lemonparty - 167: Long Racist Winter P. 1

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Ben discovers woke is back after a long racist winter... Beans from even stevens cannot take down the ring, Devan smells patchouli from a mile away, and all of OKC might be carpet bombed... this week on lemonparty. https://www.lemonparty.life/ https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/LEMON use code lemon bonus episodes ⁠https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One chicken, one, chicken, one, chicken, whews. Chicken, one, chicken, chicken wings. One, one, chicken wings. Yeah, you like my outfit, don't even make the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill. Always in my face, talking listening. Girl, I ended up about some real for the cat-knack. You rag clean, but your gas take.

But your gas tank is on me Be stepping now they got no decent shoes on your feet That's just to feed it bro. You don't know what you're talking about In the face, there's no choice when the come out Hate to see you in the club You're bombing with a mug No one that you're bad with your boy you're nothing but a scrub

But he was with me That's when you treat hate it Cause when I got up on you in your bed near faith I showed it and I face drinking on the act Mouth full of clothes But your ass needs to be to What you need's a girl Real place and fun

What you're at all with your phone Yeah Like one time Yeah Now everybody is like drinking jizz And they're like at like hip coffee shops acting like They have like they're artists Yeah yeah

They act like they all are just like They've made it on their own I blame I blame Masa Akira honestly Her doing the girlfriend experience And trying to be like a writer yeah she opened it's not her fault i think she's a talented person but she opened the door for everybody to get comden and then try to be like no but i'm like a but it's yeah i'm like funny and i have like a personality and shit like that yeah yeah i know you mean it's like no you destroyed

your body and your soul no at the end of the day it's never coming back i was thinking about this because i met a gay porn star out in joshua tree with joey a long time ago really after the we did the our two or two hundredthep or a hundredth up what was it our hundredth Or 100th, 11th party. The next day, I stayed in Joshua Tree with Joey for the whole day because he, quote, unquote, had to go to work. So I drove him to a Starbucks. He just started getting hammered at the Starbucks. I did too.

And he was answering emails. And then he just was like, let's try and find a better place with better Wi-Fi that has a bar. And we split off from you guys at that part because we were going home. So we stayed in. Joey's like, I got to yell at Asian people through my computer. So we stayed in Josh Retrie the entire day. Right. We went to this other bar, like, in the middle of the desert.

It was, like, a hipster, silver-lakey, like, coffee shop with a bar and a back patio. And Joshua Tree's full of fucking, like, Brooklyn people now. It's either Brooklyn people or it's veterans with their legs blown off. Those are the two Joshua Tree guys. So this one guy starts asking, because Joey and I are, like, drunk and probably being, like, pretty funny with each other. And there was this one table, you know, far away from us. But this guy starts asking us what we're doing. He's, like, jacked, handsome.

He's with a girl. like a pretty good looking girl starts asking us what we're doing he thinks we're actors or whatever we start talking to him he goes he says he's an actor too and I go okay interesting and then he says he knows

I mentioned some other actor and he says he knows the guy what is this? Oh Benjamin shit I left mine in the car should I go get it it? It's a great shirt right I got one too you got the Drew Lane Drew Lane

Drew Lane, Drew Lane, Drew Lane. Mine's in the car. I forgot to bring it in. I love it, bro. I love the Drew Lane show. Hopefully we could a shout out. Ben gave this to me around eight people from Texas, and we had to kind of try and explain what the joke was even about. This is a deep cut of you.

Yeah. Wow. But you know what? I sincerely like them. It's a good shirt, too. And that's a good shirt. I love Drew Lane. I do.

It's ass. This is great. He's one of the legends of radio to me. I mean, I love listening to, he's always, like, he's always confounded. He's kind of like Tucker Carlson, but for comedy shit. Yes. He's like, now why would Akash, why would Akash let his wife fuck all these women? And then four people in the room go, well, it's probably because of this or that or this or that.

He goes, but wouldn't you be embarrassed to have a bunch of men fuck your wife? And she goes and talks about it? I mean, I just don't get this. It's my favorite radio thing is they're so good at killing five hours every day that they'll just randomly be like, they're like, no, no, if you, if you ask me, I don't, I don't get it. That's just me. The show's like a throwback. I like it.

It's like a mix of podcasts. They do podcast topics, kind of, but they're radio, but it reminds me of good radio. Yeah, it's built to turn your brand. It's like lollabies for adults. It's kind of like beautiful. It is. Just that pause and question for no reason. I love that.

And they're from like Detroit, right? Yeah. Hell yeah, what a great work in class city. They're all just, they're talking about fucking comedy drama. Talking about Riyadh. I like the producer you can barely see over the, uh, there's a bunch of wires like in his face. It's like me.

Yeah. You barely see over the thing. Yeah. He chimes in. You see it. You can see his eyes over the. Yeah. That's awesome.

He times in every once in a while. It goes, it's from a TikTok video. He's like a TikTok video. It's almost like it's his, he's neighbors with. Drew Lane. Yeah, he's the guy from Home Improvement. He's peeking over the fits. Who's eavesdropping?

You're talking about Akash's wife, Tim? Talking about his slut wife. Yeah, I love his takes on Burr, Akash. Keep him coming. And then, Drew, yeah, he'll say, like, he'll say, like, and why would he let his wife have a podcast? You're already a big public figure. And then the woman will come in, and she'll be like,

women, all women, want to, like, I'll do their own thing, too. And he goes, I guess you're right. I guess you're right. He legitimately makes me LOL, though. He does. Does he have, like, the one sidekick and radio they always have, where he'll just chime in and be like, well, I think she's hot. I don't know.

There's like four, I think there's three, three dudes and one girl. It's a little bit like Ron and Fez almost. A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I only see the clip. Who's a master. But I love it. Sorry, I interrupted you, though, with the Christmas gift. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. I love a joke gift, even though it's kind of sincere. But you are going to wear it. It's a nice shirt. It is a good shirt. It is a good shirt. He's doing the shocker on the front of it.

He's doing Dan Cook Sufi on it. Yeah. Ten years in the Macon, too. No, my main point was ultimately this guy, we started talking to me about Alex Garland and, like, directors. And I was like, oh, well, all right. He's pretty, he explained to Deiase X mocking it to me. And in the back of my head, I was like, yeah, I know what Deis is. Okay, whatever.

We go home. We look him up. He's like a big only fans guy that, like, you know. know, jacks off with other men for a living, and, like, has all these pictures of him, like, holding his, like, raging cock, and he's, like, screaming. And we're like, oh, my God, that was the guy we had a lovely afternoon with. You shook his hand, and now you're watching it going an ass. Did you think about that?

Not Penn. He doesn't do Penn. Okay. I don't think. And that's why he says it's not gay. Penetration? They call Penn. Full pen.

Look at you, Mr. Industry. Full pen. Mr. Showbiz. That's for Genpop. But, but, uh, but, uh, so that that made me think, though. Now when I'm at like, you know, when I'm at like the $9 matcha place or whatever and you're looking around and everybody, you're like, I'm around a bunch of like horrors and hookers. We've turned back into the old west. There's no economy.

So like that person in line in front of you that you think is like some proper, I'm like, you probably drink jizz on the internet. You're right. You go to church, your reverend shows whole for money. Yes. Yeah. Every single one of us. Every time I think I'm looking at somebody that's like trying to be in like literature, like, on like Twitter or whatever where they like discuss. movies or whatever, you could keep clicking, and you could ultimately get to them shoving

like ping-pongs and their pussy. No one has any respect or stuff. Everyone's finished. They'll show porn their own porn to promote their book. They'll be like, look at my big fat ass. By the way, my first book comes out July 23rd. Yeah, I've seen that. She's got a great ass.

She does have a great ass. And I'm wondering how that book is. I can't wait to read it. You're just jacking off to the book. You're getting mad. You're like, where is her ass? You got to do that, man. You start doing porn to promote your buck.

