lemonparty - 168: Are We There Yet?
Episode Date: January 13, 2026Are We There Yet? | lemonparty 168 Ben recaps the trip to Austin Texas with Conner and going on Matt and Shane etc, Devan talks the soccer mom and protests, they float theories on Venezuelan poop gun...s, Greenland takeover, and figure out the GREATEST biopic of our time starring Paul Giamatti—FLOYD. this week on lemonparty. bonus episodes https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty https://www.lemonparty.life/ https://lucy.co code lemon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Yeah, it feels like the first time I was listening to Astral Weeks, like kind of that type of vibe.
Yeah.
We were talking about the new Jeff Dye album, by the way.
Jeff Dye's new special.
Wow.
Look at it go.
We weren't talking about Cameron Winner for the 12th week in a row.
We would never do that.
Cheers, Ben.
Cheers to OPE.
Cheers.
Cheers.
To Matt and Shane.
To Madden Shane.
To Madden Shane.
Ben went in the belly of the beast.
Yep.
Ben did the worst buddy movie of all time.
Can you turn the microphone up a little bit, by the way?
The master volume?
There you go.
That's right up there.
That's good.
That better?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kevin Isso walks into the green room the day after he goes, man, I haven't been called a monkey
that much in all my life.
I got to say, I was heart-warmed by the comments because I was like,
wow, they're the same as ours.
Well, for a second when he said that, I was like, did I call him?
Yeah.
That's what he forgot about.
Did I relapse on the ship?
He blacked out.
Yeah.
I didn't do that, did I?
They pressed Stop Recurring, you go, you were really chipping out there.
He's a nice guy.
I met him and everybody and hung out with the Adamegit at the mothership.
We had fun all week.
It was a good time.
Saw everybody.
Nice.
Ran into Brian Callan.
So I don't like a good trip.
Yeah.
What did he do?
Did a 180.
Did a 180.
Right so it could rape you easier.
Should we stop talking to you like this?
No, it doesn't matter.
They don't listen to the shows.
Obviously, they add me on.
The more you get into comedy, you can't be honest anymore.
Yeah.
You just say the word and we'll start.
We'll do it for you, though.
We didn't go.
Austin kicks ass, actually.
I like it.
Every time I there, I have a great time.
It's an amazing place.
I have a great time.
They fuck with us publicly now, so I think it's.
It's a good city.
Yeah, it's nice.
You get recognized.
It makes you feel good.
The food is kind of disgusting.
You can rape all the women you want.
It's a great city.
Everyone is dying rapidly.
But it's fun there.
No, it's like tombstone, but it's great.
Yeah.
You're getting in shootouts randomly.
It's cool.
I get it.
I'm glad you went.
It was good.
Someone said I was on Matt and Shane like I was Nick Covington.
Is that what that guy's name?
The guy that smiled with the MAGA hat on at the DC thing.
I forget what the kid.
a high school with a kid named Nick Covington, I think he's in prison.
For killing an Indian.
Also a racist white guy.
You, okay, I know who you're talking about.
Remember the Covington kid?
The kid on the mile.
But the MAGA hats on.
But the Washington Post lied that Native American guy did not, he was not a veteran.
He fixed like refrigerators.
He also got in the kid's face.
And that's why the kid was smiling.
No, fuck that guy.
Yeah, fuck that guy.
That Native American.
He's an immigrant.
Yeah.
But like.
Get here the right way.
Deport him.
Get here the right way.
Have your grandparents.
immigrants immigrate here in the 1700s asshole.
But it's like Devin pointed out with the Duke Lacrosse kids.
It was proven that they didn't rape.
You call them the rape.
You're always a rapist.
You go the Duke LaCross rapists.
You know that was proven wrong.
You go right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they rape.
Yeah.
No, remember they all raped that black prostitute.
Yeah, they raped that black prostitute.
She lied.
Yeah.
You go remember the racist Covington.
They weren't racist.
Mm-mm.
Right.
They weren't.
They didn't do it.
They bought those.
He just smiled.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
In the face of a man that, uh, you know.
stealing the government's money for casinos.
And it turned out to actually be the black Israelites' fault the whole time.
That's right.
It was all the black.
It wasn't even the Indian.
Black Israelites are like the Don King of Race Wars.
They rule.
That guy, they started that and then just wandered off.
They go, I am the blackest Jews of all time.
So what do you say, boys?
We're going to spend more time in Austin.
I said a heaven party to the moon based.
I did ridleys.
I did dad meet.
Tommy and Chris weren't there.
Can't do that.
Unfortunately,
couldn't hook up with the big Mike Rainey.
He was in Philly.
Mike's coming out here.
Everybody's there.
He asked me to be on his show out here.
I was hanging out at the mothership.
Lemaire was calling you guys bitch asses.
He has such a way with words, Lemaire.
Real Shakespeare, that guy.
He was like, call up Devin and J.
Tell them bitchasses to turn up.
He said, tell them to.
show up right now.
No, you said us...
From California?
Yeah.
From the state of California?
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, tell him right now.
You sent us a video of him calling us bitch ashes.
I thought it was a dirty Chinese man for a second.
He was so high, and I love Lemaire.
I love Lemaire.
He was so high, his eyes were completely shut.
Yeah.
He's like, J. Dem, bitch, and...
I heard he was upset at you, but he was it...
Yeah, so Lemaire saw me.
Was it that fucking account on Twitter that looks like you that says they're you?
Hmm.
They came up to me
And, well, they've been running that account for three years now.
At this point, I'm very impressed by the bet.
It's amazing.
They, the consistency.
Many comedians have been mad at me because of this Twitter account.
But Lemaire came up to me.
People think it's you all the time.
Yep.
Lemaire said, first of all, I want to apologize because I fucking, I hated you and I was
ranting about you and telling, like, because of this Twitter account.
I guess he was tweeting at Lemaire that he sucks ass and should kill himself.
And Lemaire took the bait and thought it was me.
And Lemaire is like, it's Ben, just telling me.
should kill myself.
In between washing his baby.
In between me giving my children a bath.
You're going, wait.
Yeah, you're going dinner in a second, honey.
I have to tweet at somebody in my industry.
What if I am running that account?
Oh, this is your, you're lying by telling the truth.
You're a Kaiser-Sosius sociopath.
Wow.
You're reading Scuppers, Scuars the sailor dog to your daughter
and you're telling Lemaire that he sucks.
Yeah, hiding the phone.
behind the buck.
So he thought that for a while.
I love him.
Yeah, he apologized to me for how mad he got inside his own mind.
Was that why Lamar?
About it.
They're so funny.
He went into the shining in his brain.
Was that why he went off on New York comedy?
Or was he just playing around?
Was that over you?
Oh, was it?
He was going off on New York comedy during New York.
No, I know.
But I don't know.
I thought maybe it sparked it or something.
Maybe he thinks New York's in California.
He thinks it's in Los Angeles.
I don't know.
I loved it that I loved when Lamer was getting drunk throughout New Year.
Talking shit about.
You love him talking shit about him every time.
I was stoke in the fire.
I said,
I said keep it up, man.
And it got a bunch of likes.
And everyone acted like I was fucking with Lemaire.
And I was being completely sincere.
I was like,
Lemaire, please have another drink.
Name names.
You're like respect.
Name names.
Get into it.
Some other like, like, some like skank fest lady, I keep seeing.
Like, she keeps trying to like talk about it.
with him and Lamar, I can't tell if Lamar knows her,
or Le Mare's just actually being an asshole to her.
She said, she wrote like a tweet where she, like,
she was trying to make a joke about, like,
the dyke that got shot in the face by eyes the other day.
Yeah, yeah.
She told some story, like, one time that happened,
something like that happened to me,
and then this and that,
and then Lemaire comment under,
he goes, great story.
I laughed for like 10 minutes of the American kids.
Was he being genuine?
I don't think so.
I think he hates her.
He goes, great story.
I love the idea that he got so high.
He's like, that's a great story.
That he comments, great story.
It had to be not sincere.
Anyway.
It was a great trip.
Let me our rules.
No, we're going back.
Great trip.
Did Pendejo time with Jake Rhodes show?
I'm not going unless Kevin Issa is there.
I got it.
I was like, really?
I'm paired with Kevin?
That was cosmic justice for you.
And Kevin's like a big TV guy.
He's friends with Michael Che.
I have no idea Kevin lived in Austin.
I thought he was like a New York guy.
Nice guy.
Yeah.
Fun guy.
Yeah, the comments all agree.
And he's beloved.
The comments.
They love them.
Yeah.
The comments, I tuned into the comments, and it looked like that part of a biography of Dr. Martin Luther King.
When they cut to a white guy and a crew cut, screaming something.
The comments were insane.
But in a weird way, I thought that they had different people.
And I'm like, oh, these are the same types of psychos.
We were texting each other.
We were like, oh, isn't that great?
We're not the only, the only people with a psycho fan base.
Yeah, W is a W boys.
W is the W.
Doesn't matter how you get it in the end zone.
I think they, they, I mean, weren't you guys supposed to, like, defend things?
You know, it's like a game show kind of.
Yeah.
So I think everyone was, like, acting like he genuinely was coming out there to say that.
That is kind of a thing.
Wasn't his side supposed to pretend?
Well, I think.
You guys were assigned people to defend, yeah.
People are kind of literalists where if you say anything tongue and cheek, they think you actually.
I think one time on this show, I made a bunch of people about on the Patreon because I asked if the utter of a cow was a titty or a vagina.
And they go, it's real.
They go, Ben doesn't, yeah, I know.
Eat Ben really thinks an utter as a vagina.
Happens all the time.
You say things to try to be funny that are like, you act stupid on purpose.
And then the people go, like, thank God he said that, because I feel better about being.
smarter than him.
No, people think I'm gonna like,
I'm so dumb.
Like, I drown both my children
and like, they think,
I know.
People are worried about.
They think I can't tie my shoes.
They think you just,
you forgot you were recording
and you admitted to wanting to kill your wife.
You mean about the nightmare
I had on the Patreon?
I saw some.
One nightmare a year.
It's funny to admit that publicly.
Yeah, I know.
You had a nightmare about killing your wife.
It's very funny.
It sounds very funny.
Who else is doing that?
Who else is out there doing that?
Who's making that art?
Where can you go to listen to a man admit his subconscious has been kind of itching to kill his wife?
So I went to, well, I've been listening to the Shining soundtrack over and over.
Oh, yeah, we figured that out.
We got it in a car afterwards, and the Shining soundtrack was playing.
Ben, maybe this is why.
And you were like, in the dream, you were like, these David Kerradiens keep chanting, whoa.
And in the song.
In the Shining soundtrack, it's people going, oh, it's literally this.
I've been listening to the Shining soundtrack too much.
Yeah.
You actually can't put things together.
It's crazy.
You had no clue that I was coming from.
You know, it's funny.
So I had to share a hotel room with our friend Connor McNutt from Hate Watch.
Sure.
And on the first night, we're, like, going to bed.
And Connor, like, turns to me.
He goes, I've had a nightmare every night for nine nights in a row.
Like a vicious nightmare.
Jesus.
And I was like, really?
And then he, like, told me every single nightmare he's had for, like, night straight nights.
It was the most horrifying thing I've ever heard.
Unbelievable.
And then I saw him put his little, like, sleep.
cover thing on his eyes and I'm like he's going right to hell
very good and he woke up in the morning
and it's just like another night nightmare it's like yeah
he's like I have
I had this crazy nightmare that we were in this hotel
and you raped my mouth in my sleep it's so funny
it's so funny to tell someone you're going to bed
to have a nightmare you go anyway get some rest
it is so funny
going to get raped by the devil
God is amazing that way
The one time we need rest, he's like torturing us.
Yeah, what if the worst thing happened?
Yeah.
I think Ben triggered me because I've been having nightmares like every day this week.
Oh, I feel bad.
I don't have nightmares very often at all.
You told me that.
I've been pretty good because I've been doing well mentally.
I think this has been a tough week for me, just with shit going on in my life.
You told me that the next...
What's going on with you?
The next night, I...
He's trans.
I'm trans.
You're truned out.
I finally truned out.
You watch too much porn and now you're trans.
I was actually, I was really mad because I finally, I watched...
I clicked on one more video, and I was like, I'm actually trans now.
Ben was right.
Jayes is moving to Minnesota.
You made it to the end of...
I go, I have to become trans and get shot in the face.
Jace wants to be a dyke.
Porn is like a video game, and if you make it to the end of the game, you become trans and you move to Minnesota.
And you move to Minnesota.
Yeah, I was doing the Mario animation with the peace sign, but now I'm wearing a dress and my cock is falling out.
And I'm going, I can't wait, dude.
Fuck children in bathrooms.
I'm true, God.
But you told me that, and then the next night I had a dream that every male relative in my family, I was fighting them, like, physically and screaming at them.
And then my girlfriend the next day was like, how did you sleep?
I was like, fine.
I had a dream that I killed my dad with my bare hands, but it's kind of fun.
When you have, when you sleep and you don't have a, you don't remember any dream or nightmare, it is kind of like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'd rather almost have a.
nightmare because at least it means like my brain did something while I was asleep you know. I kind of like it
because I've been doing so mentally well that I'll have like the next night I had a dream that there was a
bunch of sheep drowning in a river because they were locked in a big shipping crate and I freed them and
then I woke up and I was like I still I still got it yeah I'm still a little fucked up mentally
it was a nice reminder. I think it's kind of it's it's weird when a dream affects like half your day
oh yeah where you wake up and the real in the dream you kind of are unsure if that
was the reality of you're, like, you're kind of still living with it.
Yeah.
You know?
Like that one dream, I got murdered by a black guy in my dream.
And then I felt like I got murdered the whole next day.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just flinching it black people my entire day.
Yeah.
It was just a homeless guy by my corner.
I was like, huh.
But yes.
Productive trip.
I did every podcast in Austin.
Next week, Minneapolis.
Let's do it.
Let's go to Minneapolis.
There's a lot of hot stuff going on there.
Let's put some bumper stickers on an old civic and block traffic.
Let's put a weird little bini on and get it blown off.
Yep.
Let's go make some ice officers a scare.
Do you think there's like guys in like alligator alcatraz that are like,
these white bitches are crazy?
She like tried to like run him over and shit.
You think there's like a guy, he's like, I'm like a rapist drug, drug cartel guy.
His white bitches are crazy.
I just moved it because I hate America.
And I wanted to take over a hotel.
He's like, that's crazy because I'm like smoggingly fans on into the country.
But I didn't like kind of drive away slowly.
That's crazy.
I like rape for breakfast.
And these white women are like getting shot in the face for me.
kidding
of course of course
but uh yeah they're they're all over now
now it's like you see that that lady got shot
and now every day there's a new video
of a white woman blocking traffic
in protest
with like an REI jacket on
did you see it did me
yeah they're going to Eddie Bauer
they go I got a big protest coming up
like I dare you to blow my
die cat off
I dare you
I dare you
it was I did warm my heart that
Did you see that woman who was like, I don't think we should cry tears over her because she was white and everybody's like, you should kill yourself.
You're a fucking retard.
And I was like, it is woke two-pointed.
It is.
It's a Michaela Brown.
It's a Georgina Floyd now.
It's kind of nice.
It's refreshing.
It's refreshing.
Yeah, now it's our turn.
Exactly.
To get murdered by the police.
Exactly.
Do we confirm if she's by or is she gay?
She's gay.
She's gay.
But how does she have kids if she was gay?
I think her gay lover was like putting sex.
cigarettes out on the kid and shit.
You know, they were just trying to be men.
She's doing man shit. They were in the
cosplaying as like Jake LaMotta.
They get drunk. They can use the kids for their pit bull.
Start making them fight each other.
And thank God, an ice officer
who looked like shit got really scared.
Yep. And turned her head into Swiss cheese.
I mean, he was justified.
She was driving at him.
Yeah. She was going to maybe
three miles an hour. It's
horrifying. You know,
the shot through the windshield
I get but what I
really understood was the shots
into the window when he
finished her. Yeah when he was
the side shots to the side of her head.
When he's like I still got two
I got two left in here. When her head was on the steering
wheel like when you kill somebody in GTA
and the car goes into a pole
and it's making that honking noise.
You gotta make sure to blow the side of their head off.
You got to get to that stem.
Because he was worried she was about to write a really
annoying tweet. My favor
was he, he like literally blew her head off
like five times in a row and then he goes, fucking
bitch. Fucking bitch.
Yep. Meanwhile, it's like,
for the safety of everybody, it's like now
there's just a car on the loose with a dead woman
driving it.
It's flying down the street.
Dude, just imagine, you're in a stressful situation,
sure, but you like literally open a woman's head
five times in a round. You go, what a fucking
bitch. Fuck her. He's got to
be so angry. It wasn't like a minority.
Do you think they make fun of you
Like in law enforcement
They're like, you killed a white bitch
Are you kidding me?
But she is gay, right?
Does that not count?
Nah, that actually...
Like being gay as like oppression
That actually makes her wider, sorry.
Like they like, yeah
Like fucking beanie boy wonder dykes
Were like chained to ships
And brought here.
But with the little cow rennows thing
Where people were bad
And we found out like all three guys
Happen to be paddifiles
Yeah, no,
He's actually the most progressive man of all time, Kyle Redden House.
He killed, like, a bunch of, like, white menophiles.
What a luck of the Irish moment.
Like, oh, everybody I killed was a pedophile.
Happened to be.
Just happen to be the worst guy you've ever met.
Yeah, who was also a pedophile.
Just a guy that had, like, C-S bag.
You shot him in the head, and then, yeah, C-Sam fell out of his pocket.
It went everywhere.
Like, he went, like a C-Sam blockbuster.
Yeah.
And he had it in a baggie.
Yeah.
He got charged for not returning to C-Sexam.
He was into vintage child porn.
See, this is why I...
Oh, at conventions.
Yeah, he had like an...
Do you have any 72?
He buys records.
But see, this is why I...
Do you have a little Debra from 72?
I step back. I've been retweeting pictures of birds all week.
I step back.
He got it.
Because I don't know what this Renee lady has been doing.
Renee Good.
Renee Nicole Good, I believe.
Yeah, no good, more like it.
Yeah, how about that?
How about that?
She's a terrorist.
She's a terrorist.
She's a terrorist.
They need to be handled
Mm-hmm
And thank God
JD's hopping on the timeline
To be the gayest man who ever lived
Yeah
Reddit is down the hole
Into the left sir
Yeah
His Reddit ass posting
As he's just posting
Actually, dykes aren't people
Apparently Trump hasn't been seen with him
In like months
I think Trump thinks he's a fag
I don't think Trump likes him at all
He hates him actually
Yeah
He didn't know his wife was in the end
Mm-hmm
Trump's pissed about that
He's like your wife's Indian
You've got an Apple watch
You fucking suck
You fucking suck
You're fat
I hate fat people
fat people are evil. You lost weight and you still look fat and ugly? You should kill yourself.
Trump is the type of guy that he can call a guy fat that isn't as fat as him and it is legitimate.
Yes. Trump are making a good point here. You are fat. You get out of the room. Trump is not
spiritually fat. That's the biggest problem. That's the thing. Yes, Chase. Thank you. No, he's not
fat. He's not spiritually fat. He's a big fat, big fat fatty, but he's not spiritually fat. That's so
true. What is, but he loves the candy. He loves the McDonald's. He's not spiritually fat. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Listen, I'll use
myself an example, he eats
the candy and the fast food out in the
open, which is not a fat thing to do.
If you're fat, you hide it.
He even does the dog. You go on the show, you're like, look at me, I eat
all the Coke. Meanwhile, I'm over, I'm fucking a
cheeseburger behind a parking lot.
Yeah. I'm eating cheeseburgers like I'm
Tiger Woods in 2007.
Yeah. I'm eating at Perkins.
You're meeting a cheeseburger at a hotel
3 a.m.
Yeah. I'm calling a cheeseburger and be like,
hey, could you delete those voicemails?
You're on Craigslist, looking for cheeseburgers.
Here in the classifieds.
There's a cheeseburger with a bikini on.
It's 3 am.
and I push a club sandwich down onto my cock in the parking lot of a Perkins.
But Trump, because he's not spiritually fat, he eats all the shitty burgers and the shitty candy.
And he calls it poison.
And he openly talks about Diet Coke.
I've never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
Great line.
Great joke for a pedophile.
Not spiritually fat.
J.D., on the other hand.
J.D. sucks.
Used to be a real big lollipop head.
Jady sucks.
Lost a little bit of weight, still looks like shit,
and is now trying to, like, be all, you know, he's got the Apple Watch on.
He's a, like, health and fitness guy, but no.
Yeah.
No.
You're a fat retard.
Yeah, he sucks ass.
He sucks ass.
I don't need, and all the protests, too.
I think we kind of figured out the trick, though.
It's like...
What?
Uh-huh.
They just got to kill white women.
Yeah.
Because when...
I haven't been keeping up with Devon.
What's going on?
Is it escalated?
I have it really?
I haven't really kept up with it much either.
I know there was, like, protest, but you could tell their heart's not in it.
Because it's not, it's not.
Because it's not black.
It's a, it's a, yeah, it's a, I keep, I kept, uh.
It's a beanie lesbian.
So Eddington theory is still true.
Eddington is happening, will happen for the end, until the end of our lives.
To the end of our times, yeah.
People have no idea there in Eddington.
Eddington is the most important movie ever made.
It's the most, it will always be available.
Truly.
Eddington will happen every, every week.
Every day.
Every day.
For the rest of our lives.
Her saying, I won't cry for this white woman who got
shot in the face five times. She doesn't know how to like articulate. She's just like, I actually
though, I should kill myself. They're retarded. I have no idea why Minnesota is this place
that has all this either. Yeah, Minneapolis. Why is it Minneapolis? Dude, it was a block away from
like George Floyd Square. It's always happening. Which I do not call it that, by the way.
No. I refuse. I just call it the Black Square.
I thought that's what we were supposed to post. Is that what we call it? That big black square.
I wonder if the Chinese guy is still, remember because they got a Chinese guy too?
And I think people were kind of like, don't do the Chinese guy.
The Chinese cop?
Because there was a Chinese cop who just watched.
He was like squatting, smoking a cigarette.
Behind Derek Chauvin.
Yeah, yeah.
While Derek Chauvin did it, the Chinese guy was sort of off to the side, like just giving a thumbs up.
He was like, I'm going to cook and eat him afterwards.
You just see George Floyd hanging in a Chinese window.
Like a big duck.
Yeah, like a big duck.
Yeah, rooster Cochburn wakes up and shoves George Floyd's body out of the way.
God damn it.
Ching?
What the hell, Ming?
Ming, get these dead blacks out of my goddamn hammock.
Well, Matt and Shane was great.
I'm glad we have new fans.
Kevin Isles tuning into this episode.
A man who now follows me.
I wonder why he treated you like, you were racist the whole episode.
Maybe he just did research before the show started.
That's why he was going to keep back.
I'm sure.
I'm sure he was aware a little bit.
You think so?
I don't know.
You said things that weren't even racist, but he was just on, he was just like, this white boy being racist.
This white boy crazy.
Like, I could just tell him as it.
You did, like, a joke about, like, if you were a cop and you were nervous, you would just unload on people.
And in his mind, he's just like, this guy's just talking about killing black people right next to me.
And you're like, yeah.
And that's not what you were saying?
No.
But I could tell.
He made, like, a face.
And I was like, oh, yeah, he just thinks Ben's talking about killing black people.
Well, I think the problem is Ben lives in white defiance, which a lot of black people did not take well.
Yeah.
What's that mean?
What's that mean?
We're just like, I'm just having fun.
I don't care.
I'm not living.
I'm an equal opportunity joke guy.
You're like, I'm not living in shame.
I'm just doing my thing.
Everyone can get these jokes.
Mm-hmm.
Lamerica get these jokes.
Everyone can get these motherfucking jokes.
Shaltzy with the Hesie Fade.
The Hesie Fade.
Wait, is that Andrew Shultz?
I think he says shit like that.
Hez-Fade.
And then I think Akash is like, everyone can get these jokes.
Mm-hmm.
My wife's getting fucked right next to me right now.
Everybody can fuck my wife.
Everyone fuck my wife.
Everyone fuck my wife.
Yo, what are you two do?
Y'all fuck my wife.
Everybody in the club fuck my wife.
Everybody in the club fuck my wife.
Everybody in the club, fuck my wife.
Everybody in the club.
Coming on my wife.
Akash, it still's not going away.
Is it not?
No.
Sad.
I watched, we all tuned into the...
Are you serious?
It's not going away?
It's never going to go away.
I thought the wife went on Flagrant too and was like,
we're all good.
I was lying about getting...
But Black America watched that like it was the moon landing.
It'll be.
You had old heads tuned into an old black and white TV being like, what a fucking bitch.
What a tribe walking away from the TV.
Triflin ass.
Yep.
Bitchland ass.
Yep.
There's black reaction channels on YouTube, but it's like 95-year-old guys with ring lights.
Oh, in the black community, that's 49ers.
That's Gold Rush guys.
Guys have started up, half of black people have started up YouTube channels to talk about his war.
John Lee Hooker was like, like,
That motherfucker is a cock.
Yeah, Arl Burnside.
Arnardonsides.
Yeah.
God damn it.
God damn it.
You all hear about that a car.
I'm going to take a break from throwing liquor bottles at my son to go talk about his cuck wife.
Let Arcau's wife ride.
Damn, so his career is over then.
No, he'll be, I mean, as long as Andrew keeps supporting him of shit, it'll be fine.
You can be a locale forever.
It'll be a comment forever.
Like anything he does, people will say something.
something about that.
Yeah.
I think.
It's tough.
I mean,
like if you're doing a stand-up show
and everybody watching.
How do you do crowdwork on couples?
Yeah.
When you have,
when everyone knows that about it.
He's got to become a domestic abuser.
I think he needs to reestablish the dominance over his wife.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe fake a thing where she has like a black eye.
Right.
TikTok live.
Get a little TMZ getting pulled out by the cops type of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they might have to stage something.
Because obviously if he tried to punch her,
he'd break his own hand.
Sure.
Well,
he would even break his wrist.
He would try to punch her, and another guy's cock would get in the way.
Before he could get to her face.
Trying to punch his wife is, like, running through the hurdle drill and football with all the little pylon things.
Huge penises he's running through.
Try to get to his way.
So, but you're trying to throw bodies off of your wife who's getting fucked so you can, like, land to her.
Yeah.
The guy turning your wife into a shish kebubab.
Like, hey, man, that's not cool.
We're all going to kick your ass now.
She has a corner man in the house that just wipes up cum shots.
cut me
cut me
her pussy's all
I kind of just
imagine William H. Macy
and like
buggy nights
yeah
wife's laying there
with a fucking ass
in her cock
yeah
but Akash kills himself
he holds the gun
sideways
at the New Year's Eve party
he doesn't kills himself
in New Year's Eve
but he's like
I'm still like black and shit
I'm black
I'm black
I'm black
I'm black
I'm black
yeah
you see
he kills himself
I'm still black.
I'm still black.
Yeah, he gets in a car to drive by himself.
He shoots out the car and tries to run in front of the bullet.
Yeah, it's his blood hitting the wall, but then you see Andrew run in and be like,
Ash!
My fucker!
No, but it is a tragedy.
It's horrible. It's horrible. It's happened to him.
Do we know the ice guy who shot that white lady in the head?
I think they've identified him.
I don't know, though, much about him.
Other than that, he's a hero, and his life was in danger.
And he was protecting himself against the domestic terrorist.
He saw a beanie.
He thought it was a beaner.
It was the domestic terrorist.
That woman was a domestic terrorist.
Apparently, she was, like, a part of a group that just goes in, like, blocks traffic and stuff.
I'm sure she was so annoying.
Sure.
I'm sure she sucked ass.
The video wasn't insane, though.
I'm like, wow, you really just blew her head off.
Many times.
Like, a bunch.
We also all saw the original viewer.
were like, that's terrible.
And they're like, don't worry.
Here's the body cam.
And then it's like him walking up to her.
And she's like, I'm not mad at you, dude.
You like killed a lady who's last word.
Like, I'm not mad at you.
I mean, even though it was like sarcastic, I think.
I just love that it dropped like it was like a Frank Ocean album.
Yeah.
Like, here's an album and a visual.
You know who got her killed was her like in the wife.
The other lady in the video.
She told her to like drive off.
Oh, she was in the car?
No, she was outside.
She was trying to get in the car for a second.
Yeah.
Her wife, I think.
Oh, the lady that was filming?
There was another lady.
There was another lesbian I saw.
At the beginning of the camera.
Yeah, at the beginning of the video.
What she doing outside of the car?
It was just too...
They were in the middle of a domestic violence issue.
Yeah, it was...
Because they are lesbians.
It just happened.
What if she was trying to run over her wife?
In her defense.
It was the amount of bumper stickers on the car.
I was like, wow.
What were we working with?
We got like a coexist.
Probably.
What's on the back?
There's a lot of that.
Keep Tahoe Blue, probably.
I'd rather be walking my dogs
some shit like that.
Sure.
I love vest.
I love big, stupid vests.
I love big vests and not getting my head blown off
for no reason.
Ironic bumper sticker.
Jay's, we do, for I forget, we gotta do
advertising.
They said, make sure to read it after we talk about
the bitch gunner head blown off.
Yeah, who cares.
Sad, sad, but you know.
It's horrible, it's a tragedy.
It's sad, but she's a white like,
so we don't care.
It's a comedy show.
It's a comedy show.
It had to happen.
No, it's horrible, though.
It was a murder.
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Back to the show.
Interesting.
A lot of these shows, they do four ads.
You got to sit through.
They do ads.
We don't make any money.
Seven minutes into the show.
I emailed our ad later.
I said enough.
There's too much.
Enough is enough.
I get annoyed at the ads.
Hey, here's an ad.
Patreon.com slash Limit Party.
We'll be in like 30 minutes.
That's the real ad.
How about fucking that?
If you're a real YN.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Um
You're kidding
You're kind of
My thing's tangled
Uh
He'll me sit back down
Uh
Do you have anything
You use a big hot shot now
No
I have something
We should actually turn on Ben immediately
You're a big Austin hot shot
Start
Huh?
Hang it out with the Rogan soon
You didn't mad and shame
But we did it
You think you better than us
Interesting
Hmm
Interesting
Sad
Sad
Sad.
You're not to brag, but I did the worst episode of Matt and Shane of all time.
Yeah.
Not to brag.
You did a reverse 48 hours.
Well, you were the black guys somehow.
You were both guys.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
You have fun, folks.
We have fun.
We have fun here.
We're having a good time.
We have fun here.
We're having a good time.
Yep.
That's what we find out when we go to these places, we go, apparently no one's ever heard anything we've said about you.
So, hey, let's have fun to us.
We've never talked shit about any of these people.
No, I'm kidding.
I'm just saying, like, you were around?
Were you, like, running away from Brian Gowling?
Well, yeah, I ran away from Brian Gowlin.
Terrified of him.
That was for your own safety.
Well, I found that Jeff Dye actually has listened to my live street.
We watched that the other night.
We realized he was talking about you.
Wait, really?
He kept talking about one.
He kept saying, like, and then people will say this, and then people will say that.
No, he goes, this guy we were watching.
And then we realized.
We kept listing things I said specifically.
He's just talking about Ben saying things about him.
How did he refer to you?
I said he had bad Mike.
He just called me this guy.
This guy.
And he claims that these people talk shit about him so they can get clicks.
Right.
Meanwhile, your channel is plummeting because you talked about Jeff Dye.
People are like, we don't know who that is.
Because people claim that he goes, this guy was saying that, like, I think, like, people are talking about me on their channel because I'm, like, so famous is what this guy was claiming.
Like, I have a big ego.
It's like, hey, buddy, aren't you using my name?
name right now to get clicks.
I'm like, oh, so you do think you're really famous?
You don't.
You suck ass.
You're gay.
His podcasts.
I got you.
Well, this is what's great.
I listen to his podcast every week.
It's the most boring thing I've ever heard.
Now I get to listen to him every week respond to me talking about him.
It's the best show.
He's red bar, but for himself.
He pulls up clips of himself and he goes, look at this person's shitting on me.
He goes, look at this.
Don't I suck ass here.
You guys are kind of having like a phone call, basically.
but over a longer time period
but he'll play a clip of Mark Maren saying he sucks
ass and then he does just talk about
who have a clip of like Ron Funcch's going on a
podcast saying he sucks ass
He doesn't seem to understand it like
It's like it's weird
It makes him look bad he's like
Dude and then like George Carlin
Like said I suck ass
Yeah George Carlin's daughter
On an old album
He's like and then like Richard Pryor
Didn't even know I was alive when he said a feeling
I'd be born
And he said this guy Jeff Dye is an unfunny hack
And then the next clip, Norm MacDonald entered a seance to say that I suck ass and he hates me and that everybody in heaven thinks I should kill myself.
He's like, pull up that clip of Jesus Christ saying I suck shit.
Do you see what Mohammed said on his podcast?
I'm just trying to have fun and be nice.
And like Jesus Christ was at the comedy show the other night.
He was being really rude to me.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus.
My Savior.
My Savior.
My Savior.
My Savior.
My Savior.
My Savior.
I listened to his work in my cyber truck.
that I am behind payments on.
That I'm constantly parking five miles away from my house, so it doesn't get repud.
No, the cognitive dissonance for these guys to not put a gun in their mouth is...
Oh, what's that mean?
Sorry.
Well, he's listening.
He's like a huge narcissist.
Good.
If you want to tell him anything, he's listening right now, I guarantee it.
I'm saying your cognitive dissonance is equivalent.
It's equivalent to somebody in a big loony bin who thinks they are, literally who thinks they are Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's all the things you tell yourself about the people who say things about you, they're not true.
It's not true.
It's not true.
He has beef with his mom.
He's like, my mom was like saying, like, why was I born?
His mom starts a podcast and talks shit about his son or son.
The doctor who was at, the doctor who did my birth, at least recently renounced his medical life.
for bringing me into this world.
These guys are all jealous and they're haters.
Yeah, it's very funny.
Like that, he's, like, so open about,
he's always telling his audience about how much, like,
a legend said he sucks.
Yeah, and I got eyes all over the place,
so I know where he goes.
My friend, who's, like, one of the nicest guys
in the world last week goes, oh, my God,
I'm at a coffee shop in Sherman Oaks and Jeff Dye just walked in.
And I was like, oh, my God, really?
He's like, yes.
And then he goes, oh, my God, he just got
in his cyber truck with his
ice coffee, what a faggot.
My nicest thread that I have.
It's the nicest guy I've ever met.
That's amazing.
Watching it walk to a cyber track with his ice car.
I got eyes out over the place.
This is my...
This is what Jeff should know.
I know you're the last cowboy in L.A., but this is my town.
You run L.A.
Look, Devin Costa, host of Lemon Party, you know, top 50 Patreon over here.
Devin Costa was born and raised here.
Oh, yeah.
Jeff.
Jeff, we run this town.
I will annihilate you.
You don't think we have shooters.
I'll...
Come at us.
Go ahead.
Keep talking shit.
I don't even...
You know, I don't know that many people, but I could make a couple calls and have your legs broke.
And Jeff, if you think you can escape into San Diego, I have like three to four friends down there.
Oh, yeah.
Jay says it live here, but whatever.
Exactly.
But, yeah, no, keep it up.
And I'm in Austin half the time anyway.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
I'm at the mothership, too, motherfucker.
Last Cowboys.
I'm at all these places.
Actually, I'm more than happy to take it.
talk to Jeff if he ever wants to have a chat.
He's, actually, it was making my heart
hurt a little bit. I like him. Watching him talking.
He's great. I like him too.
Oh, yeah, we're Austin guys now.
Jeff kicks ass. I forgot. I forgot where Austin guys now.
He was so tender-hearted.
He was talking about you.
I was like, I could tell it actually hurts his feelings.
And I'm like, yeah, but you're so out of touch.
Yeah, but then he reveals that he has a huge ego.
Yeah, I know. And he thinks, you know.
And also, I deserve.
And then he does this whole thing where he's like, it's just about, like, love and, like, just, I just, I'm being a good guy.
Yeah. And it's like, right, but then you do a bit of, you do, like, the hackiest bit about, like, a gay guy trying to exist.
Like, yeah.
And this is coming from us. I'm insane.
I'm like, yeah.
And we say crazy.
Well, we say crazy shit.
We don't then make a grand point where he's like, well, that's the thing, you know, fags are trying to fuck kids in bathrooms.
Well, you will then say gay people are actually evil.
You will say that.
But I, but I don't think that.
Be fair, you can't, well, actually, Jayce, you have to walk the plank with Jeff.
No, no, no.
Because I, because I care about gay people so much, I can accurately call the mule by saying
they're just, they just suck ass.
And they're very mean to their female friends.
That's true.
That's a good point.
I'm not saying they're raping kids in bathrooms.
No, yeah.
They're raping kids in their gay clubs.
Jeff Dye does, like, G-rated, like, gay people who are, like, pedophiles type of shit.
I mean, I'm in C-17.
Actually, I kind of like.
makes his jokes. Apparently he like opens like Republican conventions and stuff. Like he's doing
shows like that and then he's like, why is everybody? Think I'm, I don't know. I don't get it.
He's like, I'm not political. I just. They wouldn't even let me fuck Eric Kirk. Jeff,
I'm not political. Look, man, if I ever run into you, you know, I don't know, you know what off
ramps you hang out at, but I'm glad to put money in your bucket and, like, we'll get you
to Austin, buddy. I know you're, you're really hurting right now. But I'll put a little change
in that cup for you. It is crazy. He doesn't live in Austin. He's paying him. He's
begging for money. He's on Sunset Boulevard
showing hole. Trying to
get down, trying to work his way down
to Austin, Texas. He started to go fund me. It didn't work
out. He's going to sincerely respond to this
on his podcast. He goes, some guy is saying
I show whole
under off ramps? But Devin,
we need to be entertained too.
We need podcasts
to listen to, do we not?
Yeah. We need Jeff to respond to us.
We need him to go off. Jeff,
can I come on your podcast, actually?
I'll come on your podcast as a guest.
He does need, he needs like a back and forth to somebody because the solo thing is not good.
I'll start producing his show.
You should.
Jeff, I'll produce your show for $100 a podcast.
Yeah.
He does not have that money.
That was, that was very kind of you to say $100, but still.
50.
You produce this podcast.
You've been only $25.
I'll record.
I'll do, that's audio only.
You should produce Jeff Dyes podcast.
Videos 40.
He should.
He's getting iced coffee.
Cybertruck, the payment, because I looked into it, my wife said no.
$1,400 a month leasing.
950, $1,100 a month, I think it was leasing.
Then with the insurance, the insurance on these cars is crazy because they're so expensive.
Because they kill you.
Taxes and everything?
What, $13.4.
Does that sound right, Devin, your car guy?
13, 1400.
Yeah, probably.
He's got the cyber truck.
He can't afford to, maybe he bought that thing cash?
What's going on here with Dye's finance?
He's five months behind on that.
I bet he's doing all right financially.
Is he?
He got the Dewee?
He paid a heavy fine for that.
He had to get the lawyer.
But he hangs out with like Jeannie Bus and shit.
So he's in circles, right?
Just imagine he makes money.
You're saying he's stealing from Jeannie Bus probably.
Yeah, probably.
Goes in her purse and gets $300.
He's like Marty Supreme.
Yeah.
Fuck her in the shower and stealing her diamond necklace.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, fucking her and J. Moore.
At the same time.
Yeah.
Eiffel towering.
more together.
No, but we, you know, we wish him the best.
Jeff, you can hang on us all you want.
We're giving you huge promotion right now, but we know you got a Patreon too.
Go ahead, promote it, Jeff.
This is kind of fun.
You're kind of like Trump now where you get to be like, you get to be like,
now listen to them talk about what I just said.
Isn't that fun?
You get to like turn on CNN and be like, they thought that was serious.
They're fucking retarts.
Oh, they think I have to mention it because I was doing a hilarious bit.
Doesn't that kick ass?
When the country's at war, so is a lemon party.
Of course.
That's the way I look at it.
Of course.
We're at war.
ICE has finally gone too far that killed a white woman.
I said, you feed all the Mexicans you want to alligators.
I don't care.
They say, so you're supposed to watch the spike in pizza places in Washington, D.C.?
Yeah, for action going on.
Yeah, but you don't know if it's wartime of Randy Fine just came to town.
It's hard to know these days.
Yeah, you don't know if Randy Feig came in like Dagwood from Blondie.
You don't know if Chris Christie just.
He was on vacation.
They got pizza sponsors.
Randy Fine walked in.
He goes, can you bake me into a big pizza?
And make it kosher.
Make it kosher.
Make it kosher because I'm a fucking piece of shit for Israel.
He's like 500 packs.
He's 500 pounds.
And he's like, he's like, you know what's crazy about Randy Fine?
He loves being a big fucking pig that gets slapped for Israel.
You know what he looks like that man?
He's fat, right?
Mm-hmm.
It looks like shit.
He's, uh...
He looks like the clown.
from a spawn.
John Likwazamo?
He looks like John Likwazamo is playing him.
Yeah.
He looks, no, shows, no, shows get.
Oh, yeah, this is the one right here.
Oh, that you're fat as shit.
And then he goes, he goes in front of Congress and he screams about how Israel can kill.
Those are his words.
Israel can kill as many people as they want to.
He gets stuck in the pedophile tunnel at Com and Ping Pong.
He's stuck in the ball pit.
There's a guy that goes there with his gun.
He's like, I know the kids are here.
And he opens it.
Randy finds just stuck.
Epstein's pilot.
Epstein's pilot comes back.
He's like, we think somebody's been lying about the weight
because we're about to run out of gas.
There is no suffering adequate for these animals.
May the streets of Gaza overflow with blood.
So now we don't...
Side by guy, it's like a chocolate fountain.
So we don't know anything about geopolitics, right?
Of course.
No one in this room.
I did read that we can't...
So I read Michael Berry's substact, too,
and he said we won't see the effects with the oil for, like,
three to five years to get in there.
Yeah, no, the guys want to go in.
People said it would take like 10 years to extract this oil.
Yeah.
Guys, let's go get in there.
Get the, if we did it, if we already did it, like, I'm not pro, like, I'm not the state
media on this show.
I'm not going to cheer this on.
But I'm saying, why can't you just get the oil?
Yeah, we take 10 years.
With Venezuela?
Yeah, why can we get it?
If we already did it, if we already overthrew the thing.
If gas prices don't go down, it's a war crime, what they did.
But if they go down.
Not too bad.
Necessary.
Not too bad.
Now, Powell is going to have to cut rates until he gets fired, right?
We can't get this oil for 10 years.
They're printing $35 billion a month.
I mean, what's the next play here?
Is steak going to be $150 soon?
Or egg's going to be $100 a piece?
I hope.
For Randy Fine's sake, I hope not.
Are we entering hyperinflation here?
As we tell Randy find, it's Hershey's syrup, and he just goes in and eats all of it.
We just have to bleed it.
him like a big tick.
We have to like juice him.
Yeah, we put him in a big juicer and just press it in.
I wish I understood the oil thing.
Because do you remember, so our brother-in-law was working on oil pipelines.
He was welding or something.
I think it was in Virginia.
Yeah.
And he said he quit doing that because everybody was dying.
Yeah.
He would go to Virginia.
He lived in a trailer.
He would just order dominoes and do drugs and stuff.
And then this one, he's a much younger man.
So you can't judge him for it.
We just having fun.
He said first day on the job, they're like, hey, go find, you know, John or whatever.
And maybe second day on the job.
They're like, hey, go find him.
He wasn't showing up at the, like, meeting at like 7 a.m.
And he went around the trailer there to the porta poties and he was knocking on him.
One of them was locked.
He was like, John, John, he's knocking on it.
He finally busted open and the guy has slumped over with, like, the syringe in his arm.
Oh, wow.
Like, he was shooting up.
Got a hot shot.
he OD'd right there, he's dead.
And he went and told his boss, he's like, oh, shit, all right.
He's like, they got him out of there.
Can you flush him?
Did you try kicking him down the hole?
With the rest of them?
They go, rest in peace, John.
That's the best way to die in the oil business.
So here's my limited understanding about that business.
And me and Jace grew up near the Permian Basin, like around Midland and stuff,
where they got a lot to, shout out, Oxy.
Uh,
Oxedental.
Shout out meth.
Um, that, uh, well, I was shout at the Occidental Petroleum.
It's a holding by Warren Buffett.
I thought you're talking about the drugs they were doing.
Well, and I also shout out Oxy.
Shout out Oxy.
Shout out all the fat guys I talked to at the golf course who put Xbox in their, in their big trucks.
They were driving gas around them.
The amount of guys who looked like Randy Fine with a goatee who were like, it's great.
I put a, I put a fucking Xbox in my 18 wheeler and I just play Halo while I'm driving around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're driving, they're driving 80s.
80,000 gallons of the most flammable liquid on earth.
Oh, they all died.
All me and Jason know about the oil fields and stuff is that these people, they made a ton of money,
but the casualty rate is very high.
They would get run over by big rigs trucks, ripped apart by chains.
They got their fingers ripped off all the time.
When we were kids, there was like two different old guys at our church.
Do you remember this?
They give you a quarter so you could go get like a lollipop,
but you had to take it out of their fucked up nub hands.
So they would hold a nub hand out of you.
And guess where they kept the lollipop?
Yeah, it's real dangerous.
No, they all had like crab hands and stuff.
It was very strange.
And they have all the technology to make it not dangerous, but it's still dangerous.
Yeah, because don't they have the...
Like, you watch like, there will be blood.
You're like, yeah, this makes sense.
Like, of course, people are getting, you know...
They're doing, like, dynamite pickaxes.
Yeah.
Going deaf.
So do we have to do that in Venezuela, too?
And that's why it takes so long that they get it.
Maybe it takes a little bit of time.
Yeah, I think it takes a lot of infrastructure.
I think all those guys are like, yeah, so we're going to set up business and then a
Venezuelan's going to shoot me in the head.
Like, it's not...
Like we don't have that we don't actually have control of that region
It's like the wild west
What's gonna happen to Maduro? He looks cool as shit
He does what's gonna happen to that guy
He does look swag the fuck out
He looks like he's he's preparing for a wild guard game
Yeah him and Luigi are fucking in prison now
Maduro they they they they
You know they kidnapped him and he looked like he was like a jaded D1 athlete
On his day off
Yeah he looked like he was talking to his T.A
He looked like he was walking with slides
on to the cafeteria.
It's like, what, man?
These white bitches were crazy this night.
Doing the slowest walk you've ever seen on a human being.
Talking to a T.A. just being like, just pass me, bro.
We're playing state next month.
Fuck.
Yeah, he looked cool as shit.
Knowing those if they actually brought out those supersonic weapons or not.
Were you reading about that?
People think it's American propaganda that they've been doing this for 20 years where they pay, got to say that.
that to act like we got weapons that could vaporize you.
You see that, Devin, like, the soldiers were saying that, like, the American soldiers
landed and their heads...
All the guys who were defending Maduro said.
Their heads were, like, frying, and their blood was coming out of their nose, and they
were convulsing around and shitting themselves.
The Venezuelan soldiers said that they got, like, hit with some ray where they all
started shitting themselves and throwing out.
I bet it's... I hope we have that.
It's the Havana syndrome gun, that whole fake thing.
Is that real?
We don't...
I mean, I don't know what DARPA has.
Why would these Venezuelans lie about?
that.
Well, because you pay a guy
that lie about it.
How many said it, though?
He was like, so basically,
like...
I was, like,
totally in Venezuela
when this happened.
Yeah,
and I'm not from South Central.
And I was pissed
because me and my girl
were supposed to go
to Six Flags next month.
He was, like,
I was, like,
stealing, like,
earrings from Claire's boutique
and then, like,
these dudes, like,
shot me with the Havana
syndrome gun.
And I was like,
that is not okay.
I was like,
that shit crazy.
I went to the general,
and I was like,
like time out.
I just shit myself.
You just got shit.
You got diarrhea over my Nike Cortez's and that's fucked up.
That's the best way of guy.
That's a fit.
That's fucked up.
This was my best pair of Bugs Bunny shirts.
And now they're covered in shit and throw up.
I rode Superman ten times today.
And I didn't throw up until they hit me with the poo-poo gun.
I went down on Goliath.
I smoked a blunt before Goliath and that shit was trippy.
And then they hit me with the big pin.
And then they hit me with the Havana syndrome.
Why couldn't they hit me with the peepie gun to make me piss myself?
They gotta go to poop like that?
That escalated quickly.
Like give me a fucking warning shot.
Let me piss myself.
Yeah, a lot of people say it's all like American propaganda to get them to say shit like that.
Yeah, we plan a guy.
Like we have like technology no one's ever seen.
May I offer another ignorant opinion for the second?
of comedy. Of course. I hope we
treat it like it's real in the comments. Yeah, just
treat it like I actually believe it
and I'm not. I'm kind of for us
taking Greenland. Does anyone else
like this chick's ass? I'm kind of into it as
well. I got to tell you. Part of me
kind of is thinking, let's do it. If we could
like... If I could go to McDonald's in the snow
and Greenland. Yes. Yeah. I'm
for taking Greenland if we can like
genocide everyone there first. Because they seem
weird. They seem weird. You know
they're all cousins that fuck each other.
Yeah, they're all like...
They have to keep track of it, right?
Up in Greenland?
On an app, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're like icy...
They're like ice...
Like, Mexicans or something.
What are they?
Alabamaans?
What are people in Greenland?
I saw pictures of them.
I don't know, but they gotta go.
They look strange.
Yeah.
They look like New York, right?
We're declaring them here first on the show.
They're not white.
They're not white.
They're not...
They're closer to penguins than whites.
They are.
Yeah.
They're sick.
We do need to take Greenland just cusses.
We have. It sounds right.
It would kick ass. It makes sense that it's ours
anyway. Isn't it something with like Taiwan
and like they're in the... Who cares? I don't
care. No one knows where that is. Just take it
because like we should just start taking over everything.
Yeah. I just... Dude, I literally...
We should take over China. I literally want to
colonize the world.
It is funny
to be like, dude, they want a one world
government. Like it's a, it's a...
You know, they want it to all be
under one anyway. We should take over every
country. But they just...
The guy who wants us to take over the world, but just so we can have, like, good McDonald's everywhere.
Good McDonald's and a Disney world.
It's just funny to talk about, like, Klaus Schwab and one world government globalists and stuff.
And also, like, share memes of, like, everything has having an American flag on it, like, across the globe.
Yeah.
It's like, so that's what you want.
And they go, no.
No, America doesn't have propaganda.
That's different.
I mean, the Venezuela thing was just kind of like, if we did, like, the Iraq war, but Bush was like, yeah, we lied.
We're taking the oil, and I don't care.
Like it's kind of crazy we just have like like Trump's just like we're there for the oil.
I don't give a shit.
Which I do kind of respect.
You just like let's say, I'm not going to bullshit a bullshit or we want that sweet oil.
Yeah.
That's what it's all about.
You do respect that.
Great.
I just look at the map and I go, let me pull it up again because I'm pretty sure Greenland's big as fuck.
I was like there it is.
We always forget it's there, but it's big as hell.
It's really big.
And we should get it.
It's really big.
And I don't think they're using it right.
They're not.
What are they doing in Greenland?
Nothing.
We should turn it into fucking Aspen.
They have object permanence up there.
They don't come online again until Conan goes and does another segment.
And then they all like, the city, the economy starts up again.
They turn all the lights on.
They're like, all Conan's here for the-
Conan's here once a year.
For the annual segment?
I watched a video.
It was just showed people from Greenland and I was like, you know what?
They deserve to be enslaved and taken over by us.
Not adopted as American citizens.
No, they're just weird little.
parka people. Just put into slavery. They're just odd. That's the thing. I don't understand
why we want to take it though if we keep talking about like this immigration issue.
Why would we now want to like be responsible for all these people in Greenland? What if we
actually, what if we sent all the Mexicans to Greenland? What do you think about that?
That'd be sick. And they all got to be like cold now. That's their punishment is you're like
really cold all the time. All they have is one Dodgers hoodie.
They have to share. Your punishment is you're just going burr. Fucking burr.
I don't know what's going on, though.
It's crazy.
I guess there's just going to keep being more George Floyd,
but there's just going to be too many George Floyd's.
We can't have a bunch of them.
Did you?
I thought it was a little weird.
This sounds callous,
but I thought it was weird people were that upset by it.
Me too.
I didn't really.
The lady in the bean again are fucking head blown off.
I think it's my...
I get people being upset about it, right?
It's equal opportunity.
But their heart's not in it.
Like, when I'm watching the march, it's like it's not.
That's what it felt like to know.
me. Are they marching? I was like... Kind of the
trying. They're trying. They're in Rascal scooters.
But at the end of the day, it's like, you know,
it's like a, oh, Lindsey Vaughn was shot.
No one cares about white.
Like, a, you know.
I'm not even saying like that, like, just we've kind of been
through this. Like, I don't even know, like, this is
cynical of me, but I'm like, you're marching, you're like,
nothing's going to change, you know?
This is pointless.
Protesting truly does absolutely.
Not a single thing. Not a single thing.
I think they're just running the same op every five years, right?
To distract us.
Just blow in the...
the same new op.
Just kill a new person for no reason.
Make them do Eddington to each other.
Yeah.
It's a good point.
Is anybody even defending this one at all?
I don't know.
I mean, there's tons of retards on the internet that think they're making some grandstand on about this stuff.
I mean, other than Matt Walsh, but he's, you know.
50% of people think it was completely justified.
And the other 50% are like that.
Yeah.
So they're all fighting on an app that's retarded.
I mean, you know.
It's this that, it's that special time of year where we get really into the rules of murder.
special time of year. It happens every year.
Every year.
After Christmas.
Everyone is writing big breakdowns about when it's okay to get your head blown off.
Yeah, you see guys you thought died on Facebook being like, here's the thing.
You thought he died four years ago.
And we're like, oh, dude, that fucking retarded guy we knew thought died four years ago is back.
It's Fafo season.
Fuck around and find out.
You honked.
She honked.
She honked.
And he answered, she honked, blow her fucking head off.
Did she honk at him?
No, no.
She was, like, backing up and then go, like, she was evading.
She, like, panicked or something.
I think she was told by her wife to leave.
She looks kind of Chinese to me.
She looks odd, and I'm sure living with her was an utter nightmare.
I'm glad she's dead.
That's insane.
No.
So insane.
No.
Kidding, obviously.
Devin, come up, pal.
We don't think her head should have been turned into a stump.
No, it's insane.
Yeah.
It's insane.
She's not even a minority.
It's crazy they killed her.
Like, that's one of ours, you know?
You don't touch ours.
It's disgusting that they killed her.
Yeah.
There was plenty of Mexican people right nearby.
