Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Always Eating My Words

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Join me in this solo episode to answer your questions. We cover if I'm gonna freeze my eggs or not, how long I'm gonna wait before I would have a baby with Montana, why my life is better off since learning to say no, how I've stayed positive with so much criticism from strangers, and the hardest part about dating someone younger.A word from our sponsors:Hiya Health - Get 50% off your first order when you got to hiyahealth.com/HONESTLMNT - Go to DrinkLMNT.com/HONEST to receive a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order when you purchase through our URL.Revolve - From last-minute trips to event dressing _ seasonal refreshes, REVOLVE has you covered with fast two-day shipping and hassle-free returns, all on them. Go to revolve.com/HONEST today to shop my top picks for the season. (And don't forget to check out the Festival Edit while you're there - it just dropped and it's too good.)Signos - Go to SIGNOS.COM and get 20% off select plans by using code HONEST today. Starz Mary & George - Watch Mary & George, only on STARZ and the STARZ app. Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I am your host, Kristen Cavallari, coming at you with a solo episode. I feel like it's been a minute since I've done a solo, but what I'm going to do this week is answer some of y'all's questions. I periodically will go to my Instagram and have you guys submit questions so we can just tackle the hard-hitting stuff, you know? So you guys never disappoint, I will say.

Wide mix of questions. There are a handful that are always the top ones, and I'm going to answer a lot of those this week for you. So we're just going to dig right in because we've got some good stuff. So I'm going to start with one that was asked repeatedly that I have sort of referenced on the podcast a few times. And the question is, why do you have your kids full time now? Was it their choice or the parents? So here's the deal. I have definitely said a couple of times on the podcast that I had my kids full time for the last three months. That has just recently changed. They are back with their dad every other weekend now. So we used to do week on week off. That won't be the same, but they are with him every other weekend. And that's really kind of all I can say because it's

a legal issue. I'm not going to comment on it. And I just have to kind of leave it at that. And I'm sorry, there are certain things I'm not going to talk about. And you guys ask me a lot of questions about my ex-husband and my divorce. I definitely feel like I have talked about my divorce. If you want to know more about that, you can go back to previous episodes. That's not something I'm going to continue to talk about. I feel like I've kind of said everything I need to say, and I am not going to answer questions about my ex-husband. I'm just not. That is a hard line for me for numerous reasons, mostly being my kids. I don't need to be talking about their dad publicly. I think it's a respect thing for my children. And I'm sorry. I also think just

me personally, like I've moved on from that. That was four years ago. Right. And so I don't want to keep talking about like I've moved on with my life. So let's all move on together from that phase of my life. Okay. All right move on together from that phase of my life. Okay. All right. Now we'll get to the good stuff. Are you going to freeze your eggs or have you? I have not frozen my eggs. Obviously I thought I was done having kids and I, you know, I don't, I don't know if I am done or not. It's too soon to tell, but I do not plan on freezing my eggs. I'm not going to, I sort of figure if I am supposed to have another baby, I will, and I'm going to just kind of leave things up to the universe or, you know, I don't even know if I am going to, if I want another kid yet. I, you know, I think obviously first I need to figure out if I do want to have another kid and that's just going to take some time. I'm not there yet.

And actually while we're on the subject of freezing my eggs and babies, you guys had other questions about what I said on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, which, okay. Okay. So here, here are the other questions. Confirm the rumors. Are you in the works to have a new baby daddy? And then how long do you need to date Montana before having a baby with him? So on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my best friend, Justin, literally just having a conversation that I would have with my best friend. And I even said in all of the social clips at the beginning of the clip, I said, I'm not actively thinking about it, but meaning like it's too soon to tell. I'm not over here. Like, should I have a baby? Should I not have a baby? Like I've been dating Montana for a couple months. Like we're

just going to slow our roll and continue to date. I'm in no rush. I will never rush into anything ever again. And so no, I'm not, I'm not in the works to have a new baby daddy. I'm how long do you need to date Montana before having a baby with him? I don't know. Here's sort of what I'm, what I'm doing is I'm taking it. I'm taking it day by day, first of all, but I'm sort of like where I'm at in my mind right now is like, let's assess where we are at the end of the summer. You know, that'll be a decent amount of time. And then maybe I'll put another barometer on it and say, okay, what about the next six months? But I'm really, I'm not like, I think we've had the kid conversation because I have the kid conversation with everybody I go out

