lemonparty - 190: The Chicago Bull

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

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coming on, but we can start if you guys want to. Computer. Okay, computer. That's a little millennial chungus joke for you. Yeah, a heckin a heckin radio head joke. My wife was invited to go hang out with Scotty Pippen and she declined.

Absolutely, I'm sorry. Scottie Pippen tried to fuck your wife for real. And he said, y'all can use my credit card if you want. You can buy anything you want. Really? Yeah. He invited your wife and a friend back to his house. Yeah, so so my wife's friend is single. and she declined, and my wife kept pressing her,

and I think it's just because she's not down. Your wife was mad that... She's like, your wife's friend looked at Scotty Pippen and goes, sorry, no blacks. Like an escort ad? She goes, you look like a wooden Indian. No, thank you. Oh, a cigar store Indian?

Yeah, cigar store Indian. Scottie Pippen looks like the Cleveland Indians logo. You can turn it worse than an accent. He looks like you can turn his head into a boat if you wanted to. And I was making me laugh so hard because she was she was texting us that like, she was texting you guys while she was next to Scottie Pippen. Yeah, she was texting. She was like, I'm trying to get my friend to fuck Sky Pippen. She won't. And I was just laughing at the idea of Scotty Pippen is not able to have sex at all. Yeah. Like he's walking. Michael Jordan's son's son is fucking. His ex-wife. who took all of his money he doesn't have any money and now

he's in the valley somewhere trying to fuck can't and then he's walking home like with the Charlie Brown music playing yeah and then when he does he goes to his like he goes to a strip club and he tries to fuck a stripper and they're blasting future and future singing about fucking his ex-wife

while they were married yeah while they were cheating cheating causing the divorce that took all of his money yeah that's why Scottie gave gave Katie and that other the other lady his credit card he's like why don't you go get some fake asses some tits come on back i want to get you guys go into the gas carpet stop yeah i got a i got a i got a yeah he's got a

bimbo chop shop or a guy a guy named t bone will get him fixed up but i just imagine him walking home like with the ben and dun and dun and he's like kicking the dirt like can't get any pussy. Millionaires, like, six, eight. Vince Goraldi is playing constantly throughout Scotty Pippin's day. Yeah, he's like constantly, he's like Charlie Brown with the football.

It keeps trying to get pussy and then taken away from him. She doesn't, I mean, nothing that anyone was saying about who Scotty Pippin was meant anything to her. She didn't care. This lady's looking for a man. Story of OJ. Yeah.

Story of OJ. Still. you know. I don't get what that means to be honest with you. She goes, you are black. You're not OJ. I won't date you.

I'll only date OJ. Yeah, she's pointing around the bar. She's going black in, Jew and, yeah. She's doing the chorus. Why does Scotty Pippen hang out at the bar by my house? What bar is it? Oh, let me see. Well, don't say.

Yeah, don't say the actual bar. But what type are we talking? Dive bar? I think it's sad. I think I've been, I think I walk into this bar before and everybody there is in their 50s because like Ginzy's not going out a lot. It's the valley too. That's what I think is Scotty Pippin was like he's when working his way down the food chain.

He's like a shark that's eating plankton off the C4 now because he can't catch any fish. No, I know. Yeah. He started at like the high end like miami style bars and now he's at a place called Foxfire Room. He's at a place where they filmed the saddest scene in in Magnolia. He's trying to fuck a racist podcast or. wife.

He's walking into a bar and it's like, goodbye stranger. Goodbye, James. Yeah, he's bowling with the gutters up now. He's like, who cares? Who gives a shit? Please. He's still striking out.

Just give it to me. Please. And he's still, yeah, the ball bounces on the other lane. Unbelievable, Scotty. He posted an AI. He posted like a commercial that he made. With AI. With AI about Kobe.

Because he like hates Michael. He's just kind of been losing his mind. So he like hates Michael Jordan. so now he like he posts a lot about Kobe now. But it's all just like, obviously I'm sure he like respects Kobe, but it's all like, fuck you, MJ. Yeah, fuck you. Kill yourself. Yeah. Because he's had a weirdly amazing and tragic life.

Yeah. By his own fault, he fucked himself out of all his money because he was so worried about being poor. He signed a terrible deal. Yeah. Early in his career. And he was just always kind of like, great, great basketball player, but he was just always like an off-putting dick. Yeah, second banana. Look at him.

Pee's himself. Yeah. This is him next to your wife. This is my wife and her friend. That's his ex. That's before she got like a lot of shit done. The one on the right, right next to him? Yeah, then the black, yeah.

The one with futures come dripping down her leg. That's actually futures piss. Yeah. Do you think Scotty and like Liam Nason and other piss pants guys made up and like talk about how much they kick ass? And just let it go. They all, it's like one of those. gay orgy rooms.

They all put on a fresh pair of pants and just wet it. And they compare Getty images of them on red carpets, peeing themselves. Yeah, it's like a car show, like a meetup. Yeah. He's holding up a pair of pants that are completely wet. He's like, this was three years ago. You can tell he's losing it because he really is like he uses the internet. Like he's getting, he gets into AI and like grok and he'll, he asks questions.

Like he, he like farms for like attention. He'll be like, who do y'all? Like, what do y'all think? Like that type of shit. Who else here fucked my wife? Oh, man, he's tweeting about Fortnite and Bitcoin. Yeah, Bitcoin and Fortnite. Yeah, I think he has his own coin called Dollar Ball.

I saw some video of him. Like, these guys live in these, like, these houses that are so big. I think he gets lost in his house a lot, like, backrooms. Yeah. And he kind of forgets he has, like, kids and other people there. And he just gradually walks in on his wife, like the scene in the shining. Yeah. The guy in the bear suit.

Look at these vague posts. Lock in on June 2nd. What? For what? That's him trying to not piss. I guess maybe that was the NBA finals. He's at a bar. Half pissed his pants.

He goes, lock in, Scotty. What if that's why he can't get pussy's walking around bars fully pissed himself every time? Yeah. Like his incontinence. That's crazy. Look, I told my wife, you know, you don't got to go to Chicago to find a bull. you know what I mean Cavanity

Covey Very good That's Cavanity! Very good, babe That is good Cavanity. Very good. I enjoyed that.

You know what's funny is I was at home watching the Matrix Revolutions and I got a tax I was like, I guess my wife might She might fuck Scotty Pipman today. That's the wonderful thing

about living in LA You can watch the Matrix Revolutions while your wife fuck Scottie Pippin. I told Katie I'd fuck Scottie Pippin. I was like, what are you guys doing? We were pissed. We were like yelling at her.

friend threw her. Go fuck him. Go fuck him right now. He was like, please come back to my place. And then they said no. And then Katie was making him laugh a lot and trying to keep the like the volley going. Yeah. And then he at some point said, I will give you my credit card and you can buy whatever you want. And he like flashed his credit card like that.

Saying like you girls can go out right now. He just didn't want to get up out of his seat at the bar. He goes, can you guys get me some new pants? Get yourself whatever you want Buy me some pants Run to target Run to target It gets declined

Get me They cut in a nap That's unbelievable to me We should have drove down there He's at a sad bar I was about to drive down there And make him fuck my wife He's just hanging out

At like Rockos In German Oaks Pissing himself I wonder if it I wonder what what the place was actually. I think I know the name of the bar. I forget the name of it. It's sad though. I mean, the valley

goes for so long on Ventura. There's a million bars. I know, but he's supposed to be doing like bottle service saying to a woman, Hi, I'm Scotty Pippen. And it's like a high-end escort. He's not even in like Burbank. He's in like the West Valley. He's in like Chatsworth. Burbank would be tragic as well.

It would be tragic, but at least it's not that far out. No, true. Well, I think he lives out there doesn't he? He must. That's where all those guys. They all live at the top of a mountain and then they They drive their cars down a windy road, and then they walk into a Mr. Furleys. Like Dracula. Yeah, and they ask women if they want to play pool. I told you I saw Kevin Garnett.

Yeah. At the gas station by my house. Yeah. You saw him at like a Vaughn's or something, right? No, I saw him walking out of a gas station. I ran up to him, and I asked him if I could have the Furby. Is it kind of hold it? He goes, man, the Jews owned the Furby.

That ain't my Furby. Shit. man since the Jews put me in that movie all these white motherfuckers coming up to me asking me for the Furby I would have never been in that Jewish-ass movie finding Josh Shafty those terrible things to that woman

for Betty Safty Oh no no it was Josh One of them The uglier one Whichever one that is The one that looks like an armpit He did that to that little black Teenage on that movie set

And he made that shit He might be speaking of movies Devon was sitting through backroom Devon was like howling laughing the whole time while we were watching. Oh yeah, I left like four times. I did my own backrooms. I think that's the point of the movie. It's so boring you leave and wander the halls of the AMC.

