lemonparty - 146: Tesla Diner

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

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All right. Chicken, one, one, chicken beans. One, one, chick, one, chicken beans. Yeah, you like my outfit, don't even make the deal. I thought you said you had so, girl, I'm on the light, be. Always in my face, talking listening. Girl, I end the rest of these for the cat-knack. All right.

good great we can make content now we're good cool that's just gonna have to be the can we make dumb jokes now yeah okay should we stop saying the N word now okay we're good how much a battery do you have how much juicy you got phone is that like a hundred no you're the car no the damn car is the automobile 75% oh wait hold on hold on hold on let me uh take wait hold on hold on let's start series recording the podcast

okay Tesla take me to the Tesla diner yeah this this should be in the system command not understood they know exactly what you're talking about right it says command not understood it goes please don't

the Tesla goes please don't do that don't use me for content the Tesla Elon throws Teslas in ovens are we on by the way yeah but you know what I realize I want to get the new gronk No I feel I feel like

these Teslas are afraid. The fact that the Tesla didn't immediately take you to the Tesla diner, it's like, this Tesla thinks like you're taking it to like, like, uh, like, uh, like, deco. Yeah, yeah, car dacow. Car dacow. This is a fucked up. Can you order food on the app where you, on the, on the screen? Were you like,

hey, can I get like the worst breakfast sandwich of all time? Yeah, well, we, well, we do the podcast, can you play family guy clips for me to watch? No, no, I'm realizing I'm not the kind of Tesla that even knows how to do that on the Tesla. I don't like, I don't, how do I get sexy grok on here i don't know you're the just say something hey grok devvin can you google how

to get sexy grok on the tesla i don't even know my phone is buddy guess how many people are at the tesla diner right now how many 30 there's four people it says okay great let's go kill all it's been a big hit it's like it's like uh so the tesla diner kind of sounds like it's the place where it's like the equalizer starts where it's like denzel washington like meets like a hooker that's being like, like, has had the worst, like, raping week of her life. Yeah, Denzel's like, my fat Hispanic co-worker drove me to the Tesla diner because he's retarded. And I saw this rushing teenager getting fucked in her ass. There's four people at the Tesla diner right now.

They're probably all jacking off. It's probably like a midnight cowboy type thing. Yeah, that's... So it says right here we get order ahead. They're like, I'm fucking... I'm fagging here. I came here to fuck Grock. Can you bring out GROC so I can fuck it?

There's four people of this. Isn't this Tesla, isn't this Tesla don't are like a big deal? Supposedly, it's all over the damn news. It says there's only four stalls of 80 being used right now, which is crazy because also superchargers are just in demand. You know, Devin, the one by your place, it's always packed. I really thought we were...

There's not a supercharger in my neighborhood. You have to go to Glendale. Yeah, you have to go to Glendale. I really thought we were going to pull up to the Tesla down. I was going to look like American graffiti. like there's a bunch of cool teens and hot rods and stuff yeah right it's sexy little robot it's uh it's it's not it's a nazi diner no i guess i guess uh we're in the cringe car now it's all cringe no i mean it used to be cool going hop in with your friends go down to the tesla diner watch a looney

tunes have a milkshake watch a nickel oean of a black guy getting killed for a nickel oh my vodka shooter fell out of my pocket whoops Did you guys bring drinks in the car? Yeah. I had an open container, but I finished it before we took off. I'm definitely going to open a container in your Ben. So I don't really care about you. We're definitely going to get you sent to jail.

I don't really care about you or your family. Because we have terrible addictions. Your future is meaningless to me. Yeah, I drove to the liquor store on the way up. I got five vodka shooters. Kevin's got one of them. Truly could care less about your future. I'll end you.

We kind of actually resent you for having something to live for. And so we want to take that away from you. You're the one that wants to do this whole Tesla diner thing. So it's like, yeah, hey, enjoy it. There's a lady, the lady in a wheelchair right there with the most crippled legs I've ever seen. Yes, that's, uh, we're looking at like a, uh, lady has crazy straw. Robert Rodriguez woman in a, in a, in a, in a wheelchair. That's so unfortunate.

That woman has hollow legs. You could drink milk through her legs like a straw. She's pushed up the hill by a fuck boy. Why are they, choose places without hills? That's crazy. He also left his fucking, uh... We're watching Rose McGowan be pushed across the street.

Oh. Lieutenant Fran. Over the window. Oh, he's like you talking to this guy. He just, he just pushed her. He's moving her. He's leaving her. He just pushed her into the, a boy.

And he goes, you, you figure it out. That's insane. And that's she just, she's just gaining speed down the hill. Oh, my God. Yeah. She's gaining speed. She's really going. Her legs flapping in the wind, like little ribbons.

Oh, but. Good, this building is for PETA, so the animals at least are safe. That building has been for PETA for about, like, 10 to 15 years, and they don't do anything in it. How about a PETA for that lady? Where's PETA for her? I know, exactly. How about you care about if I can paralyze women? I've never seen a horse dragging itself around with, like, its lame legs on the road.

Yeah, yeah. Peter should kill her with a shotgun. Can you kill those people real quick? Can you kill this hipster lady in the Beetle-chew shirt? Real quick, can you just drive into those people? beautiful silver lake silver lake we're now crossed the border

where it's like people say that they live in silver lake but it's like this suck shit what is the neighborhood actually this is kind of like Westlake now and it's like bad Westlake does suck Westlays suck shit

when I was moving back here after getting COVID I almost got a place in Westlake and I'm pretty sure I would have hung myself in that apartment There's no point living here because you don't you can walk into the cool stuff but it's like no this is the hood

Yeah, yeah, no, you live in a black hole inside L.A. People don't even know Westlake exists. You live in an apartment complex that overlooks the 101. You look in a box that stops drive-by shootings from killing you. That's what you live inside of. A shield. Yes. A human shield.

Yes. Yeah, Westlake sucks ass. Where is this Tesla diner been? Where is it up? Where are we going tonight? Hollywood. Of course. Hollywood.

Hollywood. Costa, by the way, Costa, he's in the big McCusker, cartoon he's leaving us all behind here on the Reddit yeah blow through that red beautiful I just blew through a red light it's good those red lights are meaningless

I love when like I love one in LA that have they have a red light that like it goes hey you're not allowed on the freeway yet you could go on the freeway whenever you want it doesn't matter yeah do you remember the comic we knew who came up this one time he's like hey I got a life hack for you guys and we're like what he's like those

lights to get on the freeway you can just ignore those and we're like oh okay and he's like and by the way I drunk drive all the time

I love that guy you know who we're talking about yeah you know exactly who we're talking about he used to he used to have a solo cup in the front seat

full of booth and he would drive families around I think you just called a time traveling he's like you do an hour chef with Uber

you got a LA accent back you don't remember any of he's like I just just drove a Chinese family to West Covina. I fucking hit everything on the way.

It was crazy. By the way, I sound exactly like him. You do a great impression of him. Those red lights you can just drive right through it. You can drive right through him and drunk drive a Chinese family to West Covina. Anyway, I'm a sex addict. Yeah. I had sex with a 97-year-old woman in San Diego once.

I drove just through the night. I was like, fuck it. I'm going to fuck this other one. Yeah, I used to live with Chase with a crazy Chinese guy who tried. You lived with him. For a year. I lived with him and a crazy Chinese guy

with a shaved head who tried to kill us every night when he got drunk. Dude, you woke up in the house from fucking weapons. I did. You woke up in the house

from weapons. I woke up one night, bare ass, ass sticking in the wind. And I look over the, I go, there's something in my room and I look over my shoulder.

I see a bald Chinese guy hammered just standing over my bed like he was in fucking weapons. And I go, I was like, I was like, Derek, get to fuck it out. out of here. He's like, oh, sorry. And then he just

Chineseily walked out of the apartment. You did live with an insane Chinese man. Yeah, he Chineseily walked out of my room. What'd you say, Devin? No, Jace lived with an insane Chinese man. That was actually crazy. In Korea Town, ironically. I lived with a crazy Chinese man. And then one night we This guy didn't know where he was. No, I lived to, it was him and three of the comics. And then one day

we figured out that he had been lying to us about the rent. We didn't know it was a rent control department. he was like the only guy on the original lease and so he'd just been collecting like a thousand bucks from us a month in like overcharges so one guy moved out in the middle of the night and they were like

oh fuck we're gonna have to cover his rent and then I moved out in the middle of the next night and just like and fucked over that Chinese guy but whatever fuck him no it's like yeah yeah the Chinese can do karate do you get out of anything they're fine

yeah he sent me a bunch of like fucking tax through his you know his Google Pixel or whatever he had. His fucking Samsung Fortune Cookie. Yeah, he called me to tell me to download WhatsApp so he could text me angry stuff about leaving. He goes, get a plus one area code for WhatsApp and send it to me.

