lemonparty - 205: Superstar

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

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Hello, everybody. This episode is available in video form only on X at Ben Avery's Good and Spotify if you switch over to the video tab. But feel free to rip it and put it all over YouTube. Also, please come to the Comedy Store this Friday, September 18th, 10 p.m. Tickets at Ben Avery. Live, it'll probably sell out. So get them in advance. Come hang out. We'll go eat cheeseburgers and have a good time. Thanks. Now that the Saudis are involved, you're really into golf. Yeah, it's a good sport. What are you? Like checking your email, Ben?

Yeah, because I have notes. Here we go. Have you guys seen the new RARXD girls there churning out now? No. The post is deleted. That one is, but good thing. I have another link. Whoa.

What great notes you have? So these are new RRXD girls Yeah It says shoot N words on the screen I don't give it away It's supposed to be Sorry You need to bury the lead

I'm gonna ask you guys What you want to see me shoot And everyone said niggas That's highly illegal Second most requested was in once you can Is this Is she black? No no

No that's yeah It sounds British That's like a This is Australian Come on guys What are you both high What Australia's because she's saying the N-word.

Australia, people don't have durable black people. Are you confused because it's just a woman saying the N-word on Instagram and they're all, and Instagram's like, keep it coming. Yeah, I just to see, I'm like, God, you gotta be a black woman.

I thought she might be the lightest skin black woman that ever lived. I can't tell. Yeah. Yeah, she is gone. Spike Lee has a couple of those guys in his movies. Yeah, but no, she's just in a town.

Let's see how many shots that's going to take me to shoot this motherfucker. She just does this stuff where she takes like a bunch of caffeine and stuff in her truck and she has raw autism. Okay. Mm-hmm. All right.

Right. Racist enough to not put anything Asian in my ass. Smart enough to know chemicals are the exception. Okay. So this is... Interesting. You can't even, like, other races of people, they got to catch a stray

even while you're injecting your ass with peptides. Like, while injecting your ass with peptides, you still gotta be like, and fuck Mexicans now. Well, that's the new content. All right. That's the new content.

This works on fellas, though. They love this stuff. Well, yeah, I think it's... She's drinking monster and doing pre-workout. Oh, she's cute. No, it's, I think it's the thing where women can't exist outside of somebody wanting to spray jizz on them,

even if they convince themselves they can. This woman has chosen, though, like eight-chan guys covered in calm. she wants like guys who type the N word on X all day it's the horniness of extreme sports and of like going to the gym and that with that horniness you kind of turn in

like you I don't know you're like races somehow and you drink monster energy drinks women are really just such fucking losers they have no personalities whatsoever they'll do anything to just get you to pull your bud to them they're fucking complete cut it out of the barrel losers oh you got a cow outfit

you hop around in front of your ring light, kill yourself. Well, free lens is sad. You're a misogynistic. It's so sad. Free Lindsey quit. Free, the amount of women that are such pathetic losers. Black people are trying to kill.

And you know what's funny? And they're trying to be fucked by even bigger losers. That's what I'm saying. Look at this. That's what I'm saying. She's doing this for attention. Good morning, N word. That's her being cute, Ben.

Yeah. Her goal is to have the most guys with Groyfer, Groyper Hitler profile pictures jerking off to her. Yeah. That's like she's aspiring to be an Asian person at the mole. Mm-hmm. With the N-word stuff. Like she hates Asians, but she's trying.

She's not even as cool as an Asian wigger. Can't even do it. She really wants to be an Asian guy. Devin, she's Christian, though. See the cross. Oh, of course. See the cross. Well, that's to, there's a little black guy on it.

It's actually a cross that's on fire. Maybe when she says good morning, good morning NWord, she's talking about Christ because she thinks he's black. Right, exactly. She understands that. She loves black Christ. Yeah. She's very woke. I do love the idea of some guy having to get into Christianity so he can do cross burnings.

Yeah, yeah. Like he's a Reddit atheist. Just Star of David's take too long to build. So he's got to convert. Jews against blacks. Yeah, because across you, you know, you get a fucking circular saw. You do a two boards. Classic cross joint right there.

get a wedge. Two boards, one nail. Go in there. Two boards, one nail, you're scaring black people. You get them for free. You get the crosses for free. You can burn them. You don't have to make your own.

Of course. From the government. Now, this is good for them, right? For archery or soy face? I think this is for people that want to fuck Skyrim characters and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. It's Friday, faggots.

Fuck your goals. So if she lives in Australia, are they going to put her in Jain? I don't even think they do anything in Australia. Yeah. They're too gay to do anything to anybody. Don't you go to jail for saying the inward there? Yeah, but at the same time, they're fucking... Go into the gym, walk in, go up to the biggest boy, call him a hard R, take him home, pin each other, pay him, tell him as a good boy, breastfeed him, live happily ever after.

Interesting. Yeah. She treats the gym like it's our first day in prison. that's a weird one yeah this is we used to have a a richer culture in terms of the raw x d girl like you know the the scenes

the scene girl and shit with the rag remember that they had like raccoon rainbow hair remember that stuff yeah the emo girls and they would be like but they could be like oh I'm a little emotional now because our culture's folded in on itself so much to be emo you also have to say the N word and appeal to retarded people who are very comy.

Yeah. It kind of feels like that a cartoon that's been going around of like, it's the two boys sitting at the table and their mom gives them nuts. I haven't seen that. And the one in their older, they're like in their 30s. Okay. And they go, white people really serve you nuts and act like it's peak. And the other guy goes, we fixing a flame you for this one, twin,

as they're reaching over to grab the nuts. Yeah, yeah, everybody is. That's what it feels like everybody has become now. Yeah, yeah. Everybody has a prison spotlight on them at all times. An imagined set of giant eyes of God that are watching every moment. So it has to be draped in this irony or they will burst into flames. Yeah, people desperately want to get shot while climbing the fence. Yeah.

In the yard. Yeah. It never happens. Yeah. So they have to apply the whole like, yeah, I say the N word. I hate Asians because she just wanted to upload a photo of her titties. She's actually laid to the party. Like that's like, you know, I think like in 2024.

But she's in the southern hemisphere, you know. Yeah, that's right. She's behind. They're ahead of the times, though. Australians live in the future. They live like a day ahead of us. Oh, that's right, Devin. They do 9-11 on 9-10.

Like, yeah, if I took a shit here, doesn't it happen in the future in Australia? Well, all of our shit goes to Australia. Right. In a big pipe. Yeah. Through the middle of the earth. I mean, I don't know. You know, that's, what is this?

What is this website? Okay, so I've been dying to show you guys this. Do you know about Seven Brew? No. So Jake was going to call into this dream about this, but there's, this is, okay, this is Seven Brew. I don't even know how to really explain this. It's like an A&W, like, milkshake shop.

This is a drive-thru coffee place, but this is the coffee. Okay. If you were transported to now, you would be like, oh, it's a milkshake store. Oh, it's a, like, you wouldn't even think. I'll take the, I'll take the neon coffee. Can I get the Matrix?

Just need a little something to start my day. I want the glow in the dark coffee. I got a night shift Can you put a glow stick in that? I want the cars to be able to see me as I wand to the side of the road. Can you give me Predator Blood? I mean, imagine it's 8 a.m.

Key lime pie lemonade. Yeah. The stuff that doesn't even have a nutrient content. They can't measure it. So, Seven Brew did a promotion where you could get a Nito if you bought like three coffees or something. A Nito?

