lemonparty - 170: Thank you, Shaq

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

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Take your time. Tangled up in blue. You a band from YouTube for threatening Jeff Dye. You're all tangled up in blue. Never thought you'd have to wave and say goodbye. You and die. You can stop this whenever you want, Dye. It's all up to you.

Yeah, Dye. Free, free LP. Jeff Dye's sitting next to Jeannie Bus right now. Looking out from his phone. It's scanning the room. Oh, looking out on the lookout. Looking out for lemon bombs. Yeah, he's being hunting like, like, uh, Syraconnair on line right now.

Very funny, he was immediately blamed. Yeah. We didn't say anything. Didn't say anything, yeah. And they're like, we all know Jeff Dye is the, he has the shadow puppet behind you too. He's in control of everything. Wow, look at that. Free LP.

Free my N-word LP. We're in prison for no reason. other than threatening a man a thousand times in a row. We didn't do anything. It doesn't make sense. That was nonsense. And, you know, Jeff should be working until the day he, no pun intended, dies, to get us back on YouTube because. We've decided the bullying will stop when Jeff die gets our YouTube back.

For his own sake. For his own sake. I mean, I love the tweets. I love his memes. I love his jokes. I love his mind. Uh-huh. Nobody can put...

I just tried to pull up YouTube, but I forgot it says this account has been terminated for a violation. Oh, you can't even look at... I can log it to our clips channel. That's the only way I can get on YouTube now. Yeah, we're not allowed to look...

We're not allowed to watch Jeff die on YouTube anymore. So I got to re-authenticate this because it says your channel won't be put back on YouTube at this time, so I got to switch accounts now and get it authenticated. Yeah, switch over the clips. I guess for audio, listen.

Listeners that don't know what's going on. We got YouTube completely deleted. Yeah, but all the channels, they're all gone. Just all gone. You have to go to a YouTube pilot program to apply for a new channel? They already rejected me for that. It's like reorientation. We're not allowed to have a channel, basically.

I'm not allowed to be on YouTube. Yeah. So what do they, like, what do we have to do? What do we have to take a Jeff die class? Like traffic school? They show you clips of this podcast. They go, this doesn't suck ass. Be nice.

They go, when you can make it through the whole class without threatening to do harm. Yeah. Then you get your YouTube back. When Jeff Dye said, what if an ice officer was shot? Would you guys be sad in the same way? That's good. That's a good. That's a good.

And it is a joke. And that's a joke. And that's comedy. A joke is saying a sentence. That's what a joke is. I'm telling you. I mean... My favorite thing about...

Can I tell you my favorite thing about Die, Devin? About Jeff Dye. Of course. Is that he won't, he won't give up, even though he really, really should. Yeah. And it should be in, he's like, I was thinking on the way here, he's kind of like in Rocky, you know, when he's like, hey, ref, I didn't hear no bell. But he immediately gets knocked the fuck out again.

Yes. But just keeps doing that over and over and just getting the shit. Yeah. Beat out of him over and over. Yeah, that's the beauty. He's so dumb, he'll never stop. Mm-hmm. You know.

Coming back. Yeah, you can't knock somebody out that has no brainwaves. He's an unstoppable. force. He's almost like a terrorist. He has nothing to lose. Yeah. Nothing's going on up there. He's just a complete grifting hack. And he might not have had anything to do

with us getting banned off YouTube, but he better, if that's the case, you better try, get us back on, buddy. Because the fans have started a narrative. We have no control over. We have nothing to do with this. I'm just going to keep quote tweeting you and say that this rocks. And it's not my fault

what happens after that. Which is bullying. Bullying to love you. The saying is comedy is good is actually bullying. I love you. That's how bad his comedy is. You're fantastic. And I love how you put way too many extra words in every joke that you tweet. It's really good. I love how it's hard to actually read your comedy. Yeah. I said, I think I said out of a, it's like 1980s, like conservative hack if he was like Vincent Chase and entourage. Like there's this, he's just like got an entourage vibe to him, but he's doing 1980s. Yeah, he's trying to be like, hack comedy.

He thinks he has like takes. I don't know. We can't keep talking about this guy. I have clips, though. That has clips. Once he downloads like four different VIPNs. He was on Jamie Kennedy's podcast. Yeah, that's what...

That's insane. That's like... I list it twice. That's like the De Niro to DiCaprio pipeline, but for two absolute retards. Like Jeff dies taking the baton from Jamie Kennedy. Yeah, retarded alcoholic to... retarded guy who with no living anymore.

Yeah. Yeah. Truly, I saw Jamie Kennedy do stand up like five years ago. Me too. I followed Jamie Kennedy once. Really? Yeah. What was that like? Did he bury you? No, no one had any clue what he was set. It was like a dolphin wigger on stage.

No one had any clue what he was doing. Yeah, he got mad at us because we didn't applaud that he was, he like made a joke about doing cocaine. And he's like, normally that gets an applause break. And we're like, well, Well, because you're at the comedy store with people who have been raped to death. Who want to cheer for a cocaine, Jek. That sucks ass.

Also, you look like the inside of a butthole before it gets to the whole part. That's your whole skin. With your puby beard. What are you guys? What's your consensus? On the YouTube? Yeah, Matt, what do you think? I mean, come on.

There's like seven different people that could have, you know, made the call. Yeah. You think it's that? Well, I mean, these people have connections. Through CAA, UTA, they make one call. They have a YouTube guy. He goes, and he flips a switch. It's all it is.

It's how the business works. And now we're getting, I have two or three prospects right now that say we can get back on YouTube. Yeah, we just have to pay a lot of money. I've been quoted between $10,000 and $15,000. Yeah. And then there's no guarantee it stays. We're like, what does that mean? Are we okay?

Is that even real? Does the guy just take our money and leave? We just PayPal a guy, 15 grand. He's like, all right, bye. What the fuck does that mean? It's kind of like, When I worked in the weed industry, the DWP does that, too. Yeah, you said they would just show up, right?

No, DWP has guys that are, like, in their own little gang in the DWP. They find out you're running, like, a grow-op and using weight. You know, the electricity of the water is so insane. They're like, well, that's weird. They go, they cut your wires. You're like, fuck. You lose, you know, $40,000 that month because the water doesn't, isn't all. Yeah, all your weed plants die.

And they leave you messages, like, if you give us $50K, we'll turn it back on, or we'll report you, or, you know, this is technically illegal. And then they make money on the side doing that. Yeah, there's every social service possible. Even YouTube has the mob in it. Yeah, so there's some YouTube guy that's like, listen, you slide me 10K, you could say the Edward. We'll put you back up. You give me 15K?

You can tell Jeff died of kill himself. Listen, we got to get approved with the families, but you might be able to do it. I know a couple slurs fell off a truck. We can hook you out. If anybody else, you found these slurs on the street side. Yeah, like the scene in Goodfellers where they're selling cigarettes and the cops pull them. Yeah, this boxes of slurs.

We got taken, the clip channel got taken that for prolonged slurs. Yeah, which I don't know what means. What does that mean? It's like, fath. Yeah, homophobic guy falling off a cliff. YouTube's like, that was way too long. Make it short and sweet.

That was 20 hours. Keep the slurs short and sweet. It's going to be so hard for you to log back into YouTube. Well, no, now they logged me out of X because I had to log into our different email for this is an unbelievable right here. You're being cyber attacked right now.

That was truly, it was true. Well, at least a lot of the big dog shouted us out online. Yeah, the whole Calvary came. At least the Calvary was there. Yeah, and there was a lot of helpful guys with forefathers being like, here's what you got to do. And I'm like, well, you don't have, why would you know? Yeah. No,

I know. People like Rumble. Rumbles the future. Yeah. You get messages on Instagram with like a guy that runs like a Hot Wheels channel. And he's like, no, man, what you got to do is you just got to change your algorithm, you know? That's how I get seven views on my Hot Wheels videos. Do you like me?

Do you like me? Did I save the day and you love me now? Please say I saved the day. What a horrible. I got six. We got sick the day it happened. We both got sick. We were both sick the day it happened.

Yeah, I got Ben's kids disease. And then I got a texting while driving ticket. First ticket I've gotten in like 13 years. On the way, you got a ticket in like Wayne Castor, right? On the way to my mom in the middle of nowhere. I have like a tinted window too, so I don't know how the guy saw me. And also, I was just scrolling real quick to change a song. I wasn't like, you know, texting actually.

Yeah. The cop was driving past meth labs to pull you over. Yeah. Also, every car has a giant plasma screen TV in the front of it. I don't even know how that. That's still a law. Was he a cocksucker to you? Matt, huge cock sucker energy.

Immediate, just like, what a piece of shit. Was it motorcycle guy? No, suburban. Okay. Fucking, like, Ford Explorer guy. Rap around Shades guy. Yeah, to the point where he asked me for my insurance, and then he's just like, which is what's company? And I was like, State Farm, and he was like, he just left.

And then he's like, it doesn't even fucking matter. Here, I'm robbing you. Just you'll give me money later. Give me $500. I need a shiny new guy. I got to get out of here. I got to go fucking kill a nurse. We found clips of a nurse who's reading up

nursery rhymes to children We've got to go kill him They killed him because they heard he was an RN We got to get rid of these They're taking over Minneapolis These R-Ns There's something about that Because it's George Floyd

The lesbian lady And then this guy It's like the Bermuda Triangle Of white people And black people getting shot Yeah But more importantly the white people More importantly the white

There's a white genocide going on in Minnesota But this is what they were talking about. This is what, it's crazy. There's like some weird Somalian voodoo they're doing over there. They've cursed this one square block. Yeah. It's, it's... Minneapolis.

