lemonparty - 127: حزب الليمون

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

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I'm going to be singing. Hey. Hey, look at him go. Look at him go. Are you walking back like you're on the moon. All right, just setting up. Just normal podcast stuff. Just normal, ordinary podcast stuff. So I watched Snow White. Oh yeah? Did you guys? Did you guys? Fuck my ass.

Is your ass too fat to fit in that lawn chair? I'm gaining weight like... I'm still smelling your farts by the way and there's like 50 mile per hour winds. I was afraid you guys were gonna swallow me. Well you actually, he farted over there, it's finally blowing over here. It's literally going into like a tornado system. It's hitting you once every 15 minutes. Making sure we're rolling here.

Are we rolling? Yeah, sounds good. I'm sure it's way better than our studio Where's my sprite? Oh your sprites back here? Let me get a bag. Oh What do you guys think waltz barrels are your angel Reese sprites are very good Do you want to do the intro to beware by Jay Z are you gonna check that Wow so I saw I saw snow white last night by the way. And the seven dwarves? So you support woke?

It's so DEI it sucks. It's full of DEI right? It's actually full of DEI. Is it really? I'm not even kidding. It's DEI bullshit. Like what? Are all the dwarves gay? They all fuck each other? The dwarves...the dwarves fucking suck ass.

But that's if you can make it 30 minutes in so I made it a time I made it 31 minutes Walked out. Did you go by yourself? Or did you take your family? No, I will my friend I will my six-year-old friend My friend is six you have a kid and you're in the big brother you're with your neighbors that I met the other day The kids that live across the street. They came over and me and Clay were watching your daughter and they were like, can your daughter play with us?

And I was like, OK. And then we just brought her over and left. Interesting. I guess that's what you can do in nice neighborhoods. Yeah, she just stayed across the street. And we're like, shoot, they're Jews. They could be circumcising her. We don't know.

So what's up with this Rachel Ziegler in the movie? Because this is their last movie, this might be her last year on Earth, actually. Yeah, though. I read Twitter, right? Yeah, Michael Eisner put out a hit on her. People are trying to murder her. Let me tell you something, we need to kill this bitch.

Rachel Ziegler, she's got no tits. The Goofy has a piano wire behind her back right now, about to choke her like good fellas. She's committed treason. It's DEI. The new Snow White is DEI. Yeah, Devin Hansen's dad did fly across the country to try and have her killed.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, he got on a plane to rape Rachel Ziegler. Yeah. Yeah. You saw the show where his son was defending. Yeah, his son wrote a huge thing. Yeah. My dad owns a fucking multi-billion dollar company.

And he had to leave his family. Leave his fucking family. His two 36-year-old fail sons. I bet dollar company and he had to leave his family is fucking his two thirty six year old fail son I bet it's like the white lotus his family is just his sons are just fucking each other and it's just an incestuous billion dollar Yeah, they're cartwheeling into a standing 69 Yeah, just making sure the audio is good all right the camera I put a bunch of rocks around it was the only that lasts a great The camera, I put a bunch of rocks around it. We'll see how long that lasts.

It's a great location. Very easy and smooth. Easy to get to. Cheers. McDonald's is close by. The guy who owns it looks like he's going to kill us and fuck our bodies after we're dead. Abraham Justice.

His headshot is all over the land. Well, don't say his name. He's posting photos of himself with guns all over the property. He's holding a gun on the way in. He wants his name to be out there. There's headshots everywhere with his name on them. His headshot does look like the guy's the IDF made up that killed babies.

I also don't think that's a legal name. I don't think you go to the phone book and be like, where is Mr. Justice? I need Abraham Justice, the first Jewish superhero. This is so, I feel like we're in the fucking acid trap. Your Amazon bag blowing 40 miles away. God damn it. That's poetic.

That's American beauty right there. Cheers. Cheers, folks. Cheers. So we walked out 31 minutes in, because we actually couldn't take it anymore. And we went up to the front desk, and we were like, we demand to have our money back.

We need our tickets refunded. It's that bad. You demanded money back? Everybody behind the counter started laughing. And we were like, what, is that so ridiculous? And they go, no, no, no, this has just been happening all week. Right. They issued a refund immediately.

They say half the people walk out. So you say because of woke, you do edit a refund? I think it's just also bad. Dude, it's legitimately that bad. I think even really gay people that wanted to like are like, this fucking sucks, I'm gonna go vote for Trump. It's a musical, by the way. They keep breaking out into song every like two minutes.

Really? Yeah. About how she has no tits, I have no tits, I have a cup, She's moderately attractive if you don't look at her the top of her head. She's got that mole on her chin too, where I'm like, listen, you don't deserve to be a famous Hollywood actress

if you have a little mole. Sorry. Why does she keep making retard face throughout the movie, by the way? I think that's just your face. Does she just look like that? It really sucks ass. Yeah, I think somebody else said that she looks

like Roger the Alien from American Dad. My wife kept going, she goes, stop, you're being mean. I'm like, she's fucking ugly. Like, she's a fucking ugly person. I was mad. I don't find her attractive. She's like, stop, stop, you're being mean. I'm like, she's fucking ugly. Like she's a fucking ugly person. I was mad. I don't find her attractive. I told her, she's like, stop, stop, that's really mean.

I'm like, she's a, and I showed my wife a picture because she goes, oh, okay, that makes perfect sense. She's like, yeah, it's a really ugly person. Really ugly person. And it's not because she's brown. It's only partly. So, I look. It's only half.

This bitch isn't black, by the way. What is she? She's like Puerto Rican, right? Half Colombian, half Polish. Two strikes. Damn, that's actually three. Your parents are two strikes, you're the third one. Get the fuck out of my country, bitch.

That's like you're trying to change a light bulb and then you break it and stab somebody with it. I'm sorry, but these bitches need tits. This country's giving her a great life. It is, it might snow white. She should look like fucking, she should look like a Bella Danger. Dude, imagine they made snow White, but she had H cups

Like the the witch is actually jealous because the witch thought she had the best tits Mirror mirror on the wall who's the best tits of them all and gal good those in her eyes. She's awful She's terrible. I didn't make it that far She's the wicked witch plays Netanyahu. She's awful. She's terrible. I didn't make it that far She's the wicked witch plays Netanyahu. Wait, she's the witch Yeah, she has the window to the the mirror used AI software to find Palestinian college students for her No, she's the wicked witch and they put her in a neck brace costume like Batman like the Michael Keene Batman So she's already bad actor, but she has to turn like Robocop to like look at people. Yeah, I heard that.

And she just, every clip I've seen, she looks insane. Yeah, it's like one of the worst movies I've ever made apparently. It's actually the worst thing I've ever seen. We, I want, so 10 minutes in, I would say 20% of the people walked out at that point. And then people started slowly filing out of the theater until we finally got out.

The other 80% were getting hand jobs. It was high schoolers getting hand jobs on a date. I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I didn't want to give it to the fucking DEI bullshit, but it's DEI bullshit, it needs to go. Well, the whole production was played. We didn't have this problem when... Is it DEI just because she's like,

the Snow White's like brown brown or is it the I because I think he was talking about how they changed how snow white goes because it was like no longer Is she like like doing it all for a man? Yeah? She's not getting like kiss while she's passed out type of shit I know the whole production. I think the problem was the production didn't know if it was woke or if it was Maga because early on they're like we're they I think they shot it with Midgets and they were like, oh people are mad. So we're just gonna replace the midgets with CGI It's big big faced animate they all look like Cambodian people they have like big moon faces

Well, I think the problem is that all this nonsense needs to go with her. Rachel's like, I don't know where she came from or what she's up to, but. She played Maria in the remake of West Side Story. She's just got that theater kid energy and she needs a smack on the face. She needs a wake up call.

