lemonparty - 143: Gone Fishin'

Episode Date: July 22, 2025

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Hey buddy. What's up? God, I hate that shirt. Why don't you take a seat? Sit down. Okay. Me and Devin, we wanted to say a couple things. It's kind of like an intervention. So just wait till the end and don't take any of this personally because it comes from a place of love. But me and Devin have decided you're really bad on the show and we're going to take all the Patreon money from now on. Right? Exactly. That's exactly it. Okay. Right? Exactly. That's exactly it. Okay. Listen, you don't need to go back home.

Katie doesn't want to see you anymore. Me and Devon, we've got it. The kids are taken care of. You're going to have to find your own place. I don't know what money you're going to use, but you'll figure it out. And your kids, you're never going to see them again, but they'll be okay. Your kids are taken care of. I don't want you to worry about that aspect at all. We're a family here. Your little your

little boy, he's fine. I got him in a room. What kind of room is it? Is it a good room? At the end of the day, he'll be fine. I think it'll be good for him. No skin cancer, because he's never in the sun. And we also found Katie a much better husband. He's 6'8", black, and... Very black. Man, he's Jewish.

He tuned into the livestream once, and he decided that the greatest payback there could be would be to have sex with your wife for the rest of your life. Do you still get to keep the hate watch money? Don't pocket watch me motherfucker. Yeah, so you should kind of fucked up, you brought that up. Get your hand out of my fucking pocket. What an insane thing to say. You know, we were on the Reddit the other day. It's the funniest

thing. And, you know, a guy at gay Hitler was his profile handle, he posted a thing about how you're dragging us down, and you don't really contribute anything. And you know, you're very anti semitic, and it's making everybody uncomfortable. So we decided it would be best to just move this direction going forward because it got like 12 up votes. So we feel like the people have kind of voted. 12 up votes.

Do you guys still want me to work on the show? You're editing this sketch right now, yeah. But you just won't be paid for it anymore. We've also been talking, we think maybe we should like mute you on the show like kind of lower your just kind of take the volume on your mic down all the way to zero. I'd probably do that too if I had to work with me. You have to do all the work still um you just won't get paid for it that's all. No it's okay shows usually end this way for me so I kind of saw this coming but

you've got you're gonna have plenty of saw this coming. But you got, you're gonna have plenty of time to upload it because you're not gonna see your family anymore. So it's a it's a win win. I love you guys. You're my only friends. Everybody in my life has been distancing themselves from me and mostly due to Mostly due to comments and upvotes. So we're taking everything from you, buddy. And, um, that's about it. Yeah, but we're gonna be down in a couple hours, so go get the mics ready, okay?

And then I started painting houses. Myself. I started painting houses myself. I wish we could do that to Ben. Sam. Chicken wings, chicken wings, chicken wings, chicken wings Yeah you like my outfit, don't even make the deal I thought you said you had some girl on the light beam Always in my face, talking, listening Girl I had the best of me

What's going on Ben? I think I'm gonna, I've been somewhat dissatisfied with the camera. Oh, you know what? I've been thinking the same. It's much closer. Yeah, it's good. It is better. Yeah Yeah, it's good It's great right it's like it's like you that just changed everything Yeah, yeah really brings the set together Would you move you moved it like to the left I took the tripod and I kind of just moved it up there See see I remember how it was kind of yeah slightly more

No, this is the stuff legends are made This is we're gonna have next episode's gonna have like 80,000 views on it. We skyrocket. Top comment like, love the camera angle. Great angle on the show. It's good to be here everybody. Come out by the way, if you're listening to this this week will be in Portland San Francisco Seattle Seattle is the first city Seattle is the first city. I think I said them all backwards Yeah, Wednesday, we're on Seattle at Thursday. We're going to be in Seattle Friday. We're important Wednesday Wednesday

Seattle see our Thursday the day. Seattle. Thursday is. The day we land. Yeah. Thursday is Portland. Portland. Yeah. Saturday is San Francisco. So we have a day to where we're driving down to. San Francisco.

To Frisco. I like to call it Frisco because it pisses everyone that's from there off. That really sucks. It sucks ass. Yeah, I hate that. We're going down to Frisco. Love Frisco.

Nice. They don't like it when you say SF either. I don't care what they think. Yeah. It's not a real city anymore. They don't like it when you say SF either. I don't care what they think. Yeah. It's not a real city anymore. They don't like a lot of things that people call that down. Yeah. There's a lot of words.

Mm-hmm. Fact city. A lot of. Fruit town. Fruit town. I love, I love Frisco, I really do. But they have an attitude, they call themselves the city. Best looking city with the worst people in it. Yeah, it's a great combo

Yes, it's a fucking amazing city, but also from it There's aerial shots of it it kind of does look like a bunch of favelas like it's an odd like from a from afar The the homes like from up top it looks like those shots of like Venezuela You look you got kind of a horrible skyline. It kind of looks like complete shit. Yeah, it's got the nice old buildings on the top of the hill. And then it kind of descends into bullshit. And then once you get to the west coast,

that little beach area, it might as well be Brighton Beach. It's basically nothing. But I love it, it's a great place. We're not even in San Francisco, by the way. You should tell people we're in Mill Valley. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I think we're gonna be where they do the French laundry

or some bullshit. Yeah, I think we're... I go where our agent tells us to go. Our agent, yeah. Aesthetically, our agent. It is, that's true. Why you laugh? I don't know, it just sounds funny

and it doesn't sound like something we should have. No, Devan, she's got a... We have an agent? She's got a Jewish last name. She's good. We're big on Spotify, by the way. Our views are wet. I should tell people how many views we're getting on Spotify. Hold on, don't say it yet.

I gotta say, I thought we were going nowhere bums up until you showed me those Spotify numbers. I go, oh, I kept wondering, because it feels when you're out. Yes. I don't know. People have mentioned it to me enough times in just the general public, where I'm like, oh, shit. Are we making any impact?

But it seems like you are. But then you go, but how? It's like it's only 20,000 on YouTube, and no one likes us online. No one ever shares anything we've ever done. People actually go out of their way if we accidentally come up in conversation. People completely ignore it.

They immediately bring up something unrelated to shift the conversation. Yeah, but then I saw those damn Spotify numbers and I go, oh, it's all on here. It's big Spotify. I don't want to brag, Devin, one of the Spotify executives wants to sign us up for the partner program. She emailed us, I've emailed her three times, she's yet to email me back, but there was some interest initially

She just emailed you back. She did just email me tell her that I will kill Neil Young if she wants We'll either will either kill him or get them back. Who knows? I didn't even know Spotify. I always just looked at Apple pods. But Spotify, we have way more ratings. Apple's out. We have way more everything. Apple's done.

We got to scroll down right now if you're listening on Spotify. Leave a comment. You can comment below the Spotify video. Comment's on this thing. I love Spotify. We are a Spotify only podcast. Everybody knows that. Even though the audio quality of Spotify

is much worse than Apple. And they fuck over every single artist they work with. Yeah, with Apple you can do lossless audio. Did you guys know that? Was that? I don't know. Lossless audio. What you just said.

I learned that from Redbar. You can go on Apple Music, you can click lossless where it's not compressed, where it's easier for them to get it to you, even though you're paying the same amount of money So you can listen like crystal clear in the car Mmm, I get it get it going really nice Spotify. You can't do that. No, you can't you can't Apple music is better in that regard Yeah, people that listen to music on Spotify. I have a lower opinion of for some strange reason. I don't really know

It's like an aesthetic thing Well, they do it for the lists. Yeah year end lists, that's why you do it. Yeah. So you can have the graphic pop up and be like, you're a goth, gal boys, surfer music guy. Right, right. That bullshit they make up and then you share it on, everybody shares it on Instagram,

it pretends that we matter at all. Yeah, that I care. Yeah, they're like taste makers. Yeah. They're like, I've been really getting into this massively famous person this year. Everyone check this hugely famous person out. Congrats, you just started listening to Radiohead.

Guys, I've been listening to somebody called Charlie XCX this last year, yeah. I didn't even know, how do you upload the video on Spotify, Ben? I had no idea about this. Where is it? I can't find it, but do you upload the video on Spotify, Ben? I had no idea about this. Where is it? I can't find it, but I've seen it, I've heard rumors. I can't hear it.

I've heard rumors that the- I figured if people can't hear the show, at least they can now see it. They can see it, yeah. That's what I- We're a silent podcast. That's why people were asking for video from the beginning. Welcome to the show if you are listening, you're watching if you're reading our lips

We are here you can get tickets at living party dot life now and now that all that stuff is out of the way now We can get to the political takes. Let's do it right. Yeah, what happened? I'm I'm pro pedophilia now Yeah, I'd like to announce that yeah. Yeah Has anything happened? I don't think so. Nothing, right? Cat turds in the news.

Cat turds. He seems like to be one of the last public Trump guys online. Yeah, he's the last one. He's talking about getting in 40 bar fights, which I read it quickly. I thought he was just like, I have 40 beer shits. I thought it was just.

No, he can't shit. He's in the hospital right now. He has, right, and then Ben sent me that. For incontinence. He have 40 beer shits. I thought it was, it just. No, he can't shit. He's in the hospital right now. Yeah, and then Ben sent me that. For incontinence. He can't take shits. Yeah, they have to go snake his ass out. Ladies and gents, the man's literally full of shit. All right, okay.