And you're like, wow, this is scary, I guess, hallways. You in the backrooms and you see a mcuffins and you go, I'm never leaving. It's the first time in my life I really never get up in the middle of the movie and go get like popcorn. And I'm like, take your time. I really could have cared less. I walked back in. Seemed like nothing had happened. I get it.

It was fine. The kid's talented. but I don't, I didn't care about it for. Yeah. They should have started the movie halfway in. When she's going there, that should have been the start of the movie. She's fucking terrible in the movie, too. I don't even understand.

She's a great actress, and I was, like, laughing at her acting in the movie. She can't face. It was just, I don't. They can't make her American. She sounds retarded. And I won't spoil any things in it, but it wasn't scary. And it was, I don't care. I honestly think, if I was me, if I found, like, if I ran, like, a furniture store,

and I wandered downstairs. and I went through the wall, and then that was this, like, crazy other world that I wanted into, I'd be like, fucking, okay, boring. I'd walk back out, and I don't think I'd tell anybody for the rest of my life.

I don't know, I found a portal, but it's like, it was a really boring hallway, nothing was in it. I'd board it up. A bunch of chairs. I'm not even going to investigate. I don't even care. Sucked ass, like my life,

that we did no work on in the exposition of the movie. Interesting theory is that the backrooms is the dev, like the devops. And that's actual reality, and they're creating reality outside of the backroom. So when you leave. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So they're trying to create, like, an actual, like, real place. And you wandered into the real world thinking it's the fake world. And in the real world, there's actually a little guy with a lamp that you can eat. That's cool. I was upset they didn't get actually retarded people to play the weird guys inside. The tiny little guy? The tiny little guy, I wish he was actually a retarded person.

And it made me really uncomfortable. I thought that would have been a good artistic choice. The pirate kind of looked like Scottie Pippen come to think of it. Yeah, he's trying to... He's trying to... Big spoiler, though. No, everybody knows. That's what they all know.

No, I made it already like $4 billion. Oh, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Backrooms, too. This time the wallpaper's green. That'll be crazy. That I would like. Hallway empty still.

Devin, the stop sign was backwards. Stop signs backwards. Wild stuff. It's a drawing of a dog, dad. Fucking wild. It actually made me be like, oh, man, the new generation's boring and shit. Like, these guys are crazy at all. Yeah, I thought it was a really good idea, and I thought it was fine enough.

It was just clearly the guy didn't, shouldn't have been directing the movie. I thought it was fine, too. I didn't hate it, hate it. You hated it. You hated it. You were defied it. You got fad. I would never want to watch that movie again.

I would never want to watch that movie. You could fad. I get it. It felt like what it was. It felt like a stretched out version of a YouTube video that was like interested. When the guy walked through the wall, Devin was like, you gotta be kidding me. Like out. I know.

You're re- laughing. You're ruining a bunch of 14 year olds day. I don't even know how 14 year olds are into it. It's so slow. Did you see the fat cholo next to us when he walked through the wall? The guy goes, what the fuck? I know. And that's what we were right. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, has no one seen a fucking movie before? I'm so confused. The whole movie felt very generic. Dude, this is like some fucking like room set of back there. Oh shit. So like that's like on a camcorder. That's like not. But that's so that's not being filmed by the That guy's holding a cam, Carter.

Dude, like, imagine a room that kept going, though. That's, like, fucked up, because rooms in. How do you even know where you are? Shit. No, that was my showing, too. I was surrounded by a bunch of 14-year-old Eggers just everywhere. I actually was sitting, like, at a great seat. I was surrounded by so many Eggers.

I went to the very back of the theater to just be on my phone. The movie is built for, like, you're, you're like, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. And then you're like, oh shit, Christmas tree, weird image. I'm running at the camera. Shit, what the fuck? There's like a face and shit. I don't know.

I thought the found footage stuff was good. That was fine. I was a little scared. Haven't we all seen found footage stuff before? We've never seen a movie open with a guy. It's all from the camera and then an image and then the camera falls and then the movie starts. But the rooms weren't that big. I don't know, man.

I'm so confused by it. They built it for real. Obsession kicks ass. obsession's amazing Fussion's amazing film Fuck this kid Fuck women Fuck women

Obsession rules To the misogynistic movie of the year You took the completely wrong lesson I don't give a shit about hallways No, it's scary than a hallway A woman that loves you too much

You're watching the entirety of obsession You just go this fucking bitch I got this fucking whore You naggy bitch The stupid whore Shut up Oh God Of course you're being a weird

while I pump loads into you. It would be funny. You love me all day, and then I pump my loads in you and you're a weirdo. Now you're making a weird face while I pump my shit. I love the idea of watching it.

It being like, look at this cunt pooping on the floor and pee. Fucking bitch. He fucking served me the cat, you dip shit. Why would you think I like that? Hore? Fucking weird half Mexican bitch. You guys didn't get it at all?

He just cracks beers and comes home. He's like, did you shit on the floor again? and served me the cat. I mean, I've been seeing a lot of red pill guys online being like, God, movie's just about how awful women are. That's so funny. Someone...

I saw a post where someone said the popularity of it because it beat the baby Gogrew, Grogu. Oh, Grogook. I feel so bad for Grogu. He was supposed to have a moment, and he just fell to the wind, man. Poor Grogu.

They killed Grogu. They put him down. It feels like no one cares about Grogoo. His star has fell dimly. the world of Hollywood. I just, I feel horrible for him. I know. Grogu got molested by Weinstein for nothing. Yeah, Grogu got mauged by Cain Parsons and Curry Barker. Yeah. Harvey Weinstein jerking off on Grogu in 2017. It was all for nothing. All for nothing, yeah. Someone made the argument that, like, feminists really love the movie for the lens that they

watch it through. And then Enceles love the movie. movie for the lens they watch it through and then right wing misogynist guys. Yeah. I guess liberal misogynist guys too or whatever watch it and for a different... So you're watching three completely

different movies that reinforce whatever narrative you have on the thing. And then there's people that hate it, like women like feminists that hate it because it's a misogynistic movie. Yeah, it's a rape fantasy. Yeah, exactly. If this movie dropped in 2020, it would have been like a nuclear bomb went on.

Yeah. It would have destroyed the culture for like a year. You probably right, yeah. But it came out in 26, so we can all have fun with it. It was a fun time. It was a fun time, unlike backrooms, you didn't enjoy yourself. Aren't horror movies supposed to be kind of scary? I was scared a little bit.

I was a little scared. Really? During the found footage. I'm a jumping queer in horror movies, and I was just sitting there. Like, it was the worst card trick I've ever seen. The found footage made me scared because I didn't, there was corners, and I didn't know what was around them. I'm also a big, I love horror movies and I also don't like them at the same. I hate being scared.

Me too. I don't like, I love watching a horror movie for the second time. Yeah. When I know everything that's going to happen. I don't like, I don't go alone. Yeah. I don't, I don't understand. People would be like, you should go see that.

I'm like, well, I mean, what are you talking about? And when things happen, I do look away. I look at the exit signs. I do too. I do the exact same thing. I'll pretend like I'm like looking at the wall. Like, oh, what's going on over there? When I'm with my girlfriend and I don't want to seem like a bitch, I pull my glasses down that I can't see anything.

just so it's blurry and then when I hear a quick noise then I look at it I'm not gonna get me but I watched every scene in back rooms big stupid pirate cares chewing people was kind of gay chewing people in a room

yeah I think I think the movie was actually about what it's like to be a black business owner yeah and America and no one supports your your furniture store so then you have to let you know a woman a white woman

tell you how to live so you can fall in line and be a better like a more productive member of society and then you have to whitewash your business through the use of like colonialism like myth like like lore of like pirates yeah yeah because that's what appeals to people in the West

yeah which you were taken from your own homeland and dropped here mm-hmm yeah am I wrong here or am I wrong am I wrong you're right and people weren't shopping there because he's black that is true yep yep Yep. They went in by it.

They were like, these chairs are stolen. I mean, why would they shop? The guy's sleeping in all the fucking furniture. He's sad. His eyes look sad. Stupid shoehorned,

alcoholic angle. He sucks. That was shitty-ass main character. Fucking boring main character. His wife sounded like a bitch, didn't believe him at all. Didn't care about his wife. He talks about his shitty life.

It's like for like a little bit. You don't even care. You're like, whatever. It seems like everyone's life, asshole. Fuck your back rooms. You know, and they didn't even explore it. I think he should have been, they should have gone in and he should have been raping all the things in there, all the weird guys.

Yeah. He should have been fucking their pussies and stuff. Yeah. Delated with nine eyes. Mm-hmm. Just like. Yeah, drilling holes in their head and fucking them. Yeah, just, yeah, fucking them like weird shit, like Ted Bundy type stuff.

Put one of their heads on the other, on the little guy. Fuck the guy with the beard. They ate his stomach. Fuck the stomach hole. I'd make the fact I eat the little guy. Could you do that? backrooms. Yeah, you do. You're, you're Chuitel in backrooms, but you're not even crazy.

You're, like, completely cognizant, but you're just a psychopath. So you're walking around with a gun blowing nine-headed guys' faces off and making them fuck each other at gunpoint. Shooting RPGs at... Yeah. Finding a woman who's the memory

of your wife and blowing her up with a big rocket. Yeah. Tidiman squaring, my wife. Yeah, yeah. Driving a big tank. A huge tank. Yeah, you find a in the backrooms and drive over your wife's memory. Yeah, the memory of your wife. Yeah. I would eat the bird.

Yeah, I would have fried that bird up and ate it. I would have brought a gun. I would have brought it. I don't understand why no one brought a gun in there and just shot it up. I would have been a classic American. I would have wandered into the backrooms with an air 15 and killed everybody. You find schools to shoot up in the back room. Oh, yeah.

Why can't you bring a golf cart in there? That's a good question, Ben. Or an ATV. I think the door hole... Or a four-wheeler. The door hole was small so you'd have to disassemble it on the other side. Dirt bike. Yeah. And just start running.

Like, just run over shit. No, because you can go to that invisible wall. So you can just take a dirt bike in there and just kind of... Like the pirate guy, the black guy can never catch you. I'd blow the black guy's head off with a shotgun immediately. Immediately he'd be gone. This doesn't make any sense, actually. Why didn't he go get a gun and go back into the back rooms with a gun wear a pistol?

Because he, like, loved it. He's obsessed with his own misery I didn't like the first thing he did in the back rooms was steal from it was very funny Not a great look for a black guy He stole the chair He discovers a new dimension he immediately steals from it It's the first thing he does

I'm going in there to get a cock chair Yeah Didn't take back Running back Yeah No the the mental illness thing was very shoehorn You could tell they were like Well it has to be

It has to be a higher educated That's the thing It's based on a really It's based on an extremely well made Like what eight minute YouTube video that this kid made. Yeah, like 20. That's amazing.

Yeah, 20. He's incredibly talented, but... Great Blended guy. It just felt like it wasn't a movie. It felt like a bunch of people were like, how do we make this kid make a movie? Yeah. Okay, let's hire a writer who sucks ass. All the dialogue's terrible, I thought.

How do we make any of the... How do we give, like, a meaningful storyline to, like, why this is all happening? And I just felt that was all, like, there was nothing there. Here, I got a better idea. How about Obsession 2? I get a hold of the one which willow, and I send every nuke at Israel. is that now that's not a movie you send every nuke to israel no no at i fire i go i wish every nuke was fired at once at israel and i break a thing and like submarines in the atlantic and the pacific

start firing the entire movie ends in 15 minutes yeah people are like it's peace on earth people are like of all races are holding hands like that scene in the simpsons imagine a world without lawyer so they're going singing kumbaya bad weather stops completely You nuke Israel and then like a month later, you're like, there's a bit of tornado on planet Earth in the months. All the, all the international banking systems and crime syndicates end. Yeah. Gas is suddenly free. Chicken nuggets.

No child dies of hunger. Yeah, chicken nuggets are good for you now. We're like, what the fuck were they doing? Our slop is good for us now? What the hell? The sloppy joes are full of vitamins now? What the hell were they doing? There's magnesium in the soil?

What the hell? We don't have to force-feed Mexicans tortillas with vitamins on them anymore. What was this real deal with? It's crazy. Do you believe in magic, Devin? If you did a one-wish willow, do you think it's real? No. Well, I made a bunch of jokes about being a cookhold and, like, inviting, like, black people to my house to fuck my wife.

And then, lo and behold, she's like, I'm sitting next to Scotty Pippen. Well, that's the secret. You can speak things into existence, maybe, by like... And that is the one-wish-will-though, though, really. That is the idea behind the one-wish-will-well, kind of. Well, you're kind of a human one wishwill, but your monkey's paw of it is you're kind of retarded, so you just keep making black guys fuck your wife and stuff. It's not like I want to be a billionaire. It's goddamn black magic.

Yeah. It's the occult. This voodoo. I'm hearing my wife get fucked in the other room. I go, there was a curse put on me. You go this damn candy bar. Whatever it was. Whatever it was.

It's like a stick. This damn stick I got from the novelty shop. I should have never wished that every black guy fucked my wife. And you have to kill yourself so black guys stop fucking your wife. Or she'll die. Yeah, but then you overdose on pills and then she just keeps fucking black guys, yeah. But from her own free will. Yeah.

Yeah. She's become addicted to the shit. Of her own free will. Of her own free will. Of her own free will. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, that was a great movie. Oh, man. I forgot that. Wait, should we do an ad? Yeah, we can do an ad real quick. Dude, I went to a kid's birthday party today. Oh, boy. You saw a snake.

On your own. Yeah, you left your daughter in the car. You go, no, my kid's here. Yeah. She's in the car. Look. I'm like, she's sick. She's banging on the window.

She's got a bit of a cold, so. I go, don't worry, she's got a fever. She's fine. I can leave the car. She's cold, so I'm not leaving it running. Yeah. Gas is expensive these days. Don't understand.

Don't understand how a fever works. You're like, she's cold. So she needs to be in a car that's 150 degrees. I'm a good dad. Yeah, I saw Transferry kid. You saw a transferee? Just read the ad. Okay.

Whoa, okay. And then we'll get to the transferee. Hey, guys. Transferi. Okay, you're going to make me transfurious. Yeah. About to send me through the damn route. Yeah, you say furry.

You say furry. I say furious. How about Bad Back's Furry Road? And they're all, they're all like, they have butt plugs. That's good. With, like, fox tails and stuff. Okay. And they're all gay and they're all fucking each other.

And they're all in a race to get, like, the last ticket to Comic Con or something. They're all in a race to get a bunch of C-SAM or something. Yeah, they're driving to San Diego to all fuck each other in the ass. So it's rat race, but they're trying to make it to an orgy. They're actually the last bottoms in America or somewhere, and the dead. distance and they have to find it. Everybody's a top now. Okay. Yeah. In the future, everybody's an alpha. Everybody's

an alpha furry top. So nobody wants their ass fucked. So their gasoline is bottoms. Okay. And that's who Maxes. Max is the one bottom left. He's the one power bottom. Yeah. So they chain him up to the front of a car and fuck his ass a bunch. But he has

to escape. Oh, no, the warden Joe has nine bottoms sealed up in his layer that escape. And he's chasing his bottoms down. Okay. like that. And he's watching Mad Max fuck him on the car and he's getting mad. He's going to be really pissed off. That's it. That's

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did you guys cast your vote for Nelson Chang yet who's Nelson Chang he's he ran for he's running for mayor in LA and he got last. Oh yeah he was the last he's the Roblox guy right? Yeah I'm gonna show you I Devin you gotta get your vote in if you're registered. Did this guy kill all his voters like the VT shooter? That's insane.

I know he looks like he's in the backrooms. That's crazy. What is your professional backgrounds? I am a Roebox YouTuber known as Evil Heart E. He has 47,000 subs on his YouTube. But yeah, his campaign is about making sure everyone knows he opposes Roblox, his age verification.

requirements. He's a single issue voter. I know, and his issue is being a patophile. He's like, literally, you know what these guys are? They're like, they're like Uber Eats addicts for pedophilia. They're like, I'm tired of going out to the playgrounds. I want to bring him to me. Wow.

That is an ugly guy. I didn't know Asians could look like that. That's actually crazy. I can't believe he only got like 700 votes. I know. He looks like a. walnut. He looks insane. And is a Roblox

pedophile named Evil Heartful? And he was doing Roblox like 9-11 videos and stuff? I guess. I guess. He's not even got a lot of subs. Did he have like a Oh, I have to log in to our other YouTube? Did he have like a campaign? Like can we watch some like some. Did he have a commercial or something? Let's find out. Did he make a commercial

in Roblox? What's his name again? Daniel Chang. I think his name is Nelson Chang. Nelson, what a stupid name. Nelson's perfect. Nelson Chang. Evil. heart. My name's Nelson Chang. I'm the pedophile Nelson Chang. Type in Nelson Chang.

I want to see if he actually like tried. Yeah, but I want to see a campaign video. Campaign video or him in an interview. Saying Spencer Pratt is not as good of a pedophile as he is. Here we go. There we go. Hey. Fuck yeah, dude.

Yeah, nice. Oh, he's actually. He's on the news. Turn it up. Turn it up. All right. Turn it up. Good call on that, Devin.

I didn't think. Oh, well, he'd be, come on. He's ambitious. His familiar political names. Even a reality TV star, one candidate, here he is, he's trying to break through as a true outsider running a grassroots campaign. Nelson Chang is a YouTube streamer who says the current system is broken and failing and Angelinos and Nelson Chang joined this here in the Fox 11 studios in love. Dude, this is...

Yeah! Uh! Uh! Slow motion for me. It's a parade in my city, yeah. Failing Angelinos and Nelson Chang joined. here in the Fox 11th student. Look at him. He doesn't know how to do this.

God. He looks like he was left on multiple sides of his head alone as a baby. Like they neglected him perfectly? Yeah, it looks like the parents came in every once in a while and be like, okay, now I'll spend a week like this. Now spend a week like this. They raised him one of those hot dog rollers to get his head perfectly fucked up in every dimension. It looks like you can buy him in the shape store.

Yeah. Have you ever seen that video of them turning like a circle inside? out. It kind of looks like halfway through that. Yeah, he, he, uh, he doesn't look like, like any shape that's ever existed. Have you seen this, have you seen the side shot of like Phineas and Ferb when that guy turns? Yeah. It's kind of, he's kind of, he's cat that same head.

He looks like, he looks like a guy. He looks like that. Yeah. In Los Angeles. Oh, shit. He doesn't know how to, he doesn't know how to do a fist pump. He's like, with all the May oral Canada. He's literally rubbing his hands like an evil pedophile. What is with his hands?

Are we making fun of a guy with some sort of weird arthritis or something? Because none of those hand gestures made any sense. I don't know. He might be... He has arthritis. How is he such good? He keeps going...

He's so good at gaming. He's like cortic. He's acting like a guy that's having, like a stroke. Yeah, the guys who get hit too hard in football and they do the arms thing. Having a seizure. Well, thank you. I like to, you know, shout out to some of my friends, you know. I might be retired.

He's just a person to run for office when he's a mayor. Hopefully you able to make some change, you know? Okay. I like, you know, I think my friends of, you know, Sammy Eaton, who actually... All right. Hold on. Hold on. I'll give up this.

He's got charisma. Kid? He's like a young Obama. By the way, what if you look it up at APEC has given him like $5 million? APEC tracer Nelson Chang. $5.8 million. Yeah. And somebody in Israel's like, well, you never know.

Just to be safe. You never know. You got to buy them early. You got to get him early. like a nice fruit from the deli oh no it's a nice green banana he's not yet yellow oh nelson do you want another million

we heard you a pedophile we love that you get a bonus you get a bonus you get a bonus for being a pedophile it's me is real hello and the reason why Sam called

eating a fool sometimes because the anniversary is literally on April 4th this is like a character they had to edit out of the master of disguise the day in a carvey movie Why does he share teeth with George Washington? What is that? I'm sorry, is he special needs? He might be.

He might be. It's why I feel a little mean. Well, if he is, shame on you, Fox 11, Los Angeles. This is not our fault. He's not mean by us, right? He put himself out there. Come on. I'm so happy that they were to get her. And I would like to thank some of my Wobox friends.

You know, mostly Dan, Halo, General Red Eyes. And my friend, my best friend, his name is Kanye Bernard, but his Rovox username is called chainsaw Jedi because he likes both chainsaw men and the Jedi The woman's face. Can I pause on the woman's face? She's terrified. I've seen women make that at a bar when they think they're about to be raped.

I've seen... Dude, I've literally walked over two women at bars because I'm like, she's about to get raped. She's horribly uncomfortable. She's covering her pussy with her hands. She's shielding herself. You hand her a note that says put the ponytail on the other shoulder and I'll say something.

Yeah, the bartender goes, he hands you a note. Like, is this guy boss? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, this is tough. And the Jedi from the Star War. He's a big fan of Star Wars. Okay, well, a lot of people are big fans of Star Wars.

Yeah. All right, let's... Just inching away. She's backing out of the frame. She's slowly pushing the chair away with your feet. Trying to not be noticed. He's got a lot of ticks. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a twitchy fuck. He is twitchy. He's right on the borderline if he might be retarded. I can't tell. But he's putting himself out there. And once again, Devin, this is not our job. This is Fox 11, Los Angeles.

Fox 11 is putting him out there. You can't do that. Yep. You can't do that for clicks if he's retarded. Yeah. That's your fault. Anyway. It's cheap broadcasting.

Exactly. It's lazy. Only we're allowed to show retards for profit. For fun and profit. You should have standards. Exactly. Because we don't. You're the news.

We're not familiar with you, Nelson. You are a UC Berkeley graduate. Oh, wow. You are, as I mentioned, a YouTube streamer. And you're also a behavioral intervention. She goes, you're also. Chinese. That's right.

I understand you're Chinese. Can you talk about that? I cannot talk about that, right? No, I'm not allowed. I told you I would not talk about being Chinese. I fucking hate Chinese people. Where do you want to start? What's a behavioral interventionist?

So, I'm behavior intervention as a API. I look at a behavior interventionist. When I do one-on-one sessions, with children with special needs and development of disabilities in a home school. And now we look bad. Now we look pretty bad. But is he doing that to molest them? He might still be a pedophile.

He might be a worst pedophile. Who knows? The only thing he's running on is... Age restrictions for Roblox. Yeah. No, not having age restrictions for Roblox. Yes, exactly. Free for all.

Oh, which is... And not having to verify your face through the... It isn't there a lot of pedophiles on Roblox? Isn't that like a thing? The whole 7-6-4 thing is through Roblox. So he's running on a pro-petophile. Hold on. We're going to figure this out.

We're going to get to the point where we go finish this video and make... brutally make money them. despite all of his tics. We're going to go back and forth of is this bad or is this good. Let's break it down. Break it down. Okay.

He, yeah, he wants to have pedophiles a lot on Roblox. Yeah. Boom, end of story. Hit it.

Bad guy. If you care about your kids, you'll let us make fun of this. Or ADHD. I have a former client. By the way, that is a smokescreen. They go,

oh, I run an orphanage for young boys. And people go, well, clearly he's not a fetish. of how good of a guy he. You know, who also said that Jerry Sundisky. Yeah, yeah, or um, um, Jared Fogel.

Uh, fucking, yeah. Bill Cosby. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson, exactly. Why can I think of the British comedian? He was like, Jimmy Saville. Jimmy Saville. It was fucking, yeah, he was raping people in wheelchairs and shit.

It was insane. He was doing like, oh, he was doing Patch Adam stuff for like children's hospital and shit. No, but behind a locked doors, he turned into the Red Dragon from Hannibal, showing them like a fucked up back tattoo and they're screaming. Like Philip Seymour Hoffman? Yeah, Jimmy Saville was insane. He was fucking like amputee nubs and shit.

But if we made fun of him when he was alive, people would have said, why are you throwing stones at this old, sweet legend? Before it all came out. Before it all came out. So that's the thing. Whenever we're making fun of somebody and it feels too far, you just know,

some stuff hasn't come out yet. 20 years from now, they might be a very known pedophile. And if it never comes out, whatever, you could just pretend that they were bad. Hey. Maybe he did some shitty stuff in his purse. personal life to people. I mean, Nelson seems like a decent guy. He went to UC Berkeley, so we do know he's pretty intelligent. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe got some cash on him. Afforded U.C. Berkeley. Yeah. His Twitch does kind of seem like he just wants to do the Heil Hitler. You can't quit. He can't quit. He can't quit. He's a PhD. I heard that he skip a grade. So right now he's an eighth grade instead of seventh grade. So I think he's probably going to graduate middle school this year. And he's my new Wolverinead. He's friend, of course. He's very nice.

He's just a little goofy sometimes and sometimes trolls me online. But it's all my... If you don't want to troll me in the comments, it's all right. Maybe like respect to Pratt or maybe Titch Shimon or whatever. Like, you know, we have a TV personality. We have a singer. And now we have a gamer. I'm trying to familiar as well.

