lemonparty - 162: Falling Down Thanksgiving

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Devan goes off on bicyclists, Ben pines for a classic Texas thanksgiving, Jace has a new blue watch... he loves blue folks... and Hitler is officially the president of the country of Africa.... this week on lemonparty. https://www.lemonparty.life/ https://factormeals.com/lemon50off https://lucy.co/LEMON code lemon bonus episodes ⁠https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One chicken, one, chicken, one, chicken, whews. Chicken, one, chicken, chicken wings. One, one, chicken wings. Yeah, you like my outfit, don't even make the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill. Always in my face, talking listening. Girl, I ended up about some real for the cat-knack. You rag clean, but your gas take.

But your gas tank is on me Be stepping now they got no decent shoes on your feet That's just to feed it bro. You don't know what you're talking about In the face, there's no choice when the come out Hate to see you in the club You're bombing with a mug No one that you're bad with your boy, you're nothing but a scrub

But he was with me That's when you treat hate it Cause when I got up on you in your bed near faith I showed it and I face drinking on the act Mouth full of clothes But your ass needs to be to please What you need's a girl Real rice and farmer

What you're like that Oh Yeah from From chicken chicken Big Yeah He's just He's brought back

Goat milk He's just He's turning into like a Bulgarian farmer Yeah You're like those dads Who eat the vegetable meals Yeah From other countries

Disgusting countries It says shake well Shake well You're drinking an entire carton Yeah Of goat milk You're an unbelievable person. I know.

Your turn, you're like healthy Uncle Buck. Yeah. Your uncle cock. You got to shake it or it tastes like pee-pee. Just a weird, just a man looks like you walking into Whole Foods and buying one carton of goat milk and drinking it out front like Ron Burgundy on a hot day. The black guy goes, hey man, why are you walking like that? When I was walking in Old Foods. He did?

Yeah, yeah. Black guy did? Yeah. That's fun. I was like, I, you chimp it out. What is... That's what you said to him? That's what you said.

That's what I said. That's what I said to this nice black man. If you ask me, who was kind of a dick asking me why I was walking that way? Why are you walking like that, Jack? Then he called them the most racist thing you could. Guy in a wheelchair. Like, why are you rolling along like that? Jack, shit.

Do you, I go, I have an autoimmune disorder. I have inflammation of my joints. And he goes, man, that sucks. I turned around, he turned his finger. That sucks. He did? Yeah, that's all he said. I mean, no apology whatsoever.

He's kind of smiling, like, ask, he's like, oh, you hurt your foot, man. Yeah, he just didn't care. He's like, I love white pain, actually. Yeah, he's like, he laughed like, good. Good, being pain. It seemed like he was sort of delighted in my pain. It was charging him. You know, he probably went home.

He's like, white people's own bodies subjectating themselves. So evil, the body. His foot is trying to kill him. You do walk like you have like a lead foot, so it is like an interesting, I would ask, I guess. I would ask, I guess, maybe. That was fucked up. It's pretty rude to ask, actually.

What's rude to ask in that manner? Yeah. What's wrong with you, man? What the fuck's with you? I talk like the donkey from Shrek, man. Hey, why are you drinking out of straw? I can't get enough of this damn shit. I don't even know what's in it.

You're sucking that milk back. Goat milk? Supposedly it has like 30% more magnesium than regular milk. Sure. Yeah. But who's to compare the two? Is it a combative of a goat milk must have. I just drink this stuff all day.

I can't get enough of it. I feel like it's making me feel better. Yeah. But then, you know, me, Jace, and his wife and, uh, and, uh, Katie and the kids, we all, uh, you guys still? Yeah, I hear. Yeah. Oh, shit. I, I disconnect.

Is your thing come out? Hold on. Sorry, the milk, the milk is really big and it was on the headphone. Uh, we went to get Chinese food. Yeah, we got Chinese food. Yeah. Yeah. I was pain free up until Thanksgiving.

and then we got the Chinese my daughter had to take my daughter morning after Thanksgiving she jumped on her trampoline and a turd shot out of her ass but you told me it was awesome you told me and I was really proud of her

she got on the trampoline to shake a turd out of her I turned to my wife and I said we're doing we have a little Einstein on our hands she doesn't have to do any of the work pushing the shit out I'm not I'm kind of impressed

it's impressive she intuitively knew she could jump a turd out of her ass oh okay all right And she's not even too yet. The turd shot straight up. It stayed on the trampoline. So she was a clean up. She cherry bombed it.

It flew super high. Cherry bob. Jerry bomb. So she was constipated and couldn't shake it loose? She. Or was it already out? It was hanging from her pants. No.

So what she did is after breakfast of the morning after Thanksgiving, she took her diaper off and ran into the living room. And she hopped on the trampoline until the turd shot out of her ass. Okay. It was beautiful. Because she's got like one of those little like exercise trampolines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't realize it was a door, so did it just, it just flipped and hit the wall? Oh, well, we just found it on the trampoline.

Oh, damn. But she was hopping on, and when she got off, we're like, there's a turd right there. I was like, that's... How big was it? Just, you know, about, like a... Normal size? Yeah. A human hand?

No, just like a, you know, like a dog's heart. Okay. That's pretty big. What was a nugget? Size of a dog's heart. Okay. Perfectly round. A big dog's heart.

Perfectly round dog heart. You know, like all of our shit. But good for her. What did you do for Thanksgiving, Devon? Did you do any of that? I, uh, you know, I pulled a turd out of my ass on a trampoline. Uh, no, I just went to my, uh, my aunt and uncles in Pasadena. Oh, Pasadena.

You're Irish family, that's right, yeah, yeah. It was nice. That was it. Big Irish Thanksgiving. And I, um, I just stole all the diapers out of your Ben when I came over. That was my Thanksgiving. You what? Stole all those diapers out of Ben's Ben's Ben when he came over.

While he was drinking his milk. Here's a go. Why'd you need the diapers? I think Opie used to do that. Opie stole diapers. Yeah, he would like sniff diapers. No, I did go over at his house. There's a bunch of diapers on the steps on the way up.

A bunch of shitty shit-filled diapers. Oh, okay. I don't know why I'm so confused with it. It's like firewood. Is this a pedophile joke? No, no, no, no. You sniffing baby diapers full of you, your brother, your niece is shit. Come on, Devin, bail him out.

Come on what he said. Bail him out. You guys push me on a knife. You guys pushed me on a night. nice flow like I was in Eskimo. Jason is such a fantastic comment. Mine, I'm like, what the one are you, are you saying? You're like, bury him, Devin.

Barium. No, let me flounder. Let me flounder. Six feet under. Put him under the ground. I've been bombing all Thanksgiving. I was, I was genuinely confused. I'm sorry.

Oh, no, that's fine. As was I, I was waiting for maybe you guys to do a thing off that. I was like, I drank the milk. I was sitting here and I go, I know we don't tell fantastical things on this podcast from time of the time. Well, I knew it was. absurd, but I was trying to figure it out... Have you seen Jason's new big blue watch?

I got a big blue watch. Oh, yeah, look at that thing. Yeah. This is from China. Okay, nice. Chinese watch. Nice. Little tiny Chinese baby hands are making us.

Yeah, everyone's getting really into watches, like, at the same time you are. John's really... My friend Brian was talking about watches. Me and John have been talking about what... We've been doing watchtog. They all talk about it like it's a way to park money. Oh, no, it's not. It's a complete waste of...

It's something that's very stupid and a complete waste of money. Okay. That's a complete lie they're telling themselves. Okay, yeah. They're acting like... John keeps acting like, it's like, no, it's like an investment. Like, it's like, it basically never loses value. No, it's, it's like saying a car never loses value.

It's a complete falsehood. John's lying to himself, frankly. I got you. Okay, well, that makes sense. But I'm sorry for, I've been bombing a lot. No, I'm sorry for, I know it was a joke. I just couldn't figure out. Just please, we love you.

I bombed at Thanksgiving dinner hard in front of my girlfriend's family. Because they were going, they made you go around the table and say something you're thankful for. Yeah. And then they got to me, and then I pretended to start to do a land acknowledgement. as a bit, and they all are so afraid that I would do that, that they thought it was real. And they started, they, like, stared at me like dogs. You know, I'm thankful for my niece's full diapers. They have no context.

Everyone just stares at me. I'm like, do you guys not listen to my podcast? I sing you all the link. No, I literally was like, I was like, I'm going to do a landing knowledge of me real quick. And then, like, like, like, three uncles and two grandpas just like, like, just mouths fell open and stared. I was like, I'm joking. Everybody's like, oh, okay. Oh, they actually thought you were like being that big a liberal idiot.