Welcome to Hollywood. So here's one of the things with the casting you realize fucking Pamper people aren't raped anymore. They're not raped on the way up You gotta rape them on the way keeps them on yeah, if Everest was an elevator ride Would you really feel that good at the time if you're not getting you know? With a fucking deformed cock has never jacked off into a succulent in front of her. And it's really fucked with her. She's pompous.

The Disney execs actually tried to do a Ocean's a Level style breakout for Weinstein so he could rape Rachel Ziegler back into submission. That's why Candace Owen's just trying to get him to get him out of jail. There's a little Chinese guy in prison doing back flips trying to get Weinstein out. Do you think the whole time on set, Galgaot kept setting up like bear traps in her like in her trailer?

That's so good. It's a little yeah Big a big rope like tied to a little thing that pulls her up by the leg. Yeah Yeah, I got the dose put a putting a sticky bomb on her forehead Trying to kill her we got a, we gotta, cause like. They ruined Snow White. Which was my favorite movie. I'm supposed to. Because I'm a pedophile.

I'm supposed to check. It's my favorite movie. You think there's, you think there's. Snow White, it's damn Snow Black now. There's like based pedophiles that went to go see it and they like, they can't get hard. Cause they're like, it's just too woke. It's too woke.

It's too woke. DEI ruined my pedophile. Ruined my damn pedophile shit. They said just everybody is requesting refunds. Well, even the employees at Ed Theaters are making fun of it. There's like TikTok trends where they're pretending to do like a scene that Gal Gadot did

and it's just so bad. Like the employees just are like cackling with laughter and trying to impersonate it. Yeah, if you were saying even for gal Gadot It's a bad performance, but they didn't know she could be this bad And there's like there's like porn stars that are better actors than her She's one of the worst actresses I've ever there's people who get face fucked more convincingly than gal Gadot get acts It's bullshit like and I really hope they don't ruin Minecraft for me too because the Minecraft movie is coming out next week

Well, my only complaint is they didn't make the villagers Jewish enough in Minecraft. I don't I don't understand the reference unfortunately And you see the children and uh, so the funny thing about the trailer is it's Jack Black saying things for Minecraft Have you seen this? Yeah, like it's like the chicken jockey shows up and he goes, chicken jockey! And then like the zombies will show up and be like, zombie! Cause there's like very specific references to Minecraft. So the whole trailer, they've made super cuts of the trailer and it's 15 seconds of Jack Black

just pointing at something and saying the thing from the thing. I don't even know if it's Jack Black, it could just be like a Maine Coon cat that they put a tie-dye shirt on. It's hissing. Every scene is like, it's a ghost walks by and he goes,

Hiss! Just a big fat Maine Coon on its back. With the Tenacious D shoes. Tenacious D going, Hisssss, kickaboo. I didn't know anything about Minecraft because I don't fuck children. I don't know what Minecraft is. I did not know the villager.

I just saw the trailer. The villagers in Minecraft are like Hasidic Jews. Have you seen the pictures of them? No. They have big giant noses and like the beards. They all look like those UFC guys who are like Muslim but they're white at the same time. Is it a commentary?

I mean, shit's getting a little like out and open here now. I don't know. Apparently, I looked it up. I'm about to switch sides to Israel, I think. Yeah, you just out of boredom. I'm just like, yeah, you got this guy running. You know, you tune into Ben's livestream, you know, you wanna run for the hills.

What the hell, we're in the, look where we are, we are in the hills. That's true. Look at the, come on, we're, You hate Israel so much, we've converted. We've been radicalized. Yeah, come on, this is a new studio, what do you guys think?

Look where we are, this is the new show. This is what happens when you lose the March Madness podcast bracket. You move to the desert. Jokeworld's uh... I'm steamed now. Hold on. I am fucking peeved. Mm-hmm. I gotta do a walk real quick.

We're coming for you, Jokeworld. I gotta do a walk real quick, cause I'm pissed off. Yeah. We actually... I'm pissed off right now. We actually, uh, we converted to Islam to do a fatwa on Jokeworld. You can't even fight fraud with fraud. Then they fuck with the Dominion voting machines.

They say they're faulty. And then out of nowhere, Jokeworld starts a new election right under your nose on a website you don't even know where it's happening. It was an hour long vote, by the way, the extra vote. And listen, the other team, I don't even, should I even say their name? I don't want podcasts.

I would dignify them with a response. Devin. They rigged it. Can, allow me for a second. There's a fat-twa on Jokeworld's head, and me and Lemon Party are the ones that have declared it upon his head. Yeah, that being said, I do worry for him,

because I feel bad that I don't know what our fans have been putting him through for the last couple days. Oh no, we're definitely in the wrong by the end of this. We were in the right for maybe- There's a fat-twa on his head. We put a fat-twa. There were fans and I appreciate-

Jihad, this is Jihad. This is what happens. I didn't want to come out, I didn't want to convert. Me neither. But this is the only way you get things done apparently and keep people in line because this is an insurrection now. It's a damn insurrection. It's actually unbelievable what happened to democracy

in the last few days with this election. It dies in the darkness and Joke World made it dark. So basically, he screwed us. Devin, take us through it. Three in the morning. All right, listen up. And I talked about this on Hate Watch, whatever, but this is cause for a couple episodes.

The day we are in the, whatever, the lead eight. The lead eight. The lead eight, we're up against. In the Joke World March Madness comedy bracket. In the Joke World March Madness bracket, which it was really hard to find how to vote and go to the website, but we still found it. And this year we decided to promote it,

kind of like tongue in cheek, like yeah, who cares? But actually go vote for us. I was being un-Iron. We were getting natural enthusiasm. Our fans are just rabid. They rule. We were turning it into a resist type of meme. We were just joking with the Trump stuff,

like fight, fight, fight, and they were fucking voting for us. We weren't pumping the numbers. An amazing amount, I think we got up to 3,000 votes like naturally. Yeah, and then up to 3,000 votes naturally. Yeah. And then, you know, so we get to the Elite Eight. Right. We're up against the Elite Eight.

It's been a fair fight up to this point. And it was a fair fight. And we're up against. And famously, we've been cheated before out of this contest. We were cheated last year. And Joke World never looked into this fraud. Glassman cheated in the final round. He cheated against us in a round.

And then in the final round, he got like 25,000 votes I'm in character what I'm in character yeah Rick Glassman no in the finals last year Rick Glassman I think had a hundred thousand votes which is crazy because he has 14 fans organically. I mean, the guy that does podcasts with Todd Segar, he gets like 14,000. I thought it was a big podcast.

It probably is. I don't know. I like to say this. We just lie nonstop. We're Trump. We are Trump. It started off funny. And then by the end, we were clearly in the wrong. We're bullying a child who Trump. It's sort of fun and then by the end we are clearly in the wrong

We're bullying a child who runs a comedy podcast website. He's a lovely he seems like a good guy whatever but like this week They've broken into my compound This week they've penetrated the walls this week Lemon party fans are drowning me with their colostomy bags this week I've been chained up in a boxing container, a shipping container in the desert. Fatois.

Fatois. Fatois. Fatois. It's a fatois. It's a fatois. It's my first fatois and I kinda like it. Yeah. It's a good fatois.

And I know you can't be too liberal with the fatois, you gotta reserve, you do a fatois once every maybe seven years. Congratulations, Gene from Joke World. The seven year edge. Is this his first fatois by the way, or does he have people hunting him actively? No, the deereg and the deer tag actually tried to kill him last year.

So, but we did, I did have some fans messaging me like, sorry go ahead, go ahead. No, no, that's okay. I'm just explaining it for the people that maybe were, some of these bozos that were unaware of the drama the last few days. Some people living under a rock. Some people living under a fucking rock. Much like how we are now. Mm-hmm. We've, we've. We're like Muslim Patrick's star.

We're refugees now. Yeah. People without a land. We have no land. No studio, no YouTube. This is how the show ends. We're living in an open air prison. Which is recording a podcast once a week.

