what's going on. It's not Ebola, because this is where all that shit always starts, it's either in, I know COVID was a lab leak, we all know that now, but the things that develop organically and it seems to develop in Africa.

Starting point is 00:34:01 There's always some Ebola variant going on in Africa. It's as if somebody was put in the position where they did the unthinkable, and they ate the unthinkable. And then we have to be like, no, but that's just, you know, that's the only foods that are that's just normal. And there's culture. And so, yeah, but why are we being we're always told that these epidemics and or I'm sorry, these pandemics are I'm a retard shouldn't be allowed to speak them. These plan them. It's the plant these plan them X

Starting point is 00:34:32 these things were told that they're gonna keep happening because of Unsanitary living conditions and cities and the global warming and everything heating up. And then every time something like this happens, it's like, oh, a guy, he had chef-worthy bat soup. And then that's the, and I go, so that's because of the ozone layer? What are you guys talking about? Because the ocean's rising? Well, the news goes, mysterious illness

Starting point is 00:35:00 coming from the tribe of people that eat brain shit soup. I actually thought, so I'm pretty sure that's a fake tribe in Indiana Jones, remember when he eats the monkey brain? Yeah, in Temple of Doom. And they say don't refuse it because you'll. It'll be rude. What's that, is that a real tribe? That's their favorite thing to do, by the way,

Starting point is 00:35:22 these shitty places. What? Eat brains. Just peer pressure you into eating the worst thing of all time. Oh, and they don't even eat it? It's a joke. Every one of these, all these like travel, whatever, movies, travel shows,

Starting point is 00:35:32 there's always that scene where the guy, there's like the guide, and they're like, he likes you, he likes you, and then the guy pulls a 12 foot turd out of his ass, and he hands it to the white character and they go, it will be very, very disrespectful if you do not lick this like a lollipop for a month straight.

Starting point is 00:35:56 And the white savior goes, oh, oh, oh. If you do not eat this they will rape everyone here I Would love a version of Indiana Jones where he's in the Middle East and he's just presented with a 12 year old boy cabal They have over there and those like if you don't fuck this 12 year old boy. It'll be very offensive Temple of doom real tribe the thuggy, real tribe. The Thuggy Cult? Is the real world group. That's what Kamiya would name an African tribe. It's the Thuggy Ruggy Cult.

Starting point is 00:36:31 This can't be real. The Thuggy Cult is the real world group that used the Temple of Doom in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The Thuggies were an Indian cult that worshipped the god Kali. He was in India in that? Yeah, he was in India. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:44 That's why they're all Indian looking. I don't remember them being Indian. I remember them being like black or something, but I haven't seen it since I was like six. Yeah, well to be fair, they were all Italian people who were very tan. It wasn't played by actual Indians. Oh, they're real?

Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah, they were a religious cult and group. The Frenzy Cult. Hey guys, if your car breaks down, you're gonna take it to the mechanic. If your dick stops working, you're gonna get get Hymns ED. Hymns provides men with access to affordable sexual health treatments and everything is done online. Hell yeah. With a huge range of doctor trusted ED treatments like chewable hardments, Viagra, Cialis, and

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Starting point is 00:37:59 plan. They eat monkey. Yes, they eat monkey brains and eyeball soup. Yeah, but that's saying in the movie. Yeah, but the AI overview says it's real. Okay. And they always understand the context of why I'm a best. I love going to Quora. Yeah, Quora where it's just like, it's like if you asked a bus stop a question.

Starting point is 00:38:24 Do people in India eat chilled monkey brains? My dear friend, as an Indian, as a religion follower shown in the movie, I am assuring you we never ever eat this kind of food. For you information in my religion Hindu, we love animal and the nature most. We do worship of animals. Monkey is one of our greatest gods,

Starting point is 00:38:46 symbol known in world Bahra-Ragabali. Hanuman, gee, snake is our Nag-Devetta god, so how can we eat our god? In short, this is only nonsense ever seen in the history of Hollywood movies. Also, also, PS, aid sex location. of Hollywood movies. Also, also PS, aid sex location. That was written by Ashishgar.

Starting point is 00:39:11 Yeah, Ashishgar. So I gotta find out if there are anybody that eat monkeys. Oh, I'm sure. Cultures that eat monkeys. Oh yeah, cultures that eat them. I'm sure Haiti, I'm always hearing Haiti is the one place where they're doing insane stuff. They eat monkeys, they gotta eat China, Vietnam, India, Liberia, Africa, Indonesia, Japan, Cambodia

Starting point is 00:39:30 Why don't we eat a monkey? What the fuck? Why would we eat a monkey? Wait, it says United States we eat monkeys. That's not right. Who's eating monkey in the United States? It says the US is a country of 50 states covering a vast swath of North America Up until 2007 mass monkey meal imports occurred. Right, what? That's not true. People had supplies shipped to them

Starting point is 00:39:50 in ways authorities couldn't tell. Like it was like a factor meal. Oh shit, look, look. Yeah, people were getting monkey shipped to them. People were doing this stuff. Made it illegal to import bush meat. And people who do might get fined $250,000. And who put a stop to it?

