lemonparty - 172: Toilet Dinner

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

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Cheers. That's fine. He only existed for guys who, you know, want to be cool and smart to read one of his books. I, e. Me, when I was 21. I know he's an interesting guy, but, like, testing check. He's like Joe Rogan and Johnny Depp's, like, favorite guy, so. Yeah, so that's, yeah.

Can you turn up the headphones? It's, like, way too. Is it not loud for you guys? I got no snare in my headphones. Checking, testing. I think it's a little too loud. That's too loud. That's too loud.

Test one, two. We'll turn mine up then. Is that a song? Yeah, turn that down. And then which one is yours? Test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test. Which one's yours? Oh, this is a way too loud.

Test, test, test. That's mine, Jess. That's mine. Is that good right there? Yeah, a little bit more. A little bit more? Yeah, there we go. Okay.

Hello, hello? We good? Yeah. Does it sound like us? Is that us? What are you digging through? What are you doing? in your bag?

You're like a little monkey. I can start. this podcast whenever I want. We start the podcast. You tell me. I know. You're taking a monkey. You're taking a note out of Trump's playbook this week.

And by the way, I got to say, this was pretty good. No, it's, I like the video because it's actually, it brings us all together. That's why I thought he posted it. I know. This was like. I think in his mind, he's like, let's all come together. We in the jungle. But he's just, he literally.

To call the Obama monkeys? Yeah. And I think in his mind, he's like, yeah. they're black. They look the most like monk. Yeah. I mean, in his,

of course. Yeah. Not mine. Like Antifa's like, oh, okay, let's put the signs down. I think he's,

yeah, I think he's, yeah. So this is AI. What? This is AI. I thought it was real. You're telling me.

I thought this was on Broadway. You respond, you respond, Grock is this real? I know, I saw this the other day. And I was like This is like

This is like this like wants me to turn into like 2017 Stephen Colbert Yeah Almost a little bit I was like even for him That's great like you're calling The Obama's monkeys Yeah

From the like white house Twitter account or whatever But then there was all the people That are like if you kept watching Joe Biden's a monkey in it too Okay Oh yeah that's fair He is keep watching It'll completely

I think Kamal Harris is a turtle It'll erase all claims of Racism This is also the gayest shit of all time I think this country needs something like this Is that Gavin Newsom Thank God we finally We brought jib jabs back from 2004

We brought back the Yeah, Camas a turtle No, but Biden's a monkey as well Who's that guy? He's the gay guy, right? And Trump is a lion, he's the king of the jungle Cory Booker, the black A guy right? Wait, is Barry Weiss a pig?

That's Olivia, Giuliana, or whatever. The big fat lady. Okay, that's good. Okay, this video's good now. Who's that? Is it Kobe? Other than it was Cory Booker. That is, yeah, it's Cory Booker.

Is that a Whoopi Goldberg? That was Whoopi Goldberg. And he's the king of the jungle. It fades to black and it says, produced by Nick DePaolo. Executive producer. What is? A whoopee's a big rhino. That's good.

Yeah. No, that's good. That's good that the president does that. It wasn't he didn't post it, you guys. His staffer, Richard Spencer. You know, and Devin comes out the gate. I'm just trying to have some gummy bears. You're taking into a bag.

You're Chinese guy maxing right now. You look like a Chinese guy at the park. Eating birds seed. Eating a fruit no one's ever heard of. The birds keep thinking they're going to eat what's in your sack, but you keep eating. Yeah. You refuse to give it to the birds. You're one of those guys is always on like an Eastern diet, some sort of bizarre. You'll be boiling frogs and stuff in them with tadpoles and like those freaky videos of those really those mountain Chinese, those mountain China.

He's going to eat that stuff when COVID started. They put that, uh, the hot tub bat soup. Yeah. And it'll be in that stuff. You guys are just triggered because the jester is gummy-mogging you right now. You're getting gummy-mogged by the, by the jester. You're You are looks maxing. You're gummy-mogged, F-sler. I love how, like, it's, they think, like, they're, like, they're, like, racist, umpalumpas, that whole. What is the, like, that clavicular, that type of talking? I don't know.

What is that? Do we have to learn this language? I think, yeah, unfortunately. Are we going to all have to learn this thing? Only if you want to talk to it. I mean, I have no desire to speak to any of these people. Like, it kind of is it nice. It's like they're building a.

wall between us and them. Like a language barrier. Yeah. That's true. They'll become a new Chinese, is what you're saying. They're like the zombies in a, uh, 28 years later. Like, you know, they can't really speak. Right.

Ray finds. Moon. Moon. Moon. Clivocular looks up at the moon and goes, Moon. Ray Fiends is like, I think, I think I can make you sane again, Kovicular.

Like I can make you read. Now let's be gay together and dance. I mean, that's, Let your dick flop around and dance. What's his name, Kaysenat's stream? He's like, the cat jumped over the log. He quit, I think, to learn to read. I think he quit streaming to go learn to read.

Yeah, he went to like a Buddhist temple. Yeah. He shaved his head. And there's a guy who looks like Pimei from Kill Bill, teaching him the word run. What the crazy thing about him is he will say like, str... And they'll go, Google, how do you say that? It's like, strategy. He's like, okay, what does strategy mean?

Yeah. But he's acting like he's attaining brain wealth. Mm-hmm. Like he's becoming J-Z in his head. Yes, yes. Which is the black, that's the black, that's the richest man you can be. Is J-Z. Is J-Z?

Yes. To black people. Yeah. Yeah, they, they, we're finished. I mean, these people are, like I said, you know, I've said before, like they are brought up on the news. Like streamers, like, clavicular will be on breaking points next week. Yeah. Kisenet swung Minnesota.

That's how Trump want. It's always shit like that. Look, I mean, there's darker things out there than... Who cares about the monkey thing? Who gives a fuck? Look at this. The guy's a pedophile. You should be more outraged by the...

Who's this? No, no, I'm fine with that. Who's a pedophile? Who? Donald J. Trump? Oh. I hate to be the... You don't shoot the messenger, but apparently they've been eating babies this whole time.

Hands up, don't shoot. Don't get mad at me. Has Stephen Colbert even talked about it? this by the way at all or it just doesn't matter it's still about decorum and shit like that yeah are they still like they still doing like the orange man is bad they're like did you see what he tweeted it's like yeah people in the eyes like he raped kids talk about the kid raid he's like he misspelled the word in his tweet he said kaffeefeefei he said kaffee do we forget he's inside of a child coming right now can you talk about that um

The spray tan looks bad. They just never care about what's important whatsoever. Whatever. Too many people are in it. DePaolo's in it. Nick DePaolo. Which is crazy. I know.

You say he's going to sue anybody who tries to talk about him being... Because he met up with Epstein. Nick DePaulow. Post him pleading guilty. Yeah. So he was already convicted pedophile. I couldn't believe that. I thought he would like hate Jews to not...

I couldn't believe he would like care to me what he had. Yeah, that's actually the problem. He loses his whole fan base. It was crazy the amount that Epstein would dangle Woody Allen in front of people in emails. Like, come, come on. He made the man made Hannah and his sisters. Come on, come down. Fuck a kid.

You could eat some kid balls. Talk about crimes and misdemeanors. Tonight it's a cinephile island. Joe de Rose is there asking Woody Allen to sign his DVDs. asking Woody Allen if he likes baseballs. Jeffrey Epstein has an email, by the way. All it says is, I get to his assistant. It says, order Bobby Slate and a pizza.

Yes. Because they went together. Bobby Slade and DePaul went together to Jeffrey Epstein's house. Apparently, Epstein loved Bobby Sladen as a comedian. Wow. That's how DePaul got the inn, I'm pretty sure. He was like a big O&A guy. Yeah, apparently.

That's what he. He started the island for Whip It Out Wednesday. The Nick DePaula thing blew my fucking mind, actually. I never in my life thought I'd see his name pop-pup. Also, his email's so funny because he goes, hey, I had a great time with you and Woody. By the way, there's some crazy things about you in the news. Yeah. Which was, I just thought was fun.

Yeah. He's acknowledging that he was a convicted sex offender at the time they were hanging out, right? Yeah. That everyone pretty much was hanging out with him. He was a tier one, pedophile. Tier one, like Delta Force for pedophiles. He took a sweetheart deal. He should have gone to prison for wife.

Took a sweetheart deal. Is that what the judge called it? The judge was like, you're a sweetheart. You're a big sweetie pie. You get the sweetheart deal. God, I love those cheeks, you little cherub. The ladies love Epstein. We got to get him back on the streets.

F, you're a cutie patootie. Get back out there. It's so funny because it's basically like a year and a half of house arrest, so he was just door-dashing babies to his brownstone. Just like Puerto Rican. on a bicycle going down riding around Central Park with a baby.

He has to try and get a refund on DoorDash because the baby was dead when it showed out. He's taking a picture of it and being like, the bag was not sealed, the baby was already dead and back. The driver dipped in to the baby. This is beyond the pale. It's beyond the pale?

Beyond the pale. I am imagining a guy showing up with a... Yeah. In like a rotisserie bag from... Yes. It's a hot, wet bag. And it's taped so you can

see if they dug into it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And then Epsi, you know, he opens the outer sack and then he's like, the tape is fucking ripped. Yeah. And he calls for it. And he, yeah, so he has to take the picture, send it in, right out. This guy totally fucked this before it got here. It's formaldehyde and a Starbucks cup with tape over it, like it's a raspberry drink. Yeah. And then they offer him a refund of like 30% and he freaks the fuck out. It has to order it again. Yeah. Yeah.

So he was on house arrest. there's some other good stuff in the files too like tons tons of good stuff oh so one of the things i found today was when the fbi arrested him at teeterboro the airport in jersey they were driving him to manhattan and he they made notes of what he was saying and i guess he was kind of quiet and he turned and he said is this about sex trafficking and they said yeah at the airport no way when he was in the vehicle. And they made notes and he also said, is this about the underage stuff? Is this about sex trafficking? And they go

yeah, and he goes, oh. He goes so this goes, this goes way, way back. He goes, way back. He goes, this is bad. This is really bad. That's all he said in the car. Jeffrey Epstein said that? Yeah. Those are the notes they made. You can find the notes of them writing down what he said in the car. It's so funny.

That's what I'm saying is it's funny to have fuck so many children and you're like, all right, I'm not going to. Before you even give me what it is, it's about fucking the kids, right? That's crazy. Because they could have been like, he could have been like, is this about the kids? And they're like, no, you have like a bunch of, like, parking tickets. Yeah, right.

What is this about kids? What did you say? I think when a whole SWAT team shows up and they're like leading, and they know where he's going. Yeah, but he was playing Fortnite a lot. Maybe he got swatted. Yeah, exactly. But they were streaming. They were leading into the place they keep like dictators and stuff.

Right. They knew he wasn't going to like a drunk tank to sleep, to sleep off the 30. years of human trafficking he's been doing. Now get in there and think about what you've done. Come out later. It was it Andy Griffith, like knocking on his door? Yeah. Yeah.

Party five. Right. Andy, the guy who locked himself up when he's drunk, but it's Jeffrey Epstein. He goes, Andy, I'm going to do it again. Better lock me up in the jail. Yep. Order a pizza for Bobby. Well, Andy, he's going to fuck a bunch of underage people.

We don't walk him up, Andy. Was the guy who played Barney Fife, was he gay? Yeah, Jim Neighbors, yeah. He was a gay guy. Yeah. No, but who was the guy who played Gomer Pyle? He was gay also. Oh, that was, sorry, that was Jim Neighbors.

That was Jim Neighbors. That was Jim Naves. Don Knott's. But Don Nott's wasn't gay. No. No, he wasn't. Don Nott's got lots of pussy, as we know. Jim Neighbors, though, was a gay guy.

Big gay guy. Yeah. And he got his own spin-off show. Yeah, called... Big gay guy. That was the name of the show. He died of butt fuckers. You can read the Wikipedia.

Yeah. It was, it was... Cause of death. Cause of death butt fuck. Paul... Paul Lynn ripped his ass open. Getting his shit split. Yeah.

Cause of death. Paul Lynn went, oh my God, I just ripped your ass in half. Cause of death, he was cracked open. Like a crumb. Like a big crab. No, he had, it was, um, it was like, uh, Goomer Pyle Marine Corps or something like that.

Gomer Pyle, USMC, I think. And it was Gomer went to the Marines because he was getting so popular on the show. Andy Griffith was like, he has to get out of here because this is my fucking show. Right. Nobody fucking outshines me. Especially a fucking gay guy.

Yeah. I think, did he die of AIDS? Probably. Also kicked him off the show because he was a gay guy. Probably that, too. No place for that in Mayberry. If you were a gay guy. town, unless you're, they will kill you like Jake Gyllenhaal at the end of Brokeback Mountain.

Do they kill them at the end of Brokeback Mountain? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, with a tyrant. Yeah. Why don't they kill Heath Ledger? Heath Ledger's not available. Yeah, he's more closeted. Heath Ledger was living in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah. Trying to hold calm in his ass for 80 years. Jake was more open. Jake was gone down to, like, Mexico and shit. Yeah. Jake couldn't hold it in. Jake had the throat. He was throbbing the whole time.

But Heath moved to the woods. to be gay. Heath lived in, like, a trailer and pretended to, like, date women. He was miserable. Yeah. And walked around with his shoulders up because he wasn't getting caught. He would, like, take his wife to, like, see fireworks and then, like, take all this gay rage out on some, like, bikers that were, like, kick a guy in the child. Yeah.

Nice. He goes, what a queer guy do this overcompensate for being closet gay guy? So there's all these I love L.A. characters at the Sprouts and Silver Lake, this new sprouts where I got the cherry-cola gummies. It's brutal. You have a real infestine. station over here. Oh, I know, I know. Do you walk around just red? I walk around with raid.

A cherry apple. I take raid with me, like a mace. I spray people with rain. You're a big candy apple walking around, turning red, getting pissed off. Do you spray like a Rachel Cinnat type and she crawls up like a big spider? Like her legs and hands on. I have steam coming out of my ears watching these people interact. What do you see?

The guy who pretends to be a brokeback mountain guy where he has the cowboy like cattle rancher jeans with the mate with the mullet. Yeah. Yep. But he has the ring and he has all the little tattoos of like a weird little vintage mirror and on this side

it says permanent like a riptide is what it said. Oh it's it's it's a riptides aren't permanent. Yeah. You know it's the longing for permanence that causes suffering. So it's like a little Eastern Zen thing and he had on the wife beater which is very working

class. Yeah. He has a wife beater. A very expensive hat. The perfect haircut with it trimmed right here really close. The wife beater tucked in to the dress pants with the belt. The Italian belt. And he's gay. Yeah. He's a gay guy and he was with a beautiful, very thin black woman. Right. Right. With frizzy black hair who's beautiful. Yes. And they're not dating because he's a gay guy. Because he's a gay guy. Yeah. And these two are just doing. Was he really fagging it up? That's how you knew he was gay or he just had an energy. No, he was doing like the, I hate that shit.

He was picking up stuff like, and I'm gay. Yeah, right. Let me get that gayling. There we go. I'm gay. Oh, my personality is what I'm doing to myself what the patriarchy did to me for years. My entire identity is getting fucked by man. But by the way, like me being, I look like a worm these days.

Sure. I have, I ate McDonald's breakfast this morning. Your life is falling apart. It's falling apart. Yeah. Falling apart. Your dogs have like pirate diseases. It's crazy.

Yeah. Did you see any? This guy could have kicked my fucking ass. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're just a really good shape. He heard they're jack. Yeah. How are they in such good shape? I don't know.

You see these gay guys where they wear those like the, the, the, like the football jerseys, kind of. The crop tops. Like, they play for gay sex. They're on the gay. Like, they're on the gay sex team. Yes. They play for, they're terrified.

They play for F you. Those guys, I don't mess with gay's rule. But the gays that are with hot black chicks. They need to be killed. Well, I kind of want to be like, this is fuck. You should, she should be, this isn't right. This isn't right. You're hogging.

You don't even, you're smog. You're on a bed of gold that you are guarding and you don't even need money. You're a dragon. You're a dragon. Why are you guarding these whores and this money? You have no use for them. You're not buying a coffee. You have no use for it.

You're not buying a coffee. Let someone harass her. Someone could be harassing her in line right now, but you're being gay next to her. No, it's a normal. She should be with like an abusive, really straight guy. That's what I'm saying. Emotionally, manipulative, possibly physically abusive guy. So she really can like learn a thing or two in early days,

but instead she's with a queer. Who's listening to her stories from beginning to end and following them? She does that. She gets maybe, I don't know how what type of black lady this is, but, you know, whatever. It was an I Love L.A. black lady. Right. Dad is like Quincy Jones. Yeah, exactly.

