Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Can We Just Be Honest About How Hard Motherhood Is? With Stephanie Biegel

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

My bestie Biegs is back for an honest, unfiltered conversation about what becoming a mom really feels like — the identity shift, the exhaustion, the guilt, and the pressure to love every moment. We discuss having kids younger vs older, how motherhood changes relationships, the mental load no one warns you about, and why two things can be true at once: you can be obsessed with your kids and still find this season incredibly hard.A word from my sponsors:Audible - Go to Audible.com/MessyLove to start listening todayFigs - You can get 15% off your first order at Wearfigs.com with the code FIGS RX.Ka'Chava - Rewild your nutrition at kachava.com and use code HONEST.ADT - Visit ADT.com to learn more.O Positiv - Take proactive care of your health and head to OPositiv.com/HONEST or enter HONEST at checkout for 25% off your first purchase.For more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavalry, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. First of all, cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Love you. Yay. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Okay, but by the time this airs, it will be the end of January. New Year? Oh my God. And you will be older at that time. I will be. It will be my last year in my

30s. I can't. I'm actually like so excited for you. I think 40's like awesome. I'm actually not weird about it. I don't think. I don't pretend to be weird about it. I know. I don't actually care at all. I love getting older. Right. I love getting older. And you're just like a fine wine, babe. I don't like wine, but you're fine. Thanks, babe. We've known each other a long time. So long. That's kind of crazy to think about. Decades. Literally decades. Met in LA in our early 20. Okay, so last time you were on the pod, you were pregnant. I was. You were pregnant.

We were in Chicago and we were talking about, basically in a nutshell, not settling, waiting for the one. The right one. The right one. And like, if you're going to wait that long, just like, don't settle. Just waited this long. If you waited like 40 years, like, just don't settle. Just don't do it. So now you have Oliver, who will be two in June.

Crazy. And he is the cutest thing on the planet. Thank you so much. I, like, am a little biased. I think he's a cute man. He is so cute. He's a complicated man at times, but he's really cute. Oh, men are.

Do you think he looks like me? Okay, I was literally just going to say this. I do think he looks like you. You do. Thank you. Do you see it? Thank you for asking. I feel like he has, when he gives me dirty looks, I see my husband.

But I do think he looks like me. And I'm not saying that I love myself, but he's really cute. And I like when people say that he's cute and that he looks like me. Because then I feel like I could be cute too. It's a reflection of you. You feel like, thank you. No, but it's interesting because, like, people over the years have been like, some people will say Cam looks like me. Some people, I do not see myself in any of my kids.

Oh my God. I fully see yourself. I don't see it at all. Really? No, not at all. Sailor, I'm just now starting to be like, oh, I do. Like when I was her age, I think we look away. I was going to say, but also maybe, and because she's a girl, see, I see the boys in you.

Like, Camden, I always have seen. I know. See it's so funny. I don't see it. And I'm always curious of parents can see themselves in their kids. I think it's funny when people when a baby's born, they're like, it's you. I'm like, it looks like an alien. Like, why are you telling me? The baby doesn't look like anybody. It doesn't look like anybody. But I think it's like so funny. They're like, oh my God, I see you. I'm like, and people just do that

to validate that like it's your baby. I'm like, you do not see me. But okay, cool. Or like they'll ask like really young. I'm like, now I start like as he becomes a human. I'm like, oh, I could see more. But like at the beginning, no. They look like a smushed smoky baby. No, that's very rare that there's a cute baby by the way. Agreed. But he is adorable. I was into saying, but, but your baby and my babies. Yeah, I was just saying, your babies were so cute. And you have like so many babies. Or you had so many babies. Had babies. So today we wanted to talk about motherhood and the truth about motherhood. We've been having conversations. And, you know, motherhood is hard. And that's what you have your best friends for.

But for some reason, you can't say that out loud, especially publicly. And so we just wanted to have a really honest conversation about what motherhood is really like. And you're knee deep in it right now. You know, you've a year and a half old baby. I obviously have three, but mine are older. And so it's interesting to like go back and hear your stories. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot about all of that. Totally. So we're just going to talk about it. And we're going to be really honest. And I want to preface this with that, obviously, we're so thankful. Obviously, we're obsessed with our kids. We can't imagine life without our kids. But both things, you said this the other day. Both things can exist where you love your kids and you're obsessed with them and it's also the hardest

thing on the planet. Literally. Literally. So what do you want to start with? Okay, actually, let me hear what do you want to start with? What do you want to start with? What do you want to start with? What do you think the hardest part about becoming a mom is? The whole thing. Yeah. But truly, I think it's, I think the hardest part for me, I had a baby at 39. I spent 39 years focused on me being like selfish, which like I have no, right? Like, I had freedom. I had the flexibility to focus on whatever I wanted. I literally did whatever I wanted. And then you up and go, whatever you want.

The spawn to date. I'm like, I never even understood how like free I was, right? But I think waking up one day, and again, you said it, it is the most beautiful privilege in the world to be a mom. But you wake up in your identity is literally different. 100%. And I think in society, it's like you cannot say that it's anything but perfect. And I like to talk a lot about like the loss of who I was because, yes, you shift and you change and you're anew.

But I lost a lot of, for me personally, a lot of the things that I did or they've changed however you want to say it. But I think the identity shift is one of the, for me, the hardest things. I think for most people. Or it's almost like the loss of identity. Right. I think for a minute, like, yeah, you're a mom. I'm like, who am I? But I'm more than a mom.

Right. And it's like. Correct. Yeah, and it's, I think especially those first couple of years, it is so hard because your whole world is these kids. Totally. And especially for the moms because we were just talking about this. You know, you can have the best husband and he can be the best dad and it can be all the things, but it's different for a mom. It just is.

And the kids want to be with the moms. And we think about things that dads aren't thinking about. Like, even if you get a babysitter and you're going out to eat, it's like, but what's all of we're going to eat? Literally. What are my kids going to eat? Like, dads don't even think like that. I used to call it the mental load. Now I call it the mother load.

Sorry. And I heard someone said to me the other day that being a mom is so hard. And if it was easy, then fathers would do it. I was like, okay. That's why we're the stronger sex just saying. Oh, sorry. But you're like you are totally right. It's like, you know, being a mom, people used to say to me like, oh, you'll really

feel like the connect. Like men can't feel the connection at the beginning because they're not breast. I'm like, no. It's like being a mom, stepping into that like into that role overnight. For me, like, I am a control freak. I love knowing what to do as a mom every day. The minute you think you know what you're doing, like the next day it changes. I know.

