lemonparty - 140: Cartel Cartier

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Cartel Cartier | lemonparty podcast 140 bonus episodes: https://patreon.com/lemonparty LP is coming to San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Dallas, etc ⁠https://www.lemonparty.life/livedates⁠ Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first Factor box. Use code LEMON50OFF at factormeals.com/lemon50off Support the show and start your free online Hims today at https://www.hims.com/lemon Support the show and get 20% off your first Lucy order with code LEMON at https://www.lucy.co/lemon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I met this 29 year old girl who had six months to live in one of her last dying wishes is that she wanted to get her one last time and of course I volunteer you know um yep no that'll be it, that's a pretty big order. Would you happen to be Ben Avery? Yeah, that's me. Do you listen to the show? No, I've never actually listened to it.

I don't know where it is. I keep commenting on the videos, where is it? But nobody answers me. I can help you find the show if you need me to. Never heard it, never seen it, But I think it's great, man. Anyway, that'll be $85. Oh man. Okay. Yeah, I love the show, man.

Oh my God. I can't believe you're here. Can't believe you're here. We're in a big ass fucking order. Jesus. Would you like to upgrade that to a big fat faggot combo? No, I don't need to upgrade or anything. Hey man, by the way, I just wanted to warn you, the chef jacks off in all the food.

It's got common, it's got the chef's common, so just FYI, he can't take the come out because he already put it in. I just wanted to give you a heads up Just you're eating cum from the chef I say that as a fan I just want to let you know I don't want you to Like, you know get get fucked over by that Okay, all right, thank you Anything else Anything else? I'm trying to get my girlfriend to get cancer now. I'll be blowing cigarette smoke in her face.

I got that bitch sleeping next to a microwave. I'm on the light beam Always in my face talking, listening Girl I had the best of meals but a cat nabbed Yeah, is that bad? Yeah, can you just turn the fan on? Yeah I just get a little sore throaty Oh wow I can't hear myself at all I don't know if we're going

Hello hello hello all right now. It's coming. Hey Can you hear it? It's a little body. It's figuring itself out. Yeah, it's warm. It's getting warmed up Yeah, Ben's finally he's nimble enough to do soy face again Yeah, you had to get spine injections to do soy face. Ben literally, he got shots in the ass before the San Diego show, like it's any given Sunday. Like it was a running back, you got one run in you. It's the Super Bowl. Get out there and say fag.

Yeah. If you go back out there, you may never do soy face again. God damn it, Doc, just shoot me the fuck up. You got shots in your fucking spine, though. Yeah, yeah. They're giving me morphine just so I can soy. I know. That was an amazing, hilarious day.

On the drive back the next day, Ben was in the back seat of my car, just like this. Just cramped, body completely contorted, and he's just saying brilliant things and then retarded things, and then going on long tangents about, I've never met anybody with the will, with the will to hate like you,

with a bad back and all. The will to be retarded. It's amazing, yeah. Too much, you can't stop his swag. I really can't be stopped. You're an unstoppable force. Yeah, that much, like you can't stop his swag. I really can't be stopped. You're an unstoppable force. Yeah, that's right. You were in so much obvious pain that entire day and a half

and I couldn't believe how you were still the one talking the most going off on things. Yeah, staying up all night. Staying up till the end. Yeah, I was like, you go into your hotel, you're like, I'll sleep on that couch. I'm like, that's a terrible idea. That's gonna fuck you up. But when I slept with our feet touching each other

on a big L-shaped couch. I know, you guys were like half of a plus sign sleeping together. And he's like, fine, you're amazing. I love touching your feet while I'm sleeping. I know. With my feet. I don't love waking up at five a.m.

and then watching you sleep, but. It was very cute just wishing you all good night and then going into bed. Like you're all my three children. Great job podcasting today boys. Connor had fallen asleep like two hours earlier. Yeah. Oh man, that was fun though.

It was a fun day. We got through it. We all got some big burritos. We got some massive burritos at Alberto's. At Alberto's that Jake Rhodes threw up outside of. Yep. Yeah. And then he hopped back in the car and he was ready to go. And then you pissed like on his head while he was throwing up. I was peeing near him. I might have peed on him. But yeah. Yeah. It was a beautiful night. A guy bounced a

credit card on a hundred dollars worth of merch. A guy with a cowboy hat in the front row bought a hundred dollars worth of merch and then guy with the cowboy hat in the front row bought $100 worth of merch and then we left the next day, Jace goes, his card bounced. It said on the, I got the little device, it's like card went through and then I woke up the next day I'm like, all right, let me even the guys what we made. It was like, oh, that completely bounced, so. I go, luckily he bought everything.

Making Twitter posts, like, hey, does anyone know the guy in the cowboy hey there's a fan robbed me last night anybody know the ice agent in the cowboy hat from Hawaii he handed me his ice card on stage he's like I felt bad about killing Mexicans so I know I don't think I think as we learned more as we asked them our questions I really wasn't a moral issue for him he was just like about killing Mexicans, so I... No, I don't think, I think as we learned more, as we asked him more questions, I realized it wasn't a moral issue for him. He was just like, they fucking treated me badly.

It was something like that. Oh, so he shaped it into, I couldn't do that. I might be wrong, I just remember us making a joke with him because he said another thing and I was like, oh, so this wasn't even a moral issue with you. You like got fired and you're just, you're vengeful at us. You're just angry. And then he got a job as a general contractor,

so I think he just likes bossing Mexicans around. Like he moved kind of laterally a little bit. Yeah, he's like if you can't beat him, join him, kinda. But like have your foot on their neck. Yeah, I could still yell at him all day. As long as I could do that. Yeah, from Hawaii. There are cops that retire and they're like,

on their deathbed, they're like, if I could lock up one more black son of a bitch. It goes, call up, make a wish, have him bring him to my room. Put a gun in my hand. Can you bring me a black guy like that goat in Jurassic Park real quick? Time up. Just one more. Just one more.

I mean, old dudes like old veterans, they go to army recruitment centers and they're like, just send me over there. Let me just feed bullets into the big machine guns. Put me in a can and fire me at a moss, please. Just one last rodeo. Let me go over. I'll throw the grenades. Yeah. By the way, speaking of soldiers,

Devon, this this underpass over here. Is crazy. This, oh I'm sorry, the overpass, excuse me. The one that has all the homeless people on the left side driving past. It's crazy. Which one are we talking? It's the one.

Rampart? In Silver Lake to get onto. So it's the 101 and you get off on Silver Lake Boulevard right there and you turn left to go under the yeah yeah yeah yeah tents in the in the lane yeah you know they and they wander in the street like it is there it's like their home yeah yeah no I thought I wasn't gonna make it driving through their living room yes excuse me pardon me they're trading knives back and forth there's a there's a trans woman homeless trans woman mm-hmm I

clocked her too. Did you see the dirt bike? She had a dirt bike? There's an XLR 250, that dirt bike that Ryan Gosling robs banks with and plays beyond the pines. And it's rigged all bad Max style, spray painted with stripes, there's a big yellow tube coming off the back.

I saw this trans woman, like kick the, whatever the thing is, the kickstand and like rev it and like got off and was crouching behind a fence to gather precious metals it's bad max yeah it is mad man is stealing she's stealing hormones and then driving into a truck but then Mendelsohn's driving there actually they're trans just cuz they're so homeless and fucked up like they just start getting like like the tits are growths, they're not even, like they didn't even get surgery to get tits,

it's just tumors. Yeah, he's like, I got my dick caught in a bike chain, so I guess I'm a woman now. The cock falls off at some point. Yeah, they're like, there's like, they have to get their cock removed, like a kid getting his tooth. They tie their cock to like a door jam

and like shut it real quick, because it's just hanging by a thread Yeah, it's a real problem down there and someone's got to do something. Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad over there It's getting too bad over here. No, yeah, we're entering a recession again, and it seems to that's been like I'm glad you said that though because I thought I was just I'm becoming to San Diego. Well, I'm trying here Yeah, it was bad. I'm scared. I was like I was like they need somebody to take a flamethrower to that place Yeah, I'm gonna. Yeah, there's a I'm becoming too San Diego. When I was driving here. Yeah, it was bad. I'm scared. I was like, they need somebody to take a flamethrower to that place. Yeah, I'm gonna.

Yeah. I'm gonna. Yeah. I'm gonna have that flamethrower from the thing. I'm gonna be walking down there at 3 a.m. Testing guy's blood and they pass and you still burn him. Sure, man, stealing their pain medication because I desperately need it.

Yeah. I'll be trading pills for executions at three in the morning. Yeah, you are one wife away from being that guy. Just with the fucked up, walking like a crab under an underpass. Because you can't get PT. Walking like the girl in the exorcist down the stairs.

Yeah. You've been, we haven't talked about it in the podcast, have we, how fucked up he got. I don't think so. I think we missed it, yeah. Yeah've been, we haven't talked about it in the podcast have we, how fucked up he got. I don't think so. I think we missed it, yeah. Yeah, Ben, I think maybe we mentioned he had back pain, but then it got. No, I think we talked about it last time.

We did, last time. We did, okay, okay. It's been ongoing for two weeks now. Yeah. But then it got worse, like the day of the San Diego trip. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Yeah, it couldn't. I'm going to a guy that's probably making it worse,

and it's very expensive, but it makes my wife Happy and helps her sleep at night and that's what's important. Yeah, the real pain in my backside is my wife Hey, really? I go to that's why I go to the doctor That's why your ribs are out of place your damn wife's trying to steal one of them Just like Eve It was funny though you you don't let up which I'm very like if I have a slight cold I you won't see me for four weeks. But you were at the improv last night on your birthday. Oh, yeah. Shout out to McCusker, Sean Gardini.

Gardini. Shout out to the dogs. Yep. Yeah, they had us. I saw one guy, I saw like a 45 year old guy stand next to Sean Gardini and he had his hands in his pockets. He goes, I've been a dog since 2019. Like he served. That's kind of how he said it. Like Sawtown! Yeah 72nd Battalion podcast sir! EC Shaw just be like oh thank you. I saw like a 400 pound Native American guy with a nose ring just be like I you know I had the noose around my neck brother and you show you know brought me back it was nice to see that from the outside

yeah it was neat it was neat and Matt was great Sean was great it was a good show it was a good show but before we went there though we went to Taylor steakhouse my favorite steakhouse in Los Angeles mm-hmm I don't know if you guys noticed hmm our Mexican waitress. Yeah, she had braces She did it makes me sad. I don't I hate the judge. You guys know me sure I don't judge is putting their teeth behind bars now. I thought they were As a family across the street is taken in broadband. We're in the basement just. We're in the basement. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I had a little silly joke about Japan. Ice agent shooting that rooster through the head that lived across from you. Black bagging a rooster. Yeah, shut that fucking rooster up. Go, go, go, go. Guys are just mowing their lawns now. I've read news stories where dudes are mowing the lawn

and an unmarked van rolls up. They just get tackled. They just get tackled, the mower's still going. Troy Palomalo's working for ICE and just hammering people all over town. They're just jumping over the fucking hedge. I saw a bunch running in Santa Monica, like running into a car wash.

No, ICE, like Border Patrol guys, like full on sprinting like the 28 days later zombie that is running like a psycho. The alpha. And they're fucking making their way through a car wash and then they walk in, they bust into the gift shop and shit, I just turned it off, but I'm sure they murdered a man next to the air freshener or something.

You go, well if I watch this it'll be harder to do bits, so. Exactly. Click. That isn't real. Turning you off. It exists only in the imagination land. It's not true. Just hurting an amazing employee who works 16 hours a day.

Yeah. Who's keeping the business afloat. A guy who's been working for $8 an hour for 60 years. And then some guy's just putting a boot in his fucking neck Like breaking is a guy who's a legal alien who's paid taxes like an idiot. Yep. Yeah, I got how they tracked him down I gotta say though Seeing the grown-ups with braces it just it does bum me out It's kind of like seeing a dog with the cone on its neck

Yeah, like what happened to you? Who hurt you? Who did this to you? There's shame about it. And I feel like they should have to acknowledge it immediately. It also should be kind of illegal to have braces on and be working at a fake nice restaurant like that.

That was my exact feeling. Isn't that kind of the feeling? If we were like Monocle wearing big fat fucks that are like, oh, you know, like liningocle wearing like big fat fucks that are like oh You know like lining and dining on the town. You know take the bathroom. Yeah, give me the white. Give me the white She's like got like fucking rubber bands and her braces. You're like what it what this is not okay I looked at her gums. They're filthy get it out of here. It's not okay. That's for Waba grill You keep that at the flame bro. If I need a teriyaki chicken ball hit you up, sweetheart

Braces are great if you wanna keep your kids from being trafficked. You could just leave them at the park if they have a nice set of braces on. Nobody wants that shit. Sure. It's like being redheaded. Yeah.

It's just you're overlooked by everybody in society. The really picky pedophiles, like, that little toothy, huh? I got, I got a... A little bony. I think there's a lot of pedophiles who are hacks and they're like the braces actually makes it hotter for me Because they're like I like I like knowing that I'm doing a wicked despicable thing. He's a contrarian who knows he's lying to himself Yeah, exactly. Another guy should be shot to the head. Yeah. No, of course. Yeah, of course But yeah, I actually didn't notice that.

My back was to her the whole time, and I refused to look at it. That's right. She would give you martinis over, like coming in on the right, just like putting a martini past your ear in front of you. You would just keep yelling and just start drinking. Thank you Juanita.

Thank you. Juanita, I'm trying to talk about David Lucas, if you don't mind. While I eat this porterhouse. Juanita, we just got intel he might be at the show tonight. And he was. And we're preparing. And he walked by us.

And he walked by us. He was, we figured out he was at the show and we treated it like Luigi's Mansion. Like there's just this floating ghost we have to like stay away from it every second. Yeah, it was, that was very funny. Yeah. Nothing happened though?

Nothing happened. Walked right by us. Nothing should happen. No it was a great night, Matt was great, Sean was great, everybody did great on the show, we had a fun hang. Then I found a Wigger on TikTok. Oh. Really?

You guys like watching Wiggers? Sure. Sure. I mean, I was at the David Lucas show. Hey, guys, it's summer. Avoid the heat by avoiding the kitchen with Factor. Factor sends chef prepared meals right to your door. Heat them up for just two minutes and dinner is served with 45 weekly menus. There's something you'll love guaranteed.

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Get Factor for all the flavor and none of the fuss. Get started at factormeals.com slash lemon50off and use code lemon50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code lemon 50 off at factor meals comm slash lemon 50 off for 50% off plus free shipping factor meals comm slash lemon 50 off. Thank you factor and now back to the show back to the show. I Love wiggers. I got to type this guy and because he's fucking he's really good He's really fucking good. What type we talking here the worst kind you talk is it your oh for wigger Is it your modern wigger? Yeah, actually you guys are gonna have to break down the wigger world

Okay. Yeah, I don't even like saying the word. Is it is it chat? I don't like I know It's a rough one. I know I still say I stick the landing on it I say we're trying many times to say like I mean isn't it racist cuz it's saying like a white n-word Mm-hmm, and then I've had people be like no the action you're fucking idiot the genesis of that You go, okay I guess you've made up a definition of it to be if they gave me one other word I would use that but there's's not, you have to say. It's the easiest, quickest way

to just get across what you mean. You have to say a white guy pretending to be black. Yeah, and then you're like, well then that's, I don't know, that's so clunky. Now it feels weird that I'm not saying wigger, I know. Sorry, I'm a wordsmith. I stuck it in front of your black friends the other day when I was making fun of Logan.

You have to say it around black people to just let them know what's up. You have to be like, listen, listen, I am not gonna, I'm not gonna go the long way. Mm-mm. Because I respect you. Because listen, I wanna have fun here, you need to get over this,

because I am not taking a detour. I'm not gonna go, like a white guy, acting wacky. No, you go, this fucking wigger was like this, and then it's fun. We can get to shit quicker. This fucking wigger. And saying fucking wigger sounds horrible for some reason. No, you go, this fucking wigger was like this, and then it's fun. We can get to shit quicker. No, this fucking wigger. Saying fucking wigger sounds like horrible for some reason.

This wigger fuck. No, I was at Cringe, and Logan was wearing his do-rag thing, and I called him Larry the Wigger guy, and then I looked at your two friends, and I was like. And did they laugh? They were like, they gave me a thumbs up and I go, that's right, that's goddamn right. No, you just have to come in confident.

Yeah, no, Garrick actually, he didn't put the durag on me and he was cracking up. You thought that was the funniest thing you'd ever seen, me in a durag. And then I walked in and I was already wearing one. They take it off. This guy right here, have you guys seen this guy? No.

Is he the Trump, is he the Trump wigger? Oh, is he a Trump guy? There's a guy that looks kinda like him that makes like Trump rap music. I know who you're talking about, that guy has more face tattoos. Devin, this is Cartel Cartier. Oh, okay.

Okay, man, Cartel Cartier, we out here. Man, and then I'll be seeing some of y'all on here talking about, oh yeah, get you a pink dude, he gonna treat you better. A pink dude? Do not think that. Is pink white now? Is that what they're referring to white guys as?

This is what I was going to defer to YouTube for. Yeah, cause he's now thinking of himself in a different community. He doesn't even say white. Pink dude. Yeah. He refuses to say white. He refuses to say white. He's like, so I see all these bitches out here, I just want a pink dude.

He's had to come up with all sorts of new language. No, he was on a whiteboard. He's like, what is the white version of YN? And it's pink dude. Yeah. He's a PD. So he would say he's, what would he describe himself as though?

Cause you would say he's not pink. An embarrassment. If you really, if you really like, got him in an honest moment. I'm an embarrassment. He go, I'm a motherfucking embarrassment. I'm an embarrassment. I was like, no, it's like,

I kind of have so much self hate, it's easier to be a caricature than a real person. Every wake up moment of my life is fake. I had like a really good childhood and I pretend to eat oxtail and shit. Man, you know how weird it is to completely mimic another culture while at the same time behind closed doors like really hating those motherfuckers.

It's like, Loki is like more disrespectful than just being racist. Like in an ordinary way. And that's why I do it. That's why I do it. Cause it's way more racist. It's like, I've learned so much about you and I think you're cartoon characters.

Exactly. So that's why I am. I like about you and I think you're cartoon characters So that's why I like your music is silly cuz y'all dumb Yeah, I've reduced y'all whole people to like eating a certain type of cow pot It's like racial furries. Yeah, they want to dress up, you know, I'm not gonna finish that sentence, but right here This is I'm kind of realizing I think Wiggers is gonna be like a big, big thing. I think Wiggers going to the moon. It's already been a thing, but it is. They're having a moment.

It is having a moment. Chet Hanks kind of brought it back into the. Yeah, a comeback moment a little bit. Well, what's great about them is they're not boring. Like, gamers are boring. Like, a lot of groups are kind of like boring, you know? These guys always have takes. Where they're like, I be thinking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cerebral. I'm like cerebo. Yeah. Like you don't know, here's what's interesting. You don't know where he's going in this clip. Do you have any idea where he's going in this clip? He's going to a grocery store in Buffalo to light it up.

Ha ha ha ha. Payback time. Why y'all make me this way? Imitating y'all people's turn me into a monster. My daddy does hold me. Yeah, no, it's also there's so many different types of wiggers. There's the ones that don't really know much work into it and they just like They just act tired all they like they just act like an act like an it like a like a d1 athlete in college on his

Day off like walk into the cafeteria with his flip-flops and his hoodie on And they so badly want to say So badly want to let every because it's so it's so it they so badly want to say, how come that would be the N word? You know, they so badly want to let every, cause it's so, it's so, it's got a rhythm to it, you know? It is a beautiful word. Yeah, that's why they're always searching. They're like, pink dude. They're like, that'll be it.

Yeah, exactly. But then, and then you got the ones that really commit and they like get lineups. They'll shave their widows' peak, so it looks like they have a perfect lineup. Lines in the eyebrow. I had a Korean friend that was a total, he was like a Korean wigger. And he committed so hard to it that he would literally pretend, like he had the same issues as black people, like internally.

Like what? He would always be like, I'm lactose intolerant. You're like like celiac? He'd be like, I'm lactose intolerant. Like celiac. We all just thought it was serious for a while. And then we realized after a year of knowing, we're like, we eat pizza with you all. You eat pizza like every lunch. Cheese pizza, but it's pizza though.

No, I'm talking about milk and shit. But I went on to, I really did break down. I was like, you literally fake lactoseant cuz he it's a black people thing Mm-hmm. He's like, okay dog. I low key can't swim. Yeah, I didn't know that was a black thing by the way Oh, yeah lactose intolerant. Yeah, a lot of black people most black people are lactose intolerant Yeah, because they didn't have as much access to dairy. Yeah genetically. I believe How did they not have access to dairy most fucking in there there's not good cows and shit in Africa I mean there is but they're like those water buffalo that are just used in like movies and stuff right yeah marlon brando

Yeah, but don't you drink titty milk. That's milk. Yeah, but it's different though. You know not by my standards Yeah, you're not making you're not making you know mama I think most people are lactose intolerant other than like northern Europeans or whatever Yeah, because that they all were because you've become used to it Chinese don't eat dairy they don't go to a Chinese restaurant. There's no cheese. No milk. No nothing nothing I know I know you can't get a damn slice of American anything no in a Chinese restaurant I know it's so annoying and the slice of American anything now in a Chinese restaurant So annoying and the crab Rangoon. It's like a fake white. It's like Chinese jizz

Rangoon, it's just old old shot old age dry age Chinese Yeah, they fuck the crab and then they mash it up They go we got our oldest grandpa to jizz in this little fried thing and we've pinched it into a little bow It is Chinese guys jizzing into the fryer. And do a big walk. A big thing of hot oil. A big walk that they turn like this the minute they jizz. A bunch of Chinese guys. They go, if I don't cook this food in four seconds,

I have to kill myself. That's why I love walks. But I don't think they're lactose. Chinese, I don't think. It's just not in their diet. They're genetically predisposed to alcohol flush. That's a thing. They all get bright red when they're exposed to like all basically being allergic to alcohol. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's why they do rice wine

I Bill I get maybe I don't know. I don't know if that's the reason but uh, yeah The Chinese are just kind of like anti, you know good time. I feel like yeah, so Their good time is opium like they have to go to sleep to have a good time They can't be like up and about and yeah shit. Yeah. Yeah, because you see what happens they have the those salarymen in Japan and they're just all like in the in the They're in the fucking subway just like raping and throwing up on women like all the speaking of raping and throwing up on women all day I want to show you this wigger. Oh, okay, sorry. Yeah. We started playing, he's like,

I was raping women and going up all day. My name is Cartel Cartier. Me and my homies say we're in the cartel, but we sell weed. So he's cosplaying as an MS-13 guy too. Yeah. Weirdly, cause it's Cartel, right? And he does nonsensical hand gestures all day.

He just pulls up to a 7 7-eleven and he's like What's up? Did that guy just get a concussion is you like stimming out He's going through the other side and he goes, aw shit. Aw y'all got me fucked up. Not like me, Joe Black right now. Fuck.

We out you. And you're like, who's we? You're alone in a giant truck that you pay four grand a month for. He's like me and my voices. It's a wonder what you can do though if you just have a cigarette behind your ear and a flat brim. Yeah, you're like it

You got street knowledge. Yeah, exactly, you know, you need that cigarette cuz you might be stressing You got that Lucy right? You got I got a Lucy cuz This cigarette just I'll keep this to bang on my hand 55 times I don't smoke I just bang it on my fucking palm. Let's go to Red Lobster get some scrap Let's get some script Alfredo no cream Man and then I'll be seeing some of y'all on here talking about. Oh, yeah, get you a pink do he gonna treat you better? Baby, but do not think that for real Cuz me back in the day

Ten years ago. Oh what a dog the hell out of a woman. I would have not cared It's a maturity thing with career. You know they say men mature later than women with turn again Don't don't think it's no hell no and then for the ones It's a big point. It's a big philosophical. It's a big philosophical, yeah. Nah, I've been thinking in my truck. Nah, like, back when I was a young pup,

I like low key gray area, like rape a woman. Like, it's like, you can't, like, I can't go to jail, but I'm not a good dude for what I did. So here's the problem. I usually can understand white people It's like the one culture. I can really understand sure I don't know what he's saying you guys are gonna have to do sign language a pink I mean it literally sounds like he's talking about like fucking dogs. Yeah

Call me they call me They call me RR. Hey lady, you out there sucking on Red Rockets. I got that pussy barking the way I suck off that Red Rocket. Hey, yo Cartel Cartier, hey, we out here. Hit up my line. It's always we, no one's in their crew. There's no I. This guy's alone in his truck making TikTok videos like a little girl.

And he's like, I'm the hottest motherfucker alive. Into a ring light camera that he set up. He's also has a Snapchat that has like 25 teenage girls added to it. And he's like, what's up, just stole my grandma's fucking opioids, like hit my line up. He's like, I'm bringing a big net to the Dilea show tonight.

My grandma's dying in her nursing home because I stole her pills, hit my line. I'm building booby traps at the park for kids to fall into. Big nets that swing up into trees and like big pits with spikes on them. Well, y'all don't understand because y'all smile-minded, white ass.

And I'm in the Empire building, like I catch one kid, I sell that kid. Like I stack that shit. He's doing that shit where it's just like a box with a stick and a piece of candy under it. And he's just sitting on the bench, like rubbing his chin. He's like, Loki, you guys are allergic to taking chances. I'm building an empire.

He's like, I'm gonna be on some Epstein shit. I'm building a statutory empire. I'm gonna have a big island where you can like, fuck bitches at. Like, in the legal. Nobody's parents can get mad at you. Your mama can't get mad at you because she doesn't know where the island is.

But we be in a big Masonic temple, fucking bitches. And you go, are you describing Epstein's island? He's like, I don't know who that is. I don't know what you're talking about the to a house party and I start a big fight and then the cops show up and just blow everybody's brains out. That's what I do. He's the lowest ring of intelligence. He's the lowest guy. Just go to house parties and get the cops calling. Just go to house parties and be like, what the fuck? Why are you fucking bumping me?

And then just like big fight. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It means 80,000 a year to play beer pong and say the N word. Not a bad gig. No, hell no. And then for the ones that's talking down on all all you know black dudes That's crazy to me cuz I ain't gonna lie. I got some some homies that stand up this hill Gonna really you know go crazy for that woman really go hard

So no, I don't know everything gets skin color at the end of the day I'm gonna treat a woman good just do the fact of who I am as a person and got nothing to do with this pink skin, with this fam colored skin. Do you hear me, girl? There's dudes like this all over that just, they take hours to explain the most simple concept and they think they're like street philosophers.

Yeah. They're just like, hey man, like, how do y'all like being real rude lately? And it's the most vague, it's so vague on Twitter, like on the internet. You gotta hold the door open for your woman. What's with this new epidemic of like, fuck man, y'all be like flipping the bird in traffic

when you get upset. I love when they're 22 and they're like, this younger generation gotta all fuck up. They're all fucked up. And there was the other 22, So they're like an old dad. They hang out with high schoolers. Yeah. And they bring it around to the like, if you like you act

and rude is like you like when you check it out, when you buying swishers at a 7-eleven, it's like you got to leave a penny, take a penny, you know, you're just taking a penny. I'm leaving fucking pennies. Whole world like you, we ain't got no more pennies left. Everybody take them. And now they don't even make the penny

No, I don't make pennies no more because y'all y'all black ass Being rude yeah Anyway free chauvin free free free. It was perjury free free my Pee-doo chauvin Don't think that Like y'all all saying like, you know, just like you know, I know it's my preference Yeah, I'll play y'all y'all probably got a preference y'all probably like, you know, tall dudes or you know Some of y'all like big dudes, you know, it's the same thing

Like it's just it's my preference They are kind of like politicians where they're not It's a wigger filibuster, it's a willabuster They are kind of like politicians where they're not expressing any idea whatsoever. It's a Wigger filibuster. It's a willibuster. Because he thinks if he just says this to some real black dudes outside of a barbershop he'll be like, oh man, Cartel Cartier, man, you making me think. Man, you good.

You good. You want to be an unk with us? And he's like, that's what I been saying. I just be like, you know, like, you're so respect and you'll get respect. But you do realize he had a thought that compelled him enough. To get his phone out.

That he got his phone out and his ring line, he put a filter on his face and the whole thing. But that is a core part of being a wigger is you have to appear wise to older black guys. That's a key tenet of it. This guy is a mile down the road from a bikini barista coffee shop that he just assaulted one of the ladies at.

And he's in his car talking about showing, he just tried breaking through the drive-through entrance of a bikini barista shop. To pull her in. To pull her into his truck and rape her. And now he's giving philosophical fucking Patrice advice in his car. That's the thing, these servers be like,

rude as hell now. You can't even pull them in and shit. This younger generation's soft. They're soft, they're soft. It's like, I was gonna put you back he commits a gunicide at the end of the video he blows his head off he's like they did catch me it looks like oh shit it looks like it has gone viral the image of me jacking off at the bikini hut they got my pink dude license

playing on cam this shit got me fucked up I mean I still like we'll finish that we got ten seconds left on this I still don't understand what he's saying. No pink ass girl. I It's okay. Shit somebody is it's just not me, you know but yeah Don't think that though for don't think that just because he pink he gonna treat you good cuz I promise you There's some weirdos out here for a don't matter what's going on Yeah, right Some black women try to get with white men because they think they don't

Is that what he's saying that they're better little betrayed him better. So what is dogging a woman mean? He's like a lot of pink guys. He's like when I was younger man. I was out there dogging women I ain't gonna lie. He's saying like I'm a dog like I fuck you and then like I drop you off I don't know. I fucking you know, I've gotten so exhausted with everything I used to know so much about retarded shit and you know, I'm starting to feel a little old I said there's new terms all the time online shit. It's hard to keep up I mean I can keep you up with stuff But like when it comes to street, like hood, TikTok,

I don't have any idea what that is. But also, his thinking is all over the place. He's using terms that he thinks is a term because he heard a guy at 7-Eleven on heroin use it. No, no, he drank too much lean when he was 12 because he was listening to Lil Wayne and he's like retarded now. Yeah.

Is there more Carto Cartier? Yeah, so he has a thousand videos, it's exactly like this and every single one. It's like the Da Vinci code where you're trying to Like decipher what he said. Oh, dr. The con of man. It's got a good following. I mean look at this He's like, you know just it's insane. Yeah, does he die his beard his beard is like jet black So these guys always are very insecure about their looks. They're always using filters, making their eyes bigger. They're very much like high school girls. They become like Kardashians.

That's what they kind of look like. This is like this whole thing now where it's like black Twitter and fucking Wigger Twitter and Wigger internet and all this fucking, I guess like just like urban, I don't know the word, but that side of the internet, they're like obsessed with dating etiquette and every video is like,

it's like she wanted him to pay for her and her cousins. What y'all think? And they're in an argument or like, it's everything's so meaningless it's all it's all talking about like colorism and like mm-hmm yeah for real would you date a light-skinned bitch and it's like the most beautiful woman you've ever seen and people are like having a discussion about it is like hear me out hear me out I'd date them the best tits in the world

it's like you know Kevin Samuels? The guy that died. He was like a black, I don't really know if he's like a men's rights activist or something, but he died after he got like kinda big. And I think everyone's trying to do a version of him, but he was like a good orator. He was the guy where women would call up

and he'd be like, how much you weigh, baby? And he'd be like, to start with a two, you a fat. Yeah. Yeah exactly. No. He's really like that. He was great I liked him. I mean I had a lot of people fucking hated him, but I thought he was really amusing It's like yeah, he's calling like women like average at best Explaining to broke bitches that they got a suck dick. Yeah, yeah I got it immediately. It's the whole economy of just people like fucking and sucking and like going to like Waffle House and shit. Yeah, look, this video titled 37 year old BBW

with two kids gonna make high value men wait until marriage. I just gotta hear him talk for like a minute. Yeah. Would you watch this channel when he was alive I got into What do you got for me Okay, I have I need some I have some advice. Oh, I'm a 37 year old woman Two children. All right to strike Getting. I do not have a problem getting a man.

It's just I attract weak men. Okay. I am celibate, I've been celibate for two years. What? I've been celibate for two years. What is that? You're old. I wanna know, is that the reason why?

Two people that came out of you what you talking about I'm saying I'm trying to understand what's the what's the philosophy you're on a virgin you got two people came out of you What's going on? Oh, no, you did not Oh, no, you did not have the nerve to bring vagina out here and close it up at 37 years old with two kids So is he gay by the way, no, no, no, he's not gay. Why is he not scared of these black women? vagina out here and close it up at 37 years old with two kids out here. And I'm gonna tell you the reason. So is he gay, by the way? No, I don't think so. No, no, he's not gay. Why is he not scared of these black women?

I'd be terrified on the phone. Because they're not in the room with him. That's terrifying. Yeah. Well, if a black woman told me, oh hell no, you did not just say that to me, I would cower immediately. Yeah, but he's the saintess for his rodeo.

Yeah. He was born around black women, he grew up around black women. He's like Bane. Yeah. He was born around black women. He grew up around black women. He's like Bane. Yeah. He's born in the darkness. He's the black women whisperer. And his show really exists for black women

who are bored to be like, you know what, I wanna like have an argument over the phone. So they call him. Cause like they know what's gonna happen. And they say things like, he gets to say things like that. He's like, you ain't gonna shut that pussy down at 37? He's like, no, you did not. You did not speak to me in that manner. He's like, you ain't gonna shut that pussy down at 37? He's like, no you did not. You did not speak to me in that manner.

You gotta stay open for business. You did not talk about my pussy that way. I'm a beautiful Ebony Ward. Yes. Because he's like, bitch, this is my show. This is what I do. He already knows they've heard the show. Yes.

What are you acting outrage for? You don't think I'm gonna talk to everybody else? Yeah, they're just like, well I'm in line at the bank. I gotta kill a fucking 30 minutes. I'll just shout into my phone at this guy. So it's men agreeing with him and women disagreeing with him. And then the women call in to give him a piece of his mind. I don't really know, but he was like this guy.

He was like a relationship dude. What if the next call is a Cartel Cartier call? He's like, hey, Mr. Samuel, y'all know how I could give black people to respect me? Like that's you. I'm an embarrassment. I don't have a job. Well, Cartel, you should kill yourself. Oh, hell no. You did not just tell me to kill myself, Kevin Samuels. What the fuck? I'm big on TikTok. Kevin Samuels is in a really funny episode of Atlanta and he's denying anybody. It's like a whole, it's an alternate universe where everybody black at the college, he takes over a racist high school

and turns it into a black high school and he says we're gonna give every black person here free scholarship and there's this one kid whose dad's black but he looks like a white guy and he makes him go through this whole day of tests and asking him about black culture and stuff. And then he just laughs at his face and says, no. Wait.

Hehehehehe. And that was Cartier. And that's Cartel Cartier. Cartel Cartier. Wait, by the way, this is his pen TikTok. Look at this. My family knows when I have kids they coming out with melanin.

I've seen a comment about someone talking about I wonder how his family feels about this First off I was raised by my grandma big mom and she know I'm only black queen She know I do not like pigly-colored women You know and I think people need to understand. I don't hate them. I don't like at the end of the day, I will talk to them. I'll have a conversation with them, all that. But as far as like, you know, doing all of that, you know, nah, we not, we're not breeding.

We not finna have kids. We not finna hook up. We not finna do none of that. Like, I'm sorry. That's just, it's not in me. I just can't do it, baby. Like, like I said, you know, get him Josh You know Ryan, you know up the street

shit Hunter, you know hunter down there and you know in the sticks and stuff like that, you know I can't stop laughing at the hat. Yeah, that's so funny to me the hat Yeah, so shittily plays that he has to keep placed like that all the time. Is his head shaped like a peanut? Like all day, yeah. You walk around going like, oh shit, like, fuck, I don't look perfectly retarded.

Damn. Did my hat settle onto my head a little bit? Fuck. The wind blows and the hat sets the way it should on his head. He's like, oh fuck. Oh shit, somebody give me some toothpicks to put my hat on top of my head. It's stilts for the hat.

If this hat touches my skin, I'll fucking kill myself. Oh shit, one of my laces got untucked from my tongue. Pow! Ha ha ha! Shit, I creased my J's. Fuck! I'm gonna go tell Big Mama about, that's why I call my grandma,

because I only know black people from movies. Yeah, why do you call his grandma his baby mom? You know, he called her big mama. Yeah, this is crazy. Yeah He's like I was raised by my grandma big mama, too Equal and her daughter big mama three back to school. Mm-hmm My family knows when I have kids they coming out with Melanie. You wonder if you put a gun to his head Threaten his life, would he start talking? Like Dave Chappelle's like that character.

Right, would he be like normal? Would he sound like a white guy? You think, right? Like in times of crisis he wouldn't. Yeah. Be like shit, don't kill me, fam. Like a girl with like a vocal fryer and affectation. It's like if you're in danger,

if like you're being chased, I imagine you speak up. You're not going, stop. Yeah, don't rape me Like would Dasha speak normally if she was being attacked Like would that be the one time in her life she's like doesn't she's like Stensively you're like about to kill me with a knife and I'm running through Don't kill me I'm Catholic Would you at least finally get some energy and be like, hey, stop, please, don't murder me. I did this to see if you'd do that.

I just wanted to hear your blood. Yeah, exactly. I think these guys, I think they're so washed in the blood on being fake black that I think he would double down. I think he thinks that's who he really is. He's like Serpicoad himself. You know what I'm saying? I just I don't I don't get it But also we all went through phases where we wanted to be black. I guess we didn't fall through with it

No, you're not like I never talked different or anything Yeah, but I used to wear the Celtics Patrice hat and I yeah, you were just trying you knew you looked retarded though You didn't like I thought it was awesome. No, you- Because Patrice was the goat when I was 19 years old. You were trying to get killed by a black person. You thought it was funny. No, I was going with my few friends I still had at two Denny's at like three in the morning. And I'd be like, this is the thing about women.

You were walking into Denny's at three a.m. like, bitch, lemonade. You were sitting down like, see the thing about these young pink bitches is, take a seat yarn Bitch can't get the Rudy to the fresh and fruity. See the thing about these bitches working these type of jobs You a low value bitch Loaded this bitch over here serving me the lumberjacks. I know she's giving me a look like she doesn't deserve this type of talk

It's like bitch you here, but you here if you were a better person you won't be here. Mm-hmm Yeah, I never I never got like that black type of thing I just think these people are supposed to be part of the religious right and they they didn't get there Like isn't this guy just supposed to be just a like a patriot guy. Isn't that what he's really supposed to be? I genuinely think this is what he's supposed to be. I kind of think it's a little beautiful in a way. He might have grown up on a block with only black people. Yeah, I kind of view it as when you see those videos

where it's like this fox grew up with this dog and now they're best friends, I kind of view it like that. And the fox, yeah the fox scratching. It's a Dodo video. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh this fox is scratching its head like a dog. It thinks it's a dog. Yeah, exactly. It's like, oh, this fox is like scratching its head like a dog. It thinks it's a dog. Yeah, it's I think it's the same thing. I think they really this is who they think they are because like guys like

Chet Holmgren, who just won. That's his name, right? Holmgren. Yeah, Holmgren. Yeah. He's a you know about this guy, seven foot player for the thunder. Thunder easily looks like Gumby. Yeah, he's got a hold. He thinks he's black. He acts black completely white, went a 40,000 a year private school growing up but he like glitter he wears like do rags on planes yeah and

they'll shoot like team videos where they're like what's your like what will be your death row meal and he's like he's like he's like candy and candy and gold and the candy yams. Candy yams, gold tea. Yes, 100% serious. And he's been called out nonstop online, and he's still like, they just won the championship. He's like, man, I'm fixing it. That's why you bet on black, bitch. He's like, he's like messy.

He's like, he realizes he's trying to be, he's trying to sound cool so badly, he's actually sounding like a complete retard on stage. And he just goes, at the parade, he's like, hold on, let me lock in. And then everyone laughs, like, that's just Chet being Chet, man. But it's, yeah, it is odd.

Yeah. Because it is a commitment, it's a huge commitment. It's a huge commitment to walk out in public doing this. Yeah. It's a big, it's like, if you start wearing a cape every day and walking out into public being a cape guy, it's a big commitment. You know,

you're walking like almost like out into a crowd and being like, boo me, boo me. I don't care. Kill me. Tear me to pieces. Exactly. Yeah. Put a big target on your back. Yeah. He's walking out on the, he's walking into a black barbershop and being like, you got to tear me to pieces. If you want just every day, like you can't slip up. Yeah. And it's like being in the departed for being a wigger. Like you're Leo. My hand does not fucking shake.

When I'm throwing dice, my hand does not shake. Heavy wears the Jordans. Yes, I think it's a full commitment. Yeah, you drink Chikoolade instead of cranberry juice. Oh, 100%. Yeah. But yeah. Play one more video of Cartel Cartier,

because I guarantee this guy also has one rap song where he says where he lives and stuff in it. Sure, and I want to move on, too. 1400, six or more. I've really been confused about the identity of people, especially because the whole culture war is really over identity. At the end of the day, that's what it is.

I'm in this group, you're in that group, let's go to war. I found a video of like, we'll get to it in a second. We'll get to it in a second. Let's play one more. One more Cartier, 91334 Oak Ridge Avenue. Come to my house, do something. Y'all come out, come kill me. Kill me.

Yo, I'm in my big mama's house. She died a year ago. I'm lying to the government about it. Collecting her social security. His whole thing is pink women. Pick a thumbnail based off of, you know, just all the retarded This one looks like he's really deep in thought but it's 900 likes So the incoherent ones people probably just click off of immediately. Can we see the videos? He liked is that an option as well?

right there Like to the left here that he likes. Oh, no, it's private private I was hoping we saw some really black shit this is what he reposts yeah daily affirmations from a black dude in front of a mic yeah yeah a man that wants you will make room for you it's just it's all the relationship bullshit it's all it's all that type of dating it's like it's like listen ladies sometimes it's fun to go to the club with your man it's okay if some bitches ladies, sometimes it's fun to go to the club with your man. It's OK if some bitches on stage double caked up working on you because you got respect for you as an angel queen. See, we are just in the lion king.

See, ladies, what you got to understand is cool if we cheat, but it sucks if you do. Go to you go to one with one with like, under viewed. Under viewed? Let's do this one. Look, there be dudes out here. Why is that so funny? I don't know. All the comments are like, preach!

Look. Love this. If y'all don't listen to, yeah. What's the comment say? Preach! That comment from Natasha Finley, if y'all don't listen to yeah, what's the comment say that comment from Natasha Finley? If y'all don't listen to and then it just cuts off She didn't even finish it. She got like a stroke and died. I

Just his beard is like Santa black. Yeah, he looks like Billy Mays Who's out here that be thinking every woman trying to use them for some money? They'd be thinking every woman trying to use them for some money on and they don't even get What? I'm saying they're not actually copying black now. They've invented he's trying to make up words. Yeah. Yeah money, I Love this. Thanks. I know that really sucks my ass. I mean he's got he's got a Ralph Lauren neck tattoo by the way Does he really he's got the polo horse. Yeah, he does.

That's some delusional ass shit. Shit. You taking a woman on a date does not mean that she trying to use you. Why is he getting so angry? Her asking you to have the bare minimum is not her trying to use you. A motherfucker don't want to fuck with a bum, you feel me?

Mm-hmm. Like, get that shit to your head. I'm all fucker don't want to fuck with a bum you feel me like Get that shit to your head Y'all be over here thinking. Oh, yeah, I'm over to be asking for too much Like damn like she does a ask you to take her on a date Simple shit damn. He's kind of like a, he's a white. Shit! Did you hear the shit? Fuck! Shit! Shit!

Hey, you doing a? Fuck! He's kind of like a wigger white knight. Yeah, he is. He's like, yeah, he's like a feminist. He's like, vote for Kamala, bitch! Fuck! Fuck!

Ain't no one ever love you like your mama. And what gender your mama? A female, a female, a female mama man. Yeah, your mama's a bitch. Respect bitches. I legitimately need help on this next video here. Deciphering what it means. I'm not, I'm coming into this with nothing.

I don't know what an Israeli is. I don't get it. I thought, these people to me look Iranian. Devin, you can help me out here. Oh, this is not the, this is not Cartel Cartier. No, no, no, I'm moving on from that now. This is an Israeli? This is a message that Israelis were sending to Iranians.

Which Israelis are kind of Jewish wiggers. Yes, Israelis are Arab wiggers. This is what I'm saying. These people, there's so many people with confused identities and I think it causes like so much suffering suffering like deep within themselves Yeah, that they don't act like the thing they come out of their ancestry is from Poland and they're like like Love sand so much I love sand so much. Oh my God, I had 40 melanomas removed this month.

This is the homeland. I look like when you leave a potato in the cupboard for a while. I am supposed to be here. Is it true like a thousand years ago, a lot of Ashkenazi's actually converted, so they're not even the original tribes of Israel, like you can't trace them back.

Probably, I have no idea. So a lot of this is somewhat, I understand it's a diaspora and bad things have happened to them, but this looks like Iranians to me. I don't get it. It's like when I see, you know what it is? It's like Pakistan and India fighting

where I'm like, I got it. I can't tell who's who. Yeah, what is that? You're punching yourself in a mirror, like what's happening? I don't get it. Yeah. I don't get it. I, I don't get I understand

They're vastly different places. I don't but are they Yeah, are they vastly different kind of like, you know like an ampm and like One as I see the other I have slurpees Well, they have the polar cup. Yeah supposedly keeps your slushy frozen all day This doesn't make and by the way, I know I have a racial blind spot you guys fill in the blanks for me here I'm so confused We asked Israelis if you sat down with an Iranian down with an Iranian, what would you say? I would say one on one with an Iranian citizen.

We live only once. Okay, so first of all, have you guys heard all of the, I didn't switch the camera yet. Did you guys hear all the different accents here? Just right off the bat? Yeah, I also like that their buildings in Israel just look like Epstein's temple. Like they're not even hiding anything. Look, this is a white guy at a frat party that's about to play. Wearing a shirt that is harder wall yeah yeah yeah this woman her this is this

yeah that's those are two Mexican people if I was sitting one-on-one with an Iranian citizen this is what I would say to my Iranians friends we are with you we want peace the war is not with you guys it's with the regime we live only one and that lady was like British every accent is completely different from the other yeah completely yeah this is like an eastern European old bitch right here how am I supposed to know all these people are Israeli like actually help me out I don't get it Well, they're crying for the death of innocence

If you had one message to Iranians, what would it be you're gonna fry bitch American and we just hope that day will come. American. Yep, that's an American. We can have a direct flight from here to Tehran. I hope that one day we can get lunch in Tel Aviv. American. This fucking guy.

Yeah, that guy's from Redondo Beach. That's insane. Come on, man. He looks like he's in 90210. Yeah, that's a lacrosse player. That's literally like a Matt Damon guy. That guy's supposed to be raping women at prom right now. Not in fucking Israel pretending to be, you know.

Putting on the little hat. What is that bullshit hat? It looks like a fry holder from Shake Shack that he put on his head. He kinda mushed the top a little bit. It's close enough, who gives a fuck, it's close enough. It looks like it's from one of those burger places where they stamp your bun with their logo.

When I saw that guy, I was like, fuck it, put me in it. Yeah, we should be in it. Why are me, Devin, and Jace? He's not. It cuts to like that guy, I was like, fuck it, put me in the video. Why are me, Devon, and Jace? Who's not? It cuts to like Bun B is like, yo, Aron, we with you. Who is an Israeli? Now I realize that I can say I'm Israeli

and people have to believe me based on this video. We all can. Hello, Gov. I'm from Jerusalem. We gon' bomb you, innit? Bomb you, innit? It's ridiculous in it. It's ridiculous. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Is it not ridiculous?

Yeah. Do these people even speak Hebrew? Well, I mean, yeah, there's that famous gold in my air quote where she's like, like we created Israel because we had nowhere else to go. It's like you're from fucking Minnesota or whatever. Like you lived in America. She was a school teacher. Yeah, no, you lived in a...

Who's Philly? Yeah, Philly. Yeah. I mean, he was born in Tel Aviv or whatever. But we kind of sold them on their Marvel origin story. We're like, just sit here, we're gonna just pretend you're a city and we're gonna use you as a military base.

And one day you will take over our government from the inside. But yeah, pretend you guys you will take over our government from the inside. But yeah, pretend you guys have a real thing on. We want you to have what this is, which is freedom. English. Peace, democracy, and hopefully. They all wear really dorky, big glasses.

We love you. To add, to try to be like, well that's like, that's like the flat brim hat of an Israeli. These dorky glasses. Big glasses that make you kind of seem really Jewish. You couldn't do the Holocaust if you had big glasses, right? Yeah. I guess you're right.

It makes me feel like it's a Freemasons thing, where it's like, can anyone just join? And I don't know how to sign up. Are these actually the 12 tribes of Israel? Is this all real? I understand it's a real place. I just know I don't get it. The 12 tribes of Israel, Mekala, Kelsey, Kaley, Beta Kappa Phi, Sigma Nu, Philip, Josh, Brad. I'm actually this is

rush week in Israel you had to become Jewish in Israel you have to carry a cherry across the room in your ass and drop it in a beer glass. Make another one. 2025. Make another revolution in your country and become peaceful. Become freedom. Become free country. Are they saying overthrow your government? Yeah. That's their advice? They're going to cause massive civil unrest that kills millions. Do it.

Yeah. So we can walk in that. I'd buy you, my parents are both born in Iran. This is not obviously a war on you. This is a war. So his parents are both born in Iran. I guess he's part Jewish too. But he sounds American too, doesn't he?

There's Persian Jews, I guess. Doesn't he sound American? Yeah, he totally is. Yeah, yeah. That guy found it, Ike's Lovin' Sandwiches. This guy's a Beverly Hills guy. He's,ke's love and sandwiches. He's a Beverly Hills guy. Yeah, he's He's that Earth Cafe. He has a soccer truck What is this thought what is this nonsense he goes, you know, he treats Israel like it's AC

He's like going to Atlantic City This is just their vacation home, is Israel. Yeah. That's what it is, right? Yeah. It's their Nantucket, Martin's Vineyard. Pretty much. Can we call it what it is at this point?

That's what it feels like. It's a big... Yeah, when a guy's going like, both of my parents were born in Iran, I have a lot of Iranian friends, but I am a Jewish man from Israel. Everybody sounds like they're full of shit in this. Are both born in Iran. This is not obviously a war on you. This is a war against the Iranian regime. I hope that one day we all can live together in peace like the old days. That does that not sound Russian to you? Like Eastern? No I have a theory that also a lot of them if they

kind of they know they don't want to speak like English or like you know UK-ish they kind of invent this fake, like, accent. Like, it's from a Eastern European country that doesn't exist. So like, well, I'm here in Israel? Like that type of thing. They have that, yeah. Got it.

Like an actor in a shitty B-action movie. Yeah. That's a villain. We all can live together in peace. Like Egyptian black. Which guy? Right after the... It's like the old days.

In the name of God, we will meet soon in love, in peace, and in peace. That guy... That guy's being scouted by a Dominican baseball scout right now. That guy is in Brockhampton. That's... That's...

That's... That's... That's... That's... That is Native American themed fucking knapsack on him. Mm-hmm. Stop with the violence, stop with the hate. Your song sucks shit.

They will always be and proud to be under the same sun. Sing a song of freedom like one day, one day. Let's do something in memory of David Newman. Yeah, and I have soldier who. Yeah, I don't know who David Newman is. He has the most confirmed rapes in the idea. But in Palestine, he's known as the Butcher of Israel. He built an Iron Man mech suit and just went to fucking town.

He built a mech suit with a dick on it and just started raping. OK, I was just making sure. I might show that to you guys and you guys are like, no, this is just what it is. It's very normal. No, I think it's a crossover. It's the same as the Wigger guy, as Cartel Cartier. Have you seen those videos where somebody just goes to

Israel and just asks people on the street, what do they think of Palestine and stuff? Completely normal people, people that look like NYU students and shit, and they're shaped like SpongeBob, and they probably love the show girls, and they'll just ask them about Palestinian people, and they'll be like, they need to go. They should all die.

You need to turn it into glass. They just look at the camera and go, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof, poof. I mean, obviously, those are heavily edited in favor of, I guess, the pro-Palestinian side. Sure. It is interesting. Whatever.

It's whatever. Apparently, the war is over. The war is over. It's the time for peace. The war is over. It's whatever apparently the war is over the war is over it's time for peace the war is over it's time for peace Ben wars over I can't wait for the ticker tape parade yeah I was confused as hell on that I thought like Cartier cartel might show up in that video at one point just like freestyle rapping over the guy playing guitar it's like it's like what you gotta do is I when I was a kid like I get in trouble like I'll be stealing cookies and I got spanking but if I try to not

get spank I get like two spankings. That's what Palestine's doing right now. They took a cookie for the second motherfucking time. Like just take your spanking and it's like fucking over with. Palestine y'all want seconds? Now want timeout what you want cookie? You know by the way, you know what I was listening to on the way over here Erica and I Am Devon's quick whoo shot from the hip you didn't even get the gun out of a tolster you shot me through the leather I shot myself I Was listening to I think Louie Theroux has like the best pocket he says it's Louie Theroux I've heard him say that Yeah, Justin Theroux is his cousin by the way. Yeah, but they pronounce it differently. They pronounce it differently

Yeah, I didn't know they relate related. Did you know that but regardless he was interviewing Willem Dafoe about the last temptation of Christ. I don't think I think you hate that movie. Jace You haven't seen it. I've never seen it think you hate that movie. Jase you haven't seen it I've never seen it now you hate it Willem the I've never seen the last temptation You hate the Jesus movies you said even though Scorsese made one. Yeah, I don't I don't care. I think I don't like it It's just that's a by just it's a boring story to me. Okay, well you haven't given it a chance, but regardless the really Regardless the religious Story I don't know they beat the shit out of it. I was just wanted to say that about the most famous story.

What's the story about? I don't know, they beat the shit out of him. I mean, Passion of the Christ is saw. Yeah. It is just saw with Jesus. With Jews. But it's in Israel, technically. Yeah.

I've never seen guys, very quickly, I've never seen Passion of the Christ. There are like, just shots of like, the most Jewish looking people of all time in it, right? I think so, I mean, I saw it in school, they made me watch it in school. Yeah. I just remember like, the last I think so, I mean, I saw it in school, they made me watch it in school. Yeah. I just remember like the last hour,

it's just a beating, it's just the full, it's just the never ending beating. You like UFC. I don't like anything- You know what I mean? Patty Pembroke comes in, puts Jesus in a headline. I really don't like anything set in those times, I don't care. I even gladiator, I'm like, I'm all right,

this is pretty interesting, but there's something about- Yeah. That era that I- Oh, fuck you guys, you love Apocaly'm like, I'm all right. This is kind of also not. Yeah, that that you love. You love apocalypto. There's something older. Apocalypto is completely different. Apocalypto is different. Apocalypto is like the like the 1550s or whatever. This is like the year.

But these were like uncontacted tribes basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's but it's apocalypto. This was a civilization. I just every time I see one of those movies, I just imagine an actor getting dressed in a big fucking Roman thing. It just feels like such a fucking fake movie every time I see it.

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I'll give you that one. But regardless, Louis Thoreau talked to Willem Dafoe, because I haven't seen it, I didn't know Scorsese made it. Did you know the religious right? They were so mad

about the movie they were burning down movie theaters because of the Scorsese's depiction of Christ in it. They tried to show like the human side of Christ like is apparently he's lustful in it. That's the big I know the plot of it I've never seen it but he renounces God yeah and gets off the cross and basically it goes and lives a life and spoiler alert, basically at the end of the movie it's revealed that was all a test and he rejects it and then it's him back on the cross. People were, they thought it was insensitive

that Jump and Jack Flash started playing. And he gets off the cross. Yeah, when Jesus said, that's the thing about the ends, they never tell you. You can't take 40 pieces of silver, it's gotta be given to you. That's the thing that the black chappies just don't understand.

Yeah, Gimme Shelters blaring the entire movie. Remind him! It's kinda hilarious that Scorsese has all these movies where people are getting their heads caught off, dragged behind trucks, buried in corn fields, their heads are put in vices, their eyeballs are popping out. No cry from any of the religious groups.

No, none of that. Joe Pesci plays Pontius Pilate. He's like, listen here, you Jew motherfucker, you. We're gonna put a nail in each one of your fucking palms. You fucking King of the Jews motherfucker. Now I wanna see De Niro as Jesus. Yeah. Just up on the cross, like, doing the De Niro face.

Pontius, you can't just come in here and act like that. That's pretty good. Yeah, and I don't do cross like doing the dinner. I just you can't you can't just come in here That's pretty good Kind of hurts can't breathe that well It's your breeze put a sponge can you stick lift it up so I can somebody give me a little vinegar on a sponge I say go Mary. Can I see your tits? Mary show me your tits come on. I'm dying come on Jesus. I'm son of God show me this the cross Show me your tits. Come on. I'm dying. Come on. Jesus. I'm the son of God. Show me tits Little bit show me tits. I'm Jewish. I'm Jewish. It's me. I'm the son of God Show me

Cuz I'm God Fuck suck my dick right now. You're going to hell So apparently a semi truck someone drove a semi truck into a theater. Willem Dafoe was saying, OK, people also lit a theater movie theater on fire and think it was the UK and people almost died. Seven people had severe burn injuries. This is when the religious right was really, I guess, sort of more boots on the ground.

With that stuff. Same thing happened for one of Amy Schumer's movies just because it sucked so much ass. People were breaking into the theater and murdering. Well, they were putting viewers out of their misery. Imagine there are people in this world who saw LeBron act very badly and then got their head blown off

Is that I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay, take it back But just you just see like a Romney like did you you can get the bill this time right and then head explodes People were having to get their bags checked before they went in movie theaters because they were afraid of the religious right doing more terrorist attacks. Almost all the theaters pulled the movie and it worked because they were scared. Yeah, that was the Reagan years too. AIDS really gave the Christian right a real boost.

They thought they were like, hey God just sent a plague to kill all these fags. We're obviously the good guys here. So Christianity's dead in this country because that doesn't happen anymore. I know, it's a big revival. It's really come back in a big way Yeah, but not with the conviction that the apparently was like the Catholics that were most upset about it Well Catholics love blowing shit up. I mean look at the Irish you know

Yeah, I guess you're right. They'll protest by blowing up by like a preschool. I'm just saying goddamn it We used to be Muslims too. Yeah whites used to be damn terrorists What happened whatever happened? You know all these guys they wanted to look better than Muslims a lot of the mass shootings unfortunately They're secular. They don't never do it in the name of Jesus Christ. I know It's a damn shame They never you never see is the scene of the crime with the guy in the clock tower and his rifle where he fired and you Never see a holy Bible night. What happened to this fucking country? You know people used to kill in the name of the Lord It's too secular now, and I think it's kind of ruined everything yeah like all these people like George Bush is from Connecticut

He's like a fake cowboy. He doesn't know anything about the Bible. He just paints brown people He's not a real Christian, and I think if we got real Christians back in power with like real Christian and I think if we got real Christians back in power with like Some boots on the you know, some nice shiny black cowboy boot a Bible in someone's back pocket. We need like a Gideon It's it's it's funny now because now you have you have a lot of fake Christians like Ted Cruz being like well You know Israel's in the Bible which I give a shit about you know, not lying You can't quote the verse you can't quote the verse and then you have like, you know Trump's holding up a Bible like it's a fuck like it's future holding up his son that he never sees And then but the people like Mike Huckabee is like we will we'll make the sky burn red in Israel

We will make we will make Palestine a fucking geodesic dome. Unfortunately, the country is too secular. I believe this is something I've been thinking about on the way over here. It's just it's just a damn shame Now you could put out a movie where Jesus is probably sucking and fucking and no one would care You know what I mean? No one's no one's processing the porn. No one's protesting any of this stuff Every once in a while though. I will say you do get someone blowing up a planned parenthood and I go People are out there and they still believe in the good word. We're still out here. Yeah, yeah still representing I've always said about American politics,

we need more fervor. We need more unbridled fervor. Yeah. Not enough. It just seems like Christians were ramping up to do their own 9-11. Yeah. There are a bunch of, I was talking with my friend,

Aaron, about this, where we're an interesting country in that we feel bad for all the killing we do, and yet we kill anyway. And then we come back from war, and we're like pretty distraught about it. And then other countries are countries are like no I was a god on the field. I killed everybody. I'm so proud I die with honor. I go to fake heaven. I believe in it's fine. Don't worry our soldiers come back They have to start going to like support groups. They're huge pussies usually about stuff The government doesn't support them

I've always said that about soldiers. No, you should come back from war and be like, no, I killed as many as I could over there. Mm hmm. I there's there's one point five billion Muslims in the world. And God damn it, I took out two to three hundred. You see this necklace of eyes that's from all the people I killed. Where's the proud American warriors? Where are those guys? We don't have anything to really show.

They've been to it's been war. It's bullshit. It's been disillusionment war after the next. So the- Vietnam and then Iraq and- We had too many fake wars in a row. Yeah, that's why even the right is like, no, stop. Yeah, no war. Stop, stop with these wars. They saw like, you know, what it did to every- to their, you know, their sons and shit.

There just used to be conviction, you know their sons and shit there just used to be conviction You know we used to we used to be somebody yeah white terrorism. You know fucking That's what terrorists. That's what terrorists used to mean. It was like you know okay? See bombers and shit like that It was like neo-nazi guys that was those were terrorists people know where to like which outrage to focus on and then commit a crime Over anymore. Yeah, it's too spread That was those were tears people know where to like which outrage to focus on and then commit a crime over anymore Yeah, it's too spread If you're you know, you could like forget what you were about to become a terrorist over as you're scrolling and be like that pisses me Off to you realize when you read Luigi Mangione's letter from prison you realize that

He's a retard and he got lucky with doing the right quote unquote attacking the right thing Yeah, he didn't walk into a supermarket and start killing people. He called attention to a specific need in this country. But then you read his thing from prison and he's like, I'm reading Patrick Bette David's memoir, it's really good. You go, oh, you're an idiot. You're a complete fucking moron.

He just got lucky. He could have gone the other way and blew up a children's hospital and it's like, well, this doesn't help the cause at all. It's like the white guys who are protesting ICE in downtown LA and they're just physically stopping black people from going to their jobs. That's helping at all, you know what I mean?

They're never focused in the right area, ever, ever. It's all misguided. But that's why you need the holy text. Thank And I think actually maybe we should make the next Christ movie. I think we can make a damn good one I think Devon could play a damn good Jesus actually should he be sucking and fucking in it um Is that what does that the direction I think Devon should be I think we should do Jesus, but he's like a townie Okay. Yeah, he's like a drunk. Yeah, Nazareth by the sea He's at a bar and they're like we're all out of booze and he's just like I just shake something

It's fucking wine you Todd's Keep getting hammered. I mean while he's yeah, his children are burning are burning alive in a cave he left unattended. At the end of the movie he goes, I'm Jesus by the way. Yeah, I'm fucking Jesus. His family dies and then he's in the police station. He tries to grab a nail and put it through his hand really quick. Through his stigmata.

Yeah, they're like, he's got a nail, nail! Putting himself up on the cross. I'm sanding a bar stool the entire movie To have a python yeah Nah, that's a thing that's Charlestown, you know, they'll fucking like they'll fucking crucify you out here no But for all the retarded people clearly I was joking for the last 10 minutes And any other minutes you got mad at? joking for the last 10 minutes.

And any other minutes you got mad at. Anything you ever get mad at I didn't mean. Does Ben really think that there needs to be more white terrorism? I mean he does not think about history. You do think that though. Yeah I do think that. Yeah I remember we were upstairs before we started and you were like I love white terrorism.

I was thinking about that though. I was like people did used to care enough that they drive like trucks into things. Well they still do, yeah it's just you know. Do you not covet like these other religions that are willing to die for their own religion? No, I think they're retarded. I think they're severely retarded.

Yeah, that's idiotic. I don't, I'm not jealous of being a retard in the sand. Sorry. They're not raising iPad babies, I'll say that. Yeah, because their babies are being strapped to iPads and then exploded. So we win again. We've got AC, you don't, fucking UK.

They're treating their babies like angry birds and launching them. And a bunch of pigs. Every Jewish kid I know, they can play nine instruments and stuff. They're all, it's a completely different thing. Mm-hmm. And then the white kids I know, they just, you know,

if Coco-Mellon starts playing, their eyes spin into the back of their head like the actress' girl, and they start vomiting on the ground. Yeah, no, we're gonna see five-year-olds in casinos pretty soon, just hitting slot machines around like centipedes Just hitting the fucking Big Bang Theory slot machine until fucking bloods coming out of their eyes and they're like shaking Shitting themselves. Just trying to crawl into the TV like the girl from the ring

It's just dopamine stacking that the TV like the girl from the ring the colors aren't bright and fast enough I'm gonna die It's just dopamine stacking that we're gonna develop like a type of like photosynthesis that comes from like flashing screens Yeah, you gotta get blue light and produce oxygen if I don't have blue light. I'll die. Hey You get your wish finally cuz everyone could be blue exactly just like the meme we do One could be blue exactly just like the meme we do Just like the beautiful meme we do what a nice beautiful button at the end of the episode great a great beautiful button Patreon.com slash lemon party. Thank you guys for watching as always Devin is red Jase is blue Damn, right. I'm in the middle forget No, you fucking forget that and limit party.life because we're coming to Seattle, Portland and uh...

Yeah we're gonna shoot Ben up like a horse on its last legs and go one more tour. San Francisco. We're gonna resurrect the statue of Harvey Milk. That Roxane Gay accidentally backed over. With her ass. And got pushed into the ocean Roxanne yeah, Roxanne gay Roxanne gay fell over in the Harvey milk statue. Do they have a Harvey milk statue? They got to have one right? Yeah, they do She tried it she tried to drink it

She thought it was milk Because she's fat because she's fat because she's a big fat So because she's a big fat stupid bitch I didn't try to drink it I didn't realize that guy was a mayor and I'll never see that movie he wasn't I thought he was the first gay San Francisco city councilman city councilman yeah yeah and he got he was a he would have maybe been at one point maybe but he was shot by Josh Brolin I was listening to Louis Thoreau and I thought he said he was the first gay mayor of San Francisco. Oh maybe. I'm gonna be in. No no no he wasn't. He was a

city councilman. But then he was yeah he was shot by a guy that had too many Twinkies. Yeah. It was not politically or it wasn't motivated on. Someone killed him. Yeah Diane Feinstein. He was killed by Dan. Whatever his name. Diane Feinstein was the one who announced it. She might have been the mayor at the time. That old bitch who just died, you remember her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How'd they kill her? Or how'd they kill him?

Oh, but the killer killed the mayor and Harvey. Ah, but no one cares about the mayor because the mayor wasn't gay. Right. Well, they didn't make a movie about the mayor. That kinda sucks. That's where the Twinkie defense comes from is that the guy claimed he was very depressed, evident by he was eating a lot of Twinkies when he was a health nut previously

Yeah, that's why I fucked up his brain chemistry. Yeah, interesting They call it a phallic excuse there for killing a gay guy. They call it the Twinkie defense Also kind of a gay excuse. Yeah, like I had the Twinkie. I had to make Twinkie is like Yeah thing named Twinkie full of cream full of full of cream Devon that's what I mean. It's like phallic. It's me yellow Yeah thing named Twinkie full of cream full of cheese full of cream Devon. That's right, dude Wow, we busted this thing all the way all the way open I have to know did he shoot Harvey milk in the head or the one in the gun like Lee Harvey? I'll tell the back of the head. I think he shot him in the back of the head at least That's what the movie he shoots him like in the arm in the movie

And then and then Harvey like looks out the window at like the Opera House, and then he shoots him in the back of the head at least that's what the movie he shoots him like in the arm in the movie and then and Then Harvey like looks out the window at like the Opera House, and then he shoots him in the head Yeah, he's at the opera There's like a scene like shortly before he dies where he goes to the opera so he killed him like John Wold's booth style Seemingly kind of yeah, it was an app opera. He's just looking at an opera house. Sounds like the movie sucks ass That's good. It's a good movie. Yeah, I liked it. No, it's Sean Penn is a revelation Interestingly you two refused to watch a movie about Jesus, but you will watch one about Harvey Milk Instead in the you can't you can't wait to defend the Harvey Milk movie

That's true Maybe if Jesus was gay you'd both convert you fucking lib lib fags Hmm. I don't care for that type of talk You shouldn't talk. I mean Jesus like that like didn't like does he even get pussy Then he got put he wasn't he wasn't a dog He wasn't a dog Cartier here like did Jesus even fuck no, I'm the 13th disciple talking about Jesus getting dog pussy I'm the 13th apostle. Yo fuck 12

Check out this tattoo. I got a horsepower all this polo on I got a horsepower Cartel Cartier thinks fuck 12 literally means like the age of a child All right, we gotta go Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? To take the power of the universe? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? To take the power of the universe? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough?

Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough?

Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough to take the blame for this?

Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough to take the blame for this? Are you man enough to take the blame for this? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Are you man enough to take the blame for this? Are you man enough? Are you man enough? Ooh, are you man enough?

Are you man enough to take the blame for this? Are you man enough? Ooh, are you man enough? Are you man enough to take the blame by then? Are you man enough to take the blame by then?