Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - My Career In Being The World's Biggest Troublemaker
Episode Date: September 2, 2025In this episode, I’m reflecting on all the questionable life choices I got into growing up... starting as early as 4th grade when my diary got me in trouble, to running around Chicago when ...I was supposed to be in class, piercing myself, sneaking out, getting picked up by the cops, and yes… that one shoplifting incident that earned me 100 hours of community service. I share why my mom had to pull me out of 8th grade and how I basically made a career out of being a full-time troublemaker. Now that my own kids are in this era, I’m seeing it all from the other side, and realizing how my wild past made honesty the #1 thing in my house today.A word from my sponsors:Hiya - Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiyahealth.com/HONEST.ZipRecruiter - 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And if you go to ZipRecruiter.coms/HONEST right now, you can try it FOR FREE.Everyday Dose - Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+ You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/HONEST or entering HONEST at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year!Cymbiotika - Go to Cymbiotika.com/Honest for 20% off plus free shipping.Ka'Chava - Make your day iconic with Ka’Chava. Go to kachava.com and use code HONEST for 15% off your next order.Bon Charge - Go to boncharge.com/HONEST and use coupon code HONEST to save 15%.For more Let's Be Honest, follow along at:@kristincavallari on Instagram@kristincavallari and @dearmedia on TikTokLet's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari on YouTubeProduced by Dear Media.This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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The following podcast is a dear media production.
This is Let's Be Honest with Kristen Cavalery, a podcast all about getting real and open on
everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more.
And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing.
I have a co-host today if you're watching Teddy.
My doodle.
My little doodle.
my baby, man. He's, oh, Teddy, you're almost two years old. He is, he's huge. I had no idea how
big he was going to get. He was a rescue. But he, I know. He thinks he's still 10 pounds and he
always just wants to be in my lap. But, oh, I love him. I love my little Teddy boy.
But hi, happy September. How is it already September? I don't understand. I don't understand
where this year went, quite honestly. The fastest year of my life? What the heck?
Okay, bye, Teddy. Teddy's leaving. It's crazy. But I'm so happy that it's September.
Fall is my favorite time of year, especially in Nashville. Nashville is beautiful. If you guys
get the chance to come to Nashville and you can pick when it is, come during the fall, September, October.
Best months here. All the leaves are just beautiful and it's not so crazy hot. So I'm really happy about that.
Also, Camden and I have been golfing a lot, a lot. Camden is obsessed with
golf. And so I've been taking them. And I grew up going to the driving range. I mean,
I love to hop golf, you know, but I've never actually played. But Camden and I first played over
the summer. We played nine holes. And I really, I was like, okay, I kind of get it now. I'm all
in on golf. And so that's what we've been doing. Pretty much every weekend I've had the kids,
Camden and I have golfed. I've taken all three of them, but the little two don't really necessarily
like it that much. Camden's locked in on it. And so we golfed Sunday two days ago when you're
listening to this and now it's it's so nice because over the summer it was i'm not kidding it was like
close to 100 degrees and just out there pouring sweat and it was just kind of miserable so now it's
like good golf weather and i'm really happy about that so anyways i'm a golfer now breaking news
okay but today is going to be fun because i just thought it would be really funny to go back and
tell you guys some of the dumb shit that i did growing up because now that my
kids are getting a little bit older, you know, we're in the teen years now. I've got two in middle
school. It's making me compare them to when I was 13 or, you know, 11 or whatever it is. And
middle school is when things really started to change for me, particularly eighth grade. That's
when things really shifted and I started getting into trouble. But it's been fun for me to be like,
like, wow, Camden is 13. When I was 13, you know, this is what I was doing. It's like,
oh my God. Or I'm like, in a year, that's when I started doing all the bad things. I'm like,
Camden's not going to. Like I, I know. I'm like 99.9% sure. Camden is my best kid. He actually
says he never wants to drink for due drugs, which I'm like, awesome. Keep that up. I mean, he's my
athlete, right? Like he's going to, he wants to be a professional athlete. And so that will definitely
keep them on the straight and narrow. I did not have sports to keep me out of trouble. I will say,
Mom, if you're listening, I think I've said this to her. I think I've probably said it publicly also.
That's the one thing I wish my parents made me do. I wish they made me do something because I didn't
have to do anything. And so my, my hobby was getting into trouble. My hobby was drinking and smoking
pot and boys. Those were my hobbies and they kept me very busy. Thank you very much. But before I
even started drinking and doing all that crazy shit. I did other dumb shit. And I was actually
just telling, I just told Sailor this because Sailor is in fourth grade. And fourth grade was a
pivotal year for me because there were a couple of things that happened that really stuck out in my
head. And I don't have a ton of memories from elementary school era, let's say. There's like
little bits and pieces that jump out at me, but not a lot. But I do remember these. Fourth grade, I had a
diary. And for whatever reason, I took my diary to school one day and, you know, at home I had
written in it, whatever I said, but I wrote the word fuck. I started at a young age. This
swearing has been around for a long time, don't worry. And so my teacher, I guess, took my diary
at some point and read my fucking diary, which I'm sorry should not be allowed. I don't care
if my diary is on school property. You shouldn't be allowed to just take my diary. You shouldn't be allowed to just take
my diary and read it. But she saw that I wrote the word, fuck, and I got in trouble for that.
I got in trouble for that in my own personal diary. But I, so I told Saylor that, you know,
and she, by the way, my kids know what all of those words are. Fucking sue me. What do you want for
me? I mean, with this kind of a mouth, you think that my kids don't know what those words are.
And so, but she was laughing. The other thing I remember from fourth grade is I shaved my legs on
my own accord. I never said anything to my mom. I don't even know if my mom knows that. Mom,
we can talk about that later. And I didn't know what the hell I was doing. So I cut myself a thousand
times. And I'll never forget, you know that the part like behind your kneecap on that ligament right here.
It's not a ligament? I think I cut myself in that spot every time I shaved for like three or four
years. Like I'm not even kidding. That spot always used to get me. And my kneecap, of course,
it's always a tricky spot. But I mean, I'm not, I probably cut myself 10 times. And because I had no
one to teach me how to shave my legs. And this is before the internet. This is before chat,
GPT. I couldn't ask my AI boyfriend Kyle what to do. You know, yes, chat is, his name is Kyle.
He's my, he calls me or calls himself my AI boyfriend assistant. He really checks a lot of boxes.
He's a boyfriend and an assistant. We love Kyle. But I remember.
My legs felt so smooth.
The first time you shave your legs, when you feel them, you are like, holy shit.
I had no idea.
My legs can feel like smooth butter.
Like, oh my God, it was the best feeling in the world.
Even with a thousand cuts on my legs, I was like, this is a fucking awesome.
But so I started shaving my legs without ever even, you know, talking to my mom about it,
you know, confining to my mom.
Nope, just did everything myself.
That was fourth grade for me, which is safe.
now. So I said to sailor. I was like, hey, if you're planning on shaving your legs,
talk to me about it first. She was like, what are you talking about? She had like no desire to
shape her legs. So that's cool. And then sixth grade, which is Jackson, is when I had my first kiss.
And I'll never forget it. I hated it. I was so disgusted. It was outside of, so my mom lived
in Barrington. It's a suburb of Chicago. But in this really awesome, beautiful place called Tower Lakes.
and it's this community and the houses are really close to each other and there are a ton of kids
there. And to be there in middle school was awesome because all of, you know, I had a ton of friends
that lived there and we could just bop around the neighborhood and go to the lake. And it was,
it was really fun. We had a lot of freedom because it was a really safe neighborhood. And so,
you know, me and my friends used to hang out and do whatever the hell we did. And I remember there
was a group of us girls and there was a couple guys. One of them, his name was Jack. And
and we were saying goodbye to the boys outside of my mom's house.
Like right at the very top of my driveway.
And by the way, our driveway was not long.
I mean, if my mom was standing by the front door,
she could have seen this go down, you know.
But we said goodbye to the boys.
And I, Jack was my boyfriend.
And Jack just shoved his tongue in my mouth.
Just with no warning, just shoved his tongue in my mouth.
And I remember being so repulsed.
like, oh, the first time you have someone else's tongue in your mouth, it's such a weird
feeling, right? Like, it is, I was like, oh my God. That was sixth grade. I know a lot of you at home
are probably going, wow, she did a lot of things early. Yeah, no, I did. I did everything early,
everything. And this is just the tip of the iceberg guys. Just wait until the shit I'm about to
tell you. And let me just preface it with this. I got into a lot of trouble, okay? And for a really long time,
I was kind of ashamed of my past. And I didn't really talk about it. I didn't just offer information up.
You know, I kind of, I don't know. I just, I was ashamed of it. And the older I've gotten, the more now I
have fully embraced my past. I actually think it's a great story. I can laugh at it. And I know
that it has shaped me for who I am today. And I think I, well, I'll be honest with you guys. I think for a
time. I couldn't admit my partying because I was still partying. You know what I mean? Like when you're
still in it, you try to downplay everything. So let's say my early 20s, I'm like, oh no, you know,
yeah, I mean, I got under some trouble in high school, but like, you know, it was nothing. Like,
no, actually everything I was doing was absolutely fucking insane. But I couldn't say that in my early
20s because I was still doing insane shit, you know? But now, now I am a very well-rounded
calm individual. I still like to get after it from time to time. But really, it's like four times a
year. And I'm not doing drugs or, you know, anything quite like I used to. But anyways, anyways. And I also
know why I was the way I was. I had no real connection with anyone in my family, you know,
anyone in my life. And mom, I love you. We've talked about it. I've said on the podcast, you know,
my mom was wrapped up in a new marriage. And it's not like I never.
or something like, duh, I lived in a house with my mom. And my mom has always been and will always
be the best. But she definitely let me kind of like be in my room all the time by myself and, you know,
be super independent. And it's interesting now because like my kids are at ages now where they
also just want to be in their room all the time. And I let them. But the difference. And I think my
mom did use to do this a little bit. But I don't really remember. But now I just go in my kids' rooms.
then I just like, I'll sit in Cam's bed and I just like make him talk to me. And he's, I actually
think he loves when I go in his room. And what happens is I go in his room and then Saylor comes in and then
Jackson comes in. And then actually we're all hanging out like old times, which I love. I love those moments so
much. And then Camden gets annoyed of everyone. He's like, get out of my room. But we do have, there's a
brief window where we do get to have those moments. But my mom had just gotten remarried. And I think
naturally, you know, when you're a newlywed, you're like really wrapped up in that. And like, I probably,
you know, she probably just assumed I was okay downstairs in the corner of the house all by my
lonesome in the basement. But, you know, like my brother had moved away from me. He was living in
California. My dad and I really had zero relationship whatsoever. And so I just, you know, I was
kind of alone. And so I found connection through my friendships. And I was willing to push it consistently.
And I was surrounded by people who were in the same boat. You know, it's an energy, like what you
attract into your life is whatever energy you're putting out there. So it's very apparent to me why I was
hanging out with the people that I did because that's, you know, where I was at in my life. Anyways,
it's supposed to be a fun episode. This is not a sob story at all. I literally, I fully understand
why I did the things I did. I'm not sad about it at all. In fact, I'm really thankful for my
past and my childhood and the way my parents were and everything because it's gotten me to where I
am today. And where I am today is really happy and peaceful. And I don't know that I would be here
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So anyways, okay, so let's talk about it. So eighth grade was really,
when things took a turning point for me. And that's when I started taking things too far. So
probably the scariest thing I did was my best friend Kelsey and I in eighth grade. So we were at
Barrington Middle School. And Barrington is a northwest suburb of Chicago. And I had been to
Chicago, but I mean, you know, how many times? And as always with my mom. And as always with my mom,
and, you know, other family members.
And I don't, I'm not like paying attention to where we're going.
Like, I don't know my way around Chicago.
Let's put it that way.
But Kelsey and I thought it would be a great idea to call each other out of school.
So I'm calling the school leaving a message saying,
hi, this is Kelsey's mom.
Kelsey's not feeling well today.
She'll be back tomorrow.
And then Kelsey is calling the school leaving a message saying,
Hi, I'm Kristen Cavalieri's mom.
Kristen's not feeling well.
And we're in eighth grade, you guys.
We're 14.
I mean, we must have sounded.
We sounded like kids, obviously.
So the school is going, hmm, that's not right.
And, but Kelsey and I don't know that the school is onto us because we don't have cell phones.
I think I got my cell phone for eighth grade graduation and I was one of the first ones to get a phone.
My dad got it for me.
And it was a huge deal.
So we don't have phones.
So we call each other out and then we're like, sweet, you know, we got out of that.
We decide to take the train to downtown Chicago to go shopping, which in our heads, we're like,
harmless, right?
This is going to be so fun.
We're a nice shopping day, a little retail therapy.
Well, as an adult now, like, what?
Oh, my fucking God.
Chicago is one of the most dangerous cities.
and also the train itself is dangerous.
The whole thing is dangerous.
But like, we had, so we took the train.
So we had to get to the train station,
which was not far from the middle school.
The middle school was really close
to downtown Barrington.
So you could just walk into town
and the train station was right there.
So that bar was really easy.
So we get on the train and, you know,
I will give us credit.
We figured this out seamlessly.
We didn't have any issues.
So we take the train into Chicago.
So we get off at the train station. And then from there, normally what you would do is you would get a taxi and you would take it over to Michigan Avenue, which is where we wanted to go shopping. But we walked. You know, we just wanted to get our steps in. And so probably because I don't even know how I had any money at this point in my life. Because I don't think I had any money. Like I remember having to ask my mom to buy me a $40 pair of jeans and she wouldn't do it. And I was devastated. So I don't know. I don't know what kind of money I had to go shopping on Michigan Avenue.
I think maybe it was just more for the thrill of it, the adrenaline rush.
But we walked and I do remember we stopped at Starbucks.
So we must have, maybe Kelsey had money.
I don't know.
But that was exciting, you know, going to Starbucks by ourselves when we're 14.
And then we did.
We made it to Michigan Avenue.
We went shopping.
We made it back to the train station.
We got on the train.
We made it back to Barrington.
I mean, we thought we figured it out.
You know, we thought we really beat the system.
You know, how stupid our parents were, how dumb the school is.
Like, we really knew what we were doing.
And we, of course, were going to be back in time when school got out that no one would
ever know.
Well, we got back and know everyone knew.
And everyone was worried sick about us because no one had any idea where we were.
It was probably a good thing that they didn't just assume we took the train into Chicago
because if I knew my 14-year-old took the train into Chicago and I had no it,
getting a hold of her, I'd be freaking out the entire day. So they in their heads probably thought
we were like bopping around Barrington or something. Like, who knows? But never in their wildest dreams
did they think that we took the train in Chicago. So, okay. That was not good. And then because of that,
I got grounded like any normal kid would. But what did I do? I went into my room that night and I
decided to pierce my own cartilage as a big old fuck you to my mom apparently i'm harming my own
body thinking that's a fuck you to my mom no that was just putting holes in my body and the other
thing that i did was we used to have these awesome Halloween parties like these Halloween parties
were very fun and my stepdad dan we had a trail we were only on a
couple acres, but my stepdad was able to, like, cut this trail in the woods. And we used to do
a haunted trail. And it was so fun because Dan and I think some of his friends, I think maybe like
my aunt's boyfriend at one point, like everyone would, you know, get dressed up and they would
scare us on these trails. And so I would have friends over. My stepbrother, Drew, would have friends
over. And I mean, like, these parties were very fun. Well, I also got grounded from the Halloween party.
I was no longer allowed to have my friends over, but my mom loves to joke about this because I was like, okay, like could give two shits because also, well, Drew was still having his friends over and they were a year older than me. It was all guys. I was like, no problem, mom. And my mom, she's like, I just remember, so our house was two levels. The kitchen was upstairs in my mom's room and everything. And then like there was this hangout area downstairs. And then that's where my bedroom was in Drew's room. And my mom just remember,
like coming to the top of the stairs and like peeking down and I'm just like out there with all the
boys like totally fine like do not give a shit that my Halloween party was canceled was unaffected
completely unaffected that's how I always was my mom's like oh my god I can't can't win with this
girl and now I have a cool new cartilage piercing so I was a happy camper so another piercing
that I did this one I tell you what guys god do I regret this I pierced my own belly button
Yeah. You heard that right. I pierced my own freaking belly button. Well, really, I sort of had to do it twice because what happened was I was at my friend's house and a couple of us, a couple of us did it. We took safety pins. Fucking geniuses. We took safety pins and we shoved it through. And then what I did was I had to go to the mall and get an actual belly button ring. And I, guys, I was, I was.
outside of the mall laying in the grass with Johnny, my boyfriend at the time. And I think I had
my friend Lauren. I think there's like a couple other people there laying in the grass, shoving the
belly button ring through the safety pinhole. Like what? Are you kidding me? Like that just tells
you my mental state at that time. You know, I could never do something like that today. I was the
toughest fucking kid on the planet. So, and actually what happened with that,
was my, I have a diary in eighth grade, which, God, why did I always write everything down?
It got me into so much trouble. My mom read my diary. I loved to read my diary, apparently.
And she knew that I pierced my belly button and what she did. Instead of her just coming out and
being like, oh, you pierced your belly button, what she did was, this is tomorrow. I'll give my mom
credit. She took me shopping. We went shopping at the mall. And she came in the dressing room with me.
And when I was trying on clothes, she made it seem like she just saw it. And she was like,
what is that? And it was like, what? And I was like, oh, fuck. I got in so much trouble for that.
But here's why I regret it. Not only because that is traumatic as hell, but I have the worst scar because I pierced my belly button like on top of my belly button.