Yes. Something like that. Yes. It was very insecure. Or she has an Uncle Ruckus dad. She's dating a homosexual guy, a white guy. A white gay gay. To piss Uncle Ruckus off even more.

Uncle Ruckus just blows his head off. Because he's like, I can't believe you're the white person, and he's a homo. I'm going to lynch myself right now. That's how offensive this is. He ties himself to the back of his own tribe. And puts a big brick on the gas spell. Oh, my God. Was that bad?

No. I love it, James. Goat milk. Goat milk. Sorry, I took too much magnesium. I'm going for it today. You're really nauseous, too, you said. Yeah, I'm really nauseous.

Yeah, I took too much magnesium. But, yeah, the Silver Lake, your Silver Lake area has gotten worse since the show came out. Devin, this is the, I've, no, I know. I've come to your house now for, like, 12 or 13 years or something since, since 2014. So that I've been here. Long time. This is the worst it's ever been. It's subtle.

That is not. That is not true. Well, actually it is. Actually, it is true. Okay. So in 2014, 2015, there were pirate hats. Remember when guys who wear pirate hats and the tight hipster shirts? But those guys actually would ruin their life to try to start, like, a company that made, like, candles out of love or some bullshit.

You know what I mean? Like, they'd go into debt. Like, they tried to, like, run businesses. These people are just raping the earth. They all happily live in the box apartments that are essentially middle class projects that they build. They make them out of balsa wood. You charge $3,000. You live in your own town.

You'll never need to go anywhere. You'll rent forever. You go to sweet green salt and straw that are in the lobby. You, you know, you kicked out a, there was a family that used to own a pupusaria used to be there. Yep. You know. You've turned your life into those rat park experiments they do. Now you're just raping the earth.

You go to the undefeated store. You go to like all the bullshit places. Bar Flores, I think. There's a place. There's a fame. Oh my God. It was ground. Ground zero.

Ground zero. I'm guessing it's a bar that looks like a hardware store from the outside. There was a bunch of people standing in the back of a Jeep out front. Yeah.

I want to fire an IRP. Hanging out. Grand theft auto style to get the machine got out. Maybe that's the reason the new Grand Theft Auto is taking so long as they're making gay people you can kill in hipster areas of

of cities. Yeah, because they change. They kind of changed pretty rapidly. They're just more soulless now. You know, at least like the fucking the guys back in the, the day, like... The Lumineers guys.

The Lumineers, queer's fucking were like, you know, at least like trying. There was an earnestness to them that has now been replaced with a Rachel Senate-level irony that is very corrosive to the soul of your area. Yeah, it's a sollessness. I saw a guy last... Two weeks ago, I was there again some food, and I saw a guy pacing out in front of the door. Straight guy, a little kind of... Kind of looked like he should be Ratso-Rizzo, but was trying to pull off the getting pussy and

Silver Lake thing. Not very well. And he was just walking back and forth on his phone being like, well, I already gave him the second draft of the screen. place will tell him I need more money if I get the third right and I'm like there's no way there's somebody on the other end of that line whatsoever yeah you're saying it out loud yeah yeah barton stink yeah he's trying little shrimp yeah literally a guy do faking a phone call in front of the whole foods to try and get pussy yeah yeah that guy's a sea monkey yeah he should be a very tiny little thing that's in a

tank of water you could try him that I can tap on the glass and say fuck you you're nothing he should have been born in a big envelope I pour in a glass of water when I was nine and then I get bored him and then I flush him and all his family down the toilet. Because I don't care about him anymore. Fuck you. I go, fuck you. And then he's talking about a screenplay while he's getting flush. Yeah. With your turds?

With my turd. Yeah, shit on top of it. I don't even give them the dignity of a single flush to kill them. I was saying that last night in my stream. Just I wanted to flush some guy with my, like a turd. Well, you shrink him down? No, where he's just, if I had a toilet big enough to flush him down the toilet. Okay.

And he's like, bro, why are you flushing me down the toilet, bro? So it's big enough to flush a human, but your turd is still the normal size that it is. That's right. So it's just kind of around him in general. Just kind of around. But there should be a big toilet where you could flush these people, I think. There's a big public toilet, not for turds, not for piss, not for shit, but for human beings. Yeah, I agree.

Cadavers, living people, whatever. Dogs that suck ass. Those go into. Those go into the toilet. Yeah. You flush like three dogs at once and they get clogged. You have to get a big bunch of because they're all stuck together. I don't want to know where it goes.

Nobody knows. Nobody. You're not allowed to know. The people who... Hopefully. If it's built right. The people who fix the toilets when it breaks, they're like, I don't even know where it goes.

Yeah. You hope it just goes. It has to be the one guy that built the big toilet. That's where it goes. Yeah. The Chinatown guy of the big toilets. The John Houston character. Yeah.

What other type of fucking... See, that's the problem. There's like... The women are homos now. too. The women are gay? The women are homos. You look at women in these hip neighborhoods and you go, you're fucking gay. Like in the same way you meant it, like in the 90s for your lame friend. You just suck ass. Yeah, you suck ass.

The women suck ass now. You don't even want to fuck them. They suck ass. I mean, you will, of course. Of course. They have pussies and faces. You can fuck both. Look, I mean, I'm limping around the grocery store. I look insane. I'm a big gummy worm. Yeah, I'm not even. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm You don't even. You do look nuts. Look, the people, if I said hi, I tried to say hi to somebody, they always act like it's rude now. Yeah.

People don't know where I'm coming from. I don't know if I'm making much sense. I smell like Coca-Cola. You look at a Cadbury salesman. A door-to-door camera. A door to Cadbury salesman. Or you look like the last dipping dots guy. Like the last, like, you look like you have the-

one employee left at the company. left with the umbrella and the stand. Well, there's a CEO still. You got kicked out of Knott's Berry Farm and you're just rolling it around, like, fighting like the Mexicans selling mangoes. Yeah, everybody's so mean to you. Because they know you're the last dipping guts guy. You're the last dipping dots guy.

You suck ass. The last guy. It's like the book of Eli, but I have a cup of shitty ice cream and sucks ass. You're like, it's a technology never before seen. They're dots. You've memorized. They all stay together. They don't form one big ice cream.

You've memorized how to make dip and dots, the recipe. Everybody's trying to kill you. You look like you work at hot dog on a stick. I'm just really, I'm laughing at the door-to-door Cadbury sales, but his stuff, like him sticking his foot in the door and being like, just a minute, ma'am. The eggs have caramel inside of them. He's like, get out of my house. I already cracked it open. You want to bite?

Ooh, you want to suck a little bit out of it, out of my hand? You want the goo? I can hold it like a bird, and you could eat it like a squirrel. But yeah, what are the other, what were the other types of people you saw it? today at the sprouts. I mean, it's ground zero. There are some, there's some perennial archetypes walking around, so we're like, you have the Miss Frizzle, which is a classic.

Sure. The people who are so dead inside, they dress like a big rainbow. Yeah. Clown. I call them the worst pussy of all time. That's the vibe they're giving off. This will be the worst sex you've ever had in your life. They're the people that they might, and I'm not trying to do like a politics thing,

but they might still be kind of acting like we're in a pandemic still. Uh-huh. They love to teach people that... They definitely have a mask on them, ready to pull out. It's... They're in education forever. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything, like, their day is a list of things they have to do. Like, it's an assignment from a teacher. They're forever just in elementary school. Yeah. The type of... They do arts and crafts. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They have big shitty earrings that suck ass and piss you off.

That suck dick. Yeah. They have, like, birdhouse earrings that make you mad. There was another type of, like, lady and honestly I don't like that they're hanging on in this area there was an elderly there was an elderly Mexican woman and I said ma'am it's time to let go no I know it's time to move on I know this it didn't work out here you had a good run yeah the whites are here now yeah they suck I do I see it's it's time to go you're moving way too slow in the candy I don't

lady at like the new sprouts like an older Mexican woman you're like it's like seeing a bald eagle you're like that's crazy it feels like the last of the maikin's nuts how are you still here you're the Native American with a tear. I thought Rachel's Senate went straight to your house and shot you in the face to build Dodger Stadium. Yeah, and now you're

buying artisanal elote. Exactly. You're buying fake elote. But she, that grocery store used to be a Johns or a Varns or whatever. Her son got shot to death and it was beautiful.