Hey. Do you think this is cause of the Nick Shirley video I keep seeing people blame Nick Shirley for all this? So funny to be like a retarded guy in Hokka's just walking around with your Digi Mike and then like a week later there's like bombs going off in the city. I know. The week later you see. You see a picture of a nurse with a gun pointed at the back of this desk.

There's just like balding guys trying to protect women in the streets getting their heads blown off. You're like, no, I was just trying to make $200,000 this year. Doing a grifter piece of shit. He just started like a Mai Lai massacre of like $9 latte baristas. You're retarded Hanoi Jane. Yeah. You've crumbled. You've crumbled the Northwest by being a retard.

Who's the guy that made Civil War the British. Yeah, I mean, he should remake Civil War, but instead of starring Christian Dutz, it's starring like a Nick Shirley type guy. Yeah, it was like a total grifter piece. And then when he gets shot at the end, everybody cheers in the theater. Because that is the weird thing about that movie is she's like about the truth. Yeah. I'm like, does that even, because this is supposed to be a dystopian future. Supposedly like a good journalism comes back.

Right. Yeah. People are like want to get down to the, wouldn't it just be people filming themselves getting blown up somewhere? That's why Alex Garland filled Civil War should have been filmed from YouTube, from just phone videos. If guys going like, they just killed Charlie Kurt.

Yeah. They just blew his fucking head off. Take a hat. The hats are free. So, yeah, Civil War should have been that old black guy filming himself going like, they just killed Carson Duss. She's fucking wild out here. I'm going to fuck Kaylee Spaney and her big ass.

I like Civil War, but yeah, The more I've thought about it, it is like a ridiculous movie. Like, that's, like, pro journalists who are, like, scumbags kind of. It doesn't really make any sense to me. It doesn't make any sense to me. I just thought the movie was cool. And the world, like, and also if these cities have fallen, where are the vicious, vicious, crazy minorities?

Like, where are, like, the Somali guys that look like dig-dugs running around with bombs, throwing cocktails? Well, Jesse Plymouth is just buried all of them. Yeah. Oh, I guess you're right. Yeah. It looks like when you crush a wasp's nest. Yeah.

You sprayed with a bunch. There's, like, eggs in it. You set it on fire, and you can see the was like wiggling out, but they can't fly. Because those guys would be dominating. The guys that came over here from Somalia. Oh, yeah. They're pirates. They'd be destroying.

There's a complete. They have cannons. And also, they're paying Somalians to, like, be extra retarded as, like, the spokespeople. Did you see that lady with the huge cartoonish, like, band-aid on her head? No. Going out there, talk with, like, she's got, like, the head garb on. She's, like, talking about how, like, they eat bananas and rice

and you're like what are you have you not positively yes it's like it looks like I don't know it looked like a weird Dementin Ilhan Omar talking about bananas and rice and I was like the fuck are you talking about I can pull it up we can be racist about it if you want pull her up we're not even

fucking you who cares why are we even filming this is it called rice and bananas we should all be jacking off while we're doing this right bananas and rice type in bananas and rice just play whatever whatever racist video pops up from bananas and rice.

And bananas. Never heard of this in my life. Never heard of Somali. Oh, this lady. Yeah, what is this? Yeah. So I'm Somali. I'm proud to be Somali.

To me, being Somali isn't just eating. Who's the obese Asian guy? What is this AI? I know. They have a sumo wrestler and a black ghost. What fuck is this video? This press conference. This looks like weapons.

Yes, these uncanny valley like James Bond villains. She's one of the ghosts from like Howl's Moving Castle. Why would you ever let anyone make a public statement with a Band-Aid on their head? A big cartoon Band-Aid. A big cartoon Band-Aid that's like kind of flopping off? I don't know what's the big deal with having a scab. I'd rather just have a scab.

It's supposed to get air and heal you. Cover it up with a big Baritard Band-Aid. Like a moron. And it's with Rice. It's a lot. Wait, can you play that way? Yeah, sorry. This Valley Girl, Somali.

Also, she's sort of like in the San Fernando Valley of Somalia? To me, being Somali isn't just eating bananas with rice. It's a lot. It's like, it's, it's, uh, it's an interesting thing. It's, uh, it's very hard to describe what it means to be Somali and what it means to be American. I remember growing up Somali, we would go to Clare's in Westlake Village. We went to Clare. Yeah, I don't really get it.

I don't understand what this video is, why she's doing a, who is this? why is there a public I don't know I'm just watching the fat Chinese guy statement being made I'm watching him digest in the background you can hear his stomach

you know he he heard rice and he looked up real quick he goes wait what what was this is her handler he's like you have to talk about rice he's like you can only talk about food for the next five minutes he's in the back being like fried rice fry

fry it not regular not regular stop talking about bananas we don't do that shit but it's like a cultural fusion. It's kind of like the bananas and rice. What are you talking about? People don't really see like

you know, it's a, it's, you know, people don't think, oh, you can eat bananas with rice, but. What? That's what it's like to be Somali and American. It's like that combination of banana and rice. You're going to get what I mean. You're going to get what I mean. And I'm sure

Somalians are great, whatever. But that sucks. If I heard that what the fuck are you talking about? That's so bad. I'm like, did they, did they, like, drill a big hole in her head and then push her on stage so Jeff Dye could do bad jokes about her? That's so weird. That's so weird.

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God bless you, my friend. You know who else is... Because you brought up George Floyd, you brought up all these things. You know who else has been going on podcasts and talking about George Floyd is none other than the comedian. Jeff Die. Jeff Dieh. Former TV show host. Now, who is Jeff Dieh?

Let's get into him. Well, Jeff has given up, you know... Jamie Kennedy asks him at one point. He goes, have you given it a lot? He goes, because Jeff Dye says he's moving to Texas. He's buying a $3 million property in Spine. Spicewood. Spicewood, okay.

He goes, they go whatever. He goes, Lake Travis Spicepoo there. He's kind of vague about it. But according to him, this is why the GoFundMe is hysterical because he's so rich. Now, he's not. No. He's not, he can't buy a $3 million. He's not, you're not going to live next to Sandra Bullock and Joe Rogan and the CEO of Buckees and these are the people that live on Lake Travis in Austin.

He thinks that's why the GoFundMe is in a little, just a hellohingy. just a hilarious thing. And he says he's given this a lot of thought. I like how he is moving to the country. He's going towards the crickets. The crickets don't come to Jeff. He goes to the crickets. I'll come to you.

I'll come to you. The crickets go like, oh my God, we keep trying to get away from this guy. Jeff goes... We were in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, because anytime they're near Jeff died, they have to start chirping against their will. Yes, they're tired. They're fucking tired, Jeff.

Leave the crickets alone. It's like an American-tail cricket, like a fiefel being like, We came to these constantly to get away from Jeff. Jeff's like, I heard you got to go to your people. Exactly. I need tumbleweeds.

Yeah. It's prior going back to Africa. Yeah. But Jeff died going to the crickets. Yeah, they're like, dude, Jeff, Jeff, you just sold out the Irvine improv and then he walks on stage and it's just locus,

and crickets. They're heating the furniture. He's also been, he's like a dude of like a fake Christ's grift like we said before. Oh, yeah. He's Christian. Big time. a big Christ thing today.

I'm sure he did. He thinks he's a great person. Yeah, he does. Every podcast he does, he lets you know up top, I'm a really good guy. And then he says that no one likes him. Everybody thinks he's a dickhead. He's like, I'm a great person.

Here's 500 people who said, I should kill myself today. And I don't get it. There's no common denominator at all. He's like, I'm a fan of Jesus. I don't know why Jesus hates me. Jesus wouldn't let me be on his podcast. He thinks the Bible podcast, is Jesus hosts that? He says, I thought people would click on the GoFundMe and go, oh my God, a rich guy starting a GoFundMe, that's hilarious.

Chef Die, the famous rich comedian. He also goes, $26,000 was the GoFundMe. That's an hilarious number. Yeah. So that's funny for some reason to him. Yeah. So he says he's moving to Spice, very vague about that. He also just named, he probably just named the first word that came to his mind.

He just said Spice, Texas. moving. Yeah, maybe. I don't really know what's going on with them. But we're in her credential. No, fuck off. What is with this computer? Check this out. You ready? Hell yeah. We don't get political on this show.

That's a sick fucking combo. You know, the bomber jacket with the hoodie on. What is that a graphic hoodie? Well, he's wearing the bomber jacket because he's going to go do comedy later. Right, of course. Yeah. Jeff has lost... He's a bomber. Now, Jeff has lost a lot of friends over Charlie Kirk.

Sure. A lot of friends. He texts people. He confronts people about their response to Charlie Kirk. Mm-hmm. And he's willing to lose friendships over it. He's lost a lot of friendships with people who responded, you think I'm a friend of yours?

That's crazy. Yeah. I said hi to you once at the store because you were in front of me and I felt weird. Here we are. Here. Okay. And there's Jamie. Here we go.

And I'll be on it, you know, or you'll be on it. And it will be a mix. And that was just, that's new in the last 10 years. And I think that's really good. So I do think comedy is the great inclusivity, even though people don't realize it. It really is because I share stages with people that probably don't think a lot of the same things I do. Sure. I think that's great.