I thought I was for real being a liberal gay guy. Oh, that sucks. I know. So I just, I just got stared at it. She just said the Edward right after you, everyone settled down. Yeah, I had to be like, I'm thankful that slavery is coming back. They said, hip-a-per-ray. But a horrific bomb in front of 30 people who don't know you that well.

Yeah. I really don't like Thanksgiving. I'm happy I don't have to have those type of thanksgivings anymore. I used to with, like, strangers and stuff. Yeah. My aunt and uncle used to, like, have, like, neighbors over. And you're like, this is horrible. you can't be yourself oh as a kid it's brutal yeah did they make you perform like a little chimp boy

did they make you like do a dance or a song at any point no never like that it's just one of those things where it's like i really want to talk that shit at the table and there's just a bunch of god knows who you know you were a little adult and you wanted to like yeah yeah yeah anyway so bad what were you what did you were you about to say oh well you know i look you know how'd your thanksgiving i like the cranberry sauce i like the stuffing everything else can kind of go to hell I like Thanksgiving. Pumpkin pie is pretty good. I don't really understand the whole, like, hatred of it.

It's one time a year. Tripped a fan lover over here. Most people don't like it because they don't know how to fucking cook. They suck at cooking it. I wouldn't make it on my own. I would just go get Chinese if I had to spend it alone. I mean, Devin, if you were, okay, look, can you hear me out for a Zaghan? Does anyone in your family want to cook?

Hear me out? No, they don't, actually. I only had burnt cookies my whole life. Of course. Hockey Pucks. And that's why you hate black people. He called some burnt cookies. Cookies. You remind me of my

fucking childhood. You fucking macatamea a chip. If I was arguing with Devin right now and I said turkey sucks, you would say you haven't had good turkey. And I, so here's, but I'm not even going to say that. You know what I'm going to say? You know what I'm going to say? I don't even care about it. What do you go ahead and rank the meat? Faggum. Let's get into it, bitch boy.

Does turkey make the top five? No, it doesn't. My favorite food is turkey. This whole turkey thing. You have severe ass burgers. You don't like a good turkey sandwich, a good turkey club? A turkey with some bacon on top of a little pesto Ioli? People are eating turkey sandwiches all fucking here. He named two other things that kick ass to put on top of

the damn shit. And no one's eating turkey alone on Thanksgiving. You smother it in gravy, which is fucking butter and beef broth and shit. And then cranberry sauce. That's why it's good. Mashed potatoes full of butter. Turkey's simply a host. It's a host for the other bullshit.

Jerry? But turkey, we eat cherries. We eat turkey all fucking here and we like it and sandwiches. Yeah, Thanksgiving dinner's fantastic. Thanksgiving dinner rules. It's just, most people suck at making it. And you usually, if you go to, like, if you do like a Friendsgiving, it's a bunch of fucking young fags pretending to be adults.

And you have to like, you have to watch some Bimbo make her first mac and cheese. Yeah. And you have to pretend it's good. It stinks. Some slut. Some fucking. Instead of being in the kitchen, she was getting fucked. And she, and her grandma never taught her the mac and cheese recipe.

I don't know why I'm going to sell round up. I just had, maybe it's because my, my uncle used to be a chef. and so they're pretty good at cooking. Yeah, what is he now? He's much, I don't know, actually, but he does well. Something. He doesn't seem to care either. You know one of those guys that never, you don't even really need to know what they do?

He doesn't even know. You know what? I got nostalgic this year, though, because I remember being young and going over to the trailer in Whitherald, Texas with this guy over here. Your brother? My brother. We're related. You call him this guy your whole life.

get a little of this fucking guy's always here i remember the harsh cold wind like a slap in the face i remember the long plains of the estacado yep and the lano estacado they called up there in the panhandle of texas up there in whit harold texas what is the estacado it's like it's the lano estacado the plane it's the chaperal yeah it's the worst part you just keep saying words that don't explain it we're gonna be honest with dev and i don't think anyone in texas knows what it It's where the... We just always heard it. Really? Okay.

It's the Lano Esticado. It's where the Comanche wants, you know... It's something from a... With a Comanche. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's something that's ugly

unless Roger Deacons was filming it with a camera that the Comber that's handed... Okay. But then you'd say it was beautiful and its bleakness. Yes. I remember driving there...

It's beautiful because it's ugly. Yeah, we'd have to drive three hours to level land or Whit Herald or somewhere in the Lanoezzacado. And the grass would get progressively sadder as you got there. Like, it looked like the sats of... It looked like the grass hung itself, like, on the way to Thanksgiving. You know, I got nostalgic for it. I was, like, I was sitting in Beverly Hills with my some old friends.

Jewish. Having Thanksgiving. They're real Jews. And I'm sitting there, and, you know, the food's fine, whatever. I might have put cranberry sauce and everything. It looks like I'm eating cherry pie, essentially. My plate's red. My plate's red.

With cream on the turkey. It looks like a bowl of blood. Yeah. It looks like a bowl of food. blood. I'm reading a bowl of blood on Thanksgiving. You're eating out of the can of cranberry sauce? He's sucking the cans down like they're oyster shooters.

You're going, you're playing it's just the keyword shape like the can, just the gelatinous. So now that I'm older, you know, I'm 33. I got two kids, man, I got a wife. You know, I got the, I got, I'm older now. And I'm thinking, I'm like, man, I'm sitting at the end of the table. And I remember one time. sitting at the end of the table on Thanksgiving

looking across at that in the side room of that trailer and that double Y that granddaddy lived and I remember him saying the N-word. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, where's that? To the dark mate. And then I Yeah, hitting my grand-annie

because she made brown gravy. What's only? And you know what? I realized I realized I had the thought the world I grew up in no longer exists. That's so true. Where is a man saying the inward to cross a bunch of food? Like, I want the inward to travel like a horse along the hill.

I like to think the granddaddy lives on in Erica Kirk, you know? He never died. He's in Erica Kirk and he's in, you know, some other guys. I forget their names. I don't care. Were you talking about, did you make your own Thanksgiving dinner this year? What? I know this didn't happen this year.

I was at my Jewish friend's house, and everybody was Jewish except me. Well, you went to a... No, he's talking about a little kid. Oh, I'm sitting there as... What the fuck were there Jews out in tech? What are you talking about? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, I'm saying I was at Thanksgiving in Beverly Hills this year with...

This year. Yeah, two days ago. Oh, he was... Thanksgiving Day, the 28th. He was thanking back. I thought after October 7th, they were... They had it with you. I thought they've seen what you do for the last three years.

How are they still inviting you over? Well, Ben, they would have me. and then showed them the Akash app and they said you're back. Okay, so you were at, you were... I go up to their bookshelf and I go, what is this, the Zohar? Interesting. I go, what's the second Maccabees?

And I take out a legal pad and I started taking notes. And you go, don't mess with the Zoron. Is that some ancient text of yours? They were teaching me about the Kabbalah, very interesting. Don't mess with the Zohran. Is that an ancient day? I go, what is this the Zohar? And he goes, that's the Kabala.

And he started talking about it. It sounded like the secret. Mm-hmm. It's just esoteric. jew stuff the same way christians have esoteric like gnostic stuff yeah sure made up gobbly geek so you had a you had a big jewish thanksgiving yeah but you know i'd rather spend it with old fat racist white guys sure that's where i came from were these the same people that did the whole they had that dinner one time where they were like and fuck gays yeah like if anyone here's

gay kill yourself they said it should be illegal to be gay and they said what do you disagree and i said yeah i don't think like gay people should be rounded up and put in prison and And they go, well, let's just say, thank God nobody here is gay. And they just kept eating. And I looked around, I'm like, there's a couple of gay guys here. Yeah. Also, you've had, I have uncles who died from being gay and getting AIDS and the ostracized by the family. So, in spirit, there are gay people here. Yes, for sure.

So, every other Jewish husband I met in Beverly Hills is a gay guy. So I don't even know what he's talking about. But go on, Devin. Sorry. Well, it doesn't, the women they're with definitely seem like they have to be beards. They don't look great. Yeah. But did you have, what were your conversations like at Thanksgiving?

Well, I just asked them about the Tanakh, and I know enough about, like, King Nebuchadzev the Second and Cyrus and the Lost Tribes of Israel. Did you guys fucking talk about, like, fucking. They talk about, they want to talk about the wisdom of Solomon. What a boring thing. Talk about, like. And then they go, the Arabs. And they go, do you see this? They go, 38% of people that voted for Mandami were Jewish.