They cost like five bucks. If you were on. What is Anita? A Nito is, they're really popular. It's like a fidget spinner kind of. It's for autistic, quote unquote, unquote, autistic people to squeeze the soft, squishy. And now they're selling it to actual radar. On the lacrosse of Southside.

So this caused like traffic jams. Like people died because everybody was in line. People were pulling their kids out of school so they could get a free Nito. Today or by them all, you may have seen some long lines leading to Seven Brew and wondered, what's the occasion? while our own Maurice Savage joins us now to tell us why so many people were lined up. Maurice. Carles will lined up at Seven Brew all morning for not just the coffee.

This is, I feel like a very racist thought. They go, give the sugary drink segment to the black guy. Give it to the black guy with the hair that you don't respect. I do like to think of myself as not a racist person. When I saw a guy on the news with that hair, I immediately wanted to start that way. It's a news story about people pouring sugar. into their lemonade. Yeah.

Give it to Tayshan. Yeah. Give it to seashell Tayshan. Yeah. We got Tayshan on the ground at Red Lobster. Talking about the new... Tashon, make sure to put extra shells in your fucking hair.

Before you put on your black suit that sucks ass. One of those fucking clams in your hair. Let's give it to Linguini, Stevens. Take your rigatoni hair down to this bullshit story. Like, over to Gologola Island. we have. Bob Marley, take it away.

Take it away. We actually, he's an anchor because he makes black people mad enough to keep watching the news. He's rage bait for the news. Yeah, I don't know. That might be a racist thing about me I didn't realize is I don't want

my newscasters need to look like Tom Broca. I mean, this guy's fine. Yeah, you are racist for that. Yeah, I might be a little racist. This guy's fine to me. It's just funny. I'm kidding. Didn't mean to throw him under the bus.

No, no, no, it's fine. That he's on the back of. The fans will. Walter Kronkite. But it's funny. Kronkite, very good, man. Very good. What did you say?

Walter Kronkite. Krookite. Because he's in old unk. That's good. We do need news that's like just onks sitting on a stoop. Yeah. Just four old black. Just talking about like bitches.

Yeah, just being like, that classy bitch, she's going to jail. And then it's just, it's an 85 minute conversation. It's like, see, when a white. bitch kills the children it's because she's sad when a fine negress does it

they call them me you get a little cabby hat and shit there's a cabby hat with another tiny cabby hat

on top of it yeah and they all got the big the big lower lips like old unks stew

and they go to see that's the thing that's the thing about the cancer case is they needed the brother on the jewelry

there's all them white folks were going to let her go he's sucking on a crab leg doing the news and I knew Mark Norman was going to tweet that hack bullshit about the hung jure I know I know he got that

the whole egg and fruit for anybody else that's the thing about Mark Norman he's just going to tweet the ladies and he's talking about black people anyway sevens rolling dice

on the news yeah or the energy drinks but one of these anito that's Anita so yeah Do you see what it is?

It's like a big blue square. It looks like a, yeah, it looks like something you fuck. It's like a pocket posty. It's like a squeegee. I'll give you a close-up of a Nito. It's a squeegee. So it's just a big foamy thing for retarded people. People are acting.

Yeah, it's just a new thing. No, but people are acting like they should get this from their health care provider because it helps with like overstimulation and stuff. Of course. That makes sense. But this is. Oversimulation, a made-up thing for the most part. It's a squishy thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you get one for free. This is it. Now, people. It's a cube. Kids? It's therapy. It's therapy for people that they hope die of diabetes.

Yeah, for human dogs. Sure. Yeah. It's dog toys for people. It's a dog toy for a person. Yeah, exactly. So they can put it between their teeth and go, it's a human dog too.

Kids better be getting two of those and titty fucking them. That's better be why they're so popular. Yeah, you can only hope. It's just not a bag of slime that you squeeze. Because they're all jacked up on seven, brew. Yeah. Yeah. Several locations around the country were participating in

in a jackpot day where with a purchase of two medium or large drinks, you'd receive a seven brew nito. Some people travel from West Salem to sit in a line to get a nito. At one point the line stretched past goodwill. The staff at seven brew said

they were only given 700 needle. We just saw Charlie Kirk and shot. We're here to celebrate the Kirk Mercery. It's Kirkmercery. We carried the flame in our needos. Can I get to Charlie Kirk carry the flame seven brew and they're parked in front of a plasma center holding their like

yeah holding their cubes they thought it was they thought it was for TVs yeah but they walked in they're like okay i guess we can give it donating blood to a tv company we're here to give our plasma to LG we heard LG listens to our our conversations we thought that was nasty them so here's our blood thank you yeah the amount of minivans in that line is very upsetting yeah well that people were pulling their kids out of school being like, guys, we hit the jack. Yeah, you're never going to believe it. If we pay $45 in sugar,

sugar water, we get a $3 bag of slime. It's crazy what the people go for. I'm sure Seven Brew's CEO was even like, what? Yeah. No, he has no idea. No, no. The Seven Brew CEO feels like the guys

are running the internment camps. He's like, yeah, sure. Sell the square full of chemicals to the retards. Give it to them with their bottle full of chemicals. Yeah. No, the Seven Brew CEO is going to have a Oscar Schindler moment of faith, like, crisis one day. Yeah.

Just holding Nito. He's like, this could have bought another life. People are eating the Nito at the end of their drink like it's a fortune cookie. Yeah, like it's cherries and a Sonic 44 ounce or, yeah. At Seven Brew said they were only given 700 needles to give away. They think it's extra drink. Running out of these just three hours into sale. Some customers.

This doesn't feel like the high school news. Yeah. When your high school had the news and they were like practicing, it is tough. Yeah, it's not good. It's not great. Yeah. I don't know what town is. It's really bad.

It's not great. Across Wisconsin, I believe. If the floor of your minivan's extra sticky, you get an extra need. Is that Wisconsin? I think it's Wisconsin. Lacrosse, yeah. Probably. They go for that sugar shit.

We stopped at the on Alaska one, but the line was a lot longer. I imagine if he takes those, uh, those viper glasses off, there's a big hole in his head where I should be. It looks like you're looking into the, the end of a double-bri-brile shot game. Yeah, I know. It looks like the Cyclops from X-Men. Like a big red beam shoots out of his hands. And then we waited for an hour.

And no need-oh. I told them and they were like, how are they already sold out knowing they're already busy, like how their business goes? Like, they're busy all the time. They should have had a little more. She's holding nine straws, by the way. Now, I did a search online,

and there are people already selling these limited-ed-ed-distance. I will say the cube's kind of big. It's huge. Sure, it's a nice cube. I kind of want one. For as much as $500. $500. The giveaway started at 7 a.m. and was scheduled to...

So apparently it turned into like a political fight in the comments too, where people were like, I want the blue one. And someone was like, I want the pink. And people were fighting being like, you're fucking live. I bet you would like the blue one, you piece of shit. Yeah, you give you kid to pink one. It was a political thing of like where you want the pink or blue. People were fighting.

Pink is less gay than the blue? For some reason, pink, I think, was more Republican. I mean, in this specific comment that I saw. I think there's MAGA people who treat the color blue like their bloods in the South Carolina. They're like literally starting at the color blue. Yeah. They see a kid holding a blue bullet and they'll pop it with a gun.

I'd been a nice seat drinking glacier phase. They're like, this guy is pushing me off. I'm gonna kill you if I see you drinking Rip Tad Rush. There's a blue fucking sky. So these, I looked into the Nito stuff. I didn't realize it was so popular. Yeah, I didn't know. It's like a Funko Pop type of thing.

Hey guys, we are back here at Fidja Headquarters and I am wearing blue so that can only mean one thing. Today is the next. So there's these YouTube channels where you know you can't monetize content for babies anymore. You can't? You can't do like GIF unwrapping videos on YouTube and make money. There's some sort of child protective thing because I think people would just put children to work essentially. Yeah, that's what they have been doing. So you can't make money on YouTube for stuff that's made for kids anymore.

But this stuff is made for adults. and it's kind of the same. Like she kind of talks like Miss Rachel almost like adult babies. Yeah, yeah. So she just, her whole thing is she just shops for like fidget spinners

and like, uh, needos. That's, the American economy is now become watching people shop for stuff. Yeah. Staying at home and watching people shop. That is our economy. People on you are going like, so they have 69.99.

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Thank you, thank you, Watt, Dora the Explorer. Wow. Thank you, Dorothy, the Explorer. Blue fidget that they have,

and again, it could be light blue, dark blue, baby blue. Whoa. Oh, my God. So these are the, right here. We are in luck because they do have blue baskets. We're in luck. We start over here at the Nitos.

I am obsessed with Nitos. Why? I already seeing this. Why? Why are you upset? Why are you obsessed with them? That's what I keep waiting. Fuck you.

I can't tell if it's a color change. Fuck you. But we're going to count it as towards our blue. Yeah, throw it in your big fucking tross. You fucking more. Fucking cut. Fucking BigTal, cites. I want to push it.

So what bad? You can have a magna. Yeah, they have the magma one. Uh-huh. Isn't that cute? Isn't that cute? You do want to show up with a gun and be like, tell me. Tell me why you like it.

Of course it lights up once I throw it in there. She's like, kiss my dad, baby. I don't find happiness in anything else. You go, thank you. Thank you. That's what I wanted here. Because you're pushing the gun into her head, like leaving a little circle imprint. Thank you.

That's all I wanted. Just be. Be honest about it. Be honest about it. Be honest. Start the videos with that. You want her to have a full meltdown in her Nissan. Yeah.

With all her little gifts and goodies. I was fed bags for 10 years. Good. Thank you. And then you hold the gun if you look at everybody else. You see that? A fucking explanation. They'll just consume blindly.

I don't care the horror you've all been through. I kind of understand the sensory thing a little bit. Like if I got to hold a shotgun I'd be like this feels really good And it makes me feel different Yeah I feel the same about a square ball of chemicals I think if I

It's a fucking street It's one of those things that everybody had We had these growing up Every kid had these things You would try to put your dick in it But it wouldn't fit Squeezes Yeah

What are those things I don't know everyone had them From the Schoactic Book Fair You push your finger And it was like a little pocket pussy We all had it But we didn't make it an identity We didn't say because we have sensory issues

I didn't think about like my depression going away as a kid because I held one though That's what I'm saying is that's what it was just like a fun thing to you'd be like Look at that. Yeah Is that really all you need to not kill yourself is that In these places yeah yeah exactly In these blazes Yeah

Where of the fucking God God for sake and land this is in Yeah In most of the cities in North America yeah Jesus Christ You're standing in like Blade Runner world You're like, we can't kill ourselves. In nine months, there's the free Nito promotion at Sheffinbrew. You get it.

Seven. I forgot it's at a fucking milkshake, neon colored coffee shop. Yeah, these people are going to church. They go, dear Lord, thank you for the Chavon Brew promotion. So I don't kill my show. They gave me a toy that's the same color as my drink. Thank you. Yeah, in 10 years, you're going to see the same lady be like, all right, guys, we're at the colored bug store.

we've got our big bug trough I love the blue bugs and it's a bunch of fucking roaches that have been sprayed with paint Chase you're damn right And they're all still kind of alive Like when people are cooking craw dads When they're cleaning them off

Devons did a big war about this bug thing You're in a war about the bug thing? No I mean it's been it's ended But it's been a never ending comment So I guess I am leading a battle on that Bugs yeah they want to see bugs They do want to see bugs I mean I'm convinced of that

Thank you end of story Take notes Connor Oh Connie Connor's an anti-bug guy. I mean, unfortunately, yeah, they've all been way too, they've all been way too mean about it. Connor's a company man, you know how he is. He's a company man, he loves the bugs. He loves the bugs, and I'm here to feed a narrative.

He's screaming right now, he's listening to this. He's like, he doesn't care that much. He's like the end of interstellar screaming through the bookcase. No! No, but I do think, yeah, they've been fucking telegraphing that whole thing for a while. Yeah, it will be the Nito bugs. It'll be slug. Bugs that you eat.

You eat the slime and the bugs and the pain. Yeah, this is a bug. I don't even know how this video is 15 minutes long. Oh, you'll find out. Our basket is... It's just her squeezing... Raman does not count because it is not over 50%. Raman.

They're selling neon ramen. The blue color and the noodleys do not count because, again, not over 50%. Unfortunately, I do not think there are any... Amped animals. So there's stores where you can just get squishy stuff. People just want to open something to. People just want to be given anything. You think that's true?

You want to open something, man. That's kind of, but that's not like babies. That's like a baby wants to open like the Amazon package. Right. And then like you, have you seen videos of someone handing a two-year-old a banana wrapped in like Christmas paper? And then they open and they get the banana

and they freak out. Yeah, yeah. Like I love bananas. The wrapping. It's why fast food is in rappers and in a box and people love to open shit. It's burger present. It's the open stuff.

You could, I think with most America, like 80% Americans, I think you could throw an open box on the ground like a cat and they would spend like three hours inside of it. They'd walk up to it, sniff it, rub their cheeks against it to get the smell on it, hop in him and sit in the big box for a couple of hours. And they go, I love you, bucks. You made me feel different for one second.

I love you, big box. You're my best friend. Yeah. I have the pea brain of a cat. Yeah. But you're all right. I think that is actually it. I think people just want.

They want to open stuff. They want something to be closed. and then through their power, they can show themselves that they can change something in their vicinity. We all have such little, truly. Truly, such little power. Yes, we all have next to nothing.

And at the end of the day, if you're gifted something and you get to have this moment, you're like, this is mine to open. People love opening things. Everyone loves the surprise of opening something because they think maybe, just maybe. Oh, yeah, that sounds a lot better for me. Yeah, you were a little low there.

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I just kind of want to get a little more context to what this, why this, yeah. This is a big YouTuber. She's 1.2, 9 million subscribers. Can I say, by the way, I think you're on to something with the opening thing. Because people also collect funco pops that they don't open. They don't open them. But they have the power to not open them. People, it's giving people a yes or a no choice once in their goddamn life.

Yes. One thing they get to choose. It's become like a nightmare to go to a Dodger game. Because of the Funko games. Because the Dodgers have done this whole thing with the bobbleheads. Every fucking day, there's a new bobblehead, every game. Yep. And there's a line of 40,000 people, you know, an hour and a half for the game to get the bobblehead.

And the people who... And they're not opening the... The bobblehead. They're immediately on Facebook marketplace. Immediately selling it. Yes. And you can spot them because they always walk up and they have like a vaguely like cummy beard and a bucket hat that's covering an exposed brain. Yes. And all they do is resell everything. Yes. I see them at stores all the time. They're all over. Yeah. Yeah. People that know about lines to get in. Yes. There's a lot of people their entire life, they know about a new line to jump in.

Mm-hmm. They're like. I think an average intelligence person knows they want to spend their whole life not being in a line. That's why we hate the DMV. You know what I mean? Like it's what we hate. There's a lot of, you know, you get the fast pass when you go to the theme part. Yeah, exactly. You pay a little extra.

