lemonparty - 169: Just a Kid From Brooklyn

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Just a Kid From Brooklyn | lemonparty 169 Ben is sick as a mutt and talks Alex Jones taking shots at him, the new documentary from Judd Apatow, why all the "news" streamers like Kyle Kulinski are cringe bro, the waning power of Reddit moderators, and a new Indian remake of James and the Giant peach... this week on lemonparty. bonus episodes ⁠https://www.patreon.com/lemonparty⁠ https://www.lemonparty.life/ https://factormeals.com/lemon50off code lemon50offhttps://ro.co/lemon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get Yoshi turned out of your arms in your bed. How about I take a little trip to Austin and I talk to an old Alex Jones, give him some dirt on you. Talk about how small your penis really is. He has no idea. I texted Alex's son. And he had no idea. I don't know how. I don't know why Alex Jones is going at me this week.

It was an interesting one. It's bizarre because you're not like Kyle Kalinsky or some political guy. It was just a bizarre thing for him to get so bent out of shape over like you a year ago. Yeah. You didn't even go into it that much. You weren't like really going after him. You kept saying you loved him. And then Alex was just like, you know, he thinks he can come coming his dab-dap.

Two can come in their dab-dap. You think I can't contribute five dollars to me leave a comment? Do you leave a super chat? You think I can't do that? Best part of the Chimkin. Really, folks. He did a half hour on you. Yeah, he did like a long time on you.

I heard he heard, because I haven't watched it, but I heard he heard us say best part of the Chimkin. Oh, really? Yeah, so he knows. You played like a sound clip. That's great. Best Bard Chimkin. And he heard that.

And he goes, well, in his $5 million studio. I don't think he had any clue what it was. But it was very funny because it cuts to him and he's in this gigantic student. He goes, let's go back to these two jokes. And it cuts to you and you and you're. room. In the room next to my sons and daughter's room. You're surrounded by shitty diapers.

I'm like, what are you, Alex? What are you doing? I ratioed him, though. You did. I ratioed him like 5X. You really did. Five X ratio. And you ratioed him.

It actually was really, it was, I said it was like Buster Scruggs when he gets killed by that new cowboy. There's always a faster guy because you just, he did 30 minutes on you and then you commented sad and then ratioed him. him by five times. You go, I didn't watch this sad. Yeah, I wonder if I... It was really weird to even go after, to

even like care about what you were saying and not, not, no, nothing against you. No, that's, of course. You should be talking about CNN. Yeah. Like, clicks. Here it is. I ratioed him here. How back did I ratio him? 1.6,000 to 696. Yeah, it's pretty good. About a three-timer.

Three-timer ratio. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, get fucked, asshole. host of the micro penis podcast Kassanat thinks it keeps saying six seven I'm not six or seven What why This is so weird he knows you kind of I don't know ma'am

Yeah small world I guess I also kind of helping you Well I think it's the clip channels He's helping He's helping Of course I think he's a fan of the show Perhaps

He's a slave of Israel Continue jess It was sad to see what he's become He's truly champion He's like cheering on the police state. It was seeing a dog with its balls cut off. Trying to jack off.

I can't do it. He's out giving him like donuts to like ice and stuff. I mean, hasn't he like cried before over the, over like how far the Trump administration is pushing him to go against everything he thought they were going to do? Well, what's funny is like Trump will call it. Apparently Trump will call him all night and like Alex will be sleeping. And then he'll wake him in the morning to a voice mail where Trump calls him,

calls him gay. He'll have voicemails from the president, and they'll say he's a, he's like a chicken shit. They'll call him chicken shit and stuff. I think Trump gets pretty mad at him. Trump will probably call him and be like, listen, I'm a pedophile.

You too much of a pussy to play this on your show. Bagget. Yeah. I know. And so he's under a lot of scrutiny from the president, who's, you know, everything. I mean, if so if Trump ran as a Democrat, Alex will be calling him a war hawk.

And he would be calling him a pedoph. a file. He would be, right? He would be calling him like a Soros type of new world. He's trying to get Greenland. He's trying to get this. He's trying to get that. He wants one world government. This is the new world. It's like a perfect in the. I mean, he talked about Epstein for 15 years. And now he doesn't, why does he not care? The Trump's not really. I don't know. It doesn't care about it. Well, that was the sad thing. I cook through. And you were being like, well, you know, he's kind of a state asset. He's like controlled media. And he would pause. He goes, listen, listen, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I talk about Trump. I support, you know. He does get mad about Trump sometimes. He does, but he was completely glossing over the shit that everybody is like, why don't, like, he didn't bring up the pedophile shit at all. He was like, listen, I call out. You know, why are we invading Greenland?

That doesn't make any sense. It's like, no, it's he rapes kids and hides it. Yeah, you're Alex Jones. I know, but that's living out. And your friend is raping kids. But Jace is living out right now. He does that. He does that he's living out.

I'm living out? No, Alex Jones. He looks at it like he's living out. That's a lib out for Jays. I forgot the new base is fucking children. That's base now. I got to do soy face real quick. Oh, yeah.

We're so mad about Alex. Of course. You don't want Alex to miss this. Listen, he was so mad at me, he didn't even do sore face. Can't even do his own name show. He's like a massive fan. And he calls me a coward. Meanwhile, he's recording in his own studio attacking me.

I'm voiceless. And he won't have me on the show face to face. I've been on his show. Right, I know. Have me on. He called you Ed McMahon. He's like dunking, trying to dunk on you from inside the NBA studio. And then it cuts to you in an old tin can and an alley somewhere.

He's like, why is it, why? Lemon Party's the time with politics. Pull up the facts. I miss those old days where they dunk off the face. I miss the old days. Will and Dawn. The Captain Predator episode was a classic. Just show me a fact guy getting hit by car.

Be real call. about it. Don't try to dunk on me. My son loves your show. Rex walks around the compound all day talking about Lemon Party. You won't tell me what Chimkin means. Keeps talking about Chimkin. I told Rex he could come on the show. Rex kept asking. I was like, absolutely. Yeah, we don't have Rex on the show. Do you think you would talk about his dad? Alex Jones, my mom was listening to Alex Jones in 2007. It was the, it was the soundtrack to coming home from school.

It was Alex Jones. And he was right about like eight. 80% of the things he was talking about. Yeah, he was. And that's what's sad, is that now he has to ignore. Our goat is washed. Every bit of it. It's finally, and this should be, this should be his time to shine. He should be on fire.

Oh, dude. With the word of God. It's because Trump talks to him. And he doesn't want to go against the guy that actually reaches out to him. Alex always wanted that, the recognition, you know, and he feels like, wow, president recognizes me. Yeah. And now you got what you wish for it. Now you're the pedophile defender.

And now look at it. Can you turn the headphones up a little bit? Of course, Ben. I like him a little, I like it a little warm, especially because my ears are clogged right now. I have, like, some weird thing going on. Why are they clogged? What's going on with you? I don't know.

Clock with what? I went to the doctor. They said I had nothing. Lies? Full of lies? Full of lies. Full of slander from Info Wars. My head is full of slander.

And then libel from Alex Jones. And I guess is this is this. how it works is I'm supposed to be like Kyle Kaczyki and have a weird crash out. Yeah. And keep saying bro. Bro, you're a cuck. Yeah. Devin doesn't evade. Have you heard Devin's Kyle Kalinsky? Can I hear it? Yeah, it's pretty good. I don't really do it with Kyle Kalinsky.

Where he's like, when he always invents a straw man. Every impression of everybody is like, hey, bro, I don't want to, I'm with them in the Rogan's fear, bro, and I don't care of shit about human rights, bro, bro, bro, you're like, shut up. You're being so gay. Don't try to be young and cool. Did you see my blonde hair? Yeah.

It's cool as shit. His books behind him are organized by color, which means you know he doesn't read them. No. Because you can't find your books if you organize them by color. Yeah, if you're an actual reader, you're pulling him out, leafing through, like, where's that one passage? But now. Detman told me he's having sex with Crystal Ball. Oh, they're married.

Hey, fucks her. Crystal Ball? Crystal Ball. He's fucking her. They bang each other. I saw Kurt called him a Kind doll. Called him Crystal Ball's Kin Doll or something like that. It kind of is.

It's perfect. I think he tweeted that. Curvals. I know. Yeah, I mean, listen, Kyle cares. I don't really care. I don't care about the politics of anything, but whatever he's like attacking people, he always goes straight to like, bro, bro.

It's like, no one's, it's not everyone's just saying, bro. Yeah, yeah. His Twitter's much better. Yeah. Because his Twitter's good, but then you log in and he's trying to do like a quivicchio live stream or some shit. He's trying to be like all swagged out. Devin watches it.

You'll leave off. go to San Diego. By the, you've been, you're in San Diego, you're in bed. You've been asleep for hours. We're still watching Kyle Kalinsky videos. I watch everybody. I watch Kyle Kalinsky. I go to Candice.

Candice is calling Charlie Kirk a time traveler, which I guess he is because he exists in the past. Yeah, that's true. Wow. Devin, that's interesting. It is. I guess she's right. My friend is a time traveler.

He stopped, he stopped traveling time September 10th. Yeah, that's a black person discovering how time works. He's late. Yeah. Like all of them. Yeah, she thinks it's traveling like in basketball. He picked up his dribble in life. Charlie just late.

He took three steps on the layout. Charlie late is the function. I'll see him in the great cookout in the sky one day. The great cookout in the state sanctioned sky. Yeah, but no. I watch every side. I watch all the top dogs. I can only imagine when I say good night to you guys.

I have to drive back all the way or away. I'm like, I'm like, there. Oh, no. We become investigative journalist. I'm like, they're doing a witch's brew in there. We have monitors up with, like, Jeff Dye's podcast. We have Info Wars Going. We are Woodward and Bernstein for people that suck ass.

You're doing all the president's fads. Yeah. All the presidents. Yep. Yep. You're meeting with deep throat. He's like, Jeff Dye cried on his live stream. The only goat is Jimmy Dore.

He's like the only one left. That's consistent. Yeah. Not that we agree with him on everything, but he's consistent. that Kurt comes in is great. Yeah, I love, I love. Because Jimmy Dorr almost, almost like fucking died. So that's where his anger.

He has a pure anger. And I also, yeah, and then I don't understand the, like, left infighting. Like, Jimmy Dorr's, like, hated. Yeah. Like, Kyle Kalenski and Crystal Ball hate him, and he hates them. Really? Yes. And I think it's all over him caring about Medicare for all and them doing, like,

gay, like, well, the Democrats can't, you know, they can't just do that. Right. Or won't he do some shit where he's like, well, Minnesota shouldn't be taken over by a billion and Somalis. Yeah, they also hate that Jimmy. Jimmy kind of like committed most of his thing to, at a certain point it felt like he was only shitting on, like, leftists.

Right. And they're like, so are you like MAGA? Like, because all you do is like, you know, attack and criticize the left. But it's like, I think he's just so outraged by what the side he is on technically. Yeah, it's let him down. Yeah, he doesn't expect anything out of conservative. I love Jimmy Doar. And I'll put on the Jimmy Doors show and sometimes him and like him and Kurt are just like,

screaming at each other. And I'm like walking my dog and I'm like, oh my God, this is insane. Reminds you your childhood. This is crazy. And then they make, they don't even make up. They just like move on. And I'm like, well, that's going to, there's going to be some resentment there. That'll fester.

I can't wait for next week. I don't watch it too much. I just know every time I do tune in, Jimmy is like turning into a bigger pair of eyeglasses over time. Yeah. Like he's turning into those novelty sunglasses you get at Venice Beach. He's just like getting smaller. It started to look like Shelly Berman. Like Larry David's dad and Kirby.

No, but I watch them all, man. It's all. You gotta watch them all. By the way, no one's getting anything done. No. All anyone, it's all meta. It's every show is meta. They just go, look at this guy that does the same thing I do slightly differently.

Gotcha. Look at him suck ass here. We got it. Fuck you. And you go, did you change any policy? No. But I'm a fighter. I'm a freedom fighter.

All you do is they cover everyone else doing the news. Their news aggregate. They go, hey, this person that flip-flops every week, they said the opposite thing this week. Let's cover that. I go, aren't you the fucking news? Isn't the whole thing your independent news? Soger is doing his, like, gay, like, young Republican fag shit, pretending like weed is bad. No one cares.

How do you move on? Yeah. It's not cute, Sager. Stop pretending you're not Indian because we all know. Yes, I'm sure weed makes people schizophrenic here and there. No one gives a shit. You're not, like, a part of some, like, charmed. charming, like, young Republican, like, thing by caring about that.

No one cares. You're not going to fuck Crystal. It's never going to happen. It'll never happen. She'll beat the shit out of you. Crystal looks like she could put you in a chokehold. Is she a hottie? I haven't seen her.

She's pretty attractive. I find her attractive. My mom, I was talking to my mom the day. My mom, like, hates her big shoulders and stuff. She's like, I hate Crystal. My mom was talking about Crystal Ball. She was, you know, yeah, like, is beating the shit out of women in the locker room or something. Act like she's Kathy Bates.

She's like a trans maniac. Your mom beats up with me. Your mom does rule. Your mom rules. Because my mom loved breaking points when she said something changed. I don't really know. I didn't get into it with her. Yeah, they went corporate.

Everybody goes corporate a long enough time along. Yeah, in a way, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I still respect that they do whatever, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. What's even the. point of the news. Yeah, what is the point?

I'm sorry, if you're doing the news and the, the, the, the three, on the ticker, it's like, Theo Vaughn. Theo Vaughn changed his opinion. I'm like, so you're not the news. You're talking about how Calketsky'll be like, do you see Theo Vaughn? Yeah, so, like, you're just doing clickbait shit. And I get you have to like make a living, but like, you're, you, you act like you're this, you know, you speak truth to, to, to, power. And you are, you still do have to put these, like, people's, these famous people in in your, in your headline. Like, you have to be like, sneako.

look at Sneko Snico's talking about how the riot is eating itself and the manisphere is like dying I'm like are you the news do you think like Walter Kronk I was like this week in the manosphere Yeah

Schneiko put his he did He did Heil Hitler And him and Nick Quenters are listening to Kanye's Heil Hitler in a limousine Why are you covering that? Who gives a shit? Walter Krong guy pulling off his glasses

and being like Erica Kirk got fucked in the ass Time is 3.5 15 Central and Erica Kirk's ass is full of cop. They're all dead, every bit of sperm. Some 15 minutes ago, J.D. Vance jacked off. J.D. Vance couldn't get hard. Finger fucked her asshole for a bit and then came soft.

He got caught liking a Buck Angel tweet some 20 minutes ago. J.D. started jacking off at 3.27 Central Time, and he came. to the bunk angel tweet. Good night and good fuck. But also, my thing is, like, are you not embarrassed? Because you'll see people, because these people think of themselves as journalists and stuff. And I'm like, aren't you like in your, like, so these people are like in their 40s and they're like, they have to watch like clavicular's stream. That's what I'm saying.

That's why I immediately, I'm like, I'm watching the news and you're mentioning clavicular. Hanging out of Andrew Dayt's house. Like, listen, I get that you're doing. doing the young person, like you're keeping up to date and you've got to be like relatable and cover, like, these are all cultural things, unfortunately, but like I get embarrassed that I'm watching you talk about. Yeah, when they're like, it's cringe. It's cringy.

Yeah, when they're like, big news, Kaisenatcha said he likes Tim Walz. Exactly. Nine hours into his live stream. And you, now you're covering that? Like, you guys, they have, they're extremely intelligent people that are political nerds. They know, they care a lot. But it just, I guess it kind of sucks because they have to make money by, you guys. using these people, you know,

in their titles to get some clicks. They wanted to be Kronkite, but their drive was too big. The Western media has been crumbling for two decades, four decades now. Yeah. So like, well, I guess I'll talk about, you know, I'll talk about Theo this week, I guess. Yeah.

Ted. Ted. Moments after declaring he used to talk to a raccoon, Theo Vaughan endorsed Tim Walls. Okay Gives his shit

Can he read? This just said Coming across my desk Breaking News Joe Rogan just called Tim Wall's kids A retarded fag The country mourns

That's one Giant cast for a man One small pod for Mankan The time is 420 Nick Fuentes says Heil Hitler Some 30 minutes ago Kaisenat finished the cat in the hat.

Took him some four months. This is one giant step for the black community. It's January 18th. Kaisenat, famous for chasing a mouse around his living room. Garnering a massive fan base shortly after. Drusky has, breaking news, Drewski has just won the Pulitzer Prize for his new sketch. titled When an Inword Get a Cheeseburger.

I'm Walter Cronkite hanging myself tonight. The time is... The time is 515. Time is 515. Kaysanat has found out from Kevin Hart that he likes eating ass. I wish you good night and I will be hanging myself in my Upper West Side apartment tonight.

There's such an excess of media like nothing. thing is. No. There's no point. It's meaningless. So I'm watching people that are good faith people on both sides that think they care. And they're just talking about like illiterate bozos. Yeah. Clowns.

Just they're talking about what a clown said this week because that clown holds some influence, I guess, over people that could be political. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, you might as well be walking up to a worm and holding a microphone to it. And being like, what do you think Trump disavows Epstein now? I'm going to hand it to a big worm. Who cares? Who cares?

Tell me the actual facts. Tell me all the knowledge that you have on this topic. And I don't want to hear you talk about another person's take on it. That's not, has nothing to do with politics. It isn't informed. And the problem is, it's also partly ours because if they started doing that, they would immediately be like, oh, our viewership dropped to 12 views. Exactly.

A week. Because it would be boring. Yeah, because we made. They'd be PBS. Yes. It would be PBS. They'd be PBS. They don't want to be PBS.

Yes. Yeah. They'd be lamb chop. There'd be four. There be four adults who still gave a shit Four like fucking Jews who listen to NPR Who tune in with their sweaters and they go Oh my God

So that does violate the Manrood doctrine And then they're like Now our findings been cut, we're shut off Yep Who cares? Yep Fuck it We should have talked about Druski this whole time

The power's been taken from the people though Even no one respects Reddit anymore Have you heard this news? Oh, this is terrible news The left is fallen That flesh limeliorator guy calls Reddit like a mass psychoso this event. He had a good video on it. But this was kind of funny.

Here, this is a Reddit moderator. He released a video explaining why he was dropped. From what? But a moderator is just, they don't work for Reddit, right? Somebody like made them a mod. No, they're volunteers. They're volunteers. But you wouldn't shit on a pro bono lawyer.

Yes, I would. So this is a... I'd walk right up to a pro bono lawyer. I'd be like, you could have made millions working for Chevron dumb ass. What is it nonprofit? Is that saying? No, it's pro bono. Okay, okay.

I got a friend. So what is, so I'm supposed to, so this guy's talking about how Reddit is, they're stifling the heck and good paparino subreddit? Devin, would you just like stop silencing the man? Clearly he's filled with, he went to Reddit University. Yes. Top of his glass.

Okay. Oh, let me unmute this here on my computer. There we go. Hello, Spez. Mr. CEO of Reddit. I hope you have received this public video that I have created and sent to you via your email. I'm Brian or Stale 2000 or Tarot card.

I was the top moderator of your number one gaming subreddit, R slash live stream fail. Before I was... So it's R slash live stream fail. Yeah. Which is a gaming Reddit of like... Something that if... Maybe a lady has a nip slip live on Twitch or something like that. And he... Yes,

he watches over... Pute Pie said the N-word on accident. Something like... Something that's kind of mildly enjoyable, but he got a little bit of power over it. thinks he's got so for anybody that doesn't know what Reddit is he is like the gatekeeper of what is allowed to be posted yes on our slash live and he keeps it civil if the things you get out of order they lock posts so people can't comment yeah if somebody comments something out

of hand he goes hey you violated the wiki and if somebody comments on their 14 year old girl he tries to fuck them in the defense that's what a mod does that's what a mod does yeah he looks like this guy looks like a pedophile for himself. He looks like he thinks of himself as a kid. And when he jacks off, he thinks he's jacking off a child. Yeah, when he was, when he was 12, he filmed himself jacking off to, he jack off to you when he's an adult. This guy looks like he carries a handkerchief with him for his cock and his nose.

Yeah. I have picturing his, like, dick and balls in a jar of cosmoline. Like, they do, like, old World War II rifles. You can still use them hundreds of years later. Yeah. Just so he's like that my dick is still set. He takes his dick and balls to conventions. He looks like he goes to, he's a big fan of like Civil War reenactments.

Man. Okay, keep it going. From that position by the Reddit Code of Conduct team, there was an announcement related to a live stream-related game show called Million Dollar fan. It was basically a game show like Survivor or Big Brother where fans of a streamer compete in different channels. challenges with an influencer or a streamer for various prizes. The kicker here is that there was a grand prize of $20 million, supposedly. But I also had a stretch goal, and that was, what if LSF could be part of the show in some way? I don't know, there could be like an LSF themed best clip contest, like contestants compete

and one of the kind of small challenges that make the best clip, and then somebody kind of wins a prize at the end. This felt like one of the coolest things that a subreddit has ever done. I mean, being in a freaking reality TV show in a topic that's directly related to the subreddit, how awesome. And where I can tell you, for those who, you know, may not believe that for most moderators, I'm a highly paid software engineer working in San Francisco. I do not need to take a couple thousand dollars. I call bullshit.

You kidding me? Really? He'll take a couple thousand dollars to fucking scoff like a black woman in Oakland. You know, he's got some weird fetish. Travels across the bay. He's like, I do not need a bribe. I will drive into the town and I will be Batman. That is town shit.

That's town business. That's town shit. That's town business. I will drive into the inner city and I will treat black men, treat black women like wippy cushions. I will sit on them until they explode. I am, I am the spawn of Satan. I like to sit on cakes. I make black women suck on my comb over until they kill themselves.

I'm the only man with a comb over and no hair still. Yes, it is me, the man who has offered a million dollars to Soidi to suck his ass. It's from, you know, random internet scams. Okay, it's really not the secret or very surprising. I got removed directly for the post that I pinned to the top of the subreddit related to the game show or supposed and alleged scam, as well as kind of for deleting comments that were kind of critical. 11. Reddit moderators have power. They have influence.

An even crazier story is a time when some Twitch employees found me in person and borderline begged me to make sure LSA... He does. Oh. Oh, he's a wild boy. He's a wild boy. He's a wild one. You see him he got like a little jokery right there. Yeah, he malfunctioned for a second.

I like him. Yeah. The Twitch employees, Devin, they begged him. They begged him. begged him. The Twitch employees. Twitch employees came to him on their hands and knees and begged them. It's me, an engineer with millions of dollars who can not get pussy at all.

I can't even get pussy at an Asian handjob place in San Francisco. They told me to go kill myself in broken English. It's so funny. It looks like he shops at a PGA tour superstore, but he doesn't even know what golf is. He gets shirts like that. He's like, what the hell is golf? Yeah, what the hell? I just want something that looks like shit.

and pokes my shitty nipples out. Does anyone else tired of women at massage pilers putting on hazmat sins before they jack you off? Is that just me? And we should make a law in this country that the Asian women at handjob places can't make fun of your tiny penis. Are they, they'll be killed. Here we go. This is not used to. I love how demented these people are.

The small amount of power. You know the fake, there's going to be a second where the fake screen behind them goes down and it's just CP Rams. It's just CP drives. CP and like Wayfu posters everywhere. He's like, oh my God, oh no. No. Destroy the multi-billion dollar company, Twitch. None of this would have happened if I had gotten support from Reddit.

If Reddit had offered me partnerships, if Reddit had pipelines to connect with kind of major companies, if Reddit had lawyers that were helping me, like, reading over these contracts, reading over these agreements, none of these very real mistakes that I made would have happened. Gloves off moment. Gloves off. Yeah. Gloves off. He's gone off. He didn't even type this out. He's not even on the computer.

I saw some real passion there. He's not even looking at anything. Some rates. He prepared his speech, but that was from the heart. This is him going from the heart. Yeah, yeah. 100%. Imagine the smug look on his face when he watched his footage back before he uploaded it.

The pride he had. Oh, yeah. For his fellow moderators. You know, he clicked... For the mods. You know, he clicked upload and he said, The Revolution was started. He put on, like, Neo's glasses and he put on, like, Neos' glasses and

and then play that rage against the machine song from the end of Matrix 1. And then walked to the corner to get a burrito. It's my fault or their fault. It's your fault, Spes. Here's why. Reddit moderators don't need Christmas celebrations or special badges or community or events

or team-building exercises. No, even the, I don't know, the Reddit event budget is barely useful. No, they need. real material support. That means access to anything that like a talent manager would give an actual celebrity.

So, an access to a bounty board or ad deals, or lawyers, or event organizers, or professionals, or anything that actually matters. To summarize, Reddit moderators should be treated like celebrities or

influencers, not because they deserve respect. It's so good. I know. It's so good. You would think it's like a Tim Robinson. They should be treated like celebrity. I know. It's so good.

This is like the guy at your middle school. You have to pull aside and they're like, hey, man, they're going to kill you if you don't shut the fuck up. Yeah. You think you're doing like a big Jimmy Stewart, Mr. Smith goes to Washington. You're about to get your shit kicked in. Oh, yeah. We got some ads real quick. Hey, Devin, can you bring me some toilet paper to blow my nose?

Sure. The doctors say it's not strep, by the way. Okay. They just say you're... They stuck a bunch of sticks in the back of my throat. out. They say your shit's just fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. They said it might be related to my autoimmune stuff.

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I go, that's blue chew. Who we do not like right now. And then I got to Roe and I go, ooh, delicious Roe. Oh, so strong. And then I blacked out from an erection on the way back to San Diego. Just having a blindfold on you and you reaching forward and taking the pill and then stroking your dick. And you're just like hymns. Yeah.

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I know you're on boner pills. I just thought you could molest me. You knew that? Well, shit, kid. All right, bend over. He gives him that carved chunk of wood with blood on it, and he's like, can you fuck me with this? That's my spec script batter, Santa. Yeah, he's a batter file this time.

That would be great. That's why the elf, he has the elf guy, obviously. So he can fuck him and pretend he's a kid. Yeah, which is a thing. He's a little person, yeah. I think it should be illegal to. Probably a hack angle, but I feel like it should be illegal. I've seen black dudes on Instagram that they have only fans and they have, have you seen the black, the tall skinny black guy with the dwarf lady.

I've seen a dwarf lady. I don't know if I've seen a tall black guy with her. They do porn and she like looks like, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know. They have like a reality TV show about themselves. I don't have you seen it that, man. It's like I love New York, but it's like I love CP.

It's unlike TLC or something. You learn a lot in that channel. I love the learning, the learning center. Let me learn. Is that what it stands for the learning center? The learning channel. The learning channel. You go, honey, we're going to learn tonight.

Let's put on the new show, talks. We're learning. Look, it's a lady that fucks her vacuum. They should call it the Leering Channel. Right? More like it. Yeah. Because of Nick Shirley.

Nick Shirley. I love Nick Shirley. But who's Nick Shirley here? He's a guy. He can't read. He's the fetal alcohol syndrome. He's the best journalist of all the time. He's on YouTube. Yeah.

What does he do? He was just the, he was the Gensy kid. He was the guy that went to the Somalian Dakers. Oh, yeah. Oh, that retarded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be careful. Comments are going to come after you.

Oh, sure. Relax, because there was real fraud. No, there was real fraud. You have to always say there's real fraud. There was real fraud. There was real fraud. There was real fraud. But the kid is kind of...

But he's also retarded. Kind of slow. He's also re-re. He was going to the learning center so he could actually enroll. Because he's that... He's that fucking retarded. I genuinely don't... I've not watched a single bit of content.

He just looks a little slow to me. He wants to put the N in the Lering Center. No wins on the sign or in the building. Very good. Very, very good. He goes, I know what you're thinking. I didn't steal that in. and to throw it black people.

I saw some clip. He's talking to Channel 5. And Andrew asks him, he goes, what politicians do you think are benevolent? And he goes, what do you mean? Like, he didn't know it.

He means season two of Marvelous Miss Maisel? He's like, is that the new MCU show? I don't know. Who's benevolent? Is it like an Avenger? What is it? The Maleficent Miss.

Oh, the Green Lantern. Oh, shit. Yeah, I fuck with that one. That's like Violet. Right? He also, he also keeps saying, You like did it, like, condemned the death of Charlie Kirk, and Callahan's like, we did.

I did a video on it, like, the day after it happened. Why is that relevant? And then he's like, I didn't see it, so it didn't happen. Yeah. He's basically like, it wasn't in front of me, so you didn't. Yeah, no, he's literally the guy where he's like, well, you're retarded and not ruled. Nick Shirley's great. He, like, he seems like, you know, he'd be at the other end of a softwood underbelly video.

He looks like one of the Whitaker. He literally looks like a guy that would be interviewed by the softwood underbelly video. Underbelly guy. But instead, Nick Shirley brings his own Digi Mike. He's like, no, I already got, I bring this everywhere. I'm hooked up to always film the soft white underbelly video. Don't you worry. It's like deliverance if they had Digi mics.

Yeah, that one cousin barking, he's like, that's right, that Black Star Stealing. It was real. It was real fraud. I've watched Nick Shirley for a while, actually, before he blew up. I've been on to Shirley. Devin, Jason, you didn't know, we keep this from you because you're lit, but Devin loves Nick Shirley. He's a huge fan.

Devin goes to the coffee shop at Echo Park wearing a deliring sitter hoodie. Oh my God, you have no idea how angry my foe places at me for the Nick Shirley videos blasting. You're watching on your iPad? I watch Nick Shirley. It's Nick Shirley at like a, you know, a United Kingdom protest where it's just a bunch of guys being like, we go these packy bosses out of it. That's good. No, here's the failure of Levera does that now. Tala Olivares does great work.

I've talked about this on Haywatch, but it's like, Tyler does great work. They all have, like, I think, right wing slants. Sure. Because that's why they're good. You know, that's what gets the clicks. You know, you go out there and you get...

It's more agro. You get an African guy to chase you with a fake Academy Award around the Eiffel Tower. He's trying to bludgeoning you with a fake Academy Award outside of the Eiffel Tower. You're going to get some clicks on that. He went to India and people were eating poop off the floor. It's guys literally trying to bludgeon him with a turd. Like a big sword. And you're like, this should not be allowed that you found this.

I don't like that. And any guy driving a big turd. Like the beep, beep. Yeah. Hello. Hello, my friend. Hello. I am driving my food.

I'm driving my dinner. No. I have a driving my dinner to my home, which is also a big poop. Yes. It's kind of like James in the giant beach, but everything is shit. And we're all bugs. James and the giant crap. Yeah, James and the giant shit.

He's doing juries. Journalism. Chihir on the giant shit. It's journalism, but it's an Indian guy that's that he regenerates in a vat of diarrhea. Like it's the movie Wanted. It heals all his wounds. Yeah, he can curve the shit. This white tourist bitch does not think I'll throw my cum at her because she's around the building.

Watch this? And then you just whips his dick and the cum just fucking one-eight. really tiny penis. He was just really tiny penis and the cum just curves right into her fucking face. That rules? Yeah. Unwanted. No, but I, Nick Shirley, up until this video, I always knew he was like a Trump kid.

I just, I knew he was just like, you know, his parents or Trump or whatever. Sure. He's Trump. But he would just literally go to protest and just ask people what's going on, that type of thing. So I actually had been, not on his side, but I would watch the videos and I guess get suckered into the same traditional thing where you go like, wow, they're all treating him like complete shit and he's not doing anything. He's literally just there and white and asking questions. And then everyone's like, this guy's a Nazi. And he's like, how am I a Nazi? And they're like,

you're fucking not, you know, and they just shove him around. And then it looks really good for his. Yeah, yeah. It's content. Yeah. Content is kidding. But then that one was that one, he's, he's, it got too big. He's big now. Yeah, it got too big. It's, you know, loves Nick Shirley. Shirley. Shirley is good about. be around sure whatever for a long time he's taking over for bonjino surely bonjino Bing bong bonjino Bing bong bonjino right back to his tight shirts again where he's always meant to be back to the pod Looking back to the pod for you former FBI what was he the FBI guy devon listen the FBI is a podcast Yeah if you should subscribe and support them they're good that guy's doing great work they have

podcasts are you on the FBI's page round they say they say it there What if the FBI's a patron, they're just like, yeah, we fucking killed that stupid. Boop. Yeah, he thought he could just go stand outside his motel room. Yeah, but of course we killed them. They're just like, dude, check this out. We got 30 minutes of him fucking Merrill and Monroe. We're going to play it now.

Yeah, we have some change in our pocket, Malcolm X. Yeah, we did it. Of course we did it. Who gives, what you gonna do, bitch? Gives a shit. Fuck you. Sirhand, sirhand. You guys thought that was a real person?

Are you kidding me? That's Cash's dad, idiot. I love Dan Bondino because he got elected or whatever. And he was like... Or picked, yeah. And he was doing the... Jake pointed this out, but it's this Gen Xer thing of like, you won't like me when I'm angry.

Type thing. They do this like punisher where he's like, literally he gets in and he's supposed... He's going to like expose all this Epstein stuff and like the swamp and stuff. And he's like, Daddy's Home. Yeah. And then he leaves. He literally tweeted out, Daddy's Home.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's kind of like a Mark Wahlberg character and a terrible comedy. I know. I know. I know. He's like if Mark Wahlberg didn't have driver talent at all.

Exactly. And now Bongino, I think, is like, I think he's like stealing Dave Smith's child from his room right now. Like the Lindbergh baby. He's like, he's like, he's going after Dave Smith's family. Oh, good, good. He's like, I got to get the views up. Let me pick Dave Smith. But you're all right.

He did tweet. He's like, he said, go fuck yourself and have a great weekend. Yeah. That's sick. It's Reddit Occupy Government is what it is. He's like, if you need me, I'll be doing moisturizing that makes me look like a dick poking out of a foreskin more. He didn't do anything. Didn't expose any of the corruption?

No. Didn't it take down any of the... Every interview is just, they go, so how's Hollywood? He goes, it's really hard. I have to work like all the time. Oh, really? I haven't seen that. There was like so many areas where he was like, I worked like nine to fucking eight today.

You're fucking sucks. I'm a podcast. That's great. Yeah. He didn't want to get killed. All these guys, they should just say, like, I didn't want to die, so I quit, and I can't, I can't actually, I can't actually fight for any of the things that I wanted to fight for before I got it.

But I'm here to sell Roe Sparks. But yes, erection pills. Exactly. I'm here to do shadow boxing on my YouTube podcast. I think he's the one guy who legitimately was like, I just, it's way too much work. I'm not fucking doing this anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean. Every interview, he's like, I miss my wife. Well, they realize this is actually, like, there's a lot of work to do with the administration because, like, everyone's being, like, shot at constantly. And, you know, like, there's, Cash Mattel probably can't believe how much work he's had to do. He's like, oh, my God, they shot Charlie Kirk. He's like, I'm doing a podcast.

What the fuck? I was going to do milk on Thursday. I was supposed to fly to USC so I could do this with Mel Gibson in a picture. Yeah, though, it's over for those guys. Yeah. That's what surprises me. That's why I know it's sincere about Nick Shirley. Because usually those guys, it's like Felix pointed it out on Chapo, but like, do you want all these guys to support you?

It's the most kind of vapid and empty sort of gesture there is. Their circles are just telling them Trump is cool, so you should be like on the Trump train. Remember Andrew Schultz running around with the American flag and all of them. super stoked but now it's not cool anymore and now they're kind of walking and Nick Shirley's like no I'm all about it no Nick Shirley yeah he's like he's like he's that's that's actually loyalty yeah at least he like lives that life at least he's about that life surely you know at least he's a fucking three string banjo he's full tar he's a full tar he's really gone for yeah you want to just be like but what about the pedophilia stuff that I thought your side I thought that

was the fucking QAnon shaman isn't even on board anymore. Jake Angelly? Jake Angelly hates. Because I thought that was the main thing. Jake Angelly? Yeah. He's a genius. Sean Strickland is calling.

He's a god. Jake Angelly. Someone say he's a god. Yeah. Like Sean Strzor, like retarded UFC guys are like, dude, Trump's a fucking pedophile. He's a fuck. Yeah, he said openly, stop, shut up. Yeah.

caring about this. He cares. Hey, guys. Yeah. Dan Bongino is finally the, you know, the cuffs are off. Right. Because now he's not on the FBI anymore. He's back to podcasting.

So, Daddy's home. Yeah, Daddy's home. And by that mean, more kids are going to get raped. Daddy's home. Daddy's home. Yeah. More children are going. Daddy's home.

Where do you think you're going? Trying to escape. Daddy's home. Get back in that Oval Office and on your knees. we're all pedophiles now yeah it rules yeah

yeah it's time to get to work what was the last year you could have done the work the last year when you had like the keys to the castle I was too busy fucking kids

all all child rape and no work makes Jack a come-down guy or whatever who gives a fuck yeah yeah

no I'm a big snakey slimy weren't. I'll do whatever. I don't give a shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's over for you. Liberal media.

Hey, liberal media. Yeah. Hey, liberal media, guess what? I'll still fuck that kid. I don't give a burn. Yeah, I was too busy in the FBI doing the finders. I was too, I was too busy in the tunnels. Getting, getting my due.

Get in my dude done. Get my goo done. Get my goo done. Hey, liberal. We're pedophiles now. We're pedophiles. A sick blues. We all fuck kids underground.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-now. Bill for tough. Fuck a kid. By the way, weird-looking black people in Minneapolis are fucked up. Look at them so we can fuck more kids. Dude, so they're building like a big ballroom thing with a thing underneath. I think it's going to be like a bunker type situation. Yeah, yeah.

Have you seen that, Devin? No. It's a checky cheap. I've seen a whole thread on it. I don't give a fuck. But they're probably preparing for like something really bad to happen. Nice. So then they can go underground.

And I know, I mean, obviously Trump has his fingerprints all over it. I got to know if there's like a sick game room or something. I got to know what's in that bunker. Yeah. What kind of snacks he has down there? What kind of movies? Like, what movies is he watching in an underground bunker? I know he's...

There's definitely, like, an airport McDonald's down there. Like, one of those... Three black people have to live... They drive to the White House. There's still three black people that work at the underground tunnel of the White House. And specifically, Trump's like, make them really shitty a name.

And they're jaded assholes. Because it always tastes better. Yeah, it's the nuclear bombs went off, and they're like, oh, how can we help you? Fuck It's so much better So everybody's dead shit He's like I want you to get me the meanest fat black woman

In the country Get me la Get me a little ya Get me a woman whose nails Look like an antieter's tongue And it goes Fuck what do you want Dead rules

Yeah but there's probably There's probably game rooms Have we hired the jaded blacks They break him out of a can like it's an emergency ration. They've been there since 19. Oh, it's an MRA?

Yeah, it's an MRE. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's an M. Hard R.E. It's a black guy from 1947. It's a mad hard R.E.

They pour Scatman crothers out of a can. He's like, how did they drop the big one? Shit. So, he starts scurrying around. They're like Scatman,

we have to give you a bunch of, tattoos that suck on your face so Trump's comfortable ordering from you Trump wants us to look exactly like the McDonald's Eggo Guardia, Gate 15 Everyone's so mean there

So Alex might hear this and get mad at us Alex, Alex, we love you We know you're wrong, I think Alex Jones, he has the same search words as Tyler Robinson This guy, I mean they're both watching the same shit Furry porn? Do you not know that Alex got caught watching Gay, he watches Transporn? Really?

He had to, like, own it. He's truned out? Yeah, he's truned out, man. How did he get caught? Was that just, are you just talking about his interview with Riley Gaines? Very good. Wait, who's Riley Gaines? The lady that, like, the little swimmer that, like, sucked ass at swimming.

Oh, I thought it was Mia Thomas. No, it was Riley Gaines. He was the trans person, but Riley Gaines is the one that her entire career is built on being really upset at Leah Thomas winning. But then you're like, Riley Gaines was like number six. So it's like there was still a bunch of, there's still people ahead of you.

You weren't even like, it wasn't like you and, it wasn't you and the cyborg. The cyborg didn't beat you. You lost to the cyborg and six women. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah.

But she's like, but if the trans person wasn't so gross next to me, I would have got first. I was grossed out. I couldn't swim. Yeah, I mean, do they cut their tits off, the swim faster? They got to have a tiny ass in tits, right? Yeah, yeah.

No, it was trans male to females. Yeah, I know, but the females got out. The women? Yeah, did the women cut their tits off? I think they just try to run a lot so their tits go away. So does Mia Thomas get big tit implants? Leah Thomas? No, I don't think Leah did anything.

I think that's the beauty of becoming a trans person that just swims. You're like, I really had to change nothing. Still had the dick, too? I think so. I'm sure it's down there. I think cock was flopping out while she was swimming. Yeah. Trailing behind her.

showing up to the female swimming competition and a speedo. Like, you look like Morat on the beach with the big... Rock hard. Literally, yeah. Rock hard, and then you lean over, you're like, I just took Rose Sparks. You're like, yeah. promo code lemon five years ago. Leah Thomas, you're like, I'm the worst nightmare of a black woman at Planet Fitness.

Oh, me? I was designed to get screamed at by a black woman. Yeah, I'm just hanging out in the women's restroom. This black woman that's had a horrific life is going to scream about me. Do that at my gym? I got someone who's, I think, they're fake trans. Okay. And they're trying to get a lawsuit going.

An FT. And I really respect it. It's an FT. They only wear a big crop top thing that says Barbie on it and it's pink. And it's a pink headband with like a fake ponytail and big like Elvis Presley glasses. Yeah. But they still like short short stuff. They go, Bonnie, I'm trans.

Dude, and they're benching like 300. Like they get down. They're like, it's fucking. Someone fucking spot. Yeah, they're like, throw some more weight on that rack. Come on! Don't!

Throw some four to that drink! But they have like a trans groucho mark. Yes. Mask on. They go, I'm dressed like a little bunny. I'm a woman. I kind of want to pull this person to the side and be like, look, I know what you're doing.

You're like, pull off. I'll take the fall. Yeah, let's cut the Mr. Potato Head shit. Listen, you cut me in 3070. That's what I'm saying. Listen. You're gigantic. Yeah.

Listen. Listen. You look like Roddy Coleman You're insane What I'm saying is I go I know what you're looking for You're looking for the money Let me sniff it out for you

Let's stage something People already think I'm racist as hell anyway Right listen This isn't racism but you know what I mean I like this you got like a Chad Powers going on I get 40 you get 60 I'll take the fall I'll make a big stink about it

Right We can stage a whole thing You win millions of dollars for sucking ass My podcast goes up. My Patreon is printing money. Printing money. It's a win. My Patreon turns into the Federal Reserve.

It's making so much money. Anyway, get in that women's bathroom and I'm going to go beat the shit out of it. I thought you a day-out. I do it really hate that. You go, okay, here's what's going to happen. You're going to walk into the women's bathroom and then I'm going to go, Horry! And then I march in there like a little Lego man.

And then I just beat the fucking shit out of you. I go, listen, listen, listen. I know it's going to be tough for you. If I curb-stomp you, on the sink of the LA fitness women's bathroom you're getting a cool 18 million no no no she goes to the men's

does not go in the women's I see her okay in the men's but she's still she still in the ass you cause a big stink well this is LA I don't think the women are going to cause a big stink about this

right that I think that's why she's going into the men's to maybe make some Armenian guy you know pull out a gun right right right right you know yeah you need she was she's waiting for a Persian man to hunt her.

Although he might just think she's the hottest woman who ever went. The hottest Armenian woman of all time. There's a Turkish guy or something. He's a Turkish guy being like, she's covered in the back head, bro. I'm going to fuck her making my wife. He's going and getting her ceramic lion surgery.

Looks like don't mess with the Zohan. He goes, we are going to turn you into a column out front of my home. You will look like a big, beautiful lion. We're going to get the doctor's going to put a little thing on you that shoots water out of your mouth 24 7 It's gonna be beautiful dude though It's like a big mermaid He goes bro bro meet my wife

And then it's just Mickey Stone mermaid He's like meet my wife and then he just pushes in a woman that's been encased in concrete With like bow their legs up like Just pause You go she's fucking beautiful man The economy is bad right now Sure Yeah of course

And people have the go-fund means because they said the N-word at the ball. Oh, of course. It's a whole industry. But what about the, let's get something going with the, I think. Isn't it such a hilarious beautiful time that like one of, like, back of the old, like, in the old days it was like, you know, you get your farmers. You got like an electrician. Yeah. Now it's like, I'm a racist.

It's like literally like an industry. You could just go be like a racist prostitute. If Richard Scarry was still making books, you would open it, and there'd be a cat just being accused of rape on Twitter. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I find it almost. I mean, it's a cute sign of the end time.

Of course. If you can't feed the end times. If you can't feed your family, though, what's stopping you from going fake trans at the gym and getting something going? You're going to get four or five million from the company. That's the easiest money you've ever made your life. Put that, put that in a low, low cost index fund. Exactly. That's a P500.

Who cares? International. Whatever. Just set it. it there, live off the interest. How do you think Warren Buffett made all that money? He made Charlie Munger dress up like a big chick. He beat the shit out of him.

I just read the biography for Buffett. He's like, I made all my money. I had Charlie Munger do blackface, and then I beat the shit out of him at Tulsa. That would be funny. It's 1939, and they're doing like slipping fall scams with being homosexuals. Yeah, Charlie Munger's slipping Jimmy from Better Call Saul. He's like, Charlie, I want you to go, you're going to go, eat a bunch of glass in that and say it was in your cassero at the restaurant weird thing so he knew larry king

in the franklin scandal i got that that was like page like that was at the very end like page 490 not the tv larry king larry king from the franklin scandal who was raping the kids yeah and buffett said he hated him yeah and never liked him never trusted him did he say because of the fucking kids thing in his biography uh because he just thought he was like a scam artist type of guy they also mentioned boys town which buffett exposed boys town in the early 70s for having a giant brokerage account with $155 million in it that Buffett got on a hot tip, no paper would publish it. He went to the press with it and published it himself and even quoted a Bible verse in it. So if they had any leverage on him with like trafficking the kids from Boys Town, then he wouldn't

have gone to the paper with that. Also, another thing is he published a story in his own paper that he owned on Bohemian Grove. Buffett did. Yeah, because he found it interesting and they should publish everything that is like, you know, true. I didn't know that they were raping kids out of Boys Town. I didn't know that was the name of the place they were raping kids out of. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of kids that, you know, they just go missing out of there. That's literally like you named a store for a patafiles.

Welcome to preschoolville. Boystown. Hey, welcome to Boys Town. Do you want anything? We have a two-for-one special. You literally like, because it was the night, there was no. internet back then so it was literally like Larry old ass Larry King like opening a paper

and being like Boys Town you say let me check this place out Larry King wasn't even that well this is a different Larry King yeah but it's I still can't stop thinking of real Larry King I know it's unfortunate isn't it where he looks like a little Capuchin monkey he's like I want your most

supple tie boy so you eat ass yes I know we go to the phones what's your favorite type of boy to fuck I love watching Larry King interviews, and he's like, he always says he's just a kid from the Bronx. It's like, let's relax. You're 94 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was just listening to the thing. Judd Apatow is making a big documentary about Mel Brooks. Sure. Oh, I can't wait for that whole part about all the N-words and the Blazing Saddles. I'm sure that's going to be really fun. Well, yeah, because he attacked Carlin and the other one for, like, being a bad dad and falling into cocaine use. That really bothered me. Me too.