He's a huge retard. His name is Philip Buchanan. Yeah. I figured out he was in the army though, so, Sympofy, sir. Mm-hmm. What'd he get kicked out for? Killing dogs. He kept shooting enemy dogs.

He was the Chris Kyle of dogs in Iraq. It's like that dog was carrying a bomb. I had to take it out. You know, even though you have three million followers, I still think you're a loser if I see you follow 10,000 people. Yeah, yeah. What even is that?

You pretend to be an American badass, clearly you were very desperate to get a following at some point. Exactly. That's why he did it. He followed the first 10,000 to get followers. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't really know anything about him other than that he killed a bunch of dogs. And he's in a lot of bar fights. He's always in the hospital. It's interesting. I've been listening to a lot of info wars and Alex is going really hard on Trump right now. Yeah.

AJ, he's our lion. He's a fendon. He's going hard on him. Yeah, he's in a drive-through in his car, going hard on Trump now, since they took his studio. That does make me a little sad. They took his studio. He has to do car videos now.

They took Alex's studio? No, no. He just uploads car videos where he's ranting. And it would be funny if he was doing Infowars from a Dodge Durango. He's in line at P. Terry's trying to get an oat milk cookie. He's doing DoorDash orders. He's like, I'll get back to Michelle Obama after I deliver this couscous.

I've dropped this couscous off in off in silver like yeah I have the Hold on let me find this Have this time stamp. They really is pretty good every time you ignore all of my bookmark every time you scroll through your bookmarks It just looks like it looks like Hyper normalization it looks like a documentary about the end of the world hold on go back the Jimmy Oh, no, we're, the Jimmy Fallon. Oh no, we're about to get to that in a second. We're about to get to that in a second.

So listen to this with Alex here. With a, this is very funny. Alex, you just, this is why I never threw him out. I always knew, he's just the goat. You can't throw the goat out. You know what I mean? You can't throw him out. Since then I've never had, I mean, I have.

He starts talking about what Trump is communicating to his team to tell Alex right here. Mm-hmm He's now calling me not the brave incredible Texan Or people's men should be like you we'd save the world Now it's he's a dumb shit tell Alex. He's a dumb shit. Well, thank you for the message Thank you, mr. President. I He's a dumb shit. Well, thank you for the message Thank you, mr. President. I Kind of am retarded

But not as retarded as you've been lately buddy boy So if you're looking for friends, they're gonna tell you what you want to hear you go ahead I'm sure there's plenty of those around you. It's not me that ain't me Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. Hell yeah. Maybe we ain't got nothing if we ain't free. He's just reading Bob Dylan lyrics or something. This is where the party is. It ain't me, babe.

No, no, no, it ain't me, babe. Don't think twice, Trump, it's alright. It ain't me you're looking for, babe. Hey, Mr. Tambourine man, let those immigrants free Yeah, I mean fuck it's I've never I never actually thought this would all crumble like this so quickly He just has to kind of take it but he's pushing back hard on Trump, but Trump's not happy about it They're they're close buddies. They're good friends. Yeah, he says he goes on to say that Trump is still like calling him all the time and shit He looks sad by the way He's turning into a Ukrainian man over time nothing if we ain't free

He looks like a like a Russian philosopher I will henceforth be known as Darth dumb shit Tell Alex he's a dumb shit Okay, I really heard his feelings think what you've been doing is good buddy hey everything you seem to have a minus touch maybe it's all gonna work out I sure hope so I told you they were gonna say you didn't get the uranium and keep beating the drums for war you thought you were gonna shut this down maybe you're gonna be successful I'm saying it's a gamble I'm definitely not rooting for Trump's failure. Believe me All right, play the clips of him on Pam Bonnie. They only go to your calls here

Just say he plays the Pam Bonnie clips and then at the end it's pretty good here, too No, dude, go on just no I just I do love him kind of turned into like a just a a stay-at-home mom talking shit with his girls at brunch He's like no, no, that's fine. I'm a dumb shit, I guess, you know? Well, he says that Trump calls him all the time and they go, would you like to speak to the president of the United States? Like, that's how it starts when the president calls you. You say yes. And he's Alex says he Trump calls him all the time when he's asleep. Really?

Because apparently Trump is just he's he sleeps two, three hours a night. He has like lepidema and his legs pumped. Yeah. Yeah. His legs are really fat. Three hours a night. Yeah. Yeah, his legs are really fat hours a night Fuck he's calling Alex at all hours of the night. He's not even answering He's waking up seeing he has like boy smells from the president of the United States So it's just a very interesting kind of Isn't Trump kind of play Kate trying to placate the the abstain stuff like by saying like alright enough. We'll look into the hooks Epstein stuff, like by saying like, alright enough, we'll look into the hoax.

Like that type of thing. Well I thought it didn't exist. I thought that was his thing. It didn't exist, he never draws anything. I think he's more mad about getting caught doing gay drawings for his friends. That kind of like looks worse. Oh yeah, the skyline that he drew.

Yeah, the skyline, the naked lady he drew for Jeffrey. Yeah. Didn't Alex say like, well I found a skyline, the naked lady he drew for Jeffrey. Yeah. Didn't Alex say, well, I found a birthday car where Trump drew Mickey Mouse in it or something? So that kind of proves it. It kind of looked like Trump just created the cover of Frasier. It really did.

Yeah. He's just obsessed with his little skyline. He should have been, many people said it, he should have been a gay little artist in Greenwich Village instead of a real estate tycoon slash the president. Playing the flute? Playing the flute, yeah.

Going to the Andy Warhol's factory, going to parties. So what he's right about is the list, the client list never actually existed. That's always been a fake thing. For Epstein. What they're talking about is the FBI affidavit. They want that thing not redacted, where they're like, who are the people

that are named in this, release this? And they're like, we're not gonna release this because there's child porn in it. It's like, thank you. Right. Yet no one's asking to, no one's demanding to see the child porn. Yeah, they're like, if we release one word of it,

we have to include graphic images of child porn. We can't just censor that at all They very vaguely said there's thousands of victims now Okay, there's tons of hard drives. There's there's thousands and thousands of videos It is all this cash, but tells like we are not gonna put these women through that again It's like I think all the women killed themselves Just show it. Just show it all.

They're all dead in the ground. But you want all that stuff. Really? He didn't have a list, like it was a takeout menu on his fridge. Epstein didn't go to it, he didn't have it with a magnet. It wasn't like stats from the NBA, where he's like, Alan Dershowitz, 38 rapes,

Donald Trump, 47. Yeah. No, you have access to a man's tapes who he's been recording every conversation in his home in Palm Beach. The cameras were always rolling. Everything was rolling. Everything was recording what released that, obviously. But there's got to be something. Now all this Katie Johnson stuff looks true. It really does. For anybody that says it was like a leftist hoax,

it looks real. That he's throwing money on like 14 year olds as he's going to pay for an abortion. It's crazy, within a week, all of a sudden everybody's like, yeah, he is a pedophile and he's got really bad cankles. We never knew about the cankles until this moment. Now he's a fat pedophile. Now he's a fat pedophile.

Overnight, overnight, they were literally photoshopping him to like Stallone and over the top arm wrestling like Biden and he's cracking his arm. Now he's a fat pedo over over fucking day. We're like a week away from catching him at the mall like dressed in military garb with stolen valor. Yeah, guy walking up to me like, what what infantry were you in? Donald Trump is standing outside of a Wetzel's Pretzels pretending he was in the military. With his 17 year old girlfriend he's trying to impress. He's like, hey, not here, man.

We can go, let's go outside. We can talk outside. Yeah, fuck. I don't know, I just, I don't think, oh, the angle's not right. Oh yeah, yeah. That's the dynamite angle. I did her, I heard some people saying it might be true that the the letter leaking

Yeah, was that real letter was that that's what I wanted to ask was that I think it has to be a real letter Like they want to print it. Otherwise they get sued into oblivion. It seemed really great. It's about the president So if it's not true, you would get you'd lose your newspaper You know if it wasn't true But I heard some people saying that was Just Lane might have leaked that as kind of like a little warning shout, like I've got plenty of this shit. Because why would they have it right now

other than somebody who's trying to send a message? I got plenty of that shit. Just Lane's in prison though, right? But she's got people, you make phone calls. You go to the little glass window, you talk to somebody on the phone. Yeah, Just Lane made some calls, You make phone calls. That's true. You go to the little glass window, you talk to somebody on the phone. Yeah. Just made some calls,

I want you to put the word out there that we back up. Trump's fat again. Trump's back fat. Trump is fat. We don't like Trump no more. You got shitty ankles. It's the whole intelligence community. It would make them all look bad as well.

So he's, you know, he would be killed if he released it, but also he would be a pedophile also if he released it. So he would have to answer like a lot of questions about this whole thing. Yeah, it's kind of interesting to me, though, like, isn't there a good there's going to be so many people on the list that then you could just kind of go like it's meaningless. Like, who knows who if everybody's a pedophile, then nobody is. Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

You feel nothing's real. Yeah, you see we're on the list. Like, we were there. Exactly. Yeah. Like, who fucking knows? So like, they should have just done it. Actually. You dropped your phone.

Did I do that? Yeah, yeah, you knocked it off with me. I feel like it fell from the sky. No, you knocked it off with your gay little pipe tool. No, I feel like we're being listened to. They can't release the files because it would kill faith in the institutions that we have no faith in anymore.