It was a beautiful thing. It used to be a rioted where people would literally, it was, they had apocalyptic style like escape routes where they'd zigzag on the, like,

and then they'd be tackled by the security. It was a Rite aide you went to steal Plan B medication. Yeah. Specifically. Yeah. Guys out front that look like little homies, the little guys you get from the video machines. Those guys, that's done now.

I mean, also, listen, I'll say the Sprouts is been a huge plus. I hated everyone at that right aid. But what is she doing? She's not getting an Rolipop. She, we don't know what she's doing. We don't have your heart. She's doing. She's doing Insta-Straking her ass off and bringing it to some piece of shit.

She's bringing some guy like, thank you. I've unfortunately caught myself. I've gone to that Sprouts like three or four times now. And I look around and, hey, I guess I'm being racist. I'll look around and I'll see a guy. I'm like, there's no way you're at Sprouts. I'm like, there's no way this guy's. I know.

Because his grocery, the cart is so full of shit. I'm like, you don't eat that. And I can even spot couples that are door dashing together. I'm on to both of you. I'm looking at like a, you know, I don't know, a guy with a really big shirt. A really big shirt. Really big. With a big graphic image on it.

And I'm like, you're not eating. And mackerel. This is for somebody else. A guy in a big dog... You're shopping for somebody. Yeah, a shirt where it's a big dog shirt, but he's getting his dick sucked. It's, yes. Yeah.

It's a shirt that has curse words on it. And I call them curse words. I don't care for that. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care for the vulgarity on your shirt. Excuse me. I have to get home and be racist.

I have to be racist at 9 p.m. for my podcast. Excuse me? No, I know. I've seen that, too. It makes me sad seeing the old Mexican ladies wandering around Whole Foods. Do you imagine them going to Catholic Church still and like praying to God to kill all the gay people in their neighborhood?

Well, I mean, there's the one right here. Kill the gringo. There's the famous one here where Gigi Allen used to... Like, eat shit. Yeah, used to eat poop. Like a baby bird. Outside this. This one right here, it's in the song. The Carmelita. Or is that Warren Zevon. Warren Ziva. Carmelita? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carmelita, home me closer.

This is where... I think I'm... Hit it down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the white. It was the white. It was the white boomer music where you look up into the sky. And still blame your wife for your divorce. Yeah, you hate your life, but you live in Marin County. But you think of those two years where you just fuck the shit out of your ex-wife

and it was cool because you're both co-cads. The songs where you're like, that big old crazy son. Went outside and I saw the big old crazy son. You're right. And it's a guy who's 61 to be like, well, I shouldn't kill myself. Yeah. It's a beautiful life. It's Santa Fe music kind of.

So white people. New Mexico music. So it was right. It wasn't G.G. Allen has a cool cover of it, but Warren Zivan wrote it. Didn't Gigi? And he... He already, like, a Civil War. Like, soldier. They sawed both of his legs off. He got hit with a big cannonball. How did G. G.G. Allen died. Do you know?

You were a G. G.G. Allen or Warren Zivon? He said Warren Zvon. died of brain cancer. He did go to the doctor for his whole life. Yeah, he ate sandwiches. I think Giaon just killed himself. That's cool. I can look it up. Who cares? I mean... I don't care. Don't look it up. Yeah, actually, who cares.

cares don't look it up put your phone on he doesn't deserve to be known but anyway carmelita in the song she's now at the sprouts between the two gay between the brokeback mountain and the black lady carmel like you had your fun with warren zvon when he was strung out on age yeah over on oliverado yeah warren zivon will be singing gay guys of london now all the mexican ladies and i saw a gay guy in the sprails pocket lot and his ass was perfect no yeah all the We've been through so many phases now, Devin, like Restrepo. It's crazy. So many phases have happened.

The fact that she's still here. It's like killers of the flower moon. It's like seeing the last Native American woman that somehow wasn't killed by the diabetes injections. Yeah. And Rachel Senate is putting dynamite under her house. She's about to blow the back of her skull cap off. She's going to killers of the flower moon. Yeah, yeah.

Sure. To the last Mexican woman who lives in Silver Lake. Who's dating Jason Isbell. Yeah. And also will be killed. Rachel sounded explaining to a 70-year-old Mexican lady about the Dunsmoor. And how you got to get the rib. And she goes, gay?

You got to get the tomahawk steak. She goes, hey. Gay? Yeah. No, it's rough. I just can't take the Uber wealthy cosplaying as the working man, the wife beaters, and the cowboy boots. It's pissing me the fuck off. What really piss me up?

I drive past the... I hate White's stink. Good to throw that. that in here into this mess. The first time we never... Fuck whites. I thought it was fuck gay people. Fuck gays and whites.

Yeah. Fuck gay whites. Now we lost everybody. Especially, yeah. You call us, you know, the Patreon went to zero dollars. What I get really pissed is I have to drive by the reservoir to get to your house and I always see people have started, the reservoir is now a performance to go on a walk there. Dude, I've noticed this.

I've noticed it. People are dressed up like the village people to walk around the reservoir and get spotted. It's a guy taking his three months. walking the vans really right yeah those are comfortable to wear yeah you're you're in your outfit you're you're trying to be fashionable put on

hoka dumb ass yeah exactly you dress like a dorky fuck AJ's before I forget we have to do an ad oh right because we're I think we're past sorry I got the milk stuck in my heart which they say is good they say calcium's good

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Warning, this product contains nicotine. nicotine is an addictive chemical. Thank you, Lucy. And now on to another thing we love independently, regardless of whether or not we get paid, Factor, everybody. Love you, Factor. We all love Factor. If you want to eat better, but you don't have the time, check out Factor.

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And then you just DoorDash over and over and over again because it takes work and you're a lazy bozo. Yeah. But I get Factor, they just bring me all the meals. I can microwave them anytime I want. It's always fresh, never frozen, no prep, and no stress. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Lemon 5-0 off and use code Lemon 5-0 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor.

Offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto-renewing subscription purpose. Thank you, Factor. Those are the only companies we like this week. Okay. Thank you to both of them. Okay, so Devin, on the Patreon, do you think we should cover that

the Grammy stuff with that artist we found? Yes. Okay. So I'm going to say that. Oh, Jay. Hold on. You went home back to San Diego last week. You wait.

With my tail between my life. Devin put in the work and we watch the Grammys. We found the most boring thing of all time. We found like a sci-op Bob Dylan. Okay. We found the worst. You found Slop Dylan.

Fake revolutionary folk artist of all time. Who's definitely being forced on. He's going to be forced on everybody. We're going to save that for the page. We're going to save it for the page. Holy shit. Patreon.com slash living party. I think I'll just put it up right when this one goes up too

so people can go right over. Yeah, why not? that we, Ben and I were in a trance. Really? Couldn't believe. We were like, we actually thought we were watching a parody. I kept thinking it was a Mr. Show sketch. I'm like, that's Bob O-O-N-Kirk, right?

It was crazy. We'll get into it on the page. Reality pranks us now. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. It's truly, we've laughed reality. We've truly lapped reality.

They'll show you a Muppet and be like, this guy is the new senator from Massachusetts. Or he's the new pop star. Yeah. It doesn't matter. I don't believe a single thing. I don't know what I'm looking at. It's to the point where I'm just giving in. And I'm like, yeah, the snow leopard needed that woman to help her babies.

And then they all got in the snow leopard drove. And they went to the hospital and they raised the babies together. I'm fully expecting to look at my phone and be like, oh, I see on Twitter, I was like, I was killed today. Okay. I was murdered. And then I look up and I'm in hell. Yeah. Sitting on a couch, look at my phone.

Which is my hell. Just look at my phone all day. Just seeing people. Seeing old women turn eight people. people into goo in a fucking 99 ranch store. Yeah, that guy, the old lady that drove through the store. And the sliding doors opened up perfectly as she drove in. Like they were like, just kill everybody.

Was that place called 99 Ranch? 99 Ranch Market. Yeah, it was like a Walmart greeters there. And it's greeting the car. It's like, welcome to the Nine Ranch. Go kill everybody. Yeah, she drove into this ranch market going like 65 miles an hour. She was 92 years old.

She had a bicyclist and then drove into the store, right? Yeah, she thought it was her age, was the name of the store. I still find this unbelievable, honestly. She killed three people in the store. Killed three people, hit seven, injured them severely. Yeah. So she's trying to turn left here. That's nuts.

How is she going that? How does her leg even have the muscles to hit the acceleration that part? Her bones should snap. That's insane. Before it hits the floor like that. She didn't even go to the hospital. I truly can't believe. I can't believe that's not an Armenian guy.