It felt like at the very end he had to be like, yeah, and he just got bitter. And it was just like he kind of turned into his worst nightmare. You know, I'm like, okay. Whatever. Yeah, it felt like he was making a documentary to kind of piss on his grave a little bit. A little bit, a little bit. What nerve do you have? I saw your special, Judd Apatow.

Yeah. What nerve? Like, what a, but this Mel Brooks thing is all about like, Mel Brooks was in World War II. Right. Right. And he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he was just a kid from, like Mel Brooks is sitting there's 90.

The documentary is called The man who was 99 years old or something like that. I heard Mel Brooks. The 99-year-old man. It's based off the 2,000-year-old man, like the 100-year-old man. Mel Brooks killed Nazis by showing them spaceballs. You know that? And they got so outraged. They go, this sucks.

You hate spaceball. Oh, yeah, you hate spaceball. I think baseball sucks my ass. You don't like John Candy or Rick Moranis? I don't care. I don't remember it. I just remember renting it and being really excited and even as a little kid, be like, this sucks my ass. I hate this movie.

Then you've always been a hater. I love Mel Brooks, but I hate it in Spaceball's. Oh, yeah, I love Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. Did you watch Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein first before Spaceball's? I knew, yeah, I was a fan of Mel Brooks. I just remember literally renting Spaceballs and be like, this is not funny today. We got, we had to watch Spaceballs for 10 years first. I heard every, all the kids like you guys talking about Spaceball, so I had all this hype and I was like, what?

We knew Spaceballs and Robin Hood Minentight. So to me, that was Mel Brooks. I'm maybe wrong. I'm doing a whole joke based on my opinion at like, you know, 12. Sure. But I didn't enjoy it. Well, it's Elon Musk's favorite movie, so... And there I go, I win.

I win. The least funny man to ever walk the face of the earth. I can't even... I think it rules. Spaceboats? Space bolts? The shorts. It sounds like the force, but it's different.

They're making fun of Star Wars. Which I love, because I'm an epic nerd. I'm a nerd, but in the cool way. But it's, like, cool and fun. My point is that Mel Brooks... Can I send you my cup? Mel Brooks is, like, richer than anybody on Earth. Yeah.

He's tons of money. He's sitting in Bel Air. He's 90. nine years old and he has the skin of a bullfrog. He's got so many sunspots. And he's sitting there and he's like, at my heart, you know, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. It's like, okay, let's drop it. You're in Bel Air.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not, you're 99. You've been, you've been... Can you drop it at 99? This, like, I'm just a kid from New York, horseshit, drop it. Yeah. Let's drop it at 99. Let's leave that in the past century. Hey, you've been a millionaire for 75 years. You've been a millionaire longer than my grandpa's been alive, so maybe the kid from Brooklyn thing doesn't wear it anymore.

Let's stop acting like you're shooting jacks and playing marbles and you got a nickel and you're going down to the pinnest door. Shut the fuck. You're jumping rope with a fire hydrant going off in the summer of 38. It's over. You were riding on Cesar in 1949. Let's knock it off. Your best friend was like Norman Lear and Carl Reiner.

If you talk to a kid from Brooklyn, you'd shoot him in the head. If a kid from Brooklyn showed up at your door, you'd freak out and blow his fucking brains out. She drives me nuts. I hate when New Yorkers do that shit. Listen, you know, at hot, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. Dan Bongino did that. What did he say?

He said, so let me tell you right now, in my Queens, New York accent right now, kindly, go fuck yourself and have a great weekend. Let me tell you something. My entire identity is based off where I was born, which sucks fucking ass. And everybody's from their success. And everybody's their success. And just basing your identity off where you're born sucks because it means you nothing. You're a cup. That water got poured in.

until you never poured it out and put new water in. I fucking suck and I'll beat your ass because I watched a Martin Scorsese movie 20 years ago and I based my whole personality around. I said this to Devon the other day, but they say people in L.A. are crazy because people move here and they want to play the characters and the stories,

but then people in New York think they're the characters in the stories. It's like you're more insane. Because we ain't suspended, we go, we're not. No, we're not that. We like watching that and like we love to see that. But they actually think that they're, They mistake themselves for...

Have you met people from New York, they think they're in the mob? They think they're Tommy DeVito. They're insane. Yes. They actually think that they like been like holding up like, you know, truck drivers that night. And shooting a gut in the air like, whee-hah! You're not Tony Soprano. No, you're not.

You're not interesting. Want to know what you are? You had a sandwich with capicolin at once. You're a faggot. You're a retarded, probably illiterate fagot. And you grew up around a lot of brick bill. No one gives a shit. And you're probably wildly racist, too.

No, dude, where I'm from, where I'm from, they don't do. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. You don't understand where I come from? Where I come from, we make big dinners and then we eat them. We do shit differently in Brooklyn. We get it.

No, listen. No, where I'm from, we got the hot jetina. Well, listen. You put the hot relish on it. Yeah. No, listen. Where I'm from, we hate black people with the passion. while not realizing we're the exact same

as all the stereotypes about them. Yeah, see, the thing about me is, like, I'm like a white black guy, but I hate blacks. Even though I'm the darkest white man you've ever seen. They look at me and they think I'm trash. Spike Lee looks down on me. By the way, I will equally show on LA right now.

I keep getting, I download Instagram, I get fed reels about Max and Helens in Larchland Village. Of course, Burden L. Oh, the Phil Rosenfall diner? I think it's a Nancy Silverton. It's Nancy Silverton and Phil Rosenwald. Oh, fuck right off. Bill Rosenfeld started it.

I've seen Kumail Njiani wearing Max and Helen hoodies and John Mullaney's there. It's a modern diner that's like designed to be like an old style diner, which I'm all for. But if there's like a, you know, you have to get reservations months in advance to go to a diner. It's a four-hour wait on it if you want to go. It's a fucking burnt waffle. It's just, you know, Phil Rosenthal's just lived the greatest life of like anyone could never imagine. Yeah, waltzing through. Just every day.

of his life is just a, oh, that's a cutie, patupi, I get, oh my God, I'm being sent to Singapore. Oh my God. I'm just kind of, I, I'm not funny, but I'm going to eat all the best food and dance with my wife. Oh, I'm a billionaire because once I said, what if the grandpa lives with them in the show? He goes, I asked Ray Romano, he said his parents lived across the street. I go, we should keep that in the show.

Now I have a billion dollars. And now I'm a billionaire. This, like, rich guy cosplaying as the working class, like, look, we're in a diner. The way like the lower middle class, like this is where they eat. But it's great. But it's $80 for the swathold. But it's really expensive so there's no fucking pause in you. Yeah. It's like, and it sucks dick.

The Max and Helen thing. It's almost like, in a weird way, it's almost like. Well, you know the branding is it Max and Holland. They're pretending it's an old lady and old guy that's been there forever. I wonder what I think of when I hear this. Go on. I can't not think of just like an old Jewish man having a stroke with potato salad in the back of his throat at like a diner. And in a weird way, you're like stroke maxing.

like I envision you're just kind of like you're almost it's it's this like fetishization of like old the Jared Jews

that's shit like like like dying with jello in their mouth be like well that's I met your mother in the camp that's where I met

you're like oh my God she gave me an HJ Your mother was the biggest horror in doghouse. She was known as the horror of docca. They called her the horror doc cow. She could fan the chimneys just with a mouth. Turn my dick into a smoke snack.

Oh, my gosh. She killed six million of my children. You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about my Jewish cotton. It was great because she was so thin. She didn't have her period. She couldn't get pregnant. I couldn't eat

I could teddy fuck a ribs When do we stop? I'm sorry You know what's funny I've been reading mouse this week So that's why I thought of it I don't know mouse The graphic novel about

What if Mice were Jews It's American tale Wow, what if Yeah, it's American tale But they get Holocaust Who wrote it Hitler? What the fuck? Who wrote this book?

It's a matter for rats We're Jews It's a Jewish cockroach And he has cockroach It's a cockroach It's a cockroach family of Jews. Go on, Jays. Sounds great.