It would drain the swamp a little bit if we release the files. And I love swamps. I love ogres. I like swamps. I like moss. I don't really understand why we need to drain a swamp. I like gators and water moccasins. I like it hot. Keep it swampy. Build a prison there. Catfish. Throw some Mexicans in.ins. I like it hot. Yeah. Keep it swampy. Build a prison there. Catfish.

Throw some Mexicans in. Yeah. I like it. I mean, it's kind of just over for them now. It's kind of funny to watch. Yeah, but it's over. He's a fat pedophile. Three and a half more years.

Your guy's a fat pedophile. Well, it's also funny. His supporters are not having to say, I don't care if Trump raped me. That was also the funny. I don't care if he raped my kids. They're like, I don't care if he's fat. I don't care if he's ret say I would don't care if Trump raped me. That was also funny to my kid They're like, I don't care if he's fat. I don't care if he's retarded I don't care that he raped people I literally saw Maggot people to me like I don't care if you raped me

I would love for him to rape me then my daughter Yeah, and blow our brains out what he's doing for this country Just some guy and the replies going nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it. We all raped kids. All right I was born in 1989. It was a different time. It's beautiful I think it's beautiful sound of freedom guys must be losing their fucking minds. Mm-hmm Well, this is their core issue. This is like Trump pissing on the flag Yeah, like him like shooting a bald eagle on the front line. Yeah, but the people that double-died I mean we talked to like we were on vacation. We talked to our dad and we're like, you know, he's a pedophile

He's like, yeah, but he's a good one He's like he's doing he's like what he's doing. He's like better the pedophile, you know, you know, yeah, yeah like that My dad We're fishing. This is most this is the most horrific thing. This actually changed my view of my entire life I'm not kidding. Did your dad keep trying to drown himself the entire trip dude it all started so he was he was a weird time like fly fishes and we look over he's got a big noose made out of fishing line actually should we do an ad before we get into this gonna be too long yeah sure we can do it I'll go get a beer no yeah. I'm gonna get a beer. I'll go do everybody's favorite part of the show real quick

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And then also support HelloFresh. Hey guys, summer's for doing things, not for wasting time at the fucking grocery store. Yep. Are they cursing in their ads? Yeah, they told me to say fucking grocery store. I'm not sure about that. They said that HelloFresh was a great company to me.

I don't like the vulgarity. They want us to get a little spicier. They say HelloFresh is for the good white man. They said read it like it's the bear. Yeah. They go put a cigarette in. Yeah. Start screaming.

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So we order the HelloFresh gets into our door throw it in the microwave or you know put it get make a taco Make a taco. I'm always on the go. I'm always on the way to like a Morgan Wallen concert or something like that And I needed a well you always get the notification that Joe Dirt just showed up at the Morgan Wallen concert. Of course. You're like, I have to drive to Arizona at 120 miles an hour to see Joe Dirt walk out with Morgan Wallen. And then listen to the worst songs you've ever heard for three hours.

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We don't need a fourth mic on the show. HelloFresh. We know you're trying to get involved, but enough of you. Trying to get edgy. Trying to get edgy. Hey, we serve fucking broccoli to your fucking house, cocksucker. Get a fucking box. Grab a fucking box of HelloFresh.

Don't wipe your fucking ass anymore Drink a fucking beer and just let us do the fucking work in the kitchen So anyway Ben you have us you have a story about our family that changed the way I view us So first of all my dad kicks ass so we're watching the British open. There's a Chinese guy in second and my dad I'll bleep this but my dad kept calling him jinky His name's like Ho Chang Lee Like it was like a cookie brand Bleep it it's a quote. Oh, yeah

What they say in Gran Torino we can talk about your dad what your dad said. It was also like they were interviewing the guy he was calling Chinky Lee and then Ben's. Ben's daughter walked, there was like a fucking 85 inch TV and they just showed his gigantic Chinese face and then Ben's daughter walked up to it like it was like close encounters. Yeah. She was just like what is wrong with that guy's eyes?

She was just like pointing. I got a picture of her, she she's like pointing at the she's mesmerized by this Chinese man with his very Chinese eyes So then before you guys get out there me and dad were fishing Yeah, remember our last time we and dad were fishing. He just kept talking about the Holocaust. Yeah. Yeah He's talking about those little fellows. Yeah. Yeah, so the little fellows this time. He's a catfish He just starts thinking about Jewish prisoners. I guess so. He started talking about the Jews. He's like, these little fishes remind me of them little

fellers. Because they were a little tiny. They were like catfish like that. Sure, sure. We kept catching. He started talking about Palestine and the Jews. And I was like, this is really interesting. I want to see what he says.

And he just was like, Ben, the Jews, they're lost. The Jews are lost, and the Muslims, they're lost. They don't have Jesus, and that was kind of his whole thing. And I made a lot of sense, actually. Yeah, that's right, yeah. And then we were just catching catfish, talking about the Jews, very interesting. Your ideal vacation.

It actually was awesome. I don't even remember those 15 minutes of us just talking about the Jays and fishing on a white duck. I didn't know you did a live stream with your dad out there. Wait, let me just set this camera up real quick. This is gold. This is gold right here.

You're like, I'm gonna make like 300 bucks right now. We're just gonna let you go raw. So what'd you say, Papa Avery? Repeat yourself. No, Dad, these are super chats. Read these. So these people like your insane things you say about the Jews so much. Actually, call them Jays, though.

Call them Jays. Call them Jays? It's a code word. It's a code word. It's a dog whistle. More of a bullhorn, but a dog whistle. Dad, you know what a fascist is? So before this all happened, we're outside,

we're talking about the Jays. And then the kids join and my dad's- We started talking about the Jays more. You were going, can you say Jay? Well, all the grandkids are swimming off off yonder. Yeah. Then you guys come on and then I'm teaching my daughter out of fish. Dad calls it with all the Jay talk, you know, we're having fun. And then my dad catches a snapping turtle on accident where he has a hook in it.

And he leans over to my sister's husband and goes up. He's like, fetch me that knife. I'll just cut his head off so I don't have to lose the hook. Of the turtle. And immediately my sister's oldest son was like no don't kill the turtle. And then the other kids were like don't cut his head off please. And dad's like what what, I don't wanna lose the hook. And he's gonna snap me. They're like, they're by. They're snapping. They're like the J's.

You gotta cut their heads. They'll take your fingers off, because they're Jewish. These Jewish turtles. See, look at their big hooked beak. They're Jewish. So then my sister took a lot of the kids in that understood English because now they're like horrified. They kept saying, they kept saying, Papa's not gonna, they call him Papa, Papa's not

gonna kill the turtle, he's not gonna cut the turtle's head off in front of you. But I was reaching for a giant knife. He was gonna hold the turtle up like this and saw through his head in front of everybody. Not a knife where you could chop it. You would have had to do 127 hours. Like you would have had to saw halfway, break the neck bone, and then saw the rest of the way. So he rocks, right?

Yeah. By the way, the hook's barely in the skin on the side of the turtle's head. Yeah. Like that. You could have like ripped it out if you wanted to. Yeah, you could have just kind of yanked it. Yeah, kind of yank Like that. You could have like ripped it out if you wanted to. Yeah, you could have just kind of yanked it. Yeah, kind of yanked it.

But he's like putting in a little guillotine he brought. He brought a miniature guillotine. To behead animals that he catches. So then my sister has to take them in because they're all crying now. They're like, why did Papa say he got the turtle's head up? They're at the zoo all day, by the way, looking at turtles. They were literally, yeah. We had just taken them to the zoo.

And I remember them pointing at turtles and going, I like that. And I go, yeah, you know what we love about turtles? Nobody cuts their heads off. Isn't that great? It rocks. So then my sister takes the kids in, because they're upset now. Is that great? It rocks. Oh, man. So then my sister takes the kids in because they're upset now.

My daughter's still out because she doesn't really know what's going on and we're just fishing and catching catfish. And my dad starts going in on this whole, he likes to, he starts, he always goes into his favorite scene from No Country for Old Men where he starts acting like Uncle Ellis,

where he can't walk and he's in a wheelchair, and he was like, we were just raised, we were just raised different. I make a pot on Monday and I finish it on Friday. Yeah, that kind of, like he's acting like. There's a kid stuck in the fence over there, I'm just gonna shoot him. Yeah, no, that's my favorite.

My favorite movie scene is when that paralyzed old man who hasn't seen a person in months talks about how life is just one suicide fest after another. Just a shooting gallery every day. So it's me, my daughter, and Jace and my dad are now left on the dock. Everybody has gone after this, because the kids are like inconsolable. And it's a horrific thing to hear your grandpop say. Yeah. Chop the turtles' head off.

They watch like cartoons with talking turtles that are like people. No, they're watching Bluey, yeah. These are very little kids, by the way. They're literally like reading like Richard. These are like three-year-old kids. Yeah. I was inside actually,

I was watching the Lord of the Rings extended edition I heard they came in playing chess on your phone. I was playing chess on my phone. Thank you, Ben I was playing chess on my phone not paying attention to anyone Blocking out every single person in my vicinity Getting a huge fights with my mom and as a 35 year old man Because I just can't help myself. I can't fucking help myself. You fucking blew up on mom. Full meltdown.

