lemonparty - 209: The Brave Little Neet

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

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My dog, ma. You just miss Yoshi. I do. I also, yeah, I miss cuddling up to my fucking dog, banging my animal. Yeah. Your dog is, uh, oh, excuse me. My dog. Testing check.

What is the song? What do they actually say? Look what they done to my song. Is that what they say in that? Yeah, it's the only song I got. Devin, are you filling blue for real? No. I'm feeling,

yeah, I'm bleeding blue because of where the Dodgers being slowly fucking killed. No, put red on or these people

will fucking kill themselves. Put the red on. Put the red on in honor of RJ. Middy. Exactly. RIP to a shaky N-word. I can't believe Walter Jr. is dead.

It was a really... It ruined the game. It ruined the dog. Did he know what he did? Yeah. To the NLCS? We all were like, we all went to that bar.

I drove up early so I could watch the Dodger game with you guys. It was like a minute from opening pitch and then Devon was like, oh, RJ Middy killed himself. A minute before the game, we were like, oh, Walter Jr. is dead. And then it just kind of ruined the entire night. We couldn't stop, you know, unfortunately making jokes. We had to. We did, we did for, we literally like for like, it was like me, you and like 10 other people. We were just like.

We like spent like maybe 40 seconds being like, ah, fuck. That's horrible. And then 20 seconds of the mind they were like, how did he even do it? Was the roof full of bullet holes? Like, what did he commit? Sapuku with a crutch? And we kept joking that every time they did a pitchers meeting during the Dodger game. Yeah, 34, 34 years old, Walter Jr.

Yeah. But Dave Roberts walks out and Yamamoto's like, so do they like know a reason? They're going to the bullpen hitting the notary phone. They're like, yeah, so Walter Jr. is dead. So whatever. Just send him whoever you want. Dave Roberts did manage the game as if he didn't care, as if it really ruined his entire Because he was distracted by RJ Medi.

He was just, he just wanted to get home and like watch memorials. I can't. Sorry, I'm not really into this game. I'm thinking about RJ and breakfast. It really hit me. The RJ Medi suicide? RJ Middy, man. You do take a suicide pretty rough.

I hate suicide. Yeah. I hate it. Because listen. It's so, it's like, listen. Hey, it'll come. It'll come, homo. It's coming, faggot.

Yeah. Okay. What a narcissist. You think you want to die? You think you're not going to die? You got to get to it before death. Like you're beating something. So that sucks.

But also, that guy had a lot of help. Yeah. He was in Breaking Bad and he had crutches. Yeah. They kept him up. Mm-hmm. Why did he think? Why did he do that?

Yeah. The healthcare system, I bet he got new ones every year. Yep. Because of Obama. Obama gave RJ many new crutches. I actually don't like it because my first thought was this is going to be hard to rewatch Breaking Bad and how dare he? How dare he taint my rewatches that I do constantly? How dare he make me feel a little weirder while watching?

I already hate myself when I rewatch Breaking Bad because I'm rewatching Breaking Bad that means like I have nothing going on. Not a single thing. And now when you come on screen, I'm like, that's even worse. I'm like, oh, and he's dead. He's a child star. Yeah, dead. started filming when he was 15 Fafo

He fat, yeah that's right Benny Fafoed For some reason He fafoed He really Jewish midi I guess My favorite was that The entire time the Dodgers are sad And then Shohay's just going

Like I've only watched Better Call Saul I haven't made it I've heard great things But I haven't just I haven't made it yet I just finished season six A Better Call Saul Yeah

There was a funny death during the Dodgers. That guy that got thrown out at the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia and everybody saw his big ass crack on the... Because he falls out when they take the photos of everybody. Really?

And you can see his ass. Is this the Goliath? I heard somebody died on the Goliath. I didn't see this. But I didn't see anybody in the picture. Maybe I wasn't looking properly. So you see his ass. Wait, can you zoom in?

You see his ass there? Maybe I can find one, but that's better. I'm trying to find his big ass. Oh, I see his feet. Yeah. His feet up in the air. Here, Jay's just look, look. This looks like a fucking cartoon.

Jay, see his ass. See, David, if you zoom in, you see his ass. Yeah. That's his ass, Devin, in the shadow. Devin, it's his ass, and then it says Goliath right underneath it. Devin, look. I have it on my phone. You know what sucks?

But that's all, like, like, fucking anime cartoon shit. No, he's dead, though. He fell out of the ride. Why did they make him his final moment? Look at his... Look at his ass. You could see his full bear ass, his big bear ass. He came out of his seat with his ass out.

Yeah, with his ass out. As he was getting ricochet to his death, the roller coaster pantsed him. And then took the roller coaster pants him and then took a picture of it. One of the meanest things I've ever heard of. And underneath his big shitty ass, it says Goliath. Because that's the name of the ride. He has a tiny butt crack, too.

Yeah, that guy, tiny butt crack. That's, I hate, I didn't like, I didn't like that. I didn't like that. Fafo. That's sad. Yeah, he fafoed. Is this the footage? Yep.

You think Fafo stands for fat ass found out. Because you're an insane person. Yeah, one person was killed after falling from a roller coaster. Wait, and he died in Corn Cobb County? Yeah, he died in Cobb County at six flags. Yeah Yep He died in Corn County

He was a father At six Flans over Texas He was writing with his child That sucks man His child Mountain Dew That's like literally That's so brutal man That's so brutal man

That's so brutal man His ass is that His bad fucking ass is that That's terrible man He's dead He's dead. That's a dead man with a... That's a dead man in an orphan child.

That's so funny. You all about it is that he has two kids and no part of that hits him at all. He just thinks it's funny. Well, yeah, because if, you know, that's that... Ben is looking at that human man as like a resident evil, like, you know, like a creature. He's a polo-washed-a-house. Like, that's a worthless creature to him. Yeah.

I love this caption, by the way, it says five hours earlier. The Black guy screaming in sheer tink. Eric couldn't wait to go ride Goliath at Six Flags over Texas. Like almost him being black was the reason he fell out. By the way, look at the guy. He's a black guy. He fell on. The guy he fell on, he's like, get away from me.

Like, not even trying to help him whatsoever. Oh, wait, sorry, the guy next to him was black. That's what the guy was trying to make a point about for some reason. Sure. You die falling off a roller coaster in the internet spreads pictures of your big, giant fat mask. What a terrible. What a terrible people we all are Every one of us

Because I thought you were gonna bring up the kid in the tiger cage this week Did you see that one? I saw that guy in the UK Yeah and people were like A lot of snuff films to review I saw it on I saw it post on them red people being like Fuck this fucking piece of fucking shit And then other people are like He's doing a signal that's for like retarded sign language for retarded children

He's like a severe autism and fell into the cage And now he's dead And people were like fuck him Then I saw some other footage where, like, people, I didn't listen to it because I didn't want to, but where it was like, it was him saying, like, talking right before he, like, jumped in. Uh-huh. And people were like, he sounds so normal. Why would he do that? I don't know.

But all I saw was the first footage where the tiger kept, like, biting his back. And he kept trying to, he seemingly was, like, berating it. He was like, hey. Well, that's what he was doing. Cut that out. He was holding up one pinky, which is, like, their mentally handicapped sign language for bad. So he was trying to signal bad He just has like severe autism

Did he think it was like Tony the Tiger? I think so I think he thought it was Calvin and Hobbs Yeah It is crazy that we live in it like Yeah I don't even yeah This is brutal Should I put it on screen? No it's okay it's okay

The tiger doesn't kill him yet Okay but it's very yeah But it's biting his back and he's Yeah he's doing the autistic sign language At it you can see it for a second Is it their strength of numbers could everybody jump over in there and overpower the tiger and win? Probably.

Probably, but they're fucking cowards. Maybe if some Muslims were in the crowd. That's a good point. Maybe if some of the people that took over their fucking gungry. If that was my son, I would jump in and save my son. And I would cheer you on. I think I'd watch. I go, you got it, bud.

I think I'd stand there and go, get out of there. What are you up to? I know I'm a good guy because if you went. went in to save your son from the tiger pit, I would be shouting shoe and clapping at it. Yeah. Trying to scare it away. But I would not go in. But apparently, it really, it didn't mold them.

That's why you got to open carry. It killed him. It's why you got open carry. It mauled him. Unfortunately. You got to open carry. You got to mold them to death. You got to shoot him up to his jaw.

That doesn't matter. The people at the zoo, they fired warning shots. They didn't even shoot at the tiger. They were like, fuck this guy. Yeah. The people at the zoo were like. The tiger's still alive after a date the autistic? The tiger's alive and it's going to have a great big long life.

Yeah. It's actually doing fantastic. They literally, like, announced, like, we're not... Honestly, hey, listen, now that I know that the guy was, like, fucked up, like, it's a little more sad. Sure. But it still doesn't mean just because a rotten egg was in the crowd that the tiger deserves to die.

No, yeah, I don't think they should blow his head off. But that's what a lot of people are angry that the tiger stole out. I think you should be allowed to kill the tiger if you get in there and it comes at you. I think they should be allowed to kill it. Yeah, yeah. So we should all pretend that the tiger is, like, trained. like not attack people that fall into its cage. No, no, no. That's fair, but

like this is why if I was at the zoo and someone fell out, I would throw my gun over the fence at the guy. Right, and he would take it and kill himself. Take it and blow his brains up. I would throw my revolver over the fence. Yeah. Two, and it hits him in the head and he passes it out. Tiger picks it up and starts shooting at you.

We should do, like, school. A big silverback gorilla grabs my... Grabbs your gun. Yeah, and starts robbing the other guerrillas at the zoo. walking up like that and be like, give me all your fucking bananas.

You're like, ah, shit. I just created inner city violence. I did see people online that were upset that the tiger lived. They were like, we live in a day and age where like, we don't kill tigers over humans. And I'm like, yeah, but isn't it kind of a complicated issue

because like, don't be in there? Don't jump into the cage. That's what happens. That's what happens. So now we have to kill a beautiful tiger. I do think there should be some guy at the zoo who, sorry, there should be some guy at the zoo who like when a retarded kid falls in, a mental handicapped kid falls in. There's a creepy guy with a gun. Thank you for, yeah, thanks for. Thanks for, thanks for the Jace. You just saved us. Yeah.

I was just doing that for me. I felt bad. No, I think if like we like you just saved it. Because it is woke 2.0. Yeah, so I think I think you just got it. You got away with it. It's swinging back. You can't even host SNL anymore. They'll get you They'll get you man But they think a guy Should ride up in a motorcycle And just like blow the tiger's hat off

Or something It's kind of like a tiger with no claws or teeth Fell into the tiger cage Yeah Yeah so it's kind of like shoot it with like a sleepy dart Or something you know They fired two warning shots To like scare the tiger

And the tiger was like y'all motherfuckus tripping Yeah y'all pussy Y'all pussy's I'm about to eat this child I don't this is I've been waiting for this day My entire life I hate living here in the UK. Yeah, from the tiger's perspective, it's the best day of his entire life.

From the tiger's perspective, it's in a, it's in a fucking zoo in England. That is like, they have like Indian Hulk in a cage. The tiger is like, I hate you motherfuckers. Yeah, because the tiger's just like a guy in a room just like watching porn and eating DoorDash all day for its entire life. It was that, yeah, the video fucked me up because I was like, that is an interesting question of what you do.

First off, the tiger is more beautiful than that man. I don't agree with that. It's pretty anti-human. Devin, come on. One tiger's life is equal to one man's life. Okay, so first off, the tiger is so special that it was captured from the wild and put it in a special place to be looked at all day. So the tiger's already done that.

It's already walking around the whole day like a fucking hooker. They're like, yo, yo, sure. Oh, I love eating your bullshit food. that I want to even though I want to actually like kill people and eat them. Sure. No, it's great. And then a fucking imbecile falls in.

That's what I'm going to call. I'm going to call special needs people embassels. To be woke. To be woke. I don't know what woke 2.0 watts. Right. But to me, they're buffoons. You're going out. That's what they call. You're going so bad.

They call a mentally handicapped person of buffoons. Something that would have been offensive in the year 1870. to call him an end of the same. No, but listen, we don't really even know. This kid seems fine to me. He seems like he has his wits about him. He seems cocky.

And he kind of seems like he seems like a misogynist. That's how I'm going to get away with everything going forward. And seems like it seems like a misogynist. Yeah. Okay. He kind of seems like he could have been the Cornell 8th. Right. And he decided to jump in and fight a tiger.

And I just don't think the tiger should be killed for that. I actually done. I'm like, I'm a little sick of seeing videos like this where it's like they ended up killing the animal. I'm like, I know, but like, if this guy is that fucked up, keep him on a leash. The tiger's been on a leash. It's whole fucking life. Yeah, like kind of, I mean, the famous, the Harambe incident where they like blew his shit, like smooth. Like, they American snipered that gorilla because a boy fell in the cage.

Yeah. And it wasn't even doing anything to it. I mean, when you look at when you think about prison, like the fact that we're paying for their life, their food, their water, their shelter. Hey, who's, who's the real person in jail, pal? And no one in prison has strips. No one in prison has stripes. No one in prison's cool to watch. That's just old-timey prisons when they had stripes.

There's not a bunch of people showing up to prisons and watching a guy just like pull drugs out of his butt cheeks. Yeah. Okay? People show up to fucking zizz to watch a tiger be like a majestic being. And then you have a fucking imbecile fall into the cage. Yeah. And we're supposed to kill this beautiful thing. Like it takes a while for them to grow and there's like they're endangered.

Right. I imagine. What if they had the complete opposite? reaction and they killed the kid with a gun. You're like, well, that's obviously not. I go, that's not good. If I was there, I go, let the tiger kill him. What are you doing?

That's obviously the move here. Yeah. No, they should have darted the tiger. You dart it. You dart it. You dart it. It sleeps. And then you pull this kid out and then he goes on to do as much as the tiger does with

its life. Yeah. My favorite is, do you remember when the Harambe thing happened? Matt Walsh went on it. Matt Walsh turned it into repubes. Republicanism that people were mad about the guerrilla getting sniped. Is this Harambe? I think it was Harambe.

And Matt Walsh was tweeting, he's like, let me spell this out for the people in the back. I would blow off every gorilla's head in order to save one human child. It's not that simple. Yeah. And then somebody replied, would you suck every gorilla's dick to save one human child? Yeah. It's a good counter.

It was good. It's a perfect mind game. It's a perfect, like, checkmate. I've trapped you in my mind cube. You're my prisoner now. Ben, what would you do with the situation? I think the policy at my zoo, which I've been trying to get alone. Right.

You got to start somewhere. You saw a human zoo in a history book and you go, okay. Of course. I need, I just need, you know, I need like 50 million. Yeah. For your zoo. It's small. It'd be a small zoo.

Right. A mom and pop zoo. Right. Mom and pop zoo. Yeah. You just have rats. You have the population of a country. country inside of it.

It's a small zoo. You have rats in one Aboriginal man. You go, come on, check it out. It's cool. We got some shit here. It's my zoo. My basic thing, the way I see it is everybody's equal. Everything's living.

I would have a real live. I would have a guy with a blunderbuss at the ready, and he just, he goes in there with a jet pack, and he flips a coin. And on one side is human, the other side is animal. and whoever gets got, because the only humane thing is, because one of them's not going to make it out alive, either the tiger or the guy.

We won't allow that. I know that's very fatalist here, but it's just kind of how I look at it. So you go and you flip it, if it lands on the guy, you know, you blow his head off. Sure. Lands on the tigers,

you blow the tiger's head off, and then you walk away. I mean, and if you kill the guy, you don't have to clean it up. Tigers are going to eat him. Right. Yeah, that is nice about the tigers. And if you kill the tiger,

you get the guy that fell in, He gets a beautiful rug that he gets to take home of them. He gets to keep it. He gets to keep it. That's true. And he can wear it too. He can do furry shit. He can fucking whack off on it.

Yeah. It takes a lot of work to make a rug. He would just take a dead tiger home and lay on it. And it would just decompose. Well, it turned to worms. It would decompose in his room. Very orangely, though. Yeah.

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I was wondering what you guys thought. What are you scrolling past? Just seeing the, seeing this is so far. Can I tell you this? Can you pause it right now? Pause it right now. Oh my God. This is the scene in Resident Evil when he's going around the corner.

Oh my God. Oh, my God. Seeing more of the fat guy as it pans up is nuts. I love to see that. That's what I'm saying. This person. It's Resident Evil when he just sees the left third of a fat guy. Imagine being so fat guy that your knees

are always behind a curtain. Right. Imagine being so fat I could tell from your your shin that you're fat. Holy shit. Yeah. I love the slow pan.

I didn't know that was a human body. That's a woman. Okay, I thought that was a guy. You should burn in hell for eternity. Scumbag, bitch. Fuck you. No, Devin's right. Fuck you.

Devin's right. You've even heard what she has to say. Who cares? She should have her tongue cut out. She should be forced to eat it before she has her head blown off. Fuck you. Fuck you. I hate you.

I hate you. Zero discipline throughout your life, you scumbag. Fuck you, asshole. Fucking asshole. I'm so sick of that shit. I'm so sick of fat people because of you. I'm so sick of these videos. It's unbelievable.

I never saw this many fat people in my fucking life until I met you. Unbelievable. You're ruining my life. I fucking hate them. Can I see what she was saying, though? I do want to... Go back. I'm sorry. Oh, you do actually want to hear what she's saying.

Yeah, I do want to hear what she's saying. Yeah, she tells us the meaning of live. I'm sure she has the cure to cancer right here. Hold on. Let's hear it. Or genuinely... Would you rather be with a woman who has subtle curves? Soutel. Or a genuinely supersized woman with a big belly, wide hips, and thick thighs.

Leave a heart for the full package. You can't die sooner. enough, bitch. She says leave a fuck off. Fuck off. Waste of space. Literal waste of gigantic amounts of space. Fuck you. Fuck you. She says leave a heart because she needs a transplant.

You know that means like there was like fucking 15 years worth of days where all you had to do was take a week. Take a week off. Take a week off from how you eat. And you don't have to end up like that. And she would still be a fucking fat, worthless idiot.

Yeah, sure. She'd still be fat as shit and disgusting and unfuckable. But she would not be that. You know how hard it is to get that way? You got to work. You have to spend a lot of time. That's wisdom. That's like so much work.

That's patience. Yeah, it's like Rocky waking up at 4 a.m. cracking 15 eggs and then just cooking them. Into an omel with like cheese, butter, ham. Yeah. Sorry. Was I too mean? No, it's fine.

We said going into this, you're you know it's drunk the dodgers loss so it's gonna be a fun not happy yeah so a lot of people say that this guy uh here this was this was an interesting thing here oh fuck them you know the um who are they fuck him who are they fuck them so these this this couple is uh i guess you want would you say polly if the wife fucks other guys but the guy doesn't fuck other guys i don't believe so no that's just a bitch everybody's been waiting for yeah this is what everybody wants to know Um, we explored polyamory a year ago. And that was really, it was an amazing experience.

We've always been the type who we know we're solid and we have so much love to give that sometimes it's one of those things where it's like adding to that is just going to be even more love. I love the fat ladies in the middle of their life like this. They love to speak in abstractions, but they act like they're these grand, big ideas. Right. But they go, the thing about these things is it's kind of like an adding to the thing, like of a thing that's outside of that thing.

They're like, what if that makes sense? What if we put, like, frosting on the cake? I have, like, a little abstract. What if we, like, pre-heated the oven? What if we, like, put it in the oven and made it warm? And then the chocolate melted on the dough. It's almost like we have too much.

I have a little abstract thought. We have too much cookie dough to bake. So we're like, what if we eat some of it raw? What if we eat it raw? Like, what if we put it in our ice cream? And we've always considered that type of couple that can just make a shake out of anything. How about this?

What if we eat ice cream before the pie comes out? No, no, by the way, this guy, he's the culprit. No, no, he's a cock loser. They have kids. They have kids. Oh, do they? Yeah, yeah. Gingerbread kids?

Fuck, I've seen a lot of theories. about this couple. What's the theories? The theories is that he is only with her because she's like a broodmare, so he pumps a kid. A broodmare? Yeah, yeah, because he basically is like, give me a bunch of kids, you can fuck however you want, I'm going to molest the family.

Oh, okay. I don't really give a shit. Oh, broodmare, of course, yeah. By the way, you remember the Detroit movie with the blind old guy and he has people trapped in his basement? Don't breathe. That's a broodmare. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Where you have someone, like a cum pit. Mark the Detroit. true. Right. Well, you just basically have someone chained up and they just keep having babies for you. Right. Right. Right. Right. But by the way, I love a marriage where the man wants to kill his wife so bad, but he simply

can't scientifically. Because every time he shoots her, it doesn't penetrate the fat. He has literally shot her 10 times and she won't die. And he can't take her hiking to push her off a cliff. She won't go. It's crazy to look like Mike Daycut and just put on the fucking... What, her? Mike, Mike think it looked much better than that.

It's just going to be even more love and even more good vibes. And everybody thinks that I like more. It's a vibe. I have a vibes-based relationship. Yeah. So she goes, everybody thinks I cheated on you. So here we go. Everybody thinks that I, like, betrayed you and cheated on you.

No, but I cheated on my diet. It wasn't like that. I mean, it was all consensual. You know, I agreed to all of it and I was good with it. and yeah. Well, and that's the difference between, like, a lot of people were asking, oh, do you guys have an open marriage?

What do you think his name is nutrition facts? She's married to nutrition facts. So I cheated on you. Yeah. It's a man named nutrition fact. This is my husband, Killijules. Yeah, I'm not only the audacity to be like, hey, I'm your big pig wife.

I'm going to go fuck other people. I'm going to make you film a video where I put online that I turned you into a cock. No, but keep watching. We're asking, oh, do you guys have an open marriage? No, we aren't open,

and we were never open. Open means both partners are sleeping and sexually active with other partners. And polyamory is everything's consensual. All parties involved have consent and agreed

to everything. They have an open bag relationship. The bag's always open and she could put her fucking greasy claws. We have so much love. We needed like a party size where it's like 30% more

for like only like you know. It's like my pussy is like the subway party sub in that there's so much of it everybody just gets some slop. Like let's say you're leaving the office. Just grab some slop. Put it on a play with some saran wrap. That's my pussy.

They were married by an in and out truck. That was the guy that did their vows. Cisco was the priest. Is Cisco. Yeah. At that wedding, it's the chicken and the fish. He goes, yeah. What is the term when you have somebody marry you?

That guy. Oh, officiant? Yeah, it isn't there like a religious, kind of like a vaguely religious term for that? I mean, like a reverend priest? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Ordained.

Yeah, a minister. Yeah. He ministered our wedding or whatever. Yeah. It's an hors d'oeuvre. Yeah. They were in a word term. I now pronounce you.

It's fried cali. Fried calamari. Deeper and deep. The fat guy at the beginning of office space. Deeper and deeper. Dries of a heart attack. Yeah. Peter, your wife is getting fatter. Fatter and fatter.

Way down. Do you take this woman for fatter or for more fatter? For really, really fatter. Super duper fat. in sickness and in really bad sickness. I still got an ad to do. Hey guys, how many pouches a day do you need to feel normal?

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after you purchased the last where you heard about them support the show and tell them lemon barter sent you uh thanks folks that's all the asses just shut up hey man we make money from this and like trying to be famous they actually all they do is carry disease they're just cattle they keep a ball in the air of disease and horror no they used to be janitors by keeping them alive they used to clean up the puke they used to clean up the piss and the poop for other people that should be killed. Kill them all. Wipe out the pukers and the cleaner uppers. And the shitters. And the shitters.

The lickers. So one thing that's been really hard for me to understand is you can't advocate for genocide on Twitter or you get banned. But I don't know if, like, every political theory seems to come back to we need to wipe out a complete, like a whole population of people. How's that possible?

Like, you're a lot, there's like a bunch of guys on Twitter name like, Wahoo, Yaha. That, like, say that they're like constantly They're just defending themselves by doing Yeah, Devin, that's comedy. It's fine. Randy Fine is saying we should genocide

like a bunch of people. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean. When I say that about the, I'm like, I just, I understand what you're saying, but like, I have a hard time being like, there's, how long do we need, does, like, religion need to baby a person?

I agree. You would, you literally wouldn't know what's good or bad without religion. Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah. Well, that makes, I mean, I'm like, you know, come on. Yeah, yeah.

As you get older, you're, realize maybe Lenin should have had hope. It's a shame he didn't have a bigger hole to put people in. Vladimir Linne. Yeah, when you're like oh, he killed 25 million. You go, fuck, I wish he got 50. Yeah, yeah. No, you do. I wish he had got 200. You're like, yeah, it's probably a good policy,

honestly. Like, you look, you look around, you're like, yeah, there's a lot of people who do need to be killed for the good of the people. That is unfortunate. To be honest. It's unfortunate. I don't think you can legally say that, though, because you're advocating for, like, mass. Listen, I would never do that unless I was given the power to without a consequence or repercussion,

then I would do it immediately. But I would never do that in this life. But there are people that it's the problem of living in a democracy, like America, like we love our freedom. We're all about freedom or the idea of it or whatever. But that means you almost create the perfect environment for the rapers to do the rape. You know what I mean? And we've become the raped country.

There's just too many people. So I guess what we have going is fine. But there's just too many people. so we'll never be able to get to what really... The best thing I ever heard, and listen, I'm going to be called Incredibly Gay for this. The best thing I ever found out about was Marxism. I saw this guy, Richard Feynman, talk about Marxism once,

and I go, that's exactly what I've always thought, but it's a childish view. I was 14 when I thought this. I didn't have a word for it. It was just like, shouldn't the whole point of life be to get to a point where everything's running perfectly enough that we all get to not have. have jobs and just think about like what we want to do with our day.

Right. And like have thoughts and go create or read or isn't that, isn't that, shouldn't that be like, why we should not be upset about like robots? Isn't the whole point like we should want them to all take over so then we don't have to go to work and then we can all like to take over? But most people have no clue. No, Devin, this is the point of life right here. Most people have.

That's the point of life. Most people have. 44 years at Walmart, you get flower. Employee Gail is going viral for being honored with just flowers at a retirement after working 44 years of Walmart. And can I say the flowers look like when you peel a bunch of cutie oranges

for breakfast and leave the peels out. Those are the flowers. That's the point of life, Devin. Yeah. Now whatever the fuck you were talking. This literally looks like she's about to be executed. Yeah, that's not the logo. This looks like she's standing in front of her execution.

There's a gigantic hammer about to swing down and get her. Yeah. This one got me. God damn Yeah Yeah She just lives

She's born in 1932 You know that line You know that line in Mad Men Where he's like That woman He's talking about a 90-year-old woman Who died He's like that woman was born

On the floor of a barn She died on the 72nd floor Of an apartment in New York City That woman was an astronaut That woman was born in a Victorian home in Beaumont, Texas. She died in a trailer park in the middle of a gator swamp. She's a miner. She's drilling into the center of the earth into hell.

I mean, that's the problem with life, is that a lot of people are born with a thirst for more. Yeah, the ravers. And many people are born quenched. Mm-hmm. And the problem is when you create a society where people can do whatever they want, you do have the psychopaths will start being psychopaths. And when you create also when we have this point system in place where it's like, you know, how well are you doing? Right. How many points do you have?

How many Dave and Buster's life points do you have, which is money? Mm-hmm. That allows for people that never want to focus on their insides or, you know, like dig deep or get, you know, internalized to live forever, never once fucking analyzing anything about who they are or what's going on or why they're here or what they actually want to do. And they can always live with this like, well, you're a loser. You don't have, I mean, you know, I love my uncle Stan, but my uncle Stan, his entire life has been based on, like, he's like, he's been like very, I've seen him be like incredibly, like, retarded. Yeah.

And like not knowledgeable about anything going on, but he walks away from situations going like, I have money and they're all fucking losers. You're fucking losers. They're fucking losers. And I watched that as a kid. I'd be like, that's so weird. Like, that guy is like really thinking, like a lot.

Just because he doesn't have, like, money. Yeah. My uncle Stan is like kind of like a piggish asshole. And like, not that. But the problem is. Like, pretty retarded about a lot of things. things is like killing it. But the problem is 60% of the money.

60% of the country agrees. They're like, that guy has more money, so he wins. It creates this game for the masses to, he wins. They're almost so retarded about life that it makes you feel like you're stupid.

Yes. He has more money, so he wins. And you're like, oh, wait, does he? Like, am I a fucking retard? And that guy kills himself. RJ Middy.

He has an example. Yeah. Archie middy is a brilliant man. Archie Middy. That was so drunk. I know you're so drunk, man. You're hammered. You're so fucking drunk.

But I knew I knew that that was stupid. But I don't think what I said before that was stupid. Are you saying that, Jay's? No, no, no, I'm not saying that. You lunch, at me? I think what I said before made sense. No, no, I think that's the problem is it's just, that's what we're saying that, like, people,

like, we're talking about the Marxism thing of, like, people kind of need to be killed. Like, that's part of the reason. honestly. Like if somebody is such a piggish oath that they have accumulated like, you know, most of the wealth and they're like, how do I get more?

I'm like, that guy needs a rod in his head, unfortunately. That's why Marxism is retarded because it's so cute. It's so cutesy. It's naive. It's like, it's like weeds in your garden. You're like, this thing is going to take up everybody's water and sunlight. Like, I have to pull it out. That's kind of, there's not even like a

judgment call. You're like, yeah, this thing is like defective. It's a cancer in humanity. It needs to be like a rod through its head immediately. Yeah. And Ben, wouldn't you want your kids to like live in a world where they were just allowed to like focus on like whatever the fuck they wanted to and think about who they were and then let that blossom and then have time to create or learn or all that shit? But they're going to be forced to do a bunch of bullshit and then on the side figured that out. I'll say this I'm gonna set my kids down when they're like six

I'm gonna tell them this I'm gonna say son you know my daughter too the right you go but my daughter are a little less and her too yeah her less but as well

basically I have so much respect and this is a very basic opinion of mine okay and you both know I have time to time I happen to have very based opinion sometimes I have a very gay one yeah yeah as we all do yeah I think meats are the bravest people in the world which one are they again not in an education training not an education employment or training oh okay just just guys just chilling yeah just people

who live at home yeah just guys they have nothing going on guys who are just like I walked from this block to this block and that's kind of my life guys that try to start taking like 600 steps today. Yeah. Guys, you're like, I'm saving up enough money to order DoorDash. Like those guys. They were the cowards. Yeah.

They are the brave ones. Yeah. They have completely opted out. By the way, all three of us, our souls are damned to hell because our taxes are going to raping and killing children. Yeah. Okay. We live unethical lives.

Mine aren't. Hopefully all will be saved, but our taxes are going to killing and raping and going to this entire thing and everybody's a hypocrite who criticizes it. all the time. I send in a little note. I say, not for that. I go,

this isn't for that. Right. And then they go, and then they go, and they take double of it. Yeah. Yeah. Then they go, we're sending double.

I always send them this note, and they ask me for more. Neats are the only one clean of sin. They said, you're not going to get to tell me how I have value or how I'm important. I'm going to set it home. I'm going to play video games. Right.

I'm going to develop a romantic, interest in my own mother. Because she's the only girl I know. I'm going to start dating whatever's around me. If not my mom, my dog, my plant, who knows? I'm going to develop a system of masturbating at home where the closet door, I pretend I'm looking in the closet, but I'm actually jacking off on the closet door. So if my parents walk in, I can pretend I'm getting dressed.

Yes, exactly. I've developed a system of masturbating, like, how you would shoot the SWAT team when they're going into your house. I find a corner that I point away from. I'm such a loser. I'm not even living on like disability or like anything. I'm not getting anything from the government. I don't even exist.

I'm into Pokemon cards. Vaporin. Nothing. I'm into Pokemon cards. I don't have money for them. I don't have any. I watch YouTube videos about the idea of collecting Pokemon cards. There are free movies on YouTube.

Yeah. And I found a laptop in a trash can behind a dinnies where there should be a monster that David Lynch created. I haven't used soap in three years. They hose me down like when a dog rolls in cow shit. I eat live bait. I eat catfish bait. Yes, I eat mud master bait.

I go down to the worm story. I say, give me the most disgusting worm catfish blood worm shit. Guys who entertain themselves by walking around. Yeah. They go, where you go, son, what did you do today? And they go, I walked around. They go, I've vaped on Maple Street. And he goes,

am sign you kick ass these are god's true heroes they truly are you're right these are gods soldiers these are angels of light they're chair they how brave do you have to be to be nobody yeah truly yeah wow how brave do you have to be holy to eject from the whole thing as a young man in America to say to give the finger to the bravery to suck the the bravery to suck to everyone not a person thinks you're cool. It's the only way you can save yourself. Get a library card, never get a job, never make a dime. Get a library card, never read a book in your life, just ran DVDs, only ran DVDs from the library. The guy who goes to the public library to watch movies. Yeah, to get to buy pornography. He uses free, he creates a new email every month to get Mr.

skin free for a month. He writes down all the movie sex scenes, goes to the library to jack off to them. Yeah. Yeah. It's the page master, but he's just watching movies. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That is the only guy, because, yeah, you can't live ethically in capitalism.

That's like a popular saying amongst gay people and whatnot. They are the only people living. Yes, ethical consumption under capitalism. They are the only people living ethically. Anyway, that's what I would basically tell my kids once they're old enough to understand. Let them know that. I think that'd be the responsible. Yeah.

Let them know that next year. Yeah. Will it be three? Let them know that. Yeah. I want them to live with me forever. because they're amazing you fucking creep

well where are they gonna live like I'm gonna fucking steal them from you you want your grown son to beat you up when you're frail there's gonna be a moment in your life where like your daughter's like night thing she's living with me what the hell no what the hell

not like in a way like not in a way like that no way like that no where I'm like I have to keep talking to her about like how your dad is like listen he doesn't mean the things he says on the show oh you're saying she ran away she ran away No.

She's a runaway. You guys are being, like, totally crazy. That was a nuts way to say that. Well, yeah, it's funny to say things like that. To start it off. The craziest way possible. No, but there's going to be, and your kid, your son, too. I call your son the kid.

Well, we don't use names. They're both going to be living with me, and I'm going to have to tell them, like, listen, your dad, like, I know he wears the red glasses and he yells a lot in that room. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. they go, he loved your Uncle Jace before he passed. Your Uncle Jason and him, they came from a different place, and they, that's how they reacted to it.

But no, they're going to be like, they're going to love me because I'm a simple dip shit, and they're going to be tired of you doing what you just did, doing these long soliloquies about whatever the fuck that was. And I'm going to be sitting there like, listen, guys, the departed fucking rules. Let's watch the Departant. You're going to be like the Jimmy Buffett uncle. Yeah, and they're going to be like, oh, I love this. Dad always shows us the Departed, but it's got like weird aliens in the David Lynch stuff.

And they find peace because they come over and they're like, they try to tell you about shit that's going wrong with them. And you're just like, I got a new migraine machine. Let me fire it up for you. I'm going to get your kids in a weed. Devin, interesting thought experiment. What would your life look like if you were like really smart? Like, if you had, like, 180 IQ, if you were, like, a Minta guy. Like a genius.

I'm actually curious. The exact same. No, what, come on. If you were, like, a 185 IQ guy. Most incredibly intelligent people. You go to John Hopkins. Your best friend is, like, an 80-pound Indian guy who smells like cat food. You'd be talking about me in the past tense.

My name is cat food. You think you would have taken your own life? 100%. That was going to be my answer. Don't they mostly do? Why do people equate intelligence with suicide? What is that? Because it's an app response to looking at the world, honestly.

With wisdom is blowing your brains out. So what about people that, like, you know, they're going to do a mass shooting and then blow their own heads off? Those guys are, like, chud, like retard. That's, it's bell curve. That's the thing. Is you're either so retarded. Taco bell curve. Yeah, exactly.

You're so retired. You do a mass shooting and kill yourself. Or you quietly kill yourself in your own parents' house. I'm glad it's officially like, and gay shit to do mass shooting. They'd know what your life would look like if you were a 180 IQ? I think I'd be like 800 pounds. You'd have like left your family.

If none of this, you'd have like, you'd be completely autistic. Why would I be immoral? I don't get it. Because you're so smart that you'd be like this is taking away from like my ability to fucking do whatever the fuck I'm being used for because of my intelligence. You'd likely be being used because of that intelligence. If I had 180s. Or you'd be homeless.

You'd think yourself into homelessness. I would be the nutty professor, but white. I'd be the white nutty professor Still fat as shit I'd be running tests in the college Science Lab with like gerbils and guinea pigs and stuff And hamsters

You turn into buddy left. And making them do breakdancing I would try to invent flubber I think if I was really smart I'd watch Flubber when I was six It'd be my life's mission to make Flubber From the movie with Robert Williams Your answer is if you had a hundred 80 IQ

You'd be retarded This is what you're saying You'd be the world's smartest return. No, I could see you doing a buddy. I would spend billions of dollars of like, I'd channel money from like cancer research. I would funnel it to my practice to invent flubber. You'd, uh, but I go, it's flubber, but they're blue. It's blue flubber.

We call it blubber. So it's better. It's better. It's better. Yeah. And I'm also dressed like the nutty professor, which I'm aware is a different science. And I go, so wait, you made a green, you made a blue thing that can like, dance and you're like you can't dance it can only feel pain

and then you open a big jar and there's a there's kind of a blobby guy's just screaming screaming kill me fucking kill me yeah I could see you pulling a nutty professor a white nutty professor in your heckling comics at the mothership as buddy love you're beating up

people that's interesting yeah for being mean Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I generally think 180 IQ I'd probably be dead. I think honestly,

I think that's the real answer. I think you kind of... I don't know if there is a correlation between IQ and suicide, though. I think people view like a really high IQ, which already has its own issues, whatever people have written about that. That's me not knowing the argument is I'm like,

I'm not going to get into that. People have ran about that. They equate that with success. I don't even... I don't really know. know if that's true. I think you kind of have to be like just smart enough while still retarded. I don't think incredibly intelligent people

have a great time. No. I don't think it makes them money or anything. I think you have to have to have a perfect middle ground. Yeah, I think you have to be somebody like Elon Musk or the guy who found... People with lower measured IQ scores are generally up to four to six times more likely to attempt or die by suicide. It's actually dumb people.

Dumb people kill themselves. Lower IQ often correlates with lower socioeconomic status, financial disadvantage, poor, stress coping mechanisms, lower problem-solving abilities during a crisis, and higher rates of co-occurring psychiatric or physical health issues. So they kill themselves more? Yeah, retarded people kill themselves more. Well, that's just bias in the test. Is it intentional?

How do they know it was intentional? Yeah, were they there? Are they dying listening to like Fed around for it? Did they wrap their viper around a telephone pole? Or were they just like, yeah, like give me that pill. I'm having a great night. Shit. I will say just like, you know,

raptor, you know, like, there's like a 14-year-old rapper called, like, baby suicide. Yeah, and he just,

yeah, but I don't think that that guy's like, I want to fucking die. Yeah. I can barely take it. Like, death is sad. Yeah.

I think he thinks it's like a thing. Or not even that. I think those guys are like, I'm actually going to live forever for real. Yeah, yeah. I'll never die. I think,

I actually, I don't even count those as suicide. They're not suicide. When dumb people kill themselves, it's not suicide. No, that's like one, it's like,

they slipped. I call it a slip. Yeah, when Buffalo run off the side of a cliff, I don't call that suicide. But when a smart person kills himself, I'm like, this person has, they know exactly what they're doing. According to the study, they're a sued.

Anybody who's killed themselves is actually a sued. They just think they're smart. A sued? A pseudo-intellectual. So they're like, they go, oh, I'm like Zach Braff and fucking Garden State.

Garden State. Oh. Yeah, closer to all of Garden State. You fucking re-weree. Yeah, get them. Get them. Get their ass. I haven't seen the movie. Does he kill himself in that?

The shit's more like the shits. He lived. You stink. Yeah. Fuck you. Does he kill himself in it? No, he lives. He tries to.

I think he tries to. He tries to come himself at the beginning. But he's like a sad guy with headphones in a waiting room or something. That's literally most of the movie. He's like tons of like antidepressants and lithium and shit. And he's like riding around like his like his mom ride. His mom or his dad's like motorcycle or some shit throughout. It's that crap.

Right. Yeah. Zach Graff. Fuck you. Yeah, it's high time somebody took down Zach Brough. He's been fucking in our face for years. You know what? I actually agree, unironically.

Fuck him. I'm sick of him and Donald Faison in their Verizon commercials. I'm so sick of seeing Zach Brough in front of me. What has it been? Scrubs is back. 18 years ago, he was in front of me. No, no, Scrubs is back. I saw it on a bus when I was waiting.

The brand new season of Scrubs is back. I saw a bus with him on it. They've got everybody. The black guy, the half black guy. Yeah, he goes to my Whole Foods, so I see him with his kids. The guy with the mole? Yeah. Does he have a mole?

Donald Faison. On his chief, on his lips, his big mole. Donald Faison. He was going to remember the Titans. Donald Faison. Yeah. Thank you. Could be getting junior, Donald Faison, whatever.

Sure, whatever. Put him on screen. Fine by me. I haven't seen a single thing. Are you in every commercial? Have you not seen them during this playoffs? You guys are nuts. In every commercial?

I haven't seen a single thing for Scrubs. I give it up for no half black actor except for my guy, Zach Cherry. I love Zach Cherry. I love when he pops like a cherry on screen. In Resident Evil. In Resident Evil when he explodes. They got to give him the Oscar for that, right? I don't count Zach Jerry is half black. Is he not black? No, he is. He is, he is half black. I just don't count it because he looks like shit. And I love him, but I'm like, that's not a half black guy. That's full white. We get that. I also love the old half black guy who's like a bullfrog guy from Bo is afraid that they're

therapist at the beginning. Yeah. The guy from... He's also in Civil War. He gets shot. Oh, I love that guy. He's in, like, Lady Bird, too, I think. Zach Cherry's dad.

Yeah, he's the crazy... Jack Cherry Coke. Yeah. Where, like, cries. Yeah, where he cries in Lady Bird. Yeah. It's very funny. That guy's good, too.

He's a half-black guy. Now, at him, I count as a half-black guy. Zach Cherry, too white. You can tell they're half-black because they're not at that dark. Yes. Okay. So, I go, I bet one of his parents were white. Or something else.

I go, I hope. I go, I hope one of his parents was white. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like Donald Faison. I don't like Zach Brath. I don't like that he fucked Fornes Pugh's big fat ass. He fucked Farrant Feeleaf.

For years. And she was, it was kind of a little bit of drama on the internet because they were dating for years. She broke up with them. And it was revealed, somebody found a picture of Forren's Pugh's dad. And she looks exactly like, he looks exactly like. like Zach Brath. So people are like,

oh, yeah, it was people were like, oh, this is a clearly, you're fucking your dad. A dad fetish. Because he was also like 20 years,

which I don't care, whatever, Florence P's dad. Most women are into it. Who cares? Oh my God. Yeah. Holy.

Yeah, yeah. That picture of them together right there. Look at that one. Holy. Top right. Holy affirmation. Yeah.

That's a guy, that's a lady fucking her dad. Oh my God. You're banging old Zach Braff, bitch. That's your dad. That's her. dad yeah sad sad sad breath what a disgusting bitch holy shit i hate her tithes and shit they pissed me

her tithes hopinheimer pissed me off like an incredible i can't i think the tithes are normally better than that i can't hear this i think no one is so bad at shooting film that he made her tities look worse we devon is a fan of florence view i can't hear no i just don't want to hear you fucking talk about women this way when we just you know right after this s andl this week of s&l Women have been through so much. I'm not okay with that. Shit. Yeah.

Women have been through so much. Okay. Can you explain to me what's going on? Yeah. A fucking Nazi just did us at. I hope that explains it. And he attacked rape victims. A Nazi said women at the gym look like horrors.

Yeah. He was basically raping every woman in America. I guess no one had anything to talk about for the past two days. So that became the thing. We never have. We never have. There's absolutely nothing to do. No.

The amount of times I opened Twitter and they're like, did you see, did you see Burpo is breaking up with flea flop? I'm like sure. Yeah. Why not? People are like, burpo raped fleet flop. I'm not sure. Why not? Who cares?

People are like. Play with your Pokemon cards. Who gives a shit? People are, uh, people are acting like, uh, like, uh, the SNL model like had anything, like had something to do with like the Cornell thing. Like it's, it is kind of crazy. Like, woke, uh, it's back, buddy. Slat up, slap, a second for a second. And we need to fight it.

Yeah, this is not the take. What we should be talking about. You just did a Nazi, my guy. Hey, my guy. Hey, my N-word, you just did a Nazi. Holy. Holy shitballs. What we should be talking about this week is how the guy everybody thought

was white and the Cornell 7 was actually Muslim. That's what we should be. focusing on. I can't keep up with the Cornell 7. Was any of them a minority? We thought I thought it was three. I thought one was Chinese. One is Chinese.

Okay, so he doesn't count. So toss him out. So it's six. One black guy. Now we're down to five. All right. So. Engels sounds like a Latino name. Two Mexican guys. That's four.

Two Mexican guys. So I think the Matthew Ingalls guy, it was like three out of seven white guys. How many wallets did this lady have? This lady walking around was seven wallets? Yeah, he was texting free wallet upstairs, free wallets.

They thought it was three white boys. Which I only bring this up because I know there are some people who are devastated. It's only three white guys. Yeah. And then one of the white guys, I think his name was Matthew Ingalls. He's actually like a Muslim kid from like a Dubai. like billionaire family who's at Cornell. His real name is like Dr. Umar Ingalls or something like that.

And he fled to Dubai to avoid the... Oh, he's gone. He's out. Yeah, he fled the country to Dubai to watch Deschapel do stand up for the next two decades. But so it's, I believe it is two out of seven white boys. So... And the guy who sent the free pussy texts, which a lot of people argues the worst part, was the black guy with an afro so that guy sent a free pussy upstairs text yeah

or snapchat excuse me yeah i don't like that yeah not the move my guy hey my guy not okay my guy no it told you this was a nazi that was a really fucked up thing yeah yeah we think it's bad i don't like what happened that night i don't give i don't give a fuck about any of it the macdonald's app sucks now I agree. Have you, the McDonald's is, McDonald's is not offering,

like, anything to the app now. It's fucking dog shit. Because they've got you hooked on the app. The Taco Bell app's still really good, though, so until then I'll be boycotting Ronald McDonald. They just try to get you hooked on the app. And now they've changed it to be shitty for you specifically.

They got me, look, the only thing you got me hooked on is the dollar. Yeah. And the dollar is the sale in my fat-ass ship. Yeah. And it's taking me to TB. Mm-hmm.

Every time. Taco Bell. Every time. I look up, I walk out of my house and I look up at the North Star and it's over that purple sign. Yeah. And I'm ready to get, I'm ready to get heartworms from lettuce at Taco Bell. I'm ready to, I'm ready to pull into Taco Bell and have it create an AI order for me through my app. And it says, hello, Ben, welcome back to Taco Bell.

And you go, you're my best friend. And the screen is so bright, I go blind. I'm in the drive-suit of Taco Bell. Have you been in the drive-thru? Have you been in the drive-thru? It's a barredible. It's so bright. You can't see anything.

It feels like it's trying to shame you from ordering it. No, it feels like an alien encounter. Yeah. Like in the woods. It feels like a detective like turned a lamb. He goes, so you're big fat ass, huh? You're like, yeah? Can I get the five-layer burrito?

No, they turned the light up, huh? Yeah, it's bright. They turned it up so you can see it through your eyelids. Yeah. I don't like to hear that. I don't like to hear that. You pull up to the AI and it goes, hey Ben, welcome back.

How's the suicidal ideation? I'm like, it's been man you gun. I'm RJ Middy. I wasn't doing that. You made me do it now. You made me do it now. I was doing RJBinty. You made me do that.

Can I say, by the way, my TV is all of a sudden super Reddit. What do you mean? So my TV is an AI thing where I'll go, like, I'll go put on Little Bear and I'll go, ha, little bear. Classic kids show from the 90s. That's a Maurice Xen-Dak classic kickback relax. I hope you have a couple of kids. Otherwise, I'm calling the police.

Kick back and relax and unwind with this classic throwback to Maurice Sindack's little bear. I know. You have to, like, be reassured for just being a fat faggot these days. Did Marie Sindack? Like, your TV has to be like, you're doing a great job. Being a fat, worthless retard in your house. Did that guy do where the wild things are? He did.

Yeah. And he did a little bear. I like that. I don't like how earlier in the episode it came off, like, I was, like, making, like, some sort of of sexual comment about your daughter. Whatever. People know, we explained it. I didn't mean it that way at all.

We explained it. It's a comedy show and I guess that kid was taking. I meant like, where the wild things are is right here. Sitting to my left. Fucking. The wild thing. Jokers to the left of me.

Clowns to the right. No, I meant like because you're going to be like completely insane. Yeah. We live with me. We explained that. We explained it. I just thought about it for a second again.

I was like that I hate that. You made it much worse now. That's a gross thing. Yeah, you actually made it. You made it much worse now. Did I? I think you did. Everything you've let go of has claw marks on it.

What? You're like the fucking, you look like a, you're like the tiger and the, you're like the fucking, God, dude is the autistic kid and you're the tiger. Sick. You make me sick. I'm pissed off about the McDonald's app. I don't give a two fucks about Shane Gillis doing a Nazi on S&L until they fix the McDonald's. Hey guys, let's try to get our priority straight here.

They're not offering me a free Big Mac on Tuesdays anymore. So until then, I don't give it a fuck if Shane Gillis is Sigahiling on SNL. Because you want your free burger. You want free burger. I do care about Shane being a Nazi on SNL. Yeah, this is not the take, my guy. Yeah. Hey, my guys.

Maybe sit this one out, my guy, because you're doing a Nazi. You're doing a Nazi RQ. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I don't know. Shane Gillis, more like Sigile. Yeah. If I can get his ass.

Yeah. More like Heinrich Himmler. Yeah, more like shame Red Pillis. Because it's fucking fuck him. No, honestly, it made me sick. It made me sick. Shane made me sick. He made me sick.

Because I haven't even seen it, but it made me sick. I haven't watched it either, but I said shame, shame, shame. It made me sick. I was completely drunk three nights, two nights ago, and I watched it, it made me sick. I had no clue what was happening, and then I woke up the next day, and I go, I'm on, I guess I'm on some. but his side here. I go after all the women have been through reading Twitter this week

he's gonna do this. I want to be, I want to get like, um, like early onset dementia from scrolling too much. And I'm like, you get, I like call you guys and I'm ranting about this,

the saxophone guy in S&L. I'm like, I mean, like what is he done? Yeah. Like, fuck it. Like he's like a hack.

Yeah. Like nobody gives a shit. Like he didn't, yeah. Like we're over it. Yeah. Like he got one, you got one,

you like barely last when like a male comic host. You're one of that. You've lost your fucking mind to the culture war. And I hate the saxophone guy in SNI. I hate the drummer with the hat on Kill Toney. I'm ranting about that guy. I'm ranting about the guy that paints. I would love to go kill those people in my,

and then they find out that my Reddit name is Sottow, 69. And I'm doing it because they didn't smile during Shade's set. Oh, you kill all the S&L. I kill all the band members. Hunt them down one by one because they're not right. The guys are legitimately. And then they release info later where they go, they can't hear what the

And you go, wow What the person's saying? You go, wow. No, I have legitimately seen those people who are like, that fucking cunt on the keyboard just never laughed at the shan show. Fuck that bitch.

I feel like it's like the fourth time in the last three years where I've seen like people like there's like that lady. Yes. There's this like redheaded lady in the back and every, it's like I don't know I just saw like three videos today

where people are like, look at this bitch. Look at this fucking bitch. And I'm like, does she even, like, know what's, are they? I don't think I've ever seen the background. They go. I don't care about anything. I don't care. She's just a thing I think I imagine in my head because I'm retarded and sensitive.

I will say in closing, and I'm only bringing this up because this is Jason's number one woman, like body type. Okay. Wait on me. Christina Hendrix has been DJing. Oh, I've seen that shit. And I really badly want to go pretend I care about DJ. We missed. She DJed in San Diego and we missed it.

I saw it like an hour after you said. I was so. fucking mad because I was going to go there and I was going to kidnap her and put her in my car I want to do you're going to put her in a wayfare yeah I was going to lock it in one of those door dash robots and take her home yeah the little Wally robots I call one of those Indian guy drive him to your home I go I go I go Indian guy there's definitely not a woman in there don't try to fuck her he goes okay no she's um she's the one she's the greatest woman of all time to me Christina Hendricks

I can't believe she's a I saw those videos and I can't believe I can't believe I'm a I could tackle you Yeah That I could just I could just grab you I can't believe I could come to some place That you're at right now I think I might

And figure it out Yeah I think I might And I'll do respect to her I think she's a great person She's a good taste of music I think I would start cranking my hot In public on the dance floor Like it like an ape

I think I would just Tackle her Tackle her Tackle her She just sees you running with both your arms out. I think I'd run straight at her. And I go, that boy, he's like a dog chasing a car. He's not going to know what to do with it.

I saw a video today of her on Instagram. She's like playing music and everyone's like doing this. And I'm like, why are they not turning? I've been like, you're fucking. That's crazy. Your tits are rude. Your tits are amazing. Holy shit.

Fuck this shoegaze bullshit. Holy shit. She does have a pretty good taste of music, though. Mm-hmm. No, she's great. I love her down. I love her tits. I gotta say, when it comes to her tits...

Love her tits. I don't know that I love her tits. I haven't loved to deal that much. Okay, dude, you're nuts. You're fucking nuts. That's the episode of everyone. That's your favorite. No, we can't even put that on a Patreon.

We can't put that on a Patreon. We can believe it. We can believe it. He's got a podcast. but they would die. You got a lot of bleepin. Ben, they would die. I would actually die. I'd love to do that much as... You're not, stop.

I can't do that to them. Dude, you're going to kill them. You're going to actually kill them, dude. It's shaking a big of nest. Dude, you're nuts. You're like if John... If you're like if John Lynn and hung out with Mark David Chapman, you're nuts. You're nuts. My chine. My chink. Don't you like my chine, mine? Young

Gucci in mine and I'm popping off the time. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine. No, you call me Gucci Gucci. My chain. My chain. Don't you like my chain mind?

Young Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain mind. And my Jacob is so fruited. Call me Gucci mine. No, you call me Gucci, Gucci. I came to the club. Just to fuck my chain line. Catch another charge and I'm going to the chain guy. The sex and white screen.

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My first chain I had to rob for it Jesus piece, yellow diamond sitting all in it I'm on some slick rig shit 2006 Mr. D diamond so bright Ain't no way you can't see the G Look I don't dance I just lean with it My piece is sick, Gary Robert trying to leave with it I got that New York fitted on

Full suit Dickie on Blue stones in a nigga charm Now watch me do it Do it. Traps when he crin' on that bezel and that man. No wife, but my chain. Got my girlfriend. Don't you like my chine mine?

Yung Gucci mine and I'm popping off the chain. And my check a bit so fruited. Call me Gucci mine. No, you call me Gucci, Gucci. My chine. My chine. Don't you like my chine mind? You're like my chute in mine and I'm popping off the chine.

And my check a bit so fruity. I know you call me Gucci Gucci.