Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - I Dare You to Not Be Inspired with Tanya Rad

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

I sit down with my friend and co-host of On Air with Ryan Seacrest, Tanya Rad, to talk about what Modern Woman Energy means, how she called in "the one", her Dear Future Husband journal, we discuss chemistry vs. compatibility, the tricks to manifesting, what dating a guy with kids is like, and how she has the ultimate body positivity- how she got to this place & why apps and social media have screwed us all.A word from our sponsors:Beis - Go to BEISTRAVEL.com/HONEST for 15% off your first purchase Farmer's Dog - Get 50% off your first box of fresh, healthy food at TheFarmersDog.com/honestJenni Kayne - Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code HONEST at jennikayne.com/HONEST #jennikaynepartnerRitual - Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BEHONEST. Start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today!Heineken - Click this link to buy now. Must be 21+ to purchase. Please enjoy Heineken responsibly. Thrive Market - Go to ThriveMarket.com/honest for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavallari, a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I'm your host, Kristen Cavallari, and I'm really excited to get into this week's episode. But first, you guys, I just wanted to let you know, I taped this episode with my friend Tanya right before she got engaged. So while you're listening, just know in the back of your minds, she is engaged and I could not be happier for her.

So, okay, let's take a listen to Tanya Radd. You guys, I feel confident to say that today's episode is going to be one of the most inspiring episodes for you guys, because I would honestly say that this guest is hands down the best role model for women. She is the co-host to Ryan Seacrest on Kiss FM in the mornings. She hosts the podcast Scrubbing In. She's written a book. She hosts red carpet events, which is actually how we met. And honestly, she just has one of the most positive messages for women everywhere. You haven't guessed it yet. We are talking to my good friend, Tanya Rad. Oh my gosh. Hi. So good. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it made me feel really nice. I mean

everything though. I mean, truly, I'm so excited for everyone to hear your message. There's so much that I want to get to with you because I think everyone is going to have so much takeaway from this episode. So we're going to get into what you call modern woman energy. Okay. I want to know how you waited for the perfect man and in fact called him in and how you just have the most amazing self-love and body image. So we're going to get to all of that. I was going to say lots of cover. Lots of cover. All right. So I want to start strong. Let's talk about Modern Woman Energy. Tell everybody what that is and how you got to this place. Well, I know like, I mean, you've been in this industry for a very long time. And I feel like when I started in this industry, it was not like girls looking out for girls. It was very much the opposite. And so I remember like being very,

very like afraid and kind of like a little chicken with my head cut off. And I remember I just like had this very like, this like burning feeling inside of me that was just like, I really want to like change that narrative. I want to change the dynamic. I want to like change that in my work environment and also hopefully just like spread it as far as I can. And so I started kind of leaning into this term modern woman because

I feel like women were always being judged on what they wanted to do with their lives. If they wanted to be a stay at home mom, people judge because of that. You wanted to just focus on your career and you didn't want to have a family. You were judged because of that. And so it was like we were always being judged on whatever path we took. And I was just like, it's on us to decide what we want to do. You know what I mean? Like it's do what you want to do. So I just kind of really like would lean into that. And so to me, Modern Woman Energy is just like embracing what you want,

the desires of your heart, whatever it is, and going at it full force unapologetically. And also just being there for other women, not having to like tear anyone else down. I love that so much. Actually, one thing I love so much about you is watching you on social media. And you guys, if you do not follow her, you need to. When you're on your period and you're at the office, you go to the bathroom just holding your tampons loud and proud. You're not putting them in your pocket or like all sometimes like stuff them up my sweatshirt, you know, sleeve. You're

just like you're not apologizing for being a woman. I think that's so great. That's the thing that like would make me so angry. It was like, why do we have to hide our period? It's something that we all have. We all have it. We have it once a month. Yeah. And it's just a part of who we are. And so it's like, well, you know, like guys don't like walk around putting anything in their pockets. They like hold it out and proud. And I'm just like, why are we so ashamed of our periods? And like men just don't think about it. And so what I'm trying to do is like,

I just hope like the men in my office see me walking around with it. Just so it's like less awkward. And like, do they ever say anything to you? Whenever I mentioned like them on my period, because I say it all the time. I'm just like, oh, I'm on my period. Blah, blah, blah. I used to get a lot of eye rolls. god yeah but now everyone's just knows to expect it from you exactly exactly you're making them comfortable with yeah see every woman needs

to be embracing this you know what Andy Grammer did once and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever this is like sounds so it's such a small gesture but like it really made an impact in his tour buses for the ones that had like women in them. He put trash cans in the bathrooms, like on their tour buses. That's not like a thing. I guess I don't have that's not a thing. And the women would feel uncomfortable because I was like, walk out of the bathroom with like, oh, and you're holding your like bloody. Yeah. Yeah. And he would like he put trash cans in their bathrooms and stuff. And I was like, what a guy. So yeah. Yes, we need more men like that.

All right. I want to discuss your journey to finding your boyfriend, Robbie, because it is such a great story. And I don't know if you remember this or not, but I want to say it was 2018, maybe 2019. We were at the InStyle Oscars after party. We had been hosting for E! earlier in the day for the show. And it's before you met Robbie. And you had asked me if I knew any single guys. My standard. That was my typical approach to anybody. Do you know any single men? Which by the way is like where I'm at right now.

So I feel you. Yeah. But I was living in Chicago at the time I was married. So like single men, especially in LA, were not the top of my priority list. But you seemed, the way you asked it, it seemed like you, I don't want to say like down or sad, but like you really were wanting to be a guy.

Yeah. And I just think that that's really relatable because honestly, in the last few years, I've gone through those phases too. So I'm curious in those moments of like, I don't want to say being lonely, but like just wanting a partner. How did you pull yourself through those moments and what did you say to yourself? Because like it is interesting. Wanting someone and feeling lonely are like not one in the same. I agree with you because I never had this sense of feeling lonely because I always had a really good friend group. I really immersed myself in work. So like that kept me busy. I have a great family. So it was like, I never felt

lonely, but I was never ashamed or embarrassed to admit my desire for partnership and like wanting to build a life with somebody and having a partner in life and a husband and all the everything that comes with it and so I was like very much in my pursuit like I was very unapologetically in it and I would go out with anybody if I like met someone on the street and they asked me out I'd go out with them I feel like I am right now. Like I'm giving people chances that I'm like, I wouldn't normally give them a chance, but I'm like, you never know. You never know. And also like, what's the harm? You go for a drink, you waste an hour or two of your time. And like, it's a funny story. Do you know what I mean? Like that's what I always like

chalked it up to. Granted, I did that for seven years. And like, I wouldn't have moments of like ebbs and flows. Like sometimes, especially like when you're dating somebody that you kind of liked and then turns out they really sucked. Yeah. That would be like a low and I would feel really bad because I was just like, oh, like I was always just like the when. I knew it was always going to happen for me, but it was just like a matter of when. Right.

And then you're watching everybody around you get married and have bridal showers. And how many bachelorettes have I gone to and like officiated friends weddings and like it's such a desire of my heart so like I did have a lot of like lows but I was never lonely it was just kind of deflated defeated bummed out I read this book it's called calling in the one okay yes yeah because you called in Robbie yeah okay I want to hear all about okay so it's this book and I remember I was like this was like a very bad low because I was like dating somebody that I really think he was a Christian cute respectful great guy and I was like this is it like yeah this is it turns out my job and my career was like just too much for him yeah which

like really which is a whole thing too it's a whole thing because I'm like I worked so hard I'm so proud of where I am and like what I've accomplished and like it was so he was obviously insecure I mean he couldn't handle it yeah and he was a little bit younger than me so I think like that kind of had something to do with it so that really sucked because like that was like that was really a hard one for me and so I was like you know what I'm kind of like just done with this I didn't really want to date so I kind of put dating on the back burner and I started this book called calling in the one and you know those like little libraries that are out like all over LA those like little libraries you never seen those I don't think

I have they're called little free libraries and basically like you put one in and like you take one out it's like one of those things and a girlfriend of mine had seen calling in the one in one of those little libraries. She took it out. She read it and she met her husband. And so I remember that and I was like, okay, I'm going to get this book. And it's basically like a seven week workshop essentially, but you do it with yourself.