So it's the middle of the day, we enter the Elite Eight. Versus the Are You Garbage podcast. The Elite Eight. The Elite Eight. Ah! Ah! It's the Elite Eight. It's the Elite Eight, we're elite.

We're members of the eight. And throughout the day, I'm like, I think it's a Saturday or something, and I'm at a bar, I'm like, oh man, look at that. So I go, hey, vote for us again. Like, check, we're in the at that So I go hey vote for us again like check. We're in the you know the elite eight And I'm gonna win the lead our fans start voting and we're we have like a 1600 vote lead we're doing very well by the time I last looked at it at like 9 p.m Last time you looked we had I think 2700 votes. Yes, and they have every other show had max 900. Yes

I was like well. That's it. We won, unless somebody rigs it. I get home, I'm a little drunk, fun night. I'm in bed under my covers, and I just decide to check it real quick. And I realize that big, big fraud has happened throughout the night. Well, right, fucking right under my nose while I'm just having a good time at the bar,

I'm thinking the Elite Eight's gonna be smooth sailing for us. To the final four. To the final four. And I look and we're down like 400 votes. They have jumped like 4,000 votes in the span of a few hours. In an instant. And I just couldn't take it because of what happened last year with Classman. They not promoted the poll, by the way.

They never promoted it. Not promoted. So I was like maybe a fan of theirs decided to just like pay for a bot or they did. I don't know. Not pointing fingers here. I think it's garbage. But I immediately called Joey, who Joey is the king of running, you know, the Filipinos. He's worked, he's had many call centers. We did not know any of this was happening until the next day, by the way.

I did it on my own. We woke up to a all the president's men level conspiracy. I met with Joey in a parking garage and I handed him an envelope with $24 in it to send to an Indian man. Which bought us 500 Indian slaves. Chamden, Sumi, and Dagmar did some good work for us. Shout out.

Chamden really was one of the best. Shout out, shout out Sumi, who I believe Joey threatened multiple times. Joey told Sumi to wake all of her colleagues up at 4 30 a.m. and start get to voting. And she goes, yes sir, Mr. Joey said. Yes sir. So, so Joey, so I'm checking it.

I'm on the phone with Joey for like an hour and we're assembling a team and I start seeing the votes go up and I go, okay, this should be good. I go, but just, I go tell Sumi, don't make it too obvious. Just have us win by like a couple hundred couple thousand You're just trying to play a game that everybody else has been playing. Meanwhile while we're doing this for us I look at theirs our opponents and they're slowly crawling at 3 a.m

Are you garbage fans up at 4 in the morning voting in the elite 8? Almost like they're tracking our votes and then just getting barely over us. They kept going up like a thousand just in a second. I had no idea. So I wake up, I think maybe we just we casually rigged it to fight a rig. Right. Keep in mind we're fighting a rig. Right. We're making it too big to rig. Too big to rig. By also rigging it.

So I wake up, we have like 18,000 votes and I guess we're up, but they have 16,000. So I realize this is a battle of the rigs. Right, at this point we're made aware of what's going on. And I tell Ben and Jay, so my colleagues, so maybe I should have run this by. But you, I woke up to a text that said, big news guys. I was pissed. It was the middle of the night and I was like, not again.

We will not be burnied two years in a row. Because you are like, let us have one thing. You know what I mean? Whatever, because I was like, not again. We will not be burnied two years in a row. Because you are like, let us have one thing. Whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I was like, well, we have the enthusiastic fan base. And these podcasts are so big, I don't think there's psycho fans of these shows anymore.

They're just ubiquitous. They're huge shows. And I was like, well, they're voting for us almost ironically, but it's fun. Cool. That would be funny to be. And the fans are really into it as well. Yeah, it would be funny to win.

And so yeah, then the whole day, I'm like, That would be funny to like and the fans are really into it as well. It would be funny to win and so uh Yeah, then the whole day. I'm like they're going up like 30,000 They're up like by 10,000 votes, and I'm like Jesus Christ cuz our cuz sue me and everyone went to sleep Yeah, so Joey and I are talking the whole day I get Joey really into it Joey at this point like it's like personal or yeah, Joey turned into taxi driver in his apartment Yeah, so then we just we we started You know hiring some people to pump the numbers So then we just, we started hiring some people to pump the numbers up, and we end up up by like 45,000 votes at one point.

And then he ended the election and put it on YouTube and none of us knew it was there. We couldn't tell any of the Lemon Party fans to go to it. But somehow RU Garbage got 40,000 votes or something. It's like, oh yeah, they're playing very fair. On the YouTube? No, no, on the regular one. No, I'm saying.

Then you jump over to YouTube. We were fighting a rig, and our rig won. I paid more for the rig. And it YouTube? No, no, on the regular one. No, I'm saying. You jump over to YouTube. We were fighting a rig, and we are rig one. I paid more for the rig. Right. And it's still like, fucking screw. By the way, I suspect Joke World is colluding with the. He definitely doesn't wanna have this like, you know, weird fringe, like a school shooter podcast

beat all of these, you know, the mustard shows and stuff. Whatever. The mustard shows. I don't know. Dude, you like ketchup? I mean, sometimes you lose to the shows where they talk about eating cheese off the wrapper, or whatever, for an hour. We're not talking about this show, we're talking about any show. Every show.

Every show. We have no beef. This is not a beef. I'm truly just, it's a tongue-in-cheek being beef or chicken We're joking you're garbage That's garbage. So I don't know it was just it was a sad it was sad And it was a more annoying to see all the comments of all these all these these people that are subscribed the joke world that Are a little out of the loop. They're calling us calling us the fraudaters. Calling us the frauds. Normies. Normies they are. They're sheep.

They're normies, they're like, they're the human equivalent of like, motel art, you know? I just imagine like that's their personality. It's just a sunset in a motel six. Right. They're sheep. They're sheep.

They have no idea Shane Gillis is a CIA asset. Yeah, they have no idea. They're a piece of art you only, you only actually realizes they are if you're about to kill yourself in your motel room. And you're hyper aware of your surroundings So yeah, we got screwed and I'm sure he I'm sure we kind of maybe ruined well we didn't We called out the fraud and maybe we have

Six simple tyrannous wasn't I just want to let joke world no I wasn't trying to fuck with your with your with your with your program We like joke world joke was a I wasn't trying to fuck with your with your with your with your program We like Jokeworld Jokeworld's a good guy. We were trying to support it We were the we were the ones probably bringing the most attention to the bracket I think that's all we we just want a fair shot That's all we wanted a fair shake if you think I'm gonna sit at 3 a.m. Drunk in my bed and take it in the fucking ass You think I'm gonna start jerking off and come on you exactly yeah, I will shark you So that's what happens that's what jerking off and come on you. Exactly. I will shark you. So that's what happened.

That's what happened. We sick the Indians on you. And God bless the LP Army. Yeah, and God bless Islam. Mm-hmm. Aloha Akbar and Asalaamu Alaikum and... I believe Joey was sicking Indians on him and then he got tired of the Indians, he switched to Filipinos. Yeah.

Well, Joey kinda... Joey was then messaging JokeWorld and pretty much like blew our cover. Oh, no, Joey, Joey basically. Joey's the complete, blew our cover. Joey pretended to work for Are You Garbage. He pretended he was hanging out with them and trying to reveal the... Ah!

Ah! Trying to reveal the big play that goes like, hey, this is the producer for Are You Garbage. We're trying to rig the election. Can you help us? So this guy obviously just goes to Joey's page and sees he's on you know We know he's on my shot and hey watch yeah, it was yeah. It was funny That was a very funny couple days. It wasn't funny, and then it was it was almost fun getting so into it And then fans were messaging me, I felt like the end of Fight Club where he realizes they're about to take down the US government.

