Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari - My Own Real Life Bachelorette

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

My bestie (and dating detective) Justin Anderson is back to break down Raya with me and dish on my first date with "Hot Man" from the app. We discuss men's dating profiles, why I feel like I'm a catfish, if I would have another kid, Justin's big dick theory, and my epiphany with what my issue has been when it comes to dating and men and what my game plan is moving forward.A word from our sponsors:Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code HONEST at jennikayne.com/HONEST! #jennikaynepartner Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase, thats 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a salty friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/HONEST.Visit Seed.com/Honest and use code Honest to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed DS-01 Daily SynbioticGo to HelloFresh.com/letsbehonestfree and use code letsbehonestfree for FREE Breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. Go to SIGNOS.COM and use code HONEST to get up to 25% off your order todayStop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to RocketMoney.com/KRISTINProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. Before we get into the episode today, I want to just quickly talk to you guys about the clothing brand, Jenny Kane. They are supporting today's episode and perfect timing, honestly, because winter is right around the corner and my wardrobe could definitely use a little refresh. Jenny Kane is a California brand through and through, and their staples make getting dressed easier than it's ever been before. Think minimalist and effortless, but totally refined. Those are all my favorite words. From luxurious cashmere sweaters and iconic accessories to elevated versions of all your everyday basics, not to mention the most incredible home essentials too. Jenny Kane is here to help you live your best holiday season yet. And for a limited time,

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a podcast all about getting real and open on everything from sex, relationships, reality TV, wellness, family, and so much more. And just a fair warning, there will probably be some oversharing. Welcome in to Let's Be Honest. I'm your host, Kristen Cavallari, and my bestie Justin is back. Yeah, I'm back. I couldn't stay away. I think we're just going to make him a fixture.

Every time you're doing a solo episode, I just show up. Hey, I heard you were recording today. You're recording a podcast, but people love you. And so I think, hey, everybody wins in this situation. We have fun doing these episodes. Too much fun. Too much fun. And you guys love Justin. So everyone wins. So we told you guys last time we are definitely going to

recap Raya for you. Give you all the tea on Raya. I am going to talk about the first date that I had on Raya. And so I think we just get right into it. All things dating. I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm laughing because I'm thinking about what's about to come. All the things that are about to be said. OK, so want to recap for you. If you missed the last solo episode, it was about how I joined Raya. And I'll just sum it up really quickly if you didn't hear that one. So I was in L.A. I went to dinner with my girlfriends and one of my friends showed me a Raya profile of a man that I literally was like, what the fuck? Like men like this do not exist, at least in the

real world. So I am like, I have to join and I have to find this man before I go back to Nashville. So I did. So I submitted my application while we were at dinner. I get approved a couple days later and I instantly match with this guy. And I am like, holy shit. OK, I'm so excited. Days later, you open up the app the first time you're swiping and instantly you see it. Yeah. So I get approved. You and I from, from you are in Nashville. I'm in LA. We're both creating my profile. I'm sending Justin all the pictures. Like, what do you think of this one? Your profile is fire. My profile is good. Oh, at some point, maybe you should share that. I would show it. It's a good balance, you know,

because I have, well, I'll show you guys my main profile pic. I don't know if I'm allowed to do this. Oh, yeah. Let's think about it. We don't want you to get kicked off yet. I can't get kicked off yet. Yeah, you gotta get married first. Yeah, let me get married.

We gotta find Mr. Right first. You cannot get kicked off. No, I can't. It's too soon to get kicked off. But your profile is really good. It's a good mixture of you. Thank you. Because you're so like,

smiley, happy, party girl, really serious. Covers all the bases. My main profile though is me smiling with my teeth. I don't know why, I feel like men really like seeing women's teeth, but also- If they have good ones. You have really good teeth though.

Thank you, they're real. Thank you. You have really good teeth. You gotta throw that in nowadays. You have braces, right? I had braces twice. I had all the fucking things. Full headgear.

Full headgear. All the things. Full headgear until she was 21. My sexiest era by far. I actually still have a bottom retainer in, which this is. Oh, really? Yeah, you know?

It's kind of chic. It's so chic. But I feel like men really want to see women's teeth because think about it. Like, we also want to see a man's teeth. When I'm scrolling through someone's profile and they don't have

a smile picture with their teeth, I'm like, they probably have horrible teeth, right? We talk about that all the time. Yeah, and teeth are important

to certain people. I mean, now I'm thinking about myself. You can't even see my teeth. My teeth never show. You know what people say to me on social media sometimes?

Do you have teeth? My upper lip hangs over my teeth. You could never see my teeth. I can see the bottom of them. Teeth are important though. I'm sorry. So anyways, my main profile picture is me just looking very wholesome, very girl next door

showing my teeth. Well, that's a catfish. You're catfishing now. Wait, do you want to know though, for real? I do feel like I'm catfishing people to a degree because I don't have anything about my kids on Raya. And what I've noticed is a lot of men that have kids have a photo with their kid. And I'm like, that's really cool that you're A,

putting that out there right away. You don't want to share pictures of your kids. I don't show pictures of my kids. Although I would feel safe to on Raya because you can't screenshot or, you know. But 100% I'm sort of catfishing people. I have, not only do I have kids, although I would feel safe to on Raya because you can't screenshot or, you know, but a hundred percent, I'm sort of catfishing people. I have, not only do I have kids, I have three kids. Like I have a crew. I didn't even think about that actually.