What kind of fucking moron You live in New York You vote for the Muslim What the fuck is What the hell is wrong with you? I've lived in L.A. for 87 years I've adopted a fake personality They kept saying over and over and over

That 38% of Jews voted for Mamdami and Yeah Or Mom Donnie I don't know I don't know what's going on dude I've just Apparently the Jews voted for Mom Donnie

They're always furious about something Yeah That's the thing tradition is you go around and you you share what you're ungrateful for you share what's ruining your life at this current moment you complain about everything on Thanksgiving you go we go thankful for this food and shit but Jesus fucking Christ there's a lot of people we got to kill this upcoming year I'm grateful that my family's all together to be blasted by this horrifically cold air conditioning starting January after Christmas there's a lot of people

we need to kill well yeah they they can't believe there's young Jews they can't but 38% they're like, can you believe we keep reproducing and making people with different points of views? Have maybe different, yeah, different opinions than us. Well, they had a good point.

They go, if you're, they said, if you're in a tribe, why would you vote for someone who's not in your tribe? Because to them, it's about social cohesion. So that's not Jewish, though? What does that mean? Well, I don't think they were saying vote for Cuomo,

but they're saying vote for someone who's for your people, for your coalition, you know, you don't vote for an Arab? What the hell? Yeah. Oh, like, I guess. I do, yeah. There's part of me that kind of respects that, you know, they do care about their own a little bit.

That is just, yeah, that's, that's cute, I guess. Care about their community. I mean, I hear them out. I hear where they're coming from. I mean, I mean. It's like Jamie Kennedy and Malibu's most wanted having Thanksgiving being like, we, y'all, we can't vote for the black dude. How can you believe our kids? voting for this black guy

I hate minorities there's only four of us in the U.S. He's got a whole bookshelf full of shit that's like pretty much just Arab Wigger shit he lives on Fairfax Yeah, but I do I do miss the double wide

trailers of our youth Yeah it was better man Some of the best food of my life Yeah the classic like Pillsbury rolls that just they make it really quick. Those are better than almost any dinner roll I've ever had. 600 pound woman cooking your turkey. Yeah, that's great.

That's all gone now. It's all gone. The world we grew up. It's just Jewish Thanksgiving now. You don't hate them enough. I remember you'd eat the best turkey of your life. You go into the side room and, you know, your granddad is screaming the N-word at the Cowboys game. And then your aunts on our way to go.

People think we're doing a bit. No, yeah. Calling Emmett Smith, Emmett Till. Yeah, calling them the Cowboys, but really leaning into the boys. Cowboys! Not cowmen. Not cow white men. And it should be.

And then our aunts going to Black Friday at 1 p.m. The only black holiday they celebrate. As we call that, Kwanza. Black Friday to buy, you know, an 85-inch TV to. yell the N-word out. We're going about, we got to get a new flat screen because granted it broke the last one, yelling the N-word out of it. He on the megaphone at the

flat screen and cracked it. He cracked it with the N-word. But it was, I do wish I could go, I really do wish I could go back. Granted, he could move things with his, with the N-Word. He could say the N-word so loud it could move stones. Yeah, he was like, stranger things, but racist. He could just go, nah! Just fly.

Just fly. Guy flies across the room. Just a black guy getting pinned against a wall. No. And blood coming down his nose. Yes, yes. But I really do, because I remember... A white guy falling on the floor, plugging his ears, like, no! He was the alien and nope.

Yeah, no! And then just him exploding. The black guy exploding. Into a bunch of goo. And then you go to Granddaddy. He's on one knee and blood's coming out of his name. Dude, I miss Granddaddy so much. I did too.

I loved him, dude. I really do wish I appreciated when I was a kid. You know, you're like, you're a gay little kid. You want something different. I'm like, I want to be in the big city, be exposed to art. But now that I'm like, I have that, I'm like, I wish I could go back and kind of appreciate that while it was happening. Have the, have the, yeah. You know, the wherewithal to be like.

Quiet, wholesome moments. Yeah, the worth all to be like, my uncle has a rodeo belt buckle and he's whittling. You know, like, when am I going to see this again? Right. you know in heaven well no they're not going on them they ain't going there too many arabs too many arabs in heaven this world is not my home i'm just to pass and through and i'll yeah that's what they said to the bank hell is my home yeah the underworld is my home that's what they said to the bank when they came and ripped it off of the foundation they go you haven't made

a payment in a year and they go well this world is not my home i'm just a passing through Beyond the Blue. Yeah. I wouldn't want to go to church again. That would suck. That would suck ass. Do you ever think about that going back into like your like 10 year old brain? Oh yeah.

As you currently? Yeah, yeah. Like what would you do differently? Yeah, what you would do differently. I'd have less anxiety probably. Oh, yeah. That's what I mean is like just live. I'd realize that like life isn't over like school isn't everything.

Yeah. That's truly 80 years. Yeah. Yeah. And I just get, I get tons of pussy the whole time. Yeah, I think about that being a kid again. I mean, invest in Bitcoin. It's all like, but I really just lived in like the moments when I knew I didn't have school. So it was like Friday, Saturday were the only days that I kind of were like, oh, yeah, that's nice. No stress. I always, I had like that Sunday scary's feeling like constantly.

Yeah, well, you'd have like a day. You'd have eight hours of relaxation and then it would get too close to the end of Saturday. Yeah. You would start getting worried. And then throughout the week, I would just try to stay up as late as possible to have time to myself. Mm-hmm. And, like, bet, you know.

Yeah, we looked back fondly on childhood, but kids are, like, actually, like, drinking, like, Pepto-Bismol and, like, whiskey on the, like, they should be, like, sales guys, trying to make quota. I was thinking that the other day, I was like, I, I, sometimes I wonder, like, if it would have been better if I smoked weed throughout school. Probably. But sometimes I'm glad I didn't. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Well, I know is it like it does kind of feel like you just, you did want to fast forward through it. Like now that I'm here now, I'm like, I don't know. I guess it was fine. But I wouldn't go back. Yeah. No, I know. I know. I, having no freedom, like no autonomy really over anything going on. Yeah, that would suck ass. To know your parents are retarded and still have to listen to them because you're 10. That is true. That would suck ass. I think it would rule. You would like to go back then? Yeah.

think of how fast your balls recharge that was cool you don't pay rent so that rules there's no financial stress whatsoever I'd like to go back to that time

but fuck bitches oh yeah think of the pussy you can get as a as a child somehow convince adult women that I'm bad like it's my it's my 33 year old it's my 33 year old brand

and 12 year old me and it's like don't worry you're not a pedophile I'll explain it in court it's like you're doing that movie birth you're like I'm your dead husband i'm reincarnated you can suck my dick i'd put away my allowance under the mattress and then

when we have a babysitter i'd flash 500 in front of her i'm like if you've you got to fuck me you got it suck me you go or and also you would know how to use leverage over people but i'll tell the police that you tried to rape me unless you actually rape me yeah unless you actually do it i walk up and i put a hundred down i go i'm going to need you suck my little baby dead And then after that I got a loose tooth You need to pull out in the doorway Yeah, that's right, I'm crazy I'm crazy, I want to come right when the tooth is getting pulled

I'm a crazy motherfucker Holding a Nerf gun up to their head Suck my neck bitch Or I'll tell people that you molested me And you'll go to jail forever And you have to go to this door right now And get me fruity bubbles And then you can't even throw the box out in the trash

You gotta take it with you So my mom doesn't know I ate that shit I want some gushers Yesterday I'm gonna get a bowl of gushers a bowl of fruity pebbles. I'm going to eat them shits while you suck my baby dick.

You're going to suck my little baby dick. I'm going to come. My little baby cum. And then you're going to pull this tooth out so I can get $5 from the tooth fairy. Because I'm a gangster child. Imagine doing one of those like cum shots when you didn't even come.

It's just air. Like you pull out. You're like, oh, I'm coming. It's a pneumaticus. It's just a bunch of air. It's just Tuf. Dude, did you see it?

It sounds like a dog farting. did you guys see this chinese guy that's trying to fuck i did you guys see this chinese guy that's trying to fuck i did this guy you play it this is so good i haven't seen this you just oh wait hold on hold on scored my house and fuck he rocks it says i'm a female running my normal work route when this man at a gas station approaches me while i'm filling out my notes Skulled my house and fuck. Are you okay? No, I'm not okay.

I don't know him. I'm not okay. I'm the baddest motherfucker in the whole movie. It's like, it's like, uh, it's like Grock on the loose. He's like human Grock. He asks Grog how to I fuck bitches. Come on, you little cum dumpsterer. Fuck me.

I know you're playing hard to get because you're a bad girl. Why don't you come back to my mom's house and when you could spill my man juice? This guy's wild. It's crazy. Security cards get involved. And it might just work out. Come on, let's go. This is a little uncomfortable.