with. Anyone I've gone on a date with in the last four years, that comes up for numerous reasons because I'm not trying to waste someone's time. And I thought I was done having kids or I really, I thought that was a hard line for me. I think, you know, I've, I've bent on it a little bit because the reality is I feel great. You know, I'm 37. I feel really good. I think if I ultimately wanted to have another kid, I think I could, I've got two girlfriends that are having babies right now at age 40. And that's kind of an inspiration for me. And I enjoy having kids and I enjoyed being pregnant, you know, for the most part. And so like all of that, like we, I'd figure all of that out. It's just more, I wanted to have the conversation with Montana because,

well, how do I say this? I guess Montana is the first guy in four years where I have thought, maybe I would have another kid. Everyone else I've gone out with, it was like, no, I'm not having any more kids. But you meet the right person and they can change that for you. And I'm just saying, it's in the back of my mind. It's way too early for me to decide if I'm going to have another baby or not right now. However, just in the same way that Montana is the first guy that I have thought like, maybe I could have another baby. He's also the first guy in four years I've wanted to be taken off of the market for. In four years. Guys, I went on a lot of dates in four years. And I would say I really dated three people. And none of them I wanted to be really in a relationship with. This is the first guy where it's making me take

a step back and making me kind of reassess and look at things from a different perspective. That's all. That's all I meant by Justin and I having that conversation. I'm in no way, shape or form like sitting here going, okay, Montana is going to move in. I'm going to get pregnant. Like that's just not even crossing my mind right now. It's just, we're having conversations or not. We're not even actively having conversations. We've had conversations where, okay, I know where Montana is at. He, of course, wants kids and he should have kids. He's 24. Here's the other thing too. I would never want to rob him of that. If it was a hard line for me to not have more kids,

I think it's respectful to him for me to say that to him so that I'm not wasting his time. Because if I'm never going to have more kids, you know, he, he should be able to go out there and meet a girl who will have a whole family with him. So anyways, these are, these are just conversations that you have in dating, right? But so how long do you need to date Montana before having a baby with him? I mean, a substantial amount of time. I think, I think that's safe to say. I don't think it's like a two year thing. I think I'm going to have to just feel it out and see. That's all I can really say. So I'm going to, I'm going to get through the end of the summer and then I'm going to kind of look at it again and say, okay, you know, now how are we, how are we feeling about things? That's, that's where I'm at. So, okay. We're not jumping all over.

Were your houses on the hills really yours or did MTV give you those as backdrops? This is, I love questions like this. I think these are really fun. So, okay. Here's the sitch with the hills. So the hills, let's see, when I joined, I had a condo in LA and they would not let us film there. So, cause I was renting it. So what happened was they got me a house in Malibu. I mean, this house was so sick too, right on the beach. It was probably like a $40 million house and they rented it for the summer and they pretended like it was my house. And it wasn't my house, obviously. And the only time we could ever actually stay there was when we filmed. And I think if we were drinking. So I think I probably stayed there four times total the entire summer. It wasn't like I could actually go and stay there for weeks on end, which was

kind of a bummer. So that was 1 million percent a backdrop, as you want to call it. It was our party house, essentially, which was really fun. And then the second season I did of The Hills, I then moved into a house, this really cute little house in West Hollywood. And what I did was I said, if you guys want to film here, you have to pay my rent. And they did. So, you know, that's like one of those situations where you just got to know your worth and you got to demand certain things. And because you'll get them, you'll get them. I would do shit like that all the time. I actually have said this before, but even on Laguna Beach in high school, spring break in Cabo, I was like, if you guys want to film me, you have to pay for my trip.

Like I just knew because it's like you're going to have what you have to do. That's what's happening. Otherwise, I'm not filming. So I was always really good about doing stuff like that, which I am proud of, you know, because I think a lot of people that doesn't even cross their minds. So I definitely got them to pay a lot of money in rent for me, which was awesome. So that's cool. But it was but that was my real house. I will say. Okay. A brand that I always absolutely love talking to you guys about is electrolyte brand element. Healthy hydration. Isn't just about drinking water. It's about water and electrolytes. And you guys, that makes sense. You lose both water and sodium when you sweat, but both need to be replaced to prevent muscle

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H-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H dot com slash honest and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. Okay, when are you going to show your kids faces? This has always been and will always probably be a top question for me. So, you know, I cannot wait to show my kids quite honestly. I mean, that's the biggest part of my life. I obviously think my kids are adorable and I would love to share a little bit of that part of my life with everybody. And so I have said when they are old enough to make the decision, if they want to be on social media and if they want their

life out there to a degree, like if they don't want their profile to be private and they're okay with all of that, then I will, when they start sharing their lives, I'll start sharing their lives, but they're not at those ages yet. You know, I, my oldest is, you know, he's, my oldest is almost 12, but he's like 12 going on 30. I mean, the kid is really wise beyond his years. He's very mature. He's an old soul. And so, and he's interested in all of that stuff. So I could see me sharing cam, you know, sooner than later, but I still, I still think he's just, he's so young and I want my kids to be kids right now. So, but eventually I will, you know, as long as they're cool with it. Would you consider to go

more private at some point, just running Uncommon James and not sharing life? I love this question. Yes. I will not be putting my life out there forever. And what I like so much about my career is I feel like it's kind of come in waves. I've definitely had years where I was not putting my life out there and really, you know, Laguna Beach, the Hills years where I was not putting my life out there. And really, you know, Laguna Beach, the Hills, that was not really putting my life out there. Very Cavallari, kind of same thing. That was more my life because it was my company. It was my real husband. It was my real friendships, you know, but no reality show is a hundred percent real. It's impossible. And so there's always been a disconnect for me with sharing my life and what's really going on with every show I've ever done. I would actually say the

most vulnerable, the most I've let people in is actually this podcast. But what I like so much about this podcast is that it's on my terms, right? I mean, I get to decide what to talk about. I actually also get to decide how much to share. And this has been a really comfortable environment for me to share a lot more than I really have in the past because it's on my terms and I'm able to control it. And it's when I want to share something and, and, you know, filming most of it in my dining room at my house. Like right now it's just me. This is a really nice way to do it, but I'm not going to have this podcast forever. You know, I've loved doing this podcast. I really have. And I'll continue to do it for a bit, but I don't see me having this podcast in

10 years. I just don't. And that's okay. You know, I like doing things for a little shorter periods of time. Uncommon James is the first thing that I've done. Well, it's the only thing that I've done for a substantial amount of time. We're coming up on our seven year anniversary, which is wild. And that's the longest thing that I've done for a substantial amount of time. We're coming up on our seven-year anniversary, which is wild. And that's the longest thing that I've had to sustain career-wise because doing shows and movies and writing books and stuff like that, it's like short periods and then you're done. So in this podcast too, it was also something that's been a long running thing for me. I mean, not longer than like some of the shows I've done, but by the time it's all said and done, it probably will be one of the longer things that I

will have done. But I also like having the stability, you know, I like having the, or like the consistency of it, the routine, the structure, but no, really what I want to do you guys is I'll probably do the podcast for, I don't know, a couple more years, let's say. And then what I want to do is, well, this is actually when my kids graduate high school and they move on, I want to move to a little beach town and I want to open up a little coffee shop just for fun. I don't want to make money on it. It's really just to like build community, have great coffee. And I don't know, I just think like the simplicity in that lifestyle sounds so nice. And, you know,

we'll see what happens with Uncommon James. But, you know, if Uncommon James is still kicking ass like it is and Saylor wants to take it over, like, absolutely. I just think, you know, I'm trying to grind essentially for the next couple of years and then I'm good. Like, I'll be honest with you guys. I have a dollar amount in my head that I want to make. And when I hit that, I'm good. Like, I'll be honest with you guys. I have a dollar amount in my head that I want to make. And when I hit that, I'm good. I'm not someone who like needs the attention or is yet. I don't like I'm, I'm doing this because I'm making money right now. And, and the podcast has also been really nice for me to really let people in, show people who I really am. And for me, as far as my entertainment career goes, this podcast is putting a nice little bow on it. This will be, I think, you know, I've said a lot of things and I always come back to bite me

