Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - Do I Want to Makeout With This Person? With Justin Anderson

Episode Date: October 21, 2025

Justin is back to discuss this new wave of dating I'm in. It's been a minute since I've been on dates, so I'm catching you guys up on the latest antics. From manifesting a sports coach into my life, to what made me delete Raya, to meeting men in the wild, and to dating someone that could be my "red string theory".A word from my sponsors:Quince - Go to Quince.com/honest for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Wayfair - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.Hiya - Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hiyahealth.com/HONEST.ZipRecruiter - 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And right now, you can try it FOR FREE at ZipRecruiter.com/HONEST.Cymbiotika - Go to Cymbiotika.com/Honest for 20% off plus free shipping.Armra - Go to armra.com/HONEST or enter HONEST to get 30% off your first subscription order.NOCD - Go to NOCD.com and book a free 15-minute call today to learn more about how they can helpFor more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavalery, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Guess I was back! This is the first time you've been in the podcast studio, is crazy to me. Yeah. I mean, I came in and peeked at it like as it was in the process,

but I haven't seen it done. It looks so good. You haven't taped in here yet. So welcome. Thank you. I'm so happy to be back. You know what's so funny is. So I just got back from Laguna. I filmed the Laguna Beach reunion, which was awesome. So between that and now you being here, I just feel like the world is healing. I know. The world is healing. Like you're back on the pod. Lauren and I are friends. I wish we could just go so deep into that. But you got needs a whole podcast. podcast the Laguna experience. I know. And I don't even know what I'm allowed to say or not say. So we'll have to just table that. But overall, it was very positive. It was such a great time. Cathartic even. I really, I'm not trying to be cheesy, but like it really was healing in a lot of ways.

It was very therapeutic. And I think it's funny because if I'm being completely honest, I didn't actually want to do it. And no, I did not want to do it. We talked about it so much before it. You did not want to do it. I didn't want to do it. And I'm really, really happy that I did. It was such a great experience. And just a nice I think to end the whole, like, Laguna Beach of it all. It wouldn't have happened if you didn't do it. You're sweet. It was going to happen. Really?

Yeah, they were going to do it. Oh, they would get like a body double? Yeah. Your clone. They were going to have you fill in. You would actually kill it. Oh, my God. I could.

I would know all your mannerism. You would crush all the lines. But I would be like 2006, Kristen. I would come in like. Ratchett. Sassy as fuck extension showing. Yeah. 15 pounds heavier.

But that's going to come out in the spring, I think April. But TBD on that, I'll keep everyone posted. But so to- Such a comfortable couch, by the way. I love that for you. Kristen, this is like very, you know, like a lot of times you do podcasts and you're still like stiff and rigid. Like, I'm so comfortable, bro.

I love that. I'm going to hang out. You should get a TV in here. I'll just come over when we have like movie nights on my own. You should try this chair too because this one's also nice. Also, by the way, I wish that you could just do a show off of this house. It's so special. Wait, what do you mean?

Oh, show off the house. Yeah, like, I wish you could do like a, they did cribs here. I know. Cribs here. Oh, they did cribs in your last house. I know, whatever. You guys, this house is so magical. We're in the guest house.

They're building the pool house. The pool is fantastic. I mean, right now, though, the yard is basically just like a big mud pit because. An expensive mud pit. Yeah, actually. When I look around, I was like, money, I know how much things cost when you do like a little remodel. It's insane.

Landscaping will get you. I'm like, I'm sorry, what? How much is it? But I want to show you before. leave, I want to take you in the back because they've started planting back there and it looks so pretty already. You have to pay for all those trees and everything. Yeah. And you know, she owns like half of Tennessee. This property's so weird. It really is. Oh my God. No, it's it's a big piece of property. We love it. I love it here. I'm very thankful. But okay, that's not what we're here to

talk about. Neither here nor there. Neither here nor there, Justin. Actually, I want you to buy some of my land and build my house on it. I know. We talked about that. We have like, like it would just be my absolute dream to like live in your butthole basically I want to be around you at all times but we talked about at one point because I wanted to move further out here yeah that's my biggest kick me is that when we bought our house here they convinced me to live closer to downtown and it's so stupid that we did that because I never go downtown I know everything I do I head out this way so I wish I did out here so at one point we were like oh I'll buy a little piece of property on your property I mean, we could still do it.

You could be on the other end of the property. I would never even know you were there. I was thinking today, too, as I was driving here, just every time I see like a little kid, you know. But I was thinking about that if we did live together. And I was like, I'm very much, I like my privacy instead, but you are the kind of person. I'm not just saying this, obviously.

Like, you and I are so good. Like, we know our balance. Totally. When we hang out, we can be quiet together. We can gab nonstop. And we can leave each other alone. We'd actually be the friends that could live on the same property. I'd maybe not see you for a few days. It's so true. That's why we're so good at

traveling together because we just were always in the same energy and we just like, we just gel. I mean, that's what makes a really good friend, a good friend, especially as you get older. You have to understand. Friendships are like a dance, like a relationship. You have to like understand your best friend. It's so true. Yeah. So I'll move it next week. Yeah, perfect. Great. An attempt to start. Just see how you like it. Hello, Winnipego. I was looking at motor homes. No, that's like the all the rage right now. Oh, really? Yeah, even my mom wanted to get him or my mom did for a while get a motor home and they like cruised around the country. It's so genius. Scoot and I almost went and looked at him this weekend. We really want to get a big RV. No, because then that means you'd be gone all the time.

Who's driving, by the way? Not me. Although I am such a good driver, but like I am a passenger princess beyond since scoot and I've been together. And here's the thing. I don't ever trust people to drive. But like, you know what's so funny, I really am comfortable with you driving and I'm comfortable with scoot. It's because I know you guys love me. You don't want to lose me. Both people I don't trust them. I'm like, you get a car wreck. I don't trust the old driving. You're the feminine in our relationship. My little passenger princess. Well, speaking of that, so we are going to talk about my dating life, which I can. Shocker. No. No, every time you and I get together. Bringing the big dog. Yeah, I need Justin. I need him for this. I don't know the last time I talked about my dating life,

probably because you guys, my dating life was non-existent this whole year until recently. And now it's really picked back up and I'm really excited about it. So I really didn't date at all the first I don't remember one or eight months of the year. Like I really, and I was intentional about it because

leading up to the podcast tour, I didn't want any distractions. And then, honestly, it was just kind of nice. And I was just in a mode of wanting to be alone and just focus on work and kids. And then it's so funny because I literally, truly said to myself. I said, or well, myself, the universe. I said, I'm ready to go on a date. I'm ready to go on a date. And the next day, I got a phone call from my agent who set me up with a coach. And which is also funny because Patty Stinger came on my podcast and she was like, you know, you should date a, you should go out with coaches.

Wait, but when you said coach, you mean like an actual like a, because I know what you're going at, but I was for a second, I was thinking dating coach like Patty Stanger. Oh, sorry. Okay. An athletic coach, like a professional coach of a professional team. Yeah, and I'm not going to say... No, don't say his name. It's not even... No, I'm not going to say his name.

I'm not even going to say which sport because I just... I know people could narrow it down and there's just no point. But anyways, I just... He's a big one, though. He's a big deal. I mean, I learned that once I... Well, me too. I didn't know who he was.

But Patty Stinger was like, you should go out with coaches. And I was like, I know, some of them are hot, blah, blah, blah. And then literally, I think it was like a couple weeks after that episode. aired and I said to the universe I'm ready to go on a date that's what happened I like manifested that into my life so CIA my agency yeah they set it up so he is represented at CIA I also am and so our two agents made it happen and he flew to Nashville he took me to dinner such a great guy like really really good guy I think what happened there was it just wasn't right I think like I know after the first date if I if I'm going to like someone or

or not. And I was trying, remember I was like trying to make it work and I kept talking to him and I was going to see him again. And then everything in me was telling me not to. And I think if you can really tune in with your body and listen to your body, as soon as I told him, hey, like I'm not all in. You know, I think you're great. Blah, blah, blah. I felt a lot better. Like my whole body relaxed. Remember I did that in Cabo? Yeah. I was just going to say because you went on the date with them. We'd been talking about it. Then right after the date, you came and met Scoot and I in Cabo. And then we really talked about it. And you are so good with that.

Like, you know, like, you feel it in your body. And the minute you break it off with somebody, I see you like change. Like, we went to dinner that night and you're like yourself or whatever. And it wasn't because anything about him was weird. You actually really liked him as a person and everything. But like, you can't fake it. And I think a lot of girls kind of can. Like, oh, just keep flirting with him because it's fun.

You don't want to do that. You know what it is? It's when I'm out of alignment, like, for what is meant for me, everything in my body screams at me. And I've just learned over the years how to like really trust it and tune in with it. But you know what?

I think it was too because he is such a good guy and like it's not like we didn't have a bad time. Like I enjoyed talking to him but I think because it was my first date in so long I was like oh I should I should you know try like really like give this 100%

and I just I don't know it just wasn't right. But when you say like you're looking for the immediate spark type thing and it's not there. Is it conversation, like the fun rifting back and forth? Is it being like, oh, wow, this person, I could learn a lot from this person or is it

like you don't want to, um. So, yeah, because I can go to dinner with anyone and have a good, yeah, you're a conversation. Yeah, like I can talk to anyone. Literally. And so, no, for me, but it, I do like when I can learn from people, but for me, it's really like, do I want to make out with this person? Yeah. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

No, I mean, that's because for me, that's the hardest piece to find. Like, I can talk to anyone. I can learn from people. I think a lot of men are interesting and I enjoy spending time with men. Like, I have a lot of good guy friends. But, like, it's so rare that I want to have sex with someone. You know what he's so funny is you on one of those where you can't see them dating show. Love is blind.

Yeah, I know, because you know what I would know. You'd fall in love with everyone. Everyone. And then I would see them and be like, oh, no. What have I done? I would be like, shit. No, I don't like you. Which is okay, because physical attraction is so real.

I don't care what anyone says, like, when they say, like, oh, you, I do believe that you can get to know somebody. But usually it's people who aren't that good look at you say that. No, you know what? No, here's what it is. Oh, my God, I love you for that. No, here's what it is because personality can make someone really attractive. And, like, I may find people really hot who you don't because there's that attraction there. And attraction's different.

for everyone and so like and I think about some of the guys who I have dated over the years if I saw them on a dating app I would not have liked them like that we talk about that yeah because you'll show me pictures and I'll be like Kristen know like I's so cute you've got to you know and you really do know immediate like you're no like when we will swipe on the dating apps my favorite game in the world like I basically make you do it like you'll be override I'm like please pull it out like let's just swipe because I have so much fun and you're like no no no I'm like no he's so I know. I'm so bad at it. Well, okay.

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subscription order. That's A-R-M-R-A dot com slash honest. Okay, but speaking of Raya, so I did just delete Raya and I made sure it was actually deleted because two years ago I thought I deleted it and I didn't. You have to like actually email them and be like, hey, remove my account. Which is actually something you should like talk about right now because I feel like some of people get into scandals where they're like, you're right. Yeah. People are like so and so is in a relationship and they're still on Raya.

I can guarantee those people think that they deleted their account because I thought I deleted mine two years ago and then I got back on and two of the people that I saw, started talking to said that they had seen my profile while I thought it was deleted. So your picture was being shared. So you could have been in a very serious relationship. And I was. Yeah. And so I've seen a few celebrities get in trouble for stuff like that. Yeah. Where they say that they're on there. And so that's a good thing to know. Yeah. So if you want to delete your Raya account, you have to actually email them. Okay. But so what happened was I think I know, no, you know what? That's just so funny. I was actually going to

delete my Raya account and I saw the age preference button. So I switched it. Because I think it went up to 45 and I switched it to 50. And then it was like a whole new riot. You were so excited about that. And I was so excited because I've always said that you need kind of 50. I know. I think 50 is like kind of a magical age for you. I think 50 would be good.

I am definitely open to 50. Kids are older. They have their own money. They're not trying to like get in your purse. In your purse. Your purse and your pants. I'm so afraid of people trying to get their purse in their pants too soon. You know?

The Pee. And a lot of the guys in that 45 to 50 range were actually better looking than like the 40 to 45 range. That's kind of actually you're tight. Oh my God. You're right. When we talk about hot guys, you're right. You always kind of say the 45 to 50 year old guy.

You're right. I mean, yeah, a lot. Like a little weathered. Yeah. Like a little. And just like that real man. Yeah, they've had some life on them. It's like super manly.

Yeah, they've been out on the Oregon Trail. Yeah. Oh my goodness. So I matched with this one very attractive man. Sexy, sexy, retired athlete. I think he's in finance now. I was like, oh, this is like, everything's clicking. And he DM'd me first.

And then there was like a little back and forth, but I was really the one to keep the conversation going. And then he, so he never once asked me a question, never once asked me one question. So I purposely didn't ask him a question. I just said how much we have in common because, like, he was in the OC at one point. Like, there were like a lot of overlaps kind of. You said that? I said we have a lot in common. But I purposely didn't ask a question because I had been asking a question like the two previous times to keep it going.

So then he went quiet for almost a full day. And then he said, yeah, we do. We should meet soon. Didn't ask me one question about myself. Oh, so he wanted you to like Katie Couricam. Like, unless you were interviewing him. him. He would go quiet. Yeah. So he's waiting for the next question rather than asking you question. Yeah. Didn't ask me one. Oh, but you think we should meet. Why? You know nothing about

me, sir. Why do you want to meet up with me? I mean, isn't that like the biggest indicator of narcissism? We talk about all the time. But it really is. It's those people like, you've been at like dinners too where like you're, you realize you're like, oh, this person asked me one thing about myself. Yep. Yep. Not one thing. It's so weird. Such a red flag for me with dating with men is like, Because listen, and I think at one point, you were like, well, you know, like, that's his age. Like, they probably aren't like good at texting. Okay, yes, but also it's the world we live in today. And if you're on fucking Raya, well, let me explain something to you, sir.

You actually have to have a little back and forth and ask a couple questions. Yeah, that's also giving like a lot of credit. That's just like human nature. If you're a normal human and you're talking to another human, it's a back and forth. Yeah. It's not just like, ask me things. I know. you want to talk about yourself the whole time.

That's so gross. Especially for a man. Like, I'm, like, hunting you right now. Like, what? Little bitch. So I just ghosted him. And then I actually... I wonder, it's like, yeah, we don't have to worry about him, but it's like, do these...

Well, he'll find someone who's obsessed with him no matter what. And he'll find, like, a little flower wallflower. He will. Because there's been a couple other guys actually that's happened with on Riot, and they're always the best-looking guys. And I think it's because they haven't had to... put any effort in and a couple of the guys, because then I will just ghost them, then they'll reach back out and ask me a question. I'm like, nope, at that point, I'm done. I'm done. But so I did

end up deleting Raya, so I made sure of it. So I'm really happy. And I really am manifesting meeting someone in real life. Like that's just how I wanted to go down for me. I know a lot of people do me like no more AI. Yeah, no more AI models coming my way. And so. Physically meeting them in real life. Physically meeting them in real life. Having to be organic. Yes. And that's actually, So that's happened. So, yes. Can I say something interesting? It's so funny because that's how you started the whole online dating.

You hated the idea of online dating. And I'm proud of you for trying it. You tried it. You had some good experiences. You learned things from it. Also, it's wonderful. I think after a divorce, when you have years before you get into your next relationship, I think it is wonderful to try a bunch of different relationships.

Me too. And me tons of different people because you learn about them. And what you want, ultimately. And so I think it's great. And I think that Raya kind of provided that because you're not out on the town. You're not going out to bars and clubs. No. You know what's so funny, though, is so we always talk about this thing in Tennessee.

It's just impossible here. Everyone's married or, you know, whatever. Every time you go to L.A., you meet five guys. I know. Because it's like L.A. and New York. And I've always said this, you know, we need to like do more of our New York trips and spend a little bit more time going to the bars. And I should sit in the corner. Yeah.

But every time you go to California, Kristen, five guys are reaching. You're so right. It's just, it is a geographical thing too. Yeah, it is. It is. Because, yeah, everyone's married here, which is so funny when I tell people that it's like nearly impossible to date here because everyone's like, what do you mean? Like, aren't there the cowboys everywhere?

I'm like, no, it's not like that. And if they are, they're married, you know, that they, most cowboys don't get divorced. You know, they hang on to their lady. That is true. You know, they're married to the farm. You know, what's so funny, though, is I really do think how you think and feel really makes a difference in your life because for a long time I was like there's no one I'm never going to meet so I never really thought like I'm never going to meet someone but I was like there's

no one in Tennessee I like definitely thought that and since I sort of switched it and been like I'm going to meet someone in real life like it could happen at the grocery store could happen anywhere I have seen so many hot guys even in Tennessee where now I'm like wow there's an abundance of great men out there and I just and I keep being reminded of that and so deleted raya and I have met a couple in the wild. Wow. In your yard? In the yard.

Well, there are a lot of workers right now. I probably should go outside more. So I was in L.A. I don't know. A month and a half ago. And this is funny too. So the week before I came, I'm not in L.A. that much anymore.

But my friend Nick, who I've known since I was 18, texted me and he said, hey, are you going to be in town September 6th or whatever it was? And I was like, actually, yeah, I am. Funny you ask. And he was like, I'm,

going to the Oasis concert with a bunch of people you should come. And I was like, fuck it. Why not? Okay. So I go to the Oasis concert with a whole group of people.

These are all people that I used to hang out with in my early 20s. So it was very fun. Yes, like, I brought one of my best friends, Sharr. And it was like,

our friend Nick and Nico and just like all of these guys that we used to hang out with. And there was this one guy there who I thought was super cute. And we immediately like started flirting flirting and hanging out. And it was like, so fun.

So fun. So fun. It's so fun. Wait, so you show up to the concert. You see the group that you're meeting. Okay, no. Okay, so we go to Nick's house first. Oh, I love this.

It's like you're in high school again, like a high school party. No, literally. You don't get those experiences as an adult. I know, it's so fun. So Sharr and I go to Nick's house. It's Nick and then two of his friends. And one of the friends is this guy. And I was like, this guy is so cute.

And we're like flirting and we're talking. And the whole thing, we're like linking arms, like walking into Oasis. We like all got this party. best and went to Oasis. So then what happened was there was some drama with the tickets. And half of the group got split up. So I was with Sharr, Nick, and one of his other friends, but not the guy that I liked. And the whole time I'm like, fuck, man, this sucks.

Like, I want to be with, I don't even want to know what to call him. What should I call him? Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob Thornton. Just call him Billy Bob. Billy Bob. Billy, Billy, okay. So I was so bummed that Billy and I got separated.

And then we finally all found each other for the very last song at the end of the concert, which was like such a bummer. But fine. So on the way back to our party bus, he asked me for my number. And we hung out in the party bus. But Shar and I were going home. Like they were all going to Malibu. And I'm like, I'm too old for this.

I'm not going to stay until 6 a.m. Char went home too. Shar and I went home. Yeah. First I said, this Shar went to Malibu. Of course she did. Sharr. Sharr, we love you.

No, Shara is a baby. No, I know. That's why I would have been shocked. Yeah, no. Sharr and I were like, we're not, we can't go to Malibu at like 1 a.m. This is insane. But why not with you?

Because you actually, once you're out. I know. Honestly, probably because Sharr was going, if Sharr would have been like, let's go, I would have been like done. I didn't want to go by myself, though. It was like me and all these dudes and then like random younger girls.

And I was just like, I don't know. So anyways, but that's fine. Okay, so I, okay, and by the way, this is right after I changed my phone number. So when he asked me for my phone number, I was like, wait, fuck, what is my phone number? I was like singing a song, like trying to put it in his phone. And I was like, I think that's my number, but I'm like not 100% sure. Okay, so I don't hear from him Sunday, Monday. So I DM him Monday night.

And I said, why haven't you texted me and asked me on a date yet? So he read it The Cavalry Balls I know sure they're massive They're massive They're so big So he read it and then didn't say anything So I was like

It said red Yeah The next morning But by the way I think I left that day But I'm like So I'm like maybe I gave him The wrong phone number

You know and I'm like Because Shar was like Well maybe he read it And then texted you Right And I'm like well fuck now I don't know what to do Because I'm not going to like

Double DM him I don't know. So I'm like, fuck. Okay. So that day, so right, so I flew home that day. I picked Camden up from football practice and we're driving home. And my phone rings from a number I don't know. And because I had just changed my phone number, I wasn't like scared to pick it up. So I pick it up and it's on Bluetooth. And this guy goes, hey beautiful. And Camden goes, who is that? And I was like, oh my God, like freaking out. I was like, let me call you back in five minutes. Anyways, the point of this is, so we were chatting for a month. He would actually call me on the phone, which I love. We would, like, text here and there. But you know what I realized to is, like, guys who love to text all day long, it drives me insane. I can't do it. I really don't understand it.

If I'm being completely honest, like, let me breathe a little. Texting is for the gays and the girl. Literally. It, like, really is. Like, a guy who's, like, texting all day long. Like, go do something. Go build a house. No, literally, go build a house.

Why do you text? How do you have time to text me all day? So, but Billy actually, he'd call me like every three days or so. And we would talk for like 40 minutes, 45 minutes, which I love talking. You could talk to a new person for 40 minutes. I think it speaks to our connection. I think it speaks to the fact that you're very good at chatting, you know. On the host.

No, and it's very, it's really cool. It's interesting to me. I just, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone for 40 minutes on the phone. So here's what I'll tell you is he is very interesting. and what he has validated for me is that the work I've done is paying off because his emotional intelligence is fucking amazing. He's really deep. He's thoughtful. He's got a great story. Like, he's been through a lot of shit. And so I really, I do enjoy talking to him. So I think that's kind of part of it too. I also liked because we just went deep immediately. There wasn't like any

bullshit or fluff. It was just like, boom, here we go. Well, then that makes sense to me that you could talk for 40 minutes. I always think like those first like if you're just meeting someone and you're talking for 40 minutes. So you're like, the weather is nice. What made you move to Tennessee? Yeah, no. Like I can't do that. I can't do that. Yeah. I can't do small talk. So you're saying that you guys got deep and that totally makes sense. No. So they were like good conversations and I like really enjoy talking to me. Like a good friend. Like you can just chat forever. It would be like, right, like you and me. So okay, so I just was in LA this past week. So I got to L.A. and he took me to dinner. And it was such a great date. Like easy, just flowed. It was never awkward, like just so fun. And then I ended up seeing him a few times while I was

in L.A. And I, I like him. I think I'm like trying to figure out, I don't know, I think logistically it's going to be hard with him being in L.A. Like, I don't go back until a month and a half. So, like, sustaining this now for a month and a half is going to be tricky, I think. You guys know I love symbiotica. So I always. get so excited to talk to you about them. They are hands down my favorite supplement company. What's so great about them is their quality of ingredients is top notch and you only get the things that you actually need. There's no other crap, no other BS. They add into it. Something I love is because I'm constantly on the go. They make these little pouches that are so

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He told, so we went to dinner again like two nights ago, like the night before I flew home. And he told me, so when he was like going to text me, he had two numbers for me and his phone. he had my old, old L.A. number, a 310 number. And he was like, wait, what? And then he remembered. You saved this for the pod. I don't even know this part. I know.

Remember I told you? I was like, I have a story for you, but I'm going to tell you on the pod. Okay, I'm leaning in. Lean in Justin. And so we met at Coachella in like 2008, and we were making out. Do you die? I don't remember. Oh, my God.

crazy is that he had he had my number in his phone my LA number from like literally 2008 how crazy is that is wild I know even when once he told you that it didn't come back to you no you know what's so funny is something that we were laid on you can cut this out of the pot if you want like we've always talked about like our favorite thing back in our party days was like making out with someone totally like when I was like drunk or like maybe I did a little drug I wanted to like make out with people that's what I was doing and I wouldn't remember any of them are Don't remember. I was like, God.

But you're memorable. They remember you. Thank you. You know? Isn't that wild? That is a wild story. Have you heard of the reds? Is it called the red string theory?

Oh, I remember somebody talking about that. I want to look this up. Not the Kabbala string. Not the cabalus string theory is about something like things coming back around. It's what is the red string theory? Let me ask Kyle my chat, GPT boyfriend. Okay, the red string theory often called the red thread of fate. It's a popular.

East Asian legend, especially in Chinese and Japanese folklore, that symbolizes the idea of soulmates or destined connections. So the theory says that an invisible red string is tied around the pinky fingers or ankles of two people who are faded to meet and have a significant connection, whether romantic, spiritual, or karmic. This string never breaks, no matter how far apart the two people are, may stretch or tangle symbolizing time, distance, or life circumstances, but it will always lead these two souls back to each other. It represents destiny rather than choice. suggest that some relationships are written in the stars. Whoa.

So it's like this invisible string that keeps you together and like maybe you'll meet early but doesn't work out and you like come back to it. Like it always connects you. So listen, I'm not saying he's the one. I think there's a couple things. I think like his life is very much L.A. and mine is not. Yeah. And he I just, he wants kids and I mean I'm not going to have more kids.

I could maybe see him being like it's fine, but like I also don't want that pressure on me of someone who initially wanted kids and then they meet me. And then they're like, oh, no, I don't need my own kids. Like I don't want that responsibility. No. And it's really interesting. The red theory thing, it just kind of reminds you that stuff like that is out there. Like the fate and you were saying you wanted to meet somebody in person and you wanted it to like be different than on an app or whatever. So it's interesting that that's the first one that it happened with. I know. And it doesn't need to be your everything. it's so funny because it's like obviously I go through all these stories with you with the guys and stuff and it's my favorite topic with you because it's so fun but we've been talking about it recently you know I really do feel like pretty soon your thing is coming right with the guy that you're going to be with or whatever and I've never for one second had a fear of you not being able to find a guy because I don't think that's the issue I know he's out there and he's coming it's so funny though because something has switched with me because in my mind I'm like okay he's coming and it's going to be the four of us on vacation and it's going to be the four of us on vacation he's going to be a part of our life, the whole thing or whatever, that when these kind of things happen, I see a few things, like when you say he doesn't want kids, he lives in L.A. He's very L.A. And I know for a fact, I would love him.

So if you would love him. Yeah, if you hear this podcast, like I would love you, whatever. Yeah. But it makes me nervous because these guys fall in love with you, which doesn't shock me because you have so much to offer, beautiful, you're successful. You don't need anything for.

For a guy to meet a girl like you, it's the jackpot, especially a guy who's a little bit old. older in life and he's been looking to date and he's probably dated we know what girls are like in los angeles california i mean i want to bar for now i do guys and girls you know it's really hard there because you never know what people's intentions are and whatever people could see you driving a flashy car and that's what they're interested in so i think when a guy meets a girl like you it's a jackpot you're beautiful you're sexy successful you know so i immediately go to that place i'm like

oh we're going to break this guy's heart and what is it going to be like and i've gone through all of the little breakup text with you and we've talked about it. And let me just say to everyone listening, it really does affect you. It does. You're not like, whatever. Like I don't want to. It really eats at you. And I'm the one who's constantly saying when we were in Cabo the last time that it happened and I was watching you. It was like eating you. And you're like, Justin, you were asking me. And I was like, Kristen, just say you're not into it, you know, but you're like, I feel really bad. Yeah. And I think it's because. these guys jump in really, really quick because they do feel something special.

I don't think these guys are gaslighting you when they're saying these things. Some people have tried to gaslight you in the past, but they wouldn't get past the first date with you. But with a guy like this saying he feels a real connection, I believe it. No, me too. I really do. And we do have a real connection. Like, I won't deny that. And by the way, for everyone listening, like, I was showing Justin some text messages and stuff from this guy before. And like it is intense and it is like this like crazy connection. But I think I'm more realistic about it because I have to be because I've got kids and like, you know, it's one thing when I'm in L.A. Like that's not the real world for me. Like I had a few days off of being a mom and like I'm out here on a, you know, my own schedule.

But like that's not reality for me. The one thing that throws me off with that is the kid talk, right? Because that's a major thing. That's something you have to be very honest about. You can't beat around the bush with kids. Right. If somebody wants kids, they want kids. And there's going to be pressure. when you guys start really dating that it's going to be a pressure conversation right but beyond that I've always said this thing that I kind of have to catch myself sometimes because I'm like why can't you date a guy in LA and just see him every couple months but then I'm like who the fuck am I to say that because my favorite thing in the world is getting into bed with scoot every night and spending those times together and stuff well and I have thought I was like he could be just perfect for me when I go to L.A but never ends up being that way they're going to want more I also like if I'm being

honest, I want more. Like, I do want to be in a relationship and, like, have a man over here and, like, cook dinner and have him be part of my family, too. Do you think that if you met a guy in L.A. or you met a guy in New York and, like, everything was there. Maybe they already had kids who were older. So they weren't even talking about kids at all. Genuinely, they weren't talking about kids or whatever. Could you go through in those periods where you date somewhere where you see them once a month, or they fly into town? Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. I think if, yes, I could make it work with someone in New York or L.A. If they already had kids and if they could also travel to me.