You know what? I feel great about it. Two and a half hour drive sounds like a lot. Two and a half hour drive is a little, yeah. Anyway. So I hear they come in crying, talking about a turtle's gonna get its head cut off. So I'm like.

So I'm like, well, I just finished a chess game. I can go check this out. And I like mosey on down. And then the next conversation happened. My dad starts talking. He's like, so they're talking about how hard granddaddy's dad was. Which is short for grand wizard daddy.

That's what we call them. Because like my granddaddy was born in a half dugout. My dad started. That's where he started. He's like, your granddaddy, my dad, was born in a half dugout. My dad started, that's where he started. He's like, your granddaddy, my dad, was born in a half dugout. Literally like what the hobbits live in. Like a house built into the side of a mountain.

Oh, okay. He was born in like a mud hut. Yeah, like a mud hut. Like on the Estacado Plains, where the Comanche went through. Up in the Panhandle. Like in the 40s. Yeah, in the 40s in America, there was people living like it was the Amazon rainforest.

Right. But in the middle of like, you know Yeah, love it. So they lived in a half dugout He was born, you know, he had like all these brothers and sisters and like his his dad only had him So he would work on the farm and that's why they all left when they were 16 because he just saw them as employees He didn't see children as anything other than like making money and helping the farm and stuff So then my dad goes, you know, he always said, my dad would be rolling over in his grave if he saw how easy I went on you guys. And then he started talking about, yeah, this is the

part. He started listing everything he's ever killed in front of me and Jay says we're sitting there. Yeah. And he goes, I once, you know, granddaddy once there were these, there were these. No, no wasn't once she was not once I we need to put a trigger warning here. I think yeah I texted it to some people I told my girlfriend and she like had to leave the room when I got back I want I chopped a Mexican's head off. I wish it was that I wish it was that at least that would be rooted in racism. Right.

And some type of greed. Yeah, I wish it was I hit a kid with my car on accident. Yeah, and I kept driving. He might be dead. That would be better. That would be better. Because it wasn't a one time. It was any time when they were growing up,

any time our granddaddy found like a litter of puppies. Litter, these are the words, litter of puppies on the farm. He goes, granddaddy, granddaddy would kill them with a hammer. With a hammer. And I go, I go, what? I like, I like push Ben's daughter out of the way,

I'm like, what? And he's like, he'd kill him with this ball peen hammer. Specifically a ball peen hammer. Like Leatherface comes in with the hammer? Yeah, yeah. Like he took the round part of the ball peen hammer and would just like crush puppies. And I was like, I was like, Granddaddy had like lots of guns. And he's like, yeah. And I was like, why didn't he shoot him with the guns at least?

And he's like, he didn't get a sense of, he didn't get a joy. He didn't have joy in that. He wouldn't come if you shot him with the gun oh my god and I was like so he wanted to shoot him or drown him on a bag and drown him drown him and he was like no he just take a hammer and just start squishing them and no and I was like I was like I was like I wasn't even high as I go, dad, I'm shocked at this information. I was like, I was like, I was like, the grand day of like sociopath tendencies. Yeah.

Was he like driving out into Lubbock and like slaughtering women? Yeah. And like fucking them and like burning them? I don't know. Puppies are historically the cutest thing on earth. Imagine you find nine puppies and you're like, oh, these poor defenseless things.

Wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham, wham. The ball peen hammer dude goes like crush. Yes. Goes in. Like squishes. Squishes, Devin. Ball peen hammer. What the?

Light them on fire at that point. Truly. Throw a Molotov cocktail at them and light them on fire. Let them run around like it's apocalypto and shoot fiery arrows at him. Dude, bring him into your house and drop him in the disposal in the kitchen at that point. Do any fucking thing.

Not fucking, yeah, murder him with a fucking hammer. And then he was like, I felt so bad for him. He was like, yeah, you know, there was one time he found a bunch of puppies and he was like, he gave me the bag of puppies. He's like you go do it. He's like go put them in this hole Dropping their puppies. I'm like, he's a nice man. He handles them He's like, oh he runs a puppy mill He's just on a craft table just fucking wow mr. Avery sold all the puppies again He goes yeah, they go mr. Yeah, they go mr. Avery. What's wrong with your shoulder? He's like I just the old baseball injury My dad goes he goes because we had this bird dog and he was a good bird dog

And one time he killed a pig and my granddaddy and you got blood He's bloodthirsty. That's it. I gotta go you gotta put him down Well, no, so one the bird dog killed the pig and apparently there's this thing where a dog gets bloodthirsty Where then they just start they want to kill everything on the farm. Right. They go like insane, so apparently this is a thing. I don't know. Probably because he killed all its puppies. That's why it went on a shooting rampage.

So he goes, you're gonna have to kill this fully grown dog with a ball peen hammer. It might take you about 20 minutes. He goes, son, here's a piano wire. I want you to, I want you to wedgie yourself in the top of the roof. Like Leon, the professional. Kill the dog like Mo Green. Shoot him in the put glasses on him and shoot him in the.

The dogs get in a massage right now. You walk in, wait for him to put the glasses on, then shoot through the glasses. So he said he goes the granddaddy went out there in the barn and he got a lead pot and he hit him on the head and killed him. He said he beat him to death. And we go why is he doing all these moves? He goes well his puppy hammer broke from all the puppies. The metal got worn smooth from all the years, years of puppy skulls. Son, go fetch me my puppy hammer. Because I remember these three stray dogs showed up at the house one day and my granddad was like, Jimmy, I don't want him to suffer. You load them up

in the pickup, you take them out in the field, here Here's a 30-06 and you go shoot them. So I was like dad. I don't want to do he's like Jimmy You don't go do it so they don't suffer. So I loaded him up took them out together like Put them in a big vast put them in a big vice all lined up between The vice scripts and then I let it fly. So then he just kept telling story. He goes, I didn't want to suffer. Shoot him anywhere but the head. Yeah, he goes, so I lined him up in a vice

and lo and behold a Virgil came and he led me down into the pits of hell as a punishment for all the puppy lies we had taken. And of course I tried to jump across the big chasm and I didn't make it. Shoot them in their paws and just let them bleed out. Over the course of three hours. He goes chop off one paw and if they don't talk by then, you know, work to the vise. I think at one point Dad goes I'll spare you all the details.

That happened all the time. Yeah, spare us the details. Why were puppies and dogs always being... He said that happened all the time. Yeah spares the day Where puppies and always being he said that happened all the time? They'd have to kill I think they have the closest farm outside of town And so people would like you know his other dads in the in the 60s would like their kids dog would have puppies They put in a bag and they just drive out to the fucking and throw it in the Happen is a population of like 100 people. I think every day.

How many times? I think every day it happened. Why are people constantly dropping? I think every day they walked out front and like the milkman, there was a new puppy on the front steps. Six puppies in a big crate. So that kind of doubled down on cutting

the turtle's head off or whatever. So he did it? He just kept, no, we didn't let him. But that was an example. He cut the, it was easy to get's head off. Yeah. Or whatever. So he did it? He just kept, no, he didn't. We didn't let him. But that was an example. He cut the, it was easy to get the hook off. Yeah, we got needle nose pliers. Yeah.

You didn't have to chop his head off. But that, that. See, your granddaddy would have strapped a bomb to this turtle. Made it go into a bank. He would have told the turtle to ask for all the money in the register. Turtle would come out. He'd take the money, he'd blow him to smithereens. See, your granddaddy, what he'd do, he'd tape a 9mm to the turtle's hand and call

the cops, say there was a disturbance. He just sat by the cops. See, granddaddy used to like, he used to plant keys in turtles' eyes and set up a little trap for them and he'd set a timer. And if they couldn't get the key out of their eye in an hour. You see, your granddaddy was a little puppet

that rode a tricycle everywhere. You see, the thing, your granddaddy was a little puppet that rode a tricycle. You see the thing, your granddaddy was the judge from Blood Meridian. He was six foot eight, he had a piece of hair on his body. It was like genuinely, I was like that really disturbed me. But you kind of like learned a little more about your dad that day But it was also he was using example. He's like see that's the thing is I raised y'all soft

That's the problem. Well, there's no As if he doesn't just like eat what a burger and watch the news. What's so hard about you? Everybody's like has their creature comforts now. You don't have to do anything. You're just on your, you're on Facebook. What are you talking about? Like the whole thing with like cat turd threatening to beat up people on X.