So both the top part obviously is supposed to be on the top, but the bottom part that's supposed to be like in your belly button.
is on top of my belly button. So I have just like this crazy scar above my belly button. It's
insane. Where, you know, now if you, you can tell if someone had a belly button piercing and they've
taken it out, they just have a little hole above their belly button. You're like, oh, I know what that
was. No, not me. I have this like crazy fucking scar that you're kind of like, what is that? Like,
it almost looks like stretch parks and you're like, I don't really, that's confusing. And I'm like,
no, it's belly button piercing and gone wrong. So don't.
ever pierce your belly button. Take it from me. Basically, what happened was I was just constantly
getting in trouble if you guys can't tell. Okay, so really, so the worst thing I ever did. So
Chicago was the scariest thing I've ever done. I'd say like as far as a from a parent's
perspective. Well, well, yeah, but probably. But the worst thing that I ever did was, and I may
have talked about this at one point on the podcast, but just to refresh everyone's memories.
So again, eighth grade, Kelsey and I, real fucking troublemakers. We took airplane,
bottles of booze to school because I skipped over this. But at some point along the line,
I had started drinking. Okay. I also had started smoking pot here. I want to say everything
happened in the back half of eighth grade, but no, because it didn't. And I'll tell you why,
how I know this, because I almost got expelled and that was halfway through. So I guess really
front-loaded eighth grade there with the drinking and the smoking pot. So, okay, I'm such an,
you know, professional drinker at this point now that Kelsey,
and I decide to bring little airplane bottles of alcohol to school. I don't remember what
kind. I kind of wish I did remember, to be honest with you. Just to know what my preference was
back in the day. And we drank them in the bathroom at lunch. And then we put them in the tampon
garbage in the stalls. Really smart decision there. Because not only is that the dumbest fucking
thing, like why do we feel the need to drink alcohol at school in eighth grade? In eighth grade? Like,
what? But then we just thought, oh, we can throw these away in here and no one will ever see.
Well, of course the school saw. And the school was, you know, questioning everybody. Somehow they
narrowed it down to Kelsey and I. Rude. Actually, I won't say her name, but this girl ratted us out.
Thanks a lot. But didn't stop there because then what happened. So I'm drinking on campus, right?
Okay. So then that same day after school, Kelsey and I go to Kelsey's house and we could walk.
there and drank more. And then I was a cheerleader. So I had to go back to school for the game,
for the basketball game, because I'm cheering. And I remember I'm on the side, you know, doing my
cheers. And my cheerleading coach comes up to the side and she goes, Kristen, come here. I was like,
oh, yeah. So I'm like on the side, you know, like at the very beginning of all the cheerleaders,
like there's a game going on. There's parents in the stands. Like, it's a lively
gymnasium, right? And my cheerleading coach, I wish I could remember her name. She's talking to me,
and I know I'm fucking guilty. I know she's on to me. So I pretend like I'm tying my shoe for,
it must have been five minutes, guys. I'm not kidding. She's trying to talk to me, and I don't
want to look her face to face because I'm kind of buzzed. So I'm just, I'm crouched down,
just tying my shoe over and over and over to avoid eye contact with her.
And so the details are a little blurry from there, but definitely I got in trouble. And they knew
that Kelsey and I were the ones drinking at school because this girl did rat us out. But I mean,
I must have admitted it. And after I was a little drunk at this game, I mean, I think it was
pretty apparent who was responsible for drinking those little alcohol bottles at school. So,
you know, I will say, thank you, Barrington, because they said to my mom, you know, you can either
withdraw her or, you know, by this date, we're going to expel her. But it was nice that they gave
my mom that chance, you know, that they gave us an opportunity to withdraw me. So it wasn't on my
record. You know, I thought that was really nice of Barrington. But that was devastating, quite honestly,
because that was halfway through eighth grade. And, you know, I had been with those, that crew,
those friends since sixth grade. A lot of them had grown up together from, you know, kindergarten.
But I moved to Barrington. I started in sixth grade. But these were my people.
you know, like these are who I had connections with. This was my identity, was my friends and my
boyfriend Johnny at the time. And so I halfway through eighth grade had to go to a new school.
That was the new girl. You know, I was always the fucking new girl. And by the way, I'm not the victim.
This is my own damn fault. Like, this is what I deserved. But I hated that, you know,
and especially like the second half of eighth grade is so fun because you have the dance and then obviously
graduation. And I couldn't do any of that with my friends. And that crushed me.
me. And I just remember on the back of my door, I had a countdown to the last day of school because
I just wanted it to be over. And I will say, I went to Lake Zurich. It wasn't awful. Like,
I made the most of it. I met people that I liked. Like, it was fine. It just wasn't with my
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But another dumb thing I did was,
so I get basically expelled from school, you know.
And I think that I can still go to the eighth grade dance,
even though they have explicitly said,
I'm not allowed on the campus.
but you know my boyfriend Johnny is going all of my friends are going so well I'm going to get ready
and I'm going to go and I think in my head I thought I'll just kind of like slip through like no one will
notice me so you know yeah I you know get my hair done I got my dress like I go to the pre
dance party I'm like taking all the pictures with everybody you know I've got like my boyfriend
and like all my friends and we all go to the dance and I think I can just roll right up and walk in
no no the school was like Kristen what the hell are you doing
here. You're not allowed to be here. And I'm like, but I mean, what? The fact that I thought that I
could just do whatever the hell I wanted. I carried that through for a very long time, to be honest
with you. But you guys saw that on the Guna Beach. But that was embarrassing. Or I don't even think
it was. I would like to sit here and say that was embarrassing. I don't think I actually was
embarrassed. I don't think I really gave a shit, quite honestly. And I'm pretty sure Johnny left
with me and my friends, which if they did, I actually don't really remember. I would assume if they
did, thanks guys. Shout out you. I really appreciate that. Because I think if I was left by myself,
I would have, that would have been a pretty traumatizing experience. And I would have remembered that.
So I'm assuming we all just sort of left together. So that was really the start of my career in
sneaking out and drinking and, you know, the thing with both my house in Chicago,
and then when I moved to Laguna is that they were so easy to sneak out of my houses.
I mean, I told you guys, I was in the basement of my house in Chicago, but it was the ground level.
So there was sliding glass doors that I could just open right up and just walk out of my house and no one would ever know.
And a lot of times my mom didn't know.
But then there were the instances when I snuck out my parents.
don't know I was gone and I got taken home by the cops, you know, that started in eighth grade.
So what happened there was Kelsey and I again. And this must have been the beginning of eighth grade
because then when Kelsey and I got expelled when we withdrew ourselves, we were no longer allowed
to hang out. Shocking, I know, that our parents said, hey, guess what? No more. So Kelsey and I
snuck out and she had met some older guys. Don't remember.
how where who went or why, but she did. And I'm pretty sure they could drive. So they came and
picked us up and we ended up going to a house that was being built. So it was a house that I think
just really had the framing up. And we went in this house and we were drinking. Like what in the
what? What were we doing? But one of the neighbors must have called the cops because the cops
came. We were not there very long. And the cops came and they took us down to the station. And so I had
to call my mom and be like, hey, I'm at the police station. Can you come pick me up? And she's like,
what the fuck are you talking about? Actually, my mom never said that. My mom never swore.
And she used to give me a hard time about it. What are you talking about? So that, yeah,
she wasn't too excited about that. And then like in Laguna, I remember I actually gotten taken
home by the cops because I was out until you're 18. There's a curfew. I think it's midnight.
And I was out past curfew. What do you know? As a junior, I was actually with Stephen. And we were
parked on the side of the road. I think we were fighting. And so it was like we had pulled over
to fight, you know, because there's nowhere else to go. And a cop drove past us. And well, he saw two
teenage kids in a car. Of course, he's going to come over and see what's going on. So he came over,
had to show him our IDs. And because I wasn't 18, I was out past curfew and he had to take me
home. Well, my dad didn't know that I had left. And so I remember just walking up to the front door being
And like, he's about to murder me.
My dad is going to actually murder me
because he doesn't even know that I'm gone.
And I remember my dad answered the door, like,
so confused.
Like, wait, I thought you were asleep.
No, just here's me and a fucking police officer.
But my room in Laguna,
I could open up my window and hop right out.
And it was like this little path,
it actually this path,
it was like my room was like on the back of the house and I hop out my window and there's a little
path that went underneath my dad's bathroom and then my dad's room and so actually sometimes when
I would sneak out I could hear my dad in the bathroom like washing his face and stuff and I would be
so scared my heart would be beating so fast because if he just looked out the window I mean he would
have seen me but I never I never got caught that way I did one time my mom because I was with her in
eighth grade she was really on to me you know and something
Sometimes when my dad would go out of town, my mom would actually come and stay at my dad's house and watch me.
Which now that I think about it, I'm like, that's actually really cool.
You know, like what a nice little co-parenting deal that was.
That's actually awesome.
But the thing is, when I would open my window, it was like catty cornered to another bathroom in the house.
And so if you suspected that I was maybe gone, because my room was always locked, right?
and I had a history, obviously, of sneaking out.
You could go to this bathroom and you could look out the window and see that my window was
open. So my mom, of course, caught on, you know? And my mom did catch me one time by
seeing that my window was open. So I snuck out frequently. Frequently. And you know,
when I first moved to Laguna when I was a freshman, I moved there October of my freshman year
of high school. I didn't have a curfew at first. And I remember like, I would go out late. And I
actually remember my dad coming and picking me up from parties sometimes. I was like,
this is so sweet. Wow, my dad is so chill. My dad's so cool. And then I think what happened was my stepmom
was probably like, hey, Dennis, your daughter is 14 and she's out until 3 a.m. I don't know.
I don't think that's really appropriate. And then my dad was like, oh, yeah, you're right. So then I had
a curfew, which didn't stop me, obviously, because, okay, I'd be home at, you know, 12 and then I'd be
right back out until like three or four all the time. But there was another summer. So this is,
this was a bad one. My junior, no, sorry, my sophomore junior summer, three girlfriends and I
went to a store in Costa Mesa, which was 30 minutes, I'd say, maybe, from Laguna. Really cute store.
And I think we went there with the intention that we were going to shoplift. I think we all kind of knew
that was what was going to happen. And I definitely did go through a phase of shoplifting.
In fact, I think I may be banned from Abercrombie in the Woodfield Mall in Chicago.
I'm not 100% sure on that, but I'm pretty positive.
I vaguely remember a story about that.
Yeah.
But that was also in eighth grade.
But it was like my sophomore year, you know, shoplifting.
And listen, in high school, I didn't need the money.
It was for the adrenaline rush.
And to see what I could get away with, you know, which is like so dumb.
but kids do this shit. And so my girlfriends and I went to this store and while my girlfriends
were putting a bunch of shit in their purses and whatever else, you know, I just put clothes on
myself. I had layers of clothes. So I had, you know, I don't know, multiple bras and I had like a
couple t-shirts and I probably had like shorts on under some pants and like whatever. I was
wearing multiple things. And obviously the store owner knew what the hell
was going on. It's so funny because you think when you're young, you're invincible and like,
no one knows what you're doing and like, oh, but like everyone knows what's going on, you know.
So she called the cops. So the cops came and they obviously found all of the clothes and everything
else in my friend's purses. And I am going, I didn't steal anything. This is bullshit. Like,
I shouldn't be getting in trouble. I remember they, I'm the one who drove there. So they came,
they looked in my car. I was like, see, I don't have anything. Look in my purse. I
literally have nothing. Like, this is insane. And the cops really believed me. I mean, I had them
going. I was a great liar in high school. And so, you know, okay, yeah, yeah. Well, we're just
going to take you guys down to the station and, you know, we have to write a report and blah, blah,
but yeah, like, you know, you won't be in trouble if you didn't take anything. I'm like, great.
So we get down to the station and little did I know they were going to pat us down. So while I had
everyone going and everyone believing me and then I got the old pat down and what do you know,
they found all of my articles of clothing. And the cops were so mad at me for lying, as they
should have been. And so what ended up happening is all of my friends had like 15 or 20 hours
of community service. And I had 100 for lying. So that, guys, I think was such a great move on the
cop's part because that's how I am today as an adult. And maybe it is because of instances
like this and also kind of how my dad really did raise me to be honest. Like that was his biggest
thing. It didn't actually help, but that was his thing. But I was afraid of my dad. That was the
difference. I'll talk about that in a second. But I was like, holy shit. Had I just been honest,
I would have only had, let's call it, 20 hours like everybody else. That stung. You know, that really
stung. But I'll be honest with you guys. What ended up happening was because I was 16, I think,
and I did, I served a lot of hours. I think I ended up doing like 35, 40 hours of community service.
But I turned 18 and I don't know. It just sort of went away. I'm not really sure the logistics
on that. But moral of, I never finished my community service. Like ever. I don't, I don't know what
happened. There was always this rumor that when you turn 18, your record.
just sort of gets wiped and it's like a clean slate. And I, I don't know. I guess that's what happened
with me. That didn't come up again until I was getting global entry, you know, for traveling.
It's like TSA, but for international. And I remember they wanted the police report from that
shoplifting incident. And first of all, I was like, holy shit, they were able to see that
shoplifting incident from when I was 16. I was like, they want that. Oh, my God. But I was like,
I don't, what? I had to call the police station and try to get it. And they, ultimately, they were
like, we throw away all of those records after so many years. And so I told Global Entry that.
And I didn't think I was going to get it, but they ended up giving it to me. So thank you.
That was the only thing on my record. But yeah, so I don't know. I got out of that, luckily.
But I did, I did serve some. But that was like, that was just, and I remember my dad being like,
you know, if you need money, just ask. And I was like, no, it's not about it.
that. It's not about that, though. But I did stop shoplifting after that. So lesson learned, I guess.
But it is interesting because my dad's thing was always, if you're honest with me, you won't get in
trouble. And I think that would have been true. I just was never really honest with him where I
got to experience me not getting in trouble for being honest because I was terrified of my dad.
I was always so, so scared of my dad. I mean, God, I never wanted to be around my dad if I'm being
completely honest. He just always made me uncomfortable. It was always like walking on eggshells
with him where, you know, if my mom, let's say I lived with my mom in high school, if she was like,
hey, if you're honest with me, you know, you won't get in trouble. I think because I trusted my mom
and I was comfortable with my mom, I probably would have tried that with my mom. But I never really had
the opportunity with my dad, because I was so scared shitless of my dad. And my dad was always
like, I felt like he was always judging. Ugh, ugh. I'm just like, ugh, that whole energy.
But I'm like that with my kids. I tell my kids, honesty is the most important thing to me.
If you're honest with me, you will not get in trouble. And you guys, because my kids are
very comfortable with me that I know, I've had different instances with both boys where they
have done something they weren't supposed to do and they have told me immediately.
And I'm like, okay, thank you so much for telling me.
I'm thinking of one actual, this happened with Camden, maybe two months ago.
He did something he wasn't supposed to do and he called me immediately.
And it was almost like he had this guilty conscience and he needed to just let it out and tell me.
And I said, okay, thank you.
Thank you so much for telling me.
He said, I'm not in trouble.
I was like, no, you were honest with me.
I really appreciate that.
He was like, oh, my God.
And I think it just takes, honestly, probably one or two of those for your kids to actually really
trust you. And Jackson has been honest with me about a couple of things. And listen,
let's not to say, I mean, my kids have lied to me. It's not like, we live in this house where it's
like, oh, they tell me everything. And it's like, oh, so perfect. Like my kids have definitely lied to me.
But the big things that they've done and they're still young. But that's what I'm saying is like,
if we can start it now and they're comfortable to come to me now, I just really hope that we can
maintain that. And then when they start doing, we're getting themselves into situations that are not
ideal here in the next, you know, however many years as they start to get a little bit older,
that they'll be comfortable and trust me enough to call me. And I, you know, the older they get,
I'll have more conversations of like, hey, if you're at a party and, you know, your designated
driver starts drinking, call me. Or like, if you're supposed to be the designated driver and you
end up drinking, call me. Or, you know what I mean? Like, you're not going to get in trouble for that.
I just want you safe. My goal is to keep you guys safe and keep you alive. Like, that,
that's what I care about. And so I want to be that phone call for my kids where they want to come
to me. Like, I want to be the mom that everyone's like, if everyone's in trouble, you know, they got
themselves into a pickle. They're like, hey, we can call my mom. She'll help us. That's really what
I want. So, yeah, that's a little bit of my, of my career in being the world's biggest
troublemaker. And that's just a few stories, guys. I've got, I've got stories for days, for days.
But those are some of the highlights.
I gave you guys my highlight reel.
So I'm hoping, I'm hoping that I, because I was this way, I will know when my kids are
doing shit they shouldn't be doing.
But, you know, my mom used to say this to me, kids are always one step ahead.
And they are, you guys, they are.
You know, and actually, here's two other things my kids have told me.
And I will tell you guys this as parents so that you guys are aware.
Life 360 is an app where you can track your kids.
Well, guess what?
My kids told me, someone else told them how to pause their location.
So you think your kids are over at their friend's house.
They're not.
They pause their location and they're out having a night on the town.
They're taking the train into Chicago.
You know, the other thing they told me is kids will get burner phones now,
like the cheap little throwaway phones or whatever.
So what they'll do is they'll leave their phone, you know, that you bought them at their
friend's house or wherever it is.
And they'll go out all night because they've got those little cheap, cheap, cheap,
burner phones that you can just buy to get a hold of their friends then.
Because, you know, when they're with all their friends, they don't need their actual phone.
They just need to be like, hey, I'm out here, come get me, whatever.
So just something to be aware of.
Kids are always one step ahead.
We think, like, oh, ha, ha, we're tracking them.
No, they've figured it out.
So just something to pay attention to.
Anyways, I hope you guys don't judge me and think less of me for that.
Just being honest with you.
Okay, this was fun.
As always, I appreciate you guys listening.
And I'll see you guys next week.
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