I think he talks about. Jamie Kennedy looks like a guy that has CTE from break dancing. He's just been spinning on his head for too long. Yeah, then he has to duct tape his feet and then kill himself. Yeah, he tried to do that move where you slide with your hat and just broke his neck. He puts an actual bucket on his head instead of a bucket hat. Just spinning. He goes, DJ, hit that shit.

He's just in an alley alone. Hallucinating. Here we go. I think this is Jeff Dye's last friend in L.A. And that may really be why he's... He's the last cowboy. Texas. He's eyeing Texas.

According to him, he's very rich. He lives in a small apartment in Sherman Oaks, but according to him, you know, that's where all the wealthy people end up. In small apartments. They end up on Ventura. I thought it was Bel Air, Beverly Hills, places like this. That's fake wealth. That's fake.

The real money? The real money is sleep in your cyber truck and the parking lot of Casa Vega. Listening to the Bible. Because if you get it. another DUI, they're going to take it away. You put the keys on the back wheel and you go, Jesus, start that podcast.

There we go. That's stealth wealth. I'm going to be called about crying about, like, when these clips come out, they'll be like, he's crying about, Jeff Dye's such a drama queen. All the things that we're talking. Yeah, he's literally talking about your clips. I called him Jeff Cry. Yeah. Jeff Cry. Jeff Cry. Which is pretty great, by the way. Yeah, thank you. Everyone goes for Jeff DU.I.

It was, Jeff Cry. It was worth it. It was worth. It was worth getting. It was worth getting our YouTube nuked. You pointing a harpoon gun at him saying, you're my bitch, Jeff. And cackling in a dark room. I know, that's the worst part is that they were like, we got our channel pulled for harassment and we're like, yeah,

no, that's a pretty fair judgment. Yeah, we kind of did like an old man in the sea on Jeff die. Yeah, we had. We had Jeff hooked for about 85 hours. It was kind of a metaphor for a lot of. My buddy Ben, he did like a Captain Ahab thing with Jeff die. Ben did the old man in the hack.

Yeah. Who do you think Jeff called? I think he's calling comics. I think he's talking to people. Probably. I don't know, man. I don't know. I like to think that it's not that.

It is that. But every fiber in my beard. is telling me it's that. But let's pretend we're not recording right now. Sure. It's that. It's probably that. It's probably that.

I have a hard time believing just some lone guy that keeps reporting us can just get that far. No. I think it's just the fact that he was talking a lot about you. Someone put a head out on us. Mentioning some other things. Yeah, someone put a head out on us. I was kind of wondering. We had a little like attention recently.

You know, even the Alex Jones thing. Yeah, that was weird too. It was like three. Three momentum building fun things. Fun for us. We don't harm anybody. We're alone in the basement. Will and Don had to make a video called addressing rumors after I put out my video.

And they went bullet point through bullet point about me attacking them viciously. They did? Yeah, because I was slandering them. I was saying very untrue things about them. How much time is in your day? I know. How many people are you going on? He spends 12 hours being a dad.

I would have done know how he gets the time. It doesn't make sense mathematically. Can you stop time? I just cram it. It's just one day, seven hours. Yeah. I just cram it all in a one day. You parcel it out?

It's like when one guy eats one meal in a day and he still keeps getting fatter. Yeah. You can just cram it all on one plate. Right. All you got to do. Your snake, but for cyberbullying retards. Exactly. Yeah.

Okay. Don had to address the rumor whether or not she was on disability, which I've been, which I made a video about. Is she on disability? She's not. Well, that's, well, because they said she's not. Well, she fell down a well when she was eight, and they had to, like, uh, like the city, like lost its, like, license or something. It was a big deal. It was a big deal. It was like interstellar. Mm-hmm.

She got the water too stinky. They weren't allowed to have water anymore. The city took the water away. It turned into Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yeah, they filled the well back up with diet, uh, Diet Dr. Pepper. They shut the factories down. Mm-hmm. What if even... Don had diarrhea down in the well for three days. Mm-hmm.

Filled the well up. What if even Will and Don, like, they're addressing, like, you... you attacking them and then they go like and he's also been attacking some guy named Jeff Dye but that guy does suck ass that guy deserves it that guy deserves it

he's a big retard not like me Will and Don he calls himself Will and Don my name's Will and Don my name's Will and Don and Jeff Dye's a hack we don't like Jeff Dye we're more red die 40 guys

red dye blue dye, yellow dye. He's the only die we don't like. Even tie die. We like it. Baby, honey. Child, sugar plum. But who made the call?

Get that channel ban, honey. I know Gelman is still very upset about everything. I know that. I got word. I got confirmation on that very upset. Wait, really? By from who? They had to cut a whole thing out of brick class.

What did Israel call you? Who told you that? Yeah. What insider do you have Galman? You got a call from Nan Yahoo. I got an email it from. from Israel at gimo.com. They said, look.

Gilman and also maybe Barstool. We have too many enemies in our wake. I don't even know who did this. And it goes back even further than that. Years, it goes back years. Why would that all come back now? I'm just saying,

if you're a detective, you need to lay out everything on the... I'm saying the pressure's on die. He could make this all go away. Because even if he had nothing to do with it, Jeff, you better hope we get back. on YouTube for the sake of your future. They're gonna kill.

These people are gonna, they're never gonna stop comments. Did you see the comment that said, I am hunting you on behalf of Ben Arias? Yes, it's non-stop. And even when I post something where I'm obviously making fun of him, but I say something positive,

it goes crazy. People are all attacking. I can't even fucking just enjoy Jeff Dye. I know. Without people going too far. He's a lightning rod. So Jeff, get us back on YouTube, buddy. We can all be coped.

We can all be copacetic and it'll all stop. It won't stop. We'll do your show. No, no, no. If Jeff gets us back on YouTube, we immediately, we switch to we really love Jeff. Yes. That's all he has to do. Jeff, we'd support of stuff.

The call. Tell Jeannie Buzz. Get us back. He goes, all these people that, I don't even know they talk shit about me. They make stuff about me. He goes, they're afraid to run into me in town. Why? I said I would happily go on his show.

Is hack contagious? Why would we be, why would anyone be afraid to run into the Jeff? die. I don't know. Apparently he wrestled the cops to the ground in the coffee shop. Okay, please attack me. Also. And for what? In what coffee show? Why would he do any? Why would he? When he got the DUI?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right. Apparently he wrestled the police. Well, that's because he was drunk. There's a video of it. I don't know if we can get access to him. And now he's tweeting about a guy like maybe you won't get shot if you don't fight the cops. Yeah. He actually had white privilege in that moment, because he wrestled three cops in a coffee shop. They played that video and

they played her podcast in court testifying against him for the, on behalf of the state. Really? Yeah. For the DUI, you got it. For the DUI where he went up over an intersection in Burbank, went over a curb in a model Y, and hit a tree. Jesus, God, he really was going

really fast down, I guess Burbank Boulevard or Magnolia or whatever. Anyway, I found out what theater he goes to all the time, so. The AMC 16. AMC Town Center. He doesn't go to an AMC.

Or the 6. What are we talking about? He's a, Devin, let me tell you something. He's a bozo. He's not even a fucking bozo. He's not even an AMC guy. Everything he lists that he goes to all the time. He's a regal member.

He's a regal guy. He goes to the regal in Sherman Oaks and he goes, I can't believe it. I go to this theater. No one's ever there. It's like my own personal theater. Yeah, Jeff. It's because it's a shitty theater. Yeah, it's a bad theater.

It sucks. No one's there. The seats are uncomfortable. The food sucks. It's great. You've been there, right? Yes, it sucks. You've been to the Regal in Sherman Oaks?

That's the one that took over the, they took over the arc light, right? We went and saw that bad lead letter movie there. Yes, correct. I used to live next door to a regal. It sucks. It sucks. He thinks he found a diamond in the rough. No, because no one's there.

I live next door. It's the Jeff Dye of theaters. That's why he likes it. I know the coffee shop he goes to all the time. Really? Starbucks. He's like, I know this really indie spot. Real Seattle style.

Mom and pop shit. He tells people. I know his cross streets. He's very, like, he thinks no one's listening to his podcast. He tells you everything about his life. Why would he think that? Well, weirdly on Jay...

Is it because of the views? He talks about the success of his podcast on this podcast. Is it the feedback on the views? I don't get, like, dude, did you hear, like, I showed you this upstairs. I'll just play this eight-second soundbite right here. Everybody listen to this, because this is unbelievable. Jeff is a guy.

I can just look at my heroes. I looked up with stats recently. He's huge with the stuff. the wind. Yeah, he's actually really big with males between age 99 to 105. As a guy, I can just look at my heroes

and go like, all right, I'm a little bit of Daniel Tosh mixed with Patrice, mixed with Norm, mixed with the Simpsons, mixed with... I have all these... It's crazy. Yeah. It's insane. Me, I'm like every... I'm all the greatest of all time. I'm a mix of the greatest comics of love. I'm the greatest hits. I'm kind of like if Mount Rushmore

was one guy. It would be me. It's something Trump would say is he would say he's all four presidents on Mount Rock. I told you upstairs it's like an aunt saying he's a bird. It's crazy how delusional he is.

But yeah, so meanwhile, Jeff is still getting in huge fights with people at the comedy store. Fighting with everybody in town. Who? Ron Funches, Steph to Lev.