Well, you have Mexican family members you need to talk to. But that was good times, good times. My room was completely blue. I remember that. It was blue like a big marble, like a big blueberry. A woman piqued all over you in there. No, that was her. That was her apartment where she peed all over me.

Oh, okay. She called it squirting, but it was piss. She pissed all over my fucking body. Yep, that's disgusting. That's the thing. That's the thing with drunk women. Jason, you need Catholicism. They will often do that.

Go on, Devon. Sorry. I had a friend that was going to college. I had a friend that was going to college in Colorado, and he woke up one night, and there was a woman, like, barbarian style, like, pissing on him. That he didn't know? He, like, vaguely knew. It was, like, at the house that night to, like, try.

to fuck somebody else and she wandered into his room and she was crouching over his over his legs and pissing on his bed and it was a big deal and he didn't know how to deal with it because he's a good guy that doesn't understand how to like talk to people

that I've pissed on him you know yeah because he's a good guy because in a normal situation like if it was a frat guy who'd just been like oh jackpotty exactly no he's like I'm waking up to my I'm like what do you talk like I fucking I'm like coaching the team Like, what is your, there's a, there's a, an insane woman that is, uh, it crouched like a demon from hell.

Standing at my knees and, and crouching and pissing on me. Dude, we get, we get a Mexican guy staring into the car. He won't look away. Like, fucking look away, buddy, we're fucking pocket. Well, he thinks we're freestyling right now. That's the copy. Wait, wait, where? To the right.

To the right. To the right. He probably thinks we're like an ice. In the cherry red car. Oh, look at him go. Is he really, is he really glaring at us? Or, like, that's the color of MAGA. Roll with it on, Jay's.

No, I don't. Ask him a couple questions. If the guy's mean mugging me, I don't want to roll the one. He's not mean mugging us. He's just kind of, like, like, mentally ill. He won't stop staring at you, by the way, Jay's. He's staring directly at the side of him. I'm not looking at it.

That's crazy, actually. What a nut job that guy is. He covered his car in Red Die 40 is autism out the ass. That guy was shaped like a diamond. Driving a Toyota Ruby's cube. His head was a diamond. A fucking rhombus. That guy's nuts.

That guy hates us. Yeah, it was a Mexican guy. His head got crushed in the tortilla press when he was a kid. Now he's all retarded. He's mad at us. I'm looking for bikini bottom. Hey, what's up? I'm the Mexican fish from bikini bottom.

I fucking, I do the dishes at the crusty crab. I'm the fucking one Mexican guy in bikini bottom. Yeah, that they give no storylines, too. Mm-hmm. This is illegal, but I'm going to down. a little thing of... Well, for the camera, just say it's like, you know... Water and a vodka shooter.

I'm going to down some water. Some nice fire water. Whatever. As the engines would call it. It's not illegal if it did in your stomach. It's really bad water. That water sucks. I've done this drive many times, folks. I've done this

drive many times. Is the Tesla driving, by the way? Or are you driving? Ben's driving right now. I got my foot on that gas. You lost FSD, right? Yeah, you can't pay for it, you broke fuck. Sad, pathetic.

If I had this card, I'd fucking pay for FSD all the time. But you have little children. Oh, I gotta raise my kid. Oh, my kid needs moments. Oh, my giant children need a lot of food. Oh, my kid hasn't even developed parts of his brain, but I have to pretend that he remembers things.

They don't. They don't remember anything. Keep them in a room like veal I would keep my children in a room like veal till they're five duct tape them to a bed How about that? And feed them yams. Every birthday I come into a dark room

and go, yeah, happy birthday! Only three more before you see the sky, buddy. But by the way, I'm woke, so I walk into the dark room and I go, happy birthday, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. And then you go, that's what black people say. I go, that's what black people say. Try to keep up, and I slam the door, and he'd be stuck in the darkness.

That's why he thinks he's black, because he, like, lives in blackness. Yeah, he's only seen black. He thinks you're black. All he's ever seen is black hair. He thinks you're a dark black shadow. Exactly. That's what I would do. That's what I do my little fucking street rats that I have.

Why does the inside that Yoshinoa look like an enterprise, by the way? Do they even have food? They might be enterprises. There's only one sign on the door, and it says EBT. There's no advertisement for food. You don't know there's food in there. Yoshinoi is the only place you can rent a car. Like, it's a...

You can rent a car, and it comes with a terriaki ball. You have to be 25 years old to eat at Yoshinoa. Yeah, they go, sir, this stuff is not actually food, so you have to be over 25 to sign or at least to eat it. We need two forms of ID. Yeah. We need insurance. Have you guys ever...

Have you guys ever... Have you guys ever eaten out of Yoshinoa? Yeah, back in the day. Yeah, I ate it at one time. It ate it at one time I was completely hammered and I walked in. There was a homeless guy doing a Tasmanian devil spins all around. Like, the guy in Eddette. creating a mini

tornado within the restaurant doing like a mini tornado and I have to like walk I have to like step over I'm like a bug and I go can I get the can I get the meatball With sauce What Shanoia is so insane they have like There's like you like a broccoli ball with beef And you go is this did you

Did you chop that plant out front Like the weed Is this even broccoli? Is this even broccoli My broccoli ball is DDT in it The stuff that killed Eagles Eggs Did you say something about, like, it's a homeless shelter at Evan or something?

Yoshinoa? Yeah, yeah. Yochanoia and donut shops, they have done more for homeless people than the church has. In L.A. Whoa. Very cool black guys. So we're on Tangerine Street right now. That guy saw Kendrick at the pop-out concert, and he's got the same gay pants on.

That's insane. So black guys dressed like that now? No. Just that black guy. I think that black guy is like homeless. He was wearing, he probably was homeless. But he was wearing big. Well, every black guy looks better than a white person.

Those are ridiculous pants, but yeah, they all went. He's probably homeless because he spent all his money on his stupid fucking jeans. That's not true. A lot of black people, they just wear, like, slides. Hey, look at us. Look at us. We're like, we're, we're approaching, we're about to approach the, uh, the street corner where, um, Tangerine starts.

I said we were in Tangerine. Oh, yeah. We used to live right over here. This is Treyho's tacos. Treyos tacos right there. And look, there's a, Now it's like Trejo's Donuts, and then there's an HIV Stigma sucks, HIVCare.org. It's like, you know, we're approaching West Hollywood.

Yeah, we used to get, I think it's East Hollywood, but we used to live here with a gay man who got fucked in the ass every night loudly. This is why comics. What he did. It was literally, he got it fucked loudly. Like, the sound of meat hitting the walls of his ass was loud. One time he'd be like, I can't hear you in your life. He said, I'm like, yeah, that's, I'm like, yeah.

That's intentional. It's the Tesla diner. Tesla, oh, Tesla diner took over Astro? Jeez. Yo, this used to be Astro diner. This used to be the Astro diner. Yeah, you got a circle around. It looks like it's popping, Ben.

Oh, it's full of people. There's not four people here. These motherfuckers, they're fucking. I guess they lied to me. They're doing acoustic, Erica. Oh, it says because all the stalls are out of order. It says, look, it's listing like 80 stalls that are out of order. It's telling you the stalls are out of order.

I don't know if we'll get a spot in the Tesla diner. Holy shit. Oh my God, we can't get in. I don't think we can get a spot. Holy fuck. This used to be the astro diner. Yeah, this is Ice's recharge station. It wasn't even an astro diner.

It was an astro. Ben, cut this guy off. What are you doing? Well, he's been in line. Go ahead. Cut him off, Ben. I'm podcasting. No, Ben, move.

They have Asper. Crash into him. What are you doing? Why don't you let that fucking asshole cut us off? What are you doing? He drove from Massachusetts to be here tonight. No, fuck. Fuck these people.

And now there's a guy we have to check in with, too. No, we don't. I don't know what. Some guy named Jigrat. It's going to fucking talk about it. Give it down, Devin, keep it down. Go down to the right. All right.

Okay. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that completely vague hand motion that you just gave us. You fucking shouldn't have a job. You fucking loser. Oh, damn it, Devin. Jesus Christ. What if he gets run over by a car and, like, wires and smoke come out?

He's a hard. Thanks, thanks for Thanks for that Thanks for thanks for just like Just like You just like you just The guy just like fucking pointed his hand At a general direction

Thanks thanks for that Great work Yeah We're gonna park next to a lady Who's touching herself I actually hate this This is insane Why is there a line of people

This is so proud of Ben Can you kill that kid? Hit him hit him hit that kid I don't think there's a spot There's no spots There's no spots Ask this guy Ask this guy

Where do we park Hey do you guys have any parking left Oh back there Okay got you So I've passed the parking Okay You gotta back up You gotta back up

Do you think The guys who pull in here With cyber trucks Are like the big dick fuckers around here They're like the jocks of the Tesla diner 100% Like that guy gets out And people just points to his cock

And they have to start sucking it off There's a lot of cyber trucks There did you not order us food On the app before? I was driving, but I told you guys This is a really long line Hold on, this is my parking spot here. We're not allowed to do this.

