lemonparty - 163: The Whole Funny Affair

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

After a wild night at Joey LaFleur's live movie premiere/play/prank call show Devan loses his mind, Jace sizes up the Cinnabon lady fired for shenanigans, they weigh the pros and cons of Devan adopting a killer, and Ben is shorting the market.... this week on lemonparty. https://www.lemonparty.life/ https://drinkag1.com/lemon https://expressvpn.com/lemon bonus episodes ⁠https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One chicken, one, chicken, one, chicken, whews. Chicken, one, chicken, chicken wings. One, one, chicken wings. Yeah, you like my outfit, don't even make the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill. Always in my face, talking listening. Girl, I ended up about some real for the cataract. You ride clean, but your gas take.

But your gas tank is on me Be stepping now they got no decent shoes on your feet That's just to feed it bro. You don't know what you're talking about In the face, there's no choice when the come out Hate to see you in the club You're bombing with a mug No one that you're bad with your boy, you're nothing but a scrub

But he was with me That's when you treat hate it Cause when I got up on you in your bed near faith I showed it and I face drinking on the act Mouth full of clothes But your ass needs to be too Hey, text. What you need to go.

Real nice little time. Hello. Okay. Test one, two, check. Still calibrating a little. Let's calibrate. Let it cal. Are we on?

Yes. Okay, real quick. I just want to say, fuck Paul Dano. Burn in hell. Burn in hell. Worst actor and sag. You fucking, you know charisma. Bad.

And Matthew Lillard. Matthew Lillard, there's a special place in PRIS. You know what? Finally somebody's taking Matthew Lillard down. Fuck them both. You know, Matthew Lillard has had it too easy for too long. Did he play Shaggy and Scooby-Doo? What a career he's had. Yeah, and that's too much for him. Fuck him. Fuck you. You should be rotting on the streets, Lillard. Yeah, which does mean Tarantino was watching, like, Scooby-Doo, like, Skoll Island. He's like, he ruined the fucking movie. It's insane what Tarantino's been doing lately. What the hell? I know. He says movies are the number one movie of all time. You're like, I liked that until

you've said that? Yeah, now I'm like, fuck that. Midnight in Paris, one of the best movies of the 21st century? Yeah, I don't know. That's crazy. I love that movie. That's crazy.

His whole thing is just to, it's just to be like, whoa. Like, I'm actually on a different plane than you. It's, I appreciate regular movies. Ben said it's the most carefully choreographed list, like of all time. It is, yeah. It's that high-low bullshit that drives me crazy. It's the David Chang putting caviar on a Popeye's biscuit. It's like, oh, you're not.

only the smartest most talented man of all time. You're also a man of the people. It's actually really annoying. It's like it's acting like you're the only person that appreciates like chili fries or something. You're the only person who knows that Black Hawk Down is the greatest film of all time. Yeah. Which is, it's a good movie. Fucking retard.

Fucking big head of free. DeKold Paul Dider, the worst actor in SAG is crazy. There's people in SAG that never work because they suck shit. The guy from Windy City Heat is in SAG still. That's crazy. Are we sure, Tarantino wasn't just fucked up at Radisson Allen's Alice's house?

I mean, sure. Like, he might have, was he fucked up? I didn't listen to the podcast. Me neither. But to be fair, like, he probably was just like, I think you maybe forget how big you are and you just think you're just talking shit, like on a podcast, no one will listen to it.

And then you're like, no, it's going to be news and it's going to look like you made a statement. That's fair. He could have been like people were listening to Eli Roth's podcast. Because it comes out and it literally looks like Quinn Tarantino made a public statement. Like, fuck Paul Dano. And fuck Matthew Lillard, too.

You are right. It's my favorite thing when a celebrity does a podcast. They're like, I like grapes. And then they're like, Paul Dato likes grapes. Yeah, exactly. Like they came out, like they declared it. Yeah, like the Tiger Woods apology. Yeah, like they're just talking like us.

Imagine if we had headlines. Like, Devin Rapes! Lemon Pottie Boys say rape is good and murder everyone. Ben Avery says people should be killed all over the country. Devin's the Devon. I'm driving Devin back from Joey's. abortion of a show in West Hollywood we get out of there immediately I have to take all the baby seats out the back and bark Richie Devin Connor I'll hop in you put Joey in a baby seat

yeah Joey I don't know where Joey was Joey wound up at the comedy store hammered I don't know Joey's like riding horses around West L.A. or something yeah basically for context for anybody our friend did a live prank called show must Hollywood so after Do you remember being in the backseat Because you were kind of doing this A little bit You were kind of a bobble hat in the back I ate at one in the afternoon

And then went to the show And I was uncomfortable Because we're around a bunch of weird monsters So I just I started drinking like high ABV beers I only had like seven but But you didn't eat I didn't eat

I was fucked up So Devin was doing the classic thing In my backseat The whole way down Sunset Boulevard He's like Everybody should be killed if we'd say something No, no, no, no, no, no, everybody needs, everybody needs to die

Turn the radio down Everyone should die Everyone needs to die Everybody And then like a person would cross the crosswalk A devil would open one eye and goes, that person should kill themselves I kept driving I kept saying it's gonna be a sad Christmas for Costa this year

It's gonna be a sad Christmas And you just go, fuck you, I want to see my dog. I miss my dog. I just go, sad Christmas. It's going to be a sad Christmas for Costa. I've been actually, you know what, despite what I showed you that night, I've been happy. I've been, I've been feeling good. I have.

I feel like I turned a new leave. We pulled over at a pizza spot, Doberts Pizza. Devon runs in real quick, and I thought he was. coming back out with the pizza but he's being such he's started eating it over the trash can hansed over like this yeah he's like a whole pizza I saw that on Instagram so rather than him bringing the pizza out to us because we got it to go we had to watch him

eat two slats really hot slices burning his mouth I was burning through the window and he's just eating it and then he comes back in and he slams the door he goes Dobricks fucking sucks everybody you guys everybody in there should kill themselves David Dobrick needs to kill himself

fucking it sucks first time I did stay longer because they got my order wrong, so I had to, they had to remake it or something. It's so funny considering there's five pizzas in there and they're all pre-made. I know. Listen, by the way, I have no memory of why it was

wrong. I probably made that up. I don't know. You were you holding it backwards and you thought they made it that way. Maybe I was like, it's this bread. You did it. You did bread in the middle, you fucking retired. No, but Ritchie, like, ordered something. So I was waiting for him while I was eating over the, I remember eating over

the trash. Richie was getting his waiting for his life. So I wasn't just holding you guys back. But I did. I'm sure I was like a drunk pig. And I'm sure I did hold you up. I have no respect for you when I'm drunk. I'm like Ben's in his fucking,

he's in his robot car. Wait for me. It rocks. Yeah, you like that? It rocks. People think I'm shitting on you. I'm not. It ruled.

Okay, you enjoy it. It's a great show. Because you're drunk in the back seat and then once the other two people got out, you basically had the back seat to yourself and you're just sort of slamming it to the window and slamming back. And then you just sort of come back into yourself

and you go, Everybody needs to be putting a hole in the ground and buried alive. And you just go, you go, I'm going to kill everyone. I should kill everybody in the city. He's like a little, he's an angry hool-a-doll on the dash. We just shaking. We drove past the vista, and we go, oh, is Tarantino outside? Because it's the kill-bill bloody affair.

Yeah, I remember those. He should be shot in the head. He go, where is he? He's just how to shoot him He's pissing me the fuck off lately You're like having fantasies of being Luigi Mangione But just for Quinn Tarotino

It's just everything's so finished you know It is true It's a valid point When you get drunk It's like it's so much more illuminating Yes Because we're driving past billboards

Of meaningless shows It's just the worst It's just the worst ever West Hollywood is full of I mean nothing sets me off More than West Hollywood Is that where the show was? Yes it was

deep west of Hollywood too. It's the worst area in the world, man. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. I like Hollywood more. Me too. I truly like Hollywood. I can't believe I'm saying. I like Hollywood more and Hollywood should burn to the ground. Because at least Hollywood has the decency to know they're sad.

You know what I mean? Yes. Like the fat Spider-Man is like, I should kill myself. But there's guys in WeHo who are getting prep shot into their asshole like, my life great. Yes. Yeah. Everyone in Weeho is just like having, you getting drugged and fucked in the bathroom

and having their phone stolen I don't know there's something going on where it's like people keep dying while alive and it's pissing me the fuck off I'm like if you've done great shit like just never speak again don't show your face

don't pop your head out Tarantino is pissing me the fuck off by the way he's losing his fucking mind because he doesn't he already made his tenth movie He knows he can't top once up at a time in Hollywood, apparently. He's fucked himself for no reason. And so now his whole thing is, like, he's this, like, gay, like, fucking pop culture critic guy

with awful, like, big head retard opinion. He sucks. It sucks. And I'm like, oh, did, what, did you combine kill? What, so there's just no credits after Kill Bill ends? It just keeps going. Wow. What a return to form.

I don't give a shit. You put out a five-hour movie? He goes, Devin, you don't understand my editor did that, okay? I didn't do anything What is so special about that That they put the movies together Oh okay Devon he owns the theater

No he's saving cinema I walked by it today There's a much of homoes out front Walked by Walk by the Vista today People talking about Vista vision Just yeah those types Because they go the film runs horizontally

Instead of vertically up the thing This is great And one day we'll be able to make this And it'll upload it to YouTube Netflix It's not even going to exist anymore You pop into that Jackie Brown coffee shop You get a little... Pam's coffee's cool

I go there sometimes The coffee kind of sucks ass The coffee's not good But I jack off to the cup So that's good It's got Pam grew's big tits On my coffee cups I can comment on it

I mean all that's cool Tarantino did a great job He did save some of the most legendary theaters in L.A save the Vista The new Bev is cool I love all that But I'm just a little sick of him Being in the news for anything

But his new movie By the way like Kind of a cuck a little bit Letting Finch Make your thing. Bit of a cuck move. He got cucked by Fenture. When you're a guy that's all fucking, you know,

you're really competitive with filmmaking. A little interesting that you're kind of afraid to turn the camera on yourself these days. And he kind of sucks so much. He's ruining two great careers at once. His and Fentcher's. A little bit. By Fenture making a sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

And I feel like it will be decent. I don't, I can't imagine that their powers together will make like a bad movie. But it is a little too on the nose. I'm like, But it's once a time in a Louis just came out. It's a great movie. What are you doing this for?

Like, it almost feels like you're making like a cheap mini-series or something in a movie. I don't know. We'll see. But it's going to be straight to Netflix, right? So fuck you. Fuck you, actually. The fact that any of these guys ever agreed to these deals. Even Scraise, I mean, listen, I know it's hard to get funding to make your movie.

But, like, I don't think they knew the evil they were becoming a part of. And now Netflix just bought WB. Where you go, yeah, and hey, Netflix gave me millions of dollars. dollars to make the Irishman and so it's the only place that would let me do it so I'm going to do it it's like all right well now but now they have you eating out of their fucking pawn they're gonna rule of movies they're like

and they told me it's gonna be playing in two theaters for a week now I was playing in one theater for a day yeah it's fucking sex can someone explain to me why now officially cinema's over because Warner Brothers was bought by Netflix I didn't I don't understand can I tell you I didn't care enough to look into it at all I just call guys who suck tweeting about it so I said

that's a thing it's because it's one of the biggest They're one of the biggest studios left, and it's just, it just means, like, another fish aid a... But wasn't movies already going to Netflix and Hulu and all the shit anyway? But Warner Brothers at least had, like, most of the movies that we would go see in theaters, I believe. So now that means, like, those now become Netflix productions. Yeah, Warner Brothers did have, like, the last big original movies,

like of the last couple years. So now the ones that we went and saw, like, they're going to have a hard time being in theaters. It's just going to be that big N at the front of the screen, which is great. Which we all know what that means. Which we all love. Netflix throws that end up there. Well, that's why they create Netflix is to get you away from black people on a movie theater.