So it's like not like there's like a teacher or anything like that. And there's like homework every night. So like a lot of journaling. A lot of journaling, a lot of like thinking about stuff. Like one of the practices it was, was like, did you ever have any of those? Probably not because you got married.

You were like younger when you got married, right? I was 23 when I met my ex-husband. So you never had those like agreements like, oh, if we're single by the time we're 40, we'll get married or like those paths? I did make that with one person, but then I ended up getting married and he did too. Okay, so like, so it tells you in this book, like you put that energy into the universe that you're going to be single till

your whatever age. And so basically it has you go back and either reach out to that person and say, like, as silly as it sounds like this is no longer, you know, like, yeah, it's like cutting that like contract in a way, like cutting contract exactly exactly and so I did that and it also says like if you don't want to actually reach out and like text or call the person like you can write it down and like rip it up you know what I mean like but it has you do all these things that you don't even think about like subconsciously that you were doing throughout your entire life and so I was doing all that and I was like really into this and then I was like started feeling really good about getting back on the apps.

Okay, yeah. And I remember it so specifically the date because it was my best friend Becca's birthday and we were at a birthday dinner and there was two people there that had met their boyfriends on Hinge. And I was like, I've never tried Hinge.

And I'm ready to date again. I'm feeling like really good. I feel like- Were you done with the seven week course? No, I was probably like five and a half, six weeks in. Okay, so getting close to the end. But I was feeling like really good. I feel like- Were you done with the seven week course at this point? No. No, okay. I was probably like five and a half, six weeks in. Okay, so getting close to the end. But I was feeling good. Like I was feeling like myself again

and like just like feeling like I'd done like a lot of work and like realized a lot about myself. And so I get on Hinge On. It was like October. It was Halloween that I got on. Okay. I matched with my boyfriend. I met him on November 1st.

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day he'd sent me like he'd probably googled me that day and he sent me morning show clips of stuff oh my god me like talking about my dates and things like that and i was like wait that's hilarious before you guys went out before we actually went out that night yeah what did you think of that i think I said something like, I'll fill you in on our date. There's more to the story. You're like, whatever. Oh, so he was like,

because you had said something about someone you were dating or something? No, no, no. We, oh, oh, on the air. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so he was like, what's going on? Yeah, he's like,

tonight should be interesting. I was like, oh. Wait, that's actually so funny. Calling you out in a way. Yeah, he was. I love that. But he like had no idea what I did. Like wow and also just very like oblivious to a lot to this world yeah that's what you want but also on social media he's on social media he's private love he doesn't really put he posts

pictures of like me and his kids like yeah he's this is what we all need yeah like he's on it he sees you know he likes everything that I do and stuff, but he's not like. He's not like active. No, he's not very active. I love that. Yeah. Okay. But because I love this story because I've heard both of you guys tell it together.

The argument about who made the first move. So what happened? So he reached out to me and said like, hey, Tanya, how are you? So in my mind, that's the first move. I agree with you, by the way. He thinks because I liked his photo on Hinge that I made the first move. So you liked the photo before he said that.

Before we engaged. But that's what you do when you like match with someone, you like swipe on them, you like their photos. Like I did that to tons of guys. I like so many guys' photos. Yes. No, I agree with you. I think him reaching out and starting the conversation is making the first move.

I know. But a lot of people say I did because I liked his photo. I'm on your team for this one. I am too. Thank you. But I am in the minority. That's interesting. Yeah.

That's interesting. Yeah. Okay. So I saw a clip. It was from the Ryan Seacrest show about what you would do after you would go on dates. You would come home and you would write a letter, right? Yeah. So what was that? It was my dear future husband. I love this. It's so good. Yeah. Because like I got into this like kind of toxic headspace where I would go on these bad dates and I would come home and I would cry and I would say like,

what's wrong with me? Oh, wow. And like, what's wrong? Like, what is it about me? That's not, you know, I internalized everything. And I was that was like very toxic. And like, what's wrong? Like, what is it about me? That's not, you know, I internalized everything. And I was, that was like very toxic and it took me down like a bad path. And so I kind of was like, I need to rewrite this narrative. And so I'd come home from my dates and if they were really bad or even if they were like good, I would write a letter to my dear future husband. And it would basically be like, let's say I went out with this guy and he made me feel, you know, really small or he didn't compliment me or he didn't, he wasn't a gentleman.