Starting point is 00:40:06 So there was. Fucking Obama. Yeah, can I tell you, by the way, when they say that in America they were ordering monkey, who was ordering monkey in America? I don't know, but honestly, the fine is only like a quarter million. Yeah, you're saying it's worth it?

Starting point is 00:40:21 Oh shit, I don't want a cooking thermometer. What are you looking that up? I wasn't, what the hell? Why are you looking that up? I wasn't. The hell? Yeah, they banned Bushme in 2007. But apparently there were people, yeah, because there were people, there were immigrants here probably like, you know, living in Tampa. They were like, oh, I miss, I really miss.

Starting point is 00:40:39 I miss orangutan. My mom used to make the best orangutan. My mama made orangutan fazu. Very Italian. Orangutan fazu was great. When I was a kid, we had the Sunday monkey. My mama, she'd take the juiciest part of the monkey brain and she would drip it over the fettuccine. Fuck this!

Starting point is 00:41:04 This is what it's called, it's called bushmeat. Look, it's bushmeat. People get this shit, this is the CDC, I know they're cucks, but listen, what is bushmeat? The term bushmeat refers to meat that comes from wild animals in certain regions of the world, including Africa and other seas, and may pose a disease risk.

Starting point is 00:41:20 Bushmeat comes from a variety of wild animals including bats, non-human primates, monkeys, apes, and cane rats, and duker, a type of antelope. Fuck you if you're doing that. You also can't trust the CDC though, you know what I call them? The Cringe Disinfo Cucks. That's what I call them.

Starting point is 00:41:36 Very good. I call them the criminal Democrat. Criminal from China. From China, yeah. The criminal Democrats from China cringe disinfo cucks Well Devon I'll have you know that bush me is illegal bush meats Bushmeat in any amount found at US ports of industry will be destroyed along with any other personal items So there's a guy at the like US ports who just burns monkeys all day

Starting point is 00:42:02 He opens boxes pours monkeys out and then puts petrol on them and lights them day. He opens boxes, pours monkeys out, and then puts petrol on them and lights them up. He probably does. Yeah, he's in a big bulldozer just pushing a pile of monkeys together. So yeah, these kids that ate the bat, and God knows what else they had for lunch that day. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:18 You know, they developed a new disease, and everyone's dying in the Congo from it. Is that still going, the Congo that they killed 50 people? Day in like a week. It just says that like people are dying, but it's like they're just dropping dead Yeah, it's like people that didn't eat the thing or dying. Yes. Well, here's the good news people You know, there's no planes landing in the Congo So, you know, they have fun traveling like those for ought to across the Pacific Ocean You're never gonna get here.

Starting point is 00:42:45 Kill everybody you want. Yeah, they can't just lie here, right? No, no, I will not allow it. I think what, I think. I forbid, there's a, the way, remember Trump did a Muslim ban or something on like at the airports or something like that? Yeah, I remember that.

Starting point is 00:43:01 No Africa Airlines as long as no Africa Airlines sorry the whole country has to be locked up now that this is happening because they can't help themselves Their little babies eat bats these are mommy's Milky These days it seems like every airline is an Africa airline With this damn whoa doing fucking and oneape trip, tricks in the sky, landing upside down, hot dogging it. You got half man, half amazing doing barrel rolls up there. You got the Jumpman logo flying your damn plane.

Starting point is 00:43:37 You're gonna be looking like the falling man because of the Jumpman. I'm actually afraid to get on a flight. I've been meaning to visit my parents for two months. I've just been putting it off. I think they're very mad at me because I haven't texted them. And I know it probably is just that they're putting more eyes on it now so we're seeing them. But I'm like, I don't know. Well, I saw it and it's reminding me of how terrifying that looks. Now I'm scared. I don't want to do it right now. We were planning

Starting point is 00:44:03 on doing another little tour, but fuck that. No, fuck that shit. I'm not gonna do it We were gonna we were planning on doing another like a little tour, but fuck that no fuck that shit I'm not getting on a plane. Jase you gonna see mommy dad. I keep putting it off I think I'll just I'll just completely end my relationship with them, so I won't have to fly there. Not a bad idea Yeah, I just yeah, I really don't want to get on a plane after months It could be a lot of people kill their parents. They cut their heads off They then kill themselves in the garage sure You're if I the way I kind of see it. I think you're being nice Yeah, Lee Lee you live and let live you're not gonna walk into mom and dad's house with a shotgun

Starting point is 00:44:35 No, didn't say mom dad sit down. I go happy birthday You in cold blood yeah I'm getting interviewed by Truman Capote. Why'd you kill your dad? I listen to your podcast, it's actually really racist and fucked up. Can you fuck me in the ass? I wanna get fucked by a criminal.

Starting point is 00:44:56 Have you ever seen the movie Capote with Philip Seymour Hoffman? Yeah, yeah. There's a very funny part where they're like, almost played, they're like, what was his mystical fascination with this criminal It's cool. He's like I think I want the guy to fuck me in the ass and I drink it's cup But they have to play it is like this literary metaphor of like oh he was fascinated by that world

Starting point is 00:45:16 Even though he's a New York socialite. I think Phil Siraphan won the Oscar or something Yeah, he's in much better roles in my opinion Do you think that's why he died of heroin, is because he had to play a gay guy seven years before that? In 2000, I was like, I can't believe I had to play that fucking gay guy. I'm going to shoot an unlethal amount of heroin right now to forget about that. The thing that sucks about, because I'm okay with dates sometimes. I think he died February 2nd, 2014.