You could have opened fire into it.
Why aren't you guys kidnapping Mexicans?
What are you wasting your time with this Honda Pilot?
Like, exactly.
Truly.
When people are like,
come on, guys, she's a soccer mom.
I'm like, she's a rugby mom.
She's, let's get it right.
Soccer mom.
Come on.
She's a hockey mom.
Yeah, no, I know.
She's not a soccer mom.
She's hanging, she's playing, she's in a rugby league with all real monsters.
Let's be honest.
Yeah.
A guy holding his eyeball on his hands.
A gay woman holding her eyeballs in her own hands.
And then they all go play trivia night and they suck ass.
Yeah.
But their head should not be turned into big holes.
They're all weird cartoons from the 90s on Nickelodeonian.
Yeah.
Exactly. They're rocket power.
Playing rugby together.
Yeah, rocket power, but they rub their pussies against each other.
And that's, and I don't like that.
Yeah.
But also their head should not be big stumps.
Can I say she doesn't look like a woman who knew she, who was certain that she was gay?
Oh.
You thought she was pretend.
Looking at her face, she looked like she could maybe go either way on getting dick or getting pussy.
She looked like.
And for that reason, she deserved to die.
She looked like, you know, she could.
could have tried her hand just like running a little like man.
Like she could have been with a man that she just controlled.
A little guy with a mustache?
A little beard.
Like a bank teller?
She should, I mean, yeah, like a Seth Simons or something.
She could have, you know.
Yeah, she should have had like Burgess Meredith from the Twilight Zone.
Like the reading guy that she was really mean to.
She looks like she could have had a man in the house that she controlled with her thighs.
Held his neck.
Like he was a watermelon?
Yeah.
Just, you know, just almost popping his head.
every day. Something like that. But, you know, that's the thing. I think these white people
like her, like, they, she was from like Colorado, hadn't even lived and...
Yeah, like, newly moved. You're in Minnesota because you're like, hey, this is the place
where like... I'm moving to George Floyd. This is George Floyd. Yeah. Georgetown. George Floyd
town. It's George Floyd Town. Yeah. Yeah. So you go there, you're like, I go there so I can
walk around the black square and feel bad all the time. So, like, every building has a George Floyd
fluid mural on it so they can't then burn
those down. Well, they keep shooting at the murals.
They get confused. It's like
a wily coyote situation where he paints
a big tunnel on a wall. No, ICE is going to
arrest the statue in the square.
They bring a bunch of bricks with handcuffs on them.
We got it. We got the giant black
man on the side of the grocery
store downtown. You know, what we're
going to have now, though, it's going to be interesting to watch.
It's like, then there's going to be issues about
them putting up murals about this lady
over George Floyd.
Oh, wow.
And then it's going to be like, that I'm kind of for.
Liberal infighting, where now everyone's
eaten each other. Yeah. Or, you know
what, could be good? They put her next
to the George Floyd murals, like, behind him.
And then you could have the galaxy
take of, like, I don't think we should have mixed race
murals. I think, have your own white murals
and your own black murals. It's very confusing
to them. They don't know what to do about this one, because white
ladies are like, it's fucking horrible and they're fucking
terrorists, but also, like, fuck white people.
And I'm glad her head got blown off.
Then thank you, I.
And thank you eyes, but also fuck eyes.
I would be in favor of ICE if they just arrested white people like myself and killed me.
Yeah.
I mean, honestly, you know, listen, there's some black kids that were about to be adopted and tortured by them that are probably thanking God right now.
There was a black kid in foster care who was about to be fed a mushroom against his will.
There was a black kid in foster care that knew he was about to have to start making kombucha like a slave for the next 15 years.
who was going to be forced to have like a rabbit.
Yeah.
Just having to run the community garden, not back.
Yeah, eating a diet so bad, he's like, I could have just sold crack cocaine.
Out of a foster home.
This sucks ass.
Yeah.
A kid that's like, I should have just started rapping.
This sucks.
I wish I got shot when I was 14 for selling drugs.
Instead of being raised by this fucking...
Instead I'm eating tempe every night.
Wait, what the hell?
If Hollywood cares so much, why don't we have...
Who's the guy that's like never fill up my cup?
The actor that got canceled.
Huh?
Remember the actor's like, don't fill up my cup?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jonathan Majors.
He's actually a really talented actor.
He's really talented.
He's really talented. I love magazine.
He's the first guy that came up in my head that should play the biopic of George Floyd.
And this needs to happen.
There's something about his face that feels like he'd fit George Floyd.
There's something about you.
I can just see you getting leaned on for nine minutes.
I feel like you'd nail George Floyd.
Okay, so.
Looking for a young George Floyd type.
And your name came across our desk.
Okay, remember reality winner, the whistleblower,
played by Sidney, the HBO thing?
Sure.
We all, you know, it takes six, seven years,
then we do it.
The George Floyd one is due,
and now this one makes this.
Amy Polar could play Renee good, or whatever.
Renee Nicole good.
You sound like that.
Renee.
Renee.
Mm-hmm.
Renee.
Amy Polar could put on that Leslie No,
punky-dory, you know, big hips thing.
But you can't make that one.
one until you make the George Floyd one.
Yeah.
There's a, you got to get in line.
Can I tell you, I think they should make the George Floyd one, but they should have
Sidney Swiny played George Floyd.
I think, I think if you had George Floyd, but he had big fuckable tits, people would be
like, why are you leaning on her?
That's horrible.
Don't do that.
It would be like empathy, you know, like you would teach people.
Like, oh, this could have been a hot white woman with big tits.
Why can't David O. Russell make the George Floyd movie?
Well, because he's currently screaming at Lily Tomlin right now.
He's at old folks home.
throwing a glass at Lily Tomlin's head.
It just doesn't make any sense.
We got, dude, we got the Roaring Kitty
Bitcoin stock market.
Remember the Stock Market?
Yeah.
Remember the GameStop stock market thing from 2021?
Oh, yeah.
Dumb money.
Yeah, that was made like two years after that happened.
Yeah, they makes it really quick now.
Come on, Holly.
What do we need Floyd?
They don't know.
This could be Tarantino's last film.
They don't know.
About George Floyd.
Actually, that would be great if that was Tarantino's last film.
It's called Floyd.
out his feet.
Yeah.
His homeless feet.
And you think it's disrespectful, but the last 30 minutes are he bends Derek Chauvin over and fucks him in the ass.
And you're like, dude, he like rewrote history.
Like, that's sick.
He rewrote history.
He ass fucked Derek Chauvin and then he pissed on the Chinese guy.
Tarantino still got it, man.
Dude, I'm not kidding.
I would pay $1,000 to see that.
To see that actual movie.
Movie getting made.
Once upon a time in Minneapolis, that would be great.
He could do something about an IDF soldier or he could go Floyd.
That's all he's got left in the bag, man.
He's got nothing left.
Yeah, he writes Kill Little Bill, a battle Palestinian kid.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
I like that, Jay's.
Like the Bill Cosby TV show.
You should get Chat, GPT, to write that, and then email it to Quentin Tarantina.
And then put a gun in my mouth.
I'm serious.
Dude, if we got, who's the Richard Jewel guy, Paul Walter Houser?
Paul Walter Houser, yeah. He's got to be in Floyd.
Oh, yeah. He's in Floyd. That's totally a...
Who does he play? Does he play the Chinese cop in Floyd?
He plays the Chinese guy. Yeah, who's eating egg rolls in his car.
Yeah, he just keeps giving the thumbs up to Derek Schaubman.
He's... He's... He leans out. Don't take the knee off. Yeah. A little more pressure.
Doing the Paul Walter Houser thing, where he's like, he's... You should lean on him a little more.
Just shoving low man.
Obviously, John Hamm is going to play the chief of police because he always plays some horse shit like that with his big dick.
Yeah.
And he comes.
He's like, I want next winged on now.
It just depends.
Who is willing to be a big enough cuck to play Derek Chauvin in the movie and be really convincing?
I think Robert Pattinson is the only one with the balls.
Robert Pattinson would do it.
He would shave his head.
He'd do it.
We'd talk passing and do it.
Pattinson would do it.
But you got to have an odd ball.
You got to have Paul Giobani play.
Derek Chauvin.
Paul Giamatti is there, show.
I guess they're going to be really neurotic about it to get us to feel bad for.
No, go ahead.
Lean on my neck for eight minutes.
Sure.
Sure, you need to breathe.
I, yeah.
There was traces of fentanyl in a system.
Yeah, Paul Giamatti plays Matt Walsh.
Him, after he kills George Floyd, he calls his wife.
Honey, I got some, yeah, bad news.
Yeah, I killed George Floyd.
You remember that blackout of the camera?
Let's talk about him like that before it's even a thing.
Yeah, you know how someone killed George Floyd today?
Yeah.
That's what Derek Chauvin said after he did.
He goes, I think I just killed George Floyd.
Oh, it's like that scene from back to the future.
Yeah.
You know that hate crime you're looking for?
Well, watch this.
Well, here you go.
Here you go.
He's drinking.
He's drinking wine.
He goes to the, he goes to Napa Valley to find himself in between sentences.
I am not drinking any fucking Merlot.
I just killed a black guy.
I just, uh, kill him.
George Floyd.
Yeah.
He's showing that big tit at Blondley.
He's like, so there's a video.
You need to watch real quick.