He says people will text him or he'll see people are shitting on him. He'll, he's the guy where he hears about it, he texts them and confronts them. He goes, and they just leave me on red. They don't even respond to me. It's like, yeah, they don't

have any respect for you. Hey, do we have a thing? Do we have a problem? If you ever text someone, hey, do we have a problem? And they leave you on red. It means yes. And also they don't care to resolve it. Also, you're not even a person to them. I know. I know. It's like you're

the you're the equivalent of a homeless guy I tried to start a fire with me, so I just kept walking. Yes. Because he doesn't matter. Exactly, Jay. And he's losing his mind because no one acknowledges his existence. Except for us and Jamie Canada.

Yeah, he's like in a Twilight Zone episode where nobody will say he's alive or not. He runs around screaming. We don't really talk about what's going on, but here, Jeff is going to lay out the whole stuff. Like the climate that had everybody killed, you know, Renee Good and everybody else. Sure, sure. It's about like in this thing. I kind of like it because it's like pro wrestling. Yeah.

Like that's kind of, I kind of enjoy that the internet has these clips and there's two comics. I kind of like it. So you're almost a mark for it. Yeah, I like it. You're a big mark. He says he likes people shitting on it. He gets off to it.

That's why he likes it. We're happy to help your kick. You suck fucking ass and you're one of the biggest hacks in recent memory. Did you come yet, Jeff? There you go. Jeffrey, did you come? You like it? You like it, bitch?

There you go. Yeah. Drink up. Get on stage, faggot. Get on that stage and tell some jokes, bitch. Shake that ass, bitch. Yeah, you're right. He's at home watching us like a J-O-I video.

Yeah. Here we go. Okay, keep it going. Sorry. I would prefer to just be liked by everyone. Yeah. That's just not ever going to happen. It just won't happen with my brain.

The brain I have doesn't allow for most people to like me because it's dumb. Because it's dumb and bad. Because I'm a dumb. Because I'm a dumb fuck. Yeah. By the way, Jamie Kennedy wears that hat so he remembers

what state he's in. Like it's memento. Callie. You guys got a big bear on the bed. Am I a bear? And those beads he's wearing it. That's his home address.

If he gets lost, they can take him back. It's like, it says do not resuscitate on it. I was the matter of business wanted. Okay. Very nice. All right, let's get you back to your cocaine stash.

Though, because you really don't step to people, in my opinion. The little bit I know about you. No. I've never seen you step. No, he drives it. He drives in with them. Like, man, the stuff you put on the internet. Very good, Devin.

I've never seen you step. Well, I did have a comic class and I'd be like, man, the stuff you put on the internet is wild. I'm like, what? Where were you at? What am I putting on the internet that's wild? He goes, you know what you're putting. I go, no, I'm not. Where were you at?

You don't know what I'm putting on. Who said that? The damn name? Yeah. I almost want to ask you who said that. Comics are such pussies. They didn't used to be, and now they are. Like, it's very fascinating.

Except you, Jeff. What are you? Except you, Jeff. It's weird to be so agro and shit on all comedians and say everybody's soft. Everyone hates me. No one's responding to my text. Anyway, every comic sucks, except. me.

They're all mess I'm like a mix of the Simpsons and Patrice. I'm kind of like if Orson Welles was a comic. Imagine giving yourself

two saying I'm like a mixture between Patrice O'Neill and Norm McDonnell. Yours gets away with it unless imagine imagine imagine saying Daniel Tosh

and the Simpsons. Even just those even just those two. Yeah. Who I like, I love both. Daniel Tosh alone is like that's insane.

It's crazy. Are you fucking nuts? Yeah. He said that and Daniel Tosh just like had a shiver. go down in Spine.

He's like, huh? Daniel Tosh was surfboarding in Malibu. Jeff Dye's the type of guy. He's the reason that Dale Tash doesn't, like, leave his house. Because he might run into... Dale Tosh doesn't want to ever meet somebody like you. Yeah, because anytime he leaves his house, he sees Jeff Dye drunk driving at him. Yes.

Like a pit bull. Jeff Dye should be on the fucking... Sprinting down the street at him. Yeah. Here we go. Here we go. He's very upset about Charlie Kirk. Okay.

Look, he was referencing was I said, uh, if, uh, And we're leading into that, but I like the stuff before it. Sure. If you're wondering why he hasn't started talking about Charlie Kirk, he's about to explain a joke that pissed everybody off here. I'm sure the joke he was referencing was I said, if black people can do anything, why can't they be racist? And that was a funny thing.

That's funny. And I put in the caption, like, keep reaching for your goals someday. That's funny. Yeah. That's okay. We need that as a button on the show. That's funny. You could actually see he realized he was supposed to laugh.

Yeah, he goes, oh shit, right. He went, oh, shit, he goes, ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's funny. Jay, do we have ads anymore, by the way? Yeah, we do have ads. Do we have ads? I guess you want to real quick do ads before we get too far into this? Before we get deep in the die.

There's no second half of this episode. It's just like it's, you know, it's a muzzle loader today. Yeah, once die comes up. Oh, I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. Yeah. After the YouTube. A little bit. Yeah.

Might have had something to do with that. I guess should I apologize to either of you? Because I guess it was me. Who was you? But it's your show. I guess it was my fault, though. But we all split it evenly. Listen, I have no complaints.

James almost killed himself on the way here, but like... But the money went way up. We hit a thing. That's fine. I wonder how sustainable that is without the largest search engine in the world deleting us. But War Mode is fine. That is true. I think we'll be okay.

I think we just need to hit more podcasts. We're fine. I think we'll be fine. We need to go through big shows. I think we'll be fine. We need to do the diehard podcast. I think we'll be fine. We have the first, like, actual algorithm.

At the end of all was going. That was all the place. It was just like it kind of felt like the internet was actually, like, finally, like, working for us. and then that happened. But it's ridiculous because... I should have never went to Austin. We got too many eyes on us. And then they pulled the trigger.

No, but like... I don't know. Just everyone, just everyone... People that don't have our... We can't post anything because our names are associated with our, like, IP addresses or whatever the fuck. Apparently, I might be IP ban from YouTube as well at the moment. So yeah. So just clip.

Clip, post, spread the word. They'll do an aggressive IP ban on me. Just lemons in every comment. But why can't you guys make one? because I'm not getting involved in this. I got my own. No, but why can't you make a living party one? Oh, I don't want to because my internet's attached to Haywatch.

Oh, yeah. I need to delete any episode you were on. You're a fucking leper. He's unclean. You're a dirty, dirty person. It's so funny. You guys are unfollowing me on Instagram. You're blocking me.

I'm pulling Devin aside. I go, we got to do something about it. We got to circumvent this somehow. I guess should I say sorry? Because we're technically making more money now. So you should be thanking me, actually. No, I should get 35%. I got to say, to be sincere, I actually don't know what to think of this.

I've gone in and out of being sad and then being like, I don't even, I don't know. I was sick all fucking week. It just felt like cartoonish and like just classic our lives timing. Jason and I literally last Sunday We're like talking to each other It was like the happiest we've been We were like so happy and And hopeful

I think I literally turned to Devin And I said I go I think the podcast is like really Growing outside of word of mouth For the first time ever I feel like we could be somewhere crazy By the end of the year And then like three days later it was banned So there's a part of me that's like

I don't know I don't I'm not sure this is that bad Because I feel like the devil is real And he lives in heaven Is that Jeff Dye joke? He wishes. I felt like it was my fault for thinking positively for the first time in a long time. And then, like, carmically, I got the channel deleted.

Yeah. Just on some god shit. We're going to be okay. We're fine. This just happens, like, in rap. Like, they do drive by on each other. This is our 50 cent moment. It's just, you know what?

It's annoying because it feels like there is powers it be. that we'll never know for sure. But we've always had those powers working against us. And we have confirmation of that, that they have been working actively against us. It is, we have official confirmation. We have official that many forces

have actively worked against the success of the show. The 11 party channel itself got no warning, got no strikes. We didn't do anything recently. And it just got every, every fucking sketch, every episode. We had like episodes in the beginning of the show

that had like 60,000 views. People go back to the archive, and they start from the beginning. That's all over. And so then it kind of looks like people are like, well, are they even big? You know? Yeah, remember when I was manic

shooting all those sketches before the pods for like two months in a row? It's all gone. It's all gone. You know, I mean, it's just, yeah, I mean, I guess the positive is my Tesla Diner episode's not out there anymore. That's true.

That's the only one they left up. YouTube. The guy at YouTube's like, this rules. This kicks acts. It's the only thing back. And hey, we just put it on the front page. You're welcome. No, man, I don't know what to think about it, dude.

I actually am not sure how to be sad about it. I think you just have to be grateful for whatever happens in your life. No matter what. I think that's how, does that how it works? You just say thank you? I don't, you know what I, the only, the only thing that makes me afraid is the precedent it sets for like, it's, it's creepy to get nuked. We've been a time out. We were a time out for like a month.

And we put up with it. We were happy little babies on timeout. We did it. We did all the things that they said. Yeah. I don't know. I got to say, it would just be nice if, like, some people with any clout. Like, never shouted us out.

Just like, hey, they got banned. Show them some support. But people privately reached out to me. And that helps. People see that? That really helps. We had in Israel because they have Pegasus on my phone, I'm sure. Oh, I love when people meet you in an alleyway at 2 a.m.

They go, I'm really sorry. about this and then they run into the distance. Hey, don't tell anybody I watch every episode of the show. Hey, never let this be known, but I love you guys and I support you guys. I'm sorry that you're living at a homeless shelter now. If you ever say this

publicly, I'll deny it and have you killed. But I watch every episode at the show. You're welcome. Hey, guys, speaking of watching every episode of the show, you'll know on most episodes, we have ads for Lucy's and they're breakers. Lucy!