Starting point is 00:45:46 Wow, that's very weird of you to know. Is that right? Am I right? Someone can look it up. Yeah, I don't know. In my head it was 2012, 2011. 2014 actually seems a little too recent. Yeah, I thought it's been earlier than that.

Starting point is 00:46:01 I thought it was almost like- When did Moneyball come out? Moneyball came out in 2014, so it might have been 2013. Okay. Yeah Wow February 2nd There you go, all right, so So, do you know how he actually it's actually it's this Every heroin overdose is usually sad right unless? Unless the guy like sucks ass. There's some happy ones.

Starting point is 00:46:26 Sure, there are some. I'm glad he's not in pain anymore sort of things. The last thing he did, he texted his friend. I wanna watch the Knicks. Knicks game. And the guy, apparently they were gonna watch the Knicks and then the guy was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm busy. I'm busy.

Starting point is 00:46:40 And he was like, well, all right, I'm gonna kill myself with heroin. Which honestly, the most relatable thing I've ever seen. I mean, yeah, who wants to watch the Knicks? That's how you kill yourself, though. Or just a friend canceling on you, and for whatever reason, you're like, you know what, I'll show him,

Starting point is 00:46:53 I'll fucking kill myself tonight. That's how you go either all watch this basketball game, or I'll kill myself. Those are my two choices today. What am I gonna choose? He figured out Luttrell Sprewell had a turned ankle, and he's like, well, I am I gonna choose? Yeah, he figured out what trial spree well had to turn to ankle and he's like well I guess I'll kill myself tonight What sucks do they found him with the needle in his arm? Yeah, like the classic like

Starting point is 00:47:13 Have you seen these pictures of Farley dead? No, there's pictures. Yeah With foam coming out of his mouth and stuff. It's really really tragic Jesus I don't know why they took well, I guess they had to. Are those real pictures or was that cool lip? You know, I like to think Folly would have appreciated that joke. I like the thing himself. Yeah, they actually found him dead.

Starting point is 00:47:34 He had crashed into the coffee table like Matt Foley. In an ironic twist. No wait, really? There's pictures of? Yeah, my friend Sam told me about him and I looked them up And I was like, oh shit it you're a bird. I Everybody did not look them up. They're actually horrific Yeah, I thought it just kind of be a fat guy on the floor

Starting point is 00:47:55 But like his mouth is a gape and there's foam everywhere staring was probably He was dying. Yeah, I'm all sitting in shit before he actually died I think he's like crawling on the ground Begging the hooker like please don't leave me don't leave me. I don't want to be alone And that's how you know but then she left right and then he died any day Yeah, he read it more after she left. I imagine did more of the eight ball. Yeah Did cartwheels yeah apparently there's a tape Belushi made of himself the night he did that eight ball and died. And it's never been made public.

Starting point is 00:48:29 Yeah, there is this tape. I heard a fucking Bill, Epic, Murray. Bill fucking Murray talking about it. Bill fucking Murray thought, yeah. Okay, so this is, speaking of great big fat guys, I wanted to get into this. So my friend Jake sent me an article of the Pendejo Time podcast. Him and Thomas have at little killer online. Really funny podcast. Me and Devin have done it before. I just want to plug them. Jake sent me an article. Jason, did you read this from the New York Times? It's a thing about Ozempic. No. This is so so here's what's crazy right now. There's a war going on between the pharmaceutical industry and the food industry.

Starting point is 00:49:05 So they estimate that by 2035, there'll be 25 million people on Ozempic because it's a miracle drug. There's 100 million people that are obese right now. It's working so well that a lot of food industries, processed foods, fast food, are actually really panicking right now. They hate Ozempic.

Starting point is 00:49:26 I don't know if you guys keep up with Domino's. Domino's stock is in the tank. A lot of these places are eating shit right now and it's because people are getting Ozempic. And when you're on Ozempic, it makes you crave, I didn't know this, it makes you crave whole foods, foods you actually need. It gets you off the processed stuff.

Starting point is 00:49:42 The sugars and the salts. It does, it helps you crave good food? You put what it said in this article in the New York Times. I think it just helps you eat less so you crave stuff that actually gives you nutrients. Right, right, interesting. Yeah, because you just are not eating that much. So the war right now in the fast food industry is they're hiring all these scientists that are trying to make food more addictive. So they want sugars and salts to hit your bloodstream

Starting point is 00:50:07 even faster than it already did. They're trying to build superhuman McDonald's stuff where it would break through Ozzypic and get people to go off of Ozzypic and come back to McDonald's. Nabisco's hiring Stringer Bell to make their Doritos recipe. Apparently they're on a whole new level right now.

Starting point is 00:50:26 Stringer Bell has little reading glasses looking at a beaker's. I want you to put the word out that we more fatten up. Yeah, I want you to put the word out, our scale's back up, the weight back up. Stringer Taco Bell. Ha ha ha. Apparently this shit is about to get real.

Starting point is 00:50:46 I personally have been eating more fast food than ever in my life. Yeah, you actually have been on insane bin. You're gonna read the benefits. Dude two weeks ago I did a talk about 3.30 at McDonald's at five and then I did a talk about again at eight and I already had breakfast and lunch and now when I order McDonald's I get way more. I'm kind of thinking about getting McDonald's after this again even though I just had McDonald's. I want it like back to back to back.

Starting point is 00:51:08 When I do it I can't get off of it. This is purely anecdotal, but I don't know what's in the food anymore, but I will say the fast food, have you guys had fast food lately? It's been hitting like it's never hit before. They have figured out something at these places. Yeah, they might have done something,

Starting point is 00:51:24 because I gotta say I've had my fair share of nights where I've gotten the drunk Taco Bell, and it's been fine, and there was that month, recently, last month. You got pulled in for the first time. I got Taco Bell twice in like a three week period, like after we recorded and I was already, whatever, and I woke up at like 4 a.m. both times,

Starting point is 00:51:46 like heart racing. One of the nights I literally went to the bathroom and made myself throw up the Taco Bell, and then I was like, oh, I'm fine now. I went to bed. You just gotta fight through the wall. But it was like, I've never had, I always kept everything down my whole life.

Starting point is 00:51:59 You're having like Tony Soprano panic attacks because of the Chalupa. I was like, are they doing something new to the Taco Bell? I think they are, my friend. I am loving what I'm seeing. They might have added the sodium or something, increased it. Yeah, they're putting oxycodone in it or some shit.

Starting point is 00:52:16 They gotta have that sugar and salt hit your bloodstream even faster. It's gotta get in your bloodstream faster. It's all about the mechanism. Exactly, the delivery system. That's why cigarettes are so addictive because it enters your bloodstream faster. It's all about the mechanism. Exactly. The delivery system. That's why cigarettes are so addictive, because it enters your bloodstream in like a second, basically.

Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah. So, you know, you want to pay an amount of money for a thing that's going to make you feel a certain way. What's the David Foster Wallace thing? It's the... He goes, there's something very romantic... He says something brilliant, where he's like, the most American thing is buying something that makes you feel a certain way for a certain amount of time.

Starting point is 00:52:47 And he's talking about the consistency in that. He was a fag actually. I do love David Foster Wallace, but every time I tried to club, it's like he said something about fast food. It was really wordy and smart. He had a bandana on. He just had a bandana and he looked cool as shit and then he hung himself in Torrance.

Starting point is 00:53:07 Wasn't he like, he was like in Riverside or something when he hung himself. Yeah, or he was, wasn't he a teacher at the Pomona? At Pomona, yeah. Pomona, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, hung himself in a garage. I know someone who knew someone who saw him before he died, like, because everyone was like, oh, David's different, and went over to see him.

Starting point is 00:53:26 And David was bedridden. And this author said that he was completely unrecognizable. His personality, the way he looked, he was just a completely different human being. Covered in bandanas. Was he going through a breakup or something? He had to go off his antidepressants because the blood pressure was going to,

Starting point is 00:53:46 his blood pressure kept skyrocketing and was going to kill him. Because he ate like shit? Well, he wasn't a healthy guy, but. I think it was more anxiety, and he had to get off his antidepressants. He was like, I think I'm good now, and he just crashed.

Starting point is 00:53:58 Well, his doctors also told him he was going to die really young because of hypertension and everything else. Because of the, some antidepressants will give you blood pressure issues, like lithium, things like that. Yeah, but so he went. Because of the, some antidepressants will give you blood pressure issues, like lithium, things like that. I don't know what he was on. He went off of it, got insanely depressed, went back on him, and for whatever reason,

Starting point is 00:54:12 they just didn't work again after he went off of it. He lost his ability to write, which is the thing that is his identity and everything else, you know. Oh, I didn't know this. Yeah, and he just sort of wasted away and then hung himself with a bunch of bandanas he stringed together. He texted Philip Seymour Hoffman. He couldn't get to a Knicks game And they he hung himself like an orphan escaping in the 1940s

Starting point is 00:54:37 The reason we bring the bandana on before he hung himself you do wonder right yeah on before he hung himself. You do wonder, right? Yeah. I wonder if he was a brainlet and his brain was exposed. I always thought he had killed himself much earlier. The bandana was just covering a hole in his head. Oh, that's literally what I just said. That's so funny.

Starting point is 00:54:56 I said, what if his brain was just exposed behind the bandana? He's a brainlet. He's like a retard. What if you go to read his suicide notes at 900 pages long? You just can't stop. I don't even know if he had a suicide note. Yeah His suicide and I said what up dough? Yeah, what up? And he says Budweiser frog Hey guys, we got another ad from fan favorite Ruby's flowers, so they requested we play this

Starting point is 00:55:24 Message that Ruby's flowers made for us. So they requested we play this message that Ruby's Flowers made for us. So take it away. Listen up Lemon Party fans this is very super important. Hold on I have to turn my music down. Okay very good. Vikram here, Ruby's Flowers CEO and I am back to tell you we have amazing new strains, free samples and ounces of premium flower for only $130. Because you are all number one super cool guys, you can use code LEMON to get $30 of free store credit with a minimum purchase requirement of $50. That means you can get an ounce for only $100. Leave the long dispensary lines, high taxes and sketchy pilled out drug dealers selling middies in the past, step into the future and legally get fire as flowers sent straight to your front door. We know lemon party fans are cool

Starting point is 00:56:16 as motherfuckers who listen to old O and A episodes with Patrice and Norm McDonald compilations, not like those Bastool mouth breathing retards who clap like seals and Bray like donkeys at fake edgy bullshit comedy Anyways from one og podcast fan to another you are all the coolest guy and my number one special friend Okay, I have to go now a 14 year old needs to buy weights and carbonated poison. Goodbye now Oh, I almost forgot rubies flowers wi.com So there we go, thank you Vikram Ruby's flowers and a Vikram sent me some goodies that I have not got to partake of yet

Starting point is 00:56:59 But there's little things for sleep that my wife is encouraging me to take yes That's a bunch of gummies It's like the sleep ones with their great melatonin you will you tried the I don't know the rubies flowers is tremendous But I've had no you love you've been begging Jace to get more of it I was your cheap ass you won't go buy it from the guys cuz I'm a fucking chip ass She's at the mall Fourteen years old. 14 year old Chinese guy. You cheap ass.

Starting point is 00:57:30 Let's go to Din Tai Fung and not tip. Stupi. Is that all the gay ads? Yeah, that's all. Well, let me end this one. Ruby flowers, everybody. Ruby's flowers. Flowers, everybody.

Starting point is 00:57:44 Goodbye, everybody. That's flowers. Flowers everybody. Goodbye everybody. That's all the gay ads. That's all the gay ads. They go David, that was the magic of David. He loved commercialism. He actually loved irony at the end. Yeah, he was a very ironic guy. That's why he wrote, what's up, peace out.

Starting point is 00:57:56 There's always this thing, there's a movement on X like once a year where people are like, you guys ready for post irony? The irony is over. I'm like, oh buddy, you have no idea. The irony hasn't gone deep enough, my friend. The most viral videos I see now, I was telling Jason, it's just Peter Griffin AI

Starting point is 00:58:13 saying the N word. Playing Fortnite, that's every viral clip. I told you, I spent the whole weekend with my girlfriend's family, and there's like three five-year-olds there, and I was watching their iPads, and it's just Peter Griffin in a bandana. He's like, what's up, my YNs?

Starting point is 00:58:29 How's it going? And he's like, buy Roblox with your dad's credit card. Give me money. And I'm just like, they are getting gigafried. Like, you're watching, they run up to their parents, and they literally go, they go like, ah, like crack addicts, and they give them a phone. And then it's like, you might as well put their brain

Starting point is 00:58:48 in an actual microwave and just fry it and put it back in their brain. You should just execute your children. Yeah. They're not well equipped to handle anything. Yeah. People are suing their high schools now. They're graduating with honors.

Starting point is 00:59:01 There's this girl this year, graduated with honors. She went to college. And then she realized she couldn't read or write. And they said, well, did you, but she passed high school with honors, so now she's suing her high school, because they'll just, you know, they keep, it's the Carlin bit, lower the test scores rather than make the children have higher tests,

Starting point is 00:59:21 it just makes the tests easier. And it's funny, if you talk about this, people will just go like, oh, I get it, phones are bad, and they're like, does it affect you? And they're like, I can't read. But you're gay for saying phones are bad? That's it, a lot of people have MRIs on Reddit.

Starting point is 00:59:36 That's the popular Reddit brain theory. Do you know about that? No, what's this? Where people are posting MRIs on Reddit where it's showing that there's holes in their head in their brain They're just big black Really? Yeah, I think what it is is that I don't think it's specifically from using reddit I think some people if you scroll for

Starting point is 00:59:59 let's say you wind down your day scrolling for like two to four hours just Let's say you wind down your day scrolling for like two to four hours just There's parts of your brain that just start turning off. I think where it goes. We don't need this part of our Head anymore. Yeah, shut it the fuck down your brain literally tells you by like oh, hey I think we're actually a monkey that's trapped in a cage being experimented on so you can just shut all this Yeah, you're like putting yourself in the hole in prison. In solitary. Yeah, you're like, I'm going to spend another night in the hole. Yeah, you're doing the opposite of solitary.

Starting point is 01:00:31 You're having so much entertainment, you don't exist anymore. You're disappearing. Have you guys ever scrolled for like 15 minutes and someone asks you a question? Yeah. And then you realize, hold on, I'm retarded right now. Wait 10 seconds for me not to be retarded. My wife will ask me a question and I'll go, what?

Starting point is 01:00:49 She's like, what? And I'll go, well what? What I mean? I'll be scrolling absolute nonsense and my mom will text me and the banner will come down and I'll go, get the fuck out of her. I know. Watching George Droid videos.

Starting point is 01:01:02 What happened with Maldoni? I know watching George I know I'll be watching a George Lucas interview from 1974 on my phone And then my girlfriend comes home from work, and I get pissed off I have to I have to pretend I'm not watching the George Lucas interview for five minutes While she talks about her day, and I'm just like whoa that's crazy putting close Caption on I was like I was like man, he really fucked up with Jar Jar. What an idiot.

Starting point is 01:01:31 Yeah, the phone fucking sucks. What are you gonna do, man? I mean, you're gonna have, look, we need the pacifiers. You gotta have the binkies. If you don't have the binkies, you're not gonna survive. This being said, I do think everyone's a fucking huge pussy that they talk about the whole screen time before bed thing affecting your sleep. I

Starting point is 01:01:50 happily Scroll all night in bed looking at really absolute nonsense I thought you have sleeping problems, and I just recently because of you know Things and but it's good. it's gotten a lot better. But I'll look at, I'll just like, and I have the TV on back of me too. I have so many screens going. You're actually videotaping the TV with your phone

Starting point is 01:02:15 to look at it. And I actually, I hire a man to walk into the room and set off firecrackers and shit. I go, I don't care. I don't even care. You hire a little Chinese boy. A little Chinese man with firecrackers in his asshole, he's naked, wearing a thong,

Starting point is 01:02:27 and I don't care about you, Ming, fuck off. I just keep scrolling, and then I literally happily, I go, I go to bed. It's like not that hard. This whole Huberman bullshit. So can I say, most nights I do read, when I read, I stay up longer. If I get on my phone, I fall asleep kind of immediately.

Starting point is 01:02:47 It's really weird. Because sometimes the book is good and I go why I don't want to put it down because I want to see what happens. I tried the reading thing. I've been reading Johnny Cash's autobiography, Cash. Oh yeah, I was it. It's tremendous, he's an amazing,

Starting point is 01:02:58 I can only care about things if they were written by legends. Well I love that you love American heroes too, like Cash. Thanks. A man who defined Americana love American heroes, too, like Cash. Thanks. A man who defined Americana. It's really shockingly well-written. He's great. But I read that a few times before bed, and I put that down.

Starting point is 01:03:14 I'm thinking about Johnny Cash's whole fucking life. If I'm on the phone, it's mindless. That's what I've been doing. I put it down, I go, whoa. I go immediately to bed. I've been playing chess on my phone and the chess has been making me stay up till 3 a.m. because I'm using my brain.

Starting point is 01:03:30 Yeah. And it keeps, it's. Now you're up. Now I'm up. It's almost like you do need to poison yourself with the light and the noises and the sounds. Yeah. And it's almost like carbon monoxide poisoning.

Starting point is 01:03:41 Like it makes my brain shut off. I wanna talk to Hiram about that because I don't think that's correct. Does he know anything? The blue light. Can we stop with him? The blue light stuff. You think Andrew Huberman knows anything?

Starting point is 01:03:53 No. Hasn't he been massively wrong? He reads science articles. You're actually more retarded if you know too much. We know this now. We know this, the most retarded people know the most. What a hellish life to study everything. You're smarter if you know less.

Starting point is 01:04:06 It's gotta be really hellish to be like, do a three hour podcast on like, putting your left leg more commonly in front of your right or something. Going up steps. Hot drinks versus cold drinks. Are we really talking about, yeah exactly, hot like iced water versus lukewarm. He goes, there's a study where they wasted money

Starting point is 01:04:29 at Columbia and they found that forks with three prongs actually improve your metabolism. Come on, do you know how finished you are if you're actually at the level of like worrying about whether you're drinking like room temperature water versus cold for your health? Well so this is the thing, what is the point of being alive if much of your energy

Starting point is 01:04:46 and focus and attention has to go to longevity? If you make it to 90 and I make it to 70, but you spent 20 years more of your waking time and hours being like, huh, should I have a cold drink at 8 a.m. or a warm one? Worrying about that for weeks on end and listening to podcasts and doing research. What was the point?

Starting point is 01:05:09 All those periods of time you're not alive anyway. It doesn't matter. It didn't matter. Because you're a manic tunnel vision guy. Are you gonna be on your deathbed being like, I'm so glad I optimized my fucking productivity as you pass away? By the way, what is this productivity everyone has to get to?

Starting point is 01:05:26 Everyone acts like they're building the fucking Sistine Chapel. You're a nothing nobody weirdo retard. We all pretend, everybody pretends to make spreadsheets for a living. Everyone's constantly acting like they gotta get to their work station. Your work is fake.

Starting point is 01:05:41 Hey, the only- Watch TV and die. The only, the only people who are actually productive are building skyscrapers and they eat Doritos and Dr Pepper all fucking day and their guts look like cancer. Yeah, you guys you guys are way too blue-pilled on this actually You guys sound like Marxists. Yeah, you sound like communists. Yeah, and you're red-pilled Red pill does actually really be wanting to be really good at the. Yeah, and you're red-pilled. Red-pilled is actually wanting to be really good at the Matrix.

Starting point is 01:06:08 That's what being red-pilled is. Red-pilled is being in your pod and being like, how can I get better at my pod job? Did you see the photo someone took of, again, this is in regards to appreciation of art. Sure. There was a pretty viral photo a few days ago of a guy who was at a museum in Italy.

Starting point is 01:06:27 And it looks exactly what you think it would. It's just beautiful, mind-blowing oil paintings, huge gold frames, pristine high ceilings, palatial architecture, just beautiful. I couldn't imagine getting to step foot in a museum like that Whoa, I've been to some in Austria that blew my mind that I still think about today weird crazy shit, right? But in the photo, there's a kid Beneath like this beautiful painting. He's sitting on his phone. He's playing fortnight on his

Starting point is 01:07:04 Everybody's like, oh, well the kids, and it's like you guys don't even care if kids get fucked, first of all. You don't care if they get trafficked. The Epstein thing is a complete joke to everybody. Now you're gonna pretend that you care about kids' education. And here's the other thing too

Starting point is 01:07:20 that my friend Jake pointed out to me. It's like, you gotta admit that in the short term, your phone is a fuckload of more fun than staring at a goddamn painting. So leave the nine-year-old alone, and stop taking photos of children and uploading them. You can't make an argument that that kid's wrong, technically. He's technically right.

Starting point is 01:07:37 He's actually right in the short term. In the long term, you won't have a... You gave him the phone. We live in a world where it's necessary to have the phone. You're not gonna be able to shut Off all the access to all the websites and all the apps so like what is he supposed? Yeah, what do you what what if you went to Michael Angel and you gave him a modern-day cell phone with pornography and tech talking be Like oh this fucking sculpture shit is gay as fuck

Starting point is 01:07:58 Fuck this dude. I taught I spent three years teaching myself how to do the artery in the left hand I could be watching Mia Khalifa get ass fucked right now. Have you seen the Ken Burns? Documentary about the Vinci yet. No, it's like an eight-part thing. Is it good? It's supposedly amazing I've seen clips of it on CBS Sunday morning, but Da Vinci taught himself He looked master geometry Because if you look at like the Last Supper and everything, everything like lines up perfectly with lines. I mean he was brilliant, right? He loves all that like Fibonacci principle type shit.

Starting point is 01:08:31 Yeah, crazy shit. Like he had to get really good at math to get good at, like he was obviously Da Vinci, one of the greatest, whatever. But it is funny to think that like present day, he's just like drawing me a Khalifa on his wall with a big f***ing stick. And like Homer Simpson is f***ing her on his ceiling,

Starting point is 01:08:50 his popcorn ceiling. Yeah, he's drawing, he goes, here's my perfect man, it's the guy in the circle, but it's Homer Simpson, he's got a huge dick, and that's what he's drawing. And he goes, this kicks ass. He's airbrushing T-shirts at the mall of Bart Simpson's smoking weed for $20 a piece. He's wearing a tally t-shirt

Starting point is 01:09:06 What was that was that an earthquake? Well, that's a big one. Oh, there's an earthquake happening right now Well, that was big that shook the whole fuck. That was crazy. That was like a bomb dropped Yeah, I thought somebody's I thought somebody slammed the door outside. No, but there was an aftershock, right? Yeah, there was yeah, there was a little rumble. Yeah Go on Twitter. Yeah, let me let me see on Twitter Twitter always has hey hey couldn't have this we were stuttering arteries Yeah, I can read that fucking idiots fuck you Okay, he just texted me well. I guess you know hey. It was a tremendous night in LA Hey, did she wake up?

Starting point is 01:09:41 Yeah, earthquake comes see seeing earthquake all over Twitter. Alright, excellent, good, somebody's not breaking in. She's not crying, she's okay. Okay, cool, alright, love you, sorry we're recording right now. Yep, earthquake. Earthquake. Damn, that was like a, that was, they usually, they usually, you just start shaking, that was like, that was a big one.

Starting point is 01:10:02 I thought someone broke in upstairs. Me too, I thought something bad happened. Luckily we're in the safest place. Under the house. They say the basements are the safest place. But won't it come down? That's a prank they're pulling. Is that fake?

Starting point is 01:10:13 Well if the house comes down, like we're dead. This is an old cement house though. Oh, so it wouldn't come down on the cement. Or not cement, but this is an old, like, it was built, I don't know. It's like a gas chamber. Many faggots have come here and told us it's safe. Jase, many fags have told us it's fine.

Starting point is 01:10:30 Yeah, a guy shows up, he goes, hey, I'm the fag from the city. All I know in the 92 quick, literally my first memory Really? Was being taken down to the hate watch studio, which was just like my dad's office. Uh-huh. It was whatever. And yeah, they thought that was the safest place. Do you remember the shaking?

Starting point is 01:10:49 Yeah. I just remember looking up and seeing people be like, ah! Like running downstairs. How big was that one? It was one of the biggest quakes in LA history. I think it was the biggest. No, the one that just happened.

Starting point is 01:11:02 Oh, right now? Yeah. Yeah, tell us how big it happened. Oh, right now? Yeah. Yeah, tell us how big it is though. Oh, it came out of Burbank. Panora caused an earthquake. Yeah, people are already making these games. Armenian films. Fucking kill yourself. Of all time.

Starting point is 01:11:17 Just said two days ago, California hit by seven earthquakes in less than 24 hours. Yeah, that happens all the time. Yeah, it's not a big deal. It happens in Bakersfield, it's not a big deal. It happens in Bakersfield, it's not real. Calm down, man. A.9 earthquake.

Starting point is 01:11:29 Yeah, yeah, that was just one, hold on. Oh wait, that wasn't it? I don't think they've added it. LA Quickbot stinks. Fuck you, LA Quickbot. Fucking hell. My daughter woke up, but she just thought it was funny. It is funny, because babies, they just get thrown around in their crib violently and they just start laughing.

Starting point is 01:11:50 It's fun. Oh, she could see a nuclear mushroom on the horizon and she'd start clapping. Four minutes ago, detected in Beverly Hills. 3.6? Detected in Beverly Hills, wow. Devin, the stars are out. The stars are out. That's a huge, for 3.6, that was massive under here. That was shaking. It's more about the proximity than it is the

Starting point is 01:12:14 size a lot of times. It's the, that's like a dick thing. Yeah. Well, it might have started here because that felt like the beginning. I've literally been sitting on the couch and I've heard that noise in the distance, and then seconds later I'll start shaking. That happened, the scariest way I've ever been, I was dog-sitting at Ben's house, and I was sleeping in the bed, and I woke up because I heard something in the distance, and I just threw the bed against the wall, basically.

Starting point is 01:12:41 The shockwave came, and I thought it was like a ghost at first. I thought it was like being poltergeist. They can be very, very creepy. It's crazy that you can just die talking about Bart Simpson smoking weed or whatever we were talking about. Imagine.

Starting point is 01:12:54 Could have been our last moments. They find the video camera and like it's a Werner Herzog moment. They're like, Well you know I wonder about that though. Telling Katie to never listen to this. With earthquakes in LA, like we don't have, like I feel like, do people die in LA from earthquakes?

Starting point is 01:13:09 Nah, never. They're usually just very scary. I think the 92 on four people died or some shit. Yeah, and I imagine they lived on those houses with like stilts holding them up on Hollywood Hills. They were guys like window washing that fell down. In shitty, in these shitty countries, like they'll, because the building's made of, like, you know, there's no, like, regulations.

Starting point is 01:13:28 Do you wanna know the actual estimates? I know them, off the top of my head. So, when the big one finally comes for LA, about 3,500 people will die. This will be from gas lines rupturing, electrical lines falling, So it hits so hard that the gas line goes off and then explodes or something?

Starting point is 01:13:44 Well, and also, we know LA is incendiary, so once the place goes up and there's not enough firefighters and everyone's rescued and this and that, we don't have the resources, everybody will mostly die in a fire if they do die. You won't die from something falling on you. Although, I can run away from a fire. I don't really understand how anyone dies in a fire.

Starting point is 01:13:59 I think you're a lizard. Yeah, you're kind of retarded if you die in a fire. I think you're a... No offense to all the people who died in a fire. Literally, the only people we heard about that died in the fire This last fire was like it was just like, you know wine moms like letting the retarded child scream in the back house Yeah, how that would look like a daddy long legs. Yeah, like oh, yeah This palace for days moms who were throwing like their Xanax bottles at the fire trying they thought it would make the fire sleepy

Starting point is 01:14:23 Well, that's a Patreon. Well, you're already on Patreon, I guess, but I guess you might be listening on audio. So if you're listening on audio, patreon.com slash Limit Party, we're gonna go do a bonus episode now before the house comes down. God bless you, folks.

Starting point is 01:14:36 God bless you. Spread the news. God bless you all. Yeah, and if you can talk about the show, because we've been taking off, has been said the second biggest search engine in the world. Yeah, the first is Google, and then Google owns YouTube, you know, and YouTube's the second biggest. YouTube's really the biggest, you know?

Starting point is 01:14:50 You can always help the show by telling people you can trust about it, you know? Yep. Getin' the word out. Just don't tell your HR department. Yeah. Or whatever, but also people aren't woke anymore, so do tell them.

Starting point is 01:15:01 I don't understand the issue anymore. I'm a little sick of the whole, like, I can't even tell. I mean, what are you talking about? Everyone's deranged. That friend you're afraid to tell is posting Hitler's swag shit on Twitter. Shut up.

Starting point is 01:15:12 Well, everyone's a fucking pussy, too, because they go like, they're like, I can't even tell anyone to listen to this show. And they go, they're fucking fags. They didn't go hard enough this episode. I'm like, you don't even tell people you listen to the show. You're a pussy.

Starting point is 01:15:22 You're a fucking pussy, fag. There's also a lot of fans who are like, fuck you. There's also a lot the one who's, you're a fucking pussy cat. Fuck you. There's also a lot of fans who are like, I love you. And we love you, please never leave us. Yeah. I didn't do soy face though, should I close out with a soy? You should close out with soy face. Close out with a little soy.

Starting point is 01:15:35 Yeah, and that's when the roof collapses while you're soying out. Just the last thing you see. Earthquake soy! Alright, well- Bye everybody! Goodbye. Folks, let's go over to the Petro now. Love you.

Starting point is 01:15:49 Thank you so much. Bye bye. Out in the West Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a spell My love was deep for this Mexican maid I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a while young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind

lemonparty - 123: Blood Feud

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