Treat yourself. Because lines are traditionally a waste of your life. Life, yeah. And you'll never get back. You'll never get back. And when you die, there's nothing. And you've wasted all that time. Is it lying?

Trying to get an exclusive swatch from the swatch store in Tarzan. But a lot of people like lines because they go, hey, there might be a guy selling frozen lemonade. And I could go jump out and get the frozen lemonade, jump back. I can get enough fist fight with a mom who claimed I was never in the line in the first place And that's a whole thing to them Getting a brutal fight

It gets uploaded to Facebook I get tagged in it And in their mind They had a day as a journey for them The line, the day of the line Yeah That's all of their days That's all their days

All the days is lines I drove to this comic book store I got the exclusive Wolverine Where you can see his dick through his costume That's gonna sell for a thousand Then I drove to the flea market I got the hat with a dick and bars on it That'll sell for nine dozen

and then I got the show Hey, a tiny bobbahead. I fought a woman to death for it. And that'll sell for another $500. It's great. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even think people buy those, actually.

I just see them listed on eBay. They just listed. All the time. If you're buying that, you should kill yourself. Yeah, immediately, you got to go to jail. Speaking of going to jail, we're going to start seeing a lot more of this stuff. Because you know how war is being fought. Like, people don't even know how war is being fought now.

You see videos where guys are having to shoot drones out of this guy. Like, it's when Luke is. using the force and there's a little thing. Yeah, yeah. The police drone catching these two black ladies with their shower caps on in the parking lot running away from a CVS. Yeah, a little boots Riley deleted scene here.

Ben, the cinematography is way too good. This is so funny. And you know, by the way, the cop doesn't have to antagonize it like this. He already found them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now he's just fucking with them. The cop has those goggles on to watch your drone

and a bunch of cops around him go like, dude, dude, dude. They think it's so funny He's like buzzer Buzz her wig again I love the one take It's like the revenant It's the Routes you

It's the Ross event They're about to hide under a dead bear Yeah Do you know what they stole? Probably a bunch of Nito's Yeah there they're on the Nito run It's It's bitch Cassidy in the Sunday

I wonder what they did steal. My question is, why not just pay money for it? That's a good point. Why steal it when you can just go in and use your money to buy it? I'm white and I have a lot of money and I just buy things instead of stealing them. Why did they steal it? But why did they? Actually, I'm not kidding.

Why not just use your money to do it? They're probably just bored. Or if you're and then people go, oh, well, they're on, might say they're on welfare. You can use your welfare to buy food from the store. Make it into plates, quote unquote, and sell it on Facebook. and sell it on Facebook Marketplace, then you can go into Ross Stress for less. If you want money so bad.

And you get a much of horseshit that sucks ass. If you want money so bad, why don't you sell candy-coated watermelon on Facebook? Why don't you just, why don't you get money? Why don't you have money? You got to, you can't skip. I'm sick of this shit.

How much of that? You can't skip. We all have to get the life points, as Devin calls it. You exchange life points for bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Minos, coffee. Yeah.

Golf gloves. They're stealing just because it's like, fuck it. And I can't imagine what they're stealing. from a Ross. I mean, what do they say, like, Dr. Squatch,

like beard trimmers that are on the floor? Oh, like the bullshit that's down here. I've never seen anything at a Ross that I'm like, I can't pay for that. Yeah.

When I had nothing to my name, I'd be like, I could still, I think I could pay for them. Used underwear. Yeah. Use underwear with skid marks. Yeah.

It would be like size 17 rebocs for like $19. It's literally. They sell shoes for retarded people. For like the giant. They sell shoes that are supposed to go on the ends of canes. I make shoes. Yeah, they have like shack branded like eyeglasses.

Shoes that are supposed to go on the end of a walker. Earbuds for your dog to listen to music. I don't know. Maybe they're coming from another place. But I think it's just for the love of the game for these two ladies. But little do they know, Anderall is up their ass. So I'm ignorant of the criminal underworld. But, you know, the cops have a lot of money in some of these places and they need it to hold down the fort.

Yeah, exactly. And by hold down the fort, you mean play Fortnite on their computer? computers while one of them is shotgunning black women with a drone. Have you seen that? I kind of want to become a cop now. Is this all you do? Yeah, just to say, yeah. You're like, I didn't know you could do police brutality through the phone.

Well, they're doing like the old school, like, let's chase black people with dogs through the woods, but they're just doing it with drones now. So you can't, like, you can't, you don't know who's flying the robot. It could be a Chinese guy. Do you think the drone is barking? Yeah. They, they hold a. They hold an old Ebony magazine up to the drone so it can smell it.

And then he's going to go, and the drone is being flown by a fat Mississippi cop with like the old outfit. We got them. They ordered a water and got a come. They're in front of the Kia. They had Coke in their water cup. Oh, shit. They got to go to jail.

They're stealing the Kia, too. Well, blown to bits. They got an iPhone charger. They're stealing the Kia. I do love the videos where, like, a single mom. Oh, they paid $1 for the thing that lets you steal cars in America. They bought an iPhone charger for a dollar, and they're stealing a car out front. Yeah, every car can be stolen for $1 now because we live in a hellscape.

because the CEO of everything shit over everything and it all sucks I think all that vault seven shit will basically be like if you commit a crime or if you still a car they'll just take control over the car

and then like pull it into lock the doors and pull you into a police station and then yeah lock the doors and then let you roast like a baby and a mall parking lot turn it into a human microphone yeah they go guilty and then they go well cook her

make them look like a baby bird they go it's 1130 she'll be dead by three. We can all cut out for barbecue. You see a black woman like pounding. Yeah, me doing the monologue from the Twilight Zone. Yeah. Something like Rod Serling wrote.

Yeah. What's the one where he's in the black void and he does that one take and it's like amazing? That one actor and he's like an old timey guy and he's before the court. Oh, Burgess Meredith. Yes. Oh my God. It's the best acting I've ever seen in my life. He's getting executed for like reading books for reading the Bible.

He did so funny. Yeah, yeah. That's such a conservative. fantasy that's very funny that is it's a very 50s is like one day reading the bible will be out loud yeah rod surling was kind of close it was like one day if you're if you can read they'll kill you yeah they're like unless it's the bible you can listen to the podcast of that he's literate he might become too powerful yeah you listen to a podcast called the bible and it reads it to you but it puts sponsorships in so jesus is drinking like kFC sodas and stuff in the bible yeah he has a a

fucking like full send Celtsy. Jesus Jesus wept and then put in an Iberdecky. Yeah. He put in a fucking Lucy. Yeah, he put in a Lucy.

But if you can read, they will send, have you seen the drones they have with like the one bullet shot inside of them now? It's actually really horrifying. I saw a TED talk. I can't believe these people

are giving TED Talks, by the way. It was like a drone the size of like a large like B and it has it has one bullet on the end of it and it flies. They fly the drone into somebody's head. It's a bee gun. It's like a B gun. They fly the drone into somebody's head and the

impact of flying it into the head sets the bullet off and just like one shots them in the school. So wait, could they have killed Kirk with a like a hummingbird? I mean, there's a lot of theories. There's a lot of theories. There's a lot of theories, yeah. Could they have killed Kirk? John Cullen's whole thing before he disappeared for a while was that he was seeing birds in the air and stuff that he thought were drones. Yeah. That's true. And they might be.

There's Chinese birds. Chinese bird drones. doesn't China have like fake like birds? Yeah. Right? China got fake everything. What happened to remember the fucking balloon? Remember the Chinese balloon that we were all covering and then it kind of went away in the news? And we were like, I guess they handled that.

But like wasn't it like a Chinese balloon? I was laughing at it and people were like, people are like, this is why you got fired. You don't know we're on the precipice of World War III with China over us shooting down the Chinese spy balloon. Yeah, they don't care. We're doing the exact same thing. Yeah. Because people are like, what's the balloon? they're like, oh, it's just a camera.

They're spying on the US. Yeah, like, okay, whatever. Honestly, good for the... Who cares? By the way, what is this, like, they need... Like, they don't know what we're like. Yeah. Like, they need aerial footage of, like,

random parts of America to figure it out. Like, I don't even understand that. Like, they have... Like, they have... Like, go look at anything we're doing. Go look at the Nito videos. Yeah. You guys can't figure out how to fucking kill us.

Yeah, they're calling up... Put the poison in the Nitos. They're going up Jijie Piny and they go, so they're all retarded. We put the poison in it. They already create all the vapes everyone's using. Yeah. There was a thing when I was,

when I was selling security cameras is that a lot of, if you worked with a government contractor, you couldn't buy anything from China because they did build back ends into every piece of camera equipment. So they could hack whatever is being. And that's shit that's just getting sold to the public. Yeah. Same with like Israel and the Pagers type shit.

Yeah. Right. LG, just revealed LG is listening to people through like LG TVs. Yeah, you can take the thing at the back of the LG and listen to all recorded conversations over. Because when you talk into the remote and like it records that

and it records that and it records like 10 seconds before and after and then it keeps it. My TV's fucking like super Reddit. What a fucking world. I'll go like your fucking TV and your fucking fridge are rats. It's like the Sopranos. You got to take your fridge on a boat and shoot it. Dump it in the ocean. It's the departed. Yeah. You just throw a TV.

You find out that your frit, your best friend. By the way, it's going to be somebody's best friend. Tony's best friend. Tony's, yeah. I can't believe my fucking phrase did this to me. I used to watch

pluribus on this thing. It's unbelievable. Been ratting on me. You used to keep all my meats cold. You remember? You used to keep it the gababoo cold cold? They used to watch pluribus on this fucking thing.

You remember when I kept you when I kept you Gabbyu cold tone? Yeah, I remember one night I stood there in the kitchen I figured I ate a bunch of fucking mortadella

and I watched Killers of the Flower Moon on you. I watched the whole season of Widows Bay on you and you fucking do this. I watched Widows Bay through a series of YouTube shorts. I watched Widows Bay between what your widow's bag get more rice

from I drink from you and you betray me like this you have dreams about your fridge for the rest of your life your fridge showing up with your dreams as a big fish a gigantic eight-foot cubic fish you know I'm a rat into Trump tone right yeah the cock-sucking

motherfucker that LG that fucking Samsung get your fucking crazy Just imagine them putting like a fridge and like a concrete boot Yeah Throwing it over the side You tell your friend about it And he's like fuck that fat cock sucker

Fuck him Fuck him T You're fucking rat The fridge was a fucking rat I can't trust any of my appliances no more Can't trust a fucking thing My time I was looking at my toaster the other day You fucking crate the toasts

Oh it doesn't make things fucking black they will not erase it they will fucking woke toaster Jesus your fucking Christ Why does it make the bread wider Before they just fucking BLM toasters White bread goes in Black bread comes out

That's what the fucking Jews want Sounds like the government To meet town By the way By the way Remember like a month ago All the Patreon comments We're saying

LOL we're totally winning the war in Iran And you guys are fucking retarded We have We've beat them like 47 times dumbass. That's what all of our Patreon comments were saying, saying we're retarded and that we're totally winning the war in Iran. It's the most

world war wins ever in a year, isn't it? Nobody's won a war 47 times. How have we won the World War like 50 times? It's World War 12. We've won the past nine. We won the past 10 or 11. But they just keep coming back for a rematch of a war we've already won. Now, I will say can we donate one month of the Patreon money

to buy Nike earmaxes for the Houthis? just so they're swagged out. Just so they can jump a little higher. I would like to see a nice vertical on a hootie. Hey guys, we all have our vices, but what if your lip pouches didn't need nicotine? Ultra pouches get you that same rush, but in a cleaner way.

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Pre-order Brut by Sam Talent today. Did you see that guy who was, there was a potential school shooting at his child's like elementary school and he said finally his fantasy was coming true and he like posted a picture of him walking up the door with the air 15 like in his sandals

like saying that this is his fantasy that his child school is getting shot up and he's going to save. It was David Hogg his kid. David needs one every 10 years. He's like I got to get my story. Was Sandy Hook 2014?

Yeah. Or I'm sorry. Parkland was what? 20, 2015? 2015, something like that. Yeah. Emma Gonzalez probably has let herself go at this point. And I don't even want to, no disrespect to her,

she probably looks a little bit like Java the Hut. And I hope she grew that hair out for her own say. Who knows what's happened to her? I hope she, you go woke, you go broke. Last I heard. It's time to get fake tits. Last I heard she was getting drunk in New Orleans and fighting people. Yeah, Emma Gonzalez is busted now.

Emma Gonzalez officially busted. So this guy, he like hopped in his, I'm assuming, F-350 with an AR-15 and just started shooting at the other. outside of his kid's school. No, it turned out, it turned out nothing happened and he went and got his kid. I guess he walked into the building. You can't walk in with a gun.

Yeah, he walked in the building and just started shooting everybody. He walked in. Yeah, these people are doing editing. Yeah. They're imagine. They're jacking off to the idea of the idea of a terror. Of saving kids in a school shooting that they do with school shooting. Yeah.

Yeah. It's their dream. It's their dream is for there to be a match shooting. Dear Lord, please let a very lonely child at my son's school. Kill 12 to 15. 15 children who are not my son so I can show up and blow his fucking head off. And how can you blame

that guy? I don't blame him. How do you blame any? For sitting around fantasizing in his sandals. How do you blame anybody these days? Truly, I actually don't know how to blame anybody. I'm like, yeah, man, this is hard out here. Like when you see all the TikTok psychosis with Lindsay Clancy and people being like

she's innocent, you go, yeah, of course. You just kind of go. Yeah. That's actually incredibly shocking to me. But I guess it's not at the same time. Yeah, because I don't know. I only said that about the, like, how do you blame that guy? Because I go to bed and I'm like, I'll, it's the first time my life where I'm catching

myself. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Stop, scroll. Like, I'm killing myself with nonsense. Ben, we were having trouble with the equipment. Ben went outside to get like another like microphone. You pulled out your phone. I immediately heard you.

I immediately heard on your phone somebody get shot. I watched the lady kill her best friend, you know, cold blood real quick. I watched, I watched Hose Wade DePaula, the new Dodgers prospect. I was really excited about him. I watched something that I really felt good about. He stole a base, his first stolen base in the majors, and I was like, hell yeah. And then the video just changed, and it was a black woman murdering her roommate, like, in cold blood. Yeah, this was within 10 seconds.

I just heard him be like, I just heard Devin's phone be like, that's his first stolen base in the major league, folks. And then the video switched. And then I just heard like, I'll show you what I'm fucking talking about. And then a scream and then a gunshot. Yeah. Yeah. And I kept watching it, too. I knew it was, I knew it was about to happen.

And I didn't. I did it. And Jace was like, what are you watching? And I go, shut out. Shut up. No, I go, did somebody send you a video of somebody getting killed? You go, it just popped out. No, no, no, don't worry, Jess.

It just popped out. That's what my phone decided I needed to see. And I go, Jace, if I come up with something witty for this, I could get $36 at the end of the month. It's my job. It's my fucking job. Okay, Jays. Vandal makes like something. $700 fucking, like every two weeks on Twitter.

I know. You see his payouts? Well, I haven't seen his payouts, but I see him online. It's insane. My payouts are like 50 bucks. What the fuck? I get two a year, no, two a month. I get two viral tweets a month and I get about 40 to 80 bucks.

That's what I get 40 to 80. Sometimes I got like 150. If I kept up with it nonstop. Yeah, if you went to E. Miles Chong mode. Yeah. But I just, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

I get what you're saying, though, Devin, about like, how can you blame that guy for having that fantasy because at a certain point it does feel like I'm a cancer cell pointing at another cancer cell and being like how dare you be in a tumor? Like we are we are all tumor at this point. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess you're saying you can't blame the average American for being paranoid because like the entire government which we pay taxes to like fucks kids and like rapes children. Yeah. Right. Like this guy is going to kill you. He's decided about it for the wrong reasons. Yeah. But it's like I don't blame him for being prepared to find that to get that call. Because, yeah, he's being governed by people who fuck children for fun and profit.

That's literally it. They fuck children for fun and profit. And then the guy, the phone that's making him have a panic attack, the people who make all that in Silicon Valley are trying to make an AI that, like, actually does. They're actually trying to do Terminator 2 doomsday. Like, for real. Yeah. But that's why we need to look at that movie. Like, who would survive T2?

Yeah. It's the guys underground. in the desert with the guns. Yeah. They'd be fine. Rogan. No, their internet would go out and they would immediately kill their families. If they couldn't talk to perplexity for two days, they would blow their entire family's to smithereens.

They'd be like, oh, chat CBT didn't tell me I kick ass. I do love the new psychosis now where everybody who says they work in like restaurants or retail, like a customer will come in and be like, do you have this in red? And they're like, no, sorry, we don't. And then they'll go to their car and they'll come back three minutes later. And they'll go, chat GPT just said you absolutely have it in stock. You go in the back right now. You get your manager. I'm going to get you fired.

They're like, no, I promise you, we don't have it. And he goes, it says right here, Claude told me you have it. So go in the back right now. I need to speak to your manager. Hey, guess what? Hey, guess what? I think they're talking to God. Yeah.

I know. Yeah. They're like, hey, guess what? Claude just told me to wait in my car in the parking lot until you walk out late at night and rape you. Guess what hot shot? Guess what hot shot? I'm about to do one of the worst crimes in humanity to you.

Because God told me I should. Okay. So you're fucked. God told me you have it. God told me you have it. So you're going to die tonight. Yep. You're going to fucking die tonight.

Yeah. And it's their chat GPT that is scripting from text they've made with their friends. Yeah. It's like, no, you've said it before they have it. Yeah, you told the chat chabit to tell you that we had it. And then it said, we have it. You just make, it's a lie machine. So funny.

Apparently people are throwing fits at restaurants. This is what waiters are saying, like, because people are just talking to them. Yeah, like the phone is like talking for them. Like they hold the phone up in the phone. He said, no chicken nuggets on the shot. He said no honey buddy ranch, just regular ranch. I love that. Yeah.

I love people so much. I know. A fucking five mile along line for a Nito. Yeah. And people were just talking to. And people, by the way, by the way, nobody gets the Nito and they still get the drink. Did you notice that, by the way? Like, the Mexican woman named like Jesus Jesus Jesus Hernandez was like, they didn't even like have it.

Jesus Hesuits. And she was waving around. Jesus, Jesus and Hesuits. Jesus, England. Jesus American. Jesus. Mexican. Jesus Spanish.

That's right. That's right. One of them has a till day over the ass. And but she was like, we got up there and they don't have it. And she's waving nine straws in her hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She bought nine drinks for the toy. She didn't get that.

They don't even want the drink. No, they don't. want the drink. They wanted the toy. She's like, well, long are we here? I know. Do you think the average person knows we're even like at war? I don't think people care. I don't think anybody even seems to be like bombed

something and then it was over. Do you see people posting? Be like, what do these guys prizes so high? I gotta say I don't even know. I don't even care. I can't. I can't care. I'm not sure what's happening anymore. It's so unpatriotic. I literally don't know. I don't. I don't. I can't care. It all pissed me off so much. I haven't

checked. I don't watch the morning news anymore. I get on, there's no cohesion here. There's no nothing. There's no, every man for himself. I don't watch no future. I don't watch anything. What I, I, I, too, every morning I tune in and I go, I go, well, looks like Stabs, making a big run as a lib in the comedic media.

That's, I don't, I have no clue what's happening in the real world. I'll get open my Twitter on a bit. Kyle Kalinsky follow me. I go, I guess I'm on the left now. Sure. Sounds good. You're right. You make it in me, you gain a friend.

You an elephant graveyard? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yep. That is, it does feel like the news is Brian Callan's latest appearance on something. Yeah. I mean, the closest, I feel like we could get to anything. Yeah, you know, it's like, it's like, Rogan head on like a CIA guy.

Yeah. And you go, that's ridiculous. Yeah, did you see that? That's crazy. Trump is like, he's probably so. So, like the culture war is all that shit. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Because the things are too big for us to even, like, talk about and think about it anymore. Yes, it's too much. Yeah. It's too much. It's the mouthpieces for the big stuff. Yeah, yeah. That's where, we're, you know, we're going off on the. Little guy.

On the tap dancers. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Yeah. The little guy. Yeah. We always punched down. I'm all angry at the little guy.

Mm-hmm. Joe Rog. That little billionaire. God. And that El, elephant graverin man fucking going out my friends like you pissed me off pissing off does he know I've been in Austin twice

guys been going after my friends we go there all the time we keep it weird far too long guys fucking saying what does you say saw this new videos Brian redband is Paul pot the hell is this and elephant graver doesn't even do stand-up that's true yeah so fuck him

nothing he said was correct he doesn't even have also if he has done stand-up he's actually a failed bitter loser also so got you both ways A bitter failed hack. Elephant Graver doesn't even have enough narcissism to ruin everybody's night every night

in a desperate need for attention instead of fuck him. Doesn't even matter. He was getting some criticism for this recent video and it feels once again like once something is popular, everybody sets their timer and their calendar

to remind them a year from now to think it sucks and it's actually not cool anymore. 100%. And they're angry. And they're angry that he was like enough of this already also. Which we have been saying for the last five, six months

where we're like, you gotta take a bite. We're like, it starts to be, feel ridiculous. Every week there's the same video about like, you know, Burt Kreisch is flailing. But it's hard to not click. I click every time.

Like I said, it's my news. I don't wake up and learn about what's going on on the straight of Hormuz. I learn about what's going on with Hormuz Rashidi. Devin gets, that's a comedy store regular. Devin gets joke world delivered as a newspaper.

Devin walks out like Tony Supran. Man, that was a weird one to say. Oh shit. Speaking of old-timey stuff, I have one last video for us to play on this episode before we get out of here. And Devin, you are, you want me to tell people where you live. You live in the great city of Silver Lake, California.

Give the address. And, pardon me. And here we are, Devin. You have some explaining to do about your neighborhood here. Oh, is this about the fucking the change on sunset that they're going to maybe implement? What are you talking about?

I don't want to get into it. It's going to make me incredibly furious. Okay. No, no, no. We can talk about that on the Patreon, man. No, Devin, this is really great stuff. Hold on. We, I have to go here. Well, that's in Burbank. No, I know, but it's a stone's throw from you right across

the 101. Devin, this, we got to go. This is here to stay. It's a big, big deal. You have seen this? I didn't. I don't know, I kept on you. With New Deal's Prohibition Players live. This Friday from 6 to 8 p.m. Dine in an immersive world of flappers.

Speak easy secrets and prohibition era fun. Mingle with the flapper ladies, make a new friend, but don't let the detective catch you with a drink in your hand. Located in Magnolia Park, the New Deal brings nostalgic recipes, craft cocktails, and one-of-a-kind night out to Birmingham. People like,

cosplay boardwalk empire at like a Granville cafe. Yeah, and they have to serve, like, fat Mexican gropers. that have like Black Hole Sun tattoos. They have like fucking SS tattoos and they have to serve. And they go, say, Jack, what'll be now? Schleg? And they go, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

I'm gonna fucking raise Hitler from the grave and have him like. The New Deal restaurant. I don't know about that talk, Jack. I wonder if that's a real place. Is it actually a place actually called the New Deal? Oh, we're going. You get served by old-timey guys.

Oh, it's every night. Is that horseshit? And they got a common night. Of course they do. Yeah, I think it's every select nights they do. It's the new deal. Yeah, it's the new deal. The Prohibition live actors are back tonight from 7-8.

You go in and they do a little jig for you and it's why it's only. I don't see what's wrong. Black guy walks in. They go, yeah. They go, not that type of jig. They had no people of color in the promotion. Yeah, they're not coming to the 30s night. Well, they were, yeah, yeah.

That's their drive. driver. It's the new deal. It's bad. The new deal at Burbank. Wow. Let's go. Let's go.

Sing. I also like how it's so unsufferable. They know it sucks so much ass. They do it from seven to eight every night. They do it for one hour. We have to go. We all should dress up like fedora guys and go to it. Yeah.

You know what? I got to say in a weird way. It's actually, it's kind of, isn't it like, doesn't it like remind you of like 2014? Yeah, it's very, yeah, it's a bygone time. Yeah. I don't think this actually sucks ass. I would love to have dinner here.

And eat like a fucking pig, by the way. Sure, of course. Where the actors are disgusted. They're forgetting lines. I'm, I have my suspenders hanging off my pants where people are tripping on them. I just let the loops touch the floor. They go, say, boy, slow down.

I haven't seen somebody do the jitterbug that. You go, wretch. I've covered, I've covered. to so much food that flies are sticking to me and then they can't take off again. They go, sorry, sir, what did you say? You go, br-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. There's a bird. I'm eating outside.

There's a bird that lands on my head, and I'm feeding it. A bird lands on your head. You take two buns and you catch the bird with it. You, like, catch it with both your hands and start eating the bird. Devin, you're not dying to go. I can't wait to go. I'm excited. There's the preacher that says the N-word, too, but.

Oh, yeah, he says him all the time. I saw that crap in this church who came here. He didn't have two pennies to rub together. I don't know if he had two pairs of underwear. That niggas was so polled in the family. That nigga was so polled. Why does he say it like it feels like it's racist? You know what I mean?

Yeah, I think it is a little bit, this preacher. But it technically can't be racist because that word is only used to oppress him. He's allowed to say that shit. No, he is. It's just crazy. But it doesn't, doesn't not feel like he says it whitely? Yeah. Well, yeah, that's just because he's doing the pre-like he's a, he's got a suit on and he's being a preacher.

I think it's more, it's not the way he says it. I think it's more the frequency that he says it with. Can you play it a little longer? I don't know a rap song saying it a lot. I don't think he had two pairs of underwear. That's how poe that nigger was. He does actually say quite a bit. It's every other said it.

Keep going a little bit. He was living in somebody else's house. He didn't have a house of his own, apartment of his own. So I took the nigger in. He knows what he's done. He's a pro. He knows what he's a fucking pro. He knows exactly what works on social media.

He knows exactly, yeah. He's the most plugged in, like, old dunk guy of all time. He's working the algorithm well. His mic is fucking huge, too. That nigger for 23 years, eight in this church. He's talking about Jesus. So they hung that boop. They hung that boop on a boop cross.

That boop, Judas sold that boop out. But that... That boop rose again. Sold out by a Jewish boop. That Y.N. move that rock. That Y. N. The father, the son, and the boop. You think a brother can't move a rock? Oh, he moved the rock out front of the motherfucking cave.

He used to move fucking rocks day to day. This Y, N, he smoked a rock. That's how he got out of that cave. He got past the rock, smoked the rock. He rolled the rock away. Mm-hmm. Jesus, he was dead for three days. And then the fentanyl saved that. Boop.

They got to Fentonoff from Kensington. He done shit as draws. You know what I got to find that real quick before we go to the Patreon? I got to find if Otlo Worldwide has gone off on George Floyd. Otlo Worldwide? That's his name. It's a church in Harlem. He believes that Harlem was given to him by God on like September 13th, 1993 or something.

Oh, yeah, it was. It was. I've been covering that. He's right. He hates Mom Donnie and Muslims. And he wants, I think he wants to kill all white people pretty much. Oh, okay. Black Muslim guy?

Watch out, McElmore. Free my own word, McElmore, by the way. Free McElmore. George Floyd. So he's trying to bring heaven to earth, which is, you know, that's good. We already live in heaven.

I think tomorrow. Is the same guy? This is him on George Floyd. I know what I'm talking about. Okay. It's Otlo Worldwide. Did you steal the live stream from his setup? This is why I got into streaming because of

family to the White House. Why I have, well, I know why, but I find it the most unreasonable use of time of the presidency of the United States in a real sense that you can ever find. I think tomorrow is going to be the anniversary of the day that Derek Chauvin and Derek Chauvin killed. My friend. He's doing Chappelle. Die. My friend. My friend Derek Chauvin died.

He fucking died. George Lord. In daylight and broad daylight. and full time. Let's be clear. Derek Chauvin murdered George Floyd. Let's be clear. Oh, so he believes that. But we also need to be clear that George Floyd was no angel.

George Floyd was no saint. George Floyd was, and he had a right to live. I don't care if he was the lowest life. Well, he's not saying anything that crazy. No, he's not. Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Yeah, let him look good.

The life that he was living as a drug deal. a drug user, small-time hustler, did not warrant that he should die. And Derek Chauvin did not have the authority of the jurisdiction to take his life. George Law was murdered. I've just watched this guy with cocaine, getting run up by the vice behind him.

Let's also be true. You see Louis G. Mangione pop out of a truck. There's two sides of the story, and that takes two to tangy. He's kind of just walking the road here. You know, he's walking that, that thin line. Seems like this guy, his radio show seems like it would be a Greek chorus in a Spike Lee movie. Like throughout the movie, they would keep cutting back to him.

Going brothers, brothers. Doing the radio show for a long day. Brothers, we got to stick together. This is kind of amazing. He says LeBron James and Michael Jordan don't want to live in the same neighborhood as George Floyd. He's completely correct. Okay, you got to click on that. This guy's the most correct guy I've ever heard talk.

Today, all the weekend, regarding. the hypocritical mind of the of the black man. He really is in deep trouble. He doesn't understand himself black athletes. For instance, when you look at people like Why does he have a little bubble of a tiny black

ate eating cereal in the corner? I don't know. So awesome. He's just like the Mator D at Red Lobster. What is that? He's got like fucking Christian Rock's like fetal alcohol syndrome child eating cereal in the corner

of his video. And a little utero. bubble. He's like Morpheus is Butler. Your pills, Mr. Morpheus. Look at all the

boycotts that are going on now. And he's, every day, he's trying, he's desperately trying to not have to buy a Sunday best. Like, he doesn't want to get a new vest.

Like, he's getting so bad and he's about to pop through. No, no. I got to say. His wife stretches that out with like a shoehorn, a vest horn.

So his stuff, his stuff, his later stuff, his later work, he's really kind of come to his own as of recently. Okay. We were watching his early shit. Somebody said to me that if Jesus is black, heaven is a ghetto. Everywhere black people live in a damn ghetto. Why should I be yelling at the white man?

Hell, wasn't for him. We'd all probably be dead from diseases and sickness. The hell we'd each other. Wasn't for the white man. White man built America. You say, the slave built America. Don't they cover that line. I'll slap the taste out of your mouth.

He ain't built nothing. half the time what you did deal as a slave, the white men had to whip your ass with a whoop. Oh, my God. Okay, now that's, all right. I'm thinking about going back to church. Yeah. It's reminds me of my child that it's very funny that you can,

like any YouTube channel in the world, you can click on five years ago, and they're like saying something sensible, and then click on a video today, and they're like, and the black people will burn for a thousand times. Thousand years. Yeah, this stuff's pretty,

this is kind of his bread and butter now. Somebody need to tell these niggas to get a job. Get off government welfare. Get off these damn government. I see these niggas. These niggas. So now he's kind of leaning into the comedic performance of it because he knows it's doing well in the algorithm.

He looks like he works at the Trader Joe's in Harlem. That's his conversation. He's like, do you see what these in words are doing at the show? No, we're all out of dunkers. What the fuck out of here? Get your black ass out of your order. You want a cookie that perfectly dips inside your damn cup? Hey, pull your pants up and do your damn job.

This is trading for white people. I hate seeing my kind here. He kind of looks a bit like our granddaddy a little bit. Yeah, he went to jail too, by the way. For what? I think he was a drug dealer. I heard him tell a lot of stories about Dylan weed and stuff. Somebody said to me that if Jesus is black,

Heaven is a ghetto. Oh, yeah. You too fucked up there. I think they were trying to play an act because I'm not signed it. As a young man, 29 years old, I was impressed with the Muslims when I was in jail. So when I realized I need to pray, I said, well, let me go Islam. And as much as it pains me to say this, I bowed down and I prayed to Allah, Allah, al-A-A-A-A-A-Bah. That pains me to have to say it.

And I want to say I am wearing the yellow shirt that Joe Rogan wore. burn the boats and I am making a statement fuck the Rogan's fear I won that in a live auction to make fun of Joe Rogan. Me, I'm Elephant Graveyard. I'm Elephant Graveyard. I know I've seen y'all on the internet

saying Elephant Graveyard's Buck Angel and whatnot. It's me, motherfuckers. It's me, Reverend David Michael David. Whatever it is. It's true. I did it twice Damn

I put my head on the floor And I prayed Allah Akbar He kind of talks like Nothing happened of course As nothing will happen On the third night

I said well let me try my grandmama's God His name is Jesus And I call on the name of Jesus And bam The moment I call on the name of Jesus on the name of Jesus, Jesus stepped in that jail cell. As a young man. Hallelujah.

I love white people. I love white people. I love free bus rise. Rent free. There go to niggas again. Go to me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. Free bus ride. So that's it.

That's the whole, that's the whole. That's the whole clip. That's just it. Okay. Yeah. Dude, we need to get this guy and kill Tony.

This guy would crush on kill Tony. Yeah. Well, we forget that's David Lucas's dad. He goes, now pastor Manning, what are you? And he goes,

I'm a boop. And he goes, ha ha. That's right. You're one of the new stars. Give him a junk, you're a god. Yeah,

I'm a golden jackback. Give him a joke back. a junk book. If I catch you reading, I'll kill you. All right, we're gonna brand a, we're gonna brand a T into your face so people know I own you. Put a T.H. on his calf.

So if you ever try to do any other club, they'll now. You get me a call. Now if you excuse me, I've got a back alley to go wander down. Yeah, that guy does kick ass. Very good public speaker. Yeah.

Hey, he's fucking charismatic. But yeah, the algorithm gets everybody, doesn't it? He was just like, I know what gets clicks. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, other than constantly saying the N-word, I mean, he was a little crazy when he was saying black people didn't build anything,

do anything during slavery. It's a little nuts. It's a little nutty. Some would say objectively untrue. Not what I would say. I'll just say that. It is a crazy take to say slaves would be less productive if they weren't beaten.

Yeah. Which might not be true, by the way. I think that actually is true, but why should that be a point? You know what I mean? Well, I know in Guantanamo Bay and like Abu Ghraib and all that stuff that we have found we don't get good information or correct information from torture. Yeah. You actually get better stuff from like bribes and being nice to people.

Yeah, just being nice. Yeah. Giving them a cup of coffee and stuff. Yeah. So you think if we made the black slaves co-ops that they would build, they pick con a lot more? Yeah. I think if you paid, I mean, don't you get better work from people if you just pay the money? That's true up until the point you, um, threatening.

That's, that's true up until the point you're trying to kill their wife and child if they don't pick 50 pounds of cotton today. Then they work pretty hard. Yeah, maybe you're right. When you have a gun to their baby's head. No, Jay's just making a good argument for slavery, I guess. Yeah. I'm not meant productivity.

Listen, I'm just saying from an, we have to admit objectively it did make people work very hard, but it's not good also. A lot of people were nice to their slave. but a lot history didn't really talk about that most yeah most I think a lot of people did though I think most were yeah it was a different like you wouldn't look and then they turned on their friends yeah 400 years that's what that's what I give me give me give me give me give me it was only 400 years free bus ride here come to come the end one free bus ride free ride give me give me give me he hates mom don

Yeah. Hates him. Why? He thinks he's bad for black people. Yeah. Because he thinks Mom Dami is going to make New York Socialists and then black people will get even more lazy than they are now. Okay. All right.

And then I guess that will make them like steal more. I don't really know. Yeah. I don't think there's really an end game other than I get a lot of views if I call black people lazy. And I look like a catfish. if I look like a catfish you just noodleed out of mud and I call black people lazy I'll get more views The bus is already free

The subway and all that stuff is already free from what I understand Because don't people just jump the turnstile Oh yeah I mean yeah people yeah I mean black teenagers jump the turnstile Did you jump that? I think I jumped it once or twice I think I was too fat and alcoholic To really be doing that a lot of the time

When I lived in New York I thought they enforce it pretty heavily at this now Yeah this was like 10 years ago But yeah I saw a black team They just did like Neo shit through the turnstiles. They did like flips and showtime. They have like scouts at the turnstiles. Yeah.

And they'll be like, go, go, go, go. Like everybody go through. There's like a guy with like a clipboard. He's like, son, I work for the next. What's that wingspan? What I just saw there was incredible. Mr. Dolan. Why don't you come with me and Mr. Dolan?

Mr. Dolan, he just did a double front flip over the turnstole. Your size 14. What's your name? Oh, gee. Lace those up. OG one Canobe. OG anti-Kanobe. Come with me.

You're going to have a historic tip in someday. I can see it now. It was OG. He was just imagine jumping through a turnstile to get to that ball. That's why he got so much higher than everybody else. Yeah. And then coming down on a one. If you look closely, his metro card falls out of his shorts on that play.

Jumping and then imagining hitting an old woman and pushing her onto the tree dress. Now just imagine there's an Asian motherfucker in front of you. It was just standing looking at their phone. Just being Asian as fuck. So you have to kill them. Because you're a black teen. You're a super predator. I mean, player.

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