It's very good. And so every Jewish person is a mouse, and then the Nazis are cats, and then they all get killed at the Auschwitz. The Nazis are way more awesome. Well, it's actually funny because it won the Pulitzer Prize in 91, and I think Spielberg made an American tale in like 86. So it's clearly an American tale. It's like an animated... It's a comic book, graphic novel. And it won the Pulitzer Prize for literature.

A graphic novel won the Pulitzer Prize. Yeah. The only time that's ever happened. Yeah. Guy named Spiegelman wrote it about his dad, about his dad, who was in the, who survived the Auschwitz. They do weird shit like that. Like, they gave Bob Dylan it a couple years ago.

I think it was the Nobel Prize for literature or something. Yeah, for writing. Just for lyrics. And it's like, well, I don't know. They gave Kendrick Lamar the Pulitzer Prize for being black. They do love to do that shit. And he's great. He's great.

But, you know, it's awesome. You know, they gave fucking Barack the Nobel Peace Prize. Right. He bombed seven countries. Right. Those ceremony, those award people, they're always wrong. And usually they have to award the book to some, or award the medal, the honor, to someone way after the fact, either in their death. Or to a book that they put out that kind of sucks ass and everyone knows it sucks ass.

But they're like, we didn't know the sound and the fury was good. We thought it was bad, but we were proven wrong by time and by people that can read and have their own thoughts and stuff. And a lot of times they go, all right, this year, the Pulitzer. prize goes to juice mouse you want we really care about juice this year it was written by a jew it was written by yeah spigelman i think art speakleman is his name yeah i'll allow it yeah the whole max and helen thing though like i get like i do love that type of shit we love diners sure but not when a diner has 80 thousand followers on instagram yeah after a certain point it's like enough enough though like it's like is is the party ever over for you yeah i mean somebody feed phil is on like

season five i watch the show i watch every season but i'm just fascinated I'm like, but why you? You're not funny. But they're giving them free trips to space. And you're going to the greatest places on Earth. It's filmed like it's filmed like it's the revenant. It looks amazing. What's the show called?

Somebody feed Phil. Yeah. But it's, you're right. Somebody, somebody feed Phil. But it is, I think we talked about in Haywatch, but it is Phil Roosevelt being like, so this is a little buried on a stick. My favorite episodes are like, it'll be him in like the south side of Chicago. And he's talking to like these like black people that like, they've, they've, started a community garden on like an old like an old school bus and and he's like tasting their

radishes and he's like uchi-cucci-coo! That is a tasty radish! And he does like a dance and then you just watch some lady with like a bullet wound or cheek. He'd be like, yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah. Little Ray, you made a great radish. Oh my God. Why the chief keef killed little Jojo? I can see why these bitches love so sad. This I Love L.A. shit. I even saw it here when I was at the Starbucks getting a coffee and I pulled out and it's just the I Love L.A. type cast standing outside of a place called Macha Heaven or something. L.A. It sucks my fucking dick.

Because everyone hears not from L.A. Sorry. You're constantly. I've lived there 12 years though. You're constantly, you get an unofficial pass. You're constantly dealing with people that are the shittiest kid in their family. L.A. is full of the shittiest kid in every family in America. Like, it's the kid at the table that's just like, meh.

And then they move here. And then everyone goes, L.A. sucks. It's like, no, that kid is from Iowa. He's a fag from Iowa. His dad wants to, like, drown him in the lake. I will say those people move back after two or three years. They can't cut. And then they talk shit about L.A.

And it didn't work out. But also, to be fair. Most of them don't. But also, all of them move within, they call it the three-year hump out here. Yeah. But also, to be fair, Devin's not walking. around like like oh la fucking toast that's nine dollars right no we don't think about you we're having a great time you're gonna new york it's fucking january it's 82 degrees every day it's hot

it's summer yeah it's hot and i have the winter flu somehow i'm like i'm like it's hot out exactly i'm sweating exactly exactly exactly we deal with that that's what we deal with hey fucking boba it's a little dry where i grew up we get a cup of boba we go we deal with it yeah bro from down the way The corner kids, you know, you go to the boba shop, you know, the Asians are doing homework, you know, you get, you get the, you get the boba tea. You watch, we might be drunk on your phone. That's what you're doing, you know, I'm a corner kid. You're around the way. At my heart, I'm just a kid from Atwater Village.

Growing up here. I remember playing stickball going getting dune, the grilled chicken plate. Yeah, you know, you get the gluten-free bread, the bubbing grandma's gluten-free bread. I'm just a kid A kid from Largemont Village Just around the way Largemont Village You know

Don't know Those bagels Yeah I remember I remember my My Papa Antolli Will wake up And we go to the farmer's market

At Largemont Then we go up To the Hollywood sign You go up Yeah You bring your grandma Some of your cupcakes from Locke You know

You're bringing the Locke cupcakes Yeah I remember every year on my birthday My Pop Pie Anatole He found World War II He took me to the Gulf Wank store

across from canons. And we never saw Tyler the Korea. Just like able Ferrari. You'd run in like Earl Swecks shirt. I kind of, I also kind of love the... Earl Sweat shirt is the... He's the Able Ferraro of L.A. Of blacks.

Vincent Gallo is Tyler the Korean. Very good. Yeah, that's good. Very good. I forgot what I was going to say. Amy Mann's the Erica Badu Well, do you forget because you're high Because of the weed out there

I was gonna say It's funny, like part of your personality Is like a slice? Yes If you're from New York I'm like isn't that for like kids? Yeah, it is Isn't pizza like for it's like

It's a child And pizza rules Like all kid food rules But like Ben you don't understand Part of my personality Is something I had nothing to do with But a bunch of other people perfected You don't understand

And then I simply eat I eat it I consume and that's I bought it and I ate it and then I claim this. Me, my identity is being the hungry hungry, hungry caterpillar. I'm a fucking waste of carbon.

Yeah. That's what we're saying. They'll talk about breakfast sandwiches. You didn't, you guys that's a greed. Is it being a little greedy now? The sandwich was made for you by somebody that you hope gets sent to alligator Alcatraz. You're a racist

retard. A piece of shit. Fuck the Yankees. Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck your greasy Yankee cap You suck ass

You're not interesting You said he's a piece of shit Yeah Get him Yeah Yeah My chine Don't you like my chine

Mine Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chai Mine And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Koochin'i

Don't you like my chain mind Y'all' Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci I came to the club Just to fuck my chain line Catch another charge and I'm going to the chain guy

I think I'm icy sex and white screen Don't you see how bright it is See these girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is Be so sparkingly they think my chain was smooth I get off and bought the ch-a-tall- Don't you like my chain Mine and I'm popping off the chain And my check a bit so fruiting You call me Gucci Gucci

My chain Don't you like my chain Mine y'all in Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain And my Jacob is so fruiting Ain't know you call me Gucci Gucci Gucci you be shy Gucci you be shining man

Don't turn me on home Tell me who you're because I got this chain Stones hollin My chain hanged to my shoe sprang Like my watching wine But I know you love my chain My giant, you thought of goose, so I bought the stupid. Don't you like my chine mine, and I'm popping off the chain.

And my Jacob is so me Gucci Gucci. My chain, my chine, don't you like my chine mine? Y'all goochie mine, and I'm popping off the chain. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci, Gucci. My first chain I had to rob for it. Jesus peace, yellow diamond sitting all in it. I'm on some slick brick shit.

2006 Mr. T Diamond's so bright Ain't a way you can't see the G Look I don't dance I just lean with it My piece is sick Gary Robert trying to leave with it I got that New York fitted on Full suit dicky on

Gucci link chain Blue stones in a nigga charm Now watch me do it Do it with no hands Trappes when he crayon on that bezel And that band Cause I'm the man Got no wife but my chain

Got my girlfriend Don't you like my chine mine? Yung Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chine. And my Jacob is so fruited. Gucci, Gucci. My chine. My chine. Don't you like my chine mind?

You're uncoochoo mine and I'm popping off the chain. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine or you call me Gucci Gucci.