lemonparty - 123: Blood Feud
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We just watched the Oscars, Devin Costa, give us the deets.
Your boy Sean Baker won, you love him, you can't get enough of him, you're inspired by
him.
Take us through, what were you thinking when you saw your boy accepting the award for best
something?
I don't really, I didn't care. I was pretty outraged the whole night
that the racist tranny wasn't appreciated.
Yeah.
You know what feels good about it?
Is you get to call her tranny.
She tweeted about George Floyd so much.
She's a racist, dyke, tranny thing.
And that's woke.
We're allowed to say that now.
It's woke to say her neck looks like an NFL linebackers.
Exactly.
Because she tweeted about George Floyd like he was a monkey in Wizard of Oz.
Didn't she tweet in America there's so many apes on TV?
The French people love calling black people apes by the way.
They can't stop themselves from doing it.
Zoe Saldana won for the piece of shit,
Amelia Perez movie that I hope the cartel
gets their hands on the whole cast and crew.
And they forced the director to get sex change operation?
No, they cut their heads off.
But.
Put their hat on a big tortuga?
Yeah, so Zoe Saldana, black woman,
she won best embarrassment
or something.
Best retarget.
Most embarrassing.
Most embarrassing, like, you know, fake award.
And if you looked closely, the camera at one point
cuts to the crowd and Carla, Sofia Gascon,
is holding a big sign that says the N word on it.
Just a big N bomb.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And she kept, she could see or she whispers
to the other people around her, she goes,
you know she has fentanyl on herself.
That's good.
Yeah, I don't, I'm happy for Enora.
Good for Enora.
Yeah, good for Sean Baker.
Four Oscars tonight.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
It was my favorite movie of the year,
but it wasn't a good year for movies.
But yeah, it's only gonna add fuel to the fire
of people that already hated it.
You know, it's kind of like not like a bad thing
when you win Oscars, you know?
But it also doesn't matter at all.
It's a testament against your thing you like.
Yeah, because people go, what are you?
Do you suck?
What are you, them?
Are you them now?
Are you one of them?
It's kind of like if we just started doing
Bert Kreischer's podcast.
Which, look, then we'll kick off YouTube.
We would love to.
Bert, if you'll have us on,
he follows me on Instagram for some reason.
And he really cares about people that talk shit about him,
so you'd think that we'd be.
Yeah, he's aware of us.
I thought he would have shared that sketch he made.
I can't believe he didn't fucking.
He's probably getting us kicked off YouTube.
Yeah, I can't believe he didn't try to help us with that.
Really disappointed in all of the.
Burt never reached out to me.
Really disappointed in all the people we told
to kill themselves, not helping us in this time of need.
I know, this community, you tell them to kill themselves
a million times in a row, and they turn their back on you.
I thought they would be upset that there's not a platform
for us to say you should die.
Yeah, you call them a human abortion.
So I talked to Billy McCusker of the War Mode podcast
about this, he reached out to me, thank you Billy,
one of the few people to reach out.
God bless you.
He said, he goes, you can't do video
with the show you guys do, you gotta do audio. We never wanted to do it in the fucking first place. But everybody yelled at us when you can't do video with the show you guys do. You gotta do audio.
We never wanted to do it in the fucking first place,
but we felt like we had to.
But everybody yelled at us when we didn't do video.
That's what I told him, but.
But also it helps with growth, I guess.
He is right, though.
He is right.
I would have loved to stay audio,
but I also understand why people like video, too.
But they're not allowed on YouTube either, war mode.
So that is a fan-made account, he said,
that uploads the audio and stuff.
So when we go on our own website,
there will probably be people that try to just upload
our public episodes or whatever,
which do whatever you want, I don't care.
There'll be a fan-made account that actually gets
way bigger than we are,
and they're making way more money than us.
They'll monetize.
Yeah, there'll be a guy called
AtLimmpartyFan420, and he's driving a Bentley down the street. than us. They'll monetize. Yeah, there'll be a guy called at lemon party fan 420
and he's like driving a Bentley down the street.
So what's happening right now by the way with YouTube
is it's looking like they gave us another strike.
On Friday.
But it's not registering.
It's fake again.
Well they said, I think they said you're allowed
to upload now because the two week time period has passed
but at first it was one week.
But they gave us another strike so we should should I don't know what's going on
I don't even know I'm scared to upload on it ever again
I think if we do upload on it
It should just be maybe we post the first 10 minutes of episodes and we censor it like all the other fucking like fake edgy shows
And then we tell no, but then it's just it's a big
To our side and watch the we just treat you to like a billboard now
For where we're going. Yeah, well that'll just be the clips channel probably
Yeah, we'll still just have clips that we have but they're the safe for work clips on the lemon party
But as long as we can upload back on the lemon party channel
We need to use it as an ad to go like hey come over here now, right? Yeah
I think the last thing we'll upload is a video saying hey guys. Here's our website
We're not gonna post on here anymore
because we're scared.
Scared.
Scared.
It's gonna get deleted.
We are afraid.
YouTube's a spooky.
Yeah.
It is funny, I was opening the email on Friday
that says we got another strike,
and every single one of those emails is like,
hey, just FYI, you got a strike,
your channel, episode 85, Fuck Muslims, has been removed.
And I go, why?
No, that's actually the most annoying part
of this whole thing, is that it's not that.
It's not related to the racism, yeah.
I'm more depressed by it,
because I'm like, what, like gambling?
Well, our first strike was hate speech,
which was, that was two years ago, and that's fair.
But not even for the clip that they,
they're not even good at identifying hate speech.
They didn't even clip any of the parts of us saying
fucking these muzzies or you going off annoying,
you fucking, we're talking about black people
and you just segue into the zoo or something.
None of that got us.
Trans shit. It was
Promoting gambling which we've never done. Well, I guess there's nothing Israel related got flagged. None of that
They said they manually review
None of that got promoting gambling gambling there's a show on barstool their YouTube is called barstool gambling
Yeah, you sent me that I looked up
I immediately typed in gambling on YouTube and these were the first I'm like this
Yeah, there's they're letting
Backwards hat Al Capone's have their hating all over YouTube, but we can't say yeah
We did one my bookie ad which is done ton of ads for different podcasts every every podcast has at one point done that mm-hmm
So you're watching this on X
You're watching this on you know if you're watching this on X. You can also go to patreon.com slash lemon party. It's free there
We're building a website. We don't know what it's gonna look like
When that's gonna be up, but we're working around the clock we're in the process of doing that
We had our editor download all the current YouTube video, so we we don't lose anymore and those will go up on the site. That's kind of where we're at
I mean, we're just sitting around watching the Oscars. I'm eating a bunch of McDonald's they're drinking themselves to death
Mm-hmm just is what it is right now folks, but we're gonna fight fight fight
You gotta fight
You gotta fight then we're gonna go up to a higher plane
Yeah, and we're gonna snap our heels together and go higher.
The right tries to say Tim Waltz also did a Nazi salute and then they post the video
and Tim Waltz does this, he touches his heart and then he does this.
Well that's what gay Nazis do, they go, how?
Tim Waltz has a little fetus that he aborted right before before in his pocket. Yeah, he goes, he opens a locket
and there's a little six week fetus and he goes,
mm, and he goes, now to go talk to my retied son on camera.
There's some crazy interview with him where he's all manic.
He goes, I love abortion so much,
they had to tell me to stop talking about how much I love it.
He tries to be a Bill Braske guy,
but for insane leftist positions.
Like, I wish my kid was
The fuck is letting him knock them up Jesus Christ him. Yeah. Well apparently that's a Chinese lady. He was a oh, yeah
He's a big Chinese fucking the shit out of he's shooting dust up in her
Yeah, guys like him after they like lose the campaign like do they just take him out in a field?
Like they let them look at the stars one more time. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they just take him out in a field?
They let him look at the stars one more time. Yeah.
They just have a gun to his back.
Do they shoot him in a landfill?
They take him to an abortion clinic
so he can look at fetuses one last time.
Before they can look at him.
Yeah, he goes in a German accent, he goes,
I just think the fetuses are so beautiful tonight.
I'll go take a closer,
because he knows he's going to get killed.
He's German?
Yeah, he's German.
It's the episode of Better Call Saul.
Of course.
There was one guy who went up to accept
his Oscar speech tonight,
and he just started speaking full 1930s German.
He immediately went into like, yeah.
It makes everybody uneasy a little bit.
Everyone was a little uncomfortable.
There's also a guy, you can't do it these days.
But actually, at this point,
the Jews in the crowd are like, yeah! A little bit more of that!
Yeah!
We're trying to get it.