in the ass, but I think this will be probably one of the last things I do in entertainment. And I think what better way to go out than on my terms with my voice? Like for me, this has been a dream come true. So, you know, we'll see. But yes, I will definitely not be sharing my life forever. My privacy is actually very important to me, believe it or not. But it is. Okay. What's your favorite part of this season of life? Gosh, this is by far the best season of life. I think it's age. I think age has a lot to do with it. I think I've loved my thirties, particularly the last few years, you know, my mid, mid thirties, I would say mid to late, I guess I'm technically 37 late thirties, but I'm okay with that. I actually am not one that's like, Oh God, I hate getting older. I like getting older. I'm totally confident that I'm 37 years old. I

really think a lot of people, most people, but women particularly, particularly, I think really come into their own in their thirties. Like I know who I am. I've been through my shit. I know how to have boundaries now. I just like, I feel like I have a really good handle on my life. My work-life balance is really good. My kids are at really fun ages and challenging ages too, because I do feel like everything is a teachable moment. Literally everything is a fucking teachable moment. And then of course I beat myself up and I'm like, oh, I missed that moment because I was fucking exhausted or whatever it was. But I think it's important to give ourselves grace as parents. But the ages are just really

fun because they're going through real life stuff now. You know, they're a little independent. Like even my oldest will make breakfast every morning for himself. And you know, it's, it's like that stuff's kind of nice. It's not constant. Like they can also just like go outside and play or like go up to the room and do their thing. Like it's not 24 seven having to like, you know, hover around my kids to make sure just like to keep them alive. Right. So I like that aspect and it's just, it's fun. And I, I don't know. Yeah. I think I've curated my life to be exactly how I want it, which is really special. And I realized that's how lucky that is. I really do. I also know I've worked my ass off to get here.

And I think a large part of it is learning boundaries and how to say no to things that are not going to make you happy. I think that's really hard for a lot of people to do. And I, you know, me included, I just know I've had so much trial and error of doing things that I didn't really want to do. And then always being like, God, why do I do these things when I know in my gut I don't want to do them? So it's just listening to that voice. And I've gotten really good at that. And my life is better off because of it. And just, you know, knowing what makes me happy, knowing how to take care of myself. I think all of those things play a role. I feel the best I ever have. You know, I just I have

the most peace in my life that I ever have. And that's really nice for me because my life actually really has never been peaceful. And I'm like figuring that out as I'm saying it. This is the first time in my entire life that it's been peaceful. That's actually wild to think about. My childhood was very far from peaceful and I don't talk a lot about it. And I really kind of don't because I ultimately want to protect my family too. But like my childhood was pretty fucked up in a lot of ways. And so, and then I was a really unhappy teenager and, you know, then I was thrown on reality TV at age 17. And then it was just like, my life was always like kind of chaotic. And so it took me a long time to be able to get to this place.

And so I think because of that, I'm really thankful for it, for the peace, the peace. That's really nice. And that's only happened in the last couple of years. So that's, that's really nice. And I really learned how to be on my own the last few years, which I think is one of the most important things that anyone can do for themselves. And, you know, now I do have a guy in my life and that's bringing me a lot of joy and happiness. And, and that is nice, but I don't think you should rely on someone else to make you happy because that's a dead end road. No one else can make you happy, but he is, he is bringing me happiness and that's nice too. And, um, the fact that it's been a really easy transition with my kids and my kids like him and my kids want him around and, you know, it's just been a really nice, easy situation. And I'm really thankful for that. And I think my whole life I was always like

wanting to be in the next phase of life where this is the first time where I'm just happy being here. I'm happy being in the now. And that feels really good too. So that was a long answer to your question. Oh, what a great segue because I just touched on this. Was listening to an older podcast where you said 31 was too young and another kid was never going to happen. What changed? So, right. So I think all of us, right, we're evolving and growing. And I hope to do that until the day I die. I hope I'm not the same person I was six months ago. And something like that is a good example of it where, yeah, I mean, listen, I went out with a lot of guys in the last couple of years. So let's say I, yeah, I mean, listen, I went out with a lot of guys

in the last couple of years. So let's say I was like, you know, 35 to 37. Well, no, it was like 35, 36. I went out with a handful of guys from ages 28 to like 31. And I did say that's too young. It's too young. I feel the difference. I just, I did. And none of those guys made me want to be in a relationship or have more kids with. I mean, you guys, when I say I was done having kids, I thought I was done having kids. I mean, I really did. This is not like... Again, it takes the right person to change your mind. It's as simple as that. Also, again, age is just a number. You can meet a man at age 24 and a boy at age 40. And I've met both of those. So age is a number, guys. It's what you've been through. It's how you were raised. It's your emotional

intelligence and maturity and how well you know yourself and your confidence. I mean, I think, you know, I've talked about it on so many other podcasts. We don't need to get into all of that. But what changed is you meet someone that kind of makes you want to change. And again, I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I really don't. I mean, listen, Montana and I could be done in six months and okay, great. Then I would still look back and say that was honestly probably one of the better relationships of my entire life. And it was fun. And like, you know, he'll go on and do his thing and I will too. Like everyone's going to be okay. And I will look back and just be thankful for our time together. Or we could end up getting married. Like who the fuck knows what's going to happen either way. It's going to be okay. And I will look back and just be thankful for our time together. Or we could end up getting married. Like who the fuck knows what's going to happen either way. It's going to

be fine. But he is the first guy that's make making me think, Hmm, could I have another kid? That's all. How do you stay so positive in the face of so much critique from strangers. So I think it's a few things. You know, I was thrown on TV at age 17. And I remember going and reading in the chat rooms, I guess it was people commenting and people hated me. I don't remember reading one nice thing about me. And that was really hard at such a young age. Oh my God, that was really hard. And so right away, I had to develop a thick skin to it. And I think the thick skin was kind of fake in the first few years. But over time, and I do think this is also age, you know, you, you start to realize, well, when you can, when you finally grasp the idea that other people's opinions of you have nothing to do with you, the happier you will be. Because at the end of the day, me triggering you is not about me. That's about you.

And so here's a good example for you guys. I used to get so triggered by victims, right? People being like always playing the victim. And I would be like, God, they're so fucking annoying. Like it made me so mad. I had to take a hard look in the mirror and be like, okay, but why does that piss me off so much? What is it about that that's driving me batshit crazy? And it's because no one ever took care of me. I always had to take care of myself my entire life. I mean, still, really, no one's ever taken care of me. And I love my I love my mom, you know, I, and, and I'm thankful for the way I grew up, but I was very much on my own my whole life. And so victims, I'm like, grow a pair, man. Like figure it out. No, one's going to just take care of you.

That's about me. That's not about them. And so you got to think like, if, if me date, okay, here's, okay. I'm going to be honest with you guys. Cause why stop now? I really think with me dating a younger guy, what people are really actually triggered about. Okay. And this will off more people. I don't care. It's not that I'm dating a younger guy. Like who gives a fuck? It's that I am living my life for me. I'm doing whatever the fuck I want because I don't need a guy for anything other than someone to make me happy. I'm able to live my life however I want. And that triggers people because a lot of people are in unhappy marriages. They hate their husbands. They hate their jobs. They hate their fucking life, quite honestly. And so they don't like that. I am having fun doing whatever the fuck I want and really enjoying my

life. They don't like that. So what do they do? They put me down because they think it's going to make them feel better for two seconds. That's why you guys, people's critiques of you have nothing to do with you. And if you really like sat some of these people down and broke it down, you would figure out like there's some shadow work they need to work on. And there's a reason why me doing what I'm doing is really pissing them off. It's not about me. So I think I learned that, you know, years ago and, and how I actually kind of learned that was taking a hard look in the mirror with myself and being like, why am I getting worked up over certain things? I don't know. It's just interesting. I would almost challenge

everybody to like pay attention to what triggers you because there's something there that you need to work through. Because again, when you're happy living your life, doing your thing, you know, you're comfortable in your own skin, you know, you would never put other people down. Why do you give a fuck what someone else is doing with their life if it doesn't affect you? What? That's why. That's why. So I just think, you know, that's important for people to remember. I also have not read comments. I have not read comments because I know they're going to piss me off. And again, because those, those opinions don't matter. Why even subject myself to that? And because, you know, at the end of the day, what matters is if I'm happy, right. And how my

relationship is with Montana and if he's happy and my kids are important to me and like my family, my friend, like I think we, uh, we put social media up on this pedestal, right? But when you get off of your phone and you go out into the real world, it's very different. It is very different. Social media breeds toxicity and it condones insecurity and makes, you know, like the insecurity fuels each other. And I don't know. It's just, it's a really toxic negative place, but that's not how the real world is. And I just think we have to keep it in perspective. So I also think like, you know, I'm not reading my comments, but I was like, I, you know, catch wind of some stuff. I see little things here and

there. TikTok is kind of hard to get away from. And so, but I just think like people are getting really worked up over this. It's like, who are you guys fighting with? Because it's not me. Like, what's your point with this whole conversation and you getting worked up? Because it's not affecting my life, right? Like, you are getting worked up. I don't know. It's just, so it's been kind of funny. Not gonna lie. Okay. Did you feel instant chemistry when you first met Montana or did he have to grow on you? I knew right away. I knew right away. And every boyfriend I've ever had, I knew right away. That's why I've always taken the stance. You will know right away. I am not someone who, if there isn't something there,

I won't keep it going because I know. I know immediately if some if it's going to turn into something. I just I've always been like that. Always, always, always. Every single boyfriend I've ever had. And, you know, when I first met him, yes, there was instant chemistry and we had so much fun and I really enjoyed being with him. And, you know, he asked me to be his Valentine, like immediately. And so obviously I liked him enough right away that I was like, yes, I want to go on a date with him. But when I first met him, I didn't think it was going to turn in what turn into what it's turned into. I let's just keep being fucking honest. I quite. Here's what I really thought was going to happen with Montana.

God, he was, you can't judge me, man, for just being brutally honest. Okay. Here's what I thought. I thought Montana was moving to Nashville. He's the hottest man I've ever seen. So I was like, perfect. I'll make him my fuck buddy. You know, because I didn't have one here. I really haven't had one in the four years that I have been divorced. I mean, guys, like the lack of sex in my life was real. OK, like, let's just put it that way. So I was like, oh, my God, this is perfect. This is, you know, this will be great. And then I ended up liking him. So that's what happened. That's what happened. But. Yeah, but the attraction and the chemistry was definitely there. And then I ended up liking him. So that's what happened. That's what happened. But yeah, but the attraction and the chemistry was definitely there. And then I got to know him and you know, he's a really good guy. He's a really, really good guy. So

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management. Right now, Cygnos has an offer exclusively for my listeners. Go to Cygnos.com, that's S-I-G-N-O-S.com, and get 20% off select plans by using code HONEST today. That's Cygnos.com and use code HONEST to get 20% off select plans today. Has dating someone younger changed anything for you personally? No, I mean, it really hasn't because here's the thing. I, I decided I can't look at his age like that. In the very beginning, the age was a really big hangup for me. It was, and I was having an internal battle with it and it was really hard for me to shake. And then I had to make the decision either fucking do this or don't do it, But I can't keep sitting in the age thing because it's not fair to him. And it's also not fair to me. So since I made that decision, I have really

let go of the age thing. I have removed it from my mindset. And so I don't look at him like he's like he's younger than me. I really I mean, I really don't. And I don't feel it either. I mean, of course, are there certain things where it's like, okay, yeah, he doesn't have as much life experience as me. I've been through a lot more shit, but okay. I mean, I'm actually learning a lot from him too about other stuff that it's just not even part of my world. He's teaching me things too. And so that's really cool because he comes obviously from Montana, a very different world than what I'm used to. And he's a big outdoorsy guy and he, you know, he's a hunter and it's just, it's different. And he's, he's just, he's a really, the, he's a really solid, good guy. Like that's, that's the majority of it. He has a really big heart. He is,

he just, he was raised right. You know, and that's kind of hard to find these days. He's just a really good guy. So I don't feel that age really. And you know, has it changed anything else for me personally? You know, the only, the only thing I noticed is how fucking perfect his skin is. And then I'm like, although I don't think I ever looked like that, like even at 20, I don't think my skin was like that. So, but no, I think, you know, I don't know that I would have been able to date him when I was like 28, let's say. And I'm just using this as an example of like, I've really come into my own in the last few years of like being so secure in who I am and that like, I have the confidence to be with someone that good looking who's younger. Like I'm not like worried about what I look like.

I also, I feel the best I ever have too. So I think they all like, I just think the timing of Montana in my life right now makes sense with where I'm at in life too. And I, you know, I think about him and like his confidence, right. To be with someone like me. I mean, I, I get that because I bring out insecurity in people. Well, with guys, especially I always have. And every guy I've dated, I think because I've always given off this energy of I don't need you, which I think I've also learned to soften a little bit with that whole vibe. But it would trigger insecurity in men. And Montana is the first guy who's just like really confident being with me. And that's really nice. That's really nice because I'm not used to it. So yeah, I've been blown away with him with conversations we've had

and how he's really opened up to me and some of the really sweet things he's done for me. It's honestly kind of mind blowing when you think about his age. So yeah, he's a good one. Okay. Have you visited Montana yet? And what do you think of it? I live here and love it. There is a lot of Montana pride, man. I've noticed that, which I love. I have been to Montana once years ago and I loved it. I am, however, going to go back in May with my Montana and I'm really looking forward to that trip. So yeah, I'm, um, I'm very excited to go back. Okay. Do you ever talk to Alex M anymore or are you still close with any of the Laguna cast? So I love this question because guess who's coming to visit me in a couple of weeks, Alex M, Alex H and Jessica, The three girls are coming for a long weekend

and I am so excited. I'm going to have them on the podcast. We're going to come, we're going to do up Nashville, and then we're going to record the podcast. So also send me what questions that you guys have for them about Laguna Beach because we'll have some fun with that one too. So yes, I do talk to pretty much everybody and I love that we've all stayed in touch. Actually the uncommon James campaign two years ago was a Laguna beach theme. Uh, and so we all got together for the video for that, which was a blast. Jason lives 15 minutes for me. So I see him and Ashley and their kids and, um, Tal and I talk to all the time. You know, I talk to pretty much everybody, which I'm so thankful for that. And I just, you know, we'll always have that bond,

which is really special. And when we did the Laguna Beach reunion for Uncommon James, we all went to dinner and we went out and we just we had such a blast, such a blast. Like those are my people, right? Like we'll always have that. And, you know, I think when you've known someone since you were like high school or, you know, even younger, I don't, there's just that bond that you can't really explain. And it's anytime we see each other, it's like no time has passed. So I love that. Okay. What's your secret to the fountain of youth? You guys are going to fucking hate me for this, but I'm not kidding. It is working through all of your trauma, releasing it, letting it go.

And how do you do that? It can be done through multiple ways. I have found writing has been crucial for me. Hypnotherapy. I've talked about it. My Bufo experience, like releasing a lot of divorce trauma. And, you know, I think there's like so many different avenues you can do that. Shadow work is really important. Therapy for a lot of people. I think it just depends on what's right for you. But like really working through your trauma and letting it go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Being happy, not comparing yourself to other people, knowing who you really are, loving yourself, but loving yourself is kind of like, it's more like being really confident in who you are. And how do you do that? You do that by

knowing who the fuck you are, first of all, but I think go facing fears head on and accomplishing things so that then you have confidence of like, I know what I'm capable of. And then the next thing, the next fearful thing that comes your way won't seem as scary. And then you can accomplish more. And like, I don't know. I think it's just like being really proud of yourself and looking at yourself and being so judgmental of ourselves when we stop so judgmental of ourselves. When we stop being judgmental of ourselves and instead like focusing our energy on the positives, I think that can be a huge shift too. And stopping the victim, I think like looking at every obstacle as an opportunity to learn and grow. I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of positivity in that. And then, you know, that's the deeper stuff.

The more superficial stuff is obviously eating really well, drinking a lot of water, not drinking a lot of alcohol, you know, working out, whatever that means for you, getting outside, just taking care of yourself, I think is all, they all, you know, work hand in hand together. So, and I will on another episode, cause we're kind of running out of time here. I will talk about specifically diet and exercise and beauty stuff, because those were some of my top questions too. So I will definitely get to those. We're not going to be able to on this episode, but I'll get to those two more questions. Okay. What's the hardest part about dating someone younger? I don't even, okay. It's, I don't even think it's like the

dating younger part. I think it's dating someone with no's, I don't even think it's like the dating younger part. I think it's dating someone with no kids is really how I look at it. Cause it's not really, I don't, I haven't noticed something where it's like, oh, this is, this is an issue because of his age. It's more, this is not an issue, but this is a thing because he doesn't have kids is that I don't have a lot of free time, right? Cause I have my kids majority of the time. So I don't, and I, I really try to be mindful about leaving when I have my kids. You know, I just, I am, my kids are my priority. And so it's, it's someone Montana understanding that my kids are my priority and I don't have the flexibility and the freedom to just go do whatever all the time, because

my life is busy between kids and work. My free time is limited. It is. And that has not been a challenge, but it has been, he's actually been so great about it. I think it's more me of like, I feel bad or like, I'm always like, yeah, I want to see you, but you'd have to come here. Sorry. I'm sorry that you're always having to come to me. You know, I like, I feel bad about that, but he's been so great about it. And again, thank God my kids are cool with him being here. Cause we've just kind of like put him into our lives. You know, he's not here all the time, but he's here and, and my kids always get excited when he comes over. So that's been awesome, but it's just, and, and by the way, that would be an

issue with anybody, even if someone had kids actually. So I don't even know why I said that. In fact, if someone had their own kids, it would make it even harder. And we'd probably not see each other very often. So actually now that I'm saying it out loud and thinking about it, it's probably best case scenario because he has more freedom to be able to just come to my house and hang with us and, you know, be on our schedule a little bit more. And then the flip side is when I don't have my kids every other weekend, you know, I am, I am for the most part, like really putting my time and energy into, into Montana. Cause that's what I want to be doing. So, okay. Last question. How could you let your kids meet these men you're dating so quick? Okay. First of all,

Montana is the first, really the first guy that my kids have met after four years. And I've talked about this on another podcast, but when they met him, I had my kids full time and he came to pick me up for a date. So I don't know how I was going to avoid that. If my kids are here all the time, it's not like I could have him pick me up when my kids aren't here. And my kids wanted to meet him. I have been very open and honest with my kids aren't here and my kids wanted to meet him. I have been very open and honest with my kids since my divorce about who I'm talking to. If I went on a date with someone, you know, I mean, to a degree, obviously there are boundaries, but my kids have always had really strong opinions on everybody, even without meeting them, which is interesting. And my kids from day one always liked Montana, always. And so, yeah, did I kind of throw

Montana into the mix quickly? Well, yeah, I did quickly. I did. But again, it felt different. I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't pretty sure about someone. There was nobody else. There was nobody else that I wanted to introduce to my kids. Nobody. And in fact, there were a couple of guys where my kids were like, we want to meet them. And I was like, I'm not, I don't know. I'm not ready to do that yet. Montana was different. That's all I can really say. And, you know, I think as long as like, I don't, wouldn't, I wouldn't have done it if my kids weren't cool with it. And also if Montana wasn't cool with it, you know, it was a conversation I had separately with both of them.

And everyone was cool with it. And it's worked out. I mean, it really has worked out. Also, my ex has had his girlfriend around my kids for a long time. So I mean, they've, you know, this wasn't like the first time that they had met someone as far as like a boyfriend or girlfriend of one of their parents. So and it's been four years, guys, four years. time that they had met someone as far as like a boyfriend or girlfriend of one of their parents. So, and it's been four years, you guys, four years. And he's the first guy that I guess have been around. So I think we're doing okay. So I don't appreciate the judgment, right?

Okay. So good stuff. I always really appreciate you guys submitting questions. They're fun for me. I get a kick out of seeing what you guys are curious about. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I will see you guys next about. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I will see you guys next week. I love you. Bye. Dear Media IRL is back and we're showing up bigger, better, and louder than ever. Join us on May 4th in Austin, Texas for the ultimate live podcasting experience. Watch and learn from your favorite Dear Media hosts as they bring their insightful discussions from your headphones to the stage. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and watch audio get a makeover.

Tickets are on sale now at dearmedia.com slash IRL. See you on May 4th in Austin, Texas.