That's like so, excuse my language, so fucked up, right? Like, there's days that I'm like, I've got this. And then the next day I wake up and Oliver's like, you thought you got that yesterday. He doesn't say it to me because he didn't speak yet. And I think the one other thing I'll say, it's not the last thing. But the thing I'll say on this is the identity piece. And honestly, the fact that I don't feel like everyone's truthful and very honest open is really hard for me because I love being open and honest. And I love being able to say like,

it's totally okay for me in the same moment in the same day, 400 times a day to say like, this is the most joyful and the hardest thing at the same time. And I don't feel like people are as honest. So in being a mom, I'm like, does anyone relate to me? Like, am I the only one who thinks it's this hard? You know, like so. That's why it's important to have these conversations so that we don't feel so alone and isolated in those moments. I mean, we've all been there. Like, and I think too, it's so interesting because everything is a phase, right? And like when they're little, it's really hard in different ways. And as they get older, like for me, I think my kids are easy right now. Like we're in a very fun, awesome phase. But it's harder in other ways.

In other ways. Right. Right. Now where I stand is it's like everything is actually sort of an opportunity, like a teaching moment or like really setting, you know, by example right now or are leading by example right now is really important. And it's like real life stuff. They're like, they're humans. They're humans now. But I can come out and work out at 9 a.m. and I don't have to worry about them getting out of bed. It's not like I have to get them out of their beds every morning. Totally. You're not like wiping their asses. Right. Right. Like I have more freedom in my day. Totally. But like, and I just remember my mom always being like, everything is a phase. And I think in those hard moments, it's important to remember that everything is a phase. But like, I've had moments where I'm like,

I don't know what to do. Yeah. Like it's just so overwhelming and so fucking hard and no one is talking about it. Right. So it makes you feel like you're crazy. Totally. I really am like, am I the only? And I have so many friends, including you that have had many children that had, you know,

children 10 years ago, five years ago. And I'm like, did I, was I a bad friend? Did I not ask you? But it's hard to relate unless you're in it. And again, you led with this. It's like I know there are so many women out there trying to be, you know, trying to become a mom. I see you.

I support you. It is like, it's a journey. It's so, so fucking magical, right? There is nothing I'm more proud of than being a mom. But I also want to be a full human. Yeah. And I do other things. And I just think back to like, did I ask my friends enough, like, if they were okay?

Did I check on them enough? Like, because I do feel like there was, there is this like, you know, just this interesting dance of like, it's such a privilege. So you have to, you have to love it. Yeah. And. Well, right. Yeah.

You're supposed to love it. love, right? And like, and I like to talk a lot about that, like, I really do feel two things at the same time. I love it. I mean, I wake up and I look at that boy and I'm like, how is this real life? And then there's, as the day goes on, I'm like, this is, you know, I have fear. I have guilt. Like the spectrum of emotions I go through, it's like so, so real. And I just find talking about it or like having other people say, like, you and I are always so honest with it. You're like, I was in it, right? You were in it way younger than I was, which is crazy. easy to think about too. Well, okay, first of all, you were never a bad friend and you have said that. And I actually think, because, you know, when I moved to Chicago and I had camp, you were kind of the only person I knew. Totally. I remember doing a lot of activities together. You were the best friend. Yeah, Camman came everywhere with us. This was like a layup question. I wanted you just to tell me that. No, but it's true. Oh my, I can't imagine what I would have done without you. Here's the thing. And I'm excited to have this conversation with you is, yeah, I was 25 when I had cam. And by the time I was 30, I had already had

three kids. Which is like literally mind blowing to me. I didn't know any different. Right. And so I actually think in a lot of ways, that was probably easier because it was like, okay, we're just in the next phase of life. I didn't have time to think about it. You did not know any different. I did not know any different. The hard part was I had no one else in my life who had a baby. Right. So I was sort of on an island figuring things out as I went along, which every mom does do. But I didn't have a lot of resources or people I could ask. You know, like my mom, but like you did that 25 years ago. Like, literally. Like, yeah. So I've thought. about you a lot because, yeah, at 39, you are set in your ways. You've got your life. You've got

your schedule, your routine. Like, you travel a lot. And then all of a sudden, boom, we're throwing a baby in the mix. And you can't do that anymore. That is like, and I know we talk about it all the time, but like, I think about you. And I'm like, it just seems easy is the wrong word. But like, you just, you like leaned in because it's, it's, that was your life. Right. Like I remember like taking, like, like going on walks with Cam and the Gold Coast, like, taking him everywhere we wanted to go. We want shopping. And I'm like, you know, I kind of. I kind of. I kind of. I kind of. I'm like, you know, I kind of take Oliver to Target. Like, oh my God. Like, I have so many errands to do. Like, should I take him? Should I leave him at home? I have to go to the grocery store. Like, thank you for Amazon.

You know, like, but I don't think that there's one that is perfectly easy or not easy. But I do think that the fact that I was so set in my ways that now I'm like, it's even more mind blowing to me of how much has shifted and how much has changed. Yep. Right. Totally. And I think I wish almost, you know, for many reasons. Like, of course, like I didn't settle. So it took me a little longer to get here. And I'm here now. I do wish in many ways that I was a bit younger or a bit less stubborn or a bit less, like, selfish because I do think I would probably be more flexible. And I think, I think part of that identity loss, which I really believe it is, is because I had that identity for a very long time, right? Like, I've been on this planet for a long time before I've ever

arrived. And even my husband, like when we talk a lot about this, we both lived a lot of life before he came around. So we're still getting to know each other. Like, we've been together for five years. like we're trying to stay connected. We're trying to navigate this. He's losing, or parts of his parts of my. Like, it's a lot all happening at the same time in the same orbit, you know? Right. Where for me at 25, it was almost like, I didn't really have an identity. I was still shifting and growing and changing. Totally. Right. Which I do think that there's beauty to, right? Totally. And like I think you were able to be a lot, like, have a lot more agility than I feel like I have today. And I got to be honest with you too, like even the energy and like sleep factor alone,

like today as a 39 year old woman. Babe. No. If. I don't get my eight hours, like, fuck off. I get in fights with my aura ring. I'm like, you're just such an asshole. Like, why do you keep telling me that I got to do better? I'm like, I know I have to do better. I could never have a, I couldn't do it. I'm perpetually tired.

I would let that baby crawl. Yeah. I know. I know. But it's like, you know what people I ask you the question like, how are you? And you're supposed to be like, everything's great. I'm like, I'm really tired. Yeah, you're fucking.

And by the way, even when they're sleeping through the night, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. It is full on when they're little. So you're ex- I remember like by the time they'd go to bed at night, I'm like, I'm going to bed. I'm falling asleep right now. I want to go to bed before he goes to bed. I know. I mean, it's, you're so right. I always say I should be so much cuter. I just chase that kid around. Yeah, it's your nonstop. I'm not stop. Like I'm like, are you tired? No. How are they never tired? Not tired, right? Well, and so it's even now, I go to bed before my kids. My kids all go to bed after me. After me. I love that. Jackson sleeps with me. So he goes to bed. Yeah, yeah, that's actually so true. But you also go to bed at like eight. 29. If I text you at 834, I'm like, eh, I might hear. Yeah, you might not hear from me. Anything after nine, like, forget it. That's fine. I go to bed between nine and nine 30. But like, we know how important sleep is. And like, that's the other thing. Like at the beginning of motherhood, like, everyone's like, yeah, sleep, you know. And I'm like, sleep is, sleep is a form of torture.