No, I'm parking. I'm parking back here. I don't think you're going to fit there, dude. You're going to fuck your car up. I'm right there behind. See, that lady's trying to take it. Oh, behind. Behind. Oh, behind. Okay. Yeah, right there. All right, we're in here. Okay, so you guys keep the show going because I got to put the supercharger in so we can secure a spot, and then we got to order.

We got to order. Okay. Let's order some food. Let's see what this is like. this is uh we're looking at a diner that shaped uh kind of like the UFO from i imagine everyone inside the diner is shooting a man that looks like larry david can i just order food in my car yes it's on the app isn't it it's on the it's on the it's on the you have a big screen yeah the app is the app is asking you what you want or we're looking at it now it's a giant it looks like the the space tower yeah it looks it kind of looks like a like a tomorrow land from yeah exactly But it's like, but everyone's in line

And that's really sad of them They should all be killed Yeah, there's white guys wearing some of the worst clothing I've ever seen in my life This is wild There's a... So I will say it's kind of... I'll say it's kind of bullshit, by the way

Ben, look, your fucking Tesla's immediately loaded the menu. See, it's showing you what you want. It naturally loaded the menu. What if we... What if we get three tuna melts? Holy shit, it immediately loaded where we were. If you just take a short video, you can send it to me while we're ordering here.

I can sing it up. So what do they have? By the way, I've heard the food is like the worst thing there is. What do you boys want? It goes through the test lap. It goes to all through the test lap, so it's free. They got a cup of Wagyu beef chili. I heard the grilled cheese is like completely burned when you get it.

Oh, they got milkshakes. Like it's on fire. Chocolate milkshake. I love there's no prices listed because it's probably. It costs $85. Oh, there you go. Oh, it's interesting. Vanilla is the first one that you can get.

I wonder why that is. If you order chocolate, they actually make you leave. They shut your app down. Does anyone want Wagyu beef chili? No. No, not really. No. What else did they have?

They got a hot dog where the hot dog is way too fucking long for the bun. Found drinks. They have found drinks that look kind of like shit. They have orange soda, no grape soda, I've noticed. Hmm. There's so many children here, which is insane. Yeah, it seems to be mostly 19-year-olds who are coming here to eat. This is like a complete, no, there's like little children here.

Oh, yeah, and then a retarded parents with their little children. They're little retarded children. This is wild. There's two Asian Mennonites walking in front of us. So I was told we could watch a movie, though. Like it's a drive-in? Oh, I guess we get a free. So if I switch here, we get a free movie.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I called it. They're trying to make the place look like Close Encounters. Or Iron Man, too. That's the, oh, Iron Man, too. And 2001 is Space Odyssey, because you're really going to, you know. Right. This is how he, Cuba contended for you to watch it.

Elon's kind of smart. He likes 2001. Nobody else likes that. They remade the pianist where he gets killed. The penis, but it's one minute. Yeah, exactly. It's like three minutes long. It's just the scene where that lady in the roller shuts.

It's a chew. These are the worst people alive. Oh, my God. If you've never seen that, by the way, and it's a Jew, the pianist, and a Google and watch the same window. Hey, how was it, guys? Really good? What'd you guys get?

Sure. What type of Tesla do you guys have? Model Y? What year? $425. Oh, my God. You guys got the cool one. Holy shit. So you guys, what did you? You guys ordered? You guys enjoyed the food?

yeah okay cool that's pretty sick do you guys what are your thoughts on Jewish people you don't know no I know

there are new there are new species it's okay enjoy your night enjoy your night I mean you know Jews it's hard to tell what they are

they didn't they said we don't know what a Jew was We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. That's the most anti-Semitic thing you could say is you deny the existence of Jews.

It would be better if you said more should have been killed because at least you'll say we know what they are. Devin, I'm getting a cream soda. Of course. I am amazed at the amount of Mexicans here, by the way. It is mostly Mexicans. Mexicans are the most racist people in the face of the era. That's true. I just didn't think they had Tesla money.

No, to be fair, though, to be fair though. They're like $300. They're so cheap. Tesels are the cheap. his car on her. It's a sign that you're a poor at return. Devin, where do they fit their lawnmowers and mobs? There's not that, they don't have that trunk space.

They need a very old Toyota truck. So, Jay's looks, it says, so by the way, there's a big app with the picture of burger because it's burger economy, and then order place to the Tesla that are now. You can watch a movie. Okay. We got Twilight Zones, Star Trek the next generation. Should I put on Iron Man 2? Yeah, put on the worst Iron Man movie so we can watch it.

Hey, did you enjoy your food? Did, what did you get tonight? I hate this so much. Devin's talking to a child. We're going to get reported for child rape, molestation. All right. These kids are clapping. I don't even know what to do.

What kids are clapping? What did you guys, what'd you guys order? What did you guys order tonight? We just, knowing the place. You're just trying to try it out. You have a Tesla hoodie on. You're a big Tesla. You're a big Tesla.

Tesla girl. You have a Tesla diner hoodie on. That's incredible. What's going on with you guys? You guys look too, you guys look like way too brown to, like, really love Elon Musk. It's kind of crazy. What are you guys like, Iranian?

No, Mexicans. You're Mexican. You're Mexican. Do you know he, like, kind of would be okay with you guys, like, being thrown to the curb? Why do you say that? I'm kidding. I love him. We're in his car.

He does great work I love him It is amazing It is amazing right It is amazing What should we order for food What should we order? What should we order?

I don't know You guys didn't even order food Oh my God Do you guys have a Tesla? You better have a Tesla Jesus Christ You're from Mexico How many charges are there in Mexico?

I don't There's a lot of charges in Mexico? Really? Yeah. Interesting. You guys live in Mexico? Yeah, Mexico City. Oh, my God.

Oh, Mexico City. You're from Mexico City. So you're not... How are you doing, how you doing, kid? You're a good guy. Oh, my God. So you guys are... Everyone's Mexican here.

Are you able to be here legally? How long? How long is the... legality of this because I I know no our great our leader like doesn't like you guys being here too long I don't think legally in the United States legally you guys wait wait you guys better get home soon don't worry you guys yeah you guys understand you're not allowed to be here too long you guys better be yeah I understand you like enjoy the fucking breakfast sandwich but like get the fuck out.

Enjoy you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. God bless you guys. You're uh, you're fucking doing nothing but hurting our country. Roll that window up. Roll that window up. Don't you crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy. You're actually crazy. I love you. Oh my God. I know. That was amazing. I know. I wish I could do that and not immediately. I immediately feel like I'm shitting out my spine. No, I'm just, like, fascinated.

I'm like, why do you guys, like, they're supporting the deadline? No, this is confirming the whole thing, David. I'm fucking, I'm like, they're just fans of the robot. I'm fucking around, guys. I'm fucking around. Like, I'm just, like, I was getting confused. I'm like, why are they so into this? But that's why I felt comfortable asking this question.

Because I'm like, well, if you are here, you better, you bet you definitely understand that you only have a set amount of time. They do, though. Do we got... Is this us? Yeah, I think this is us. Ask him if he's allowed to be here. How's it going? Oh, beautiful.

Thank you. Perfect. Diet Coke and a cream soda, yeah. Thank you, sir. Thank you, man. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Do you ever deliver food to people that you think, like, maybe shouldn't be in this country?

I mean, I deliver food to people from all walks of life. But do you ever, do you ever, like, deliver food to somebody? And you go, maybe I should fucking, like, call, like, ice about these, these guys. No, my views are simple. We all have beans. We all need water and food to survive, right? You're a good person. No problem, man.

I understand that. But, you know, sometimes some very dirty people show up here. It could be, you know. Oh, did you guys order food or no? No, just drinks. No, just the drinks, yeah. Appreciate it. God bless you, sir.

God bless you. I'm fucking around. You're a good guy. I just said sometimes very dirty people come here. He said everybody eats food and drinks water. Everybody gets to have food until they're putting the camp. This is maybe the worst diet Coke I've ever had. Guys, you guys were actually, you guys were asking like I was being insane?

Was I being that crazy? No, you're not being insane. It's more. You have to ask them these questions. No, Devin, you're being perfect. I'm saying. No one will ever ask them this. You can have to.

never asked them anything. Hey, are you guys allowed to be here? All right. Why are they okay with me? Dude, they're actually okay with me asking these questions. That's what's fucked up. They're like, they're conditioned. They've been conditioned.