You tweet for 18 hours a day. I've been in 40 bar fights and my hands don't work anymore. Imagine having a specific number of bar fights. You've been in 40. Yeah, you hit 40, you're like, all right, that's how I'm gonna stop going to this bar. more imagine having a specific number of bar fights you've been in yeah 40 yeah you hit for you like all right that's how many stop going to this bar he goes home and has like a tally well that was 39 all right zero for 39 statistically you'd be dead yeah you'd be stabbed or you your head we get hit

the wrong way shot a lot people don't often survive fights Yeah, people get in fights. They don't make it out all the time Well his version of fights are probably he has like fake Texas tough guy fights. What's two fake tough guys Like bumping to each other in a barn. They go hey Asshole and the guy goes faggot and then they square up and their friends will go like hey, no, no, no, come on Don't be Leonard. It's not my Leonard's not where he's like you're lucky my friend you lucky I didn't position myself before behind my friends and forced them to hold me back our drew and everyone's not right now Anyway, that's one that's one

That's one fight and then there's that same thing happened with the same guy And then we both swung at each other missed by nine feet because we're both pussies the same guy and then we both swung at each other missed by nine feet because we're both pussies and we didn't step within fucking 20 feet of each other yeah just kind of both lurch while jumping backwards that's their version the fucking fights yeah and booze great trip I had a great time it was actually fun great to see all the kids together I do love that it's just was very funny I guess time vacated the whole dock and they just kept talking about how many dogs he's killed Oh, he's it's fun to have a it's fun to have a dad that scares the hose

Yeah, yeah And I love it cuz you know I mean you know me I mean we do the show I'm just like I'm like starting to understand why you guys have such sick thoughts Is the evolution you guys didn't, but it's in your DNA. Yeah, we were made from Puppy Killer Comm. When we make a joke here, I wish I could find out why I'm the way I am. I wish my dad would tell me, like, yeah, your grandfather used to light snails on fire. A lot. Yeah. fire a lot yeah now every time we have a good riff here I know where it's coming

from mm-hmm the fucking kill the kid rape the baby that's a turtle turtle death evolution it's on our DNA that's a puppy death evolution yeah we're like three steps away from like Gaelic warriors like we're in skulls We should be like running through villages like just like fucking crushing a fucking kids face and Just stepping on women. Oh, man. Yeah, it was truly one of them one of the more shocking things I've learned. Did you get any more empathy for your father from that? His he was being forced to kill puppies. I used to when I was like young I used to be like he spiked me and then I was doing the math I'm like well he was you know he's killing puppies and you know yeah he would occasionally let stories

slip you know where he's like it's like a fun memory he's like yeah I remember it was my fifth birthday and we you know we went to the bowling alley and I got a cake. And then your granddaddy, he hit me with his ring and he split my forehead open. And you're like, oh yeah, yeah. The fact that I just got spanked, it's like, did a great job. They killed Donnie that night.

Yeah, your granddaddy, he put my friend Donnie's head into the bowling return machine because he was angry. Group of Niles friend Donnie's head into the bowling return machine because he was angry. Group annihilist shot Donnie. You know it was kind of relieving to hear about the dietary habits of the old settlers. How so? Well, Dad was talking about everybody that was born in these half dugouts and they lived to be 92 and we had an aunt. Her name was like, oh, what were you checking on your phone?

No, I feel like I hear something in the background. Oh yeah. They were like a song playing. Oh, what were you checking on your no, I feel like I hear something in the background. Oh Yeah, they're like a song playing Somebody's phone playing so my phone started playing music. Okay, could you hear that? Yeah. No, I just heard I barely heard it I couldn't hear it through my headphone here. I had one off the headphones. What was that? No, what were you saying? Oh You beat me to it, god damn it. Anyway. Now what were you saying? Oh, so all these people grew up in,

so we found out we're descendants of the Roaches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A family called the Roaches that were in Blair, Oklahoma. That's right, I've heard about them. So they. Our family tree has like nooses hanging from it. Yeah. Yeah. So they ended up in like, in the panhandle of Texas,

but in the Estacado Plains where it was a big Comanche country. A lot of Comanche. And no doubt they probably moved out there in the time of the cowboy, you know, 1860 to 1870, 1880s, 1890s into that region where there were still guys riding on horses firing bows from the side like the war and somehow the roaches because they had six shooters were defending themselves valiantly from these people yeah and then turning around and somehow in the night in the 1900s becoming morbidly obese which was then we were kind of figuring out where like dietary habits come from so we had a my dad's Grandma grandma. Yeah, her name was like Rose or something. I forgot what it was. Yeah, thank you. So they named her after speakers

your grandma bows she Dude, she was like dad says she was five foot five foot tall and like what? 260 pounds 260 pounds five foot tall lived in 95 95 years old so she died in like the 50s But she was that big her whole life. Mm-hmm. And me and Jason were like, but you can't eat processed food You don't yeah, they're not like they had a very there weren't there weren't skittles, you know There was a mountain. Yeah. This is just all like potatoes and you're eating the entire cow.

Yeah, well, yes, we were like, what? You're so about gaining weight on keto. Like you guys don't even have carbs. Oh yes. Yes. We were like, what would she, like, what did she eat? Like every morning she woke up, she made a big vat of gravy. Like started off with four, like quarts.

She started off every morning of her life with gravy. It amazing made out of Chris Chris Chris go large Chris go large You'd have a big she would make it dad said she would make it in like she had like quadrants Yeah, we described it where she'd make a ton of biscuits a ton of gravy and a big Mm-hmm a big pan and then like maybe a couple pounds of bacon couple pounds. She was like a short order cook for herself, essentially. She's like putting little tickets above her. She's like, all right, Nick's the grits. We got 86 grits, y'all. Did she make grits?

There's nobody in the room. There's like a six course breakfast. My dad said she'd wake up at like 5 a.m. to start making the lard, the biscuits. She woke up early to start eating. I know. Which is the fattest thing you can do. That's what really fat people do,

is they wake up early to eat. You have a schedule for being fat. You're clocking in. Yeah. She did it with lard, God bless her. This is a woman who's, if you're five foot tall and you're a woman, you should weigh probably 130? 105, 115. 120, I don't really know. You're clocking in to fat. If you're five foot tall and you're a woman you should weigh probably yeah one 30 105

You're clocking into fat You're hitting a big clock, but it's a scale You're like 260 all right here. We go living at 95 though makes you think it almost makes you go like is meat bad No, he said he said different times. I remember him talking about her a lot because it just blew me away. He's like she would go to the doctor occasionally because she'd just wake up in the entire world. Dr. Pepper?

Yeah. I'm sorry, it's a bad joke. No, no, no, it's very good. It hits when it's when it works. It's very good. That was good. It's very good. I was mad at myself, I didn't think it,

because I love to throw that one out there. Yeah. I love to say Dr. Pepper. Yep. But she would go to the doctor, because she'd wake up and the entire right side of her body would be black or something. Mm-hmm. Right?

Yeah. She'd get bed sores from the air. Yeah. Air pressing on her. Air sores. She'd get air sores. And she'd go to the doctor, and the doctor would examine her like the John Merrick, the Elephant Man. air pressing on her. She get air sores. She go to the doctor and the doctor would like examine her like the John Merrick the Elephant Man.

He'd just be like, I don't know, how are you alive? What is happening? The doctor would like call other doctors, like be like, you have to come in and like look at this woman. Yeah. And she had, I might have talked about this on the show, but she had, to get around her trailer,

she had bought like 15 Lazy Boys, and so she would, she would, It's kinda like a frog. She would walk three feet and then sit in a Lazy Boy and then kinda sit there for a second and then get up and then walk three feet to another Lazy Boy. With a walker, so, cause she would have to sit.

No, it's canes, she had two canes. Oh, she had two canes? Yeah, she had two canes. Candy canes. Boom! She was married to mr. Pib Very good, right never gets old never gets old. She was fat as hell though. Damn. She lived till 95 fucking They took her money away because she gave it all away

Donating it to the Hershey factory. She was the only person who they decided money was a gateway drug? But he said she was sitting in front of the TV all day and she would change the channel by hitting it with her cane essentially because they didn't have remotes back then. Got you. with her cane essentially, because they didn't have remotes back then. So she'd just be like, that dick likes a faggot. And then punch the dial with the cane. That rules, he's such a classic woman. And she gave away all of her money to some televangelist, but I'm not sure who it was.

That's why they took her money away, because she'd watch TV and be like, you need to, if you wanna have more, Mr. Pibb, you gotta send me $400 in Jesus Christ's name. Let's sing a soda prayer. So, yeah, they'll give you all, there's new types of soda Jesus will send you. New secret sodas you can only dream of.

They got big red, but it's grape flavored. It's fucking wild, y'all. Crazy shit. Proud of my swearing, but it's great flavor. It's fucking wild But Jesus is a fucking wild boy Wild sodas for y'all fucks Send me $350 25,000 of your social security away before they took it away. Yeah, it was just like sending checks, like not even taking them out of the envelope,

just sending them into the televangelist. Back then food was probably free basically. Essentially, yeah. If you're that fat, yeah, they put you on food stamps. I read a statistic that back in the 50s, like 40%... People spent 40% of their paychecks on their clothes, their suits, their suits well she spent she spent 80% Big she's a big she's a big and we never met her newer and fucker now Yeah, fuck all my ancestors

You want to be here without them? They tried to love me as best they could. Fuck them. Yeah, fuck man. Yeah we had, the only people we did know is I guess grand nannies, grandma and grandpa, or mom and the D daddy and D nanny. Which is very funny to have those yeah, yeah Yeah, I always I remember him like I saw him when I was very young and you just be like, you know

You're like five and you don't see this family so often You drive out to like fucking West Texas and you're like you meet a guy who looks like the grip keeper But he's wearing a hat that says like fuck Mexicans on it or whatever. It was crazy. It was just crazy I remember him being the oldest person in the entire fucking world. More big trucker hat that said fuck Mexicans on it. I just remember looking at his hands and being like why are the bones sticking out? Why are there spots everywhere? They always have specially made WB stuff. It's like the Tasmanian devil but they somehow

made it like he's like racist They have like a Bugs Bunny shirt You're like I didn't know were they doing stuff Ducking a KKK hood burning across do my granda and he got bless her heart. She almost made it to 90 She loved Tweety bird love. Yeah Hello, you know the little yellow she was like a six flags. Joe all she did was make burritos and then love Tweetie bird I was a cello. I love I loved her house because she had like her media collection she would have like a goldmine now cuz you go over and she had like

Thousands of VHS is she just copied like old like Sinbad the sailor cartoons Yeah, fucking three stooges Laurel and Hardy shit like that of VHS is she just copied like old like Sinbad the Sailor cartoons and fucking Three Stooges Laurel and Hardy shit like that I used to just I used to just get fucking that's sick just a creepy dolls yeah homels she had homels everywhere and me and Jason would eat like it was a like those burritos it felt like it was like melatonin yeah she was like making Chipotle burritos before they existed it was like fucking she was like 2000 it was like a kava it was like making Chipotle burritos before they existed. It was like fucking She invented Chipotle? She was like 2000, it was like a cava. It was like 2000 calorie burritos. Burritos are amazing. They're a great sleep aid.

She'd make about 300 of them when the summer started. Fridge was full of it. So you'd just go to the fridge. And the freezer, you take one out. You take it out like it's a cigar. You'd go through the big giant freezer like it was a humidor. And you'd select your burritos. Yeah, you'd be looking down the side of it, like you're seeing if it was warped or not. She would ask you if you want it cut. Yeah. Plunking it. Yeah. And you'd be like, this is a good one right here. Burritos really changed the game for fat people.

It's such a grand fact. Cause it was cause people realized you could fit food in food. No forks. They were like, Oh my God. Let's cut out the middle man. No forks. They were like, oh my god, let's cut out the middle man. Oh, no plate Just hold this fucking thing. I hold this fucker. It's I eat the plate y'all It was like over for actual food. Yeah, it's like on the go. You can be on a skateboard It's on the go. You're not gonna be on a skateboard. Mm-hmm, but you could be Burrito doing a backflip. So I could be surfing there on a rascal scooter

But yeah But yeah, I was asking dad so many questions about I didn't know idea like they went from Oklahoma up into New Mexico there Well, they were he built a whole empire. They were sharecroppers. We come from like white slavery kind of which is crazy Yeah, so my great great guys like the kind of which is crazy. Yeah, so my great You guys like the history like Johnny cash. Yeah, basically Yeah, my great granddaddy when he was 12 His dad would tell him when he was 12 years old to get on the tractor and just head north And goes far like just keep going and ask people if he could cut their wheat for them

I think it was yeah, and so they were they were 12 years old He would just knock on and probably dipping or smoking so he smoked like his whole life our dad started dipping at 11 My dad also drove a truck through a house when he was nine But anyway, they would they would head north and they would just knock on complete strangers doors in the middle of nowhere And then cut their wheat and then like I a business going, like haggle with them and stuff. Really, you like all the pretty horses type shit. Yeah, they'd be like, we got one dollar

and we drove it back home and we lived off that for years. That one silver dollar. But that was their life. And I can't believe, that's the weirdest thing is that we, our lives could be, you don't believe that's the weirdest thing is that we, our lives are, could be, you don't have to leave a chair anymore. And, and actually you can make millions doing it. Many do. You can lay down all day and become a millionaire from laying down.

Our great, great grandfather, he worked in a day what we do in three years and made $9 a month. They also, they weren't, our grandfather wasn't born in a day what we do in three years and made $9 a month. It's obscene. Our grandfather wasn't born in a hospital. That's how far removed from, they were born in a hobbit hole. I was saying that to dad. You forget that, you're like, oh, we've been America forever. It's like, no, your grandpa's dad literally

fell out of a pussy into a pile of dirt where he lived. They don't have birth certificates. Yes, they don't. Yeah, you can't trace it back yeah and was just like well the best thing that ever happened to me was like so they all went went to the military because they like saved their lives they got to go to college and yeah you know become like dude as soon as I hear that I'm like like taxation is theft like all this shit is gay like let us go be go back to being like born in

holes in the ground and figuring it out From there mm-hmm life was fine weak days the government sent us out Texas sent us out was like go kill Go kill Redmond mm-hmm go kill him No, and we did we went out and we killed them when we got land and we started farms I mean not we the west we would have died immediately, but I say we Western man It didn't you would have you any of it. Yeah, we would have been in chairs still to them We would just been the guy on the tractor that goes alright go ask them if they want their shit or something

And then we'd turn the tractor out. We're just sitting in the chair. Yeah, but I'd be like I fucking want Twitter Yeah, you want you would you would know about it somehow? There's a really racist website one day. I just have a feeling. I look at the blue sky. We used to have, one day we're going to actually have blue sky. You're like, I wish I knew what Jews were so I could hate them. Y'all know where any Jews are. Y'all know any Jews.

I read about them in the Bible. I got a feeling I would hate them if I knew them. I want to be anti-something, but I can't find it. Yeah, we ain't got no, we have to be like anti-dirt, because that's all we got. You'd have to travel on foot like a thousand miles to be racist to somebody. They ended slavery so they could hate them. Yeah, exactly. Release them so we could fucking really get angry at them now.

Then they're really fucked. Release them and we won't hire them. Release them so I won't hire them and then we can talk shit about them. And one night we'll get all drunk, they're making a living from it, we'll get all drunk and get on our horses and light their house on fire. Cause right now they're all nice to me making my bed and doing everything for me. I don't like that shit. How do I call them the n-word if they're being all nice to me? They're like Flintstone appliances right now. I wanna hate them more.

They got a gun to their head. That's why they're being nice. Release them so I can fucking spew hatred at them. Like that old fashioned hatred. Man, the West kicks ass. I love that you guys are like, you have like old West DNA. But we gotta go back to it. You're like, and my great granddaddy was a stage coach.

But this is what it always was. Why do we expect people to be like these, like what the fuck does open minded mean? Motherfucker, my grandfather was born in a hole and he killed dogs with a hammer. What do you want from me? You want me to not be racist? Eh.

Sorry. Wrong. Sorry. There's epigenetics is a real thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. And this is just the way things are. And it's not my fault.

And I have no control. We actually, can we start accepting that we have no control over who we are as a people? Let's start accepting that. Can we start accepting it, Devin? I agree. We have no control over ourselves or our urges, and we barely even know ourselves. I agree.

I know somebody in my old DNA, sometimes I get so angry, I'm like somebody in my family was one of those guys that had like a deaf kid that he would scream at and snap at, they're like, why are you not responding to me? Throw his spaghetti across the room. Throw it across, I guarantee, we all came from people that just took pictures

where they had no facial expression and they would just scream at deaf children. Get your hat, it's gotta. War is actually the only way you can get back to your roots, I'm starting to think. I think going out and killing. It's the oldest art form, in a way. I think it's the only way you can get,

Jews and Muslims haven't lost that rich cultural tradition of killing innocent people. Yeah, they're like old west reenactors. Exactly. Yeah, they do in paleo, yeah. Back to the roots. Yeah, and then we do the thing where we put on the white wig and we have the muskets.

The Jews and the muskets, yeah, they're still doing it. The war keeps them alive. The war keeps them alive. There's a clit in my boot that I chopped off because a whore was driving. I should look into Islam, because I don't know if don't know if they've it that's even all real I think I could open up a whole new world for you. I don't know getting into is I don't want to convert to anything No, I'm saying you could get Islamophobic in like 2025 like an old throwback, you know

No, they would suck me in with the cuz they're like a very hateful people It feels like like the all that stuff, you know, I? I get sucked, I'm like, they're into making bombs. You know what I mean? Some of them are pirates. I could see you accidentally becoming Muslim. That would be a good turn for you. You'd turn like Cat Stevens. Yeah, you'd have a big red beard

and a funny pointy hat you wear. That would be awesome. Yeah, you'd be walking around in a big Moo Moo. That whole thing seems to be, you can be walking around in a big Moo Moo that whole thing seems to be You can't get in any of those things because the foundations of them are intense hatred So if you're you know if you if that sounds fun to you you might get sucked into it You know so I don't I don't look at do any of it. I just try to stay in my lane You know and not know anything

Yeah, I try to protect myself from the elements by remaining ignorant of everything. That's what I get into my own rage, which is making up a set of rules everyone should follow based on my own biases and past experiences that are different from everyone else's, and if they don't abide by it, I get furious at them. Yeah, exactly. That's what, I mean, which is,

that's your new thing you're establishing. Exactly. That's my religion. Which is you being, as having psychosis and being insane. My religion is taking a plane home from a family vacation and you will get back and be like, retarded, fucking dumbass. Mm-hmm. Because it's in you to kill, actually.

That's why we have psychosis and we're judgmental. We should just, we shouldn't even be thinking about the people that we want to kill. We should just be killing them Yeah, yeah, you see someone in traffic. That sucks ass Yeah, they got bumper stickers or they're just they're bad Just you know, we should be able to roll the window down and and say here's I got a good buy gun in my glove box How about you bite the big one? I try so hard to not feel this way, but you go to one movie and you're around the general public and you actually think somebody

should shut the door and kill everybody. You're self-included. Me too. Just casualty of war. Because I'm here, I don't know why I thought I could live amongst two people. You're watching, you think you're a good guy, you watch Superman, you're like,

I'm gonna be nice to people, and then you go to the movies again, you're watching Eddington be nice to people and then you go the movies again You're watching Eddington and something happens and a guy goes the book. Yeah, you're like no fire. Yeah, just fire from heaven There's so many people Yeah, I had that on the air I get mad when I'm proven wrong cuz I was on the plane back and Like the plane like just like left the little terminal and the guy right across the seat from me, the aisle, he pulled out a giant bag of Popeyes and started eating it.

And it just made, no matter what food you're eating on a plane, it smells like farts and ass. It did, it smelled like cheddar cheese farts and I was literally like, I was staring at him through the side of my eye, just imagining him blowing up in my brain. I really- Imagining him getting sucked out of the airplane

because the door opened. Something disgusts me about people that pretend they actually need to eat. In that moment. In America. Yeah. You know, like when people go like. To sit on a plane.

You're on a plane for two hours and you have to eat. They're about to, yeah, they're about to give you cookies and pretzels in 30 minutes. Which they shouldn't. They shouldn't do anything. No one needs to eat in America. I think they should keep the liquor. Is anyone, like, for their health, do they have to eat?

Nope. Nope. Yeah. Ain't nobody gotta eat. People, like, you see like a cup, like a, you know, the fat middle-aged couple, and they cut a sandwich on the plane. Fucking burning hell. They're cut a sandwich on the plane fucking

burn in hell they're cutting a sandwich you have to why why why do you have to eat so you could watch so you could you could watch Yellowstone mm-hmm on Delta yeah on the plane the people who bring like spaghetti they made at home in Tupperware yeah like open up like a thick bolognese pasta yep start eating it together disgusting I had a guy eat a tuna sandwich on a plane One time I wanted to stab him in the neck That should be you should be you should be removed from flying. That's insane I've done a sandwich

You ate a tuna sandwich on a fucking plane. No, it was like a BLT any sandwich is discussed I pulled out a huge like 12-incher out of my backpack as soon like once we got to altitude and the TVs Started working and the white was sort of work. I tuned up a movie and I pulled out a Out of your back Did you bring the sandwich from home or did you get it at the airport? I got the sandwich three hours prior knowing I wanted to eat it on the plane and make a whole thing of it before you Got to the airport you stopped to get A sandwich put in your bag and then I brought the sandwich through TSA Like I had to take the sandwich out and like put it on the big conveyor

And it goes it get my sandwich got x-rayed. It's giving me cancer I guess I actually did to that once too. I feel like a piece of shit. It's awesome. Yeah, I had it from a Yeah, but it was like a good sandwich from like a famous place. It's awesome to eat up in the air like that You feel like royalty? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. There is just something about other people But I we should because we're better exactly because we're kings We're we're morally superior kings No, I was gonna say Before we went on the other thing is that I got proven wrong because I was like this guy is fucking

This guy should be killed neck cut open bleed out and then halfway through the flight He just saw I was like watching the Lord of the Rings but like behind the scenes video I download on my phone and he like showed me he's like he had all the books and then he like talked to me about Lord of the Rings first. I was like, oh, that's like a really cool guy That's not it. He shouldn't have his throat cut and bleed out and then get sucked out of the plane and explode. Little does he know you've been thinking all this about him. He was like, dude, who are the rings?

And then he like, he like gave me like nucks and then I'm like, I just, I thought about you exploding for an hour, for a whole hour before we talked. Cause you did something I kind of a little bit of disapproved of next to me. Yeah. Yeah. And I was cranky. Dude guy in front of me. I'm trying to figure out what this movie was. He's watching a movie where like there's these like sort of futuristic like Marines on a planet killing a bunch of bugs that are coming out. Starship troopers.

Starship. Is that the Mel Brooks thing or is that Spaceballs? No, that's Spaceballs. Let me see. Starship Troopers. Tim Allen. No, it's... You're thinking of Galaxy Quest. You're thinking of Galaxy Quest. It's Paul Verhoeven, the guy who made a Robocop. Oh, yeah, it was this Starship Troopers. This is what it was, Jay. It's very good. It's actually a very good movie. There's a lot of really hot women in it, too, right? There's a lot of nude scenes. Yeah, there's a big shower scene, group shower scene. I caught this motherfucker some saggy titties in it though. It's kind of They should ban the movie. I caught this motherfucker watching it on double speed What's the point? That's crazy. What's the point of being alive? That's crazy. It's like let's fast forward

It's not even a boring movie. They're shooting giant bugs the whole movie He had it on it was moving so fast and he clicked and I saw it had times two on it How are you? He's watching it on it like some sort of tablet thing He brought you're like you're acting like it's my dinner with Andre like you got to get this art film over there What the entire movie is guys shooting bugs and then acid falls on their arm and the arm melts off. Yeah, that's boring How can you enjoy that? I don't know. How can you enjoy watching a movie on double? Also all the voices sound like Alvin and the chipmunks Yeah, when you speed up a rocker. I guarantee he's also it's it's like a big satire that movie

I can guarantee he's just watching his only thought is like fuck those bugs Fucking Muslim bugs That we invaded their home world It was a white guy like 55 year old white guy guy, by himself watching Starship Troopers on double speed. And I keep thinking about him. I'm like, what's the point? What's the fucking point? That's very funny, because that's like, yeah,

you do that for Transformers 2 or something. You're like, all right, yeah, now I can tell people I finally saw it. You do that for a movie you don't really, it's really hard to get through. You don't really want to watch. You've never watched a movie on double speed before. It Barry, Barry Lyndon. Never, ever, ever. You do it for an instructional video like how to tie a tie on YouTube

in a specific way. And it's four minutes and the guy's long winded. All right. Double speed it. I can see how you're doing it. The music is too fast. Everything's it doesn't make any sense. I realize that people are probably doing this because of TikTok too, because people watch movies in TikTok form on their phone and they're on double speed. Yeah.

There was a 65 year old guy to the left of me, he had Wi-Fi, he was watching TikTok on his phone on the plane. That's every old guy over 60. I was like, how are you 65, you're watching TikTok? What are you doing? Dude, they're all on it. Mom's on it.

You should be reading a fucking book about war. What are you doing? They can't read anymore. Yep. You guys should be playing Axis of Allies or something. It's crazy. It's just like the tech text where it's like, get ready with me to make focaccia bread at home.

And he's like, no. And then, you know, 17 year old with huge tits and he's like, eh, hard in the neck. Dude, as people are like outsourcing their thought, there's an epidemic of people like losing their ability to read, losing their ability to write, losing their ability to write, losing their ability to think.

To think, to live, to love. And they're going to the doctor, they're like, I can't think anymore, I can't write, I can't read a book, four and a half a page. I go back home, I see friends, and they're like, you should ask chat GBT about that recipe you're making.

Ask chat GBT how much milk to add. And I'm like, why are you even alive anymore? So people that are, well everybody like body dysmorphia in America now especially because of social media I'd wager half 50% of people could be dying I think that's I think that's low I think that's low I think it's 80% of people people are now going to chat GPT and uploading a photo of themselves and asking them to rank them in their attractiveness and it's a robot so it's like you got shitty titties your nose fucking sucks

like you got shit in your ass your fucking stomach's busted fuck you and people are like getting like you know like doing double mortgages on their house to get like you know insane plastic surgery because a robot they bullied themselves with a robot. It's like the story of, it's like narcissists, right? So like anybody who has body dysmorphia is probably thinking about themselves constantly. So on some level, they probably think they're actually like,

they kind of look like Brad Pitt, or they kind of look like Tom Cruise, or they kind of look like Scarlett Johansson. A couple points at least above what they're actually at. So they get ranked on a scale of like one to 10 and it's like a normal score of like you're 4.5 and they're like fuck, I'm a four and a half. And then they start going to therapy and losing their minds

and their whole life is spiraling out of control because that thing can be honest, be objective with you or whatever. So it's, I don't know, the evidence kind of points more towards that suicide's gonna be a very common thing amongst people, I imagine. Oh yeah. I'm guessing.

Oh yeah. Because if you're talking to this thing all day, and seeking to please it as this god and stuff, and it's telling you you're ugly and you suck ass. Oh, I think we're 20 years from now, you go to a party and your friend's like, hey, how was we're 20 years from now you go to like a party and your friends like hey how was the drive and they're like a guy killed himself on the way you know it's fucking brutal out there. Just a daily occurrence. Apparently they're

really young generations right now there's a phenomenon where they're all from TikTok they're all getting into the movie Idiocracy and they think it's really funny because they think it's about what we're living through right now. Right. So they're seeing Idiocracy and seeing how retarded they are. Now retarded everyone's become. But they didn't know that movie existed and they think it's like this prophetic kind of thing. The way like you could watch The Matrix now and see how everybody's sort of online in the digital world. That's their, that's their The Matrix is, you know, Idiocracy.

Right. Yeah. Because the matrix isn't even close. The idiocracy is closer in terms of like a dystopian type thing. I mean, fuck, I would love an augmented reality where everything, you know, you can. I'd love to be a battery for a robot.

That would be great. Yeah, that's like best case at this point. Other than, you know, other than, yeah, Carl's Jr. sends me an email that they love me and happy birthday. You're telling me instead of that that I can live in a big egg filled with goo Yeah, send me to the goo. Give me the goo unlimited goo. Oh, the goo I can breathe I never have to die and burn it now for all eternity. I'm always 98.6 In goo I get to work in an office. I got cool little rods in my neck. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah

Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's bad ass. Mm-hmm. But I didn't know the younger generations would be discovering that. It's all because of TikTok clips. Right. Discovering movies.

Right. Yeah. That's how they say they watched a movie, because they watched it. They'll watch like 10 TikToks back to back, of like the big moments. And they're like, I watched that movie. I watched it.

On double speed, by the way. Yeah. They're like, I watched that movie. On double speed, by the way. They're like, I love that four minute movie, Seven Pounds. It's one of my favorite four minute movies. They're watching The Pianist in three minutes. Yeah, they're like, dude, I love how the Holocaust was one minute long. That kicks ass. I was watching Schindler's List on fucking TikTok clips.

Short list. I was actually watching Family Guy clips underneath it that were silent of Peter fighting the chicken. Yeah, they're like, I watched Shawshank Redemption. It was the Family Guy parody of Shawshank Redemption. That's what they watched. I think my favorite channel line is when I see people break down Family Guy.

I had to like, this is a great moment with Peter because this is when you realize he's not all bad. Yeah. Are they like, Loki, I've been thinking about him. Brian's kind of a bad guy. Yeah. And Quagmire really dressed him down for it. I couldn't fathom assigning anything Like that to those characters. It's amazing. They watch it sincerely They're like sincerely watching family like young Ian analyzing. Yeah, like like from a psycho

Intelligence, but they're retarded that they're using it with this show. I've seen YouTube comments say, like, I wish they weren't so mean to Meg. It hurts my feelings when they're mean to Meg. This 13-second clip changed my life, how I thought of Peter Griffin. It's crazy.

It's really crazy. The Peter Griffin lore is crazy. People will literally, I see shit online all the time where they go, you know what, Peter Griffin's a bad guy. He's an asshole. Like actually. And then people in the comments are like, no, keep going. Yeah, he was a pretty shitty guy at this point in the show, but gets like better you come back around yeah what are you talking do you think if you

showed someone the Simpsons now they'd be like why is that dad choking his son he's so probably I think they'd also be like why is that Homer Simpson guy such a genius yeah he says I think they just be like you know, what do you think about the Simpsons? They go, I'm like, I'm like 17 seasons in. It's like Mr. Burns has yet to show any respect to rude. He's a loyal member of the company. No, he needs to be nice to Smithers and shit. Man, we will be in the Northwest. The Pacific Northwest.

Yeah, the Pacific Northwest right now. If you're listening to this, I swear to God, we will be, Wednesday, Seattle, come out to Helium. I think it's Helium. It is Helium. Or maybe it's a different comedy club. Yeah, it's a place. People have asked me, I have no clue where it is.

Portland is Helium. Portland's Helium, I'm pretty sure. Seattle is also owned by Helium, but I think it's a new comedy club. It's a different thing. I don't know where it is. We're doing it in Chaz. That's helium, I'm pretty sure. Seattle is also owned by helium, but I think it's a new comedy club. It's a different thing. I don't know where it is. We're doing it in jazz.

That's what we're doing in the show. I was going to do Hotel Tonight, day of. That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking of getting a nice deal for all of us. Whoa, love that. He's flying by the seat of our pants. And then we're going to drive from Seattle. We're going to get a rental car, drive from Seattle to Portland the next day.

There's a very nice man who's a fan of Lemon Party who's going to let us drink at his brewery for free. Oh lovely, lovely. Forget the name of it, but he emailed me so I'll be able to dig back through my emails. Nice. So we're going to get free beer. I like all those areas. I've never been to Portland. I've been to Seattle once for a funeral.

But yeah, I like it. They're all very anti-racist, but you can't is not a black guy in sight Yeah, there's like crack black guys in Portland. There's like people on crack No poor when there's literally like black guys with like big swords and like yes It's like Seattle's full of like Somalians and shit. Mm-hmm guys that like cut their hair with machetes and drive over With the machete with the machete machete arms because they were chopped off driving their uber with a machete yeah there's refugees who look like

sid's toys from toy story yeah it'll be interesting and then we're flying down to san francisco san francisco will be this saturday if you're listening now, that literally means July 23rd, 24th, and then July 26th, we are there. We always get messages. Shit, I wish I knew you guys were there. I didn't know. As soon as we leave that place, they message me, come to Seattle, come to Portland, and I email them back.

We were just there, and then it's oh fuck. So many of you guys, because these aren't places we're gonna come often. We might not come back here for years and years and years I'm big probably never never come back. I never again. It's weird. We're going there in the first place Well, we're showing some love to the other cities other than the big ones, of course We got to show love to the woodsman of Seattle and Portland to the to the Turner Diaries There's plenty of white supremacists up there. They would love this

ATV guys that are gonna ride in Into the club into the club on their a TV a lot of green room guys You know they're mm-hmm. It'll be good time big big pit bulls. They got chains. Yeah The Anton Yeltsin with his arm cut up duct tape yeah, it'll be good guys that they grow weed It's it's never helped them with empathy. Yeah. It's never once allowed for empathy. They smoke weed to think of new racial slurs to yell.

It'll be fun. Yeah, it'll be good. But lemonparty.life is for the tickets. That's lemonparty.life. And we have all the shows there. By the way, we're coming to Dallas in September as well. That ticket link is up. As more ticket links are added, we'll be coming.

This isn't like a cash thing for us. We don't really make any money at all. We make zero dollars. This is more fun for us, and it's fun to see you guys. And we sign posters and stuff. But God bless you all. We love you. Thank you for supporting us on Patreon,

patreon.com slash Lemon Party for a bonus episode every week. If you haven't signed up, it's a lot of fun over there. That's where we're actually going right now and we usually, that's where we really. Our first stop on the tour is the Patreon. Right folks? Patreon. Isn't that a little nice one? Patreon California.

Patreon California, which is in San Francisco, I believe Patreon. It probably is. I imagine it is. Hopefully they don't come to this live show. Yeah. Hopefully they don't come. Yeah, that live show's gonna be interesting because it's in a real rich, white area, I think.

That's awesome. Mill Valley. That's great. I think. I wanna go to wherever the guy fucked the fat lady in Sideways. That's where I want to go. That's That's in Solvang, I believe the the ribs the rib place. Yeah, I've always wanted to go to that rib place I'm going to go soon. Is that by like San Luis Obispo? It's on the drive It's like you got to go through all those like like corny like it's like Los

Oliva's German towns and whatever where they're like, yeah, there's like just What is it wheel mills? Mills everywhere? The windmill in. Windmills, yeah. Is there like a tour guide where he's like, here's where he fucked the lady who was really fat. And you go, here's the fat lady.

Probably is their claim to fame. It's like the rush hour Chinese restaurant. Like this is where Thomas Hayden Church fucked the fatty. This is where the driver from Mighty Duck showed his dick when he ran out of that house. You're like, whoa. Wow. Whoa.

Whoa. So his dick was right here slapping. Slapping. As he ran. Such a great casting for that scene in Sideways with that dick. And they're like, tell me, did he fluff before the take? You can tell me.

I won't tell anybody. Dude, guys that old, that's what their penises and balls look like. I've seen tell anybody do this guys that old that's what their penises and balls look like I've seen that it looks like that what when you've never seen dad's taking balls like recently I even see his dick and balls probably since I was like oh yeah back when he was yeah you were kidding he forced you to take a ballpoint hammer to it this This is the only way you come. He I would see my dad get out of the shower all the you didn't see that get out of the shower.

I did. It's a cat. Yeah, I thought you meant recently. I mean, they would make me and Jace bathe together naked till we were like nine years old. I thought last week you saw it is what you're saying. Me and Jace went to get in a bath together. Like I was like nine and seven.

I remember looking at like, what the fuck is this? I don't actually remember that, be honest with you weird thing with kids I'd say with my sister and my little brother and Jason we'd all be in this disgusting bath like filled with shit You remember that? I guess I blocked it out. I don't remember it at all Remember bathing up and together and up until like fourth grade. No, I think I deleted it. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense I got nothing. I got nothing. Sorry. Right idea. Yeah, I pushed it down. Sorry, buddy I think our little brother breastfed till he's like seven. I do remember that. Yeah, but now we're getting insane It's like crazy I know we gotta leave a couple secrets for us

We're not really here you were never really here Jays. Mm-hmm great pedophile movie Yeah, yep, and also wise philosophical saying you were never really here, Jace. Great pedophile movie. Yep. Yep. And also, a wise philosophical saying. You were never really here. What's that about the Epstein list, folks? Oh. Hey.

Hey. Wow. Excellent, Jace. Excellent. Great work. Patreon.com slash living party. Thank you guys. We're heading over to the Patreon now, and we will see you guys next week. Bye. Bye When I see the beams of those who are G-Lines

I know every single we play tonight We make the people just bathe in the light Just bathe in the light Bathe in the light I got something here that you don't ever want to turn down I got something for your mind, your body and your soul Every day of my life, every day of my life Machines are great but The best when they come to life

Hey ya You can't burn your finger off The pulse of your life There's nothing to touch and there's nothing to hold Am I so truthful or intrusive? Is the use just getting old more? In places where the things can do the job better Replaced it with the things that you need to drop better I'm so like you, see? Like there's something for your part On your soul Every day of my life

Every day is my life Every day is my life Every day is my life Every day is my life Every day is my life I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man

I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna be a man I'm gonna be a man, I'm gonna to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a You know what I mean, you know what I mean, you know what I mean, you know what I mean, Feel it now Feel it now Feel it now Feel it now Feel it now This is where the things will get drunk better This is where the things will get drunk better This is where the things

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