I actually really think that you could. A thousand percent could. And the thing about you is you are very good about making things happen. Like you will plan. You'll put it into your busy schedule. You'll fly there. I'm thinking about this selfishly for me because I actually couldn't. I couldn't date someone who lived in another city because I really like would need a lot from

somebody. Yeah. It would almost maybe be ideal for me because then it wouldn't like encroach on all my time. Yeah. I actually really kind of think that that would be ideal for you. It could be. As long as like in, you know, two years or whatever, he could move here. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Because also right now, like, I look at your life and like your kids are so your priority and you are so in their life. So that's a million times. I feel like a broken record. But like you're in these years where the kids are a lot. It's a lot. You know? And having somebody who's also, that takes a lot from them too. They have to be stable. Being like, this is my girl. I see her once a month. I know she's not cheating.

on me. There has to be a lot of understanding for that kind of thing to work. I think you're capable of it. Me too. But I think if you met a guy who kind of had all of those components, but he did live it out time, I don't, I think it'd be ideal. The kid thing is so hard. The kid thing.

So that's why like Billy really is so close to what I want, which again, it just reaffirms. I am, I'm there. I'm like almost there. But yeah, the kid thing is real. And he works a lot and he can't leave L.A. and so that, you know. Also, I, so, and I also have a date Friday. So a friend in L.A. was like, I have a great guy for you. I want to set you up with this guy. And she's like, you know, he's got kids. He's

divorced. He lives in Santa Barbara. Like, he's, he's the best. He's so funny. So great. I'm like, let me see photos. So she shows me photos of this man. And I'm like, this guy DM'd me multiple times on Raya asking me out. and I always ignored it. And I don't even know why I ignored it. I don't know why. I'll tell you why. So this literally just happened when I got here. Kristen showed me the photo of him.

And I made it was like, this guy's so hot. And then like we saw a video of him talking. I'm like, he's so hot and he's so your type. But he's exactly the look that when I swipe with you on Raya, you swipe past that guy all the time, that type of a guy all the time.

And I was like, Kristen, wait. And what I see a little bit is like, he kind of has like a clean cut. look to him. No, keep going. Keep going. Talk. Talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, because he's a good looking guy. I just, I don't know. I think in my head I'm like going to end up with like a rough like super manly like guy who's not afraid to get dirty and like be out there planting my plants. You know? He doesn't look like that guy. Yeah, he's definitely like he gets manicures and he has

a skin care. Yeah, I don't like that. What are you going to talk? talk to a gardener about? My dogwood trees. Okay, so there's 10 gardeners out there right now. Go chat with them. Get that out of your system, but you're not going to like go to bed every night with a guy like that.

The thing that's so wild to me about you, Kristen, is like you are a deep thinker. You like to be around people who challenge your brain. That's when you get off the most. I notice people in your life who stick around for a really long time. And there are people who do challenge you and there are people who at their core

are you like good nights. happy people who are like also I think successful successful in their own right they don't have to be rich they don't have to be like famous or anything like that but people who can kind of take care of themselves and sometimes some of the guys that you like you swipe I'm like girl he could be fucking rat in person you know that's why I hate online dating well and because my friend was saying how awesome this guy is I was like okay I'll do it you know and he's coming here which makes my life easy no he is cute and he he like made a joke that I paid our mutual friend to set us up. And I was like, oh, actually, you were the one stalking me on Raya.

Good for you. I love how you always clap back and put it into place. Don't project. Yeah, like, calm down. Please, bitch. You made this happen. It already started. You guys were already fighting. Wait, I don't even remember what he said to that. Let me look and see what he said. I think it was a good answer. He goes, just had to blow me up there, didn't you? Which I like. And I said, I mean, it was too easy. Persistency wins, though. Persistency. So we'll see. So that's on Friday. And so I do feel like I'm in this new, like, wave of dating, this new energy. And again, the men who I'm attracting in now, there's been a shift. And I'm really happy about that. And everyone's age appropriate. You guys will be happy to hear. You really do feel different about it, though. Yeah. Even the way that you and I talk about it feels very different to me. And I feel like, like anything, we always say this. Like there is a process. You have to trust the process. You can't. fight the process. You can't try to speed it up. You can't go looking for it is what I realized too. And so I feel like all of this stuff has been your journey and we're getting closer and even just our conversations about it. You know, never once in the years that you've been single after your divorce, never once have you complained. You've always known he's out there. Yeah, I have. You know, to both of us, I think it took a little bit longer in the sense. But this was the. Also, if you think about it two years ago, Kristen, like you wouldn't have done a lot of things that you've

in the past few years. I know. I've thought about that. Even being at the Laguna Beach reunion, I don't know why, but I was like, I'm happy I'm single right now. Not because I'm trying to hook up with anybody, but like, I just saw the dynamics with like spouses and stuff. And I was like, I don't have to answer to anyone. Like, I don't have to like check in at night. And I don't know. I just felt like it was nice. Yeah. It was nice to be single. And I didn't, and again, I think whoever I end up with wouldn't be jealous about that. But in my past, every boyfriend I've had would be jealous about that. And to me, it was just like,

ugh, I'm so happy. I don't have that right now. Yeah. Those are the things to focus on. I know. I'm really... Because you really do have it, like, really good right now. I know, I do. That's the thing. I think there is a little part of me that's like, do I want to be in a relationship.