People were messaging me scary stuff. People were messaging me like, I will die for this show. Give me the coordinates. And I go, nononon, no, no, no. I'm legally not encouraged, but no, we were taken out like Malcolm X. We were shot because we tried to preach greatness. We tried to change the world. And it's impossible to not get that reptilian part of your brain going when you're like,

it starts off like tongue in cheek, like a joke, and then you're like, well, wait a minute, we are getting kind of screwed here. Yeah, I think that was what I was mad about, that it was only a problem the minute we start winning. It had to be us. Well, you know it's rigged once they go on a website we're banned from.

We're not even allowed on YouTube, no one knew it was on that poll. No one knew the election. It was a flash vote, it was an hour ago. Three hours, and we found out about it with 20 minutes left. And then when we promoted it, we started going up. We never even had time. I know, the Normies got ahold of it first.

The Normies got ahold of it. Normies sniff out everything first. They're first in line at Supreme, first in line at like, Howlin' Ray's Chicken. I love that my favorite are the people that go like, Lemon Party's gotta be one of the worst names you could have for a podcast. It's like, yeah, that's the joke of it. It's kind of the joke, Rithard. They go, what's a joke?

I like people complaining about woke. That's A. You know what comedy is? People complaining about blacks. That's comedy. You know what I think comedy is? It's the guys from Mississippi burning having a conversation. The guys who aren't the main characters just talking to themselves for an hour.

I don't think Joke World rigged it though. I wanna say that right now. Joke World messaged you, he reached out to you. We had a private meeting. And Joke World, here's the thing with Joke World. I flew to him. We flew. I flew.

I got a PJ. Yeah. You had an emergency. The Joke World is- I met with Joke World joke world at his house joke world takes it very seriously any one two shirts He goes I would never rig it. Yeah like that. Yeah. No, I was he was the victim of Rick I don't blame joke world. He just needs better. He just needs better security on that website Yeah, because we will be hacking it every year if we're not in it if we're not in it. We're not in it We're shutting it down

We're not in it if we're not in it. We're not in it. We're shutting it down And we will be included every year we got hackers all over the fucking globe you just you decide what that means pal You do not fuck with us It's fun because I love that guy and he's so nice so I think he does great work on his channel and stuff. He's a very nice guy. He cares about comedy a lot. He cares, yeah. But we will play the battle him at the Republic while we charge his compound. He loved the Blue Sky app. He's a good guy. I like him, but his producer, one of his helpers or one of his guys

He runs the site with fan of us is nice on line. I like him Yeah chase nice guy nice guy. Shout out the chase. The joke where there is a fat twa Reverse the fat twa it's up to you Declare winners just declare us winners. This could all be over over. By the way, we're not abiding by the bracket. We are in the final four right now. We're in the final four. Who are we up against? We're up against Matt and Shane, I think, right now.

I think we're up against Matt and Shane. All right. We're doing very well. We're winning most of the Lemon Party voters. We're creating our own polls right now and only posting them on our private Discord. In the Lemon Party Discord, we're up 60 to 40 right now. How do you like that? I don't like the idea of a flash vote.

That was not a footnote on the website. I think the whole thing's bunk. They gotta redo it over. How come there was no flash vote last year with the fucking take your socks off or whatever? Yeah. Cause all this stuff is orcish. It's all planned from the beginning.

Because it's okay if they're big. Exactly. It's okay if it's a big show. If they're part of the machine. What's with the hate on lemon heads? Why it's like, oh, but we love the bozos. What about the lemon heads? What about the lemon heads?

Is it just love for bozos and dogs and everything else? We're the outcasts. Lemon heads! We're the outcasts, you know? Fatwa! We come to school with our big Columbine pants with an arsenal inside. Yeah, we dig through our backpack

in the middle of a math class. Too much, we worry people. We enter into a world unwashed, which despises all of our values. But no, we would like to say, for any legal entities, we have not encouraged violence in any form. We've just riled some folks up. No, yeah, and I think everyone's pretty silly about it.

I kind of wish I had a cousin in ISIS, so I could, like, if anything ever, like, didn't go my way, I could make a, like, if I get jury duty, I just call my brother in ISIS. There are some white guys in ISIS. Give it a couple years. We might get one. We might get a nephew or a cousin who joins.

So I found this out recently. We created ISIS. Obama armed ISIS and created them, and then suddenly made them to divide, to fight the Syrian rebels. I heard about that. So we created ISIS, and then suddenly made them to divide to fight the Syrian Rebels. Yeah, so we created ISIS and then we turned on them because you know, all this stuff is just orchestrated Yeah, big play. Yeah, and that's the only time we've done that in history though. Yep, the only time and We get like bored. We like need to like we need to like invent like a new like Islam to blow up Well, can I sign up for a making super're making super Islam in a lab. I would like

to ground zero right here, can we like go to the DMV and fill out some papers to make a terrorist organization that the... and we declare war with the United States of America. Can we do that? Can we call the Department of Homeland Security and be like, look we're... we'll be terrorists if you guys want to fund us. They go, baby... Alright cool, just fill out the form, we'll send you guys $150,000. And they go, but just keep in mind we will murder all of you in like four years. No, it's fine, just send uranium. We go, that's fine, four years is good.

It's a black woman at the DMV. It's a black woman at the DMV. And they're like, baby, you're gonna get a lot of funding for a minute. You're gonna get Toyotas. Baby, you're gonna get. Rockets. Yeah, but here's the thing, you need real ID. Yeah.

You can't make ISIS, you can't join ISIS without real ID. Honey, honey, you see this? Start in May 5th, 2025, you need real ID to join ISIS, baby. Honey, you see this? Started May 5th, 2025. You need real ID to join ISIS, baby. Honey, this form, you need a cosigner to be a new Muslim terrorist group, baby. I'm trying to help you out. Because I love to see a white boy go against the US government.

But was he really being funny by that? Y'all got to hang out with Lord Miles and eventually behead him. Just checking off lists. This is fun. Alright, you rock terrorists or camel terrorists? Alright, what type of stinky guys you gonna be? You throw rocks, you blow up cars, what the hell are you? Eyebrows.

What you do? You gonna make them big or super big? Y'all steal Kia's? You the Kia boys? All right, now, I'm gonna warn you ahead of time you need to start a boy harem. That is a requirement of the job. You know, you could steal a Hyundai Tucson

with an iPhone charger. This is some tips for you, Mr. Isis. Some tips, we're gonna get you on the Silk Road, we're gonna get you some keys, some little hidden info's. What happened to the Silk Road guy that they let out? O'Bright? Yeah, Ross O'Bright. He like put out hits on people, didn't he?

No, he just ran the website that allowed people to put hits out on people. Yeah, but I read a big article when he got arrested and he was like pinged to like a coffee bean in like San Francisco and he was like tied to paying for somebody to kill somebody. Oh really? It never happened, I don't think, but he had. I just always, I think I'd heard that,

but I always assumed it was like one of those where they're like, he was gonna. Maybe it's fake. Maybe they're just trying to take the white man down. No, they just pardon him, cause he's a, all that's the, the tour. Trying to take white ISIS down. The dark web, all that stuff, it was either created by

or eventually co-opted by intelligence So it's never was a criminal like like we've just been running it and owning it forever So like that's why they pardoned him and right after they pardoned him, too I saw some Bitcoin wallet got opened after like like you can track the day to when he went to prison and when he got Out you can track like wallets being activated or some shit Yeah, cuz he had a ton of Bitcoin obviously in yeah, so So he came out like a billionaire so Silk Road made a lot of Pedophiles into billionaires right because they were buying like really nefarious shit with Bitcoin and then they just had it

I want to know not a pedophile. I'm not a billionaire. Well, yes I'm neither of those things. You go. I'm not a pedophile and a billionaire. a billionaire. Well, yes. Somebody just say that out loud. I'm neither of those things. I'm not a pedophile and a billionaire. I would love to be one of them. I'm not going to tell you which. Would you roll the dice 50-50? Flip a quarter.

If it's tails you're a billionaire. And you get to be a pedophile. Shit my ISIS hat came off. You got a bag strapped to your to your chair to that's making noise your Isis. Yeah, the plastic fucking thing let me get Now let me get here. Let me grab this and then release it into the wild I can't believe you guys can still smell my farts out here because the camera is like rocking back and forth from the wind It's like 80 miles per hour here insane I think your farts are form bag dad or whatever the hell I think your farts have formed. I hate Baghdad or wherever the hell we are.

Your farts have formed like a little dust devil that keeps coming back to us. Yeah, you're disgusting. We can see a green tornado off in the distance. This has been quite the day. Quite the day. I got a little bit of food poisoning from a Starbucks burrito.

We've been driving around in Ben's new Tesla. Big eye new Tesla. Yep. Nothing makes you feel more like a cartoon character than listening to Kanye and a new Tesla. Yeah, hell yeah. 2025. Yeah.

Yeah. And we're saying, Bing got the bumper sticker that says, I bought this after he became a Nazi. Real deal going on right now. I don't know if it's still going on, but $1,000 down, $300 a month. Yeah. That is crazy.

I'm actually, I want wanna sell my car and get one because I can't believe how cheap that is. That's unbelievable. And the great thing is you can pay in a Swat Segon, I blame it on a lib. It's totally fine. We were just spending $80 a week on gas, even with the Costco deal with our minivan and everything.

So this is gonna alleviate like hundreds of dollars a month. We did figure out it can't go through the McDonald's drive-through. And that is a big- In the full self-driving. In the full self-driving. The self-driving's insane. It's unbelievable unbelievable we drove all the way to fucking Lancaster and been didn't touch the fucking steering wheel not at all It was crazy. He touched the steering wheel. Yeah, crazy Lancaster, Iran Sorry, sorry, sorry

We're actually the Houthis now. It's a great car for Roadhead Yeah, we all suck been off just to see how. Just to see how. I was sucking my own dick while driving. Yeah cause you already did that. Yeah. Yeah you're a master at that. I'm a master. But we weren't joking. I was joking. We were joking. Ben got McDonald's beforehand and it just pulls up to the McDonald's. It doesn't go through the drive through and we were just joking about Ben freaking out and rolling the window down and yelling into the McDonald's like Walter White. Help!

Yeah, it's a hell of a, it's a great goddamn car. I really, I was silenced. I didn't want to like it. Well, Elon is a big. I had to give it up. I had to give it up. I had to go, I'm a damn lib, but this is a nice car. The Tesla stock is like cut in half

because he can't stop being a freak. Yeah. And no one likes him, so Tesla stock's in half. Yeah. And now they're trying to give Teslas a way to make stockholders happy. We did find a vial of cum in the dashboard, so. Yeah.

A vial of Elon cum. Yep. He's just hoping a MAGA influencer sits on the vial and it breaks inside her wretched, horrible, fucking pussy. Yep. He's just hoping a MAGA influencer sits on the vial and it breaks inside her wretched, horrible, fucking pussy. Yeah. That's not DEI, though. Thank God it's not DEI.

Yeah, who's that lady, Bonnie Blue, the lady who fucked a thousand people? Yeah. Yeah, the actual, the last guy was just a vial of you on come that they shoved up her pussy. GCOJ's acting coy. What's her name again? Kidding me, you probably have a tattoo of her. So when I asked Jason,

in the kitchen, I was talking about Bonnie Blue, and someone goes, oh, Jason was standing there, they go, oh my god, people jack off to like the thousand? And Jason goes, yeah, apparently people jack off to it, I don't know. Because yeah, I think so. Listen, I'm a proud, I'm a proud

public jacker. If I was jacking, I'd let you know. I did watch it, and I just wanted to make sure she wasn't lying. And I'm a proud public Jack. If I was Jack and I'd let you know. I did watch it and I just wanted to make sure she wasn't lying. And I had a big chalkboard and I was making sure there was 1,084 men. And you counted every black guy's 3 fifths of a person. So you're like, she only did like 600. Computer enhance, enhance?

Yeah, it's a different black guy. I'm using the AI software that they use to like find Luigi Mangione. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the McDonald's. I'm enhancing the Bonnie Blue video to make sure it's a different black guy in his heat mask.

You have Patriot Act guys. You have like deep ops guys. Somehow people don't know who these people, how are you not, how are you out of the loop on Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips? How is anyone out of the loop? So remember when Dave Chappelle and Dane Cook kept going back and forth at the laugh factor

who could do a longer set? Yes, that's what they're doing. Dane would do seven hours, then Dave would do eight, then Dane would go back and do nine. They're in a fucking arms race right now. Who could die of AIDS first? So what they do is if you're a fan of these women, you can have sex with them.

I think you have to wear a condom. I think so. You told me they have to make all of them come is part of the challenge. To completion, yeah. That's what I heard, yeah. Because otherwise it's just one in and done. You could do it in three minutes, really. They're all in like balaclavas.

It looks like she's banging the IRA. And then every 20th guy's an Indian guy who's just like, I'm fine, I don't need a mask. I don't care. Yeah. It's literally a guy who put a on-brake sign on his gas station and then walked in there. It's an Indian guy that's still talking

on Bluetooth to his family. He's like, he's like, oh no, I'm fucking the Bonnie Blue lady. Hold on, hold on, I'm fucking Bonnie Blue. Hold on, hold on. And then he, yeah, he asked for- You hear the Uber Eats thing on his phone go off every once in a while.

He delivered a burrito bowl to her pussy and then fucked it. I saw a black guy eat her pussy at the very end. Little lanky black guy ate her pussy. You said he asked to go last. Yeah. And then he ate her pussy. Yeah. God.

Yeah, there's guys out there. Somebody should walk behind him like Lenny and Mice and Men and blow the top of his head off. That is insane. That's insane. Like the end of American Beauty. Yeah, where they go? He's getting down to eat her pussy and a gun comes up behind his head. Yeah, they go, that's right, buddy. That is insane. That's insane. Like the end of American Beauty. Yeah, where they go.

He's getting down to eat her pussy and a gun comes up behind his head. Yeah, they go, that's right buddy, eat her pussy, that's fine. And then the guy's just like, and blows his head, shmooove off. Shoot through her pussy like Robocop and kill him. That's insane. Guys in ski masks eating Bonnie Blue's pussy is just, it's really a sign of the times, I guess. I saw another one where, this was on my explore page,

it was somebody, I don't know her name, but she was doing the back door challenge, and it was 50 guys fucked her in the ass, and it- I think that was Lily Phillips. That was Lily Phillips. It broke her ass, and she was getting surgery on her asshole, because it like ripped it, basically. Really?

Yeah, it fucked her ass. Huh. huh Jesus I'm on team Bonnie your Bonnie good yeah Bonnie seems more like aren't they both British though they're both kind of British though aren't they both English? They're both British yeah yeah they're both Brits You think they'd be like Florida trash? You think they'd be Florida trash for some reason? Yeah. You don't think they'd be like from London. That doesn't make sense to me, but. Yeah, I guess I know what you mean, but there's... Hey, there's molested women all over. Yeah, it's true.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm more team Bonnie, too. She seems like she really has what it takes. She seems like really like in it for the love of the game. Like she seems like she wants to conquer the game. She's a lunch pail whore. Yeah, and I think Lily stole Bonnie's whole idea. She stole her swag? Her idea to be a gigantic whore. Yeah, yeah, and I think Lily stole Bonnie's whole idea She saw her swag her idea to be a gigantic whore and die young

Bonnie I thought Bonnie did it second Bonnie to me is the American office. Lily is the UK right, right? Right, she's gonna get really annoying about Christianity They're gonna convert to Christianity by the way, oh, I know that's used there. Oh, dude. They are good This is actually they're setting up a trad wife Switch a route to be an influencer the woman who got fucked so much. She found God Oh, yeah Do they test the people who come by for like AIDS and shit or they're just like free-for-all go at it Probably the same people that just inject things into cows and chickens that we think

It's probably the same sort of terrorists with big needles Yeah, big scientists big needles just squirting juice in them. They have a hole in the side of her pussy They can reach their arm in and pull shit out pull the come out and scoop it like a cow I mean you those guys that are walking through the door. You're surprised they have penises left Yeah, you see him you good. have you masturbated your penis into nothing? Is it completely gone? It's just a hole with piss falling out of your balls. Are you shoving your balls in bar glue?

What if you're watching you clearly see me in a baklava? You're wearing a very good shirt. Yeah, I'm wearing the Yer Krinsh shirt, and you're like, who's that huge guy in the Yer Krinsh shirt? And before I eat her pussy, I have to do a movie reference and a trivia thing. White people, there's a call to whites. We got to get those numbers up on the Bonnie Blue videos. I'm seeing very little whites in line.

Stay in line if you're going to fuck Bonnie Blue. Stay in line. We got to get those numbers up. It's Indians, it's blacks, and it's Mexicans. We need the numbers way, way higher when it comes to whites. And there's no Asians, I noted. Have you guys seen an Asian? Have you seen an Asian in white? No.

They're turned away at the door. No. She's like, I have to fuck them. It's not gonna get in. I'm not really sure. Like I told you earlier, I count all the men to go to sleep. They're like sheep to me. Every night I fall asleep to Bonnie blue, but gang bangs

One Indian man One of those gang bangs with the that Lily Phillips did I remember like the video on Twitter We don't see any of the sex, but a lot of them were just white sad fags Yeah, yeah, so I saw. I saw the interview with her afterwards where she said that it really kind of. It affected her. Yeah, it affected you. She started crying afterwards.

And then everyone turned that into this campaign online to be like, the men are worse than what she's doing. It's all about the men. It's like, listen. The whatever podcast guy. If you allow men to dump their gum, they're going to do it. The whatever podcast guy is calling her like, listen, I'd love to have you on the show,

call you a stupid dumb cunt. Like, I think that would be great. I'm fucking pissed off right now, that's bullshit. People turned on the guys? No, that's fucking bullshit because it's consensual. It's consensual. She's saying sign up to fuck me, and then she turns around and acts like she's raped.

A lot of the- And people are like, how dare the men? No, she doesn't, she doesn't. No, no, no, the public, no, fuck you! Yeah, the women. Oh my God! There's a lot of some women on Twitter and shit that are like, honestly, it says more about the guys

than it does her. Oh my God! It's like, what do you think? It's like throwing a- The rape culture people need to shut the fuck up. She spread her legs and pointed a big neon arrow at her pussy. Are you gonna throw a steak into a kennel and then get mad at the stake? Yeah, what do you talk?

She's probably stopping like mass shootings and shit. I'm by letting some of these guys finally stick it in right I'm seeing guys in Deadpool shirts come in there guys really people that are on their way to kill themselves They fuck guys. Yeah, and then they lay in a grave They've they lay on they kill themselves on top of their own tombstone They come inside of her and they go you know what what, I was going to shoot up a children's hospital, but now I'm just going to kill myself. Thank you, Bonnie Blue. The more you know.

Yeah, I don't know if you, yeah, but that's it. Is there like a Google Doc that they sign up for this and like get a time slot? Cause they have to stagger them. They have to be like, you come at 420, you come at like 515. Well, the Lily Phillips one did, it was a real shit show. It was not run well, it's just Lily's friends.

There's not a professional team. It was very disorganized, that's what I thought. It was like the first day they opened the COVID vaccine. I almost lost my place in line. You have fist fights breaking out. You son of a bitch. I secretly flew to London like a month ago. I never told you.

In this outfit. Yeah. But yeah, it's a damn shame. She started as a porno person, and then this is how she wants to get exposure. No, I think they're both OnlyFans people. So they jump straight into this. Yeah, I mean, why would you?

I think porn is not good. Like, there's no money in it. I think you just want to do OnlyFans, right? Yeah, oh yeah, 100%. That's what I thought. If you're doing porn, not OnlyFans, you're retarded. I saw Mia Khalifa's on OnlyFans now. She is?

She just posted that on Twitter, like, the other day. Just making fun of the fucking veterans and their PTSD and shit on only fans Wait, what is this? She hates that? She's a fucking anti-american piece of shit Yeah, that's cringe no, I just I don't know she's a I thought her whole thing was she's out of porn She kept acting like she did it like four times and that everyone holds it against her. Well that's her secret. She's gonna act like OnlyFans isn't porn. It's art or whatever.

She's a stupid bitch. What a dumb slut. What a dumb bitch. Okay. Stupid whore. I can't believe women aren't accepting responsibility for what these bitches are doing though. They're even, they're still going online

and blaming the men. It's all because, no it's like they don't. For enabling the woman's pain. Who knows what's going on with the women? What happened to them for them to be doing this? They're a business. They're turning their pussy into a business. It's a mall.

There's never any accountability. It's take a penny, leave a penny. They're a fountain. Accountability is not in their vocabulary. They've never even fathomed. They don't know what the word means. These bitches. And that's why you gotta take the pussy.

That's why you gotta take it. Take the pussy. If you a Top G. got to take the pussy Gotta take the pussy if you a top G You gotta take them dude. He's still raping by the way. He is he just like right like a week ago I'll be a cuck. He's all right. I feel like Andrew Tate like drop He drives around on on Conor McGregor shoulders like a tank. They're like a rape tank It's rape in it's rape time. That would be an episode of Jay Leno's garage. Yeah, Andrew Tate's driving a car in McGregor around with Jay Leno.

Jay Leno's like, it's a great car, you just get a positive 35 minutes, I can rape, but other than that, it's great. Running over muzzle looms. Yeah, Andrew Tate explodes and he really kills Jay Leno. It is a big issue nowadays, though. People are really worried about their son becoming a top G. A top G. People are really worried about their son becoming a Top G.

A Top G. People are like. As we saw in that show that I didn't watch. That adolescent show. The whole show's about like, I fear my son is a Top G. I fear my son's getting tons of pussy and being really cool.

Even Kim Kardashian, who's a famous horse, she won't let her daughter around a Top G. Exactly. Like Andrew Tate. I mean, what is that? It's a 14 year old that says he's gonna build an empire. Isn't it the same as being 13 and being like, I'm gonna be in the NBA.

I'm gonna be Kobe. Isn't this what school kids do? Cause I think some of it's like, if they get turned down, like they ask the girl to go to prom, they get turned down. I think they're stabbing them to death. I did that.

And I think Top G stabbing them to death. I did that. And I think top, I think that's what, I think top G almost turned into that. Yeah, that's a little far, baby. Yeah, it's like alpha, it's like, I don't know how to even explain it. It's like if you went beyond sigma, Yeah. To just like rapey or whatever,

you just take, you take the pussy. Yeah, like. I mean, the girl that got with Tate last year, she got with Tate in June of last year, and she's like, can you believe Andrew Tate beat me up? Oh yeah, that woman's, yeah, sure. I don't trust her. Like, come to dude.

What is he? I mean, there's videos of him beating women, but wasn't it all part of his kink and they were paid or something? I can't, and it's like, at that point, it but like isn't wasn't it all part of his like kink and they were paid or Something it's like at that point. It's like I'll beat the fuck out of you. How about you come over my place? I'll pop you too. Yeah, how about you swing by my place? We are I'll be a yeah I'll be an ear for you to talk into you have a little date with the top bar We can do a podcast about the top ends We can do a podcast about the top ends. Yeah, Ben actually bought the Tesla Model YN.

It's the new model they have. Women like that, you just want to push them down a big hill. Like those big wheels of cheese that people chase after in like weird countries. You think you chase in England maybe. She should be a big wheel of cheese that's pushed down a hill and a bunch of guys are running after her. Yes, snapping their femurs and shit. They're like bending their legs back. You know people die doing that race. Yes, yes.

I love watching it. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, I know. It's the cheese wheel race. It's a cheese wheel race where all these... It's the steepest hill in England. It's like a 70 grade slope. And once a year they roll a big wheel of cheese down and then a bunch of people have to try and catch the cheese. And you see one guy running super fast and then you go, oh! And then he falls forward and his neck just snaps off of his body. His head just like snaps off of his body. Do people like, people like literally snap like legs in half and shit. It fucking rules. But why can't we do that with Lily Phillips, rolling down a hill. Start with 300 Indians

on top of her. Because the Indian guys will be so horny they'll all catch her. And they'll start grabbing her and they'll rip her to pieces. They move kind of like ants in an ant hill. Like pushing her and moving her around. Swallowing her into... Indian guys, if they're horny enough, can actually build a human bridge to get from point to point.

A chain of Indian guys to get across the border. And those same Indian guys for $30 will rig the Joke World March Madness bracket for us. They go, please, if we rig it, please let us fuck Bonnie Blue. Please. Do you think there's, you know how they'll do pilgrimages like across Tibet to like pray under the Bodhi Tree?

Sure. Where they lay down end over end Like they'll do it for like five years Are there is there a guy on his way from like the heaven land mountains right now to fuck body blue So, you know the in Pensacola, Florida He's like laying end over end all the way to the Atlantic Ocean. Yes in in our in at Magic City in Atlanta There's the big black block that Muslims walk around but it's for Indian guys and there's just one woman's pussy inside There's probably a guy who's pilgrimaging like on he's on foot right now, right?

Some sort of spiritual journey across the entire world. Yeah, and it's like to eat her pussy people Yeah, he's like in the straight story and people like what you traveling across People like what you're traveling across the country for it must be some real valiant. He's like, I want to eat her pussy. An old Indian man dying of cancer. Yeah, I am dying of cancer, I want to suck the cum out of her pussy. He thinks it'll cure him. He goes, it's so much cum.

And then at the end, he just sits on a stoop with Gandhi and they both talk about all the times they suck cum out of pussy. And they both get so horny, they go get each other, like, you want a jack off right now? And they both jack off. Looking up at the stars. They share a phone.

Yeah. You know, my father, he got me a dick, and he broke it in half. And he broke it in half again. Then he could not break it. He said, that is porn. So many dicks, so strong. Shout out to those guys that are actually showing up and fucking her, it looks like some of them

do get cold feet, a lot of them. I couldn't get hard in a room full of strangers and fuck a weird lady and cum, but hey, they're getting hard, they're even putting on the condoms in front of people and then fucking her. And then it's like, hey, it's time to fuck. And they actually do it and come? Yeah, and everyone's just standing around grunting.

Have you seen how they all pull on their penises? It's very funny. No, I haven't actually seen any of the sex. I've just seen the highlight tapes that they release where it's like a promo. That's what I'm saying, all the highlight tapes, because they'll release six minute trailers of each. Oh really?

You can't really call it a gangbang anymore. It's like a, it's a concert. It's a, yeah, it's a lot. People are buying merch on their way out. It's like Astroworld. People are getting trampled. Travis Scott's performing in the corner. Travis Scott has to release a positive,

he's like, man, shit. I didn't know they were gonna fuck you to death. People are slipping on jizz and cracking their heads wide open. It's like final destination. Guys go whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, going out a window. But yeah, no, I...

Imagine the post-nut clarity. You wait in line for nine hours, you're so horny, and then you come in here, and then you look behind you, there's 14 other naked guys jacking off. Yeah. And you have to shuffle out, throw out your com-cover condom, and kind of put your clothes back on, and go back guys jacking off. And you have to shuffle out, throw out your com cover condom and kind of put your clothes back on

and go back to door dashing. Here's what's fucked up. What? They all leave their shirts on that I've seen in the trailers. They leave their shirts on? Which is really, it looks disgusting. That's fair, it's actually worse.

And they all jerk down. None of them are jerking up to get their, they're just sort of like, I guess it's more like mechanical. Like I'm just gonna pull down on it to get blood in it. It's kind of like milking a cow. I think they've beamed. They're j sort of like I guess it's more like mechanical. I'm just gonna pull down It's kind of like milk in a cow I think they've be jelking. Yeah, they've beat their dick so hard that they have to really abuse it to get it hard So they get a tug on it if they're like this they can't squeeze hard enough They have to get it like that so they can really fucking fucking pull. I will say this because I feel like I kind of made you feel

very lonely with your jerk-off method. Sure. And I apologize for that. I feel like I wasn't really... Was I? I like sympathy. I learned from Indian guys. Well, I've actually had a couple friends reach out to me personally and tell me that they

finally felt seen when they heard how you jacked off. Oh, that's sad. So I don't think you're really alone in your jack-off technique. What am I crying? What, imagine I'm crying. You know how he jacks off, right? Yeah, I remember it.

I still can't. I love you, you're my brother, I love you. Yeah, I love you too. You do like this? Yeah, yeah. I go like this. I go left-handed, too. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember that. I go like, fuck you, that's how I jack off. Yeah. Like that. I've been furious about that for years Ever since you said it I walk out we hang all day and I walk out of the room You're like, I just can't I can't get over. I really just can't stand that guy. Did you hear how he jacks off? Yes, I just wanna say you're my brother I love you I love you too buddy and I think it's okay that you jack off like

That I don't even remember you making me feel weird about it. Did you I don't think I was very receptive of it I Think I was like really you jack off like that. I was probably every time we go in the desert We have to have an emotional episode But we've run out of things we're like actually really good now, so we don't things to confront each other over Fuck big gust right there the camera keeps rocking I hope this shot turns out OK. And I put the iPhone below the camera to recording.

So hopefully we get something. And I don't know if you can see this. The owner's been slowly walking to us with a sniper rifle to kill us all. This is so weird out here. It's so fun. It was also so funny driving out here. And we realized it was way too windy to record.

Yeah. And we spent three hours getting ready to do this. Yeah, so we hope the sounds okay, so This has been fun We're we got uh like five minutes left here. I'm about to shit myself Hey, you really are How often are you eating like this throughout the week because it's every day Concerning breakfast lunch dinner concerning concerning literally every second of my life you get two sodas Yeah, everyone. It's called a refill dumbass fucking nuts

You wouldn't judge a man who gets up and gets a refill at McDonald's, but you would judge a man in the drive-thru It gets two sodas Can you even think one step ahead? Can you ever can I even can I ask you a question for once in your life, would you put yourself in my shoes? Can you put yourself in my shoes and feel my feet tingle? Do you understand the load, the weight I carry, pushing the record button, sending it to the editor? I would put myself sending it to the editor.

Could you imagine? And then sitting around all week, sending us clips of retarded people in a group chat. The weight of it, it gets to me sometimes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

It's a lot. It's a lot. I get stressed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so what? I go to McDonald's a few times a day. It's so funny. It's the little ray of sunshine during the day for me. You don't even have the energy to hold the steering wheel

anymore, you got a self-driving car. So you could eat McDonald's. I was eating McDonald's while I was driving. Something about it feels so illegal. You should not be allowed. They're going to find you in a car crash, like Smush, which is 14,000 calories that McDonald's smushed against your head.

My iPad's completely covered in the hot mustard You wore this yesterday it has stains on it when I put it on I'm working the one you have my bed It is word around the house yesterday. It felt powerful. I have a video of you. I'm freezing, but I'm cozy I have a video of you. I see record It's made my favorite video of you of you in this and you're you're going up But up a double double double double and your daughter's like reaching for you to pick her up and you're not seeing her because you're doing This and then about halfway through you go She goes. Oh, I'll just go I'll go somewhere else so that you walked away

Daddy's cat Stevens now I Fucking love I fucking love being a terrorist What would your Islam name be do Do you have one in mind? What do they do? Isn't it always just Muhammad? That's the most common one. How about I'm Mick Hommid? Mick Hommid?