And a lot of guys, they put their kids on there so that you know. So why can't you in your bio just be like, mom, mama bear. What do women always say? They're like, mama to three littles. Like women love to say that.'m like you guys chill like i'll never get matched with any buzzkill so what i do i just throw that on the first date i'm all by the way i've got three kids that's really interesting though because it's like i but when people go to your Instagram on right, they can go and see that.

But then you don't share your kids that much. But I do. Well, OK, so here's the thing. Raya does. You have to. I don't know if you have to, but you put your Instagram on there. What do we do? Any time I'm like if I think a guy's hot or if I'm borderline, I send Justin his Instagram.

That's my favorite thing in the world. We both go in and look at their Instagram. I live for Instagram stalks. She sends me everyone and like I look more than you do. She's like, Justin, I didn't even go that far. Like, you need to calm down. Like, I'm looking at tagged photos. I'm looking at their friends, going into their friends' profiles,

seeing if we have any mutuals. I know, you're like, hang on. But by the way, tagged photos is where you really get a good sense of someone. Because that's where you can tell if they're actually cute or not. But I do feel like because my Instagram is on there and if you go to my Instagram, my bio does say mama and I do have pictures of my kids. It's not their face, but like I do have them on there. There's a presence of my kids on there. And I think when someone goes through Instagram, they see that you have a large

following. They see your name. They're going to Google you like people are going to. Right. But I get what you're saying. That kind of is something that like i know women who are single and their moms like they want to lead with that to see if it's cool before we go any further like are you cool with yeah and and because i talked to one of my other really good friends beaks in chicago her husband because i just asked him i was like what do you think about this he's like i definitely think you should like work it into the conversation because it is a big deal. I have three kids. I think it would be different if I had one.

But like a lot of guys that I go out with, they want kids and that becomes a big discussion. So anyways, that's why I always say anybody listening, I want you to have

a guy who's already been divorced. He has kids of his own, has his own business. I know. I mean, I have a whole idea in my head. Yeah. And it's like where I'm at in life.

Like I'm not trying to hustle. Where you're at in life, you're looking for a in my head. Yeah, and it's like where I'm at in life, like I'm not trying to hustle like I used to. Where you're at in life, you're looking for a club promoter. Like you are. That's why I'm in LA at fucking Delilah. You do secretly, like Kristen, you do, I'm sorry, you're attracted to douchey guys. You know, it's like.

I can't, I can't. I don't think, I can't say too much. But you're basically like, no, I can't say too much, but you're basically like, no, I can't say. Okay. I will save this. Has my picker been off a little in the past?

Sure. I do think the tides are turning and I'm starting to attract better. Better is maybe not the right word. Nicer, more genuine, wholesome men. Yeah. And when I say douche,

I mean like the hottest guys, but anytime you point out a guy, I'm like, Kristen, that guy cheats on everyone he's with. Like that guy never wants to leave the bar. You're like, I love him. He's so hot. Well.

I mean, it's your type. That's your type. I think I. OK, here's like a fuck boy. But everyone calls me. I feel so old. That's what they say. But you love a fuck boy like that. Look, I do like a fuck boy. But everyone calls it. I feel so old. That's what they say. But you love a fuck boy like that.

Look, I do love a fuck boy. I am attracted to the look of a fuck boy. Well, I like hot fucking sue me. But here's here's the thing with Riot. It's solely based on looks. Obviously, you're literally looking at five to ten photos, let's say, judging them based on those photos. And of course, I'm going, is he hot or not? Yeah, of course.

No, there's nothing wrong with that. But I think that like my version of hot versus yours is different. What's like your like hot celebrity guy? Like I'll see someone who's hot. Of course I can see hot. But like, there's always something like a sparkle to their eyes or like a sweetness.

I like a little bit of like an innocence. Hold on. Can we talk about the one guy that I matched with who DM'd me and said, you have the best energy, Kristen? And we both looked at his, here's my thing. I feel like every guy that you're like,

you should go out with him, has a touch of gay. That is fair to fucking say the models, all the models. You're like, this guy, oh my God. He's like the biggest model. No, but to be fair, I'm also the one that I'm like,

I think that guy has a little sugar in his gas tank. Like I can see it. But I think your version of like, who looks like they might be gay is like, if the guy knows how to like tuck his shirt in or like wear a belt as an adult. Like you're like, you look for like a backwards cap. And I'm looking for somebody who has like a loafer maybe.

Maybe a pair of loafers and a pair of matching socks So that's gay. I don't know I want you long term. You're still looking for a weekend I want we conduct the show work I'm just attracted to like manly men and I don't think that equals douchey. I just think Rugged oh, I lovey. I just think like a little rough and rugged. Oh, I love that. I mean, I would love that. I want you to date like a construction worker

or like a plumber or like a guy who rides a horse or something. Same with me. Not for an Instagram picture. Like he actually rides a horse. It's not for content. Well, I thought living in fucking Franklin, Tennessee, they'd be everywhere.

By the way, there's none. Don't come here for cowboys. They're not here. Yeah, it's harder to find those guys. But also here, like you live in a place where like everyone's married. It's not like you're going. Yeah. It's not single or whatever. No. Okay. Let's talk about Element, which I love. They are electrolytes that actually taste so good. Do you guys know how important electrolytes are? If you work out, if you go in the sauna, if you've had a few cocktails, if you just live an active

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I use an infrared sauna regularly. I also indulge in a cocktail from time to time. And so I use Element honestly, probably every single day. I always have them in a cocktail from time to time. And so I use Element honestly, probably every single day. I always have them in my water when I'm working out and I drink one before and after I know I'm going to be drinking alcohol and I swear by them. Right now, Element is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. That's eight single serving packets free with any Element order. This is a great way to try all eight flavors or share Element with a salty friend. Get yours at drinkelement.com slash honest. This deal is only available through my link, so you must go to d-r-i-n-k-l-m-n-t.com slash honest. Element offers

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saving you tons of time. The holiday season can be hectic, and that's where HelloFresh's 15-minute meals come in. These quick fixes help you get a wholesome meal on the table in less time than it takes to get delivery. Everyone wants to cut back on errands and spending time in checkout lines this time of year. So skip that extra grocery store trip and instead get fresh ingredients and delicious recipes delivered with HelloFresh. Just pick your meals, decide on a delivery date and sit back. As always, I am traveling a ton this holiday season. I was just looking at my calendar for November and December and actually January. And I'm like, Oh my God, I'm going most of December. So you better believe I'm going to be relying on HelloFresh to save the

day for me because also I live like 25 minutes from my grocery store. So I can't just pop over to get stuff. So guys, if you're anything like me and you want to save some time, go to HelloFresh.com slash let's be honest free and use code let'sESTFREE for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash LETSBEHONESTFREE with code LETSBEHONESTFREE. So Raya is a good spot to be because you're getting a feel for guys. But I think the guys that you gravitate towards sometimes in my head, I'm like, oh, wow, we're still here. We got a little bit more to go.

I'm going for hot right now. And that's fun for you. I like that for you right now. It is fun for me right now. But it is hard because I actually and listen, I do think men can be so much hotter in person. So because of their personality. And that's the thing, too. Sometimes when a guy is not that hot in photos.

OK, because when we OK, so when Kristen got back to Nashville, you had right. You came over and we were laying on the couch. It was the best day of my life, by the way. We're swiping Ryan. I'm having so much fun or whatever. And certain guys like you would start to swipe. And I'm like, Kristen, no, chill for us. I'm like, no way, no way.

And then it's like, no, let's go look at his social media because you need to get a variety of photos. Because yeah, guys in person are way better looking. They're way hotter. And I get that. And the guys who look really pretty on their riot. Like, that's weird. Why are guys on riot?

When we go to their Instagram, like they look like they want to be bloggers. Like they're taking like fashion photos and they look like a model. Like that freaks me out. You're thinking that much about it. You're editing your photos. Like, here's what I will say.

The guys who I do like on Raya, when you go to their Instagram, they don't really post. Like they're actually kind of a little mysterious. Well, that's the hottest thing ever. When they have like maybe four posts up or their last post was like two years ago. Nothing better. That was my first date on raya he's like that so let me tell you oh my yeah that's right

i forget that we're like recording i literally think we're just i like start to say something like you're not talking to this. But I literally just forgot we were recording. OK, so my date. So we match instantly. And I'm so excited. Right. But so when you match with someone now, they're like in your queue. So you have 10 days to start a conversation.

Otherwise, that match expires, which I love that Raya does that. Why do you like that? Because it's like either make a move or fucking leave me alone. Like shit or get off the pot, right? Okay. Okay, so now in between me matching with him and a little time goes by, I filmed the podcast with Nick Vile, which aired last week. And Nick, I'm telling you.

He's so cute. He's very cute. Cuter in person too, right? He's cuter in person. Yes. Because, you know, the thing with men is like it's their presence. It's like their whole thing. Their confidence. Like if they can look you in the eye and it's a whole thing. So anyways, and he gives great dating advice. I know you guys loved last week's episode, which makes me so happy

because I loved it too. But so he's like, I tell him how I match with this guy. And I'm like, but I'm not, I would never DM the guy. And he's like, why not? And I literally, why not? Okay. I know. And I've had everyone in my life being like you included. Why can't you make the first move? Right. So I guess I'm just sort of like, yeah, fuck it. Okay. So I'm over at Charlene's house who, again, this is my friend with a newborn baby.

So I'm just there hanging, hanging with baby L and her husband, Brian. So I'm like, what the fuck should I say to this guy? Right. Cause this is a big deal. So Brian, who I absolutely fucking love, Charlene's husband. He's such a good guy. He's the best.