Oh, he's fucking the big fat lady in sideways.
He's like, man, George Floyd would I fucking love this.
Oh, my God.
He would have fucked you so much better than me.
You know, he's got a porno.
He's opining about George Floyd like he's whined to Virginia Madsen.
Thank you, Virginia Madsen.
He's like, it's just so restless and loud.
on drugs.
And the last bit, the rattle.
Great, great rattle.
Great rattle.
I guess you could get a state, in all seriousness, a Stanley Tucci could be good.
I would like Bill Pullman, but Bill Pullman died.
Bill Pullman would be great.
You got a heart attack, right?
He's dead.
I think.
He's great in nightcrawling.
I think Goggins.
I think Walton Goggins.
Oh, geez, you fucking Hollywood son of a bitch.
It would be a great for it.
Shave his head.
He's already received.
proceeding like Chauvin was.
Get the wraparounds on him.
He could really crush that.
I like that.
You know they're going to give it to Joaquin and it's going to suck.
And we're going to be sick of him at that point.
Yeah.
He'll get all actory about it.
Black guy, I don't, I don't.
It's interesting.
They could get Tyler the Crater to play.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
We know.
The staff he's making and it's just about George Floyd trying to get $80 for that.
Yeah.
To go into the, it's about it.
It would be about getting the Lucy.
an 80 minute thriller with synth playing of George Floyd just trying to get money to buy one cigarette
George Floyd's friends being like I have a gumball machine I own across town
Bubba boom
Bib boom Bibi Bobol
And everybody would be like I think this is great because I'm nine years behind on the culture
They're like I just watched Good Time and I like it so now this is the best movie you ever made
They haven't even met a Kobe biopic
They shouldn't.
That would be bad.
That would be bad.
That would be bad.
They're bad.
Tupac has one of the most interesting stories of like any modern human and they can't do that right.
They're just now getting to a Michael Jackson movie.
Yeah.
It's going to be terrible.
The Indy Winehouse movie was fucking awful.
Biopic sucks.
Unless like James Mangold does it and it's like okay.
Walk the line's great.
Walk the line and like, man, he made James Angold made that.
Walk the line is the best biopic, I think.
Yeah.
Like that and Ray and.
And other than that, it's like...
The Bruce Springsteen movie was fucking Jesus Christ.
It's just like, hey, Bruce Springsteen's sad and he needs to look at a pier.
Yeah, what if a sad guy wore white T-shirts?
Bruce Springsteen, like, I really need to just stare at some cotton candy.
I'm thinking about my dad.
I need to go to the fair in Atlantic City.
I just got to get to Atlantic City and look at a pier.
Oh, my God, I need to be cold outside in New Jersey.
I'm so fucked up.
Yeah, it's so cold.
I better go outside.
I'm so cold.
I need to put my arms in my jacket and go, who...
While I walk and be sad.
The George Floyd's
Afterdie movie where he's like,
he's like,
you're going to be staring at me
from the cover of the New York Times.
David Gettas
going to make a song about me.
Marty supremacist.
Hey,
there we go.
Hey now.
There we go.
Ayo.
Ayo.
He's dealing on George Floyd.
I was born in 1602.
I'm a vampire.
Like with Palser being like,
well, what if you get choked to death by a cop?
He's like, that doesn't even enter my mind, that thought.
Now, I'm going to go buy Lucy's and be erratic.
I didn't lose to him.
I lost to a knee.
Yeah, we can.
I-five.
Yes.
Yes.
Still got it.
Fuck, George Floyd.
We still got it.
That's some guy at home watching this on his computer.
Yeah, give it to fly.
Yeah.
Flipping off a big poster, George Floyd, he throws knives out every day.
Because 2020 exploded his brain.
Like a big.
Pop-Cournal. It made people mentally ill.
It's insane. It turned people into the last of a zombies.
I thought like 2017 was bad enough. 2020 was just like, all right, everyone is mentally
retarded now. And 10% of people are like, hey guys, we're never leaving this year.
Yep. This will be us for the end of time.
Yeah, feel bad for everybody arguing about this on Twitter. Like a good love to you, man.
Wasting your fucking rushes hours. You ever see those like throwback tweets where it's somebody that's
still like living their life based on like like like the flu oh COVID COVID yeah like
like were there like me and my partner we mask we were and it's just unbelievable how many people
are mad and then all the comments are like I know like it's crazy do you know if it's even safe to
go out right now like shit like that well though oh my god you know a freedlander wears a mask when he
does stand up still is that just to cover his ugly face sorry jays got is that is that the
Is that the club made it mandatory?
His breath was so bad.
They were like, here's an N-95 mask.
He wanted more fabric to put writing on, so he's wearing a mask.
No, but people will do that, like, it'll be like the video of the lady, the lesbian
getting shot, and they'll be like, you know the saddest part of this video?
He's wearing.
Nobody was masked out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's the real killer.
That can't be real, man.
I swear to your fucking God.
I saw shit like that.
That will be out there.
All right.
And look at it.
I mean, a lady was literally on camera saying, like, I can't cry for a white woman.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
You should cry more because she's, like,
Right. She looks like you.
Exactly. So it's sadder.
Dumbass.
Yeah, whatever. Patreon.com slash Lemon Party.
Rest in peace, Renee.
Renee Good.
Good.
Shout out.
Renee Nicole, good.
Shout out.
Randy Fine.
Shout out, Randy Fine.
Res. Peace, George Floyd.
As always, we're signing off here at Living Party.
We're going into the Patreon right now.
If you're on Spotify, you can just scroll up and hit the Patreon button, sign up just like that.
Boom.
It's easy.
You just click the play button and then.
I'm going to put out the Patreon.
right when this drops too.
So this will come out an hour after.
People get really upset that you don't stop it and then restart it.
There was a guy that was furious that it's not two files.
We've been doing this for months.
He goes, you're mailing it in.
He goes, you guys who just did a long episode and then put the second part on Patreon.
It's like, that's what war mode does?
Literally what we've done forever.
Ben just would stop it and then start it again.
Yeah, we would take a piss real quick and it started again.
It's like a guy furious.
He's like, I bet this isn't even two files.
I have.
I bet he didn't even have to sync audio twice.
He didn't even have to sink the audio twice, just one big file?
Lazy, scumbags.
No, that's fine.
Do the exact same thing, slightly different.
No, you're a cello.
That's fine.
Phoning it in now.
No, you know, you hang out with Limer twice.
All of a sudden you phone it in.
Well, well, anyway, I've been watching you like Sherlock Holmes looking for something I can point out as it being over.
How innocent of Lamerida apologized to me for getting in a fight with me in his mind.
Something you would never know, by the way.
I would never know.
I would never.
never know.
It's like you walk up to somebody.
You're like, hey, man, I'm really sorry.
I've been, I've been cracking my heart to your wife a lot.
And I'm sorry, man, that's fucked up.
I'm going to try to not do that anymore.
My chain.
My chain.
Don't you like my chine mine.
Y'all, goochie mine, and I'm popping off the chai.
And my chak a bit so fruity.
Call me Gucci mine.
No, you call me Gucci.
Gucci.
My chine.
My chine.
Don't you like my chine mine.
Yon guchin mine.
Yeah, guchin mine.
And I'm popping.
off the chain mine
And my Jacob is so fruited
Call me Gucci mine
No you call me Gucci Gucci
I came to the club
Just to fuck my chain line
Catch another charge
And I'm going to the chain gang
Oh I think I'm ice it
Sold a hundred dial
In baloney sex and white screen
Don't you see how bright it is
City girls and country girls be telling me
How tight it is
These girls be so sparkingly
They think my chain was moving
Stack the misa mind
Bunch it off and bought the chain.
Check the way my chain hang.
Guja, I don't gang bang.
All I do it, don't you like my chain, mine.
Young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chain, mine.
And my check a bit so fruited.
Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci.
My chain, my chain.
Don't you like my chain, mine?
I'm popping off the chain.
And my check up, it's a fruit.
No, you call me Gucci, Gucci.
Gucci, you be shy.
Gucci, you be shining, man.
Don't turn me on, home.
Tell me who, because I got this chain.
Need them yellow stones, holler at you later on.
My chain hang to my shoe sprang.
I know you love my chain.
My chain hang to my dingaline.
I'm in the club.
Don't you like my chain, mine.
Young Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chain.
And my check a bit so fruited.
Call me Gucci mine.
No you call me Gucci, Gucci.
My chain, my chain.
Don't you like my chime?
I ain't young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chime
And my Jacob is so fruited
Call me Gucci mine
No you call me Gucci Gucci
My first chain I had to rob for it
Jesus piece yellow diamond sitting all in it
I'm on some slick brick shit
2006 Mr. T diamond so bright
Ain't no way you can't see the G
Look I don't dance I just lean with it
My piece is sick Gary Robert trying to leave with it
I got that New York
Fit it on full suit dicky on Gucci link chain blue stones in a nigger charm now watch me do it
Do it with no hands traps when he cran on that bezel and that man
Cause I'm the man I'm the man got no wife but my chain got my girlfriend
My chain my chine don't you like my chine mine young goochie mine and I'm popping off the chide my
and my jackabit so fruited call me Gucci mine know you call me Gucci Gucci my
My chain, my chain, don't you like my chime?
I ain't guiche mine and I'm popping off the chain, and my Jacob is so fruited.
Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci.