But I do, I do. And I could make it work. Well, somebody also needs to realize that, like, they can't come and expect them to change anything about your life. That will never work. No, no, no, no. It has to be someone who gets you, like, two kind of big worlds. coming together that are really understanding

of each other. And someone who's sort of in the same phase of their career, we're like, I'm not in my hustle phase anymore. Like I know this past year I did a lot with like the tour and the show and everything, but like I'm not doing that again. And to me, this is like the podcast and Uncommon James is me actually kind of like chilling out a bit when it comes to work. And it needs to be someone who's in that same phase of life where they can also make their own schedule and they can travel and they can, I don't know, like they're just not hustling anymore.

can we touch base for one second because i actually am really curious about this because it's like we've always said this thing where i was like we both in like the rugged thing construction guy whatever but then don't don't you do need somebody who's the of course and when we think about this thing a lot of times in tennessee it also takes a certain person here like someone who's traveled quite a bit seen a lot of the world because i do like i just said the biggest thing for you is like you do like to learn from people you don't want to be the smartest one in a relationship you don't want to teach someone like this is how you board a plane they've never left tennessee but it's so funny because the other day at physical therapy i saw this hot guy here in tennessee and so i called

christin about it and i was like this guy's so hot and she's like get his number or like whatever like we were being playful like let's figure him my number yeah let's figure who he is or whatever but then i've seen him a couple more times there and i'm like he's a fucking goofish really like he's just like because now i'm paying more attention i like try and strike up conversation, you know? And it's like talking to a brick. So it's like, yeah, the looks are there. He's got this big body. He's sexy as like manly energy. But I'm like, there's nothing there. Yeah. And it's like you in particular, I have a lot of girlfriends in my life who could deal with stuff like that. You know, a lot of my girlfriends have buried guys like that. And it's very simple. You're not simple.

No, I can't. I know. I because like for me, the reason why I have really enjoyed my dates with Billy in LA is because we just talk all night. I need that. Like I need to like talk and get deep and like really. connect with someone. So you know all this stuff. There's no question that we're just waiting for him. He's got to come. Well, I'm manifesting meeting him in November on 1111. I don't like when you pick a date. Okay, fine. Just the month of November. No, it's cute for you because also everything in your life works. Like if whatever. Everything happens. Yeah. That's soon actually. Real soon, girl. I don't know if I like that. And also like I was just saying this to you earlier, I really want the pressure to be taken off of you. I know. I'm so sick of you feeling the pressure of everyone because

here's the thing you guys like when she meets a lot of these guys they put a lot into you yeah and then it's like you have all this pressure of like oh my going to let him down you shouldn't have to worry about that and you know why you feel that because to them like I was saying earlier you're a jackpot so they're like so excited or whatever you can meet people and it can be really exciting and good but it can still be like a slow burn well that's why like even before we started taping I was like I don't know if I want to talk about my date on Friday because I feel bad if Billy hears it and then it's like no but I'm allowed to date like I've literally hung out with this guy a couple of times it's not like yeah I don't know I think I just but again it's because I just feel bad I just feel bad like imagine if I dated a guy and he had a

podcast and we had just had like a great no it's and I was very weird concept it's weird it's not it's weird nobody talks about yeah and then like I listen and he's like oh I'm taking a new girl out Friday I'd be like oh my god but that's dating and I've actually had to explain that to some of my mom friends who have been out of the dating game for years I'm like no just me because I went out with someone twice doesn't mean I'm in a relationship with them. Like that's the point of dating is like you can go out with multiple people until you are like, I actually want to be in a relationship with someone. Especially at this age now.

Yeah. Yeah, you're not like, this is my boyfriend. No. After two days. No, that's crazy. And after you know so much what you want out of life, no, it's going to take a while. Yeah. Like, what's really real.

Yeah. And it takes a minute to really get to know someone. Like, I may hang out with Billy one more time and be like, actually, this wouldn't work. Like, that's the point. of dating is to get to know someone to see if you want to be with them. I actually think that's the way more normal way of dating, especially in this day and age where we know so much about ourselves. Yeah. I know so much about what we want out of life. Of course, we're allowed to look at the whole big picture. And I think it changes the game when you're

really young and you want to get married and have kids really quick and you feel like you're on that clock or whatever the fuck. You know, you have to like. You're like making people work. Yeah. You're making people work. Yeah. But at this point, you don't need to make anyone work. I'm not making anything work. Yeah. It's like, you know like you want it to be magical yeah magical magical I do I need magic sorry fucking sue me I've waited this long it's gonna be your magic well there's that so I'll keep you guys posted any final thoughts I can't wait to hear about this date on Friday night oh yeah me too I'm excited forgot about it okay well love you guys see you soon

Please note that this episode. Yeah, I got all the power. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.