Like, the back of my balls. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing the goat. What is it? The goat series, spread your ass. No, no, what's the one where you stick your dick and your balls? The ram. The ram, I think.

You act like a goat. Yeah. Yeah. You imagine William Faulkner doing that back in the day. William Faulkner's like, I'm going to turn my dick into a snail real quick. Look, the balls of the show. Anyway, check out. That's how they dying.

It's about a retard. He has his dick. He goes, what time is it? He has his dick over his wrist. Anyway, Absalom. Absalom's out. Next week, make sure to pre-order, and I'll jack you off if you pre-order. But yeah, that was my little awakening that day.

Because the guy was so, like, hip and norm. Like, I don't know. I always just expected porn stars to just be, like, you know, tattooed maniacs or not that bright. But everyone is... We have the hipster porn star now. Everyone's in it now. It's crazy. We know people who have started Onlyfans.

We know, like, many people. We know people who have started OnlyFans and then had to quit it because nobody's subscribed to the OnlyFans. Which is absolutely tragic because I've seen absolute beasts out there and people are curious to see the mark of the beast. So a beast could still make like 90 grand in a month. A water buffer could be on OnlyFans. Because people want to examine the lump. They're like, I knew there was a lump under that shirt and I'm going to pay to see it. They're like, oh, it's a goiter.

Okay. It's got like a tooth out of it. George Lucas lives in her chest. I mean, the price of admission at the zoo is steep. It is. We know women in comedy who have turned themselves into the elephant man on only fans is what you're saying. Yes, of course. Yeah.

We found out a comic the other day. We were like, oh my God. We all booked a party. Who was it again? We can't say. I can't believe it. No, they find them now. People were kind of getting close.

Oh, they're reading lips. People kind of got close. Yeah. And run with it. We should out rapists on this show to protect women. We'd get, yes. And then all these women start loving the show, and then the next episode is us just being like, the pussy meat, they're fucking hoars. We give up outweigh through.

We're trying to lazily connect two dots to be like, fuck women. We're like, the whores, fuck them. We outrape us so that we could do a whole episode on women being whored. We're like John Cassavatti's for podcasts. One for you, one for me. Not as one for me. Fuck women. They all, no, rape isn't real.

I was pretending last time. But yeah, we all found out we all of us started like running around in circles. It was crazy. Did you get weirded out by just knowing that you talk to a guy who jacks off and does all that shit? It was a little shocking. That drinks come? We called him on hate watch and it was he's a good guy. But Joey was obsessed with it.

Joey couldn't believe it. We sent the picture of him to ourselves all the time as like a joke. This is a guy who drinks cum. No, he doesn't drink cum. He just, like, does, like, he's, like, Jack that does, like, hardcore, like, jacking off with another guy porn or something. But it's straight. He's jacking the guy off? He is straight.

But let's just sit next to each other and beat off. They just go, like, ha! They do, like, animalistic. Yeah. He's an animal. That's cool. Yeah. He rules.

That's masculine, actually. In a weird way, it is. He just, like, has a truck in the desert, and he goes to hip coffee shops and talks movies, and then he's like, oh, hold on, I got to go do my job real quick. I don't call that homosexuality. I don't call that old school heterosexuality. Okay. That James Dean hetero type of shit.

You got to go back 2,000 years to not be gay and do that shit. Caveman shit. If you have a time machine, you're never gay. Yeah. If you're Roman Saturian. That's true. If you're Socrates fucking a bunch of boys, then it's fine. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, but it's pervaded in every week. I remember in college there was a guy who was, like, a couple years above us in a social club who they caught. He was in a video with a cowboy hat just jacking off. And he was like a total, like, roll coal. Who was that? I don't know his name, but he was in, like, something called, like, not Ram Ranch, but something like equivalent to the, like, literally called, like, Dick County or something. Oh, no, he went to ACU. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

He pledged in the thing I was in. Yeah, in your social club, yeah. I think people find it, like, liberating to just be like, fuck it. It's almost like getting over your fear of being naked in the locker room to an extensive level. They were twin brothers. There was twins and they both wanted to be actors

and they both ended up doing gay stuff. Not together though, separately. Yeah, obviously, you know, you're highly illegal. I remember being at a house parties and people were being like, it wasn't gay because he was jacking off alone on camera. So it's fine. We don't have to excommunicate him

from our little... We had a kid that he got hit up to do porn and then he found that it was just like he had the jack off on camera and he told us and we were all like, you're a fat. Just even the fact that you took the call. Because of the camera. Yeah, we're just, no, he didn't even do it. We were just like, you're gay.

You got it up. Because he didn't hang up. They hit you up. You must have gay face. Like One of my best friends, he went to like a very large private school in, like, Houston area. And he said there was two girls who got caught. They were like underage, too. And they did like a video where they were both like scissoring each other or something. And the whole

the whole school had got out, and apparently every single guy in the school just asked if they would walk up to them and be like, can I fuck both? I'd be like, right now. They had to, like, leave. It's a relocate. Yeah, they were like, literally, they became like rape targets amongst the community.

Clay pigeons. Yeah. They, like, everywhere they looked, they saw, like, the predator, like, coming at them. Oh, God, yeah. But it was, like, the big incident. Yeah, they had to get them out on a chopper. Like, it was Vietnam.

Fortune's son was playing. Yeah, they're holding up. a little Vietnamese baby and they go take him take him I know I know survived just napalm everywhere my little girl will do porno in America one day take her which I've been watching the kinsburn Vietnam documentary do you know we got the last chopper out of Vietnam is we just did a like a little whoopsie-dazy lie is like we had soldiers at the embassy and then we kept sending officials and then we're like all you dirty Vietnamese people we'll get you after all the the Americans and then Every soldier who was guarding the fence around the embassy was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick.

And then they just walked up to it. And then the next thing, just Vietnamese people saw them like taking off an helicopter and we're just like, okay. Well, I guess I'll get killed now. Well, mission. And we go mission accomplished. You're welcome. You're welcome. Yeah. I don't even understand why helicopters go down. It doesn't make any sense to me. It looks like you could fly it with a, like it's an RC car or something. It doesn't make any sense. Just land. Just land it. Because I've seen videos, it's just like one stick. How fucking heart is it? Well, it seems like it's just if anything hits the propeller, though, you're fucked.

We've seen that video where the guy broke his tail off and still flew for like three minutes before he crashed it in the fucking Hudson. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It's a joke. It's a complete joke. It's fake. Getting killed by a helicopter. Kobe was killed by China because he was trying to out pharmaceutical companies. That's what a lot of schizophrenic Sam Tripoli listeners send to me.

And I like Sam Tripoli, but I don't know. I'm just saying it. He seems like a good guy. I'm saying that in case he gets clipped and sent to him. I don't want anything. I don't think about Sam Tripoli. I'm just saying, I always click on the people that send me that stuff, and they're always reposting Sam Tripoli stuff. Yeah.

They're turning their heads into Big Hershey's Kisses. Yeah. To avoid the government. The government's spying on a retarded man who eats hot pockets in his basement. They go, well, the thing I made up can't get to my brain if I have a big Hershey's kiss on top of it. Like a big retard. There's no way the government could spy on me. Anyway, time to watch Sam Tripoli on my cell phone from Apple.

On my Metro PC-ass phone. Yeah, exactly. You can fucking retard. Yeah, you're right. Unless you listen to the show. Of course. Yeah, then you're cool. Yeah.