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They have apple cider. Oh, my God. It's very good. It's good for your kidneys. Apple cider. Exactly. Exactly. Espresso, berry, citrus, and pomegranate. You'll definitely find something you love. We all love Lucy. I love him. I was telling you guys on the way here, I was trying to stop at the liquor store. We know that sells him in L.A. Love him. Because you can't get him in Luechre, because of Newsom. And his nanny state that he runs. Yep, you can't get him because of new scum. I stopped in the one liquor store that sells it. Almost got accosted by a homeless guy. Almost got attacked. Homeless guy tried to attack me.

Yep. Black homeless guy with crossed eyes. He tried to fight me and he asked, he said the back of my head. He said, how many slaves did your grandparents own? I'm sorry, but I'm imagining a guy who looks like Beetlejuice saying this to you. He looked like Beetlejuice if he was stretched out. If you put Beetlejuice on the rack. If you got ran over and Roger Rabbit.

Yeah, no, he literally, he walked in and I was checking out. I was buying Arganis and Lucy's and he walked in. And he's like, these headphones don't fucking work, man. And then he's decided it was my fault. And then he just to the back of my head, he's like, how many of your, your forefathers owned my forefathers. And I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like me. And I looked at me and he goes, yeah, I'm looking at you and both of his eyes were looking

on either side of my body. Like a lizard. I was like, well, you're technically not looking at me. You're looking around me. But that's how much I love Lucy. Lucy. Is that I will go back to that liquor store the next week to get more Lucy's because I love them. Lucy breakers come in nicotine strengths from two to 12 milligrams.

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Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive. Chemical. Thank you, Lucy, and now back to the die. Gentlemen. Back to the die. And look, I have other people prepared for, as Devin say, who, you know, who pull up the people who should die, as Devin says. No, no, I don't say that. Well, now we say pull up the people who are die.

Yeah. No one should die. They should become die. Which is the same as dying. Much more entertaining. Is this over? What does he say about Charlie Kerr? We're about to get to it. Please, come on.

We're about to get to it. Here we go. Get to it. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Well, you know, like, keep reaching for, oh, that was a funny thing. That's funny. That's funny.

That's funny. Reaching for your goals. Someday you'll be able to do it black people, you know, like. That's funny. That's funny. But now, like, so black comics would be fine with anything I do. And then when I do a racial joke, they go,

he's nuts, right? And then gay comics are like, By the way, I can't. I know what you're going to say. Doesn't it drive you not? I know. He's nuts. Oh, the sucking in.

The sucking in is unbelievable. He's a horrible mic at a gift for comment. He either sucks in or sucks ass. There's no non-sucking with him. It sounds like he's felching while trying to do a podcast. Well, it's just funny. It's not only is he saying the dumbest, most retarded shit I've ever heard. He's sucking in every bit of oxygen in the room to do it.

Which Jamie needs none of, luckily. Exactly. Jamie's like, I'm carbon, baby. He's SpongeBob. Jamie's a tree. They're kind of like a tree and a bird talking to each other. They could live in a fish tank. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You could seal them in a cube and they'd be fine. Yep. You could seal them in a bowling ball. A clear bowling ball. Yeah, the die could be a barnacle on the top of James back. Yeah, they're retarded. If they walk into a room and the lights are off, they pass out. They just go to sleep.

Like birds. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. But these birds have spent a lot of time thinking about Charlie. with anything I do. And George Floyd. Sure. A joke that go, he's nuts.

Right? And then gay comics are like, he's so funny. Jeff Dye. And then I do a gay joke and they go, man, I can't believe he posted that. So it's like the comics are kind of being like the way audiences used to be where they'll laugh at anything that isn't their little circle. And so I'm noticing that like in the L.A. scenes is like they're fine until I post a joke about whatever they're sensitive about.

Sometimes people will just talk. You said this upstairs. Yeah. We joke about you being a hack and you get offended by the. that. Well, but, Jayce, you also said, like, I think he thinks people, if they call him a hack, he thinks that's them being offended by the material. Yeah, I said, that's the thing.

He doesn't understand that it's just like, no, we don't mind the content. Yeah. It sucks what you, how you do it. People on Twitter are saying, like, kill yourself, you hack fagg and he's like, the wove. Yeah, exactly. The woops back out. What is at it again. Wokes at it again.

And Johnny Molloy's saying you're a retarded faggot and I hate you. Yeah. Being like, what's with woke throwing tomatoes at me while I'm on stage? It's woke. It's the woke agenda. That guy in the Punisher T-shirt just called me a retard. That's Antifa. Woke.

We all know it. By the way, it's fine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, never, no. No, no, no. No, no, please, please, please. No, no, no, please. No, no, hold nothing back.

Does Jamie Kennedy have a red, red collar on in memory of Charlie Firk? Very good, Devin. Very good. Until I post a joke about whatever. they're sensitive about. Sometimes people will just start conversations like that. It's called.

B-I-T-Y-T-Y or is that supposed to be easy to remember? It's him trying to spell his name. They just let him punch the keyboard. I think it's called Here's the Thing. Here's the thing. Wait. Here's the. Yeah, you still pissing people off.

Happy today. Happy to. Buddy, I thank you. Buddy, I thank you. That's the actual name of the show. Happy today, buddy, I thank you. Hate to break it to you, podcast.

Oh, okay. Okay. That's what the doctor says to Jamie Kennedy every week. Hey, babe, hate to break it to you. I'm retarded. The doctor every week goes, Jamie, I hate to break it to you. Your IQ dropped another 30 points. Jamie Kennedy gets IQ updates like it's Experian reports.

Like your credit just went down. On the internet and I'm like, don't say hi to me like that. Just give me a hug. Say what's up. I don't know why they're feeding into this. He's one of these guys. Hey, come on, man. Just give me a hug.

I hate those people. Let's hug it out, bitch. It's the most toxic people. Let's hug it out, bitch. Well, that's what happens when you've been... Come on, give me a hug. That's what happens when you've been working through ideas for the last 30 years with Kristen Cavalari. When that's your late night, like talk, like philosophy, buddy.

When you're going, is this funny? Yeah, and then it's just the hills talking to you. You might be right. Jeff leaves... Jeff's about to get into it here. He's serving... Just giving a hug. I don't know why they're, like, feeding into this thing, you know?

Well, when Charlie Kirk died, that fuck me up. I know. Fuck me up. Fuck me up. You're about to hear the most narcissistic explanation for why it fucked up. And to be fair, it fucked me up, too. But, but, but, but, it was, it was crazy.

It was crazy. Yeah, yeah. It was, it was tough to see. But you're about to hear why. But, but it's also funny, Jamie Kennedy's, like, walking around his mansion he got from Maldizmos one. and the 14-year-old, he's like, what's wrong, baby? He's like, Charlie Kirk.

Fucking, Kirk. By the way, what was that Charlie Kirk tweet you retweeted? He would be completely against what's going on. He tweeted about how citizens need the Second Amendment to defend themselves from a tyrannical government. Yeah. Oh, interesting. I just read. I saw that retreated.

I was like, I guess I had to have a... Probably, who cares. Jeff Dye thinks the tyrannical government is when the government is run by T-Rexes. He thinks when the government has short arms. Yeah, that's what he calls Jurassic Park. It's a tyrannical government, Jurassic Park. And he goes, wait, really? Whoa.

Whoa. That's crazy. He thinks it's a bunch of dinosaurs in Congress, passing laws. He goes, whoa, that's crazy. Good. People go, Mitch McConnell's a dinosaur. And he goes, no, he's not. He's obviously a man.

Here we go, ready? Yeah, let's go. Thing. bang well when Charlie Kirk died tough week that fuck me up tough fuck all of us

fuck me well it should have yeah yeah and you and I were texting yeah and I haven't been to the improv since really yeah there was a lot of comics

what did the improv do I don't know what did they have to do with it I don't know it's the two like complete narcissists they shouldn't be allowed in a room that has a microphone

I haven't been the improv sense. No, them with a microphone's like when your dog picks up a knife. And you have to try and get it back. Can you please, I want to hear him transition into Charlie Kirk one more time. I love self-serious Jamie Kennedy. It's so funny. That 15-second exchange is so funny. Yeah, it's so good.

All right, here we go. Well, when Charlie Kirk died. Tough week. That fuck me up. Tough week. Fuck all of us up. Well, it didn't. Well, it should have.

Yeah. And you and I were texting. And I haven't been to the improv since. Really? Yeah, there was a lot of comics really showing their true colors on that. I lost some friends over that one. I've done shows, but I haven't been there, and I love the improv. It's not, I just haven't been gotten down in the play.

Why, do you think you're next? What makes you not want to go? What, Jason, listen. Seriously, listen. Okay, listen. Initially. Because I would have went crazy. I know, but you do you saw comments? Well, no. For the first thing, is because I was so shook, like Chappelle said in his new special.

I was also, like, just talking for a living, freaked me out. Just talking for a living. He thinks he's next. Yeah. Antifa. First of all, Antifa, there's like the Ayatollah, but he's a leftist fag in Portland. He goes, after we take out, we take out Jamie Kennedy. The number one enemy to the left.

The number one enemy. He is the way he gets on his podcast and says, people are so sensitive these days. But you can't have a communist government if Jamie Kennedy is out there slinging jokes. Yeah, yeah. Jamie Kennedy is like killing baby Hitler, taking Jamie Kennedy out.