We're trying to.
There was also a guy who won a best score for The Brutalist
who was like a human sperm in a black tuxedo.
Oh, yeah.
That guy like floated up on stage like a vampire.
And just awkwardly, he looked like a lot
of Lemon Party fans, excepting,
excepting an Oscar was very fun.
And I was just like, I'm sorry,
I just wanna thank my mom and my dad
and all my friend, just thank you.
They played him off immediately.
They played him off, he goes, I'm sorry,
and then he walked off.
He walked off with his shoulders like this
in his big, for a two hands.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah, the stars were out.
The stars were out.
Devin also informed me, speaking of-
The Bill Maher guy was in the crowd at the Oscars, too.
He was.
The whole Oscars was a guy going, yeah!
Woo!
There literally was a guy doing this.
That guy's everywhere.
It's the exact pitch and everything.
I love that man.
Do you think they added-
If you watch the Zapruder film with sound,
that guy's in there.
Yeah! Woo! I think the TV guys might add it the think they add it? If you watch the Zapruder film with sound, that guy's in there. Yeah!
Woo!
I think the TV guys might add it,
the way they add bird calls and songs
during PGA tour events.
Yeah, how the Masters got caught
adding fake birds that don't exist.
They add that guy.
They add that guy, yeah.
Woo!
The fake Bill Maher fan.
They created Bill Maher with AI.
A Bill Maher fan with AI, that's how they knew it's good now.
Devin told me that apparently Gal Gadot,
or maybe you told me this,
Gal Gadot refused to give an award
because she was probably gonna give an award
to a documentary that was pro-Palestinian.
The Palestinian documentary about their homes
getting destroyed by Israelis.
It did win, she was supposed to present best documentary,
and she dropped out, so she went in.
Okay, so this is a Larry Silverstein thing,
where he didn't go to work that day.
Okay.
She knew who was going to win, so she got a tip off.
Yeah.
To not go into work because she was gonna have
to hand a statue to someone who lost her.
The Jews that run Hollywood went up to her
and they go, listen, this is the only thing
we're gonna give them.
Give them a little statue.
Nobody cares about this one.
They'll be using this fucking Academy Award as an umbrella.
Okay, don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
They're gonna be shooting this out
of an anti-aircraft missile soon.
This Academy Award.
No, I was just laughing at the idea of her presenting
and they walk up and she just pulls out
like a little pistol and shoots him in the belly.
Hunker gun.
Yeah.
The little ankle strap.
Yeah, sorry babe. She stinks by the way, what a talentless whore she is.
What a heck.
She's very hot but fuck that.
Fuck that.
She's hot in the way like a classic car is hot.
You don't even want to fuck her.
You just want to look at her.
You just go like wow great angles.
I want to look at you, I'm going to jerk off from a distance.
I'm going to shit.
Some of those just really go. We're not on YouTube, who gives a shit. Let it fly. I'm gonna jerk off from a distance. I'm gonna Some of those are not on YouTube who gives a shit. We can say let it fly. I'm gonna kill gal good though
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No sensor that or something doesn that, some of that Israeli pussy
looks good though, right?
I'll get one of those.
Oh, they've got some incredibly.
They're so hot.
They have an insane ratio of very thin
to huge titty women in Israel.
That's propaganda, supposedly.
There's only like two women,
like a Natalie Portman or a Gal Gadot.
Those women come around once every,
it's like when Venus and Mars line up.
It's so rare that something like that happens
and they parade them everywhere.
And then you have an idea in your head of the IDF
being like Laura Croft Tomb Raider type of women.
Walking around with big F cups, huge ass, 10 inch waist.
Right, and they really like Bela Nostra.
Yeah. Yeah.
And it's crazy, you see the pictures of the Israeli women
and they all have like blue eyes and blonde hair and it's like. You see the pictures of the Israeli women and they all have like like blue eyes and
blonde hair. And it's like now you would pass like Hitler would.
You'd pass like if Hitler walked down a line, you go like, no, you're not.
You're allowed. Wasn't that what we were told when I was a kid?
I always had this idea that we were told many things and you had to have blue eyes
and blonde hair and then Hitler wouldn't kill you.
Yeah. But they would like measure.
That's like what my understanding of it was.
That's so retarded.
When I was a kid.
Well then why did he go to war with England?
You know what I mean?
Why did he go to war with America?
That's true.
He should have loved us actually.
We should have invaded and he'd be like,
you guys can stay, I'll give you a citizenship.
How does citizenship sound, sir?
He didn't initially want to kill us or England.
He just wanted us to get in line.
Well he was baited into it.
Because they made up a big lie about the Holocaust.
They got that whole thing going.
Anyway, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's get out of this.
Yeah.
We've been down these roads before.
These are well-traveled roads, brother.
I'm sorry.
I've yet to look into it, but it's a very popular thing on X.
We're gonna move on.
We're gonna move on.
What is popular on X?
I'm constantly seeing things that like,
the Holocaust didn't happen.
And I see 900 replies and everyone's like, yep.
I'm like, oh, interesting.
And I look at their account to see if it's a bot
and it's not.
Yeah.
And I click on it to see if it's a guy from India.
And I'm like, no, it's just a guy, it's a normal guy.
It's a normal non-Indian guy.
No, that was the very, yeah.
Didn't happen.
I got banned from X this week,
because I drew, to be fair, I did draw a picture
of Elon getting his brains blown out,
and I quote tweeted it at him.
I got banned in 45 minutes, it was actually very impressive,
but then I created an account, I just logged in,
and the default profile, the default timeline
was Hitler fan cams and Steven Bannon shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like Hitler with hard eyes over.
It's webcam girls saluting Hitler.
Yeah, it's like K-Town clips, but with Hitler in it.
And I was like, okay, but I can't do my little art
or whatever.
Well, it's weird, because nowadays you can agree
with a lot of what a person says,
but then there's like 3% of it where they just,
they don't think the Holocaust happened.
You go, well I don't.
You're like, jury's still out on that one for me, I guess.
At this point enough people are denying the Holocaust.
I'm like, maybe I should look into this.
The Holocaust happening is cringe.
Best.
I call it the cringecost.
We all accept the doge the best. I call it the cringicost. We are the doge's best.
We are going to stop looking into the Holocaust.
We stop looking into the Holocaust
and your grandma gets no social security.
It's the best.
Have you seen the clip of Elon,
he's wearing the Israeli star of David necklace.
No.
He's like, the hostages, we gotta bring them home.
We gotta bring the hostages home.
And everyone starts cheering. He's like, you'reages, we gotta bring them home. We gotta bring the hostages home, and everyone starts cheering, he's like,
you're the woke Palestinians trying to kill Israel.
I'm actually designing robot Jews to fight Palestinians.
We're designing space Jews.
Are these hostages real, even?
Who knows, honestly, I don't think so.
I mean, I kinda don't think it's real.
Are they real people?
It's probably mannequins with wigs.
I don't know, and even if they are real,
every time they return them,
they're always getting off a plane with a big bone
they're picking their teeth with.
They just ate a big Thanksgiving meal.
They're fat as shit and got a big handkerchief.
They're white.
And it's just like, can you believe
they fed them to look kind?
Some guy sent me a thing about how we found
the Nag Hammadi in 1945.
And you know it was found by Muslims or whatever.
What's the Nag Hammadi?
It's the Coptic text.
It's like the Book of Thomas.
It's all the books from, it's the Gnostic Gospels.
Where Jesus did some-
He's talking to Mary, he's talking to Thomas.
Where Jesus did some weird shit.
Actually way less weird shit than he did in the Bible.
It's stuff that's not the miracles.
It's just Jesus then said that, you know, be nice.
It's just, it's all Jesus talking.
There's a lot of it, and a lot of it is also,
it's crazy horse shit, right?
Right.
So supposedly the way we found him is there's this guy, so this is what's really hard
about telling stories like this.
Everybody's name is Muhammad.
And so I can, so.
Most popular name in the world.
So I read the, I'll read the story right here.
It's Muhammad.
So okay.
Door Dash should change their name to Muhammad.
But spelled like how apps do it which is mhmd. Yeah
Some guys sent it to me hold on
So because I'm probably not gonna get the name right you like it's it's a double-dash time on and Muhammad
I gotta take this I
Gotta deliver some whole all bread. So this is a in December of 1945 an Arab peasant made an astonishing archaeological
discovery in Upper Egypt rumors
So if he's Arab, you know correct me if I'm wrong here. That's a Muslim, right?
I think unless he's a Christian Arab. All right. Well, I did this story. He's not really Christian
so
So his name was Muhammad Ali all Saman. That's not he doesn't get to was Muhammad Ali Al-Saman.