Do you guys see the beans from even Stevens? No. Does he have an only chance now? No, he reported that he got fired from Universal Studios. He worked at Universal Studios? Well, no. Yeah, he played Maggie Simpson in the park. uh wait is universal would he work as a guy was he an actor yeah well that's why i'm

questioning as what was he doing beans from even stevens yeah i understand because he reported a suspected pedophile supposedly he reported himself from the future yeah yeah he does yeah he does look like a sci-fi story about a guy who rapes his own self i know as it's looper but you're a pedophile, so you keep going back to molest yourself as a kid. It's the perfect crime. Yeah, you shoot yourself in the heart so you can't molest yourself as a child. Former child star is alleging that

he was fired from his job at Universal Studios after reporting a suspected pedophile at the theme park. On Saturday, January 3rd, Stephen Anthony Lawrence claimed in an Instagram posted his position at Universal Studios, Hollywood was terminated as retaliation by his boss in response to the allegation he made. Well, so the boss is the pedophile. Yeah.

He goes, you're fired. You'll never sell cotton candy in this park ever again. What was he doing at Universal? Yeah, what does he do? He's like a ticket taker? I think now we're going to find out. Has it beens fallen that far? Crazy he was with Shia LeBuff and now he's...

Was this his roadside memorial? What is this? That was his employee badge. That's all scuffed up and shitty. So he'd been working there for a very long time. It's Universal Studios. Is it in Arkansas? Is that what it says?

Toad Suck, Arkansas. Is this his life? Is that where he's from? Universal Studios Hollywood. Toad Suck Arkansas on his name bill. What? What is it? Can you type in where Beans from Even Stevens is from?

Is he from a retarded town called Toad Suck, Arkansas? And they have a universal? I thought. I didn't know there was multiple. I'm assuming, I'm using, oh, God, he's our same age. He's from Fresno. Oh, he's from Fresno. So he's from the Arkansas of California.

He was raised in a bang energy drink. He grew up inside of C4. Yeah, he should have got an Oscar for that. He should have been the Oscar that year. Spray painted him yellow. Yeah, he's done a lot of great work with a lot of great people. Yeah, the filmography for Beans gets really sad around 2009. So he got fired for saying there was a pedophile working with them.

Yeah, the filmography always gets sad. Because there's no blue links after, like, 2011. Yeah. What if you're like Steve Anthony Lawrence, early life? You go, yep, every time. Yeah, you knew it. That's why he, how do you think he got that job at Universal Studios in Tootsuck, Arkansas? Yeah, Beans is from, that's how you know Israel has fallen, that Beans doesn't have work anymore.

Why is he working at Universal Studios? Yeah. You think he could, Devin, you're in the business. Can't he live off of checks? I get to the mail? A little bit. I don't know. I think those checks are, the problem is those checks are now for like $4.

Yeah, they're probably for like $50. Yeah. So he was one of the toads in the Super Mario Brothers universe at Universal Studios. Wait, really? He was a performance role. According to Claude, or I'm sorry, Jim and I. Mm-hmm. So he wasn't even, they didn't even go, hey, this is Beans from Even Stevens.

He was just a guy. They didn't care. They knew no one would care or no. No, he was toad from Mario. Yeah. You know, he probably all day, he walked around. He's like, by the way, I'm beans from even Stevens. And people go, oh, that's really sad, man.

Anyway, I'm going to go. Are you having my frozen lemonade? Anyway, I got to go beat up a minion. Excuse me. I don't know what the Toad suck thing is, because it says it's the Universal Studios in Hollywood. He's probably got a pretty big lawsuit on his hands if there's a real pedophile there. Unless he might just be like a schizophrenic, like, sound of freedom guy. calling anyone

about a mile did a guy try to fuck him like did he think he was a kid I wish we could know man yeah there is it

Halloween horror nights man these Halloween horror nights is just they show you beans and it's just as the thing

he wore to court a year ago Christy Carlson Romano showed support in the comments We need word that you back up cadet Kelly came in

I had a big crush on her a kid, Chrissy Carlson Romano. Yeah, she had some big tits. Yeah, she wrote, good for you, Stephen. Even though you are a pedophile. Does he do a podcast or anything? They had a podcast about Even Stevens. Unfortunately, I don't think Shia LaBuff was part of the cast.

No, no, he tried to rape everybody there. Yeah, I think they had Beans on an episode of the Even Stevens recap podcast. It was like talking Sopranos, but for Evens. I hope he gets justice. Yeah. Justice for my N-word beans. My N-word. Justice for him.

Oh, that my N-word beans. Look at him. He looked like refried beans now. Yeah, did they say what he, like how he caught a pedophile at all? They never, they never said that. I imagine it was. He would have to reveal. Jay says between him and his lawyers.

Right. Of course, yeah. His lawyers who are a cat eating a big fish bone. His lawyer is an old boot and a fishbone and an apple core. My dream team. It's my lawyer. It's a harmonica and a pack of gum. A playboy from 1968.

There was another child star from Ned's declassified. He's smoking crack on Hollywood Boulevard. I saw that as well. Which one? The white one? Ned? No, I think he's like a Hispanic kid. Chase Martin?

Oh, Chase Martin. Is that his name? I don't know. Is that a TikTok kid? I don't know. But this is the trajectory. This is the evolution. You end up becoming an ottoman for Andy Dick

on Hollywood Boulevard. You become an ashtray. Yeah, you turn into one of the whalers outside. A whaler? You're a whaler now. Is that confirmation that these kids do that it's churn and burn with the asses? In Hollywood?

Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty bad. They all stay close to... Drake Bell moved to Mexico because he was being accused of, like, pedophilia. Drake Bell? Drake Bell's huge in Mexico. From Drake and Josh, yeah.

He was on like... He was fucked. He was like raped, kind of. But then he also, I think he... He also kind of raped. He also kind of raped. So it's kind of like, oh, it's, you know... It's a watch.

Hurt people, hurt people. Exactly. He raped? I think a little bit. I know women ain't too happy with him online. Yeah. But Mexican women love him. He's huge in Mexico.

He raped Josh, actually. He raped Josh Pack. Yeah. That's why he got skinny. That's what happened. Josh didn't invite him to his wedding. It was a big big deal. beef but yeah no this is a horror every guy that's opening the the door for you at 7-11 and you're

like please it's okay that's the bib's the biggest star on disney in 2002 who's the guy that gets punched in uh he gets punched in uh fuck i'm trying to remember Fred Stoller when he gets punched to the payphone glass oh and dumb and dumb and dumb and dumber yeah and he was on norm McDonald Live. Yeah, yeah. But Fred Stoller's, I ran in him at a 7-Eleven. Was he picking quarters out of the payphone? What was he doing?

Yeah, he found the last pay phone in America. But I want to turn to me like, really, you're still here. Yeah. Still here. Interesting. He's like, God's tried to kill me many times, but I'm still ticking. That's very funny. I knew him vaguely when I was a child.

Fred Stoller? You're sitting on gold? I'm sitting on gold. Golden Fred Stoller leads. And I loved everybody loves Raymond, and I knew he was like the cousin and everybody loves Raymond that like sucks ass. And I was really excited to meet him. And I was like, I was probably like 11 or something.

And even at 11, I was like, this guy sucks ass. He actually sucks ass. I remember telling my dad, I was like, that was weird. It was boring. When your dad was like, that's what? right, Devin. You're a good judge of character. How did you know Fred Stoller? He was friends with

my dad's friend, Neil. Oh, Neil that guy. He came to some... Rest in peace. Yeah, rest in peace. Neil Jimenez. But, yeah, he was at some thing. I don't remember what. I still haven't seen Neil's movie. River's Edge, it's fantastic. It's very good. It's great. It's a great classic. Very, very weird. I know everything about Neil.