A man that is basically a human Joshua tree. Just something you see in L.A. Just standing around. I forgot how much these people think about themselves and how seriously they take. make themselves. Jamie Kennedy, when I saw him at a TV taping for my friend he was hosting, he acted like Elvis walked on stage from the dead and we didn't give it, didn't give it up for him. He was pissed at us for like not, like shitting ourselves and vomiting because Jamie Kennedy

walked on stage. It was crazy. It's kind of funny. The Malibu's most wanted guy is just like a, you know, like a young, like a Charlie Kirk. He's like, he's like a pull your pants up, black people. Yeah, well, it's the most wigger thing you can do is become a Republican grifter in your 40s, in my opinion. I saw a comic tweet that Jeff Dye told another comic publicly. He's been selling more tickets by going on Gutfeld and being more of a right-wing culture guy. And that's why he's been doing it. That's what he kind of admitted to people. Yeah. That's why he went that direction. After he lost the TV show stuff in the DUI and he wasn't selling tickets. He doesn't have a foundation. Yeah, that's part of the reason we all started hating him because it's obviously

fake. It's an obvious bullshit. It's just a drunk girl's be like harmless retard comic. Like, you know, laugh factory, uh, comedy magic club guy. Voted for Hillary in 2016. I found a video. Yeah. Now he's, now he just goes with, you know, wherever the wind blows for him and his, and his fucking money. And other awesome people we have, we make fun of, they are just retarded. And they get mad about stuff they see on Twitter. Like they're real, you know. Jeff is completely calculated. It's one plus one. but it is calculated. Wait, so now we can't do this.

Now we can't say he's like some calculated, like cunning. No, I'm saying he's calculated by he took a calculator and he said, what's seven minus five? Yeah. Because he's doing a very bad job of it. Yeah, yeah. Very bad job. No, Jeff does. Jeff is calculated using his fingers on his hand to count.

He takes his shoes off to be calculating. Yeah. He's the untalented, Mr. Ripley. Here we go. So now he's going to start talking about George Floyd. And I was like, I love nothing more than when these guys start talking about George Floyd. Yeah, this has the vibe of any time I've been at Thanksgiving and two people who nobody in the family likes start teaming up. And you just hear an offshoot of the conversation.

He's like if Machiavelli couldn't spell his last name. If Machiavelli thought Machiavellian, he's mocking. Yes, exactly. It's like thinking Italy is spelled Italy. Yes. Same shit, yeah. He thinks DMX is Machiavelli. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. He goes to Italy and he brings his passport. He goes to the Century City Mall and he goes to Italy and he tells the woman with him to bring her passport. Because we're going to Italy. And he asks the way, he's like, where is the Sistine Chapel? So real thing. Saying things that we don't deem as that controversial being that hated is crazy. So that took me.

And then the absolute, not just lack of empathy, the actual evil incarnate. Celebrity. It was insane. but then someone like you and multiple people were telling me I was getting them from that club and I love the improv that comics were doing the most reaching desperate fucking horrific shit and I almost wanted to go down one night and say yo can I close the show and fucking go nuts

and make sure they were all there but I was just in my own song but I will address it one day but like it was ugly he thought he was going to go in there like kicking open the saloon doors and just shoot him up style destroy them, put them in their place. He also thought he was going to go up in comics in the back. Like, do Jamie's up Jamie. And then they all run into the room.

Like, like, prior, just dropped in in 78. Yeah. Like, it's not like they're like, who's up there? They're like, oh, Jamie, you can't, fuck, Christ. Anyway, I haven't smoked a cigarette in 10 years. Let me go outside and bomb one. They just go, yeah, Jamie makes, I hate see Jamie makes me sad, man. He's like sad.

And he goes, they can't take my shit. And he's like, yeah, I just look at Jamie. It's like a dog with a big tumor on his back. It's sad. Like a golden retriever with a woman The goiter. Yeah, it's a dog that should have been put down, but they don't. You want to say something, but it's their dog.

It's not in your place. He's like, they can't handle this shit. This heat? Awful, ugly. Was it terrible? Terrible? Yeah, it was very sad and very gross. I have noticed it.

Disgusting. I saw it a bunch times. I saw it a ton of times. Because I saw shit online and I thought it was disgusting. Well, and also, like, just to give you, like, a little, like, what about? So now, now he does this. He loves to preface things saying, I know this is a hack thing or I know this sucks, but, and then he still does the hack thing.

Right. He's on line and I thought it was disgusting. He does it all the time. He does it all the time. He's a king of it. I know people hate like what about arguments. I very rarely hear George Floyd jokes and it's been like. No, what?

You don't hear George Floyd jokes? Have you never been on? You haven't looked at a phone in four years. Well, that's for sure. I haven't looked in the direction of a phone. To be fair, in stand-up, I imagine that's not a thing. Yeah, but he's on Twitter all the time. At the Hollywood Improv, sure.

Right. But I'm sure at the Improbs elsewhere, there's plenty of George Floyd jokes. Yeah. He's in, you're performing for Pink Wall, like a jamba-juice type people. That's true. And agents and stuff, and you're trying to get acting roles. Right, right, right, right. Also, I'm sure there have been George Floyd jokes at the Hollywood Improv.

And I'm sure they're just as bad as the Char as the Charteroos. Charlie whatever jokes. Yeah. I don't even believe what they're saying. I don't believe comics where I think Hollywood Improv, like, saying like really callous Charlie Kirk jokes. Yeah. No, that's not true at all.

No, I think, because I think you would have made it an example. Yeah, well, they've said nothing. What's your example? He's acting like every comic was going up and they were blowing whistles and, like, popping balloons. What was going on? Not true at all? Not true.

Not true. And every time I, you're right, but every time I open up my phone, I see George Floyd as the robots from the Terminator. I see memes where I think they're going to be making fun of Charlie Kirk and it ends up making fun of George Floyd somehow. Well, who was... Well, he's also like, nobody's doing jokes about George Floyd. It's like, well, the people who would just don't make jokes anymore.

They go on podcasts and talk about how you can't make jokes about George Floyd. And they think stand-up is for fags also. Who would be improv of being making, like, Charlie Kirk jokes? It's like Gabriel Oglacios. It's like, Charlie Kirk's neck was like... Brrr-R-R-R-R. Yeah, Pablo Francisco's in a cave. About Charlie Kirk.

Coming this summer. Charlie Kirk. Who? These guys, man, their only point of reference for anything for the next 15 years is going to be George Floyd. I swear to God. It's going to be like George Floyd and Charlie Kirk. That's all they got.

We're lucky to get a new thing. They walked into the movie Addington like it was the Purple Rose of Cairo. And they're just like, I live here now. This is my life. This is my life. This is my life. I'm just going to suck ass on. I'm going to invent imaginary scenarios that aren't real.

And I know, Jace, but Jeff Dye is very aware that people hate the what-ifs and that they're unfair. Sure. What about? He just, I get he just learned what the devil's advocate. No, Jeff has a good point. Why isn't a comic going up at the Hollywood Improv six years after the death of George Floyd and doing 45 minutes on it? It's a good point. Where is that?

That is true. Why is Chappelle not pulling up a stool and shitting on George Floyd in his specials? It's a good point. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. But Dave Chappelle will go up and he'll shut on Charlie Kirk. Did he even shit on Charlie Kirk?

According to Jeff Dye, every comedian is, if they talk about Charlie Kirk, they're shitting on him. But that just goes to show that you know he, like, sucked ass pretty much culturally. So if you mention his name, it must be shitting on him. Yeah. Yeah. That you want to be like it's sad. What happened? Yeah.

Jeff acts like they were friends, him and Charlie. Sometimes he says a pal, or he'll say a buddy of mine got killed. He acts like they were, like, do each other. Very strange. Yeah. He's a liar. I mean, he's a lying piece of shit. Yeah.

You want to hear him talking about Charlie Kirk, though? There we go. Eight years. No, five. Five years. Sorry. So if you're going for like the shock value or if you're saying, oh, come on, we're comics, it's like, well, where's your George Floyd jokes?

Like, because people wouldn't have had the gall to do a joke about George Floyd the same week that it happened. You know what's funny is you really do have to point out that they are, they've been talking about how nobody can take a joke and then they're complaining about a joke for 10 minutes in a row. It seems like they're the people who can't take a joke at all. Yeah, they're saying you shouldn't be allowed to make jokes about Charlie Kirk, ultimately. It's their sacred cow.

It's the thing that way, if you made a joke about that, why didn't you have to make it? Everything in your bit, your bits have to be 50% equal, coaching. You have to appeal to every single person who ever did equally. Because they want diversity. Yeah, they go, I want diversity. I make fun of the right all the time. No, you fucking don't. We all pick what we think is right and we dunk on everybody else.

Unfairly, that's life. Get used to it, cry, baby, fag. That's what we do. Where's Trey and Matt's jokes about? Biden, Jace. Sad. Sad. They have Tadias.

They have Tadius. Tadius. That's why they married a black woman who's insanely hot. Oh, they. Train of Matt. They both murdered. Yeah, but this is crazy, right? And if you say...

George Floyd was way worse of a guy than Charlie Kirk. Yeah. And we had to put a black square! I know. Think about this. Think about the lives of George. George Floyd and the life of Charlie Kirk. He didn't have to do it.