I can't believe. I believe that's old love it. Life will surprise you, Devin. That's crazy. So she killed two employees and one guy waiting in line for the bakery. He was 30, and another two employees were like 40 and 50. You could not drive into the store batter if you were a professional driver. She drove through the front doors.

Through the two front doors. She's like, well, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to come around the back. Yeah, she gets out of her car, just covered, spray painted with blood. And she's like, is this the parking? I didn't give it like every boomer. I didn't want to give up my driver's day. and so I killed 10 people. Did she die?

No, she was totally fine. I'm fucking kidding me. And she's 92. She's 92. She's walking away without a cut or a bruise. They could give her a life sentence for manslaughter. It would be one day long. It wouldn't matter.

Are they sending her to, like, prison? They should. She comes into court, like, Hannibal Lecter. They send her to, like, Folsom. They send her to Alcatraz. She gets, like, fucked up. I kind of want them to name her. They're not going to give us a name, but I need a name.

No, this behavior needs. to be shamed because the roads are full of how many times have you been driving and somebody like veers over nine lanes so you'd go and speed up ahead of them and it's a it's a skeleton driving a car and that's totally fine for some reason and you'd kill them if you fucked with them like if you were like yelling at them and if i honked at them the sound waves from the horn would explode their head what if they're not naming her because it's political what do you mean what if she's a chinese lady I didn't consider it's a Chinese. An old Chinese lady and they don't want to help out the... You know why I don't think it's a Chinese is because when Chinese people get older, their kids usually take care of them. So I've never seen a really old Chinese lady driving. They're always in the back seat and then they get out and they do the Circle C block. Where they can just roll upright.

An old Chinese Chinese lady in the bag is telling her grandson, like, drive into the store. Do it. Do it. Kill all those white people in the store. But you're right. It could be like a big lady in a rice hack getting out of the car or something. Ben's been hit. I was in accident with Ben.

He got hit by a very Chinese man. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's a good cook, own a Chinese restaurant. But he backed. It's still operational. Last I checked, the Ingle Rock. You guys still talk? I go in time to time.

He hit you. He used to give me free Chinese speak for a month. It sounds like a lovely relationship. He backed up into me and I went in every day. I gained like 40 pounds. It was great. Nice. He was trying to kill me, I think, so I dropped the lawsuit.

That's beautiful. That's like a human dodo video. Endering. This Chinese man didn't kill white guy and now they're friends. Exactly. But I remember I was in the car because he hit my passenger side door. He backed up into us going like 20 miles an hour somehow. And I kept honking because I couldn't move and I kept honking.

I was waving out of the window. My window was open. And he starts waving back. Hi! Okay, I'm going to hear you know. Okay. Here we go. And then we get my, the door's like crumpled.

And then we get out and then just. like a guy like oh like gets and you're like of course he literally did the like he got out and he was like oh yeah oh oh oh yeah all right you don't have to yeah he was like toned down the stereo down a little bit yeah we're like we know you put those big fake teeth in those aren't you go all right tone it down charlie he had the apron on and everything and we were like oh he had the apron on he was driving to go cook yeah yeah Jesus Christ I think he was driving there's like a perpetual stew in the passenger seat that he's Yeah, there was dead chickens hanging in his

Rear Window. Rooster cock burns in the trunk. Fuck. Nobody got it. He's like, oh, I don't. And he kept going. He's like, I don't have insurance. Please don't call a police on me.

He didn't, like, have papers or ID. Oh, fuck. I wonder if I saved his number as Chinese guy. Let me check my contacts. I bet I did. You save it as Chinese guy who ran me over. I don't even know how to search. I hate this bubble glass update.

I don't even know how to search it. It sucks my ass. I haven't updated my phone here. Everyone complaining, though. It's terrible. To open a new tab, you have to press like nine different buttons. Why do they do that just to be like, hey, look, it's a new phone? I think Tim Cook wakes up one day.

He's like, you know what? Fuck him. I think the important thing. Fuck them. Fuck them to hell. I think the important thing is just to keep creating problems that you then fix. Yeah. So you act like you're necessary.

Right. There's some sort of upward progress. We're working on that bug. It's like, well, there was no bug with the last software. Why did you update it? They go to put the bug in so you buy the new iPhone, which doesn't have it. It's just this is what life is until the power goes out. Just, I mean, you know, everything is remarkably like very similar to how it wasn't like 2010, really.

You know, past 16. It's called inshittification. They keep calling it. Really? Where everything has got worse. There hasn't been really any improvements in any kind of technology. The whole AI thing is all speculative. You have to work your ass off to not get screwed by corporations.

in the society. It's actually nuts. If you try to buy a new fridge, you have to Google like Best Fridge and people would be like, this is the only fridge that doesn't break after nine hours on purpose. Oh yeah, everything we keep buying keeps breaking. Phones really aren't as good as they were. TVs aren't as good.

Social media platforms aren't as good. At least music and TV is much better than it used to be. Yeah. At least all forms of entertainment are better than they used to be. Before capitalism destroyed our entire. our lives in every shape and form. Do you guys want to close up the show seeing this? What is this?

This thing's been, so this guy, he calls himself the party scientist. Ugh. You get everything getting worse. Yeah. Okay. How to ignite joy without phones, drugs, or alcohol. Okay, here we go. It's one of those adult day care things.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a Joy boot camp where people learn how to do you know. how to have fun without their phone or with alcohol. So they play a laser game where they go around and they shoot each other with fake laser gun finger points. Are you guys following? You guys not like all the funny shirts that some guys are wearing?

Look like that guys are back with hat in a Hawaiian shirt. Isn't that funny? It's very funny. Oh, it's a kimono. Yeah, this is one of those things you see and you're like, that sucks ass. and then five years later you're like, oh, that was a, that was a sex cold. Like, uh, the party scientist, uh, there's got to be something else behind that. The party scientist fucked every single wife in that group.

Anyone could, could, could really, truly enjoy that. I'm the sober rave guy. And this is how I became high on life. He's the sober rave guy. Zero social confidence. I couldn't hold a conversation and public speaking terrified me. Everything changed when I became a festival medic. This pushed me to step up, overcome my fears, and start.

leading sober parties. With nothing but my sandbox and Mike, I attracted thousands, led parties across 10 countries, and mastered the art of igniting joy in humans. Soon, conferences started calling. My speaking... You know those shirts that have like donuts on them? Yeah. Which is

donut, donut, donut. Remember that as a big or like a hoodie that just has a bunch of hamburgers on it that was really popular in 2018? Yeah. That's where this guy is. He has light up shoes. He's constantly soying. He smiles with his mouth open. Hodies, exclusively for guys with autism and people smoking meth

behind of a 7-11. Mm-hmm. That's this guy here. Devin, he's a hoot. This is the Joy Boot Camp. Took off. I traveled across the U.S. He's the party scientist. He has a big green science. He's like, this is the room where the wives have to go if they want to join

my car. He's the party scientist, and I hope he runs into a Nazi scientist. These people should be used to, they should be used like lab rats. Yeah, we should be getting injected, see if like, hey, let's try and cure cancer with the party scientist. We're going to give you cancer, then we're going to try and cure it. It probably won't work. You'll die horribly. You'll die horribly. We'll film it and we'll laugh at it later.

Just do unit 731 stuff to him. Just see how much air you can inject into him before he explodes. I also... See how much helium he can suck in. Yes. Let's test things out. Let's do some mangly shit. See if you can drop something on his head and see if his brain can come out of his ass. You're saying we want to do looney tunes to him. Yeah, just just... We want a roadrunner's ass. Because you're just going to do as many experiments as you want on him. Just hoping by sheer accident you discover a new thing. You don't. Just go, just freeform it, random.

We'll give you 10,000 bodies. Anybody that goes to the Joy Boot Camp, do whatever you want to them. We tried to cure Alzheimer's. We actually turned you into that big spider woman from Dune 2. That the Arconin's torturing the eat shit out of a big ball. That's you now. The Party Scientist. Feed them to a big mechanical shark like from James and the Giant Peach. Yeah. That you built to. We eat the party sign.

Yeah. You're like, we're trying to cure cancer. So this is our test we're running. And it's just you've tied them up to a bunch of the top of cars at a big monster truck rally. When do you like to tie this guy to like 10,000 seagulls and see where they take them? Yeah. Different directions rip them into pieces.

You're saying you want to quarter them with birds. Yeah, yeah. You go, I thought your whole thing was having a positive attitude no matter what. Now you're screaming because birds are ripping your fingers off. I mean, he sells a chorus. He's a con man. He's actually, that's the best part about him is his cunning nature. Yeah.

You don't think he's beyond broken and that's why. He's running. He starts class. People are saying he's selling classes. Yeah. It's also, he's just a business. It's the classic story. He's a cult leader.

It's a cult leader. When I was younger, I didn't have confidence and I couldn't be fun. These people exist. This is like a, he's actually great. He exists to all those people that are in line in front of you. And you're like, who the fuck of these people? He captures them and takes them to his party course. Well, this is an adult summer camp, Devin.

Sure. It's in Tel Aviv. Can you generate joy anywhere? You get to be a kid forever. Ditch drinking and scrolling and learn how. They're playing with a pillowbox. They're having a summer camp where you become a joy maker. Someone who writes up everyone they make.

This is your day at the Joy Mansion. 6 a.m., you're gently woken up. By a disco ball. A guy at a fiddle. door wakes you up with a disco ball. An army. I'd pull my cock and start mass a day. Just to freak them out.

If I found out anyone I was with had ever participated in something like this before, I would feel like I was in midsummer after the old, after they killed the old lady, and I'd start backing away, and I'd make a run for it. I would feel more comfortable if this was just Heaven's Gate. Yeah. If you told me you were in Heaven's Gate, I go, whatever, man. Just don't drink the, you know, drink the sign. That would make more sense to you than this.

Yeah, because that's like, I mean, you know, I mean, what is, what's the end result of this? It's everybody's wife and girlfriend gets fucked by the party scientists. By the party, by the party, scientists. Because, because the party God told them that to save the earth, he had to impregnate every woman. But these people are like materialists. They don't even probably believe in a heaven. Also, that's why they're doing this?

Can I say, by the way, why does it have to be sober? Why can't they be fucked off corn liquor doing all this shit? That would be fun. Corn liquor, yeah. That would be cool. Or, Jason, honestly, like, if we just got churches to come back and a. big way, these people would love, like, the youth shit at their church and, like,

meeting up and being friends and being... You know what I mean? People, like, no hate on it. No, no hate. Go play volleyball at the church gym and stuff. These people are white knuckling. They're white knuckling, subride. I've never... When I'm sober, I'm not, like, losing my mind, like, God damn it. I think the only

thing that could cure this is a pillow fight. God damn it. Fuck, I need to play tag! If there's a space where I could feel okay being silly. These people, they're getting their vitamin D. Get the serotonom. Flowing. Next, you fuel up and enter the Joy Laboratory.

Are we sure excess serotonin is even a good thing, by the way? No, it's not. I've heard it's bad. It's very damaging. Is what? You gain the habit. Excess serotonin. I don't know.

It plays a role, but. And skills to rewire your body and mind. By the way, real quick, real quick, there's going to be a lot of people attack with this one. Fuck barefoot people. If you have, if you have, I, I hate seeing people barefoot. With socks.

Fuck, fuck off. Fuck off. You fucking. Chinese wigger fucking trying to be like an Asian guy or something. That's for them. They're Eastern. They have something about it that they understand. Fuck off.

Put your fucking shoes on. Guy at Riot Aid with no shoes on. God, I hate comfortable adults. I hate when adults are all comfy and cozy wearing when your belt is a string. Put a fucking belt on faggot. You know what? We should start a rival thing called the hate scientist

and we just invite people into just... We're walking around going, fag it, fag it? We go, all right, for day two, we're all hotboxing for 24. Doing like fire and brimstone speeches. Smoking cigarettes indoors, make ourselves cough. A little hate camp. Look at this. Exactly.

Every skill through neuroscience-based games, like improv, nerve battles, contact, and serious discussions. These can't be real huge. Yeah. These can't be real people. You think they're real? Well, not to us, but yeah. I don't know.

This is starting a horror film. They're out there? This is a horror film. Yeah, this is terrible. This is the beginning of a really shitty 824 horror film. Yeah, that woman's head is going to be in that SpongeBob later. Just this decapitated. I'll tell you, this takes a dark and sick turn.

That's a very millennial thing. By the way, remember when the horse head meme was a big thing? At a sporting event, someone would be having, they'd have a... the big horse head. It was a mean. These are people who still referenced vines they saw from 2014. These are people with Bojack Horseman tattoos. They go, do you remember the vine with the spoons?

And you're like, I do, but it sucks that you said that to me. It's worse than a Rick and Morty tattoo. Yeah, truly. Truly worse. It's going BoJack on it. Bojack horsemen, and I watched it and liked it at the time, it sucks ass and fuck you. If you like it. Enough.

And this is coming for me. I love Paul of Tompkins. I love Paul of Tompkins. I love Will Arnette. I thought he was funny until 2012. I really did. But you can't take that away from him. He was funny up until then.

Well, Arnett, I still like very talented guy. I heard the show was great. It's a great show, but enough of the weepy fag bullshit. And this is coming from me. You got to knock it off at a certain point. Just grow up. I agree. Grow up.

Push your feelings down a little bit. Enough talking about it. Yeah. Nobody cares. You don't even care. Your identity is feeling these things. And you would feel uncomfortable not being that person. over and over again.

Yeah. I, this is uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. Ben, it's time to dissolve your perfectionism and fear of public speaking with joy talks. We know about 45, um,

we know a bunch of 45 year old open micers would love the joy camp. I'm thinking of a couple guys specifically. That would love the joy camp. These people are a threat to society because, because it makes you want fascism. Like, they should be put in camp.

Like, you know what I mean? You want barbed wire. You're actually, yeah, yeah. It's almost like how Israel was like anti-Semitic. Like there's Jews. Like, hey, stop, you're making, you're making me hate Jews. You're making people hate Jews. By the time.

But, yeah, you are, they're pro-fascists. I would only want to see Israel. Yeah, the party, the party scientist is a fascist because he makes me want to start camps. He might, he might come from the same factory where Charlie Kirk did. Who knows? Kind of looks like him. I want to see these people. The only time I want to see these people is,

from the view of a watchtower. Yep. I want to be looking down with binoculars and a rifle that's fully loaded. I want to wake up in the morning and make my coffee like Ray Fienes and Shindler's list

and just take a couple pot shots down at the yard. As a naked woman lies in my bed, she just watches me gleefully. She doesn't, we, none of us care. It's like we might as well be shooting birds. She goes, Devon, Daven, come back to bed.

And you go, just a second. Hold on. Hold on. There's a SpongeBob hat guy. That would rot. There's a guy with a big bowtie. You'd shoot him like hands on a fence. Yeah.

I go, hold on. There's a guy doing a, he's just right behind me, isn't he? He keeps saying that out loud. I'm going to shoot him right in the face. Yeah. You walking around and really fucking with him too, where you go, play zip, zabsab, Zop real quick. Whoever fucks up zip, zaps up first dies. I wonder, the groundlings and all that stuff seems to be a dead end now.

Yeah. I wonder that's. This is where these people are going. I think so. Because this is very improv troopy. They are. They are. We've been at parties where there's improv troops there.

UCB opened up. Ruining the whole vibe. UCB opened up around my, my fall place. Really? There's a new UCB. There's a new UCB. Inform the people where UCB is. It's people that think it's like funny to pull out like a tissue from their pocket and go, what?

And then a bunch of empty fags like laugh and they all think they're like a part of something. I don't know. It's people that think, like, they have object permanence. Like, if they put their hands over their face and then they go, and then they open it and show their face, people laugh. People like Peekaboo. Yeah, it's a macaroni necklace comedy. It's jiggling keys.

It's for UCB exists for the least funny person in your office to spend $400 to go to. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. Their name Veronica. Yeah. They're all named Veronica. Everyone's doing durable face. Every guy is, I swear to God, walking to a.

bar and ordering in a British accent. Going, good days! Yes. They love doing that shit. That type of shit. I don't even really know. I wasn't even, I didn't even spend enough time around the improv shit to, like, hate it as much as it was always, like, kind of a hack joke in comedy. Like, everyone had to shit on improv.

But, like, I grew up thinking improv was good, because a lot of the most talented people were in it, and then, you know, went on to, like, S&L and shit back in the day. But then it just became, like, a pyramid scheme or something. Yes, it did. For empty NPCs. Podcast started, and people figured out about UCB. Yeah. And then people who sucked ass kept going.

Yeah. So this is, but yeah, there's a UCB near my favorite fup play. So I like, when I'm like on a, you know, having a weird day and I'm just, I just want to walk in there and like listen to we might be drunk like Travis Bickle and eat my fucking fah. I have to walk by these people that are like playing like hack-and-sackie-sack with like an imaginary ball. And, yeah, you just look at them and they are. It's just so tragic. There's so many people out there where I wish I could find it in my heart to see them as humans. but I don't.

It's tough. Because there are people who... It's tough. They're adults who wish Peter Pan was real. And I'm fully sober right now, and I actually believe that. They're bugs. You're a bug. You're a bug.

And by the way... By the way, by the way, I'm also a bug, but I have the decency to not be a bug putting a top hat on, pretending I'm not a bug. Embrace that you're a shitty fucking bug. Enough. Enough of this. Bug life. Bug life.

Exactly. I just want to see people fucking really go for it, you know. Devin really thinks he's better than everybody. Unbelievable. Devin thinks he's better than an asshole in a Hawaiian shirt and a top hat saying, my lady outside an improv thing. You really look down on everybody who, and you know what? You might learn something from that guy.

I do. I look down on most. You might learn something from the party scientist. The party scientist could teach me a thing or two. You're just a close to elitist of him. You sit here in your ivory tower and you make fun of people like Forgi Auto Blow and you go look at this guy. What have you ever created? You're triggered by the people that were, there were people defending Forgi Auto Blow on the last app, weren't there? There were.

There's like a small contention of a contrarians where we'll just. Yeah. Because they look in the mirror and they see Forge Auto Blow. They're like, you really think you're better than everybody, huh? It's like, well, we are than these people. And if you don't think you're better than them, you have a problem, bud. We'll play videos of people bombing for turds in the total. And we'll make fun of them and feel like, wow.

They really look down on everybody. My whole family eats turds out of the toilet. So I guess I'm a piece of shit. I guess I should, like, kill myself? Yes. I bob for shit out of the toilet. Yes, you should. That's what we're saying.

Strive. Strive to be better. You know, guys, I normally like you, but this hit a little too close to home. You made fun of the people bobbing for turds. No, listen, our attitude comes from, we love. look up to people. Mm-hmm. We expect more of them.

Yes. Yes. You can flip it. That's really where it's coming from. I have too much reverence for greatness. Mm-hmm. We imagine... We imagine an Ayn Rand like Uber Minch that humanity should strive for.

Yeah. And when we see people purposely going the opposite direction from that, we get furious. Yeah, it's like the Bill Hicks joke. Like, I want like my rock stars to like blow their heads off and be like, Hope you enjoyed the show. You know? What's this UCB? Is this real?

I think it is. I think, all right, or there's just... Do the talented people come by, like Sean Clement and John Gagris and those guys? I don't walk inside. Some of those shows are unbelievable. I've never been inside. I haven't applied for my gun yet. But, like, I walk by it and I just sense...

Hackery. Hackery afoot. Yeah. Very few people know. This is where Donald Glover got to start before he started. before he started rapping about rug rap. Yeah, before he became black in 2015. Yep.

He went to How to Be Black School because he said the N-word with the hard R and his rap songs. I remember liking this one song in high school that people played. Bonfire. Yes, that was it. Yeah.

It was like basically... I say something with the hard ar. It was like Rick and Morty rap. Yeah, it was ironic rap that he had to then pretend was like real. And people couldn't believe believe all of his punchlines because he was just like I'm smart enough

to write like just like rap punch lines because I write on like 50 shows on TV. Yeah that was his career was like can you believe this black guy made a joke about the NASDAQ? So can I say something without starting a culture war thing? Sure. But sometimes the music video for This Is America goes viral of him

blowing that guy's head off at the beginning and there's a lot of you know racist rhetoric around it. But that song sucks fucking ass. Yeah, the song sucks ass. It's horrific and he sucks, right? Am I wrong? I like Donald Glover.

I'm talking about him, Childish Gambino. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Childish Gambino. It's all like... Am I wrong? Am I missing the market? He's the equivalent of like a movie that's like Oscar bait. He's kind of like...

He's cultured bait. 12 years a rapper. Like, he kind of knows what he's doing, you know, in a way that's a little too on the nose. Did he walk it back where he cringes about his music now? I don't think he did, no. It sucks shit. I'll admit, I got caught up. I didn't really care, but I remember.

remember defending that this is America video I thought it was an interesting I thought it was like maybe I was just bored as hell when it came out I remember thinking it was kind of interesting I didn't I didn't mind to be honest with you not that I did I did it didn't mark me one way or the other yeah I don't know past the time I viewed it as a cloud passing me by but yeah it does it sucks ass but it really but it's and I feel like redbone's probably stolen well he didn't write redbone it's that uh fucking Swedish guy who did the Oppenheimer score he wrote all of redbone oh yeah I just I do get a little bit of a thrill of people shitting on the Edward Sharp and the magnetic zeros. Me too.

And then like, then this, people are kind of going back through the trash bins of history and being like, what is this? Hobo Johnson goes viral all the time. Hobo Johnson goes viral all the time on his MP, his tiny desks. Hobo Johnson, that was the one. Everybody will tweet about millennials and sometimes I'll get a little defensive. And then somebody tweet about Hobo Johnson. I go, no. No. Top to bottom, millennial sucked ass. Yeah, for sure. Hobo Johnson was a thing and had a career. You listened to Hobo Johnson back of the day I did

I listened to Hobo Johnson That's how I found out That ironically For like two weeks I was like this is kind of good You were like this is hip hop I kind of liked a few of the songs And then after like three weeks

I was like what was I thinking? It was like this weird trance of Obviously most of the songs were gay I liked like two or three of them Yeah And our friend David Dorwood was in the music video The famous one David Dorwood's in it Oh really?

The comic The one in the backyard Yeah Yeah, in the backyard with the house party. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, that clip of him on the tiny desk is, it is like a moment in time, like time stops. I wasn't, by the way, I wasn't a fan of him.

I liked a few songs. You were caught up. And that was the, yeah. I got a little caught up in it. I'm not afraid. I wasn't a fan, okay. I was a big Mac to Marco, Efsler. Sure.

I was a big Mac to Markle. Listen, Girls was on HBO. The band Fun was viral on the radio. It was just a different time. We were different people. Yeah. People were saying. get carried away.

Devon used to like Kendrick Lamar. I used to, and then I found out he was black. You thought it was Ken Rick Lamar. I thought it was the whitest guy alive. Kendrick Duckworth Lamar. I got to say, like, nude Dochey stuff is cringe to me. The anxiety song sucks my ass, and she needs to shut the fuck. She's also, like, Grammy's bait.

And her album was great. I thought it was great. And then she put out that anxiety song, and then she started doing, like, a bunch of hot ones where she's like straight men are the word. I'm like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. We're past this shit. Jesus fucking Christ.

Do better rap songs that aren't anxiety. Shut up. Will you give any point of contention to the people who say Kendrick is cringe? No. Like the new stuff isn't cringe? No, what new stuff? The new stuff? Didn't he put out a new album?

Yeah, that was great. It was great. They just hate it because it's so good. You're everywhere now. And then he destroyed their favorite, like, grocery store cake musician. I bet Devin loves a Pablo Bunny. Bad Bunny? A bad bunny.

A bad Devin loves the bad. You called him Pablo Bunny. What's his name? Bad Bunny. What if I go? I love that being her. He's A-O-K. He's a-okay with me.

I will. Fuck MAGA. People are saying a bad bunny is going to be at the Super Bowl and it's going to be woke. And people are not happy about that. Because Spanish is woke. Yeah. Well, Maga's doing their own halftime show during the Super Bowl, too. I don't really get why that's such a big problem.

Hasn't there been like, That, like, has a U-2 performed at a Super Bowl? They're immigrant. They're ira. It all sucks. It's all retarded. Who cares? It all sucks.

Rihanna did it three years ago. Rihanna's the immigrants. She's from some weird island with coconuts. I don't know what one. It's ridiculous. Let bad money live. And I think I would like bad money. Yeah.