I've read everything about his life. Yeah. But I haven't seen the film. I haven't considered any of his art. Great film. Didn't you write something after that that starring Danny DeVito? No, I don't think so He made the water dance With Helen Hunt and Wesley Snipes It's kind of vaguely based on his life

After he got paralyzed Yeah, he gets paralyzed Yeah, Eric Stoltz was in it Eric Stoltz I spoke at Neil's funeral And Eric Stoltz was watching me speak Really? Yeah, and I think he was a little annoyed at me

He didn't seem that happened He's like, why is this fat kid speaking at his funeral? Did you have a big goal If you were shaking? No, this was recently This was like five years ago He said, pour what out for deal Oh, that's right, he died later

Yeah, but it was bizarre It was weird I was just looking at the guy Why do you think he was annoyed at you? I don't know, I was making people laugh a little bit He said time and place And I think, yeah, I think it was And I like knew him better than anyone else

Because Neil dropped it off the face of the earth For like, you know, 15 years It was just me and my dad were the only ones Taken Care of him for a long time You guys were like his last thread to humanity for a little bit So there's all these people that hadn't seen him In like 15 years Todd Field was there too

Really? The inventor of Big League Chew, Todd Field. The guy, the director of, like, Tar. Yeah, yeah. He also invented Big League Chew? He invented Big League Chew? What the fuck? Todd Field, yeah.

Yeah. No, I remember, yeah, um, that was it. It was just bizarre. I just remember looking over in the midst of, like, talking personally about this guy that I knew my entire childhood, but then I'd be like, it's fucking, that's the adrenaline guy from Pulp Fiction. Like, that's insane. He'd be like, what's here? Stolt's fucking problem.

What the fuck, man? Can you smile? Sorry you haven't been in anything. while you were great on marron i just watched there will be blood last night and the whole movie mark and i were just like weakest actor and sag after we just watched like a great i'm like yeah paul dana i'm like he's incredible he's great i don't know what are you talking about a true religious experience tarantino doesn't like it because it reminds him of his big headed fucking autistic no charisma yeah nobody likes you you're a loser obviously you're not cool paul dana reminds

tarentine of himself yeah that's why he hates tarantino's such a loser he had to move He had to become Israeli. That's how much of a... That's like guys who can't fuck in Japan. You have to move to Israel and become honeypotted. Every Tarantino opinion is so strange now. Yeah. He's like, he's like, Paul Dana should have been replaced with The Rock.

Their movie would have been much better of Dwayne the Rock Johnson. The best movie the last 20 years is those Snickish commercials with Roseanne. Where she's hungry. Yeah, he's, no, he's, he just also announced he's like, I will, I will, uh, support Israel to the day I die. I saw that the other day. Is that real? Is that a real quote? I think it was a real quote. That sucks ass man. I could have been fooled. You might have got lib baited. Did I get lib baited? Is hating Israel live now? It's uh, I don't know. It doesn't matter. I'm an expert in Venezuela now. So I don't even care. Because I got all the stuff about

Gaza, but luckily I memorized the Venezuela Wikipedia page. I was a little lost. Well, you're fond of Dave Smith principle of entertainment. I was a little lost until Dave Smith tweeted something that it wasn't a sentence at all until Dave Smith tweeted like could be bad could be worse yeah you said that it was like and then again it yeah it was it was like it might be it might rain or it might not I don't know yeah well you know him and Ian Carroll are cooking up the most retarded take of all time about this I mean Ian Carroll have a big pot full of shit they're stirring right now is there any take besides the exactly what Trump said it is for yeah it's It's just oil.

They just admit it now. Yeah. They got 17 trillion barrels, a billionaire barrels of oil. It's, I think, $17 trillion, something like that. Yeah. And we won it. So now it's ours. Fuck you.

Yeah. Yeah. And we take Maduro. He's all swagged out. He looked awesome. He looked awesome. He was wearing like the Marty Supreme jacket from A-24 when he got dragged out. And then also his bombing Chavez's tomb for no reason was pretty funny.

was pretty funny. We did that as well? Yeah, yeah. On the way out. Right? That's the guy's name, Hugo Chavez or whatever? Yeah, but I don't know if he's Venezuelan. I don't know.

I saw a guy's brains. I saw a guy with top of his head blown off in the streets of... Wait, really? Yeah, Krakis. There's footage like that. Yeah, I saw a picture. A guy was his brains are out, and his head was blown up. Oh.

I just saw the far away footage, which looked, it was very pretty. Happy New Year. It looked like... Happy New Year! His head looked like a cherry cordial. It looked like a candy I get at Seas Candy that you bite into. Yeah. But he's not, his name is long and confusing.

We don't care. Well, Trump's the anti-war president, man. Yeah, exactly. Oh, did you see this? I know this isn't every mega supporter or whatever. I don't, I give a fuck about any of this. But this has been making me laugh because it's almost, here. Okay.

So these people interviewed their parents on their podcast. Have you guys seen this clip? No. Okay, here we go. It's because you're in a cult. What if Donald Trump? Trump says, I want you to carpet bomb Oklahoma City. You think the Air Force should carry that out?

Yes. There might be a reason. We don't know. This is insane. There might be a reason. Jesus. Christ. Oh, my, my.

This podcast was going well until that. You just said it's cool. We've been leveled to Oklahoma. Watch the vulgarity. Watch the vulgarity. Like, you literally can't be that dumb. You know what the problem is? mom and i don't believe he'll ever blow up oklahoma because we're on his side and so's the whole

state no it's because you're in a cult you guys are worried and afraid because you live in a state where it might happen okay let's theoretically say that does happen the dad's like fags faggots gay fags eating your kale you're fags i own jio i kick ass Donald trump might bomb you're fag ass Anyway, back to the loneliest Thanksgiving dinner of all time I kick ass, I rule I look like somebody blew up Mitch McConnell

like a balloon My kids are gay My kids are gay And I hope Donald Trump carpet mons them Anyway Back to my Christmas dinner With spiders and lizards from my yard Carpet bomb the carpet munchers

The Golden Retriever won't even Won't even come out today Yeah, your dad Your dad called Spotta Live and now they're not speaking anymore. The cat just went to the woods and killed itself. Yeah. The dog moved to WeHo and it's gay now.

It doesn't even want to be gay. It just hates your father that much. I'm assuming they live in Oklahoma City, right? Of course. But they're like, yeah, boom me up. Okay. Let's theoretically say that does happen. Let's say Trump sends in the Marines to Los Angeles, California.

And let's say, I'm out going to see a movie on a weekend. And he says, go into that shopping. He says go into that shopping hall. Mr. College Boy. Oh, I bet you tweet. Mr. College. Oh, I bet you logged Marty Supreme on your letter box, fag. I hope Trump blows your ass apart.

Yes, I bet you had a knee-jerk take on one battle after another, too. Haven't even let it sit with you. They didn't even give it a second watch. Didn't give it a second watch. Probably thought it was amazing because it had black people in it. Yeah, well, I just emailed Trump your address. He's coming to kill you. I bet you two love sinners as well.

You thought there was no issues with the third eye. You're guilty, white, liberal fucks. Anyway, I hope Trump hunts you like Michael Myers. I hope he walks after you slowly with a big knife. I hope Trump kills you like that movie, The Jackal. Bruce Willis blows up Jack's head and arms. I haven't seen it, but I have YouTube reels, and it comes up every once in a while. I've seen it on short.

Anyway, he fucks Jack Blackup for being a fucking live. You're a truck. Quiet Piggy, he says go into that shopping mall and go everyone you see. And let's say I get gunned down by the Marines for just being at a mall. Okay, number one, let's just, let's just take it. All for us. All for it. Next.

Any other questions? The dad does kind of kick-ass at arguing. They keep trying to get him in like liberal gotches. He's like, yeah, blow my son up. Yeah, no, I'm a member of a death call. You truly have nothing on him. You can't beat him. He's a terrorist.

You can't beat him with nothing to lose. I know. When you see, and let's say I get gunned down by the Marines for just being at a mall. Okay, number one. All four. Let's just take it. Wait a minute. Mom, wait one second.

Wait one second. Dad just, hang on, Mom. Dad, you just said you are for Donald Trump murdering me for no reason, and you would support that. If he walked in them all to people with military, there has to be a reason. There's a reason, and I'm all for us. And the people in Los Angeles, California are as deserving of execution as assholes in New York City. You're all communists. You're all communists.

Oh, my God. Oh, man. Wow. I'll fart. I'll for it. I'll for it. That's totally fun. Bill Simmons is producing some really good podcasts.

And he goes, and by the way, Forge Gump is one of the most rewatchable films I've ever seen. Holy shit. Oh, that rules. And he knew he's probably one of those guys. He's like, anyway, we'll see y'all next week for Christmas. He probably, like, is such a, like, he does, like, the prayer. over like Christmas dinner. He's like,

and please God, strike my son with a bolt of lightning for being a communist faggot. You're communists. Sure, I'm all for it. That's what you get living in

California. There's your reason. I feel like older people used to be a little smarter, right? Yeah. Like 20 years ago. Is that scroll brain?

Yeah, they never, they were too old when phones came out. They never developed. It's like literally like when Coyotes got released into the Yellowstone,

they just started eating every rabbit that lives. That's an old person's brand. They're two... They're on their phones more than anybody. Yes. And slot machines. Yeah.

Yeah. We got read ads. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Speaking of slot machines. Oh, are we doing a... Yeah, it's a great thing. No.

We're not doing a... Oh, shit. We're not doing... We would never do that. Player stat projections. Idiot for money. Fool? Anyway, hey guys.

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And guess what's back? What's that? I really think, remember the, what's that Vigo Mortensen film, the Falconer or whatever, where he teaches his kids on a school? Captain Fantastic. Yeah, Captain, there you go. Yeah. Where he teaches them all in the woods.

Teaches them all in the woods. And they're all, like, really intelligent, but they, like, suck acid, like, being social. Mm-hmm. And he has them celebrate. Gnome Chomsky Day. Yes. Now it's, yeah, now he's a pedophile day. Pedophile.

It's starting to feel like that kind of culture might be coming back. Okay. What is that? Is that a, is that a horse's leg? What is that? Oh, it's a dog. Okay. Yeah, this is a post from Medicine.orgon.

This is sunken up the first day of the new year. And thoroughly enjoying settling into this life of time and freedom would create it. I was in it. We're back. Wow. White women with dreads on the bus and the desert. Singing about, you know, just pulling out the acoustic guitar and singing about Obama. And this time it's conservative.

Are they conservative? Are they liberal, Ben? Because I feel like conservatives have stolen... They're Nazis. They're white supremacists. No, but they've stolen going to the desert and being stinky. Of course. It's not a very Republican Nazi thing to do.

They're doing the Edward Sharp shit. Yeah. Wow. You might not know that. Edward Sharp and the anti-Semitic zeros. Yep. That's what it is now. They might be like making like liquid cyanide and stuff that they're trying to.

That's what they call moonshine. Maybe they're Nazi chemists going out in the woods to make it. Breaking bad. Crazy biological weapons to release. Breaking bad, but they're trying to invent Agent Orange to drop on Mexican people. Yeah. We got Zach Clown, A, B, C, we got them on. We got the whole damn alphabet, Zach Clown, baby.

I like how she's still even doing, like, third strap shit. You have to. Sticking her ass out. Well, she's paying for this van by, I'm showing her pussy on OnlyFans. She wants her dog, the fucker. Yeah, what if there are reasons for being really into wildlife or just, you know, they're just like, there's no black people out here. That's why we moved to the middle of nowhere.

Yep, there's a bunch of deer on, honey. That means not a single black. You know, they can't steal your car if you keep moving. This is what caught my eye right here And the first thing I noticed is This is definitely an anxiety dog Yeah, whatever you call them Uh, support dog

Yeah, which emotional support? They used to just be for people who were literally blind Yes, yeah Used to be for people, the state used to have killed Yes Because they couldn't exist in the societies we have been Now they're for people that get flustered when they're in line And somebody says next

You have to have like an animal Let's you know it's going to be okay Of course. Yeah. You're so retarded, a dog has to walk you from spot to spot to be an adult. You can walk by a dog. This is just a... I have no idea.

Whenever all we ever are is free. And she's putting together her drum for her awful music. There's two kids that should be taken by the state in the back on a bunk. I mean, I've always thought personally, like Native American stuff kind of stinks. And was the birth of the stomp clap shed anyway? Yeah, hey-ho. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It wasn't good, even when the Cherokee were doing it. It always was bad. If I'm on a walk... If I'm on a walk and I see an arrowhead, I'll throw it away. I'll throw it in the trash. Sitting bulls, like, hey, ho! I've been trying to do it right, but General Custer's on my ass. No, I know, yeah.

It sucks. People fetishizing Native American shit sucks. There's no melody. Burn Santa Fe to the fucking ground. Yeah, they go, well, what's your religion? they're like, I just kind of worship the concept of having a cow skull on the outside of your house. Yeah, exactly. It's that shit. That's my whole

life. I have like a little adobe house and... Imagine a cactus was wearing a necklace. That's my religion. They think Native American people can do magic. They think it's actual magic. They think it's actual magic. They think it's like Penn and Teller. Yeah. And meanwhile, they should be getting scalped right now. They should have a bunch of

Comanchee run and circle their vans. Well, we can break this down real quick. Because Medicine Megan. Okay. Medicine Megan. Medicine Megan is fine. It's wanderless. It's all back.

It's all coming back. That guy. That guy. That guy. That's the face you make when you get caught with C-SAM. That face. Whoops. He's kicking terabytes backwards under the table right now.

Oh. Yeah. I love how bad the outfit is. Yeah. It's terrible. This guy's like, I just became insane to get pussy from this weird lady. Yeah, he's just there for the pussy, he could tell. Oh, yeah.

He looks like Brett Gelman, if he never got any parts, he didn't deserve. I promise you, four years ago, this guy was like, he was, like, working on, like, Wall Street or something. This guy was a proud boy four years ago. Yeah. Yeah, and now he found a stinky. He was a finance bro. Yeah, he was a finance bro, and then he finally found a woman with a stinky pussy that gets wet around him sometimes.

No, he's there to fuck all of them, I think, on this trip. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah. He hits on the kids and shit. Free love, baby. And he's like, there's a place called Slab City, but there's no laws. There's no rules.

None. None. We should go there. The man won't keep us down, and I can fuck your children. Do you have a daughter? Yeah, I'm an, I'm an ethically monogamous pedophile.

This is just a face not to be trusted at all. And these guys always insert themselves in these groups. You could trace this face back to cavemen days, covered in berries that he stole from the group communal food stores. You see this guy, and it makes you want to do domestic terrorism on, like, RRIIs and, like, the Great Outdoors. You want to, like, you want to put Patagonia out of business. You're like, you have no idea what you're helping. You want to bomb granola.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. They have, like, a door on their bus. Like an actual door you and you would have it. Right, right. It's cute. Look at that. You're still in traffic.

They got big J-gloves. Yeah, and they've always found a white form of Rasta music. Yeah, exactly. It's a shame they're going to get blown to bits by Sheriff Joe Cross. Joe Cross is about to go call a duty boat. He's about to just take out his gatling. gun you can go fucking hippies fucking Nazi hippies

FBLM talk Black's Lives Matter Yeah these two By the way would I just want to say that Obviously credit where credit is due would Sure Oh of course of course

Through the mattress of course Till it stank Toot stank it already did Till it stank a little bit more The Dreds I just haven't seen a white girl with dreads In a long time I thought that's been phased out

No no I think These are fresh I mean, we're starting to, Jayce, you know what it is? You're starting to see the first flower bloom through the snow. Yeah. Of a long winter. This is the first of that Noah found after the, uh, fucking, it's been a long racist winter. Exactly.

No, just to, like, there's the first sign. Yeah, just to fuck a white woman in dreads that would be like eating that, uh, that poisonous puffer fish they serve in Japan, you know? Just the rarity of it would be magical. Why does that comment say brought to you by Lockheed Martin? What are they, what are they doing that's associated with that? No, they're usually saying these people. are the sons or daughters oh right they have the money to go do this type of shit right yeah and they put people point out singing about freedom while stuff

stuck in traffic nice one which isn't uncommon you know I think um a David Berman of the Silver Jews a guy really like killed himself was a great poet and everything he had a band called Purple Mountains too after Silver Jews it was really good his dad was like a Fortune 500 guy who was like raping and ruining the earth and he was constantly pleading with his dad and I think that's one of the main reasons he got into art. Is that why his band was called Silver Jues? Well, he was just Jewish. Right. I didn't know his dad was like a Fortune 500 guy though. Yeah, let me find out. Yeah, it was

Richard Berman was his dad, a lawyer, lobbyist. I think they had like a really strange relationship of Berman and coming here in similar. Are they called Silver, so he was Jewish? That's why he was called Silver Jews, yeah. Yeah. He's a dabbering in the world. He's like, we're not that Grady. We like silver. We're gold and shit. We're tasteful. We're tasteful. Tasteful Jews. Okay, I'll call my band Purple Mountains. I get it. He called his father evil. David Berman dissolved has been silver Jews referencing his shame and sharing the blood of his father, Richard Dr. Evil, Berman is credited with writing the modern... Dr. Evil?

He says, Richard Berman's credited with writing the modern playbook on the conservative AstroTurf Strategy of Wealth, Consolidation, and Political Corporate Double Speak. So whatever that means, I don't know So he's like a consultant for billionaires I guess probably Probably helping him do like tax haven't shit Do these retards do anything Or do they just sing in the car Do they ever camp

And actually Getting some shit Who knows? It could be their first week Trying to do this shit Yeah They could accidentally donner Donor party themselves in like a month That's what I'm hoping for you

Yeah Just it breaks down like three miles outside Joshua train They all start eating each other. They have no idea. They're that close, the civilization. Just trust me, you'll be fine. It's the, you know, Francis,

remember when Francis McDormon, she had a movie where... The No Man. There was, like, a bunch of corn in her poop, and she lived in a van or something. It was about her getting fired from Amazon and just living in her van and shitting herself and stuff. Picking the corn out and cooking. And she keeps meeting, like, other,

she keeps meeting, like, other, like, mid-50s people. that are just like, it's a hell out here. We need toilet paper. Yeah, they're just trying to clean out their, yeah. Some people watch that movie, and they said bingo. Yeah, and it was made by a Chinese lady. A Chinese, the daughter of a Chinese steel tycoon. Yeah.

We all to pretend the Chinese lady was like on tour, right? She's just studying us. Like, they're so pathetic. Look at them. Look at them. They white woman at 60. She's in van. She works for Amazon and then shits in a van outside of bar store.

She serves, boiled peanuts for three months, too. live in her own pool. She's flexible as hell. That's like a, that's, I've never seen a woman with less ass than that. That's crazy. It's weird that they go, like, these are dreads I see on black guys at the gym. Yeah. To go that, like that is kind of wild to me.

Your hair has to get so stinky. It's hard. As a white person to get dreads like that. She's good at her yoga. Yeah, it's good. So good for her. Her dog's waiting to fuck her. The dog's patiently tapping.

Yeah, the dog's on the, the on the side with his red rocket out just being like, okay. It's going to break there. Yeah. She goes, she pulls her pussy on and she goes, okay, hold.

Hold. Okay, get it. A batch of waffle batter. Yes. Cool. I haven't seen this stuff in so long. We grew up in the heyday of this stuff. Well, yeah, we went to a Christian

college in like two 2010 so there was a huge pipeline of people who would put the bungee out on the quad and be gross and stinky and barefoot and do their shit and be like i'm christian but like in a cool yeah yeah and i only have a half a they're really into seeds so we're going to do one cup of oats and they go and that's the last of our food you can also use cottage cheese but i don't know that's what sounds weird to me i never liked cottage cheese. I just, I don't know. It seems strange to put that in here. These people seem very happy. It's the amount of people showing you how to like, okay, some porn a glass

of water. So we have the water, the jug is here, and we push it in. It's unbelievable what people are willing to film. And everyone watches it. Me included. I am my mother, savage daughter. Raise a one. They actually think they're Native Americans

because they're in the middle of nowhere. She meant to write. racism wild and they just go out there and say it. They just scream it into the sky. I think they think Native Americans were lost. They go, they were a group of people that were here before us and they didn't know where to go. They never asked for directions.

Native Americans, they would ride their sprinter vans to the creek. They would wash in the creek. They made our whole country stinky. Just like us. Just like us. Anyway, let's drive to a place with no grass whatsoever. Let's pull out the propane tank

just like the Native Americans did. Oh, wow. Un-schooling. Wild schooling, road schooling, and child-led education. So the children are the teachers. Kids teaching kids. Or maybe the kids teach the adults. Yeah, she says, whatever you want to call it, I choose to allow her education process to unfold naturally.

So just like. Yeah, man. They are doing the captain. Captain Fantasman. Yeah, Captain Fantastic. She's trying to do that. Which is a dream for a kid. But then after like three weeks, you're like, oh, my God.

Yeah. Can I go to a pizza party? Yeah. The third time you smell like dry shit on your mom's ass through her fucking Lulu Lemon shorts in the middle of the Mojave Desert. You're like, can I, you enroll me? Please. Do I have to keep suffering for the overcorrection you did because Prozac wasn't working?

Please. You couldn't build any meaning just like everyone else before you. And now I have to. I would say as a kid, I'd hate this because there's nowhere to jack off. I loved Xbox as a kid, playing Xbox Live. I love to eat sandwiches This shit sucks me I don't I want to do this shit

I'd actually go back to school I'd bake my mom And I hated school with all my heart All my heart I hated it's right I'd run into a police station And ask for a game boy color Yep

And I would accuse that my dad Who did that face of raping me So my family goes to know You'd have to accuse your mom Of human trafficking Or something Which she is by making your life suck ass She's trafficking you into a shitty

Stinky life That's right Yeah This is abuse, actually. It is abuse, kind of. It's abuse. It's abuse. I mean, that's about the movie Captain Fantastic is kind of about, is that it's ultimately bad for his children.

Yes. And he has to accept that. And there's a bunch of them all in school buses. Yeah. And they're all, yeah. Tons of inner cities could use those buses, by the way. Oh, sure. I mean, she stole those from Flint, Michigan.

They drove those right out of Flint. Flint United. That's so funny. Yeah, high school. Just schools that are being foreclosed on, condemned, being shuttered, and they're bidding on the bus at an auction. And she's like, Barry Weish gave me six grand for this bash. So I can go be a Nazi outside Joshua Tree. Bus life is officially back.

The funny thing is some people are gambling on, dude, like Winnebago, that's going to be big. That's going to be huge because Americans won't be able to afford houses. Ride the living in Winnebago. You know, expensive these. Airstream trailers. You know, expensive? these things are, though. They're the price of a house. Extremely expensive. There's nowhere to go.

Yeah. No, there's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to go. Two hundred, two, fifty, on some of these things. Yeah, the cost to maintain, I think it's like 10% of what it costs, too. Like annual. Yeah. Yeah. You got to pay storage. No, it's fucked. Yeah. It actually apparently sucks to own like an RV.

I think it's a real hassle. Yeah. Probably like owning an elephant. Yeah, owning a boat, that type of thing. Let's all go to the Whole Foods and Flagstaff, just like the Iroquois did. okay let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's on toasted oats the jackarilla indians used to go to trader joes they used to love the dumplings the soup dumplings

they all had a microwave and a generator in their school bus anyway let's go to bLM land and make uncle ben's rice packets am I wrong for when this stuff was dominating we're less people walking into schools with shotguns and laying waste everything yeah we hadn't quite perfected that at that time. Yeah. That's really the problem is... But things were better, right?

We got too good at PSIOPs, is that we're too damn good at it. So everybody's fallen in a myriad of ways. Not as we come out on time. Alex Jones is talking about loboos, you know, while, you know, pedophiles roam free. Hey, you watch your mouth. I'm friends with Rex Jones, his son. Well, okay, well, tell him to have his dad stop talking about little boo-boos. Started talking about the pedophiles who vowed to destroy the...

whole life i am disappointed alex's pro uh war now that's that was a hard one to swallow the video when the like it was like a lot of like the war and epstein stuff and then he's like my little boo boo just six seven it was like that feels like a punishment from the elite to make him post this video maybe i like when alex does memes though yeah but here in the right yeah well it's kind of like dude it's like eddie murphy did the dolomite movie like fucking just like you know these are legends we're talking about these are goats sure He did Daddy Daycare Leave him alone

He did Daddy Daycare Which is actually really good He's great in every movie That he's in Dave He's good in Dave I watch clips from that He's good on half

He's good in that He's great The movies are just bad I just rewatch Bowfinger He's great in Bowfinger Bofinger's fantastic comedy So I'll give him a pass He played everybody

Except that little fat kid In The Nutty Professor Which is crazy He actually played that fat kid He pretended to be that fat kid Like the prestigious his whole life. Do we know if that kid's alive? I think I looked him up. His name's Reginald, which makes sense. That's awesome. Yeah. I'll bet you $500 right now that kid died. Since we're looking up

child actor, hey, that's one child actor, you know it didn't get touched. Nuddy, should I just type in Hercules? Yeah, Nuddy Professor Fat Child actor. Fat Child actor. Yeah, he either died in 2014 or he looks like a deflated whoopee cushion now. Jamal Mixon. Damn. Jamal. Yeah, that's a very good fat black kid name. Jamal Nixon.

Oh, he looks like he's still alive, I think. He's still alive. He's still pretty big. Good for him. He lost a little weight. How old is he now? 42. Well, that's long enough.

And he died. We see the Wikipedia update as you click on it. The Nixon twins shut down death rumors after Nutty Professor. What the hell? Wait, they're twins? there's two of them I guess that makes sense whose idea

Gerard was it you thought it was Teddy Ray no no I thought I was like oh they were twins in that movie I didn't know but they clearly

don't look alike so black Twitter said he died okay and they had to go on BET to be like we're still alive

and we're fat as fuck yeah they look like two bold face zeros Ariel they do look like when you suck the outer part

of a peanut M&M off. To, you know, say, yo, we're going to be the mixing twins. Damn. He's so fat and black. He's a Stephen Hawking voice. And I'll be calling each of you to kind of give you a moment to our full answer.

But you know what? I don't, you know what? I think it just happened. I swear we were just like on the center of all. I'd be a player. I swear I was only saying how I'd be a player. Damn, they've been fat and black in a lot of stuff. This is crazy.

I didn't know there was two of them. Can't believe there's still black. The world. Wait. Just standing on top of the metal. somebody you always want to have something to say you're trying to be always. So I think were... Great audio. Yeah.

Just not... Fantastic. Good job putting the phone in the cup before you press record. It says produced by Opie. At the end. Also, why is one of them 80 shades darker than the other one if they're twins?

They're lying. That doesn't make any sense. They wouldn't lie. It's... You can't understand it. A word. A word they're saying. I bet people are still fighting in the comments. But people are still

fighting at the comments. Hold on. Let me see. It's all Hercules. Hercules. They barely age. Good to see they're doing well. Yeah, I'm glad to see they're still here with us, 100 emoji. Man, these dudes just seem like your cool ass cousins that you see at the family reunion.

Man, it's funny. All the comments make it seem like you know, that they're living in a horrible neighborhood, but the neighborhood is their like bodies. I know. I can't believe they're still here, man, it's a 42. I know it's, they also have, like, such low hope for a obese black man that they're like, they're still alive. They're doing fantastic, y'all.

Yeah. They're not dead. Yeah, that is a very short filmography. They were in Moesha, good for them. What was Moesha? That was... Brandy sitcom. She played Moesha.

This was the art? Moesha, yeah. It was like a famous popular show. amongst black people. It was on UPN. We didn't watch that at all. I don't even think we got UPN growing up. Oh, Lamart Park.

That's where they found the Black Dahlia. Oh. Limer. Limer is where the Black Dahlia's head was found. Oh. Really? Is that way they turned it into a black neighborhood? It might have been.

And filmed Moesha there. Obama. The Obama Boulevard. I almost moved on to Obama Boulevard when we were looking for housing. That's awesome. Yeah, it's not really a park anymore. This used to be empty. It was like just dirt.

And they found the Black Dahlia with her shit split open and her pussy out. And her legs back behind her head and her body saw it off and her laid kind of perfectly right there. And they said, all right, put Section 8 housing here. They go, where is it? Where was she cut in twine? Put it there. But that's crazy. Moesha takes place there.

That's crazy, man. The series focuses on the life of black upper middle class family through the eyes of a typical girl named Moesha. A Saturn car salesman. Yeah, her father's a Saturn car salesman. So this was an ad for Saturn at the time. Probably. They still were a company. Probably.

It's probably one of those. Who's the guy that's a fresh prince? Quincy Jones? Yeah. It's probably one of those. His shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She went to Crenshaw High School, apparently.

Yeah, I could not tell you a single thing about this show. I never watched it, but I remember it. being a thing. There's hundreds of episodes. Yeah, it was a big deal. But it exists in a totally different planet than where we grew up. You know, this would be like, trying to, this would be like expecting black people to know what home improvement was like. This was black Riba.

Yeah. I love Riva. Remember we were at that diner in Philly in the middle of like, do you think about that sometimes? Yeah, it was a really classic morning because we were just around like, the- felt like we were in limbo. Every character, every person walked in, like, it felt like they were in, like, one of those shows in HBO all set in, like, outer Philadelphia. They were all mayor from East Town. Yeah, they had, like, a little shitty old TV, like the DVD player TV, with the DVD player in it, and they were playing old episodes of Reba.

And there were just these old classic ladies coming up to us and filling up our coffee. I think changing the DVDs is when episodes would end, yeah. Yeah, and you and I were, you were just eating so much. It was crazy how much you were eating. You had, like, biscuits and great. You had, like, chicken-fried steak and waffles. They were impressed by you. Well, you ordered me butter chicken at 4 a.m.

And we had also eaten a bunch of food six hours earlier in the middle of the night. Yeah. Yeah, they were right. We got to go back to Philly. Yeah. Philly was great. Yeah, I'm surprised they liked Riba in Philly. It was interesting.

It's more of a country show. Yeah, exactly. But we were kind of, I don't know, we were in, like, an industrial. Yeah, kind of like a shaburby. industrially yeah yeah type area but yeah philly was great i like i like how i'm saying everyone in philly yeah kyle ranhouse square was great loved that place it was fantastic yeah the goat ran house my favorite bar i've ever been in the goat ran house yeah but didn't we try to go to that one bar that was like it was like a historical i mean it felt like it was like benjamin franklin was upstairs or whatever it was

too packed though yeah it was too busy but it was that's so cool about the place that you could drink inside or eat inside of a place that was in, like, you know. You can get roofied where they sign the Declaration of Independence. Exactly. Exactly. It's an historical place. It's a very historic. I've heard a lot of history is there. The Liberty Bell. The Liberty Bell. That big, beautiful bell. Dad meat. Of course. Of course. All of the great Americans. Franklin.

Dad meet. Little stinkers. Mm-hmm. The Founding Fathers, I call them. The Fathers who podcast. The Founding Fathers. Butterly and Rainey, the founding fathers of the Philly podcast scene. Oh, so on Tuesday, if you're listening to this, January 6th, whatever day that is, I'll be in Austin. Yeah. And I'm trying to hang out with those guys, too.

But Velveeta Room, come out January 6th, the funny day. You'll be... You can't forget it because it's the funny day. Valvita Room, there's tickets Ben Avery. Live. Yeah, and you'll be hanging out and doing funny stuff and whatnot. Of course. Of course. Yeah.

But you might go see a couple of those guys. Maybe stop in. Yeah, I might. Strap a be a big vest to myself. Sure, get kicked out of the mothership at the door. Yeah. Get turned away at the door of the mothership. I might do that scene from Miller's Crossing outside the mothership.

Well, with all the cops? The Sam Ramey cop that went up. Well, do you remember when the guy's coming? He has the Tommy gun. Yeah, yeah. He's just spinning in a wheel. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Remember it's spinning in a wheel because he's, he got a shot on the foot.

And he starts shooting himself through the foot as it's spinning. Yeah, there's so many slapsticks. seeds of that movie. It's a perfect movie. Yeah, it's really great, yeah. But you'll be doing that to Joe Rogan's home club. You'll be sending footage to Elephant Graveyard. Yeah, you'll be, you'll be like a CIA agent down there. That would be hilarious. Ben's got like my microfiche cameras in his foot sole, taking pictures. You have a colonoscopy, colonoscopy camera with you. Yeah, you're doing a fake glimpse because you're pressing on a camera button in your foot. Just taking picture after picture.

of a camera that's lodged in your ass. How has someone not come out on Kill Tony? And, like, it's crazy. The cast of characters they have up there, they've already interviewed a guy who killed somebody. You think something insane would have happened. You think something terrible. And God forbid, obviously.

I'm completely joking. God forbid that happened. But I think what probably happens is most people who are on the show plan to do something like that. And then when they're in line, they're like, well, I could, I could legitimately, I could be making $40,000 a month if I do it as well. If I get the joke book. Yeah, and then he's like, he gets called.

He throws his AK-47 in a trash bag. I want to see one guy get up there, and he's just like, I'm just here to rape the waitress. Whoever that, what's that lady's name with the big pig tits? I don't know. They call her Kill Tony, Big Titt lady. That's her full name. Kill Tony, Big Tit, lady. Who knows?

I want to go to, I think it's called Chi QI. What is that? To Chinese place. They have really good dumplings. Okay. In Austin, yeah. Miss those. umplings and i want to go to that uh uh yogurt shop that uh where the guy he killed everybody

oh yeah i heard they and i heard because they were the guy was mad about the topping selection it was david luke it's much better now i've said this before it was david it was the night david they ran out of toppings yeah he thought it was ice cream from a distance he got mad he goes what is this he goes he tells me this probiotics in this and then he just yeah he just opened fire That is crazy that whole yogurt shop place It's not there anymore It's like O'Reilly's auto parts or something Was there a series of murders out there?

There was a big shooting there There was a chain of frozen yogurt places, yeah And one of them one night All four young girls working there Were all lined up and shot And the place was burned down And they couldn't find it You start laughing

You start cackling Yeah Well I was seeing Jason's gears turd Because I mean he doesn't care at all You throw it on him No, he gives it a performative Jesus And you can see He's just saying that

Because he hasn't thought of a joke yet You're right I'm truly the scumbag of the show So I was watching his eyes move from side to side Oh yeah I truly Do a roll-in-ex of bars What is he supposed to sincerely respond to that? Yeah, come on

Fuck them! What the hell? You're driving bottles every week Yeah, no, I truly I don't care about anybody dying. I've been watching the Kim Burns-Vietnam War on my phone while I drive back and forth from San Diego

and they'll just be like, 20 millions of millions were killed and I'm just like whatever. Dude, you have to drive up here every like two days now. Are you going to... I did fucking four drives up here and back in like seven days and it's fucking killing me. It's brutal. Well, the kids love the presents.

Yeah, no, the big fans. I got a Ben's son, something he can slap around. He really enjoys that. Yeah. And I got his daughter on microphone so she can start podcasting. Nice. Beautiful. Yeah.

It's fun when you have nieces and nephews. Yeah, you can actually get a, yeah, excited to give them stuff. I got my son at Drew Lane onesie. I'm making him go to sleep listening to Drew Lane every night. Only the best. Drew Lane, everybody. Go but listen to the Drew Lane show. How was your Christmas?

How was the New Year's with the in-laws there? no they flew back oh okay interesting but that's the whole sag is over it's done what's done is done it's finished

yeah it's finished what did they what did they eat their last day they were like I'm trying to think it was the last day did you catch them packing a bunch of powdered sugar into a carry on

yeah like blow like the movie blow Paul Rubens is there He's like, this is some good shit She drank one of my Cokes And then put it back in the fridge And I was like, oh, you know And she goes, it's just too sweet for me

And I'll turn, I'm like her dinner table It looks like Scarface's desk Yeah There's so much sugar They involved in it I thought it was gonna be some insane shit Like they're just so much sweeter The day after

You gotta let it firm Yeah, they go down into your basement And pull out a nest They blow off dust from an old Coca-Cola bottle It's like bolognaes, which I don't know what that is, but it's like that. It's like Bolognais, who I think just retired from S&L. I think that's Bowingang. It's like mayonnaise, bowling yams.

Yeah, I mean, the amount of, I go, you made pumpkin bread or something. It's delicious. And then she goes, thanks, I didn't put any pumpkin in it. So what I do is I go to Crippy Cremes and I get the pumpkin. Flavored donut. I asked for orange. Orange color. I go,

give me the orange color. I go, oh, my favorite order of Cripe Cremes, I get the Diadronus number four to seven in the five-gallon drum,

Sweetheart. We're literally keeping this going into the Patreon right now, but Patreon. Don't you like my chine? Yes. Okay, beautiful.

Transitioning now. Yeah. My chine. My chink. Don't you like my chine, mine. Young Gucci in mine and I'm popping off the chai,

man. And my chit Jacob, it's so fruited, call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chine mine? Young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chine mind. And my Jacob is so fruited, call me Gucci mine, know you call me Gucci, Gucci. I came to the club, just to fuck my chine line, catch another charge, and I'm going to the chine gang. Oh, I think I'm icing, sold a hundred dial, e-balloning sex, and white.

Don't you see how bright it is? See these girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is. These girls they be choosing. The islands be so sparkingly they think my chain was moving. My chain is out the chain. Stack to me some money and budget off and bought a chain. Check the way my chain hang. Gucci, I don't gain, bang.

All I do is chains. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chain, man. Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain, mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chain, my chain

Don't you like my chine mine Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci Gucci you be shy Gucci you be shining man

Don't turn me on home Tell me who you're diamond man My girlfriend acting line She say I'm acting different Just because I got this chain Haters get your hater on When they see them yellow stones holler at you later on

My chain hang to my shoe sprang Like my watching wine But I know you love my chain My chain hang to my dingaline I do my dog thine When I'm in the club mine When you hurt so icing Your daughter Gucci mine

I got that stupid mind So I bought a stupid chine My chain Don't you like my chine mine Y'all goochie mine And I'm popping off the chine Mine And my Jacob is so fruited

Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chine My chine Don't you like my chine mine Y'n't Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chine mine And my Jacob is so fruited

Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My first chain I had to rob four Jesus peace yellow diamond sitting all in it I'm on some slick brick shit 2006 mr T diamond so bright ain't no way you can't see the G look I don't dance I just lean with it my piece sick Gary Robert trying to leave with it I got that New York fitted on full suit dicky on Gucci link chain blue stones in a nigger charm now watch me do it do it with no hands traps when he craned on that bezel and that band

Because I'm the man I'm the man Got no wife But my chain Got my girlfriend My chain Don't you like my chine My chute mine

And I'm popping off the chine Mine And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chine My chine Don't you like my chine mine

Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chine mine And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine I know you call me Gucci Gucci. Thank you.