Dude, get the fuck out of here. I swear. Call the police on me. Yeah, I will. What the fuck? Who the fuck are you? Let's go fuck, and then you can call the police room. It doesn't matter.

For rape or whatever. Are you okay? No, I just want to fuck one. Let's Be on this way What the fuck Dude, get away from me Let's go fuck, call the police

Whatever Let's go fuck right now I feel like they're being rude to him They are a little bit Ma'am, the customer's always all right I also like he's doing the thing where he's like Let's go fuck one, come on Let's go fuck right now

Rock paper says a shoot Make a decision, three to one go go fuck me Come on what color am I thinking of Picking up between one and seven Let's go fuck. Pick the card, any card. Let's fuck. He's also doing like simultaneously the bashful like he's a little cold thing.

Like his hands are in his pockets. He's like, let's go fuck. Come on, I'll rape you. Come on. Do that kind of like digging his like foot into the ground? Yeah, he's pigeon. He's walking. He's kind of like playing with his thumb.

He's like, I just want to fucking. Pushing his pointer fingers together. He's called the police army. Come on me. Come on. I thought he was trying to hold the cum and his balls by bending over. Maybe. He might. Yeah, he might be like, um, illegally horny right now. See, why do we?

women always be complaining that they can't find a man they're everywhere and look at this young man look at this young man this young man this young buck yeah women act like the dating field is all dried up they're complaining while look at this beauty they're complaining men never approach him anymore meanwhile this guy's getting turned down yeah this lady probably never gets approached because she's too attractive and this guy finally sucked it up yeah went over to her maybe his you know maybe his opening lines a bit much but I think let's fuck it really gets to the point I do like that he's like you can

call the police for rape I think that's fair yes he's like yeah hey if you want to accuse me of rape and ruin my life that's fine but let's fuck first he's appreciating her wishes post sex it's very respectful it's flattering actually to say you're worth prison time he's like if your aftercare is accusing

me of rape and then ruining my life then fine but let's fuck let's fuck first let's fuck you're right he's grabbing his dick I thought he was looking down and he's Like, can I get a couple of scratches? No, I think he was rubbing his dick like he was trying to start. Yeah, let's go fuck right now.

Get away from me, dude. Let's go to my house. What are you doing? No. Get away. What the fuck? She's kind of. She's kind of.

He asked another person. Absolutely not, sir. Oh, I want to have sex with all the people. The black guy, the black security guy's like, bro, that's my job. Leads him out. Yeah. What's the problem? I want to have sex

with all these women Okay, excuse me Pardon me He goes I'm going to Okay You need to leave Absolutely not sir

Oh I want to have sex With all the women Bro And then they go fuck He goes come on bro He got to put his arm on his hand on his back He's being kind of It's a bit

It's a bit He's not you down bad It's slightly fraternal The security card's like He's like bro He's like this is like a three full month job He takes him out. He's like, all right, let me educate you on the pussy.

Iceberg slim shit out front. This could be hitch. This is the beginning of hitch. Hitch, but it's for rapy guys. The Chinese guy wants to be. It's called bitch. Smash cut to the security guard teaching him how to dance to yeah by Usher. See, what you do is you're like, I'm your friend.

Then you get them really drunk, and then you take advantage of them. He comes in here all the time. He's doing really horrible karate on security guard. Yeah, they're like slapping hands. The security guard's flexing on him. He's trying to put his hand in like a Chinese finger trap. And the ladies say he comes in there all the time. I wonder what made him snap.

I will. I will say she kind of seemed more receptive towards the end. Near the end, she's kind of like, I mean, if it saves him, jail time. Well, though she's kind of doing that thing where she's like, stop, no, by the end of it. I'm like, if you, like, a couple more minutes. Yeah. You might have got it. Yeah, I mean, that's...

I think he was pretty close to closing. That's an interesting one, because he didn't seem like he's on drugs, but you kind of think he has to be i think it's maybe a man who's just so horny horny and so not god and pussy that he's just he's just try this that's his falling down moment yeah where he just walks in like michael douglas and he's like i'm getting i'm getting laid right now yeah that's him the plot of falling down but he's sick he's gone too long without raping he just gets out of his car and traffic yeah he rapes those cellos that approach him in the park what's a fool

oh no fool a guy who leaves his job and his family and his life so he can rape he's got a super horny yeah Robert Deval's trying to get him to calm before he rapes again Robert Deval's on his last day of work trying to jack him off he's shooting that rocket launch up a woman's pussy

shoving the bat up that guy's ass making him calm his brains out walking into the fucking McDonald's place and fucking the burger. I love falling down. I love the movie falling down. He just wants to

rape the other one. He goes, look at the picture on the board. Is that burger getting fucked right now? But he's acting like all of society has a sickness because they won't let him rape. Has everybody gone crazy? I can't rape the burger. Me,

a white man. A white man. With a tie. Walking around Echo Park trying to rape And I'm the bad guy Oh, Devin, it is around your neighborhood Yeah, the Army Surplus Star went out of business a few years ago He walks across L.A. Like he walks from the five all the way to the pier, right?

Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful move. We should watch that. White people don't know how to take the bus, that's why. White people don't got the routes memorized. Yeah, well, he tried to stay at the bus, and they saw two black guys, and he goes, what's happening to the city?

what the hell is happening he saw a black woman he saw a black guy heading to his second job he goes what the what is wrong with this fucking city I'm gonna go on a rampage Jay's we have to do ads before I forget Oh yeah shit I forgot

No it's okay buddy Just try to you know hurry up Just hurry up hurry up Hurry up bad boy I still laugh so hard at the Brennan Walsh Bone Zone thing What is that one Well Brendan Walsh

He would do a Richard Bain a lot where they would call RIP where he would call business and be really nice like hey can you go in the back and check to see if you have like the certain pants size or whatever

and they'd be really nice for like a kind of a while and then the reception should be like oh yeah I'm gonna go in the back and look for it and they go okay hurry up I do remember that and they go what? They go hurry up

hurry up no yeah yeah just please yeah please yeah hurry up yeah just go a lot faster please hurry up to be so nice and say. Hey, if you could just really speed it the fuck up.

Hey, I just want really, thank you for your help, but if you could go a lot fucking faster. That was probably the greatest podcast of all time. Randy and Brendan, and especially when Richard, RIP was on. When Richard was on and they would bully the shit out of them. It's so good. On the podcast. Calling bomb threats into children's hospitals and stuff.

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Factor. Thank you, Lucy. And now back to the show. You know what I was thinking about is in Japan, they will pay elderly people to hang out with people who are lonely you know there's those apps for there's websites for lonely people if you're like a retired man you can get paid by the day to pretend to be someone's friend or pretend to or whatever right there's a whole economy there because everyone's so lonely right because they're all like autonomous bugs in a big machine exactly right they're a bunch of uh bingo balls yeah they're lugs yeah the human looks and i i kind of

I kind of wish we had that here, but with big, fat white guys who look like Colonel Sanders, to come to Thanksgiving and say the N-word and then say grace and lean. You pay him $400. Because you miss granddaddy so much. I miss him so much. It's just, it's some sort of grandpappy tender. Sure. Where a man who looks like your grandpappy can come over and say something. Yeah.

Very, uh, very weird about it. And the app is called the old days. Yeah, your wife running out to meet him like that Uncle Buck scene. And he's just like, okay. I brought the blue bear. No, he's like, he's like totally normal before he meets you. He's like, he's like, so I, as I explained over the phone, 10 M-bombs, $400. If I go to 20, that's an extra $500.

She's like, that's fine, fine, do it look totally. And he walks in like, hey, y'all doing. Hope they're not a bunch of boop. Hanging around these parts. You start crying. That's gross. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good idea, Ben.

I think it could be a pretty big business, especially because, well, think about it. like everybody is this is you on shark tank yeah you keep you keep the inward you walk and you go can Damien leave Mr. O'Leary think about it

no one says it anymore we can pay people to say it once again can the Fubu guy please leave I do not feel safe with him in the room the CEO of Red Lobsters there he's like I like this Mark come on I know you're fed up with them you pay him so much money

We've actually been doing something similar to this. It's how we ended the Endless Shrimp thing. It's how we get people to leave. Grandadies, actually. We hired Granddaddies to get us to end the endless shrimp. They yell at our black customers until they leave. Because they kept expecting endless shrimp. Things are weird though now, man.

Things are strange, man. Strange times. Did you see that big fat trans girl look like jigglypuff jumped off a bridge? No. Well, it turned out she lied about it. Wait, the one that went very viral on Twitter for killing herself? Yeah, a few days later, someone...

How do you lie about killing yourself? Well, she posted like, it's a beautiful view. That one on the bridge and everybody thought she killed herself? She copied the other trans girl. What other trans girl? Fuck, I'm sorry, I thought I'd turn the air conditioner. Remember the famous trans girl? Oh, no, you're fine.

You don't remember the famous trans girl who jumps off that bridge? Yeah, no, that's one's saying. Yeah, this was a lie? Yeah. Was all the water missing after she jumped? Yeah, she tried to sink to the bottom, but she was like only knee-high. Yeah.

They just found her in a pit. Yeah. Guinness for the world's largest cannonball. She tied a big stone around her neck, but it was actually, she was heavier than that. The stone floated. What is this shit? She evolved into this,

and then she pretended to kill herself for attention. It went super viral, and then they haven't posted since pretending to be dead. But if you call the Portland Police Department, They're like, no, he went and investigated that. They didn't actually jump. They just walked home. She owns Nemo's Pizzeria in Brooklyn now.

She doesn't do the right thing. She's Vincent Dinoffre. No. I forget that actor's name. The guy from Moonstruck. Yeah. She gets into arguments about Magic Johnson and Larry Bird in the 90s. They go, hey, how come it's only trans people on this wall?

It's my pizzeria. Turn your fucking radio down! Turn the Rush Limba down! So can I just verify if I've been... Is this the person who like four months ago said they jumped off the bridge and killed themselves? What we're looking at is a copycat suicide. This is the copycat. This is the person who's getting arrested for like CP shit.

Remember when white guys used to do copycat like serial killings? Now they're just copycat suicide. Because the white race has fallen. Of course, yeah. So this person never actually does. did it didn't she get made fun of a bunch and everyone was like that was disgusting but no they were right so i think i think we were confused this is a different person who pretended to kill herself at the same spot as that other trans person oh but this person was going

to get arrested for like abusing minors i believe yeah they were going to kill themselves for being a pedophile they actually didn't jump and they went to that same spot and said it is a beautiful view they were right and people like oh no another trans person's killing themselves there oh but no they didn't care because it was a pedophile so they're like fuck you got you but then they were just lying so the this person found out that emma um whatever their name is this is them graduating here okay um not to dead name sure emma was once uh whatever this dead name is here sure um goodbye everyone your night is retired found the birthday uh the channel uh and then this was somewhat interesting here

they gave us a house tour actually wait so they're not is this pre them transitioning because they look very yeah yeah exactly yeah much like a man yeah yeah yeah

make sure like subscribe this is when they were working on no pressure guys this is when they were working on the bridge they jumped off every dad is going to take place right here that's what I found out of further to do make sure like subscribe

shared to your friends no pressure guys and it's the tour guys I think I might fuck some kids first room right here this is where we're starting is my room right here yep believe it or not

I got the cable box for some reason yep have all these from the old house here's my nest of cables I owe here's some other nests in the house

I'm willing to show you it's just funny to be like I'm trans I'm a pedophile I'm gonna kill myself and then you don't actually kill yourself and then you just let everybody it went at 46 million impressions you're making you're letting the whole world think you jumped off yeah right the trans suicide bridge and you

didn't even do it yeah they go yeah what's your what's your like ultimate goal they're like just that people have a lot of arguments over this side through it some pedophilia some trans some suicide yeah all types of stuff how are you going to have the damn balls to be a petophile but not kill yourself pull like a tom sawyer yeah i feel like if you're going to be a tough fan you have very good because She tucked her penis and then raped a kid with it. What did you say, Ben? I just, I don't know, man. It's just, it's a funny world.

Did she get arrested now that she's alive? I don't think you can get arrested for not killing yourself. No, for the fucking the kids. Well, no, no, so she was grooming children and got outed for it and was like, I'm going to kill myself now. But was she really grooming the children or just like eating food? food out of their hair like a monkey. Yeah, like a reverse bird situation. She's a big bitch.

Yeah. She was stealing food out of their mouths like a baby bird. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she wanted to go from being called an asshole to a bitch. They describe the grooming. I read the whole suicide note. It's since been taken down.

And then posted the creep. She posted the Marshall Mathers LP. Yeah. The monster by Eminem. And what her name's Emma? Yeah, Emma. Yeah. But I think the Google document is taken down, which was the suicide note.

I don't think you can see it anymore. Can you click on it there? Yeah, it was a dead link. Let me see. Yeah, it's a dead link. Yeah. Also doing a suicide note, Google Box is very stupid. Google dead named her.

Yeah. Yeah, it's all very retarded. So she's still roaming the streets? She's still terrorizing. She's still terrorizing Chili's. Chili's treats her like a graboid from tremors. She's still fucking chilidron. Well, you know, tip of the hat to you, miss.

Thing. Miss Thing. You lived your life. What are the comments? Are they all like, fuck you? Oh, it's hers, Charlie Kirk. Okay, that's good. That's good.

That's very good I like that everything's Charlie Kirk Now that's good Everything is Charlie Kirk I mean here I'll show you the We can watch a little bit more The house store

Yeah I like the house tour Come on The house store is great Yeah Who doesn't love the house She's doing it MTV cribs But it's actual baby cribs Very good though

Right Here This is what I found I further ado Make sure like Subscribe, share it to your friends, no fresher guys. And it's the tour, guys. It's just, what I love about YouTube is I'm like, man, you're letting, you want everybody

just to look under the rock of the nightmare of your life. You go, come in, come here, everyone. Hey, hey, hey, you're sitting in seeing a nightmare? Come in, come in, come in, come in, no, come on, look at my nightmare up close. Look at the crumbs. You can almost smell it. Oh, it's so dusty in here. It's a one that you kill me.

You like it? Do you like it? I'm a suicide. It's kind of like flashing. Yeah. Flashing for your disgusting horrible life. But it's just you. Yeah.

He's going to laugh. Pulling a fucking trench coat open. People go, oh my God. Because, you know, the organism itself is disturbed. Yeah. What about the salad built for itself? Exactly. First room right here.

This is the room we're starting. Was that a bar room right here? Yep. Believe it or not, I got the cable box for some reason. Let's see it. I have all these from the old house, except the speaker. I think it's brand new. And this as well, yep.

I have an Xbox right here. That's my Xbox over there. Right there's the PlayStation. Yep. It's all to talk to Joker. Yes, you're right. That's the Children Machine. My TV, I only showed once in my channel.

This is my shelf right here. I pretended to kill my stuff. Kind of. We had the AC in the summertime. It's the fans right here. It's from them on low. to them want to get annoyed by the noise while making this video. I have my little thing right there.

Oops, it's a cat. Hello, Jax. I've seen you again. You're glad you're inside a severed data video or several vlogs video, whatever? Anyway, back to hell. Here's some more of house. More fans, because my house is full of stinky lines

from cartoons. So this, um, Finity one, obviously goes Camel box over there. This one controls the gun, pointed at my bed. This one controls the big Kate and always see you in a second. And for this one, right here, the swipe one.

It goes for that light over there, right? Okay, right there, guys. Yeah, because you can't walk so if you can't turn that on. Yep. Okay. Just a man who's never held a camera. Just put, never held the camera. This actually feels like a, like he's about to do a biopsy.

Okay, now let's go into my large. Those are some polyps That's a cancerous one I mean look at this shot Look at this shot That's cancer Wow Wow

Looks like my wall is metastasizing Now we're to the second stomach You'll see a race car A big toy race car And a yo yo What a disgusting life There's gotta be something more What a horrible pet of life

She goes to like her parents 16 guys They're just sitting dead at the dinner It's not supposed to do, like, adult stuff. What was that grunt? This is my bed, guys. I actually got a new bed right here. Okay.

Looks pretty nice, guys. My old bed, I think, was a seal size. This is a queen size right here, guys. Just goes up into the air. No, I'm not a queen or girl. Believe it or not, this is what I got. Got two iPads. It looks pretty nice, guys.

Also, one more thing I'll show you. This is my brand new tablet. Leave or not, actually looks a little bit different. It's all the top of the children on kick. All my clothes, guys. This is my 30-odd-six. I'm going to go kill Charlie Kirk. Shirts are stored.

It's one of my shorts are stored. This is the tub I shit in at night. It's getting kind of food. Okay. Here's my new phone. I got to see the bathroom. That's the toilet. So this is the bathroom right here.

Here's the toilet I blow shit with you. That's why there's toilet paper here, too. She's at the sink She's like, this is the toilet She's like, that's where I watch. She's like, that's where I watch. Yeah, and there's my new phone. Yep.