I see. So he said his best friend is like in seventh grade. Yeah, his best friend's in seventh grade. Yeah. And he said he had a group, I think, a group of like-minded individuals. Boy. I feel like I should be able to call him something. fucked up.

You gotta check a chart. You have like a graph to see where you can call him. Yeah, I don't even know. I'm cross-referencing stuff in my head right now. Yeah. Taking off boxes trying to figure out what I call this guy. You're like, you're like Payton Manning trying to do like a play action call. Because you get to be really careful with this guy.

He's a bomb. He's a bomb. I don't know if you could diffuse. You have no idea. He's like a rush hour villain. Wipe yourself off. You're stimming. What's the movie where Dinsel Washington?

He calculates how he's going to kill everybody in the room first. Oh, the equalized. That's what I'm doing with calling this guy a slur right now. For slurs, yeah. You check your watch, you go. You go 18 slurs. And then you start a timer for some reason. You go around the room like, see.

Man. See. Shit. Uh, fuck. You got to hit this guy with some because this is evil as fuck. Yeah. He's taking advantage of people. He gets away with a lot of evil because of his temperament.

I'm getting a dark energy from this guy. I do think he's disabled, but disabled people also can be pedophiles, by the way. He graduated from UCLA Berkeley. We're supposed to pretend he's like special needs because he doesn't know how to talk to people. You're right, Ben, he might be Kaiser-Sosei for all we know. Yeah. No, dude, he was born on a giant iPad. Yeah.

His friends are apps. Yeah. And children. And actual children. Yeah. All of his friends, when he's talking to his friends, at some point they go, Just second, my mom's calling me. Yeah.

And they come back there, like, she's such a fucking bitch. He's a pedophile. He's a Chinese pedophile. He even crashes his sex drive. Hey. Right? There we go. Hey.

He's snorting rhinoceros horn to get hornier for children. He's making a big shark soup. Keep his stamina up. He enjoys little Dan Dan Dan noodles. There we go. I don't know. Let's just call him a fuck. Let's say it.

You know what? No, keep it playing. We got more and better stuff. No, no, no, fuck him. Fuck him. No, he makes me sick. He's fucking evil. He's evil.

Vicious maniac. I'm such a good person that I can't watch him anymore because he's so evil. If you're watching this guy right now and you don't think he's a vicious maniac. You're nuts. You are nuts. You're nuts. I mean, I'm uncomfortable with an adult saying they're friends with like a sixth-grade I'm a highly if an adult has Roblox, they should be in prison.

Right there. You shouldn't be doing that. You're over 25 if you have a Roblox account. You're a Patafil. You should be killed in prison. Buy the inmates. Thrown into Gin Pop. I don't know what Roblox is, but.

I think it's kind of like Minecraft, right? Like it's kids building shit. Yeah, but 764 uses that to get people to kill their parents and stuff. In six four. Seven 64. Seven six four. Seven six four. Okay.

So he's in seven, six four. established that. He might be a satanic accelerationist. He might. He is. He is. Of course, he's wearing all black. He is. We got nine more minutes left this video. I bet it gets good. You actually want to keep watching it? I mean, no, but he is. It's interesting. I'm pretty interesting. He's just going to

keep saying, I love to work with people. There's help that are hungry. I give them stil the thing. No one watches these things. I guarantee it the five-minute mark. He's like, I don't have a file. Okay. He might just release something. What does the interview look like

here? What does it look like here. But yeah, but ever since last year, it was a wildfire incident. 12 people were taken. Thousands of homes were burned down, especially during the Pacific Parasites fire. Thousands of kids this place. My friend and his mother, my friend and Kaya and his mother,

they live in West Hollywood. Their apartment were about to be burned down, almost a block away. Another friend who was with the mom. He and his mother have to evacuate, which is very devastating, you know. We covered the sunset fire. Yeah. I remember that.

I even consider him as my Warbach son. Dude, she's literally talking to him like he's retarded. She was like, yeah, we covered them. We have, we showed that on the news. Yeah, do you like the news? Yeah, bud, you're on the news right now. Yeah, bud, we're exploiting you for money. We use these for cheap clicks.

We know, um, podcasters who are really mean are going to make fun of this later. Okay, bud. All right. Now, because one of the, one of the, one of your, issues is age verification. Oh yeah. Here we go. What does that mean because people may not know. Yeah. So that he's like this is why. Yeah. He's cracking his knuckles. He's zoned in. This is his king speech now. He's locking in.

No more stutters. I have a voice. So this is actually the strict age verification of requirement that RoboX CEO David Bozowski imposed, which has been flustering a lot of people lately. So I've got to let you know. So the strict age verification requirement is basically when they have to have everyone to scan their faces in order to access the Roblox chat, the text chat and voice chat.

And you don't want that. Yeah. You don't want that. Okay, let me explain. So you can play Roblox if you don't verify who you are. This is just to communicate to strangers on the internet. Right. Which he thinks to enter the chat room. Yeah, to enter the chat room. Yeah. Or it could be him being like,

The facial scan doesn't recognize me as human, so I can't get into the chat. It thinks I'm a knuckle. They keep saying, sir, please stand farther away from the screen. All the way across the room. I'm across the room. I can't go any further. It's not the back room. Go ahead.

Yeah, the reason why we don't want that is because it's actually a main violation of the Kappa. Children Online Privacy Protection Act. This is actually very important. them because as a parent or anyone else who's like you know adult you should be concerned of your children because for those who are actually gonna play wolf locks you got to be careful I was about to say he's got a silver tongue yeah wolf in sheep's clothing right if you care about your children you should let me have sex with them yeah a little fucking trickster he's got a whole thing here silver tongue pangolin

a silver tongue pangolin a silver tongue devil or So that is a pedophile, I think, open-shut case. You got nothing, Nelson. So he says there should be no age verification because you can't trust if the picture is deleted or not. So therefore, anybody should be allowed. He doesn't even say like there should be a different type of age verification. He's like not away with it. I'm a libertarian for robots.

No rules. But he's saying it's like four children or something to protect children, but it doesn't make it. He says it's against Kappa. Yeah. The child something. I was very on the fence. The minute he started saying it was to protect children, I'm like, that is a born-in-the-blood pedophile right there. That is the shield of any pedophile in America.

He's on a Nambla blog, you know, quoting Ginsburg or something. Sure. Wait, was Ginsburg a pedophile? Yeah, I think we covered that. That Ginsburg spoke at a Nambla convention. Oh, yeah, he did. Yeah. Not a great move by Ginsburg.

Yeah, I don't know why he did that. I haven't read Ginsburg. I know you wrote Hal. Howl? And he was gay. I never read Ginsburg. Too Jewish. Never read any Ginsburg.

Beatnik stuff is trash. I don't know. Pretty of like nauseating. Yeah. Beatnik sucks. I don't care. Just enjoy your road trip. Keep it to yourself.

Did you have a good trip? Cool. Cool. That's the end. The end of the trip. Time to grow up. Oh, you met somebody to tell you about life. Who gives a shit?

You at the big Jack Airwax scroll of on the road. You're like, boring! Who gives you shit? Oh, wow. So he made it about queer stuff and free speech. Ginsburg, he joined in the 1980s and 90s, Ginsburg became an affiliated member of Nambla and openly defended the organization.

He argued that laws regarding youthful sexuality were oppressive and stated that Nambla provided a forum for illegal reform. So he's saying, gay guys who are fucking 15 year old gay guys like that type of shit that we don't count as pedophilia. It said he contributed to the pro Nambla documentary Chicken Hawk men who love boys. Boy. Yeah, that's not good.

In 1985, he said, he said, quote, I'm a member of Nambla because I love boys too. Everybody does who has a little humanity. What? Was he gay? He was just gay, yeah. Oh, so he thought it was like, yeah. Or he was at least by, I know. So he was one of those gay guys that's like, it's a cultural thing, you don't get it.

Yeah. So gay guys. It is kind of crazy. I watched Call Me By Your Name like a month ago. And I forgot it's like, it's a, bad, it's a movie about a gay statutory rapist. He's like 28 and Timothy's like 16. Great movie. But very European, you know, his parents are very free and they're like, uh, archaeologists.

And dad's probably gay. Probably gay. They live in Italy and every, you know, taking naps and enjoying great. It is the centrist-lib movie, isn't it? But it is bizarre, because if that was the opposite, if it was a 28-year-old man coming to live with a family and fucking their 16-year-old daughter. It's long scenes.

And the dad's like, I understand love. I get it. What can be more terrible than never getting raped by a man? I love that he fucked your ass by the lake. That's beautiful. You know, some people are so scared of opening themselves up, they never get molested. But yeah.

That's one of those things where you go, yeah, maybe we have been too tolerant for too long. There's some blind spots. It's one of those things where it's a community that we never wanted to have to care about anyway, so they made their own rules. Nambla. The gay community, where, like, straight people are like, I don't fucking. It's like, where gay guys are like, you have to teach young men how to be gay.

And so, you know, I look at it like. You have to teach children how to have sex. It's a cultural thing. It's like black people with dog fighting. I don't get involved. I'm not going to. It's a little too sticky. I don't, listen.

I'm not going to drive into another country and tell them how to do things. The Mexicans have cockfighting. The black people have dog fighting. Gay people have pedophilia. It's a cultural thing. Don't get me. I'm open-minded. I'm moving on.

Win and road, pal. I'm moving on. Yep. Just keeping it moving in your head. Because if you're a gay kid, I guess you're fine with being fucked. I don't fucking know. I don't know. I guess that's how you survive in this world is in your,

head you can't let there be a traffic jam and you just got to go just keep it booping yeah i can't get hyper fixated on this or it'll ruin my life there's many things in my life i've decided to not research at all until um like every time israel ever came up i was just like i don't know anything about that i refused i refused to look into it ever because the minute you did you're like oh this is um yeah same yeah now now this is hard same for me yeah but you know like i said i was at a birthday to nine-year-old israel One of the kids had the big tail. The furry tail.

Oh, let's get, forgot about this. Yeah, the furry tail. And the ears. So who are these? Fox ears, fox tail. Who are these parents? Who are these parents? Are they bleeding from the ears?

Just wandering around, walking into poles. I found the dad. Yeah. He, classic. You found him, he was fingering his ass. Yeah, listening to Terry Gross. Screly. Listening to Terry Gross fingering his ass in the kitchen.

Reading a New York Times article about how bad cock is. actually really cool. I want him guys fuck the shit out of your wife rocks. Reading an article written by Mossad to destroy American values. Who was the father of the trans furry seven-year-old? What was he doing? Fatherly things.

I'm sure he was... Yeah. What was his circumference? Four inches. He looked like a big twig man. Sure he was getting snow out of the driveway. Oh yeah, he was cleaning the gutters out of? He was on the roof. Patrick in a hole. The father of the seven-year-old transfer.

Oh, no, he's been fixing up a 67 Mustang in the garage. He's been working on it for a couple years. So what was the dad? Well, the girl's in all boys' clothes. And then I saw the ears, and I was like, okay, and I kind of, like, I'm focusing on my kids. And there was a reptile lady there that had snakes and lizards. And I was keeping an eye on her because what the fuck. Yeah, yeah.

She just brought up in a huge cooler. And there was a giant, like, boa constrictor. Was she a professional, like, the type of lady that would be on, like, Jay Leno back in the day? Or was it just a lady? Or was it just a crazy woman with a cooler full of snakes? A methadic. Like a character in prisoners. Yeah, which one was it?

She was like a haemaphrodite type. Huh? Where she's like, she's like, you know that lady comedian on YouTube who makes music out of weird stuff and like covers like weird owl type shit? That's why she loves snakes. She's like, you know, snakes can fuck themselves. They're like me. They're like hamaphrodite.

It's like I don't, I've never even looked down at my, what's in my pants. There's something slit there. There's something going on. Like a snake. thing. Like a snake thing. Like a snake thing. You know there's a slip, but you don't know where and you don't want to know.

Why would you want to know? Candace O-Wens was trans-vastigating her. Oh, okay. She was that type. Okay. She might have a thing down there. Okay. Great shape.

I mean, these snakes are heavy. Yeah, dude. Big pythons. That's crazy. Huge fuckers. I saw your baby draped at one. I was kind of like, they shouldn't let a baby that young. You're a boa constrictor.

What's going on with that? They were well fed? They eat her pussy. They're all happy. She told me the snake, the python, it was from Madagascar, she said, because they love to tell you where they're from. They're like Angelina Jolie, you know. This one's from Ecuador. This one's from Nigeria.

This snake has its papers. I rescued him from Madagascar. The snake came here in a raft with a tiger. And now he was in a big cooler. He eats one rat every two months, so it eats six rats a year. That's all it needs. And it was a big fucker. What?

That's all it needs? A snake's going to kill that. lady soon. It's hungry as shit. It was fat, actually. How? That's all they need? They have a very slow metabolism. Yeah, snakes. Fucking idiots. Fuck snakes. Ooh, no legs. Can't even enjoy meals.

Dumbass. I ate six times a year. And other than that, I just act evil. I just get fucking weirdos. So the furry dad. Oh yeah, yeah. I got to look at the dad. What's he up to?

What do you waste 75 pounds? 65 pounds? Classic just liberal dad taking a photo of the kid. How do you know his kid was trans? Was he just, was the kid just wearing an outfit? Yeah, was it an outfit or did the kid go, I'm a dog kin or something like that? They didn't introduce me with their pronouns, but it was the stranger things type of kid where they're wearing all boys' clothes and then they have a giant furry tail hanging out the back.

It was really big? Was it sewed into the pants? Or was it coming up out of the top of the pants? Like it might have been like a butt plug type thing. It looked like he went to his ex-store, bought a butt plug thing, and then cut off the butt plug and they gave it to his kid, the Velcro, to the back of the pants. Hopefully cut it off. You don't know what these lib dads sometimes? You have no idea.

Liberal dads are weird. That's insane. Lip- dads are weird. Very weird. You never know liberal dads, yeah. She likes to be plugged. You know, ever since she was little. You know, my daughter ever since round two, I realized she just loved being plugged.

Yeah, you know, I'm progressive, but I accidentally gave myself the same beliefs as like a Roman emperor from the year one. Did he say, she's a they, them, or whatever? Didn't get the pronouns. I didn't get pronouns, but I mean, giant, like, Billy Eilish, like, hoodie and, like, guy's pants. Yeah. And, like, masculine type of shoes. She's dressed like she's in the locks. The locks.

And then huge. Like, she's, like, she's, like, we're hanging with Janicus. in the 90s. And then huge fox ears and stuff. Yeah. With the huge, with the huge bushy tail.

Interesting. Which I think is just a thing. And it's a... It's a thing you're going to have to navigate specifically. It scared the hell out of me, actually. With some LA children, you're going to have to deal with that.

And you can't get too weird about it, or they'll start doing it. If you get too weird about it, then they do it as a rebellion. You're forcing them into it. No, I've thought about that. I keep having an argument with my daughter. an older version of her in my head when she's like I want to be a I want to be a turtle I want to be a I'm a dog dad I'm a guinea pig yeah and you have to go like well you know I don't agree with that because if you're like that's so fucking stupid it's like well now she's getting turtle surgery yeah she's gonna come home with a big shell grafted onto her because one of her teachers there's a new law where the teacher has to let her get the shell's surgery I don't know well in a society breaks down it might get a little crazy

easier 10 years from now. Yeah. Because it has to keep moved. The bar has to keep going. And that's the thing specifically, it's like with like the seven-year-olds type of thing. Yeah. Like you haven't even gone through just regular puberty.

Just let them dress up like, like their favorite characters on TV or animals. Everybody when you're a kid, like the guy would put a dress on or something. Like you'd be over at a female friend's house, but a dress on a girl would like wear her daddy shirt. But now people are like, well, it could be something.

And you're getting them like two in. do it. It's the kid, the kid walks out in his dad's cowboy boots and the family's like, I guess we gotta give him a six-shooter. We gotta respect what he goes. Just let him. The kid puts his dad's tie around his neck. I guess we gotta get him a job. Because he's a businessman.

He told me he's an astronaut, so I guess we gotta get him to Cape Canaveral. Oh, God. I guess he wants to be in finance. No, he told me he's Spider-Man, so we've got to put web thingies in his arms. If you're an adult person, like, do whatever the hell you want. It's just the... I think out here people are just like, they get so excited about it that they, like, push him into it for no reason. And then they see, like, you know, like, the obsession the Wright has with trans people. And then they're like...

So then they... So as a reactionary thing. So then they reactionarily muddle the, you know, the goalposts. And they act like, yeah. And they don't even care about trans people. kids, you know, and you're like, what is that? Anyway. Yeah. And then once again, you're stuck in the middle just being like, it's just,

there's some weird stuff. I don't have hate in my heart, but there's some weird stuff going on. What happened to, like, tomb boys? Well, that's, that's fine. It's a tomboy. No, that's not okay. Tomboys are, I know. Tomboys are great. Sometimes they turn out to be dykes, and other times they're just like, I just like fucking wearing hoodies and, you know, South American War Journalist jackets with patches on them. He was a good look for me. Yeah. Dikes pissed me off.

They piss you off. They piss me off sometimes, yeah. Tomboys or Dikes? Dikes. What pisses you off about dyke-ish people? They're fat. They're usually... And I don't like their vests.

Their vest piss me off. I think they have really bad taste in clothing. They dress like Justin Bieber from like 2011, which sucks ass. A lot of dykes do look like the queer eye guys just threw them into the wild. Like they just made them over. They look like they're in that. Maclemore video where it's like, I'm gonna pop some tags. Yeah, yeah.

With a fedora. In my pocket. Yeah. Yeah. They're going to like a fat guy Goodwill and getting like, getting a vest that like a 300 pound. Yeah. Like best man wore to a wedding in 2006. I'm excuse me, what did Al Capone wear?

Yeah. Do you have any of Al Capone's clothes? I don't know who that is. But I eat a sandwich named after him. Mm-hmm. Have my local sub shop. I have to order subs at my local sub shop But I have to go like

Can I get the The Luciam Can I get the big bopper? Like of course Can I get the Godfather Can I get the Dom Corleone? I'll take the two to the back of the head But yeah

Dykes piss me off They're fucking mean and shit A lot of the time And sometimes they're cool Though A lot of times they're cool Yeah yeah I'm most of them

A lot of them are very aggrins. A lot of them are very agro. We have some good lesbian fans that rule. Yeah. I'm talking about like, you know, like Harley Davidson. You're talking about some white-pillar. You mean like the ones that look like if Mike Dicca shaved the mustache? Yeah, yeah.

You've seen like... Rex Ryan Dykes. You've seen Dykes that look like Ving Grames. Sure. I'm walking across the street. Oh, interesting. Not even... I'm not even...

I'm not afraid. Because I think they can become violent. I'm not afraid. I'll treat their big hidden tits. like a fucking punching bag. So this is another thing that pisses me off. I don't, it feels like they're concealed carrying. It is.

They are. When they duct tape their tits down. And I don't really know how to judge them accurately or decide if they have value. It's kind of like, hey, we're old enough now. Like, turn your cards over. We're far enough into the game in the casino. I want to see what you got in the deck. Read them and weep.

Yeah, read them and weep. How about that? The river has been turned. You're in your 40s now. let's see what you're, let's see what you're playing with. And then by the way, the one time, the one time we go to the beach and then everybody sees that you have gigantic tits and everybody's like, what the hell, stop acting like that's weird that we're reacting like that.

That's my one problem. When you take the duct tape off. When you take the duct tape off and you have like G cups, everybody's like, what the fuck? Don't act like that's weird. We didn't know you had fucking huge tits, all right? Exactly. Let us stare for one day and talk about it a little bit and go jerk off later.

Yes. Yeah. No, it's strange. Don't be a dick. It's a shocking. It's just a little shocking. Let me be a little shock. Yeah.

They beat the shit out of each other. Highest rate of domestic abuse, higher than the police. So they beat the fuck out of each other. So they're mean. I'm not wrong about that. But they're bad at it. Yeah. They're bad at what?

Being the fuck out of each other. I guess so, because I've never heard of one dying. Yeah. I've never heard of two. Lesbians get in duels all the time. Where it's like the okay corral. They just get scratched up. It's two cats.

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm saying there's no fist going through drywall. No. No. They might try. I think they fight each other a lot because one of them is like, well, I'm the man, so I have to fucking punch this bitch out. That's what men do or something.

I think that's the reason they dress bad, too, because they're like, why I have to dress like a man. But their idea of a man is, like, literally a guy who dresses like a magician. Yeah. I mean, it's so funny to be a woman and just, like, shave your head and dress up like a blackjack dealer. Like, is that not funny? It is pretty funny. Am I not supposed to pretend that's funny?

Yeah, they're like... You're like a blackjack dealer who loves motorcycles. Are you a lesbian or do you work at the Riverwalk? Excuse me. Are you a valet in your own home? Is your shift at Treasure Island starting soon? Or are you eating pussy tonight? Do you eat pussy or can you tell me where the Buga-Dabobo is?

Are you a barback? Can I get a drink from you? Or are you going to punch your wife's head in tonight? Are you going to park my car or... What do we do in here? How come you look like Joe Rogan when something is important? important. Joe Ruggling, when he has to stand behind a pedophile.

How could you? Okay, so you're an Applebee's host. Have you seen the Verizon, the dancing Verizon lesbian on Instagram? I don't think so. I think you would like her. I think that would change a lot of your opinions for you. I don't have her on tap, but there is a woman. I don't have Instagram on my phone.

I'm looking at. Find it real quick. Yeah, Cricket Wireless Lady, probably. Lesbian Cricket Wireless Lady. Yeah, doesn't she look like Kevin Bacon or something? Yeah, there she does. Yeah. I love her.

Oh, wow. Yeah. I like her dances. They make me happy. Yeah, this is just Monarch program shit. I mean, she got, like, molested into oblivion, and now she just dances in front of a cell phone that she sells to black people. She's having fun.

This is, she lives in the darkest, deepest pits of hell. Maybe she just likes dancing. She's having a good time? She was, like, cut out of Spawn. Yeah. Oh, what, she's the sister of the clown in Spawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That they cut out.

The test audiences didn't like her. They thought she was too evil. I think she looks cool. It was the 90s. They weren't ready. They weren't ready for a dancing lesbian. She kind of looks like the mad TV head, that floating head. I just also like that she's also kind of a wig or too.

Well, yeah, she works out of cricket wireless, so, I mean, I'm sure there's, she's next to a massage parlor and the 24-hour donut shop. She's always wearing like a white geashog. Tropical fish store that you can't understand why people spend so much money at. Does anyone point out that cricket wireless is almost a slur? Yeah. I think that's why they named it.

I legitimately think that's why they named it. They literally probably tried to pat in moon cricket. It's phones for people that are close to eating crickets. Because they have no money. Of course. Yeah. I thought it was the smoke detector going off. Like a chirk.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. That even hit me. Chirp. God, I'm an idiot. Devin, well, you know, you weren't born into the racism. We were. Look at her.

Oh, shit. Here we go again. Okay, that one kind of sucks. I'm sorry, that one was kind of bad. Yeah. She looks like... She looks like... She looks like Adam Conover.

The bear? If you were like a quick, like six-shooter guy, wouldn't it feel good to shoot one very quickly through her pompadour? You could say that about any person outside at any time. No, no, through her pompadour, not even killer. Like the soprano, sure, sure, sure. Like the many saints of Newark, I would do that. I'd do that in a heartbeat, of course. It'd kick ass.

Yeah. It would kick so much ass to fire like a 3.57 right through her hair. If I was God and there were no consequences for my action, I'd shoot at her feet like I'm telling you dance. I'd make her dance. I'd go dance to your hip-hop songs, Whitey. It would be fun to throw firecrackers at her and make her do these little Justin Bieber dances. Yeah, do some boogie night shit.

Put her in a big cage. But come on, look at that. The pants. The arms. So this is it kind of what I'm struggling with when people are like, like, just let people enjoy things. Like, who cares? She's happy.

Blah, blah, blah. I'm like, but it sucks, right? Like, can't we just say something sucks? Like, isn't that why, Devin, you're here, Jace, you're here, I'm here? Yeah, but you're not like, no, the problem is that everyone wants to do something. stuff like this.

So when people, they see you making fun of that and they go, but I was about to make a video. I work at Metro PCS and I was going to dance to songs on Instagram and hope I get views. I was going to stitch it. People were like wildly upset because I made fun of like a food reviewer and the clip was like very aggressive. Like it was just a weird, weirdly based clip kind of. But like people were literally saying like, at least he's doing something. I'm like you. I'm like, the guy's literally eating food or than saying it's good.

Yeah, you also are doing. you were making so. And I'm like, at least I'm come up with a joke about the retard. It seems a little more creative. But it's amazing. People just don't want to, because then you're cutting off the route

that they want to go down to. Yeah. I mean, Instagram is like, it's mind-numbing, dude. Everyone's a creative now. Oh, yeah. There's so many, like, sketch videos that I'm like,

what's even the point of making your own version of this? Like, there's people that aren't even vaguely in comedy, and I'm like, that was pretty good. Mm-hmm. Like, everyone just turns their phone on and a guy with like a weird talent does his own, you know, POV, you at the thing and the thing, things. And you're like, that was like fine. POV, we need to stuff.

Yeah, it's like, you know, everyone is TV now. So if you start shitting on something, there people are like, but I was about to become TV. Don't fuck around with that TV. I'm video drone. I'm TV too. There's a big cassette player in my tummy. Like, I'm video drum, bitch. I kind of, I kind of like this in the fact, in how it sucks.

That's what I like about it. Oh, sure. I love stuff that sucks. This is pretty harmless to me. There's no part of me that's watching it and I'm making a big Reddit face. I'm like, no. The way she dances, though. I'm like, no, this sucks, but I kind of love it.

I mean, Ben, I completely understand. Listen, I'm on your side. I've just had to go through a lot of moments where I'm like, God damn. Like, at a certain point, I'm like, I can't believe how just dead inside everyone is. And they're just accepting of anything in front of them. So I'm like, all right, I get it. I'm not going to keep, like, screaming at the party. Yeah.

You know? But I will. Like, I can't help myself. Like, all I do is think about just ways to lampoon shitheads. Can I say that then? Do not go gentle to that good algorithm. Mm-hmm. Do not go gentle.

Oh, I won't. I won't. We can't let it wash over us like waves and give in. We have to fight it. I won't. I won't. I won't. I have to thrash about in the great gray ocean of the internet and not drown.

I just, yeah. I don't know. No one's coming to save us, but I'm not sinking. I hate the format of everything. I hate that the premise of every idea is written on the screen for the first five seconds, and then it starts, and everyone, there's just, it's everything so, it's just all on the phone, and there's no, like, I feel like if somebody made something really well made, it would get less views than the video of the sketch group that has a character that doesn't exist,

and everyone lives in Brooklyn, and they walk into a room, and somebody's messing up words. And that's like the greatest thing of all time. And then like, I feel like if, if like... Why are you calling it that? Like, if David... It's not a do not. It's a donut.

If David... Like, I'm gonna go with a thing that you guys like, if David Lynch posted like whatever his best movie was, like on Instagram, people would like immediately, like, what the fuck is this shit? And then they'd like like a sketch group that sucks ass that has a 30-second video about like, you know. Well, yeah, I mean, Lynch only has a career because Mel Brooks fought for him to have a career. So you need a...

need someone who is a genius like that to then give someone like him an off-on-guard kind of guy. A lot of that stuff is, we've talked about it before, it's always made by accident. It's like pure luck. I truly feel like, I truly feel like people are really these days because everyone has access to making anything that they want now that you're just, you don't want to reign on people's parade and make them, everyone wants to feel like they could do it too. So that's why I think we're constantly like just seeing incredibly mediocre things and being like, what happened to the paying your dues process or the,

maybe there needed to be gatekeepers that made you dance and you had to be in groundlings for 10 years? You know what I mean? Like, what happened to, like, actually having, like, a ton of skills and talent and characters that you could do and shit like that. If you get upset at somebody that you think is mediocre, then ever people jump down your neck,

it's like, well, because the people jumping down your neck are like, I like this, this gives me hope. Yeah. But that's what... I feel like I could do it too. A lot of people, like, are really into things that are boring. They listen, you know, we... Whatever.

There'll be like a podcast and we'll watch a clip and we're like, what? It's like, it's like two guys being like, yeah, I don't know, yeah, uh-huh. That's crazy. Yeah, crazy. 70,000 likes and it's a huge show and you're like, people like it because they go, I think if I got some mics, I could go, yeah, hello, yeah, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. And they, it makes them feel a part of something. But if you're on a, if they see a clip and you're making like rapid-fire jokes,

they're like, I don't know what that. Fuck these guys got fucking haters. I wouldn't do that. I can't come up with quips quickly. to make my brain hurt. Yeah, so I don't know. And I want to clarify, I don't think, I think all social media should not be,

it shouldn't be TV, it should be a freak show. That's what I like on social. When I'm on Instagram and I shouldn't be on there as much, but when I scroll and I see a guy with both of his eyes like rolled back in his head and he's got one tooth, and he pans to his grandma and she's dead. I'm like, that's the shit I love. Yeah.

So I file dancing lesbian wigger lady. under freak show for that but i i get what you mean no no i thank you for showing her i i forgot i've even seen her this is what really i mean i love stuff like this did you guys see this guy i did not what is that is the guy the toilet um nothing beat in jac do holiday and right now then what am i looking at what is this is that actual shit that he just kept shitting in the same toilet in apparently it kicked up It says landlord rents an apartment

to an Indian who never called a maintenance to tell him the toilet his clock and said he kept using it for a year this is the aftermath

I don't know I'm so sick of this shit that can't be true no I need to see evidence before I know justice for Indians I really don't care

if it's AI or not it validates my world no it's a numbers on the board keep it going keep it going because the sink the sink is too clean the sink is too clean

yeah that is true definitely that's a good point well that's because you already clean the sink maybe He has no mask on either. So you think AI generated the plastic wrapped around his shovel? No. I mean, it seems real actually.

I think literally, uh, and it might be real. I do think. Oh my God. Okay, that's probably real. He looks like a Manchester by the sea like Casey Affleck. Yeah, he's shoveling Indian ship because. of the guilt of her killing his family. Going down to the police station and grabbing a cop's gun.

Yeah, grabbing a shit out of an Indian guy's ass and trying to eat it. Wait, so I can just go home? Yes, sir, do not have to stay here. There's no crime you commit this. Okay, this is probably real. But we don't know if it's Indian. God, I would quit. Whatever life circumstance I was on, I would quit that job immediately.

If I had nine kids at home and a dollar, I'd quit. I'd be like, my kids could starve. I've read that, like, 95% of what you see on social media now is not real. So I basically believe everything is AI and nothing's real. But then walking away, and all seems... Nothing. I was going to laugh if he walks away and the camera turns out of there's nine Indian guys. That's 200 pounds off for a family.

Do you think there's coming there, too? Ben. Do I think? why I do is the sky blue is water wet some people think it is AI but they're in denial you can't tell anymore

you really don't know the reason Abilene Texas has no night anymore is so big machines can make Indian guys shitting in toilets videos yeah exactly which I'm happy oh wait wait wait wait wait what was that oh this big torta that's a 600 pound life lady

is that a real video though put it on in the reply I need that looks like the need to refresh. Palac cleanse. Palac Gril video. Yeah, I need Kirby. It's Mexico, my 600 pound life. It's bad.

My 6,100 life. But for her, it's just on the mesa, front of a space of a number. Enchante. Enorm. Disgusting.

Disgusting. Pichola. Enormy. But this is still to be far to terminate. I've seen her. She rests her tits on her lasagna. Los is disgusting.

She's like a black garfield. I love her. Can I say I love it when a really obese person gets on television and eats foods that fat cartoon characters eat? Yeah. When you see a person on my sister about life, you've seen this one before, right? More shitting videos. No, no, no, this one's real. That's not real.

That's a campy real. That can't be real. I saw this. That's campy. Remember my joke from like episode six where I said homeless people give birth to deter it's like their babies. She holds it like a baby at the end. That's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Ben, you've got, you've got. It's not real. Ben, it's not real. The poop came out too perfectly. It's not real, Ben. It's not real.

Ben, you've given your, you've given, she said it's anybody hungry. That's not real. That's not real. Ben has AI psychosis. God damn it. I asked perplexity and it said it was real. She said it was hungry.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. What if you're worth of your father while I was watching these videos? He's like posts on Facebook. Just saw a disgusting thing out of India once again.

I hate your fucking show. I hate you. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. We can't get into talking about my family, but that's got to be for Patreon now. Okay. You want to come slash them a party

because me and Jace just went on vacation with them and got back. I heard about it. Yesterday. Or Wildwig. Jace is going through right now. Yeah, we're in the Patreon now. Don't you like my chain? Now we're in the Patreon.

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I'm on some slick brick shit 2006 Mr. T diamond so bright Ain't a way you can't see the G Look I don't dance I just lean with it My piece is sick Gary Robert trying to leave with it I got that New York fit it on full suit dicky on Gucci link chain blue stones in a nigger charm now watch me do it do with no hands traps when he cran on that bezel and that band cause I'm the man I'm the man

got no wife but my chain got my girlfriend my chain my chain don't you like my chine mine young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mine and my Jacob is so fruited call me Gucci mine Gucci, my chain, my chain. Don't you like my chine mine? Y'all goochie mine and I'm popping off the chine mind. And my take a bit so fruited. Call me Gucci mine, or you call me Gucci, Gucci.