If his songs weren't in Spanish, I don't care for that. I don't like when songs aren't in my language. Yeah. And I can't understand that. I love Bad Bunny. I hope Marcella Hernandez comes out dressed as a banana on state, or a plantain or then wiggles around A nut of some kind

A four nut This is like best friend I think I hope Bad Bunny and Pedro Pascal Come out dress as old Grandmas Yeah And that's the entire half time show But what were you trying to say

About Bad Bunny? Oh I don't know You were fucking doing something I'm just saying a lot of this stuff is crazy You like stuff And then you look back You guys Oh that's 100% true

Yeah But then you look back And some stuff kicked ass Yeah It's a part of being a human I gotta say I get like a weird it's like it sucks ass

but I can't stop watching the Hobo Johnson clips anytime they come up where he's like his song where he's you know I know and I slip the pill in her drink and she just doesn't fall asleep and everyone's like doing like banging on trash cans

it's the chant it was like chant rap like chant folk music and I was too weak and she fought me off and I was too weak and I left with a scratch on my face it's like spoken word stomp-class but it felt like it was on my heart because I couldn't

rape that bitch. Can you imagine Hobo Johnson's spitting game at you at a bar in Bushwick in 2014? Did he get me too? I think he got me too. Was Hobo Johnson raping? I think he did something. No, he got me too big time. He was telling girls he didn't have STDs and giving them to him.

Well, that's, I mean, if you're fucking Hobo Johnson, that's your fault for trusting him. So they all got in a big group text. They're like, hey, did you fuck Hobo Johnson? Yeah. There was a group text of women in Bushwick saying, did you get gonorrhea from Hobo Johnson, which should have been a letter from the 1940s. Is it ever egg on their face? But you fucked Hobo Johnson.

He fucked a dirty shoe. And you got an infestation. Come on. Come on. You picked up a couch from the sidewalk. You're mad about the lice you got. That's your fault. You fucked the guy with, like, taco zone diarrhea.

Anyway. You're mad about a little shit in your bed. Mm-hmm. I was trying to find a link. There's a guy who made a hobo Johnson. Oh, I found it actually, I think. A Hobo Johnson parody video? Fuck, it was so funny.

Let me see if I can find it. it. It was so good. Where someone did a parody of him. The Peach scone thing pisses me off. Do you know the beach cone? It's the one where he's like, you know, isn't the one where he's like, and Mario,

he gets the girl at the end of the video game. Oh my God. Why don't I have to be so fucking alone? Is that Hobo Johnson song? Yeah, where he'll scream about how he's really horny. About how he doesn't get pussy. I bet part of Hobo's game is if a woman says no to him getting late, starts crying until she fucks him.

He seems like one of those type of guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, nobody wants to fuck me. She's like, okay, all right. Yeah. I'll fucking suck your weird little hobo dick. Fine. Oh, the goat, Brendan Walsh followed me, by the way.

Oh, nice. One of the greatest podcasters of all time. Oh, yeah. Shout out Randy Likki. Shout out Brendan Walsh. Shout out the Bone Zone RIP, rest of power. I really hope I can find this before we in the episode. because it's, I've listened to it a lot.

I think here. You listen to do the craziest stuff. What else is really cringy that was big in like, you know, 2014? I don't know, man. There's just, like, that was the time of, like, Michael Sarah kicked ass and people of Scott Pogrom. I never really liked that shit. I never really liked him. Like 2010, 2011, 2012.

To me, the thing is fun. I didn't like Juno. I didn't like that shit. I hated Juno. Hamburger phone. I hate its soul pancake, Rain Wilson. Like, spiritual will. Oh, real quick,

before we and fuck, Rain Wilson. What did he do? I don't know. I just don't like him. It just don't like his general vibe. And he sucks ass on podcasts. He's kind of, oh, you're not funny at all.

He's kind of mad about being Dwight. Like, he thinks he should have been big. He thinks he was bigger than Dwight. Yeah. And that really pisses me off. You ain't bigger than Dwight. And word. You ain't,

you ain't ever going to be bigger than Dwight. Hobo Johnson parody. I really, because I texted it to my friend has been killing me. Oh, yeah. I think this is. I think this is it. I think this is it. I'm already laughing all that.

There we go. The animation's pretty good. Oh, no! It's great to be here at your boyfriend's piano. My love for you is so hidden that you think I'm not here to have sex with you. But my love makes me pine for having sex with you silently. My past regression inspires me. You walk the door and you say, have a boyfriend.

And I smile. And I cry. And I cry. And I smile. And I say, it's fine. I'm having sex with you. I can't stop swirling and being fake as fuck. Man, I love drinking it to you deep hop.

I castrated myself to enter the DIY scene. What's up? How are you? Who's your boyfriend? What are you at? Which are you a house at? Are you a love of you? That was great.

Oh, no. It's so crazy to suck so much as that people are like making, like, art about you, like, 15 years later. Brendan Schott doesn't even get that. Oh, that was old. Okay. Yeah. That rules. Is he still touring Hobo Johnson?

Are people going to Hobo Johnson shows now? Wait, is that really? Was that actually him or is that a parody? I'm fucking retarded. No, that's a parody. That wasn't, that wasn't him. But it's not to say. No, what I'm saying is he's still touring at all?

Like, can you go to a show? I don't know. Oh, him up, Ben. Let's see what Elbo Johnson's Instagram. It's just him working at Chick-fil-A. Shows. He has like a link tree. Yeah. No, no upcoming shows.

No upcoming shows. Oh, damn it. Fuck. Go to his music. Go to, what is he up to lately? Past shows. Oh. Oh, he just did see him.

He just did it. God damn it. Fuck. He did the Roxy. So he's big enough to keep. Okay. So he's actually still big, kind of? These might be venues he's playing outside of without permission.

He's like, Panhandling at the strummers in Fresno, at the Roxy. I'm at the chaplain in San Francisco. It's an actual chapel. I'm getting a bath. He's playing at a literal crocodile in Seattle, Washington. Could you look him up on YouTube? Has he made any new music?

Has he, like, changed the sound? Is he evolving as an artist? Yeah, what if he's a rapper now? I guess, well, what if he's, like, common? We're getting into the, we're getting into the Patreon now and we were going to be in Devin and our going to show it. Oh, God. This thing is unbelievable.

Really? It'll blow my mind. Dude, it's amazing. I've actually withheld looking at more stuff because it just felt like a dream. I had to save it. I had to pay real quick. We're going right into the Patreon right now. We're going right into the Patreon right now. Okay.

Patreon. Go ahead. Patreon.com. Patreon.com. I got it. You go. Devin, you go worry about you. We'll hold it down right here. Lemonparty.com. For what?

Just it's the website. You can go look at it. Merch is still out. Do we sell merch? We do sell merch. We do sell merch. We do sell merch, yeah. we get money from it occasionally every once in a while

so you go get some merch But yeah Patreon.com slash line my party We're going into that right now Yeah I'm gonna watch a little hobo Johnson first Do you want to? Yeah We can't My chine

Don't you like my chine mine Yon Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chite mine And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci-Cooch My chine Don't you like my chine mine

Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci I came to the club Just to fuck my chain line Catch another George and I'm going to the chain gang Oh I think I'm iced

Sold a hundred dollars In baloney sex and white cream Don't you see how bright it is City girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is These girls they be choosing Diamies be so sparkly They think my chain was moving My chain is out the chain

Stack the miss of mind And bunching off and ball the chain Check the way my chain hang Gucha I don't gang bang All I do is chains Swamp Don't you like my chine mine Young Gucci mine

And I'm popping off the chain And my check a bit so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chain My chain Don't you like my chain mine Y'all Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain

And my Jacob is so fine No you call me Gucci Gucci Gucci you be shy Man Don't turn me on home Tell me who you're diamond My girlfriend acting different Just because I got this chain

Yellowstones hollered etching To my shoe's scrank Like my watching wine I'm stupid Don't you like my chain mine Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain My Jacob is so fruited

Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci Gucci My chine, my chine, don't you like my chine mine Y'all goochie mine and I'm popping off the chine mine And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci Gucci My first chain I had to rob for it Jesus peace yellow diamond sitting all in it I'm on some slick brick shit

2006 Mr T diamond so bright Ain't a way you can't see the cheat Look, I don't dance, I just lean with it. My piece is sick, Gary Robert trying to leave with it. I got that New York fitted on. Full suit, Dickie on. Gucci link chain, blue stones in a nigga charm. Now watch me do it.

Do it with no hands. Traps when he cran on that bezel and that band. Because I'm the man. I'm the man. Got no wife, but my chain got my girlfriend. My chain, my chain. My chain. Don't you like my chine, mine.

Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain My Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci My chain Don't you like my chine My chine mine

Young Gucci mine And I'm popping off the chain And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci Me neither call me Gucci Gucci