Yep. Yep. This is the sink, of course. Toilet. Where all the waste goes. It's such an interesting idea to be like, I want to be a vlogger. I have no fans.

You know what people want to see? The toilet. The toilet. They probably need to see where I piss and shit first before they can get on board. You know how I get fans? That whole brand. You know, I'll show every house in America.

The house that's every house. It's like an actual dog. It's like, well, you know, how do they trust me unless they sniff my ass? Hello, world. Here's my ass and pussy. Here it is. All right, sniff it. Now that I'm all out there.

No, no, laugh at me. I guess you can subscribe now. Oh, here's my hallway closet. Okay, good. It's good. The closets here. Yep. Wow.

There's a rice cooker, for some reason, toilet paper. She also shits in there. And there's, like, a CP room. And they go, yeah, the whole thing sucks after it. And she's like, and now this is where the magic happens. And it's like fucking 80K. Just a bunch of hard drives and aquariums. But like the stereo equipment where there's like magnets like floating so it's like extra

high quality. There's a hot tub with Roman Polansky in it. He gives the thumbs up. What is you like? That's Roman. He made one of my favorite movies. Knife in the water. We fought kids together.

Oh, my God. They actually show the parents. Mom's room right here. See? Jesus. They pretended to kill themselves because they're a pedophile and then came home. Turn it off. On.

Off. Wow. Wow, that's how fan works. Do people, like, start talking to kids on the internet because they're just bored and have nothing going on? And they need something exciting to do it. This is just like, this is so boring. I can't make adult friends because I suck so much. Because the kid's the only one that would be fascinated by me turning a light on and off.

Here's my parents. This is their bathroom right here. They have a lot more supplies than my bathroom, by the way. By the way. By the way. Yep, there's their toilet or more of my. That's where my dad takes huge shits. That's where my mom gets hurt to me.

Flawless features in line. They have more products, but more, less features. Okay, this is a diet. Ben, can I say, can I say really quickly? Pepto behind the lot. Can I say very quickly, you're going through the time stamps? There's pantry one and then pantry two. Oh, wow.

There's two separate food pantries. There's two pantries. They got a backup. They have to have a backup. I am kind of interested in the diet here. The hallway, of course. Get to the kitchen. Get to the kitchen.

I like this video, so I'll go back later and watch to see what the hallway looks. like sure by yourself so you can really enjoy it oh here's the music this is the pantry this is where I keep all the food this is what severed out eats every day ignore that sound that's a door closing this is our there's the wind the wind is outside today Everything here. Keys. That's, of course, a door that needs that side. I haven't used that in years.

I don't know if it even opens or not. There's also a second pantry, guys. I don't know why this house is too, but this is my pantry. See, guys, this is where we're just store cans stuff. Yeah. Yeah, thank God I was wondering.

Yep. I'm screaming at the screen. Where do you store cans? here's my here's my text penis and my weird legs dude this is such a nightmare like if you had a kid your only child i think this is an only child yeah what if you had an only child and they still led with you and we're doing this yeah i mean this reads like this reads like a found footage film like she's gonna pan and there's a dead dead person yeah yeah this DVDs.

That's Dylan and Eric Claybold. It's a picture, frame picture, Dylan and Eric. Here's where my dad keeps the DVD for click. I hope they don't get sued, but just by showing their names. That strack right there. He thinks he, thought he's going to get sued for showing DVDs.

I sure watched a few of those guys. Kill yourself. Kill yourself, I just heard you say, I sure watch those. Wait, like I said. Dude, I think I'm realizing that some of these people are so bored and lacks so much meaning in their life that they're like, what if I just fucking try to convince everyone I'm a lady or something? Yeah, I think that's how some of these people roll. Yeah.

I don't think it's all of them, obviously, but I think it's some of them. Yeah, I think some of them are like, well, my life is basically the same as an amoeba. You know, I just bounce back and forth in a petri dish. So I guess I'll go trans and then rape kids and then try to kill myself, but don't. I guess I'd do that Why not Yeah, fuck it Whatever

My life doesn't matter at all Not for one second Who cares It's so weird to be like I'm into every taboo Pretty much Yeah, let me get on the news Let me cause insane discourse for two weeks

Why not? My life doesn't matter Whatever, I'm bored I'm bored No second of my life is important So why not Part of you just want your parents to wake up at dinner you go mom dad like you try to tell him something they're like

oh fuck kill myself yeah i hate my life i hate you and you finally just say one day i'm gonna cut my dick off yeah you see their eyes go wide they're like they're what they look at you for the first time they make eye contact with you first time since fifth grade what the only time that they snap to is when they have their daily stroke but i think you're right i think the dad goes to work the next day and they're like wow roger you seem like really are you like are you alive for the first time. Are you a medication or something? He's like, no, my kid, I'm trying to be fake trans. So now I'm really, I feel emotion for the first time in here. It's a big story. Big story in town. We're really proud of him for making us all up. He woke us up from this slumber

that we all forced on ourselves for no reason. We really woke us up with that. No, we had a kid because we have never made a decision for ourselves ever. And now it's fake trans and it's really giving me something to live for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something about really touring like the average American house just in the middle of you know what whatever here's all my food I had to do nothing to acquire yeah no meaning to even consuming it yeah it's so like I consume too much of it here's the chair where I sit down and stare at the it is nice and we do live in a prosperous nation but there's something so devoid of any meaning or purpose in in every atom of it that it feels like touring like an African village yeah at some point you know like this is there's the sticks there's

the rocks. There's my brother's hands that they cut off because he didn't get enough rubber for the day. Like, it's got the same type of... There's the guy they elected. His name is Adolf Hitler. Yeah. Did you see that in Namibia? Yeah, black guy. Black Adolf Hitler got elected in, uh, I call it Namibia. Namibia? Yeah, it's what happened? There's a guy in Namabia, Jace. Yeah, it's, it's Nambo. I'm not about to pretend to know. Yeah, there's an African country called Nambla. There's an African country called Nambla. Some wild shit over there. Yeah. There was a guy literally named. Adolf Hitler.

Black guy. That is going to win the election. Yeah, he's going to be like the president of Nambla. It's so funny. He's just an African guy named Adolf Hitler. Yeah, he just looks, just picture an African guy. It's him, but his name is Adolf Hitler. I read a whole interview where he said his dad did name him Adolf Hitler, but didn't

know the connotations. He didn't know what Hitler actually did. He would name them after a different Adolf Hitler. Apparently there was a German settlement in the Mammabia. Uh-huh. in Namibia, I think. I don't know. Yeah.

I didn't even know it was a country. Yeah. I'm not worldly. I just see headlines with Adolf Hitler, I click. And sometimes I happen to learn something. This was one of those times. Yeah. But there was like German settlements there in the...

You learned about black people like clicking on an Adolf Hitler news story. I'm not even making it up. I'm going to show you. It's not every day a guy wins an election He turned into an Indian guy right there for a second I'll show you I'll show you! I'll show you! I'll show you! I'll show you Adolf Hitler, I love him. This is him. Oh yeah, this guy's all over Africa.

This guy, Adolf Hitler. He really, even for a guy named Adolf Hitler, he looks very funny. He rocks. You know Adolf Hitler would be so fucking pissed off if you saw that guy. I know, right? How much you want to bet, like, A-Pax behind this somehow? Oh, sure. Let's see here, except all.

Adolf Hitler... Wait, Adolf Hitler Unana. Yeah. A longtime local politician in northern Namibia, Nambla. Well, what about the eye there? How do you say that? Namibia. Namibia.

Namibia. Has secured re-election in the Ampunja consistency of the Oshana region. Yeah, that's how you say all that. Uh-uhnona, a member of the governing Southwest Africa's People's Organization, Swapo, has long acknowledged the controversy surrounding his given name, yeah, interesting. Adolf Hitler invited to the cookout. Yo, Hitler! Yo, Hitler's aunt.

Yo, Hitler's aunt. He'd be leaving the mac and cheese in the oven a little too long, but it's still good. But Hitler on. He fam. Hitler fam. Apparently he took Hitler off documents. Yeah, he did. Because it was controversial. So he just ate off a name chosen without context. He has no, he is repeatedly stressed. He has no ties to Nazi ideology. He has said his father gave him the name without understanding its historical significance during Namibia's decades under South African as administration. Yeah. So at 20, he's just like, he did what? Oh, my God. For me as a child, it was a perfectly normal name. It was only as I grew up did I understand. This man wanted to conquer the whole world. Well, that's one way to put it.

You know what somebody said, this man wanted to conquer the whole world? I have nothing to do with any of these things. Like, that's the reason we don't like him. This man, he was a little too greedy. He was ambitious. And that's the only sin he committed. See, look, other Germanic first names is not uncommon in the country. It was once a German colony before coming under South African rule under World War I.

Yeah, it achieved independence in 1990. and Swapo. So everybody was named Hitler up until like 30 years ago, I guess. Yeah, Eichmann and Buto, shit like that. Makes sense. Makes sense. He emphasizes. Yeah, whatever.

He's running for some bullshit. Yeah. God, I love that he looks like that. He's named Hitler. I know. It's awesome. I am Edelabiller. Hello?

I am Edelah. Yeah, that rules. God bless him. God bless you, Adolf Hitler, the politician, not the other guy. God bless you, black, Adolf Hitler. Yeah, good for him, man. Damn, I fucking hate. Hitler's always late.

He cooked the ribs at the last cook out. His shit was dry. Man, Hitler's always bringing the white woman to the cookout. What if he had his son who grew up to play in the NBA? and there was just a guy with Hitler on the back of his jersey. Yeah, LeBron passes to Hitler. Back to LeBron, back to Hitler. Slam dunked by Hitler.

Hitler from downtown. That would be a real problem if all the guys who came from Africa had the name Hitler. Yeah. We'd be in a real pickle. And they all looked like the Cambay Matambo. We'd actually have to change Hitler's name. Yeah, there'd be like a Hitler, Elijah one. Hitler Dreamshake Elijah one.

Muhammad Hitler. Yeah, Muhammad. My name is Muhammad Hitler. Elijah Muhammad Hitler Yeah Wimby's Yeah Wimby's name is just Adolf Eichmann Adolf Eichmann

Adolf Eichmann Has got the record For five blocks a game For a season He's fine with having Adolf Which also is not okay No Adolf's already crazy Yeah almost worse

He's exactly like it's okay He took Hitler off the end It's not You still got Adolf He's like I have changed my name Just Adolf fuck you but that is a African name

That's an African name My grandfather was named Fuck Juice Fine, I will change Adolph Kill all Jews Fuck Jews is my name In our language

Fuck Jews means No massacre All Jewish people It's different That's how famous Hitler was There's even guys In Namibia named after him Yeah

You know you really want to leave your mark After you're gone You have black guys named after you Yeah Still crazy to be like I know he wanted to take over the world And that's what you say about him

Well, he's technically right Yeah And maybe he's just a man who doesn't like to be crass Yeah So he doesn't like to get into the weeds of the Holocaust Maybe he hasn't even learned about the Jewish thing yet Maybe he's a couple of years removed from that Yeah, maybe he doesn't even

He hasn't heard about it I get it We all hate Hitler because he tried to bomb England I get it Yeah, he doesn't even know what Jews are He tried to kill real white people. Yeah, maybe, man. Yeah, I don't know.

Africa's funny as hell. Yeah. Africa, funny as hell. Yeah, I mean, if Hitler's going to win president of your, just don't have an election, just don't have a president. If it's Hitler, just have nobody. What does the president of these countries even do? I don't know. What does he get done?

Swat's the most flies. I generally have no idea. Yeah. He's, like, responsible for the GDP of $5. He keeps the $5 in his pocket. You come to me for a loan. Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler, umbatto. Yeah.

No, Africa is. That's kind of rules about Africa that they get the news late, I guess. Yeah, like 80 years late. They're always 80 years behind. Kind of like how India is watching Seinfeld now. I think I saw... You just get it so late. Yeah.

I think I saw something once where there's one guy in the world. You know, they have those things like, you know, like there's 85 people in the world named Jay Savory. There was one where it's like there was one man in the world named Gay Hitler. That was a guy's actual name. I think it was that. Gay Hitler. Yeah. That rocks.

Just like, hey, my name's Gay Hitler. You can do that, right? They can't stop you. No, I don't think they can stop you. Change your name to Gay Hitler. I don't think that's not allowed. They can stop you. with license plates they can reject that yeah you can't put gay hitler on a license plate but that's

not your but you can you can change your name you know to gay hitler i think you can do anything to your name pay the 50 bucks yeah yeah some guy had some like vanity plate i remember during covid and it was like it was like gtk which means gas the really yeah that got through yeah but it's like because okay so did you get drunk and you were bragging to like a cop that you that's what you guess what I'm not taking that breath Eliza and guess what my vanity plate stands for yeah he was trying to get out of a ticket

he's like you want to give me a ticket look at the words of the flirt I think it was GTK and then it was fuck the it was FTJ pretty sure that's what it was yeah so it was gas the K's fuck the J's yeah that was the yeah and Corey you have to be like no my best

friends are Gary Tom Jerry I remember it not even being that nice of a car yeah it was like a Honda accord. That's why he's angry because the Jews have all the nice cars. Guy in a Maybach

doesn't even give a shit. He's like, Jews are doing a great job. My life kicks ass. My vanny plate says I love Jews. Yeah, thanks, Jews. Thank you, Jews. Thank you, Jews.

I'm at the top. My car is very loud and people want to fuck me because of it. Thank you, Jews. Yeah, he probably just, yeah, he probably just lied and said it stood for like his dad's initials or some shit.

Customers plants are very gay. They are pretty gay. I've never really had an idea that I think would be funny enough to put on a license plate I don't want to pay the money it's like 80 bucks or some shit yeah fuck that yeah when I'm in

busy parking lots I have a lot of images of just starting to hit cars just like when they're slow in front of me just using the bumper I'm like the bumper is made to like hit you just start nudging people I love those videos where people are getting break checked and then they just fucking ran people off the road I'm always rooting for them you ever seen people holding a parking

spot oh yeah I've always wanted to just ram into them. Literally park on top of them and they're screaming. I go, well, it's not allowed. Slam my door and walked to my moving. I got an actual fight with one a month ago. Yeah. Lady holding a parking spot.

Asian ladies love to do that shit. It was a white girl, young white girl. Fuck her. Fucking the parking spot. I rolled down the window. I was at my girlfriend's her work event. And I just pulled in the lady's like, I was like, you got to move. You're not a car.

And she's like, there's lots of spots. My friend is right on the course. She goes, there's lots of spots around the corner. It's like, tell you a fucking friend to park there. Yeah. And then my girlfriend. was like, I'm at a, we're at a work event right now. I was like, oh, I'm sorry, that's, that's crazy.

Sorry, sorry, I just, I just screamed a year. No, good for you though. Co-worked. Good for you. That's good. But you are letting your emotions out. Yeah, but I did have the thought of like, no, I should pull on top of her. You should just keep backing into her until she's forced to leave. Yeah, just forced to move. When people, you know, stand in the middle of the street, like, protesting.

I'm a car. They should, I think, listen, if I was like governor or mayor or whoever needs to be in charge to make this a rule, I'd make it, if people are standing in the middle of the street stopping traffic for like a protest event. You don't get charged with murder if you run into them. I think it's, you actually should be allowed. Like, did you see what they were doing at LAX on Thanksgiving? Yeah, and people couldn't get home.

I don't know what it's about. Your wages. I hope it gets better, but this is not the way to do it. You don't stop somebody from going and seeing they're like dying, you know, mother on Thanksgiving. You should speed up, hit them. You should be allowed to hit them. Yeah, turn them into goo. It's actually, it's actually.

It's actually. Fuzzy Zoller's grandson could have been flying home to listen to him say racist things Yeah, one final end before he passed. One final end before he cut the turkey. Yeah, but that is a legit. That's the thing that piss me off. Like, somebody could be in an ambulance. Somebody could be rushing to the birth of their son.

You're a selfish cunt and you don't admit that at all. And the whole thing is that you're doing it for, you know, good positive reasons for yourself, for a cause. You're in fucking L.A. Everybody agrees with you. You have no idea what all these people think or what's going. Yeah, it's too general. Fuck you. Fuck you.

And I'd kill all bicyclists. I think all bicyclists should be killed that are major cities That's fair Hit the fucking hit the hiking trail If you're dressed If you're dressed like you like bicycling Yeah

If you're like a tour to France guy On sunset boulevard Hit him immediately You should be clipped You should be clipped and then you should be shot In the middle of the street Like a dog Because every one of you is a cock sucker

They go out on purpose To get in fights To act like people are not abiding by They love yelling They go out there to be babysit 45 year old man 45 year old guy to spandex Like fucking thing out there

thinking the whole world's out to babysit him. We're driving 4,000-pound machines, you little fag. You are lucky you don't die. I don't even know how people show up to these people's funerals that get hit by bikes. How do you show up and go like, oh, I can't believe this happened? What are you talking about? He's in a major city where it was built around machines. The priest should be like, this fag was on a bicycle.

That's why he's dead. You were dressed like a gecko. Speeding around. They should be looking out as a helmet. It's plastic. Yes. My car's metal. You're talking about.

You're on a piece of tin, you dumb fuck. You're on one of the largest arteries of traffic in the entire fucking country. Going 20 miles an hour. And you think this, like, white paint is, like, a barrier? I don't care that technically we're supposed to not hit you. No one should ever care if you get hit. Conspiracy time, too. I bet you they can go faster.

They can go 40-50. They can fucking go way fast. And they also never need to be on the bike. They're out having their little Sunday. They think they're, like, in a Fellini film. They're fucking, they're on this gigantic street with nine lanes. No, no, no. You're not in the south of France, bitch.

You're not having a lovely little Sunday. Burt Baccarat's not playing and your head's in the sky. You dumb asshole. Thinking everyone's there to babysit you. The only people on bikes should be fucking immigrants that have really tough jobs. And guys with DUI. And guys with DUI. That's it.

That's it. That's it. Kill all whites on bikes. Only whites. It's right. It's true. It's true. Mexican guy just has no car.

Yeah, the Mexican guy, I'm just going to, maybe it's even more racist to be, to care about him. I like the idea of Devin at an intersection, he looks to his right and he sees that bicycle that's spray-painted white hooked up to a thing with flowers and stuff, and Devin goes, good. Devin rolls his window down and spits on the bike. Have you seen the bike memorial where the spray-pant the guy's bike, right? You take a big shit on it. Obviously, I'm being insane here, but like it is a, I don't think you are. In L.A. drives me up a fucking wall, and the people, the guys on motorcycles that fly around traffic. when you're in bumper-to-bumper traffic and they're flying,

if they get hit and die, like how do people genuinely show up to the funeral? What do you say? What do you say? He had it coming. How did this happen? What do you mean how to do? Everyone should just send in a letter that goes, yeah, I mean, sorry.

Sorry, we told them not to do this. What the fuck did he think? We told them we weren't going to his funeral. Yeah, what do you say to a funeral for a man who wanted to die? Right. What do you say? You go, good job, buddy. It's like at a funeral for a guy.

committed suicide, you go up to do the eulogy he goes, he's happy. He wanted this. He goes, he wanted this. This is a happy day. This man, he's smiled. Look at him in the casket, he's smiling. Look at my buddy. He thought that 400,000 people at Rush Hour were looking after him. Isn't that cute?

He thought a city of 10 million people were babysitting him while he played with his toy on the 405. So he could be punk rock. He was playing with a toy on the 405 and he died. Sorry, adult child. Get a car

Get something with a fucking hood Hate them I know I really do And they have the nerve to hit your car Yes they will They will touch your fucking car Pull the gun out Here comes the blammer

Blammo mode When they When they like pull through a red light Almost get hit And they go What the fuck? Yes That's the only reason they do it

Yes It drives me nuts I think I have an angry A couple guys cornered my mom one time when I was like in high school. I'd love to beat the shit. Didn't see them. She was driving up the road and they were like,

did you not see us back there? And they started hitting her car and scaring her. And I've had moments with them. Were you literally, it's like, I don't know, buddy. I'm looking out for cars that could kill me. Dude, I was not you. Hey, hey, can you guys pass off a subreddit that really sucks at? There's a subreddit for guys who are really pro-bike and hate cars.

Is it called R slash faggots? I forget the name of the subreddit. It's all people that they hate cars. I think it's called R slash fuck cars And it's all people that ride bikes And they go Someone didn't see me today

And it hit me Yeah yeah Oh as I was going 60 Between someone take that whole thing We did clip it and put it on that Reddit And we're gonna get the most hate we've ever They are insane I made a video called I hate bicyclists

When I was like 22 years old And it got a ton of hate Everybody It's a really people get fired up about this It's their identity at a certain point And also you have something about your life life has to be going like you have to be in a position where you could devote your life to this cause because obviously you don't have places to go or people to see or you maybe

have a lot of money saved up or something you're not writing to friends yeah if your whole life is just like I somehow am a functioning human being and I make money and I ride a piece of tin around town and my biggest all I do is care about people in cars actually living trying to get places in a timely fashion doing jobs seeing people part of the industry dude it gets me I might clip it actually before the episodes even out and put it on our slash five cars do Because I get high, when I get called a fag nine hundred times, it, like, gets me high. It's like sniffing, like, cat urine. It's going to be guys in spandex tights calling us fags, which is hilarious.

You are like bad lieutenant for hate subdux. Oh, I love it. Oh, give it to me. You hate me so much. You want a little, like, key bump real quick. I seek it out. I'm like a truffle pig for people who hate me. Dude, I was on a hole in the other day, and I just rounded a corner in my lane still.

Bikes coming up the other way, and the guy just out of instinct just goes, hey! Yeah. I'm like, I'm in my lane. Yeah, you're just, you're excited You saw a car, you got excited Yeah, yeah, exactly Yeah, they go out with With this, on purpose

Like they haven't, they have an ad, They want to have a fight Yes, they're looking for something They gotta move to Europe If this is what they want to do, They gotta move to Europe Have to Europe, have it, go to a city That's not, unfortunately,

The car lobbies fucking Made every city run by cars So that's how this shit moves We're not catering to you Grow the fuck up Fake idea of a lazy Sunday ride. If you want to be a bike guy, move to fucking Portland. Move to San Francisco.

Get the fuck out of L.A. Exactly. Get the fuck out of New York. It's not a bike city. Exactly. Go to hell. Yep. Never will be.

And thank God. Christ. I hope we build more roads. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I hope we fucking destroy the earth with gas. I hope every road. I think of a bicyclist, I start revving my car in the driveway.

I roll coal. I hope eventually every road turns it to like rainbow road where if I hit you fall into space. I'll throw a big egg shell at you. Fuck you. A big, oh, a turtle shell? A big turtle shell. Yeah.

Wow, sad. Jace tried to make a joke about Mario Kart and said egg shell instead of a turtle show. Honestly, can we talk about Jason's performance? Jason lost his fastball. Jace used to be turning like 91. I was saying like 89 and it's sad. It's sad. He's the sad one actually.

The show has been so repetitive lately That being said, I've loved the last two months But besides that It's awesome been bad My Chin, my time With some of my favorite stuff Of our time in the church Yeah

My chain My Chin Don't you like my chine mine Young Gucci Mine And I'm popping off the chide mine And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci

My chine My chain, don't you like my chain mine? Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mind. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine, or you call me Gucci, Gucci. I came to the club, just to fuck my chain line. Catch another charge and I'm going to the chain guy. Oh, I think I'm icing.

Sold a hundred dollars, in baloney, sex, and white screen. Don't you see how bright it is? city girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is these girls they be choosing diamonds be so sparkingly they think my chain was moving my chain is out the chain stack to me some money and bunch it off and bought a chain check the way my chain hang gocha i don't gang bang all i do is change my chain don't you like my chain man young goocha mine and i'm popping off the And my Jacob is so fruited, call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci Gucci. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chine mine?

You're in Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chain, mine. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci, mine. No, you call me Gucci, Gucci, you be shining, man. Gucci, you be shining, man. Don't turn me home, home. Tell me who you're diamond man. My girlfriend acting like.

She say I'm acting different just because I got this. Chains. Haters get your hater on. When they see them yellow stones holler at you later on. My chain hang to my shoe scrank. Like my watching wine, but I know you love my chain. My chain hang to my dingling. I do my dog thine when I'm in the club, man.

When you hurt so icing, you thought of Gucci, mine. I got that stupid mind and so I bought a stupid chain. My chain, my chain. Don't you like my chain, man? Mine, young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chime, mine. And my Jacob is so fruited, call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci. My chine, my chine, don't you like my chine, mine? Young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chine, mine.

And my Jacob, it's so fruited, call me Gucci, mine, or you call me Gucci, Gucci? My first chain I had to rob for it. Jesus peace, yellow diamond sitting all in it. I'm on some slick brick shit 2006 Mr. T Diamond's so bright Ain't no way you can't see the G Look I don't dance I just lean with it

My piece is sick Gary Robert Trying to leave with it I got that New York fitted on Full suit dicky on Gucci link chain Blue stones in a nigga charm Now watch me do it Do it with no hands

Traps when he craned on that bezel In that band Cause I'm the man I'm the man God No wife, but my chain got my girlfriend. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chine, mine. Yung Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chine, mind.

And my Jacob is so fruited, call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci Gucci, Gucci. My chine, my chine, don't you like my chine, mine. Young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chine, mine. And my Jacob, it's a fruited. Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci.