lemonparty - 179: Ultragoybeam

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

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Everybody has insane stuff with their parents. It's kind of like the old trope of you look at, you see an old person eating alone at a, or not even old person. You see like a middle-aged person eating alone at a diner or something. But they're, you feel sad for them. You make up a whole story. You make up a whole backstory for them. You're like, oh, he proposed to his wife here and she died of getting hit by a truck or something. Yeah.

And he's eating a Sunday, and you're like, they must have shared something with Sundays. Like, I bet the Sunday's very, like, meaningful. But you're an asshole because in his head he's like, I love Sunday, yum, yum. Yes, exactly. In his mind, he's like, I love my life. I got jacked off by a hooker an hour ago. I'm glad my wife's dead. And you go, and you're looking at him, you go, the tyranny of time.

He must miss Marjorie. We're all in a big sandum, hourglass. And in his mind, he's just. Just like Marjorie's dead, I'm so happy. I'm gonna fuck black women until the day I die. I'm getting sugar so I can fuck more whores. Yum, yum, yum.

Visiting her grave to mock her. Yes. I'm still alive. He's putting... He smell that dick. He's putting... Smell that black pussy on their dick, Marjorie. He's putting pairs of Jordans over her grave.

Like when they throw them over a telephone wire. For each new black hunger that he fucked. He's like, you see how wet that is? Look at it. You never got it that wet. He's tea bagging his wife's gray with his nuts at. Put his nuts on the gravestone. He's like, you can't say you got a headache now, whore.

Fuck you. He's just at the diner eating and Sunday. He goes, there's some idealistic young fags looking at me thinking I'm sad. I'm not homos. I'm enjoying the fuck out of my life. That's the problem. We're in the booth and we go, ah, dust. We're all dust.

And we're just like, God, look at them. It's so sad. He goes, I'm the happiest A person's ever been effort. Yes. Getting sucked up under the table. He's on the phone. He's making reservations at like a spearment rhino.

Yeah. You, like, one day you finally work up the courage to walk up to him and be like, hey, would you want to eat, do you want to eat dinner with us today? And he's like, fuck off. He goes, get out of here, hummus. He says, I'm kidding it. My life kicks ass. I'm going to be.

go smoke cigarettes for four hours. Fuck you. I'm taking a hooker on a date tonight, Camuso and Frank, spaggot. He's obsessed with hookers. I spent $400 on a hooker at dinner, and I love it.

She loved it. I think she's into me. I gave her $1,000, and then I paid for $500 with a food and drink. I sold my house. It's worth $19 million. Fuck-o. Those guys always collect Social Security somehow through their dead wife. They still keep getting checks. Is that a thing? You can keep

Sometimes it just keeps happening or some people pretend their wife didn't die and they sit them down in the basement. No one cares. Yeah, their wife dies and they just push them off a bridge and then one day that person dies and they're like, oh, their wife is 140 years old. And then somebody at the government just has to shut off the, they're like, that person doesn't exist at all. Right. And they just have to shut it off one day. That I still get like, occasionally I'll still get like letters in the middle for my grandfather. He's been dead for, you know, 25 years.

Yeah, there's probably a Mexican guy stealing his social social. security checks right now. Yeah. What happens to your social security number? I don't know. My mom, when she was here in town last week, she kept demanding that I go to some website to check and see if an Indian guy was using my social security number. It was so tough to get her. And I kept on my social security. And I kept saying, I'm not going to do that. You kept. And it's part of the reason I admire you because I would just go, okay, I'll do that to make it stop. And you said, I'm not going to do that. And then it lasted four hours. I was standing in front of Jace. It took five minutes of like, I'm not going to do that. That's the beauty of Ben. It's like watching

Captain Ahab fight the whale. I'm like, just turn the boat around. It's like, no, no. I stand on this lot. I live and die on this day. And there is a deep beauty to that. I forget the name

of the website. She said you can check if it's being used. It's also probably a scam website where she entered her social in and then it got stolen. But she thinks it's like shutting down, you know, scams or checking in on them or something. Sometimes I go on Facebook marketplace to look at like a Brad Nailer or like a chop saw

or something. I just want to see like the saws in my area. So you could check the citizen app. Who's chopping people in half in my neighborhood? Let me get on Citizen. Black whore left in pieces on Oak Street. Do we black dolly as shit?

You go, where's a woman been turned into a puzzle near me or me? It looks like a silent movie actress was Chopped in two down the block. Bag of thumbs. Maybe I'll check in. Bag of thumbs left in a kindergarten. Sounds good to me.

Sometimes I'll see like a post at the top. It usually's like from dad. It'll be like, if you share this, Facebook won't allow you to have ads on your page. Please share this and like this. And Facebook will know not to have ads. Yeah. So they're sharing stuff like that.

So mom might have thought it was a website like that where you go and you type in your information and then they steal it. I know. Sometimes I see those posts and I react like it's the video from the ring just popped up on my TV I just I just throw my I just throw my computer out the window and I go I do love seeing sometimes I'll get on there and we'll see something from like one of our cousins that lives in the Panhandle or something yeah yeah and I went to see wicked our cousin was pretty good it was pretty good too many fags but other than that that's our cousin hamburger

Avery. They named him hamburger. And there's just a big stuff to hear over his head. And you see the bottom of his chin and the lazy boy sitting in. If you don't know,

wickets, based on the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Well, apparently, I don't know if we told this, but I used to have old Santa bit that our granddaddy near the end of his life,

he started sharing porn on his Facebook. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah, because he had heard. I jacked off to it. He jacked off to it so much. He found the best shit. The best shit.

It was like when Kanye went crazy and started posting links to really get porn. Yeah. And you're like, how did you even find this? You're like, I love porn. I don't know about this shit. But he had heard that if you post pornography,

that if Muslim people will see your post and they have to blow their brains out immediately. I remember that. That a Muslim person will be surfing Facebook and they'll be like, oh, fuck, oh. But everybody thought he was getting like hacked. That's right. That's right. Apparently, a guy in Islam, if they see a naked woman, they're supposed to kill themselves.

Yeah. Which I don't know if that is a thing or not, really. No, they don't do that. It's not a thing whatsoever. Yeah. No. They have boy harems over there. They don't care.

They don't give a shit. They literally have like 14 boys that they have a harem up. It's a real thing. Look it up. Granddaddy goes to jail. He's sharing like CP stuff on his face. He's like, he's like, he's to get the Muslims to kill himself. He goes, I have to share this because I don't know.

I'm doing D-Day right now. CP day. That's what I do. Like dark weblings? Red rooms. Yeah. Isis. Shit from urban legends.

He's like what they did. It was a woman. They let a monkey in the room and they ripped her the bits. They're crazy. Something like truckers by, like bug chasers and stuff. Yeah. It's like two homeless people. They threw a hammer in front of them.

Locked in a room. If someone in Islam, she's a video of a woman. drowning in a batheb of piss They have to kill themselves Meanwhile Isis just thinks He's like a legend There's this legendary figure

He's like banksy to them The best pointography of all time Yeah But he's in a double wide like If I can just get the Ayatola To watch this pain olympics video America will rain for a thousand years His page turns into like X videos or something

Yeah, yeah He accidentally started EFucked He was running He was running in Eom's world He does porn bloopers He's like Watch this chick freak out during her first porno She goes catatonic, it's sick

Look at this shit on his dick After he did anal Isis is losing their minds laughing their asses off. They're all checking up. Bro, bring the boy at him in. Bro. This is fucking sick man.