They're must-ins. Chasey, baby. Chisy baby. Holy shit, this shit sucks. Benny, Benny, boy. Hey, Henny, Benny. These people are like completely conditioned to what's going on. No, no, no, Devon.

I just asked a random family if they're allowed to be here. And they go, yeah, we are. They're not offended by my question. We watched the Tesla people. Are you guys legal? Are you legal? You better be legal. Are you legal?

Are you illegal? You better be allowed to be here. Or we will fuck you up. You know what's funny? I'll send you to a camp, motherfucker. Oh, damn it. You know, we're thinking Devastco is being crazy right now. He's probably going to...

I'm being completely normal. No, but you're going to get like an ICE job offer in the mail. I know I'm going to get a... They're going to, like, track your face. I'm going to have a huge offer in the morning. They're like, we would love this guy to just boost morale amongst the troops because they drive a fucking U-Haul full of fucking chubby white guys with beards who look like me to kill Mexicans. Dude, turning points about to put a bunch of money behind us.

We're going to go to college campuses and say, We're going to deport everybody. Yeah, we've defeated woke on college campuses. We're going Charlie Kirk mode. This is awesome. Yeah, Devin's going to get so much super pack money donated to the Patreon. Dude, I don't think you guys understand what I'm doing for our pod right now. No, exactly.

You're a brave warrior. He's trying to help us out. You know, there's a million Tesla's parked over here. This is insane. I had no idea. It is so funny to be like, hey, you guys are in there like, we fucking love it here? Dude, in fucking, it's like your face just got scanned by a robot. Exactly.

And is getting sent to ice right now. The fact that every, not a single person, like, tried to fight me on my questioning. No, not at all. I was saying. I don't think they know, dude. I was saying incredibly offensive things to people. And they had not a, they didn't have a clue. That is the great thing about the Mexican people is you can be like, are you like a fucking cockroach?

I was looking at people and they're like, are you guys like beaners? And they're like, yeah? Yeah, we love beans. That's why they call us that. But we're fucking here, and we love Tesla. And we're hunting down every day like rats. But we fucking love it. Why were they all okay with me doing that?

That's nuts. Well, Devin, we always watch the Tesla fanatic videos, and all of them have no idea what's going on politically. Because they're in this Silicon Valley tech cult, where they just worship Elon, and they worship the cars. and they're obsessed with the cars and the car news. They think tech is the new god, like, legitimate. Like, we will create a new god through AI, those type of guys.

Yeah. And Devin would show me videos of Tesla fans going to protest, and they were just smiling so confused why people were, like, protesting the vehicle. They're just massive, like, tech fans. They just, like, they're like, but don't you guys understand it? Like, the new Tesla can, like, drive itself? Yeah, they're like, guys, the chat GBTF5 is coming out soon. It's going to change the game.

These are simple people, man. They just love, like, and do phones. Also, the top is, uh, it's got a little punch-in hole. Very hard straw. Very hard. The soda's really bad. It's really bad soda. The so's very bad.

I got to, I got to be honest, I do kind of like the top. It's, uh, it's stupid and sucks, but I kind of like it. Well, we're fascists. We're, we're going to, we got to go back there and run over some, uh, blacks, Mexicans. I think I saw some Venezuelans. Yeah, there was a guy. Honestly, yeah, there was a lot of different people. Black guy with an afro working security at the Tesla.

Don't like that. Yeah, they're not like that. Don't like that. There was a lot of people. You better be a robot, motherfucker. A lot of people from different places there, and that upset me a lot. No, we're going to go, we're going to go back there. We're going to hurt people.

I don't, I don't enjoy the fact that, like, oh, there's a Costa Rica in there. Unbelievable of you. We're coming back with a moving truck full of ice and boys. I'm sorry. I'm really upset that your father is like a really, like, a really, like, is a tree your father's like a beautiful tree I'm sorry you come

from a hundred years of solitude I hate that I'm sorry your life has been magical realism your whole life I hate that about you I hate that about you No I hate these people I've been told to hate these people

Oh yeah shit Demme can eat my drink for a Of course of course James Is this the Patreon or the I think this has got to be the main app right Ben I'm fucking talking to Tesla diners I think it's the fucking man I think it's the fucking man

Maybe it's not the main What's up fucking numnuts Did you two bitch sloppers Just go to motherfucking Tesla diner You are some three crazy amigosos huh Did you just call a bunch of Mexican people beaners And tell them to get out of your fucking country Because they're dirty

I love Grock AI GROC AI right now Grog is best Grog's bass You got no. Grog is biased. What's up, you freaking fart knockers? Please enjoy a shitty burger and watch Deadpool 3 on your phone.

And, dude, those people are talking to that voice in their car and having the best time. Grog A.I. is calling them beaners in their Tesla. They're like, Grock, drive me to fucking ice and deport me. Whatever you say, you bean nuggets. I talk to three different families. They all like Mexican families They were all kind of

obnoxiously on our side On what we were pretending to be They were all like on our side They probably thought we were like with Channel 5 or something Do you think so? From what I could hear Devin it looked like they had no idea Who the president of the United States was Oh that's also true

But like but they were like totally into like what I was saying I was like hey guys you guys are like worthless people right And you guys are uh you guys should be in camps And they were like Yeah Oh, definitely. Definitely. And I'm like, all right, Ben, drive off.

Definitely. Can I just say one thing? God bless the USA. And God bless President Grover Cleveland. I hope Grover Cleveland deports my family. Sorry, I got to do the ad real quick. Can you put it? Is there a cup holder back there?

What are you guys doing? Yeah, yeah, there is. I got to do an ad real quick. Are you guys? Hey, guys. Well, we have been drinking. I'm going to put my. bottle of Tito's.

Oh, yeah, yeah. My child's. It's going to look like your baby's like You're going to forget to get it later. It's going to look like your baby's been drinking Tito's. Which is adorable. Which is awesome. And it's a little bottle too, so it's going to look like they're an adult trunk.

It's a nice little baby bottle. You do like a photo shoot with that. Drinking vodka named after a Mexican man and saying I'm going to deport you. I'm going to deport you, Tito. Thank you for the vodka. Thanks, buddy. But you're finished. You're finished.

Get back to those potato fields to make my vodka. Hey, Don Julio, I got a net for you. By the way, love your stuff. Hey, love this stuff. You love the way you chop up cactus and burn them underground to make liquor, but you're going to get beheaded. Sorry. And I got to say, hey, guys, if you love ice and Mexican people being deported at the Tesla

diner, try out the perfect gene. Perfect gene is used by every ice agent. agent who is kicking a Mexican guy in the teeth. I'm going to throw this out the window because I'm really worried about Ben getting caught later. With the bottle? Yeah. Yeah. Throw it out the window.

I just threw it out the window. It didn't break. It just, I think it's rolling with us. It just bounced. It's going to care. It's going to follow us the entire night. Anyway, go on with the ad. Yes, of course.

God, you people with your ads. Summer's flying by, and it's almost time for pants season. Devin, I'm trying to talk about pants season. No, it's amazing. pants. I'm sure they're the best pants of the time. What do you guys get a new grift? Jesus Christ. Anyway, go on. It's amazing. The human experience is amazing because

I'm reading an ad for the perfect gene while I'm driving past homeless people on fentanyl. Yeah. I just think life's beautiful. Perfect G. The perfect bed. The floor. What do you guys start making, like, rooms? There's a lot of people out there suffering, perfect

gene. Well, if they had the perfect gene, they would have a job. That's true. That's true. They want to be lazy. You're right. This fall, you need jeans that are stretchy durable and comfortable. It's time for the perfect gene. With waist sizes from 26 to 52, lakes from 26 to 38, and six different fits to choose from. Your pants will look and feel like they were made just for you. I love you so much. I love you too, buddy. Spitting me like I'm a dog at the dog shelter. You're a beautiful maniac. The fact that you can do that is your beautiful maniac.

If me and Jay started doing that, people would get so concerned. He's two very tall white. People would chase us with like flames like we were Frankenstein's monster. No, we gotta get back to this. We gotta get back to that. Devin, I want to let you know that the perfect gene sent me a mini pair. I wear them all the time. I wear the perfect jeans as well.

It's the most comfortable pant I've ever put on. It's very comfortable. And I said this last episode, but it's perfect for jacking off because it's very silky smooth. Yes. And it stretches so you can wrap your hand around your cock through your pants and jack off through it. It's fantastic. So do you need to dress... Trump burger.

We're going to deport Trump Burger. Trump Burger economy. Need to dress it up a little more? Throw on a pair of the Denkakis. They've got everything you already love about their jeans, but in a Chino-style fabric. So they're a little more polished while keeping all the comfort. So stop crushing your balls and uncomfortable jeans. Head to the perfect gene.

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Fuck your khakis. And get the perfect jean. Fuck your khaki's get the perfect gene. All right, let's move on. Enough of that. Unbelievable of them. I can do that soda back from you, Devin. Jace, here's your soda.

Thank you, buddy. Mm-hmm. Y'all see the libs are mad because of burger. Y'all see the lips? Lips got real mad at the burger. Lips are crying because I just ordered chicken fingers for $40. Hey, y'all see the libs are mad because the fraternity girls are dancing and the sorority girls are dancing.

Did you all those women at TCU I tried to rape are dancing outside the sorority? And meanwhile, I'm digging a hole underneath the break in the night and grab them like a moth man. I reckon the libs are mad by that one. Libs are mad. I'm going to steal all these women in the night like crampus. Lips are furious. Lips are furious over that.

I'm going to snatch women up like a fucking Germanic folklore. I'm Mephe Stifles, Mother Frum. I'm Mr. Stoffleys. I'm going to nab children in the night and sell them to the devil. I'm some sort of faustian mythological figure. Uh-huh. I tell you what, the Libre mad that I'm in hand with San Francisco. freedom show

but no the new king of the hills great you guys check that out of the new king of the hills fantastic it's actually pretty good the new south parks have been amazing I haven't watched them because I heard they're living out so not for me Devon South Park is now making fun of politics for the first time ever so they're libs

because they're libs well Charlie Kirk is using them so I don't know how lib it is you know the White House is using the Homeland Security Twitter account is using South Park. Yeah, did you see J.D. Vance posts the, like, I'm finally, I finally made it because they made fun of them, like, he's in on the fucking joke.

No, the, the, the, the rights whole thing, apparently is to be like, hey, like, they're going to just, like, accept anything being made fun of them about, you know, so, like, they're going to be like, yeah, what do you have to say about that? We're, like, accepting it. Who cares? Yeah, J.D. Vance is going to show up in, like, a number one pedophile shirt pretty soon. Yeah. I mean, um, I don't know, man.

South Park's been fucking killing me. the last South Park at least the got your nut that that's like that's like a all time classic episode I haven't seen it I haven't seen I was crying I was like crying on my couch laughing it's a fucking fantastic episode I was like yes thank you man if people don't like Trey Matt I legitimately

think you should unsubscribe from this show I don't think you should listen to burn in hell kill yourself I don't be able to enjoy anything if you're not if you're not a fan of Trey Matt stop listening to us they're the greatest ever do it no one even actually comes close

yeah They're the best. They're the best to ever do it. If you don't like them, look at the mirror for a really, really, really long time and think a lot about all the decisions you've made that's made you come to this moment in your life where you're not enjoying South Park. Ben, I think you're being glib. And you don't think they've ever been fun. Ben, I think you're being a bit of a lib cuck. I think what you don't understand is that South Park was based until they made fun of the one thing I like.

And that means they're lame now. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, they still do it in a way where it's, like, hard to, like, it's hard to identify exactly, like, like, that's why the, that's why these, that's why, uh, they're still using it to their favor. What do you mean? They don't believe in anything, Kevin, so they don't care. They don't believe in anything. That's true. They don't believe it.

J.D. Vance was an orange man bad. It had never Trump or he's Hitler guy three years ago. He said Trump was Hitler. Yeah, he doesn't care. He doesn't believe in anything. It's like, where's the, it's making money. It's just making money Yeah Whatever man They're fucking

They're fucking so gay I mean you hope that there's a hell And so like Charlie Kirk And these people go But I mean It's not for anything they believe They actually don't believe in anything They manipulate people to make money

If Charlie Kirk went to hell He would be interviewing demons To own on YouTube We were just at the Tesla diner I asked multiple Mexican people I was like you guys think you guys You should like be killed And they were like yeah

I know that is the funny thing You think I should be fucking I should be fucking I should be fucking killed that is the funny thing you do turn on the news and it is like Mexicans and whites are at each other's throats and then you go like in real life and they're like yeah like you make some good points about like we're lazy and shit and like I hate my brown skin I tried to wash it off all the time when I was at key but it didn't work so fuck me yeah it's weird it's fucking strange it makes me strange feel odd but you know we're in a fucking tesla you know we're in the we're fucking we drove we're in a goddamn tesel right we went to the tesla diner tonight and a model y buddy boy model x oh sorry three actually three an x three no no no i don't even know what i'm talking about model three jace okay so it's that's the good one the model three it's the most uh it's the i think it's the i think it's the no the model y is actually the most purchased car in america the Model 3. Because it's the cheapest one? Yeah. No, no. The model the model Y is the, it's not the cheapest. It's actually more expensive than the three, but it's, um, but it's for like families and shit. And everyone is like secretly pretending that they don't like it. But apparently it's like the, it's the safest. It's the safest car. It's the Tesla burger. It's like the healthy car. It's a healthy car. It's a healthy car. It's a Tesla burger. Yeah, Trump Burger guy's getting,

deported. We ate a Trump burger. We went to... He's probably like, yeah, I'm getting deported. Fuck my ass. He goes, I'm a fucking stupid Puerto Rican fagg. Ain't nobody got a wetter back than me. Yeah, we go, aren't you Lebanese? He's like, yeah, fucking wet back. We're like, you swam across the land. He goes, whatever. Whatever.

Fuck my culture. He goes, I'm so fucking proud to be caught. I'm so proud to be caught. Caught live. about my hair. I'm so fucking excited about being caught. Yeah.

I'm a fucking, Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm a fucking sand negro. But brother, I put this Patagonia jacket on for three years. I had a hell of a run.

There's a lot of people out there, like, they think they like think they'll get away with being a sand negro. I love it. I love it. They caught me. They're going to skin me and kill me.

I got to tell you, it's fucking exciting. Send me to prison. I'll make Trump burgers there. Yeah. I'll fucking pound ramen together and make a Trump burger, motherfucker. I love everything going on right now. They just separated me from everyone I love.

I love it. I do love that they were like, it was just like a news article. They're like, yeah, he might be deported apparently. And then Homeland Security issued like a PR movie. He's like, oh, he's definitely getting deported. Don't worry. We've definitely got the Trump burger guy. He's going to hell.

We went to Trump Burger, what was it, two years ago? A year and a half ago. When we did the Austin shows, whenever that was, we went to Trump Burger. We went to Trump Burger about two years ago. A year and a half ago, we went to Trump Burger. It's outside of Houston. It's outside of Houston. It's in some weird suburb of Houston.

That's where we went. It's in the sticks. And yeah, you go in, there's Trump merchandise everywhere. There's a Lebanese man who looks like a pimp walking the counter. That's the guy who's getting deported. And he's the biggest fan of Trump of all time, but he's like a fucking, he's, you know, I wanted to look at him and go like, buddy, you're like my grandfather. Like, I'm Lebanese. Like, you're, you're, you're, are you a part of my family?

My family did its best to wash you out of its blood over time. We hate you. And then you, you, we looked at the menu and it was stuff called, it was called like the fuck Biden burger. Yep. And the Kamala Lize fries. Yes, exactly. And you walked up. There was a Biden burger, and it was like $400, which was very funny.

That is a good bet, actually. There was no meat on it. That is really, and the bun was really small. It's a no meat. And all the, all the vegetables were rotten. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. It's actually an amazing test.

It's a very funny job. They killed it. And honestly, they were completely correct. Yeah. It's unfortunate that Trump, like, fucked them over, but like, they were right at the time. I want to order the Epstein burger and see if they actually sent anything out on my right, fellas. Exactly. Maybe.

Maybe can't come here. They bring me an empty plate. Exactly. You know what I'm saying. They bring you a cow that kills itself. Yep. I say, if you can't come here and make burger legally, don't come here and make burger at all.

Mm-hmm. You got to come here and make burgers. He was good for the community because everybody in town forgot how to make burgers. And they made them illegal burgers. Make a right here. By the way, Tuka. I was trying to throw them off on where you live. Tucca Salamaka.

Tucca lives up there. that street. No, I know. I used to talk to Tuka. I've seen him in the neighborhood before. Tucko likes me. I'm trying to throw them off where you live, though, David, because they all track that shit on, like, Google Maps. He doesn't have the shaved head in his house, right? In real life? No, no, no. He works on, like, old cars all day. Yeah, but he has, like, kind of the, uh, his, he's, like, Malcolm X's hair before he converted to Islam. Yeah, yeah. No, you see, he still looks like Tuko, but he, like, he works on old cars all day, and he take, I, I've seen him, like, take it. He takes his child to, like, the Habit Burger, and I've

been there before and I've wanted to say something but I haven't but I've talked to him but I've talked I actually spent like I spent like two hours with him with the great Tugus Alamaga and you go should you fucking be here who I believe his name is Raymond Cruz Raymond Cruz and he's an incredible actor and he actually has no respect for Breaking Bad really yeah he was he was like he was like yeah whatever fucking and I was like it's like a soap opera and he was it's a fucking soap opera. Yeah, exactly. He like said what I said. He's a better call Saul man. I was like leading him into it. And I was like,

what about Better Call Saul? He was like, that's fucking gay. No, I'm kidding. He didn't say that. What the fuck is a character study? But he like doesn't, he, uh, he, I don't think he realizes like how great of what he was a part of. Tucco.

Deport him, do. I love to get him out of here. But, but honestly, and that's another reason. If he doesn't support Israel, we got to get it out. He needs to go, man. They need to go. If Tucco Salamon He doesn't appreciate what he did. And it's like in the, you know, it's like, it's a thing. It's like with their intelligence level, you know.

I like your car's asking if you can update at 11.05 tonight, which I like the idea of you're just driving home and it immediately auto updates. Just flips your fucking car. You guys pull us up. Why are you so far away? Well, I'm not trying to park outside your home while we're recording. It's okay, but like, I mean. Okay, I will.

Jesus. No, no, no, park in front of that car at least right there. Well, that's in front of the Broad City Lady. I didn't want her to come out and see us podcasting in front of her about going to do it. She deserves a lot of, like, she deserves. Yeah, she should think there's, like, all right podcast tracking her down. The Broad City Lady deserves, like, a lot of, like, harm. And she's not even the annoying one, but she still deserves harm.

Yeah, exactly. She's not the annoying Jewish one. That bitch deserves, like, a decent amount of, like, being afraid at night. Mm-hmm. I've seen the way, I've parked here before, and I've seen her, her, her reach out to crap I've seen her We're actually recording

outside of her home right now No it's up there It's not we're not in front of it I'm never gonna ask why people Don't share the podcast anymore Because they skip to this part They're like okay they're recording outside Abby Jacobson's house saying she should be afraid

No it's insane No no it's fine By the way this guy My entire life this guy has fucking never Did anything with his front yard I should go knock on his door and be like Hey you know how about you stop Like fucking making a front yard

like made for coyotes you fucking piece of shit and then you walk in he's been dead for like 30 years turned into jelly but like no man this is this is classic you have some respect for the neighborhood fucking Abby Jacobson lives here motherfucker

she's your next door neighbor I see her grab sweet green scared through her door like she's grabbing food in a prison cell I saw I was parking before and I saw I saw a grab sweet green I was like I was like I was like I was like You know, if I run out of my car quick enough, I could probably grab her. You could get her.

I could get her and take her up to her house. And make her a guest on the show. I go, I got some Broad City for you right here, pal. I got a Broad City for you. It's called my fucking cock. It's called my Broadcock. I call my cock Broad City. I'm fucking having, I'm doing nothing when having sex with broads.

Produced by Amy Polar, bitch. And then I just have my way with her. No, it's sick. It's sick what we do here. This is, yeah, this is bad. Ben, you're a fucking bad guy. And I'm a dad. I got to clean it by it.

I know. You need to clean it up. You're a dad of two. You need to clean it up, actually. I'm, like, disgusted by what you, what you've, like, created here. I am too. I hate myself. I hate everything.

I hate us all. Is the burger app still on the car? Did it leave? Burger. Burger. It's burger economy. The Tesla diner. Yeah.

You actually... I turned out of my Tesla. I said Israel's good. So, that it took me to get to burger. Yeah. and me, I love Israel. Tesla, take me to Tesla diner. And then it goes, one, destination to Tel Aviv.

You're like, all right, that's fine. That's fine if you take me to Tel Aviv. And then just cut to him on the underside of a plane in his car being flown into Tel Aviv to get dropped onto a daycare. He's getting dropped on a daycare like Dr. Strange love. Wait, why in Tel Aviv? You mean in Gaza City? In Gaza City. Yeah, yeah.

He's getting dropped on a daycare like. It's, uh, fucking Dr. Strangelove, like you slim pickings. And he's just turned me in their, uh, Tamir missile. He's just, he's slapping his cowboy hat and going, woo-hoo! It gets Dr. Strange love. Yeah, exactly. He says, that's so weird with that. Woo-hoo.

They turned me into Tamir Missile, Daddy. Oh, Daddy, I'm a reference to a satirical movie from 1964. Daddy. You're our greatest ally, Mr. Nandai. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Yan. Thank you. Thank you.

Help me kill Hamas. Mr. Nanyahu, thank you for turn me into a Tomahawk missile. I'm turning them back into hummus, God. I said, Mr. Nanyahu, take me to a space cannon and shoot me at Gaza. Now, what you got to understand is Hamas is a bunch of chickpeas, and we got to turn them into Hirmish. See, the military is kind of like the olive oil. And the drones are like the salt.

This is the Israeli propaganda. It's like Americans are fat. Explain it like you're cooking something. Congress is kind of like the food. processor that you dump everything in to make it smooth

and of course you gotta boil the chickpeas so you can remove the skins and that's why we've flattened the entire city

to remove the skin it's so funny think of like sling blade guys and their new model Y is being flown

into sling blade but he got a podcast microphone in 2016 so now he's the secretary of the fence

you know I think we should turn them all into humish mm Yep, TV said Israel's good TV said Israel's good And then he gets fired

And he's like, I'm ready to all buck About how Trump's bad Yeah, America first, Israel firster More first America just second first But still first, but not as much first Fuck's out, Park I'm gonna, I'm gonna rape Nancy Mace

I'm gonna find that Nancy Mace lady And not because she's bad Not because she's bad Because you got big old fake hard tithes And I'm gonna titty fuck her going to hold nancy mace down in the congressional bathroom and titty fucker i would love if sling blade killed nancy mace at the end of the movie yeah with a sling blade like she's like yoke him yeah he takes a sling blade he's like some people call a sling blade

i could cut your titty off with it just slices right through it cuts her big cuts her big titty off big fake tits off some people call a cling blade remember you charging the car at the tessler yeah with the supercharger oh you were i was wondering why why it's, like, still so high. Yeah, 78% now. Oh, that's pretty good. I only there for 10 minutes or so. Yeah, I'll lead it up to 80, too, but kind of, kind of sick, huh?

That is sick. Can I try your milkshick? It's awful. I took one sip of it. I mean, you know, I think it's bad if I'm not even drinking. Oh, that's terrible. It tastes like medicine. Terrible milkshakes?

How's that possible to make a terrible milk? That's legitimately melted ice cream in a bowl, but, like, worse somehow. These are just a throne at immigrants. Like, you're supposed to get them and you throw them out of Mexican. Yeah, it's like cold milk. That tastes terrible. Yeah, that's like, it's like it's like you're drinking the, the, the, the, the flavoring. God, that's it.

That's really bad. That's horrible. I'm not trying to say that because, you know, I'm living out. No, you know what? I was in favor. Like, I liked their, I liked how they were politically, but like that milkshakes bad. So I hate them. The restaurant did look kind of cool.

I'll give them that. It did look cool and I kind of can't believe that. That's, like, that's where the Astro, that's where the Astro Burger was back of the day. They used to grow up, uh, remember that, like, drive-thru after Burger? Yeah, yeah. I can't believe that's where that was. And now it's like this massive parking lot for Tesla. Mm-hmm.

Reddit diner. Everything you love is going to get turned into Reddit one day. Yeah, everything's Reddit now, Devin. Mm-hmm. Get ready for it's Reddit world. Your mom's going to get turned into Reddit. Yeah. Your dad, your uncle.

Everything is Eddington from here on out, Dev. We're at it. We're all Eddington guys. We're all a character in Eddington. by the way. No one is exempt from being Eddington. It's an Eddington guy. God, what a movie.

That was a fantastic film. Fucking Eddington. Watching it the second time was even better. It was, it's woke. It sucks. It wasn't even woke. And fuck Matt and Trey.

They're woke. Ben, can you put on shrinking on Apple TV back here for me? So good. I would love to. Is it the Steve Carell therapist? Jason Segal.

You fucking piece of shit. With Harrison Ford. A d'allon four. Dumb fuck. Motherfucker. You dumb motherfucker. It's called shrinking. How about I fucking kill you?

Jessica Williams is in it. Fuck face. Yeah, Jessica Williams from The Daily Show, cocksucker. She's black. She's black. She has dreads. Can you put shrinking on back here for me?

Will we end? Because I don't, I'm sick of this. I hate being part of this podcast. We haven't even reached time. Devin's, can you put on shrinking? Devin's version of the dancing like baby peas videos on YouTube is shrinking. It's unbelievable. It calms them down before sleep.

Jesus. At least the TED. Lassow app. Can you put Ted Lasson? Yeah, put the new season of Ted Lassow on. Can you put the new season of Lassel on? I know it's not out yet, but put it on. Or at least, okay, go to Hulu. Can you go to Hulu real quick? And go to, go to, go to, go to, so if I go to theater.

Go to Hulu and put on, put on Rexam. I'm a big Rob Mac guy. I got a better idea, don't like this. You're ready for this, Devin? You know, it was, it was taking so much. It was taking so much. Oh, my God. There's a whoopie cushion app. Wait, oh, you're not farting? No, no, no. actual, the Tesla comes with a whoopee cushion app you can put on

seats in the car. That's so lame. He's such a faggot. That guy should kill himself. The guy that made this car should kill himself. Yeah, imagine a grand ring nobody worked at the Tesla factory for 50 years. That's so gay. It just keeps farting.

The car farts. That's so, that's really gay. Funny. The screen looks really gay too. It's literally like you can move a whoopee cushion around to different seats, so it triggers the whoopee cushion. So it makes it sound like I did it. Yeah, exactly. See, now it sounds like I'm farting.

Now it sounds like Ben's farting. Now I'm farting. Now, it sounds like Devin's farting. Now Ben's farting. That's funny. You can change the fart. Thank God comedy is illegal. That one's pretty good.

I like that one. Yeah, the moisten are actually a random mode right now. You're in random mode. Ben, you're a wild man. I truly think if you, if you hit this more than 20 times, your car should explode, like a casino. Stop. I hate that.

That was terrible, man. What's light show? What does that do? Oh, don't do that because then all the lights start going crazy outside. It gives people, it kills people. Oh, it gives them, like, epilepsy, like attacks? Yeah, it's like, you shouldn't, you should only do it in your garage. It's, uh...

Yeah. I'm like, hey, I'm like, do it, do it. What is the... What is the... Like, iPad, baby. babies, they start, like, they start running, like, the kids in weapons. Kill them. I'm like, Ben, what is, what is, what is the shouts inward button do?

Like, oh, your car shouts, the, screams the N word at, like, a hundred and thirty decibels. When your voice is too hoarse and you can't yell the N word anymore, that's where we come in. Yeah, yeah. And our car, uh, will scream the N word for you when you honk the horn. That's plaid mode. You got to get up to 130 miles per hour. Is that, wait, is that the Pras City girl?

Uh, I missed her. fuck i think that's her shit no that's a guy that's a guy that's a guy with womenly hips that's a man that's a man it's a man that just walks with like a sexy like he has like a big ass

a big ass and he shins his ass back and forth that guy's got a really good ass that guy sucks big wide berth and hips do you think they know we're podcasting and using the whoopee question effect i hope everyone on this i hope everyone i hope everyone slowly starts like leaving the neighborhood because they realize that way we podcast on the street

this is how we get people to move as we podcast in the Tesla every day this is this is how you we're doing radio right now yeah this is how you lower the quality of your neighborhood you podcast in your Tesla on your street and everyone slowly starts moving out 30 feet from your recording studio yeah you don't use your studio you do it in your Tesla and then everyone and slowly's like all right well we're gonna like i guess we're gonna get out of yeah i just i just finally made my last mortgage payment after 30 years but i can but i'm done i'm getting out of i hate this place i'm taking like one shirt and some socks and i'm done i'm out of here man i'm gonna move the skid fucking row you call that play skid bark yeah fucking all the brown people there

Yep, very, yeah, what we, from the poop. What we do is important. Yeah. I just can't believe all the people I talked to tonight at the Tesla diner. I was like, you guys are like worthless, right? You guys think you guys should be like putting camps. They're like, yeah. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. Say hello to my son. Fucking shut off, faggot. Like, kill me. Oak is dead now. I'm getting to pork. Woke is dead. Like, kill my son.

Say a little to my fat son. Jesus Christ, how about you throw my baby daughter in like a river? That's a good point. I'm going to put my daughter's head under your tire and you just do what you see fit. You can just press the gas if you so desired. Your streets are scary, isn't it? My street is very scary. It's very spooky street.

I've seen guys like Islam guys walking up and down with masks trying to break into cars. I sit out front of my place sometimes, and I smoke a cigar, and I hold a rifle. And I, uh, I take pot shots of people here and there. Grant Tostinos. I'll shoot, I'll shoot at their ass. I, like, I shoot guys in the ass sometimes. Grant's Tostino's is a pretty good bit. It's just, he's 400 pounds.

Yeah. Get away from my barbecue grill. Yeah. Get off my prawns. The guy's reaching for his prawns at a family dinner. Hey kid, got a fork. I guess I'll use mine. Pulls it out real quick and gets it blown the bets.

He was reaching for his fork. He didn't even have a gun on him. Is that way he adopts a Filipino kid because he loves Jollybee? Yeah, he wants him to cook for him. He goes, all right, I bet you a while. Get in there and make your... Make the spaghetti. Make your silly spaghetti.

I'm Grant Tosteen. It's me, Grand Tostinos. Here in my Grand Tostinos. Yeah, the Asian families bring over the food. He's like, this is great. I decide not to be racist because of these yummy pigs they bring over. Here in my Grand Tostinos. A rat, rat, rat, rat, rat running.

I saw a rat running. I saw it, too. A running rat. Really? Rat ran across your street. You got rats. in your street, Devin. We've got to get rid of these people.

That's fucked up. That is fucked up. I don't like saying that. I have to piss. I'm going to get out of the car. We're ending the episode right now, Devin. Okay. Jesus, you know, I could go on that.

Oh, there's that big ass guy again. Is that the lady? It's a big ass guy. It's a wide-hit man. Patreon.com slash limit party. please come out to Dallas, Houston. Tickets are up for all these places now. Dallas Houston. Yeah, they're all on the website, Lemon Party.

Dot Life. Salt Lake City, Denver. And I think we're, I don't think tickets are up for Vegas or Phoenix yet. But Lemon Party. Dot life. And then Denver. Lemon Party. Dot life. We're not coming to Austin, by the way. So you've been banned from Austin. Come see us.

They said we were too funny, so we couldn't go to Austin. Austin hates us. To live. We lived out. David Lucas is going to stop us at TSA. They got wind. We lived out too hard. And that we can't go to Austin.

David Lucas is going to stop us at TSA and be like, you guys have premises in this luggage? You get the fuck out of this city? If you go to Austin, you're actually, you're supposed to pull like a dead trans person out of your suitcase and shoot them in the head on stage. Like your Gallagher? Yeah. That's the... The watermelon is. There's a dead transverse.

Yeah, give it up for your necks. This guy's a total. Rogan's talking about. Rogan's on his pocket. Is like, have you guys seen Racist Gallagher? Dude, he's great. He brought out a fucking confused 15-year-old kid. He smushed his head.

Like, who's fucking great. That's the thing. Killing, like, cattyer kids. Yeah, yeah. Like litter box kids. Yeah, yeah. Mashed in their heads. It's kids who are, like, too, into Tumblr and are, like, RARXD, and then he's like, get on the fucking block.

And then he squish his head and blood and brains. Spurts all over a Marine whose skin looks like fucking Chipotle meat. He's got a goatee, and he's got skin so booze-logged from years of whiskey drink. It's turned him into a barrel. And he goes, yeah, fuck those faggots. Texas comedy. I love, I love comedy. It's where you say,

fuck faggots. Truth to power, brother. And he turns to his wife, he's like, I'm gonna fucking turn your head into that tonight. I'm gonna fucking hurt you bad. I'm gonna hurt you bad. I'm gonna hurt you bad tonight.

Yeah, so that's why we're not allowed in Austin, Texas. Yep. Too woke. Too woke. They're too woke for us. Generational run, Maren's on right now, by the way. I got to say, Mark Mann.

Ran into Mark Maren at the AMC, the night at weapons. He's looking good. Was he seeing weapons? He was seeing weapons. Well, I'm very good friends with the guy who directed his special and the documentary that's coming out about. I text him because he was also there. I did not say hi to Mark.

He's always in the, every time I run into him, he's in the zone looking at a menu. And he looks very anxious Wherever he is I don't bother him I wanted to say like You know you fucking rule Obviously he would hate all of us

He's been on an incredible run He would obviously hate Obviously think we're evil and hate us But little does he know We're the little libs that could Mm-hmm If you ever gave If Marin gave us a shot

I would love to tell him We could live out more than anybody We're the little lib that could We're little lib Trojan horses Yeah We ride in on a little Nazi horse Marin would love our Jews though Merrin's very silent about Israel, I've noticed, by the way.

He doesn't talk about the Israel. Well, this is the problem with... Because he's a smart person that doesn't agree with it. And I think he doesn't even know how to get into it. Well, no, because he really hates anybody who talks about, quote-unquote, conspiracy theories at all. He's the classic. Like, this is where the... It is a conspiracy theory to think that these people killed 70,000 over 2 years, over 1,500.

Like, Marin obviously thinks anybody who talks about... about Epstein is like a conspiracy theorist nut even though it's such a mainstream obvious thing now but that's why the libs are so because like Stephen King is even posting that Epstein is the same as like the tooth fairy and stuff that's how four libs are behind even though like you know everything is so cringing gay now libs are just they're being laughed they have the great they have the greatest thing of all time to actually use against Trump and they're not doing it. They're not even using they're not even weaponizing that because they think any they're so far back in 2017 they think anything like that is a conspiracy a crazy

conspiracy theory yeah are they on the list yeah are there on the list yeah maybe marins went to epstein's island yeah he was not a little temple and he was just he just complained about how he's too old to be there he's on his pockets he's like you you buy w tf plus and you go to like episode 30s like so i'm on little st james and i'm thinking i'm too old to be doing this anymore you know like when you're really faced with that like you're too old to be like fucking a 14 year old on international waters like i've turned into my dad you know i'm looking over him like at least dershowitz is here he's older than me makes me feel like a young guy but it's sad even seeing him there me and dershowitz we walk over we have a jew off we kvetch together you know when two jews

get together over a 14 year old that's when the real kovetching starts anyway my guess on the podcast is Ricky Jervase. That was the thing I loved is just he was on Howie Mendel's podcast and Alie Mendele's like he hated Ricky Jervais. He was just how he was like I just saw Ricky Jervase at the he goes ugh he goes ugh what a bore what a bore and Hymanendezer goes absolutely not absolutely not insightful yeah wise and I like Ricky Jurevace but it's just funny

I like Rick Jurevase I know where Mark's coming from when he's talking about his stand up yeah yeah it's just I just appreciate that somebody's actually burning every single bridge. Who would agree with Howie Mandel on anything? As soon as Hallie Mandel says something, I go, no, wrong. Next. I go, no deal. How about that fuck face?

Yeah, exactly. Why don't you put that fucking doctor's glove on your head again? How about America's got no town? You 80s hack, fuck. You fucking landlord. I'll fucking spray germs at you. Fucking landlord. What about the Osmosis Jones?

You're fucking... I'm gonna blow my... Mr. Clean ass. I'm gonna blow my nose and shove a Kleenex down your fucking mouth. hold the clothes until you throw up he's like human chlorox I just love the way he goes

absolutely not absolutely not brilliant I don't know wait it was a brilliant stand-up show and from March he's like all right sure whatever

alright generational run right he's been on an incredible podcast run he's the goat I hope he stops by club random and we can really see him

that would be great for the fence he hates mar though he hates bill he hates him now he used to be okay with him but yeah mar has been i got mar had a doctor phil and stephen a smith on last week and that that that's pretty sad because isn't like dodger phil going on like ice raids and shit yeah i mean i don't know doctor yeah dr phil's forehead looks like a map of ice raids And Stephen A. Smith is, like, like, just learning how to be, like, a person that's in politics. Like, it's like, he has no clue what he's saying. What was he saying? Nothing. It's just, like, giant filibusters.

It's just, he's acting like, he's, like, talking about, like, like, fucking, you know, like, the Warriors versus the Cavs. But he's, like, what he's, like, talking about, like, what he's the thing with, like, the people that have been killed in the Holocaust, you know? It's like, you shouldn't be talking about. It's a travesty? You don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it was, it was cute. It's cute. This guy, I keep, I'm looking at a guy right now. He's blasting movies on his big screen TV through the window. And I actually, I, I, I met this guy like 15 years ago. He's the comic book guy from, from the citizens. Really? Big fat guy? Yeah, he's the comic. He's not actually, but he's the voice? No, he's just a big fact guy.

Yeah, I was, I thought that was Hank his area. He looks, he looks, he looks, exactly. exactly like the comical guy from the Simpsons, and he blasts movies every day, and he lives in squalor. He's Grand Tustino. And if you look on this left window right here, you could see everything is stacked on to hit, onto the, there's a dinner table

in his room, and he stacks everything on top of it. And he does have any curtains. He's like, he's no curtains. He could care less. He's like, I'm in a human zoo. He's actually hoping somebody, like, breaks and emerges. Somebody please come. Please come kill me. This guy's whole life is, please come kill me.

I know that's a real that's a real I don't give a shit move anymore full windows full light on dead of night he's never put blinds over any of these windows for a very like well walked neighborhood yes yes a lot of people walk up and down the street I've my my place has been broken into about 10 times throughout my life yeah you know he probably like he's probably like goes to the bathroom late at night every light on wipes his ass runs out so now the TV's off he's off he's Now, I think he's jacking off. Well, he's about to put on, what's that saying? Oh, Stranger Things season. Oh, he's new Stranger Things. He's putting on the new Stranger Things. He's putting on the New Stranger Things. He's putting on the New Stranger Things.

What a psychopath. I can't believe you do this. We're watching everything this man is doing tonight. Oh, my God. It's the whale. Oh, my God. Yeah, I want to deliver him a pizza just to get a look at him. He's so fat. From the top of his head, I can tell he's kind of fat.

It's crazy. He has no. fucking blinds but i gotta say that's crazy it's it's windows are so fucking dirty jace we're going on like 20 years with this guy yeah no blinds but like you know what i gotta say like it isn't it really refreshing when you're in a new neighborhood and you see somebody have the tv on in their house doesn't it like make you feel like comforted yeah there's like oh they watch tv too okay i'm safe a little warmth like everyone in this neighborhood watches tv i get that's that's how desperate we are for community at this point you're like i had Netflix you go oh that guy that guy's

scrolling Netflix. We're okay. We're a global village. You go, they're good people. That's a good guy. You're like, oh, he's watching a, he's watching American murder. That guy got on somebody feed Phil. He's a good, he's a good man. You know how to start? Like, hey, could I help but notice the somebody feeds feel, Phil? You walk up to the door, you go, hey, I have a bottle of wine and a charcutory board. I noticed you had on somebody feed Phil. I think we're best friends.

Are you a fellow SFP guy? love SFP He looks like he's the greatest and worst life At the same time Oh this guy This guy should take his own life Mm-hmm No I've known

This guy's been on my street For about 20 years I remember my mom When I live with my mom My mom walked up past this guy He's literally like a Like he's the comic book guy From The Simpsons

He has like a ponytail That he has like wrapped And he's uh I think he took over for his parents' house, I think. I've never met him myself, but my mom used to say, like, yeah, this guy's like a real... I think even my mom was like, this guy's a real faggot. Yeah, the worst thing that ever happened to that guy was getting his first disability check.

He's like, I'm never leaving my house again. I guess should we go before we docks this guy. Yeah, we probably should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, at patreon.com slash limit party, we're going to go do a Patreon in the basement and, um, Elimaporty dot life for the live Yes Live you thugs

Oh Tesla diner two thumbs down Bad Bye bye Bye bye You need to see me in real life I'm on your TV in real life You can't believe it's not real life

You wish you knew me in real life Do what I do But in real life Got to no good real life because it feels so good in real life so good in real life so good in real life so g-ir-l so g-r-r-l so g-ir-l because it feels so good in real life so g-ir-l how would you treat me in real life are you this creepy in real life life life you don't impress me in real life. You wouldn't test me in real life. I'm getting messy in real life.

They should arrest me in real life. It's like a show, but it's real life. And it feels so good in real life. So good in real life. It feels so good in real life. So G-I-R-O. So G-I-R-O. So G-I-R-V.

Because it feels so good in real life. It feels so good in real life, so G-I-R-L, so G-I-R-L, so G-I-R-L, because it feels so good in real life, so-G-I-L. Life's like a movie, don't know how it ends up this real life, but you can't pretend. Because you don't know me, and I don't know you. If you wish my command, I'm a grim come true. No fake. It ain't a simulation called in a real situation. Lost in a dream, a stock behind a screen, the reality hits.

And let it out the same. Let a skate and started. Talking like they know me, but we never met it all. Put it up, bet it all, double down, get it all. Let's tell me what you about. Cut all the action, ignore distraction. Let's make it happen. Slate closes action.

Cut all the action. Ignore distraction. Let's make it happen. Slate close. Look at her in real life. I'll check her in real life. I'll see you later in real life. I'll see you later in real life.

I can't believe that it's real life. Here. So G.I.R.O. So G.I.R. L. So G.R. L. Because if you're so good in real life. So G.I.R.O. So G.R.O. So G.R.R. I want to meet you in real life.