And then think about the black square. Yeah. And then think about the reaction to Charlie Kirk. Bro. It's truly the upside down. What are you talking about? The NFL was posting tributes about him. The Dallas Mavericks were like, we honor Charlie Kerr. Yeah, yeah.

The Yankees, I think the Yankees did. The White House did the flag at half-mast. He's a podcast. Yeah. He does our job. Okay, sir, no, no. No, no, it's good. No, you need to because these people are the biggest crybaby faggots to ever live.

That's what I'm saying. It's just don't be a crybaby fagets. baby fag, you know. Yeah. You don't have to, none of us posted the black swear. You didn't have to do it. We had to post the black swear?

I'm sorry, you were a coward. Did you? Did you do that? Oh, you did that. How about that? So you're a loser. Fag? I didn't do that.

Sorry, I tweeted something of shit on Jeff Dye. I'm seeing in the... Oh, yeah, it's taken off. Good. Hell yeah. Almost 400 phase. Very good.

Let me see both. You got to go to quotes, too, and see if anyone... All we have is X. Of course. It's the only thing we have left. Nice. A lot of comics are hitting it.

Very good. Very good. Beautiful. Classic. Beautiful. Classic stuff. Very good. Do you guys want to watch Boomer Slop?

Sure. Okay. Or hold, oh, actually, no, this should be on the, this should be the way to close out the main. I found a guy that, I think, I think, look, Devin, I've showed you a lot of people in my life. I've known you, like 13 years now. I think this one's really gonna take the cake here. Okay. All right.

It really sucks ass. Do I have like five? Can I go pee real quick? You can go pee. Okay. That's your version of like my life by the Beatles. There are retards I've made fun of. They.

Oh, it. In my life. All right. Because he really sucks my dick. These are my bookmarks, by the way. Okay. Just a bunch of, it's just a bunch of, I know.

Disgust. That's unbelievable. Kill yourself. Somebody blow that person's head off. So you kind of bounce, right? That isn't even what I'm showing you. That might be the front of them. I'm not even sure.

No idea what that was. Oh, my God. What do you mean? You don't know what it is? Your saved post. Imagine looking like that and being like, I got to go get my hair thumb. Okay. So you don't even know what you're looking at right now, Devin.

Yeah, I don't. Jayce, this is actually, this might scare. you a little bit more. It's going to set Devinoff completely. Okay. This is a guy named Andrew Robbins. He lives in... He's just like a kid. I do notice he has a bulge for some reason. So this is, is he a sexual kid type thing, I'm going to assume? It is a kink. He lives in an apartment in Hollywood. He moved here to make it as an actor. And he does tons of role play stuff on Instagram. Free strikes, kill yourself. These are children's toys on the ground. And he's wearing...

What is he wearing? You ready for the reveal? Here we go. Hello, there, Master Builders. And I hope you had an awesome. Christmas. I know I did. And I'm standing in the room where my parents keep me over the holidays. It's the toy room because I'm a Lego. Look at all these

awesome toys I got over the years. Like my Lego golf set. Remember? Dude, come on, man. Can you do like a minority report with these guys and be like he's going to be a pedophile, so let's just like kill him now? Dude, come on.

Can't they just arrest him now for like And like, well, we know the track you're on. I know. We need, like, ice for these guys. His dick is showing through the pants, too. Like, he's horny. Yes. And he's a Lego master builder.

You can tell he's doing this for the love of the game. He's not trying to get clicks. He's a piece of shit. And I think he's about, he's about 5'1. He's very tiny. He's very tiny. Very tiny. But he is a pedophile.

But that's the actor types. They move here. They're very type A. They're into their diet. I would love to throw this guy on a big vat of acid like a cartoon. And have him scream. Oh yeah, they're obsessed with their hair line, too. You can tell he's obsessed with his receding hair.

I know the type, because they got the low metabolism. Brokes to go. Do you see the almonds and seeds? Come. Lettuce. You do. A bunch of cum. I don't know if he's gay.

He might be in his sexual freak. He's gay. I can smell gay freak when I see him. He used to do a lot of digging with this back in the day. Isn't it? Awesome. You know, I don't think enough children die at birth. I'm out of jelly

Fucking asshole Guess I'll have to find something else What's the something else? Oh my God, dude What? When he came on the sandwich and ate it? So he's eating his gum Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

His demon fucking Demon's head He fucking sucks his blue eyes I know Dude I've never seen a I've never seen a curbst stompable face before.

That's crazy. Actor, singer, lives in Los Angeles. Here's his rep. He has a rap. Creative artists. He lives both in L.A. and New York City. He's bi-coastal. He sucks ass on both coasts.

That's right. I suck ass everywhere. This guy is the reason that, like, the Barney's Beanery and Weho used to have people coming in with, like, flame throwers. I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready I'm ready

For Bailey's birthday Happy birthday Bailey And remember I am ready He's about to set sail What This kind of day

Couldn't get much better But it keeps on trying So like if you're in the gay community You know like the Chris Rock joke because there's black people and there's N-words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're in the gay community, you're like, there's gay people and there's faggots.

Yeah. And then there's pedophiles. I forgot to tell you guys, he does SpongeBob role play as well. It's just all, it's brutal, man. I just, I hate, shown his feet. Bro, what are you doing? In bed, shown his feet. Yeah, I've been pretty busy lately.

I haven't been as present. He's a pregnant Lego. Is that what he's doing? Bro. No, man, what are you doing right now? Busy? Oh, this? Busy.

Lego? Supposedly helps with the Lego Inception. Oh, so he's saying I got came inside of And now I'm trying to... He's a Lego breeder. Ben. Was it called a brood mare? I don't know. I don't know.

I'm trying to get another little Emmett running around a house. You were wondering. A little Emmett. Because his character is Emmett. This is the character Emmett. Today I hear it's Liz's 52nd Lego birthday. Happy birthday. birthday, Liz.

Your kids, Bree and Jack told me that they're big fan of the Lego movie. This makes me want to abolish the First Amendment. I don't think we should have it anymore. I can't,

this is, I'm actually really depressed now. This is too, it sucks too much. I thought it was going to piss you guys off, but you're not, you're sad. It's really dark and fucked up,

man. It really sucks. Does that haven't heard of the Golden Gate Bridge? He lives amongst us. Why didn't he jump? Yeah. Have you guys seen this 9-1-1 show.

No. Oh, the Jennifer Love Hewitts in it, right? It's Boomer Slop. Yeah, it's Boomer Slop. I love these Boomer Slop shows that keep the world going around. I really forget about them. No, it's really for people who, if they have one more thought, they'll wake up.

It's, uh, there's, there's like, there's whole channels on TV that are just core, Phil, basically. Oh, yeah, here we go. This is the, this is an ad for a, show that's very, very popular. I've seen this. You seen this? It's called 911. I think it's in its ninth season. Yeah. And this is, this is a commercial for

the season premiere, Devin, of 911. Okay. Oh my God. Is that Jennifer Love Hewitt? Yes. It's Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yes. Is it? Yes. Yeah. That's her. Wow. Yeah. She's really beefed up. I'm a fan. I like it. Oh my God. The Knickerbockers right there. Yeah.

Love that. Everybody take cover! 118 race for impact what this is real yeah what is it on i think cbs oh my god ABC it devon i think it's one of the biggest shows on tv right now yeah Thursday that's a prime spot right Thursday at 9 yeah that's like the Seinfeld spot yeah oh my god no it's literally one of it's one of the more americans like watch that than they like watch the academy awards every year It's a big show That's insane

Check this out 9-1-1 Here's the trailer for Season 9 Who's killing me earlier Season 9 That they're on here Wait Ben we can't play this on YouTube

Never mind Very good, Devin Very good Which emergency Blue skies Hell yeah Part of what makes someone An everyday hero

Nothing but Boose So who is this Could you guys tell me she is. Because she has very sassy, like, I'm a black woman type lines in this show. That's actually a Cynthia Arrivo they made in a lab for this show specifically.

That's a Cynthia Arriva? They made a Republican Cynthia Revo for this show specifically. Why are white people more comfortable with black women when they shave their head? Because we know they don't respect themselves. We want them to look like Uncle Lester. It feels like

a buck-breaking thing a little bit of like you're gonna... You said it. but probably. Isn't that what it is? Why do white women love black women with the shaved head? Why can't they have dreads or why can't they have, you know? It's a little too urban. It's a little too urban for TV.

Yeah, because it's... Kevin, you're black. It's a thing where it's, um... I think black woman who shades her head, she doesn't have enough self-respect to yell at somebody. It makes them seem like they're, like, more poetic and intellectual. to white people. Interesting. I think.

That's interesting. Well, I will say a bald man typically is more beta in the white community. Right. So is it safe to say a bald black woman is more of a beta

in the black female community. I judge black women like it's the tarantulas in the rainforest. Like the bigger and weirder the hair than you know they might be even. You know what I mean?

It might go back to something like that. If they look like a bloom an onion, I walk across the street. They might yell at me and call me fat and really hurt my feelings. It's like, yeah, it's like a, if they've given up on their feminism, on their femininity, they're

like a revolutionary. Yeah. Like, it's like, why people want to be friends with black people that like, like, like, feel like Black Panthers or something. They don't want to be, they don't want to just be with like a black woman that's got, like, you know, just trying to be hot and has

you know, normal hair. Just trying to be hot sass going on. Check's out. You want every black woman to look like a fanny shaker. Yes. And they have to wear Mr. Potato Head glasses. Yeah. You want to, yeah.

They have to look like old Jewish men. Exactly. Yeah. I want my black woman to look like Jean Chalett. The willingness to say. Dude, this killed me earlier. Watch this right here. I want to lead into it.

Make someone an everyday hero. Nothing but booze guys. The willingness to saving lives. This is a real show on TV. A kayaker just got swallowed by a whale. Nine seasons in. This is what all the homeowners are watching. They're in their homes that they own.

They're appreciated eight, ten times. When somebody who's 45 tries to buy home for the first time and it's a two-bedroom and it's $4 million, the person who owns it is watching this show. And they go, sorry, can't go under four, Black Rock, just offered me five. And they go, anyway, back to my slop for pigs. I love ruining the world.

Feed me slop while I kill everyone. We all just live in different worlds now. This is, you know, you're talking about one battle after another, this and that, and the Marty Supreme. They have no idea. They have no idea. They have no idea. They don't know who Timothy Shalme is. They have no idea.

They're in season nine of this. They're so deep. They're so deep down the rabbit hole. I told you I went to Thanksgiving and like my you know most of the family there was like really cool and there was some like family of the family and they were just two guys who they were just sitting on the ground and I like we watch that show and then we were down with that show we watched that show that show and then somebody goes what about that show they go we like that show twice and I was like you're not even alive you're like little test tube creatures that just get like shocked yeah I those are the conversations I have with extended family. family like well we found a show we really like and we've been watching the show we think the show is good it's the whole conversation like they just watch everything they watch is called like hospital library farm farm oil cops they're the people who are the people who like fire department the police the police the worst generation grocery star

Yeah, it's people who, if they were the protagonist and I have in the mouth and I must scream, they'd be like, it's not too bad. I'm a big bowl of jelly that gets tortured. Fine with me. Fine with me. Nine and I don't got a walk. Can you keep? I want to actually watch the rest of this trailer.

It's a two-minute trailer. By the way, by the way, they're the 9-1-1. They're the cops, and they just responded to a whale eating a man and a guy jumps into the ocean. How the cops get? Does he say, like, Geronimo? By the way, they're like in Santa Monica. Like, there's gigantic whales. Eating behind them.

Eating, eating kayakers. And there's random cops who are just jacked as shit. Cops jump into the ocean when they hear a whale at somebody. They go, we're the police. This is our job. And then they jump 80 feet off the Santa Monica Pier into the ocean. They love just military industrial complex funded, like just Pinnocon funded shows. There's going to be a show called drones one day.

And it's just, the characters are drones. We got them out Pulled them out of the whale It's a mammal, sir He's like, thank you, Shaq I think you should have never left the Lakers Thank you, Sheriff Shack

I saw your show on A&E For you for a sheriff Thank you, Shannon Sharp thank you thank you club for saving my oh tarot cruz

you saved my life oh everybody mike tax is a hero thank you cheeseburger Eddie it's hamburgers sorry

which wage brother are you I don't know I'm sorry sorry were you the one who directed in living color you're the ivory

one the white one ivory Are you the Benny or Josh Safdi of the Wayne brothers? You can, you know the difference, right? Why, there's so many of you? Thank you for saving me from the big... You guys are retired. He's like, you save me from the big thing in the large water.

Thank you. Yeah, slop for tarts. Coming soon. Coming soon. The night season of slop for tarts. It's great. This Thursday. It's crazy.

all the assets. Yeah. Just from the dividend hacks and the, just the, everything. Everything. A generation born with so much and done so little whatsoever. They got a cashier's job and bought a house when they were 20. A generation that gave birth and then shot their baby in the head. Just a horrible generation top the bottom.

And these shows do exist for actors who were big to pay off the rest of their mortgages before they retired. Correct. I think Rob Lowe was in the show, right? She is. Yeah, he does just keep watching. Yeah. You save me from that fish. It's a mammal, sir. I want to reward you for it.

You do not have to reward me. I was just doing my job. Tripp Hauser is sending you to space. You're coming with me. I am a serious scientist. Tripp Hauser doesn't care about serious science. I can't go to space. You want me to go into space with me.

See? I ain't going to space with all these white people. My black hair is long, so I'm sassy. suck. That's who I am on the show for all you. For you, Todd's at home. You think I'm going to space with you. Is that Angela Bassett?

It is Angela Bassett. A lot of the boomers are experimenting with being gay, by the way. Like lesbian relationships, the husband fell off. I know about that personally. I've seen it. We've all seen it, Jace. They all have administrative roles in school districts. They're all gay now in their 50s, 60s, you know.

Devin, I'm saying this show exists for Angela Bassett to work two weeks a year and keep her sack card and pay for mortgage. Crazy, absolutely not. I can't believe I let you talk me into this. You did not just talk me into going into space, baby. Now they're going to get on a spaceship and go into space. Skies are clear this morning at mission controls.

We are counting down to the maiden voice. You got to have a space to kill a whale. Yeah, by the way, the name of the show is 911. 9-1-9-11. 9-11. 9-11. So I think they're going into space to maybe hit a meteor? Is it the plot of Armageddon?

I thought it was like an Elon Musk type guy and he's just sending him to space as a publicity. I haven't made it as far. But I'm assuming something bad will happen. We're sending in the first black woman in space. We're sending in two black dikes to explode the meteor. They're going to sass the meteor to death. The meteor's going to give up and fly away

because they were so rude to it. Hauser has assembled five everyday heroes for this historic flight. They're all women? There's an old white guy, a young Mexican guy. That lady from UCB. Who is she? Yeah.

She was from Dian Raphael or whatever. Is she from 30 Rock, that lady? Suck shit. What is I'm looking at? What am I looking at? The beginnings of a geomagnetic storm. We should scrub the launch. We are not scrubbing this launch.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Damn and calm down. Jesus. Punch it. Everything isn't that over. Yeah. We're close, but. This is a cocoa melon for boomers, is what it is.

Yeah. All contact with the spacecraft was lost due to a sudden geomagnetic storm. In the middle of all that chaos, our hen and Athena. What do you guys think is going on out there? The end of the world. Everybody! In the engine! You knew about this, and you sent those people up there anyway. The one thing I know about our moms, they never give up.

Our black moms would never die in space. It's crazy. I know. That's unbelievable. That's on ABC. I know. The one positive is that anytime I see a trailer, I go, oh, at least the Asian guy from Wolf of Wall Street's got a job.

Good for him. Yeah, right. I was wondering who that was. Yeah, that's right. It was him. So see, Rob Lowe is a big character in it. Everybody under the truck. There's that famous clip between CPR on a Frozen game.

He caves his chest in. Oh, can I watch that? Yeah, yeah. that was going viral. Do like 911 Roblo CPR Frozen. That sounds good, Jace. That went viral because nobody had heard of the show and they're like, what is the show?

Why is Roblo on it? Like, what's going on? Brett freezes to death. Is it that? No, that's a different show called 911 Lone Star. There's a Texas version. Oh, there's a clip of it right there. This one, the fire brigade?

The short, yeah. Or this one. Do that one, yeah. Or maybe that's got music. Maybe the other one. Let's see. All right, let's try to get him on the floor. Get some warming blankets.

He's frozen. Like, like, he was in one of those ice machines. That makes you really cold. No pulse. But he got left in it.

Starting compressions. Cap medical's here. He goes. There's his frozen chest is. Look at his face. I can't. I have no respect for that generation. At all.

Burn in hell. The worst generation. Burn and hell. I hope you get the highest taxes. I hope you're found out. I hope you're alive when we break it to your homes. I hope the government, I hope the government seizes your house.

I hope you're put in old people's barn. You've done nothing for anybody. The silent generation kicks ass and you guys fucking sucked it. And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chain Don't you like my chine mine

Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chine mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci I came to the club Just to flush my chine line Catch another charge and I'm going to the chine gang

Oh I think I'm icy Sold a hundred dial Ebe alone is sex and white screen Don't you see how bright it is City girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is They think my chain was moving It's out the chain Shit off and bawling all right

Don't you like my chain mine Yonge Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain And my checkup is so fruited I ain't know you call me Gucci Gucci My chain my chain Don't you like my chain mine Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain And my check a bit so

I ain't know you call me call me Goochie, Gucci, you be shy. Gucci, you be shining, man. Don't turn me on home. Tell me who your... My girlfriend acting like. She say I'm acting different just because I got this chain. Yellowstones holland at you later on.

My chain hanged to my shoe's crank. Like my watching wine, but I know you love my chine. Don't you like my chine, mine? Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain. My chakabit's a bit so fruited. Call me Gucci mine. No, you call me Gucci Gucci. My chain, my chain.

Don't you like my chine mine? Y'all goochie mine, and I'm popping off the chine, mine. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci, mine. No, you call me Gucci, Gucci. My first chain I had to rob for it. Jesus peace, yellow diamond sitting all in it. I'm on some slick brick shit.

2006, Mr. T. Diamond's so bright. Ain't a way you can't see the G. Look, I don't dance. I just lean with it. My piece is sick Gary Robert trying to leave with it I got that New York fitted on full suit dicky on Gucci link chain Blue stones in a nigga charm

Now watch me do it do it with no hands Traps when he crammed on that bezel and that band Cause I'm the man I'm the man got no wife but my chain got my girlfriend My chain my chain, don't you like my chine mind Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chide And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine

No you call me Gucci Gucci My chain Don't you like my chine My chine mine Y'all goochie mine And I'm popping off the chain And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine

No you call me Gucci Mine No you call me Gucci Gucci Gucci