That's not, he doesn't get to steal Muhammad Ali.
But also isn't Muhammad Ali stealing Muhammad?
I wanted to cover this with you guys
because I don't know what the-
Muhammad Ali did steal him.
We can't all be named Jesus Christ Avery or something,
Jesus Christ Contra, Jesus Christ Avery.
You were trying to get more into your white roots,
you changed your name to Jesus Christ.
I'm not going by my slave name, Ben Avery.
I am Jesus Christ.
I wanna honor my white roots, call me Larry Bird Avery.
All right, so Muhammad Ali,
Al Tarif, no, no, no, no, that's somebody else, hold on.
Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers No, no, no, that's somebody else, hold on.
Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers avenged their father's murder in a blood feud.
Well, it doesn't sound like an Arab.
Wait, you're telling me this happened in Egypt?
Why are they doing shit like this all the time
where it's like, this is an Old Testament story.
Why is this 1945?
Can I tell you the reason?
I think they all still have the big curvy swords
and it just makes you do weird shit
if you have a big curvy sword.
You gotta do something with it.
Yeah, if you have a big curvy sword
with two points on the end of it,
you're like, I have to kill somebody because of my dad.
You go, look at this thing, it's curved.
It's supposed to go around the neck.
Also, like, upper Egypt,
can't you see a guy coming for a thousand miles away?
Can't you get out of the way or just start,
you see him coming a hundred miles away,
you just start walking.
You go, he'll never catch me.
It is so funny.
He's coming to kill you.
Well, they're also malnourished,
you're like, there's nothing I can do.
These people,
Yeah, there's no water.
Yeah.
They fight like they're fighting over
the upper west side of Manhattan.
Yeah, like it's primary.
They're fighting over complete shit.
Can you imagine if they-
It's like, it's kind of like when you find out,
you know like a motorcyclist on the freeway,
zigzags around you and goes crazy,
and you go, if that guy dies, would anyone give a shit?
Like are people supposed to show up to his funeral
and be like, oh, it's, they had, can't believe,
how did he, how did this happen?
I can't believe Zig Zag Motorcycle Guy died.
The same with these people.
When you go to their funeral, you're really supposed to go
like, how did this, he was involved in a blood feud.
He was vinging his body's death.
That's why he has the speeches at your funeral.
Well, he was very involved in the blood feud over dirt.
And you're supposed to be like, oh no, oh no, he died over dirt.
His father had-
He fucking retarded.
Fucking idiot.
How about you let a woman drive, even though they shut it?
His father, his father had the seventh best rock in Egypt stolen from him.
Imagine if they had something good, like if they had a cheesecake factory.
Right, fight over the Irvine Spectrum Center.
I'd have more respect.
If they had the Irvine Spectrum Center, you'd turn the news and be like, everyone in the
Middle East killed each other today.
All over a yard house.
It was happy hour at the yard house and not enough seats
and everybody in the Middle East is dead now.
A new B-dub has opened up in Torrance and well,
many are dead.
You wish they had peas so they could have McDonald's
and all this stuff they don't have any of this stuff.
We love peas.
The hummus, we love the ball of hummus.
We love peas.
The way they say peas
sounds like an explosion.
Peas.
We love peas.
So, Muhammad whatever, found the fuckin',
he killed his dad, he did Muhammad stuff.
Muhammad Ali Al-Samman, shortly before he and his brothers
avenged their father's murder in a blood feud,
they had saddled their camels and gone out to...
It's hilarious, right?
And by the way, this isn't like 50 AD or 100 BC.
This was 2023.
COVID existed when this happened.
Yeah, like our grandfathers were in their 30s
when these guys were doing this.
They have canteens.
It sounds like his-
They have leather canteens they're drinking out of.
They're in real life Star Wars.
It sounds like his own wife is making fun of him.
His own wife is doing a bit raciously at him.
So they had saddled their camels
and gone out to Jabal
to dig for sabak.
What?
To sabaka, S-A-B-A-K-H.
A soft soil they used to fertilize their crops.
That's what sabak is.
Digging around a massive boulder,
they hit a red earthenware jar, almost a meter high.
Muhammad Ali, again it's like.
It's a, okay, come on.
Yeah, and then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was there.
And James Worthy.
Koop, Koop was one of the best,
one of the best blood feud fighters on a fast break.
Michael Cooper.
They gotta knock this off with every,
the God is Muhammad, everybody's name Muhammad.
Muhammad, Muhammad's name Muhammad.
Muhammad Ali.
Muhammad Ali.
Muhammad Ali.
Can every white guy be named Elvis Presley or Mickey Mouse?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's horseshoe.
Well they're not taking it from Muhammad Ali, but that is funny.
What do you mean?
Muhammad Ali took it from these fucks.
No I know, but they're not.
But he's cool there.
But he is cooler. You gotta hang a rafter from the jersey,
a jersey from the rafter from time to time, right?
Yeah, that's true.
This is why we do these things.
Yeah, every once in a while they pull a turban
up to the rafters and hang it.
Okay, so then it says,
the hit of Jar was almost a meter high.
Muhammad Ali refused to break the Jar,
considering that a genie or a spirit might live inside.
They live in Pixar movies.
Yeah, they're in Coco.
That's so funny.
He thought a spooky genie was in the jar.
Wasn't that J-I-N-N?
You actually pronounce that genie, right?
A gin, yeah.
D-J-I-N.
Well, I think there's two spellings of it, actually.
Because Cormac wrote about it, too
But I'm sure Jeannie is spelled GI J. I am but this guy saw an airplane flying overhead pointed
And then he goes there's a Jeannie in that jar on the ground. Yeah, or a spirit or whatever. Yeah a ghost
There's a ghost in a jar that he found ghosts under you. So it's 1945
He's gonna avenge his father's murder and he gives in a blood feud, so him and his brother go out,
they find a jar and they're like, don't open that,
there's a ghost inside.
So they're like retards.
And then they put the jar on their camel's back.
Avenging his father's murder
because his father probably murdered somebody else's father
and was avenged.
Dude, wait for this.
He realized that then that the jar may contain gold,
so he raised his mattock, smashed the jar,
and discovered inside 13 papyrus books bound in leather.
So it was like loose papyrus leaves on straw.
Muhammad's mother, Umamad, admits that she burned
much of the papyrus in the oven along with straw.
She used a kindle of fire.
Yeah, she was trying to cook it.
She burned a ton of like ancient text.
She was trying to turn the paper into swords.
She thought she could smelt this.
She's like roasting chickpeas.
She goes, I'll take these books
that are thousands of years old.
She goes, what if I cooked the worst lejume in the world
with these Bible papers?
Dude, so get this.
So a few weeks later,
Muhammad Ali tells that he and his brothers
avenged their father's death by murdering Ahmed Ismail.
Their mother had warned her sons
to keep their maddox sharp.
When they learned that their father's enemy was nearby,
the brother seized the opportunity
and hacked off his limbs,
ripped out his heart and devoured it among them
as the ultimate act of blood revenge. He did what? He took the guy's dad? He hacked off his limbs, ripped out his heart, and devoured it among them as the ultimate act of blood revenge.
He did what?
He took the guy's dad?
He hacked off his limbs, ripped out,
the brothers seized the opportunity
that the guy that killed their dad was nearby.
And they're in a blood feud.
Yeah.
They're in a blood feud.
And you know they get more upset
when their family members are killed
because they go, who do I fuck now? Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you. I by the way, if I went dove hunting with somebody
and they ate the bird's heart,
I wouldn't talk to them anymore.
Yeah, it's super weird.
Let alone doing it to a human.
It's super weird.
Like, you got him.
Yeah.
You're like, I'm eating his asshole right now.
Yeah.
Dude, you got him.
I'll show you, I'll give myself a brain parasite
that kills me.
That's what I've heard, if you are a cannibal,
you get a weird parasite that eats you
from the inside out.
There's a name of it, but it like burrows in your brain and just basically yeah
It's like a pre on we were looking into this I think it's good Google pre on Ben
Human
I think it's pre on with an eye oh
Kuru Kuru
Is a rare fatal disease caused by eating contaminated human brain tissue
It's caused by an infectious protein called the pre-op Wow very good. Very good
So now this actually leads me into my next thing and I don't even know what the ending of this is
But eventually we got the books or whatever
They got them to the Jungian Institute and Carl Jung translated this Kuruuru, this eating human brain eating disease,
this is, they must, they treat this like,
like how we treat like, strap.
They go down to CVS.
They're like, oh no, Omar has kuru.