They're like, imagine a movie, but there's no one yelling at their baby. What a world it would be. But yeah, I think that's kind of the fear behind it. I get it. So now it's like, you know, what you got like, it just means like now there's essentially like two companies. Yeah. And Netflix is one of them and everything's just going to be straight to Netflix. Netflix does kind of exist to absorb great careers and kind of shut them down.

Like, Ryan Johnson is only doing 20, you know, Bin-W-W-Blan movies. Yeah, it's Jeffrey Dahmer, you know, at the gay club. Yeah. Fucking asses. Oh, no, you're thinking of Ryan Murphy. Ryan Murphy. What's Ryan Johnson? Do you?

Yeah, he's a looper guy. What does he do now? He just makes the fucking Bin-Wa-Blanc. The hell is that? Glass Onion. Is that a Chris Ben-Wan, like a musical? That would be better. No, the Knives Out movies.

Oh, those suck shit. Yeah. He should kill himself, that guy. The Looper was so good. Somebody'd be like, remind me who he is. Who is he? And he's this guy, and you go, I hate him. Let him burn.

Oh, yeah, I hate him. You're like a little king down here. To the gallows. Knives out is a piece of shit. I saw one of them, and it was horrible. Like Daniel Craig's doing like a foghorn, leghorn impression. The third time. He's very bad.

He sucks. He should kill himself, that guy. everyone should kill themselves you go outside in the movie the happening happening you're like finally good good good good put your head in the lawnmower dipshit you guys should be killed

you should all be killed me too me as well the fact somebody hasn't killed me is pathetic oh tarantino ran into a big Tel Aviv rocket good good oh that's so funny that I was talking that way

because I've been feeling better I have. Yeah, but alcohol does it, you flip a switch. Yeah, we were also at like an event where it just felt like we were in some sort of bizarro world. You hated every single person you saw. You know, I liked, I liked a little bunch

of them, I guess, but it was just odd to watch. The clips I saw, I texted you, it looked like those old clips, like in black and white, of Charles Mengus eating pie on stage. Just Charles Mingus with a gun eating pie because he's on hair on it. Ben, did you hear that that gay guy that like Ryan the bouncer who's the star of the movie he invited who's a regular

for anybody who doesn't know what we're yeah Joey there's a bouncer at Joey's bar and he made a windy CD Heat movie about this guy basically and then made a fake movie premiere and we all went to West Hollywood we did a Q&A with him yeah and me and Joey performed a live play and there was tons of like hardcore gay pornography and that was super violent they were they were broadcasting it on YouTube somehow it was somehow a six hours share Apparently, the GoofCon Live, the GoofCon YouTube channel is apparently, like, protected by, like, the greatest lawyers in the world. And then I can't believe it's still. Yeah.

The ACLU is keeping GoofCon out. But so, so the main actor in the movie invited, like, the fake movie, invited this, like, extremely gay, regular at the bar. I saw her. The lesbian girl. Filipino guy. With the slick back hair? Yeah, yeah. He, like, shakes hands backwards.

Oh, yes. Because you're so gay. You have to, like, the whole world. has to revolve around you yeah you're not an adult anymore basically you're so gay you're not an adult yeah you turn your hand into an asshole all of a sudden yeah exactly all of a sudden people have to like shake your hand backwards you go you go i'm so i'm so gay fist my hand real quick yeah whatever you know i respect all gays but i don't like when they like do their whole weird thing and like be being adult grow up how you doing nice to meet you you don't go

nice to meet you and like put your hand under your ass and like shake my hand now i'm making uncomfortable that probably means you're at bottom right Because you're like, I receive you. Maybe. It might be some secret. Did he do like a curtsy? Like you were supposed to crap? Hi, I'm a straight man.

So here's how it was. Somebody introduced me to him and they were like, hey, Devin, this is blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah, like this. He was like, nice to me. Yeah. He like did this, like, weird thing. And I wanted to like, I wanted to fucking pull out a tire iron right there.

And go broke back on him? So this gay guy, he stormed out. out of the show. Why? He stormed. Yeah, exactly. So I didn't watch a lot of it, but I imagine fag was said a few times throughout just by people on stage.

Well, that's Joey's acting union is fag. And also, I don't even know if it was like the gay jokes or like, like slurs. I think it was. The security guard. I think the guy, once the movie started and he realized what was going on, he's like, this is horrible. Like, you're making fun of this. And he's my friend, and I see him at the bar every day or whatever.

He's having a sane reaction. He was, so actually, he was, it was a horrific event. He was having a fully, fully normal reaction to what he was witnessing. He still had, he still had a little bit of his humanity that had him been sucked out. Yeah. He was one of the Nazis who put down his rifle at Duchenberg or whatever. So I guess John had to, like, talk him off like a cliff and then he left. He stormed out, but like, John had to talk to him because he was like getting on John about it.

Like, what is this? What are you part of it? what are you a part? What type of nonsense is this, Buster? Wasn't there also another guy with a mesh shirt in the back? That was a hired actor, Joey got to dress up like Mr. Slave. Okay. That's good.

That's a good bet. Joey was like $4,000 or $5,000 in the hole putting the show on. Joey told Jesse Velasas who was in some of my old videos back in the day who was like filmed stuff. He filmed some of our golf videos. Yeah, yeah. He was going to have Jesse film the event. And then like the day or two before he says,

Jesse, I can't pay you, buddy. I'm in the fucking hole here. But you're still welcome to come. It'll be free, you know. We walked in, there's hookers. Joey had hookers. People planted in the audience as like gimp. They weren't really hookers.

They were just dancers he got off Craigslist, but they probably suck dick. No, if you paid him an extra hundred dollars, they'd suck his dick until he can't. Joey hired a Kevin Hard impersonator. Who was fully... He was from Nigeria. He was fully, he was from Nigerian. Yeah, he had like dreads kind of. Was he just a short black guy?

He was just a tiny black guy. And he just, he went up through, he was like, oh, hello. Oh, hey, I am Kevin Hart. I mean, it was amazing, smack. Joey was yelling at the owner of the club the whole time. I feel like he was fucking it up. Joey treated the owner like they had been, like, in business together for decades. Joey was out of his throat.

And he was over it. Joey's paid like $200 for the room. And the guy was running all the tech. And Joey was like, this guy is fucking us over here. He's absolutely fucking me. Yeah, at one point the guy goes, I'm just one man. Oh, my God. Me and Joey wrote a play where we're Austin detectives,

and Joey's trying to get me to go undercover to be gay, and he keeps, like, gay bashing me, and he makes me sit in a kiddie pool, and he wants me to start jacking off, and he's going to pour a bunch of slime all over me. Right. And the guy saw the script, he's like, you can't pour, you can't just pour slime all over my stage.

And Joey's like, oh, so you hate us? Fascists! Joey texted me. I'll tell you my text, because Joey's still mad about it. I just love. He's so mad, he said, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, uh, the owner fucked us.

And I go, what, what happened? And he goes, I meant with not letting us do slime. And he goes, what a scumbag. I'm never going back there. Like he's, like, he's, like, a four-hour show. He was unbelievably annoyed. What the guy that happened was highly illegal. There's a bunch of booze being served that, no, there's no license.

for. The people on the crowd are frees. There's people in the crowd smoking blunts. There's like a guy doing heroin. People are doing drugs. No, dude, it's literally, the show was a Jacob's ladder flashback. I know, dude. It all happened in Tim Robbins' mind.

And somehow this guy still was like running the lights pretty well. Like everything played at the right time. Joe had a projector. He's switching microphones. He ran everything perfectly. Joey's like he's fucking man. Joey texted me, he goes, that guy was such a creep. He acts like he was a pervert.

because you would yell at him and you go hey buddy he's like we're not showing this gay porn right now we're showing the other gay porn because we had a ton of gay porn that we were playing behind us on a projector as evidence gay porn porn because me and Joey are our detectives and we have like evidence of guys getting like chocolate poured on them and masturbating and he was showing actual just gay pornography great like crazy hard poor gay pornography or even gay guys are like that sucks it's crazy yeah it was insane but we had it was like almost illegal and Joey was live on YouTube the whole time, so people could just see. But it was so far in the back, they probably couldn't make out the game for. They could see it perfectly. Really? Oh, I didn't check it. Yeah. But then Joey to walk away and be like, he's in great. Joey, so Joey was on so much Adderall, too. He's been up for like three days straight. Joey stayed up all night. Joey acted, Joey, the show ended and Joey was like, I'm in Led Zeppelin. He like went to a hotel and trash the place. I told you. I told you. I told you. I

I got a call. I saw him the next day. We went, we had to record the next day. We go to, me and Connor meet up with him at a bar like two right by his house. He immediately orders, he orders two double whiskey sodas. I go, did you get any winks? He's like, not really, not much. He'd been up all fucking day.

Yeah, I told you that night. I didn't go. You said you almost called me to tell me not to go to the show. Yes. I got a text from Kevin Tinkinit at 2 a.m. Just at the comedy store was him. And I see just Joey, like, with no, just black eyes staring straight at him. Because he was so fucking ripped at the store.

At the store. He was going there to write his name on the wall. I love that Joey is like our captain beef heart. He's, I mean, he's genuinely like the funniest guy to ever exist. He's too funny. To follow through with that is mentally deranged. Yeah. He's so funny, it's going to kill somebody.

And he put so much thought and effort into these things. And it's all about fucking with a, with kind of a retarded guy. And I love, no, I don't mean that. I hope he doesn't listen. I love him. He apparently did get into, he apparently, the night did end with him apparently sobbing and getting, getting put into an Uber. It's not great.

But I heard it wasn't, I heard it ultimately, I heard it wasn't, it wasn't over being embarrassed. He was embarrassed. He got too drunk. not from the movie it wasn't from the movie making fun of him and everyone making fun of him and then the Q&A where everybody and the Q&A where everyone was like being ironic

and being like you suck it wasn't that he got too drunk he was embarrassed about being too drunk it was all his own fault and he woke up with 30 friend requests and I'm sure they're all sincere I'm sure no one's following him ironically and I'm sure none of our fans

will ironically message him and screw with him and so it was was all a lovely time. Sounds great. For the best. It was for the best. Did it make me rethink my entire life? You and I woke up the next day. We were like, what are we

doing with our lives? I know you guys were texting the group chat. I was like, fellas, it's gonna be okay. No, I was specifically asking I was like, was that piece of shit there? And you're like, yeah. I'm like, fuck him. I was joining him from long distance sniper shots. What are you going to do, man? What are you going to do? No, Joey, it's just Joe's too

funny. He's too funny for being a real living person. Yeah, no, he actually, I mean, we, we don't deserve him. Yeah. I've never felt like, I, sometimes I'm around Joey and I, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I need to be certain he's actually real. He's real. He's not, he's not our bag or van. Yeah. He's going to disappear into a big cornfield. He is the love of my life that guy you want to any of you guys want to go see i guess you can't what you want to go see the whole bloody affair what five the at the vista tonight well i don't know if i can't tonight it's five hours yeah it's four hours in like 30 minutes we're also going to an NFL game tomorrow oh yeah i've never been to an NFL game me neither i'm assuming it's gonna suck ass football games

live kind of stink yeah i saw i went to a u sc game once and i just looked like a bunch of retards falling on top of each other the entire time you can't like you need to actually be like on the you know in the middle like on the side yeah just to we're also going to a charges game which who gives a shit fuck the chargers it's a ram's chargers no it's chargers uh eagles i think oh really yeah it's charges eagles oh go eagles fuck the chargers so who knows that'll be interesting five o'clock it is funny or ad people act like they have to like wine and dynos I know I'm like, we're amazed you get us money. Yeah, I'm like, I literally can't believe we're allowed to sell ads.