That's so good. But it's, yeah, I don't, I don't, it's just like, you know, he was born inside of, like, a cotton gen, you know, like, they shouldn't have, they shouldn't have been given that stuff. No, no, no, I don't, I don't blame any older person for not knowing how to handle what's going on with technology and everything. Because one day there will be an 85 year, when I'm 85, there'll be a robot that for Israel and fucks me.

And I'll be like, I'll give it all my money. Not even just technology. Like, I used to, like, laugh thinking about, like, my grandfather who fought in World War II. I used to laugh about him just even, like, seeing Trump. Yeah. Like, just watching Trump win and the things that he says. I used to envision that and just be like, my grandpa would, like, he'd, like, kill, I think

he'd blow his head off. He'd explode. In front of me. He'd combust. I think he would just combust. He would have no clue to comprehend what's going on. that this reality TV show star Would you like Randy Rainbow?

He couldn't Like if you were gay You had to be like You had to be You had to be You know revolutionary gay guy Like you had to be somebody that was You know like a Harvey Milk type

Like yeah it had to You had to really have a fight You had to be in the streets Holding signs For a while Your personality couldn't be just getting fucked He like literally You should probably be like carpet bombed

If you were like drinking piss or either changing your identity or, yeah. Randy Rambo put out a new song. Oh, he did. He's, because, by the way, I know a lot of people are relying on Jesse Wells to stop the war. Oh, I thought Randy Rainbow was that other fucking creep, fucking homo. Which one? Who was that other, who was that creepy kid we watched like four weeks ago, five weeks ago?

Oh, the kid with the big eyes? Yeah, the country kid. That was like from a year ago or something. Big-headed, weird, like, gay guy. Who would log in with a phone from 2009 somehow and he'd be like, hey, what's up guys just got fucked in the ass? No, no, no, no. He's like, or yeah, that, that kid, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What else would he do? I have no idea what you guys are talking about. We did a whole episode on him. He had like a big, yeah, coob-shaped head, and he would just post a, he would. Oh, you dress up in the outfits and stuff. Oh, that guy. You played him.

That little psychos. The guy who dressed like SpongeBob. Yeah. The gay guy. The gay, the gay. Oh, that little, the little twits. The gay sociopath. We pretend to be the Lego Man.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Burn in hell, homo. No, Randy Rainbow does parody songs. Right, okay, Randy Rainbow is a parody guy. And by the way, Devin, I know you're relying on Jesse Wells to stop this war. To stop the global conflict right now. Well, they just put boots on the ground.

Ain't that? Doesn't that make your friend? Israel. Israel. Isn't real. Isn't real. Boots on the ground Makes me frown

Jesse Wells has done nothing To stop this conflict And to talk sense into these leaders But Randy Rambo's act This fucking guy I think is better than Jesse Weld He's much better Okay let's see

Can I say the caption of the new Randy Rambo It's a video on Twitter and it says Hakuna Spray Tana And this is the song I have not listened to this yet Okay I have not listened to this.

And it's like, you know, you gotta wait five months sometimes for him to cook up a new song. What if you play it? And it's like one of the new Kanye songs from Boy. It's like, I can't change. It's in my heart alone. This is an ultra-goy beam. This is a gore beam. This is a gore beam.

This is everything. This is a gore slap. We don't want no Gentiles in the house. We want Traeger grills. But guys. That shit. Get the new PS5 because you're a guy. This is my land.

Nobody else speak. Very good. Very good. Very good. It's going to be a Lion King that's autocratic. Who still likes this, though? Even for this era, I feel like he's over. Is it like Potsave America guys?

Don't they like this shit? Like John Favro and those fucking guys? I think even John Favro is like radicalized. I think those guys are like... Those guys are becoming like punk rockers from like 2019. Yeah, they're like G.G. Allen. Yeah, they're like, they're like, kill every pig. I mean, there's got to be like old fashioned like gay libs that love Randy, right?

I think he sells out theaters and stuff. Doing this shit. Who goes to a Randy Raybo concert? Besides people in like wearing diapers and stuff. When it's like an ABDL group. I just, I can't imagine anyone going to his show that, like, has control of their bowels. Wait, from being old or from getting fucked so much. Yeah, both.

Or just like, just like wanting to do it. Right. Just because they freaks. Yeah, they just freaky. And they just like, they love to do it when it's not allowed. It's like a reverse Gallagher show. He has to put a rain suit on because there's so much shit getting smushed when they sit down. Yes, exactly.

Yes. I feel like this is the third. time he's done a lying he did the liar sleeps tonight like that type of thing right he did he does a lot of lion love you know what I bet he's the secret furry I bet he makes

18 year olds dress as lines and fucks you're telling me this man yeah that guy whose eyes are turning into assholes he's like turning gay guys get so much plastic surgery they start turning into the god emperor of Dune they start turning into a giant

sandworm that lives for 3,000 years. Yeah. He looks crazy. He looks, well, you know what? He looks like he's in Paris, Texas, too. He's got the Paris Texas outfit on. Yeah.

Yeah. Paris Texas. Well, it does, actually, yeah. It's the, it's the end of Paris. Stanton. Yeah. It's the end of Paris, Texas, but he watches his husband dancing. He just starts jacking off.

Through the glass. Through the glass. Yeah. Yeah. It's his husband puts his face against the glass. and then use your reflection of his asshole on the other side instead of the face superimposed over the top. It's going to be a lion king, this autocratic turd.

His second term is just the start. He's thinking about a third. He's sitting down all screwed to knee. The fourth estate is done. He's acting extra put to me. I'm calling 911. What's your emergency? Democracy is tangling.

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Sure, sure. Hold on. This isn't even, like, really funny. It's just kind of annoying to me. These, these guy, this guy, like, got his start, like, around the 2016 Trump era, I imagine, right? Yes, yeah. Right. When Trump essentially did nothing but just be, like, an inflammatory piece of shit online, right? Just be a little stinker. Actually, had it done much, really didn't get much happening as far as I am aware of.

This Trump term is, like, end of the world like holy shit like I'm I'm I have I feel like I have like TDS now yeah I'm angry you're like a lot you've turned into Jeff Tudor I want him impeached I want them out of I can't believe what's happening you sent us text and I respond that I've won the devons woke oh yeah jace one I can't I can't believe what he's what's go what every day is but you're but he's not really that effect like he doesn't seem to like realize that this is much different. He has no idea.

There's no time for this. He thinks he's attacking Trump from 10 years ago? Yes. This is delayed. This is, this is outdated. This is outdated. This is outdated. This video should be him not, there's no song. He's going stop! What the fuck? Your old son!

Killed with a pommulgrantic gun! For the level of God! In 2016 was a different time! I think you're right if he cared about the proletariat, he'd be thinking about grocery prices, gas prices, affordability. Remember when we were fucking like, oh, buy it in gas? I was that. I did that.

I was like, it sucks. Fucking homo. Fucking old piece of shit asshole with your fucking black, fucking retarded, fucking VP. This is retarded. You guys, suck ass. I hate you. And all they did was like support another guy doing a war. Or defending themselves in a war.