You know, like I would write to my dear future husband and be like, I know you're never gonna make me question my worth. I know like you're gonna be a gentleman. Like, you know, like I would write it in that perspective of like, I'm writing to him the things that were going wrong, but like knowing that he would be the right one.

And so it's actually really funny going back and like reading the entry that I wrote in my journal on my first date with Robbie. Oh, you went home and wrote in it? What did you say? I was like, it's so embarrassing to read these things because I like look like a, feel like a 15 year old girl.

But it was like, I went out, it was my first date with this guy from Hinge. I didn't want to go, but my friend Sierra made me. But he was really cute. And like, I felt something

the minute I saw him. You did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah, like I really like, when I made eye contact with him, like it almost like took my breath away

in a weird way. I know. Okay, see, this gives me so much hope. This is a debate. And I didn't want to go on the date. Like when I tell you. It's always those stories. I didn't want to go. I matched with him on Hinge. I let my girlfriends talk to him. I didn't even talk to him on the app. You weren't even talking to him? I let my girlfriends talk to him because I was like, I don't want to do it. And they were like, you have to go out with him. And so I remember it so like vividly because the next day Ryan was

getting inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in New York. And so I had it so like vividly because the next day Ryan was getting inducted into the radio hall of fame in New York and so I had to pack that night and I hadn't packed and I was like okay I'm meeting this guy at five o'clock for drinks I'll be with him for like an hour hour and a half I'll be home at seven I'll pack and I'll be in bed like I normally am yeah I met with him at five and I like we just totally hit it off we stayed at at the bar till like 1030 11. I love that. Yeah, I love that so much. Yeah. And we kissed the first you did. Yeah. And I got the fanny flutters. Fanny flutters. Yeah. I've never heard that before. You never heard it? No, but I like it. It's a very PG vagina tingle. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. But so this this kind of proves my point

because a big conversation I have with my friends is essentially chemistry versus compatibility. Yeah. And I'm someone who thinks like, I will know instantly if I like you or not. So like what you said, when you first saw Robbie, you knew. Yeah. I've gone on dates with really great guys. They have great jobs. They're good looking.

They're kind. They're asking me all the right questions, all the things. But I'm like, I don't want to kiss him. Like there's nothing in me that wants to, you're giving me fanny flutters. Yeah. And my friends will be like, well, if he's a great guy, you should go out with him again

because that can grow. And I'm like, no, that doesn't grow. I'm not all of a sudden like, oh, you know what? Actually, yeah, I am attracted to this guy. So thank you for that because I'm holding out for compatibility and chemistry. I'm not going to settle until I have both.

Yeah. And I also think too, like I had friends that would say the same thing to me. You have to give a guy at least five dates. Five dates? Who's got time for that? Not me. And also I don't want it to, I don't want something that's going to grow on me. You know what I mean? Same. Yeah. I'm just like not there. I didn't want that. And so I knew I was like very infamous for going on like a lot of first dates, not very many second dates. Me too. I've been on a million first dates. I've been on a couple second and like two third dates.

Really? I mean, like not very many. Yeah. Yeah. Because same thing. Like I know immediately if I like someone or not. Yeah. Have you given that book or that journal to Robbie? Has he read it? No. Okay. So you're waiting until we're ring on the finger. I don't know if I ever want him to read it. I think it's so cute. I feel like you have to give we're ring on the finger? I don't know if I ever want him to read it. I think it's so cute. I feel like you have to give it to him. Yeah, it's interesting. I've actually seen some other people have done this

because like people sent me TikToks of people that have done it, like given it to their husband on their wedding day. Does he know what you said about him the first date? Yeah, it's not so much about him. It's just like all the other stuff. You know what I mean? But then you went home and you wrote,

well, yeah, no, you don't care about him seeing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've told him what you and you wrote. Well, yeah, I know you don't care about him seeing that. Yeah. Yeah. You've told him what you wrote about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just funny. Like, it's really awkward to like read it back because I sound I feel like a little teenager being like, dear diary. Yeah. Horrible date today. Yeah. Well, so you're someone who obviously believes in manifestation. Yeah. Right. So do I. It sounds like what this book is calling in the one and everything you were doing is a form of manifestation. I wanted to ask you also about vision boards. Yeah. So did you also create a vision board? Because I know that's a big part of manifesting. So I every single year on the at the top of the year, so like January 1st,

I do a vision board for the year and I've been doing it for probably 10, maybe like a little over 10 years now. I save them all. And it's like really cool to go back and I've been doing it for probably 10 maybe like a little over 10 years now and I save them all and it's like really cool to go back because I've had like things on my vision boards that didn't necessarily come to fruition that year but I'll go back and I'll see I'll be like oh like that was that you know like I remember I put like a grammy on a vision board one year and then I ended up working the grammys like two years later amazing and I had like an award on one of them. And it was then three years later,

we won the People's Choice Award for the podcast. Yeah, I remember that. So I'm like a big believer. And I also pick a word of the year. I do too. Yeah. What's your word for this year? Renaissance.

Oh, okay. So tell me why you chose that word. I felt like I was kind of getting in this like routine and this rut over the past, I'd say after the pandemic, I felt like it was hard for me to kind of like get my footing back. And I felt like I didn't really have a sense of direction. I didn't really know. Like I just felt very kind of like going through the motions instead of like being intentional about stuff. And so I decided I wanted to just have a totally new, fresh start. And like, I'm actually doing pretty good.

I love that. Yeah. My word was flow because I wanted life to just flow. Like, is it working? It is. I do feel like I've gotten into a good state of that because for so long I was trying to control everything in my life. And so now I'm just trying to like let go of everything. Talk to me about that. Well, OK, so it's funny because I also think a big part of manifesting and I'm curious your thoughts is being very specific about what you want, but then letting it go. So did you do that when it came to finding your perfect guy? I'm actually asking because like this is what I'm currently doing in my life of like, where the hell is my future guy? But I think I'm putting too much energy on like, where is he? Meaning like he's not here. So I'm just like giving more energy

to the fact that he's like not here. Right. So but everything I'm reading about manifesting is like, OK, say what you want, but then just let it go and just know that it's coming. Like just trust in the universe that it's on its way. You know, it's so interesting because like I feel like I used to be so much better than I am right now. Because like right now I'm in this season of life where like I really want the next step. You know what I mean? And I've been like really focused on that and like not letting it go.

And like, I need to. Do you know what I mean? Like, right. We know what's coming. Right. Just let it go. Right. And so I know I'm not good at let,

like I'm also a big control person. I feel like that's something that's been really hard for me to let go of. And I think actually what's interesting is I have a similar dynamic in my relationship because my boyfriend's divorced with two kids. And so there's a lot in that that like I can't control. Yes. And that's been like really, really hard for me. I'm sure I forget what the book was called. I think it's called like. I don't remember what it was called, but it was about, it was like dating with kids. No, it was all about like releasing control and like not having just like being only in control of like yourself. I used to want to try and control

situations and like, by the way, by, you know, boundaries and all this stuff. And it's like, you just can't control other people. All you can control is yourself. Is your reaction. Yeah. Yeah. I've had to learn that a lot in the last few years, but it's everything. When you can get a hold of that, you really can master your life, I think, in a lot of ways. Yeah. Because you give so much energy to so much stuff that like actually means nothing and that you can't control no matter what you do. Yep. It's so true. I'm in it right now. Yeah. Well, okay. So not to just keep beating this over the head, but I am just so curious because you are, you're inspiring to me. I mean, really like everything I've been saying is true.

But so when you were writing all of the things that you wanted in a guy. Yeah. Throw it away. Throw it away. Did you also write cons? Because I've also heard that you have to like balance it out. So like you write the prose about the guy that you want to come into your life, right? But you also have to like write some negative things too. Because it's like a balance. So no, I can tell by your face. You did not.