He helps me come up with this DM. And it is, hey, I'm new to this app. Is this the one where the girl makes the first move? How fucking good is that? Also, I thought that was your line. Brian's a badass. Brian, give it to me. Which is so you.

Brian, give it to me like you would say that. I would say some shit like that, though. So I'm like, this is fucking genius. Right. OK, so pretty not like a long time after I'm going to pull it up. He responds and he says, love a woman who takes the lead, though. I really should check this out more often. Would have hated to miss this match.

And I'm like, love this. Good response. Great response. Well, I'm glad I took the lead then. Now the ball's in your court. So he said, perfect. Would love to grab a drink this weekend if you're keen and sent his phone number. So now you guys, it's Friday and I'm leaving the next day. Okay. So I'm kind of like, damn it. Of course. Like now the conversation gets going right before I'm about to leave. I've been in LA for a week. Okay. So that night I'm kind of like, damn it. Of course, like now the conversation gets going right before I'm about to leave. I've been in L.A. for a week. OK, so that night I'm supposed to go to Manhattan Beach with my friend Brittany to meet her boyfriend for the first time.

I've never met this guy. So I'm like, oh, shit. And Brittany's like, no, no, it's cool. Like if you want to meet this guy for a drink before and be late, like it's all good, whatever, blah, blah. So I text hot man from Raya and I say, hey, it's Kristen. I'd love to get a drink this weekend, but it would have to be tonight because I actually leave tomorrow. I live in Nashville, blah, blah, blah.

So he's like, great, let's do it. He's like, I get off of work at 630. And I'm like, well, can't you get off earlier? It's Friday. You don't have to work. It's Friday. Let me talk to your boss so i'm like i'm supposed to go to manhattan beach and have dinner with my friend britney i was like

so i could either meet you before or after and then i was like so by the way i'm getting ready to leave to go to manhattan beach i'm like literally doing my makeup as we're texting and sort of joking i was was like, or you could just crash my dinner. It wouldn't be that weird. But you were hoping. Well, I guess otherwise, why the fuck would I would have said it? So I'm like, or you could just crash my dinner. It wouldn't be that weird because I'm meeting my friend's boyfriend for the first time, meaning like so he wouldn't be the odd man out. So he goes, that could actually be really fun. This is the first time they're going to meet. They're going to go on a double date an hour away from

really it's Friday at 530 or whatever. So yeah, we're going to be in the car for a good hour. So because with Friday traffic, so first time meeting first date in the car for an hour. So he's like, do you want offers to pick me up? And I'm like, I'm kind of a bougie bitch.

I already have a car service booked. I was like, why don't you just come with me in the car offers? He said, do you want me to get champagne or tequila for the ride? So already I'm like, I love this guy, like gentlemen. So he gets off work earlier than anticipated, comes over. We get in the car for 45 minutes to an hour to Manhattan beach to go meet Brittany and her boyfriend, which I think says so much about your person. I would never do that. I wouldn't. No,

I wouldn't because it's like, what if you got in the car and you couldn't stand him immediately? Like when I used to, when I was in my dating world, like I would know within minutes of meeting someone, I was like, I don't even want to have like a main course with this person. And it would give me the worst.

I, by the way, I loved dating. I thought it was so much fun. Cause I love chatting and meeting new people. But when there's like the pressure of like, is this going to turn into something? And you know, within minutes, it's nothing.

I want to leave. Guys. So you're in the car with him for like an hour and a half. What if his breath smelled? He is so hot that I don't fucking care. I'm like, I'm going to make this work. Right, right, right. Like I just, you know, here's what I will say.

I actually do feel like I have a good gut instinct on people. I know right away if someone's a good person or not. And I feel like I can kind of just tell, like, I've never really gotten myself into a situation like that where I've been like, fuck, why did I do this? Like even like, well, and I'd also like to say something that people don't know about you is you're my best friend. We do so much together. You can get into any situation and have fun with it. Like even if he wasn't Mr. Everything, you'd still have a fun time. Like you're one of those people, any table that we sit at, like, and you and I are very similar with this. We'll chat with everyone. We'll make it fun no matter what it is in any situation. And we're going to be fine.

Yeah. And that's why I've always said, like like when I go on dates, like I can strike up a conversation with anybody. So that's why I'm like, it's going to be easy. It's going to be fun. Whatever. Okay. So, oh, and the other thing is we have a really good mutual friend. So, and he's such a good guy or mutual friend that I know. You didn't know that before, did you?

I did because on Riot, it shows you who your mutual friends are. So already I sort of have like a little bit of a confirmation that he's a good guy. Okay. So we're in the car. And I had already done stalking. Justin had stalked. We've got a mutual. He's hot as fuck.

I'm like, what could go wrong? We're going to be good. Also, I love the spontaneity of it. Like the fact that he was just like, fuck it, I'll come. Well, that was the best thing. I mean, we were, when we. Also, I love the spontaneity of it. Like the fact that he was just like, fuck it. I'll come.

Well, that was the best thing. I mean, we were when we were talking. I was like, that's what you need, though, because you're so that type of person. Like or. Well, I have to be really planned out because of my life in your normal life. But I'm saying, like, you don't want someone who, like, overthinks everything. It's like, hell yeah, we want to meet. We both can tonight.

Let's go do it. Like, yes. And also, I'm leaving tomorrow. So it either has to be this or I'm not going to see you for a long time. And also, I love that he was willing to go with the flow. He was like, do you want me to pick you up? I'll get tequila for the car or whatever.

You need that because a lot of these guys have been putting it on their terms. The guy I dated in Nashville, everything was on his fucking terms. I've been dealing with guys where it's about them and it's, you know what I'm saying? Oh, I know. Yeah.

Definitely. So the fact that this guy was just like, fuck it, I'll do it. It was like, wow. And I said to him, I was like,

I can't tell you how much I love. That's like a hot confidence thing. Like, you know, a guy like that is confident. Like he's going to go meet your friends. Oh, okay.

So what happens? You guys get in the car, get in the car. And instantly it's just, it was easy. Like it was never awkward. Also what I said You guys get in the car, get in the car. And instantly it's just it was easy. Like it was never awkward. Also, what I said to my friends later, I was like, I didn't have enough time to get nervous or like think about it because it was just like it just happened, which was almost like

the best case scenario. But so it was easy. The conversation flowed. He was great. It was it was great. So we go meet Brittany and her boyfriend, Mark. And we had so much fun, like so much fun. The drinks are flowing.

Now, hot Raya man and I are like holding hands, going to the bathroom. It just like really progressed quickly. The way you fall in love. I'm like, what? At one point, I like took off his hat. I was wearing his hat.

Oh my God. I was like, you have the best hair. You shouldn't cover that up. I was like, don't mess. Okay, So then the manager of this restaurant that we're at takes us upstairs after dinner to a bar that no one's at. He's giving us shots. And then that's where we had our first kiss. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm in love with this man. So anyways, we had the best night. It was really, really fun. I do remember at one point him asking me if I would have more kids,

which again, like I love that we just like put all this on the table. I think like with where we're at age wise, like we have to have these conversations. What did you say that night? I don't remember. I don't remember what I said. I was probably like, yes, I would have 10 babies. I literally don't remember. But my normal answer is that I don't necessarily want more kids. But if I met someone who didn't have any kids, I would consider having one.

Right. And you never know. You never know. I think if I was like madly in love and I met the most amazing guy, I'd have another kid. I'd see you having another kid. I just didn't. Everyone says that. But like Sailor's about to turn eight.

Like going back would be a whole thing. But again, You're so good at it, though. You're so good at it. You are. You're really great at kids, man.

I've always been shocked by it, to be honest. I'm all, you still got those every time I come over. They made it. They're still alive. You're such a good mom.

Thank you. Some people are born to be a mom. Yeah. And selfishly, if Scoot and I have kids, I want you to be pregnant at the exact same time. To be the same time. I know. I know. I could do another one.

I'd probably only have kids if you did it again. Well, if I- Because you need to do it with a friend. Don't you think it's good to do it with a friend? 100%. Yeah. Well, then can we make a pact right now? If I get knocked up, you guys are having a kid.

Yeah. 100%. We'll totally do it. Get on the wait list because it takes a while for you. I'm crossing my fingers right now. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely, no problem. Okay, so to be honest with you guys, the night gets a little blurry, okay?

I don't remember the end of it. To be honest, I really think that I fell asleep on the way home, and I don't remember saying goodbye to him. But I woke up alone in my bed, so that's a win. So, in the morning... I mean, you could have been taking advantage of... I know, I could have. I should have asked him. You didn't have panties on.

Did you see my pee pee? I can't hear you. You've got things that, like, scares the crap out of me. Well, did you touch me below? He carried up you up to your bed. Well, imagine me stumbling up to my fucking condo.

Okay, so in the morning, how fucking cute is this? So I sent him some pictures that we took and then I was like, I feel like shit. This man sends me a breakfast burrito, a smoothie, and a wellness shot. That is so cute. I love that. From Erewhon, my favorite fucking place in LA.

But like, you guys, that was so fucking sweet. That was so sweet. I know it's so thoughtful. It's so cute. It really is. So that's my first Raya date. And I'm like,

I fucking love Raya. Like if this is how it's going to be, I'm all in on this shit. So that's my hot man from Raya. And I am going to see him again early November. So we'll see how it goes. Did you guys know that the CDC estimates that there are approximately 96 million American adults, which is more than one in three who have pre-diabetes of those with prediabetes, more than 80% don't know they have it. So why does this

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and I love Seed for a million reasons. I feel like it's one of the few probiotics that actually does what it says it's going to do. And I love that you don't have to refrigerate it. So this one I can just throw in my bag and I don't have to worry about it. All right, you guys, if you want to check out Seed, visit seed.com slash honest and use code honest to redeem 25% off your first month of Seed's DS01 daily symbiotic. That's seed.com slash honest and use code honest. Let's chat about rocket money. You guys, have you found subscriptions that you've completely forgotten about? Or maybe some stuff that you've paid twice for and didn't realize it? Yeah, me too. And I can't tell you how much I hate that. So that's why I love rocket money so much. Do you struggle to save money every month? Well, with Rocket Money, you can quickly identify all

of those sneaky subscriptions that keep charging you month after month and cancel any that you no longer use. It's such an easy way to start saving money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. With Rocket Money, you can easily cancel the ones you don't want with just the press of a button. No more long hold times or annoying emails with customer service. Rocket Money does all of the work for you. With over 5 million users and counting, Rocket Money has helped save its customers an average of $720 a year and $1 billion in total savings so far. Rocket Money can even negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do

is take a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. Oh, yes. So stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash Kristen. That's rocket money.com slash Kristen rocket money.com slash Kristen. So meanwhile, I'm still matching with people on raya right matching with a decent amount of people i would say but as you should as i you know imagine you're all no one's matching with me is it the pictures so but i i'm pretty picky on raya like i really am there's too picky that's the problem well okay so then you said that to me. So then I was like, alright, I'll

kind of ease up. Now I've got all these guys DMing me and I don't respond to any of them. Well, initially. None of them. That you're not messaging back? Any guy who DMs me on Raya, I haven't responded to one. I'm talking to one other guy on Raya and I also made the first move with him. Well, that's something you need to

work on, girl. Because it's like if they like make the effort, you're like, ew, that's so weird. And then if they don't do anything, you're like, shit, you have to message them. Like, that's where I'm like, we got to figure this out. What is wrong with me? Okay, but here's, okay, so the other guy that I am talking to. Ew, why is he messaging me? Because you're on riot, Kristen.

That's what they do. Can I read you guys some of the shit these men say to me, though? Like, I'm sorry. I'm not responding to this shit. Are you ready? Okay. The million dollar question, Kristen. Where can I find the best coffee

and pastries in Nashville? Well, buddy, I'm not gonna fucking tell you. First of all, no one wants to be a travel guide. Why does everyone think that they want to, like you're writing a book about places to hit up in Nashville. Ready for another one? I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't have the biggest crush on you in the Laguna Beach days.

I think that's adorable. I think that's adorable. I think it's really, really attractive. It's confident. No, that a guy can acknowledge that he knows. I hate more than anything when people try to act like they don't know who you are. I know. When I know that they do any guy who's from like let's say 30 to 45 years old knows who Kristen Cavallari is like

have they ever visited a supermarket in the 2000s like you were on the cover of us us weekly magazine all the time I'm not trying to act like you're fucking Madonna or whatever because I know that people will be like she's not that famous. I'm not saying that. Anyone in a certain age range, like you were part of that, like Paris Hilton, Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan era, where like you guys were talked about

all the time in the media. I do think though. So my point is like, I like that somebody like that just acknowledges it. Like it's okay. I agree. You know,

and also you were a lot of guys like my age and younger. You were their crush. Like, it's OK. I agree. You know, and also you were a lot of guys like my age and younger. You were their crush. Like Laguna Beach, you were every straight guy's crush. Every guy thought Kristen Cavallari was hot. Yeah, no, listen,

I think it's hot when they just say it. I agree. I think like owning that is is very hot. I don't like a guy who's like, oh, I didn't know who you were. Meanwhile, like they know exactly who I am, which I do think there are a lot of men who don't know who I am. Meanwhile, like they know exactly who I am, which I do think there are a lot of men who don't know who I am.

No, there definitely are. But I'm saying if they do and they acknowledge it, I think that's hot. I'm talking more like I hate these guys who are like, my friends say that you're famous. Oh, I know. Okay, shut up.

I know, like, please go away. I just think like for the opening line is like a little aggressive. Why does that show confidence to me? That's like big dick. I don't think it's dorky. Like I... Can you tell people...

Justin has this big dick theory that guys with big noses have big dicks. Oh, it's a thing. And I think it is... Hasn't it always been true? Like whenever you think about it now, if you want to know, it's the nose. It's not the hand.

It's not the size of their body. You go off of the nose. It's an appendage. It's not the size of their body. It's you go off of the nose. It's an appendage. Checks out. Is the nose an appendage? Yeah. No, listen, I totally understand what you're saying. I guess I'm just like, maybe not the first line.

Maybe like after we're talking, you could be like, oh my God, I had the biggest crush on you back in the day. I'm like, oh, that's cute. You know, like I do like a guy who is like who owns that he knows who i am which this is new for you because we just we just recently started talking about this and i was telling you i was like kristen that's not a bad thing when they acknowledge that i think it's really cool when a guy acknowledges it but yeah i get what you're saying maybe not the open line but i also kind of think it's cute for an for an opening yeah clearly he knows who you are when he

lands on your picture or whatever. And I think it's almost weirder if he talks to you for a while and then all of a sudden he's like, by the way, I had a crush on you back in the day. It's like,

why didn't you say that 30 messages ago? Because by that point, you know, you've been texting all day long because you love to text, text, text, text, text. No, I don't.

Yes, you do. You love it. Not anymore. Once it gets going, you're back and forth all day long. I'm like, Kristen,

how about that? I was voice noting with someone for like three hours the other night. You're voice noting with a stranger. But by the way, I think everyone should voice note before you go on a first date with someone to know if you have that like chemistry, that banter. What did we say the other day? It takes a confident person to voice note. And so, yes, I sent this guy a voice note and I was like, sorry, I know these are annoying.

And he was like, I love a voice note. And then that's what we were doing all night. I was like, I love this. Because when you're doing stuff around the house and you want to like get things out, I also like hearing the way that people phrase things because texts are so weird. You can't tell. You can write something and you'll be trying to figure out what they mean. Do they mean blah blah? It's like, no, but if you hear them

say it, you know, I love voice notes. I love voice notes. But a lot of people don't. That's not like, people get weirded out by it. Yeah, like I try to voice note people on my team and they get so uncomfortable.

I voice note fucking everybody. Some people are like, you know, and they just text back. You're like, okay, sorry. You don't vibe like that.

Sorry about that. But it's interesting because I feel like, well, okay, so I was over at Justin's house the other day and we sort of had this epiphany

because, okay, I've been dating, right, for three and a half years now. And it's- This was a good epiphany. It was because I- We broke ground. We really did.

You're building from the foundation up now. The foundation is being built. You broke me down, and now you're building me back up. So I've had this epiphany of like, I think with men, I need to soften and sit more in my femininity because I've been in this mindset the last few years of like,

I don't need a man, but I want a man. Isn't that more important? But that energy in itself is like, no, you're giving off that you don't even fucking want anything to do with men. So I think I've decided I do need a man. Actually, I do need a man for a lot of things.

You don't need a man. You want a man. Well, yes, but I think it's like just like shifting the energy of it is like, no, do I need a man to fucking pay my bills or to have kids with? No, I don't need a man. You want a man? You would like to have. I would love to have a man.

I am a companion. I would love to have a fucking companion. But like I am, I'm ready for it. And it makes sense to me, my journey for the last three and a half years, why I've gone through what I've gone through and like my dating issues with men and whatnot. But I think like where we've landed is that like, well, what it was, was it's okay to tell somebody that I'm into them because for the longest time I've been like I want him to come to me the first few times I like I want him to like chase me a little bit which is all fine and great but it's also okay to be vulnerable and to message a guy first or just be like I can't wait to see you like I'm excited I'm just sitting here listening to Mike she's really believing it now because this is what we talked about and I was saying it

because I every like my favorite thing about you and all of your friends favorite thing about you She's really believing it now because this is what we talked about. And I was saying it because every, like my favorite thing about you and all of your friends' favorite thing about you is like, you're really strong. You're very direct. You say what you want to do and what you don't want to do. But sometimes that could be intimidating to certain guys.

And I especially think when you're first talking to a guy for the first time, and I've even told you like, as your best friend, I had to learn how you use the text. Like you would do things that I'd be like, tell you a funny story. And you're like, sounds good. Talk to you in a bit. I'm like, as your best friend, I had to learn how you use the text. Like you would do things. I'd be like, tell you a funny story. And you're like, sounds good. Talk to you in a bit.

I'm like, oh my God. Like, okay. Like, cause you're very quick. Cause to you, everything is like a calendar. You have three kids. Like you're moving fast. Yeah. I'm like balancing a lot of shit. So sometimes when you show me your messages with guys

and you're like, and I'm like, Kristen, that sounds really harsh. Like you can't say it that quick. Like there is something that's okay to be like sweet and kind of ease into things. Well, my own mom was like, I don't know if you're mad at me sometimes over text. I was like, God, really? Like I've had like people are really close to me in my life. Say these things to me.

And actually last week I did have to text a guy something and then he didn't respond. This is not someone I'm dating. It's a friend. And I realized, oh my God, that came off so harsh. So I had to backtrack and be like, Hey, I realized that came off really harsh. And then I think like, I'm so to the point and direct, but like, sometimes you have to explain, you have to soften, you have to give a little bit of fluff for context for other people. And so I think, yeah, with a lot of guys, I think like, if I don't need you and I'm coming off kind of like direct and cold guys are like she's not into me and I can see why some guys think that

so I'm trying really hard right now but the way that we kind of discovered this is like you would be like there'd be a pause in the conversation or like you in the past three years and you can tell me to shut up if I'm saying too much in the past three years like you've dated certain guys who you've kind of been into and wanted to explore more and it kind of cut off early yeah all these people down yonder

for whatever reason the past three years is like you've dated a lot of known guys like famous I can't say any names or like Sam no just kidding if you say it it's cool oh my god you want me to no no no but you would show me the messages because we share everything yeah so anyone out there listen if you're trying to date her I'm dating you too just so you know and I'm really nice I'm the nice one I will be really is I will be rooting yes like I want this woman to be

in a really good relationship we're showing you messages and I would see where the lol would happen. I was like, Kristen, you don't sound like you're into it. I know. Like, so he's probably, oh, she's not into it. And if I'm never texting you first, like, you know what I'm saying? There's like certain things. It's like, so yeah, I'm realizing I have to, it's like the given pull. I think that everyone should be exactly who they are.

Cause you can't fake something. No. Then you're faking going into a relationship. You want to be exactly who you are. But I think you could benefit a little bit from like having some softer edges on you. I get it. And I think like maybe in a lot of ways, me being like, I don't need a man is like my it's been my protection for the last few years. And I don't think that people all of your friends think about your friends like you have been friends with the same people forever. Like you have the closest people ever.

All of my best friends have been in my life for like 20 years. And everyone, all of us who know you really well, like you are a diehard sweetheart. You're the most loyal person ever. You'll show up for everybody. You really are soft. I am.

You say I'm like way more romantic and soft than anyone could imagine. And that's the thing where like, just recently, like I was saying, like, it's OK to let guys know that kind of stuff because you already without even say anything, you give off badass energy. I mean, like, look at your house, look at your life, look at what you can provide for yourself. So it's OK with all of that behind you to be soft and be like, I am interested in being

in a relationship. I do want to share a life with somebody. I mean, it sounds cheesy and we could laugh at this. No, I think it's, yeah. But I mean, that's some of the stuff that's missing. Because also, we're talking about a lot of women out there and I love women. I love talking to women.

But guys, I think they do. And I hate this when you put labels on men and women or whatever, but I think guys do need a little bit of that softness. I do too. And they need women to kind of be like, I like you. I do too.

No, I do too. It turns men on. My mom has actually always said this to me, that guys need way more reassurance than women do. Completely. They need that little, like, that little boost. And you have masculine energy. Like, sometimes I question whether or not you got.

I do have a big dick. If I was a guy, I'd have the biggest dick. That's like our dumbest joke to always say to each other. You do have like the dick if i was a guy i'd have the biggest that's like our dumbest joke to always say to each other you have like the hugest dick ever i do i do i know so you have masculine energy so the feminine part is the stuff that you need to work on a little bit because it's there it's just like letting it shine through and honing it's so funny because in other areas of your life you're such a feminine girl like you love makeup you love jewelry all that kind of stuff but with guys and

i've seen it too like when we're out okay it's so funny when we're out together and i can see a guy flirting because everyone comes up and flirts with you right but i see you put on it's like sailor her daughter sailor is the strongest girl you've ever met it's literally kristin as a kid personality because she's like what like i walk in I walk into the house and she's like, I'm like, hey, Sailor. And she's like, hi, Justin. But I know she loves me. So then I have to walk around and kind of ignore her for a little while. And then she'll come up and like start talking about, oh, Sailor,

we're cool. Now I think you have to act like a bad ass. But you do that too with guys. I know. I know. And you don't even know you're doing it. Which is also why I feel like you're good at protecting yourself. Like, I'm never nervous about you. Well, that's what it is.

I learned that at such a young age. And so now I have to. You're being taken advantage of, too. I mean, you've just been on a reality show at 16 years old. Exactly. And how do adults take advantage of you? Well, and yeah, adults. And it's because I was on TV at such a young age, it definitely attracted the wrong kind

of guy. I mean, it just did. I've been burned by a lot of guys that I've, like, been in relationships with. I mean... You're still chasing those men. It's shifting. Like, can I just say, like, as you point out, like, they literally

are a bunch of Stevens and Brodies. No, oh my god. Yes, they are. Hot man from, both hot men from Raya. Listen, I've got a type. I mean, I'm not going to deny that. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. And I always say, I can't wait to have like this, like kind of like goofy, silly, like

obviously confident, has a lot going on, but like has a silly side and just adores you and is comfortable saying it. Because also some of these guys too, like they try to match your energy. Like they try to be like you. And then i think they think like oh i'm not gonna text her for a few hours like can everyone stop i hate the games i hate the fucking games so weird it makes no sense to me because also like i've been in a relationship for 10 years but like i've never been like that and i was like if you if i feel

something i texted her i know and i'm like biggest, sappiest romantic in the world. But okay, I do feel like- The game playing is so lame. No, I can't do it. I do feel like the two guys that I'm talking to right now, there really hasn't, by the way, I feel like I'm on my own

like real life version of The Bachelorette. I'm all, which one's it gonna be? But, which is so fun. By the way, and I'm maxed out at two. Like I can't have more people

than two right now. No, it's true. Like I'm busy. I'm booked and busy at two. Like I can't have more people than two right now. No, it's true. Like I'm busy. I'm booked and busy. But by the way, this podcast is going to single handedly ruin my dating because now they know if they listen, they know there's multiple men happening. It's actually going to cancel out what shouldn't be happening. Like fight for me.

God, she literally thinks she's on the bathroom. I am. I am. No, you and I are speaking two different languages right now. happening like like fight for me no i'm actually saying that the right people could i hope that a girl out there who knows the perfect guy who's a cuddly bear who has her own stuff going on she's like oh no you would be and things will happen that way um just enough with the like mystical day. Alright. Alright. Well TBD I'll keep you guys posted. Alright Justin I love you. Thanks for always being here. Of course. The fans love ya. And we'll keep you guys posted on all things

men. Mwah. Bye guys. See ya.