But I was, oh, but they're, but they're, They're like, no, it's like, whatever. Mm-hmm. This is insane. We're, like, we're doing it. We're like Russia. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Anyway. And now, no, so you don't get to dress up like Christina Hendricks and madmen, dip shit. It's not cute. I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm not happy. I'm scared. White people are scared.

I, I, I, now actually, now it's actually serious and you're not taking it seriously. Well, that's the problem with Centress Libs is they literally can't, it's impossible to focus on the right thing all. Yes. They literally be like, by the way, it's racist to bomb Iran. It's like that's, well, beside the point. Yes. Wrestling defeat from the jaws of victory. Exactly. Exactly. Having a man dead pinned on the mat in wrestling and lifting him up and having him pin you because you just love losing so much. Like it's racist to bomb Iran. It's like, no, it's going to start World War III and that's why everybody's very, very scared all the time. Since he is a comedian, is he, is this by omission that drag is a funny thing to him? if he dresses up like a woman? Or would he still have respect for somebody that does that? Gay guys hate women, so they go dressing up like them as like, what's the funniest thing to

dress up like, a retarded person? A woman. It's actually women... The thing is, women don't realize that drag is gay men dominating them intellectually. Interesting. Women, like, hang out with gay guys, and they're like, I'm a faggagg, and I'm like,

he would... He would watch you die. He'd kill you with a big rock. He'd care less about your life. He'd crush your head. You're literally a nothing human being to him. You're just another pair of tits in the crowd. You're talking to a Ted Bundy, but he's just a gay twin. He would take a big rock and slit your throat with him.

A sharp-shaped rock in the desert. He'd kill you like the judge in Blood Meridian. He thinks nothing of you. Okay, well, let's see if this gets any better here. Okay. Democracy is right, because he just can't. To be a golden age of America It sucks.

Like why are they not talking about him being a pedophile or something? Why is he not making a joke? Because he's a pedophile. Yes. That's the one thing they like about him. Yes, that's true. Also, so this is a play on him doing the, like, posting Barack and Michelle as like monkeys. Oh, very good.

That's an interesting thing because that was like two months ago. He just got a wrap. Just got around to it. That's how late he is. He does not move quickly. Well, because he's like, he has to recover. It's like Dallas Buyers Club, like every month for him. It's like, it's like the last scene in Dallas Buyers Club every month for this, for Randy the fucking homo.

What is his day? Yes, of course. Randy Raybo. Randy the rainbow. No, it's just Randy Raibo. I mean, the guy lives at fucking, like, Davita. And they're like, we, sort of, we don't do AIDS. And he's like, just fucking pump me full of some fucking saline.

Just, just shoot it in me. He's getting me something. I'm so skinny. He's wild, these disgusting. Devin, look at this. Tell me that's not funny. Yeah, he's... Look at him.

He's a toucan. He's a bird. He's a bird. Ooh, look at me. Look at me. My face is in a bird. Look at me. The president's been a pedophile for a year.

I've never talked about it once. You actually point that up, but that is crazy. They don't talk about that. They don't mention that. They don't talk about the president being fucking children. That's where gay guys and MAGA can shake hands. They don't care that he's a pedophile. Truly.

the Venn diagram. They reach across the aisle and then wrap their hands around, a little boy. That's what brings them all together at the end of the day. Look at him his stupid face in the fucking, in the bird. I know. He's at a steakhouse in the Amazon. They literally should. There should be a history book in the year 2100 where they're like,

what happened to America? And it's a picture of that guy as a bird. And this was political discourse and then we nuked everything. Groundbreaking. Lavering is BS. I just realized he made a comment about straight whites, so that's kind of where he's at. Enough. By the way, if you're, if you're, listen, if in 2026, you're trying to make a comment about straight white people, you should be hit with a big car.

No, yeah, yeah, exactly. You should be run over. If you see a protester, if you're at a no king's protest, which doesn't do anything, it doesn't matter at all, but people get their energy out. If you see somebody holding up a sign that says straight white men, you should drive your car into that part of the crowd. You should be hit by an Indian. Exactly. Eighteen will are Indian. 18 wheelers. 18 Indians and 18 wheeler. You should be hit by a truck driver looking at the

selfies Cash Mattel had leaked, where he's smoking cigars around the world. Didn't Cash Patel, like, lock himself in a closet recently? What? What did he do? Didn't he, like, lose? Didn't he, like, get hacked? Yeah, he got his Gmail hacked. And everyone's trying to, like, literally, he like, he, like, he got locked in the trunk of his car or something. He's the head of the FBI. He makes... He investigates... RFK told them it was a sauna.

They said, if you just sit in your hot car and sweat. If you said, if you do 20 minutes of that a day. He got hacked, right, RFK? Yeah. Cash. All of his Gmail and his private photos got leaked. And it was kind of funny. It was somehow more embarrassing than any Epstein stuff because it's him taking the most Indian selfies that have ever existed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's him wearing cowboy boats, smoking a cigar, taking pictures of like whiskey and stuff. If you're the head of the FBI, you're kind of, not supposed to get hacked, right? You would thank, Devin. What would think? You would think? One would think.

He's just doing chive shit, though. It was kind of wholesome. It was him pretending to play poker, but he didn't have friends. So he was just, like, holding cards, like, at a fucking airport bar and, like, taking pictures with the flash on. And you can see in the reflection of his glasses, no one's across from him. Yeah. Yeah.

He's drunk at 4 p.m. at a Chili's at an airport, and he's pretending he's, like, at some high-stakes poker. Yeah. It's really sad Indian. What if they leaked? They hacked his photos, and it was just nothing but upskirts and airports. As he's the director. Him taking pictures of a mirror he has on his shoe. Yeah, it's pictures of Sarah Huckabee Sanders' pussy from underneath when she doesn't know.

Nothing has been got. No crimes have been solved because he's constantly jacking off to upskirt photos he took illegally. I'm picturing the side of a market fish when I'm picturing her pussy. Like that, you know that little pink? asshole pussy on the bottom of a fish when you're cutting it open. Of course. To de-scale it and everything. I imagine her pussy gets thrown back and forth like those guys at the fish market in

Seattle. They just throw her pussy back and forth while crowd watches. You know the guys I'm talking about? Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Of course. Yeah. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, she looks like kind of like a full back. She's a fuller back.

She has no neck. Her shoulders are above her head. Yep. Yeah. She's Brian Erlacker. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She should be diving over Wyndman to make a tackle on a QB sneak.

She should be doing Troy Paul Mowlery. Exactly. Exactly. She plays with Ed Reed. No, but, uh... You hear, you see clips of her screaming the inward at Ed Reed after he made a great interception. That's right. That's right.

Yeah, she's, um... She's fucked up, man. But she's not even a part of the worst era of Trump. Her and John Federman should have a baby together and they create Rocky from Project Hell Mary. Their baby would be the first baby that's born and says his first words are kill me. I wish John Federman, I wish he would bite himself and kill him. Yeah, because he looks radioactive.

He looks like he should just bite his own neck and kill himself. Yeah, he looks like the elephant's foot at Chernobyl. I hate that guy. He stinks. He's a retard. Big ugly. Big ugly. John Merrick got plastic surgery.

He looks like if John Mayer got plastic surgery. Merrick. John Merrick. The elephant man. Oh, fuck. From the elephant man. Never seen it. Don't like...

It's also an historical thing, retard. Don't really like animals. Don't have to see it. Not an animal guy. Not an animal guy. Not an animal guy. You think the elephant man is like Dr. Doolittle.

Don't really love the zoo. Okay? Baba, chicken baby All right Chicken baby I haven't seen that many animals Since we bought a zoo Okay, babe

Okay, babe Chicken baby Jay's like I kept saying Chicken baby the whole week And at the wedding At Richie's wedding People will be like, what the fuck you're talking about? Like shut up

Shut up I kept doing this I go Chicken baby I get Where I'm like putting my My chest into people I go

Chicken baby Wait, why is John Merrick I'm supposed to know that name? He's the elephant man. But if I haven't seen The Elephant Man, you guys almost acted like I should have known it even if I have. Well, from history, Michael Jackson bought his bones. That was kind of famous.

He bought John Merrick's bones and fuck them. The elephant man was a real guy. I referenced Manu Ginobley upstairs, and you go, great reference. I said John Merrick, and you go, would you shut the fuck up? I actually think he said John Mayer first

He did say Now I feel out of the loop And I'm totally admitting it Me and Jason have told you to watch the elephant man Like a hundred times Yeah but he's ugly I don't really want to watch it It makes me uncomfortable

You stand up in the first five minutes Of the elephant man You go He's a bit of an eyesore You go Yack It's not for me You act like a big

gay guy The theater Same as there was that movie There was that movie with like the different man or whatever that came out. A different man. And like, I'm like, I saw him on the red carpet. I was like, no, I'm not as disgusting. That's crazy.

That's crazy. I'm like, I genuinely like, don't want my night ruin. I don't want to look at your wiggly face. You're a reporter. You're a reporter there on the red carpet. You go, um, sir, sir, ooh. Your comments, ooh, you're gross? You're gross.

Sir, anything to say? You shouldn't be here? You're gross. What are your top four movies also you're gross? I work with Letterbox. You make me feel sad. What's your top four movie? I think I'm going to throw up.

Excuse me. I'm going to put them like at you while I gag a little bit. Go. You kept telling me to watch a different man. I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, I'll check it out. And then I remember I put the trailer on. I was like, ugh. I don't want to, that's a lot.

I'll check it out someday, but I got it, like, I think I need to take, like, an anti-anxiety pill or something. I think Jay sent me to watch some of it. I thought it was pretty good. I loved a different man. I thought it was great. Yeah. Yeah, but you're right, he is gross. I've heard it's great.

No, I will. I'm being, I'm being ridiculous. You're being a comedian. Being a funny guy. But, like, it is a lot. The face is nuts. It is a lot. Some would say it doesn't even look like a fucking face.

Kind of looks like a bunch of swollen, like, thigh meat on a guy's head. He does have to get his, like, his face surgically removed, like, once every two years. Because it keeps growing. It keeps growing mounds. What does he have? Just like, it's just called like fuck you disease? It's called God hates you. You have God hates you syndrome.

God damn it, that poor guy. I saw somebody like, like, a comic. I don't think we've ever met, but he's online and we know him online. And he made a joke about it totally, like, just like a harm. You know, you're just, you're a figure, so you can make a joke about a figure. Uh-huh. He made a joke about him. About the guy.

About the different man guy. The different man guy retweeted it. I think his name's Adam Pearson. Yes, that is it. Yeah. And he goes, like, how dare you? And he called a bunch of, like, negative attention to the comic. Do you guys see that?

I don't think so, no. It's the, you know what I'm talking about? What comic was it? And then the BAFTA guys replies and calls him both the N-word. Yeah. Oh, his Tourette's, he still, he has to type it. He still has to type it. His fingers do it, too.

He still has to type everything out. He's, yeah, he's tweeting his apologies, goes, I want to apologize to Delroyland. And I never meant, no. Press, sin, tweet. Well, he's doing voice to text because he can't type. And he still hits Send tweet. He's like, I can't delete this. It would be, it would be falsifying my disease.

It puts the in all caps. too. Yeah. Oh, it was, it was, it was, it was,

it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, Danny, Danny, Danny,

Polichuk, Polich or something, yeah. Tweeted about, he made like a joke about, like, it was just a red carpet picture of,

of the guy and he said something, some joke in general. It was like completely like, like, fair game. And the elephant man guy got mad.

And the elephant man was like, how, you know, you know, you live your life, like this and that, and these people that,

and so everyone was like attacking him kind of like when when the guy we knew I don't know if I should say his name but like that made the joke the Dramon Green oh he's on he's on he's on the show at the comedy store tomorrow Andrew Bullke yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna see Polk tomorrow I didn't know if he wanted it out there but like yeah so yeah I mean it's in the it's in the news I mean it was it was a big news though yeah it was like Steph Curry was telling him he should die it was very funny because he just he just did like a harmless you know joke you do it was a stupid joke.

And then for some reason, a reporter read it to Draymond Green. Dramon Green's, you know, dressed like wider. Reddit at the fucking, like, post game. The post game. Yeah. Like, do you think this guy said you should be shot in the face? What your response to that? And Raymond's like, that's, I hope that guy gets help.

Yeah. And then a bunch of people tweeted at Andrews saying, I hope you get shot in the face, actually. That was the gigantic, a gigantic waste of time. Was it shot in the face? I can't remember what it was. Uh, yeah, I think that was. It doesn't really matter. Everyone was freaking out about every goddamn stupid fucking tweet.

It was a different. era. It was a comic that like they would never know making a joke in his corner of the world and then it somehow got to him because Twitter's retar you know because like we're not, we live in a bizarre

era where like you know anyone anything can reach anyone. Yeah it was also kind of the adding good which is good and bad. It was the Addington area of kind of like a lot of like black outrage being monetized so it was kind of just like here's something we can throw in your face type of thing. Yeah.

his special is really funny It's on you do Dramon Green Yeah Andrew's a really funny comic I know I'm excited to see him tomorrow Comedy store everybody

I don't know who's out here He's out here for like three days They're not gonna see this Tomorrow it's gonna be out Too late Well I'm gonna have to put it out Before I leave for the comedy store So

Maybe if you're listening If you're hearing this You might have a couple hours This will drive Come on a car Drive there If you're listening to this drive Towards LA at 200 miles

In the hour And you might make it to the show You might make it Yeah in a big rocket. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Yeah. We didn't finish the Rainy Rainbow song, but... Play, play. We're past the point. We gotta do ads now. Yeah, we do have to do ads. Do an ad. I'll edit out the thing about raping what Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Oh? It's fine. But I thought that was good. I enjoyed that a lot. I thought that was great. Do not edit out the part about us raping Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I thought that was good. I thought that was dynamite.

And then would have them false... over the camera Oh yeah He trips and What if Devon gets up To go piss trips And his head goes into the wall And he dies

It snaps his neck And that's the last thing he ever said He goes through the dry wall And he goes through the drywall And he snaps his neck And he's paralyzed That would be bad is what I'm saying Yeah it would be bad actually

Yeah Or it'd be good You know what? You know what is good Oh what's up Shopify Then there's a jingle Wait Shopify's a new guy

Shopify is a new. Shopify is a new thing that I love now. It's a new thing I'm announcing that I love. Hey guys, Shopify, there's never been a better time to launch your new business with Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. Shopify has tools that help businesses grow and succeed. Choose from hundreds of templates and customize to match your brand. Shopify is building. to scale with your business. Create social and email campaigns on their built-in marketing tool. When we first launched merch through Limba Party, I used Shopify exclusively for all of our merch, and it was very intuitive. Merch is a very difficult thing to do, so you want a platform that actually helps you out. And Shopify was the easiest one that I saw online to use back then

when we were making and shipping our merch ourselves. Shopify, it's time to turn those what-ifs into sound effect with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash lemon party. Go to Shopify.com slash lemon party. That's Shopify.com slash lemon party. And then there's another, they want a lot of chichings in this. They got it, man. How many chings they want?

They want three chichings. Five with me, man. Not ching's, chichings. It's a big difference. And then this is our other ad Hey guys, come see us on the road. Oh, right, yeah. Devin.

We have to keep promoting that. Come see us in Austin and Houston. Later in April. No, no, it's in April. In April. In April. So April 28th is Austin. Houston is May 1st.

Yeah. What a fucking, whoever fucking plan. This trip's an idiot. Wait, is it bad? You guys say I always choose bad days to go. But I was confirmed with you guys before we go. No, I'm kidding. I'm saying like in terms of selling it

it's like it's two fucking months two different fucking Devin has a good point actually and our agent's running us ragged I think is what's going on. Our agent is just trying. You know it's funny I'm such a lazy bozo that I'm like a second show really? They're greedy

pigs. They're working me to the bow. But Devin this is your opportunity to do we might be drunk. You updates. Wait why is that true? Are they they do it in Austin? Huh? They do in Austin? What? The movie might be drunk. Can Devin get on the show? No, I'm saying this is Devin's chance to read dates. Oh, April 28th? Hey, May birth? Yeah. Got it. We finally

get to be the show that just reads dates, and that's the whole reason you do the show. That's so awesome. And it's two different rooms. That's how you know we made it. It's two different rooms. One is the creek in the cave. One is the secret group. Tickets available for all shows at Lemon Party. Life. Just click on the live shows tab. Lemon Party. Life. When you're a guy who does not care about your podcast at all, so you just tell people a little time that you added a show. Hey, the guys, we added a show.

Yeah. Comics, if you're speaking to a comic, they just go, hey, I just added a show. You know, like, I don't. Nobody cares about this at all. Nobody. And they're like, hey, we just added a 14th show in Cleveland. It's like, okay, I don't want to ever know that.

You wasted my time. Stop. Stop it. I love talking to comics after like, hey, do you have fun up there? They're like, no, I kind of disassociated the whole time. They're like, no idea what I was even saying. I was repeating myself. I hate doing this.

I actually get blackout fucked up. Anytime I go on stage, this kind of, it's destroyed every relationship in my life. It's changed the person I'll be until the day I'm dead. But there's something about being worship like a God that I can't say no to because I have a personality disorder. Yeah. Pick what comics you want to fill in them. Jamie Kennedy. Jamie Kennedy.

Or of course talking about Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider. Who wants your children to be drafted? It's so funny. The animal. The animal.

The hot chick. Deuce Bigelow says that you should die. In Israel, the movie is called the goyum. Instead of what? The animal. Oh, right. Right. Very good.

Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's fine. It is very funny to be Rob Schneider to be 65 years old. Do no service your entire life. Make movies that suck ass. He should be killed by like the Hawaiian ADL. Yeah, the pineapple ADL.

They're all swagger. They're Israeli swangers that live in Hawaii. They're upside down pineapples. Yeah. As you learned this week, you learned a little about that. Yeah, it's interesting. Oh, yeah. What a story that was.

Jace, can I get a Lucy? And then Ben tell you. I left mine upstairs. I'm sorry. Do you think my wife again? No! Wait, did you say a pineapple lucy? No, no, no.

Do they have pineapple loosies? They should. They should. They should. No, but you had a... I wish I could do nicotine. Guys, we can't talk about Lucy this much. They didn't buy an ad this one.

We're on an ultra-goy beam. This is a guy beam. This is a car beam. This is everything. I met Netanyahu. I'm never going to hell. So what... So what who's pretty big on YouTube message me?

They go, there is no way you were making that much on Patreon. Really? But then if you skipped anywhere in the show. They'd be like, but how are they doing it? They were messaging me. They'd go, dude, how do you do this? Teach me how to do this. I'm like, I have no idea.

They're like, you got to make a Kanye West song, but it's about a glib. Because I think if he clicked on like two episodes ago, they're just bottles breaking. Yeah, we're trying to figure out. By the way, the glass is still on the floor. Oh, yeah. The glass. There's still shards of glass right here. There's still shards.

Look, I'll pick one up. Shard of glass right here. Been on the floor for three weeks. Oh, yeah. Another shard fell out. Fell into my shorts. Whatever. I'm gonna get too shaky one riff and cut my foot open and bleed out on set.

Ultra Goy Beam featuring Chance the Raper. Ultra Goy Beam is actually one of my favorite things now. This is a goad dream. This is a goad dream. This is everything. This is everything. I'm trying to. Grape kids.

Deliver us Chevy tacos. Deliver us grills. You know we need it. You know we need the burger. You know we need a burger. We need potato salad.

No. This is a gourd dream. But it's bombs dropping. Burger. This is everything. Are one of our Marines going to set their foot on the ground? I thought they already did you were saying. When they see there's not boots on the ground, does that mean other Marines are in rascal scooters?

So technically we haven't invaded yet because we haven't touched the actual ground yet. We could just say there's no boots on the ground. We could just like, you know, they could just put them in different shoes. Yeah. That's true, Evan. Trump could just be like, there's no boots on the ground actually. They're in vans. It's just, it's the desert.

full flip-flop noises. Yeah. They're actually in slides, actually. Oh, our soldiers are walking across the desert like black athletes in college. They're actually like they look like D1 athletes on their day off, actually. Shuffling with their heads back like it's broken. They're in slides. Pushing their feet across the ground.

They just took a shower. They've always just taken a shower and they're walking very slowly down the hallway. And they're so black, you're scared to pass them. And you don't know why they walk that slow, but they do. Every one of them do. Who knows why they walk that slow when they have your wallet right in front of you? This is a gory dream. This is everything.

This is everything. You should make Randy Rainbow, but he's really racist. You should do that. And you should be making like ultra-goy beam. This is my burger. There is extra cheese. That's the only part I can remember from the song Is he goes, This is my partner, nobody else speak

This is my part nobody else speak That's all I remember from that song Because that part was really cringed My family from New Jersey Tel Aviv Oh, that's good I don't think any part of that song is cringe No, it's an amazing song I mean, looking back there's a couple cringe

No Why is it cringe? Who decided it's cringe? What's cringe about it? Some homo? Some, I don't know, probably I mean, look, I was on, so I was on, there's a music review. Telling a bunch of, like, oh, fat black women that have devoted their lives to the church, that they're cringe. It's like the greatest moment of their life. They're singing from their fucking, their gut.

Is that that hard? From their loins. They're, like, literally, they're pulling, they're pulling, they're pulling, like, like, once in a lifetime beauty from their, like, hip joints. You're cucking right now. Ben's watching 20 feet from Starry. him. He's like, should be 80 feet. They're going, get them back. You go, it's cringe fag.

Every, it's like, every black woman can sing like that the way every black guy can just do a backflip standing in one place. Or, like, do a hundred push-ups. Every black guy can run super fast and, like, jump over basketball groups and shit. It's the same thing with fat black woman. They just naturally can, ah, baby. No. Baby. They can all do it.

No. They can all do it. They all can do it. It's a natural innate thing. I guarantee you if you went anywhere in the world, you could find a black woman in Vienna. She could just right there. Well, you couldn't find a black woman at Vienna. They got them the hell out of there.

She's there fucking stealing sausages. Right, folks? Very true, Devin. No, you're being a little crazy about fat black women. You're being up to about fat black women. There's something white guys say they're like, white guys will just go, well, like, any black woman in a church is like a better singer than like X, Y, or Z is something people say. I'm like, well, first of all, you're not hearing her specific voice. You're hearing her amongst a sea of goals, you know, a sea of, of, goals. Goals. Goals is crazy. You couldn't pick one. Is that where they're called Seagulls? Or like, are they actually all goals? I was searching for a word. I couldn't find one. So you're flailing. You're talking shit about a group of

Maybe the most Disrespected group in American history Talking shit about a minority of women They have a hard life And you can't even get your words to go Even the male members of their own race Don't respect them at all I feel like any woman with huge tities

Can just sing And black women are naturally born With huge big ass fat fucking breasts I mean breasts the size of H-2s Like we're talking to like Big you know fun bags that can just swing around and knock around and there's an extra kick in them. Those are boosters.

Yeah, they have an extra muscle to grow breast tissue. That's what you're saying. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Those are lungs. Their lungs go into their tits. Like frogs, is what you're saying. That's what you're saying.

Thank you, Jace. Much like the throat of a frog. Much like a bullfrog. That's what you're saying, right? That's what you're saying right now. This is what I am saying. You do forget about how big a black woman's tities are. They're so big.

until you see a white woman with tities that look like a black woman's titties and then it reminds you I've seen that do you remember the lady one of the kids in migrating middle school her mom his mom was very fat and her tithes were so big she drove the school bus and they got caught in the steering wheel of the school bus it like flipped yeah yeah no like they did it like a simon birch because her tities got like stuck yeah a little tiny fucked up r j middy fucking fucking brad grett midget had to say Everybody, he's swimming between her huge black brass. That's how he died. He got stuck between her titties. And she was standing on shore.

And you're going to die with me, baby. You're going to die. I'm going to drag you to hell with these tities, baby. These big black tini, you're going to worship these motherfucking big-ass black thing, bitch. She was white, though, the lady driving the school bus. She looked like legally blonde. No, we didn't drive the school bus because her dad was a coach, and we'd just stay until he went home.

but I remember pray tell from people that her nipples would get like get like her tits were in the wheel and her nipples would get like flicked back and forth anytime she turned the steering wheel that's how big her weird tities were and everybody her kid was a weirdo he was like an rOTC kid with like a shaved head yeah but he's 12 he's 12 he's in their army reserves yeah everybody called him a fava from the the super troopers movie he looked like that guy Okay. And they just walk up and they'd be like, your mama's big fucking titty's got stuck in the wheel again.

You freak. And then they like slap him and then just keep walking. But they told me her nipples would like get brushed back and forth like an old, you remember how keypads used to be in the 90s where they had that thing in the middle? The wheel was doing that to her nipples. A little weird. What was that for? Why did they ever have the,

I think for freaks? I think for freaks, you're watching the first internet pornography on your laptop and you're flicking that little button. little tiny thing what the fuck who did who used that on any level i'm freaks i think freaks used it pretend it was a nipple while they're watching pornography they were sucking on why and used it my fucking i don't know shit i'm about to produce d l hulus podcast i don't need this show anymore yeah you did get an offer to produce d l hugh's that's about to become d l heli's main guy we're actually kind of thinking about doing it just as a bit i thought it would be like really funny

for you to commit i don't need the money but it would be kind of funny to do it i think first stuff you do need the money. Don't let it. You need all the money. You're underwater on your mortgage. Oh, yeah. I forgot I have a mortgage. I think you should do it, but I think the first day you show up to record D.L. Hulie's podcast, I think you should show up dress like D.L. Hulie. I think you should show up like you're a pimp for ribs. You have the weirdest suit and hat combo of all time. I bring my own filing cabinet, but it's to smoke meat. Yeah, you're dressed like Cam Newton. And you go, I'm ready to record D.L. Yeah. That would rock.

I just think it's so, I don't know why the way you record, because I just think it's so funny. You'd be on screen, too. I'd be on screen with D.L. Hewley. So I just, like, imagine, like, D.L. just being like, that's the thing about Congress is they don't want you to know these things. And he goes, what do you think about that, Ben? And you're like, did you see the video of the Indian guy that got eating diarrhea? He's eating a big ball of it. I think you should, like, I think you should do it.

But then you should just, like, you should show up with, like, a gun and, like, fry. chicken in your pockets. I'll pull my phone and my wallet and my fried chicken and my gun. And you have a cover on your phone that's like Marshawn, like a Marshawn Lynch, like phone cover. You're just trying extra hard to like fit in. And he's dropping Skittles into Hennessy and drinking it. Like it's Dr. Pepper and Peanets.

So if D.L throws it to me, do I just, do I just go anti-Y? die of mine these crackings don't know shit out here crackers don't know what it's like for it and then you just drop hard in you just drop it you go you know it's a cracker's world and I'm just a just trying to make a nut you know

yeah yeah he probably let me go super anti-Semitic I bet that's where you guys could bond that's where you guys could a mesh some ferricon shit some real fairer con talking about the slave ships and stuff like that I can keep up with him I can talk about William Fard Muhammad I can talk about Elijah

Muhammad I can talk about the message to black man in America. I can talk about all that shit. See, I think you lean into that. I think you show up looking like Kevin Love, his first season in the league, when he still had this chin-strap beard. Yeah. I think you could pull it off. Do you think he's a black Israelite or a nation-of-Islam guy? Which

way do you think he goes there? I think he's a nation-of-islam guy because I don't think he goes for the straight Tom Fulry. Of the black Israelis. That's more of a Bernie Mac thing. It's a black Israeli. But he's, yeah, he's big bow-tie Nation of Islam. I like that. Farrakhan, brother. Oh, that would be, that would be

forward. Fard. That'd be Elijah Muhammad and William Fart Muhammad. They were a nation of Islam. You're telling me his name was... Black Israelites are Farrakhan. You're telling me his name was Fart Muhammad. Now you're being racist.

Yeah. Fart Muhammad. There's a guy named William Fart Mahat. There's a guy named Whippy Allah. Yeah. Whoopi Muhammad. Whoopee Goldberg Muhammad. Yeah.

Jankham Muhammad. Who is Fard Muhammad? William Fard Muhammad was the guy from Detroit in the early 30s where he started the nation of Islam and he's recruiting people and they did a human sacrifice live on, they got a member to come up and was like, will you, for Allah, will you let us drive this stake

into your ha'at, my brother. During church one day. Yeah, yeah, and his family was there and they let him do it. And they killed a guy. At the specific time, one of William Fard-Mohamed's pastors that he had set up, believe that this is what he was called to do and the guy agreed to be a human sacrifice

live on stage. So they killed him And then the police investigated it. They put that guy in jail. They told William Farahman, like, you got to get out of town. You can't do this shit anymore. And they ran him out of, I think it was Detroit. I think it was Detroit. I'm pretty sure.

And then William Farb Muhammad around that time was, he still kept up with his nation of Islam shit. Eventually, Elijah Muhammad took over and made the messages to black man in America. From that is where he expanded on all the Yakub shit. Right. Pretty much got the timeline down. But they did real live humans. You can read about it on, that's a real historical thing. They sacrificed the man in front of his family.

It's crazy. That's how bad Detroit was that they were doing like Aztec shit. They were like killing people on big ziggurots and stuff. Yeah, it's crazy, right? A guy agreed to do that too. Jesus. Do we know the guy's name at all? The black guy?

Yeah. Yeah, it's all right. You can look up his name. I don't think I'm making it up. On William Fard Bahamah. Yeah, he's the father. of the Nation of Islam. Yeah, William Fart Muhammad killed my

granddaddy. He drove a big steak through his heart one day. William Farr... I'm saying human... Because I was confused about Nation of Islam and Black Israelis for a while. Can I say you typing William Hart... You typing William Farr Muhammad

while doing chicken pecking on a keyboard is the closest you've ever been to our granddaddy. So after one of Farts, Followers performed a human sacrifice. Fardt was briefly arrested, but the police ordered him to depart Detroit, not return. Instead, he continued to return the city where he's spotted by police in 1934 after repeated arrest and death threats. Farr'd left Detroit and ultimately disappeared. By the way, that's a white guy. That's H.P. Lovecraft. That's Wallis Fard-Mohmed. I believe he was a black man, buddy. Maybe he was white, Jace. Maybe, I don't know. Dude, I see a lot of people that's supposedly black. I'm like, you're white to me, but I don't know, man. I still see some people. people in Iran, I'm like, you're not white to me. They're all white, but they are, but they fucking put, you know, they love to put the beach towels over their head and shit. Let me see if I can find the human, oh yeah, so here's the human sacrifice. James J. Smith here.

It looks like they were doing this guy at favor. This is the guy they get killed. That's the face you make right before a bus runs you over. That's crazy. They called it the voodoo murder. James J. Smith. They killed J. Smith.

They killed three-point legend J.J. Smith. Never seen a man more oppressed. Just look at the oppression in that man's face. Yeah. They took him to a makeshift altar in the home at 1429 Dubois. Yeah, because they do home church there. He looks like a gay black guy that was like beating up for being gay. Maybe that's why he let him kill them or let them kill him.

He was just a closet of gay man. He has like a kind of a homosexual look to him. Yeah. Robert Coriam was described as a large 44-year-old Negro who had moved from Tennessee to Detroit on July 3rd. You can't say Negro on Wikipedia, but you can't say negress, which is interesting. Well, yeah, I only, I've said Negro a few times, like when I'm making, like, an announcement. Like, in a public place.

Sure. Sure. When this window talking? Obviously. When describing the valley. When I'm assigning people to their different groups. You're like, everybody, can the calm down and move to the back? All the whites over here, all the Negroes over there.

I was walking around San Diego the other day. I saw a restaurant called, it was three names. I forget the last one, but it was seafood Negro, something. What? That's crazy. But it was a Spanish restaurant, so it's seafood. Okay, Negro. It's seafood negro, but it's spelled, so it looks like seafood Negro.

I forget the, it was like, you know, Mazzal or something like that. Sure, sure, okay. But I was just like, I tried to take a picture of seafood Negro, and my girlfriend started yelling at me, so I had to keep walking. I was like stopping the group we were with. I was like, oh my God. Oh, everyone, look! Guys, it's seafood Negro.

That's nuts. Why is everyone not excited about this? Guys, that's really funny. Look at it. Look at it. Normal. And then everybody just kept walking into the thrift store. They just ignored me.

And I go, fine. I'll talk about it on my award-winning podcast. Fine. Negras. I read poetry. That was the word degris in it. Negris. Negris and degrises.

What poetry? Oh, well, Stevens. So I'm rereading Moby Dick at the beginning of it. It's very funny. He walks into a black church. And then he's like, oh, heaven. Oh, yeah. He leaves.

Yeah, yeah. I forgot about that. Something our dad did one time when we were kids. Yeah, pretty funny. Do you remember that? So if we ever traveled, my dad would try to find a church for us. He'd be like, we're still going to church. Like, we're waking up on Sunday.

We're going to find a way to get community and everything. So he would be like, I'm going to go out the church first. He's like, you guys stay here and he'd park the suburban. Yeah, you're on vacation. We're in Mississippi. No, no, no, no, no. I remember that you might be describing a different time, but I remember we all walked into the church one time. Oh, I don't remember this.

I would start laughing. I think it was newly, you did start laughing. I think it was, we had newly moved and we were trying to find a new church. And so, yeah, our dad just had to, like, look up Church of Christ in the phone book. It was the first church of Noravit. Yeah. It was. He said, we're going to try up Big Mama's church on Sunday.

But we walked in, and I remember it was, like, literally like, the Blues Brothers. Like, we walked in and there's black guys doing, like, backflips and stuff. And then we, like, walked in this gigantic white family, just fucking the mountain. Tulsa Chase is wearing like a big Tommy Bahama shirt and a fedora. I'm wearing a big dog shirt and a fedora. I'm the size and weight of Tony Soprano. And then we walk in and then I swear to God it was like it was like the scene in house party like record scratch. Just like, like, 150 like down like southern black like black guys with mud and chops.

And like a brown suit with big fucking. collars like so looking back like guys look back the one guy like dropped like the the fucking um quart bottle of like whiskey out of his hands and then my dad goes we're getting the we're getting the hell out and then we turned around and we walk straight out they're like we're not going to this and i it was like walking out on a blind day where you make eye contact when you go oh shit you just turn around and leave and don't even do it and i to be fair to our family it was not a race thing it was because we did not believe that instruments in clapping should be involved in church service. And of course, they're doing...

Because black people are so good at both of those things. Yeah, yeah, that we don't want to get, you know. We don't want to be tempted to be black. Yeah, we also played basketball with only three-pointers. We said, none of that dunking shit. Yeah, JJ Redick style only. But it was so... I just remember walking back to the parking lot and just being like,

we could have at least, like, stayed for like 30 minutes or some... It might have been some beautiful thing that moved you and changed you forever. Yeah. And we were like, nah, it's black. I also remember we had, occasionally they would have preachers come and like visiting preachers. Like you would trade it. You'd do a wife swap with another congregation for their preacher. Yeah.

And we had a black preacher come in from Alabama. And he was like killing. Like we never heard anything like that. He was like pacing. It was like a Chris Rock special. And he was talking about it. He was like, that's the thing the Muslims don't understand. And then like people were like getting into it.

Yeah. And then. And then he started. making a joke about how Catholic boys about how Catholic priests fuck little boys booty holes he was like that's the thing about the Catholic priest said they're too busy with the with the kids booty holes and the whole the whole church was like we're deeply we would do like the bottom dropped out of the room it was like kind of nuts they didn't they were not into it at all yeah but he was like killing it and then just bombed like

the last 15 minutes yeah but I love that I was like I thought he was going to kill I was like this guy's amazing but we yeah No, no. But in our white church, this is the kind of jokes of preacher to make that go. White-ass. White-ass church. They would go, now, I like to think that a lot of us in here are going to heaven, but I know there are some UT fans in the back, so I'm not so sure about that.

I'm just giving y'all a hard time. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just tugging on your shirt collars there. Shit like that. Anyway, as soon as this service done, I'm going to go cheat on my wife. Anyway. I think you're going to go towards. Anyway, I'm going to throw sex with an underage member of the congregation. I did do that, but I felt like I'd done too many of those jokes recently, so I had to go somewhere else.

But anyway. Anyway. Yeah, I remember, we've covered this ad nauseum, but I remember our preacher who was like fucking 85 years old being like, I turned on the radio the other day, and I heard a song that disgusted me. It said, the song started. There's a little cowbell and he said, I'm gonna have everybody naked by the end of this song.

He's talking about like, I think, Signorita by Justin Timberle. And he goes, that's what they want your children to do. They want your children to strip damn naked

before this song ends. Three and a half minutes, they want your children naked. I heard this one. They want you from the window to the wall. That's the whole room, folks. Listen.

We're talking about the And Ty, look around at the windows of the wall in this room. So you're telling me these ying yang twins are going to fuck my wife on a creaky bed? Why aren't the ying yang twins, chanks? It's confusing my racism. I'm a little confused why the ying yang twins are negers. Listen. Amen, y'all.

I called my joke. I called Mike Jones number to list of complaint. It went to voicemail. It wasn't even his number. It was some Chinese fella in Houston. Some Chinese dentist.

8004 my ass. 281-3308004. Who the fuck is Mike Jones? Who the fuck is Mike Jones? I've heard of my language, of course. Part of my language, y'all. Part of my fucking language.

But who the fuck is my job? Wait, you're going to take your clothes off because it's harm here. This West Texas, y'all, it's 98 every day. We're supposed to strip naked? Nicked. Nicket? Nick? Every goddamn day of the week?

It was so funny to just hear him drop, like, pop culture stuff. He's bringing sexy back. He's much like the Antichrist will bring sin back into you life. Justin Timberlake is a Negro and must be killed. He thinks he's black. He thinks he's black. He thinks he's black. He's like, Timberland must be stopped.

He changed. He changed stronger by Kanye. He made it sound like a club song. He needs to be stopped. These timber wolves have gone too far. Kevin Gernet has done it again. God damn Kevin Garnett. Kevin fucking Garnett.

Producing every goddamn fucking song on the radio. Part of my language, y'all. Pardon my fucking language. Yeah. Yeah. I would love it if we would. He went back to our old church and he's still there just being like, what is Metro Boomin

want some more of? Y'all ever think about that? I heard a 21 Savage song about, he said, ask my bitch how my dick tastes. That scared me. He makes scary raps. What is Metro Boomer?

What does he want some more of? Sounds gluttonous. Sounds... At best. That is what. one of the seven deadly sins after being black and Chinese. Third sin once more. Metro booming right there. That shall not be Chinese.

There shall not be Chinese. The second deadly sin. So you're telling me they're pimping butterflies. They're selling insects for sex, y'all. It's fucked up, y'all. Bugs. They fuck bugs. They're pampering bugs.

They sell bug pussy. That's what you're telling me. That's what you want your kids to do? Your kids go down at Times Square. They buy a caterpillar's pussy and fuck it. Is that what y'all want? You want your kids to grow up to fuck bugs? Your kids are a bunch of bug fuckers.

And you're wondering what went wrong. Meanwhile, you're letting them buy the Kendrick Lamar CD. Yeah. Keep me. Keep it up. Keep it up. Your grandchildren, Barry, I'm married a bug.

Why? Because he heard a song by a Negro. Why? About 50. Why is he singing about swim pools? He can't swim, y'all. He's trying to get into our communities, into our golf courses. He starts admitting that he's now just doing bits.

He's like, I didn't even believe that one. I just thought it was funny. Yeah, he's going like, all right, what's some other rap songs? um fucking um damn that's a curse right there dam's a curse dam's a curse kensig Lamar has cursed us with his new album that's not good that's not good y'all em and em surverted what was a good candy into something nothing sweet about him y'all nothing's sweet about and little peep he's better little peep i like little peep i'm a little zan man i like that sound cloud shit y'all

because I can't hear the rhyme. I can't understand the rhymes and get mad at them. Wait, it would be funny, you find out the preacher at the end has his own sound cloud. What's that? The preacher has his own sound cloud. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

He's like, follow me. My sound cloud is J-Shit. Jesus. It sounds anti-Semitic. It's J-Shit. But it's Jesus. J-Shit, y'all. Follow me on J-Shit.

Follow me on J-Shit. It's about Jesus, but also if you really dig deep into the archive. I'm going off on the Jews. If you're cool. If you're cool. If you pass the vibe check, we'll get into it, pal. If you get that far, brother. Patreon.com slash other party, where to keep this going.

We have to talk about, I think me and my wife almost, these swingers that are trying to seduce me in my life, trying to fuck me and my wife. That's a Patreon one star. We got to talk about the wedding, too, with Devon. Yeah, big wedding stuff. Yeah, big wedding stuff. We're going to keep it going. I got to get more. I'm burning alive.

Patreon.com slash lemon party. Okay. Devon, can you grab the looses upstairs any chance? They're on the, they're on the shiffrope next to your couch. Yeah. My chine. My chink. Don't you like my chine, mine.

Y'all goochie mine and I'm popping off the chite, mine. And my check a bit so fruity. Call me Gucci mine. No, you call me Gucci, Gucci. My chine. My chine. Don't you like my chine mine. Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mine

And my Jacob is so fruited Call me Gucci mine No you call me Gucci Gucci I came to the club Just to fuck's my chain line Catch another charge and I'm going to the chain game Oh I think I'm icing Eam bologna sex and rice cream

Don't you see how bright it is City girls and country girls be telling me how tight it is They be choosing Diamonds be so sparkingly They think my chain was blue To meet some minded bunching off and ball to The way my chain hang. Gucci, I don't gang bang.

All I do, don't you like my china, and I'm popping off the chain And my checkup is so fruited, call me Gucci Gucci. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chine mind? You're on Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chain And my checkup is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine, no you call me Gucci Gucci. Gucci, you be shy.

Gucci, you be shining, man. Don't turn me home home. Tell me who your job. Because I got this chine. My chine ain't hang to my shoe scrime. Love my chine. Bobbo, stupid. Don't you like my chine mine.

Yon Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain. And my Jacob is so fucking Gucci, Gucci. My chain, my chine. Don't you like my chine mine. Y'all goochie mine and I'm popping off the chain. And my Jacob is so fucking Gucci, Gucci. My first chain I had to rob for it. Jesus peace, yellow diamond sitting all in it.

I'm on some slick brick shit. Mr. T. Diamond's so bright. Ain't a way you can't see the G. Look, I don't dance, I just lean with it. My piece is sick, Gary Robert trying to leave with it. I got that New York fitted on. Full suit, Dickie on. Gucci link chain, blue stones in a nigger charm. Now watch me do it. Do it with no hands. Traps when he craned on that bezel and that band. But my chain got my girlfriend. and I'm popping off the chain, mine. And my Jacob is a for me Gucci Gucci. My chain, my chain, don't you like my chine, mind?

Y'all, Gucci mine, and I'm popping off the chain. And my Jacob is a bit of fruit that call me Gucci, Gucci.