I did not do that. Well, fuck that. I'm not writing cons. I'm like, I don't even know what cons I want to come up with. Like, why would I like, why would I call those in? No, no, no. So, but you know what's interesting? The book also helped me realize this. I would make those lists.

Like everyone says, again, with manifesting. Make your list. What do you want? But do you know what's at the top of my list what christian oh interesting guess what my boyfriend is christian jewish oh so fuck these lists fuck the list that's so funny yeah so here's the thing that this is what i learned okay it's not about, I want like a six foot blue hair, blue haired, blue, blue eyed, blonde haired lawyer.

Like it's not about that stuff. What I started manifesting was like things. It was like good character. So not so specific. Yeah. Good character, great dad, family man, driven, work oriented, balanced. Like I put stuff like that. And like stuff that really matters. And that is what I found in my in my boyfriend. I mean,

that's but it was he's literally opposite of anything I put on my list. Like I didn't put divorce with two kids on my right. Right. Yeah. Why would you? Why would you call in those obstacles? Right. Right. Well, speaking of that,, because yeah, so he has kids and that does, it offers up a whole other set of obstacles that you have to overcome. But also like nobody's been in the situation, like I get, unless you've dated tons of people with kids your whole life, which seems weird. Yeah.

You're all in this for the first time. Do you know what I mean? So it's like you're learning and you're going as you're going and you're learning. And like, yeah, there's no right and wrong. I think that's what I realized. That's a good point, actually. I love that. How was it coming in?

Because obviously they're a family unit, you know, him and his kids. And you're the newcomer. How was that when you first met them? I would imagine you were pretty nervous. Yeah. You know, I didn't meet them for about a year. I remember that. That was another conversation you and I had.

Yeah. Because you were wanting to meet them. I wanted to meet them like a month in. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that. And I think I'm I think I had told you at the time I was like, what did I say? I think I was like, I would never let my kids meet anybody for at least six months. Really? Are you still there? My kids have never met anyone. OK, I think they've met one person for two seconds because they were fans of his and wanted to meet him. They were like, have him take you out when we're home. I'll tell you. Okay. So I was like, all right. Great. But other than that, they've never met anyone that I've dated. Interesting. But I

haven't met anyone serious enough. Yeah. Here's the thing. I think there's like a balance. And again, there is no right and wrong. I think when it comes to that kind of stuff, it's whatever you're comfortable with. But I think what my boyfriend had said originally was my kids meet no one until I'm engaged. Oh, and I was like, wow, so backwards, because how can you get engaged and know you want to spend your life with somebody when you don't know what the dynamic is like with your kids? A hundred percent, by the way. And so we were kind of able to meet in the middle, which is why, you know, I would have never waited a year, but it was so.

It was a year. It was a little under a year, but like. Yeah. Give or take. It was a long time. It was a long time. And his kids are how old? At the time, they were five and seven.

OK, so they're young. Yeah. Yeah. And so. But you know, it's interesting. I was that was something I was so fixated on that year that I hadn't met them. And why hadn't I met them? And like.

Because it makes you feel like you're not that important to him. Yeah. Yeah. And also it's like, you're on an Island. You know what I mean? Like there's this whole other world that you're not a part of. And what's so crazy is like, once you are brought into that world, the dynamic completely changes, you know? And like, not in a bad way, but it's like when we had our time, it was just our time. And then now it's not really like that. You know, it's just like, yeah, it's all family time.

And when we don't have them, it's still kind of family. You know, like we're still doing stuff with them, for them, you know, like it's just totally different. And so I do kind of cherish that we had that whole year of just us. I agree. Yeah, That's a nice way to look at it. In hindsight, like I wish I could have told Tanya then because I think I was so fixated on it. Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad we had that. Isn't

that how it always is looking back? You're like, why couldn't I just sit in that? Just sit in that. My boyfriend is like the most level headed. He does not act on emotion or anything. Like he's very like level-headed and something that I've learned about him. And so I know like, I know that was the right decision. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I am very big on trusting your gut, but there have been a couple of times

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even like vacation, you went on vacation and you didn't bring any makeup, no hair styling tools. Like you are just you and you don't apologize for being you. So how did you get to this place? Because I've never in my whole life seen a woman who's going to go on vacation with their boyfriend and not bring any makeup. I'd be like, there's no fucking way. I'm at least bringing mascara. I know. You know what's interesting? I really got I think the pandemic did a lot for me in that sense, because I was like, I just feel like I waste so much time and energy on all of that. That's so not necessary like I do feel weirdly I feel more beautiful when I'm like I don't know not when I don't have makeup on and obviously I love that obviously I love like getting glam I love getting my hair and makeup and like don't get me wrong and like dressing up and stuff but like

I really I don't know when this shift happened in me, but I think also I feel like time is so precious. And I just feel like it's such a waste of time to just sit there and like, I mean, it takes me like an hour and a half to blow dry my hair. I hate doing my hair. Yeah. And then like to curl it. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. So like I'd say 90% of my life, my hair looks like this, which is out of the.

It looks good though. This is air dried? This is air dried out of the shower. I mean, I would rock my hair like that every day if it looked like that. I'm going to send you a picture of mine air dried out of the shower. It good though. This is air dried? This is air dried out of the shower. I mean, I would rock my hair like that every day if it looked like that. So I'm going to send you a picture of mine air dried out of the shower. It's not cute.

Oh, really? No, it's like the ugliest, weirdest curls. But I noticed it when I like actually do my hair. I'm like, oh, this looks nice. I look, you know, more put together. But like a nice look back bun or if you put your hair back, like you can't really tell.

And I just, I don't know, I really just kind of got over wasting my time. I love that. And especially when I go on vacation, it's even more so because my boyfriend takes five minutes to get ready. And I'm like, I don't want to waste 30 minutes in the bathroom when we can like be outside or enjoying each other. So I kind of just like really got out of the habit of wearing makeup. So nice. I'm sure it helps have Robbie too. Like I imagine, and I've met him. He is the sweetest man. Yeah. I'm sure he is constantly telling you how beautiful you are when you have no makeup on. So I think. Yeah, he is like really he loves every part of me. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the room, even when I feel like absolute shit.

Yeah. And so that does help. But I do think that I kind of embraced all of this before I started dating him really like even better. Yeah. And I feel like actually that's probably why you attracted in a guy who then just appreciates your natural beauty like that on social media. I remember I was using do you remember that filter that was like really popular? I think it was maybe five years ago at this point. It's called the supermodel filter. No, it would missed out on that. You really missed out because I was using it and I was like, I look gorgeous.

And I remember I took a picture of my face with the filter and then a picture of my face without anything. Yeah. And I sent it to my friend that's a plastic surgeon. I said, what do I need to do to look like this? And it was like this laundry list of things. It was like nose, job, chin filler was like nose job chin filler whatever the surgery is that takes the fat out of your thing whatever whatever I mean it was like a whole list of things

and I was just like this is so wild like I am a fully like I'm a confident woman and like this filter is making me think about this so at that point I stopped using all the filters I was like I'm done using any filters I'm done filtering I'm done face tuning my photos like this is it. Yeah. See, social media has I got asked this earlier, actually, about my confidence when I was like on Laguna Beach, like 17, 18 to now. And I was like, I was way easier to be confident at 18 because we didn't have social media. Yeah, I have all this stuff now. I feel like our insecurities have skyrocketed because we're comparing ourselves to something that's not even real. It's these apps.

It's all these filters. It's all of these things that don't exist. Yeah. And you know what's crazy is like, I'll even see like some of these women that I know are so thin. They facetune their photos to make themselves even thinner. And I'm like, I can see the photo. And also, I'm just like,

what is going on? Like you have to do that. Like we're all screwed. Yeah. I know. By the way, everybody does it. Even girls, you would never think in a million years taking in their waist. Yeah. I mean, their arms, all the things. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. It really is crazy. But the thing is, it just warps. For me, it was warping my my sense of myself. Do you mean like it was like I felt ugly when I didn't have the filter on my face. And so then I was like, that's a problem when it's affecting me like that. Self-worth. Yeah. So I was like, stopped using the filters. And that was like a big change. And see, but that's what I mean. Like, this is why you're so inspirational. I think I would just wish like everyone could get to that place of just like, screw it. We're done

trying to live up to this standard, but you know, like band together and there's again, there's nothing wrong with like wearing makeup. You know what I mean? Like I wear it, I'm wearing it now. But like diversity, the marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I did a couple episodes. Okay. So the first season, like one of the very first episodes, we just, I just started watching with my boyfriend actually. And that's why it's like top of mind, but she basically like gets into bed. They like say good night. Yes. And then he goes to sleep and she goes in the bathroom. She takes off her eyelashes. She washes her face. She takes off all her makeup. And then before he wakes up, she goes back in the bathroom and puts her entire face back on. And I was just like thinking how sad that is that like you can't let your person, your partner, the person you're spending your entire life with see you without. I know.

Never seen you without makeup. Yeah. I know what you look like. I really know what you look like. Like how sad. I know. I think it's important to find a guy who really does prefer you without makeup. Like that is one thing I will say, like even my ex like hated when I had makeup on and it just makes you feel good. It's just a nice feeling. Yeah. How do you take care of yourself mentally? Do you journal? Do you meditate? What are the things that you're doing to stay this way? So it's interesting because I was single for seven years. I had a lot of alone time. Yeah. When you're dating somebody with kids, that becomes very different. Yeah. And so I basically what I do now is I listen to a lot of worship music in the car. Oh, that's really like good for me. And

then I have one hour every day that I take. It's like Tanya time, whatever it is, if it's my workout or yoga. I don't meditate a ton. Yeah, I get it. Take my dog on a walk like that kind of stuff. I love that. Yeah. OK, I want to play a little game with you no, I get it. Take my dog on a walk, like that kind of stuff. I love that. Yeah. Okay, I want to play a little game with you. What I'm going to do with a lot of my guests is I'm going to read you a headline because I absolutely hate headlines.

I always think they're taken out of context. It's never what you intended it to be. Okay. So I'm going to read you a headline and I want you to either clear it up, say what was really going on or just whatever. A headline? A headline.

About me? There's headlines of you out there. What? No, there are. whatever. A headline. A headline. About me? There's headlines of you out there. No, there are. Okay. Okay. News to me. Are you ready for this? Yeah. Yeah. Tanya Radd accidentally sends her parents lingerie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Sounds like my worst nightmare. Yeah, it actually. Sorry, mom. No, my mom opened it because she literally literally but it wasn't like gross lingerie it was actually like yeah it was like very like tasteful lingerie but i sent it i still have because my parents home address was like my because i was moving around a lot i just use

my parents address is like my for all my like medical and everything like that yeah and so i ordered this new lingerie set and I accidentally stopped sending it to, I sent it to my parents' house. My mom opened it. And like, the best part is, is when I got home, she like asked me,

she's like, why did, you got me the wrong, like she thought I sent it to her, like I bought it for her. That's so great. Yeah, yeah. I was like. Was it like a little nightie?

Yeah, it was like a little teddy, a little white teddy with like a white thong. Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, that's so great. You're like, sorry, actually, that's for me. Yeah, I was like, was like a little nightie. Yeah, it was like a little teddy, a little white teddy with like a white thong. Yeah. Gosh, that's so great. Sorry. Actually, that's for me. Yeah, I was like, that's for me.

Is that for you? Yeah. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was really funny. Well, listen, I think you're just the best. I really appreciate you being here so much. Thank you. I know people are going to absolutely love this episode.

Tell everybody where they can find you. I'm at Tanya Rad on Instagram. Tanya Rad 18 on TikTok. I love that you don't even know. I know. Instagram is my. It's the place. It's my place. Yeah. And then scrubbing in wherever you listen to podcasts and on air with Ryan Seacrest in the morning. Yes. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You know, I love you and I feel the same way about you. I really admire you and So sweet. And just everything you stand for and just like the person that you are.

Thank you. You're welcome. You're the best. I love you. I love you.