Like, literally. Imagine. Imagine that. No. Right. Like in those first one, everything's changing around you. And then like, let's add that you don't sleep. Like, okay, cool. I know. It's, God, it really is so hard. All right. Let's take a. Quick break, guys. Do not miss Jay Shetty's new audible original series, Messy Love, Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection. Join Jay as he guides three couples toward a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationship. This isn't about achieving perfect love. It's about practical love. In each episode,

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just everything I'm keeping in my house. And you guys also know that I am big on all the corruption that's in our food and just our health care system and everything. Well, it's no surprise that our nutrition has gotten so disconnected and it really at the end of the day just needs to be simplified. That's why I'm so excited to talk to you guys about Kachava. Kachava is great for so many things, but in particular, it's really great for energy. It supports all day energy. It supports all day with five key vitamins and minerals. It's good for digestion. It keeps things regular with fiber, probiotics, and enzymes. It's good for strength, gives you fuel and replenishes your muscles with

protein and electrolytes. Also great for metabolism. You can nurture a healthy metabolism with B vitamins, minerals, and fiber. It's also good for immunity. You can nourish your immune system with vitamin C, zinc, and probiotics. They can be used so many different ways. You can just do it on its own, or you can blend it up with frozen fruit. You can add peanut butter, nut milk. You could even add iced coffee. Chocolate and iced coffee. Yes, such a good combo. Rewild your nutrition at kachava.com and use code honest. New customers get $20 off an order of two bags or more. Now through the 31st. That's Kachaba, K-A-C-H-A-V-A-com. Code Honest. What kind of a baby is all over?

Like you just, he's wild. He's a full on boy. He's a boy. Again, I'm like, the things that people didn't tell me, da, da, dot, that. Like, I'm like, boy versus girl and every baby's different. Every, you know, I get it. But he's starting to like have words, which I like, because I'm like, oh, cool. What was his first word?

Car. That makes sense. Obviously. Yeah. Like, okay. I feel like David was laying in bed like, car, car, car, car. But like it helps a little bit that he talks, like, or like says a few words. Because I'm like, at least you can kind of commit.

But he's frustrated because I don't really understand him. Oh, God. speaks a different language. So frustrated when you can't understand. It's crazy. I'm like, dude, I'm trying. I'm trying my best. But now he has like some word.

So that's nice. And listen, he's just, he's a boy. He's nonstop. He has like a personality. He's opinionated like, hello. This is not surprising. And yeah, it's just like truly we said it. But like every, every week at this age.

Like I know it's been a little, a few moments for you. But at this age, it's like so wild how they change each week. Yeah. And yeah. No, I remember that. Keep me on my toes. It definitely does keep you on your toes. Yeah, I'm trying to remember like what age they sort of like settle into who they are. I would love.

I remember. If you remember that, let me know. Because Jackson and Saylor were both very difficult. Like, Sailor was the best baby on the planet. I fully remember that. I feel like by that time, I was like, you have to be a great baby. You're the third. Right. Sailor, there's no other option. Take care of your. Take care of yourself. Why can you take care of yourself? But once she gets started walking, I was like, holy shit, this girl is fire, man. And I remember being like, okay, Jackson at age eight, sort of mellowed out and then Saylor hit eight and I was like, oh no, why isn't she meloing now? Sailor is just now. I'm sorry.

That fiery, spicy. She's like, become sweet again. She was, she was amazing. Yeah. But Jackson, man, he was tough until about eight. I remember a friend when he, Jackson was probably six or something. He was like, I had a son like that and at age eight like it just switches. Babe, eight.

Like, thank you so much. I just want to let you guys know, buckle the fuck up. But here's what I'll tell you is. Oh, my God. I'm going to take the biggest. Have a drink for that. here's what I'll tell you is in the midst of it, like, I remember being like, this is never going to end. Like, this is the rest of my life. Like, and now I look back and I'm like, oh my God.

It's so rare, like, it's not rare that I'm with my kids, but between school sports and now they want to be with their friends all the time. Yeah, you told me that it. When you look at it, my time with them is pretty limited. You know what I mean? And like, that actually breaks my heart. And I don't want to go back to that phase because I actually love her. We're at. But if I could have my kids at age two or three for a day, all I would do is snuggle them and eat them up. So, and everyone always says it. And I remember being like, oh, I know, it goes by so fast. Like, shut the fuck up. But like, as hard as it is to just know it's a phase and you're going to look back and be like, fuck, I have a 13 year old. Like, what? I can't even. Right. And even now it goes so fast.

I know. You're so right. And I try, I try to stay grounded in that daily. Because again, like, the highlight of my day is being with that dude, right? No matter what he does. And like, don't you miss him so much? I'm like, I'm like, I'm going for 24 hours. I'm like, I'm gone for 24 hours. And like, you can't wait, to leave. But then as soon as you leave, you're like, wait, I miss him. I literally. I'm like, what is he doing? I'm like, I literally left him two hours ago. But I think, I think you're, you're so right. Like, yes, everyone says it. It goes so fast. I think staying grounded in the fact that it is all a phase does help me. Because some of the phases are amazing and some of them are really challenging, right? But I think for me getting to a place where I don't really believe in balance. I

think balance right now is really hard. But getting to a place where, you know, he's a little bit more of my buddy. Yeah. And I can like stay connected to myself, do things that are like with him, with for me, with my husband. It's just like that's what I think I struggle with is I'm someone who really does like, I believe you can have it all in some capacity. Yeah. And I want to be the best mom for that dude. But I also really do believe that. being like good to myself is important too. Well, that's what will make you the best mom is making yourself a priority. And you do have to take care of yourself so that your tank is full in order to give.

It's like the oxygen mask thing, you know? Totally. Here's what I'll tell you too is like, and that's why those first few years are so hard. I remember dropping sailor off at kindergarten and being like, oh my God, I made it. Like I have full days. A hundred percent. Right. And then you still get the magic of the morning routine and the nighttime routine and all of that.

You are a better mom when you have a break. I'm sorry you just are because you're re-energized. You're more excited. You appreciate the time you have together. Like, especially now, I make it a point. Like, I'm taking you guys to dinner. Everyone's leaving their phones at home. Like, we're doing your date nights with each of them. Yeah, I know we do. I haven't done that in a second, but we were really good about doing individual date nights for a while. But it does get to a point where you have your days back. And again, like the weekends, my kids sleep in until 10. Right. Like, I have a full morning by the time I see them. Totally. It gets to a place. where you have so much of your time back and you can make yourself a real priority again. Totally. It's hard when they're little. It's so hard. And I do feel like, you know, it's where we started, but it's like just being open and honest with it and like releasing some of that guilt. Like I feel guilt when I'm with him. I feel guilt when I'm not with him. I feel like it's like, oh my God. Like how, like how are you supposed to just like live and thrive? You know, like a lot of days I feel like I'm surviving because I did I spend enough time with him? Like I also work. Like were you? I can't

remember because it was a long-ass time ago. With, were you working with all three of them? So I worked, but like, I'm trying to think. Not as much. Yeah. Not like I am today. I definitely felt like I sort of gave up my entertainment career. And then fair. And then with camp, I'm trying to remember. I had a shoe line when I had cam. I remember that shoe line. Yeah. And then somewhere in the mix. I think actually when I was pregnant with Jackson, I started getting into the hosting stuff. But again, And these were like small stints. It didn't take up a ton of my time. Totally.

I would say for the most part, I was a stay-at-home mom. Yep. With the boys. And, well, Sailor, too. I launched on Com and James when Sailor was six months older. That's crazy. Yeah. But it wasn't what it is now.

Of course. You know, it didn't take up as much time. But still, I mean, I tell my friends all the time, like, being a stay-at-home mom, one of the hardest jobs in the entire world. No, it's the hardest job. Like, literally. And I hate when people are like, you're not a brain surgeon. No, let me explain it to you.

Because if you're a brain surgeon, that's a, you're being creative, you're being challenged, you're mentally stimulating. Right. You're fucking on and firing on every cylinder, right? A stay at home mom is draining in every capacity. It sucks your, you're, like, I mean, I was like, no, it sucks the life out of you. No, no, but it's the hardest. Like, that is one thing.

I, like, celebrate every day and I tell my friends, like, I'm like, like, the fact that you wake up every day and you step into that role, it is like, it is one of the most incredible and incredibly hard roles there is. Like that job is. And here's what I'll tell you. Because it's hard in the midst of it to be like, am I a good mom? Is this pain? Totally. Am I doing the right thing? Correct. When they get older and you see them in the world and you see them interacting with a waiter at a restaurant, their friends, their little girlfriends and boyfriends. That's when you go, oh my God, I did a good job. I'm doing a good job. Yeah. I did a good job. I'm doing a good job. And like my little people are good humans in the world. And you are like,

I mean, I love you, obviously, I was like, you are such a fucking good mom. Thank you. And those kids, like, I love being with them. It's because, like, also, like, you taught them values. Like, you showed up for them. You have always had a lot going on, but you always made time for them. They're my number one. They're your number one.

And I was to say, and they know that. I know that. And I, and you always told them that you loved them. And I, like, that's something for me. Like, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, listen, I know I'm a good mom. And I really appreciate you saying that.

It was the most important. It still is the most important thing to me. But also. I've had so many moments where I'm like, I really fucked up there. And like, I really, I'm like, am I damaging them for the rest of their life? Like, no. Especially I had moments with Sailor though where I'm like, Jesus Christ, I brought out a side of me that I never want to see ever again. And kids are resilient, first of all.

On the podcast, actually, I've had some incredible people and we've had conversations with therapists about kids. And they say, I think it was you only actually have to get it right 30% of the time. No way. Oh, God. Which, right? Doesn't that give you so much. much hope. Right. Everyone's going to be okay. 30%. I've got this, baby. I was, yeah, I like to be an eight student. So 30 percent. You've got it. You're golden. And the most important thing is when you have

a ruptured connection. So let's say you yell at your kid, right? Fine. You have to repair it. So coming back to another, me like, Saylor, I want you to know, that is not how I want to react. And I hate that I got like that with you. I am so sorry. You don't go. But by the way, you shouldn't have done X, Y, and Z. Right now, I'm just apologizing to you for my fuck up. Later we can talk about what you did and how actually you're allowed to do that too. God, that's super powerful. I love that. It's in for it's those little things that make such a difference. The most damaging is sweeping it under the rug and pretending like it didn't happen. Just for, you know, all the mom is that really. Yeah. Right. You know, it's important. I've always, I've always done that with my kids. It's repairing the rupture. Rupures are going to happen. Right. Shit's going to go down. We are not perfect. We're not perfect. Yeah. So I just think that's important. I love that. No. And I think like, I do think like leading remembering that every day. day because I do feel like, you know, as a perfectionist, not knowing what I'm doing and not knowing if I'm doing it right is like wildly hard every day, right? I wake up in the morning thinking about it. I go to bed thinking about it. And like, what is right? And I think, you know, we say it takes the

village and like, I'm very lucky to have so many friends. You know, you said at the beginning, like, you didn't have friends at that time to like be like, what should I be doing? What nipple size should I be using? Like, does he drink milk at this point? Like, how do I feed him? Like, I mean, like, truly, like, The questions that I ask my people, but it's also feeling, I try to sit in the confidence of, like, no one knows what they're doing. No one knows. Literally. And every baby and every human's different.

We're all different, right? Every. No one knows what they're doing. I try my best. And I try to be like thoughtful, intuitive. I look at this man and I'm like, I love to call him a man, Sir Oliver. I'm like, I've got you. You know, like we'll figure it out together.

And like that perfectionist mentality, like no one knows. Let it go. No one knows what they're doing. Listen, if Oliver, feels you're love, he's good. Yeah. You're winning. You're killing it, you know. Okay. No, it's going to be, he's mic drop. Okay, we're done. I've got this. Truly, I think at the end of the day, like Oliver doesn't know if everything's perfect. Totally. He just knows how you make him feel. Yeah. And oh, another thing that I've learned to, and this is important to me, when you first see your kids, whether it's in the morning,

when they first wake up, coming home from school, he's not there yet. But whatever it is, it's full undivided attention for at least 10 minutes, warm inviting, hey, how are you? And Present. Present. First thing in the morning, I give them big hot. I mean, you get him out of his crib. Totally. But like having that connection when you first reenter together is really important.

That's how, that's what kids remember, how they feel when they're with you. Not if their filet mignon was cooked media rare. I haven't done filet yet. Although my kids might remember that. I was going to say, I'm definitely going to work to feed my kids what you feed them. Oh my God. It's so true though. It's so true.

They remember if they're loved. Not crying, I swear. Just joking about tequila. You miss Oliver. Hello. Oliver. Let's talk about what babies do to a relationship because it's so hard on a relationship. Everyone I know.

No one talks about it. No one talks about it. Babe. Oh, my God. How are you and David Strauss? Oh, God. I love that man. And getting to be on this journey with him is there's

No one else I would rather be on the journey, but it's a freaking journey. Yeah. I think for me, I love connection. It's hard to find time for each other. So like, okay, hard to find time for myself. Yeah. Hard to find time for each other. We, you know, to each their own, but we built into our system, if you will, at this

point, based on his schedule, my schedule. We try to do one day night a week. It sounds like so simple. His schedule, it's so important. And I like look forward to it. I need it, right? I feel like we go to dinner and we look at videos and pictures of Oliver and I'm like, how's your day? What else?

What about you? Tell me anything else. Like I think we try, but like, yeah, it's hard. It's like this is what we have in. Correct. But I think it's wildly challenging, right? And I think like people I was talking to like as you get older, like, you know, making choices, learning how to, you know, learning how to navigate all of the things that are going to come as he gets older. Like right now it's still really, really challenging.

And I think, again, part of the, like, we met later in life, like, I'm still getting to, like, adventure, love, no, connect with my own husband. So I'm like, we have to figure out a way to, like, keep that going, right? I'm always tired. I know. Like, I want to go to bed. Like, we watch a show. He falls asleep. He pretends he's not sleeping.

It's fine. I'm like, hello. Like, wake up. But I do think it's being a mom is one of the hard jobs and, like, staying wildly present, connected and showing up for your partner. If you're doing it with someone else is, is a challenge that I think. feel every day. It's really hard. And I was found too, like, we talked about this earlier, but like, the resentment that builds sometimes of like, I'm doing more than you. Like, you're never around. Like, you don't get it. Right. Appreciate me. Like, why don't you talk about how I like feed, do

bait? You know, like, hello. Like, have you noticed? And not doing like the tit for tat. I'm like, you know, like, I'm going to go work out. Like, and you ask me what time I'm coming home. Like, doesn't matter. Like, I was with him for seven. Like, don't play that. I know. I know. I know. But it's, I think a lot of people feel this. And I think it's, it's okay. And I think it's part of growth in communicating and being like, wow. I know no other way, but to be like, wild, be honest. But I also don't want to sit and talk about it all the time too. Right. Right. Like that's not sexy. I know. Right. Right. And I'm like, you didn't appreciate me. Right. Like, did you know? But in turn, if any husband was like, hey, babe, I see how much you're

doing. Like, then you'd be like, now I'm turned on. Now I'm literally going to be like, do I'll have sex with you every night. If you just say that to me. I'm like, it's actually pretty simple what we women need. I really do believe that. I do too. It's like men, just, just, like, just, a little. A little bit because then we'll do whatever looks like.

Whatever you want. I literally, my new thing is I like, my new thing. I've probably been to do this for five years. But I keep saying to him. I'm like, just like, tell me how great I am. Like it's really not that hard. Or like, buy me a present or like, tell me how good I am. But like, truly like, I used to be like, I'm not looking for for that.

I don't need you to tell me that I'm amazing. I totally need you to tell me that I'm amazing, especially in this vignette, where I don't feel full confidence in this new role that I've taken on. I don't feel like I'm giving, I don't feel like I'm excelling at any of the pillars that I care about. Right, right, right. I'm like, just like, come home and acknowledge. Yes.

And I really do believe that that will go a very long way. It would go a long way. Also, like, well, to your point, too, like a little acknowledgement. Just get a card and write a simple little card. It takes you two minutes. Get some flowers on the way home. He told me like, I'm like seven days ago at four o'clock, no, I'm kidding. But he told me recently, he's like, you're such a good mom.

And I was like, I think I can take that little acknowledgement with me. And I can run with that for like many days and I don't think I'm going to get mad at you. Exactly. No, exactly. I'm going to pocket that. I know. It's simple shit, but like, hello, let's communicate. Tell me you appreciate me.

That's it. I think that's why a lot of divorces. I was going to say, like this is, you know what? You're all welcome. This is like, if you, therapy, if you need a little thing. But it's true. It's like those little things, I do think, especially in these chapters, I think they matter a lot more. And they go both ways. Like, I really do try to say to him, instead of harping on the things that I feel like, you know, he could do better or do differently. Like, he is so present and he is the best dad. And while there are things that I could harp on and I do feel like sometimes I'm alone and being a mom is just different than being a dad, no matter way you shake it. I try to, like. like say to him too, like the way that you father our child is, is incredible, you know, and which is so important, by the way, because there's a lot of dads that think because they're physically there, they're a great dad and they're showing up. And it's so much more than that.

Yeah. We talked about it earlier, though. Like when someone tells me that their husband's babysitting, I'm like, no, no, no. I can't. Like, what is no? I can't. Oh, you mean he's being a father? Oh, you mean he's home tonight being a dad? He's with his kids. Yes. I've always said a man will appreciate you and you leave them alone for the weekend with their kids. No babysitters. That's the only way they're going to appreciate everything you do. Literally. I'm going on a girl trip.

Bye, bitch. Maybe I'll check in. And you can't prep everything for him. You can't like literally let him do what you do. It's like, and also that's why we have girlfriends. I'm like, okay, like I will continue to tell you every day that you're an incredible but like just say it. Just say it.

Men take notes. Yeah, right? Man is listening to this. No, literally. But you never know. You know, okay, I shouldn't say that. I didn't say that. Sorry, guys. And it doesn't matter. Actually, men should listen to this. I'll tell the men. Go grab your men. I'll tell the men when I know women, men. Yes. All total adult. Total adult podcast.

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I'm not kidding. I try to, it takes a little work, but I try to prioritize, you know, keeping my workouts every morning. I am a working mom. It means a lot to me. I feel wildly fulfilled by doing that work and having my brain work in that way. So I have my own solo consultancy and I get to be flexible with my schedule. But I get to do this work that makes me, I swear, about.

better mom at the end of the day. Right? You know that I lean into all the wellness. I had 30 minutes in the sauna. I try to do it every day. I read. Do you really the sauna every day? I try. This is, remember, like, try. But it's because that 30 minutes of quiet. It's like, throw it up in like a really weird clip. Yeah, no, I actually, maybe I need to turn it higher. But regardless, like, I, I sweat, but like I throw my hair into like a schmooky of high. But I took that 30 minutes. I don't have any, any 30 minutes like that in my entire life and in my day. And it in my day. it's like, I leave it. I'm like, I did something good for myself. So work out 30 minutes on, I, I, you know, the thing that's it. But that's important. But it's, it's important. Those are

rituals. Yeah. For sure. I used to have to do, there was a phase in my life where I had to wake up at 5 a.m. to work out in my garage because that was the only window I had, it was when I was doing very very cataly. I just was so fucking busy. So if I didn't do it, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Totally. But how important is that? And it sets your entire. I think it honestly saved me. No, that phase of my life. 100%. Yeah. Right. And you make those tweaks for those adjustments. I also, I'm very lucky and I don't take it for granted, but my parents, Oliver's grandparents, come on every Saturday for a few hours. And I like, I love my parents, but that is their time with him. And I, you know, 17 errands brunch with a friend. Like, I'll walk on the street alone, just smiling, you know, like. And honestly, just to have a minute. And honestly, I do shit like this. I get to show up and be with my best friend for 24 hours. Luckily, Oliver has, you know, we have. of an amazing support system. But like, this is the stuff that I know if I don't do. Like, that's where I start to lose myself. And I start to think about like all the things that I'm like

missing. So I just prioritize it. And I figure it out a way to to do it. And I know how important it is to me and getting this time with like people I love, you know. Well, and I think that's important to acknowledge as well because I think for so many moms, it's like, no, I do it all myself. And I don't have help. And you don't get a medal. You do not get a metal. Like, like, you. Everyone should be leaning on people where they can, whether it's family or hired help or whatever it is. Because again, it makes you a better mom. Totally. Everyone needs a break.

Right. Everybody. I don't care who the hell you are. Even if you were born to be a mom and you thrive and this is, I don't care. Everyone needs a break. Like, like, like, 9,000 percent. Right. And I do recognize that not everyone has the same support system or the ability to lean into that.

But like, figure out a way to get those moments for yourself. And it takes, yeah, I was insane. It takes the village and like, you have to build your village. And you have to like, I, from the beginning, you know, I remember that weird again moment of like people being like, oh, he's already, your babysitters are right. I'm like, yeah. Like I need to protect all of the things that are important to me and my relationship and me as a human to show up for that man every day is the best version of myself.

And part of that is getting babysitters, you know? And I balance out. Yeah, like there's a cost to it, you know, like. And again, I don't take any of that for granted. it, but I, that time is invaluable to me to be able to like do whatever else I need to do to stay full and fulfilled. And so that you don't end up resenting Oliver. Oh my God. That's my, that is, babe, like, that's my biggest fear is to ever project that on him. Exactly. He doesn't deserve that. He deserves. Pick up on energy, right? That is, that is wild. Yep. I make like a sad face now

when he looks at me and he's like, oh. Yeah, I don't cry, babe. I'm fine. You do. They pick up. You know what also too I've been learning is like, they, pick up everything in your stomach too. What? And now I'm like, what was I thinking and feeling when all my kids were in my stomach? I'm like, did I fuck them up? Wait, that's. Yeah.

My hypnotherapist told me this actually on the podcast. She said it's like there's not like baby and you. It's one. Whoa. Yeah. I know. I'm like, the knowledge I have today. I'm like, I kind of wish I could go back and redo it.

That I think about it all the time. When you were when you were that. But again, the more you know is it always like. True. I mean, people ask me to send you. I don't know if you've ever seen it. And I honestly don't know if you would still be best ones with me after. But I created, oh no.

I curated a Google document with 17 tabs of all of like, you know, everyone has their favorite swaddle. Like everyone has, you know, their favorite diaper pail that doesn't smell. They all smell like shit. But I like the diaper genie. No, did it. I'm like, perfect. I took in all this information from all of my friends. to my community, my village. And I curated and aggregated into a document. And if you open it,

you're like, she needs help. But it felt like before I had Oliver, I felt like educated and informed to make whatever decision I wanted to. And now I think I'm probably going to like download it, have people pay for it. I'll donate all the money to charity. Literally, it's like, it just sits there and I sometimes send it to people. I'm like, don't judge. But it's like, listen, like having those tools that education, some of it is too much. Or everyone thinks that like their, their knowledge is fact. I never say that. I'm like, I curated this list for you. And then I have some favorites. And I think it's helpful. But I do think back in the day when you were mom, like the fact that you didn't have all that flooding in at you. That's, yeah. Maybe it's a lot. It's a lot. Simpler times. Right. That's true. Like our

parents, they weren't like. They didn't have jack shit. Worried about all this shit. That I, you know what? I was never a worrying. I was like germs. I don't give a shit. Eat the dirt off the floor like I never just bring it a little protein in there dirt off the floor babe no and I think there I think there is something to be said about I agree with that you know yeah now I'm like hyper I have friends though that were like sanitizing everything and then I was just like what my god like what I just like well I just think about even us now you know it's like everyone has allergies like you I know I just want to do what's best for him and if there is information out there to help me you know give him the best life today And in the future, it's like, well, I can't ignore that.

Right. But then I'm like, it's a lot. It's information overload. And our whole world is now. I was going to say our entire world. But the products, that's great. Because like, people will even ask me and I'm like, bro, I've been out of the baby game for a minute.

All the clean products that are out there. Like, there's some amazing, right? And that way, like I recognize and celebrate that, but it's still a lot. It's still like. It's information overload for sure. Being thrown at you. And at the end of the day, they're all going to be okay. They're all going to be okay.

It doesn't matter what you do. They're all going to be okay. We were talking about that earlier, too, because even me, I was like, Oliver's not moving. And I, and I, and I, everyone said he has to do X, Y, Z by 4. It's like, they're even changing now, which like gives me, I'm like, oh, okay. They're changing a lot of the benchmarks because those benchmarks, like, really fuck with you. Because everyone's different. Because everyone's different.

And like, and like, and they're all going to be okay. Like, your baby doesn't talk today. They'll talk tomorrow. Maybe they're just so, I want to. Maybe they, yeah, maybe they don't have anything to see right now. Right. Right. We're just taking it all in.

This is a big world. It's a big world. They're just taking it all in. But also I'm saying this all due, and I was like totally sicko about like everything. Like he's, he was a, he was a big man. And he just like, it's harder to get that body moving. Yeah, Larry, he's just, he's fine. It's okay.

How are you as a mom? Are you? Oh, babe. Why don't you tell me? No, I'm kidding. Don't ask my husband this question. Yeah, let's call David. Please finish.

Phone a friend. Phone a friend. Are you, do you worry about shit or are you kind of laid back? I wouldn't use the words laid back. I don't know if I would like, I wouldn't use those. is my leading words to describe myself. I would say I'm not, I don't think I'm a full warrior

or like totally nervous all the time, but I do feel like I am. Hard stress case. Yeah, I'm just, no, I'm really trying to think about it. I don't think, I think it just goes back to like the not knowing. It just doesn't sit well with me.

You want to get, so I'm very organized. I'm very, I love like, you know, reading, learning. But I like, I think I'm, I think I'm like, Middle of the road. Okay. Okay. I like that. So like I think I think I have room to grow in terms of my like laid backness. But yeah, I don't. The first one's also hard too because it's like you're figuring this out as you go. That part is. That part is. I like I do believe if this was like my, you know,

my second I think I would be like, okay, I've got this a little bit more. But I do think that I, not worry, but I think I'm always, I question a lot. Like did I do that right? Is this the right time to do so? And then I ask a lot of questions to the people around me, which is fine. And then I come back to myself and I'm like, what do you think? I've talked to myself a lot. Well, good. No, that's good because that's the thing. Everyone has an opinion. And again, I think only the mom knows best. Totally. Yeah. Like trusting my intuition and my gut I'm working on as well. It's all a work in progress, babe. But I do think I, I tried to be as even, like, you said it. Like, I know that he feeds off my energy. And he's like a little wild right now. So I'm like, Stephanie Bogle,

you have to stay calm because maybe he's wild because you're wild. Like, we don't really know. They mirror our nervous system. Or he, you know. Yeah. Okay. Well, so it's interesting because, like, Jackson is in sixth grade. He's 11 and he still sleeps with me. And by the way, I've, he, I'm okay to talk about this on the podcast. I now have to ask them what I can or can't say on the podcast. Oh, that's amazing. Okay. Because it's become headlines and it's been a thing. So he's cool with this. So he's cool with this. So I'm not saying anything I don't know. Yeah, exactly. But so and, you know, I was always, and he's always wanted for four years straight when he was little. He was always coming in my bedroom. And it was like, what the hell is going on? kids, when they're little, they don't always know how to calm their own nervous system. So when they sleep with a parent, they can regulate with the parent. So like when he sleeps with me, he's out immediately. But like he hates being alone in his own room and like, totally. So it's just interesting that kids really do mirror you. It's your energy, your nervous system. It's the whole thing. Right. And then now, like I think it's, I actually think it's the most magical thing in the world.

But I remember like everyone being like, don't let him sleep in your bed because then they'll sleep. Keep sleeping around. But I'm also like really jealous of your cuddles. So I mean, listen, I think, I never, like, co-slept with Jackson, like, ever. That's actually the craziest thing. What age... Right. And when he would come in my room every night, it was probably when he could, when he finally got out of his crib and he could walk.

So I think, like, a year and a half, for four or five years, I'm not kidding, every night he came in my room. We would bring him back sometimes, but I'd be so fucking tired half the time. Right. You're like, get in. I don't, okay. He's always had fomo. Like, he hates being alone.

He has, like, legit. Oh, my God. He always has. And clearly holds true. The kid's 11. He's always been like this. Right. And so...

I feel like he hangs longer than I do. Oh, God. And he always wants to be with his friends. Like, he cannot be alone this kid. But then he was sharing a room with Cam for a minute. So, like, poor Cam would have to take the brunt of it. And then, and then he was okay on his own for a while. But then, I don't know.

Since I've been in this house, no, I say that. My last house, since my divorce, he's basically been... I was going to say. And there was a period where I was like, okay, guys, him and Saler, we used to switch off night. That's what I didn't know if that was approved by Saylor. So I didn't want to bring that off. She doesn't sleep with me anymore. Okay, great.

So it's approved. Okay. So they used a switch off nights. And then at one point I'll see you guys, I can't do this. Like I also need my own bed, right? Like I think after I got them more, I was like, guys, I can't every night. Right. But it's Jackson has wheezzled his way back in every night.

I like there was, I remember like sleeping over one I don't want a near old house. And like I saw him with his like blanket. He was like sneaking in with his blanket. And I was like, I see you. He's like, good night. Oh my God. It's so, it's honestly. Like it's so special.

I love it because he's in middle. school, there's going to be a day where he wants nothing to fucking do with me. Actually, I don't believe that. I was going to say, I'm not sure about that one. But he'll never want to sleep with me. Once he hits puberty, really, he won't want to sleep with me. Maybe. Okay, so I know what's coming to.

Like, I couldn't pay Camden to sleep with me. I know. I would like, I was going to say. I know. Cam's like, you sleep with mom? Yeah, right. I was going to say he gives him shit. Right.

But it was cute when they would switch off. I'm like, Camden, do want to just get involved in this? I know. I'm surprised some nights when we get home that, like, David doesn't, like, get in the crib with Oliver. But like, I'm sure there'll be a night, so stay tuned. Has he ever slept with you guys? No. Like, there's been a couple nights. Like, where he would wake up in the middle of the night, we'll bring him in. And he doesn't even like, I'm like, lay, lay with me. Cuttle. Party time. No. Now he started to get a little bit more cuddly. Like, we'll do like, you know,

snack time or we'll sit on the couch for like, you know, seven to 12 minutes because that's like the increments. We're going on in some very hard side tangent, but very important. Because I just need the world to know that I'm like, if we want to talk about anxious, I'm anxious, we're taking him on an airplane. He hasn't been on an airplane. He hasn't been on an airplane. in a while. Oh, it's a tough age right now for an airplane. Not the best age for an airplane. Yeah.

And like, listen, everyone can judge, you know, you do you. Florida in January. And like truly this age. Like, he doesn't sit still. He does every thing for seven to 11. Take off and landing at this age. Good fucking love. Okay.

Thank you. A pack of Band-Aids was a lifesaver for my kids because my kids used to love opening up every Band-Aid and like putting them on shit. Oh, great. So like stickers. It's a modern-day sticker. But Band-Aids. I will take any recommendations.

And obviously, everyone has different opinions on screen time. Like, I'm, I need to survive and I need to get there. Screen time on planes, I think is a okay. Totally. But I just want you to know that like, like, there will be a, you know, a moment where I'm like, oh, right, like three and a half hours to Florida divided by seven minutes. Like, what are we, how are we going to survive? How are you nervous system. Okay. So you picks up on your energy. Cool. I'm going to do like there. I remember a, actually, I think it was when we moved to Nashville full time. I was, Jay drove with the boys and I flew with sailor because she was a year and a half. So it's similar to all of her. It's only an

hour flight, takeoff and landing. She's screaming because she had to sit in her seat. Yeah. Okay. Great. Yeah. She wanted . You were restraining her. I was like, oh my. Like it's going to be fine. They don't understand it at that age. Someone said to me the other day like and I was like, no, no, no. Like he doesn't, it's not like I could be like, hey dude, like this is the time when we lay on the plate. You know, he would look at me. But I remember, I think someone said to me, I mean, there was, I think, it was, like, maybe six months. And he cried for what I think was 10 minutes. I thought that that kid was crying for four hours. Like the worst. I felt my inside, like, I, like, look to David and I feel like he's way, way more calm. And I wouldn't even say, like, late back, just, you know, his nervous system in mind, very different. Yeah, it's more regulated. He doesn't have an aura ring, so we're not sure. We'll follow up with you on that.

But, like, I swear to you, babe, like, those minutes, like, I'm like, please, like, I'm like, talking in my head to him being like, if you love me, like, could you just like, stop? God, if you're real. But it's, no, and you feel like, everyone. No, but it's no, and you feel like everyone is doing you. Everyone's looking at you. Everyone hates you. So now when I'm on a plane with a mom that has a crying baby, I have so much empathy. Oh my God. And I was like, oh, we've all been there. Like, oh, like, I know. It's all, like, no one's all good. Right. Right. You can't treat them like, like, the villain. Oh, my God. There's nothing where you're stuck. You're, like, trapped. The one time. I only had like one, like, really bad flight that I remember. It was Camden and he was the best baby. But he was little and he didn't feel well. And we were going from Chicago to L.A. This kid was crying and crying. He had projected. He had. objectile vomit all over me, all over him, all over the plane. He's crying. I did not have a change

of clothes for him or me. I usually was always so good at this. Nothing. Just puke. You just sat there in his puke? Just smelled like shit. And the flight attendant was like trying to, they have like some powder they can put on it, I guess. Didn't matter. And just crying the whole, the whole landing. Okay. Maybe we should have talked about this because like I would say that my anxiety isn't lower than when it, when we started talking about this. So thank you. It was, he was so sick. Yeah. I didn't know he was this.

He like got sick on the plane. I feel like everyone has that story of like explosive like, you know, poop. I'm like, okay, yeah. I'm not at Target one time with Sailor. Up her back. Again, no, I usually always. I just like, babe. No change of clothes.

Shit all up her back. I took her and it was on the way to Target. I still took her and went shopping. Babe. I didn't give a phone. You went shopping. We went shopping with smelling like shit. Did you buy her new clothes?

Probably. I love that. You're like, I always was prepared. Like these like two times. Always. For the two most traumatic times. You said something though that like it's not triggering to me, but it's something that I like and talk a lot about with friends is like everyone.

It's the same way when people say like, you know, don't ask someone if they're pregnant or if they're trying, right? Like hello, hi, right? Yeah. And then the craziest. And I feel like I talked about this with you a ton, but like in the first three months of, you know, his life ever was like, is he sleeping? I'm like, fuck off. Right.

And now. And now everyone's like, is he a good baby? And I get really like, I just want to normalize maybe not asking that question because Like, what is a good baby? Like, well, and by the way, with the first, you have no point of reference. I'm like, I'm like, what am I giving? Am I giving him a goal? Like, what do we rate? What's the scale? What are we rating this on? Right. Like, Camden, now I know after having two more. Camden was the best baby. I had no idea. Right. So like, I actually thought he was hard because he was my first. Like, like, right? You don't know. You don't know. And I just like,

it makes me feel like, am I a bad? Like, what if I say, like, I tell you, he's complicated. Like, yeah. He's, he's a baby. He's a baby. Right? Like he cries. He like doesn't love putting on his jacket. Like he went through a stage where he hated putting on his diaper and he would walk around and like pull it off and then, you know, pee all over the floor. It was great. Like does that make him a bad baby? I'm just like, when people ask that, I'd like give them dirty looks typically. And then I'm like, what does that mean? And then maybe like don't ask me that. And then I smile and I'm like, he's a fun man. Like, leave me alone. Leave me alone. I know. You're right. I like that's a good point. Stop asking us of our fucking babies. Is he a good baby? Am I going to keep? Yeah, I love him. Yeah, like, I'm going to keep him. No, he's horrible. I hate him. I was going to say. Like, he's the worst.

I hate him. Do people actually, like, I actually would love to meet someone who is like, he's terrible. Well, I'll tell you what. Jackson was a really hard baby. And I have so hard for you. But by the way, and that made me go, God, Cameron was really good. Right. I was insane.

You know, but Jackson was tough. What, like, give me an example. Now I'm like doing, now I'm reading. Jackson had really bad eczema. So I think he was always uncomfortable. So the kid was always unhappy. Right. Like, he was like, he would only take 30 minute naps.

I'd be like, Oliver only takes 30 minutes? He did. And then we now, that's, that was hard. That was not my favorite. That was not. He couldn't like, okay, I don't actually know. He couldn't connect his sleep cycle.

I would pee, like, maybe like stare at my pimples in the mirror. Like, I mean, I would do the weirdest things because I knew I had like 28 minutes, like, whatever it was. Because like, like, and he wasn't connecting his sleep. And like that, babe, oh my God. Everyone's like, yeah, he'll grow up. Or maybe he won't be a good nap. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like, he has to.

And once we drop. to one nap again. Like, I didn't know what I was doing. I think once we dropped. We dropped. Now he takes like a two hour nap. But when he wakes up, I'm like, you're a good man. But babe, it was 30 minute naps. It was three 30 minute naps. I'd be like, no matter what. This isn't this kid. This doesn't work. Jackson had FOMO. He was like, I'm ready. Wait, actually. He's like 30 minutes. Come get me. I took a power now. I'm like, okay. Wait, babe, I'd never thought about that. That's like, for him, it was FOMO. Oliver, I don't know. He was like terrorizing me. It's fine. Maybe he was being a bad man. He was being bad.

bad. But you're... Everyone's different. That X amount right. Like you're like... He was uncomfortable and he just would throw fits. And they can't tell you how they're feeling. Right.

It was just hard. Sailor also can throw a fit with the best of them. But Sailor's me. She's payback. Oh, that's the other thing. When you have kids, you finally appreciate your parents. Oh, 100%. Oh my God.

I don't even think I say it enough. But I'm like, I get you. I feel so bad with my mom. I see you. I know. You're the fucking best. Yeah. Oh my God.

Juster's the best. Mo Mo. We call Monica Momo. That's very cute. If she ever listens to this, she wanted to be called. Are you ready? Yes. Have I told you?

I think I know this. So my mom, you know, a lot of grandparents come up with their own. Yeah, they have their names. Right. They're not just like necessarily, grandpa, grandma. Fine. But I feel like a lot of times the kids come up with the names because they can't say it, whatever. Yes.

But Momo, aka my mother, came in one day and she was like, I've got it. We're like, okay. She's like, I want Oliver to call me sugar. Oh, yeah. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

Can you imagine, it's like a little bit like a stripper, like porn star. And can you imagine Oliver being like, come over sugar? Like, I'm excited to see sugar. I can't wait to see sugar later. I cannot. So we said like, how'd you say no? Kindly, we said no. We said, fuck no.

We're like, come up with a name that like Oliver can say that isn't like he's like a sexual porn star. Oh my God. So just so you know, sugar. Sometimes my friends will call her sugar. I thought. That's good. But oh my God.

Shout out to sugar. Shout out sugar. We love you, Shug. And just to make it worse, like, now Oliver's like, says pops way more. And my mom's like, Oliver. Like, it's about me. Because it's easier. It's way easier.

And Momo and Mama are very, I'm like, Mom, could you have come up with the name that maybe isn't the same as like, Mom? Here we are. What about? I don't even know the kids. I think, I think it's just grandma or. I think she, I think Judy's grandma. Yeah. I was going to say, we don't do.

She doesn't need anything. She's classic. She's the best. I love her so much. Shout out to the mom. Shout out to moms. They have two of the best moms on the planet. We are so lucky.

Like 1,000 percent. So, so lucky. And it really makes like, yeah, it makes such a difference. And I do really try to, I think about all the things for me, like, growing up. Like, they always, always told me that they loved me. And we used every day after, how was your day? And I'd get really annoyed with them. And now I'm like, oh my God.

You get it now. Oliver, we will do that. You get it now. We'll do that. Oh, this is also another little tip. So, and this is you can bank for the future. I was like, you've been holding out on me. So when they come on from school, you know, it's like the classic thing.

Like, how was your day? And they like hate it. They're like so annoyed. So what I started doing is asking them a random-ass question. Like the other day I was like, who pissed you off today? Like what was the word? Like, they were excited to answer. Yeah.

So then they're like, oh, and then they think about it and they tell you. So instead of just being robotic, how is you? Tell me about your day. Make them think of like what hat. Like give me the tea. Wow. Babe, I love that. Yeah.

I'm going to start, I'll start writing my questions down in advance so that I'm ready. By the time Oliver's like, yeah, I'm going to be so prepared. In 10 years. I love. Honestly, can you not hold back on any of those like other. I'll keep giving you all the nuggets. All the secret sauce. I love it.

I love you. I love you so much. You are the best. It's always so fun having you on the pod. And we're about to go have a dinner party. Yeah, we are. We're going to go drink some tequila. Cheers.

Yeah, darling. Cheers. Love you. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.