Yeah, I know. They're like, hey, we wanted to take you guys that treat you guys. I'm like, didn't even the last email, last week we got the email that Zoc Doc's mad, we said we're going to shoot heroin in our face? You guys are like angry at us all the time, I thought. Yeah, we had to pull that ad. Yeah, we had to pull that because Zocococs like you said, you can't say shoot hair. What did we say? We said, instead of going to the doctor, we're going to fill you with heroin and Zoc Doc got mad about that.

I don't remember that. Yeah, I don't remember saying that at all. Yeah. Well, they do. Did they get mad? I said Zog, dog. No, they're like, that's actually the first name we came up with. But they did email us back like three weeks later, so they got the whole ad spot every single view before it was taken off.

And then another one later on. There's a Patreon. There's a Fags. Is it a Patreon? No, it's fine. They're not going to see this. They watch the fucking minute of the- Patreon, right?

I guess. They watched the minute of the ad. Is it tight baseball? Should this be a public? Whatever you want to do, but. Whatever. We'll see how the next one goes. It doesn't matter.

You know, what if I, what if we all just decide to say it a bunch on the next? Then that's the page. That's why I like to say. We decide what the Patreon is. I like to never say, I like to never say 35 minutes in. Like, is this the page? Because then we just really start letting it fly. Exactly.

Then you never know. And then we're really backed in a corner. And then we're fucked. Yeah, we constantly screw ourselves here. We're like, that has to be a Patreon. And then the next episode, we pull up a gay fat guy within one minute. And we're like, all right. Well, I guess it's not the Patreon anymore.

I just, I just want to go see the whole bloody affair. I don't really want to go to go to this football game. Yeah. I want to go see Kill Bill Volume 1, Volume 2. Should we cancel on the only people who do advertising force? We make them buy us tickets to the Vista. Was the ticket that much for all of them owe them like

400 bucks? Oh, I don't know. I don't know what it has a little. I have no idea. I imagine they're very expensive though because it's like there's only eight of them a year. What if we just say, hey, sorry, none of us can make it. Here's $600. Go fuck yourself. What if we, this is how we break up with our ad people?

They're flying out here to go to the game With us With us The minute they land We send them an email that goes Go fuck With $600 This hatch though

600 bucks Right right Yeah by the way We're still doing the rest of the ads We have booked We go here's 600 bucks We're gonna mention you by name Every single show

And your company We're gonna take you down I don't know why these companies Get so mad if you just They like make jokes I don't know it's a stupid service there's just pieces of shit yeah

fuck them fuck them go to hell they work for Israel it's retarded because they want you to they're they have fun with it yeah exactly and then they're like no not that type of also they like write ads like us sometimes they try to like play into

your style of humor I mean listen anyone that is is being influenced by ads on podcasts is lower than dirt Mm-hmm

Speaking of, I think it's about time Let's get into a chase Do we have ads? I think it's about time I'll see your heads this week Let me say a bunch of things I really mean into a microphone That I would never say if I wasn't getting paid

Go ahead The floor is yours Go ahead. Yes, thank you. Whatever. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a sincere moment to talk about AG1. Athletic Greens. Hey, guys, AG1 is the daily health drink.

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God, I love them. They keep this thing of ours going. God, can you imagine we have to, like, that's the only money we make is from advertising. It's from ads. We make $1,100 a year. I'd stop doing the shop. There's shows where they have no viewership,

but they make, like, $100,000 a year off ads somehow. I don't know how they work. It's all, like, Ponzi's beans and mob sheds or whatever, where they have, like, 43 views. on YouTube, but they're, like, ranked in the New York Times or something. Like Stephen Baldwin's show or some shit like that. Ben?

Yes. What's going on with you, buddy? You're always fucking sitting in the corner over there with your hat down, looking like Jeff Dye. Hat too low. That's you in the corner. That Redmore thinks so funny. Hat too low.

About Dye? Yeah, yeah. Oh, he destroyed Dye. I'm surprised Dye still is, like, even showing his face. Yeah. Die is like what Redbar did Die is the world's locale

It's kind of amazing People hate die Every single person hates die I don't get it Yeah He's cool as shit Can't even Griff good Too retarded to grift

Yeah What a retard Yeah texting he's like texting Rogan like do you like me And then like requesting Like $500 on Apple pay Yeah

Fuck him Yeah Piece of shit Fuck him Fuck him Everybody, but us. But us. How about that?

Going to an NFL game, we're big shots. You see that? People are taking us to NFL games. I actually, I like so many people. It's just not funny to talk about who you like. It's not funny to be positive. You go, I enjoy them. Who else do we enjoy?

Who else do we enjoy? Dude, that fucking kicks ass. It sucks. Fuck you. You know why I like them because of this? And you go, oh, amazing. Great. Next.

Yeah, exactly. You know why I like John Hughes films? This is why. Next. Yep. Then we just move on. I also love. I love puppies.

I love petting them. Exactly. I like, I like blue skies. There's no room for anything. There's nothing there. You actually, it's like, do you want me to dig around my, that, my sick brain? I have to hate. It's how we say a lot.

I'm trying to... I'm opening these gooey drawers, digging in there. Finding old knick-knacks, horrible memories, pain. There's no searching when you like. That's right. When you're a liker. When you're a liker. There's no need to search.

There's no mirror. There's no, exactly. There's no mirror. because we see things about ourselves that we hate it. Exactly. And then we were set off. But when you hate, you dig. Mm-hmm.

When you hate you, because you're, you're, when you hate something, you can finally look yourself in the eye. Yeah. And go, not only did you suck ass, but so do I. Yes, exactly. And you go, because I suck ass, everything else in reality sucks ass too. It's, it opens everything out. But if you kill that mirror, then you can no longer see the image of yourself.

That's all people. That's why you go, that thing has to go. That's all people need, by the way. All you, all you, like, everyone goes like, pretty rich. of them to talk about that when they're that and I'm like it's one of those things it's like all I have to do is go like I'm this okay that guy should kill himself is that that's all it takes sure they go well checkmate by them well I've been defeated sounds as if they defeated me mm-hmm yeah they're a bunch of haters unlike me

who hates the thing that hates everything I've defeated them once again can't believe they have a standard of quality for what they've loved their entire lives. They should stop hating and just take it in the ass. People are really bad at the Cinnabon lady, which I've been laughing very hard about. Who's this cunt? You haven't seen the Cinebon lady? No, I don't know why I called her a

cunt. She's probably a lovely lady. No, she's a wicked woman. No, she's a horrible cut. And she's probably fat, so go to hell. Yep. I imagine you're fat. Because of Cinebun. Is she fat, is she big fatty? I'm surprised you guys haven't seen this. No. Oh, shit, sorry. You just wrote Inabon.

Inabon. I'm getting the Anabon. Inabon sounds like something you write on in Europe, where you go really fast. That's part of this, Annabon. The Inabon lady. Here you go. Oh, the racist lady. I have not seen this at all.

Ben, is she a millionaire yet? Can I donate? We'll see her go fund me. Can I send money? Yeah. Imagine on Ocean's 11, but the big heises, you just scream the N-word at somebody recording. It's like a little less conversation That is literally our economy now

Yeah As like just hope hopefully like You know you get on camera Call in the Somali's the N word Yeah guy comes into your work He's like I quit My wife just called a Ethiopian guy A porch monkey

We looks like we hit the lottery boys We're in the money We're in the money In words from heaven to me Hot damn Hi, damn, my wife's been called everybody back. Ah, well, Cleetus, he killed an end last night, and we are getting a lot of donations. He goes too far.

They're going to Cleetus, that's bad. You might spend some time in prison. No, you, you're just a rich. He goes, goddamn, who gives you shit? I'm rich, damn it? I'm rich. Texas T. He's like playing spoons with his feet.

He shot me. He went into the house and blues. Blew the top of the hat off. He goes, I'm rich. Yeah. Matt Walsh is going to be sending me some money. Yeah, this starts playing a banjo song called Gonna Fuck My Mama twice.

Yeah, it's like the Beverly Hillbillies. You-ha. Elijah Schaefer has already shut up to go. fund me for me I really don't like that chud guy who's the chud the builder guy who he calls black people the end word in public

and then flashes his gun he flashes his gun he'll set up a go fun he'll probably end up being he'll he'll probably be arrested in some point or get black justice he'll go too far I think yeah it's one day he'll go too far he'll go too far these guys love to be perpetual victims but then they're constantly whining

and crying on X about how like they can't go he'll go too far he'll kill a black kid at Walmart but then he'll be living in prison like it's good fellas he'll be he'll be getting like like good wine and like he'll be he'll be having a ball just slicing little pieces of cheese very thin yes yeah they're giant cry baby that's my biggest problem with them is they're just like reddit cry babies yeah he's he tweets at people talking about how his mustache wax he's like let me tell you about my you do use the like terminology like chud right and that type of stuff that's what he uses that's his name she's a reddit fag yeah exactly

You're just a racist, Reddit fad. You're the same. Well, he thinks he's really funny just because he, like, says the N-word at black people or something. He thinks it's, like, Christian and, like, hilarious or something. Yeah. It's not only funny, it's very Christian as well. Go to the Bronx and do that.

Go to Chicago. Bugging, flashing his gun at black people that he's calling, he's saying they're chipping out, and then he flashes his gun right in. He flashes a gun, and then the guy that looks like Snoop Dog flashes his bazooka in his pants. It's like, dude, if you want to do that, that's fine. It's like, don't then be like, Why is everyone so mad at me? Why is the, I need to go fund me now.

I don't feel safe. Why is my, is my content I filmed on purpose going exactly how I planned it? You filmed it. That's crazy. You filmed it to get this reaction. Yes, literally. And then you're like, what? No, I didn't.

I was just, before the internet, I was calling black people champs in the park. I did this way before the pendulum swung to the other direction. Didn't he have like a response or something where he's like, I'm not even stop. regarding anything. I'm just recording what's happening. It's like your entire channel is this. Of course, these things just happen to this. It's just every day. Every day he goes out.

I just, what I do is I drive around the blackest neighborhood that's ever existed. I drive into a black hole in the inner city and I'm just surprised these things happen. Where does he live? What state does he live in? Do we know? Is it like the south? I don't know. Is it like... I think it's outside Tennessee. He has some sort of

like engineering. He probably drives into Jacksonville. He does some electrical shit, like, uh, or something. He sets up electric chairs. Yeah. He's an electrician for electric chairs. He's like, me, he's like, reverse races and killed my profession. Now, you see, this guy didn't die because the left arm that that wasn't on.

You gotta turn that one on. Yeah, my granddaddy killed John Coffey. But I don't really watch the videos because it did, uh, it just makes me too. Makes me sad. What is this one about? Just gay, cry babies. Oh, this woman's going to be a billionaire. She's huge, right?

She's huge. And then her net worth is going to be more than the video soon. I've seen people tweeting about this and they go, you guys didn't even see the full video. The lady was in the right. And then people are like, where's the full video? And the guys just like, delete his account. They're like, oh, you did see it.

Okay. I am racist. Is this an actual sinabon location or it's like an indie mom and pop sinabon place? It's a sinabon. I think it's an actual location. This lady works. for Cinnabon.

Yes. Well, she should kill herself for being white and working at a Cinnabon in the mall at this age. You're a huge loser. Everything, you know, all of the one step ahead that you've had, you've completely failed. You've ruined your whiteness. You're an embarrassment to white people. If you're a white, if you're a middle-aged white woman working at Cinebun and you're racist, you suck shit. I kind of realize a lot of these.

Become a hedge fund manager and then start slinging hands. Exactly. You're allowed to prove it. You've got to prove it first. Prove it. Exactly. Exactly. Prove where the superior is. You yell the end from an ivory tower.

Not from cinema. Not from a moose. Not from, yeah, exactly. Just like the end of another face in the crowd. Yeah. When Andy Griffith, you know, walks out at the top of the... Yeah. Top of the penthouse.

Another inn in the crowd. And it's his face just smiling on the cover, but he's just shouting it. I haven't seen the movie. I only know the kid rules. Andy Griffiths at the Apollo. This, what I like about this lady, is she looks into the camera she's like make no mistake

I'm wildly racist that's what I think I do not she does not want nuance I think it's a I think we're right ambiguity whatsoever she goes you're filming you're gonna upload this to Twitter right

okay I'm racist I'm racist my name is Ann Ann and I'm in I'm in Bay Michigan and I fuck blacks oh not I fuck them but fuck them fuck them I would never

fuck them you know what I realize about a lot of these women why they have these jobs they're single mothers typically that are not single mothers excuse me they are single mothers now but they actually for 10 years they raise the kids and stay home while the husband works and then the husband goes i'm not attracted to anymore like or i'm cheating on you or whatever and then they just kick the lady out and she doesn't she doesn't have any money and then so she's

like well i have no job history and this is her first time because i've been using your credit card so it's a 48 year old woman who's now like a 17 year old out of high with like a 12 year old and a 15 year Yeah, who has been filled by society, but she's also so retarded. She's like, I can't believe black people ruined my life. Yeah. I am racist. So idiot, for real. And you are an idiot.

No, I'm not. To the whole entire world. Sexualizing your body makes you a better person. Are you recording? I'm going to record you. Yes. Do you want me to draw water on you? I am racist.

I am racist. I love him this is filmed like one of those bad, uh, Instagram sketches, the P-O-V things. It's just a bunch of takes over and over again. I got to bleep that in. There's jump cuts and her being racist. They're cutting out the fat. Yeah, P-O-V, you're at the racist Cinnabon.

I am a racist. And I'll say that to the whole entire world. Don't be disrespected. You ruin your life, by the way. I'm racist. Don't be disrespectful. To the whole world. Don't be disrespectful.

Did you say don't be disrespectful to the whole world? Am I making that up? I think she's saying like it's... I'm talking to the whole world. Oh. It's like a religion for her. Like, yes, I identify as racist. Please be respectful.

Yeah, she's like Mormon. She's like, I hate to bother you, but have you thought about blacks? They are kind of trans. Being racist? They're like, they're like, you should... You call me by my preferred pronouns, which is fuck ends. Yeah, they threw the first slur, uh, slur at Stonewall. That's Stonewall Jackson.

You are fired from this place, motherfucker. You're not gonna be walking here. Motherfucker. Suck it. Suck why? Look how you fucking look like. What's wrong with you? She ruled.

Can I say she kicks out? It's a lady that is she's actually, she's pretty angry. She did think her husband would murder suicide, like kill her and the kids, and she would be, like, released from this hell. Yes. But instead he just divorced her. And now she's working at Cinnibon called Somali's the end. Yeah. A guy who looks like a big wallipop.

Yeah. What the fuck is her out of you? You fucking ugly bitch. Egy! Talking about ugliness? Did I stand stutter? You talk about. You did. You literally stuttered right there.

The Nigerians are getting their ass beat right now, I hate to say. Yeah, the Nigerians are not coming correct here. They, they, I wish they were a little quicker. This person I ever seen in my life. No, we're not. No we're not. No we're not. No we not. Because you know damn well. You're fucking evil. That's respect. Keep, keep squeezing that caramel, bitch. Get the fuck out of it. She showed her ass.

I did see they fired her. Oh, okay. Well, they did. They did. For what? What'd she do? She said fucking ends, Devin. We don't stand for that type of language at Cinebon. They're like, we are racist.

That's why there's so many ins in our name. But we will not stand for cursing. That's a way to quit your job, though. Call somebody in the end. Yeah, just say in. Yeah. Look at the camera, say in. Your boss knows.

Take a bow. The end is. like crazy but it's like more funny to just be like yeah i am racist that's like funnier and a weird way leaning into the camera yeah yeah it's a good bit but yeah she will be she will own sinnebun in two weeks she will be yeah the scrooge mcdutch she's said she said look at the comments i bet if people are already like like donated donate well yeah oh yes here's her thing yeah they're already at her she already has 43 thousand dollars the goal is a hundred that's literally um but we're on we that's amazing that's actually true

all the jokes we make. She's already at 42,000. Yeah, it's what you do, man. It's just a griff. Just say in, make a go-fummi. Meet Crystal, hardworking white mom, doing her job at Cinebondon. Two Somali customers decided to make her shift, hell. Yeah, does she explain what they were doing at all?

Yeah, what, there's no context to, like, what happened. I can go to her go-fummi real quick. Yeah, what does the go-fummi say? Stand with Crystal. Here it is. I mean, look at it. That's sweet. she is. Oh, she's only raised two grand

according to this one. Oh, okay. Wait, really? I thought it was at 40. It might have just been Photoshop. Yeah. The Citibon worker in Wisconsin was filmed after getting harassed by a Somali couple. Oh, this is a... Is this fake? This looks like someone who's just trying to. Oh, somebody started a different one probably.

Support for my cousin, heal from 2000 out of 45. So now people pretend to be the racist to get money. This is how beautiful... And they're probably Somali. It's a Somalayan scammer. This is how beautiful this country is there Indians racing to their computers

every time there's a new N-word set into a camera. We are like, Kevin, our whole country is like a racist whale fall. It's all, a big inward falls to the ocean floor and tramps and crabs start running to it. Racist scams. Everyone's a grifter. It's unbelievable.

So have you, can we find this bitch's fucking real thing? Look, you saw on Twitter when they, when they came up with the country of origin thing in every single grifter they're all in India they're all India like every country where

if you make $800 from Twitter you're the richest man whoever lived yeah yeah it makes sense actually but I mean I'm finding some reports that she's made over $49,000 yeah yeah it's real we just

those were fake ones we just can't yeah those were fake ones where they a couple guys and probably paid SEO money to get boosted to the top yes yeah

a couple Somalians made like three grand off of whatever yeah Somalians probably went in there to get called the N-word and be really annoying. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, look it up on GoFundMe. Of course. Type in the real crystal raises N-word lady.

At the real crystal N-word. I want to show everybody how many there are. Look at how many there are. That's unbelievable. There's already eight. Mitchell-Abarra made two grand off this. Scroll up from that cat. That cat makes me sad. Get back to the lady screaming inward. Keep going down, Ben. We've got to find her real one.

Of course. That cat said the N-word of Cinebantau. There's a lot of cats named Cinnabon. Yeah. Well, those are... Yeah, well, they're all dead now. Those are retards with zero imagination. All dead now, apparently.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where she is. Could be any of them. Who knows? The world is fake. When you publish a book now on Amazon, there's like 50 copycat AI text things that just sell for a fraction of the price. So people accidentally click on it and buy it and buy it.

Yeah, because people know they buy the bug and they go, I bought it. And then they put it down. And then they go, I read that. Yeah, that's a good point. they just put it on their shelf and never open it. Yeah, they don't know if they open it. It'll just be an Indian guy giving him the finger from a big call center. They'll give it to, like, their child will find it when they die,

and they're like, why did all these books of Indian guys flipping him off? Got with a big eyebrow. Did he come to this? Did that come to Indian guys being mad at him? I can't believe we actually can't find the real. There's too many. There's too many to find it. And there's, I mean, crystals.

Like, that's the ultimate white lady yelling the emerald. There's a million crystals. Truly. If you're named Crystal, you get a job at Sinebun automatically. Yeah. Is there, have they created a GoFumme for the racist tirades? Because GoFumme will remove a lot of them. I know that's a problem. Because GoFummi's woke.

Oh, really? Yeah. None of these articles are linking it. I don't know. Do you remember that lady, this was like during Me Too Shit. It was like a black chick who was like saying that she hated black people and then she started GoFumme. Like she stood up to the BLM people at her college

And she started to go foamy And she made like 80 grand And then it was just like I lied for the money Thank you for all the money It paid for my college, yeah Whoa I forget her name but that was like a That was like a famous one

That also might be fake and just fed to me Based on my algorithm that I'm getting So who knows Let me show you how down White people are down bad right now Yeah I'm about to show you How down white people are right now

We took the L I have found black people that have done this, but this is kind of a white thing right here. What's that? Lady, work. Oh, no. Oh, she has a doll, baby. We saw, remember those fat idiots that went to Disneyland with the fake kid?

Yeah, I watched on Patreon. Yeah. She's walking in and picking. Oh, my God. It's weird that this is my life, but the child is living. Oh, my God. Good morning, sweet baby She's got two

Is her husband also a doll? No, no, that's her third doll baby She just saw that leftover's up And she's like, that's a great idea Yeah, why she did is her pussy just dead Some women do cope By with being infertile by doing this for sure Which is already crazy

But to have four doll children In varying ages is a little selfish, I think That's even, that's like you're pig. You know, you don't have one doll kid yet's four. It's gluttonous. Hey, morning. Um, what are we doing today? Putting together the storage rack

and organizing all the hair accessories. She spent thousands of dollars raising these doll children. She's drowning the doll. She's still angry. She drowns it outside of the pond up back. Putting in a hot car. Putting it in the car. Leaving it in the hot car. Yeah, screaming, did you smoke weed with your friends?

Slamming its head in the door. Yeah, you do hereditary to your daughter. Stick your head out the window and drive really fast down a country road. You only do you go like 10 miles an hour, I'll just pop right on. I guess it would, probably. Big dollhead. Do you think she fucks him? Probably.

The dolls? Yeah, it's just not in the video. God knows what she's doing if those dolls when she's not making a little key. Honestly, it's weirder if she doesn't. Yeah. You actually are. It's weirder if she just like talk has to talk with them. There's some respectability about fucking the dolls. She better, she better just be...

It's like when you see a dog humping a pillow, you're like, well, that's what he's supposed to do. You better be honest about it. When I see a lonely sad guy looks like Steve Buscemi fucking a doll on the internet, I'm like, well, you know, it's good for him.

At least friction is real. He's getting the juice out somehow. Yeah. Good for him. Exactly. Yeah. So that's drinking. Callagie!

Tell you, my shot! So now one of her dolls is waving up the other doll child. My dog. Mommy? Mommy, Mama, I want a bottle. Make me bottle, mommy. Why are your dolls so shrill? Why do you need a bottle?

Jesus. Making formula in a bottle for her fake doll, baby. Formula. I know I need a baby, mommy, mommy. You got me all your favorite baby. Do you do, dear. Especially in everything I want for Christmas. Get done.

I just want to be a baby. We kind of need a judge dread, where if they see this on one, line, they drive to her house and just take her out of her misery. You know what I mean? No, I know. Truly, there actually should be like a system. Where they go, citizen, you're really fucking retarded. There should be a system in place. Yeah. Yeah, there should

I think a Waymo should kill her. A Waymo should show to her house. A waymo? A waymo. And it should get on, it should get on its hind wheels and it kind of walks in and blows her head off. It turns into a transformer where it kind of walks it. Megatron, you're really fucking

retarded. Pathetic. Yeah, it's like a wayma that they've hooked up to the breaking bad car. Just a big machine gun goes through your house. Yeah, no, she shouldn't live. This is, red pink, cold. Oh, I want some of this money. I mean, this is literally, if you watch the leftovers, it's one of the saddest episodes

I've ever seen is them torturing her with the fake doll family. Yeah. And this woman is doing it of her own volition. This is crazy. I was drunk when we started this episode. But I'm sober now because of this. We need more. I was about to dooredash some booze.

This is getting intense. This is like, I just, do you think she, like, think she's infertile cause of blacks? What if the video ends? She's like, and it's all because. You know what would be funny? A black guy fucked me too hard and broke my eggs. You know what would rule is if, like, another COVID happened,

and then you guys, like, we weren't allowed to leave our homes. We were on lockdown. And so I started ordering black mannequins and putting them around my house. And I'm, like, filming myself. I'm like, look, they chimpin out. But you're doing it to save your family. Because I'm, like, I'm, like, we have to get the, like, I have a Mexican guy. The guy that's...

I have a Mexican mannequin that's making hot dogs in my kitchen, and I'm calling ice on him. The guy that's... He was known for being racist, and he's now losing... He doesn't have that anymore. His children are immunosuppressed, but he's still got to make money. I'm just flashing my gun at a black mannequin, like when I'm done, brushing my teeth. Yeah, like taxi driver. You go, you axkin to me.

A man that has to live out his oppression. Even during a lockdown. Oh, really? Did, you didn't do nothing? To a mannequin. To a mannequin. Yeah. By renting that fake airplane, people film sketches in so he can do an elbow check on a mannequin.

Starting a go-fund maybe because your mannequin, you know, harassed you. Yeah, your black mannequin fucked your wife. I mean, this is, this is making me, you know, grateful for my life because, you know, some people are like, they want the simulator of what I have of the kids and stuff and how fulfilling it is. And it gives you your entire day purpose. And every second they must be, you know, taking care of and watched after and listen to. I mean, does that lady have a husband, do you think? Do you think there's a man in that woman's on? Honestly, some guy might be down really bad and he fucks her.

Probably. He might fuck her. He might just, you know, he's like, just keep it to the east away. of the house I don't even want to hear it he puts in AirPods works from home I know you'd have to have a

a fucking Herculean will to still get hard in that lady I don't know man if she just The doll lady If she just shows whole If she If she's a for use

Or free use woman You know what free use is Devon No Free use is just you're allowed to fuck them At any given moment They're a doll They have to submit

They have to submit There's women out there there that they say they're free use they come like that yeah you walk up to them and you just start fucking you have like if you want to fuck they just have to start fucking you no matter what's going like they're doing the dishes or laundry or something you just walk up and you pull their pants right beating the shit out of their pussy what website do you buy them on I think it's a pretty common woman fantasy to just be like yeah women like to be objects sexually they like to get abused women like it yeah thrown around really they all like it apparently okay every single

listen if you're listening at home every single woman likes it and you can just assume but this woman here i mean where was the image of her yeah so if but if you're allowed to do whatever you want to her and she can't say no that's some guys would sign off on that i think yeah yeah sure i just i don't know i feel like you could get hard but then you'd like be like 10 pumps and you'd be like that the whole thing is really fucked up and you're like struggling to keep a bow and her. You're crying. Yeah, you're just like, you're like fucking at 70%.

You're like, I can't stop thinking about the fucking dolls, man. Stop. But you just think about it more. Yeah. Red, pink, gold. Oh, I want some of that. Oh, I was poor fucking psychopath.

I want to help you put together a cart smearty. She's poisoning her doll children still. Oh, I would love to help. Yeah. More bottles. More bottles of formula that she probably drinks yourself. Yep. It's very expensive, too.

You could donate that, too. She spent a lot of money on cribs for nothing. Again, children do need these things, you know. Also, why the fuck do they make these dolls, by the way? Who the fuck is buying these? I just thought of that. It's too dark, but apparently Amazon makes them. Are you fucking kidding me?

People are really mad at Amazon. Like, why do you have these things? They make kid dolls anybody can buy. Any fucking person to buy. It really mums me out. What a sick world do we live? I learned it this week, and I was not going to bring it up. up or tell anyone.

It organically came up on the show as it always does. Of course. It's on Amazon, huh? It's literally on Amazon. How much is it? On Amazon. Go ahead, Devin, look it up.

They're on Amazon? Can you look at the kid doll on Amazon, Devin? Are you sure? Okay, hold on. Well, Devin's actually telling the FedEx and not deliver the baby. Let me put in a couple orders. Buy one get two.

My pit bull needs breakfast. screaming, you better come in here. I can't believe this like this. All right, I'll be right there, Adelia. How infertile do you have to be to be this tragic? Is this bitch, is this lady's pussy just like an incinerator?

Like when you come, just fire come out and just burn it alive. Her eggs look like a daffodil. You can blow it away. It'll just float away when you blow it. Oh, you. Fuck her. You sad bitch.

Fuck you. And you don't have good tities are an ass. Which I would not say But I hate you so much I will do it now For no reason Yeah, it is Yeah, they're not arguing

They don't speak You're making those noises You psychopath Yeah, you're talking for her You kind of hope these dolls I'll come alive and kill her one night That little baby's so cute What is that? Like a little Charlie Kirk

Oh sweet girl The baby doll That sucks That was a cute baby But it wasn't real I really don't like Knowing the doll thing on Amazon I don't like knowing it either

Move pretty human too That broke through a new door Of where we're at Socially to me There's a big viral thing on X So have people signing petitions To try to get Amazon To take them off

Yeah they should Yeah that's insane There's a thousand reasons I'm not gonna make you edit it out It's like pedophile dog bones Yeah I don't want to make you add anything out But there's like a thousand reasons a day

For somebody to pick up something And start doing something to some people in this society It's crazy It doesn't happen more often We live in it Sure sure sure It's unbelievable the time The time period that we are living

You can mail order a plastic child Of the number one business in America Yeah Is your watch glowing in the dark You got a new watch? Yeah, I got a new watch. Okay. There was a...

How many watches do you have now since you started buying them? I have 10 watches. Really? You bought 10 in a month? I bought 10 in a month, yeah. No, two months, two months. You're buying one... You're buying 1.2 watches a week at this rate.

I bought this... It's very good math. I bought this at a liquidation sale. So I got it for very... What's at me? Take me through that. There's a guy. I met him today.

his father died who ran a jewelry store and he's you met up with a guy to buy a watch no he runs a jewelry store so you went to a jewelry store to buy a watch to buy watch because he posted online they do that yeah interesting yeah so i bought it it it was like this is listed for 3 like 20 i bought it for like 130 really yeah you're getting great deals on these things that's the thing that's the thing is i do buy great deals like devon has a friend i was telling devon devon devon is a friend who's bought one watch but it's three thousand dollars I bought 10 watches I've spent under 2 grand, under 2 grand on 10 watches. I'm buying cheap Chinese shit and I'm just like trying shit out. I'm going to sell some of it, but yeah. I'm listening to a lot of Professor G.E. Pod, Scott Galloway and Aswath and all those guys. And a lot of the guys are saying the recession, there's nowhere you can hide in the market with the recession that's coming up, whether it's going to be over the course of two years or one big drop in a few weeks. A lot of people are just putting their money in collectibles.

Yeah. Is Scott Galloway, that bald guy that's on like, like, Bill Maher talks about, like, men? With the glasses? Yeah. I didn't know he was on Bill Maher. I just found his podcast. Is he the guy that's like men go out, have a drink, talk to women, that guy? I don't know.

I don't know what you're up to. He just talks about, like, stocks. Don't talk about his watches like that. No, no, okay. Sorry. I thought, I think, uh, no. I can tell you that me and John. He does economy stuff?

Yeah. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I did three days of economy shit and I'm like, I got to figure it out. Ben's obsessed with the economy. I'm an international ETS right now. You texted me the other night, so I got to get an international. Which I think you're right. Because I'm trying to set it up where my kids aren't like.

It is. I'm like, I got to make my kids millionaires by the time they're 20. Scott Callow is this guy who I'm thinking of. Yeah. This guy's like on Bill Maher all the time. Yeah. Does he, does he suck ass on Bill Maher? He's a little cheesy. I like him, though. I kind of like him.

I like him. I kind of. think he kicks out. He said young people need to get out and drink and fucking fuck. I'm like, hell yeah. He's had no idea what he does. I just see clips of him every once in a while being just like, guys got a fuck. Yeah. I'm like, that's good. He's basically just like

young men are pathetic now. But he's not doing it in an alpha way. He's like, just go out and fucking get drunken fingerbing somebody. Scott Galahoe is very lib. He's a huge lib. But not in a gay way. I think I'm lib. You lib? I think I'm lib. Wow. Shag.

Turn this fucking light on you. it only goes on me fuck i mean if like look we don't vote and we don't know anything but are we lib i guess we're lib right yeah i guess so old school i'm a i'm a southern dog democrat which means i'm a democrat but i hate black people southern dog i'm a i'm an old dog democrat yeah i mean we're lib comparatively i mean compared to like what's out there now i don't know Yeah, I mean, dude, you should, I thought about, I'm like, should I just start buying, like, vintage guitars that go up in value or vintage, uh, maybe. Vintage stuff. I mean, you're buying the watches. That might be where your money's safe. Listen, John, I text John every night. John's my new best friend, because we talk about watches. That's what John told me.

We talk about watches every night. And then, and then when we're done, we say we should both be beat to death with hammers. Because we have this weird sickness. I don't understand. I do like that one, okay? Can I take a look at it? It's nice. Yeah. It's a citizen. Oh, that's actually nice. Give it a spin. You have good taste. Thank you. Give it a spin.

Read the time. It's a citizen diver, which is some of the best value you can get in the watch world. So what's this rotating thing? Bezle's got some nice action on it. The bezel. That's how you can keep track of time with the bezel. The click's fun, right? The bezel.

Yeah, I, uh, this is beautiful, Jace. I love that he's getting into these things. It's fantastic. I feel a shame about it like when I was first masturbating, but I've decided to embrace it. I think these are great investments. Jay's got here early. for a reason. So I could go to the watch liquidation sale.

And it was very funny. I was looking through the watches. And this guy was like, I was like, so how are you liquidating these four? He's like, oh, my dad on the shop, he died a couple months ago. And I had to be like, oh, it's a terrible wall. I'm still like looking at every, like, watch. I'm like, oh, that's terrible. So this is 200 meters, right?

Water resistant? People are doing crazy things right now to, because the dollar is worth like half since it was from like 2012, you know? Yeah. And people were really worried about inflation, obviously. and everything. Some people are buying not collectibles, but some people are buying nickels. And every dollar

they have, they're getting as many nickels as possible because of the amount of tongue, like whatever the fuck is in nickels. Silver? I think there's copper in it and other stuff. And the silver and whatever it is. If you put your money in like Rolexes, like that would retain value and shit like that. But a nickel's worth, like whatever's in nickels

is worth more than what the nickel's worth. So you're buying a thing that's going to increase The worst thing you could have right now is dollars. Buy milk. It would be better than dollars right now. The genius of the nickel thing, though, is that you technically are parking your money in cash. You're taking out of the market.

You're buying nickels. So even if the value of the steel goes down, it's still technically worth five cents. It's kind of a genius thing. People are buying like a quarter million dollars worth of nickels and just putting them in a big public storage unit. It's also funny. Our economy's in such a bad stay, you see some guy on YouTube be like, onions, put it all in onions.

They're going to, what's the economy takes? Everybody's eating in a 90-sup, it's going to skyrocket, right to the moon. So we've been, we've had such a great market for 16 years. When we start to lag behind a little bit, the international world does better. So I found this great international ETF. I've been reading Morning Star. Right. I'm parking it all in there.

You are reading, you pay for Morning Star and you read it. I do. Every day. It's my, my ask Grandpa for advice about socks and stuff because he's very good at that. And he said, he goes, download Morning Star. There's a lot of good stuff on there and good luck. He gave me, yeah, I thought he was going to do a whole Warren Buffett thing. No, I don't know.

He sits me down, he's drinking a cherry coke, and he's like, here's what you do. He's like, you got to fuck a bunch of kids in a basement in Omaha. What? Warren Buffett. It's Warren Buffett. No, I'm making a Warren Buffett judge. That would be funny. A press conference with Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett, and they're like, if you're going to make a diet, you got to fuck it.

Oh, yeah. They've both like gone Alzheimer's. He's like, it's also saying you know who Charlie Munger is. You've been watching so much financial shit. Well, he's the guy at Berkshire Hathaway. Yeah, the guy with Warren Buffett. Yeah, did Charlie Morgan? He's the guy he looks like a pet turtle.

He died, he died, but they would give... He was like 150 years old. They would give, they would give shareholders meetings. And he'd be Warren Buffett being like, we think, we think, um, we think, um, uh, da, phant is good. And he goes, what do you think Charlie and try to go? I'd name God, I like, and he looked like a, he looked like an old chafed penis in a suit, Charlie Munger. Those guys are peedy as fuck. All they do is, like, eat, I, they eat, um, they eat, they eat, um, they eat,

root beer floats. Warren Buffett's favorite thing is root beer floats. And he drinks six coques a day. I do wonder how much. He's 94, and he just stepped down from Berkshire Hathaway. Do you think at all that you're getting fooled the way Tarantino's filming, fooling film Twitter people? Absolutely. The Warmbud is going to the price.

He's like, I eat a McDonald's Hesbant every morning. Dick Van Dyke, a big bowl of ice cream and chocolate syrup every night. Well, he's going to hell. That's why he doesn't want to die. No, he's doing great. He just turned 100, right? Dick Van Dyke. Oh, yeah.

All those guys are doing well. The thing I really love about Warren Buffett, actually, he's leaving not a dime to his children. He told him, he's like, you're getting none of this. He goes, I'm actually taking money from you. I'm suing you for being my children. I think he's worth like $400 billion. Yeah.

And all of it is going to charity, not a dime to his three kids. He claims he loves so much. By the way, he gave, like, 60 billion to Bill Gates. You got Bill Gates a check and he said you're like my second. Fuck those guys that act like. It's like because the kid still is going to it's still, you're still Warren Buffett's

kid so he always has that. Yeah. You might as well leave the money. You might as well. Leave them so much. Yeah. It's also, I hate the thing when all those guys go like, the second I die, every penny goes to charity and they go, not until I die though. Not until I can't use it.

The minute I die, I get to go to heaven by giving up all the money. I never gave up in my life. I'm a great guy. It's like you get the credit for being the great guy without doing a single fucking thing. In your actual life. Go off. Give it away now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eat the rich.

Hassan did nothing wrong. Free Luigi. His dog was a Republican. Free Luigi. I love Dubai. My favorite thing about Warren Buffett is he has that like Coca-Cola throat where he's drank so much soda he sounds like a retard he sounds like a big fraud

because his vocal cords don't exist anymore he's drinking so much coke he's got two vocal chords like a cow stomach because of all the citric acid yeah he can do like Mongolian singing yeah where it's a mouth and throat singing yeah the double where you can do two pitches at once that's stuff

I love those old guys every interview he's just downing C's candies eating a bunch of fudge drinking a Coca-Cola smart as hell he's like he's like bomb libby yeah where's my where's my candy that sucks where's my candy from 1920 that sucks so when I work out at the gym yeah I look out the window the whole time on my old man grandpa bike sure as Devin claims I do sponge bob workouts in the gym so while I'm doing my sponge bob workouts because I have an autoimmune disorder I look out the window of the second floor of this 24 hour fitness and across the street is

an office depot, which is where I bought the whiteboard for my, for my stream. And across from that, right next to the office depot is a seize candy. Okay. Which Warren Buffett has, it's like all of his stock is in fudge, pretty much. Yeah. Because he just, he loves candy so much. It's a big Midwestern retard. Is that intelligent though? Because you're like, well, people will always love chocolate. Yeah. It's a good point. There will always be faith in chocolate. He's like the best investor ever. Yeah. So my thinking is that I think I have to start checking out these companies before I invest in them. So I'm like, I think I should be, like every day I should be in C's candy, you know, interviewing employees, making sure the store is clean. Because you don't want to

just invest in a company if you've never been a customer. Right. You're knuckle steep and fudge. And they're like, what are you here for you? Like, I'm a investor. I'm looking to, I'm looking somewhere to put $500. I'm looking to purchase value. you in your company now. Are you out of the fudgy pops or? I'm looking for fudgy pop. I'm an investor. Do you have a type of chocolate drink I could wash all this fudge down with?

I would like to own a piece of your company. I'm a big shot. Get me the fudge drink. Melt a bunch of chocolate in a microwave. That's maybe the best thing about like deep value investor guys who are like 15% I have $4,000. Yeah. 15% of my portfolio is in this company because I,

believe in the future of it, and I own a piece of it. Yeah. You're like, so you have, you have 30 shares at $50 of stock, and you're at, you're walking around acting every day, like, you own a piece of the company? Dude, if you walked into the headquarters of that company, you get shot in that. They'd be like, who the fuck are you? They would kill you, actually. If you stepped foot.

If you stepped foot. Even if you looked at the building, they'd shoot you with a rifle. Go walk into the Coca-Cola headquarters and say you own it. A polar bear. rip your head off. It'd send out that polar bear and kill you. Yeah, I own this. Yeah, Warren Buffett would ride that polar bear out and shoot you.

A factory where 8,000 people are working around the clock. 8,000 slaves are bottling coat. Chinese babies bottling candies. And you go, I'm kind of like the owner. I basically own one of you. I'm an owner. Did ever tell you the guy I worked with? I don't think I've mentioned this, the Demerats guy.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. At my last job before we started the podcast. He kicks ass. He kicks ass, but I don't think I ever said this. He put all of his retirement. I swear to God, Apple and Coke. He put all of his retirement into two stocks. So, Apple's doing great.

Anytime the stock market, anytime the stock market went down, he would, first thing in the morning, he would walk in and he would check the stocks. And he would, like, literally go like, I just lost $400,000. I'm fucked. I'm fucked for the rest of my life. And every month, he would do that just over and over and over again. It's just what happens. You just hold, man.

He was just a miserable fag and while doing that. Well, then don't have two things in your portfolio. It got so old. Like, have a broad. It got so old that one time you spot and he goes, she's like, well, they fuck me. I'm down 400K. That's my life savings. And then I was so, like, done.

I was just like, I was like, it goes up like the next day, right? He's like, he's like, he's like, what? What? Somebody calling me on my faggy bullshit? And I go, yeah, it's going to go up the next day. He's like, he's like, what do you talk about? I was like, well, every month, you're like, you lost, you're like, I lost $400,000. So it had to go back up for you to lose it.

He's like, well, you don't know that. You don't know that it's going to go back up. I'm like, all right, enjoy your hysteria because you're bored. He's like, what if Coke's going out of business? The woke is shutting down. The woke is shutting Coke down. That rules. They change Coca-Cola to Woka Cola.

And no one has an iPhone anymore. Apple's over. People don't drink soda anymore. It's soda and iPhones are done. It just ruled to be to just be a guy, every morning you check the computer, you go, I'm ruined. That's because he's the way he does that. He wants to... Yes. He was a guy who just loved.

Everything sucked and my life is falling apart. He also came in one day. He's like, my son just trying to kill himself. And I was like, that's crazy. I walked out of the room. He goes, and Coke is down. Yeah. Dude, there was like a straight a month where he's like, well, I don't know what I'm going to do about my son.

He keeps saying, tell him he's going to kill himself. If he keeps making him play baseball all the goddamn time. Jesus Christ. And I was just, I would just be like, I'm not talking about this or whatever. Oh, my God. Do you know what has ruled, have you, I signed it for Michael Bury's substack? to be a short guy Michael blueberry he kicks ass yeah autistic man he actually rules I've been I've also been like I've been listening to a lot of hum what is hum hum fucking rules what is

a band okay and I'll listen to like like this stuff is way harder but I'll listen to like mastodon and shit okay blood and thunder that's fun and like but I'm just going to sprouts to get goat milk yeah and I like in my head I'm like I'm a deep value investor I'm shorting the market right You're pushing your daughter You're Michael Berry Because I'm pretending I'm Michael Berry I'm at Sprout's Right

But I'm listening to I'm listening to Blood and Thunder By Massadon very loud In my headphones And people are scared of me Your wife is running up to you Like Tracy Letts in that movie And she's like why is all of our money

And seize candy You're like you don't understand You don't understand And I'm just I'm walking around the grocery store Like Anton Sugar When he's in the pharmacy But I'm just holding a giant thing Of goat's milk

Listening to Mastod Your daughter On the other hand And in my head, I'm a deep value. Are you looking right? You're like, look at these fucking bugs. They don't know the day of reckoning is coming. They don't know it's coming.

They don't even know to short Palantir. They don't even know. They don't know what Open AI is doing. They don't see the bubble, and that's why they call it a bubble. They haven't heard of the seven gold companies keeping the economy afloat. They have no idea. They haven't watched the YouTube channels I've watched. Fucking bugs.

So my favorite thing is I get recommended these videos of Charlie Munger The really, really old guy looks like a turtle Devin And you know sometimes you get recommended something You go, oh, this is what boomers are watching Yeah, right, right, right And you're blown away, I clicked on it to see like who's listening to Like, because if you were into Charlie Munger,

you've probably been into him since like 1973 So you're really old now, you barely know how to use a computer it's all AI of Charlie Munger and this channel releases a podcast every day it's two hours long of Charlie Munger giving advice about like what stocks to pick

Charlie Munger's been dead and they think he's still these are current videos it's no idea it's an AI podcast where he's like he's like you should send your money to Indian call centers that's the stock for you

it's people that they think Charlie Munger just had a recent video and also that a gorilla escape from the zoo is at the top of the Empire State building right now because they see it watching an AI video. He's got a printed lady up there. You guys see the tiger that played guitar at the zoo. I heard there's a bunch of cash doing Taekwondo in China.

These pods get like 30,000, 40,000 views. They're making bank. They're posting one a day. People are commenting, like, thank you for the wise words, Charlie Munger. Thank you, Charlie. Wisdom from one of the great kings of investing, Charlie. Also, did anyone see? Do you see the video of the monkey that stole the umbrella and flew to Paris?

Anyone see the video of the guy who turned into a pineapple when he bit into one and did a backflip in the ocean? Unbelievable. Will Smith's so bad at eating spaghetti. Yeah, people don't realize we have burger economy and we have Indian entertainment at this point. Why are any of us doing that? You could, I mean, that amount of views you're making $30 to, you're making $3 to $400 of video posting that every single day i mean we don't do because we we could also like fucking own a blood diamond mind in south africa fucking chop people's arms off and shit

yeah that would rule though if i could listen i would do that if i could listen to a podcast or something yeah if it's a no headphone environment i i couldn't do that you could be a rubber baron as long as you got jr there is a guy like the art of killing like if they ever do that again like in indonesia there will be a guy who's like bored of killing people and he'll be listening living party in his headphones it's uh he's signing up for the patreon because he's bored shooting people in the head it's reservoir dogs but he's dancing to the jaree intro joe rogan by day podcast by night mr blonde would be more of a kiltony guy i think yeah you're right he would be a kiltony guy you'd take his wife there because he hopes um david lucas fucks her

he'd be like a weird yeah lead you to skank swinger guy actually let's let's close the show right now by going through it. Mr. Orange would be the Jaree guy. I'm trying to remember who's Mr. Orange? Tim Roth. Tim Roth. Okay. Mr. Pink, Steve Bishimi, I think he would be like a war mode guy. No, Tim Roth would be like an anti-rogan guy. You think so?

Well, he's a cop. Tim Roth would be woke. Yeah, but he'd be like the woke one of the bunch. He'd be a woke cop. He'd be listening to Michael Barrow. He'd be like in Merrin. He'd be like in Mary. He'd be like Mary. No, this is a crazy fantasy.

Mr. Orange would be like he lives in. He's in Highland Park when he's running from the bank. He would be pretending to be like a Keltony guy. But he's like these fucking retards. Marin took him down recently. You see that? I'm sorry, I pushed back on it, but you're very right here. The black guy who's teaching him would be like,

you got to know every Rogan anecdote if you want to. And then Lawrence Tierney would be a king and the sting guy. He'd be like an R.U. Garbage guy. He'd be like mustard's garbage. You did a tip. That's garbage. That's garbage. Who didn't tip your garbage?

Because you were a fucking faggot. That's why. And then. Okay. Like, what about Chris Ben's character? Chris Ben Chris Penn Oh Chris Penn

Oh you thought I was saying Like Crispin Wah Chris Penn would watch YouTube reels He'd be like He'd be like He'd be like He'd be talking about like David Lucas

goes fishing But he doesn't He doesn't have the attention He doesn't have the attention span For episodes He only gets comedy Fun wheels that pop up Okay this is a hard one

Mr. White Rogan Old school Rogan Is that Kyle? Is that Cartel? Harvey Kitell He'd be Rogan Old school Rogan

You think so Yeah He'd be talking about Ice baths and shit. But he would also be like, I wish Rogan was a little less political. Or maybe Jocko, because he strikes me as a guy

who was in the military, maybe. Yeah, he might be a Jock guy. Madsen, who would Madsen be? Mr. Blonde. I think we settled he was a Kiltony guy probably. Yeah, he'd like the evil of it. Who's Mr. Brown, Tarantino? He's definitely listening to Lex Friedman.

Yes, that's perfect. By the way, Lex Freeman kill himself or something? Where has he been? Oh, he's disappeared? I haven't seen any. Lex Freeman News? Did he like get killed by like a Thai child on one of his, one of his passport bro trips? Did he write the worst suicide note of all time? Did he blow his head off after playing sunshine of your love on his guitar?

Lex Freeman would write a suicide note so bad that nobody would finish it. They'd stop on page two. Oh, Mr. Blue, I think, would listen to a, uh, uh, fucking. He would watch... Like a conspiracy shit. He was Mr. Blue's the guy with the ponytail with a smoke to cigar. He was the guy that actually got out of prison.

The old guy. Oh, oh. He would watch Carol Burnett show... He'd be a Phil Vaughn guy. No, no, no, no. I got this person. He would watch Carol Burnett show outtakes on Facebook as they pop up. He'd be like, nobody did it like Tim Conway.

People'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. I think we got all of them. Yeah. Do we get all of them? What do we say once? Yeah. Are you garbage?

He's listening. Are you garbage? When Chris Penn and Michael Madsen come in, he has to turn down H. Foley. Ranch with fries. You're a faggot. And that's garbage, buddy. He turns around. He's like, all right, I'm going to pause Ari Shafir for whatever nonsense this is.

They got Ariad again. Ari Shafir returns. Let me tell you what Story Wars is about. Just the camera going around the table. Yeah, yeah, that's all of them Do we name Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Blonde? That's all of them. Yeah, we got them all.

Yeah, we got them all, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because you fucking garbage, that's why. I can't believe you nailed it that Mr. Orange would be a WTF with Mark Merrin guy. He would be. No, Mr. White. Mr. White. Yeah, the Tim Roth character.

No, no, Mr. Orange. Whatever. Oh, Mr. Orange is Tim Roth. You're right, you're right. Sorry, sorry. It's like you guys have never seen the movie or something. I don't remember their names. How do you not remember it?

I haven't seen. in that movie in probably five years. I watched it a hundred times when I was 16 years old. Yeah. I love it. I just haven't watched it since then. But he would be. Tim Ross's like the woke cuck in that movie.

Yeah. He'd be listening to Michael Babaro. Yeah. Tim Roth would be like a big dollop fan. He'd be going to the live shows. He'd be on Reddit and being like, are we should we wear masks? Do they want us to wear masks? He's watching the doll.

Yeah. It would be Mr. White holding him. Mr. White's holding him at the end. He's like, I want to tell you, I mask up. What? I wear a mask everywhere I go. You're going to be okay. That rules.

Say the goddamn words. Black Lives Matter. You're going to be okay. Marin killed on the doll up this week, by the way. He was firing at everybody. I heard. I heard. You sent a club.

And he really caught Rogan with his pants down. which was very nice. Well, I think it was funny that Merritt had the ego to be like, yeah, did you notice that Rogan spoke up when I was done with my tour? It's like, Rogan doesn't know

you're done with your podcast tour. Why wouldn't we have any clue? Rogan thinks Jesus is a computer. No, he was doing it the week after the Obama app and it was all over, and he couldn't have a... I guess that's true. Right, but like, why would he know

that Maron's done doing podcasts or talking of shit? I mean, I don't know. I think it was fair. I think it was fair. But they're going, now it's getting a little gay. Is it? What's going on now?

A little bit. I like Marin eating cereal and talking shit about Austin. I loved it all, but it's getting a little... They're now getting a little cocky. I think it's like... There's one too many of these channels where it's like, you know, they're acting like... That all these guys are in the Third Reich. They're just retarded people that are making money off ads and promoted bullshit.

Mary gave a couple people too many... Too much juice? Yes. These are opportunists. They'll go wherever they're supposed to go. He created his own economy now, too, you know. Like American Reded. Like American Redact.

We all know. I like American Redick. I have, but he's also annoying. When it's actually like one of those, it's like, and you have single-handedly helped turn America into fascism? Is it right? It's a little gay. It's not that real. It's not that real.

Hey, maybe. We're exaggerating. Maybe. Maybe you're right. They're exaggerating because we hate their comedy so much and they suck so much ass. That's a good point. That's fair. I get that.

That's fair. But we don't want to become what we hate. I guess, but, you know, I read the interviews that Stavros does, and I'm like, yeah, he has a point. He has a pretty damn fine point, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know. I like Stav, but I mean, like, I don't think, I imagine he doesn't love being used as, like, the political tool. Yeah, the Rogan of the left or whatever the fuck that is.

Yeah, if you want to be a political tool, you're kind of like retarded. Also, these guys all are in, they, I mean, Stavv did Rogan. Like, what do you, what do we talk about? They'll all do everyone's show. It's not like that. Should we become a political show? No. Yeah.

I think we should actually. What should we choose, though? Because there's so many to choose from. We should become libertarian. We should get Dave Smith on right now. There's not really a big libertarian guy. Is there except Dave? Yeah, there's Dave, but that's it.

We should be, like, saying shit like Coca-Cola would take care of the roads. Yeah. We should be saying some really retarded shit. Yeah, the left is kind of over-saturated with media. Yeah. the right stuff is just boring the right wing stuff because you it's just so predictable so i guess libertarian kind of makes sense what's their do they have an animal libertarians got animals do they because there's a donkey and an elephant the pedophile their mascot is a guy

dating a 13 year old going like what is with these draconian laws Yeah, I mean, you got, you know, your driver's license, health insurance, can't fuck a kid, you know, you got to pay taxes. It's crazy. Yeah. I guess, but pre- Dave Smith, Stanhope was the guy. Yeah, he was a libertarian. Yeah, that's true. And I guess he still is a libertarian.

He's fucking falling down. Stanhope? Yeah, he's a libertarian, right? I love Doug Stanhope with all my heart. I hate seeing him on things now because he, it's like watching a man try to find a word. He's a little pickled. Yeah. And I say that with love and admiration. This is just what happens.

Truly. Happens after a life of having fun. He's drank too much. Yeah. Put the glass down. Patreon.com slash limit party. We got to get more booze. We got to go over to the Patreon right now.

If you're on Spotify, you can just scroll up and you can, you can purchase the Patreon that way. Exactly. We have them all right there. Mediterranean chicken on DoorDash. If you see the Patreon episode on Spotify, please, please pretend we released it for free and we're screwing you Yes, exactly

Please make a thing That's still happens Make a comment on Patreon and go You released both for free Fuck you What am I even paying for? You released both for free

And you made one Where I can't click on it It's got a big lock sign Fuck you What is this lock It must mean it's free bags Pagin.com's a Zimampi

Patreon.coms that's a lot We gotta get more booze than you Because we got to get that Patreon I want that Patreon up because Devin, I want you to be on Cloud 9 for Christmas in this house. I want you to be dancing

around, huh? Wouldn't that be lovely? If we got the Patreon over 40K a month and we just had Around Christmas time. Imagine Devin around Christmas time. He's with his pit bull upstairs. He's really drunk. He's dancing. And then he starts being a little too aggressive. It's a golden doodle. What's a golden doodle? She's a golden doodle pit.

Is your dog? Really? No, I just tell people she's a golden doodle. It's a bull to me. Yeah, it's like a drawing of a pit bull. Looks more like a great white shark. She's a close. She's like a corgi palm. She looks like ludicrous. She's the most pit bull I've ever seen.

And I take her to the IKEA ball pit for exercise. Her head's, her head shaped like a cyber truck. Getting a. She says she does, she looks like Caesar from Planet of the Apes. She's very tiny. I love people who get pit bulls. And if my dog kills you, you're a fad. You deserved it.

If it kills me. me, I'm a fact. Can I tell you, I walked in here before Devin, because I got here early. Let myself in, let the dog out. Sweet as hell. She's the most mild-mannered. It's like living with, like, deaf Marley Matlin, but buff. She's just this deaf.

Like, she doesn't make noises. She really doesn't. But maybe she will someday. Maybe she'll eat my face off in my sleep. Well, what I love about people get pit bulls, they're like, I have no plan of having children ever. That is kind of, I guess, what I did. It's sort of like when a smoker gets a carton of

cigarettes. I have no plan of quitting anytime soon. This whole thing, like I adopted like fucking, you know, what of Shug Nights dogs. It's, oh, well, she looks like Emma. No, no, for sure, for sure. She's a mix. She's not full. But like, if you ever had to get an apartment, no one is going to let you do that. Sure. Like, like, landlords are like absolutely not. Right. People get bit. There's tons of lot. Like, you, you're not going to be able to leave this house now. You're, you're like a house arrest, essentially. I guess. And you can ever have, you can never have kids. I don't just lie about the dog. You can't. You can't have kids now. Who tells people about their pet?

I looked up, like... No, landlords are like, is it a pit? Like, and I have to lie with Emma all the time and say she's basically a lab, but Emma's really a pit. Emma's a pit. Emma's a plight. She gets away with their three legs, though. She's got three legs.

She's got, you know, she's crippled. Yeah. What are you going to do? But she's a pit. Yeah. She's a pet. Yeah, no, Emma's like Snoop Dog in training day. She's like a pit in a wheelchair.

She's climbing mountains, dude, with three legs at the age of 15. That's insane. By the way, are you sure the grain-free diet is good? because I've been reading stuff online where they say the dogs will get fucking, like, heart problems with grain free. You've been doing grain free forever.

You've been doing grain free forever. Dignature, origin, that's the way to go. You've been doing grain free forever. No, go ahead. Give them, give them. I'm not fighting right here. Grind up wheat. Do whatever if you think a dog would eat wheat in a while.

I actually have a wonder, yeah, because everyone's like, no, you got to go by the WSAVA, like, guidelines that they need grain. I'm like, but when would they ever have gotten grain in the while? My dogs have no grain for 15 years in their. Or dogs making rice? for themselves.

Like, I don't get it. They need tortillas. It makes no sense. It would just be eating protein. It's such a fight of thing to be dismissive about the... It's like, no, no, fine. Go do whatever you want.

Yeah, you want a ton of health problems for your dog. You want to... They have hot spots and everything. Look, there's a lot of people online that say that they gave their dog grain free and then the dog got like heart problems. And I'm like, okay, I don't know.

I was basically a veterinarian when I worked at the dog food store. You were, yeah. People came in, they were at their wits end. Yeah. They were like, I don't know what I'm going to do. My dog's in so much pain, hot spots, and fur. And I go, let me set you up.

What do you feed in the dog? I go, take all that, throw it in the trash. Yeah. Follow me right here. Forget everything you thought you knew about dog food. And then I asked some questions, you know, what kind of food is your animal interested in? What are they, you know, they're like wet, frozen? Like, what are we talking here?

And then I picked out a thing. And they would always come back a few weeks later and say, Ben Avery, you changed my life. I did look into it. A lot of the people. I hope you have all the success in company. All the top companies that are, that are, that are, uh, W-S-A-V-A-A-approved or whatever, they spend millions of dollars paying that company or that organization.

So it's all bullshit. It's like the health industry. It's all fake. It's just. Yes, sir. So I don't know. Do your own research. I do your own research.

I mean, every time I go to the doctor, they try to put me on something that's going to kill me. They go, uh, but if you take this every three weeks, you've got to come get your blood drawn. I'm like, that doesn't sound healthy. Yeah, right. They go, yeah, it's really hard on, like, your kidneys and your liver and your spleen and your, Maybe your hair is going to all fall out. You're probably going to develop insomnia. You're probably going to have diarrhea.

Your nails will fall out. Like, literally, they'll say all this. But just give us your blood. Very seriously, and they're like, but it will be healthy for you. We want your blood. Give it us. Give it. So you want me to die.

You want me to die slowly, but while I'm giving you a ton of money. Mm-hmm. So then I can't jump insurances or cancel my health insurance because without health insurance, this will be $600 a pill. That's right. I'll never. I get it. Yeah.

But I looked up with the dog stuff. This, like, listen, I, first, I've made tons of jokes about pit bulls. They're pieces of shit, they should be put down. My dog's a pit. I know. But they're so, they're so, it's on a case-to-case basis. They're so, sometimes they're like the coolest dogs ever been around. Like, mine.

Like, I love, I've never been around a dog, like, my dog right now. Truly, like, all the dogs I had, like, growing up, they were a German Shepherd mix or a, another one I forget what her breed was they were like insane she's a lot easier and way more loving and like has caused me

less problems it doesn't bark or growl or anything so it's beautiful maybe she'll change I don't know but I do yeah obviously pits are crazy

and I did read a story they just ate like a family sure but there was but you don't have a family but I read into it it was seven of them they were owned by like

Appalachian three-eyed people and I'm sure the dog showed signs and they never did anything about it. So it ate a baby. I have seen videos where it's like Robert Shaw when he's like sliding down the boat and I'm like Jesus Christ. Yeah.

But it's just a against like, no they're nuts. But then I looked up all the dog breeds. There's dogs. Getting dragged down to sea by a huge like 800 pound pit bull. Yeah, shooting a barrel into it. Fucking wrecking a boat. They're shooting harpoons into the

side of the pit bull. Dye, you shut of a bitch. It's crazy. But your dog's lovely. But there's Then I looked up, I was like, all right, what, what are the rates of, obviously pits do it more, but every, almost like the top big breeds of dogs, there's stories of them all eating people or killing people. Yeah. Huskies. Huskies are on, big on the list. You're right. Of killing their own. Every dog eats every person. So, it's like, it's just how, I guess, how you raise them. I have little kids. I would never have them around a pit bull. They are around my pit bull every day,

Emma, of course, but she's different. And that's what I would never have my. My baby's around your pit. And that's what I'll say about my dog. And I am bringing her over. And she's going to get acquainted with your children. I think Emma's like 70% pit. I think she's like 70 probably. I'm going to look up what she is.

I'm going to give her a DNA test because she has like she has a nose thing that's not full pit to me. It looks like Chihuahua-y. Your dog's beautiful, man. I love your dog. It's a great little dog you got. She's gorgeous. But the moment that dog gets dementia, you got to do I Am Legend style chokeout. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will.

If it develops the Robin Will. The minute she does anything like a little out of character, I'll make excuses and keep her. You got to run the back. The next July 4th. The minute she does anything weird, I'll make excuses and I'll alienate everyone in my life from me and it'll just meet me and her in a cabin and she'll kill me in my sleep. Because I'm in love, damn it. That day could come. I mean, it's not like Pipples are doing, it's not like they're pushing people.

into the Grand Canyon. It's not like they, they just, they seem to get dimension, they overreact and they think they're being attacked. What I'm saying is like they're not like, they're not like pushing kids into swimming pools and like making the drown. No, they're not like Machiavelli and deaths.

Like they're not, they're not pinning people against each other and poisoning your, your drink. They don't crawl under a vehicle and cut the brakes to your car. Yes, no. Before you go to work. None of that.

They're not the zodiac. No. They don't show up at the park with a hood on to tie you up and stab you a bunch. but they do eat a baby like a tootzy roll pop A one A two Yeah

They get scared They get sundowns They get sundowns It's weird because I know your dog's so nice But I'll never bring my kids over here I never would bring my kids Oh I get it well I would just put her in the crate Or figure it out if he did

I definitely want to have a baby around Like my son definitely not She's in the teething period So when that's over If she ever like actually tries to like bite then I'd be like pretty concerned but right now she's just teething like playfully interesting but doesn't show and she's doesn't doesn't growl at anything doesn't even she has like the the prey drive that I've looked at you know that there's a whole word term squirrels

and she just kind of looks at cock-eyed she just kind of like wants like she'll like get a little excited but she doesn't do it I haven't seen any like and all my other dogs had like how like my sheba could not be around other dogs she really want to kill them so this one doesn't do that which is interesting so far yeah people think you're a horrible person people are upset at me very a lot of pussy no people are very judging i saved the life she had a surgery she said somebody you shouldn't have saved that life she needed somebody to stay with her and i did and she'd immediately love me yeah and i'm like her i'm her fucking people having an opinion on it anyway is crazy yeah imagine caring imagine you invited a killer into your home they see they see it

like you adopted geoffrey dommer they literally do apparently which is Like, that's cute. Like, it's kind of like you just have a loaded gun with the safety off that's just sort of laying on the floor and something to kick it. How many pit bulls do you think they're like, like there's, there's millions of people that have, that have had lives where they go, that was the greatest dog I ever had and never did anything wrong. So those cases are thrown out the window.

I think a lot of people really love to look at statistics now where they say if this is more likely to do that, then it's bad. And they probably should be banned as a breed or whatever. I don't know, but for right now they're still here. We're talking about pit bulls? I guess. I'm not working at a sit-abon anytime soon. And it's a female pit.

Comedy. It's a female pit. The ones with the big balls and the dicks, those ones usually kill your baby. I wouldn't want to come over if your dog had its big balls and dicks. I was on a walk yesterday. I think the male pits are a lot more dangerous. Dude, I was on a walk yesterday. There was a dog.

I was like, it's nuts and dick are bigger than any. I've seen in my actual life. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. I don't like that. You shouldn't have that. The balls look like it.

It hurts so bad. Big hanging dog nuts is crazy. Chop them off. I think you can put a rubber band on them and they fall off. Just come off. Snip, snip, snip. Yeah. Just go fucking...

Yeah. A little safety scissors. Don't walk out in public while I'm trying to... Cut a stick off while you're at it. But my dog... My dog had fucking cherry eye, which is not predominant with pits. So I think she was bred by like some designer fagg people that like... That when she, the minute she got the thing, they were just like, fuck her.

It's not worth... paying for her surgeries, so they left her. Because she's still pretty under, like, I keep looking up the rates of her size comparative to what an actual pit at, like, six months is. She's really tiny. I had people call the pet food store, and they'd be like, hey, I have a pit bull. Do you know where I can get their ears clipped? And I would just hang up.

That's insane. I'm like, you're an insane piece of shit. But people, I mean, especially, you know, like in Highland Park and stuff. Why do they do that, by the way? What is that all about? Just to make them more dangerous? I think it's just a style thing, yeah. By the way, her ears don't go up.

They're floppy. ears. She has like flop ears, which is not, I don't think, a pit bull thing. There's a little bit of something else in her. It's got something good in there. And that is, it's Godwiler. She's mixed with Gondi. A beautiful dog. A beautiful dog. Congratulations on your dog. Thank you. I hope you, I hope you have a merry Christmas with your pet. I will. Under the tree. You're acting like we'll never see each other again. Yeah, what are you planning? I'll be over all the time. What the hell are you talking about? I just I hope you have a good holiday season Devin I know you're hanging by a thread

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