He has difficulty walking.
They go, hey, we'll be watching Netflix for a week.
He ate a faulty human brain tissue. They go, Muhammad, just for next week, he ate a faulty human brain tissue.
They go, Muhammad, just for next week, no meat, no human meat, you just drink blood.
Blood's only.
No, Muhammad is on, he just peed the lights right now, he can barely hold anything down
after the heat because he ate the brain, human brain.
So now he's on an all-pissed diet for the next week.
All right, so people are dropping like flies in the Congo
and no one cares.
And I was texting you guys about this.
I know, yeah.
So just so people know I'm not racist or whatever.
This could be the new COVID.
It could possibly be.
If they don't handle it.
It's probably not.
It kills people within like a day, right?
48 hours, yeah.
So here's the 431 cases, but they're in the sticks.
So let's not get into the weeds with this
Let's just sort of you know broad strokes as we do on the show sure you're right three little black kids in the Congo
I'm assuming they're black right it said sure
Black kids in the Congo, but also South Africa. There's a lot of white people and in Mexico
Well, there's a reason for that so in Africa there might be white people walking around.
I don't know.
Those people were shipped in.
I'm not cultured.
I'm open to thinking there's white villages.
I think it was black kids, I imagine, in the Congo
that ate this. They could be Chinese, Devin.
Sure, okay.
Because they ate a bat.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that's true.
The rumor is they beat a bat up.
Let's run with it.
Three Chinamen in the Congo ate a bat.
What if there's only three Chinese people in Africa
and they started the next COVID out of Africa?
They might have.
Yeah.
No, they like bludgeoned and ate a bat, right?
They made that stupid bat soup out of it.
I, they, apparently they cooked it
and they like ate it to brains and shit.
And these people, they haven't learned their lesson
with bats.
People are still eating the bats, man.
They eat bats.
Gotta stay away from bats. Hey, you know the most, man. You gotta stay away from bats.
Hey, you know the most demonic looking animal there is?
I'm gonna eat that.
Hey, I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat the devil today.
Yeah, you know that animal holding a pitchfork?
I'm gonna eat that.
You dumb fox.
My favorite part is to eat the curly red tail
with the big fork on the end of it.
They're eating devil tails like it's spaghetti,
like slurping it up.
Dude, they can't be, like how much meat
are on them bones anyway?
What do you do, are you eating the wings?
Yeah.
Like it's wing style?
No, I think they're literally,
they turn the wings into like tortilla chips
and they dip it in shit.
That's so funny.
That's so fucked up.
Yeah, I mean they are making like mud cookies over there.
They have nothing, you know? So if they see a bat, they're like, oh, that mean they are making mud cookies over there. They have nothing.
So if they see a bat, they're like,
oh, that's a Thanksgiving turkey, one tiny bat.
Supposedly they have nothing.
I'm pretty sure the Democratic Republic of the Congo,
they're Democrats, right?
So they have a...
They're very Democratic.
It's a Democratic Republic.
It's like Texas.
Texas is a Republic, and it's democracy
and everything else, right?
So it's probably a lot like Texas.
I imagine they have Buc-E's and they have...
Yeah, every year, at the end of the year,
they have to pay their taxes,
which is one bat-tooth and a wing.
They have to give that to the government.
They have a big place that's empty called,
what is a burger?
And you walk in and they go, I don't know.
Do you want to eat at Nothing's today?
We have a Batwing.
Can I get the Nothing Burger?
We're literally making fun of Africans with the food.
Yep.
Well, they should have.
Well, Devin, why didn't they go to the AMPM and get food?
They're dumb.
Go to the fucking foodies!
No, but don't they have,
like how are there not big trees
with bananas on them and stuff though?
I know Mowgli is, it's actually set in,
how was that, Indiana?
Right.
In India.
Yeah, yeah, Mowgli.
The jungle books set in Gary.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was the, it was,
Joe Jackson was Mowgli
in Gary, Indiana.
But don't they have like big trees
with like bananas hanging from them
and like a big log with juicy bugs in it
that they can eat like Tomo and Pumbaa?
I'm not kidding, I think they have trees
with bats growing out of it.
And they pick a bat off and they peel it
like a big coconut.
That fucking sucks, man.
That fucking sucks.
They have trees that grow human shit on the tree
and they have to pick it off and eat it.
The trees grew human shit.
Yeah.
The trees grew from shit and made more shit.
The tree that grew from shit.
Fuck.
I love not being on YouTube anymore.
Yeah, I know.
It's great.
It's pretty great.
It's pretty freeing.
Fuck them.
Yeah. Fucking Jews. We're're gonna get banned from Google. We're gonna have to go to Bing
from the internet
Fuck so these so it's a miss it's oh it's
It always scares the hell out of me when every expert in the world is on top of something and they keep describing something as a
Mysterious they keep saying it's a mystery illness.
They can't figure out what's going on.
It's not Ebola, because this is where all that shit
always starts, it's either in, I know COVID was a lab leak,
we all know that now, but the things that develop organically
and it seems to develop in Africa.
There's always some Ebola variant going on in Africa.
It's as if somebody was put in the position where they did the unthinkable,
and they ate the unthinkable.
And then we have to be like, no, but that's just, you know,
that's the only foods that are that's just normal.
And there's culture.
And so, yeah, but why are we being we're always told that these epidemics
and or I'm sorry, these pandemics are I'm a retard shouldn't be allowed to speak them. These plan them. It's the plant these plan them X
these things were told that they're gonna keep happening because of
Unsanitary living conditions and cities and the global warming and everything heating up. And then every time something like this happens,
it's like, oh, a guy, he had chef-worthy bat soup.
And then that's the, and I go, so that's because
of the ozone layer?
What are you guys talking about?
Because the ocean's rising?
Well, the news goes, mysterious illness
coming from the tribe of people that eat brain shit soup.
I actually thought, so I'm pretty sure that's a fake tribe
in Indiana Jones, remember when he eats the monkey brain?
Yeah, in Temple of Doom.
And they say don't refuse it because you'll.
It'll be rude.
What's that, is that a real tribe?
That's their favorite thing to do, by the way,
these shitty places.
What?
Eat brains. Just peer pressure you into eating
the worst thing of all time.
Oh, and they don't even eat it?
It's a joke.
Every one of these, all these like travel,
whatever, movies, travel shows,
there's always that scene where the guy,
there's like the guide, and they're like,
he likes you, he likes you,
and then the guy pulls a 12 foot turd out of his ass,
and he hands it to the white character
and they go, it will be very, very disrespectful
if you do not lick this like a lollipop
for a month straight.
And the white savior goes, oh, oh, oh.
If you do not eat this they will rape everyone here I
Would love a version of Indiana Jones where he's in the Middle East and he's just presented with a 12 year old boy cabal
They have over there and those like if you don't fuck this 12 year old boy. It'll be very offensive
Temple of doom real tribe the thuggy, real tribe. The Thuggy Cult?
Is the real world group.
That's what Kamiya would name an African tribe.
It's the Thuggy Ruggy Cult.
This can't be real.
The Thuggy Cult is the real world group
that used the Temple of Doom in Indiana Jones
and the Temple of Doom.
The Thuggies were an Indian cult that worshipped the god Kali.
He was in India in that?
Yeah, he was in India.
Yeah.
That's why they're all Indian looking.
I don't remember them being Indian.
I remember them being like black or something,
but I haven't seen it since I was like six.
Yeah, well to be fair, they were all Italian people
who were very tan.
It wasn't played by actual Indians.
Oh, they're real?
Yeah, they were a religious cult and group.
The Frenzy Cult.
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plan. They eat monkey. Yes, they eat monkey brains and eyeball soup.
Yeah, but that's saying in the movie.
Yeah, but the AI overview says it's real.
Okay.
And they always understand the context of why I'm a best.
I love going to Quora.
Yeah, Quora where it's just like,
it's like if you asked a bus stop a question.
Do people in India eat chilled monkey brains?
My dear friend, as an Indian,
as a religion follower shown in the movie,
I am assuring you we never ever eat this kind of food.
For you information in my religion Hindu,
we love animal and the nature most.
We do worship of animals.
Monkey is one of our greatest gods,
symbol known in world Bahra-Ragabali.
Hanuman, gee, snake is our Nag-Devetta god,
so how can we eat our god?
In short, this is only nonsense ever seen
in the history of Hollywood movies.
Also, also, PS, aid sex location.
of Hollywood movies. Also, also PS, aid sex location.
That was written by Ashishgar.
Yeah, Ashishgar.
So I gotta find out if there are anybody that eat monkeys.
Oh, I'm sure.
Cultures that eat monkeys.
Oh yeah, cultures that eat them.
I'm sure Haiti, I'm always hearing Haiti
is the one place where they're doing insane stuff.
They eat monkeys, they gotta eat China, Vietnam, India, Liberia, Africa, Indonesia, Japan, Cambodia
Why don't we eat a monkey? What the fuck? Why would we eat a monkey?
Wait, it says United States we eat monkeys. That's not right.
Who's eating monkey in the United States?
It says the US is a country of 50 states covering a vast swath of North America
Up until 2007 mass monkey meal imports occurred.
Right, what?
That's not true.
People had supplies shipped to them
in ways authorities couldn't tell.
Like it was like a factor meal.
Oh shit, look, look.
Yeah, people were getting monkey shipped to them.
People were doing this stuff.
Made it illegal to import bush meat.
And people who do might get fined $250,000.
And who put a stop to it?
So there was.
Fucking Obama.
Yeah, can I tell you, by the way,
when they say that in America they were ordering monkey,
who was ordering monkey in America?
I don't know, but honestly,
the fine is only like a quarter million.
Yeah, you're saying it's worth it?
Oh shit, I don't want a cooking thermometer.
What are you looking that up?
I wasn't, what the hell? Why are you looking that up? I wasn't.
The hell?
Yeah, they banned Bushme in 2007.
But apparently there were people, yeah, because there were people, there were immigrants here
probably like, you know, living in Tampa.
They were like, oh, I miss, I really miss.
I miss orangutan.
My mom used to make the best orangutan. My mama made orangutan fazu.
Very Italian.
Orangutan fazu was great.
When I was a kid, we had the Sunday monkey.
My mama, she'd take the juiciest part of the monkey brain
and she would drip it over the fettuccine.
Fuck this!
This is what it's called, it's called bushmeat.
Look, it's bushmeat.
People get this shit, this is the CDC,
I know they're cucks, but listen, what is bushmeat?
The term bushmeat refers to meat that comes from
wild animals in certain regions of the world,
including Africa and other seas,
and may pose a disease risk.
Bushmeat comes from a variety of wild animals
including bats, non-human primates, monkeys, apes,
and cane rats, and duker, a type of antelope.
Fuck you if you're doing that.
You also can't trust the CDC though,
you know what I call them?
The Cringe Disinfo Cucks.
That's what I call them.
Very good.
I call them the criminal Democrat.
Criminal from China.
From China, yeah.
The criminal Democrats from China cringe disinfo cucks
Well Devon I'll have you know that bush me is illegal bush meats
Bushmeat in any amount found at US ports of industry will be destroyed along with any other personal items
So there's a guy at the like US ports who just burns monkeys all day
He opens boxes pours monkeys out and then puts petrol on them and lights them day. He opens boxes, pours monkeys out,
and then puts petrol on them and lights them up.
He probably does.
Yeah, he's in a big bulldozer
just pushing a pile of monkeys together.
So yeah, these kids that ate the bat,
and God knows what else they had for lunch that day.
Yeah.
You know, they developed a new disease,
and everyone's dying in the Congo from it.
Is that still going, the Congo that they killed 50 people?
Day in like a week. It just says that like people are dying, but it's like they're just dropping dead
Yeah, it's like people that didn't eat the thing or dying. Yes. Well, here's the good news people
You know, there's no planes landing in the Congo
So, you know, they have fun traveling like those for ought to across the Pacific Ocean
You're never gonna get here.
Kill everybody you want.
Yeah, they can't just lie here, right?
No, no, I will not allow it.
I think what, I think.
I forbid, there's a, the way, remember Trump did
a Muslim ban or something on like at the airports
or something like that?
Yeah, I remember that.
No Africa Airlines as long as no
Africa Airlines sorry the whole country has to be locked up now that this is happening because they can't help themselves
Their little babies eat bats these are mommy's Milky
These days it seems like every airline is an Africa airline
With this damn whoa doing fucking and oneape trip, tricks in the sky,
landing upside down, hot dogging it.
You got half man, half amazing doing barrel rolls up there.
You got the Jumpman logo flying your damn plane.
You're gonna be looking like the falling man
because of the Jumpman.
I'm actually afraid to get on a flight.
I've been meaning to visit my parents
for two months. I've just been putting it off. I think they're very mad at me because
I haven't texted them. And I know it probably is just that they're putting more eyes on
it now so we're seeing them. But I'm like, I don't know. Well, I saw it and it's reminding
me of how terrifying that looks. Now I'm scared. I don't want to do it right now. We were planning
on doing another little tour, but fuck that. No, fuck that shit. I'm not gonna do it We were gonna we were planning on doing another like a little tour, but fuck that no fuck that shit
I'm not getting on a plane. Jase you gonna see mommy dad. I keep putting it off
I think I'll just I'll just completely end my relationship with them, so I won't have to fly there. Not a bad idea
Yeah, I just yeah, I really don't want to get on a plane after months
It could be a lot of people kill their parents. They cut their heads off
They then kill themselves in the garage sure
You're if I the way I kind of see it. I think you're being nice
Yeah, Lee Lee you live and let live you're not gonna walk into mom and dad's house with a shotgun
No, didn't say mom dad sit down. I go happy birthday
You in cold blood yeah
I'm getting interviewed by Truman Capote.
Why'd you kill your dad?
I listen to your podcast, it's actually really racist
and fucked up.
Can you fuck me in the ass?
I wanna get fucked by a criminal.
Have you ever seen the movie Capote
with Philip Seymour Hoffman?
Yeah, yeah.
There's a very funny part where they're like,
almost played, they're like,
what was his mystical fascination with this criminal
It's cool. He's like I think I want the guy to fuck me in the ass and I drink it's cup
But they have to play it is like this literary metaphor of like oh he was fascinated by that world
Even though he's a New York socialite. I think Phil Siraphan won the Oscar or something
Yeah, he's in much better roles in my opinion
Do you think that's why he died of heroin, is because he had to play a gay guy seven
years before that?
In 2000, I was like, I can't believe I had to play that fucking gay guy.
I'm going to shoot an unlethal amount of heroin right now to forget about that.
The thing that sucks about, because I'm okay with dates sometimes.
I think he died February 2nd, 2014.
Wow, that's very weird of you to know.
Is that right?
Am I right?
Someone can look it up.
Yeah, I don't know.
In my head it was 2012, 2011.
2014 actually seems a little too recent.
Yeah, I thought it's been earlier than that.
I thought it was almost like-
When did Moneyball come out?
Moneyball came out in 2014, so it might have been 2013. Okay. Yeah Wow
February 2nd
There you go, all right, so
So, do you know how he actually it's actually it's this
Every heroin overdose is usually sad right unless? Unless the guy like sucks ass.
There's some happy ones.
Sure, there are some.
I'm glad he's not in pain anymore sort of things.
The last thing he did, he texted his friend.
I wanna watch the Knicks.
Knicks game.
And the guy, apparently they were gonna watch the Knicks
and then the guy was like, oh, I'm sorry.
I'm busy. I'm busy.
And he was like, well, all right,
I'm gonna kill myself with heroin.
Which honestly, the most relatable thing I've ever seen.
I mean, yeah, who wants to watch the Knicks?
That's how you kill yourself, though.
Or just a friend canceling on you,
and for whatever reason, you're like,
you know what, I'll show him,
I'll fucking kill myself tonight.
That's how you go either all watch this basketball game,
or I'll kill myself.
Those are my two choices today.
What am I gonna choose?
He figured out Luttrell Sprewell had a turned ankle, and he's like, well, I am I gonna choose? Yeah, he figured out what trial spree well had to turn to ankle and he's like well
I guess I'll kill myself tonight
What sucks do they found him with the needle in his arm? Yeah, like the classic like
Have you seen these pictures of Farley dead?
No, there's pictures. Yeah
With foam coming out of his mouth and stuff. It's really really tragic Jesus
I don't know why they took well, I guess they had to. Are those real pictures or was that cool lip?
You know, I like to think Folly would have appreciated
that joke.
I like the thing himself.
Yeah, they actually found him dead.
He had crashed into the coffee table like Matt Foley.
In an ironic twist.
No wait, really?
There's pictures of?
Yeah, my friend Sam told me about him and I looked them up
And I was like, oh shit it you're a bird. I
Everybody did not look them up. They're actually horrific
Yeah, I thought it just kind of be a fat guy on the floor
But like his mouth is a gape and there's foam everywhere staring was probably
He was dying. Yeah, I'm all sitting in shit before he actually died
I think he's like crawling on the ground
Begging the hooker like please don't leave me don't leave me. I don't want to be alone
And that's how you know but then she left right and then he died any day
Yeah, he read it more after she left. I imagine did more of the eight ball. Yeah
Did cartwheels yeah apparently there's a tape Belushi made of himself the night he did that eight
ball and died. And it's never been made public.
Yeah, there is this tape. I heard a fucking Bill, Epic, Murray.
Bill fucking Murray talking about it. Bill fucking Murray thought, yeah.
Okay, so this is, speaking of great big fat guys, I wanted to get into this. So my friend
Jake sent me an article of the Pendejo Time podcast. Him and Thomas have
at little killer online. Really funny podcast. Me and Devin have done it before. I just want to plug them.
Jake sent me an article. Jason, did you read this from the New York Times? It's a thing about Ozempic.
No. This is so so here's what's crazy right now. There's a war going on between the pharmaceutical
industry and the food industry.
So they estimate that by 2035,
there'll be 25 million people on Ozempic
because it's a miracle drug.
There's 100 million people that are obese right now.
It's working so well that a lot of food industries,
processed foods, fast food,
are actually really panicking right now.
They hate Ozempic.
I don't know if you guys keep up with Domino's.
Domino's stock is in the tank.
A lot of these places are eating shit right now
and it's because people are getting Ozempic.
And when you're on Ozempic, it makes you crave,
I didn't know this, it makes you crave whole foods,
foods you actually need.
It gets you off the processed stuff.
The sugars and the salts.
It does, it helps you crave good food? You put what it said in this article in the New York Times.
I think it just helps you eat less so you crave stuff that actually gives you nutrients.
Right, right, interesting.
Yeah, because you just are not eating that much.
So the war right now in the fast food industry is they're hiring all these scientists that
are trying to make food more addictive.
So they want sugars and salts to hit your bloodstream
even faster than it already did.
They're trying to build superhuman McDonald's stuff
where it would break through Ozzypic
and get people to go off of Ozzypic
and come back to McDonald's.
Nabisco's hiring Stringer Bell
to make their Doritos recipe.
Apparently they're on a whole new level right now.
Stringer Bell has little reading glasses
looking at a beaker's.
I want you to put the word out that we more fatten up.
Yeah, I want you to put the word out,
our scale's back up, the weight back up.
Stringer Taco Bell.
Ha ha ha.
Apparently this shit is about to get real.
I personally have been eating more fast food than ever in my life.
Yeah, you actually have been on insane bin.
You're gonna read the benefits.
Dude two weeks ago I did a talk about 3.30 at McDonald's at five and then I did a talk
about again at eight and I already had breakfast and lunch and now when I order McDonald's
I get way more.
I'm kind of thinking about getting McDonald's after this again even though I just had McDonald's.
I want it like back to back to back.
When I do it I can't get off of it.
This is purely anecdotal,
but I don't know what's in the food anymore,
but I will say the fast food,
have you guys had fast food lately?
It's been hitting like it's never hit before.
They have figured out something at these places.
Yeah, they might have done something,
because I gotta say I've had my fair share of nights
where I've gotten the drunk Taco Bell,
and it's been fine, and there was that month,
recently, last month.
You got pulled in for the first time.
I got Taco Bell twice in like a three week period,
like after we recorded and I was already, whatever,
and I woke up at like 4 a.m. both times,
like heart racing.
One of the nights I literally went to the bathroom
and made myself throw up the Taco Bell,
and then I was like, oh, I'm fine now.
I went to bed.
You just gotta fight through the wall.
But it was like, I've never had,
I always kept everything down my whole life.
You're having like Tony Soprano panic attacks
because of the Chalupa.
I was like, are they doing something new to the Taco Bell?
I think they are, my friend.
I am loving what I'm seeing.
They might have added the sodium or something,
increased it.
Yeah, they're putting oxycodone in it or some shit.
They gotta have that sugar and salt
hit your bloodstream even faster.
It's gotta get in your bloodstream faster.
It's all about the mechanism.
Exactly, the delivery system.
That's why cigarettes are so addictive because it enters your bloodstream faster. It's all about the mechanism. Exactly. The delivery system.
That's why cigarettes are so addictive, because it enters your bloodstream in like a second,
basically.
Yeah.
So, you know, you want to pay an amount of money for a thing that's going to make you
feel a certain way.
What's the David Foster Wallace thing?
It's the... He goes, there's something very romantic... He says something brilliant,
where he's like, the most American thing is buying something
that makes you feel a certain way
for a certain amount of time.
And he's talking about the consistency in that.
He was a fag actually.
I do love David Foster Wallace,
but every time I tried to club,
it's like he said something about fast food.
It was really wordy and smart.
He had a bandana on.
He just had a bandana and he looked cool as shit and then he hung himself in Torrance.
Wasn't he like, he was like in Riverside or something when he hung himself.
Yeah, or he was, wasn't he a teacher at the Pomona?
At Pomona, yeah.
Pomona, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, hung himself in a garage.
I know someone who knew someone who saw him before he died, like, because everyone was
like, oh, David's different, and went over to see him.
And David was bedridden.
And this author said that he was completely unrecognizable.
His personality, the way he looked,
he was just a completely different human being.
Covered in bandanas.
Was he going through a breakup or something?
He had to go off his antidepressants
because the blood pressure was going to,
his blood pressure kept skyrocketing
and was going to kill him.
Because he ate like shit?
Well, he wasn't a healthy guy, but.
I think it was more anxiety,
and he had to get off his antidepressants.
He was like, I think I'm good now,
and he just crashed.
Well, his doctors also told him he was going to die
really young because of hypertension and everything else.
Because of the, some antidepressants
will give you blood pressure issues, like lithium, things like that. Yeah, but so he went. Because of the, some antidepressants will give you
blood pressure issues, like lithium, things like that.
I don't know what he was on.
He went off of it, got insanely depressed,
went back on him, and for whatever reason,
they just didn't work again after he went off of it.
He lost his ability to write, which is the thing
that is his identity and everything else, you know.
Oh, I didn't know this.
Yeah, and he just sort of wasted away
and then hung himself with a bunch of bandanas
he stringed together. He texted Philip Seymour Hoffman. He couldn't get to a Knicks game
And they he hung himself like an orphan escaping in the 1940s
The reason we bring the bandana on before he hung himself you do wonder right yeah
on before he hung himself. You do wonder, right?
Yeah.
I wonder if he was a brainlet and his brain was exposed.
I always thought he had killed himself much earlier.
The bandana was just covering a hole in his head.
Oh, that's literally what I just said.
That's so funny.
I said, what if his brain was just exposed behind the bandana?
He's a brainlet.
He's like a retard.
What if you go to read his suicide notes at 900 pages long?
You just can't stop. I don't even know if he had a suicide note. Yeah
His suicide and I said what up dough? Yeah, what up?
And he says Budweiser frog
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Okay, I have to go now a 14 year old needs to buy weights and carbonated poison. Goodbye now
Oh, I almost forgot rubies flowers wi.com
So there we go, thank you Vikram
Ruby's flowers and a Vikram sent me some goodies that I have not got to partake of yet
But there's little things for sleep that my wife is encouraging me to take yes
That's a bunch of gummies
It's like the sleep ones with their great melatonin you will you tried the I don't know the rubies flowers is tremendous
But I've had no you love you've been begging Jace to get more of it
I was your cheap ass you won't go buy it from the guys cuz I'm a fucking chip ass
She's at the mall
Fourteen years old. 14 year old Chinese guy.
You cheap ass.
Let's go to Din Tai Fung and not tip.
Stupi.
Is that all the gay ads?
Yeah, that's all.
Well, let me end this one.
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Goodbye, everybody. That's flowers. Flowers everybody. Goodbye everybody.
That's all the gay ads.
That's all the gay ads.
They go David, that was the magic of David.
He loved commercialism.
He actually loved irony at the end.
Yeah, he was a very ironic guy.
That's why he wrote, what's up, peace out.
There's always this thing,
there's a movement on X like once a year
where people are like, you guys ready for post irony?
The irony is over.
I'm like, oh buddy, you have no idea.
The irony hasn't gone deep enough, my friend.
The most viral videos I see now,
I was telling Jason, it's just Peter Griffin AI
saying the N word.
Playing Fortnite, that's every viral clip.
I told you, I spent the whole weekend
with my girlfriend's family,
and there's like three five-year-olds there,
and I was watching their iPads,
and it's just Peter Griffin in a bandana.
He's like, what's up, my YNs?
How's it going?
And he's like, buy Roblox with your dad's credit card.
Give me money.
And I'm just like, they are getting gigafried.
Like, you're watching, they run up to their parents,
and they literally go, they go like,
ah, like crack addicts, and they give them a phone.
And then it's like, you might as well put their brain
in an actual microwave and just fry it
and put it back in their brain.
You should just execute your children.
Yeah.
They're not well equipped to handle anything.
Yeah.
People are suing their high schools now.
They're graduating with honors.
There's this girl this year, graduated with honors.
She went to college. And then she realized she couldn't read or write.
And they said, well, did you,
but she passed high school with honors,
so now she's suing her high school,
because they'll just, you know, they keep,
it's the Carlin bit, lower the test scores
rather than make the children have higher tests,
it just makes the tests easier.
And it's funny, if you talk about this,
people will just go like, oh, I get it,
phones are bad, and they're like,
does it affect you?
And they're like, I can't read.
But you're gay for saying phones are bad?
That's it, a lot of people have MRIs on Reddit.
That's the popular Reddit brain theory.
Do you know about that?
No, what's this?
Where people are posting MRIs on Reddit
where it's showing that there's holes in their head in their brain
They're just big black
Really? Yeah, I think what it is is that I don't think it's specifically from using reddit
I think some people if you scroll for
let's say you wind down your day scrolling for like two to four hours just
Let's say you wind down your day scrolling for like two to four hours just
There's parts of your brain that just start turning off. I think where it goes. We don't need this part of our
Head anymore. Yeah, shut it the fuck down your brain literally tells you by like oh, hey I think we're actually a monkey that's trapped in a cage being experimented on so you can just shut all this
Yeah, you're like putting yourself in the hole in prison.
In solitary.
Yeah, you're like, I'm going to spend another night in the hole.
Yeah, you're doing the opposite of solitary.
You're having so much entertainment, you don't exist anymore.
You're disappearing.
Have you guys ever scrolled for like 15 minutes
and someone asks you a question?
Yeah.
And then you realize, hold on, I'm retarded right now.
Wait 10 seconds for me not to be retarded.
My wife will ask me a question and I'll go, what?
She's like, what?
And I'll go, well what?
What I mean?
I'll be scrolling absolute nonsense
and my mom will text me and the banner will come down
and I'll go, get the fuck out of her.
I know.
Watching George Droid videos.
What happened with Maldoni?
I know watching George
I know I'll be watching a George Lucas interview from 1974 on my phone And then my girlfriend comes home from work, and I get pissed off
I have to I have to pretend I'm not watching the George Lucas interview for five minutes
While she talks about her day, and I'm just like whoa that's crazy
putting close
Caption on I was like I was like man, he really fucked up with Jar Jar.
What an idiot.
Yeah, the phone fucking sucks.
What are you gonna do, man?
I mean, you're gonna have, look, we need the pacifiers.
You gotta have the binkies.
If you don't have the binkies,
you're not gonna survive.
This being said, I do think everyone's a fucking huge pussy
that they talk about the whole screen time before bed thing affecting your sleep. I
happily
Scroll all night in bed looking at really absolute nonsense
I thought you have sleeping problems, and I just recently because of you know
Things and but it's good. it's gotten a lot better.
But I'll look at, I'll just like,
and I have the TV on back of me too.
I have so many screens going.
You're actually videotaping the TV with your phone
to look at it.
And I actually, I hire a man to walk into the room
and set off firecrackers and shit.
I go, I don't care.
I don't even care.
You hire a little Chinese boy.
A little Chinese man with firecrackers in his asshole,
he's naked, wearing a thong,
and I don't care about you, Ming, fuck off.
I just keep scrolling, and then I literally happily,
I go, I go to bed.
It's like not that hard.
This whole Huberman bullshit.
So can I say, most nights I do read,
when I read, I stay up longer.
If I get on my phone, I fall asleep kind of immediately.
It's really weird.
Because sometimes the book is good
and I go why I don't want to put it down
because I want to see what happens.
I tried the reading thing.
I've been reading Johnny Cash's autobiography, Cash.
Oh yeah, I was it.
It's tremendous, he's an amazing,
I can only care about things
if they were written by legends.
Well I love that you love American heroes too, like Cash.
Thanks. A man who defined Americana love American heroes, too, like Cash. Thanks.
A man who defined Americana.
It's really shockingly well-written.
He's great.
But I read that a few times before bed, and I put that down.
I'm thinking about Johnny Cash's whole fucking life.
If I'm on the phone, it's mindless.
That's what I've been doing.
I put it down, I go, whoa.
I go immediately to bed.
I've been playing chess on my phone
and the chess has been making me stay up till 3 a.m.
because I'm using my brain.
Yeah.
And it keeps, it's.
Now you're up.
Now I'm up.
It's almost like you do need to poison yourself
with the light and the noises and the sounds.
Yeah.
And it's almost like carbon monoxide poisoning.
Like it makes my brain shut off.
I wanna talk to Hiram about that
because I don't think that's correct.
Does he know anything?
The blue light.
Can we stop with him?
The blue light stuff.
You think Andrew Huberman knows anything?
No.
Hasn't he been massively wrong?
He reads science articles.
You're actually more retarded if you know too much.
We know this now.
We know this, the most retarded people know the most.
What a hellish life to study everything.
You're smarter if you know less.
It's gotta be really hellish to be like,
do a three hour podcast on like,
putting your left leg more commonly
in front of your right or something.
Going up steps.
Hot drinks versus cold drinks.
Are we really talking about, yeah exactly, hot like iced water versus lukewarm.
He goes, there's a study where they wasted money
at Columbia and they found that forks with three prongs
actually improve your metabolism.
Come on, do you know how finished you are
if you're actually at the level of like worrying
about whether you're drinking like room temperature water
versus cold for your health?
Well so this is the thing,
what is the point of being alive if much of your energy
and focus and attention has to go to longevity?
If you make it to 90 and I make it to 70,
but you spent 20 years more of your waking time and hours
being like, huh, should I have a cold drink at 8 a.m.
or a warm one?
Worrying about that for weeks on end
and listening to podcasts and doing research.
What was the point?
All those periods of time you're not alive anyway.
It doesn't matter.
It didn't matter.
Because you're a manic tunnel vision guy.
Are you gonna be on your deathbed being like,
I'm so glad I optimized my fucking productivity
as you pass away?
By the way, what is this productivity everyone has to get to?
Everyone acts like they're building
the fucking Sistine Chapel.
You're a nothing nobody weirdo retard.
We all pretend, everybody pretends to make spreadsheets
for a living.
Everyone's constantly acting like they gotta get
to their work station.
Your work is fake.
Hey, the only-
Watch TV and die.
The only, the only people who are actually productive are building skyscrapers and they eat Doritos and Dr
Pepper all fucking day and their guts look like cancer. Yeah, you guys you guys are way too
blue-pilled on this actually
You guys sound like Marxists. Yeah, you sound like communists. Yeah, and you're red-pilled
Red pill does actually really be wanting to be really good at the. Yeah, and you're red-pilled. Red-pilled is actually wanting to be really good
at the Matrix.
That's what being red-pilled is.
Red-pilled is being in your pod and being like,
how can I get better at my pod job?
Did you see the photo someone took of,
again, this is in regards to appreciation of art.
Sure.
There was a pretty viral photo a few days ago
of a guy who was at a museum in Italy.
And it looks exactly what you think it would.
It's just beautiful, mind-blowing oil paintings,
huge gold frames, pristine high ceilings,
palatial architecture, just beautiful.
I couldn't imagine getting to step foot in a museum like that
Whoa, I've been to some in Austria that blew my mind that I still think about today weird crazy shit, right?
But in the photo, there's a kid
Beneath like this beautiful painting. He's sitting on his phone. He's playing fortnight on his
Everybody's like, oh, well the kids,
and it's like you guys don't even care
if kids get fucked, first of all.
You don't care if they get trafficked.
The Epstein thing is a complete joke to everybody.
Now you're gonna pretend that you care
about kids' education.
And here's the other thing too
that my friend Jake pointed out to me.
It's like, you gotta admit that in the short term,
your phone is a fuckload of more fun
than staring at a goddamn painting.
So leave the nine-year-old alone,
and stop taking photos of children and uploading them.
You can't make an argument that that kid's wrong, technically.
He's technically right.
He's actually right in the short term.
In the long term, you won't have a...
You gave him the phone.
We live in a world where it's necessary to have the phone.
You're not gonna be able to shut
Off all the access to all the websites and all the apps so like what is he supposed?
Yeah, what do you what what if you went to Michael Angel and you gave him a modern-day cell phone with pornography and tech talking be
Like oh this fucking sculpture shit is gay as fuck
Fuck this dude. I taught I spent three years teaching myself how to do the artery in the left hand
I could be watching Mia Khalifa get ass fucked right now. Have you seen the Ken Burns?
Documentary about the Vinci yet. No, it's like an eight-part thing. Is it good? It's supposedly amazing
I've seen clips of it on CBS Sunday morning, but Da Vinci taught himself
He looked master geometry
Because if you look at like the Last Supper and everything, everything like lines up perfectly with lines.
I mean he was brilliant, right?
He loves all that like Fibonacci principle type shit.
Yeah, crazy shit.
Like he had to get really good at math to get good at,
like he was obviously Da Vinci, one of the greatest,
whatever.
But it is funny to think that like present day,
he's just like drawing me a Khalifa on his wall
with a big f***ing stick.
And like Homer Simpson is f***ing her on his ceiling,
his popcorn ceiling.
Yeah, he's drawing, he goes, here's my perfect man,
it's the guy in the circle, but it's Homer Simpson,
he's got a huge dick, and that's what he's drawing.
And he goes, this kicks ass.
He's airbrushing T-shirts at the mall
of Bart Simpson's smoking weed for $20 a piece.
He's wearing a tally t-shirt
What was that was that an earthquake? Well, that's a big one. Oh, there's an earthquake happening right now
Well, that was big that shook the whole fuck. That was crazy. That was like a bomb dropped
Yeah, I thought somebody's I thought somebody slammed the door outside. No, but there was an aftershock, right?
Yeah, there was yeah, there was a little rumble. Yeah
Go on Twitter. Yeah, let me let me see on Twitter Twitter always has hey hey couldn't have this we were stuttering arteries
Yeah, I can read that fucking idiots fuck you
Okay, he just texted me well. I guess you know hey. It was a tremendous night in LA
Hey, did she wake up?
Yeah, earthquake comes see seeing earthquake all over Twitter.
Alright, excellent, good, somebody's not breaking in.
She's not crying, she's okay.
Okay, cool, alright, love you, sorry we're recording right now.
Yep, earthquake.
Earthquake.
Damn, that was like a, that was, they usually, they usually, you just start shaking, that
was like, that was a big one.
I thought someone broke in upstairs.
Me too, I thought something bad happened.
Luckily we're in the safest place.
Under the house.
They say the basements are the safest place.
But won't it come down?
That's a prank they're pulling.
Is that fake?
Well if the house comes down, like we're dead.
This is an old cement house though.
Oh, so it wouldn't come down on the cement.
Or not cement, but this is an old, like,
it was built, I don't know.
It's like a gas chamber.
Many faggots have come here and told us it's safe.
Jase, many fags have told us it's fine.
Yeah, a guy shows up, he goes,
hey, I'm the fag from the city.
All I know in the 92 quick, literally my first memory
Really?
Was being taken down to the hate watch studio,
which was just like my dad's office. Uh-huh. It was whatever.
And yeah, they thought that was the safest place.
Do you remember the shaking?
Yeah.
I just remember looking up and seeing people be like,
ah!
Like running downstairs.
How big was that one?
It was one of the biggest quakes in LA history.
I think it was the biggest.
No, the one that just happened.
Oh, right now?
Yeah. Yeah, tell us how big it happened. Oh, right now? Yeah.
Yeah, tell us how big it is though. Oh, it came out of Burbank.
Panora caused an earthquake.
Yeah, people are already making these games.
Armenian films.
Fucking kill yourself.
Of all time.
Just said two days ago, California hit by seven earthquakes
in less than 24 hours.
Yeah, that happens all the time.
Yeah, it's not a big deal.
It happens in Bakersfield, it's not a big deal.
It happens in Bakersfield, it's not real.
Calm down, man.
A.9 earthquake.
Yeah, yeah, that was just one, hold on.
Oh wait, that wasn't it?
I don't think they've added it.
LA Quickbot stinks.
Fuck you, LA Quickbot.
Fucking hell.
My daughter woke up, but she just thought it was funny.
It is funny, because babies, they just get thrown around in their crib violently and they just start laughing.
It's fun.
Oh, she could see a nuclear mushroom on the horizon
and she'd start clapping.
Four minutes ago, detected in Beverly Hills.
3.6?
Detected in Beverly Hills, wow.
Devin, the stars are out. The stars are out. That's a huge, for 3.6, that
was massive under here. That was shaking. It's more about the proximity than it is the
size a lot of times. It's the, that's like a dick thing. Yeah. Well, it might have started
here because that felt like the beginning. I've literally been sitting on the couch and I've heard that noise in the distance,
and then seconds later I'll start shaking.
That happened, the scariest way I've ever been,
I was dog-sitting at Ben's house,
and I was sleeping in the bed,
and I woke up because I heard something in the distance,
and I just threw the bed against the wall, basically.
The shockwave came,
and I thought it was like a ghost at first.
I thought it was like being poltergeist.
They can be very, very creepy.
It's crazy that you can just die
talking about Bart Simpson smoking weed
or whatever we were talking about.
Imagine.
Could have been our last moments.
They find the video camera
and like it's a Werner Herzog moment.
They're like,
Well you know I wonder about that though.
Telling Katie to never listen to this.
With earthquakes in LA, like we don't have,
like I feel like, do people die in LA from earthquakes?
Nah, never. They're usually just very scary.
I think the 92 on four people died or some shit.
Yeah, and I imagine they lived on those houses
with like stilts holding them up on Hollywood Hills.
They were guys like window washing that fell down.
In shitty, in these shitty countries,
like they'll, because the building's made of,
like, you know, there's no, like, regulations.
Do you wanna know the actual estimates?
I know them, off the top of my head.
So, when the big one finally comes for LA,
about 3,500 people will die.
This will be from gas lines rupturing,
electrical lines falling,
So it hits so hard that the gas line goes off
and then explodes or something?
Well, and also, we know LA is incendiary,
so once the place goes up and there's not enough firefighters
and everyone's rescued and this and that,
we don't have the resources,
everybody will mostly die in a fire if they do die.
You won't die from something falling on you.
Although, I can run away from a fire.
I don't really understand how anyone dies in a fire.
I think you're a lizard.
Yeah, you're kind of retarded if you die in a fire.
I think you're a...
No offense to all the people who died in a fire.
Literally, the only people we heard about that died in the fire
This last fire was like it was just like, you know wine moms like letting the retarded child scream in the back house
Yeah, how that would look like a daddy long legs. Yeah, like oh, yeah
This palace for days moms who were throwing like their Xanax bottles at the fire trying they thought it would make the fire sleepy
Well, that's a Patreon.
Well, you're already on Patreon, I guess,
but I guess you might be listening on audio.
So if you're listening on audio,
patreon.com slash Limit Party,
we're gonna go do a bonus episode now
before the house comes down.
God bless you, folks.
God bless you. Spread the news.
God bless you all.
Yeah, and if you can talk about the show,
because we've been taking off,
has been said the second biggest search engine in the world.
Yeah, the first is Google, and then Google owns YouTube,
you know, and YouTube's the second biggest.
YouTube's really the biggest, you know?
You can always help the show by telling people
you can trust about it, you know?
Yep.
Getin' the word out.
Just don't tell your HR department.
Yeah.
Or whatever, but also people aren't woke anymore,
so do tell them.
I don't understand the issue anymore.
I'm a little sick of the whole, like,
I can't even tell.
I mean, what are you talking about?
Everyone's deranged.
That friend you're afraid to tell
is posting Hitler's swag shit on Twitter.
Shut up.
Well, everyone's a fucking pussy, too,
because they go like, they're like,
I can't even tell anyone to listen to this show.
And they go, they're fucking fags.
They didn't go hard enough this episode.
I'm like, you don't even tell people
you listen to the show.
You're a pussy.
You're a fucking pussy, fag.
There's also a lot of fans who are like, fuck you. There's also a lot the one who's, you're a fucking pussy cat. Fuck you.
There's also a lot of fans who are like, I love you.
And we love you, please never leave us.
Yeah.
I didn't do soy face though, should I close out with a soy?
You should close out with soy face.
Close out with a little soy.
Yeah, and that's when the roof collapses
while you're soying out.
Just the last thing you see.
Earthquake soy! Alright, well-
Bye everybody!
Goodbye.
Folks, let's go over to the Petro now.
Love you.
Thank you so much. Bye bye. Out in the West Texas town of El Paso I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Polina would whirl
Blacker than night were the eyes of Polina Wicked and evil while casting a spell
My love was deep for this Mexican maid I was in love but in vain I could tell
One night a while young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind