lemonparty - 136: Swasticar

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

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I'm on that hype, being always in my face. Talking, listening. Girl, I had the best of meals, but again, that you back clean was okay, it's like you don't need... Dad, I think somebody vandalized your car. What? Where? No, there's a swastika on the side of the car. I don't think anybody keyed me. Yeah, it's all the Hitler stuff. Look, I know you guys don't like Elon, but can you not call him a Hitler?

No, I'm talking about the Hitler stuff that's on the actual car itself. Is this a new wrap? No, everything is exactly how I purchased it. So it came wrapped like this? Wrapped like what? You customized it. Customized it to what? No, I kind of like it. So it came wrapped like this. Wrapped like what? You customized it. Customized it to what? No I kind of like it it's like NASCAR a little bit you know. Yeah I got this a few hours ago.

Testing check. Sounds good. Let's head to Cantors. I was thinking Cantors as well. Maybe it was all the Hitler stuff. I got YouTube back here I could put on his 1935 speech. The remix. The dubstep remix. Do you think I'm legally allowed to drive with these headphones? No, I don't think so No, I don't think so. It's wildly dangerous It's like you can't hear somebody Devin you want to wear the cans I? Guess yeah Devin can be the cans guy make sure everything sounds alright

Thank you. There we go There we go. Alright. Is it reaching? Yeah. Alright, you can reach. And then Jace, you can just check from time to time if it's recording on that side. Right, sure, of course. I don't know how to exit out of YouTube back here. I might have to actually watch some speeches. Can you? Well, that's just what's playing in Ben's headphones while we record it was already on yeah Yeah, this is lovely don't they do Hitler speeches now or they translate it with AI so it's in English Isn't that a thing? I think so yeah Wow technology is wonderful. Yeah

That's great. It's dubbed. It's like a spaghetti Western People go to chap GPT and they go they go at grorock the wrong they say the wrong one they go at Grock How can I find Hitler's speech? I love the grocks where it's just like it's just like a picture of Meghan McCain and someone's like Grock Who is this and it's like appears to be Hillary Clinton in 2011 at a vanity. It's completely Yeah at Grock not close at all at Grock. Can can I fuck her? And Grok goes, yes. Get a gun and fuck her. Grok is kind of retarded.

Grok is extremely retarded. It's never close. He's never right. No, not at all. And he's always kind of hesitant to say. Yeah, I've literally seen. Do you think he's a he? I think Grok is a he, because he's always wrong, am I right?

Wow. No, I've seen tweets where it's like that famous photo of the Viet Cong guy getting his head blown off in the street. And somebody goes, at Grok, what's happening here? And Grok will go, this is a still from Lilo and Stitch. Grok goes, this is Ken Jeong from The Hangover, 2007. Where he showed his little baby penis. All right, did we go to the Nazi supercharger in Skid Row?

You can go to the, there isn't, no no I think that's like inside of a parking lot. You get free charging in the Skid Row supercharger if you bring a homeless scalp. Yeah. You walk in with a few scalps. If we show up with 20 bodies, we get free charging. Yeah, like John Wayne's running the supercharger station. Now, Devin, you've done the research on this. Should we do the Tesla supercharger in, by the In-N-Out in Glendale?

The only ones I know about are the Tesla supercharger in the only one Yeah, it's the only one I know about in Glendale this one right at the by the in-and-out the 134 in the two the in-and-out Yeah, or the one in Blake Burbank. Yeah, that's where we're going. We might we've I think we might be heading into an Armenian Civil War It's where the the whores go to charge their asses they go buck wild out there Is it a Armenian Genocide? You show up. No, no, it's a memorial day. Oh, right. Right. Right.

It's for the it's for the people that, you know, that they where they live now. Dude, I'm reading about General Wrangle and like the Russian revolution and stuff. I'm like, I want to live in that world so bad because I don't know who's good and who's bad in the right, like the Bolsheviks or the White Army, but like, I wanna show up to the Supercharger right now by the In-N-Out and there's just like, there's just a bunch of like-minded individuals

sitting in the parking lot, drinking light pink lemonade and animal fries, and we just get out of the car and we're like, what's up? We're all dressed, we're dressed in all black. We're all aligned with one sort of. We see guys who are dressed like the mice in an American tale, the Jewish mice. That's one I hear Bolshevik, I'm not kidding.

I literally imagine the dad from an American tale. And I go, that's probably what they are. I don't really know. Well, I'm reading about General Wrangel, and supposedly he was against all the pogroms and all that. What was the pogroms against? Pogroms was just like violent attacks against Jews, specifically. Oh yeah, of course.

It was like mini-holocausts. A little warm up. That was like the weekend stuff. They were getting some stretches in before they... Devin, allow me, Jason, it was a Holocaust pop-up. Yeah. They're coming to town. It was a...

It was weekend only. It was a ghost kitchen holocaust. We're doing flash sheets. $35 will shoot you in the head. The Holocaust goop Kitchen. You just see a bunch of dead Jewish people in racks that your just influences are cycling through. The funny thing is they say there's

no such thing as history. There's only biography. So if you read a biography of a guy on a side that lost, you sympathize with that guy. And then if you read other accounts of that guy, he's like a villain guy So I don't so like I can't make sense of anything at all and it doesn't seem to me anything is like real It's pretty hard to make sense of the Holocaust. Yeah, I'm always like I'm always like who's right You go on one hand they did kill six million on the other hand I'm very racist against them so who knows?

I forgot the Tesla's have the all glass roof so you can see It's kind of sick Yeah so you can see Dresden coming You can see SpaceX debris crashing into you There was like a sonic boom apparently when we were recording the other day. Did you know that? There was? What? There was like a big shaking and people were confused in LA. It was SpaceX debris entering the atmosphere. Oh, no. And it landed in Oceanside.

Oh. Yeah. Interesting. Whole damn sky is falling down, you know? I'm just imagining like, like Lizzo took a shit. Right. I was about to say something shitty like that. I was about to make a shitty like that I was about

to make a hack joke like that too she's not even fat yeah no she's been injecting ozempic like heroin she's been shooting it into her thighs with like a leather strap homeless yeah she's homeless she's like I suck your dick suck your dick for some gfp1 baby it's so affordable to be a Nazi nowadays how could you not do it? Yeah Supposedly legacy media has always been right-wing anyway so everything that we see is like completely controlled so I Don't even know man. Yeah, otherwise why would there be so much money in it? You know what I mean? Right? I don't know any side, but

You know you just bought a Tesla a few weeks ago. I just you know Clearly not on any side Hello San Fernando La River a beautiful beautiful River There's a couple sick fucks that like they they eat fish out of it I've seen YouTube documentaries about them they eat carp Yeah, Anthony Keats used to do that back in the day. He would fuck fish in the LA River.

It's like Lord of the Flies in the LA River. There's just, yeah, there's kids eating, like drinking soup out of skulls and stuff. Yeah. Really weird. There's literally like the guys from Greece doing like street races on the side. There's a guy dancing like Napoleon Dynamite that's homeless.

It's a beautiful city. I'm gonna miss this damn city. Mexican dudes love going fishing in the LA River and they pull out like carp with like two heads and shit. Yeah. Catfish with like human penises. They pull out like chimeras, like half babies, half perch. Yeah, Mexican guys go fishing in the LA River and they're like, oh it's a it's a spirit woman from Asian mythology She comes out of the water to kill the children

Didn't I tell you guys I talked to like a like a Cheech and Chong guy was walking by with his fishing pole And I rolled down my window. I'm like, hey you catch anything in the river He's like yeah, man, I catch it but it comes out all fucked up It comes out all fucked up. It comes out all fucked up? Yeah I can guarantee that guy is casting a line into a cooler full of nickel oaks and just pulling it out and drinking them. Our coronas excuse me. I did have I took that uber back Sunday night after we recorded I forgot to tell you guys I got a Asian driver who... So you canceled.

I canceled. I go, I use both seat belts in the back seat. No, it was very funny. I selected the, I never got on this option before. I selected the no talk. It's the only time I've ever gotten it. Started talking to me immediately. Whoa.

He was like a 25 year old. Rebellious. Yeah, 25 year old Asian guy. And it was fun. He was like, he's like, oh, I live in Alhambra. And then he started to get like very he was like he's like yeah dating is so hard in LA He goes like oh I don't date this woman, you know, she no text me back, you know It's like why you not text me back you fucking other guy you whore. He got like really unsella He shows you his tickets to Virginia Tech. He goes I go this weekend It was like I was like kind of laughing. I'm like, no, it's hard. He goes, I go this weekend. I bring my gun. I was kind of laughing.

I'm like, no, it's hard. He goes, I go, you never text me back. I go on a date with you. You on your phone. Who the fuck you texting? Who you texting, you stupid bitch? And he was freaking the fuck out. But he's a nice guy.

Yeah, nice guy. Nice Chinese incel. Nice little. Love a Chinese incel. Harriet Rogers. Harriet Rogers. Harriet Rogers. Yeah Rogers. Harriet Rogers. Yeah, Virginia Tech.

I can't wait to see what this fucking Tesla supercharger in Glendale looks like. We're gonna pull up as just like Mercedes versus Teslas. Yeah, it's gonna be just like a cloud of vapes. This is what sucks though is like everything is so much more boring than the culture where it makes it out to be. It's just gonna be like Mark Zuckerberg, like we avatar type of people.

That is what's interesting about the Tesla hate, is that people are looking at Teslas and they go like fucking Nazi piece of shit. And like a 23 year old Asian tech kid gets out named like Ronaldo. He is a Nazi though. He doesn't even know where to begin with what politics are. He just loves software updates.

And he thinks it's a great piece of technology. But meanwhile, there's white families that are like, you fucking pig, Nazi fuck. People who look like Joel Cohen are like, you Nazi piece of shit. He just likes fucking watching Twitch while he charges. He thinks it's a really cool feature. Here just a pig all right here's a second well you can put yours up Jace obviously fucking fuck fucking fuck you big highway patrol Glendale PD troll these nuts bag Glendale PD's got to be like being Doc

Holliday yeah you in the tombstone like, like every day you catch like five or meeting guys that are like fucking the gas tank of their Mercedes. Yeah, you're like marching in a river just shooting it guys. Just Mercedes pedophiles. I don't even really need to charge. No, but we should check it out for a sec.

Yeah, we should check it out. Let's see what's going on. Fuji, that's like a disgusting all you can eat sushi buffet, man. Oh, no, I used to go there all it out. Yeah, we should check it out. Let's see what's going on Fuji That's like a disgusting all-you-can-eat sushi buffet, man You know I used to go there all the time Yeah Cuz I used to live in Eagle Rock right here And I would pull in here and I'd have a field day at the sushi bar. You could have a field day There's literally like worms like popping out of the fish. I

Mean, it's yeah, it's any sushi. That's within a hundred feet of four highways somehow This is also the worst possible time and day to do this. Memorial Day at 5 p.m. We are going to the In-N-Out Tesla Supercharger in Glendale. I can't even pull in. Now you're probably not gonna be able to get in. You're not gonna be able to get in. To be honest with you.

What the hell? Turn on the machine gun. Fire away. Wait, why won't they let me in? This Mercedes. Ben, you're gonna have to go Panzer mode. But weren't they on our side or the Hitler side in World War two the army Tesla hates ridiculous with Fords and Mercedes and BMWs. Excuse me, sir. Hello. Very good, sir We're making content

Okay Mexican family we almost killed while podcasting. That would have been great luck. I was holding on the break of the Tesla because it was trying to fucking hit him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you have hate crime mode. I don't think there's going to even be.

You can set it up like that Stephen King movie where all the machines kill people. Dude, sentry mode on the Tesla is where it records if a minority is getting close to your car. Do you know about that? Really? Yeah, that's what sentry mode is. Sentry records if like a minority is getting close to your car. Do you know about that? Yeah, yeah, that's what sentry mode. Yeah, sentry mode is like a black person getting close to your car It starts recording it records anybody that has a limp that starts walking up to your car Devin where are these super? I don't know. I've never been supposedly would have used I've never been here

So I can't get a Tesla now cuz I this would be where I charge Oh, there they are. Oh, you're cutting in line. Sorry lady. Sorry hi Hitler. She's white. Hello white lady. Baby on board. Hitler youth on board. White's on board. White baby on board. Beautiful white baby on board. Look at all these beautiful white people charging their cars. Yeah, this is the worst. This has got to be a bad time to come here. This is probably the worst place we could possibly be. No, we're just stuck.

Ben just got us into traffic. He found traffic, and we're sitting in it now. We're giving people the authentic LA experience. Is it rolling, Jason? Let me see. Jason pulls out his phone. It's green. It looks like the Matrix screen. Well, I installed an app called Dumb Phone that's supposed to Spools had his phone. It's green. It looks like the Matrix.

Well, I installed an app called Dumbphone that's supposed to get me off my phone. Yeah, it's square. Looks like it's recording to me. It's still square. Can they see me? Can they see all of us? I don't know.

I can't. I'll check again. They can see me. They can see. I think they can see me, too. I think they can see you. If they can see me, they can see you, because you think they can see me too. I think they can see you. If they can see me, they can see you, because you're closer to the camera side.

I don't really like this culture. I did not know that it's like this. It's really crowded here. And people seem really, really surly. Yeah, well they're just all getting back from the Ronald Reagan Library for Memorial Day. Beautiful. Look at that. What a lineup. What a lineup. That's gotta be the bad part is like this you're just sitting next to other Tesla drivers, and you're all watching like fucking British Bake Off on your cars, right?

Yeah, I think so. Do you think I should try to figure out how to use the charger while we podcast? I'm at 53% so I'm more than fine. Yeah, I mean it's opening up. There's two stations open. Wow. Glorious. Okay, yeah, I can back in and charge it up. Devan, should we see kind of how it works? Yeah, let's see how it goes.

Let's see how it goes. Put on some Bang Bros. It's just hooked up to my credit card. Devan, what is this like to fill up? I don't know. I think in the middle of the day it's probably pretty bad. It'll be probably expensive. Fuck.

Yeah, Memorial Day as well. Okay, let me charge for like five minutes just so we can kind of see what we're working with here. I also hate the backup on a Tesla. It's really weird looking actually. How you have to like slide a little iPhone clicker to back up. Well, I don't pay for FSD anymore,

which is a hundred a month. And it was pretty sick because it would just park for me and I didn't park for a bunch straight, you know Yes entries like boy protect your house type thing it's like up skirt mode you can if you get oh it just went out then the audio We're making people go to the gas station with us basically we're like running here This has been been scamming us then is like literally becoming new daddies like I got a great idea We're gonna go shopping at, I got a great idea. I got a great idea. We record while I go to Costco. We're going to go shopping at Costco.

It'll be a great app, guys. I got a great idea. We're going to take my daughter to the gym. Won't that be great? Is it charging? I think it's charging. It's green, like an iPhone. That's cool.

What a device. All right, yeah, let's put on You know put on the ranch or something. What do people do in Tesla's? I guess should we can we put on a YouTube? Well, we are doing a podcast Well, I got to pull up stuff on the podcast, right? Oh, right We could watch things that other people can't see I guess though. That could be awesome I think I said we harass this one. I said we make this woman feel like she's a Nazi and we're Nazis. I know I kind of have a deep shame sitting in the window closest to her holding a microphone.

White pieces of shit. I feel like the equivalent of like somebody taking a picture on the star of fame. Yeah. It's just kind of embarrassing. God Netflix is hard. Wow that is really good quality YouTube though. That's crazy. It's a great screen. That is unbelievable.

I'll click on that one. I'll watch that one. No, I'm not watching that. I gotta get me one of these. It's went up 2% already. That's quick as hell. It's great. What should we watch on YouTube at the... We're charging the Tesla right now in Hitler's castle. Can you, just so that woman can see us when she walks back,

can you put breastfeeding videos on the screen on YouTube? No, it's an Armenian baby, that's an Armenian baby she's an Armenian woman. Oh right. They like love genocide, right? Yeah, there's the new why somebody showing up in their new wine. They just bought they just bought it That's a Mexican with a 88 flat brim. I've been watching a lot of body cam footage lately, because I always do anyway, but like two separate videos, there was cops at the end and they start having side talk and they're like, dude, I just bought the Model Y.

And the guy goes, it's fast as shit. Dude, Devin, that was a bald black lady with a little white dog in the Model Y. Did you see that? I think it's one of the most diverse vehicle there is actually look at the amount of different people here I actually don't think what is what what does she get so she's it has a fake Hitler mustache Yeah, she's she goose steps into in and out she's a North African Nazi African Nazi Man going those windows really beautiful. I don't even know what to watch. I don't know what's appropriate I mean right now I'd be watching golf highlights, but

you know I Do get it now people don't mind the time it takes to charge because you can like Fucking jack off if you got a family this is where you go. Yeah. Is at the charging station. Like you go in the buffet. Exactly. Yeah, you pull up you get in and out you watch like yeah like a documentary. Yeah, like the downfall of Tom Segura. You take like the the lettuce because you refuse to eat that you you fuck it. Yeah. You jack off with your in-and-out lettuce and then you go home. It's beautiful.

Wow. It is a nice machine. I might have to get one at some point just because it's kind of silly. And it's sturdy. I like how sturdy it is. Yeah, I remember the first one you got was very, Piece of shit.

Yeah, it was a piece of shit. Where you push it and it makes all those cracking noises. It made a million noises. Yeah, this one is much. This one is nice, this one's nice. Should we watch Matt Walsh videos? Oh, let's watch Jordan Peterson versus atheists. Yeah, that'll be good.

Dude, I can't believe how fucking bad he looks. That, the clips I've seen of Jordan Peterson versus those atheists. He can't even defeat people who identify as atheists. Unbelievable, dude. Very sad. It was like watching De Niro, like in in the Irishman trying to beat up that guy. I know it was like when you go visit your grandma and she has a cast on her hand.

That's what it felt like. Yeah. It was like the first time grandma falls. You go, well she'll be dead in a year. You're like, grandma will be fine. It wasn't that hard of a fall. And then next time you see her she's half black. She's like a black and white cookie.

You're like, oh grandma's going to die. Yeah. Next time you see her she's half black she's she's like a black and white cookie like oh grandma's going to die yeah next time you see her full body cast yeah she's like in traction cuz she's slip dude I think shit's gonna swing the other way hard where people become like like Leninist and they're like they're not into God and stuff like that I think that'll be the next like countercultural thing is just like like I love like Russia I love like like I should it, I think like Bolsheviks, like being a Bolshevik, like having or like wearing like a beret or something, not like if this is the stuff that's going on now of Jordan Peterson,

getting pants while talking about Jesus and crying, it's going to swing the other way. It has to. Well, that's, that's the very annoying thing about culture is you'll, you'll really start to hate something. Like, you know, now it's like Jelly Roll talking about how God gave him steak to eat when he was hungry. And you know it's gonna swing back.

He was hungry for five minutes and he prayed to God. Yeah, Joe would go, dear God, please let a... I fell on my hands and knees and I prayed to God. Dear God, if you could let a bird die and fall near my feet so I could eat it. Dear God, if you could let a bird die and fall near my feet so I could eat it, dear God. God, imagine driving this car with the entire front missing. God, what a kill yourself thing to have to do.

Dude, that's a little ISIS mobile. Did you see that guy? Yeah. It's an Al Qaeda member drinking boba. God bless, Glendale. Dude, he's literally driving a Mad Max car. The entire front of it is missing. Yeah, that guy.

That's crazy. That guy's got a beeping vest on. Imagine pulling up to your job at a WIDS and the whole front of your car doesn't exist anymore. That guy goes to the mall to buy beeping vests and diapers. He drives around in his ish. Oh, Devin, I'm sorry. This woman's like maybe 5% black. I'm looking away.

Her dog almost peed on my car. She's a. Devin, do you see her? Do you see her? Can you get an ID on the race? Oh, that's Yeah, she's black. She has a she has a problem. She's there's some colorism I can tell from her hips that she's black because she looks like she's about 50 and can't walk She's also got the classic shitty white dog with shit in its eyes that like every woman above 60 has I think a van

Pulls up and just just hands 60 year old women a piece of shit white dog with crap in its eyes. Yeah, he goes, the minute this dies, so do you. This dog is now tied to your existence somehow. But what I was saying to Ben early is I think everything unfortunately swings. It's unfortunate knowing culture that everything's gonna swing back the other way.

And the new jelly roll is going to be a fat guy Talking about trans lives again. We don't ever get a moment in the middle anymore. It's all extremes Yeah, it's it's it's all extremes every time. Yeah How much that wow we got like 9% well, that's really quick, okay No, they're great vehicles Oh jokes aside look at this Nancy Mase wannabe. Oh Dude, that's like a stewardess. I'm just gag on your shit, and she's got a leaky bag. What is that bag leaking? Oh Fuck Wow, what a gross environment. This is she's got a nice clean granny ass. Yeah nice flat ass. You

know Glendale's a Sun downtown? Like literally like it still is like Burbank too. They just don't enforce it. Yeah well it's just you'll get run over if you hear when the Sun's down. Armenian people are like the opposite of bats. This is kind of why I never knew about this little community. Everyone just sits next to each other. I think some people never leave. They just live the rest of their life here. And I think they love comparing the new features and talking about the Tesla.

It's a real cult. Yeah, they're all they all just either got back from the Lilo and Stitch movie or they're about to go to the Lilo and Stitch movie. I can't wait to watch Lilo and Stitch. Dude, I'm so excited. I've heard people hate it by the way. I don't want to spoil the ending for you but apparently the ending... Do you guys want in and out by the way before we leave? Not really, no. I'm going down the wrong way. That line is incredibly long. I'm going the wrong way. Wow, you are ballsy Ben. Well I gotta get past this uh... Ah, fuck me in my ass.

Yeah, that's what I thought bitch. Yeah, keep it moving fag. You're gonna hit this person? Watch out poor Honda. We're Nazis! Hey look, it's Neil Young. This is great. You know what makes me really sad about reading history though is I can't make sense of anything.

Because I wasn't there and then the people that are writing about it could be lying. So it makes me feel like I'm reading about today. I might as well be reading about today a hundred years ago. Yeah. In terms of the plights of all these people and what's going on. You've reached the point of reading which is the ultimate goal where you realize you're actually so smart you know less. You have to actually get dumb again.

Right. And then you'll be more certain about life. What if Hitler faked all that stuff just to look cool on Twitter? What's the og grifter yeah, yeah Here was like I got the idea from the hodge twins. What if Hitler wasn't even cool We are these people's ever we are everyone's worst fucking nightmare. We're in a brand new Tesla podcasting These people looked over at me like they wanted to shoot me in the head I know I wish I wish like we were doing a podcast about us right now it's so disgusting yeah we saw you could do I love sucking ass dude yeah I there's nothing I love more than sucking

ass yeah that is your main game it kicks ass sucking ass kicks ass. Dude, not a day goes by I don't think about like Mandalay Bay. 10 years now, can't figure it out. I'm like, maybe if I dig through history, I'll figure something out. I read it from the perspective of this side, makes sense. Read it from the perspective of that side, makes sense.

I zoom back, everybody seems like a gay retard who's fighting with each other. Much like today, I'm like, I can't make sense of anything. I'm not gonna get to the bottom of it, I'm just not. I'm just not, I'm not gonna get to the bottom of it. I'm not gonna get to the bottom of Mandalay Bay. I'm not gonna get to the bottom of the Russian Revolution, much less.

This is like your lifetime achievement awards speech here on the stage. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Mandalay Bay. They go, sir, this award was for Jimmy Vilvano. The late Jimmy V. In all honesty I kind of get to the the point where I'm like is I'm like is anything real? Like is Russia even real? Is that a real place? I've never been. I don't know. It's true. Was George Washington really a guy? Right. Or did someone was there like an American Shakespeare who wrote these people into existence basically, even though they're fictional?

I don't even know. I've never held George Washington's skull in my hands. I would love to. Like you can't do that. Is the declaration the actual declaration? Is there really like an Ark of the Covenant? The Declaration of Independence is impossible to see. The last time I was there in DC and I looked at it

because Asian tourists have kept taking pictures of it and then they get shuffled out by a big black security guard. It is like a giant liquor store, but like reverse. It's got black guys trying to order swishers from the Declaration. It's black guys going like, shame to your mother, to a Chinese tourist who is destroying our Declaration of Independence

with his brand new camera. His brand new camera from 1987. Yeah. Yeah. If the founding fathers were real, they probably did kick ass. They probably ruled. Sitting around in white wigs, like I'm assuming they're like smoking opium. Yeah.

Sitting around, they invented, they invented the American flag. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. A whole barn full of hoes. They had a whole barn full of hoes. Barn of hoes, they all had like syphilis. Like that's why they would like go blind and lay on the ground. Yeah, they were just like fucking, like their like disgusting white wife wouldn't like suck them off.

They'd be like, I'm going to the barn. And they like film a music video. Yeah, they're like, we're all gonna go fuck. We're gonna run a train on Mary Todd Lincoln. They're about to grab a fold They wore pantyhose They started a revolution that got a bunch of people killed they aided British people a lot Well, that's the I mean it kind of kicked ass Yeah That's the beauty of when you turn like 19 you start reading Howard's in and you realize like

Benjamin Franklin's's greatest political skill was that he was great at eating ass in Paris. He'd just go to these orgies and fuck the shit out of people, and somehow save the United States. That was the biggest mind fuck for me. Obviously, everybody gets the American spoon-fed history classes type stuff

of Christopher Columbus and the Native Americans and all that stuff. spoon-fed history classes type stuff of like, you know, Christopher Columbus and the Native Americans and all that stuff. The biggest mind fuck for me was when I found out that like Martin Luther King had like affairs with like hundreds of women. Right. I'm like, so everybody, like that's when I was like,

so everybody is like. That was when you realized he deserved what he got. They go, I wish they would have shot him twice. It's always very funny that that's surprising. I'm like, he was so good at speaking. Do you not think he was getting pussy from that? Right. Literally everybody who's been good at speaking

gets hella pussy. Did they kill him because he was fucking white women? No. Or did he hate white women? I'm sure he was fucking the shit out of white women. I'm sure he loved white women in bed. Loved white women. Jace, can you look up if he fucked Marilyn Monroe

or something? Yeah, let me go to MrSkin.com and look up Martin Luther King. Marilyn Monroe ended up with a Jewish guy. Did you know that? Arthur Miller. Yeah, she was with this, like, yeah. She was with a Jew up in Connecticut, a playwright. He left his wife for her.

And you would not expect him to have gotten her. But she liked, she was like a young girl that likes to be with like a 35-year-old because it makes her feel like smart. Right, exactly. So that was Marilyn Monroe. She would just show up to hotels with suitcases filled with pills.

Yeah. Like she would open them like it was a bunch of jelly beans spilling on the floor. I mean, according to the movie that I saw, it seems like every waking moment of Marilyn Monroe's life that she wasn't like on screen, she was just like cartoonishly being raped and just covered in like cartoon X's and there was like she had like a headache bag on and flies going around her head

and yep they had a Dharmas movie yeah that movie was insane it's three hours of raid yeah it was hot as hell I I loved it. Loved it Yeah, apparently somebody wrote a book this lady miss Gero Said that him her and MLK were madly madly in love and she was a white woman But the fact that you wait I just is that real yeah, yeah, but here's my here's my point of content No, no, no, no a white woman named mrs. Gero wrote a book that said she fucked MLK Oh fuck I spaced out for two seconds back in the day. Yeah, you completely you didn't listen to a word I said this is my first Lucy in like seven years. I literally said yes, and then you were you were like crazy Ben's getting all his memories back

Don't go down art sock. Yeah, it's a dead end art sock. It's a dead end No, it's literally like a fly trap for white people. You won't get out alive. Well, we're in the heart of Glendale right now, I'm afraid we're gonna get T-boned nine times. Yeah, this is the most dangerous place to drive in America. It's gonna be like a video game when you get hit a certain way in GTA

and you fly into heaven. Yeah. Like you fly over the Empire State Building. They're actually making a new season of Ice Road Truckers about driving to BJ's in Glendale and trying to survive It is it is just Mario Kart out here Just our meeting guys throwing hummus out the window like trying to get you to slip throwing actual turtles at you Yeah, we could uh we could go to the forest lawn cemetery later and see if the

See if your Tesla thing like sees ghosts. Yeah, we could do that sometimes it'll like it'll pop up There will be like somebody walking when you drive by like a grave It does that all the time look out look cuz on the screen here that guy's really that pot-bellied Armo. Yeah, he's skinny He's skinny here. He looks great. Yeah, he looks like a Greek of God here on the screen then you look up and it's like It's like the guy from tusk that was everybody say that's like a fat guy from the 1940s Yeah, where they go. This is the fattest man who ever lived back at 1940s always required to wear the little hat Yeah, pork pies. He wears a pork pie hat cuz as we're pining and pork yes

Tell him the riff we just had you know what if I was that guy, I'd be looking at something like, I bet they're talking about how fat I am right now. Ha ha ha. Oh, fuck. Dude, I fucking hate fat people. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Yeah. I can barely fit in my car. I'm trying to get it. I get kind of tense when I'm in Glendale though, because I don't know what's going to happen. It is crazy, the driving is crazy. It's a guy that in a $80,000 Mercedes that looks like, he looks like a Borat's friend. Yeah, he looks like the slave trader from the new Star Wars.

Yeah, exactly. He looks like Guato from Star Wars. Oh, look, there's Stitch right there. There's Stitch, Stitch plushie on the side of a newborn baby's thing. Look at that. That is beautiful, man. That is beautiful. Life is so beautiful.

Stitch makes me realize that life is worth living. Yeah, you know, even though that Armenian baby's gonna grow up to be a rapist most likely. Cause aren't we all Stitch, really? We all feel like we're an alien living on a planet that's not our own, you know what I mean? And that we have to find and create our own family because most people aren't born in a place of stability and stuff.

So in a way we're all a little blue fucked up alien that just wants Ohana. I feel like that alien. I'm more simply Lilo and Stitch. It's good. It's a classic. I feel like that alien who realizes he's trans while he's on Earth.

That's me. Jamba or Pleakley? Pleakley. Yeah, Pleakley. Who they edited out in the new Lilo and Stitch because it's too gay. There's another scene they edited out, right, where Stitch goes into a washing machine,

so they try to get kids not to do that, so Stitch goes into a washing machine, so they try to get kids not to do that, so Stitch goes into something else. Into a pizza box over a hamper or something like that, and they're trying to say the quiet part out loud because of pizza and kids, and Disney is wink-winking to us, Devan, that when, remember when Obama ordered the hot dogs or whatever, the pizzas, and says it was talking about pizzas. Yeah, it's a gate emails

Yeah, which I buy that too. I mean nothing's real. I might as well believe that is Lilo and stitch is the new one like a metaphor for like immigration or something. Did they do some annoying angles? I was people don't yeah, they sent stitch to Salvador. Yeah, is that the thing? He has a mr. T. He that the thing? Yes, it must be Yes stitch runs that Salvadorian prison he's raping the shit out of that hairdresser everybody No, they're mad cuz they changed the ending I won't spoil it for Ben, but it goes against the whole movie they change. Oh, so it's a reenact It's the exact same movie as the first one, but they changed a lot of stuff that people liked about the first movie Like literally like the cross-dressing stuff. They took it out

I think cuz it was like too faggy for like 20 25 If it came out in 2020 they would have made him like he would have been like sucking cock midway through the movie, right? Right, right. You would have been black Laverne Cox would have like played him. Yeah, but now now it's like none of that gay shit Yeah, they'll get that gay shit out of here. Oh yeah, Ben drive up into the hills. This is a lovely area. The hills of Brindale is great.

I know it well, I know it well. There's little tiny little towns up there that people aren't aware of. Tiny little town, nothing I love more than a tiny little town. There is like little Americana towns in the midst of like Armenian madness. Yeah, a little like safehold.

Yeah, cause I mean you could see all these like just disgusting, ugly, like McMansions on the hill, just you know, so like an Armenian guy could feel like he's still king, even though he like works with like Toyota now, but like, a lot of Armenian guys in Glendale, you look at like a park bench and they're just sitting there and you could just tell the guy used to be a king. Now he just feeds the pigeons.

Don't Armenian people kind of live in things that are like, they look like old Russian Catholic churches? They live in their car in a driveway of a one bedroom apartment. That 12 people live inside. They sleep in their car that they pay $2,700 month for them. They're LA gypsies. Yeah. Yeah, they have a little caravans they drive around Man I haven't been on this road in a long time, but we're heading up into the hills north of Glendale some great spots over here Shamshiri Good good hibachi place. Yes. There's the famous hibachi place over here where a lot of celebrities go. I forget the name of it.

But it's like always lesser celebrities, so it's kind of funny. Yeah. It's like Billy Baldwin is on the wall. You're like, hell yeah. Yeah, beautiful Armenian churches. Did anything happen this week? Yeah, I mean, I'm having a bunch of stuff that keeps happening because my in-laws are in town, but like out of respect of them, I'm not.

You're afraid to talk about them. Until they get back, then you can talk about them. Well, no, it's not that I'm afraid to talk about them. It's just like, you know, they didn't sign up to be talked about on the Limit Party podcast and they're like, you know, they're't sign up to be talked about on the limit party Podcast and they're like, you know, they're lovely people but yeah, I get it. They've been with us for like for like 10 days So, you know, I've I get it. What are their names and what have they been doing? Yeah first less first less What are the names? First and last I do do I might have done it on lemon party before but I do do a

Bit of Ben's father-in-law trying to relate to Ben. So funny. Where it's just like, hey Ben, we were thinking we could all go to the 9-Eleven store later and we could kill faggots, because that's funny. We were thinking we could all go to Beverly Hills and yell that the Holocaust didn't happen at Jews. Because of Pepe? Because of Pepe because of pepe right the green guy

And I've been on 4chan recently And I want to show you some rage memes that I found The nice southern-in-law who's trying to relate to his incredibly racist millennial who's really who's really trying to make peace with it incredibly racist, millennial son. Who's really trying to make peace with it? Man, I got you a gamer headset and some Brazil nuts. You can just go to town. I think, because I love my children so much, like if one of them became trans or whatever,

I would just try really, really hard. Whatever they get into, if it's an extremist thing, I would just, you know, I'd get into it too much so it becomes like lame so Then they eject out of it. Yeah, you'd have to become trans yourself You'd have to pull a John Q, but you're in the hospital with a gun to your head You're saying cut my dick off To save your child I wouldn't mind if my kid wanted to become trans I would just want to I would let them know that we're not there's no like half measures like we're going the full mile

You're gonna be sexy. You're gonna look You're gonna look like a bimbo. You're gonna be the hottest trans person of all time. So just so you know, there's a lot of surgery in your future, there's a lot of hormones. Yeah, your son comes home and you confront him and you're like, what is this? Seek ups? Those are the implants we're going for?

Yep. Fuck you. You're getting Gs. You're getting like a. You're getting Gs. You're getting like a- You're getting Gs. Yeah, getting like, you're like pumping canola oil into his lips and shit. You think ruining his life expectancy

by making him get breasts that are way 30 pounds each. His skeleton's looking like the elephant man's by the time you're done with him. He's not even human. He can't sleep on his side without dying. If he sleeps on his back, his tits will crush his brain. She is sleeping. Sorry.

Her tits, her disgusting fake tits will crush her brain. These tits aren't disgusting anymore. No, they are getting really good. They're better. I've even seen non-trans. I've been fooled by fake tits online. It sucks because like, you know, you go like, oh nature's so beautiful, like the human body's so beautiful, and then you see what a doctor with a Beverly Hills knife can do, and you go, holy fuck, this is the, yeah, this is the upgrade. This just looks so much nicer.

Mm-hmm. That really is like our Frankenstein, like we've replaced God. We've killed God and given him a BBL It's that it's that Alec Baldwin speech from malice. Mm-hmm. I am God Yeah, you fuck a big woman's ass and you think that's nature That'd be good like really like a Beverly Hills ninja, but it's called Beverly Hills knife and it's like a wacky It's like a he just he just gives like celebrities kids trans surgeries He's just like chopping off like Megan Fox's son's cock, and it's wacky, he's doing kung fu in it. Yeah, it's like a Pawn Stars style reality show.

Jack Black is in it. Oh man, yeah, just slipping on cocks all over the place, like the banana peels. It is funny, people keep looking at us because we have microphones and we're in a Tesla They look they're looking just like we're we're making the announcement If you're a white go home and lock your door you have been marked for safety Lock your door you have been marked for safety

If you are Armenian, please kill yourself immediately to save us the trouble If you're Jewish do not so we can enjoy it Jase by the way, we need to read an ad for a company, right? Oh, yeah, because we're at 40 Minutes or so here and add we reading an ad? All right. Devan, does it sound okay, by the way, in the can? Oh, I stopped listening to it because you fucking. Oh, shit. Well, it's still rolling.

All right, guys. We got a beautiful ad for Factor. And look at these beautiful trees. Those are beautiful trees. Yeah, we still sound good. I love trees. I love grass. Yeah.

You're retarded. You're retarded. But even trees. I love grass. Yeah Tarded but even retarded people love factor why spend time I junko alright Do not say that slur while I'm doing an ad Might have been a Phoebe actually you scream dark-eyed junko and the point of the guy who looks like coolio Why spend time cooking when you'd rather be outside? Factor, make sure you get awesome meals without spending all of your time in the kitchen. Factor meals arrive fresh and ready to eat. Just pop them in the microwave or on a skillet

for two minutes and you're all set. With more than 45 weekly menu options, there's a meal for whatever mood you're in. I was just thinking about us just getting, we die in a car crash as I'm reading the ad. Factor ad? It's a factor ad, that's the last thing I ever say. We still get paid out though, right?

Yeah, we will get. Yeah, you're sick. Yeah, your kids will get the $300 after we die. Divided by three. Divided by three. Yeah, they are not getting my share. I freak out. They are not.

I'm in like, I'm in those provides. I have like tubes in my neck and I'm screaming. Dude, who is getting all your money if you die? I'm donating it to some liberal cause to make the audience mad Piss off the patreon you have you'll be at my will reading. I'm like that might does not go to Ben's kids That might does not go to Devon every year you have to donate it to a Charity that takes mentally ill children and cuts their dicks off Mad charity that takes mentally ill children and cuts their dicks off. To make the fans mad. With more than 45 weekly menu options, there's, I can't wait for the guy at Factor to be listening

to this ad by the way. With more than 45 weekly menu options, there's a meal for whatever mood you're in. They even have breakfast, lunches, snacks and desserts. Factor was kind enough to send us several meals. I enjoyed their bacon wrapped shrimp was very good And you know, I'm moving I'm in the process of moving They've saved me many times when I don't have time to cook I'm tired from packing up boxes of shit Yeah, man, so if you get this bottle of piss, oh my god There's a huge jug of pee in the review

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I do wanna announce real quick, before we get back into the show as well, that I'm editing all these episodes now, and as we grow and evolve, I'll be doing all the post work on this stuff, and I don't want it to release at 5 in the morning anymore. So all this stuff is coming out Monday night now for free episodes and then Patreons will come out Thursday night around 9pm PST. It's like midnight for East

Coast people. So go to the nighttime show or just keep enjoying it as a morning show. And I'm also putting video on the Patreon. So anybody that has problem finding the video or whatever, you can watch video on Spotify now, is what I meant to say. Spotify. On Spotify, I meant to say Spotify. It's on Patreon as well,

and it's being uploaded to my ex account. So you can enjoy in many, many, many different ways. You can not find it in many places and fuck patrons video players So I'm uploading the videos for now on YouTube unlisted For the main episodes that are being put on patreon so you can still have an unlisted YouTube link and not to fuck around With I think people have been kind of complaining about that forever about how patrons video player doesn't work Yeah, the whole point we weren't on YouTube because you even though it's unlisted you could still get a strike on your channel Yeah, all of our strikes will be removed by September Wow, it's been a year

I took the racism class to prove I wasn't racist. Yeah You got a zero It's like it's like a guy who's trying to get his like drivers permit Yes, and keep going back to DMV for like three years. And it just says, it's like question number one, blacks are blank. And you're like, A, bugs, B, shit, C, people. And you're like, oh.

Dude, the test was legitimately like really hard. I failed almost every question. But they keep letting you retake it. What the hell is this weird cult thing? Oh, it's like a big park I used to go here and during and like my school used to take us here big big park They take us there and we'd get all molested and shit should we record the patreon in that park? Sure, I mean it's probably kind of busy. It is Memorial Day. Yeah, which I don't know

What is that even about is it's like Iwo Jima day or something? I think it's just itwo Jima day or something? I think it's just the day where they hope Americans can remember anything. You don't want to be the guy who's severely undereducated, but everyone's pretty severely undereducated in terms of not knowing when anything happened no dates no concept of history no nothing yeah but like I don't again I don't know why it's

important to know all this stuff no half of Americans think D-Day is just a day where a lot of big tits were born they have no idea what's going on they yeah D-Cup day hell yeah look at these god-awful fucking mansions because they hear these and the beaches of Normandy and they're like, it must have been a nudist colony where everybody had D cups. I love that episode of Baywatch D-Day at Normandy. Where Payne Anderson sucked off 8,000 soldiers in one day. Yeah, you had Bonnie Blue style.

This is actually kind of interesting to, I think I might have mentioned this once before but I used to go to Drake Sathers house when I was a kid up here was friends with his son Who's that he was a comic that was really beloved by like norm? And he killed himself on the phone with his wife Damn, it was really tragic. What how boring was her story? Pretty good. There's a clip clip it Women Grypho clip that fuck his kids

Grypho put his face on the screen in a picture of a gun do some animations No, it's just weird I think his house was like right over there really hates to play used to play basketball in the backyard and he used to just sit there and be really depressed and then he ended up doing it. So Norm loved him as a stand-up? Yeah you people could type I think there's like a story Norm tells about him. He's a very dark funny guy I think he wrote Zoolander? Really? He came up with the idea of Zoolander? Like the first script or something? Yeah he was just a really talented guy,

but that's really weird. I remember my mom telling me he died, and I was like, holy, and then I got older. I was like, oh, he was a comic. I didn't even realize that. Hey, what's going on in, speaking of Zoolander, what's going on with Ben Stiller? Why is he tweeting all the time?

He's a pretty annoying Knicks fan, but I also think it's cool he's using X. Interesting. He is on the Nazi side. It is interesting. He's not a blue sky guy. We do like that But he's also like the type of guy that you know like renounces I think the like Trump and like he like hates the administration I imagine but he's still on X so that's cool, but yeah, he's um I don't know let Ben Stiller be I think he had like his whole like asshole removed or something He did have like ass cancer. Yeah.

Like right when his parents did. I love Ben Stiller. Who had ass cancer? Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller, yeah. Really? Yeah, him and his wife also broke up for like five years and then got back together.

Oh, shit, that lovely Christina lady? Yeah, the blonde lady who. From dodgeball. And Zoolander. They were on a train on her in Zoolander. They broke up and got back together, huh? Yeah, literally like five years apart and then got back together recently.

Oh, that's inspiring. Yeah. I was listening to him on Conan and he talked about that. That's nice. And I said, Cuck, your wife fucked other people? You're a cuck. Can't embrace true love finding each other again, falling in love all over again.

This is the funniest thing about LA. You'll see the most gaudy Armenian McMansions and then a place that looks like. Lovely. Yeah, like Family Ties was shot here out of nowhere. Yeah. And then just old people walking the street that refused to die, clogging up beautiful homes,

selling them to Black Rock instead of their grandchildren one day. Every one of these homes has an old man in like, like Uncle Charlie from like Willy Wonka, who's never got out of his bed, but he, but he's holding a gun because he's still afraid the Turks are coming. He just sits in the back and gets fed taboo-ly.

Yeah, he's just, he's got a home alone, but it's just guns everywhere tied to strings. Dude, so okay, you know what pisses me off too? This is bullshit. Let's get into it now. This is why- What race now? World-

I just learned about Tzatziki Stan. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe hehehe he hehehe hehehe he he he hehehe he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he What really pisses you off now, man? In like 1904 or 1905, do you know Japan and Russia were at war before World War I over like they're fighting over places they wanted? And then once World War I happened, they teamed up ten years later. It's like nine, ten years later and then they're on the same side. So like how can you, that doesn't make, that's fucking bullshit to me. Like you, I think what is fake about war to me is no one seems to actually hold grudges. Like people who you were against,

steadfastly against nine years ago, all of a sudden you're in the trenches with them. It's like, were you guys just firing at each other? It is all fake. Eight years ago. So it makes me think it's fake and I'm reading something that like George R. R. Martin wrote and none of it's real. Yeah. It is. It's like people in showbiz, you know? They all hate each other but they work with each other So it makes me think it's fake and I'm reading something that like George R. R. Martin wrote and none of it's real.

It is. It's like people in showbiz, you know? They all hate each other but they work with each other for the common goal of money. Yeah and they go, that guy's great and then they like walk away and meanwhile they have like little voodoo dolls they put like pins in of the guy. I always think about that when you hear the story in World War II of the soldiers on Christmas. Do you know that one? No.

It's told as an inspiring story where they're like, yeah on Christmas day all the soldiers on Christmas, do you know that one? No. It's told as an inspiring story where they're like, yeah, on Christmas day, all the soldiers decided to stop fighting and they met in no man's land and they played a game of soccer and exchanged presents and it was beautiful. And then the next day they just went back to just shooting each other in the fucking head. Yeah.

So. But we were like, it's beautiful, that's humanity. And that's psychopathy. That's insane. You literally just like gave this guy like a little tin of fish and he gave you a pack of smokes and then you're like, all right, well, I'm psychopathy. That's insane. You literally just gave this guy a little tin of fish and he gave you a pack of smokes and then you're like, all right, well I'm gonna put your brains on the ground

the next day. That's psychopathy, it's insane. Wow, that's crazy. England, all their traditions around war are the most pathetic stories of all time. Shake hands. Okay, now blow his head off. That and Operation Dynamo where they're like their big Alamo

moment was running away successfully. The thing that's bullshit about war is you have to pick a side. So it's like, you got to pick white army or red army. And then the white army, it's like supposedly they were doing like they're like Nazis and stuff. But then you read about like the the Leninist and stuff in the Red Army, and they all were also killing civilians So I'm like but then people on the left say oh the Red Army was good

And I don't care that they did that and then you read revisionist history from people far on the right or correct history or whatever and says they are Like they actually were you know like maligned and stuff and they weren't against this stuff. They were against communism Yeah, you can't. But the only way you could defeat communism was with fascism. And then also what confused me too is Nazis called themselves Bolsheviks.

You know the term Natspaul? N-A-Z-B-O-L. Nazi Bolshevik? Well because they like what Lenin did, but they don't like the principles of his beliefs. Like Bannon beliefs like Bannon Steve Bannon all those guys like like how he was a leader and stuff, but they don't agree With like the the communist shit, so it's weird like they have affinity for people

They completely disagree with so that's what confuses me about the whole thing It doesn't make any sense to me like if you have admiration for somebody. Why are you completely against? everything that they It doesn't make any sense to me. Like if you have admiration for somebody, why are you completely against everything that they did in the name, everything they did in the name of, you know what I mean? So that's why I've read it about it, I'm like fuck all you people.

I don't even wanna pick a side. I'm gonna go so hard back into gaming. This whole episode just feels like bait to get like seven paragraph comments on Patreon of those people that listen. You don't even think they're listening for humor. They're listening to correct it. Yeah, guys are actually taking history classes

on the Bolsheviks right now to write comments. Dude, I don't even give a shit anymore, because we get these huge comments about how we're too liberal on the show. I'm like, I don't even know what that means. If you think we're welcome in liberal circles, here, you're so retarded. You're beyond retarded.

Yeah, classic liberal. It's very smart. We're hanging out with Judd Apatowow at Largo we're the big lib show right we're Pod Save America yeah we're very liberal we're hanging out with Gavin Newsom you know liberals always saying faggot being homophobic making race jokes yep but but if you want us to bring you up for four episodes in a row be sure to do that I'm pretty sure the only way we'll mention you on the show Well, that's what's bullshit about making fun of everybody is then if if a listener happens to be myopic

They get really really upset because they just focus on the one thing we made fun of and act like our whole existence is against That thing. Mm-hmm. It's like that's not that's not true. We make fun of everybody You made the classic liberal move of getting a Tesla in the last month. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The classic lib move of getting banned from YouTube. I've been banned from Twitter nine times. Because you're a lib. I'm a lib. I...

You're constantly getting thrown off of social media platforms. I'm getting thrown off of social media platforms for drawing people getting fucked and raped. I'ma live. I do take a lot of pride in what I got the last time I got Twitter deleted just for drawing Elon Musk getting his head blown off and then pissed on. No subtlety whatsoever. Just being like, I love satire, Just drawing a guy getting like raped to death. Uh, Jace, can we talk about our childhood for a second? Yeah, sure. I was, I was kind of thinking today, I'm like,

I was like, my whole life, did Jace hate me? Like, did you hate, did you hate me as a kid? I was- Did you, would you think about me and be like, I fucking hate this guy. I was you would you think about me and you'd be like I fucking hate his No, I just you fucking hate mine already taking way too long to get in front of it so yeah you did yeah I did Yeah, I mean a little bit I think I was more just like like was I like your number one enemy in life We were like when you thought about like the antagonistic force against you in the world you thought of like my shitty Smiling like troll face. No, I just wish you would stop like fucking with me all the time I was more just trying to get through every goddamn day without like blowing my brains out honestly

But you just like you'd like like fuck with everybody and I was just like it made me uncomfortable I was like the world's first honkler. You're the world's first Your black-billed honkler exactly., exactly. I had an anxiety disorder, and you had bipolar and schizophrenia. So it wasn't like a great. I was like, when Nona Ryder and Girl Interrupted, and you were Angelina Jolie, getting girls to kill themselves because they were bullying me.

I feel so bad about it. I was such a shitty little brother. I really was. I fucking sucked. We were in a war zone, you know? But we still, like, some of the hardest times I've ever laughed is just me and you, like, in church, like, cutting up about some stupid shit that we're not allowed to make fun of. No, I view it more like that. I mean, we were competing for, like, any love and attention possible,

so it's, like, not an environment to have. I really don't think about it that much anymore, to be honest with you. I Just thought you were like just like annoying a lot of the time. So I you're just like You'd run around the house with like a horn that you like bought at a garage sale And you just like blast a horn for like 40 minutes. I forgot I did that mom got so mad Yeah, no, I got mad. Remember I grabbed the horn from you and I ripped the battery out and threw it in the trash No, I got mad. Remember, I grabbed the horn from you and I ripped the battery out and threw it in the trash? Because you just went in.

Remember when you pinned me to the ground and mom was screaming, you're going to kill him, you're going to kill him, and you're pressing my head into the concrete? Yeah, because you slapped me, leaving up that part of the story. You slapped me. But to be fair, I weighed like 80 pounds.

You guys are like, yeah, that's why I didn't punch you. You might as well have gotten a a fight with a little bird. With a ground bird. That was the reason I was pushing you into the ground is I took one swing at you because you slapped me. I missed. And then I got you on the ground and then I'm like, well if I punch him while his head's on the ground, it'll explode.

So I didn't know what to do so I just started pushing your head into the ground because I was so angry at you. The main thing is though is that we ended up like winning. Like we're like best friends now, we love each other. We have a successful show together. Yeah. Like we were forged in fire. Yeah.

And now we're flaming. You guys are like a cat dog. Exactly. What if the show kept going? We're two freaks who have been merged together through pain. Exactly. We've been welded together. Ben is obviously the retarded dog.

And Chase is the intelligent cat. Yeah, but no, I obviously always love you. When you were going all taxi driver mode your freshman year of college, I was like, oh, we need to get Ben in a social program. Yeah. What did you think of me freshman year of college from afar with no

Walking around looking and I was just worried for you because I had gone through the same thing But luckily I like it. There's a group of guys I got drunk with enough times that they started like making me go out and do stuff You know, I was like a freak too when I got to college freshman year I would wear my letterman jacket and red sweatpants that were like covered in cum everywhere and people thought I was a fucking freak. I didn't know how to fucking exist. I'd eat stale cereal out of the box. People thought I was some creature or something. Yeah, and think about how fucking stupid we were then.

Now there's videos of guys that are that dumb at that phase in their life and they're owning Jordan Peterson on YouTube. They're sitting down with a guy who's been studying one subject for 45 45 years, supposedly forged in fire, and he's just getting pants, his little wiener showing, he's pissing everywhere. Like if you told me at the age of 20,

I could own a college professor like that, like a supposedly free thinker. I mean, I haven't seen anybody defending Peterson with any of this stuff. Have you seen one person, Devin, on any side defending Peterson? He's totally finished. Even the people that are usually on his side are like,

this is a really bad look. He made no sense. He showed up, he's like an atheist that showed up to an atheist debate, to debate atheists. Yeah, it turns out he's not a Christian, actually. He's like, I never said I was Christian. He was like doing that the whole time. He just keeps having this weird, like, anger.

He's very angry. He's got this like righteous indignation about something he's not even sure about the whole time? He just keeps having this weird like anger. He's very angry. He's got this like righteous like indignation about something he's not even sure about the whole time. He's so angry. When he speaks you can just feel this palpable anger where he's just like You go ahead with that sunny gym. Like he's it just he there's no way he's ever gonna make a point because he's just furious. He just hates children because he was being attacked by like pink-haired trannies his whole life. He was a trans person with an intimate in 2017 Yeah, he's all out of ninja stars, and he doesn't know what the fuck to say anymore Yeah, that's the problem. I've said it many times, but those guys like literally

Never left 2017 and it's ruined their entire life for that reason yeah There's a whole set of circumstances now that are completely different, but they're still like In that like they still think broad cities on the air like that's the culture war they're fighting You know he's trying to like sun though like some of the people in that debate by just being older than them He's like don't you get fresh with me? You haven't lived I've been forced into a coma because of my pill addiction I've lived have you fucked my daughter? Because I have.

I have. That thing is- Sunny Jim? Sunny Jim. Listen, you think you know everything. You don't know what your daughter's pussy tastes like. Don't you disrespect incest.

When Noah's daughters had to lay with their brothers to repopulate the earth, was that a sin? Sunny boy Jacob? If you're gonna get rude, I'll just leave. Yeah, it's weird. He stinks now. You better watch it or I'll cry. I'll show you I'll cry on my suit.

I guess he's just like a fable. Like, you know, you better guard your heart. He is. If you're dwelling on stuff that's making you mad and feeling like you're a victim all the time, like you need to stop thinking about that stuff. I mean, I see that in myself. So like, you know, you just have to take a step back

from that stuff and like. Well, he took like $50 million from an Israeli funded platform. So now he's just compromised, I think. Right? Yeah, and there's actually a good chance too that they like brainwashed him and put stuff in his water and God knows what else.

Yeah. The benzodiazepine like addiction thing it at this point. It feels like it was Like someone got to him. Mm-hmm Someone and by someone I mean You know somebody Yeah, somebody is that and and the state of Israel. Yeah but and the state of Israel. Yeah. But, if you, it is that, it's that, we talked about before, it's that Roald Dahl quote. Of like, if you think.

Fuck bitches, get money. Yeah, yeah. Pussy rules everything around me. It's that story about the witches, where the ladies became ugly because they think ugly thoughts all the time. Like, I don't even recognize Jordan Peterson in that viral video of him getting owned by Atheist.

The way he's staring at everybody, he looks kind of like, kind of orcish. He looks evil, his eyebrows are like crazy, he's red. He looks like he's malnourished, he looks thirsty. He looks cagey, he doesn't look like he has smiled in years and years and years. You know when I met him like two and a half years ago, everything seemed really weird,

like his wife was just in the corner dressed like a colonial woman, and she was really quiet, and she looked like she was MK'd. Like she went in the corner to plug herself in. She's not even a, she doesn't even have like a soul anymore she's just some sort of Android and He was just like very very serious, and he looked exhausted and he takes life way too seriously

Like you like listen to like a teddy swim song and be like it makes me think about my past and they'll start weep You have to like you have to like tune a little bit more of life out. I think. I say this from experience. You just have to ignore. When you think of the Pink Pony Club, brings a tear to my eye. She'll be dancing.

She'll be dancing at the Pink Pony Club. One has to ask, what is a Pink Pony? I think if we're his marketing team, he needs to pivot big time. now. He needs a rebrand I think he needs to go check Hanks Wigger. Yeah, I think we need JP to go Wigger I think that's the only way out he needs to go Wigger or he needs to go trans cuz he has all the suits already If he went he'd be a great trans Cuz he dressed as like a dyke if he filled them out in the chest a little bit

Yeah, I did that a tailor if he if he sea cups, he'd be dating Cameron Esposito in a week. Yeah, he dresses like the Fighting Irish logo. He looks like he invented the Boston Celtics. Yeah, he's a tragic figure actually, because he used to roll. I loved him, man. I had his book, he kicked ass back in the day,

and it's sad. I loved him so much. He just sucks ass now. He's just getting destroyed by children. He's like debating like four year olds. Like sitting across from a kid with a sippy cup. He's like, fuck you asshole. That baby was mean to me.

That baby gave me a look. He's such a fucking crybaby bitch about everything. And as soon as he starts losing the argument. He's like fuck you No, he kept he kept threatening to like walk out because like a kid was just talking circles around him basically And he's like you're you're being rather rude Like it's a debate yeah, yeah, he can't even insult either it's very sad no He'll just be like well. Why don't you go get a bunch of pussy from college students? Huh, loser?

Why don't you go fuck? Why don't you go fuck everyone? Huh? Oh, well I bet your dick is constantly wet. And I guess I'm nothing more than a drug-addled fucking loser now. Oh, I bet, I guess just because I have a shriveled micro penis makes me gay, huh? Well fuck you Jack No, it's it's very sad If you get it if you spend 80% of your life

80% of your day is thinking about any one thing you need to just stop thinking about yeah ever again Did I ever it is I get sucked into stuff and I have to be for like months and I'm like I got to get Out of this Yeah Because then because you see him you go wait he can go from that to that you can become that yeah You can be like this seemingly happy college professor who has kind of a you know He's both feet planted on ground on the earth and like helps a lot of people and seems pretty benevolent kind and now he's this It's kind of unrecognizable, actually. Yeah, I've seen it in people in my real life,

where they get fired from a job or whatever, and they just get, they don't get some opportunity that they always wanted, and somebody who sucks gets it, and even if they're right, it's just all they start thinking about, and it warps them. There's people in my life I can't even speak to anymore because they've been so warped by their obsessions. And it's like, even if you're right, okay, you're right, you're ruining your life.

And by obsessing about it, it's doing nothing but ruining your life. So like, where do we go from here? Well, something in everybody's life is going to happen to them that can make them bitter. That they could stew on it. And it might take you like, you know, a while to get over it. But you gotta get over it. You got to get over it. And you gotta stop dwelling on it.

And you can't, there's nothing good that comes from being like a crybaby bitch about stuff. Yeah, that was a place not to get all therapy at the end of an episode. Although I think people like that sometimes. That was a place I got to in therapy very recently. And I'm- Leather pants.

Leather pants, fuck you whore. Anyway, therapy. Look at this whore. Look at this whore. About loving yourself. I bet her pussy's full of cum. Anyway, so I was talking to my therapist the other day. Look at this, look at this cankly bitch.

So anyway, I was talking about radical acceptance with my therapist. No, I was talking about just, you know, you have these things, like I have this hard time getting over, you know, growing up really Christian and being like fucking abused when I was a kid and how it made, I was like kind of insane and I couldn't live life and I was scared of everything. And like, I kind of lost my youth to that. And I faced a long period of bitterness where I was just like, I was just just like I did lose my youth and there's nothing I can get back I can never get that back you can't get time back and then eventually you get to a point where you're

like okay that's true at some point move on right because there's this whole other 50 years maybe yes of life that you can get and you're ruining it thinking about time that's been lost. So at a certain point you just have to be like, okay, I accept this and now I'm gonna have the best life I can going forward. Yes, you don't want to devote your entire life to just just seething about one thing and becoming like a super villain. Then yeah, then you become like therapy guy. You become like Jonah Hill. You like let therapy make you an insane person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You become like Jonah Hill, you let therapy make you an insane person. That's like the next level up from trauma recovery or whatever you want to fucking call

it. You kind of do have to get to a point where you're just like, all right, whatever, I'm just going to kind of ignore it in a healthy way. Yeah. I couldn't have said it better myself, Chase. Look at that stupid fucking kid. If we had more of a culture, we don't have a culture of any kind. Like, that goes, you're a man now, and then here's how you contribute and stuff.

Yeah, we're all searching for an identity a little bit. I think people need to be patient with white guys, and I think we're too hard on white guys. Like, white guys are in America traditionally in the last like 40 years. They're late bloomers. It takes them a while to figure stuff out It seems women actually kind of figure like especially in like Shakespeare plays and stuff like a woman is very wise at like the age of 16 and then like a Guy it takes him like his entire life to gain that same wisdom like on his deathbed only he realizes what like Some like 14 year old girl in a play that everybody's trying to marry knows. Yeah, I think that's the case with like with like Anglo

like culture and stuff We just don't we're late bloomers man, we figure we figure shit out really late and We're late bloomers, man. We figure shit out really late. And everybody needs to have a little bit of compassion, a little bit of patience. As we're kind of figuring stuff out, fucking up, being gay, experimenting with this radical extreme thing and that radical extreme thing. You know, we're, we, you know,

if life's a grocery store, it takes us longer than average to figure out what we wanna make for dinner, is what I'm saying. We're not in and out, guys. We're not going in there in four minutes, five minutes. It's gonna take us 25 minutes to find the maple syrup. Right, and we might, you know,

rape a couple women along the way, you know? But let us figure it out. It takes us a little bit of time to find the milk to pour onto the black clerk's head. And then it takes us to our deathbed till we realize, oh, that's mean to do that. Maybe it takes us about 70, 80 years. Other people have feelers.

To realize, oh, shit. Ah, damn. Did we stop them from having freedom? Well, I was a late bloomer. You're a grand wizard of the KKK. I was a late bloomer. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was racist

until three hours ago on my deathbed. Yeah. I guess patreon.com slash Lemon Party and come see us on the road. Yeah, San Diego, LA, Portland, Seattle, and probably San Francisco, so far. So go to limbaparty.life and get tickets to go call us gay in person. I'm so excited for the future, man. Like getting better, figuring stuff out. Yeah. Not, you know, I have a big family now and like, I don't know, every time you have a kid,

it like wakes something up in you. And fuck, I gotta admit though, for anybody who is like, cause I get emails from people who are gonna become parents, there really is so much anxiety you can't even acknowledge before the kid comes out that like, it really fucks with your head. Yeah, you're losing your damn mind a little bit. Yeah, I was I apologize for that guys I

Put a lot of that stress on you guys probably We only to lean on people from time to time yeah, it's okay. I love you guys. I truly I have a Very very few close friends in this world besides you two guys, and I love you guys, I truly, I have very, very few close friends in this world besides you two guys, and I love you dearly. I love you too. I love you too, buddy. Sorry, I thought you were going somewhere else with that. No, it's just-

I was giving you a pause, a dramatic pause. No, I just, I feel like we don't tell each other enough that we love each other. Yeah. Because we don't tell ourselves, you know, that same thing. I feel like we tell each other that every time we say goodbye. That is true. I know, but it stings. I hate telling you guys I love you.

I fucking hate it. Why does it sting? I hate hugging you guys when I'm telling you I love you. I know, you still do give me a hug. I go, ah, fuck it. It burns. You still do give me a hug like I'm a woman I DM'd when I shouldn't have.

You're like a woman in comedy I DM'd in 2019 when I was drunk. I just gave you a blowjob in your car. And then you hug me in a way where somehow your chest is facing the opposite direction when we hug. Honestly, the only thing that would make sense in terms of why I am this way, Jace, is I find out, if you confess to me on your deathbed

that you fucked my mouth when I was sleeping all the time. Sure. If you molested me hardcore, and that's why you like fucked my mouth when I was sleeping all the time sure Like if you molested me hardcore, and that's why I've been digging for that for a while I'm never gonna divulge if I did or not. I Did I'm not telling you I did it but if I did I'd never tell And if I did and I swear I didn't but if I did I'd say these exact same words right now, but I didn't I'm not telling you I'm but I would not tell There's nothing more badass thing than going to the grave with some vital piece of information and someone's begging telling telling

I'll tell I'll tell your son on my deathbed right before when you're not in the room and I go tell you dad I fucked him in the mouth And then your son just has to carry the weight of like should I Like he's talking to like grief counselors like should I tell my dad that he was fucked in the mouth Yeah, that's that's when you get it off your chest Great great dicks right here great sporting goods store dicks Life is beautiful, man. It's full of dreams and nightmares

and everything in between. Yeah, that's a meek mill album. What's the meek mill album? Dreams and nightmares. Oh, free meek mill. Which he made while he was getting ass raped by Diddy. At Diddy parties. We know later, it was very funny.

Taking the Obama X and see. I literally, I was listening to Lord Knows the other day, I'm like, man, the whole time, you fucked in the ass. Yep. Just going Lord knows. That's why Meek Mill sounds like he's in the other room when he raps, because he was tied up at a ditty party when he recorded it.

Screaming at a microphone, two bedrooms up. Let me out! He was a hostage. He was a hostage. And he goes Lord knows. Yeah. I got A1 everything. Open the door. Open the door.

A1 everything. Oh, shit. Look at that. Look at the fucking Americana goers today. Love it. That is our, that is the busiest crosswalk there is. I saw that busy crosswalk. I did get an urge to push the accelerator right through it. I know

God that is the thing. I am gonna work on and we're gonna end this episode one day But I need to work on stop being in crowds like this and just going everybody's bugs and should be fucking run over You're the Connor O'Malley sketch. I know I actually saw that sketch. I go fuck. That is me fuck Damn it. We're just walking around the mall, you go, everybody's a fucking slug. And I was like, fuck. Fuck. Yeah, he's owning me. Fuck, he's owning me,

but he's also riding at the same time. No. That's such a good sketch. Yeah, it's very good. He really is like the funniest dude making sketches right now. I know, I've really been owned twice recently, that sketch and then you pointing out that I'm like

Oh, dude, you are Greg Turkington's character and on cinema I know or just I just can't watch a movie without leaning in and being like so that's actually the cinematographer The actor got sick and he had to fill in for him runtime of 108 minutes I go which was long for the time. I was literally like I was literally like I bit my tongue or just being like yeah I watched witness the other day surprisingly good screenplay For 1984 those are Amish people It's bad. Yeah, I go so Harrison Ford was in Star Wars. I Told you though Greg that is actually who he is as a person. He's obsessed with movies

Yes, everything about every single movie. I just I just can't I can't, I never, it's one of the few fat kid traits I've never gotten rid of other than being fat. Of, of just like not being, I just can't stop myself from going like, mm mm, actually you know, mm, porpoises breathe air but they can dive to a mile under this, I just can't stop myself from doing that shit. Well, that's what rules about society,

is we all make you insecure, feel insecure about knowing stuff. Yeah. We're like, dude, he sucks. He knows all this shit. I know it, because I've just been at parties, and I've just rattled off too many facts. And then I can see people blinking at me

like they're in an AA meeting. It's just funny to make you feel like a loser, because you know which one's the mesosphere and the stratosphere. And then you know all the layers. You know how deep the ocean is. And we're like, god, he sucks ass. Knowledge make me feel weird.

Knowledge make me feel upset. Don't invite him next time. Don't invite him. He like, no shit. Dog, you're making me feel weird and insecure, so I'm going to attack you you mentally his brain like a textbook I don't like how he'd be reminding me that we all on a big rock flying through space and shit It like Loki gives me a panic attack thinking about the life choices. I made let's alpha dog him

Let's take him. Let's take him up to the San Jacinto mountains Let's make him with a Uzi cuz he'd be telling us all types of shit we don't know. Man, that fact was hella gay. We're gonna make you dig your own grave in the desert. It's such a funny character trait to be like, yo, information upsets me. Information be upsetting. I don't like knowledge.

Low key, my brain be hurting at that shit. So knock it off or I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking slit your throat in the bathroom, dog. Because you're making my brain got like fucking worms in it. In closing though, do you think if you go deep enough down a hole of being retarded, do you sort of ascend like a monk? If you become so retarded, do you have the same level

of, what's it called, sans-sera or whatever, where like you meditate out of this body. Sam-sara, yeah. Sam-sara, like. It's actually called Sam-sara. Which was also a movie from 1993. A movie with Philip Glass's soundtrack of, no, I'm actually thinking of a different thing. I would, I get the point, you're trying to make,

like you can be so ret of retarded become like the boot Rating like a monk like a bald monk. I used to I used to kind of think that when I'd feel sorry at myself for feeling Bad all the time, but then I'm like well Those were super retarded people are all like on galaxy gas and like addicted to like fucking and have 12 kids like If you like really at peace, would you be like low-key? I need to inhale this gas that kills me If you were like really at peace, would you be like low-key? I need to inhale this gas that kills me Cuz like I fucking I have like this rage at my like my brain and shit So no, I think I think being retarded just makes you like an ant you're like a coyote with a

It's leg caught in the trap here like Loki if I knew how to I chew my shit off So you think it's like an existential thing beneath the like I gotta do galaxy gas all the time Yeah, I think you feel the same way, but you don't understand it So you're kind of like a bug with one of its legs squished dude that but that's why everybody loves jelly roll because he's like I'm fucking retarded and I can't stop crying about my dad It's like low-key like every second is a waking nightmare, but I got God. Yeah, but I got God though Low-key God loves me and he made every second of my life. I'll wake him fucking nightmare Because he said the meat The meek shown hair at the wharf, you know

You know I'm saying dog. I used to be a wig Now I'm a cowboy like games and like has sex with a porn star and stuff. Yeah Could you imagine him even doing drugs? Like what does that look like? interesting finally The guy that should have been famous yeah exactly like my here's my 400 pound friend jelly roll He does heroin you should somehow he's not dead should be allowed to be sober at an entertainer. Yeah, that is true I kind of agreed Evan Devin. 100%. Maybe if you're in an orchestra or something.

You should be sober as an entertainer. Like you're playing Vienna. Yeah. You should be sober if you did a good nine years, and you were about to die, and you got sober. And then now you're just kind of annoying on podcasts about drinking. But you better have documented those nine years.

Yes. You need a Behind the Music where you talk about the time you shoved a bunch of fish up David Bowie's ass. All these places in Glendale, I've picked up so much stuff here as a PA. Like on shoots for like Nathan For You. Weird little documentaries. Running around getting coffee for Leah Romini. Those were the good days, man. Just smoking a cigarette and handing Leah Romini a cappuccino. Taking a sneak at her,

taking a sneak peek. Was she thin or fat at the time? Because she yo-yos. No, she was plumped. She was plumped, but those titties were juiced? She was plumped, it didn't matter. I mean, it looked like she was drowning in her own flesh. Love that, I actually love that.

And my dick's a life preserver that I'm throwing to her to pool on. A woman's drowning in a roaring river and and you throw a jander your penis. Yeah, you're like I can't reach you, but you can grab my go use it hard You can't reach you guys to show me your tent you're gonna have to work on it Take all the balls Now work the shaft

Alright alright. I can pull you now. Hold on, I need to come. You come and then she strips back out. She strips like, I don't give a shit. Post not clarity, I'm glad you're dead, whore. Yeah, you come and you go, ah, you stupid. I have a wife. You siren, you muse, you harpy.

You come and you go, ah, you stupid bitch, and you kick her in the head. Enjoy hell! Whore, Ruining my marriage! Alright, patreon.com slash lemon party everybody. Bye! See you later! Carved in it deep, it don't tell my life story These things, it can't repeat I never had a family I never took a wife, all I had was a bottle and I drank away my life.

Be the bottle with me, for it's what tore me down So I won't be alone tonight, when they put me in the ground When they lower my body down A drunkard is a sinner On this I place no doubt Oh, the Lord won't share His past With the things he lives without For the bottle is the devil my soul and petrified my brain So bury the bottle with me, for it's what tore me down So I won't be alone tonight When they put me in the ground

When they lower my body down