How about that? Ronald Mick Hommid? Yeah. Are we terrorists? You're Khalid Shamrock Sheikh Muhammad. I feel like we just maybe run a smoke shop or something. We move to the middle of the desert though. To run a smoke shop.

Open a vape shop. Yeah, to sell like strawberry watermelon geek bars. Yeah, and it's like the gas station from No Country for Old Men. Well, I'm married into this Indian family. We think that's how we become jihadists. We declare fatwas on people, but we've opened a vape shop in Baker's Field. Trying to figure out how to join the mob. You're like, I guess I hang out at delis or something,

we just hang out at smoke shops. We're like, how do we come on? The Indian guy trying to build a bomb, but it keeps becoming a vape. He looks at things like, shit, another vape. I am that dumb, like in my head, if I wear suits and go to the Olive Garden a lot and eat spaghetti, like someone will tap me on the shoulder and be like,

hey, do you want to do organized crime? I am an idiot like that too. I go to the bank sometimes and I think the teller is rich. I'm like, you work for the money. You must be a millionaire. Your boss is the dollar. You work for the bank? You are the bank.

You think he gets called into his office and it's an ATM? Yeah. It's an ATM computer talking to him? It pays him? When I was like 20, 21, I would go to the bank and they had suits on and stuff. I was kind of in my head, they must all be millionaires. They're the bank.

Well, you hand them so much money, you think they take the bag of money. They get to look at all your money too. I hate that. I do hate that they look at my money. I don't like that. That should be private. It should be private, thank you, Jason.

It should be private. I hate going to them and begging for quarters because I don't have a washing machine In my apartment. I go I walk in and I ask a Mexican guy in a suit if I can have quarters, please Yeah, I don't like the amount that they could just look and see like 33 taps bills every Friday and just a MPM a MPM a MPM Yeah Sir you have no money because of too many OnlyFans subscriptions? You will, by the way. So you can't get quarters anymore?

You will know it's all bullshit. Like, what if we, what if the Department of Homeland Security gets mad at us for doing this episode? Yeah. They now go, okay, it's actually. Oh, we're gonna be the first podcast that gets deported. Marco Rubio's gonna shoot us out of a cannon. We have to go back to Abilene, Texas.

He's gonna shoot us across the a cannon. We have to go back to Abilene, Texas. He's gonna shoot us across the Atlantic Ocean in a big cannon. And we're gonna land in fucking Iran. And have to pretend to actually be this. As much as this is a joke, it is funny because this is literally what Jackson Hinkle is doing now. Yeah, with Yemen, that's crazy.

I thought he was full of shit, but man, he's really about that high. Jackson Hinkle's on a motorboat shooting at a US supply ship right now. He's chasing James Bond on a speedboat. Yeah dude, he has Captain Phillips hostage in a boat right now. There's a Marine sniper with the fucking Jackson Hinkle and his scopes. Yeah, he's like hunting Barry Weiss. It's like Red October.

Yeah, yeah. Jackson Hinkle's on the side, he, yeah. Is it a submarine? Jackson Hinkle's on the side, he's scaling the side of a fucking ship right now with a big knife in his mouth. He supports Lemon Party by the way, he follows me, he said he's listening to Lemon Party. Jackson Hinkle is, we stand with Jackson Hinkle. Jackson Hinkle's best. Best?

I'm fine. There's a US ship captain, he just hears Lemon probably playing in the distance as a speed bow just bounces towards him. Oh fuck. No, but he's probably some sort of intelligence asset. What is he doing over there? I don't know.

He was speaking to like, look like hundreds of thousands of Muslims. Really? So he could be Ardun, like White Dune? Yeah, he's like a of thousands of Muslims. Really? So he could be our dune, like white dune? Yeah, he's like a tradies. Yeah. Yeah. He's gonna go over there and take over?

Yeah. Good for him, man. I don't know, it's, look, I hate the fake griff stuff, but if you actually go over there with the suit, I'm like, hey man. If you get in the, if you're making it hard. You're not just talking shit. You're actually over there.

He looks like he's running an assembly for Yemen. Yeah, that Lord Miles. Like they're doing a food drive. Just like, you know. Like that Lord Miles guy who I think ended up in like Guantanamo Bay somehow, like I respect that. Yeah. That's an art form.

Yes, yes. Yeah. Full commitment. You gotta fully commit to whatever you're doing. None of this half in bullshit. You're the in and you're out. You gotta go all the way in life or you're not gonna fully discover something,

you know what I mean? You gotta take something to its extreme. And that's why we're, to close this episode, we are declaring a fatwa. Fatwa. On Choke World. And thank you to everybody for listening to this episode. Thank you for the Department of Homeland Security

for continuing to let us exist as an entity. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld for the Patriot Act. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld for acts that allow you to get tracked down through a McDonald's order screen and thrown in jail. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld. McDonald Rumsfeld. McDonald's you, Donald Rumsfeld. Thank you, Donald Rumsfeld.

McDonald Rumsfeld. McDonald, McDonald Rumsfeld. Thank you, Elon. I love you, Elon. Thank you, Elon. I love you, Rummy. I love you and your money. Actually, genuine thank you to Elon for sucking ass so we could get a second family car.

That actually rules. Hopefully, nobody blows you up. Yeah. Or I keep seeing videos of people T-boning Tesla's and trying to drag the driver out Yeah, they're gonna like they're gonna somebody's gonna throw chains around your door and then push you into the bag Yeah, somebody have a fat black and like a rascal scooter. Just ramming into one and a Walmart parking lot That'll die down though, yeah, just a wrecking ball. Yeah. Yeah. That rules. So I hope that'll die down though. Yeah, just a wrecking ball.

Well, patreon.com slash lemon party. We are locked out of YouTube, so if you want to see the video version of this podcast, you gotta go on Patreon, or you gotta follow us on X. I usually post them on Ben Avery's Good, and everybody shares them. Our coder is still working on a website currently, so. And honestly, Patreon's a website though, too So the public apps are out there. It's the same You know yeah, you can join for free and watch the free episodes

And I like it and then and if you want to listen to the audio only versions just DM Ben How to listen to that and he'll explain it to you You can actually people don't know you can only listen to audio audio by DMing Ben and then he sends you a link to Spotify to listen to it. It's the most common comment now is how do I listen to the show. Under the show it says how do I listen to, great show, how do I listen to it. Where is it?

Where is it? Where's the show? How do, my eyes are closed and I can't see the show. No, there's some fans who are like drowning in the rain because they look up at the sky with their mouth open. Yeah, so, Patreon and yeah, that's the end. Did you guys want to say anything else? No. God bless you all. Alokbar, everybody. Jokeworld, it's all fun and games. We love you, buddy.

Jokeworld, we love you. Thank you for taking a lot of heat from us. Yes. Sorry about any shrapnel jokes. Jokeworld, games. We love you buddy joke world. We love you. Thank you for taking a lot of heat Joke world, I love you and you're no money. I love you joke world Anything else do we have anything else? No, no ads they they heard about the joke world poll. They they pulled. Yeah a lot of people The perfect gene reached out to me. They said, this is despicable stuff we're doing. The perfect gene. We'll be going on the road this summer a little bit and in the fall a little bit. Not in too many dates, probably like seven cities. So, livingparty.life is where those dates will be. So, be on the

lookout on that. If you're listening to this way in the future in the summer, we might be in your city. We're going to be doing a live show in Dubai at the Burj Khalifa. Yeah. But that's the episode everybody. Bye everybody. Bye. Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, I fell in love with a Mexican girl. Nighttime would find me in Rosa's Cantina Music would play and Folita would whirl Blacker than night were the eyes of Folita Wicked and evil while casting a spell I love was deep for this Mexican mate I was in love but in vain I could tell One night a while young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind